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Mr. Beaks Honors The Best (And Worst) Of BNAT XI!
"What happened?"
"He was devoured by a shark in a phone booth."
- Actual dialogue from Philippe de Broca's LE MAGNIFIQUE
Y'know, after enduring the twenty-six hour avalanche of cinema that was Butt-Numb-a-Thon XI, I feel like I was devoured by a shark in a phone booth a little bit, too.
BNAT XI kicked off, appropriately enough, at 11 AM on Saturday morning, and concluded early Sunday afternoon. During this period, the dynamic festival programming duo of Harry Knowles and Tim League capably guided us through twelve features (six new, six vintage), with time for only the briefest bathroom breaks (a slight problem when I had to miss the first few minutes of SHUTTER ISLAND due to a clumsily-chugged Schlitz - more on that below). With the exception of BNAT V (OLDBOY premiere, RETURN OF THE KING, TEENAGE MOTHER for breakfast, and Mel Gibson flying in with a print of the then unscreened-for-secular-audiences THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST), this was probably the most blissful day (and change) of movie-watching I've ever experienced.
The official lineup:
FAUST (d. F.W. Murnau)
THE LOVELY BONES (d. Peter Jackson)
GIRL CRAZY (d. Norman Taurog)
THE RED SHOES (d. Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger)
SHUTTER ISLAND (d. Martin Scorsese)
LE MAGNIFIQUE (d. Philippe de Broca)
MICMACS (d. Jean-Pierre Jeunet)
FROZEN (d. Adam Green)
CENTIPEDE HORROR (d. Keith Li)
KICK-ASS (d. Matthew Vaughn)
AVATAR (d. James Cameron)
Rather than rattle off a rushed, half-considered, film-by-film summary of BNAT (which is, sadly, all I'm capable of twenty-four hours out), I've decided to repeat what I did last year and dish out "awards" for the most exceptional movies, performances and moments of this movie-mad bacchanal.
Best Movie: THE RED SHOES
Screened via a digital "print", which muted the vivid glory Jack Cardiff's technicolor imagery (particularly on the fringes of the frame, but, generally, anything not directly lit), this is still one of the finest films ever made. The seventeen-minute performance of Julian Craster's titular ballet (composed in real life by the great Brian Easdale) elicited the usual awe-struck gasps, and I once again fell in love with every inch of Moira Shearer.
If the 35mm print screens at a theater near you, go. And when I say "near you", a two-hour drive would be more than worth it. THE RED SHOES is why we love movies (and, to a large extent, why we have Martin Scorsese).
(Honorable mention: FAUST w/ organ accompaniment from the inimitable Graham Reynolds - probably best known for his excellent A SCANNER DARKLY score.)
Best New Movie: KICK-ASS
After all of the hype (to which I've admittedly contributed), Matthew Vaughn's adaptation of the Mark Millar/John Romita, Jr. comic book managed to deliver and then some - even after a blown speaker (and subsequent twenty-minute delay) interrupted the film in the middle of Hit Girl's soon-to-be-classic first fight scene. Actually, it's not fair to call it a fight, since, with one rather shocking exception, no one really "fights" Hit Girl; mostly, they just get slashed, impaled, bludgeoned and/or shot by this eleven-year-old messenger of death (who, as presented by Vaughn, comes off as the greatest little sister ever, not a skeevy, Besson-ified object of desire).
I've only been to five BNAT's, but the reaction to Hit Girl's exuberantly-staged handiwork is without precedent. As Harry mentioned, during the tense build-up to the film's final set piece, the audience began clapping in time to Guns N' Roses' "November Rain"; the bloody payoff produced an uproar akin to a barroom celebration of a last-second Super Bowl victory.
I'll have more to say on the film in a day or two, but, in its confident rearranging of well-worn conventions, KICK-ASS is unique in a way that recalls THE MATRIX. If this can be made clear to ticket-buyers without spoiling what makes the film special, it could easily impact the culture (and rake in piles of cash) in that fashion, too.
Best Actor: Emil Jannings, FAUST
Whether he's under mounds of makeup or in mischievous "human" form (draped in a silky black cape, and sporting a sinister widow's peak), Emil Jannings's Mephisto remains the gold standard for the cinematic depiction of Old Scratch. By the way, The Creator's invocation of "love" at the film's finale is bet-welching at its most deplorable.
Best Actress: Chloe Moretz, KICK-ASS
Our once and, hopefully, future Hit Girl. Watching a pint-size eleven-year-old murderize a whole roomful of knife- and gun-wielding thugs is quite something, but the gleeful, little-girl smiles she shoots at Aaron Johnson's Kick-Ass elevate the character from gimmick to iconic. She is so much more than just a Powerpuff Girl brought to life - and that's why you can expect Comic Con '10 to be overrun with thousands of purple-haired, black-masked tributes. She will deliver us from Bella Swan.
And Moretz is no precocious Dakota Fanning-esque child star: she's got the natural charm and self-posession of a young Jodie Foster. Now to navigate that minefield...
(Honorable mention: Margaret A. Lee, CENTIPEDE HORROR. Because I've never seen Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren et al. upchuck live centipedes. And don't hit me with some "it's never been germane to the story" bullshit. Upchucking live centipedes is always germane to the story. Read your Joseph Campbell.)
Best Supporting Actor: Dominique Pinon, MICMACS
Hard to argue when an actor is greeted with cheers every time he strays in front of the frame. His prideful obsession with the GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS is my favorite thing in Jeunet's movie - which, predictably, is overloaded with eccentrics vying for your attention.
Best Supporting Actress: Zoe Saldana, AVATAR
Saldana's Neytiri may be the most indelible performance-capture character I've seen since Andy Serkis's Gollum. The WETA geniuses deserve the usual amount of praise for doing eyes better than any of their f/x house competitors, but Saldana's elegant and pliant physicality imbues Neytiri with an actual soul. Were it not for Saldana, I probably would've checked out of AVATAR's meticulously rendered, but strangely inert world entirely.
Best Director: Martin Scorsese, SHUTTER ISLAND
Just doing the spread-it-around thing because I want to acknowledge the master's first proper horror film. SHUTTER ISLAND is most effective in its conjuring of gothic atmosphere - with numerous (but not distracting) nods to THE RED SHOES (which partially explains why Scorsese lobbied Harry to show the Powell and Pressburger classic). The flashbacks/dreams which haunt Leonardo DiCaprio's federal marshal character are drenched in dread-inducing blues and reds (sure is nice to have Scorsese working with cinematographer Robert Richardson again). The use of CG in these sequences (particularly Michelle Williams being reduced to ash) represent Scorsese's best use of the technology. Regardless of its flaws (most of which are attributable to Dennis Lehane's novel), this is a vigorous work. Scorsese's got plenty of fight left in him.
Best Screenplay: Philippe de Broca, Vittorio Caprioli and Jean-Paul Rappeneau, LE MAGNIFIQUE
Not really, but the film's unfettered absurdity - inventively married to a pulp writer's (Jean-Paul Belmondo) hectic personal life - is worthy of praise and emulation. There's a squashed-car gag in this 1973 romp that clearly inspired Omar Sharif's fate in Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker's TOP SECRET (though they inarguably made the joke their own). And then there's the above-quoted exchange - which follows the actual devouring of a man in a phone booth.
Best Trailer: THE RAPE KILLER
This ugly, repellent bit of promotion for a little-known 1974 Greek exploitation flick preceded THE LOVELY BONES, and colored/infected my second viewing of Peter Jackson's visually resplendent, but deeply disappointing adaptation of Alice Sebold's novel. The trailer's narrator enthusiasm in pronouncing "The R-r-r-r-r-r-r-ape Killer!" slathers on several layers of Herpes-drenched sleaze. Combined with Broken Lizard's latest (which was screening in an adjacent theater at the Alamo), inspired a horribly inappropriate alternative title for Jackson's film. Speaking of Broken Lizard...
Worst Display of Beer Chugging Ability: Me
I'm going to let Capone off the hook here because, unless he hides it really well, he's not nearly the alcoholic I am.
In any event, my performance against Eric Stolhanske in the first leg of the impromptu AICN/Broken Lizard Schlitz chug-off was a disgrace, and, knowing my beer guzzling ability, reminiscent of Mike Tyson's legendarily listless effort against James "Buster" Douglas. I could make excuses about the huge amount of food I consumed THE RED SHOES, but the failure is all mine. I cost us the win. But I'll get my petty revenge when I review THE SLAMMIN' SALMON*.
Best Impersonation of a Dolby Employee: Cinematical's Scott Weinberg
In this year's installment of "Let's Crush Jeff Mahler's Dreams", our screening of TEEN WOLF was interrupted by a faulty digital print of the Michael J. Fox non-classic. Weinberg's portrayal of a humiliated Dolby technician was chameleon-like. At last, America has its Gary Oldman.
Best Bulgarian Folk Dancing: Bulgarian Folk Dancer
Most Crushing Disappointment: Absent Friends
Thanks to the shitty economy and other factors, a lot of BNAT regulars were not in attendance. Nordling, Scott, Sarah, Bryan and too many others: you were sorely missed. But we will see you next year.
This barely scratches the surface of a wild, euphoric and thoroughly unforgettable twenty-six hours. Happy birthday, Harry! Good luck topping near-perfection next year.
I'll have full reviews for AVATAR, KICK-ASS and SHUTTER ISLAND later this week.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
*Which, to be honest, I have not seen yet. Here's hoping for a return to SUPER TROOPERS form!
If the 35mm print screens at a theater near you, go. And when I say "near you", a two-hour drive would be more than worth it. THE RED SHOES is why we love movies (and, to a large extent, why we have Martin Scorsese).
(Honorable mention: FAUST w/ organ accompaniment from the inimitable Graham Reynolds - probably best known for his excellent A SCANNER DARKLY score.)
I've only been to five BNAT's, but the reaction to Hit Girl's exuberantly-staged handiwork is without precedent. As Harry mentioned, during the tense build-up to the film's final set piece, the audience began clapping in time to Guns N' Roses' "November Rain"; the bloody payoff produced an uproar akin to a barroom celebration of a last-second Super Bowl victory.
I'll have more to say on the film in a day or two, but, in its confident rearranging of well-worn conventions, KICK-ASS is unique in a way that recalls THE MATRIX. If this can be made clear to ticket-buyers without spoiling what makes the film special, it could easily impact the culture (and rake in piles of cash) in that fashion, too.
And Moretz is no precocious Dakota Fanning-esque child star: she's got the natural charm and self-posession of a young Jodie Foster. Now to navigate that minefield...
(Honorable mention: Margaret A. Lee, CENTIPEDE HORROR. Because I've never seen Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren et al. upchuck live centipedes. And don't hit me with some "it's never been germane to the story" bullshit. Upchucking live centipedes is always germane to the story. Read your Joseph Campbell.)
Worst Display of Beer Chugging Ability: Me
I'm going to let Capone off the hook here because, unless he hides it really well, he's not nearly the alcoholic I am.
In any event, my performance against Eric Stolhanske in the first leg of the impromptu AICN/Broken Lizard Schlitz chug-off was a disgrace, and, knowing my beer guzzling ability, reminiscent of Mike Tyson's legendarily listless effort against James "Buster" Douglas. I could make excuses about the huge amount of food I consumed THE RED SHOES, but the failure is all mine. I cost us the win. But I'll get my petty revenge when I review THE SLAMMIN' SALMON*.
Best Impersonation of a Dolby Employee: Cinematical's Scott Weinberg
In this year's installment of "Let's Crush Jeff Mahler's Dreams", our screening of TEEN WOLF was interrupted by a faulty digital print of the Michael J. Fox non-classic. Weinberg's portrayal of a humiliated Dolby technician was chameleon-like. At last, America has its Gary Oldman.
Best Bulgarian Folk Dancing: Bulgarian Folk Dancer
Most Crushing Disappointment: Absent Friends
Thanks to the shitty economy and other factors, a lot of BNAT regulars were not in attendance. Nordling, Scott, Sarah, Bryan and too many others: you were sorely missed. But we will see you next year.
This barely scratches the surface of a wild, euphoric and thoroughly unforgettable twenty-six hours. Happy birthday, Harry! Good luck topping near-perfection next year.
I'll have full reviews for AVATAR, KICK-ASS and SHUTTER ISLAND later this week.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
*Which, to be honest, I have not seen yet. Here's hoping for a return to SUPER TROOPERS form!
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shutter island is a script i'm really happy about being the writer of
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I like it...
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Reviewing Armored. Not like ever second of the up coming Predator movie wasn't covered or anything.
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Get the fuck out of here. He needs to have a sit down with the directors of 1408 and Invasion.
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...that is the definition of "damning with faint praise".I'm not a hater. I'll see it...hope it's good. The trailers don't do much for me tough...
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You crack me up. Keep up the good work.
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Mr. Beaks is nothing if not consistent.
(C'mon...you walked right into that one.) -
goes to the University of Oregon shirt worn by Christine (Jaqueline Bisset) in "Le Magnifique." Imagine my surprise at seeing my alma mater immortalized in a 1973 French... classic?
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When you told me you thought it was a UO shirt, I was like "How in the hell is that even possible?"But, then... there it was in all of its glory.I hope it's a sign. Rose Bowl, baby. GO DUCKS, Beat the Bucks!
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Maybe if you had taken a page from that flick you would have known that the Broken Lizard guys don't mess around. But seriously, Beerfest is awesome filmmaking.
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Total crap. No chance of actually being good - but fanboys with lower standards will eat it up
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You should probably have said the best AND ONLY mo-capped major character since Gollum
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...that his taste in movie is askew...meaning, it's all fucked up. So don't fret about him not picking Avatar...it's actually a good sign.
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What about Alam Tudyk in I, Robot? Or all the guys in Zemeckis movies like Polar Express, Beowulf, and Christmas Carol?
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Screenwriter of Shutter Island, The Bionic Woman, and Birds of Prey.
Poorly played, you greek whore. -
Dec 14, 2009 5:53:31 PM CST
Has The Game watched AVATAR and was he changed?
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
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Peter Jackson wasted another 2-3 years of his life then ...... That man has lost it BIG TIME!
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Beaks would like every movie more if it wallowed in rape and misery. Maybe they should cut the nice-looking stuff out of Lovely Bones and replace it with scenes from Se7en, eh?
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...all the monsters in "I Am Legend", with the leader/smart one played by Dash Mihok.
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You'll be here forever listing it off. The only time I think it's been any good was LOTR and Avatar. Heh, I did think it was funny that they promoted it so heavily for Incredible Hulk and then pretty much key framed most of the expressive work. Take that actors!
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It helps me forget for a moment that you shunned CHILDREN OF MEN. Good job!
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...Le Magnifique, which is a gloriously goofy movie (with a gloriously young and gorgeous Jackie Bisset). The Lovely Bones, which is the only one of the new films I've seen, is a disappointment. Still and all this sounds like a great BNAT to have attended.
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Yep, last year was way better than this year. Provided you like to watch a guy wander around in a forest for hours on end. Damn my timing!
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Avatar failed. got it.
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I hate when writers bullshit the readers. Imagine true "awestruck gasps". Imagine the audience, the sound, the mouths agape, right? Then imagine a theater filled with Star Wars nerds as they watch a fucking BALLET scene. Yeah. "Awestruck gasps" aren't very fucking credible, now are they?
Now, a bunch of nerds cheering their heads off as an eleven year-old girl with a sword eviscerates a room full of thugs, THAT I can believe. -
...Beowulf? Scrooge? Kong?
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I am only reading his columns for entertainment, clearly our tastes differ big time.
I would not expect Beaks to like Avatar, and would be surprised for a high review from beaks on that one.
Though I am still waiting for Top 10's etc from the other guys. So at least you made the effort beaks
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Dec 14, 2009 7:13:19 PM CST
I also laughed a little too loud after reading best trailer
by miyamoto_musashi
As others have already commented too funny and too appropriate after your top 100.
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Dec 14, 2009 7:19:40 PM CST
Beaks edited the bit about Zoe Saldana, originally said
by miyamoto_musashi
Best Supporting Actress: Zoe Saldana, AVATAR
Saldana's Neytiri may be the most indelible performance-capture character I've seen since Andy Serkis's Gollum. The WETA geniuses deserve the usual amount of praise for doing eyes better than any of their f/x house competitors, but Saldana's elegant and pliant physicality imbues Neytiri with an actual soul. Were it not for Saldana, I probably would've checked out of AVATAR's meticulously rendered, but strangely inert world entirely. If her character had been raped then we could very well be seeing an Oscar nomination for Zoe. James Cameron needed to make a more realistic comparrison to historical invasions and attacks whether it be the Vietnam War, European invasion/colonisation of most of the world, it all involved rape of the local women. James Cameron I ask you where was the rape. -
Every Beaks article will now feature rape comments in the TB. Awesome...sing the Pythong Spam song but replace the word Spam with rape and you have Beaks' new theme song.
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Dec 14, 2009 7:31:59 PM CST
Beaks generally has extremely pretentious,
by turd_has_risen_from_the_grave
and just plain bad, taste. Bashing Avatar? But then, this was the guy who put Talladega Nights, Bring It On, Miami Vice and other duds in his top 100 of the 00's, as well as Irreversible at No.1, while missing out TDK and other geek favorites entirely. Transparently pseudo-intellectual, unconvincing and trite. He should know his place and that he is out of his depth.
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True, I mean I am commenting on Irreversible, which personally I think was a great movie and possibly deserves a spot in a top 100, its personal taste where it goes.
But the inclusion of the likes of Bring it On, Miami Vice at the exclusion of so many good movies, was when the list became like watching Manos Hands of Fate, the Mystery Science Theater version. -
Irreversible was not too bad, but really his 100 best list was deliberately chosen to piss people off. TDK is somewhat over-rated, but certainly deserved a place on at least a top 100 - its exclusion could only have been calculated and deliberate, certainly on this type of site. In fact, his list was almost devoid of genre movies, instead filled with staid oscar bait, or deliberately bizarre choices. Which about sums up what I, and many others, dislike about Beaks - he is a pretentious phony, a talkbacker made good, who thumbs his nose at the 'lowly' readership. It's all artifice, and I see through his schtick a mile off. I have my criticisms of Harry as well, for entirely different reasons, but at least he is guileless and devoid of self-importance.
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Is anyone assraped in The Red Shoes?
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He's a comedian that fucks his mother! lol
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I, too, have to wonder if Mr. Beaks Top 100 was some kind of calculated stunt to incite clamorous reaction. When a reviewer on "Ain't It Cool News" snubs genre benchmarks, like THE DARK KNIGHT and 28 DAYS LATER, only to trumpet titles like DOGVILLE and IRREVERSIBLE, readers are bound to be surprised and many outraged. I thought there were many good titles on Beaks' list, but when it came down to the final "Top" 25, I felt like I was witnessing some self-indulgent posturing.
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Maybe I'll start applying next year. This seems a very tough act to ever beat, though.That said, I've seen The Red Shoes, and - although that ballet scene is incredible - it plays a little dated for me. Sorry.
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I'm watch anchor man commentary and it's the best thing i've ever heards.
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Fucking great on all levels. I've also seen Kick Ass (several months ago), and comparing the two is just silly. While Kick Ass is a fun as hell ride, Avatar captures the wonder I haven't felt since the 1st time I saw Jurassic Park.
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...of the word "pretentious". Really, they do. Then, look up the word "honesty". After that, try checking out "opinion". Then put the three next to each other, compare, absorb, and get a freakin' clue.
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Dec 15, 2009 1:50:57 AM CST
The fanboyism/groupthink/hype surrounding Kick-Ass is
by margarettarosea
nearing digusting levels. Having to put down Avatar just to lift up Kick Ass puts you in the same category as Devin Faraci Beaks. The general public will enjoy Avatar more than your precious Kick Ass, Fanboys. In 10 years time, Kick Ass will be but a faint memory (in the eyes of the general public; not you) but the legacy of Cameron's contribution to film technological advancement will be profoundly apparent. And by the way, AVATAR > KICK ASS
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It really is. However, something like Avatar is on a different level. As geeks, we can enjoy both, but my nerd focus is blue people right now...
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Avatar is far superior to kick ass. Fuck AICN and their bullshit Kick ass hype!AVATAR is a masterpiece!
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That new "print" starts screening in the UK at the BFI today until the 30th. It is quite stunning, the UK Blu-Ray, which looks like the same transfer, is also great stuff.
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26 straight hours of movies just wouldn't work for me, no matter how good they are. I'd be mentally checked out by hour 15 at latest. A man's gotta know his limitations. It does *sound* fun and I do like reading abot it though.
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Just picked up the Globe noms for picture, director, score, and song. no surprise there...
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You're still shit though.
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