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Mr. Beaks Presents His Top 100 Films Of The Decade! Part Two Of Four Stimulating Installments!
For the first twenty-five, and a thorough explanation on my highly complex ranking methodology, read this. For the next twenty-five, read on...
75. THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (2005, w. & d. Judd Apatow)
From another lost-to-the-void Collider review: "As is often the case in [Judd] Apatow's work, it's not so much the material but the character - an element lacking in many studio comedies nowadays. Of course Apatow can craft a gag like nobody's business, but he's able to balance his broad sensibilities with something recognizably human. Beneath the silliness of UNDECLARED lurks a truth wincingly familiar to anyone who ever muddled through a freshman year of college. And though there hopefully aren't too many forty-year-old virgins out there, who can't empathize on some level with Andy's sexual dread?"
This was Apatow's first film as a director, and it remains his most rewarding: though the youthful ensemble of KNOCKED UP is looser and more comfortable with each other, the cutthroat competition for laughs in THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN results in more inspired riffing. And when Apatow expanded the picture to 133 minutes for the unrated DVD, the additional scenes were all gems. Hell, even the blown takes were terrific (e.g. Gerry Bednob's addled invention of a new sexual position called the "Alligator Fuckhouse"). I guess you're supposed to hate Apatow now that he's established an aesthetic, but, really, would you rather studios return to the '90s glory days of high-concept comedy? Or how about shoehorning all of Apatow's discoveries into formula dross like YOU, ME AND DUPREE or THE UGLY TRUTH? How about a remake of WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S with Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel and Dave Allen as Bernie? No? Then why don't you leave the man alone.
74. AMERICAN SPLENDOR (2003, d. Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini, w. Berman and Pulcini)
This highly inventive adaptation of Harvey Pekar's long-running comic book - which stars Paul Giamatti as Pekar, a well-read curmudgeon eking out a living as a Veteran's Administration file clerk in Cleveland, Ohio - seamlessly blends real life and dramatic recreation to the point where the protagonist's life feels as if it's been one long (kinda cruel) experiment in mundanity. Berman and Pulcini cleverly get you laughing at Pekar's predicament before clobbering you with the epiphany that a) most lives are this crushingly uneventful, and b) you'll be blowing out the candles on that retirement cake soon enough. A rare, perceptive film about working class intellectuals. Giamatti's performance ranks among the decade's best (which, of course, means he wasn't even nominated for an Oscar).
From my 2003 AICN interview with Harvey Pekar: "This is not to say, however, that Pekar’s outlook isn’t unremittingly bleak. The sixty-something writer doesn’t seem any happier now that he’s retired from that soul-snuffing job as a clerk at a Cleveland VA Hospital. To wit: at the end of the movie, Harvey undercuts his acknowledgement of the potential windfall from doing the movie by noting that there’s just a short window of opportunity left open to him after a life of hard work, lamenting that his family life isn’t any less contentious or complicated than it was ten years ago. But if Harvey’s reward is more tsuris, our reward, then, are more comics, which ain’t so bad for either of us."
73. THE FOUNTAIN (w. & d. Darren Aronofsky)
Darren Aronofsky's madly ambitious film about the quest to not die, and to not let anyone we love die, leads with its soul and succeeds because the writer-director never once tries to over-intellectualize the experience. He just wants to break our heart. In trying together three not-too-disparate stories - about a conquistador's search for the tree of life, a cancer researcher's attempts to disappear his wife's brain tumor, and a future dude's intergalactic journey with a dying tree and his deceased wife's ghost - Aronofsky evokes deep sadness as we have our silly hopes crushed once again. Life and love are fleeting, loss is inevitable, and there ain't a damn thing we can do about it.
THE FOUNTAIN is the heartfelt flip-side to the oppressive nihilism of REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. It's also Aronofsky's finest film to date. Sadly, Clint Mansell's lovely score is now being used to sell insipid Hollywood product. If you love this film as much as I do, this cue should wreck you every time you hear it:
72. UNITED 93 (2006, w. & d. Paul Greengrass)
From my 2006 Collider review: “As for unflinching, documentary-style recreations of actual events, United 93 is as relentless as Gillo Pontecorvo’s The Battle of Algiers (though, obviously, much more contained and much, much less political). Greengrass has no intention of sparing the audience any of the ugliness that transpired on the ill-fated flight, particularly in the grisly third act, and his ferociousness will certainly prove too much for more sensitive viewers. As someone who viewed the smoldering Twin Towers from the twenty-sixth floor of the MetLife Building in midtown Manhattan, and, like so many other New Yorkers, glumly went through the motions for a week or two following the attack on our city, I often wondered what the hell I was doing in the theater. Aside from bearing witness to Greengrass’s maturation as a filmmaker (and this is easily his most accomplished work yet), I spent most of the moments prior to the start of the film trying to figure out why I’d bothered.
...[But] that’s why United 93 needs to exist, and why I think it will become an important, widely-seen documenting of the day everything changed for Americans. We need to remember the heroic deeds in the early hours of 9/11, and, for the sake of unity, we don’t necessarily need politics to enter into it. That said, the apolitical nature of Greengrass’s film may wind up rendering it a little quaint once writers and directors grow a bit bolder in tackling the subject. Rossellini’s Open City and Pontecorvo’s The Battle of Algiers still resonate today because they have a contentious point of view; though far from timid, the objective United 93 is ripe to eventually get overshadowed by more opinionated works.”
Even if those works come along in the next decade, UNITED 93 will always be a chilling and boldly unsentimental reminder that that could've been you or me on that plane. Several years after its theatrical release, this film now feels incapable of being overshadowed.
71. THE HOLY GIRL (2004, w. & d. Lucretia Martel)
A vast improvement over her first movie, LA CIENAGA (which felt like a study of human beings struck inactive by extreme humidity), THE HOLY GIRL finds Lucretia Martel figuring it out as she goes along - both as a director and a storyteller. Whereas little seemed to coalesce by the end of LA CIENAGA (thematically or narratively), everything sort of slides into place here, and what at first threatens to be a morality play about a middle-aged doctor's improper contact with a teenage girl (brought on by, what else, a theremin) gradually turns into a mediation on the absence of innocence. At least, that's my take. Martel's film is generously open-ended - even though it's also put together with a deceptive precision. She's a major talent. (And I must shamefully admit that I have yet to see THE HEADLESS WOMAN.)
70. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (2005, d. Ang Lee, w. Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana)
From my Best of 2005 for Collider: "When Ang Lee was told BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, which utilizes young actors to tell a multi-generational tale of societal discovery, could be viewed as “GIANT turned inward”, he smiled and shot back, “Or GIANT turned outward”. Such irreverence may have been unexpected after the heartbreak of his lushly romantic epic, but that puckish comment underscores the wry humanity present in all of Lee’s films. Sure, he tackles weighty topics with occasionally tragic outcomes, but you can’t get to the wounded core of your characters without a touch of levity, which is abundant in Jack and Ennis’s gradual, unexpected courtship at the outset. Working from a fantastic script by Larry McMurty and Diana Ossana, Lee avoids the pitfalls of obviousness at every turn, right up to the pulverizing finale where the emotional understatement of all that’s come before pays off in well-earned tears - at which point BROKEBACK equals the impact of its fifty-year-old progenitor with a far more economical use of screen time. (It’s also important to note that, like George Stevens, Lee is not revising the Western genre; he's seeking to redefine an archetype much bigger than its filmic representation. In other words, comparisons to other Westerns are awfully limiting.)
I had no idea how apt those GIANT comparisons would be three years ago. And even though we got more, quantity-wise, from Ledger, the thought that he exited right at the moment he was coming alive as a performer is anything but comforting.
69. WALL-E (2008, d. Andrew Stanton, w. Stanton and Jim Reardon)
From my 2008 AICN review: Despite the gentle, MODERN TIMES-inspired satire, "true love" is the motor of this story. It's a lovely gesture, and it makes me smile, but there's a part of me that wonders whether we'd be referring to Stanton's film as genuflectingly brilliant if he left WALL-E's memory wiped at the end. Most all-ages classics require some semblance of sacrifice: we assume Elliott will never see E.T. again, whilst another noggin-knockin' trip to Oz would probably leave Dorothy talking like Leon Spinks. But after a few we-know-you're-not-going-there scares, WALL-E gets rebooted and is shipshape once again (like Uhura post-"The Changeling").
On second thought, since I've made a similar argument in defense of Tom Cruise's kid "miraculously" returning at the end of Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS, I'm going to be consistent and say the ending is exactly what it needs to be: WALL-E lays out for "the needs of the many", and he is duly rewarded by not being reduced to a memory-wiped droid. This doesn't mean WALL-E is now "genuflectingly brilliant", but it is top-shelf Pixar - and that's more than good enough to place here.
68. SUPERBAD (d. Greg Mottola, w. Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen)
From my Best of 2007 list from CHUD: "The return of Greg Mottola (director of the underrated and underseen The Daytrippers), the debut of Christopher Mintz-Plasse (the Anthony Michael Hall of his generation if he's unlucky, which I don't think he'll be) and more stellar Apatow. Everyone jokes that there's going to be a backlash at some point (maybe the box office failure of Walk Hard is an indication of this), but why? As long as the company keeps expanding, and the leads keep changing (though Seth Rogen is a bona fide superstar, and could do with a movie a year), what's there to resent besides success? In a way, I think Superbad points the way forward: it's the Apatow aesthetic in the hands of a filmmaker with a completely different skill set. It's also (in its theatrical incarnation) the tightest of the Apatow flicks thus far."
Two years later, it still is. Though the comedy gets pretty broad at times, SUPERBAD effortlessly exudes that universal, wild-night-out feel that made DAZED AND CONFUSED an instant classic. This is largely the doing of Mottola, who followed this up with the ADVENTURELAND, a bittersweet evocation of post-college ennui that deserves a much wider audience. I love both films, but SUPERBAD hits so many highs (Cera enchanting a roomful of cokeheads with his frightened rendition of "These Eyes"; Carla Gallo leaving her mark on Hill's pants; that nervous/giddy moment before Mintz-Plasse empties Hader's service revolver) that it just barely gets the nod.
67. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (2009, d. Spike Jonze, w. Jonze and Dave Eggers)
A film that could very well move up this list as the years pile on.
I haven't gone back since my first viewing, but the final scene - where Keener falls asleep watching a safely-returned Max scarf down his dinner without a care in the world - hits me hard. Though we didn't realize it at the time, we all participated in those moments - where our mothers found solace in us just being happy and young and theirs. And you get the sense that Keener hangs on to consciousness for as long as she can because she knows how fleeting this all is. In a few years time, Max will enter middle-school, and this bond will dissolve. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE strikes many resonant, melancholy chords, but in the end, it just made me miss being a kid for my mom. And that's why it made me sad.
I also think the final shot of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is a complete downer, so if I'm alone in this reading, so be it.
From my 2009 AICN interview with Spike Jonze: "While WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE feels like a deeply personal film for Jonze, its depiction of a bratty kid run amok - and away to an island of moody monsters - is also incredibly inclusive. The specifics of Max's childhood may not resemble yours, but the highs and lows he experiences should be painfully familiar. No film has more perfectly captured what it feels like to be nine years old."
66. THE CONSTANT GARDENER (2005, d. Fernando Meirelles, w. Jeffrey Caine)
Beats the tar out of THE LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL. From my 2005 review for Collider: "It took a filmmaker as prodigiously talented as Fernando Meirelles to finally transfer John le Carré successfully to the screen, though his accomplishment reaches past the angry espionage of the novel to discover a doomed romanticism reminiscent of Anthony Minghella’s The English Patient. Borrowing that film’s lead (the great Ralph Fiennes), Meirelles has skillfully constructed a love story in which affection is not truly requited until both parties are murdered. Rachel Weisz’s Tessa Quayle hastens her death questing justice; Fiennes’s Justin Quayle brings about his by taking on Tessa’s cause after jealously investigating her possible infidelity. Justin’s a horrible sleuth, the meek antithesis of Harry Palmer, but Meirelles and le Carré aren’t after a rousing thriller in that mold. And though the movie brims with righteous indignation, it isn’t a political tract, either. What stays with you is the thought of Tessa and Justin reaching the same terminus alone."
65. LAKE OF FIRE (2007, d. Tony Kaye)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I knew where I came down on the abortion issue before I saw Tony Kaye's Lake of Fire; afterwards... I was a lot less certain. An objective and exhaustive documentary examining both sides of this roiling, often violent debate, Kaye challenges our preconceived notions by juxtaposing the tired, talking-point spiel regurgitated by the rank-and-file with thoughtful analysis from journalists like Nat Hentoff (who skillfully, if not entirely persuasively, argues the inconsistency of being anti-death penalty and pro-choice). But don't mistake this for a talking heads affair; Kaye reminds us, with his brilliant black-and-white cinematography, that he's one of the most visually gifted filmmakers working today. He's also unflinching in his depiction of the actual process of abortion, the aftermath of which will surely be too much for most viewers. Sensationalism aside, Kaye's still made the most thorough and even-handed documentary on this deeply divisive subject."
64. TIME OF THE WOLF (2003, w. & d. Michael Haneke)
This unusually straightforward work from Michael Haneke is about a French family struggling to cope with the end of the world as we know it. Haneke skimps on the catastrophic particulars and instead focuses on the collapse of society - which has been depicted hundreds of times before, but rarely with this level of verisimilitude. Isabelle Huppert is sensational as the mother fighting to protect her children and maintain civility as the strangers they encounter gradually give in to their basest survival instincts. What's surprising here is Haneke's near-acknowledgment that order can be reimposed; inevitably, as long as the planet's not in a sere shambles or a pipin' hot ball of fire (hey there, Alex Proyas!), we will rebuild. This is the one Haneke film that helps you up after it knees you in the nuts.
63. KAIRO (2001, w. & d. Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
Hands down the best J-horror film of the decade - so long as you're counting AUDITION as a 1999 release. Though its "gimmick" of spooky images being captured via webcams feels incredibly quaint nowadays, Kiyoshi Kurosawa's 2001 classic is still an impeccably-crafted, slow-burner of a ghost story. As with most films of this subgenre, the set pieces are pretty much the show (this fucker is an unrepentant nightmare machine), but there's an unexpected scale and thoughtfulness to Kurosawa's story that's more Romero than Shimizu. Unlike RINGU or JU-ON, repeat viewings are anything but a case of diminishing returns.
62. TIME OUT (2001, d. Laurent Cantet, w. Cantet and Robin Campillo)
Laurent Cantet won the 2008 Palme d'Or for THE CLASS, but he turned in his best work seven years earlier with this depressingly relevant tale. From my 2001 AICN review: "Vincent (Aurelien Recoing) is a dedicated white-collar drone, forever on the road, traveling from one crucial business meeting to another, while keeping in touch with his family via cell phone, calling only to inform them that something else has come up, and that he won’t be home as planned. This is all a facade. In reality, Vincent lost his job several months ago, due precisely to this kind of itinerant behavior born out of a disaffection with a crushingly dull and depressingly pointless middle management position. Strangely, though, Vincent, rather than following up on job leads from a former co-worker, relishes his newfound freedom, driving aimlessly through the French countryside, and sleeping in his car rather than returning home, where his unavoidable financial responsibility to his family will surely intrude upon his semi-blissful existence.
There are probably thousands of Vincent’s out there – men and women stuck in that brutal middle-management loop with no sense of escape, and little self-worth. It is Cantet’s greatest triumph that he gives their heretofore satirized predicament a sobering, mournful voice."
61. GRINDHOUSE (2007, w. & d. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I'm probably grading Grindhouse on the experience of watching it at the New Beverly opening night, but this is my list, and I'll curve how I want to. Though I would never hail Planet Terror or Death Proof as masterpieces in their own right (not even Tarantino's extended cut of the latter, which inexplicably spoils Stuntman Mike's exquisite, over-the-shoulder introduction), mashed together with three lovingly crafted faux-trailers (and one disappointing display of onanism), they were pure moviegoing bliss. Did it help that I was knocking back smuggled-in Stone IPA's throughout the three-hour running time? Absolutely. Is that part of the grindhouse experience? Well, the boozing is; the relatively high-end taste for beer... not so much. But Grindhouse qualifies as epicurean trash, so why not wallow extravagantly?"
While I understand why the Weinstein's broke up the party when this thing grossed four dollars during its initial release, now that they've had a couple of years to recoup, it's time to give us us three-hour, unified cut of GRINDHOUSE.
60. THE HOST (2006, d. Bong Joon-ho, w. Bong Joon-ho, Baek Chul-hyun and Ha Won-jun)
A heartwarming family dramedy about a giant sea monster that terrorizes Seoul as payback for a U.S. Army surgeon's careless disposal of formaldehyde.
THE HOST is a fearless melding of genres that never feels like its paying homage to one film in particular; it's also a perturbed critique of America's meddlesome involvement in the country. But it's mostly just an expertly-crafted monster movie from one of the most uniquely gifted filmmakers in the world.
59. TSOTSI (2005, w. & d. Gavin Hood)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: "How to account for a film that initially taps into the lurid exhilaration of City of God only to slam home with the moral authority of To Kill a Mockingbird? Three months after watching the film, I still don’t know much about Gavin Hood, so let’s start with Athol Fugard, the internationally renowned South African playwright on whose only novel the movie is based. The story is very simple: an unfeeling thug (a revelatory performance by Presley Chweneyage) shoots a middle class Johannesburg woman in the midst of a car jacking only to find a mile or two into his getaway that he has inadvertently kidnapped her infant child. While the parents enlist the unenthusiastic authorities to scour the shantytown for their baby, Tsotsi, not enough of a monster to cold bloodedly murder a defenseless newborn, ineptly tries to provide for the child if only to stop it from crying, and, in the process, backs away from the abyss toward which he’s been swaggering most of his life for lack of a better option.
[TSOTSI] is a timeless parable that captivates, enlightens and encourages us to better understand our fellow man no matter how far he’s fallen. And it does this without lecturing, condescending or pitying. Impossible."
And then Hood made RENDITION and WOLVERINE. Good for his bank account; bad for his art. Come back to us, Gavin.
58. HERO (2002, d. Zhang Yimou, w. Zhang, Li Feng and Wang Bin)
Zhang Yimou's high-minded answer to Ang Lee's CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON might have some uncomfortable nationalistic undercurrents, but they've never hindered my enjoyment of this gorgeously-shot film. Ching Siu-Tung's exquisite fight choreography and Christopher Doyle's sumptuous cinematography (abetted by Huo Tingxiao and Yi Zhenzhou's production design) combine to make HERO the most stylish and emotionally fulfilling martial arts picture ever produced.
57. BURN AFTER READING (2008, w & d. Joel and Ethan Coen)
From my 2008 review for AICN: "Joel and Ethan Coen's BURN AFTER READING opens with what appears to be a spy satellite's view of a computer-generated Earth. I think. Perhaps it's a model. Whatever it is, it's laughably fake, which means it's a detail the Coens really want you to notice. That this artificiality is accompanied by a bombastic Carter Burwell cue seemingly swiped from John Landis's SPIES LIKE US only serves to heighten the onrushing sense of parody; and as the camera comes crashing down through the fake clouds toward a fake United States and through the fake roof of a fake building in fake Langley, Virginia to reveal real CIA desk jockeys doing really stupid shit, your only response is to put your guard down and let the Coens enjoy their spirited, if inconsequential, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN victory lap. Visually, they've just told you they're up to nothin' but funnin', right?
It's survival of the pettiest, and it's telling that the only person who achieves their objective is the one most hellbent on their own self-interest. But then the Coens' camera retreats from fake Langley, back through the fake clouds and out into the vast expanses of fake space, and we're reminded that people just don't get away with such things in our universe. It sure is swell to live in a world where justice prevails."
56. OLDBOY (2003, d. Chan-wook Park, w. Park, Jo-yun Hwang, Chun-hyeong Lim and Joon-hyung Lim)
The highlight of Butt-Numb-A-Thon V, this bizarro revenge yarn is Chan-wook Park at his most ferociously inspired. Considering Oh Dae-su's prolonged isolation and subsequent rough re-adjustment to regular society, I've always viewed OLDBOY as something of a metaphor for the still-unresolved North Korea-South Korea predicament. But it's so crazily over-plotted that any kind of thematic significance is secondary to the visceral pleasure of watching Oh Dae-su fuck up nearly everything and everyone in his path. First and foremost, this is an audience picture. Nothing wrong with that - not when it's this skillfully done.
55. MUNICH (2005, d. Steven Spielberg, w. Tony Kushner and Eric Roth)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: Steven Spielberg’s A Brief History of Revenge. Depicting the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre as the starting point of the modern Palestinian terrorism, Spielberg laments the downward spiral of violence even as he allows that the notion of inaction is patently absurd. Embedded in a breathtakingly assured suspense film that’s as masterful as the best paranoid thrillers of the 1970’s is the unsettling idea that civilization’s capitulation to bloodlust effectively destroyed (or, as some might say, exposed as a lie) the global pretense to morality celebrated after the Allied victory in World War II, ending with a coup de cinema in the picture’s final pan down the island of Manhattan. By utilizing the shadowy methods of the dispossessed as a means of squaring the dispute only begets more atrocities on both sides, and Spielberg pays his audience the compliment of being even-handed, which has been misconstrued by obfuscators on the right as “moral relativism”. There is a discussion to be had on the deploying of factually sketchy events to drive the point home, but dramatic license is hardly synonymous with dishonesty."
54. THE PIANIST (d. Roman Polanski, w. Ronald Harwood)
From my Best of 2002 list for AICN: "An unflinching, unsentimental survivor’s tale of the Holocaust that is ultimately more exhausting than profound. What lingers most in memory is Adrian Brody’s haunting central performance as a man with barely enough strength to endure."
I don't know why I was so dismissive of Roman Polanski's film back in '02, but it's now (correctly) regarded as a late-career triumph for the embattled director. THE PIANIST is a harrowing experience that contrasts jarringly with the saintly-survivor view of SCHINDLER'S LIST; talent, luck and compromise are essential, while decency is a potentially fatal luxury.
53. INTO THE WILD (w. & d. Sean Penn)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "Sean Penn always seemed on the verge of being a great filmmaker; it was just a matter of wedding his penchant for emotionally unsettled characters to material that wasn't too downbeat. So leave it to Penn to find the inspirational side to trekking off into the Alaskan wilderness and starving to death. This is, of course, a flippant way of saying that Penn personalized Jon Krakauer's fascinating tome about Christopher McCandless's ill-fated quest for a transformative rite of passage. Whereas Krakauer emphasized the cautionary (while trying to defend McCandless's folly), Penn celebrates the brave, kinda-crazy, off-the-grid romance McCandless indulged as a means of rejecting the prescribed path to professionalism set down by his no-nonsense father. It was a selfish journey to be sure, but Penn portrays it as a sacrifice for all those who would never stray from the expected and venture off into the unknown."
52. MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (2003, d. Peter Weir, w. Weir and John Collee)
From my 2004 DVD Journal review: "It's impossible to imagine [Patrick O'Brian's] books being brought to life by anyone else but Weir, whose ongoing fascination with outsiders entering strange cultures is an ideal fit for the project. Unlike his previous films, however, the characters are all completely at home in their world; it's the audience who's the outsider. When one understands this, that opening, dimly lit tour of the [H.M.S. Surprise], scored to little more than the ambient sound of a working ship at sea, makes perfect sense. It's the moment of enchantment through which Weir works his customary magic, and it lingers undisturbed for a wonderful couple of hours until the closing credits finally breaks the spell. It's as good, as stirring, and as pleasurable as time spent under a reading light with O'Brian's prose."
Tom Rothman, the much-maligned Fox chairman, deserves an enormous amount of credit for getting this (financially unsuccessful) film made. So thank you, Tom, for this immersive, one-of-a-kind cinematic experience. There, I said it.
51. MULHOLLAND DR. (w. & d. David Lynch)
From my 2001 review for AICN: Technically, the film is a marvel. Peter Demming’s cinematography has an absurdly soft glow in daylight, but his most notable achievement is the way he renders darkness as an inescapably malevolent character. No one been this at home in the shadows since Gordon Willis. Meanwhile, Lynch lends this darkness a kind of voice through his sound design; a low, ominous rumble accompanies even the quietest moments, and seems ever on the verge of an abrupt crescendo to a roar. Consider yourself forewarned that Lynch is more than happy to kick the volume up to some frighteningly high-decibel levels (it’s his best use of sound since his perennially underrated TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME).
Yes, MULHOLLAND DRIVE is not for all tastes; it’ll be anathema for hard-core narrative junkies, and will send the faint-of-heart scrambling for the exits within the first ten minutes. For everyone else, it’s classic Lynch – perversely funny and unspeakably terrifying in near equal measures. To be precise, a masterpiece."
Halfway through. Apologies for relying so heavily on my old reviews for this batch, but it's been a very busy week. I'll be hard at work this weekend writing up as many fresh capsules as possible for the final fifty - which will be posted by Wednesday morning at the latest.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
This was Apatow's first film as a director, and it remains his most rewarding: though the youthful ensemble of KNOCKED UP is looser and more comfortable with each other, the cutthroat competition for laughs in THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN results in more inspired riffing. And when Apatow expanded the picture to 133 minutes for the unrated DVD, the additional scenes were all gems. Hell, even the blown takes were terrific (e.g. Gerry Bednob's addled invention of a new sexual position called the "Alligator Fuckhouse"). I guess you're supposed to hate Apatow now that he's established an aesthetic, but, really, would you rather studios return to the '90s glory days of high-concept comedy? Or how about shoehorning all of Apatow's discoveries into formula dross like YOU, ME AND DUPREE or THE UGLY TRUTH? How about a remake of WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S with Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel and Dave Allen as Bernie? No? Then why don't you leave the man alone.
From my 2003 AICN interview with Harvey Pekar: "This is not to say, however, that Pekar’s outlook isn’t unremittingly bleak. The sixty-something writer doesn’t seem any happier now that he’s retired from that soul-snuffing job as a clerk at a Cleveland VA Hospital. To wit: at the end of the movie, Harvey undercuts his acknowledgement of the potential windfall from doing the movie by noting that there’s just a short window of opportunity left open to him after a life of hard work, lamenting that his family life isn’t any less contentious or complicated than it was ten years ago. But if Harvey’s reward is more tsuris, our reward, then, are more comics, which ain’t so bad for either of us."
73. THE FOUNTAIN (w. & d. Darren Aronofsky)
Darren Aronofsky's madly ambitious film about the quest to not die, and to not let anyone we love die, leads with its soul and succeeds because the writer-director never once tries to over-intellectualize the experience. He just wants to break our heart. In trying together three not-too-disparate stories - about a conquistador's search for the tree of life, a cancer researcher's attempts to disappear his wife's brain tumor, and a future dude's intergalactic journey with a dying tree and his deceased wife's ghost - Aronofsky evokes deep sadness as we have our silly hopes crushed once again. Life and love are fleeting, loss is inevitable, and there ain't a damn thing we can do about it.
THE FOUNTAIN is the heartfelt flip-side to the oppressive nihilism of REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. It's also Aronofsky's finest film to date. Sadly, Clint Mansell's lovely score is now being used to sell insipid Hollywood product. If you love this film as much as I do, this cue should wreck you every time you hear it:
72. UNITED 93 (2006, w. & d. Paul Greengrass)
From my 2006 Collider review: “As for unflinching, documentary-style recreations of actual events, United 93 is as relentless as Gillo Pontecorvo’s The Battle of Algiers (though, obviously, much more contained and much, much less political). Greengrass has no intention of sparing the audience any of the ugliness that transpired on the ill-fated flight, particularly in the grisly third act, and his ferociousness will certainly prove too much for more sensitive viewers. As someone who viewed the smoldering Twin Towers from the twenty-sixth floor of the MetLife Building in midtown Manhattan, and, like so many other New Yorkers, glumly went through the motions for a week or two following the attack on our city, I often wondered what the hell I was doing in the theater. Aside from bearing witness to Greengrass’s maturation as a filmmaker (and this is easily his most accomplished work yet), I spent most of the moments prior to the start of the film trying to figure out why I’d bothered.
...[But] that’s why United 93 needs to exist, and why I think it will become an important, widely-seen documenting of the day everything changed for Americans. We need to remember the heroic deeds in the early hours of 9/11, and, for the sake of unity, we don’t necessarily need politics to enter into it. That said, the apolitical nature of Greengrass’s film may wind up rendering it a little quaint once writers and directors grow a bit bolder in tackling the subject. Rossellini’s Open City and Pontecorvo’s The Battle of Algiers still resonate today because they have a contentious point of view; though far from timid, the objective United 93 is ripe to eventually get overshadowed by more opinionated works.”
Even if those works come along in the next decade, UNITED 93 will always be a chilling and boldly unsentimental reminder that that could've been you or me on that plane. Several years after its theatrical release, this film now feels incapable of being overshadowed.
71. THE HOLY GIRL (2004, w. & d. Lucretia Martel)
A vast improvement over her first movie, LA CIENAGA (which felt like a study of human beings struck inactive by extreme humidity), THE HOLY GIRL finds Lucretia Martel figuring it out as she goes along - both as a director and a storyteller. Whereas little seemed to coalesce by the end of LA CIENAGA (thematically or narratively), everything sort of slides into place here, and what at first threatens to be a morality play about a middle-aged doctor's improper contact with a teenage girl (brought on by, what else, a theremin) gradually turns into a mediation on the absence of innocence. At least, that's my take. Martel's film is generously open-ended - even though it's also put together with a deceptive precision. She's a major talent. (And I must shamefully admit that I have yet to see THE HEADLESS WOMAN.)
70. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (2005, d. Ang Lee, w. Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana)
From my Best of 2005 for Collider: "When Ang Lee was told BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, which utilizes young actors to tell a multi-generational tale of societal discovery, could be viewed as “GIANT turned inward”, he smiled and shot back, “Or GIANT turned outward”. Such irreverence may have been unexpected after the heartbreak of his lushly romantic epic, but that puckish comment underscores the wry humanity present in all of Lee’s films. Sure, he tackles weighty topics with occasionally tragic outcomes, but you can’t get to the wounded core of your characters without a touch of levity, which is abundant in Jack and Ennis’s gradual, unexpected courtship at the outset. Working from a fantastic script by Larry McMurty and Diana Ossana, Lee avoids the pitfalls of obviousness at every turn, right up to the pulverizing finale where the emotional understatement of all that’s come before pays off in well-earned tears - at which point BROKEBACK equals the impact of its fifty-year-old progenitor with a far more economical use of screen time. (It’s also important to note that, like George Stevens, Lee is not revising the Western genre; he's seeking to redefine an archetype much bigger than its filmic representation. In other words, comparisons to other Westerns are awfully limiting.)
I had no idea how apt those GIANT comparisons would be three years ago. And even though we got more, quantity-wise, from Ledger, the thought that he exited right at the moment he was coming alive as a performer is anything but comforting.
69. WALL-E (2008, d. Andrew Stanton, w. Stanton and Jim Reardon)
From my 2008 AICN review: Despite the gentle, MODERN TIMES-inspired satire, "true love" is the motor of this story. It's a lovely gesture, and it makes me smile, but there's a part of me that wonders whether we'd be referring to Stanton's film as genuflectingly brilliant if he left WALL-E's memory wiped at the end. Most all-ages classics require some semblance of sacrifice: we assume Elliott will never see E.T. again, whilst another noggin-knockin' trip to Oz would probably leave Dorothy talking like Leon Spinks. But after a few we-know-you're-not-going-there scares, WALL-E gets rebooted and is shipshape once again (like Uhura post-"The Changeling").
On second thought, since I've made a similar argument in defense of Tom Cruise's kid "miraculously" returning at the end of Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS, I'm going to be consistent and say the ending is exactly what it needs to be: WALL-E lays out for "the needs of the many", and he is duly rewarded by not being reduced to a memory-wiped droid. This doesn't mean WALL-E is now "genuflectingly brilliant", but it is top-shelf Pixar - and that's more than good enough to place here.
68. SUPERBAD (d. Greg Mottola, w. Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen)
From my Best of 2007 list from CHUD: "The return of Greg Mottola (director of the underrated and underseen The Daytrippers), the debut of Christopher Mintz-Plasse (the Anthony Michael Hall of his generation if he's unlucky, which I don't think he'll be) and more stellar Apatow. Everyone jokes that there's going to be a backlash at some point (maybe the box office failure of Walk Hard is an indication of this), but why? As long as the company keeps expanding, and the leads keep changing (though Seth Rogen is a bona fide superstar, and could do with a movie a year), what's there to resent besides success? In a way, I think Superbad points the way forward: it's the Apatow aesthetic in the hands of a filmmaker with a completely different skill set. It's also (in its theatrical incarnation) the tightest of the Apatow flicks thus far."
Two years later, it still is. Though the comedy gets pretty broad at times, SUPERBAD effortlessly exudes that universal, wild-night-out feel that made DAZED AND CONFUSED an instant classic. This is largely the doing of Mottola, who followed this up with the ADVENTURELAND, a bittersweet evocation of post-college ennui that deserves a much wider audience. I love both films, but SUPERBAD hits so many highs (Cera enchanting a roomful of cokeheads with his frightened rendition of "These Eyes"; Carla Gallo leaving her mark on Hill's pants; that nervous/giddy moment before Mintz-Plasse empties Hader's service revolver) that it just barely gets the nod.
67. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (2009, d. Spike Jonze, w. Jonze and Dave Eggers)
A film that could very well move up this list as the years pile on.
I haven't gone back since my first viewing, but the final scene - where Keener falls asleep watching a safely-returned Max scarf down his dinner without a care in the world - hits me hard. Though we didn't realize it at the time, we all participated in those moments - where our mothers found solace in us just being happy and young and theirs. And you get the sense that Keener hangs on to consciousness for as long as she can because she knows how fleeting this all is. In a few years time, Max will enter middle-school, and this bond will dissolve. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE strikes many resonant, melancholy chords, but in the end, it just made me miss being a kid for my mom. And that's why it made me sad.
I also think the final shot of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is a complete downer, so if I'm alone in this reading, so be it.
From my 2009 AICN interview with Spike Jonze: "While WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE feels like a deeply personal film for Jonze, its depiction of a bratty kid run amok - and away to an island of moody monsters - is also incredibly inclusive. The specifics of Max's childhood may not resemble yours, but the highs and lows he experiences should be painfully familiar. No film has more perfectly captured what it feels like to be nine years old."
66. THE CONSTANT GARDENER (2005, d. Fernando Meirelles, w. Jeffrey Caine)
Beats the tar out of THE LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL. From my 2005 review for Collider: "It took a filmmaker as prodigiously talented as Fernando Meirelles to finally transfer John le Carré successfully to the screen, though his accomplishment reaches past the angry espionage of the novel to discover a doomed romanticism reminiscent of Anthony Minghella’s The English Patient. Borrowing that film’s lead (the great Ralph Fiennes), Meirelles has skillfully constructed a love story in which affection is not truly requited until both parties are murdered. Rachel Weisz’s Tessa Quayle hastens her death questing justice; Fiennes’s Justin Quayle brings about his by taking on Tessa’s cause after jealously investigating her possible infidelity. Justin’s a horrible sleuth, the meek antithesis of Harry Palmer, but Meirelles and le Carré aren’t after a rousing thriller in that mold. And though the movie brims with righteous indignation, it isn’t a political tract, either. What stays with you is the thought of Tessa and Justin reaching the same terminus alone."
65. LAKE OF FIRE (2007, d. Tony Kaye)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I knew where I came down on the abortion issue before I saw Tony Kaye's Lake of Fire; afterwards... I was a lot less certain. An objective and exhaustive documentary examining both sides of this roiling, often violent debate, Kaye challenges our preconceived notions by juxtaposing the tired, talking-point spiel regurgitated by the rank-and-file with thoughtful analysis from journalists like Nat Hentoff (who skillfully, if not entirely persuasively, argues the inconsistency of being anti-death penalty and pro-choice). But don't mistake this for a talking heads affair; Kaye reminds us, with his brilliant black-and-white cinematography, that he's one of the most visually gifted filmmakers working today. He's also unflinching in his depiction of the actual process of abortion, the aftermath of which will surely be too much for most viewers. Sensationalism aside, Kaye's still made the most thorough and even-handed documentary on this deeply divisive subject."
64. TIME OF THE WOLF (2003, w. & d. Michael Haneke)
This unusually straightforward work from Michael Haneke is about a French family struggling to cope with the end of the world as we know it. Haneke skimps on the catastrophic particulars and instead focuses on the collapse of society - which has been depicted hundreds of times before, but rarely with this level of verisimilitude. Isabelle Huppert is sensational as the mother fighting to protect her children and maintain civility as the strangers they encounter gradually give in to their basest survival instincts. What's surprising here is Haneke's near-acknowledgment that order can be reimposed; inevitably, as long as the planet's not in a sere shambles or a pipin' hot ball of fire (hey there, Alex Proyas!), we will rebuild. This is the one Haneke film that helps you up after it knees you in the nuts.
63. KAIRO (2001, w. & d. Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
Hands down the best J-horror film of the decade - so long as you're counting AUDITION as a 1999 release. Though its "gimmick" of spooky images being captured via webcams feels incredibly quaint nowadays, Kiyoshi Kurosawa's 2001 classic is still an impeccably-crafted, slow-burner of a ghost story. As with most films of this subgenre, the set pieces are pretty much the show (this fucker is an unrepentant nightmare machine), but there's an unexpected scale and thoughtfulness to Kurosawa's story that's more Romero than Shimizu. Unlike RINGU or JU-ON, repeat viewings are anything but a case of diminishing returns.
62. TIME OUT (2001, d. Laurent Cantet, w. Cantet and Robin Campillo)
Laurent Cantet won the 2008 Palme d'Or for THE CLASS, but he turned in his best work seven years earlier with this depressingly relevant tale. From my 2001 AICN review: "Vincent (Aurelien Recoing) is a dedicated white-collar drone, forever on the road, traveling from one crucial business meeting to another, while keeping in touch with his family via cell phone, calling only to inform them that something else has come up, and that he won’t be home as planned. This is all a facade. In reality, Vincent lost his job several months ago, due precisely to this kind of itinerant behavior born out of a disaffection with a crushingly dull and depressingly pointless middle management position. Strangely, though, Vincent, rather than following up on job leads from a former co-worker, relishes his newfound freedom, driving aimlessly through the French countryside, and sleeping in his car rather than returning home, where his unavoidable financial responsibility to his family will surely intrude upon his semi-blissful existence.
There are probably thousands of Vincent’s out there – men and women stuck in that brutal middle-management loop with no sense of escape, and little self-worth. It is Cantet’s greatest triumph that he gives their heretofore satirized predicament a sobering, mournful voice."
61. GRINDHOUSE (2007, w. & d. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I'm probably grading Grindhouse on the experience of watching it at the New Beverly opening night, but this is my list, and I'll curve how I want to. Though I would never hail Planet Terror or Death Proof as masterpieces in their own right (not even Tarantino's extended cut of the latter, which inexplicably spoils Stuntman Mike's exquisite, over-the-shoulder introduction), mashed together with three lovingly crafted faux-trailers (and one disappointing display of onanism), they were pure moviegoing bliss. Did it help that I was knocking back smuggled-in Stone IPA's throughout the three-hour running time? Absolutely. Is that part of the grindhouse experience? Well, the boozing is; the relatively high-end taste for beer... not so much. But Grindhouse qualifies as epicurean trash, so why not wallow extravagantly?"
While I understand why the Weinstein's broke up the party when this thing grossed four dollars during its initial release, now that they've had a couple of years to recoup, it's time to give us us three-hour, unified cut of GRINDHOUSE.
60. THE HOST (2006, d. Bong Joon-ho, w. Bong Joon-ho, Baek Chul-hyun and Ha Won-jun)
A heartwarming family dramedy about a giant sea monster that terrorizes Seoul as payback for a U.S. Army surgeon's careless disposal of formaldehyde.
THE HOST is a fearless melding of genres that never feels like its paying homage to one film in particular; it's also a perturbed critique of America's meddlesome involvement in the country. But it's mostly just an expertly-crafted monster movie from one of the most uniquely gifted filmmakers in the world.
59. TSOTSI (2005, w. & d. Gavin Hood)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: "How to account for a film that initially taps into the lurid exhilaration of City of God only to slam home with the moral authority of To Kill a Mockingbird? Three months after watching the film, I still don’t know much about Gavin Hood, so let’s start with Athol Fugard, the internationally renowned South African playwright on whose only novel the movie is based. The story is very simple: an unfeeling thug (a revelatory performance by Presley Chweneyage) shoots a middle class Johannesburg woman in the midst of a car jacking only to find a mile or two into his getaway that he has inadvertently kidnapped her infant child. While the parents enlist the unenthusiastic authorities to scour the shantytown for their baby, Tsotsi, not enough of a monster to cold bloodedly murder a defenseless newborn, ineptly tries to provide for the child if only to stop it from crying, and, in the process, backs away from the abyss toward which he’s been swaggering most of his life for lack of a better option.
[TSOTSI] is a timeless parable that captivates, enlightens and encourages us to better understand our fellow man no matter how far he’s fallen. And it does this without lecturing, condescending or pitying. Impossible."
And then Hood made RENDITION and WOLVERINE. Good for his bank account; bad for his art. Come back to us, Gavin.
58. HERO (2002, d. Zhang Yimou, w. Zhang, Li Feng and Wang Bin)
Zhang Yimou's high-minded answer to Ang Lee's CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON might have some uncomfortable nationalistic undercurrents, but they've never hindered my enjoyment of this gorgeously-shot film. Ching Siu-Tung's exquisite fight choreography and Christopher Doyle's sumptuous cinematography (abetted by Huo Tingxiao and Yi Zhenzhou's production design) combine to make HERO the most stylish and emotionally fulfilling martial arts picture ever produced.
57. BURN AFTER READING (2008, w & d. Joel and Ethan Coen)
From my 2008 review for AICN: "Joel and Ethan Coen's BURN AFTER READING opens with what appears to be a spy satellite's view of a computer-generated Earth. I think. Perhaps it's a model. Whatever it is, it's laughably fake, which means it's a detail the Coens really want you to notice. That this artificiality is accompanied by a bombastic Carter Burwell cue seemingly swiped from John Landis's SPIES LIKE US only serves to heighten the onrushing sense of parody; and as the camera comes crashing down through the fake clouds toward a fake United States and through the fake roof of a fake building in fake Langley, Virginia to reveal real CIA desk jockeys doing really stupid shit, your only response is to put your guard down and let the Coens enjoy their spirited, if inconsequential, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN victory lap. Visually, they've just told you they're up to nothin' but funnin', right?
It's survival of the pettiest, and it's telling that the only person who achieves their objective is the one most hellbent on their own self-interest. But then the Coens' camera retreats from fake Langley, back through the fake clouds and out into the vast expanses of fake space, and we're reminded that people just don't get away with such things in our universe. It sure is swell to live in a world where justice prevails."
56. OLDBOY (2003, d. Chan-wook Park, w. Park, Jo-yun Hwang, Chun-hyeong Lim and Joon-hyung Lim)
The highlight of Butt-Numb-A-Thon V, this bizarro revenge yarn is Chan-wook Park at his most ferociously inspired. Considering Oh Dae-su's prolonged isolation and subsequent rough re-adjustment to regular society, I've always viewed OLDBOY as something of a metaphor for the still-unresolved North Korea-South Korea predicament. But it's so crazily over-plotted that any kind of thematic significance is secondary to the visceral pleasure of watching Oh Dae-su fuck up nearly everything and everyone in his path. First and foremost, this is an audience picture. Nothing wrong with that - not when it's this skillfully done.
55. MUNICH (2005, d. Steven Spielberg, w. Tony Kushner and Eric Roth)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: Steven Spielberg’s A Brief History of Revenge. Depicting the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre as the starting point of the modern Palestinian terrorism, Spielberg laments the downward spiral of violence even as he allows that the notion of inaction is patently absurd. Embedded in a breathtakingly assured suspense film that’s as masterful as the best paranoid thrillers of the 1970’s is the unsettling idea that civilization’s capitulation to bloodlust effectively destroyed (or, as some might say, exposed as a lie) the global pretense to morality celebrated after the Allied victory in World War II, ending with a coup de cinema in the picture’s final pan down the island of Manhattan. By utilizing the shadowy methods of the dispossessed as a means of squaring the dispute only begets more atrocities on both sides, and Spielberg pays his audience the compliment of being even-handed, which has been misconstrued by obfuscators on the right as “moral relativism”. There is a discussion to be had on the deploying of factually sketchy events to drive the point home, but dramatic license is hardly synonymous with dishonesty."
54. THE PIANIST (d. Roman Polanski, w. Ronald Harwood)
From my Best of 2002 list for AICN: "An unflinching, unsentimental survivor’s tale of the Holocaust that is ultimately more exhausting than profound. What lingers most in memory is Adrian Brody’s haunting central performance as a man with barely enough strength to endure."
I don't know why I was so dismissive of Roman Polanski's film back in '02, but it's now (correctly) regarded as a late-career triumph for the embattled director. THE PIANIST is a harrowing experience that contrasts jarringly with the saintly-survivor view of SCHINDLER'S LIST; talent, luck and compromise are essential, while decency is a potentially fatal luxury.
53. INTO THE WILD (w. & d. Sean Penn)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "Sean Penn always seemed on the verge of being a great filmmaker; it was just a matter of wedding his penchant for emotionally unsettled characters to material that wasn't too downbeat. So leave it to Penn to find the inspirational side to trekking off into the Alaskan wilderness and starving to death. This is, of course, a flippant way of saying that Penn personalized Jon Krakauer's fascinating tome about Christopher McCandless's ill-fated quest for a transformative rite of passage. Whereas Krakauer emphasized the cautionary (while trying to defend McCandless's folly), Penn celebrates the brave, kinda-crazy, off-the-grid romance McCandless indulged as a means of rejecting the prescribed path to professionalism set down by his no-nonsense father. It was a selfish journey to be sure, but Penn portrays it as a sacrifice for all those who would never stray from the expected and venture off into the unknown."
52. MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (2003, d. Peter Weir, w. Weir and John Collee)
From my 2004 DVD Journal review: "It's impossible to imagine [Patrick O'Brian's] books being brought to life by anyone else but Weir, whose ongoing fascination with outsiders entering strange cultures is an ideal fit for the project. Unlike his previous films, however, the characters are all completely at home in their world; it's the audience who's the outsider. When one understands this, that opening, dimly lit tour of the [H.M.S. Surprise], scored to little more than the ambient sound of a working ship at sea, makes perfect sense. It's the moment of enchantment through which Weir works his customary magic, and it lingers undisturbed for a wonderful couple of hours until the closing credits finally breaks the spell. It's as good, as stirring, and as pleasurable as time spent under a reading light with O'Brian's prose."
Tom Rothman, the much-maligned Fox chairman, deserves an enormous amount of credit for getting this (financially unsuccessful) film made. So thank you, Tom, for this immersive, one-of-a-kind cinematic experience. There, I said it.
51. MULHOLLAND DR. (w. & d. David Lynch)
From my 2001 review for AICN: Technically, the film is a marvel. Peter Demming’s cinematography has an absurdly soft glow in daylight, but his most notable achievement is the way he renders darkness as an inescapably malevolent character. No one been this at home in the shadows since Gordon Willis. Meanwhile, Lynch lends this darkness a kind of voice through his sound design; a low, ominous rumble accompanies even the quietest moments, and seems ever on the verge of an abrupt crescendo to a roar. Consider yourself forewarned that Lynch is more than happy to kick the volume up to some frighteningly high-decibel levels (it’s his best use of sound since his perennially underrated TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME).
Yes, MULHOLLAND DRIVE is not for all tastes; it’ll be anathema for hard-core narrative junkies, and will send the faint-of-heart scrambling for the exits within the first ten minutes. For everyone else, it’s classic Lynch – perversely funny and unspeakably terrifying in near equal measures. To be precise, a masterpiece."
Halfway through. Apologies for relying so heavily on my old reviews for this batch, but it's been a very busy week. I'll be hard at work this weekend writing up as many fresh capsules as possible for the final fifty - which will be posted by Wednesday morning at the latest.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
From my 2006 Collider review: “As for unflinching, documentary-style recreations of actual events, United 93 is as relentless as Gillo Pontecorvo’s The Battle of Algiers (though, obviously, much more contained and much, much less political). Greengrass has no intention of sparing the audience any of the ugliness that transpired on the ill-fated flight, particularly in the grisly third act, and his ferociousness will certainly prove too much for more sensitive viewers. As someone who viewed the smoldering Twin Towers from the twenty-sixth floor of the MetLife Building in midtown Manhattan, and, like so many other New Yorkers, glumly went through the motions for a week or two following the attack on our city, I often wondered what the hell I was doing in the theater. Aside from bearing witness to Greengrass’s maturation as a filmmaker (and this is easily his most accomplished work yet), I spent most of the moments prior to the start of the film trying to figure out why I’d bothered.
...[But] that’s why United 93 needs to exist, and why I think it will become an important, widely-seen documenting of the day everything changed for Americans. We need to remember the heroic deeds in the early hours of 9/11, and, for the sake of unity, we don’t necessarily need politics to enter into it. That said, the apolitical nature of Greengrass’s film may wind up rendering it a little quaint once writers and directors grow a bit bolder in tackling the subject. Rossellini’s Open City and Pontecorvo’s The Battle of Algiers still resonate today because they have a contentious point of view; though far from timid, the objective United 93 is ripe to eventually get overshadowed by more opinionated works.”
Even if those works come along in the next decade, UNITED 93 will always be a chilling and boldly unsentimental reminder that that could've been you or me on that plane. Several years after its theatrical release, this film now feels incapable of being overshadowed.
71. THE HOLY GIRL (2004, w. & d. Lucretia Martel)
A vast improvement over her first movie, LA CIENAGA (which felt like a study of human beings struck inactive by extreme humidity), THE HOLY GIRL finds Lucretia Martel figuring it out as she goes along - both as a director and a storyteller. Whereas little seemed to coalesce by the end of LA CIENAGA (thematically or narratively), everything sort of slides into place here, and what at first threatens to be a morality play about a middle-aged doctor's improper contact with a teenage girl (brought on by, what else, a theremin) gradually turns into a mediation on the absence of innocence. At least, that's my take. Martel's film is generously open-ended - even though it's also put together with a deceptive precision. She's a major talent. (And I must shamefully admit that I have yet to see THE HEADLESS WOMAN.)
70. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (2005, d. Ang Lee, w. Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana)
From my Best of 2005 for Collider: "When Ang Lee was told BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, which utilizes young actors to tell a multi-generational tale of societal discovery, could be viewed as “GIANT turned inward”, he smiled and shot back, “Or GIANT turned outward”. Such irreverence may have been unexpected after the heartbreak of his lushly romantic epic, but that puckish comment underscores the wry humanity present in all of Lee’s films. Sure, he tackles weighty topics with occasionally tragic outcomes, but you can’t get to the wounded core of your characters without a touch of levity, which is abundant in Jack and Ennis’s gradual, unexpected courtship at the outset. Working from a fantastic script by Larry McMurty and Diana Ossana, Lee avoids the pitfalls of obviousness at every turn, right up to the pulverizing finale where the emotional understatement of all that’s come before pays off in well-earned tears - at which point BROKEBACK equals the impact of its fifty-year-old progenitor with a far more economical use of screen time. (It’s also important to note that, like George Stevens, Lee is not revising the Western genre; he's seeking to redefine an archetype much bigger than its filmic representation. In other words, comparisons to other Westerns are awfully limiting.)
I had no idea how apt those GIANT comparisons would be three years ago. And even though we got more, quantity-wise, from Ledger, the thought that he exited right at the moment he was coming alive as a performer is anything but comforting.
69. WALL-E (2008, d. Andrew Stanton, w. Stanton and Jim Reardon)
From my 2008 AICN review: Despite the gentle, MODERN TIMES-inspired satire, "true love" is the motor of this story. It's a lovely gesture, and it makes me smile, but there's a part of me that wonders whether we'd be referring to Stanton's film as genuflectingly brilliant if he left WALL-E's memory wiped at the end. Most all-ages classics require some semblance of sacrifice: we assume Elliott will never see E.T. again, whilst another noggin-knockin' trip to Oz would probably leave Dorothy talking like Leon Spinks. But after a few we-know-you're-not-going-there scares, WALL-E gets rebooted and is shipshape once again (like Uhura post-"The Changeling").
On second thought, since I've made a similar argument in defense of Tom Cruise's kid "miraculously" returning at the end of Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS, I'm going to be consistent and say the ending is exactly what it needs to be: WALL-E lays out for "the needs of the many", and he is duly rewarded by not being reduced to a memory-wiped droid. This doesn't mean WALL-E is now "genuflectingly brilliant", but it is top-shelf Pixar - and that's more than good enough to place here.
68. SUPERBAD (d. Greg Mottola, w. Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen)
From my Best of 2007 list from CHUD: "The return of Greg Mottola (director of the underrated and underseen The Daytrippers), the debut of Christopher Mintz-Plasse (the Anthony Michael Hall of his generation if he's unlucky, which I don't think he'll be) and more stellar Apatow. Everyone jokes that there's going to be a backlash at some point (maybe the box office failure of Walk Hard is an indication of this), but why? As long as the company keeps expanding, and the leads keep changing (though Seth Rogen is a bona fide superstar, and could do with a movie a year), what's there to resent besides success? In a way, I think Superbad points the way forward: it's the Apatow aesthetic in the hands of a filmmaker with a completely different skill set. It's also (in its theatrical incarnation) the tightest of the Apatow flicks thus far."
Two years later, it still is. Though the comedy gets pretty broad at times, SUPERBAD effortlessly exudes that universal, wild-night-out feel that made DAZED AND CONFUSED an instant classic. This is largely the doing of Mottola, who followed this up with the ADVENTURELAND, a bittersweet evocation of post-college ennui that deserves a much wider audience. I love both films, but SUPERBAD hits so many highs (Cera enchanting a roomful of cokeheads with his frightened rendition of "These Eyes"; Carla Gallo leaving her mark on Hill's pants; that nervous/giddy moment before Mintz-Plasse empties Hader's service revolver) that it just barely gets the nod.
67. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (2009, d. Spike Jonze, w. Jonze and Dave Eggers)
A film that could very well move up this list as the years pile on.
I haven't gone back since my first viewing, but the final scene - where Keener falls asleep watching a safely-returned Max scarf down his dinner without a care in the world - hits me hard. Though we didn't realize it at the time, we all participated in those moments - where our mothers found solace in us just being happy and young and theirs. And you get the sense that Keener hangs on to consciousness for as long as she can because she knows how fleeting this all is. In a few years time, Max will enter middle-school, and this bond will dissolve. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE strikes many resonant, melancholy chords, but in the end, it just made me miss being a kid for my mom. And that's why it made me sad.
I also think the final shot of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is a complete downer, so if I'm alone in this reading, so be it.
From my 2009 AICN interview with Spike Jonze: "While WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE feels like a deeply personal film for Jonze, its depiction of a bratty kid run amok - and away to an island of moody monsters - is also incredibly inclusive. The specifics of Max's childhood may not resemble yours, but the highs and lows he experiences should be painfully familiar. No film has more perfectly captured what it feels like to be nine years old."
66. THE CONSTANT GARDENER (2005, d. Fernando Meirelles, w. Jeffrey Caine)
Beats the tar out of THE LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL. From my 2005 review for Collider: "It took a filmmaker as prodigiously talented as Fernando Meirelles to finally transfer John le Carré successfully to the screen, though his accomplishment reaches past the angry espionage of the novel to discover a doomed romanticism reminiscent of Anthony Minghella’s The English Patient. Borrowing that film’s lead (the great Ralph Fiennes), Meirelles has skillfully constructed a love story in which affection is not truly requited until both parties are murdered. Rachel Weisz’s Tessa Quayle hastens her death questing justice; Fiennes’s Justin Quayle brings about his by taking on Tessa’s cause after jealously investigating her possible infidelity. Justin’s a horrible sleuth, the meek antithesis of Harry Palmer, but Meirelles and le Carré aren’t after a rousing thriller in that mold. And though the movie brims with righteous indignation, it isn’t a political tract, either. What stays with you is the thought of Tessa and Justin reaching the same terminus alone."
65. LAKE OF FIRE (2007, d. Tony Kaye)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I knew where I came down on the abortion issue before I saw Tony Kaye's Lake of Fire; afterwards... I was a lot less certain. An objective and exhaustive documentary examining both sides of this roiling, often violent debate, Kaye challenges our preconceived notions by juxtaposing the tired, talking-point spiel regurgitated by the rank-and-file with thoughtful analysis from journalists like Nat Hentoff (who skillfully, if not entirely persuasively, argues the inconsistency of being anti-death penalty and pro-choice). But don't mistake this for a talking heads affair; Kaye reminds us, with his brilliant black-and-white cinematography, that he's one of the most visually gifted filmmakers working today. He's also unflinching in his depiction of the actual process of abortion, the aftermath of which will surely be too much for most viewers. Sensationalism aside, Kaye's still made the most thorough and even-handed documentary on this deeply divisive subject."
64. TIME OF THE WOLF (2003, w. & d. Michael Haneke)
This unusually straightforward work from Michael Haneke is about a French family struggling to cope with the end of the world as we know it. Haneke skimps on the catastrophic particulars and instead focuses on the collapse of society - which has been depicted hundreds of times before, but rarely with this level of verisimilitude. Isabelle Huppert is sensational as the mother fighting to protect her children and maintain civility as the strangers they encounter gradually give in to their basest survival instincts. What's surprising here is Haneke's near-acknowledgment that order can be reimposed; inevitably, as long as the planet's not in a sere shambles or a pipin' hot ball of fire (hey there, Alex Proyas!), we will rebuild. This is the one Haneke film that helps you up after it knees you in the nuts.
63. KAIRO (2001, w. & d. Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
Hands down the best J-horror film of the decade - so long as you're counting AUDITION as a 1999 release. Though its "gimmick" of spooky images being captured via webcams feels incredibly quaint nowadays, Kiyoshi Kurosawa's 2001 classic is still an impeccably-crafted, slow-burner of a ghost story. As with most films of this subgenre, the set pieces are pretty much the show (this fucker is an unrepentant nightmare machine), but there's an unexpected scale and thoughtfulness to Kurosawa's story that's more Romero than Shimizu. Unlike RINGU or JU-ON, repeat viewings are anything but a case of diminishing returns.
62. TIME OUT (2001, d. Laurent Cantet, w. Cantet and Robin Campillo)
Laurent Cantet won the 2008 Palme d'Or for THE CLASS, but he turned in his best work seven years earlier with this depressingly relevant tale. From my 2001 AICN review: "Vincent (Aurelien Recoing) is a dedicated white-collar drone, forever on the road, traveling from one crucial business meeting to another, while keeping in touch with his family via cell phone, calling only to inform them that something else has come up, and that he won’t be home as planned. This is all a facade. In reality, Vincent lost his job several months ago, due precisely to this kind of itinerant behavior born out of a disaffection with a crushingly dull and depressingly pointless middle management position. Strangely, though, Vincent, rather than following up on job leads from a former co-worker, relishes his newfound freedom, driving aimlessly through the French countryside, and sleeping in his car rather than returning home, where his unavoidable financial responsibility to his family will surely intrude upon his semi-blissful existence.
There are probably thousands of Vincent’s out there – men and women stuck in that brutal middle-management loop with no sense of escape, and little self-worth. It is Cantet’s greatest triumph that he gives their heretofore satirized predicament a sobering, mournful voice."
61. GRINDHOUSE (2007, w. & d. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I'm probably grading Grindhouse on the experience of watching it at the New Beverly opening night, but this is my list, and I'll curve how I want to. Though I would never hail Planet Terror or Death Proof as masterpieces in their own right (not even Tarantino's extended cut of the latter, which inexplicably spoils Stuntman Mike's exquisite, over-the-shoulder introduction), mashed together with three lovingly crafted faux-trailers (and one disappointing display of onanism), they were pure moviegoing bliss. Did it help that I was knocking back smuggled-in Stone IPA's throughout the three-hour running time? Absolutely. Is that part of the grindhouse experience? Well, the boozing is; the relatively high-end taste for beer... not so much. But Grindhouse qualifies as epicurean trash, so why not wallow extravagantly?"
While I understand why the Weinstein's broke up the party when this thing grossed four dollars during its initial release, now that they've had a couple of years to recoup, it's time to give us us three-hour, unified cut of GRINDHOUSE.
60. THE HOST (2006, d. Bong Joon-ho, w. Bong Joon-ho, Baek Chul-hyun and Ha Won-jun)
A heartwarming family dramedy about a giant sea monster that terrorizes Seoul as payback for a U.S. Army surgeon's careless disposal of formaldehyde.
THE HOST is a fearless melding of genres that never feels like its paying homage to one film in particular; it's also a perturbed critique of America's meddlesome involvement in the country. But it's mostly just an expertly-crafted monster movie from one of the most uniquely gifted filmmakers in the world.
59. TSOTSI (2005, w. & d. Gavin Hood)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: "How to account for a film that initially taps into the lurid exhilaration of City of God only to slam home with the moral authority of To Kill a Mockingbird? Three months after watching the film, I still don’t know much about Gavin Hood, so let’s start with Athol Fugard, the internationally renowned South African playwright on whose only novel the movie is based. The story is very simple: an unfeeling thug (a revelatory performance by Presley Chweneyage) shoots a middle class Johannesburg woman in the midst of a car jacking only to find a mile or two into his getaway that he has inadvertently kidnapped her infant child. While the parents enlist the unenthusiastic authorities to scour the shantytown for their baby, Tsotsi, not enough of a monster to cold bloodedly murder a defenseless newborn, ineptly tries to provide for the child if only to stop it from crying, and, in the process, backs away from the abyss toward which he’s been swaggering most of his life for lack of a better option.
[TSOTSI] is a timeless parable that captivates, enlightens and encourages us to better understand our fellow man no matter how far he’s fallen. And it does this without lecturing, condescending or pitying. Impossible."
And then Hood made RENDITION and WOLVERINE. Good for his bank account; bad for his art. Come back to us, Gavin.
58. HERO (2002, d. Zhang Yimou, w. Zhang, Li Feng and Wang Bin)
Zhang Yimou's high-minded answer to Ang Lee's CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON might have some uncomfortable nationalistic undercurrents, but they've never hindered my enjoyment of this gorgeously-shot film. Ching Siu-Tung's exquisite fight choreography and Christopher Doyle's sumptuous cinematography (abetted by Huo Tingxiao and Yi Zhenzhou's production design) combine to make HERO the most stylish and emotionally fulfilling martial arts picture ever produced.
57. BURN AFTER READING (2008, w & d. Joel and Ethan Coen)
From my 2008 review for AICN: "Joel and Ethan Coen's BURN AFTER READING opens with what appears to be a spy satellite's view of a computer-generated Earth. I think. Perhaps it's a model. Whatever it is, it's laughably fake, which means it's a detail the Coens really want you to notice. That this artificiality is accompanied by a bombastic Carter Burwell cue seemingly swiped from John Landis's SPIES LIKE US only serves to heighten the onrushing sense of parody; and as the camera comes crashing down through the fake clouds toward a fake United States and through the fake roof of a fake building in fake Langley, Virginia to reveal real CIA desk jockeys doing really stupid shit, your only response is to put your guard down and let the Coens enjoy their spirited, if inconsequential, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN victory lap. Visually, they've just told you they're up to nothin' but funnin', right?
It's survival of the pettiest, and it's telling that the only person who achieves their objective is the one most hellbent on their own self-interest. But then the Coens' camera retreats from fake Langley, back through the fake clouds and out into the vast expanses of fake space, and we're reminded that people just don't get away with such things in our universe. It sure is swell to live in a world where justice prevails."
56. OLDBOY (2003, d. Chan-wook Park, w. Park, Jo-yun Hwang, Chun-hyeong Lim and Joon-hyung Lim)
The highlight of Butt-Numb-A-Thon V, this bizarro revenge yarn is Chan-wook Park at his most ferociously inspired. Considering Oh Dae-su's prolonged isolation and subsequent rough re-adjustment to regular society, I've always viewed OLDBOY as something of a metaphor for the still-unresolved North Korea-South Korea predicament. But it's so crazily over-plotted that any kind of thematic significance is secondary to the visceral pleasure of watching Oh Dae-su fuck up nearly everything and everyone in his path. First and foremost, this is an audience picture. Nothing wrong with that - not when it's this skillfully done.
55. MUNICH (2005, d. Steven Spielberg, w. Tony Kushner and Eric Roth)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: Steven Spielberg’s A Brief History of Revenge. Depicting the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre as the starting point of the modern Palestinian terrorism, Spielberg laments the downward spiral of violence even as he allows that the notion of inaction is patently absurd. Embedded in a breathtakingly assured suspense film that’s as masterful as the best paranoid thrillers of the 1970’s is the unsettling idea that civilization’s capitulation to bloodlust effectively destroyed (or, as some might say, exposed as a lie) the global pretense to morality celebrated after the Allied victory in World War II, ending with a coup de cinema in the picture’s final pan down the island of Manhattan. By utilizing the shadowy methods of the dispossessed as a means of squaring the dispute only begets more atrocities on both sides, and Spielberg pays his audience the compliment of being even-handed, which has been misconstrued by obfuscators on the right as “moral relativism”. There is a discussion to be had on the deploying of factually sketchy events to drive the point home, but dramatic license is hardly synonymous with dishonesty."
54. THE PIANIST (d. Roman Polanski, w. Ronald Harwood)
From my Best of 2002 list for AICN: "An unflinching, unsentimental survivor’s tale of the Holocaust that is ultimately more exhausting than profound. What lingers most in memory is Adrian Brody’s haunting central performance as a man with barely enough strength to endure."
I don't know why I was so dismissive of Roman Polanski's film back in '02, but it's now (correctly) regarded as a late-career triumph for the embattled director. THE PIANIST is a harrowing experience that contrasts jarringly with the saintly-survivor view of SCHINDLER'S LIST; talent, luck and compromise are essential, while decency is a potentially fatal luxury.
53. INTO THE WILD (w. & d. Sean Penn)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "Sean Penn always seemed on the verge of being a great filmmaker; it was just a matter of wedding his penchant for emotionally unsettled characters to material that wasn't too downbeat. So leave it to Penn to find the inspirational side to trekking off into the Alaskan wilderness and starving to death. This is, of course, a flippant way of saying that Penn personalized Jon Krakauer's fascinating tome about Christopher McCandless's ill-fated quest for a transformative rite of passage. Whereas Krakauer emphasized the cautionary (while trying to defend McCandless's folly), Penn celebrates the brave, kinda-crazy, off-the-grid romance McCandless indulged as a means of rejecting the prescribed path to professionalism set down by his no-nonsense father. It was a selfish journey to be sure, but Penn portrays it as a sacrifice for all those who would never stray from the expected and venture off into the unknown."
52. MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (2003, d. Peter Weir, w. Weir and John Collee)
From my 2004 DVD Journal review: "It's impossible to imagine [Patrick O'Brian's] books being brought to life by anyone else but Weir, whose ongoing fascination with outsiders entering strange cultures is an ideal fit for the project. Unlike his previous films, however, the characters are all completely at home in their world; it's the audience who's the outsider. When one understands this, that opening, dimly lit tour of the [H.M.S. Surprise], scored to little more than the ambient sound of a working ship at sea, makes perfect sense. It's the moment of enchantment through which Weir works his customary magic, and it lingers undisturbed for a wonderful couple of hours until the closing credits finally breaks the spell. It's as good, as stirring, and as pleasurable as time spent under a reading light with O'Brian's prose."
Tom Rothman, the much-maligned Fox chairman, deserves an enormous amount of credit for getting this (financially unsuccessful) film made. So thank you, Tom, for this immersive, one-of-a-kind cinematic experience. There, I said it.
51. MULHOLLAND DR. (w. & d. David Lynch)
From my 2001 review for AICN: Technically, the film is a marvel. Peter Demming’s cinematography has an absurdly soft glow in daylight, but his most notable achievement is the way he renders darkness as an inescapably malevolent character. No one been this at home in the shadows since Gordon Willis. Meanwhile, Lynch lends this darkness a kind of voice through his sound design; a low, ominous rumble accompanies even the quietest moments, and seems ever on the verge of an abrupt crescendo to a roar. Consider yourself forewarned that Lynch is more than happy to kick the volume up to some frighteningly high-decibel levels (it’s his best use of sound since his perennially underrated TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME).
Yes, MULHOLLAND DRIVE is not for all tastes; it’ll be anathema for hard-core narrative junkies, and will send the faint-of-heart scrambling for the exits within the first ten minutes. For everyone else, it’s classic Lynch – perversely funny and unspeakably terrifying in near equal measures. To be precise, a masterpiece."
Halfway through. Apologies for relying so heavily on my old reviews for this batch, but it's been a very busy week. I'll be hard at work this weekend writing up as many fresh capsules as possible for the final fifty - which will be posted by Wednesday morning at the latest.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
I had no idea how apt those GIANT comparisons would be three years ago. And even though we got more, quantity-wise, from Ledger, the thought that he exited right at the moment he was coming alive as a performer is anything but comforting.
On second thought, since I've made a similar argument in defense of Tom Cruise's kid "miraculously" returning at the end of Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS, I'm going to be consistent and say the ending is exactly what it needs to be: WALL-E lays out for "the needs of the many", and he is duly rewarded by not being reduced to a memory-wiped droid. This doesn't mean WALL-E is now "genuflectingly brilliant", but it is top-shelf Pixar - and that's more than good enough to place here.
Two years later, it still is. Though the comedy gets pretty broad at times, SUPERBAD effortlessly exudes that universal, wild-night-out feel that made DAZED AND CONFUSED an instant classic. This is largely the doing of Mottola, who followed this up with the ADVENTURELAND, a bittersweet evocation of post-college ennui that deserves a much wider audience. I love both films, but SUPERBAD hits so many highs (Cera enchanting a roomful of cokeheads with his frightened rendition of "These Eyes"; Carla Gallo leaving her mark on Hill's pants; that nervous/giddy moment before Mintz-Plasse empties Hader's service revolver) that it just barely gets the nod.
67. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (2009, d. Spike Jonze, w. Jonze and Dave Eggers)
A film that could very well move up this list as the years pile on.
I haven't gone back since my first viewing, but the final scene - where Keener falls asleep watching a safely-returned Max scarf down his dinner without a care in the world - hits me hard. Though we didn't realize it at the time, we all participated in those moments - where our mothers found solace in us just being happy and young and theirs. And you get the sense that Keener hangs on to consciousness for as long as she can because she knows how fleeting this all is. In a few years time, Max will enter middle-school, and this bond will dissolve. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE strikes many resonant, melancholy chords, but in the end, it just made me miss being a kid for my mom. And that's why it made me sad.
I also think the final shot of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is a complete downer, so if I'm alone in this reading, so be it.
From my 2009 AICN interview with Spike Jonze: "While WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE feels like a deeply personal film for Jonze, its depiction of a bratty kid run amok - and away to an island of moody monsters - is also incredibly inclusive. The specifics of Max's childhood may not resemble yours, but the highs and lows he experiences should be painfully familiar. No film has more perfectly captured what it feels like to be nine years old."
66. THE CONSTANT GARDENER (2005, d. Fernando Meirelles, w. Jeffrey Caine)
Beats the tar out of THE LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL. From my 2005 review for Collider: "It took a filmmaker as prodigiously talented as Fernando Meirelles to finally transfer John le Carré successfully to the screen, though his accomplishment reaches past the angry espionage of the novel to discover a doomed romanticism reminiscent of Anthony Minghella’s The English Patient. Borrowing that film’s lead (the great Ralph Fiennes), Meirelles has skillfully constructed a love story in which affection is not truly requited until both parties are murdered. Rachel Weisz’s Tessa Quayle hastens her death questing justice; Fiennes’s Justin Quayle brings about his by taking on Tessa’s cause after jealously investigating her possible infidelity. Justin’s a horrible sleuth, the meek antithesis of Harry Palmer, but Meirelles and le Carré aren’t after a rousing thriller in that mold. And though the movie brims with righteous indignation, it isn’t a political tract, either. What stays with you is the thought of Tessa and Justin reaching the same terminus alone."
65. LAKE OF FIRE (2007, d. Tony Kaye)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I knew where I came down on the abortion issue before I saw Tony Kaye's Lake of Fire; afterwards... I was a lot less certain. An objective and exhaustive documentary examining both sides of this roiling, often violent debate, Kaye challenges our preconceived notions by juxtaposing the tired, talking-point spiel regurgitated by the rank-and-file with thoughtful analysis from journalists like Nat Hentoff (who skillfully, if not entirely persuasively, argues the inconsistency of being anti-death penalty and pro-choice). But don't mistake this for a talking heads affair; Kaye reminds us, with his brilliant black-and-white cinematography, that he's one of the most visually gifted filmmakers working today. He's also unflinching in his depiction of the actual process of abortion, the aftermath of which will surely be too much for most viewers. Sensationalism aside, Kaye's still made the most thorough and even-handed documentary on this deeply divisive subject."
64. TIME OF THE WOLF (2003, w. & d. Michael Haneke)
This unusually straightforward work from Michael Haneke is about a French family struggling to cope with the end of the world as we know it. Haneke skimps on the catastrophic particulars and instead focuses on the collapse of society - which has been depicted hundreds of times before, but rarely with this level of verisimilitude. Isabelle Huppert is sensational as the mother fighting to protect her children and maintain civility as the strangers they encounter gradually give in to their basest survival instincts. What's surprising here is Haneke's near-acknowledgment that order can be reimposed; inevitably, as long as the planet's not in a sere shambles or a pipin' hot ball of fire (hey there, Alex Proyas!), we will rebuild. This is the one Haneke film that helps you up after it knees you in the nuts.
63. KAIRO (2001, w. & d. Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
Hands down the best J-horror film of the decade - so long as you're counting AUDITION as a 1999 release. Though its "gimmick" of spooky images being captured via webcams feels incredibly quaint nowadays, Kiyoshi Kurosawa's 2001 classic is still an impeccably-crafted, slow-burner of a ghost story. As with most films of this subgenre, the set pieces are pretty much the show (this fucker is an unrepentant nightmare machine), but there's an unexpected scale and thoughtfulness to Kurosawa's story that's more Romero than Shimizu. Unlike RINGU or JU-ON, repeat viewings are anything but a case of diminishing returns.
62. TIME OUT (2001, d. Laurent Cantet, w. Cantet and Robin Campillo)
Laurent Cantet won the 2008 Palme d'Or for THE CLASS, but he turned in his best work seven years earlier with this depressingly relevant tale. From my 2001 AICN review: "Vincent (Aurelien Recoing) is a dedicated white-collar drone, forever on the road, traveling from one crucial business meeting to another, while keeping in touch with his family via cell phone, calling only to inform them that something else has come up, and that he won’t be home as planned. This is all a facade. In reality, Vincent lost his job several months ago, due precisely to this kind of itinerant behavior born out of a disaffection with a crushingly dull and depressingly pointless middle management position. Strangely, though, Vincent, rather than following up on job leads from a former co-worker, relishes his newfound freedom, driving aimlessly through the French countryside, and sleeping in his car rather than returning home, where his unavoidable financial responsibility to his family will surely intrude upon his semi-blissful existence.
There are probably thousands of Vincent’s out there – men and women stuck in that brutal middle-management loop with no sense of escape, and little self-worth. It is Cantet’s greatest triumph that he gives their heretofore satirized predicament a sobering, mournful voice."
61. GRINDHOUSE (2007, w. & d. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "I'm probably grading Grindhouse on the experience of watching it at the New Beverly opening night, but this is my list, and I'll curve how I want to. Though I would never hail Planet Terror or Death Proof as masterpieces in their own right (not even Tarantino's extended cut of the latter, which inexplicably spoils Stuntman Mike's exquisite, over-the-shoulder introduction), mashed together with three lovingly crafted faux-trailers (and one disappointing display of onanism), they were pure moviegoing bliss. Did it help that I was knocking back smuggled-in Stone IPA's throughout the three-hour running time? Absolutely. Is that part of the grindhouse experience? Well, the boozing is; the relatively high-end taste for beer... not so much. But Grindhouse qualifies as epicurean trash, so why not wallow extravagantly?"
While I understand why the Weinstein's broke up the party when this thing grossed four dollars during its initial release, now that they've had a couple of years to recoup, it's time to give us us three-hour, unified cut of GRINDHOUSE.
60. THE HOST (2006, d. Bong Joon-ho, w. Bong Joon-ho, Baek Chul-hyun and Ha Won-jun)
A heartwarming family dramedy about a giant sea monster that terrorizes Seoul as payback for a U.S. Army surgeon's careless disposal of formaldehyde.
THE HOST is a fearless melding of genres that never feels like its paying homage to one film in particular; it's also a perturbed critique of America's meddlesome involvement in the country. But it's mostly just an expertly-crafted monster movie from one of the most uniquely gifted filmmakers in the world.
59. TSOTSI (2005, w. & d. Gavin Hood)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: "How to account for a film that initially taps into the lurid exhilaration of City of God only to slam home with the moral authority of To Kill a Mockingbird? Three months after watching the film, I still don’t know much about Gavin Hood, so let’s start with Athol Fugard, the internationally renowned South African playwright on whose only novel the movie is based. The story is very simple: an unfeeling thug (a revelatory performance by Presley Chweneyage) shoots a middle class Johannesburg woman in the midst of a car jacking only to find a mile or two into his getaway that he has inadvertently kidnapped her infant child. While the parents enlist the unenthusiastic authorities to scour the shantytown for their baby, Tsotsi, not enough of a monster to cold bloodedly murder a defenseless newborn, ineptly tries to provide for the child if only to stop it from crying, and, in the process, backs away from the abyss toward which he’s been swaggering most of his life for lack of a better option.
[TSOTSI] is a timeless parable that captivates, enlightens and encourages us to better understand our fellow man no matter how far he’s fallen. And it does this without lecturing, condescending or pitying. Impossible."
And then Hood made RENDITION and WOLVERINE. Good for his bank account; bad for his art. Come back to us, Gavin.
58. HERO (2002, d. Zhang Yimou, w. Zhang, Li Feng and Wang Bin)
Zhang Yimou's high-minded answer to Ang Lee's CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON might have some uncomfortable nationalistic undercurrents, but they've never hindered my enjoyment of this gorgeously-shot film. Ching Siu-Tung's exquisite fight choreography and Christopher Doyle's sumptuous cinematography (abetted by Huo Tingxiao and Yi Zhenzhou's production design) combine to make HERO the most stylish and emotionally fulfilling martial arts picture ever produced.
57. BURN AFTER READING (2008, w & d. Joel and Ethan Coen)
From my 2008 review for AICN: "Joel and Ethan Coen's BURN AFTER READING opens with what appears to be a spy satellite's view of a computer-generated Earth. I think. Perhaps it's a model. Whatever it is, it's laughably fake, which means it's a detail the Coens really want you to notice. That this artificiality is accompanied by a bombastic Carter Burwell cue seemingly swiped from John Landis's SPIES LIKE US only serves to heighten the onrushing sense of parody; and as the camera comes crashing down through the fake clouds toward a fake United States and through the fake roof of a fake building in fake Langley, Virginia to reveal real CIA desk jockeys doing really stupid shit, your only response is to put your guard down and let the Coens enjoy their spirited, if inconsequential, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN victory lap. Visually, they've just told you they're up to nothin' but funnin', right?
It's survival of the pettiest, and it's telling that the only person who achieves their objective is the one most hellbent on their own self-interest. But then the Coens' camera retreats from fake Langley, back through the fake clouds and out into the vast expanses of fake space, and we're reminded that people just don't get away with such things in our universe. It sure is swell to live in a world where justice prevails."
56. OLDBOY (2003, d. Chan-wook Park, w. Park, Jo-yun Hwang, Chun-hyeong Lim and Joon-hyung Lim)
The highlight of Butt-Numb-A-Thon V, this bizarro revenge yarn is Chan-wook Park at his most ferociously inspired. Considering Oh Dae-su's prolonged isolation and subsequent rough re-adjustment to regular society, I've always viewed OLDBOY as something of a metaphor for the still-unresolved North Korea-South Korea predicament. But it's so crazily over-plotted that any kind of thematic significance is secondary to the visceral pleasure of watching Oh Dae-su fuck up nearly everything and everyone in his path. First and foremost, this is an audience picture. Nothing wrong with that - not when it's this skillfully done.
55. MUNICH (2005, d. Steven Spielberg, w. Tony Kushner and Eric Roth)
From my Best of 2005 list for Collider: Steven Spielberg’s A Brief History of Revenge. Depicting the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre as the starting point of the modern Palestinian terrorism, Spielberg laments the downward spiral of violence even as he allows that the notion of inaction is patently absurd. Embedded in a breathtakingly assured suspense film that’s as masterful as the best paranoid thrillers of the 1970’s is the unsettling idea that civilization’s capitulation to bloodlust effectively destroyed (or, as some might say, exposed as a lie) the global pretense to morality celebrated after the Allied victory in World War II, ending with a coup de cinema in the picture’s final pan down the island of Manhattan. By utilizing the shadowy methods of the dispossessed as a means of squaring the dispute only begets more atrocities on both sides, and Spielberg pays his audience the compliment of being even-handed, which has been misconstrued by obfuscators on the right as “moral relativism”. There is a discussion to be had on the deploying of factually sketchy events to drive the point home, but dramatic license is hardly synonymous with dishonesty."
54. THE PIANIST (d. Roman Polanski, w. Ronald Harwood)
From my Best of 2002 list for AICN: "An unflinching, unsentimental survivor’s tale of the Holocaust that is ultimately more exhausting than profound. What lingers most in memory is Adrian Brody’s haunting central performance as a man with barely enough strength to endure."
I don't know why I was so dismissive of Roman Polanski's film back in '02, but it's now (correctly) regarded as a late-career triumph for the embattled director. THE PIANIST is a harrowing experience that contrasts jarringly with the saintly-survivor view of SCHINDLER'S LIST; talent, luck and compromise are essential, while decency is a potentially fatal luxury.
53. INTO THE WILD (w. & d. Sean Penn)
From my Best of 2007 list for CHUD: "Sean Penn always seemed on the verge of being a great filmmaker; it was just a matter of wedding his penchant for emotionally unsettled characters to material that wasn't too downbeat. So leave it to Penn to find the inspirational side to trekking off into the Alaskan wilderness and starving to death. This is, of course, a flippant way of saying that Penn personalized Jon Krakauer's fascinating tome about Christopher McCandless's ill-fated quest for a transformative rite of passage. Whereas Krakauer emphasized the cautionary (while trying to defend McCandless's folly), Penn celebrates the brave, kinda-crazy, off-the-grid romance McCandless indulged as a means of rejecting the prescribed path to professionalism set down by his no-nonsense father. It was a selfish journey to be sure, but Penn portrays it as a sacrifice for all those who would never stray from the expected and venture off into the unknown."
52. MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (2003, d. Peter Weir, w. Weir and John Collee)
From my 2004 DVD Journal review: "It's impossible to imagine [Patrick O'Brian's] books being brought to life by anyone else but Weir, whose ongoing fascination with outsiders entering strange cultures is an ideal fit for the project. Unlike his previous films, however, the characters are all completely at home in their world; it's the audience who's the outsider. When one understands this, that opening, dimly lit tour of the [H.M.S. Surprise], scored to little more than the ambient sound of a working ship at sea, makes perfect sense. It's the moment of enchantment through which Weir works his customary magic, and it lingers undisturbed for a wonderful couple of hours until the closing credits finally breaks the spell. It's as good, as stirring, and as pleasurable as time spent under a reading light with O'Brian's prose."
Tom Rothman, the much-maligned Fox chairman, deserves an enormous amount of credit for getting this (financially unsuccessful) film made. So thank you, Tom, for this immersive, one-of-a-kind cinematic experience. There, I said it.
51. MULHOLLAND DR. (w. & d. David Lynch)
From my 2001 review for AICN: Technically, the film is a marvel. Peter Demming’s cinematography has an absurdly soft glow in daylight, but his most notable achievement is the way he renders darkness as an inescapably malevolent character. No one been this at home in the shadows since Gordon Willis. Meanwhile, Lynch lends this darkness a kind of voice through his sound design; a low, ominous rumble accompanies even the quietest moments, and seems ever on the verge of an abrupt crescendo to a roar. Consider yourself forewarned that Lynch is more than happy to kick the volume up to some frighteningly high-decibel levels (it’s his best use of sound since his perennially underrated TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME).
Yes, MULHOLLAND DRIVE is not for all tastes; it’ll be anathema for hard-core narrative junkies, and will send the faint-of-heart scrambling for the exits within the first ten minutes. For everyone else, it’s classic Lynch – perversely funny and unspeakably terrifying in near equal measures. To be precise, a masterpiece."
Halfway through. Apologies for relying so heavily on my old reviews for this batch, but it's been a very busy week. I'll be hard at work this weekend writing up as many fresh capsules as possible for the final fifty - which will be posted by Wednesday morning at the latest.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
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+ Expand All
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A slew of soon-to-be classics, and great choices all around.
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...and included a few I hadn't heard of and might check out.
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is among the very best movies ever made, not just alone in this decade, but ever. I'd put this one higher, but I love this part II.
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But Hero, The Fountain and The Pianist wouldn't be in my 1000 movies of the decade.
But personal tase is personal taste.
Have a feling there are going to be some glaring ommisions though... -
Brokeback and Oldboy deserve a much higher place on this list.
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better films in the decade than OLDBOY...
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A non-shit dvd of Mulholland Dr.? My copy doesn't even have chapters.
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Time of the Wolf was excellent and I had forgotten about it until seeing it on yr list. killer.
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These lists are WAY more interesting than ANY of the other lists I have seen anywhere else. WELL DONE. Can't wait for the next. On a personal note, I am happy to see here two brilliant films that I've not seen on any other list: Constant Gardener and Master & Commander.
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Looking at my next fifty, I think it's right where it should be. (Just noticed that The A.V. Club has it at fifty.)
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and I'll beat this horse no more - Brokeback Mountain won Best Director yet lost Best Picture to Crash due to its content. Yet, Crash was considered the courageous film because it dealt with racism. It won the Best Picture that year and there were many who instantly knew that the wrong choice had been made.
Ironic? Doesn't matter. Brokeback Mountain was the better story, it had the better cast, it had bravura performances from every member of its cast and it packed a punch like no other movie ever has. It was Keith Ledger's greatest performance. Sublime. There was your Best Actor. Right there. Right in front of you.
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but what more is to come. tdk and no country for old men, obviously. but "into the wild" and "wall-e" are surely top 25 material, dude!
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Brokeback Mountain and Oldboy belong at least in the top 25 films of the decade. The Pianist and Master and Commander deserve top 10 placement. The TB'er lists in the last article were better than this shit.
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The "Mulholland Drive" DVD is that way by design(Lynch's doing, I suspect). Basically it's done to force you to either watch the whole movie straight through, or not at all. Hardly subtle as far as facist techniques goes."Into The Wild" is not a movie I'd put on ANY top(insert #)list of(insert time frame). First of all, it completely removes half the book(the parallel story of Jon Krakauer's own adventure on a remote Alaskan mountain peak). Second, it whitewashes the character of Chris McCandless to the point of sainthood, which bears little resemblance to Krakauer's more even-handed assessment. Third, it has Sean Penn aping Malick's directorial style and trying to fuse together a random collage of images BADLY into a tone poem instead of a coherent movie. A totally wasted effort.
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Definitely belongs on any top100 of the decade list.
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I'm itching to explore his catalog, looking at perhaps "hidden" to pop my cherry...
Thoughts, master Beaks? -
... is a glorious visual feast. The pacing and general flow is a little off though. Needed to be more focused. That child actor was magnificent though, so natural!
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It's not finalized. There are some I'll take out and put in.
28 Days Later
A History of Violence
A Scanner Darkly
Almost Famous
Amelie
American Psycho
Babel
Bad Santa
Batman Begins
Battle Royale
Beer Fest
Billy Elliot
Blow
Boiler Room
Bowling for Columbine/Fahrenheit 911/Sicko/Capitalism (Ok, i'm a liberal, so sue me)
Capote
Casino Royale
Charlie Wilson's War
Che Part 1
Children of Men
Cinderella Man
Clerks II
Closer
Collateral
Constant Gardner, The
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Darjeeling Limited, The
Dark Knight, The
Déjà Vu
Departed, The
Descent, The
Devil's' Rejects, The
District 9
Donnie Darko
Equilibrium
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Finding Nemo
Frequency
Frost/Nixon
Gladiator
Gran Torino
Grindhouse
High Fidelity
Hot Fuzz
I Love You, Man
Incredibles, The
Inglourious Basterds
Inside Man
Insomnia
In The Valley of Elah
Iron Man
Jackass (1&2)
Kill Bill
King of Kong, The
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Last King of Scotland, The
Last Samurai, The
Lord of the Rings
Lord of War
Lost In Translation
Man Who Wasn't There, The
Manchurian Candidate, The
Matador, The
Match Point
Memento
Minority Report
Monsters Inc
No Country for Old Men
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Oldboy
Panic Room
Prestige, The
Ratatouille
Red Dragon
Requiem For A Dream
Rescue Dawn
Royal Tennenbaums, The
Shaun of the Dead
Sin City
Speed Racer
Spider-Man 2
Star Trek
Super Size Me
Super Troopers
Sunshine (The first two thirds, anyway)
Taken
Thank You For Smoking
There Will Be Blood
Traffic
Training Day
Unbreakable
Up
V For Vendetta
Walk The Line
Wall-E
Watchmen, The
Wrestler, The
Xmen 2
Zodiac
Zombieland -
I agree with almost all of those, Master And Commander, and The Fountain should be higher though.
Seeing the first installment inspired me to write up my top 100 of all time, damned hard! -
Kudos for including Training Day...that movie often goes unnoticed. I just watched the trailer for Brooklyn's Finest, with Ethan Hawke as NYPD, also starring Don Cheadle, Wesley Snipes, and Richard Gere, and it looks freakin' amazing. Reminded me of Training Day.
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Nationalistic bullshit made me want to vomit. Awesome, lets all kill ourselves so a bloodthirsty tyrant can kill a few million more people creating a country that never existed in the first place. Fuck yeah.
The Fountain, on the other hand: beautiful. -
O dear, o dear. Howevere, some nice love for th foreign films. Nice to see Tsotsi on there
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woah, a gimungus list. I saw Bad Santa right off the bat. Bad Santa. Just say it, let it roll off your tongue. Bad Santa. The first, best comedy of the 2000s.
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When does that come out? What I hope Beaks is trying to do with his is what I'm trying to do with mine. Mine may not be "perfect" (there are a couple I put up not because they are "the best" but because they are fun and I have good memories of them), but it's impossible for the average joe to see all of the movies, even the good ones, how can you not go with what you had a good time watching? If Beaks is going by that standard, even with the more obscure stuff, then I will respect his list.
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Now there's a movie I enjoyed, maybe more than Donnie Brasco. Blow got a lot of heat from reviewers. "Same old, same old." It was far from that. A totally insane story, with Depp leading the way...
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Check out the trailer...it's pretty good: http://tinyurl.com/ylxvb3v
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...director of Training Day...I just found out...
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Any Wire fans out there notice Omar?? Damn those people need to work more.
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Of course the list is going to get better as it reaches the number #1 spot. Love Master and Commander, would liked to have seen a sequel.
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It's starts great, but as soon as he is out of his prison, it just goes downhill, with one or two short highlights.
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Or are those the two short highlights?
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Yeah, Beaks, we don't agree on much. You've picked good movies, but I think your order is dubious. MULHOLLAND DRIVE is a top 20 film in my book, not a lower-50. These Apatow movies are flavor-of-the-month, and that month has long since passed. HERO is a visually stunning yet emotionally thin experience. MONGOL is a far more impressive film- I don't expect it to be in your top 50, so I'll predict you didn't include it in your overall list. But like I said, we don't agree on much, so it's no surprise.
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Hell, I liked Fearless a lot better than Hero.
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iamnicksaicn, kudos for going to the effort. Dude I agree with about 70% of your list which is roughly 69% more than I agree with Beaks.
Sorry Beaks but your taste is so far removed from mine. Some films in your list ive seen and wouldn't have put them anywhere NEAR a top 100 (40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN - utterly average and instantly forgettable, DEATHPROOF - rather have my toenails ripped out than sit through Jungle fucking Julia again).
Some films I've seen and would've put way higher (MASTER & COMMANDER - superb in every way, WALL E - art and commercial appeal go hand in hand).
Some films I have no interest in ever seeing (LAKE OF FIRE, TIME OUT - dull, dull, depressing, depressing).
I'll see what you got for the top 50, but im starting to lose faith... -
of the decade. It proves that STAR TREK can be dramatically transcendent material, but in this version Kirk is dressed up as a sea cap'n and McCoy and Spock are in full katra-sharing mode. You laugh? Think about it- the dual roles of explorer v. military vessel, the cat-and-mouse match between Kirk- errr Aubrey and the Romulan-French bastards. If I had $200 and Paramount's ear years ago, I would have rebooted STAR TREK for one all-star movie, casting Russell Crowe as an alt/verse James Kirk. His performance in M&C reeks of Shatner's 60s Kirk.
Oh, and this movie is in my top ten of the decade. Beaks shortchanged it bigtime here. -
HERO was the art house darling when it was released- the next CROUCHING TIGER, blah-blah-blah. Beaks is insane. Let the man have his insane list.
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Drag Me To Hell on the list in the first place!
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he's a very West Coast dude- he's into the business in a way that local guys get (maybe I would too if I lived out there). I had a friend who worked in the music industry back here in NY- the kid knew his stuff but once he got entrenched in knowing a lot of people, his taste became "politically correct" in some ways. Anyway, I'm completely talking out of my ass, but I imagine Beaks' perspective is partly informed by his proximity to the industry.
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Oldboy should be much higher, top 10 for me.
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than the #100-76 list...shoot yourselves
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Yackbacker, yeah just wait and watch Beaks rate STAR TREK and TRANSFORMERS higher than MASTER & COMMANDER.
WHAT. A. BAD. FUCKING. JOKE. -
same with Kill Bill 1 or 2?
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Now there's a devoted "Bring It On" fan if I ever saw one.
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...at this stage can only mean that talkbackers will lose their fucking minds by the time the top 25 roll around and it becomes more clear that the truly great movies (like Master & Commander) are left by the wayside.
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And they have resulted in the best TB interaction in a very long time. Everyone is stepping up, making the best possible arguments for their movies. Beaks' list may be greatly flawed on the one hand, but the consequence of his project has been tremendously worthwhile.
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more than Oldboy, though not by much.Actually, it doesn't really matter since you can't go wrong with any of the movies in the Vengeance trilogy. Fucking solid.
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no contest for me, with the exception of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon not a lot of memorable ones there.
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The way the first half of the movie is just one long, feverish, pre-suicidal masturbatory fantasy... amazing.
Plus, Naomi Watts has NEVER looked hotter. -
If it wasn't for LOTR, I would be tipping Harry to vote for that for number 1.
I prefer Oldboy, but agree all brilliant. -
who haven't got a fucking clue about parenthood and recognising your own, I do agree that M&C shoulda been higher. I wonder where Beaks will place Monsters Inc.?
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Most memorable sex scene for me.
Have seen a lot of porn (the wife says too much), but nothing has topped that scene for me. -
And I'm really stoned, and I totally admit I'm missing great swaths of dialogue - but let me get this RIGHT:
Mr. Beaks is going to rate Star Trek over Master and Commander. -
By the way, Beaks, Master and Commander wasn't exactly "unsuccessful" at the box office. It made 94 million in the U.S., number 31 for the year. It made another 118 million worldwide. That's 212 million in theater revenues. And that's not even including DVD and Blu-Ray revenues. It didn't take the box office by storm, but it did make its money back even before leaving the theater. And I'm willing to bet that had Return of the King not come out that year, Master and Commander would have won even more Oscars, and perhaps even a good shot at Best Picture (the competition was Seabiscuit, Mystic River, Lost in Translation, and RotK).
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It's amazing to me that the one movie talkbackers embrace is Master & Commander. You never read anybody hating on it on the boards. It's such a great movie. Peter Weir and Lucky Jack could bring the world together. This is a movie that should be a franchise - let fly!
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I agree YB. In all seriousness, this has been the best bunch of movie bullshitting fun I've had in years! Way to go Beaks.
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With the way Beaks' list is going, yeah, he's probably going to have films like Transformers 1/2, The Matrix 2/3, Star Drek, and Star Wars 2/3 rated higher than M&C. Ok, the only way Beaks can maintain any credibility whatsoever is if NONE of those films are included in Beaks' list. If they are, yeah, I think I'm going to have to put out that hit I mentioned in the previous TB.
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Harsh dude. Especially considering that this list IS much better than the first. Beaks included some real gems here.Jesus I'm hungover. All that booze, up until 3:00 and then awake at 7:00. This day is going to suck.
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Dec 04, 2009 7:48:44 AM CST
Mystic River, Lost in Translation, RoTK and Master Commander
by miyamoto_musashi
sorry Seabiscuit, but one of the better list of nominees for the academy awards this decade
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Dec 04, 2009 7:50:08 AM CST
Mystic River AND Lost In Translation were both up for Best Pic?
by hawaiian organ donor
Dire. So very dire. Master and Commander should have been nominated twice instead.
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Wonder when/if Tarantino, Spielberg , Von Trier, brothers Dardenne and Ki-duk Kim will show up.
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These guys are going to take you to task, like Marines talking to Muslims. Not the film choices, but their order. Get flexible. use popular opinion, alter your list, make it a fluid thing - but not too much.
For instance, Star Trek sucks, and so does The Dark Knight. Off ya go! -
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring made my list. :)
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Dec 04, 2009 7:52:50 AM CST
Crash is the least worthy oscar winner for the decade
by miyamoto_musashi
by a long way, probably slumdog and beautiful mind takings the next place
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I see people saying "you liked (movie) better than (movie)????" So fucking what? It's all a matter of personal choice. I like Revenge Of The Sith more than The Dark Knight. I am more of a SW fanatic than I am a Batman one. That doesn't mean I am saying ROTS is a better made movie, I am just saying I like it better. I am pretty sure we are all entitled to personal choice, so I don't get why everyone is slamming Beaks for his choices, they are his choices, doesn't mean they have to be yours. I like lists like this, it's always interesting to me to see the choices other people make. I may not agree with every choice, but who cares, it's not my list.
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Tsotsi rang too close to home for me and I really had to convince myself to see it. I live near Johannesburg and in my immediate family circle/circle of friends (which isn't large) I know of 6 people who have been carjacked - one of my colleagues was shot dead in cold blood when she didn't open the door fast enough. The film deserved the Oscar and even though I found the subject matter grim and upsetting I was glad that I had seen it. Definitely thought-provoking.
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Old Boy is the cat's meow but Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance is the lion's roar. What a punch to the gut that movie is.
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Yeah, the 2004 and 2008 Oscars had the best line-ups. I put 2004 above, and we probably all remember 2008: No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Atonement, Michael Clayton, and Juno. Juno is no Seabiscuit (that is, June is much better than Seabiscuit), so I think it's safe to say that the 2008 Oscars had the best line-up for Best Picture, with 2004 a close second.
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You go that right about Crash. Although Million Dollar Baby isn't far behind.
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Got a few friends from SA and all have told me horror stories.
Can't imagine it and wonder how the SA govt will handle the big event next year. -
This is MY list. That's what Mr. Beaks said, from the onset.
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Dec 04, 2009 8:08:43 AM CST
Star Hump, think thats the only way to come up with a list
by miyamoto_musashi
Its got to be on movies that moved you, that you remember and really care about after leaving the cinema.
We are criticising something very subjective, so wouldnt think beaks would take any comments to heart.
mind you if Battlefield Earth makes the top 50..... -
rogue, you could say that ROTS was your number 1 film of the entire decade. That'd be your choice.
But by putting it out on a website you are inviting, nay demanding, discussion of that choice. Plus don't we all want to read reviews of people who's 'taste' in films echoes our own? Who's opinions we can trust? That can help inform us of cool films that we will like?
So far Beaks choices do not resonate with me. He's welcome to his choices of course. That doesn't stop him being a chump for believing TRANSFORMERS/TREK are better films than the magnificent MASTER AND COMMANDER.
Or that TALLADEGA NIGHTS and FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN are amongst the very finest movies not just of their year but of the entire decade. Terrible. Terrible taste. -
DammitJanet - I love you.
Sorry to hear about your woes tho. -
where one of my top 5 films of the entire decade will be The Dark Knight. I want to be excited by Christian Bale as Batman. The Dark Knight Detective. The premiere superhero. I want to be one of those guys that smiles when he sees Maggie Gyllenhall in a black dress (used to be Katie Holmes). I want Batman to talk with a raspy voice. I want to be one of those guys who loves The Dark Knight.
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That site is totally fucking lame.
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"Its got to be on movies that moved you"
In all seriousness, yes, it has to be that way. At the end of the day, it's the movies you really love, and the world be damned. Example, I went nuts for Jules & Julia this year. I took my girlfriend to see it, and I had more fun than she did. She's from the UK and they don't have any fucking idea who Julia Childs is!! But it was Meryl Streep, and it was a damn good story (really) and it was Ms. Streep again acting her ass off. Great fucking movie.
I hear you man, I hear ya. -
Audition only played at a single festival in 1999. It was released theatrically in Japan in 2000. At least, according to IMDB anyway.
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Beaks including "40 Year Old Virgin" and "Talladega Nights" is just his way of saying "See? I am not just an elitist snob... I'm in touch with the populists as well".Whatever, Clarence. If he HAD to choose a Will Ferrell/John C.Reilly yukfest, he should've gone for "Step Brothers". Much funnier than I expected, and buoyed by that prince among men Richard Jenkins.Those two choices for comedies taken into effect, "Borat" better Goddamn well be somewhere among the top 50.
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You may be the only other guy on the planet who isn't a fan of The Dark Knight.I watched it again last week to see if I was missing something and I found it to be just as nonsensical the second time around.I need stronger coffee today.I have to give Beaks credit for putting Munich on his list. Good Christ that movie gets raked over the coals by the majority of TBers.
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MASTER & COMMANDER fucking rules!
Now if only they'd make that sequel mentioned earlier this year. The early word was that Peter Weir wouldn't be coming back though, which would be a real shame. Rothman should get to suckin that master-filmmaker's dick or something, as I want me some more MASTER & COMMANDER!!! -
I prefer the Burton version of Batman.
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What a failed and boring experiment.
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But I surely wouldn't have put Wall-E higher on the list than Ratatouille.
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seriously, whats with all the asian films on this section of the list?
Asian films generally suck and i know most fan boys think its "cool" to like asian cinema, but your really not fooling anyone into thining you're smarter then everyone else when you brag about having an import DVD of "Ching- Chang: Chicken Ball Rice Fight Movie" -
Was amused to discover the book lacked any kind of sea battle at all.
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and I agree with Hawaiian, I do think it's quite good. Some have said it fails over the last 1/3 of the movie, but I like it. For me, it did a good job of showing how much what they were doing weighed on their minds/soul.
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So far I think the list is pretty good. Some movies I saw and loved, and others I wanted to see but have forgotten about. However, I did think that abortion movie already bugs me and I haven't even seen it. Hypocrisy of being pro-choice and anti-death penalty? Only if you are stupid enough to believe pro-choice is the same thing as being pro-death, which is absolutely ridiculous. Pro-choice means the government should not dictate what people do with their own bodies, especially when it comes to pregnancy. Personally I am pro-choice but don't think anyone should get an abortion...but I'm smart enough to realize that sometimes in life, shiat happens. However, what is the death penalty if not the government deciding what should happen to the body of someone else? Government wants to decide who lives and who dies, and I am against that. Granted, that is oversimplifying the issue and my position, but I don't want to get too off topic.
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I will not sit here and let you spew your hate for such a fine film as "Ching-Chang: Chicken Ball Rice Fight Movie". It is a breath-taking classic.
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So anyway...Into the Wild always bugged the shit out of me because I thought the kid was a supreme tool. Fucker doing that to his parents...
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"Personally I am pro-choice but don't think anyone should get an abortion" explain.
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Go fuck yourself. Seriously. You racist douchebag.
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some delusional guy who thought he was pivotal in the film industry, it was amusing for a while.
clearly you don't have Media Messiah's endurance -
I thought all he did was spew his schtick about giving Christopher Nolan a handjob while pouring espresso down Michael Bay's gullet.But as everyone else has stated, gargle piss you douche. Asian cinema puts out a ton of crap but for the past decade they have been responsible for 2-3 top ten movies every year.
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Lake of Fire really didn't do anything? Except show me was an actual abortion looks like, and how its done?
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The fact that you label someone as a "racist" for not liking films from a certian country makes you the racistTo me its all film, Ninja assasin is no different from a movie like "Squintin' Chopstick IV: Forgiva-ness Prease""So before you point at someone and yell "racit" i suggest you do it in front of a mirror there buddy
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I've got it at #6. (or #8, if you want to be technical, since I counted all three LotR movies as one film at #2.)
My top 55 or so are set. Haven't decided if I want to go back any further than that or not. Top 25 are below.
25. Donnie Darko (2001)
24. High Fidelity (2000)
23. In the Mood for Love (2000)
22. The 25th Hour (2002)
21. Mulholland Drive (2001)
20. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)
19. The Incredibles (2004)
18. Memento (2001)
17. In the Loop (2009)
16. Traffic (2000)
15. Lost in Translation (2003)
14. Syriana (2005)
13. Children of Men (2006)
12. Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)
11. The Lives of Others (2007)
10. The Dark Knight (2008)
9. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
8. Before Sunset (2004)
7. No Country for Old Men (2007)
6. United 93 (2006)
5. In the Bedroom (2001)
4. The New World (2005)
3. I’m Not There (2007)
2. The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)...and
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
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but in the book, and the movie, there's no getting around the fact that the guy is an inter-galactic asshole. Send a fucking post card to your sister at least. Unbelievable.
Munich is in my top 5 for the decade. That movie knocked me on my ass in the theater. Spielberg at his best, and after all these years, that's saying something. Munich should've won Best Picture that year. Because it was Spielberg (he'd won so many already), the honor was given to someone else. Pity. Merit should win the day. -
I thought that was a pretty great movie. United 93 is a movie that I have no desire to see, no matter how good it seems to be.
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Dec 04, 2009 8:55:40 AM CST
Jett - You Spawn of an Inbred, ass-raped, pus-dripping Macaque
by liberal_warrior
Come over here and swing on my nuts, you motarded piece of twice fukked zebra shit!
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You're dismissing ALL asian cinema, not specific movies, specifically because they're "asian" (not to mention that Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese films are all very tonally different) and doing so in very racist terms like "Ching- Chang: Chicken Ball Rice Fight Movie" and "Squintin' Chopstick IV: Forgiva-ness Prease".
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That wasn't very Liberal of you
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Because he was such a jerk-off, it took away from me loving Into the Wild, though I of course recognize that it was well-made, etc. I just wanted that bear to fucking munch his stupid ass.
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But i have written racist scripts...crash was my finest houryep. i wasjust messing with you guys, i actually am the script writer i appear to be...gotta finish working on 3atman, you guys are gonna love the way it looks, I guarantee it
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Dec 04, 2009 8:59:22 AM CST
I Liberally kick the donkeyshit out of Motareded assholes
by liberal_warrior
Like you Jett, you camel fukken hyena jockey.
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are similarly flawed pieces of heart-felt but over-sentimental cinema. I love both directors and will watch anything they do but I have a hard time, even after repeat viewings, watching movies that have no joy of life in them. There isn't a laugh or smile in a combined 4 hours. I don't care how harsh your life is, there is happiness within their as well, and that is what both movies lack.
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Chicken Ball Rice Fight Movie"
and
"Squintin' Chopstick IV: Forgiva-ness Prease". -
Penn made a noteworthy debut, but the lead,(kid from speed racer)ruined this movie for me. Its only saving grace was Eddie Vedders stunning soundtrack
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I actually quite enjoyed the animated asian film "Chooey-chooey chomp: Animated seizure inducing talking dragon fish"it's just in general i think asian films are overrated
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That's a good looking list. Mirrors a lot of what the AV Club has. It's weird how no one said words of praise about 25th Hour, In the Mood For Love, Letters From Iwo Jima and Before Sunset, but now I see them on a lot of lists.Agree 100% Star Hump. Munich was like being punched in the kidney. I just don't get the hate. I could watch a 10 hour director's cut of it.
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Dec 04, 2009 9:11:03 AM CST
Jett, go whack off on a piece of purple-assed baboon shit
by liberal_warrior
You motarded, racist, wildebeast cum-swoggler
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Don't talk about the AV Club like its something we should care about.
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Hope your head gets better soon.
25TH HOUR to me is a tremendous film, I never understood why people didn't embrace it when it was released. Spike Lee is among a small number of living directors who knows how to shoot a picture in NYC. 25TH HOUR is the most powerful movie to touch on 9/11 for me, especially since the movie doesn't hit you over the head with UNITED 93 heroism. The movie isn't about 9/11, it's about NYC. But Lee was able to visually capture what happened without having characters yammer at length about their feelings. Just a brilliant film, I have it in my top 10 for the decade and I want others to give it some thought too. -
first..sorry to hear about your parents..real shittyi dont think its harsh to say SHOOT YOURSELVES cause basically these lists, including yours (which rocked) are subjective...its not the end all be all...there are many on this site who proclaim that __________ beter be #1 or beaks is a fucking moron!you and i did a list and it was pretty hard..a lot of soul searching to say the least...not to mention what the fuck has happened in the last ten years...so yeah i think people need to lighten up a tad...beaks doesnt need peoples permission to proceed with his list "this is much better, you may continue" is nonsense.also everyone should know that OBVIOUSLY as the list continues, the "choices" will be "better"
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I think abortion isn't the problem, but a symptom of a much bigger social problem. Much like war. I don't think we should be having wars but unfortunately, sometimes it is necessary and the best/only option. Despite what conservatives think/say I don't think anyone WANTS to get an abortion. I'm sure it is a hard and long-thought out decision where the woman truly believes it is her best option...if not her only option. That doesn't even touch on the issue of pregnancy caused by rape, incest or issues where complications of the pregnancy put the woman's life at risk. So I believe women should have the choice to do what is best and right for them. However, I doubt that even those people would say abortion is good. No, I think it is more likely that they would say it is necessary at times. The issue is social. Banning abortions, or making them illegal isn't going to stop them. The only way to stop the need for abortion is to stop all the social problems (for example) that cause unwanted pregnancies in the first place. The REAL question, is how likely is that to ever happen?
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So, I make no apologies for voicing my opinion. I'm not attacking Beaks personally. I accept that he and I view movies differently. Of all the AICN writers, he's the one I agree with the least. Well, I disagree with Harry probably more, but his reviews are works of art unto themselves, that's why I don't even think about it. But saying you disagree with Beaks' choices is legit. He's offering his opinion to us, so we can use the TBs to do the same to him. I don't think he minds at all.
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I bet your mom wishes she had an abortion. Learn how to make paragraph breaks you rambling fuck.
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there is the occasional douche, but mostly its a discussion about film, and seeing the names of a few movies I need to see, one of the better tbs for the year
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I'm not really one of those conspiracy theory nuts but I have to admit I have my doubts about whether or not UNITED 93 went down as depicted in the movie and what is given as the official story. I don't think the alternative theory (that the gov't shot it down) takes away from the truly heroic efforts of the passengers, which can be heard on tape, to break into the cabin and stop the hijacking one way or the other. I'm sure that really happened and they are heroes for it. Nor would I necessarily fault our government for shooting it down if that's what happened. If I was on that plane and I knew we were headed for a highly populated area like D.C. and one of the U.S.'s treasured landmarks like the White House was a target, I would agree with the gov't's decision to take whatever means necessary to take us out because if the U.S. had lost the White House or the U.S. Capitol building (the supposed targets) I think it would've fucked us up as a nation far more than losing the Twin Towers. There's evidence that's come out that just doesn't make sense with the official version. For example, some of the wreckage was found many miles away. How does that happen when a plane slams into the ground? There are other things, too, that this may not necessarily be the correct forum to address, but my point is that I've avoided this film, UNITED 93, because I don't want to take that kind of emotional rollercoaster if maybe, just maybe, I'm willing swallowing propaganda and don't know it. I suppose I could watch it and just take it as a fictional account, but I would be thinking about this the whole time I was watching the movie. Not trying to offend anybody, just sayin'.
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I thought the film was plenty long. The knocked up dialog about munich was awesome though. Spielberg hits those jewish themed flicks out of the park, eh?
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I mean, does anyone honestly believe our govt. could successfully fake 9/11 but not "find" WMD in Iraq? Please, we live in an age of incompetence. But anyway, to your point, I feel similar concerns over Flight 93 being drummed up as something maybe it wasn't actually. I refuse to watch the movie because it is a fictional account (with a lot of guesswork) about something very fucking real. No thanks.
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I'm with you on United 93. I don't even want to think about it again. Unlike you, I watched it (cable). As terrible as it gets. No mas.
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Tell your Dad I say hi
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Chicken Ball Rice Fight Movie
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Its an interesting movie, i'm surprised this site hasn't covered it more
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Just to clarify, I'm not casting doubt on ALL of 9/11, I'm just saying, in particular, I have questions about UNITED 93.
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God, I wish they'd make a sequel to that great film.
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I have a hankering to see Potheads Two! Gotta be more entertaining than Taratino's so-called letter of love to B movies. But I agree with Beaks. Seeing this opening weekend, with the trailers and ads for green/grey colored Mexican food, really helped (could've used some smuggled brew, though).
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And he promised to use lube oil. He also said that the rash you gave Mr. Tinkle the Hamster, is clearing up nicely.
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Thanks for the shout out. Yes, coming up with a list is tough, especially for the decade. And my list was whack. I'm the first to admit I thought a movie like Mr. Vengeance was far superior to Kill Bill (yes, go ahead and laugh) but I put the latter on my list because I can watch it once a month. I mean, a lot of people are probably going to put Old Boy on their list but it's not something you can watch frequently and you most likely need to be in a specific mood. The stuff on my list I can watch every month and regardless of the mood I'm in.With regards to my parents, I appreciate the sentiments. I may be miserable and bitter right now but I'm not blind enough to appreciate that I've had them as long as I have and they both have lived long enough to see their first grandchild.
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and I am not even American, but have lots of American friends who have showed me shots on the pentagon missile, err I mean plane attack
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whassup?oh i love discussion..dont get me wrong thats basically what this site is about...i enjoy a great chat with someone about a film in which we agree about..but also i enjoy one where there is disagreement..but to call someone's list SHIT because a film is on his list is idiotic...we really dont even have the whole picture...i love lists and stuff like this cause it gives me another perspective to a film i might have passed up or even give one another shot.but clearly the people who are shooting this list down are not open to discussion..their view is the ONLY view..end of discussion and you cant have a resonable debate with them.
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Re: the Fountain - it's not three stories, it's one story, part of which is a story-within-the-story. All right, I'll give you two stories max, but it definitely isn't three.Re: Wall E, your idea about sacrifice is bizarre. Memory wiped? How does THAT come to be your ultimate ending? Gee a kids' film with a happy ending, well I guess it can't be a classic like all those full of sacrifice and darkness at the end! Oh and the Wizard of Oz example is even weirder. Head trauma? Is that what Wizard of Oz is about - Dorothy can't go back or else she'll get brain damage? (???)
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Master and Commander et al. They were just scraping the surface with that movie. My Pops loves those books, he's read them all (there are a bunch of 'em) and he even has an Aubrey golossary to help him figure out the old sailing terms. He also went and met the author and got the books signed. These are super-authentic adventure books of the highest order, like Toklien's Rings novel.
This could've been a long-running series of great movies if only the right creatives had pushed it further. Crowe was ideally cast as Aubrey. -
Just saw it last night and laughed my ass off. Funny how it takes a lesbian director to make a great Bromance. Funnier and more insightful about male relationships than anything Judd Apatow or Seth Rogen could ever come up with. Also, dirtier. Not a false note in the movie.
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Whether or not it's entirely accurate is beside the point methinks. Even taken as fiction it's still a riveting story. If it's something you can't stand to watch because you don't wish to relive that day, that's a perfectly cromulent argument. It was not an easy watch, but damn if it wasn't engrossing as hell.I look at it the same way I do The Perfect Storm. Who really knows what happened on that boat, but seeing those guys (loves me some William Fictner) battle the elements had me on the edge of my seat.
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yeah thats pretty much how i made my list...quality and entertainment...can i rewatch a film...i think DANCER IN THE DARK is an extremely powerful film yet i dont think i can bring myself to watch it again. but then JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS is quality and entertaining.as regards to your parents, and it might not mean much coming from me but it seems as one gets older, the more selfless you become..coming from personal experience, seeing a grandchild (or any loved ones) brings people greater happiness than any material item...they will enjoy their remaining time with you and your family.
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When I was 15 I thought it was boring and wrote it off as a failed version of Russell Crowe Foightin Round' The World. I'm older, wiser, and love all his work for the most part. Maybe I can actually appreciate the attention to detail now. Anyone else have feelings about Master and Commander before I add it to my netflix?
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Dec 04, 2009 9:55:57 AM CST
How in the great gazoo did I leave Liberal Warrior off top 20 li
by dirk_the_amoeba
I humbly apologize oh fearsome, but broad-minded fighter!
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I still remember the dead silence in the arthouse theater as a friend and I just about died laughing when George Clooney unveiled his top secret basement project...a rocking-chair-powered fuck machine. It was bad enough that, other than the government spooks, the movie didn't have a single likable character to invest their concern in...NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN this definitely wasn't.
I love when a movie fucks with yuppie heads like that... -
Hamlet 2!
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battle the elements and THE DEATH TRUMPET!!!!!!!!!!
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...I could see what he is doin wit the list but WTF?!?! 40YOV behind Superbad? only truly funny part of Superbad is when fat boy says his back is on his cock or somethin...
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Greaat soundtrack, Great cinematography. but I was not sold on McCandless. and i didnt really care about him much.
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There was like only 1/2 a funny scene in that whole mess.
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the frat boy culture will get it when they start showing it ad naseum on comedy central...lebowski came on the heels of FARGO...just as BURN was with NO COUNTRY WITH OLD MEN...lets enjoy it before it becomes oversaturated.
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Kubrick could have made Master & Commander. That's all you need to know.
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I felt the same way when I first watched it - I was much too young and didn't know any of the stories it draws from (Moby Dick, The Ancient Mariner, ...). It's actually a quite philosophical film once you start thinking of the pursuing ship as a metaphor. And it's fuckin beautifully directed!
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The only thing that bugs me about the Pentagon attack is that the Pentagon has to be one of the most secure buildings in the world with tons of camera surveillance everywhere. How the fuck is there just that tiny bit of footage from one angle? At the very least I think there is unreleased footage the Pentagon is holding.
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Save for the head shot, its all just a big lead up to a singular joke. I think Cloondawg was a bad choice for the lead, his performence made it seem like he really had no idea what was going on.
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That was the point. Every single person in the film was a self-absorbed moron.
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is extraordinarily beautiful. Should have been in the top ten, maybe even the top five. Peter Weir is the dogs bollocks!
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yeah I know I got that, it just didn't find it funny.
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fuck
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Just start again and take your time with the story. Pause if you want to. Also, put on the English subtitles. It makes a world of difference. Finally, get your sound system as high as it can go - this is a BIG movie, filled with ship to ship combat, cannon fire, roaring seas and the cries of dying men. One of the all-time great adventure movies.
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The american governmet orchrastrated it in a failed attempt to create sympathy for a middle east invasion and elimination of the alquidas (whom the american government was supporting, but Osama had gained confidential information about secret money transfers and was trying to blackmail several people within the white house). The plan however failed when certian high ranking officials got cold feet and backed out post 911 causing the iraqi war to be a complete mess. Had everything gone as planned the UN would have blasted all taliban off of the map, eliminating america's Blackmail problem with osama as well as any trace of cooperation with him and his agency
Alot of money..and i mean alot of money was transferred mere seconds before the entire country was thrown into turmoil. the money was transferred from private investors and sent to a secret subdivision branch of NASA that is currently working on Project "Agustus" which is an operation that the government has been working on since 1961 which involves a mining colony on the dark side of the moon that digs for valuable resources as well as doubling as a missle defense station during the tail end of the cold war. The government had initially intended to continue the apollo moon flights (which were actually scouting and transport missions just as much as they were exploration missions)however the sheer cost of maintain both was too much, so the "public" space program was scraped and all monies were transfers directly into project augustus. however, osama was made privy to several documents in the mid 90's and by early 2001 he had demanded access to all secret files or he would go public, A secret meeting was held in june of 2001 involving many officlias including Geroge W Bush and the 911 plan (originally codenamed Operation Talon) was put into place. September 11th was chosen because it's omnious relation to "9-1-1". several dead bodies of middle eatern men were purchased from an afghani morgue, loaded into the plane's Cargo bays under false documentation and a computer virus was implemented to drive the plans into the WTC, united 93 was not in the orginal plan however an investor whom was skeptical of the operation and had voiced to other memebrs his wish to back out was a passenger, at the 11th hour it was decided to shoot that plane down to eliminate any potential loose threads -
Dec 04, 2009 10:15:07 AM CST
In retrospect, I probably should have put M&C on my list
by hawaiian organ donor
All this talk has reminded me what a truly brilliant movie it is.And so glad to see some Burn After Reading love. I thought the movie was hysterical.
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Dec 04, 2009 10:16:00 AM CST
I hated Francis MacDormand's performance in BURN AFTER READING
by zombieheathledger
I thought she was trying wayyy too hard to force the comedy. Mug, mug, mug, exaggerated facial expressions. She didn't let you come to her character but was forcefeeding you, "Hey, look at me, I'm being zany!!" Brad Pitt reading the found disk on the computer for the first time is comedy gold. "Dates...and shit...names...and ahit..." Hilario.
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While I enjoyed it I sincerely doubt that it will ever achieve the cult status that Lebowksi has rightfully earned.
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Dec 04, 2009 10:17:25 AM CST
fuck me...I echo Six Demon's sentiments on ya Hawaiian
by just pillow talk
Stay strong my friend. Clearly you've been put through the ringer, and yet you've still come on these boards posting funny, insightful stuff, whereas I would be a fucking wreck. And, for what it's worth, I really appreciate all the Asian cinema you opened my eyes to. You are a class act, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
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no doubt abput that.
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The american governmet orchrastrated it in a failed attempt to create sympathy for a middle east invasion and elimination of the alquidas (whom the american government was supporting, but Osama had gained confidential information about secret money transfers and was trying to blackmail several people within the white house). The plan however failed when certian high ranking officials got cold feet and backed out post 911 causing the iraqi war to be a complete mess. Had everything gone as planned the UN would have blasted all taliban off of the map, eliminating america's Blackmail problem with osama as well as any trace of cooperation with him and his agency
Alot of money..and i mean alot of money was transferred mere seconds before the entire country was thrown into turmoil. the money was transferred from private investors and sent to a secret subdivision branch of NASA that is currently working on Project "Agustus" which is an operation that the government has been working on since 1961 which involves a mining colony on the dark side of the moon that digs for valuable resources as well as doubling as a missle defense station during the tail end of the cold war. The government had initially intended to continue the apollo moon flights (which were actually scouting and transport missions just as much as they were exploration missions)however the sheer cost of maintain both was too much, so the "public" space program was scraped and all monies were transfers directly into project augustus. however, osama was made privy to several documents in the mid 90's and by early 2001 he had demanded access to all secret files or he would go public, A secret meeting was held in june of 2001 involving many officlias including Geroge W Bush and the 911 plan (originally codenamed Operation Talon) was put into place. September 11th was chosen because it's omnious relation to "9-1-1". several dead bodies of middle eatern men were purchased from an afghani morgue, loaded into the plane's Cargo bays under false documentation and a computer virus was implemented to drive the plans into the WTC, united 93 was not in the orginal plan however an investor whom was skeptical of the operation and had voiced to other memebrs his wish to back out was a passenger, at the 11th hour it was decided to shoot that plane down to eliminate any potential loose threads -
are you writing it with Spielberg or Nolan
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Don't do it. Beaks made a great part II of his 2000s movie list.
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You and Dick Cheney and the Project for American Superiority.
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...holy shit, come on. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN and MASTER AND COMMANDER deserve to be ranked MUCH higher.And thanks to that picture of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, I now have morning wood. So, I've got that going for me...
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... is how it's making me anticipate the top 50. Like it's great to see Grindhouse here, but that means if I don't see Inglorious Basterds above it, I'll go bananas. But props for Master and Commander, a movie that just should have found a much, much bigger audience... One of Russell's best.
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and American Splendor kick ass. Good picks there.
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Master and Commander and Brokeback Mountain might maybe should be adjusted. Just sayin'
"This is my list." - Mr. Beaks.
But what about the children? -
If you go into the Pedalback, let them know I'm not avoiding them. I am working at home and my Internet connection is sucking shit lately. It can't handle the massiveness of the Pedalback (I wish some girl would say that to me).
I've complained to Time-Warner, and I'm sure they are getting right on it. -
So do we drop the other TB now?
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He is President of Time-Warner after all.
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Before it never really stuck with me afterwards, like Battle for Algiers or Z did, which are sure signs of greatness. I think United 93 was trying to hard to look and seem real but failed in truly feeling reel.
And surest sign that there was no 9/11 conspiracy: I think someone would have planned for Bush to make a more dramatic reaction then just sitting there for 10 minutes listening to a story about a goat if it wad pre-planned. -
Yeah, I am swiping that phrase! 'Lop - maybe you should tell TW to swing on your nuts!
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I agree with that. Saw a free screening back in college and was blown away when his name wasn't announced come Oscar season.
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I agree with that. Saw a free screening back in college and was blown away when his name wasn't announced come Oscar season.
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I don't want to distract JettL from his day job of feeding stories to young impressionable actors who might actual buy his BS about working on big movies.
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"Death is the Road to Awe", its the track that plays during the climax of the film (and also the one that now gets used during movie trailers like I Am Legend). I usually listen to it when I run. Toward the end of the track, everything goes silent for a moment... then BOOM, the music just explodes in a cacophony of strings and guitars and a chorus singing their heart out, music that accompanies the image of Jackman flying into Xibalba. Its quite epic and emotional. Jaka you wanted to talk Fountain in the last TB, didn't you?
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Totally agreed on his performance in American Splendor. Hope Davis, too. They were both stupendous. Has that guy EVER won an Oscar?
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Crowe's best acting role, I usually find him annoying but in M&C he absolutely knocked it out of the park.
One of the best films of all time! SHould have won a shitload of oscars! -
That movie probably belongs in the top 25 (to say the least). That film is a masterpiece (even if the director was a child molester).
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it needed more karate, dinosaurs, and lesbians.
Kiddin'. It was a good flick. -
Dec 04, 2009 11:00:27 AM CST
Geez, maybe I shouldn't have walked out of The Fountain...
by harrycalder
...I just did not get into it at all. Yes, gorgeous, but totally uninvolving... This talk about the score has me curious again.
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I didn't see M & C with Crowe, but if you think that's his best role and weren't impressed with either Gladiator or Beautiful Mind, then I'd better check it out, because I thought he was great in those.Speaking of Beautiful Mind, I hereby throw props out to Ed Harris for Pollack. I even liked him in Radio and Natl Treasure.
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if I bothered to put a list together.
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Dec 04, 2009 11:03:28 AM CST
Anyone else think that Malkovitch looks like a tranny?
by dirk_the_amoeba
Or maybe Frances McDormand?
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Well, characters like Horatio Hornblower & Jack Aubrey were models for Kirk in some ways too- but I really got the feeling Crowe watched "Balance of Terror" and keyed off of Shatner's early Kirk (not the fat, mumbling mess that showed up in the Starfleet Academy video games, remember those? For shame!).
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Dec 04, 2009 11:04:29 AM CST
Wall-E *is* brilliant when you look at it from a scifi perspecti
by dvader
All the science fiction tropes you find in stories about revolution and rebellion in the face of a totalitarian regime are all there. But I digress; this will probably start yet another debate on the subject, and I don't know if we need to go into it again.
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You're referring to Burn After Reading, correct? I think he was supposed to look kinda wimpy in that movie.
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But he still looks like a bald Frances McDormand.
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Dirk, you hit the nail on the head. Malkovish is a non-gender specific. That's why I couldn't buy that he was friends with Charlie Sheen in that Kaufman movie. Fuck, it all makes sense now.
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I can't wait to see who uses The Moon score first.
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Along with some other Professionals' list:
http://tinyurl.com/aibntop10 -
Everyone knows McDormand was good in Fargo, but she's also good in Laurel Canyon, playing a booze and drug-addled record producer. Christian Bale plays her son, who comes to visit with his hot wife, Kate Beckinsale
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Master and Commander is just a great freaking movie.Paul Giamatti should have won an Oscar by now. I enjoyed Duplicity but it was mainly due to him. I'd watch a movie where he read the Sunday paper.
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40YOV, Fountain, Constant Gardener, Totsi, American Splendor. M&C:TFSOTW. All inspired great choices. But fuck all this Asian shit. Fuck it up its stupid ass. Wook fucking sucks balls. And The Host is the most overrated piece of shit ever to emerge from the continent.
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Overly long, psychotic, unfunny piece of shit.
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Thanks for that link ;)
Nice to see the love there for Sunshine, KissKiss Bang Bang, and even Jackson's King Kong. -
Hvae a lookie at Empire of the Sun
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Do you like Huey Lewis?
Because Bale does, and so does Giamatti, who was great in Duets with Huey. The movie itself was just okay, but Giamatti was great as a disgruntled middle-ager who lashes out with karaoke of all things. -
Bah I say to that!
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hobocode re Superbad.
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But we just put up best of the decade list for some of the TBers here. It's a great list. Lots of M&C and City of God love.
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Empire of the Sun rocks for any number of reasons, Malkie is one of them
What was it, a hershey bar he gave Bale at the end of that movie? -
Yeppers, Malky is Tranny-ish. One of the Coens probably thought he was casting his wife Franny, but got the tranny instead. Then he had to furiously write-in another character to keep peace and to make sure he kept getting a piece, in the house.
Franny was great in those movies, but are you so sure it was not Malky who played those characters? An Amoeba wonders. -
Yeah man awesome lists! Glad to see someone loves Battle Royale.
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the evidence is far to hard to ignore
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I think so. Empire of the Sun? How's that kimono treatin' ya, Malkie?
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I have watched THE FOUNTAIN several times on HBO......and I have always left upset at myself for giving it another chance. The film has wonderful acting...beautiful camera work...a great score...and an interesting concept. Unfortunately, the editing of that film is a great big FAIL. I just can't help but think about "failed potential" when I think of that film.
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And when they do the sequel, they need Weir and Crowe back at the forefront.
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BC its NOT SUPPOSED to have chapters. Lynch does not want pple to be able to go back and forth through the movie at will. He thinks it was meant to be watched start to finish, not in any other order, so he ensured that the DVD was lacking chapter breaks.
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OK, so you don't like The Host. No biggie. But to slander Asian cinema with a blanket approach is silly. I admit, I'm biased. I love it and do my best to enlighten other people, but I realize they put out as many stinkers as we do over here. Still, there's a lot of brilliance being produced over there my friend.
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I searched for "Chapter" in this TB, came up with nothing, and assumed no one addressed TheFear's Mulholland Drive DVD issue.
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...I tried to let myself ignore it for years, but it may be one of the most irritating things I've ever seen. I feel that it completely negates the emotional journey the film of the film. I think it's a major misstep, and it makes me question whether or not Kaufman and Gondry are as insightful as they seem. I prefer to pretend it ends a few seconds earlier.
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...although I prefer "Tree of Life" to "Together We Will Live Forever" for pure bombastic melancholy. The music alone puts The Fountain in top 10 of the decade for me, and the rest of the film sets it in top 10 of all time. A doomed romantic's heart and a philosopher's brain all wrapped up in a gorgeously shot package... Beaks, you're nuts for ranking it lower than the overrated The Host. Grindhouse, on the other hand, would never make it on any list of mine aside from "Top Instances of Filmmakers' Fetishistic, Myopic Over-Indulgence."
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Then who is Spock? Great idea by the way.
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Sorry to hear that about The Fountain... but I should give it at least one full sit-through at some point. Bravo to you for trying more than once...
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Great film, and underrated (much like SPEED RACER was). Masterful use of music.
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Whoa, as much as I didn't like The Fountain, it's got 500% more integrity and artistic aspirations than Speed Racer... Yikes...
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One of the best in recent memory.
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Spock is obviously the violin dude. Jennifer Connelly's fuck buddy whatever his name it.
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Hmph--must be in Beaks' top 50.
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I was going to comment on your list, but my damn server can't handle AIBN now either. Fuck you Time-Warner (and your President & CEO JettL).
I have yet to see District 9 & Series 7. You just gave me two more reasons to check them out. -
Apparently AMC has made it official (along with Regal) that no outside snacks are permitted in theatres. Has this been discussed? Does anyone other than myself plan on continuing to smuggle outside stuff in?
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Stephen Maturin, the ship's doctor. The scene that cements it in my mind is when Aubrey and Maturin have their big spat in his private quarters after they lose a deck hand pursuing the Archeron. Maturin admonishes "Lucky" Jack, telling him "you're not accustomed to defeat." This reminded me of McCoy telling Kirk in TMP "You're pushing it. Let these people do their jobs." And when Maturin gets shot, Aubrey stops everything to save his friend, a la Kirk stealing the Enterprise to save Spock in TSFS. I fucking love M&C- as much as I love the very best of TREK.
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as it was originally cast.
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Just echoing a Series7 sentiment from up above. But I still read it.
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Apparently AMC has made it official (along with Regal) that no outside snacks are permitted in theatres. Has this been discussed? Does anyone other than myself plan on continuing to smuggle outside stuff in?
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What the hell?
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That movie needed to bring those two actresses and those two characters together in the third act in some way. Whether it was an expansion of Julie's borderline creepy obsession with Julia Child or real physical contact, I was left feeling very cheated by the bento box style segmentation of the two stories. Imagine if a writer/director with some guts had just thrown the story into a parallel universe where Julie and Julia square off against each other with fists rasied in a mad race to finish the perfect beef bourguignon. The mind reels.
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I really enjoyed this movie and I've been meaning to watch it again to see if it holds up to the thrill of that first viewing. It was quite devastating.
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Battle Royale.
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Yeah I do to, its a good way to kill time. And at least their interviews and my year of flops are interesting. I think its mainly their talkback are so bad. I can't even read them, and I am amazed at the amount of comments their shit gets. Also their reviews consist of some fag trying to sound like he's some intellegent prick.
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Dec 04, 2009 11:47:27 AM CST
I've completely forgotten The Constant Gardener
by hawaiian organ donor
Not to say it wasn't memorable, I just remember nothing about it. It's one of those movies that may very well be great but many people will only see once in their lifetime.
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Fair enough. I may have overreacted. Obviously Asian cinema has its gems. I jus thappen to hate all of Beaks' choices. I DESPISE Oldboy with every fiber of my being. I also hate The Host. Hero is just plain borderline fascist. but of course there are great moments in Asian cinema. CT, HD, Infernal Affairs, Kung Fu Hustle, CJ7. Those would have been better choices IMO.
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Well I hope you do, I think I have to watch like 6 movies on your list. Man I've never heard anything but bad stuff about Time Warner.
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It makes for a really fucking crazy movie in my head.
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Thanks, SixDemonBag, for reminding me of that. It's amazing when you find something good in the films that you would least expect to. I recommend that film, and nobody believes me.
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The Good, The Bad and The Weird. Hunt that movie down.
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Dec 04, 2009 11:57:19 AM CST
DVader - what happened to your period?
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Are you on the pill?
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Infernal Affairs and Kung Fu Hustle? Now you're talking! KFH isn't my all time favorite Asian movie but it's probably the one I had the most fun watching.
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SPEED RACER was a tribute to artistic integrity. There wasn't a compromise made in that whole movie. It would have been more successful if they HAD compromised their vision.
I'd definitely put it in the top 50 of the decade. -
Sookie and Daniel Plainview, anyone?
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Dudes, I unabashedly adore Nathan Rabin. Read his series My Year of Flops. His look at Roberto Begnini's Pinnochio is a masterwork.
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TGTBTW is a rollicking time. It didn't make my list but I'm sort of surprised it hasn't made someone else's. Between that, 3:10 to Yuma and The Proposition it was a powerhouse of Western movies for a few years.
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Technically not a Jackie Chan movie until the huge end fight scene, but one of the funniest movies I ever done saw.
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Obviously fans of a genre are going to be bias towards it. A horror fan is going to have probably a lot of horror films on his best of list, many of them probably movies you think are crap.
Beaks is obviously a fan of Asian films, just I'm a fan of aggressive lesbo strap on porn (I love the ones where the room mate forgets rent and has to be punished; favorite scenario). -
...and Warner Bros. and the Wachowskis really were making a statement that I just missed. Call me blind, but all I saw was an overproduced, visually confusing, spirit-sapped stab at moneymaking. And nothing more. But maybe I'm wrong...
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the follow-up to Constant Gardner will be titled "The Irregular Defecator"
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Dec 04, 2009 12:03:29 PM CST
NOT CRAZY ABOUT KOREAN CINEMA. PARTIAL TO CHINESE MYSELF.
by bringingsexyback
Yeah, I can tell the difference, unlike Jettl over there.
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I love the way it plays with power/status levels. Just when you think you've seen the top, somebody else with more status/power comes along.
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So did the sequel, even if it got a bit too wacky (soccer ball kick...) Asian filmmakers just really go balls to the wall sometimes and that's awesome.
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Ah yes, if you forget the rent, you bad girl, you WILL be peed on
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We've been smugglers all my life.
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Ah yes, if you forget the rent, you bad girl, you WILL be peed on
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Cripes I can't catch up. Content overload.
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Yes, but I guess just this week they issued press stating that "It's official, and we really really mean it this time."
Hell yes I've always snuck in munchies. I'll usually buy an overpriced soda, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. Last I checked, the local cinema sells large popcorn for 7.50 USD. That's AMC, and that's 7.50 for popcorn they don't pop onsite--it's shipped already popped in large bags. I know they make their money on concessions, not the movies, but c'mon it's one thing to be a little pricey and another thing to be totally fucking unreasonable. With prices like that, you're ASKING people to bring their own shit. -
Gotta say Shaolin Soccer was pretty damned silly if you ask me.
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The load time is starting to get to me, too as we near 10,000 yet again.
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I heard it was called "Melee Deluxe"
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My local AMC megaplex was always cool with Starbucks, Pinkberry, whatever. And yeah, then in the last month or so, they've become snack Nazis... Again, I'll pay $5.50 for a small popcorn... IF YOU KNOCK OFF WITH THE FUCKING COMMERCIALS BEFORE THE TRAILERS, YOU BASTARDS!!!
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My period name, D.Vader, got blocked by some fucko here at AICN. Mysteriously enough, it happened RIGHT after I criticized both Capone and Harry for their shitty, shitty "A Christmas Carol" reviews. Look up both their reviews to see the truth I'm dishing- they are both terrible. And, D.Vader was never blocked, so you can read my comments underneath. Were those bannable/blockable remarks? No, of course not. So they whole thing could just be coincidence, but I think someone got their feelings hurt. Either that or this site just went out of whack. Either way, I asked Quint for help and he initially said he would but he's ignored me the past month. So I made the new name.
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Now there's a fucking good Asian film.
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Hah, I'm just playin'.
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and video gaming as well.
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...there's plenty of 9/11 references... If you liked the first, I'd recommend the second for sure.
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We used to have Eastern Federal and Carmike theaters... now they're all AMC or Regal. Fucking bastards, imposing their rules on all the indie chains around here.
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Wow, I love coffee--if I could bring a Dunkin' Donut large into a theater I'd be a happy fucking duckAnd yeah, enough with the commercials. That's why people chose to go to the show instead of watching TV--they want entertainment without being sold more crap
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The Chimp slaughtered me! Just an amazing performance. I just hope he gets another job and does not wind up on skid row giving 'ook ook' to simian fetishists.
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D.Vader was never BANNED it what I meant to write, not "never blocked". So all my old posts still exist.
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I had that problem for a while to with my name. Did you try changing your password? I was using my name on a couple of account on my computer and sometimes the different accounts would fuck the system up and not let me log in.
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Battle Royale 2 is properly queued up. Sounds like Ninja Gaiden, but realler.
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Happened to me once.
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Wow, that sounded a little dirty- but anyway, I have my girl bring "the big bag" with us whenever we hit the movies. Two bottles of water, mozzarella cheese sticks, trail mix, etc. And sometimes, the smell of the popcorn draws me in regardless. But I figure we're still ahead of the game, so I break and buy the stuff. WHen the guy says "want a drink?" and I say "no" they give me the stink-eye.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:19:11 PM CST
I WATCH MOVIES ON THE IPOD DURING THEATER COMMERCIALS
by bringingsexyback
I will never be anyone's captive audience.
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He never responded. I also posted a message to him over in the National Board of Review talkback. Which he also ignored and also never responded to.
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Then check out The Assembly. That movie will blow you away. Those Chinese are really mastering epic war movies.And yes BSB, there is a really distinct difference between Korean and Chinese cinema. The Korean stuff tends to be melodramatic and wacky. But I still love it. People need to check out A Bittersweet Life and Daisy to see just how awesome an intelligently written action movie can be.
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I don't think the movie was trying to juxtapose a kind of alternate-reality where there is no justice to our world, I think it was saying our world itself lacks justice, everything is a coincidence, what matters most to one person is totally inconsequential to the next, etc., etc... Could your idealism have warped your perception of the movie? I think it is clear that the Coens are hardcore realists, and would not make a film whose message is something like "Thank god our world isn't like that." If anything, the Coen Brothers would make the opposite film, depicting a world with total justice, to contrast our own. The world in BAR is an exaggerated take on our own world, which is what satire is all about.
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Fuck them and the horse they rode in on. Fascist theater fuckers. Yack why don't you bring in a bag of popcorn dude? You can still use their butter machine.
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Beef jerky. I fucking destroy that stuff. Love it.
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Tell him to swing on your nuts!
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You'll get it back.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:23:58 PM CST
HEY BEAKS - CAN YOU PLEASE RESET D.VADER'S PASSWORD?
by bringingsexyback
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It was laid on so thick that it was just too much for me.
Also, I'm glad I saw THE CONSTANT GARDENER before I read your review, because you spoiled the ending. -
AMC does free refills on a large bag of popcorn- so he brings in his bag (while it's still the currently used design) and about half an hour into the movie he grabs us some delicious, free popcorn. Genius.
But my girl is far too law-abiding, so she wouldn't go for that, I think. But I'll ask her next time... -
I tried several times to watch that mess. And even with subtitles so I could understand what was being said, it was still an incomprehensible mess.You want a great Asian Western that bizarre and colorful? Watch Tears of the Black Tiger instead. Damn fine movie.
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Phenomenal stuff - you can get it spicy or not ... find it at a Chinese supermarket.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:26:22 PM CST
I once made sweet sweet Amoeba love to a popcorn kernel
by dirk_the_amoeba
But the female canine dumped me for another amoeba who was hung like a paramecium!
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I took it for what it was, or at least what I thought it was, which was a folly-of-man examination a la Shakespeare. A bunch of eccentric (but everyday) types whose ambitions / dreams crash horribly into one another's. Loved Clooney's sex machine.
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BSB - really hope you enjoy BR II; looking forward to hearing your reactions. And YackBacker, I'm keeping my next large popcorn bag. AWESOME tip and mad props to your boy!
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There is a button you can use to just reset your password. Unless you don't have the same e-mail account.
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I'll have to try that sometime.
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He once banned me. Or he says he wasn't responsible for banning me, but he basically implied in his email that I had it coming and the place was better off without me. Back then I had to ask Mori to help get my old name back, which he did and I'm very thankful to him for it. I dunno if this is part of the problem, but it now says you can't register a Talkback name with punctuation in it, and since D.Vader existed from the time before time here at the AICN TBs, I guess it got grandfathered in, but now it won't let the name re-register? I dunno. I just wish someone would help.
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And it looks like I registered a new name with that old email address I used for D.Vader. I dunno how that's possible.
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You can easily hid a 6 pack or two in a baggy/puffy jacket. Its throwing it away thats a problem. I can't just leave my trash everywhere after the movie.
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BR stunned me when I saw it, but now I'm properly desensitized to violence so I'm looking forward to Part 2.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:34:13 PM CST
Memo just went out to AMC chain to put microchips in popcorn bag
by dirk_the_amoeba
Thanks a lot Yak with the Back ya spilled the beanies to the AMC lurker workers on the site! There goes my free piece of popcorn kernel ass!
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Dirk, are you diffusing booze this early in the day? Dude, you're killing me!!!
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Dec 04, 2009 12:34:33 PM CST
UM, THEY DON'T HAVE GARBAGE CANS IN YOUR THEATER S7?
by bringingsexyback
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...I might actually have to try and rank my eventual 100, because this installment doesn't seem to satisfy as much as the first. In fact, I would have placed many of the films in the first installment above those in this one. But again, it's your list, so I can respect it. Big props for including American Splendor and for placing it so high. Giamatti was great and Pekar's stuff deserves any attention it can get. I'd put John Adams on my list if I could, but technically it's not one movie. I just think Giamati and Linney killed it in that mini. Siiigh, I actually feel icky for not having seen Where The Wild Things Are, yet. Loooove that you included Wall-E! Would have been higher for me. I know there's a lot of hate for that one, although I have no idea why. It's incredible escapist sci-fi with an easy to digest message that even small children understand. Into The Wild would definitely have been higher up the list for me, personally. But I'm actually pretty stoked to see that someone at this site placed it that high. Great film where, I agree, Penn finally performed well as a director. I hate The Fountain. I hate The Fountain soooooo much. Grindhouse. Meh. Master & Commander. Meh. Mulholland Dr. Bleh and meh! Film doesn't make any damn sense. You just liked whats-her-names funbags. :P
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Dec 04, 2009 12:35:59 PM CST
I HOPE THEY DON'T START PUTTING CHECKMARKS ON POPCORN BAGS
by bringingsexyback
because of this talkback. heheee
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The guy with the fucking broom? Hell no!
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As hilarious as it was to see in action, in practicality it wouldn't have worked because it required the girl to push backwards too far to send the dildo upwards, thus missing her sexholes completely.
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I does what I can!
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It may help to get resensitized first. Watch Bambi, have a good cry, THEN put BR II in the player.
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to fit in 2001's SNATCH. Make it happen buby.
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all this great movies ar elisted so low on the list. Each and every one of them should had been rated higher.But then again, that would ruin Mr Beak's masterplan of putting very high on the list Trasnformers 1 and 2, Bad Boys 2 and at number one Jar Jar Abrams' STINO.
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EMPIRE OF THE SUN, DEEP IMPACT (when Morgan Freeman tells us we're all gonna die), TALK TO ME (Jaka, you know the scene- after MLK Jr. is assassinated), and I'll come back with some others, but first I have to run out for a bit. Discus.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:42:33 PM CST
BRokeback is a shit movie that shouldnt even be on the list.
by bmacsmith
Ang Lee sucks. you know it.
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I believe it was Lord BSB who requested yesterday not to mention that movie title. You know, THAT one
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Dec 04, 2009 12:44:04 PM CST
I know I am going to regret this, but what does STINO stand for?
by dirk_the_amoeba
Sexually Transmitted Insane Neuroses from Oporto?
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I believe it was Lord BSB who requested yesterday not to mention that movie title. You know, THAT one
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I believe it was Lord BSB who requested yesterday not to mention that movie title. You know, THAT one
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I don't agree with a lot of his choices, especially in this section. But it gives us a great opportunity to discuss his films and the films we would place on our own lists.
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stupid server, Bale help me
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ACTUALLY NO THEY DON'T. Its not that, its walking out carrying a bunch of beer cans or an empty bottle of Mcormicks. Though i think I once was finishing up a tall boy when I left the dollar theater and threw it away right infront of the manager. It was a dollar theater? What's he going to do? I'm more affraid of drinking in places where drinking isn't allowed.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:46:41 PM CST
EAT DRINK MAN WOMAN IS STILL MY FAVORITE ANG LEE FILM
by bringingsexyback
Damn that middle sister was hot.
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I enjoyed JJs Cloverfield at least as much as his most recent picture, you know, THAT one
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That scene is way heavy. I'm not good with crying at movie scenes listing, though. I've been in theaters with people balling there eyes out and I'm like, "what?". I'll tell you the one that got me BAD, and still does to this day, though. Denzel's speech in Glory when the men are sitting around givin' up their truths in a kind of prayer circle (the clapping scene). That scene just wrecks me - givin' me chills just thinking about it.
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Can there be just one talkback without mention of STINO?
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I just went and checked the first installment and noticed there that I said I'd put it "somewhere up in the fifties". Damn it if that's not exactly where he put it. lol
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Here's the first one that came to my mind: Toy Story 2, the song, "When She Loved Me." Fuckin' slays me.
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Sucks man. I registered a new name, since it seems to be cool to have two names. But whenever I switch names it fucks everything up logging on wise and I'd have to wait like a day before I could get back on with either. So I just gave up with the other name.
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I actually tear up in Deep Impact when the blind guy is saying goodbye to his son before they go nuclear. "Be good, be good."Damn, here come the waterworks.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:50:38 PM CST
Beaks, I object! Not one flaming movie about Amoebas!
by dirk_the_amoeba
It's discriminashun!
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Is how Arnold first asked Maria Shriver out on a date. "Eat, drink, man, woman!"
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Is how Arnold first asked Maria Shriver out on a date. "Eat, drink, man, woman!"
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STINO
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How can you not? Masterpiece.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:53:42 PM CST
MY SISTER'S KEEPER HAD ME AND THE WIFE EMPTYING THE KLEENEX
by bringingsexyback
Yes, it was overwrought but extremely moving. So glad Jason Patric got that role.
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Dec 04, 2009 12:53:56 PM CST
The first time I think I had tears of joy while watching a film
by series7
Was getting to see Toy Story again on the big screen, in the 3-D. Not so much the 3-D but the first 10-20 minutes of the movie I probably looked like the goofiest person in the world with a big ole stupid smile on my face.
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Farrrg PG&E switching out meters. Be back shortly....
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...brutal film, that got the waterworks going...
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...hard not to shed 'em at the end of that one.
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Glory is nothing BUT moments that bring on the tears. When Broderick goes out in the morning to see how many men have remained after being told they were free to leave and everyone is still there? Like a bitch.And when he and the officers refuse to take a paycheck because the soldiers started tearing up theirs? Like a bitch.
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...cried more than once...
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And so di THe Journey of Natty Gan. Sue me you heartless bitches.
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Like a bitch!
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Dec 04, 2009 1:01:30 PM CST
AICN Presents: A Retard and his Netflix Queue
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
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...Terms of Endearment. I was with that movie 100%, loving it to death, until that moment when D. Winger says something like, "Hey, what's that lump under my arm?" And I was all, "Oh, NO, this is a fucking CANCER MOVIE?!" So disappointed...
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Should be MUCH higher. But this is your list, so it's all good. And a great list it has been, Beaks.
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I've said it before in other TBs, I just bitch out hard at the end of that movie...
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The movie, unfortunately, did not.
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I love lists like this. Personally I'd have Oldboy in my Top 20, but can't wait to see your Top 50!
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I don't remember the blind guy? I'll have to watch it again.
Silly movie, but hell it had Morgan Freeman as President, Maximillian Schell, and Tea Leoni whom I'd like to throttle with my flesh pipe -
Like a bitch."You bow to no one." A tear or two.
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Skull made my cry AND vomit, simultaneously... a rare feat.
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so overjoyed was I
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Empire Of The Sun and The Remains Of The Day. Always. Never fails, those two movies. I always cry like a Mary Magdalene by the end of those two movies.
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Not exactly like a bitch, but close.
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Yeah, when Maximus' slave-gladiator friend buries the little figurine at the end. Thank you Ridley Scott
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See, now I almost ALMOST cried during Rocky not at that part, but the part where Rocky himself cries: "I didn't know it would be this hard, Paulie..."
Nearly lost it like a little girl whose puppy gets hit by a car. -
Crystal Skullfuck also made me cry, and also for the very same reasons. I just wish that it had all been a bad dream and never existed.
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As coined by Asimovlives ...
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Movie from my childhood that I haven't seen since I was a kid usually always make me tear up.
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Movies from my childhood that I haven't seen since I was a kid usually always make me tear up.
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Of course I saw it right after my Father died, so...
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How thr fuck Mr Beaks puts it so low? i know why, so he can stuck all of Michael Bay's and Jar Jar Abrams' movies at the top ten. Always faithful to his real bosses.
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back in '82 when I first saw Khan at the theatre:
"You are, and always will be, my friend...."
Cue bagpipes -
When he's talking about how many more he could have saved if he had sold his watch and shit.
Like a bitch. -
What used to get me everytime I watched it was the series finale of Angel. When Illyria transformed herself into Fred for a dying Wesley, and he says, "Hello you.." Damn, it's making me teary just typing the damn scene.
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Dec 04, 2009 1:12:35 PM CST
STINO: Sexually Transmitted Insane Neuroses from Oporto
by dirk_the_amoeba
Or,
STINO: STAR TREK IN NAME ONLY
We provide, you decide! -
... i advise some of you guys to never watch GRAVEYARD OF FIREFLIES. You guys will cut your wrists afterwards.
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I enjoyed it for what it was. But Ron Eldard plays the guy who gets blown out of the hole they're digging and blinded by the sun.Before the crew blows themselves up, they all say goodbye to their families back home. And then Duvall says, "Honey, I'm coming home" to his dead wife before detonation. Call me pathetic but that whole scene chokes me up.
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just bitch slapped me at the end also.
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You're referring to the Jessie song, right, the one Sarah McLachlan sings? Yes, that one always did make me want to fellate a shotgun.
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Unfortunately the rest of the movie stinks.
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Was slaughtered by phasers!!! Why? He was so young!
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Cut me some slack but I bawled.
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then yeah, it's a real tear-jerker indeed... of the best kind. The most honest emotional moment in a Disney movie since EVER.
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That was truly an unexpected moment. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Had to wipe the tears off the 3D glasses.
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My least favorite Burton film easily. Even with Marion Cotillard it still stunk.
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I also cried at 300... of how fucking pissed off i was of that piece of shit abortion of a movie!! What fucking shit!
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love to see that its up there, hopefully step brothers makes the top 25
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Hate for 300 I'll never get. It's inspirational.
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I can't see the movie through my tears at that point. And Neeson is just emotionally staggering.
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That mvoei just completly redefines the notion of harshness and cruelty in cinema. The stuff that happens in it will turn you to jello. Hostel is kid's play compared to it. and worst, Martyrs actually has soemthign to say, which makes it even more powerful and potent.
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always makes me a little emotional when Dreyfuss gets on the ship. You know it's his dream, he's followed his heart--but we have to assume he'll never see his family or anyone else ever again. And he might get analy probed.
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Yes, CLICK. The Sandler flick, when he realizes he's missed his life and has heart attack and his son races to him.
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300 inspires me to vomit my guts out. Movies rarely go more retarded then that shit.
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next week. Hate the hell out of that show, but I may just tune in for the love of my life.
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Like 10 bitches.
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See=??? That's why i so fucking hate that Big fish bullshit. The movie even made me not notice that the super-lovely Marion Cotillard is in it. That's a fucking crime right there. Fuck Tim Burton!
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Goodc all. I forgot Age Of Innocence. That movies also makes me weep. In many ways, for me it might be Scorsese's most powerful emotional movie, in the weepy cathegory.
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We got to see the man with 6 fingers blow up Mrs. Monk last week.
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You are right about Jessie's song in Toy Story 2 - for a Disney movie, it's really breathtakingly sad, and speaks on so many levels to the adults in the audience. And a dear friend of mine who died a couple of years ago had long told me about Graveyard/Fireflies and how amazing/sad it was, and I still don't think I can watch it yet, not with him gone.
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I can't wait. I've never watched that show before but for Zooey I'll watch anything.
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That means you will get TWO Deschanels for the price of one. The lead actress is Zooey's sister, you know?
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Whats funny is that Empire Of The Sun doesnt get me at the ending, but the scene when he is seperated from his Mother, and he cries, no, practically bleats "MOM! MOMMY!", and the Cadillac of the sky bombing scene, because of his delirious happiness bordering on the crazy.
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...I agree wit the 911 theory... it was brought to my attention in History class durin the 2000 elections... my teacher said "if Bush becomes president, expect a war six months into his presidency"... not sure bout the timeline but hey, we are in a war arent we?
...and also, he correlated Enemy of the State to his theory... cuz in the movie, Gene says somethin to the effect nobody cares until buildings start crashin down... so in real life, buildings came crashin down and THEN we get the Patriot Act... hmmmmm (and Im gonna repost this 3x so Ill be sure you read it...sorry in advance tho) -
Let me tell you, i make no associations of GRAVEYARD OF FIREFLIES with anybody i know or knew, and yet the movie is soul destroying anyway. i can't even begin to imagine the effect it would make on you if you hacve such a strong emotional association. Still, it's a crime not to watch that movie, because it's really really very good. Who knows, maybe watching it would be cathartic for you. Certainly that's the vibe of the movie, to provide catharsis. And in a strange way, the movie might even be somewhat uplifting, only it doesn't spare any punches on the drama.
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...I agree wit the 911 theory... it was brought to my attention in History class durin the 2000 elections... my teacher said "if Bush becomes president, expect a war six months into his presidency"... not sure bout the timeline but hey, we are in a war arent we?
...and also, he correlated Enemy of the State to his theory... cuz in the movie, Gene says somethin to the effect nobody cares until buildings start crashin down... so in real life, buildings came crashin down and THEN we get the Patriot Act... hmmmmm (and Im gonna repost this 3x so Ill be sure you read it...sorry in advance tho) -
Every man's dream: two Deschanel sisters as once.
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...I agree wit the 911 theory... it was brought to my attention in History class durin the 2000 elections... my teacher said "if Bush becomes president, expect a war six months into his presidency"... not sure bout the timeline but hey, we are in a war arent we?
...and also, he correlated Enemy of the State to his theory... cuz in the movie, Gene says somethin to the effect nobody cares until buildings start crashin down... so in real life, buildings came crashin down and THEN we get the Patriot Act... hmmmmm (and Im gonna repost this 3x so Ill be sure you read it...sorry in advance tho) -
Threw in some obscure shit in a pathetic attempt to hide is awful fucking taste. Seriously, what can possibly be your top 25? Transformers? GI Joe? Iron Man (yes, in Beaks mind IM is better than Oldboy, M&C, Hero...)
Death Proof fucking SUCKED! There... I finally said it.. it was the reason I didn't see IG in it's theatrical run (I watched it last night tho. Holy shit I loved it. QT finally wrote real dialog for the first time since Jackie Brown)
Can't wait to see Transformers in the top 25.
Can't wait to see GI JOE in the top 10
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Just fucking devastates me...that ending is just too much to handle. I fucking love it.
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Really? Maybe it's just because they are right next to each other that puts that into higher relief, but that seems like a major stretch. Glad you got Master and Commander on the list though.
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Most overrated movie of the year.
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Until you see the trailer for Haji. I'm a sucker for dog movies, but just mace me instead next time. It took 20 minutes to make the wife stop hugging the dog.
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Oh yeah! I forgot that one! John Merrick (John Hurt) nearly reduced me into a little baby bitch
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It's after the Cadillac Of The Sky stuff, when Jim says he doesn't remembers his mother's face, that busts me. And the whole sequence after Jim is taken out of the concentration camp and all his travel is played like a surreal dream affects me. but the real killer punch for me is the last scene. It always works, no matter how many times i have watched it. It's just.... undescriable. I can't explain why it affects me so much but there's something fundamental in that scene that hits the very core of my soul. and it's not even because it's a family regrouping scene, it's just Jim's reaction, and acknowleging that his mother is still alive. It's... it's easuily Spielberg's most powerful scene he ever put in any movie he ever made.
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You shit the bed putting Oldboy so low on the list.
Don't worry, we still know you enjoy watching euro-trash fucking in dimly lit rooms w/ piano music playing, so you MUST have impeccable taste. -
I'm convinced Stomp the Yard will be #1
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...I'll give Graveyard a try. And, you know, come to think of it, there's a bunch of anime that, if it doesn't make me cry, does get a tear rolling: My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service, in particular, both just because they're so awesomely satisfying and enjoyable.
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...and certainly a collectively stronger batch of movies than the first twenty five (unsurprisingly). Out of interest did you use your Flickchart list when putting together this list? If so I might just know what will be taking the top spot ;) .
My personal Flickchart top 100 of the decade currently shapes up like this;
100. Roadtrip
99. Quantum Of Solace
98. Blood Diamond
97. Casino Royale
96. Zodiac
95. Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban
94. Death Proof
93. War Of The Worlds
92. The Core
91. Mission Impossible III
90. The Incredibles
89. No Country For Old Men
88. Spider-Man 2
87. Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines
86. The Proposition
85. Jackass: The Movie
84. Hot Fuzz
83. Brokeback Mountain
82. Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire
81. Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl
80. Star Trek
79. The Patriot
78. American Gangster
77. Dawn Of The Dead
76. Lord Of War
75. The Protector
74. The Host
73. 3:10 To Yuma
72. Snatch
71. Little Miss Sunshine
70. 300
69. Iron Man
68. Ocean's Eleven
67. Saw
66. The Royal Tenenbaums
65. Layer Cake
64. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
63. Watchmen
62. Memories Of Murder
61. Hero
60. Stardust
59. The 40-Year-Old Virgin
58. The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
57. 8 Mile
56. Elf
55. Ong-Bak
54. Jackass: Number Two
53. Stephen King's The Mist
52. Hellboy
51. Donnie Darko
50. Brotherhood Of The Wolf
49. Pitch Black
48. The Chronicles Of Riddick
47. 28 Days Later
46. Eastern Promises
45. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
44. The Bourne Identity
43. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith
42. Road To Perdition
41. Rocky Balboa
40. The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring
39. V For Vendetta
38. Collateral
37. Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone
36. Closer
35. Troy
34. X2: X-Men United
33. A History Of Violence
32. Unbreakable
31. Zatoichi
30. Old School
29. House Of Flying Daggers
28. District 9
27. Sin City
26. Memento
25. Taken
24. Blade II
23. Stranger Than Fiction
22. The Ring (remake)
21. Old Boy
20. Amelie
19. In Bruges
18. Into The Wild
17. The Dark Knight
16. Open Range
15. Kill Bill: Vol. II
14. Gladiator
13. Kingdom Of Heaven
12. Death To Smoochy
11. Kill Bill: Vol. I
10. The Prestige
9. Sexy Beast
8. The Bourne Supremacy
7. Battle Royale
6. Kung Fu Hustle
5. Spirited Away
4. Brother
3. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
2. The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers
1. Batman Begins
Quite a few guilty pleasures in there but that's what makes it personal to me. Looking forward to seeing how many (or how few) of these movies appear in your top 50...
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Good call on the ending of The Elephant Man.From another scene from a David Lynch movie, that scene in Mulholland Drive when Naomi Watts' character realsies that her once lover isn't interesdted in her and invited her to the party just to toy with her feelings, and her single tear... man. That scene is devastating. That scene alone instantly turned me into a fan of Naomi Watts.
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Yeah, Steve loves movies where the kids are separated from mom and dad, if they even have both a mom and a dad. He loves messing with those relationships, stretching them. Like in ET--no dad for Elliott, except the symbolic "Keys" or CEOTTK Barry apparently doesn't have a dad, although Roy gets with his mom (after ditching his own family)
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Specialty in it's 3rd act.
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...I think GI Joe gets that title... Hangover WAS good, just ruined when you watch the commercials and read reviews... GI Joe on the other hand...
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The ending scenes with Betty and Rita superimposed over the Los Angeles skyline, with that beautiful score by Badalamenti welling up. Goddamn that shit hurts.
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There's this other anime which i find very moving and pretty depressing-like: The Wings of Honnêamise. Despiste it has a lot of goofy comedy and the score is msotly upbeat, by the end of the movie you do get a feeling of the blues. It's a cumulative effect. But very good. Try it out too.
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... all the scene sin Rob Roy between Neeson and Jessica Lange, i find them very very moving.
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...just glanced over the "Royal Space Force..." Wiki page... sounds pretty cool. I will check that out.
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but it wasn't the end all be all to comedy that everyone made it out to be.
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...Edward Scissorhands! Like a bee-yotch. Sue me.
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When Adolph has to kill Blondi. Terribly depressing in an otherwise uplifting film.
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Funnily enough in her next film she plays a charcater named Chubbie. I find this funny becasue that's what she gives me.
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I LOVE THAT FILM. Its my new favorite date film.
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Dec 04, 2009 1:56:54 PM CST
STINO: Sexually Transmitted Insane Neuroses from Oporto
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Uh huh, no brainer. Dirk strikes again.
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Can you tell it's a very slow day at work for me?
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ALINO's favorite movie...THE MEN WHO SHARE GOATS!
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Dec 04, 2009 2:03:54 PM CST
STINO: Single Tranny Idiot Native of Oporto
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Just what the hell is oporto anyway?
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Dec 04, 2009 2:11:16 PM CST
STINO: Shit Talking Insane Neurotic Orifice
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
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Who would have expected Beaks' list TB to turn into the "like a bitch" memoirs. Last movie to make me lose it was actually Braveheart... was driving from NJ to IN in a midnight Fear and Loathing-style trip, and was too tired to continue, so I pulled over and got a motel room, turned on the TV and there's Mel bugging his eyes out. I was deliriously tired and imbibing generously from the mini-bar, and in that state of mind, even though I'd seen it a hundred times, when I got to the torture scene at the end, and he lets loose with that "FREEEEEDOM!" man, I was fighting back the tears and felt like Bill Murray with his fist in the air at the conclusion of Max Fischer's play. And even though it's not a movie, the only thing I can remember that utterly destroyed me were the various seasons of The Wire. In the first season, when Bodie has to finally "put in work," ? Like a bitch. Second season, when Ziggy is giving his statement to Landsman, and talking to his dad before going back into the holding tank? Or D'Angelo's scene in the library? Like a bitch. Or, dear god, the whole second half of the fourth season... Randy yelling at Carver, "You gonna help me now?" Michael's goodbye to Bug, and Dukie walking off into the junkyard? Jesus, Bubbles whole relationship with Sherrod, and finding his rock bottom? Like friggin' Sylvia Plath being pepper sprayed. -
The MAC is ours tonight, Beaks!!! OURS!!!!!!!
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That Jason Reitman is a complete fucktard? Here is a little quote from his 5 favorites from Rotten Tomatoes: " Alien is a perfect film and if I were to ever make a sci-fi or horror film, the benchmark for me would be Alien. I would put Alien and Aliens side-by-side, actually. I think Alien 3 is mediocre and I think Alien: Resurrection is a travesty. AvP is fun. Whoever wins, we lose, you know -- why not? I would love to see a return to greatness for that franchise. Knowing that David Fincher was given a chance, it's actually kind of confusing. I think with better writers Alien 3 would be measuring up, because obviously he is as quality a director as Scott or Cameron. Jeunet is a brilliant director too, but just not right for that series. " DID YOU READ THAT! he said AVP was fucking fun! I think nothing brings the geek community closer then the hatred of AvP. Jason Reitman hates America and he hates geeks too.
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Hey man, this is your list, but really? I think there should be a dedicated talkback for The Talkbackers 100 Best Films of the Decade. Leave it up for awhile. And do it.
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I am an odd duck covered in crude oil and unable to fly.
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...last great comedy movie... Im still callin hoes "ho fo sho" but I got to stop puttin pussy on a pedestal...
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My sister went to OU. Kick ass!
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Cadillac of the sky scene is when he admits that to the British doc. Watch Bale's performance throughout the movie, as he carries the entire film on his young shoulders. I think it eclipses even his best adult work.
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Are both 1987 and both are two of my all-time favorite films. I'm not sure what else was that good that year, but those two are classics.
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When Mel yells out "freeeeedoooom" at the end and the priest sort of looks like, "oh damn" and then they cut to his friends in the crowd and they're just barely holding it together. Like a bitch.
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is that you have WALL-E so far down. As if you can find 68 movies better than that made since 1999.(Hint: you can't, and you've already listed dozens that don't deserve it.)
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I just don't get it. And I mean literally - I don't understand the damn movie. lol I see all you film lovers LAVISHING praise upon it, as you've been doing for years, and I just. don't. get it. Is it because you love Lynch so much? Because I genuinely found it to be a terrible movie.
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But a lot of people really hate Wall-E, much to my amazement.
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I didn'a like it, laddie.
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you need a roadmap and a cheat sheet just to know which scenes are dreams, which are dreams within dream, which are flashbacks and which are hallucinations. The actual real-world present-time content of that movie is like 5% of its running time. I fail to see the point. and this list in general is frustrating but interesting. Can't believe Oldboy is so low, can't believe Fountain made the list, can't believe Into The Wild ranks this high. ITW was good, but Penn ruined it with pretentious narration and shit on the screen instead of just letting the story play. Props for Grindhouse though. I still havent seen the whole thing since the theatre.
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Dec 04, 2009 2:39:58 PM CST
There is waaay to fucking much male estrogen in here!
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Supposed Men crying at movies and bragging about it? The last time I cried was when the Mohel performed my Brit milah (Bris to the non-Jews).
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...and several times at that... and even to sleep...
AKIRA......all he wanted was to fit in, be cool, have a girlfriend...but NOOO some crazy ass old lookin kids cause him to crash, go crazy, then get killed...damn you flashback at the water fountain! -
...heh new word... I find Animes sadder than any freakin "goin full retard or half retard", oscar baitin movie... theres another anime, forgot the name, bout two siblings in post WW2 movie... in the end, the lil sister died and the boy starved to death... damn you my fellow Japanese people!
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And I'm prepared for the beat down, so it's cool. One, ultra-violence does not make a movie good, it just makes it ultra-violent. Two, the premise and set-up is kind of lame, and not all THAT original (it's a revenge flick - there has been a ton of em). Three, and I'm not saying they're bad in any way - I swear, I'm not. But I just don't get down on Asian cinema they way, seemingly, a large portion of AICN readership does. It doesn't "do it" for me. In fact, it makes the films really difficult for me to watch (with subtitles). Again, in my defense, I am not saying it's bad cinema. I understand that execution wise, from a technical standpoint, they often blow American cinema right out of the water. It's just a personal thing for me, I guess. But over the life of AICN Harry in particular has gone bat shit for any number of Asian films (from several different countries) and I've always TRIED to get into them, but can't. The only two exceptions are Hero and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. The later of which some people can argue against until they're blue in the face.
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sure its a communist propaganda movie but its damn good. Jet Li's FEARLESS is also a kickass movie with a solid story going for it, but since this list already called HERO the best martial arts movie ever (really?) I guess we won't be seeing Mr. Li any higher up the list.
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The first part of Mulholland Drive is a dream that a drug-addicted lesbian is having about losing her actress lover leaving her where names, people and places are changed (like in a dream). As the movie progresses reality begins to creep in. It turns out that the lesbian put a hit out on her girlfriend and not being able to live with the guilt killed herself by O.D.ing. So, it is kind of like a "your life flashing before you die" kind of dream. Does that help a little, buddy?
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...Im glad you liked Hero at least cuz if not, I dunno what was wrong wit you... Crouchin was ok to me, but Hero really is great (wit the color set pieces and action and story)... ...any chance you ever see the Returner? Terminator meets ET meets Matrix (in a good way I swear)
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I've been waiting for us to get into that one, but I often wonder how many people have a) actually seen it, b) made it through the entire thing when they attempted to watch it, and c) cared about that shit pile enough to actually formulate an opinion. In general I think it's another one of those films where people love the director, or the directors potential, so much that they love it blindly. It's NOT a good movie in story or execution, IMO.
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...was long and very arty for me... but I like the scene of the garden growin... thats freaky... that and Jackman's huge head...
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Dec 04, 2009 2:54:10 PM CST
Despite the fact that these talkbacks get kinda dickish
by seppukudkurosawa
I'm gonna have to disagree with Beaks' choice of Into the Wild.
Anytime the hippie couple, played by Catherine Keener and Brian Dierker, were on screen, this movie was at least watchable. Same goes for Hal Holbrook (though his whole segment seemed pretty hastily thrown together to tug our heartstrings. Job done).
However, the fact that the lead character was the kind of fella wont to make these kind of statements: "I think careers are a twentieth-century invention" was a bit of a movie-killer for me.
If I wanted to see bratty preps try to escape from their middle-class existence, I'd go watch Patrick Bateman drop a chainsaw on a hooker. At least that way I get to listen to some New Order. -
Shalom, brother! So, no tears for SCHINDLER'S LIST? You're a hard boychik!
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I was mesmerized by Hero. It's beautiful and hypnotic and half the time I just wanted them to get past the martial arts pieces so I could get back to enjoying the insane beauty on the screen. I'll be keeping the communist propaganda angle in mind next time I watch it, though. Yeah stabby, I mean, it helps a little I guess. I've had a ton of people try and explain it to me in one way or another. And I've always understood the dream vs reality concept. I just don't think it succeeds very well. Like, it would be near the top of my least favorite 100 of the last decade. And I AM a Lynch fan. Even at surreal weirdest. But Mulholland missed the mark for me. The garden growing is cool. But it's also one of the only consistently positive things I've heard said about that film. That alone does not make for good cinema.
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So obviously you never read the book. Otherwise why would you have bothered with ITW at all?
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lol - The first two installments of this list have been two of the best talkbacks in like, forever! Lovin' it.
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I just don't get it.
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I may have sniffed once or twice
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I kind of saw him as stupid and he got what he deserved. i think that was what i liked about the movie. It did not over-romanticize what this kid did and you could take away from it what you will as opposed to manipulative crap like Crash where there is only on interpretation: the way the director wants you to see it.
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Give me Jet Li in Fearless instead. Or Warlords.
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While I think it's sad that the hunters found his body so soon after he died, I was actually physically angered at the way he discarded his family and the opportunities he had presented to him. So many people never have those opportunities and there's myriad ways to take them and twist them to piss off your parents without throwing away your entire life and running off into the wilderness. Now, the running off into the wilderness part, the hippie in me loves that. And I love the journey part of the film. I just think his selfishness is unforgivable. I really dig that film, though.
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Huh?
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I can look up at any scene and just enjoy the artistry on screen. It's an amazing film and it's definitely in my top 100 list.
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Dec 04, 2009 3:10:08 PM CST
Well, I dig The Crossing Guard and it was a choice---
by seppukudkurosawa
between that and some shitty romcom, so I checked it out. I hadn't read the book- from what I hear it's been compared to a modern Catcher in the Rye?- but that doesn't change the fact that the movie was a brat odyssey which HINTED at some kinda early Herzog vibe, but never got there.
And since when did you have to read the source material in order to enjoy a movie?
Mo powah to you if you liked Into the Wild, but I think it would have worked better for me if I thought Emile Hirsch's character exuded an inch of charisma and depth, instead of coming across like a bit of a self-entitled emo. I dug him in Speed Racer, though. (Yeah, I threw that line in there to let you know how out of joint my taste in movies is). -
Much appreciated.
Still figuring out the rest of the list, and 100-60 get pretty arbitrary, but it's a fun exercise.
Along with LotR together at 2, I also count the Bournes together at 49 (the Greengrass ones are virtually indistinguishable to me), as well as X2/Spidey 2 at 35 (couldn't decide which I preferred) and 24 Hour Party People/Control (the Ian Curtis double feature) at 46. -
Come dude, elaborate a little. We're discussing here, not passing judgment.
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Dec 04, 2009 3:12:21 PM CST
When Clive is carrying the baby down the stairs & all the soldie
by iamnicksaicnsn
Like a bitch. There are others, more recent, but I can't think of them right now. Damn, the Wire's a good series, ebonic_plague.
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That was the failure of the film in my opinion. The fact that you really don't empathize wit hthe character that much. I recommend reading the book. It strikes a much better balance of "Wow what a fucking douche that kid was." and "Wow what a brave dude that guy was."
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Just like Grizzly Man. The more seasoned or native residents tend to dismiss both McCandless and Treadwell as idiots who ignored the very real and very obvious dangers of the Alaskan environment.
College kids & Sourdoughs seem to be more sympathetic to both, since they we're also drawn to Alaska for it's abundance of nature, being the last frontier, it's sense of freedom and endlessness.
Ask an Alaskan about either films and your bound to get a pretty passionate response. -
For a director to share his vision with the audience?
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...as directed. And that's exactly why his decisions pissed me off so much. I'll be honest in that I also haven't read the book, so I'm strictly basing my opinion on the film. His childish nonsense pissed me off. But it's that performance that made me decide I didn't hate Speed Racer.
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The Alaskan government should have taken greater measures to ensure Treadwell didn't do what he did. They knew he was out there.
McCandless just seemed to have a disbelieving family. -
Damn limit.
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I can totally understand why McCandless would rather starve to death in Alaska rather than have to visit his parents in McLean, VA on a routine basis.
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I see where you're coming from Soylent, but are they really the same? I mean, what idiot thinks bears, freakin' BEARS! of any kind are really our friends. They are not. They are above us on the food chain and we'll do well to remember that. Into The Wild, on the other hand, that draw back to the primal lives inside a lot of us. Many of us act on it to varying degrees. Fishing, hunting, camping and hiking, etc. Was it wise to run off into the REAL Alaskan wilderness with what actually amounts to almost no training? No, definitely not. But I just can't equate it in any way to attempting to PURPOSELY live with freakin' grizzly bears. lol
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In Up In The Air. Thanks a lot Ebert.
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FUCK. Thanks for spoiling, you bastich.
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Fucking asshole.
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Fucking asshole.
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...and bears. About a guy, I believe also in Alaska, living with black bears all around his property. He like, fell in love with them. Fought hunters over them. Was leaving his family behind for months at a time. And was attempting to fight the government, but lost - thankfully. I don't understand why people can't put two and two together in this regard. Wild animals are WILD! Damn it. And I love the wilderness. I'm an Eagle Scout. I understand the draw, but I also understand how much you need to respect it and give it's space. Attempting to live with wild animals is taking away from everything that makes them special and awe inspiring to begin with.
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When Ned Beatty cheers on his son, the proudest father there ever was.
Like a bitch. -
Dec 04, 2009 3:24:48 PM CST
OLDBOY is very personal for me. Thanks for including it.
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
When I was at college, one of my roomies was a guy called Jack. I remember him talking about OLDBOY a lot and he persuaded me to watch it one Sunday afternoon, and i thought it was the greatest thing ever. We used to watch it almost every month at stupid hours in the morning after returning from a club, or whilst smoking too much weed.He commited suicide several years ago and so OLDBOY is forever connected in my mind to that good friend i once knew. I've passed it on to many others who never had the opportunity to watch it, or who had never even heard of it. Thanks Jack for introducing me to OLDBOY, thanks to the people who made such a great movie and thanks to Beaks for including it in this list.
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Fuck anyone that actually wants to see Cloondawg smug fuck the camera for and hour and half. If I see any Reitman film anywhere near anyones top 100 list, I am gonna JUST BE SO FURIOUS! Just realized I can't do much more then bitch about it.
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Thanks, Series 7. Jackass.
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Funny to think how Rudy's friend went on to be a big time movie director.
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Dec 04, 2009 3:28:43 PM CST
Alright, I agree that you don't have to LIKE the characters
by seppukudkurosawa
-in order to like the movie. And the hippie in me also groks the idea of dropping all your possessions and smegging off to the wilderness. I only saw it that once in the cinema, and in my experience if you're having a shit day, it'll probably rub off on the movie...but I found it kinda contrived. From his flirtations with the Twi-lite chick to his interactions with the flower children to the beating by the train conductor, it just didn't quite work for me. (I know those were scenes in the book). The tone was off or something. I know this is a bit of a flakey argument, but there you have it. I think my main problem with it was the direction: too many slow motion shots, not to mention that voiceover totally took me out of the movie. It made it seem like The Wonder Years or something. And then randomly swapping the narrator to Jena Malone?
I really liked the Eddie Vedder soundtrack, though. -
Shit, I thought you were going to say my roomate at Virginia Tech was a huge fan of the film and he showed it to me, and the rest is history.
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Hey I just saved you $10 bucks. YOU SHOULD BE KISSING MY ASS!
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And then I started racking my brain, going through characters from THE TICK to see if that's what you were talking about.
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Sean Austin has been in quite a few movies and television shows, but boy did he pick well with those three. Iconic movies that people will be watching forever. I suppose he didn't really "pick" Goonies so much, since he was just a kid. But still. Iconic I say!
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SPOOOOON!!!!!
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I'm still seeing it tomorrow. It just means I'll spend the whole movie waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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Astin. Duh.
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Sucks for you. Up In The Air, smug fucking your eyeballs in 2009.
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If that's Aronofsky's best, did the Wrestler not even make it? Good articles so far Beaks, I look forward to seeing Anchorman in the top ten at least.
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The film is better then most of these clowndawgs
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Dec 04, 2009 3:40:12 PM CST
yeah you gys are behaving a little better than last one
by six demon bag
good job..aint it fun...im sure #25-1 list is gonna be a massacre.
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...if the movie is worth a shit to begin with. I, personally, will also be paying to see Up In The Air and I don't believe knowing that Cloondawg bites it will affect how I view the movie in the least. In fact, I often forget spoilers going in if the movie is good enough for me to do that suspending disbelief thing. If they're bad, admittedly I often site there going over everything I've read before hand wondering when it's going to take place, or if I agree with the level of badness previously described. However, again, I have faith in this one. Really looking forward to it, actually.
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Ebert wasn't referring to Clooney's character dying, he was suggesting the character Clooney plays is the type of guy who, when people are at his funeral can't really say much about him because they didn't really know him.
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I still remember my friends being weirded out that I liked it so much after we left the theater. Now, they ALL quote it constantly. I think FIGHT CLUB is one helluva a "man movie," and not likely to be topped anytime soon--with the success of things like TWILIGHT, I think we'll see a more effeminate decade coming up next, not that that's entirely a bad thing. Just saying. We're all just floating.
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the possibility of any and all characters dying has to be in the back of your mind. Unless that character is a ghost and then the movie spoiled that death for you already.
If you read the interwebs some asshole is gonna ruin the surprise
My only question is: Does Clooney's character bite it during some mile high action? Oh yeah! -
but I don't necessarily think his Asian movie titles were racist. The terms "racist" and "racism" get tossed around a lot to corral thoughts and ideas that are not always racist, but possibly in bad taste or stereotyping cultures.
Those terms (racist, racism) are thrown around so their definitions have been diluted; actually being more detrimental than good.
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To be able to watch Up In The Air at home tonight. Really looking forward to that one as well.
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FIGHT CLUB came out in 1999.
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Unless you live in Luxembourg or something, where it's probably still awaiting a release.
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i didn't refresh my page for several hours so that whole argument is long over.
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Didnt know that about Up In The Air. Damn, mate :(
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and one who uses tired cliches to manipulate the audience into an emotional response, i.e. Paul Haggis. Have you ever heard of a little thing called ambiguity?
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what a great year for movies. FIGHT CLUB, BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, THREE KINGS, THE MATRIX. THE PHANTOM...oh wait, never mind.
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Here's a link to the other guy living with bears I was talking about. http://tinyurl.com/ygsmugh Freakin' Bearhaven! Whatever. And he was living with Grizzlies too! I became completely engrossed in this Primetime, a show that I don't normally watch. Not sure how much of the actual video is available, but there's plenty of the text in there to make you go, "wtf, dude?!" The reporter even got sucked into it during the time he spent out there. I just don't get it. They're bears! They can eat you! lol
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Series misread what Ebert said. So relax and go enjoy the movie spoiler free.
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You sure? I thought that at first, but re read it. Have you seen it? I mean its not like Ebert doesn't spoil movies all the time.
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that got them killed. That old bear smelled the blood and it was like a dinner bell. I know that's a joke in Anchorman, but it's for real.
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The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
Charlie's Angels (except for Crispin Glover)
Date Movie
Driven (though it had a couple funny taglines)
Hostel: Part II
Japon
Josie and the Pussycats (this one literally had me cry out in pain in the theater)
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
The Master of Disguise
Reign of Fire
Van Helsing (I'm sorry, but it was retarded.) -
My bad. Hmmmm...wonder what my fave of THIS decade is then? I'll have to rethink that.
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...except that the first Charlie's Angels is kind of a guilty pleasure for me. I dig Drew in pretty much anything, though. Admittedly, the second one is a pile. And Van Helsing, ugh! lol Really, Jackman should count his blessing for the Wolverine part every damn day.
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Dec 04, 2009 3:57:33 PM CST
Nice to see the HTML wasn't fucked up on this one.
by nasty in the pasty
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But when I think "worst" I tend to think of "movies I was most disappointed by." Which reminds me of ATTACK OF THE CLONES. HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE was a well-meaning failure (tho' too much Trillian-Arthur romance, imo) and INDY IV had serious, like life-threateningly serious, problems, but ATTACK OF THE CLONES stands out in my mind as the biggest "what the fuck just happened" moment of the decade. I'd submit it's worse than PHANTOM MENACE because Pod-racing and all that ridiculousness aside, the Maul/Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon fight still holds up.
SOUTHLAND TALES is probably up there too. It and THE BOX made DONNIE DARKO worse in retrospect, almost knocked it out of my top 25. -
It came out in the fall. So, sorry, folks.
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A Walk To Remember (though I had a lot of fun MST3K-ing it with a friend)
Wild Hogs
Blade II (YEAH I SAID IT *puts knuckles up)
Catwoman
Crossroads(Zoe Saldana was in this apparently)
Dreamcatcher
Dungeons and Dragons
Frailty
Ghosts of Mars
Indy Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Jurassic Park III
Red Planet
The Ring Two
Silent Hill
Star Trek: Nemesis
Thirteen Ghosts
Aliens V Predator
Bad Boys II
CA: Full Throttle
Fantastic 4
Miami Vice
Nutty Professor II: The Klumps
Mona Lisa Smile
Mysterious Skin
Quarantine
15 Minutes
Stealth -
The Phantom Menace Spanish track actually makes the movie a lot better. The Spanish actors for Jar Jar and Anakin were much better than the actual voices.
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a studio film that is pretty subversive...blasting the demographic audiences paying to see their film...im sure kurt cobain wouldve laughed his ass off.
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Frailty was a decent Twilight Zone-y B-movie. Blade II was a good popcorn flick (although the Blade franchise peaked in the first five minutes of the first film.) And Miami Vice is legitimately a really good film, imo.
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Has to be one of your favorite movies, if you want to be a member of the AV Club cult.
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...but I dig Mona Lisa Smile (ducks! please don't swing too hard!)Now, as far as disappointment being a factor in rating something as "the worst" - that would put Dungeons & Dragons at or near the very top of any such list for me. I wanted that film to be good sooooooo much. Was dreaming about how cool it would be to have a series of films under the D&D banner. Now we'll probably never get see another one.
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..is the Darth Vader breathing bit after the closing credit scroll.
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I wasn't sure if I'd put Miami Vice up there, but did anyway just to counter Beaks.
Frailty just really pissed me off in the theater, maybe because I expected some good from Bill Paxton and couldn't handle his over-acting or something
Blade II I just can't forgive though. It had so little of the atmosphere of the first one. -
Ebert was just writing bad again. Seriously check out his Fantastic Mr. Fox review, its awful. SOOO all you Cloondawg fans can stop crying, he doesn't die. Which makes sense since Reitman Jr's films never go anywhere, for the movie to end with Cloondawg dying would actually say something, and Reitman doesn't make films that say anything, he makes films that make you feel like you just saw something important. But you didn't.
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Planet Terror. Oh, and the fake trailers of course.
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Looking through my end-of-years lists, my most disappointing flicks include: ATTACK OF THE CLONES, SIGNS, ROAD TO PERDITION, THE HULK (Ang Lee), THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS (I liked RELOADED, with reservations), THE LADYKILLERS, FANTASTIC FOUR, THE BROTHERS GRIMM, HITCHHIKERS, ALL THE KING'S MEN, X3: THE LAST STAND, SPIDERMAN 3, GRINDHOUSE, SOUTHLAND TALES, THE GOLDEN COMPASS (they cut the end?!), and INDY IV.
CLONES still seems like the most depressing of those, tho. I don't think I was ready to internalize the fact that Star Wars had gotten mediocre after THE PHANTOM MENACE. -
It was Crank 2 and Black Dynamite and the same fake trailers, instead of the other movies.
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My favorite movie of the aughts.
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that gives away the ending to UP IN THE AIR. And maybe ban his sorry ass for being such a douche.
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I had it at #15 on my list (up above) -- My main problem was Lost in Translation is that it feels a little too much like score-settling. The Giovanni Ribisi character is, for all intent and purposes, Spike Jonze, and Coppola even threw in a Beastie character ("You don't like hip-hop?") to make it clear.
Plus, while I can understand Bill Murray's melancholy, I think the Johansson character should've gotten her head out of her ass a bit more and done more sight-seeing. There are worse fates in the world than lounging around a 5-star hotel in Tokyo, being depressed.
Not to lose the forest for the trees, I did like it quite a bit -- Like I said, it's at #15. But those issues bugged me. -
... that Lost In Translation and Eternal Sunshine will be farther up the list. I hope they are, anyway.
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Beaks, you're NUTS. United 93 is easily the most intense movie I've ever seen, while Superbad was merely decent. Oh, and Jonah Hill is a one-trick pony. Or wildebeest.
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It's not spoiled. Series7 also admitted he misread the article.
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Sarah Polley & Milla Jovovich it was a pretty cool and brutal Western preceding Deadwood, yet it almost exists in the same bleak universe.
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Shut the fuck up, you whiny bitch. I was wrong anyway. Don't act like I just told Bruce Willis was dead at the end of 6th sense.
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Dec 04, 2009 4:46:50 PM CST
well, ok, but he's still a douche for trying to spoil it
by zombieheathledger
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Also do you think Beaks actually reads anything past 20 comments? He's not your mommy.
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Go read Eberts article. I mean if I'm a douche for trying to spoil it when I haven't seen it, then what would Ebert be if he actually had spolied it? I mean I'm PRETTY SURE more people are going to read his review then this talk back.
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Hmm. Old School was great. Dodgeball was pretty good. Those Pirate movies are great comedy.
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It's a movie written and directed by a woman, that became the most unlikely "Guy Flick". It seems like the most ardent fans of this movie are men. I guess it's the idea of a middle-aged guy escaping the monotony of everyday life, to run around with a beautiful girl in an interesting setting. And, even though it flirts with infidelity, it's a very pure love story. They never hook up. Their kiss at the end is very sweet. The whisper is a wonderful piece of movie mythology, as well. And, I actually love the fact that Sophia was referencing her own life in the very minimalist, yet effective script. I can go on and on about this movie, which still isn't out on BluRay godammit, but to sum it up; It's the one flick that I had the biggest emotional reaction to this decade.
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You STFU you dumb piece of shit. Who the fuck are you to try to spoil movies for everybody? Luckily for everybody your reading comprehension skills match your stupidity or you would have ruined the ending for a movie some are calling 'the best of the year.' Idiot.
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Go read his review and tell me you got something different from it? I don't think anyone is really going to give a shit about some stupid critic mastabatory exercise in Oscar bait film making, ten minutes after they see it.
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Dec 04, 2009 4:53:29 PM CST
and Series7 if Ebert sucks a cock are you gonna too?
by zombieheathledger
Nevermind you're prob cumgargling as you type. It's your INTENTION to spoil that makes you a douche. Now go eat a bag of dicks.
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lockesbrokenleg actually has been very funny about that label. I think so far there have been about 100 best of the year movies just going off of this site alone.
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I mean THIS thread!! Or, whatever. lol Come on, though - either way it's not the end of the world. That will probably involve grizzly bears.
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Dec 04, 2009 4:56:48 PM CST
Hear that everybody? Series7 has already decided for you
by zombieheathledger
what movies are worthy and if HE doesn't think they are, he feels free to SPOIL THEM FOR YOU. Quit sucking your own dick, asshole.
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Ok Louis C.K. Obviously I think the movie Up In The Air is pretenious douchness in movie form, so of course I am going to go out of my way to spoil it. I'm sorry if your world collapsed and you had to go running to teacher to tattle on me.
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Prophecy
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Any movie by a director that enjoys AvP loses all credibility.
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If the best you can do is say, "Hey Ebert did it" (when he didn't) and quote Lockesthetroll, you are one poor, pathetic heaumeau and you need to just admit you tried to pull a dick move and STFU before you make an even bigger ass of yourself.
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That movie is so filled with WTF moments, I love it! Now stop spoiling movies Series7, we're all gonna cry...
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Cock smokers, someone give ZombieJack'sTop a shoulder to cry on. My shift at McDonalds is up, time to go home and suck some bags of dicks!
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...just because you think it will suck, is the true douche move. ZHL is right; failing in your attempt to be a douche does not make the attempt any less douchebaggish. And this whole argument is why I don't read Ebert's reviews before seeing the movie anymore.
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Directed by Michael Anton, 2005. www. imdb. com/name/nm0031216. I worked on it for a few days. I don't know if there is a Potheads II though.
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In Prophecy, turns out that the two cowboys hunting the bear are actually gay, and the bear is really their father, but he's been dead this whole time. So they've been hunting a ghost that can be killed with water, and they think they've been living in the woods the whole time but really their father the dead bear just protected them from modern times, and it turns out that one of the guy cowboys is actually a girl. And Samuel Jackson has been trying to kill them the whole time to just find a out that one of them is the super powerful human he has always been looking for. And Cloondawg dies at the end.
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not that this egotistical retard will ever "get it." All he gets is his Dad's balls on his chin when he deepthroats him nightly.
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There's a youtube video collecting various really awful clips from it including Cage running around in a bear costume (and not in a good, Michel Gondry way) and being tortured with bees. Batshit insane.
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I was so shocked when somebody mentioned that film as being GOOD in the first installment of this list last night that I couldn't even formulate a thought. It's so bad that I almost wonder if it was intentional..... but I know it wasn't.
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Value of spoilers depends I think on the kind of movie you're dealing with. If it's something integral to the plot or setup (e.g., Sixth Sense, most mysteries) it would piss me off if someone spoiled it but if it's a flick that sounds like I might want to see it for its overall impression or content then the spoiler might not be so critical. In the case on this TB right now, though it first struck me as "WTF?," based on the trailers I've seen of the given film I don't see how it is essential to the set up. In fact, it strikes me (not having seen the film) as one of those things were they might have shot different endings and someone didn't decide 'til post production which one to use.
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No, it's not good, it's fucking hilarious!
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That sucker faded fast.
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It's gotta be in the top 5.
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Remember how unpretentious Tarantino's top ten list was?
Sigh. Still a lotta good pics though. -
All are really good and I do like. Most of the rest haven't seen, or if I have, on the idiot box etc. Never had any interest in BrokeButt Mtn AKA Fartknocker Cowboys Over-Easy, but did enjoy the Sockpuppet version done by Cokey later on.
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Tried to remember the name of that one last night. Kept thinking of Black Book.
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How Hilary Swank went from that piece of shit to become an Oscar winner.
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Beyond great really.
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Worthy of a true dick -take a bow asshole.
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-----and you know you'd watch it amidst your fetid pile of raped goat rectums there Almada----
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both are absolute bs hollywood versions of reality the real pianist turned his back on his religion...he was far from a hero and shoulda fried and trust me, the real munich assasins of the fucking terrorist butchers had absolutely no prob with killing those motherfuckers and i do hope that idiocracy ends up somewhere on this list
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I mean the guy who directed that is "directing" the next Predator movie. You would think there would be some opinions on Armored here. Anybody seen it?
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40 Year Old Virgin, Below, Pitch Black, Hot Fuzz, The Bridge, House of Sand and Fog, [Rec]/Quarantine, The Hulk. Not in any order.
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Wonder if/where it will end up on the list? That would be in my top ten of the decade without question.
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ARMORED = not screened for critics. Remember these guys became full fledge critics sometime back in ought 5.
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300 followed by Imax STINO!
Were you a fan of the comics by Miller and disappointed by the film version or just hated it for what it was? I had no expectation going into 300 and enjoyed it. STINO had alot to live up to and failed on every level. -
But I bet the AICN crowd didn't get a free screening invite, so they won't run any reviews for it, not even by regular folk.
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Cloondawg dies at the end of Armored as well? Well thank you Michael Phillips.
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Decided to give it a look after seeing it on the first list. Bana was excellent.
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They don't go to free screening's, only critic screenings. Why waste their time being piled into a movie theater with the filth of the masses? When they can sit around in a room with their peers and congratulate each other on how great their farts smell.
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How goes it buddy? Gearing up for the weekend? The STINO acronym goatfucker likes so much is because, STINO: Sphincter Tongueing Is Normal in OPORTO!
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seen it by now? At least Massawyrm. He seems to get the shit assignments.
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When the date was announced to 2012.
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...that I never hear of here (or CHUD either to be fair). Beastly? Ricky? Transylmania? Bitch Slap?
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Seeing that most of you are probably still at the age to enjoy this stuff: http://tinyurl.com/ycbm6pl
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I wasn't the only idiot who took Ebert's sloppy writing the wrong way, check out that UP IN THE AIR Wins Mastabatory Congratulations Award thread. Ebert Gave Away Downer Ending of UITA in Today's Review
by Deandome Dec 4th, 2009
04:05:04 PM
I really think it's time for him to hang up his keyboard. 4th paragraph...WARNING/SPOILER: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com /apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20 091202/REVIEWS/912029999SEE HUH what do you guys think? He just wasn't man enough to just blurt it out. -
do u think posting things about ebert makes up for your mastery of douchebaggery? signed:your friend
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5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 4. No Country for Old Men 3. Lord of The Ring: Return of the King 2. The Dark Knight 1. There Will Be Blood
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I agree 100%, about the list and about Star Wars/Batman.
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...stupid real life...why you gotta be hounding me all the time?
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What you said about "Trek" and Master and Commander was the most retarded thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Keep your stupid ass spocksucker thoughts to yourself.
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What you did was low and mean. You're a horrible person.
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I thought i was the only one who loved FREQUENCY! Good call!
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Dec 04, 2009 8:32:14 PM CST
nice to see others calling out series7 for douchebaggery
by zombieheathledger
See, series7? You are hated by many. And then you try to take credit for the DEATHLY HALLOWS trailer that Vesuvio's been posting in nearly every other TB all day? You are such a faggggg. Take a dirtnap, worthless. NO ONE will miss you. Buh-bye.
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That movie is lame, I'm pretty much taking a AsimovLives stance on this. If it gets your panties in a wad that I mis read what a major film critic wrote about that film, then good for you. You like bad films.
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I know this is YOUR list and all but that last list had some questionable picks.(that's the nature of this i guess)I like this one soo much more and the way you elaborate why you chose them with part of your reviews are very enlightening. I'm not just a fan of having somebody to agree with, just one that loves hearing a thought out and well communicated opinion. Top thing you get from me is RESPECK YO... :) can't wait to see the rest!... Time of the Wolf will get off of queue tonight and be rented
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Does it have more effect? Or do I take it you have a stutter? Zombiejake'stop you know and I know that playing this sticks and stones game won't get rid of me. Just get used to it. I've admitted to my douchebaggery, admit that you like shit Reitman Jr. movies and move on. Also I'm being called out by talkbackers who no one fucking no's big deal? Eat me.
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...have to come in a ruin every talkback? Can you not see that we're actually having real conversations and intelligent debate. You don't have to lower everything to the most base level. Like, are you really in the 8th grade still? If so, then maybe you should shut up and learn something. If not, then just shut up already. Damn.
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Don't tell me how to run a god damn talkback. GO look at ANY fucking twitch thread.
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LOL. That alone speaks VOLUMES about you, asshat. Congrats you can complete their holy trinity of SUCK. At least you admit you're a douchebag, and admitting is the first step to recovery. Now do us all a favor and kiss the business end of a twelve gauge and rid the board of your miserable existence. Suicide is painless, Series7...
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Lol, you asshole.
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Says the guy who's name is a reference to some dude who couldn't read the pill bottles correctly.
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...but I actually wasn't speaking of you at all. Carry on.
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I admittied to being a douch, and really have you gone and read the fucking thing yourself? Like I said before, I'm not the only one mis reading it. Now you gotta admit that you are too overly upset about movies by one of the most pretentious and worthless directors right now.
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Cool, very well, I didn't think so. You seem professional. Us professional's can sense each other.
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Na-na-na boo boo, like the little girl he is. I've seen tons of Oldboy love, which is too be expected. I've got Thirst to watch this weekend and I've heard a lot of mixed things about it. Anyone else seen it? Also I've had I'm a Cyborg for some time but never got around to watching it. I'm thinking DOUBLE FEATURE!
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Someone listed that above. I'll put my vote in for that as the WORST of the decade. But, wait...no no no, I completely forgot about THE ROOM. Has anybody else seen this piece?
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but again I wouldn't have remembered the french ones. Timeout and The Time of the Wolf are really good. And I'd recommend Time of the Wolf to anyone who thinks that The Road is awesome, because it's not. LOL I'm terrible. But seriously the whole time I was watching The Road I was thinking 'Didn't I see this before? Wasn't it in French?' I just have to scramble my list a little more and it should be done soon enough.
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Just to let you know, I'm swiping your 'heaumeau' word for future use. Not sure if anyone else 'got it', Nice!
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Dec 04, 2009 9:18:12 PM CST
...I feel like I have to come up with a list. It's making me...
by flickapoo
...anxious. We just got the new boiler in, I re-glazed the broken attic windows...now I have to figure out a one hundred movie list of the 00s?I can't take the pressure.
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LOL. Use freely, good doctor. Merry Christmas.
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I've seen the Room, Cloondawg dies in that one too... It was bad, but I fucking can't stand just awful movies. The movie just bored the piss out of me, though bloated britney spears with pepperoni nipples with the same sex scene used twice with in the first 20 minutes was kind of funny. Other then that its just boring I can't believe people watch that shit OVER AND OVER.
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Is the worst movie of the decade by a long shot. Blah blah blah Indy/iron man/Star Wars may have sucked, but they were fucking watchable. Year One was not, and it was made by Harold Ramis, written by the guys who are in charge of writing the next Ghostbusters. God I hope Murray is smart and stays out of that, or makes sure it never happens. Second and third worst of the decade, Angles and Demons. I'd rather just watch Tom Hanks read the book then that boring piece of shit. 1408, fuck you weird ass European name director, go back to where you came from and a time when you still made amazing films.
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Man up and go here: http://www.aintitbalenews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=601:top-10-5-baleievers&catid=7:latest-news&Itemid=2 or use this http://tinyurl.com/y9qed6t
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heaumeau, sounds like something straight from the Dioblo Cody book of hipster talk.
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...it's not a great movie or even a good movie...and I don't really recommend it, but four or five hard laughs isn't bad...
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...those guys, but G.I.JOE fucking sucked beyond measure. I was pissed about the 1$ I spent at redtubebox.Not to mention the two hour loss of life.
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Let me guess, the poo eating scene? You know your picture is fucked when the best acting in it is Vinnie Jones. That movie cost 65 million to make, it looks like it cost $10. The movie was directed by Harold Ramis...Harold fucking Ramis. 4-5 is pathetic. 4-5 is good for a Apatow movie maybe, but from the guy who did Groundhog day? Who was able to stay pretty funny up until Ice Harvest. But at least Ice Harvest was something different and interesting, it just didn't work. Year One is an abortion on screen, I can't even see where in writing it they thought, OH YEAH this will be funny.
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Your giving a pass to Year One, but shitting all over G.I. Joe? Really? G.I. Joe was what it fucking was, the toys in a film, it was dumb fun, something Transformers missed.
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Slightly off-topic, but it's a 30-minute short film I saw on YouTube recently. One of my favorite short films in a long, long time.
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Thanks!
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...GROUNDHOG DAY is a classic, I saw it in the theater...that's irrelevant. I went into YER ONE expecting an SNL quality sendup of the Old Testament...and that's what I got (I had no idea it cost 65 million, that's alarming). I might of mentioned that I logged thousands of Sunday School miles as a kid...and the movie had quite a few inside bible thumper mockery jokes. I laughed.G.I.JOE was not fun. I rented it expecting cheesy fun...and I didn't receive it. My expectations were set so low an episode of TWO AND A HALF MEN + guns would have satisfied me. Scarlett's jiggly boobies were the only watchable part of that movie. The guy who played Duke was so bad as to seem mildly retarded.
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I saw it for free, and I still asked for my money back. How is Groundhog Day irrelevant? In that case, then fucking any star wars movie hate or Indy Hate you may have can't be based on how great the first movies are. I guess you are talking NOW SNL, which in that case even then Year One was actually as good as one of their many bad shows. If you didn't have any fund with G.I. Joe, then you must've had a stick in your ass going in. If you can't enjoy that chase through Paris, then why bother seeing summer block busters?
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and pretty and shiny to look at. Now Transformers really was shit....
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Dec 04, 2009 10:03:21 PM CST
"And though there hopefully aren't too many 40-year-old...
by nasty in the pasty
...virgins out there..."Why is the idea of virginity past the age of, say, 17 considered sad or odd or disturbing? Guys who fuck a dozen women a year are to be admired, but someone who chooses to go without or has simply not had any opportunities to get laid are to be pitied and ridiculed? That's what I loved about The 40-Year-Old Virgin...Steve Carell played Andy Stitzer as just a really nice, ordinary guy who had some bad experiences. Yeah, his co-workers thought he was a "serial murderer", but the film never laughed AT him. Imagine the same movie with Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider. It would have been a movie where the character was a total sex-obsessed letch, and it would have objectified women left and right.And yes, I am a 35-year-old virgin. If you don't like it, fuck right the fuck off.
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...expected...I wasn't judging it based on past greatness. Plus, Oliver Platt was really funny. I can enjoy a big stupid summer blockbuster...that's what I was hoping for with JOE. I thought it was ridiculous, and not in a good way. The fact that the lead guy was so bad...bad porn bad probably pissed me off early and helped shit the bed. I rarely hate movies...I like to drink when I watch less than excellent movies and I almost always go to bed happy.G.I.JOE was terrible.
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I wish you hadn't posted that. You just affirmed every nerd joke known to man.
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...I see you got into some sort of dust-up up there. I didn't get to the bottom of it, but you stuck up for me in the TWITCH/sports debacle...I don't forget.
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Because you think anyone who got any sort of amusement would be the target audience for G.I. Joe. I mean both of those movies are like dangling keys for babies sort of entertainment, just with Year One it was shaking a baby. And you can't negate Groundhog Day and EVERYTHING Ramis has ever done. If you think that way, its like you don't even really give a shit about who directs a movie. PLUS knowing that this was the WARM UP TO GHOSTBUSTER 3? OHHHH wait yeah thats right, you don't give a shit about the original Ghostbusters so who cares how terrible 3 is right? As long as its got someone eating poop, it'll be worth it!
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I've talked to you on and off. It's really just blowing my mind you giving the OK to Year One and hating G.I. Joe. I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND hating GI Joe, I can. But I can't get liking Year One and hating Joe. I guess it brought back funny/horrible sunday school memories? I don't know. And to be honest I walked out a little more then half way through because it was so bad my mind shut off and I feel asleep, so maybe that like third had some moments.
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I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
On another note, Master and Commander is fantastic and would definitely make my top 20. I pray they make another one. I'm only on book thirteen but they have lots of source material to work with. Very little of "The Letter of Marque" actually takes place at sea so they'd be forced throw in elements from other books as they did with M and C. -
I read Ebert's review of Up in the Air, and in a horribly written paragraph it sounded like he said the Cloondawg dies in the movie. And I said Hahahah Cloondawg dies in Up In The Air, and I guess people actually wanted to see that movie? Because some people really got in a big huff about it. But it turns out, he doesn't die and just like expected nothing happens in another Reitman Jr. movie (hahaha another sort of Ghostbuster reference). Just turns out Ebert doesn't really edit his shit well any more.
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Pretty much everyone at Bale News has Master in Commander in their top ten/20. So its probably the best movie of the decade.
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I knew it was shit from the title.
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Dec 04, 2009 10:17:09 PM CST
...that's a decent point. I value directors highly, but...
by flickapoo
...a classic movie is lightning in a bottle. GHOSTBUSTERS is perfect. I've only seen GHOSTBUSTERS 2 and don't plan to see it again...I don't expect much from part 3.
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All of his movies are classic....actually shit. Going through his list of movies he's directed recently: Analyze This, Analyze That, Bedazzled and Stuart Saves His Family yeah fuck should've seen this movie coming. I hate all those movies save for Stuart, just because I never saw it, but I've heard nothing but bad things about it.
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After Groundhog day, I mean Multiplicity is ok. But I wouldn't miss it.
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...once and I don't plan to see it again.
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Dec 04, 2009 10:23:57 PM CST
The Iron Giant makes me cry like a bitch every time
by nasty in the pasty
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERMAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN
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...four or five times. That's a decent evening if followed by sex. That's not a great movie...or even a very good one.
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I just want people to know when they drag out the tired "you a virgin livin' in momma's basement!" talkback insult, there's at least ONE case where it's true (although I live on the second floor).And I think it's HORRIBLE how society makes people who have NOT had sex feel more freakish than those who fuck everything in sight.
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..until Monday. Please, powers that be. Hold the 3rd installment until Monday.
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Tee-hee
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...or at the very least, proof-read. You tit.
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I think this is one of the only times where listening to a soundtrack has made me want to watch a movie. That YouTube vid of the Fountain soundtrack was every bit as compelling as Mr. Beaks said it would be. . .I think the Fountain is going to be next on my "Things to Watch" list.
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It reminded me of the money I wasted on it.
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Both KingNineReturns and Abominable Snowcone have completely different takes on what I took to be its meaning, which is that sometimes scary-ass spooks who dispose of bodies in foundries and erase records might have a rational excuse for their cruel existence...what if "civilization" is a falsehood, and in fact, surreptitious control is the norm?
Maybe we're all correct. Awful thoughts can be as valid as hopeful ones. -
I hated UNITED 93. I knew I was going to hate it, too, when I read the director's interview where he said something to the effect of the usual liberal dross of "I didn't want to make anybody the bad guy and wanted to give it an even-handed view of both sides." WTF? There are SIDES to 9/11? Uh, no. No. Fuck.
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I love how everyone says it's a love story. Yeah, a story about a guy constantly raping and mentally abusing another guy is an awesome love story. I love how one minute someone can say how they hate cliche and overwrought cheese, and yet love BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN with its INSANELY cheesy ending and the total lack of love going on in the story. Wow.
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Watch LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. 100 percent more love, 100 percent less rape. And not one laughably silly sex scene featuring wrestling and beating-up. Pure, innocent love story that's almost G-rated but for the horror elements and language.
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My first exposure to it was the out-of-context clip of a series of little dots connecting cartoonishly to a hammer, followed by a fucking RIDICULOUS fight scene in which OLDBOY somehow manages to beat up a whole army of people who never once in the entire fight scene think to attack him with greater numbers than one at a time. It's one of my biggest pet peeves of combat movies - if there are fifty guys, they could simply rain down on top of the dude with sheer weight and they'd crush him down - watch someone violent with weapons in a crowd in any security guard video footage. You'll see the person commit an act of violence, and then twenty people dogpile on him and it's done. I find this kind of thing freaking silly as hell. OLDBOY was thusly ruined for me and when I went back to try to watch the movie, the whole thing felt like parody because of that SCARY MOVIE level fight scene.
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This list is just reminding of how much I haven't seen. I moved to LA in 2005 and have been so busy working in this buisness I haven't had time to see anything. Well, i just reopened my netflix cue and realized i have half a fucking decade of film to catch up on. I know have 450 movies in my cue and these lists are making it longer and now I'm reading the TBs' and you fuckers are bringing up even more movies I have to see now! At least I got to see Master and Commander on the big screen, so there's that. You don't miss Weir at the cineplex. You just don't.
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Nothing the world needs more than some good old-fashioned Jew hatred, I always say. Seriously - that's sarcasm, in case we're so forgetful of WWII that people might think that I was being serious. Holy shit, man - MUNICH is so hateful of the Jews it enrages me. Especially shocking is that S. Spielberg did it - didn't he also do SCHINDLER'S LIST? Then what the hell, man?
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Did see that. Man, that last shot just reminds me what a master Speilberg is. It's all in the composition. I love the distance he puts between the audience and the buildings. You know if any other director would have made that film, those towers would have up in your fucking face for that fadeout.
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... I fucking hated Andy. He was just the worst fucking human being, pathetic and weak and kinda dim and just worthless. He was so far beyond the pale of humanity at the start that when the movie tries to redeem him I'm like "What, this gross fucker is suddenly supposed to be sympathetic? FUCK, no!" Thre whole act where he's going to bars and talking filth to people that's supposed to be funny - holy shit it's not. It rings sickeningly real and is a pretty good representation of the average guy.Once, at my workplace, a 18yo checkout girl was approached by an elderly man of about 60-70 who asked her "Say, say, did it hurt? Did it hurt?" and she went "Did what hurt?" and the guy goes "When you fell all the way down from Heaven." Holy fuck, men suck.
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I'd like to patent and produce an instant-shocking Ball Taser of some kind. Made and sold exclusively to women, it would be a device that could be hidden in the palm and would fire needle tasers directly into the balls of anyone who throws out a pick-up line. You can bet the respect level would rise with that out on the market. Gawd. :(
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He reveals on the VACATION dvd commentary that he finds the ghetto scene in VACATION to be unfortunate. So, my remark is that I'd like to see someone go through and find -every- piece of film he's done since making that commentary and ask him if he regrets all the anti-white jokes.
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one of the best movies I've ever seen...so glad to see it here. Burn After Reading though? man, I was disappointed by that one. I loved JK Simmons' scenes, but other than that...
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You just made it worse admitting you live with your mom, but at least you are proud of it. Virgin power?
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I hated Munich too, just because it was boring. And really, how many times is Daniel Craig going to play a pissed off Jew on a mission?
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this may be the single biggest display of idiocy in one talkback that I've seen in a long while. Spielberg made an anti-Jew movie, brokeback mountain is about rape, the 40-year-old virgin has an unlikable main character, harold ramis hates white peopleman...you must really need attention bad, man. I bet your teachers must hate you.
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Teachers>And no, I don't think Ramis hates white people. What I do think is that he's a typical intellectual coward who crafted some legitimate humor back when Hollywood had balls and now, in the new sackless Hollywood of today, he's forced to go back on his jokes to save face because that kind of humor is suddenly intolerable. My point with Ramis is that he's still doing race jokes in his other movies - because racial humor can be very funny, at the expense of ALL the races - but he can't admit it.And I do find MUNICH to be a bit anti-Semitic and I do find the "love" scenes in BROKEBACK, with the hitting and wrestling and the violent first "love" scene where he rushes into the tent and assaults the guy to be kinda rapey.
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Daniel Craig can act. I really liked him in FLASHBACKS OF A FOOL. Great flick IMO.
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This isn't a fight - but seriously, you think Andy's a likeable guy? What's to like? Honestly, would you want to be his frienf? Listen to him talk about anything? Really? In real life?
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If you legitimately have pride in your life, that's a rare commodity. Don't let anyone break you of your pride.
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why didn't u say that it was u and when the blind guy said u must have fallen from heaven, u dropped to your knees and made like a hoover? signed: your friend
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So, I've spent hours since Beaks' posted the first part of his list on Tuesday building my own Top movies of the decade list. I quickly found that limiting the list to 100 films just wasn't enough. It's a completely arbitrary limitation, so, I ended up just making a list of the best films, period (I ended up adding TV shows too). I ended up including pretty much everything from the decade I could think of that I would rate at least an 8 out of 10 (quite a few 7s made it on the list too). Before I post the link, I have a few caveats. I dislike comedy, in fact, comedy is for plebs. There are maybe a half dozen films on the list that could be termed primarily comedies (rather than a drama with strong comedic elements). There are no Pixar films in the list, or any Amurkan animation at all. Amurkan animation has been creatively bankrupt for over a decade, and yes, I feel that includes Pixar too. I can only recall seeing two Pixar films in their entirety: Wall-E and Toy Story 1. Neither did anything for me. I found Wall-E to be twee and trite. I think there is the slightest chance I might possibly enjoy Ratatouille, but the likelihood that I won't is enough to keep me from wasting the time on it. I had my fill of absolute shit in the late 90's/early 00's. These days, I don't bother to watch a film unless I'm fairly confident I'm going to enjoy it, and rate it well, based on reviews from critics I tend to agree with, and recommendations and discussions with friends who have seen the movie, or familiarity with the source material. For reference, this year I have watched Defiance, District 9, Inglourious Basterds, Capitalism: A Love Story, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Moon, Thirst, Public Enemies, Bad Lieutenant POCNO, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Watchmen, Where the Wild Things Are, and Zombieland. I watched virtually every film on that list due to respect for A) the Director, or B) prominent cast members. In short, I'm a huge snob, and the films in this list will tend to confirm that. I am probably missing quite a few foreign and art house films that deserve to be in a list like this from early in the decade, prior to my snobbish conversion. Feel free to make suggestions, or flame me for the giant ego-wank of posting this. http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=43791386
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Unless he's playing an angry Jew with vengeance I don't give a shit.
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and btw, r u so bad looking that hisogyny is your only recourse? how about an invention that can be shoved into a bitch's cunt that shoots out razor blades upon insertion, how cool would that be? signed: your friend
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I don't think your a film snob, just a film douche. Seriously just put a fucking movie in and watch it? You have time to post on this wasteland, so don't act like your TOO busy to watch crap.
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Wow. Now THAT is pure, unadulterated antisemitism there. You HAVE to explain the "turned his back on his religion...he was far from a hero and shoulda fried" comment. Actually, I don't think you can. I can find no possible reason that this comment can be anything other than antisemitism. What, he took the Star of David off his clothes while he was in hiding, and refused to submit to being executed simply for being a Jew, and THAT means he turned his back on his religion? You're saying Szpilman should have happily embraced his Jewish heritage and happily boarded the train to his death? Fuck you. No, really. Fuck you, you stupid cunt.
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But you rated it lower then Juno. So yeah you just don't like movies.
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I will accept the term film douche too. And no, I'm sorry, I've watched far too much crap to waste brain cells on more of it.
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Sorry, those ratings on the right are either your ratings, or IMDB aggregate user ratings. I actually rated both as a 7.
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Still not much better. But man if you don't like Pixar, and I didn't see any other animated films on there. Do you just not care for animation? Or you like really old?
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Why? Because he's courteous, quiet and polite? Will Ferrell in something like Step Brothers...THAT'S unlikable.And am I "proud" of my virginity? I wouldn't exactly say that, but I'm not going to allow it to rule me. I'd LOVE to have sex, but considering my faults (mediocre looks, the whole living at home thing, and I think I may have Asperger's or something similar), I doubt it ever will happen. But does that make me somehow a lesser man? Just because I haven't stuffed part of my body into a woman's orifice? Lame. I wish I had fucked some chick at age 17 just so I wouldn't feel like the pathetic freak all movies depict virgins as.
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Antisemitic? Because it showed that Jews could get angry, could get reckless, could exercise regret, confusion and remorse (as opposed to wild-eyed fanatics, who never do)?
I've always thought of Israel's leadership as reflexive automatons...this movie depicted a confusion and fury that seemed sensible within the context of their own bewildered struggle. -
Thanks for not crafting a typical critic list, that actually gets people talking. Good job.
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There are several animated films in the list. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Howl's Moving Castle, The Triplets of Belleville, Paprika, Persepolis, Spirited Away, Millennium Actress, and Waltz with Bashir. And that's assuming the IMDB tags are right.
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did you not see Knocked Up where notable Jew, Seth Rogen, praises the film for making Jews badass mofos which lead to an increase in lady love?
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Again...why? His social skills were obviously stunted, but he was obviously intelligent, kept himself in good shape (there's the usual virgin cliche...that they're all fat and lazy, as well), and was just plain NICE, even when people were being arbitrarilly shitty to him when he revealed his "dark secret". So, anyone who hasn't had sex is a worthless human being? Fuck YOU.
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...of a virgin with the username "Nasty In The Pasty", thank you very much...
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Yeah I guess I was thinking American animated. Whatever, I'm too tired to get try to understand how anyone could not even just SIT through a Pixar movie.
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I did not care for them.
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I always think of Fantastic Mr. Fox as stop motion. Maybe you'd like Battle For Terra? Its not your typical kiddie fair which you seem to think Pixar is.
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Don't start that "It'll never happen" shit because it will. trust me. And you would be suprised at how many ex-virgins heavily identify with your plight. Remember, life can turn on a dime, for the positive as well as the negative. There are ALOT of people who are in a similar situation as you. I was at one point, and now my life is almost 180 degrees from that. Just think about what Kevin Spacey said in American Beauty: "There's only one day in your life your too old to change and that's the day you die". Charge on my man. the Great Game is far from over.
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Something wrong with your wiring. Toy Story 1 is the greatest movie ever made.
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...is typically written to, and for children. There's very little subtext, everything is right there on the surface. If you notice, of the seven films in the list above, only two of them are really appropriate for children, with the rest being targeted towards an adult viewer, and not your average viewer either. Even the two (Miyazaki) films meant for children are universally lauded for the fact that, while they're appropriate for children, they also have enough subtext to keep adults interested and engaged too. With the Pixar (and American) animation I've seen over the last decade or so, it's all too easy to just shut your brain off and drool your way through the movie. I have no interest in that kind of experience. I _enjoy_ having to think about movies.
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Seven Samurai is the greatest movie ever made.
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During Juno? I mean if you only want thinking movies why don't you just watch crap like Satantango or Inland Empire? Do you not get the inherit joy and wiz-bang of pixar movies? Also there is always an underlying message/theme in every Pixar movie.
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a top 25 tv shows of the decade? You definately couldn't do 100 but still.... Herc, I'm looking at you.
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Whatever. 7th Samurai was way before my time. Yea its an amazing movie, but having be subjected to billions of movies that have stolen from it all the time, its hard to separate that. I'd say M or Metropolis are the GREATEST MOVIE of all time. But Toy Story is my all time personal favorite, followed by City of Lost Children. Toy Story is just so amazing to me because it was the first film in my lifetime to be truly revolutionary. It ushered in the most successful wave of films in history, and it was a brand new art form. Its like The Jazz Singer. Sure you can say movies like JP or Pulp Fiction were revolutionary in a way, but Toy Story created a whole new medium in which to make films.
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I hadn't heard of Satantango. That's on my list now, thanks. I tend to not like David Lynch's work, though I haven't seen Inland Empire. And no, I _don't_ get the "inherit joy and wiz-bang of pixar movies." I'll freely admit I'm a pretty joyless bastard (with a lifelong ambition of becoming a _real_ curmudgeon), so that kind of thing just comes across as twee and artificial to me.
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The idea and theme of Toy Story was great. Also its funny, and pretty much the first 15 or so minutes of the movie every shot and every line is iconic.
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Satantango. Its fucking 7 hours long. I mean by all means go for it if you want, I've thought about watching it just to say I did.
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I never said he was bad for not having sex. In fact, I think the movie's suggestion he has to have sex to become a human being reeks of shallowness. It's his willingness to go along with being changed by other people that really makes me rage out when I watch that movie. I see him living his life and then he tells his friends a deep secret. They give him absolute SHIT over it, and he goes "Okay, you're all correct - I am a worthless suck ball." And that made me lose all respect for him. If he'd just stopped talking to them all, now, there's a character I could respect. Dignity is essential to the human struggle, IMO. It's what distinguishes a real person from the faceless legions of fucks who are represented by his so-called friends who then immediately sell him out - those are the real bottom drawer, but his willingness to go along with them is just awful. His manager is disgusting. His co-workers are equally disgusting ("theeeeee dirrty sannnchezzzzz an' theeee shittee bawwllzzzz"). The language and filth in the movie is just outrageous and unfunny as fuck, because it simply reflects to me what people are really like and how utterly repulsive and disgusting they can be. Just awful human beings, all, in that movie. I hated KNOCKED UP for that reason, too. NONE of the characters are good enough to deserve to have kids, and yet the movie suggests that somehow by virtue of having kids they're better people. Fuck that - they're just as fucked-up and awful in the ending as the beginning, but in different ways. Gawd. I despise movies about people who fuck up their lives and then find redemption - don't fuck up in the first place.
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wow, sux 2 b you! signed: your friend
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Whatever, there is not an artificial not in Toy Story. I hope you don't have kids, what would you allow them to do for fun? Read books? Kill small animals? You want a good foreign film that's a thinker and adult enough for you, yet has some amazing set piece and a real blast. Check out The Good The Bad and The Weird.
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There are always these petty little things that stop me from liking a movie. Andy, as portrayed in the 1st film, is a goddamn ten-year-old. In Modern Day America. And he's got a fucking COWBOY toy and a SPACE MAN toy. Fuck no. Ten-year-olds play with toys that have names like SPAWNAGEDDON and the BLOOD BLISTERS! So either Andy's world is totally disconnected from our own (and therefore isn't saying a damn thing about real emotions or real feelings) or Andy is just REAAAAAALLLLLLLY gay REAAAALLLLLLY early. Then again, his room WAS painted with clouds.
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Here I'll save you some time. Number 1 TV Show - Breaking Bad. That's all you really need to know. Everything else is subjective.
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u do realize the irony when you wrote... "The language and filth in the movie is just outrageous and unfunny as fuck." signed: your friend
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My list above includes the best television shows of the decade too. I'll save you having to find the link: 10s: BSG, Deadwood, Firefly, Mad Men, Rome, The Shield, The Wire 9s: Breaking Bad, Damages, Dexter, In Treatment, Sons of Anarchy 8s: Angel, Band of Brothers, John Adams, Pushing Daisies, True Blood, Wonderfalls I imagine Carnivale belongs in that list, but I haven't seen it, so can't rank it. The same with Californication, Weeds, Six Feet Under, Dead Like Me, and probably several others I've forgotten. I don't list The Sopranos as a 2000s show, it's a 1990s show (it was what, the fourth season before the credits were updated to show the missing WTC?). I feel pretty confident in saying that the 9s and 10s are pretty much set though. Oh, and of course, my usual predilection for drama prevails. Comedy is for plebs (hence no Entourage or anything like that). And Reality TV is for brain-dead fucking morons who should be rounded up and sterilized to prevent them from polluting the gene pool.
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So, so underrated. It's hard to believe the same guy did alien 4.
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If I had kids, they would not beleive in Santa Claus. They would not believe in the Easter Bunny. They would not believe in the Great Pumpkin, or Scooby-Doo. Now, they might enjoy SHOWS about those characters, but I would make fucking sure I was not one of those fucking terrible parents who saddle their kids with no fucking ability to discern reality from fantasy. I would encourage any son or daugher of mine to be succesful, study hard, observe the real world and be abl to survive in it, know how to build and take things apart, know how to cook, know how to drive even though they were not going to do it 'til they were older (ie the mechanics of a car, the way a person drives a car), know how planes work, know basic science (as far as they could excel). They would be raised atheistic, 100 percent, and would be taught that the greatest virtue is survival and success. I would also not give them false ideas about "love" being the center of the universe.
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Yeah I don't know how I got dragged into this. But I see what you are saying. I didn't buy 40 year old virgin at all. I've meet some dudes, while not 40 but at least in their 20's you haven't dip their stick yet and while one of them was a nice guy, he was pretty much just asexual. Just sex wasn't a thing for him. I found out he had a girlfriend for some time, and (in your typical douchebag frat guy voice) i asked him, "you hit that yet?" And he gave me the most perplexed look, and was like "HEAVEN'S NO! We haven't even kissed." He was kind of religious and trollish looking. Plus he only took like 5 minute showers (sorry he was my roommate for a while). I mean he was every thing a girl didn't want. But a very nice and pretty cool guy. The other guy I knew, was a complete fucking sex crazy'd weirdo. Who was pretty ugly, but always complained because he only wanted the HOTTEST CHICKS. We would get him some whorish bitch who'd probably hook up with him and he was like NO I want the hottest girl in the room. So yeah he quickly became an alcoholic then a drug addict. I think though at one point he went to Mexico and paid for it? Or paid for a guy I don't know, dude was a complete nut job.
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wow, double sux 2 b u!
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I actually think the answer for most virgins is "Psssst, it's 'cuz you're ugly. Genetics IS a factor. Give up."
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I would teach my kids how to be a bad ass, just like my dad did for me. All you need is a belt and a pack of cigarettes. Seriously everyone thought my dad was the coolest dad in the world. I'll probably have a kid within the next two years. Just got married this year. HERE CHECK THIS: JUNE - New job, JULY - Bought first house, AUGUST - Got Married. SO yeah I had a pretty busy summer.
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WRONG. HE did Harry Potter 3, and Your Mother Too.
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But its really funny.
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I put The Wire at number one though. And I feel you a little on the comedy but you got to have Arrested Development on there. That show was amazing. Saw first season of Weeds. Met the entire cast. Great group. I even have a bag of prop weed and a stack of fake drug money they left behind. The black dude who was in 40 year old virgin was cool as shit. But the highlight was having Matthew Modine tell me stories about Kubrick. I'll never forget that as long as i live.
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You were talking about what I put, about city of lost children. I thought you put Children of Men. Sorry been drinking.
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AND TOY STORY? Or at least one of the many writers on both...Joss Whedon.
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He did a Harry Potter movie? I stopped at the first two until they're all done. But man, i got to see what he did with that.
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I'm about to burn one anyway.
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"Comedy is for plebs (hence no Entourage or anything like that). And Reality TV is for brain-dead fucking morons who should be rounded up and sterilized to prevent them from polluting the gene pool." Plebs? I thought you were British Rhuragh, but now I must ask if you went to the Naval Academy?
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Yeah fuck man. I wish Jean Frenchy French Man did a fucking Harry Potter movie. That would be nuts.
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a Harry Potter movie. That blows. That would have been awesome. Yeah, Alfonso Curon. I heard that's when the Potter Films start to really take off.
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Are you the real life version of Dexter?
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for not putting 'death proof' where it belongs; the toilet.
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maybe then they wouldn't bore me to tears
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Thanks for the further recommendations, Series7. That's three now? Awesome. Yes, City of Lost Children is fucking awesome. And yes, it's hard to believe that he also did Alien Resurrection, but not so hard to understand once you realize that he did it while not speaking english. It's also not hard to conceive that he's also made Amelie and A Very Long Engagement since then. Series7, if I had kids (which is very doubtful, I'm not sure I'm amenable to the idea, even assuming I had a mate interested in that purpose), I'd push them towards Miyazaki, certainly. I'd let them watch Pixar films too. Doesn't mean I'd have to watch them with them (all the time), or even enjoy them myself. I wouldn't let them watch crap like I watched as a kid (transformers, GI Joe, that stuff was just made to program kids into dutiful consumers). PBS would be acceptable (Sesame Street!). As they got older I would attempt to teach them about consumerism, and how television shows and commercials have an underlying message they're trying to manipulate you into accepting (BUY OUR JUNK, NOW), before they got to the age of outgrowing the programming I list above and trying to seek their own. And yeah, like Spymunk, I probably wouldn't teach them to believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. I'd teach them _about_ religion, but I wouldn't force them to join a religion (I'm atheist myself, though technically agnostic, since it's not really possible to prove God _doesn't_ exist).
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Did 3, its the best one. 4 and 5 sucked. 5 was so boring I gave up on the series. Probably catch the rest on VHS one day.
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You should make your kids watch movies like The Corporation and Food Inc, when they are like 12. Man would they be the most hated person in school. I wouldn't stop my kids from watching Transformers or GI Joe or Inspector Gadget or Samurai Pizza Cats, just because I don't want to castrate their imagination. BUT they will want to see the crap that's on TV these day. Shit like Yougio and Pokemon. Those shows are far more extreme then the shit I watched.
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They force buying shit even more so.
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I would actually have no problem with kids seeing either of those movies, not ot mention the documentaries about what goes on in a slaughterhouse. I think kids need to learn how the real world works as soon as possible in terms of not being fooled by consumerism or conspicuous consumption.
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These days, and most cable shows stay away from this, is shit like, GO ONLINE FOR EXTRA OUTTAKES AND VIDEOS!
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Is time. Think about it, how many OLD movies have you not scene. Now they are making the most movies per year that they ever have. Think about even 20 years from now, how many less old movies those 20 year old's would have seen.
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I'm fine with my kid being a little consumeristic bastard. I was, and some way still am. I don't think I want my kid being some monotonic nay sayer through school pissing all over everyone's good time.
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... how this generation will deal with its deathbed. Surrounded by toys and action figures, with no life, gasping and choking out their last moments, thinking . o O (At least I saw all the SAWs...)
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Sorry, those aren't in any particular order in each line, just by score. Among the tens, I think a pretty good argument can be made for The Wire, Mad Men, or The Shield as THE absolute best show of the decade. You may also be right about Arrested Development. I may have to track that down at some point, as I haven't seen any of it. No military academy for me, Series7. Nor do I cut people into tiny pieces and feed them to the fishes. I'm mostly a pacifist. I have a very hard time accepting any argument in favor of violence.
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If I could give only one word of advice to a son or daughter of mine, it would be "Be superior in every way to everyone around you." I don't mean have a superior attitude. I mean BE superior - smarter, stronger, faster, etc.
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But don't hate The Saw movies. If you hate the Saw films then you must hate all the freddy/jason/Mike Myers films of the 80s. Its just a new style of slasher film. Its an original series not a reboot of an old series, a redo of an old film or a redo of a foreign horror film. You don't get those that often in horror these days.
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British?
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Yes, I certainly think that a 12 year old (possibly younger) could understand and rationally consider the arguments in films like those (or the Michael Moore films in my IMDB list). I know that I could have understood arguments like that, had anyone in my family had the brains to show them to me (had they existed at the time). Instead, they force-fed me Christo-fascist propaganda that took me a decade to deprogram.
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Though I'm not too fond of the Brits right now either. They're heading full-tilt for an authoritarian surveillance society. Right now, my culture of choice would be one of the so-called Nordic democracies.
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Yeah I may have been able to understand those movies, but I was having too good a time enjoying films like JP, T2, Demolition Man, Alien, The Omen, Never Ending Story, He-Man, Monster Squad, Batman. My parents let me watch whatever I want and took me to R films.
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And it's frustrating. I have my own ideas about things - honest, truly-felt ideas. And I get shit on for them. As you can see here.
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I'm pretty sure about 50% of what is said here is misconceived.
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...but I didn't see stuff like The Godfather until I was in my 20s, out on my own, and actually _learning_ instead of being force-fed crap by my ignorant family. Also, we crashed the site. I couldn't get a refresh for about five minutes there.
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I'm out. Gonna probably pass out trying to watch Thirst.
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I watched movies all the time. For two years I'd hit the movie rental store on the way home from school and rent whatever I wanted. Shit like Pink Flamigos to whatever just came out that week.
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Except the one time my brother locked me in a room and forced me to watch Aliens, can't really blame him for that. By high school I dictated what movies we saw as a family.
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If not only as far as being the most culturally impactful film of this decade. Putting it at 70? That's just fucking ridiculous. Im not debating here so much as Im stating a fact that there were not 70 better films made in the last decade. I guess it's Beaks' personal taste but I think there are certain objective artistic truths that any fan of cinema worth his salt need to follow to keep credibility.
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movies are subjective.
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Amplifying my previous comment a bit (in an attempt to keep the conversation going), I'd probably let my kids watch films like JP, T1 (and 2), Alien, Demolition Man, and (definitely) Neverending Story. The first few would have to wait a while until I sure they could handle the violence/gore/ideas inherent in those films, but Neverending Story could be an easy early film. He-Man and Batman though...those are films that mean a lot to use because we A) grew up watching the He-Man cartoon, and B) have seen the evolution of comic book movies being a joke in the '80s to being considered serious cinema today (thanks to Singer's X-Men and Nolan's Batman). In another decade (the earliest any of us could have children who would be interested in seeing thirty year old movies), the idiom of films like that will be VERY old by then. I'm not sure those two films speak in a language that would be appreciated by children (or any audience) in the future. That criticism also holds for some of the other films in that list, like JP. The CGI in JP is already looking very old and dodgy to us. Imagine how it will look to our children having grown up on a steady diet of Avatar or District 9 level CGI? Many of the big effects films of the past may simply not have much to say to future generations once the novelty and ingenuity of their effects has worn off.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:10:57 AM CST
How was Brokeback the most culturally impactful film of the deca
by series7
More so then crap like Twilight?
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That shit does not look old or bad at all.
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I was raised to be incurious. Religion and GOP propaganda demanded it. Unfortunately for my family's totalitarian aspects, they were also sci-fi geeks. Sci-fi is, by definition, very forward looking, inquisitive, and progressive. Sci-fi taught me to be open-minded, where the "important" lessons my family was teaching me in our fundie church were intended to teach me the opposite.
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it would probably be like me watching the Batman show as a kid. I found it corny and funny and lame. Hopefully Batman will just keep rebooting itself every 20 or so years.
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My parents pretty much ignored religion. We were too busy having fun and doing shit to waste our time with that bullshit.
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Over the last decade support for gay rights has added 10 points, easily (from the high 30s to high 40s across the entire nation). This is almost entirely due to the 18-34 bracket. I think Hollywood, with films like Brokeback Mountain and Milk, have a large portion of the credit for that sea-change in attitude.
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Is completeness. Back in the 80 and maybe the first half of the 90s. If you wanted to, you could have seen every new movie that came out, read every new comic and book, saw every new TV show and be playing the newest game and listening to the newest music. NOW all of that is on over drive and there is no way to stay constant on any of them let alone ALL of them. ALSO back then you could DO all that and still have time to play sports and just hang out with your friends.
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You are now officially my hero. You are the most honorable and honest TBer.
But to answer your question why anyone over the age of 18 who is a virgin is an object of scorn and ridicule in movies, it is because evolutionary wise they are "losers". Mankind is on this earth to reproduce; anyone on film who doesn't do this is going against the majority of people's natural instincts and therefore must be wierd or different or a failure in the audiences eyes.
It is the same reason that handicapped people are always shown as people to be pitied or bitter. Nature says that only the strong and heathly survive, so those who are disabled must be "losers" or It is a undesirable condition.
Luckily the real word doesn't follow the film world's prejudices. Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Stephen Hawkins and FDR were hardly failures; and Saul might not have had any offspring and was a genetic failure, but after he changed his name to Paul he helped spread a meme that would reshape the world and impact billions of people, and have a bigger influence than almost any stud who has slept with thousands of women. -
Adults now being a bigger factor them some gay movies. If that's the case then movies like Philadelphia and The Birdcage probably had a bigger effect. Nothing against gay's.
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I don't think that's entirely true. I bet if this guy: http://tinyurl.com/6mpkgu wanted to make an Army/religion/giant corporation he'd probably be able to do it in less then a day.
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When I get this Philosophical. Time for bed.
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What the fuck? This is a word in subtitles in like the first scene of Thirst. How am I suppose to take this serious when the subtitles guy went ahead and made all the subtitles look like some Asian speaking bad Engrish?
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Don't go! I'm managing to stay on.
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You guys are making me think I need to see that. I honestly had no interest in seeing it because Ang Lee usually bores me to tears. There's always such a detatchment from the audience with his camera placement, composition, and blocking. But, despite that; I always have to leave the door cracked open for that guy on account of The Ice Storm. There, his omnipresent, objective viewpoint works to stunning effect. With Brokeback though, all the talk seem like that Hollywood/Oscar hype shit where half the masses drink the koolaide but I'm starting to think I misinterpreted that one. There's too many people giving props to it.
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had to acknowledge as high art and a highly emotional excellent piece of cinema. It had no clear message that wasn't inherent in the conflict of hte characters and ergo wasn't preachy in the least, allowing it to infiltrate the hearts of the skeptical, whose bullshit meters never had a chance to go off before the were completely absorbed. I think a great example of this is how completely silent the conservative community was on this. Anyone who watches this film can't deny they are watching two people who just HAPPEN to be gay struggle and fail against an attraction that defines their lives, and seeing that is beautiful, no matter the genders. That film came out just five years ago and was like a canon ball through a castle wall. It stood on the shoulders of giants to be sure, but like Milk its a cultural landmark in the battle for gay rights. It beyond repugnant Crash won for best picture that year.
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Make CPR look remotely real?
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If Ang Lee bored you to tears, Brokeback ain't gonna change that.
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Yes, but even within the 18-34 demographic the numbers are swinging wildly toward the lower end of the age range. If you look at the demographic numbers, 35-49 (the Reagan generation) is almost as conservative as 65+. Philadelphia was a movie with a very early impact (and possibly kept the 35-49 demo going completely batshit crazy), but really, it's the 18-34s now who are, by Nate Silver's projections, going to cause a tidal wave in the elections in favor of gay rights in the next decade and a half as the 65+s die off. Silver's projections show that today's 18-34s will swing the electorate so far in favor of gay rights like gay marriage that by the mid 2020s, there should be solid majorities in EVERY state such that every state passes laws legalizing it. In fact, today, there are only two or three states with less 50% support for gay marriage in the 18-34 bracket. We're talking Utah, Alaska, Wyoming, and Alabama. And that's it. Every other state has majority support among 18-34s.
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That is an excellent explanation for Brokeback Mountain. Bravo.
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Because it was just fucking boring, and cold. I never once bought into those guys romance and love for each other. While Milk I thought was amazing. Milk makes me want to stand up and do something with my life. Neither of those movies changed my opinion about gay people. Which is, I just don't care. Gay is gay is gay is straight is straight. Like who you want just not little children or animals. I don't even mind people who love objects, while its weird it doesn't bother me. Its like the Louis CK bit, where he talks about that bitter angry guy who just wakes up and is eating breakfast all by himself and is just pissed that their are gay people in the world. Its not like they are right there touching dicks over his cereal bowl or anything.
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I'm seeing the reality in the USA shifting back the other way already, with the massive push of old people against gays - first against gay marriage, now big movement being made against civil unions, bills looking to make sure teachers don't have "sordid" backgrounds (IE gay teachers being singled out in Middle America and fired), massive firings of gays in the military due to conservative power mongers getting into things, the uptick in religion washing over everyone and creating new "GOD HATES FAGS" sign-carrying fucks, the Fox News crowd, militias, mindless conservative driven on every channel and on every airwave. Dude, the pendulum started to go left, and then the Right did what it always does - bought the difference and Raged.
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I don't think any movie is GOOD enough/important enough to actually cause any sort of amazing break through in a society. A certain tread in movies over a number of years maybe. But to me the only film that every can actually say that it had any real impact on someone's life (positively) is The Thin Blue Line. And that guy quickly went out and sued the film makers for money.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:35:18 AM CST
Pity Harvey Milk Is NOT the Hero the Movie Makes Him to Be
by thusspakespymunk
Read about his history, his relationships, and you'll find he was a very sordid, very seedy politician involved with a lot of, ahem, backdoor dealings. *cough*
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As I said above, the 35-49 demo is almost as conservative as the 65+ demo. Amazingly enough, they're _more_ conservative (in the area of gay rights and civil rights in general) than the 50-64 demo. Why? The 50-64 demo grew up during the civil rights era and Martin Luther King Jr. The 35-49 demo grew up during Reaganomics and the tidal wave of conservative bitching about welfare and social spending (most of which goes to minorities). The 65+ generation is, of course, just fucked in the head on civil rights in general.
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SOOO people who were young when Phildelphia came out. I don't think those people were like FUCK FAGS AND QUEERS then saw Brokeback and were like OHHH SNAP DAWG! GAYS BE PEOPLE TO! No they just grew up in a more accepting society and had a better understanding of it at a younger age then older people did.
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I don't know man. I gotta say, first off; the effects in JP look fucking great still. That T-Rex attack, i think; is still better than about 90% of any CGI sequence I've seen since. It doesn't hurt, either that Speil was smart enough to stage it at night (although that was in the book like that). As far as those old movies holding up, i think the ones with well told stories and great performances will always have an audience. It still all boils down to the fact that human beings need to be told stories and good ones, effects be dammned. And anyway, the best visual effect in a movie is usually a great performance. Those things always hold up.
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I dont think Brokeback was trying to make you love gay people, just show you the humanity that exists in all of us to love and be loved is IDENTICAL to people of the same sex. You aren't supposed to love it or cheer for it, just think of it like any other basic human truth. As for your lack of believing in the content of the film, I cant help you there. I love realistic meditative soul shakers that get to a deeper truth of reality by doing nothing more complex then being totally and utterly honest. It's actually my favorite kind of film. But as for being boring and cold, I dont think most people saw it that way as it was a huge critical and commercial success. It cracked a hundred million which is insane for a film of its ilk.
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...yes, the far right is VERY loud about their hate for gays. But that's all they can do: scream. Over 60% of the nation believes DADT should be over-turned, and gays allowed to serve openly in the military (I believe the exact number is 64%). Gay Marriage is, nationally, just barely under 50% support (right around the 48% mark). And, as I've said above, the 18-34 generation is swinging wildly in favor (something like nearly 70-30 in favor, particularly at the younger end of the scale). It's just a matter of time. The Crazy Right can scream all they want, but gay civil rights are going to be a national reality in the next fifteen years or so.
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Its a majority that people really don't give a shit about gays, that meaning they feel like they should be treated like everyone else. Maybe that's just my wacky liberal or whatever head. But I do see more and more swing to the conservative like Thus said. Its cool to be a good christian pop star these days? I think the problem is that the conservatives still hold the most power, mainly because its mainly the old ass people that vote.
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Guys, they're working on 50-state bans on civil unions for gays and bans on gays being able to adopt across the country. HOW are we progressed? There has recently been a new wave of gay-bashings. Recent articles in conservative journals have tried to rewrite the history of Matthew Shepard by painting him as an aggressive male harlot cock-grabber who "scared" the guys into killing him (the Gay Panic defense has been thrown out in court, but it is wholly accepted in the Conservative Republican movement).From WIKIPEDIA:Santa Clara County Deputy District Attorney (DDA) Jay Boyarsky attributed a surge in anti-gay hate crimes, from 3 in 2007 to 14 in 2008, to controversy over Proposition 8. However, the DDA cautioned against reading too much from small statistical samples, pointing out that the vast majority of hate incidents don't get referred to the DA's office. Republicans are fucking blaming Lawrence "Larry King" - a 15yo gay kid who was shot point-blank in the back of the head by a homophobe he'd given a Valentine to - for bringing the crime on himself. They've actually appeared in public saying this and are getting told they're right by their constituency. Holy shit, people. You really think things have gotten better? Murders are on the rise, violence against gays is skyrocketing, tripling yearly, and we've got people in Hollywood saying Sharia Law is awesome.
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Yeah, much of the night work in JP looks good, but the last time I watched the climactic fight between the T-Rex and the Raptors, I could see the fuzzy outline around the T-Rex, and how flat everything looked. It really bothered me. Not to mention that scientific evidence has expanded since then. The consensus now, I believe, is that Velociraptors had feathers. That really dates the movie for me.
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Dude any Oscar bait sort of movie like that, that the critics rally behind can easily turn made bank. Brokeback is just one of those movies that everyone sat around and told each other it was good and no one wanted to say anything against it. Don't believe me about the 100 million thing, look at Juno and that wasn't from the director of THE HULK!
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n August 2008, King's family filed a claim against E.O. Green Junior High School at Ventura County Superior Court, alleging that the school's allowing King to wear makeup and feminine clothing was a factor leading to his death.[21] According to the California Attorney General's Office, however, the school could not legally have stopped King from wearing girls' clothes because state law prevents gender discrimination.[2]
According to a Newsweek article published on July 19, 2008, some teachers at E.O. Green also allege that assistant principal Joy Epstein was "encouraging King's flamboyance to help further an 'agenda'".[2] When Epstein was later promoted to principal at another local public school, King's father described it as a "slap in the face of my family". The superintendent, Jerry Dannenberg, stated that the promotion was given because "she was the most qualified person for the new principal job".[2]
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Well once blu ray comes out on DVD, it will reopen their closed eyes!
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...yes, as I intimated, it's the last gasp of a dying, angry, hateful movement. It won't last.
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You sold me.
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"once blu ray comes out on DVD" Once BROKEBACK comes out on Blu Ray.
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Teachers also showed sympathy for (Brandon is the one who shot King) "We failed Brandon," a teacher said. "We didn't know the bullying was coming from the other side—Larry was pushing as hard as he could, because he liked the attention."[2]
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You really just can't sit back and watch a movie can you? Fuck I know aliens never arrived 20 years ago, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the shit out of District 9, which was by far the best movie of the year.
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Best movie going experience I had all decade, and I find it ironic that the most quintessentially masculine male character was Heath Ledger's gay cowboy. While all of our action heroes moped, cried, whined and complained from the last decade, he silently suffered and endured.
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You would be able to also if you were hittin that sweet Jillenhall ass!
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No, I can't. I used to, but not any more. I got tired of subtext flying over my head and actually started to _think_ about what I was seeing on the screen.
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You guys probably have VERY similar tastes in movies.
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I'll assume you're being sarcastic?
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Some times you just wanna see shit go BOOM!
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Does Jaws bore you because you know no shark would ever get that big? I mean you say Seven Samurai is the best film of all time. YET its been proven that it is forbidden by the ancient code of the samurai to ever travel in groups bigger then 4?
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It was fucking awful. Terrible character development, awful soundtrack, and the acting wasn't even that good. I never felt that any of the characters ever gave a shit about each other, and the lines they gave the kids were so grating. I've also realized that Natalie Portman is a terrible crier. She looks so stupid making the transition from not crying to crying. It's her eye-brows. I mean, she's one of our premiere beauties, but I think this movie showed me that's about all she has going for her and that maybe Lucas can't be blamed for her many glaring horrible scenes in the prequels.
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The right screams the loudest because, frankly they're drowning. It's like what Bill Clinton told the Democrats before they voted to push the health care bill through: "you have to be united. The Republicans are angry because we're winning". I'm paraphrasing, of course. But what about the older demographic? The 35-49? Yes, I know there's definately a conservative element among my peers but it's got to be like a 40-60 split in favor of not having your head up your ass. As for JP, yeah, I hear you on that end fight. It looked rushed. Like maybe it was a late edition, which I believe it was. But, besides that I think now it's believed that the T-Rex was a scavenger and not a hunter so much.
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WOW big surprise. Tobes and the cuter of the gyllenhaal brothers can't act. And Portman stopped acting once she turned 15.
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And I say that because anything that bashes Juno I just automatically agree with outright.
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... Rambo and Inglourious Basterds on my list. The cathartic violence at the end is tempered by the subtext of how horrific the violence actually is, and that we, as viewers watching and enjoying it, are no different than the people who committed the "bad" violence earlier in the film (or history, in the case of Basterds). I'd accept arguments that this isn't what Stallone was trying to convey, but I think that's clearly an implication of the violence in Inglourious Basterds. Anyway, this is the kind of subtext I enjoy, whether it's there by the Director's/Writer's intention or not. If I can't find something to analyze like this, the film is a waste of my time.
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Not at all. I'm watching it. Like I said, Angs' one I leave the door cracked open for.
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Was literate and was a big fan of William Blake and would usually recite lovely poems before eating someone.
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I wish J. D. Salinger was still alive to smack you in the face.
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And I would add for myself, a film should work on 3 varying levels of subtext. The social/cultural, narrative structure and the personal.
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Also thought District 9 was int eh top three of this year. I think Inglourious Basterds edges it out for me, but in a perfect world Sharlto Copley would be nominated for best actor. That performance was mind blowing in it's complexity. He's like the actor Steve Carell wishes he was.
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Crank 2 and Black Dynamite, which is just about pure visceral reaction? You guys didn't play a lot of sports growing up did you?
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I mean the filmmaker should be able to be telling some personal story of his own, interpreted through the films story. I believe that's the source of that ever elusive honesty in films you speak of.
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Not smug fucking the camera all day Cloondawg. God I bet he wins for that Up In the Air Shit. As for Inglourious Basterds fuck that movie. Naw just kidding, just never saw it. I'm sorry QT rambles ON and FUCKING on and FUCKING ON about trailers and give podcast and HISTORY lessons about trailers......then he allowed some terrible thing like that be the trailer for his so-called masterpiece? Fuck that noise. The trailers for all his other movies are amazing. The IG trailer is probably one of the worst trailers I've ever seen.
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I enjoyed Shoot Em Up as a movie that satirizes mindless action films. Can't say I've watched many mindless action films lately though.
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One of the top ten bottom movies of the decade for me. That movie failed at everything it was trying to do.
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Can't help it. I'm an active movie goer. Other people can be passive and enjoy the loud noises and flashing likes but I like a little nutrients with my calories. It can't all be just desert.
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Guys, this has been the best tb I've come across in a long time. Rhuragh, your knowledge of film is most impressive. Thanks for turning me on to Brokeback. Looking forward to seeing it. Series7, good rapping with you too man. Later.
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I did not like the trailer for Inglourious Basterds either. In fact, I considered skipping it after how much I disliked Grindhouse (and even the extended cut of Death Proof). Happily, I went to see it anyway, and found that it's Tarantino's best film since Jackie Brown (which I _LOVE_).
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If Ang Lee is your directorial shepherd of choice, the door ain't the only thing that's gonna be cracked open.
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no West Wing? come on now...that's the best dramatic TV series of all time.
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of Shoot'em Up and how utterly terrible it was. And how Clive Own and Paul Giamatti both looked like they were starring at their watches the whole time they were on screen. Its a pussy R that doesn't go deep enough, hard enough funny enough to be satire. It was a lame action movie. I actually feel asleep for a couple minutes when I saw this in theaters.
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That movie was ALL desert.
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I'm sorry, for all the dick sucking QT gives himself. For him to have allowed that shitty ass trailer is just unacceptable. I bet I will like IG, I even almost saw it a couple of times. Just that nagging thing in the back of my head thinking how QT was getting lazy, or got brow beat into WE'VE GOT TO FUCKING MAKE MONEY ON THIS! just bugged the shit out of me.
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Knew I was too drunk to be involved in this debate. Why did I listen to you Series?
Anyway, g'night. -
He'd never say that the trailer for IG was bad. AND I LIKE QT, I don't mind the guy. I don't care that he's cocky, but he's a shit talker and would never admit to pulling some BS. Unlike Kevin Smith who will admit to fucking up. That is why i will watch all of his films.
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I bet you got time before the sun comes up to hunt down a hooker to do some lines of coke off her ass. Good luck.
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in other movies. Same with dealing with familial death from war. Just a terrible, ridiculous movie. Gyllenhall actually wasn't that bad, neither was Maguire, it didn't seem like it was either of their faults the movie failed the way it did. It was more the script and the director.
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Yeah, I like Shoot Em Up for satirizing mindless action films, but it didn't make my list because it's just...obvious. To me anyway. Calling a piece of shit a piece of shit isn't revolutionary or particularly perceptive...it's just obvious. So, yes, I think Shoot Em Up was good satire, but I don't think it had anything particularly novel or insightful to say other than "stupid action films are stupid, okay?"
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I think we're headed for a serious - serious - dark age, esp. when you consider how close we came to Sarah Palin as Vice-President - a book-banner who doesn't believe in the existence of dinosaurs.
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I have a bias towards it that can't be helped. Plus, I think it is smart and very meta. With that goodnight.
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Yeah, I was still nominally conservative when The West Wing started, so I didn't watch it. It was too librul for me. Now that I'm quasi-socialist, I'd probably enjoy it. I guess that goes on my list too.
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It didn't do anything with it. While Crank 2 was like you think the shit you've seen was stupid and mindless before???? WELL CHECK THIS SHIT OUT! Plus it was just bad ass.
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The Hurt Locker was probably the best handling of PTSD I've ever seen. I didn't like Spiderman's ANGRY face in the trailer, it looked like a five year old in a toy story who's parents wouldn't buy him the newest Zhu Zhu addition.
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Although that wasn't entirely unexpected. Have there been _any_ good _fiction_ movies/series to come out of Hollywood about the Iraq war (there have been plenty of documentaries)? Also, yes, Portman sucks now. She had so much promise after Leon, and has continually pissed it away since then. Even Wong Kar-Wai couldn't do shit with her.
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Top five of the year. Right behind 1-4 which is all District 9.
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Whatever, all that shit's the same to me. I guess Three Kings then.
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I forsee see an unfunny IDIOCRACY. I forsee workaday people who can't think of their own names or their own phone numbers. I see people responding to questions without even hearing what they are (Consider how often you hear people out in the world who answer a question "What can I do for you?" by saying "Yes." What are they saying "Yes" to? Ntohing - they're just gabbing the 'yes' out because it's practiced, like an animal grunt. Consider people who answer a yes-no question not with yes or no but with "true" or "correct" when that's not even appropriate - they're not really engaged, but they exist behind their eyes just dimly drooling out words that they hope will get them from point 'a' to point 'b,' point 'b' being their usual grunting pleasures). I see a world where American doctors don't know how to practice medicine (thanks in no small part to phony institutions 'graduating' people who know plenty of verbak rhetoric and the addresses of pill-popping-encouraging lobbyists but who can't even put a suture together. Ask your doctor if he can stitch up an injury, and grill him on something you find in any medical book - if he can't tell you, at least consider that).I see a world where people are so deeply stupid that they don't know if they were even married or not in a given year (something I run into all the time because I often have to ask people if they were married as part of my job - I work as a clerk). Dude, people don' even know their own phone nubmers any more thanks to their Blackberries making them dependent on the phone's memory and not their own - so they're not even exercising that small amount of cell structure.Belief in God is where I see the culture going, and belief in science is declining as people become luddites, deploring every new invention, trivializing every new development, cutting funding of exploring Mars while pouring millions into Monster Truck rallies.I believe we are headed for the first reality show featuring human fatalities (for real) within 5 years. It'll be a touching dramatic reality show at first about dying with dignity ... but it won't be long before bloodsport returns.I see a world where kids are educated in things that will make them all feel good but no actual skills - tolerance classes, equality classes, etc. at the expense of science and reading.I see the Right crafting a charter school/homeschooling program that FINALLY gets them to where it's possible to make sure that only wealthy people have any educated children at all, which is the goal, of course.I see a world where kids can only write in textspeak, meaning we're one generation away from whole novels written in lolcat. I forsee a world where Sharia Law is impossed in parts of Britain (meaning the death penalty for gay people, btw, which is what sharia law preaches) and the US doing nothing about it. I see possibly spreading to the US, too, sadly, and again I see people not doing anything about it - as long as they get to keep their Ipods. Anyway, that's what I hope doesn't happen but zI suspect it will because of how fucking dim everyone is.
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...was great, but unfortunately it was based on the first Gulf War. I haven't seen anything come out about the second Gulf War that's been worth a damn. It looks like The Hurt Locker is based on the Iraq war. And I see it has some pretty good plaudits too. I'll have to check it out.
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Dec 05, 2009 3:37:49 AM CST
Im glad Im not the only one disappointed with Portman
by industrykiller!
She's gorgeous but when is the last time she pulled out a searingly honest performance. Well, I dunno there was Closer. That's debatable. Terrible at accents though.
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Afghanistan, if I remember correctly.
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"I believe we are headed for the first reality show featuring human fatalities (for real) within 5 years. It'll be a touching dramatic reality show at first about dying with dignity ... but it won't be long before bloodsport returns." This, I think, is frighteningly possible, though perhaps not that soon. And yes, I think you have the exact scenario down. Someone will die. It will be an accident. They'll air anyway as a "tribute" to their heroic sacrifice of being a completely insipid person on a completely insipid show.
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I thought Redacted was a pretty damn good film, which I think was about an incident from something in Iraq.
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PERHAPS! You haven't noticed my name, but its the name of an amazing movie about that reality show you want to see, and it was made in 2000. Actually you wanna see a list of my top ten of the decade check here: http://www.aintitbalenews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=601:top-10-5-baleievers&catid=7:latest-news&Itemid=2 or here for short http://tinyurl.com/y9qed6t I'm the guy who's first pick is District 9.
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I saw Closer in the theater and hated it for its cynicism. Haven't watched it since then, but I don't recall Portman being great in that either. She was simply ok. I need to rewatch it, particularly now that I like Clive Owen so much (Inside Man and CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN!!).
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With that Pirate Show, where some lawyer or lawyer assistant killed herself shortly after she was kicked off the show and blamed the show for why she did it. It was kind of sad, I saw the episode she got kicked off. They kicked her off because she was friends with this other guy they wanted to kick off but couldn't kick him off for some reason, so they kicked her off. The final shot of her talking about getting kicked off she was like, "I don't get it? Why did they kick me off? I was well liked?"
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Dude needs to just take a nap. That's what it seems like he wants to do in all his films. I liked him before he started showing up in movies, that being The BMW Driver series. So I should probably check out the movie Bent. ALSO doing children of Men then making a horrible action movie directly afterward that essentially has the same plot, fucking'orrible mate.
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I think that it's so close because I think you have an ENORMOUS audience just grinding their teeth to watch it one one side, and on the other side you've got a HUGE desirew on the part of networks to show it. The ONLY thing holding it back is a tiny minority who would be offended so badly they'd rebel, and laws in place that are preventing it. However, I think within five years they'll figure out that the general public, for the most part, DESPERATELY would love to watch violent live murders on tv and has absolutely no problem with it. "Meh," they'll say, "that death wasn't too memorable. Maybe the next one will be good." That is the level of horror I envision and what I see in the public.The recent movie GAMER failed, I think, in that it did not portray gamer culture in an accurate fashion. If I had been crafting the movie, I would have made sure to show a bunch of kids sitting boredly in posh houses controlling the bodies of the convicts and forcing them to chainsaw off their own testicles and "butt-raping' people by kneeling up and down on top of them a la HALO victory dances while their balls leak blood all over. That's the gamer culture, and I -honestly- think that that's the mentality of the average person in the world right now. I really do think that the vast majority of people are -that- horrible. I'm not. I'm a pacifist. And I can't abide vioelnce in the real world. But ... I think the majority hate horror, for instance, but would love to see arms flying off football players.I remember when UFC first started running on tv they ran ads about audienc reaction to the fights to try to drum up interest. One of the interviewed audience members stuck with me in sheer horror, a moustached guy in a trucker cap saying in a Southern accent "He got blood - blood - blood AWLLLLL over him, he got blood!" It was so frightening that this was used as a SELLING point to convince people to watch the show, and I quickly realized that was the model we were heading to. "Look." "Uh?" "BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!' "Uh." <-- typical future conversation in 5 years among people watching reality tv.
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You need to see Bill Burr: Why Do I Do This?. He goes over that whole scenario of just getting rid of the fucking nothing people. Its really funny.
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Awesome. District 9 gets a 9 in my list, which puts it in the top 46 movies of the decade for me (all of which are scored a 9 or 10, I'm not saying it's #46, simply that there are 45 other movies that score as well or better than it for me, if I had to rank it, it would probably be in the top 20). I'll have to check out that Series 7 movie. Sounds like it might be interesting.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ35XbW_n0YThis? :) AWESOME.
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Series 7 is even more interesting now since reality TV is like 60% of TV, back when it came out reality TV was still a relatively new thing.
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Yes, that's it. Nice.
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Is the people that goes to movie theaters and get to the front of the line and DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE? I can't believe people still role up to theaters (Outside of malls, I can understand going to a mall and being like, well lets check out a movie) and don't know what they want to see. That and they've waited in line the whole time to figure out what they want to see.
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Oh wow, I just looked through part of the rest of your column. You listed The Taste of Tea as a runner-up for Best Foreign picture! Awesome. I fell in love with the preview for one of the Director's recent films, My Darling of the Mountains, but haven't had a chance to see it yet. I've been meaning to find The Taste of Tea too, but haven't seen it around. It's so nice to talk to someone who enjoys those.
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"'"Uh, what kind of bread is that?" STOP MAKING THAT GUY!"'"Briliant. And I fucking HATE that guy.
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Its the only film in my mind that I can honestly say is just straight up pleasant. While its like a 2 hour plus film, I spent the first hour hating it! I thought it was boring pretentious and odd. When really is was setting up this odd Asian family as they are. You are just sort of a fly on the wall for the first half, then the story takes place and while there is a little drama, its not handled in a beat you over the head manner. What happens in very sad, and because I invested so much into this family I cried. But like I said its all handled extremely well. The point of the movie its this big drama, you are just getting to know this oddball family, they aren't like some weirdos just eccentric. I really like that movie. But you gotta have patients to get to the heart and soul of it.
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Dec 05, 2009 4:15:11 AM CST
Dude, their shitting all over my tank, what am I suppose to do?
by series7
Alright I'm off Thirst is fucking clawing at me for my attention and I really want to give it to him (her?). Peace guys.
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one of those movies that little kids of today are going to catch on cable one night when their parents are in the other room that will freak them out a little with it's graphic tone and they won't get the whole thing but will sense it's total honesty and be completely inspired and thrilled by the brilliant sci fi elements. They'll grow up with it and grow into it's theme while wanting to make movies like that when they get older. Much like Aliens and The Fly were for me. That's about teh highest compliment I can pay it. I used to love that feeling when you knew ou were watching something adult and weird but there was still that intangible....thing...that wouldn't allow you to look away and was completely exciting to feel.
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Try as I might, I cannot get past the limbo-bot in DISTRICT 9; that shot is in the trailers, and it's just so nonsensical, so out of place with the rest of the movie, so tonally inconistent it's like wtf?
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Paul Greengrass is decent but the united 93 film will be seen in 20 years as a sad relic historical artifact from the 8 paranoid years of george w bush
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Dec 05, 2009 4:54:51 AM CST
"We need to remember the heroic deeds in the early hours of 9/11
by awepittance
please fuck off
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is Iraq.
Generation Kill is very, very good, but may also be based off of First Gulf War embedded journalist embedded. -
United States Marine Corps' 1st Reconnaissance Battalion during the Iraq War's first phase in 2003--no ptsd stuff per se-it's recon transiting towards baghdad
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Dec 05, 2009 5:52:08 AM CST
"United States Marine Corps' 1st Reconnaissance Battalion during
by burnhollywood
Shooting civilians all the way...yeah, we heard THAT fucking horror story.
War crimes aren't anything to brag about, jarhead. -
Amazing how neglected Jap films are in your lists. Nobody Knows, Twilight Samurai. Check them out when you get a chance.
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...I'd say that as far as sister/daughter fucking non-porn movies go...it's easily in the top 5 within the last decade. At least. I'd also say it's heavily overrated. I watched it after reading all the hype on websites like this, and when it was done, I had the overwhelming feeling of "That's it????" If you search the annals of AICN talkbacks, somewhere out there I posted a rant about how AICN talkbackers are a deranged group of sisterfuckers for vehemently recommending this movie. I was under a different name back then, though....
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Yôji Yamada directed not only Twilight Samurai but two other Samurai films in the '00s. The Hidden Blade and Love and Honor. I actually like The Hidden Blade more than Twilight Samurai. Love and Honor is pretty good too, unfortunately Takuya Kimura isn't as good an actor as Masatoshi Nagase and Hiroyuki Sanada. Honestly, while watching a Yôji Yamada film, it feels like I might, just might, be watching something Kurosawa could have made.
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But some of the list I could give two shit about or never caught my attention span long enough.Ah, Mr.Beaks you truly are original. :p
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Dec 05, 2009 7:09:18 AM CST
Spymunk, so D9 did not satisfy you with it's
by turd_has_risen_from_the_grave
R-rated gore and nastiness? Does nothing make you happy?
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in Beak's top 25, I will spontaneously combust in anger.
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and would have made a terrible Bond. Discuss.
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Dude, you know a lot about film! Are you a student, in the industry, or just an uber geek? I will check out those other yamada films.
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I see what you're saying about UFC. My job is teaching self-defense, and it's amazing how DUMB people are getting because of it. I can't tell you how many people walk into our school and ask, "You guys do MMA?" I have to be the one to tell them, "There is no such 'art' as Mixed Martial Arts. If you take ANY two arts, then congratulations, you're a mixed martial artists." There is NO SUCH THING as an art called "MMA", it just means to take any TWO arts or MORE and make it your own blend. They always, ALWAYS look at me blankly and just walk out of the school, in search of a place that will lie to them and say, "Yes, we teach Mixed Martial Arts here, and you can get a black belt in it." (And, yes, they are of the personality type to crave blood, but typically refrain from spilling their own--these types are such babies when it comes to actually TRAINING. They just want to see someone ELSE'S blood spilled. It's pathetic.)
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Just an aspiring uber film geek. Haven't even studied film in college. I just read as much about film as I can, from all sorts of disparate sources, and watch everything I can get my hands on that might be thought-provoking in the slightest.
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...to put yourself on the chopping block like that in this monkey cage.I had sex a little later than was typical in my circle. The main reason was that I was a foolishly proud and dignified kid and I was smart enough to realize that sex is just about the least dignified activity a human body can perform (now I kind of like that part). That and I didn't really enjoy the activities that normally lead to sex (small talk, bars, clubbing, etc...).Anyway, one day I realized that as someone who enjoys a certain amount of order and routine I was slowly but surely structuring my life in such a way that would make human connection and sweet, dirty, grunting sex nearly impossible. You can't let that shell get too thick....unless you're happy. If you're happy then go right about your business...Respect.
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No F'n Way!?!I like these types of lists because it gives me new stuff to que up. You should've include a purchase or add to que link with each film!
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Goddammit, NO. There are enough articles on this site already that consist of little more than fucking referrer links to Amazon. In fact, there are so fucking many that they regularly disable comments on those threads now just to keep people like me from complaining about them.
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about younger generations, go onto websites like 4chan or play xbox live for a few hours and all you'll read/hear is "faggot, nigger, kike" etc etc and in case you think those are minorities remember that thousands and thousands of people visit 4chan and play xbox live (and as far as 4chan goes, I would say that AT LEAST 90 percent of the people who visit that site are hardcore racists, I'm dead serious) and with Obama making it more and more hip to be square (that is conservative) I just don't know about liberalism becoming the mainstream in America, unlike ThusSpakeSpymunk though I wouldn't blame gamers or gamer culture for anything (what are you ThusSpakeSpymunk? Jack Thompson? I kid, I kid)
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I'm only 20 years old and I still feel ashamed at being a virgin and having no girlfriend, of course more than societal pressure I'm also just really, really, really horny
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now that is a great documentary
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4chan'ers are mostly pretend racists. They do it for the lulz. XBros, however, are the scum of the Earth (I am a PC-gaming only snob, my snobbery knows no bounds).
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You've said a lot of stupid shit as long as I've known you were there, but I always chalked it up to a slightly odd/harsh way of looking at things. But to rip Brokeback Mountain, Oldboy, and Munich in the same talkback sets a new record for AICN bullshit. There is no way one person can hate all three of those movies. And then to compare the love story from Brokeback to Let the Right One In? WTF? That bitch victimized that little boy. That's love? (spoilers) She only saved him at the end 'cause she wanted to take that juice box with her. Good grief.
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Dec 05, 2009 10:48:37 AM CST
Have zero interest in watching Brokeback
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Have never seen it and never will. Live and let live is fine, but I still don't wanna see two dudes fuckin. You can wrap it up in any type of nice story you please, but it boils down to two dudes fuckin. If that floats yer boat okie doke, but not mine bubbie.
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I thought it was great. Whether or not it was totally accurate, I can not say, but I loved every frame of it.
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Both are losers.
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I can't even believe this self-indulgent tripe is on your list. And on top of that, you've got Munich all the way down at #55? I can't agree with this list AT ALL, Beaks.
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Gamers who spend every waking hour online and whose only interaction with humanity is via an online identity are pathetic losers who will turn into the fat cheese eating stereotyped shutin geeks every knows and loathes. Then they will evolve into the fat people from Wall-E. Racists are the second lowest form of life just above pedophhiles.
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Work has caught up with me, so I'll have to disappear for a week to deal with all the madness that comes with it. I've truly enjoyed the past couple of days reminiscing about good films and good talkbackers with all you fine folk. I may drop in to say a quick word, but it looks like I'll be really busy today until next sunday. So TTFN and godspeed.
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about you both as a person, and the sexual insecurities you seem so ripe in.
Brokeback Mountain is an incredible story about human relationships and the complexities they can and often do take. You'll notice that I said "human" relationships...you obviously don't qualify.
It also makes me wish you didn't love Munich...such an outstanding film doesn't need you and your hate among it's supporters. -
But let me sympathize. I'm in my early 20's and haven't even come close to having sex yet. I'm in that odd middle, where I'm not attractive enough to pull the really beautiful ones, but I know I'm better than having to have sex with uggos or chubbies. And even if I'm wrong about being halfway good looking, I'm still too picky to lower those standards.
On the other hand, even if I found someone like me, I'm a lot like Andy Stitzer. I respect women so much that I almost let them walk all over me.
But I'm happy. The only thing that bugs me is that I have friends comparable to myself who fell assbackwards without even trying into decent sex and good relationships. ^_^ -
The CGI in Jurassic Park looks dated and old? Sorry, the CGI in Jurassic Park still looks better than half the shit out there today, like Van Helsing.
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Then I got, uhhh, manhandled by an older woman.
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Dec 05, 2009 11:13:20 AM CST
Peter Franks your dickishness speaks volumes
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
I specifically said live and let live. I aint no homophobe. I just dont wanna see two dudes fuckin.
Just because I don't wanna watch a certain genre of movies does not make me a phobic. I don't like French new wave so does that make me a francophobe? Get off the fuckin float and realize that people can dislike something or some one and it aint because of a hatred it just because they dont like it. Some folks actually like watching a dude eat dog shit(Pink flamingos) so because I don't want to watch that movie does that make me a a hater of fat transvestites who eat dog shit Grow the fuck up or shut the fuck up. -
So many cliches packed into a single sentence. Ugh. Don't feed the trolls.
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Swing on my nuts. Hey was that a cliche? You Fuckin idiot. Someone has an opinion and expresses it and you have the right to disagree with them, but because you have a limited brain capacity for response your only comeback is: 'he's a troll'. Fuck off and cry asshole
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As long as those "two dues fucking" don't want to have the same rights, HUMAN RIGHTS, as you, right?
I can't believe I'm even wasting my time responding to your inane nonsense. Shouldn't you be running along back to the Drudge Report? -
Are you dense or just stupid? I aint opposed to gay rights, I just do not want to two dudes fucking on a screen or in person or in any setting. You think gays like watching hetero couples fuck? You think that every hetero who supports gay rights actually likes watching two men kiss and fuck they same way they like watching a man and a woman kiss and or fuck? If you do, I got a bridge and a swamp to sell you. You are one of those knee jerk assholes who automatically assume that just because someone does not like a certain aspect of someone or something they must be a hater of everything. Like if I could not stand Obamas politics I must therefore be a racist? Well I am a supporter of Obama but not all of his policies, and I a supporter of gays having the same rights as straights, so suck on that dickhead.
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Dec 05, 2009 11:37:50 AM CST
I just do not want to see two dudes fucking..
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Is what that line should have said. Can we get an edit button?
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Dec 05, 2009 11:50:32 AM CST
There's a Reason the Effects in JP Don't Look "Old"
by thusspakespymunk
It's because they used a mixture of CGI and practical effects. They built a giant fucking Tyrannosaur and had it knock things around onscreen. They mixed that with CGI. I, personally, despise CG because I can ALWAYS - ALWAYS - spot CGI and it's an instant dismissal, since I know how the effect is being done 100 percent of the time when it's CGI. And it ruins it every single time. It's like being instantly reminded it's just a movie. With practical effects, I can continue unabated unless the practical effects are reallllllllllly poorly conceived. Hell, PHANTASM was done with wires and puppetry half the time - techniques that would be ancient under any calendar - and I infinitely prefer them to CGI. I'd more easily believe a rod puppet than I would CGI. The rod puppet, at least, obeys physics.
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There's nothing stupid about it. I honestly find MUNICH to basically be an unnnecesary tirade AGAINST one of the few times the world say decent self-defense by the Jews. I find OLDBOY an overwrought and silly picture that is meant to be "extreme" but comes off poorly due to the typical lack of common sense displayed during the fight scenes (since I know quite a bit about the subject, not to toot my own horn). I find BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN offensive because (aside from the reaaaallly overdone acting) it's an ugly portrayal of gay love. You can just FEEL both men's discomfort as they make sure every kiss is a display of violence (*grab* *pull* *lips SMASH together*), every sequence of supposed lovemaking is prefaced by shoving and wrestling and violence, and their first tryst is pretty much a spot-on rape (he violently grabs the guy and basically has his way with him - the dude didn't really get a chance to even SAY yes, much less show it).I'd say of the three the least offensive is MUNICH (it didn't say OUTRIGHT that Jews should lie down and accept Palestinian butchery, thank goodness - only tacitly by stating that any effort at self-defense is wrong and evil), and the biggest offender is BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. It's not a "harsh or odd" way of looking at things, Cherry.Think about it this way - think of a love scene from, say, any action flick. How about the one in TERMINATOR? We get soft piano music as hands clasp and people press back into the mattress in ecstacy. We get shots of faces gasping in pleasure, tension making the bodies shake a little onscreen to indicate climax. Now, compare this with the "NNRAAGGGHHH!" angery sex of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Why are these two portrayals different? Why do we not even get ONE indication in BROKEBACK that their lovemaking was gentle, tender? Why do we not get to see them cuddling or spooning and talking about life and happiness and joy? Why do we not see them simply holding hands? Why do we not get to see them share a long, onscreen, passionate embrace? Why do we not get to see ANY indication for 2 hours that they love each other? Because the movie is trying to be "deep" about "two men who share the forbidden dance" but at the same time is TERRIFIED of going there. It can't do it for fear of making the audience go "EWWWWW!" As it is, you never see ANY shots of them making love and you've still got people here going "EWWW THIS MOVIE WAS SOOOOO GROSS" and all they did onscreen was shove each other and angry-kiss. Lee admitted, and so did the actors, in interviews, DEEP discomfort with the gay elements - which is all the movie IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT, but they couldn't handle what they had been assigned to do. Kind fo makes you wonder about accusations of Oscar-Baiting!And speaking of Oskar (ha. ha. ha.), I'll turn now to LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. I hear what you're saying about it, Cherry, and that is a view shared by many. To me, though, the point of the whole story is that Eli has gone through life using people, never connecting to anybody, never feeling any kinship in anyone, destroying lives (albiet terrible ones - Hakan is a worse monster than Eli could ever think to be, though the film only slightly suggests his pedophilic nature). Enter Oskar (ahem!) and suddenly the game changes for Eli. Eli suddenly has real feelings for a real person. Oskar isn't a juice box (first time I've ever heard that euphamism made on vampires, though, and it made me laugh!). He's the first person Eli has ever truly cared about since his vsmpire state began, which is why things will be different between them. To me, the essential growth of both characters is that Oskar gains Eli's strength when he is freed from the bullies and his old life, and Eli is freed from her insistence on remaining isolated from people. That's why the final scene, with Eli morse-coding that he's there for her, is so beautiful to me, a very delicate and tender and honest expression of love. He's not saying he's just there for her in that moment, but that he's there for her, PERIOD. And Eli can sleep. That to me is a deep expression of true love, telling someone "Hey, it's ok. Rest. I've got this." Oskar isn't going to become a new Hakan. I do suspect Eli will turn Oskar, but I also suspect they do love each other in a totally innocent fashion, which is WHY Eli has such a hard time with it, because Oskar awakens feelings in Eli that Eli either never had before or had dismissed in the past. Oskar's need is honest and that GETS THROUGH Eli's defenses. I don't think Eli is using Oskar. I think the relationship from Eli's POV goes from Eli thinking Oskar is amusing to the "Oh, shit!" realization that Eli actually CARES about Oskar. And despite being kids, their kissing scene is a billion times more real and gentle than the violent face-smashing of BROKEBACK, because when Eli and Oskar kiss in that scene it's very real and gentle and honest, because neither of the two kids were the typical American precocious pieces of shit we call Child Actors in the US (ugh). Seriously, that's the point to me, and it's a comparison I often make to people who know both flicks because they're both artistic, both about two guys being in love with each other, but one (the non-American one of course) portrays the love as being sweet and "Awwwwww!' and the other portrays the love as. "Ahm'a'gunna FUCK YOO!"
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Not a fan of THE FOUNTAIN. Aside from the fact that I believe the quest for eternal life to be the single most important goal of the human condition (which the movie dismisses, saying that it's far better to let your girlfriend die of cancer than to save her life - huh?) the movie wears its art house desires on its sleeve, filled with pretentious over-the-top visuals that serve no real purpose. WHY is he walking around in a magic bubble at the end? 'Cuz it's art house. It's not necessary to the story. The movie fills itself with big giant "art" scenes over and over and over, reminding me of nothing so much as the terrible WHAT DREAMS MAY COME in how desperately it tries to prove a "visual feast" while ignoring story, character, etc. It's "pretty" but it's empty and hollow. Try this: turn on THE FOUNTAIN and turn down the sound, and put on an electronica beat. There is nothing in that movie that you'll lose from axing every single line of dialogue and replacing it with nn-ts-nn-ts-nn-ts because that's all this movie is - a droning sequence of images that pile on one after another. One star.
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There aint a bigger supporter of Israel on AICN than me. I am also a Jew. But I don't get your view of Munich at all. I thought the movie did a great job showing that life is not just a black and white, tit for tat, kill for a kill. I have no idea if it is accurate, but I do know it showed that actions have consequences.
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The future bubble scenes weren't just some random Lynchian surreal wet dream, they are the ending of Izzi's book as written by Tom. She told him, as she was dying, that he would know how to finish the book, and he did. After coming to terms with her death, he wrote the last chapter as an embrace of death, of finding Xibalba and being reborn.
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...look like SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS.
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...look like SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS.
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and i pity the fools who think otherwise.
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I never could get how some people are "tough" enough to see people being tortured, killed, raped, murdered and even watch Genocide on film, but the thought or briefest image of two men playing hide the sausage is somehow too much.
My 70-year old dad, Korean war vet and retired construction worker, could watch Brokeback Mountain (and thought it was a good movie), so can anyone on this TB.
Shit. If you can sit through FIGHT CLUB, which truly has the most homosexual subtext ever and homoerotic images, you can watch BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. -
I'll grant you that the concept isn't exactly original, but I have a hard time believing that anything written by Cormac McCarthy could be bad.
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Dec 05, 2009 1:25:07 PM CST
It aint about being able to get through it, it is about wanting
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
See, the thing is there are just things I do not want to see. I aint a huge fan of movies like Hostel or Saw so I don't watch them. It aint about being able to get through them - I watched Saw and was unimpressed, - so I have no desire to see Saw 2-23. I have no desire to even make the attempt. Same goes with watching a movie about two dudes fuckin. I have no desire to see it, whether I could make it through watching or not, it does not interest me to even do so.
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Dec 05, 2009 1:35:03 PM CST
Yes, BurhHollywood, war crimes are not anything to brag about
by continentalop
But putting your life on the line, dedicating your life to a cause, or volunteering yourself to perform a service with little reward compared to the effort or danger, is very commendable. You might agree with what they are doing or why they are there, but the fact that they will get off their asses and than put them on the line is more than what most people here will ever do. What cause have you ever fought for or risked dying for?
(And the number of crimes committed by US soldiers is still low, despite Chaney's best efforts. Despite many peoples attempts to paint the US military into this evil entity, it still has rules and regulations based on moral and ethical standing. Considering the scenarios those guys find themselves in, I am sure they act much more morally than 95% of the tbers here would if they were thrusted into dangerous settings.)
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...I got so drunk last night my brain started regurgitating old Mother Jones articles at random.
Alcoholism is a neverending adventure, but sobriety is for squares... -
So about a movie with two girls fuckin'? Or a black guy and white girl? Or a White guy or Asian chick? Or a Jew and an Arab?
Like you said, each there own, but that seems like a pretty weenie excuse not to watch a movies that many consider one of the best in the decade. I can't see how one thing (guy sex) is so all powerful that it ruins movie. -
according to IMDB, so I would expect Beaks will remember Magnolia. Cruise's "Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it!" speech is right up there with Baldwin's Glengarry speech. Hate on Cruise if you will, but you gotta admit he nailed that performance ("Yea, he played an asshole, it was typecasting.." I can see it now).
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I used an example about pink flamingos earlier. I have no desire to watch a movie about a fat tranny eating dog shit. Pink flamingos might be a great movie otherwise, but I will never know. Same with Brokeback. I don't want to watch two dudes fuckin. So I will never know if it is a great movie otherwise. I'm good wit dat.
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Alcohol was the reason the phrase "I'm sorry" was invented. That is why I have it memorized in a dozen languages where alcohol is served.
Lo siento. Das tut mir Leid. Desole. (and of course, Klingon: Grk-lagAaargh) -
One scene, and some hugging. A little kissing. That's it.
The bulk of the movie is about hearts torn asunder because of forbidden love denied.
There are wonderful booby shots of Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams but they'd be wasted on you anyway, so please don't bother watching it. We'd rather read your ignorant homophobic rants than see your attempt at informed film critique. That would be painful. -
Please, just stop speaking. You're a giant walking, mouth-breathing cliche. Just stop. Please. I'm begging you.
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YOU HAVENT SEEN AVATARD YET THAT COULD EASILY COMPETE WITH TRANSFORMERS 2 FOR THE TOP SPOT
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...it was in Manhattan after it got a bunch of nominations, so a lot of Oscar devotees came to see what all the hub-bub was about, and the theater was full of elderlies. I was sitting near the back and when Heath and Jake started going at it in the tent, the audience was visibly uncomfortable. So much so that I wanted to burst out laughing because it became clear to me that a lot of those old folks thought that Brokeback was some sort of modern epic western. Then, after they come out of the tent, Heath says to Jake, "This was just a one time thing, 'cause I ain't no faggot," and one old guy burst out laughing, like, "Bwahahahahahhahaha!!!" It was hilarious.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:15:25 PM CST
There were hardly any Jews left in Germany after WWII
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
But that does not stop nazi loving pricks like you BNB (BringingNaziBack) from hating Jews. Fuck you, you Jew-hating nazi. If I do not want to watch a movie with 'hardly any gay sex' I wont. But I damn sure wont be lectured by a fuckwad anti-jew asshole motherfucker like you! So kiss my fucking ass! You may have some other people fooled that you are just a 'funny' guy, but I have read your hate filled posts against Jews you motherfucker.
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Someone mentione Wicker Man as one of the cult films, as in what the fuck were they thinking, of the past decade. Just watched the trailer for Death At A Funeral, the remake, reworked for Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan, etc. and saw it was directed by Neil Labute. It looks to practically a shot-by-shot remake of Frank Oz's movie of what?, a year and a half ago? Peter Dinklage even reprises his role as the surprise guest, and James Masden tries to duplicate what Alan Tyduk (sp) did so brilliantly in the original. Its fucking amazing. A remake of a comedy less than two years old, directed by Neil Labute. Fucking amazing.
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Swing on my nuts! And learn the FUCKING definition of cliche!
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...you sure to like asking other men to touch your nuts.
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...of your name. You're asking a big burly basketball player to felch you. In your screen name. Yeah, you're not closeted. Much.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:21:20 PM CST
Could it be I hate Kobe and am parroting Shaqs rap?
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Nah, that would be too simple for a dickhead like you to understand.
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Memento....that movie is all sorts of awsome...It also makes me want Carrie Ann Moss even more than I did in the Matrix
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Really, you smell like a rancid pussy. Oh yeah, swing on my nuts.
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I've watched plenty of Jews kissing and fucking and it doesn't bother me one bit.
But looks like your thin skin sensitivities don't apply to gays, you hypocrite. Ordinarily I nor anyone could give a shit what you think, but your polluting this talkback is annoying. More so than usual. -
Not only does that look fucking awful, but already with the obvious racial jokes. "You got Jackie Chan in the coffin!" Right cause he's asian, he's jackie chan. Hilarious. Labute has become a fucking joke.
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If this isn't in Beaks Top 50 I will be sorely (possibly solely) disappointed.And now, let my evisceration commence...
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Haha
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Dec 05, 2009 2:32:15 PM CST
"The bulk of the movie is about hearts torn asunder because of f
by jonah echo
Are you talking about Underworld?
Brokeback was a decent movie with terrific cinematography, score, acting, etc. In the end, though, I think its a bit overrated.
I actually agree with the Hero placement. Put it on my own list (best asian movies of the decade) last week, to much derision.
From my perspective Im mostly happen to see several of these mentioned. Its hard to have any vindication in the placement, since it's one opinion and as soon as you are happy to see 'The Fountain' you notice 'Superbad' in front of it.
But its nice to have a trip down through the decade with this stuff. So, as for the lists, bring them on.
Heres the link to the 15 Best Asian films of the Decade:
http://tiny.cc/Vbaze
by the way, hey kobe...hows it going?
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Several other posters here, myself included, have listed Spirited Away as one of the top ten films of the decade. You are not alone in your opinion of the film.
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What happened to him? Im thinking it started with The Wicker Man, but likely it was before that... Did he do that one Possession with Jeremy Northam? Maybe that was beginning.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:35:36 PM CST
Aint that the pot calling kettle black BringingNaziBack
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Annoying? Really, from a guy who does nothing but pollute every TB on the entire fucking site wish useless prattling. Kiss my motherfucking ass you Jew hating bastard. I don't give a sweet shit what the fuck you think. I have no problem with gays, I just do not want to see how they have sex. But you have a huge problem with Jews and want to see them dead. Fuck you!
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Ive got a best animated list coming over at Cinematropolis next week. Spirited Away is probably gonna be near the top. Its a terrific film and I gotta say it just keeps getting better with time.
On a positive note, I saw Princess and the Frog today and was suprised at how much I liked it. Nice to see Disney rocking the 2D again, minus copious fart jokes. -
Good to know. Well Beaks, what say you? Or was it a toss up between SA and Employee of the Month?
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Dec 05, 2009 2:41:42 PM CST
NO YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GAYS, HOMOPHOBEKOBE
by bringingsexyback
You just spent a talkback bashing not only a gay-themed film, but a great film regardless, that you haven't even seen. For what? For our amusement? Newsflash - you are not amusing.
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As usual, I look forward to said list, and anticipate your review of TPATF. Cheers
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Dec 05, 2009 2:45:15 PM CST
DOESN'T SURPRISE ME YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN HYPOCRISY
by bringingsexyback
in saying things about gay people that you would otherwise find offensive if the same were said about your own kind.
Obviously you think yourself better than gay people. Obviously your mother over-inflated your ego. -
Did you know that ZOOEY is going to host SNL on Feb.27th?
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The worst kind of hypocrite.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:48:33 PM CST
MORBS - I DID NOT AND AM MOST THANKFUL FOR THAT HEADS UP
by bringingsexyback
Truly this decade belongs to Zooey.
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That's a pretty interesting list. It's certainly added a few films onto my list of films to see. I have several on my list already. Twilight Samurai, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring, Old Boy, In the Mood for Love, Red Cliff, The Host, Kung Fu Hustle, Hero, and Battle Royale. All of those have been mentioned between this TB and the last one. As far as the rest of those films go, I'd only heard of Cafe Lumiere and Last Life in the Universe previously. Both have been on my list to see for quite a while. Devils on the Doorstep and The Clone Returns Home are new to me, and both look _very_ intriguing. Can you add anything about them not included in the article blurbs?
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Sorry, that's not exactly clear. I have several of those films on my best films of the decade list (and then the big list of films). Bleh.
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Dec 05, 2009 2:52:57 PM CST
BringingNaziBack - You Jew Hater and Retard
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Use the fucking skills you got from reading Mein Kampf and read what I actually said. I did not bash the movie I have not even seen it. I said I have no desire to see two men fucking in Brokeback like I have no desire to see people tortured in Hostel or a tranny eat dog shit in pink flamingos. They may all be great movies, but I don't care. I also said I support gay rights. You on the other hand are a hezbollah loving, anti-Jew who does not even try to hide the fact that you hate Jews. Once again, fuck you and all you stand for you Jew hating motherfucker. Don't ever fucking lecture me about hatred when you hate my entire race you Jew hating piece of shit. I don't hate gays. I hope and wish they have every right that I have. I just do not want to watch them having sex. But you wish that Jews were dead. Fuck you!
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as a completely terrestrial scavenger. The only large vertebrate animals that scavenge exclusively are fliers, like condors, that can get up in the air and see for miles around the horizon.
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learn the word 'spoilers'. gosh, u could tell when there was a cg t-rex on the screen in jp? r u sure? i heard they rented one from pets-r-us. sighed: your friend
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been reading through this talkback and seeing many attack that one person saying they didnt wanna see two guys going at it and i dont get it. they are homophobes because they dont want to watch it? what if instead of two gay men, the story was about two 75yr old people, i'm sure many if not most people dont wanna watch two seniors going at it, does that mean they hate the elderly? no they just dont wanna see it period. if homosexuality wasn't so taboo or whatever and was considered normal to everyone then nobody would care about that person saying they dont wanna watch it. but because gays are a minority everything has to be eggshells, even honest opinions that have no basis in hate like they made. i sure as hell don't wanna watch men makeout either course that's not even the reason i've never seen Brokeback and never will. i just dont care about dramas.
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Dec 05, 2009 3:00:47 PM CST
OKAY. SO YOU'RE COMPARING GAY SEX TO TORTURE AND DISMEMBERMENT?
by bringingsexyback
You are a decrepit ugly excuse for a human being. And that's being polite.
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Glad to know some people actually read and show reason.
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So am I comparing gay sex to french fries now? You know you have fucked up and are now trying to fall back on 'ok I'll tell a joke to try and wiggle out from looking like a total retard' Too late bubbie. And once again you Jew hating motherfucker, never lecture me on morals or hatred. You hate my entire race you piece of shit. Fuck you!
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I can think of 200 films better than OLD BOY. Fuck you.
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Clone is a really lovely, thought-provoking science fiction film that does feel alot like Tarkovsky. An astronaut has himself cloned, and when he dies, the clone is activated. The clone starts looking for the place he grew up, and in an odd series of events, actually finds the body of his original self, still in the astronaut suit, so he grabs it and takes it back home with him. From there, the movie only gets stranger. You should check it out. Based on the ones you said you loved, I think yuo will dig this too.
Devils really feels like older cinema. It's been made like a comedy, with this town of quirky nuts holding these two prisoners and trying to decide what to do with them. Very humanist and very joyful for most of the time, the movie does a good job of avoiding caricature or cliche. But, it's also very honest and brutal. The ending will totally destroy you. -
I commented this on Jarv's list, but have you seen any Iranian films. Lot of good films came out of Iran this decade (most of them banned by the Theocrats). Just curious if you have see any, and wondering if you've got like a middle-east best of list (Valley of the Wolf would be on the worst of list).
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It's the only thing propping up your hypocrisy.
And you wish I were joking. But nobody is joking in pointing out your homophobia and prejudice. And the blatant hypocrisy behind it.
You lob insults at Rhuragh. Why? Because he spoke the truth, that's why.
Whereas Bouncy made a reasonable statement, you had to go ahead and compare homosexuality to torture porn. That's all on you.
And I'll lecture you anytime I feel like it, because anytime you post your stupidity is crying out for a spanking. -
Let that statement always be synonymous with that name and let us never forget to not take him seriously.
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question over at my site.
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Until you mentioned Tarkovsky. Can't stand his films. While I liked some of his imagery in The Mirror to be interesting, I find his films overall to be boring and academic. To me, film and cinema is first and far most a narrative device, but I find Tarkovsky to be a horrible story-teller (much like Goddard & Bergman).
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Clone 'sounds' interesting, where might it be found? The Blockbuster near me has closed, and no Netflix for me. Online perhaps? Thanx
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he just tells them like your half-blind, wheezy, easily distracted grandfather with Alzheimers would tell them (early apologies to anyone whose grandfather has any of that)...very, very, slowly, with lost of stopovers in stream of consciousness land.
Conti, Clones is like Tarkovsky in what it sets out to do, and the imagery, and the theme--in this case identity, humanity, what happens to people dealing with the loss of a loved one, or what happens when confronted again with someone they lost. Clone, for my money, 'fixes' Tarkovsky's narrative problems by finding some original and really thoughtful things to do with the storyline. CRH is the kind of movie alot of people wished Tarkovsky made. Me, I love him, but if you don't, there's absolutely no reason to think you would also dislike Clones.
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Yeah, my list would be vastly different than yours. Still to this day do not understand the slobbering over Wall-E. It's the worst of Pixar's movies--that's right, it's worse than Cars.
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Attack of the Clones, I will be happy.
Will have to put that on my must see pile. -
I haven't yet checked, but it might be available via one of the asian dvd retailers.
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No, it's..."Pearl Harbor sucked, and so do you...." signed: your friend
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anybody remember thta old AICN .gif that had Harry and Moriarity eating each other out in a 69? I still get nightmares about that one!
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I have the two DVDs. The second oen came out around the time of ROTS, and the first volume came out some months before that.
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Dec 05, 2009 4:25:51 PM CST
Rhugargh, have you ever been to the New York Asian Film Festival
by chakraborty
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Anyway.
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All is forgiven.
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Dec 05, 2009 4:37:39 PM CST
While I'm not exactly thrilled about watching dudes kiss 'n' cud
by nasty in the pasty
...the people who get REALLY worked up and disgusted by the idea of men being intimate with each other can't help but seem like they're compensating for something. Like, "I'm SO STRAIGHT I can't even THINK about two dudes going at it, or else I'll be SO GAY." And the Brokeback "sex" scenes are almost ludicrously chaste. We never see someone's dick, there's no penetration...aside from the first sexual encounter in the tent (which is NOT RAPE, just two guys fumbling with a sexuality that society has deemed immoral, thus they're REALLY clumsy at it), there's like, ONE kissing scene in the movie after that. Jesus, anyone who would pass up this beautiful and affecting tale just because there's barely two minutes' worth of man-on-man action is closet homophobe.But hey, two CHICKS making out...now THAT'S AWESOME!!!
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Tarkovsky's "Clones" is not the same thing as Tartakovsky's animated "Clone Wars". But good laugh either way!
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Its "The Clone Returns Home", not "Clones", and its not made by Tarkovsy, but is very Tarkovsy-eque.
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I understand that most people hate it. But I've also noticed people misinterpreting it. The "magic-bubble" is a spaceship. Aronofsky designed it that way because he felt the whole "trucks in space" has been done a billion times already. And no, the bubble ship part is not the end of the Izzy's book as written by Jackman's character. It is actually happening, though many many years later, hence the hundreds of ring tattoos all over his body and the pen he was given by Izzy is now ancient. One ring for every year he's lived without her. Right after she died he discovered the key to eternal life within that root from the amazon (which is the terrible irony of it all). He plants that tree over Izzy's grave and obviously continues living until something like 300 years later when he has launched himself towards Xibalba. See, Tommy has refused to accept death, and has taken Izzy's comments about Xibalba quite literally. Hoping to get her there so he can be with her forever. It's not until he's almost there that the tree begins to die and he finally accepts death. He then willingly leaves the bubble ship and explodes out into star-dust.
I know that was greatly paraphrased and pretty jumbled, but if you watch the film again you'll see many clues pointing towards this understanding. If that ain't your thing though, no biggie. -
Fan geeks only "claim" to like it because the average person has never heard of it..."ohh look at me, I enjoy things that you are unfamiliar with. Therefore I covey the appearance of being unique and mysterious instead of an anti-social 37 year old virgin"
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Dec 05, 2009 5:02:40 PM CST
JettLs got a new schtick. I guess he's upset everyones over him.
by dvader
Whereas he once claimed to be in the know, or be working behind the scenes of every blockbuster known to man, now he enjoys insulting everyone else's tastes and continuing to not really add much to the conversation.
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Dec 05, 2009 5:06:22 PM CST
OldBoy is coveted as the representative of good Asian films
by chakraborty
Old Boy is like the Al Sharpton of Asian films, but like Al Sharpton, Old Boy really isn't very qualified to represent the genre, and is nowhere near the best it has to offer.
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Dec 05, 2009 5:30:27 PM CST
If Oldboy represents Asians why didn't they call it "Bad Driver"
by jettl93
Ammirite?
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Dec 05, 2009 5:42:11 PM CST
Jett, if that's how you feel, why are you using a screenname....
by chakraborty
...of an Asian?
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is a pathetic excuse for a Jew. "Munich" showed Jews as men of conscience, no longer victims, but men of courage and ideals, fighting against an often elusive enemy. Avner and his men believed in what they were doing, but like all good men they had doubts about taking the lives of others. They also carried the very real angst of participating in a cycle of violence that had consumed a better part of a century. Spielberg understood this, and used it to illustrate the moral pitfalls we, as a society, face in dealing with the threat of terrorism. Of course, Avner and company never resorted to torturing anyone. In any case, politics aside, "Munich" remains a crackerjack thriller of the first order, which will sit proudly by the likes of "The Parallex View" and "The Day of the Jackal". And Eric Bana should have won a fucking Academy Award. And Daniel Craig was a memorable bad motherfucker.
ThusSpakeSpymunk, as per your characterization of "Brokeback Mountain"...it's just you and Gene Shalit and maybe Pat Robertson. Your inability to differentiate between agressive displays of passion and predatory behavior is quite troubling.
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Can you even imagine? "Obi-Wan is holding me back" screams Anakin. Walks outside and watches the moisturizers leak coolant for 30 minutes straight while an avant garde Jawa band plays riffs on Thelonious Monk in the background.
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But I thought you wrote "Old Boy".
Ah, just kidding, old bean, I have no quarrel with you. -
Well, this is a conversation and an argument thats been going since the film debuted, but I mostly agree with your thoughts Umpire, save for the bit about the last part actually happening.
Certainly, it could be. The movie allows for that. You are right, that isn't the end of Izzy's book as written by Jackman. The conquistador finding and drinking from the tree is the actual ending of Izzy's book. The moment the guardian of the tree looks up and sees Future Tom, that's where Jackman takes over.
But, it seems like Tommy finishes Izzy's book and lets her go in the present day, realizes his mistake and moves on. The final sequence is a kind of dream, fantastical rendering of the mindspace/emotional limbo that Tom finds himself in after Izzy's death. It works for me better as a metaphor. However, there's certainly room to see it as the literal rendering of events. -
HOLLER!
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Dec 05, 2009 6:48:05 PM CST
BringingNaziBack you anti-semitic asszipper
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Show one time just once where I am anti-gay. I said I have no interest in seeing two dudes fucking. And I don't. I am sure gays have no interest in seeing straights fucking either - does that make them anti-straight? If you doubt me, ask yourself, I am sure you can't stand the thought of straight sex. But does that make you a straight hater? No. Just means you are gay and like your own way. As for rhurgh, the first thing he typed to me was that I was a troll. So fuck that nut swinger. If he can't bother to read, I aint gonna attempt to be nice and educate him. As for your dumbass and truly pathetic grade school level attempt at associating my lack of interest in watching the male on male copulation act with my distaste of movies like Hostel and Pink flamingos that celebrate torture porn and dog shit eating, go fuck yourself. There are people who actually like watching old women get fucked, but I have no interest in it, so does that make me a granma sex hater? Once again, fuck you and the grade school you dropped out of. You on the other hand, are a noted anti-semite. Your posts praising hezbollah and other terrorists groups are all over AICN. You cant hide from your history you Jew-hating motherfucker. You are the worst fucker I have ever encountered on AICN. I may dislike some other assholes, but you are the only one I truly hate. You Jew-hating son of a bitch. Swing on my low hanging nuts, you stinkin Jew-hating son of a bitch.
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Learn how to fucking read you dick. I loved Munich. I said it showed how actions have consequences and that it is not just a kill for a kill. But that those men paid a price for doing what they did. Why don't you fucking read before throwing up your uninformed stupid shit.
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It was ok. Nothing major. An interesting take on Vampirism, also the whole losing my religion theme I liked. Let the Right One in was just better. It was well done, I liked the camera work a lot. I kind of agree with what Harry said about it, that its the film where you can see the director knows what the fuck he's doing.
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Best MONEY SHOT EVER!
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Tree-cum is not appetizing.
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Huh yeah, best money shot no one saw.
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...after perusing some of the comments above I can't wait to see it again at home.
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...have been knocking me out recently. I was OK with the idea of not existing anymore after death...until my daughter was born. For a while there the idea of her not existing anymore some day (even if it's a century from now and I'm long gone) seemed completely unacceptable...I was having a vicarious existential crisis.A couple years have gone by and the whole business is less intense now, but movies like THE FOUNTAIN and SUNSHINE are still pretty emotionally charged...
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...BANG, BANG,...two posts to the head. Take that motherfucker...
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if its all true, you wont exist so there's nothing to be done and you wont care or be bothered because you won't exist. i mean its better to have existed then stopped then to just have always been fictional like jesus or something. that dude had this huge following and he's not even real, micheal jackson would be jealous.
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What, no KISS KISS before the BANG BANG?
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Dec 05, 2009 8:58:33 PM CST
...I wasn't too worked up about not existing before I was...
by flickapoo
...born, I don't imagine I will be too bothered by it after I'm dead.
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...don't just blindly bow down at the altar of Old Boy because of all the geek love it gets. I really just didn't enjoy it all that much.
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Dec 05, 2009 9:56:07 PM CST
So I was looking through the movie collection today
by hawaiian organ donor
And you know what film from the decade I and everyone else has failed to mention?BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEADGreat FUCKING movie. How did I overlook that one?! Jesus.I'm also glad someone up there mentioned The Hidden Blade. That one may in fact be better than The Twilight Samurai.Got bored and watched both Kill Bills today. Yup, still holds up to me. Still solid.Also watched Serendipity. Christ I'm a sap for John Cusack as a romantic lead. And Kate Beckinsale has never looked cuter. Gawd I want that pussy juice waxed across my face.
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...for all The Fountain love. I really dig Aronofsky's films, other than that one. I just don't believe that one achieved what it set out to do. The story is convoluted and confusing - the execution of said story is PAAAAAINFULLY slow.
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Unless you're reincarnated as somebodies freakin' tree. Then you might be a bit bothered by the whole thing.
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I really loved Oldboy but I have no problem with people who think it's overrated simply because I really don't think it's the pinnacle of Asian cinema. And what's worse is it's not even the best movie in the vengeance trilogy.
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Why did Tiger crash into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn't decide
between a wood and an iron. -
We can only hope, and that goes triple for the folks who believe in an afterlife, that we don't exist forever. I can't imagine living for an eternity. I've been here 30+ years and they have SUCKED. BALLS. Gah, I can't imagine an eternity of this.No sir, when my time is up, please, make that it. Give me the old permanent dirt nap and may my daughter do more with her life than I'll ever do with the worthless meaningless one I lived.
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...because I don't HATE it either (unlike The Fountain). It's just that there is such a geek circle-jerk about that one. Where people like Harry (sorry big guy) say things like, "I don't think there are 54 better films than Oldboy this decade". It always made me wonder if I was just missing something. But enough people have said things similar to the way I feel in a sane enough manner in this talkback to finally put me at ease.
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...you've probably got another 60 to quote/unquote do something meaningful with it. However, living every day is meaningful. Waking up and choosing to keep going is meaningful. Your daughter, no doubt, is meaningful to you. To quote the cheesy quote machine - life is what you make of it. Shit, just the movies, books and comic books I've had the pleasure of enjoying in my time on this rock are meaningful to me. These last two talkbacks, well - 75% of them anyway, have been meaningful to me. And I'm serious about that. I've really enjoyed geekin' out with y'all.
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I just checked IMDb and I expected there to be more that I really loved. Not sure I could put any of that in my own personal 100. Maybe High Fidelity... maybe. For some reason I can't remember Serendipity, but I know I've seen it.
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Grosse Pointe Blank'nuff said
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I love the competing interpretations for the ending of The Fountain. After absolutely despising Requiem for a Dream and Pi, I didn't expect to enjoy Aronofsky's work at all. Luckily, I kept watching and got TWO wonderful movies in the bargain: The Fountain and The Wrestler. I WISH I lived in NYC such that I could go to film festivals like that. I've spent this decade living in Tennessee, Kentucky, and Georgia. *sigh* Most of the foreign films I get are either downloads via newsgroups/torrents, imports from YesAsia or Sensasian, or finally, I've caught a few films in art-house screenings when local theaters have actually showed these kinds of films. Mostly, I find out about these films online, through blogs, sites like this, critics, awards festivals nominee listings, and following directors and actors on IMDB who have done work I've enjoyed in the past.
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Jonah has a movie site called Cinematropilis. If you'd like to read more of his reviews follow this linkhttp://cinematropolis.wordpress.com/9remove spaces)Over there he's known as Bartelby.
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Yeah, I already bookmarked it after reading his top 15 Asian films of the decade linked above. Really like what I've seen so far.
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...but just imagine an afterlife like the one in WHAT DREAMS MAY COME...an eternity trapped in your own mind and imagination...can you conceive of anything worse? I can't.Fucking hell.
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Regarding the books, I mistakenly wrote above that the novel "The Letter of Marque" takes place mostly on land. I meant the "Reverse of the Medal" in which Aubrey is framed and convicted for fraud. It is actually the follow-up to "The Far Side of the World."
I will congratulate anyone who has read this entire talk back. Bravo. -
I'd like to pose a challenge to you. I'd like you to see BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, even though I am not a fan of that movie. In exchange, I'll watch any legitimate movie you suggest to me. I have hit upon this idea I'm working on where people on the Talkbacks, instead of fighting, exchange knowledge. I want to expand your horizons, and I want to expand mine. I'd also suggest watching LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, too. Will you take me up on this offer and throw one or two movie suggestions my way? I think this would be an interesting experiment. I'm being sincere. Wjhat do you say? Or you can email me at spymunk@gmail.com? Cool!
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...but I just re-watched Garden State, and it would absolutely make my PERSONAL favorite 100 of the last decade. I wouldn't have a lot of argument for the hate. It's just one that touches me personally. Very much like Royal Tenenbaums in that way. I guess I dig movies about loss and it's affect on people. Which, I guess, makes my hatred of The Fountain even more perplexing.As an aside, based on everything I've studied (which is a vast amount), we're worm food when we pass. Anything belief to the contrary is simply based on our fear of death and the unknown, be it conscious or subconscious. Now that sounds cold, but to me that's just all the more reason to love every minute of the time we have all the more.
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Glad to see that one on there. The new underrated Cohen Brothers film. I love it because to me, it was about how all of this new technology has made stupid people dangerous. They're all linked now, through texting, twittering, internet dating sites... We live in this society surrounded by all these wonderful gadgets and kilobites of data to do all sorts of things with and all it's really done so far is link all the morons together. It's like if the Borg were complete fucking idiots but still came bumbling toward you anyway. That movie really captured that. I can definately relate to John Malkovich's rant at the end there.
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I was with you until the last post. see.. Gay people do like to watch straight sex scenes. At least I do. I think most do. So when people are so grossed out...gotta wonder.
But... I don't think Brokeback is super awesome. Am torn, because although perhaps overrated by people wanting to show how gay friendly they are, Brokeback was was better than Crash, making one think that Hollywood couldn't abide the idea of giving a gay movie Best Picture...this in a town chock full o'homos.
100 is a lot of movies, too hard to rank but Wall-E seems very low ranked. Below, um, Superbad?
All of us loved Master and Commander as well. Must be a geek secret favorit.
Split opinions on OldBoy. My friends love it but I think it's boring. And I am a fan of Asian Cinema. Ninja Scroll would be in my top 10 of the decade, also Memento. -
would suck pretty bad...
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Love the color tones in that. It really ties into the characters psychological state.
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Minimum. But I feel what you're sayin'.
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...especially if you were a tree.
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..is SO good that it will forever overshadow Burn After Reading. I do dig Burn, but not even close to the same amount of love I feel for No Country. That's certainly something that's happened to the Coen Brothers at other points in their career, as well.
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but i just think they're two different animals. One's the kickass drama, the other the social satire comedy. It's like Jurassic Park and Schindlers List. One, by design; packs a real emotional wallop. And the other is going for something different.
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Fargo, Raising Arizona, Miller's Crossing...amazing classics.
No Country is good but not as good as those three. Maybe on a level with their first movie Blood Simple.
Burn After Reading one of their fun, albeit lesser, efforts. -
But I never had the slightest idea that your description was the plot of the movie. I am going to now go watch that yet again.
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ya know some people theorize that the afterlife really is some sort of dream that lasts forever, for one thing time is always different in a dream than in the real world (heck I seem to remember reading somewhere that some dreams that seem to last a long time to you only last a couple of seconds) so you might want to gird yourself for that possibility
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Even their misfires are always - always - at the very least INTERESTING. I disliked THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE intensely, but I found it at the very least a change of pace from my usual moviegoing experience and it was an unique failure, not just "one of THOSE movies.'Incidentally - hold on to life. It's far too short, and far too filled with unworthy things that belittle us or make us all seem no better than our simian ancestors (eating/sleeping/crapping/etc).I live in an absolute -terrified- state when it comes to dying, but I'm also atheistic. It's one of the reasons I cannot at all relate to THE FOUNTAIN. If I discovered a way to preserve my life - even if it were at a terrible cost - there would BE no cost too terrible, becasue the alternative - dissolution, cessation of existence - is too horrible for me to even think of being able to bear. I don't WANT to know the person who can stomach the idea of ceasing to exist. It means they're not worth much to begin with, that they're ok either way whether they live or not. I want to live more than anything in the entire world. It's one of the reasons also why I can't connect with the SAW movies, because I put myself into the situations I see in movies in my imagination when I watch them - and there'd be no point in SAW testing me because I value my life more than anything else - so all he'd do is cripple me. I would learn nothing - I already cling to life with every possible fiber of my being. So what's to learn? I take nothing, no day alive for granted. I wake up every morning and enjoy the act of breathing, being glad I survived another day. Every minute, even leisure minutes like this just lying on my back on my couch reading AICN with my Macbook on my lap while I recover from all my injuries from a recent beat-down attempted mugging, I'm happy for every ache and pain because it means I'm alive, and glad to BE alive. it's why I want to make peace with every hater and every person who ever accused me of being a "troll." I wasn't, but I want to try to make peace, see how that goes for a while. Big life change. Let's hope it works and my cynicism regarding humanity is not rewarded by the result.
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Kobe would never take you up on that offer. One, he's a troll. Two, he's probably subconsciously scared that if he watches a gay sex scene he'll get an erection. His rhetoric and fixation on sexual situations with men makes it pretty blatantly obvious. The most vocal and obnoxious homophobes are almost always closeted homosexual in denial even to themselves. History is replete with examples (Larry Craig, Ted Haggard; airport bathroom sex and gay prostitutes olol).
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This is a great story. It makes me sad, but it's all apparently true. It has to do with a failed Disney pilot called SUPER COOPER where the creator wrote on a cartoon blog about the failure of the show: "The idea for Super Cooper came to a friend of ours, Steve Billnitzer: how about if a middle-school girl has super powers, but she gets a different one each day and she never knows what it’ll be? And what if some of them are completely insane?
The Disney Channel liked it and asked if we could work with Steve. Since they had just passed on Rocketship Bedroom (q.v.) and the notes from four countries on W.I.T.C.H. were becoming a Vietnam-style quagmire, we had the time. There followed the usual six months of contractual haggling, after which we got precisely the same terms we get on every show that C.A.A. spends six months negotiating. We then, with Steve, wrote ten drafts of a series bible and seven drafts of the pilot.
Steve, Darrell and I have the same attitude towards humor: (to hell with them) if they can’t recognize a joke. We put in silly stupid gags and a lot of random stuff that just flat-out amused us. You know, like the jokes in Spongebob Squarepants, on that other network where they actually try to entertain kids instead of preaching to them. After the first draft was turned in, the bombs began to fall. In the very first phone call: “This is a good start... I think one of the first things we need to talk about is where we’re going to put the message.”
The Message. Why does a children’s show have to have a message? They don’t work. If they worked, every kid who watches television would be respectful, honest, considerate and sharing. I’ve met them; they’re not. Nobody in the history of television viewing has ever modified their behavior or personality because of a lesson learned by a character in a sitcom or animated program. So why, when original stories are hard enough to write to begin with, must we continue to make them harder by having these poor fictional drawings, in their brief flicker of life, suffer through crises that test and anguish them? Why can’t they just have funny experiences?
So we put a message in. It was about sharing.
We looked at literally thousands of artists’ samples before TVA head Barry Blumberg walked in one day and said, “That one.” And we proposed several ways of writing the story before Barry said at a conference table one day, “Here’s your story. In Act One...”
We hired singer-songwriter Amy Correia to write and sing the theme song. Pete Michels directed the witty animation, based on Keith Knight’s lovely and goofy character designs.
Late in the testing at Burbank’s ASI, as I wandered from the boys’ testing room to the girls’ room, I heard the interlocutor ask the boys, “What could we do to improve this series?” One of the ten-year-old boys spoke up: “Have her fight bad guys and kill ‘em!” The other young Byrons loudly agreed. Of course, this was the superhero convention that our concept was supposedly turning on its head. But when I got the thanks-but-no-thanks call, this turned out to have been the major quibble during the testing with ten-to-twelve-year-olds in Berlin, Munich and London. I don’t know if it arose spontaneously like radon or if, cued by Burbank Billy, the execs were nudged in that direction and followed it up with leading questions, but they wanted Cooper to fight evildoers. This thought had never arisen at the network or studio: every note was aimed at making Cooper’s family life richer, her friendships more rewarding, her morals firmer, her actions more believable. At least a month was spent by director Pete Michels trying to make her nose cuter. There were hour-long meetings about her hair.
Could we have changed Super Cooper to a show in which a twelve year- old girl fights evildoers using different super powers every day? Yes Ma’am. Is that the way children’s television works? No it isn’t. They buy it, they “fix” it, you make it, and then the testing needle writes and, having writ, moves on. Fifty adults birth a show then toss it to young Billy Mumy and cringe while they wait to see who’s going to be sent to the cornfield. A lot of money could be saved if some children were brought into the meetings when the story was being written. “Hey kids, do you want a Message here, or something funny?” Will they ever do it that way? No they will not. Because that would bypass all the crap, and that’s all that some people have to sell." -
tl;dr
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My apologies. I mistakenly attributed Thusspake's comments and directed my nasty comments at you. You are not the douche, he is. And he assinine, ignorant view of "Munuch". My wires got crossed. And furthermore, you should not be chided for not seeing a movie you don't want to see. Still haven't seen "The Passion", not because I hat Christians, but because I don't give a fuck.
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And The Fountain gets points for featuring Conquistadors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbwDH70Mhok
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Um, I agree with everything you said about MUNICH.
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Yeah, but you didn't come here specifically just to tell everyone that you don't want to watch a movie with two guys "fuckin" because it's icky and, hey, why don't you swing on my balls, and taste my asshole while you're at it? I'm not in the closet. Really.
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Let Kobe try. His name is just riffing on a Shaq rap. SHAQ-FU!
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It's mediocre, but seems much worse than it really is because of the waste of talent that went into that film. Also, some of the premises seem like retreads for the Coens, like when Pitt and McDormand start trying to negotiate with the CIA for a reward but are too dumb and out of their league, it was basically the same premise from Fargo. Moron tries to capitalize by negotiating with killers, and things get really fucked up. And the humor fell flat for me. It just didn't seem to hit the mark.
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Dude, Ninja Scroll is over a decade, more like almost 15 years.And both Crash and brokeback Mountain failed to live up to it's expectations IMO.
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I am your average movie goer...i'm not lucky enough or financially capable of seeing every film out there. But here is my list of the 100 greatest films of the decade (and yes i cheated with a couple of trilogies)
THE 100 BEST FILMS OF THE DECADE
1. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Gladiator
4. No Country for Old Men
5. The Pianist
6. Dark Knight
7. Munich
8. Whale Rider
9. The Incredibles
10. The Departed
11. V for Vendetta
12. Cinderella Man
13. Finding Neverland
14. Blood Diamond
15. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
16. Bourne Trilogy
17. Adaptation
18. Slumdog Millionaire
19. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
20. Finding Nemo
21. Gangs of New York
22. Memento
23. UP
24. The Hours
25. Kung Fu Panda
26. Kill Bill vol 1 & 2
27. Zodiac
28. State of Play
29. Children of Men
30. Remember the Titans
31. Gone Baby Gone
32. A Beautiful Mind
33. Superbad
34. Mystic River
35. Cold Mountain
36. Batman Begins
37. Wall-E
38. Road to Perdition
39. Shrek
40. Garden State
41. Minority Report
42. The Prestige
43. Gran Torino
44. Coraline
45. Snatch
46. Count of Monte Cristo
47. Iron Man
48. The Bank Job
49. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
50. Million Dollar Baby
51. From Hell
52. Love Actually
53. Cast Away
54. 28 Days Later
55. The Hangover
56. Collateral
57. Casino Royale
58. The Visitor
59. 40 Year Old Virgin
60. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
61. Inside Man
62. The Others
63. Michael Clayton
64. Pans Labyrinth
65. Last Samurai
66. Doubt
67. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
68. Serenity
69. Moulin Rouge
70. Lucky Number Slevin
71. Changeling
72. Atonement
73. Donnie Darko
74. Catch me if you Can
75. Big Fish
76. 3:10 to Yuma
77. Hot Fuzz
78. Eastern Promises
79. Juno
80. X2: X-Men United
81. Breach
82. Mean Girls
83. Insomnia
84. The Matador
85. Star Trek
86. Spider-Man 2
87. In Bruges
88. Knocked Up
89. Erin Brockovich
90. The Descent
91. Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl
92. Shaun of the Dead
93. Crash
94. The Devil Wears Prada
95. The Upside of Anger
96. Napoleon Dynamite
97. Red Dragon
98. Stardust
99. About a Boy
100. Borat
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Sorry, but by posting your list, it becomes open to judgment. First, LOTR trilogy is 3 films not one, plus I find them nauseating. Then, you listed The Departed as number 10, which is really one of the most heavy-handed films from Scorsese - the rat on the rail in the last scene of the movie is either a sad statement about Scorcese's use of symbolism, or about his faith in American audiences and their ability to interpret films. Garden State at #40? Garden State??? That alone makes your list pure fail. Lucky Number Slevin??? Juno??? Big Fish???? The Upside of Anger???? About a Boy?????? Sorry, but that's a stink awful list....in my humble and kind opinion.
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aka SpyMunk...Gb2Chud
http://tinyurl.com/y9zwklt
http://tinyurl.com/3m8wdr -
Troy's cool, and he interviewed me, but I'm not Troy. Promise. If I were I'd tell 'ya.
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That's not a picture of me, either. I don't look -anything- like that, and my hair is a totally different color too.
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You don't have any friends.
http://tinyurl.com/yzent2b -
Hey, I chilled out and admitted to being a bit of a douche. I just got mugged a few days ago, badly, and nearly died from a huge physical beating. Let's not add to anybody's pain.
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I'd say you do deserve a good mugging.
Who else's pain should I be adding to? -
That's a whole other level.
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Dec 06, 2009 7:06:39 AM CST
Is this because he doesn't like Oldboy, Munich, and the other on
by chakraborty
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This is officially my last post to AICN. Ever. I'm out. In the last few days, I've been threatened with physical violence on here, had people wish my death ... etc. That was annoying and lame, but it was still just internet talk and I felt it was people getting a little carried away with debating and blowing off steam.At this point, though, it's reached a point where people are posting Facebook pages that are not mine and wishing further violence against OTHER PEOPLE who aren't me. At that point, I feel it's best for everyone if I quit this entire website for the safety of others and for myself. You won't see another post from me here ever again. Harry Knowles - you're a cool dude and I hope your site continues to prosper. For the people who've actually engaged in conversations with me instead of throwing out rhetoric, thanks. And I hope the people who have been vicious and cruel will rethink their lives a little and maybe not be so quick next time to resort to threats. Bye.
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Thats just my opinion...just like if i were to see a list with Twilight, Bring it On, or Transformers, i would none be too pleased. But I still really liked Garden State
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Was little schizophrenic Troy hurt?
Are you gonna pull every sock out of the drawer now?
Wave hi to devin for me, as I'm sure your mouth is full of his cock. -
Stalking talkbackers...not cool. On a side note, Spymunk, sorry to hear about your recent beating...but having said that, I think if word of this beating gets out in your neighborhood, you're going to have trouble recruiting people at the martial arts studio you teach at.
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Give me a fuckin break...
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...that's not you who teaches martial arts...that was someone else.
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Now that Spymunk is gone? *walks away slowly*
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...and wishing violence on them is deserving of a banning. It makes the talkbacks somewhat creepy for the rest of us.
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On second thought... nahhhhh. No doubt another autistic Indian persona will turn up to make our little corner of the internet a bright & peppy place.Maybe he's "living with Crohn's Disease". Goddamn, those fucking commercials are getting on my nerves. It's become so fashionable, you'd think it was the new ADHD.People these days are massive pussies(Spymunk being among them, natch). Remember the good old days, when all these elaborate disorders just got dumped into the "not right in the head" bin?... so much easier and uncluttered. I think NRITH needs to make a comeback, and that right quick.
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but ultimately, it's just people trying to flex illusory muscles. Fuck 'em. There are bullies in all walks of life, including the internet.
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Dec 06, 2009 8:09:12 AM CST
and SpuMunk has left the building...
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Also there is a difference between bullying and calling someone out for being a prat. SpyMunk was a prat. A 37 yr old Twilight fan who refers to half naked teens as Twinks...
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I really doubt ThusSpake would be found out so easily.
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was getting a bit tiresome though.
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...because he claimed to be interviewed by that guy, which makes no sense. Why use a screenname that traces back to some random guy you know and claim to be interviewed by.
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...but what's more disturbing? The people who troll, or the people who wish death on those who troll because they can't stand their opinions on movies like Avatar and OldBoy? Some people take this shit wayyyyy too seriously.
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that doesn't make much sense. He has been fucking with people in AVATAR threads, and we all know how CHUD feels about that one.
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Thought you might get a kick outta this. http://tinyurl.com/ybaldrf
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Dec 06, 2009 8:32:06 AM CST
People threatening death is a bit too much...
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
I just wished he never procreated...
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...so you get your wish. Merry Christmas.
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I would never wish harm, mental or physical on any people who come here to genuinely talk about geek stuff. It's when people with agenda's come here and try to bend you to their will. Don't agree with me? Like I give a shit. But don't come around moralising or pushing beliefs around. SpyMunk flat out pissed me off. I have been coming here for over Ten years. The only two people to completely piss me off have been Nerd_Rage for obvious reasons, and this choda-breath. SpyMunk would disagree inanely, saying don't judge Twilight till youv'e seen it, whilst at the same time judging Avatar. Then when anyone disagreed or called him at his bullshit, he would cry please don't pick on me (he's only 37). He shoulda grew a spine before coming to play....
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Dec 06, 2009 8:48:01 AM CST
Chakraborty...he might still do a Madonna
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
and by the way I have no problem with same-sex couples having children. Just oversensitive weirdo's.
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Dec 06, 2009 8:54:07 AM CST
oh thats right he agreed to see Avatar with an open mind
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
It's that sort of shit.....manipulation. If you watch Twilight I'll watch Avatar. Fuck off. I have no interest in Twilight, and could give a rat's arse about whether this creep sees it or even wants to see it. It was his attempts to come off as noble, as though a gentlemans handshake means anything on the internet. That's what pissed me off.
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Just went and looked around CHUD and read this post. http://tinyurl.com/ycxrazu
Looks like his experiment worked. -
Dec 06, 2009 9:11:27 AM CST
TheUmpireStrokesBach.... could it be true???
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
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Maybe, maybe not. In the end, who really gives a fuck? I honestly doubt he even does...he's just gonna have to come up with a new one. Though he's probably got ten or more socks around here already...
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Dec 06, 2009 9:24:51 AM CST
And now it will turn into a talkback version of "The Thing"
by chakraborty
Everyone put your blood into petri dishes, and call Macready over here with the blowtorch.
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Can he take Series7 with him? Looking at their collective fillibustering postcounts in this thread alone, these two douchebags have no friends/lives outside of the internet.
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So Spymunk was an 'actual' spy??
A gay guy called Troy from a website called Chud who was doing an experiment to be as annoying as possible?? Plus something to do with socks?? Just when I think this place cant get any weirder...
Lucky no one's ever found out my real identity as Ernest Borgnine's personal masseuse. Imagine the stick i'd get for that one. Whoops! -
more pretentious.
What exactly was the point here? It's an avant garde experiment, see, where I go out and prove that even people on the internet won't be able to stand me after four months."
Troy, or whomever you are, you failed at the "not being able to trace it back to me" but in addition you brought it to the wrong website. No one is going to feel had, or enlightened. Instead, at best, you'll probably get mentioned in passing somewhere between the Minor Jeff/Boll fight and that guy who used to go running about exclaiming "Well, I'll be pigf**ed" as lamest WTF AICN moments. Well done. -
He's a quality guy, and he's far, far away from being Spymunk. He's also been around for awhile, as one of COC, now over at WOTM and AIBN on occasion. And he's got a life outside of here. He's boisterous, but thats not a bad thing.
Series brings something to the table--this other guy doesnt. -
whats the point? Sort of mean-spirited don't ya think? Why try and tear someone down...oh wait, Im on the internet.
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"Just when I think this place cant get any weirder..." This is definately one of the stranger TB's lol, but surprisingly satisfying. Like squeezing a big zit. :)
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"I'll go with you, Spymunk Maguire. On second thoughts.......nahhh"If that guy from CHUD was really doing an experient, it is quite possibly the lamest thing that has ever happened on the internet. His inflated opinion of his own importance can be seen from space.
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Obviously you didn't read this TB before you posted. Series7 posted (spoiled) the ending of UP IN THE AIR because of something he read on Ebert's site and then lamely tried to justify it because he decided for all of us that the movie was unworthy and therefore it was ok for him to spoil. And we've ALL been here awhile, bannings make us re-register under less recognizeable screen names is all, it still doesn't excuse one of willful, egotistical douchebaggery. Plus anyone who thinks repeatedly posting Clooney as "Cloondawg" in one thread is somehow even remotely funny should just fucking die.
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...going to turn into a self-congratulatory talkback award and FAP session?
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not sure if it's a spoiler or just an anti-spoiler, but you've been warned...
Having seen Up In The Air, Clooney doesn't die. Series misread Ebert's review--although it was a bit of a muddled read to begin with. -
goes to Chakraborty...also winning for best use of obscure Dean Koontz secondary character as screenname. Kudos.
Kidding Chak. -
Chakra, I think in the next 25 lockesbrokenleg will be revealed as an investigative journalist who's just written a Pullitzer Prize winning article about 'his time' amongst us.
The article will be called 'a twat amongst the pigeons'. -
Echo, ZHL and Series had a little professional sparring bout. It all helps keep you sharp. You gotta use it or lose it if you want to stay 'battle ready'.
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I've never read Koontz so I don't get the reference.
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I assume(perhaps wrongly so) that your name is referencing the Bollywood actor. The Street Dancer guy?
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I think you're onto something. I think lockesbrokenleg is actually a modern day Diane Fossey. An acclaimed modern anthropologist studying the bizarre behaviors and thinking patterns of the online geek community. He is experience is very similar to the main character in Avatar (without the romance) as he uses his own avatar to infiltrate our ranks. His thesis will be called "Gorillas in the Internet Mist".
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I'm impressed. I tried to use his whole name, "Mithun Chakraborty", but it wouldn't let me, so I had to settle for the last name. The 1982 Bollywood film "Disco Dancer" is a cult classic and must-see.
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Dec 06, 2009 11:23:20 AM CST
Rhuragh - Gargle my nuts since you don't wanna swing on em
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
You fuckin triple douche troll. Oh yeah, swing on my nuts anyway.
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lockes journal 1455.b
"Today I stimulated the test subjects with some negative comments about oscar-winning director James Cameron. When these failed to elicit any response, I switched to making some highly positive comments about populist director Michael Bay. This resulted in 3 responses of 'twat', 2 of 'troll', and 1 'fuck off and die you fucking cuuuuunt'. Very interesting. I will continue this line of investigation tommorrow." -
That's funny, but I doubt locky has the brain power to pull that off. Still, it's funny.
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Again, read the TB, this was all already covered. I know he misread Ebert, that's not the point. He THOUGHT he was spoiling it and did so just because he decided for all of us that the film was unworthy and therefore ok to spoil. I don't care if it was fucking Reitman, Jr., Scorcese or Disney, it's immaterial, that's still an egotistical dick move and I don't put in with all this clique shit. Come correct, get respect. Be a willful douche and you face the fuckin fire.
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Seriously... one geek site spying on another? That guy is so pathetic, he decides, "Oh yes, I shall toy with these peasants and get them to do my bidding." So he comes over here to troll on purpose, to see how mad he can get people... and actually feels satisfied? 'Cause, you know, he meant to do that? Dude, that's EASY. That makes you lame, and reveals that the so-called package you're sportin' is probably 99% bush, if you get my meaning. And that's being generous. So unbelievably tiresome...
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Dec 06, 2009 11:39:41 AM CST
anyone named after a Koontz character.....
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
must have a dog who is smarter than first appears, be accompanied by a fiercely resilient woman and LOOOOVE guns. Also even if your tale is 10,000 pages long the god's shall decree your resolution takes no more than a pithy 3 sentences.....
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Dec 06, 2009 11:39:49 AM CST
You should have that last line engraged in marble somewhere in y
by jonah echo
"Be a willful douche and you face the f**in fire".
As it is written, so let it be done. -
I did not know you were Bartelby over on mooonwolves until I read it here.
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Exactly...
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Kobe did you just say something 'complimentary' to a fellow talkbacker???
Thank you. Must be that xmas spirit coming early... -
lockes is one crazy mofo...
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Yea, that's me. I still post articles there as Echo. Im mostly Bartleby here: www.cinematropolis.wordpress.com
ZHL, I see your point. I'm going on my basic knowledge of Series. Sometimes doing the catch-up reading on these TBs is like studying for the Bar exam. -
I have a simple motto - be nice to me, I am nice to you. Act like triple douche troll to me, get ready to face the fuckin fire (yeah I stole that from zombie) and swing on my motherfuckin nuts (stole that one from liberal warrior). So, how ya been buddy?
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It was a rancid bush as well
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...in the real world I'm remarkably accomplished and well endowed. The only thing keeping from being the ultimate well rounded Renaissance man was an internet addiction of some sort...it's coming along rather nicely.I seem to be slipping in some other areas, I wonder if there's a connection...
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Dec 06, 2009 11:59:03 AM CST
...Cobra--Kai, that journal entry thing would be a great....
by flickapoo
...talkback gimmick/trade mark.You're just stacking up cool talkback styles for the future...
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Flicka, I already have my beloved dojo. I think one gimmick is enough for any man.
Kobe, im not sure were on 'buddy' terms just yet but time is on our side. Let's take things slow and see if we can grow to love each other. -
Yeah, fucking right.
It starts off with a Muslim hymn whirring in the background, as a buncha Arab stereotypes pray inside their room a few moments before turning into thugs like it's what all Arabs do. I'm sorry, it's not political, after all. It's bigoted.P.S. Proof positive how erstwhile liberals could wax most grating neoconservative. Or end up making the most gratingly jingoistic work. The whole thing has the air of Paul Greengrass undoing his own liberal conspiracy theory twaddle with ' ah, fuck it. Ignore the truth-searching, let's just condemn and destroy these Muslim types without asking further questions.' Well, who was being the quasi-inquisitive prick, doucheface ? Who demanded enough to care if you reverse tact ? Nobody ever asked for your frickin' POSE, loser. So just START MAKING WELL-CONSTITUTED MOVIES, instead to pandering to the National Review dorksters, 'coz you've got yer 'empathy' on ! I continue to stand agape on how pointless, and utterly inert that whole paean to jingoist death worship is. It's 9-11 porn for lack of more fitting term. Frickin' necrophilia. My. God. -
Of the year, Cobra might have just won it with that description of Locke. I did a spit take.
Now excuse me, I have to clean up my wood floors now thanks to you.
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Dec 06, 2009 12:07:52 PM CST
Koontz Koontz Koontz Koontz ichi bin konichiwa
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
Koontz Koontz Koontz Koooooontz. Ichi bin sayonara. dingadingading ding ding ding....
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...in hiding after one of his two thousand word self reliance/unabomber posts. Only post I ever saw him not answer. At the time I figured he didn't know who Ayn Rand was...but maybe I inadvertently stumbled too close to the dark, dark truth.I'm lucky I didn't get a poison umbrella tip to the back of the neck...
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That's an interesting list. You reminded me of a couple of films that might deserve to be in my gargantuan (around 200 films) list of best films of the decade. Namely, Whale Rider, Road to Perdition (unlike what someone said earlier, THIS was Hanks' best role of the decade, not Cast Away), The Bank Job, and Stardust. There's a lot of mass-market crap in there too, but you still got some really good films in the list. I think I can easily call it a better list than Beaks' POS list so far (though he does have more foreign film than you do).
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...you've got a safety deposit box with fifty thousand dollars in cash, two fake passports, and five more top notch talkback styles locked and loaded.
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How's that dick tasting for you?
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Outing someone is NEVER OK. I don't care who they are, or what they've done. If you think you've uncovered something like that, take your evidence to the site's administrators and let them decide what to do. But do NOT publish it in public. That's completely fucking classless, and BlackIronPrison should be perma-IP banned because of it. Also, did anyone bother to check the date on the post where he claims to be running a social experiment? IT'S MARCH OF TWO THOUSAND FUCKING EIGHT. Has Spymunk been around that long? Do you seriously think someone like Troy Anderson has the fortitude to continue a trolling experiment for TWENTY MONTHS? Please.
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That is what happened. A group of Arab, Muslim men hijacked a plane and killed everyone aboard. Before they hijacked it, the most likely prayed because they were religious fanatics.
The movie doesn't explore of why the did it (and personally, I think they did it because they are fucked up - no amount of twisting political facts can justify killing thousands of innocent people) it just shows the details of what most likely transpired that day. -
Dec 06, 2009 12:25:31 PM CST
Rhuragh, I actually thought his best was Charlie Wilsons War
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
it seemed almost like a merging of 80's Tom(The Burbs, The Man with One Red Shoe) with 90's Tom(anything post Philadelphia)... It might have been the humour more than anything but I loved that performance.....
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Yeah, I think an argument can be made for Charlie Wilson's War as his best film too. Maybe even Catch Me If You Can. In any case, not Cast Away. Ugh. I hated that movie.
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Dec 06, 2009 12:29:43 PM CST
I just watched Road to Perdition yesterday....
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
Remember when Jude Law could act? Hanks is fantastic in that, his death scene is wonderfully/horrifyingly done...
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Yeah, it was nice back then. Do you think we'll see a good performance from him in Sherlock Holmes?
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dirtyjokes, yeah the PERDITION death scene is great. But then the film shoots itself in the foot with one of the most godawful 'conclusions' this side of granny-throwing-necklace-overboard in TITANIC. A narrated, ultra sappy bit of dialogue by the kid that undoes all the good work of the last two hours.
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Dec 06, 2009 12:35:29 PM CST
Probably decent if only to compete with Downey
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
After having seen the trailer though I have little faith in the film. I hope I'm wrong, I hope Richie nailed it. It just seems there is too much action...
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Dec 06, 2009 12:39:32 PM CST
Cobra--Kai...yeah it saps a lot of the power...
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
It doesn't kill the film for me though. Hanks is so freakin flawless in it that it nearly absolves him of those Dan Brown abominations...
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I've mentioned this a few times, but I'm not building a top 100, just the best films of the decade that I think everyone should see. It's a little over 200 films right now. I'm wondering whether I should include Stephen Frears' two great films from the decade: Dirty Pretty Things and Mrs Henderson Presents (no, I do not care for High Fidelity). Any comments? I give bonus points in my rankings for films that cover important social subjects, or have great acting. Does the immigrant worker subtext in Dirty Pretty Things warrant inclusion on that basis alone? Do Chiwetel Ejiofor (yes I knew how to spell that without looking) and Audrey Tautou put it over the top? What about Mrs Henderson Presents? Does talking about nudity in a very intolerant society warrant inclusion? How about Dame Judi Dench's participation?
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dirtyjokes, yes I should have said 'threatens to undo the good work'. Wouldnt suprise me if that lame ending narration was a result of studio interference, certainly seemed to belong to a different film. Pre-Bond Daniel Craig was v.good in the movie too as the 'bad son'.
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I think Mr. Beaks list makes this abundantly clear. His 76-100 picks were garbage because of a lack of quality depth. His 51-75 picks, on the other hand, are excellent because there have only been 50-75 outstanding films this decade. Less overall quality means more consensus about the top picks. Hell, the single year of 1999 featured nearly as many classic films as the entire decade of '00-'09!
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This was a great decade for film. It was a poor decade for mass-market crap (seriously, this year alone, Transformers 2, Terminator Salvation, Star Drek, and GI Joe?). If you think the aughts were a bad decade for film perhaps you need to broaden your horizons a bit?
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Charlie Wilson's War may be Hanks' best performance. I will never know because I couldn't see past that glaring hot mess that was Julia Roberts in that movie. I cannot abide that woman, especially when she's hamming it up with a God-awful southern accent... the ONLY exception being Erin Brokovich, which was a brilliant flick.
Catch Me If You Can is, without a doubt, the best movie Hanks made in the oughts. -
Didn't I see you in that movie with Ryan Reynolds called "Waiting?" Talk about scary bushis! It'll probably be in Beaks' Top 50.
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I read your Top 15 Asian films, good stuff, someday i'll get to check some of them out.Any idea when the Animation list will be posted? Cheers.
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...and defend Wall-E as completely underrated in this lineup and in general. That movie is brilliant. Pixar's best, IMO, and that's saying something since I loved Up and can't believe they got away with a story about an old geezer, since that shit generally don't fly in this day and age unless Jack Nicholson is involved.
The ENTIRE first... what, half hour?... of Wall-E was basically a silent film. They so fully developed that little bucket of bolts, he's more real a character than most live-action HUMANS. However, the REAL master touch to Wall-E is the cinematography. The long shots. The way this CG movie looks like it was actually shot with a live-action camera. The brilliance of this film cannot, in my opinion, be overstated... IMHO, this deserves to be AT LEAST in the top 20 or 30. OK, rant over. -
That shit don't fly around here.
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...I know so very many ex-coworkers like that scary bitch from Waiting. That one was the classic lifer who is WAY to emotionally invested in the job. A sous chef actually gave me this name. I used to hang out in the kitchen and watch the chefs work, I learned how to cook doing that. but it drove them nucking futs.
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Going through my list, I have _over_ 100 films rated 8 or higher (after a count, 124 to be exact). 52 of them are foreign films. Sounds like you need to shop around a bit. Like I tell my ignorant, uncultured, uncouth, incurious, philistine relatives when they ask me why I'm watching a movie with subtitles, do you think that ONLY Hollywood makes good films? Is there something intrinsically wrong with other cultures that good movies can't be made in foreign languages?
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Rhuragh, are you that talking baby from Family Guy?
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I share your passion for WALL-E. Whether it makes Beaks list is another matter. It is my Top Ten for Animated films. UP and THE INCREDIBLES would be there too. IMO
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I was doing a study on how many times someone threated anothers life when the words Avatard were mentioned.
Now when I go back into work at the TB I owe the manager a chalupa.
JK Morb. It wasn't a secret, I was just clarifying for Kobe. -
I do not watch Family Guy, but no, I am not the talking baby.
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I'm compiling that and the top twenty horror in conjunction with one another. Not connected, but at the same time. The horror one is hard. Not alot of good stuff in the past decade.
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...killing what was left of my faith in humanity too, Cobra--Kai.
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Its quite possibly the worse thing I've ever seen, yet I'm still watching it as I want to see how bad it can still get lol.
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Morbius and scarywaitress, WALL-E is in Beaks list (at 69, behind the apparently superior SUPERBAD).
Beaks said it could have been a great film if only Wall-E's mind had stayed wiped at the end. Probably would have liked to see 'Chief' appear and smother him with a pillow too. -
Because I think this decade has been weak means I only like Blockbuster films... That is a very mysterious presumption on your part. I have extremely discerning tastes; I would never pay to see garbage like G.I. fucking Joe or Transformers. As such, there have been extended "dry periods" in this decade when there simply wasn't a movie worth paying to see. There have been classics in this decade, to be sure, but the depth of field has been pretty shallow. This has been a terrific decade for documentaries and comedies, for example. But for high-quality dramatic films, this decade has been extremely hit or miss (mostly miss).
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Sorry Rhuragh, didnt mean to make fun of you but couldnt help hearing this in baby Stewie's voice...
"Like I tell my ignorant, uncultured, uncouth, incurious, philistine relatives when they ask me why I'm watching a movie with subtitles, do you think that ONLY Hollywood makes good films?" -
...wiped and that Eve would sit by him and be his caretaker for the centuries it would take him to evolve a personality again (the same way he presumably did the first time)...sort of like Wall-E did for her when she shut down with the plant in storage. It would have allowed them to show a montage of humanity taking root again too...Absolutely nothing wrong with the ending they went with though. WALL-E would probably be in my top ten. Top twenty for sure.
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...but that shit's the truth.
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Someone in either this TB or the last one asked you about Iranian films. You commented that you were working on a list. Is that still forthcoming too? For what it's worth, horror is pretty sparse in my list too. Here's all I have: Audition, Thirst, The Devil's Backbone, The Host, Let the Right One In, The Descent, 28 Days Later..., Dawn of the Dead, Gozu, I Am Legend, Izo, Shadow of the Vampire, The Mist, and Zombieland (can this even be called horror?). That's going off the IMDB tags, and that means that Ichi The Killer isn't tagged properly, as that's in my list too. I also seem to recall an article on this site last year where someone interviewing P.T. Anderson suggested he make a horror film. He replied that he thought he just had (There Will Be Blood). How about adding The Time of the Wolf, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Silent Hill, and Dog Soldiers to the list?
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Dec 06, 2009 1:41:38 PM CST
I love WALL:E. Nice to see it getting some love out there
by col. tigh-fighter
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Conti asked about Iranian films. I have them coming in a basic foreign language films list, which will exclude the asian ones since I did those already. I did, however, mention a few over in the asian film thread on my site.
Never really felt like Brotherhood of the Wolf or Time of the Wolf were horror. I can understand the thought process though.
Silent Hill is horror but I kind of hated it. Dog Soldiers on the other other hand... -
...year old is riveted to it. Watched the entire thing on my lap, start to finish at barely two...laughed at all the right places, got excited when Wall-E and Eve finally held hands, said "not nice" when Eve blew up the oil tankers.That's an impressively wide demographic. Then again I like watching SESAME STREET too...hmmm...
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Rhuragh, add THE ORPHANAGE to the list. Particularly if you're happy to watch subtitled films - it's a real class act.
ps. lose I AM LEGEND! -
you mentioned on my list already. There just really is a shortage of great horror in the last decade.
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its on the list too.
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Assuming we lump thrillers in with horror. How about Cache, Red Lights, High Tension, and Frontiers?
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http://vimeo.com/8007642 get with it AICN!!
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Yeah, I really struggled with that one. If you ignore the book it's based on (which I haven't read), and stop making comparisons to the original Heston film, it's a decent film. Yeah, I know, that's a lot of caveats.
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...didn't really do much for me, I'm sad to say. I admit the film was well crafted, and I'll be watching for further films from Bayona, but it's one of those films that loses a lot for me after the first viewing (and I could only stomach two).
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zhl, nice link. That came round quick didnt it!
Rhuragh, I thought Will Smith did a great job but was badly BADLY let down by the fx department. Stretchy mouthed cgi zombies... so lame. -
... don't respond. Or at the very least, ATTEMPT to respond in an intelligent manner. Twice recently someone has attempted to "get my goat" with an insulting comment on these talkbacks (I'm pretty sure I know who it is and why they're doing it - but that's another post altogether). Both times I've responded with a clearly amused insult asking them to actually explain WHY they feel that way. Both times they've gone away immediately. However, if they had responded with another attempt at verbal sparing without any actual meat to their post, you know what I would have done? I would have completely ignored them. Why? Because they don't know me. They know nothing about me. And if they don't want to try to get to know me and understand why I feel the way I do, or where my opinions come from, then their insults mean nothing to me. Trolls can't troll if nobody responds to them. And I'm not even attempting to chastise anyone for doing so. My point is many fold. First, online bullshit does spread into the real world. Second, the constant verbal insults do hurt some people. Third, it doesn't make you look cool, tough or intelligent when you constantly threaten someone verbally or physically. Last, and most important to me, it ruins good talkbacks, and it's ruining this site. And I know all you "tough guys" will come back with an "I don't give a fuck", "insert supposedly witty insult here", "fuck this site, I'll just go to this one if AICN goes away". Well great, thanks for proving my point. You're selfish and uncaring. Great. Point in fact, there is no place for the attacks that have been taking place lately on a site that's supposed to be about ALL OF US loving movies. Your opinion, ANYBODIES opinion, is no more or less important than the next guys (or gals). Further...All of you who call out trolls, or think you've "figured somebody out", what end to you expect to reach? Do you think you're insults and threats are going to change or stop the person you're taking umbrage with? Because it's pretty clear to the average AICN reader and poster that it doesn't make one bit of difference. In fact, more often than not, it makes the situation worse. Which does nothing but make you look like a bigger ass than the troll. And I can hear it now, "but that guy was blah blah blah and he did it on purpose because of blah blah blah!" Yeah, well, he succeeded completely because of all the people who responded to him with threats and insults. Look ignorant, or ignore it? I'm voting for the later.
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And it was like an awesome sexual escapade between The Big Lebowski and The Wire, using a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas condom.
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lol I think I remember hearing about that mess at the time, but it means more to me after forming an opinion of the film (which I actually own on DVD). Always funny to see Hugh with the Wolverine beard in a suit or tux, too.
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new teaser footage and interviews with the director and producer.
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His soul is still dancing! I want to know what they were on to come up with that. And I want some of it, now.
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Heh, I kid. Could you please include a link to the previous installment in the third one? I wanted to go back to it but it seems to be gone. Or am I just missing it somehow?
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I KNOW Wall-E was number #69. What I'm saying is, that's total bullshit, it needs to be ranked way higher on the list.
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Dec 06, 2009 2:11:25 PM CST
Yeah, baby Stewie is funny as hell
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
But he probably needs his diaper changed.
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But there seems to be a pretty even split between people who think it should be higher and people who think it shouldn't be on the list at all. Me, I think it should be WAY higher. But I'm so happy that he also included Ratatouille that I'll let it slide. : )
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It would not rate in my top twenty of the decade but it was good.
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Family Guy is cheap and trashy, but that talking baby is one funny little mo-fo.
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I just got around to reading that thread for your Iranian recommendations and I noticed you made a post saying that Audition was 1999. This is incorrect. It played in one film festival in late '99. It saw general/wide release in Japan in early 2000. That's according to IMDB anyway.
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Also, you have Twilight Samurai in your list, and then mention Love and Honor favorably in the comments. I'm curious, have you seen The Hidden Blade (which I think might be better than both of them), or Kabei - Our Mother?
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Michael Clayton has a classic: The 2 aryan killers ambush Tom Wilkinson as he opens the door to his apt. They taze him, then give him a gas blast off an inhaler that knocks him out, then they pick him up, move to him his bathroom, break out a syringe, remove his right shoe and sock and give him a lethal injection. They wait a few seconds. One guy checks the pulse, gets none, and says "we're good". Then they put Wilkinson's sock and shoe back on again and leave. It's was like watching robots murder the guy.
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I was going by the fact several reviews were dated November of 1999.
I was badgered into going to an anime convention in Baltimore by friends. When I got there and discovered the oddness of the whole I just hid out in the live-action theater. The upside of this was that after some rather poor martial arts movies, they actually played some good stuff: From Beijing with Love, Uzumaki, Attack the Gas Station, Battle Royale, Matango, and of course...Audition. There were a ton of walkouts, and back then, I was about to leave myself...and then the son came home. -
If you are referring to Beaks' Top 100 List Part 1, #100-76, go to AICN main page and type in node 43253 in the white google rectangle next to the 'sign in'. Hit your enter button and a link page will come up, then just click on the link. If you were wanting something else......never mind!
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I just neglected to mention it. TS was my fave of the three.
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Dec 06, 2009 2:33:50 PM CST
Star Hump. You're right about that scene in Michael CLayton
by col. tigh-fighter
That scene is so fucking cold! Excellent stuff!
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Wall-E, a robot, leads the revolution, a rebellion against totalitarianism after he frees the political prisoners- the free thinkers and artists that were locked up by the ship's main computer- and then goes on to help initiate the second human renaissance after he teaches humans how to stop being so robotic and learn to be human once again. Its brilliant stuff.
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Thanks. Although I have no idea how it worked, it worked. And that's what I was looking for. : )
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And it's escapist, humorous and romantic. I often wonder sometimes if people who spew hate on that film have a) actually seen it, or b) seen very much science fiction in general. Because that movie is tits! But hey, to each their own.
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I think your edit after the strenuous objections and comments in the comment thread messed up article. You might want to take a look at it again.
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Messed up _the_ article, or _your_ article. I'm not sure how I messed that up.
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That link is no longer valid, says it was removed @ 3:48. Thanks you heaumeau, I kid, I kid. How did it look?
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while it may not be the BEST movie of the decade, just as Beaks has picked his PERSONAL fave, I've got to say THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM. Don't know why, don't know how, but after really liking the first two, the third one, with the final shot of Nicky smiling knowingly, and Bourne disappearing into the water, vanishing as easily as he appeared in the story in the first place (also in water), I just got chills. It's MY favorite of this decade, although I recognize films such as A BEAUTIFUL MIND, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, MICHAEL CLAYTON and THERE WILL BE BLOOD are better in terms of overall importance to cinema.
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While The Bourne Identity may have started the trend of the modern spy film, I think Casino Royale and Mission Impossible III did a better job with the aesthetic.
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Dec 06, 2009 3:08:37 PM CST
MI:III was a piece of overinflated unmitigated shit
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Just pure shit from start to finish with the worst acting of PSH career. Just pansy assed villain and stupid ass story and dumbass Tom Cruise.
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Shame QOS sucked beanie baby dick
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I really liked CASINO ROYALE, and for me all of MI3 rocked except for one spot--I never liked how Ethan Hunt obtains the Rabbit's Foot without the filmmakers showing us how. It was built up as making "Langley look like a cake walk" (to quote Luther Stickle/Ving Rhames), and then he infiltrates and is in and out, leaping like a freak from a window and parachuting. I felt it COULD have been the first time we got to see some good ol' Metal Gear Solid or Splinter Cell-style stealth action, you know where the operative uses tactical movement, dead space, concealment, and shadows to get what he wants? I was really pulling for Ethan Hunt to do that, but they skipped the whole sequence in a way I'm sure was funny to some, but all I saw was a missed opportunity to do something no one else has done yet. I mean, stealth is so rushed in film, they speed up the process by showing gadgets do all the work. There was a great sequence in BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF where the main character (forget his name) sneaks in and the cinematography and pacing is PERFECT, but it's only for about two minutes. Hollywood, more of that please. (P.S. I understand that the fellow who did EQUILIBRIUM is trying to make an MGS movie, but if he thinks it's all about fighting and doing cool poses for the camera, I'd rather he not even try.) In any case, I feel that that's a genre that needs to be "created," and not just in the OCEAN'S ELEVEN-style of pulling a "caper" or a "heist." Anyway, while we were on the subject of spy flicks, it's just a little nitpick I have about them.
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one of the best 3rd parts ever, and everyone should put the movie they enjoyed the most right at No. 1 on their lists. I'm leaning towards Michael Clayton myself. I'd put Ultimatum way up there though.
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There's too much pressure to turn sequences like that into big action set pieces. I think it would take a special Director to be able to pull off a sneaking/infiltration scene while keeping the tension high enough that the studio won't worry about putting the audience to sleep.
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So, let me get this straight (I made a punny), you say you are gay but that you like to watch straight sex. I am straight but I do not like watching gay sex. But you say I am the one with the problem? Really, bubbie? Seems like someone over there is not too sure of his orientation and is looking longingly over the fence on the other side. Yeah, you just exposed yourself bubbie.
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MI3 is already 126 minutes. If they had extended that scene, it would have added at least another 10 minutes to the running time. That makes it the third longest movie in the Bourne/Bond/Hunt movies in the aughts, after Casino Royale at 144 minutes and Die Another Day at 133 minutes. To Hollywood, the Bourne movies are the most successful of the spy series in this decade, and they've all been under two hours long (119, 115, and 108 minutes, respectively, getting shorter as the series went on). The pressure to make these films shorter (look at Quantum of Solace, at 106 minutes, even shorter than Ultimatum's 108 minutes) is growing as time goes on.
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We're cool
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Maybe he'll go away.
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the air in the same sentence?
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Supremacy is 108, Ultimatum is 115. I think my point is still mostly intact when you look at the relationship between Casino/Quantum and the Bourne films though.
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You have made the phrase yours. You're welcome.
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Dayum!! Thank you! Glad you approve. And just for that... Rhuragh - hey bubbie, you know whats coming...swing, swing high, swing low, swing on my motherfuckin nuts!
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You're definitely right about that. If a film can be shorter, but can make as much money, then why try harder for something different? They figure, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." And while there's something to be said for that, I also feel keeping to a status quo of action (as much as Bourne has done for film) leads to stagnation. As for me, well, I have a personal connection with self-defense, stealth, wilderness survival and urban evasion, because I teach it all for a living. I feel that some films, such as LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, probably don't sound too good at all when initially pitched, either, but that film was kind of indie, and did well for itself for the particular audience it was aimed at, i.e. lovers of smaller-scale, personal stories. I wouldn't even mind if the film had little to no budget--screw budget, I say. How much budget do they need to show someone sneaking around? But you're also right about needing the right director, the pacing would have to be just right. The intensity I feel when training and someone is possibly close enough to see me, but doesn't, well that's a thrill I'd like to see communicated to audiences. I agree that there is a LOT of pressure to turn those into action sequences--hero gets spotted, and has to run, guns shoot, guards chase after him, et cetera. It's just too tempting to Hollywood producers, and yet it would be fine by me if the action only came in at the tail end, or at certain sequences, before yielding time back to the carefulness of stealth. Ho hum, I guess I'll just have to wait for that to come. My girlfriend tells me I'm too picky, but that when I enjoy a film or a book, I enjoy it TOO MUCH, watching/reading it repeatedly and examining it closely, reading what the filmmakers or the author was thinking and how they initially came up with the concept. I dunno, I'm still waiting for a good stealth movie that will blow my socks off, but I realize it'll be a while. Here's hoping.
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kobe, I think you got unfairly called a homophobe earlier in this thread. Your simple point was you're straight and you don't want to see gay sex - that's rational to me, I feel the same way.
But don't start trying to kick off a flame war with Homer Sexual - or you WILL get branded a homophobe. Bad call! -
Dec 06, 2009 3:58:22 PM CST
I think QOS might have been the shortest Bond film ever
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
It was certainly greatly disappointing after the stellar CR effort. They better reboot the reboot. They got too dayum cute with it, and it backfired.
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was an awkward film
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kobe, and of course Homer Sexual likes to watch straight sex - for the same reason I like to watch lesbian sex - you get to see the gender you are attracted to naked!
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It still blew any Pierce Brosnan one and Dalton one out of the water.
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My erstwhile friend, read what Homer said about me, then tell me who was starting what first? Read every word he wrote then come back to me and say that I am the one starting some shit. Like i have said, be nice to me, I will be nice back. Start some shit, and it is on, no matter who you are. I am pro-gay rights and have said it until I am blue inna face. Some people are simply knee jerk when it comes to some subjects, or they are the ones who are trying tp start some shit just to stir things up. I state my opinion, and don't back down unless I am shown to be wrong.
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lockes, with that comment I know. You really are just pushing our buttons as part of some crazed experiment.
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And don't let no motard tell you different - otherwise I will revoke your right to use the phrase and you will have to deal with me, got that buckwheat?
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Yeah, woman on woman has it's attraction, but at the end of the day, I find it a waste of good pussy. Like I said, I highly doubt that all straights who support gay rights also like watching gay sex. It really is that simple. I support gay rights, but I don't want to watch gay sex. How is that in the least bit wrong?
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Dec 06, 2009 4:10:21 PM CST
Liberal Warrior - got it loud and clear
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Thanks
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Goldeneye was his only good one. Maybe Tomorrow Never Dies.
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MUCH MUCH better than part 1. The only thing I disagreed with was the ranking of it all. Also I fucking hate Grindhouse and anything by Tarantino in particular. I'm sick of that guy.
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OMG! We actually agree on something.
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Watching that films was touhg, very tough, but specacular all al the same itme
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I'm sick of his long drawn out conversations about shitty obscure music and other trivial things. And what's worse is that all the fanboys start wanking off to the dialogue saying crap like "Nobody can write dialogue like this genius!". Nobody wants to.
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I don't know about others, but making jokes at the expense of others identity just isn't cricket. I mean, if we were discussing Isreal and I said "Jew you understand, Kobe", don't you think that would make me look a little anti-Semetic?
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Jesus. What are some of your other faves, zillabeast? I need to understand this.
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I think he is a lttle bit if a wimp to not be able to handle watching two guys go at it. Nothing wrong with being a wimp, but to get too squimish from the thoughts of two dudes going at it that you can't see a movie, I'm going to tease you on that one.
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I am neither homophobe or homosexual. I just really enjoyed the performances and the overall film. I think Ledger gave one of the best performances of the decade with this one fo sho.
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What defuck are you talking about chum? Do you have any idea, or are you just picking up on what Cobra said without reading what Homer said to me FIRST? Learn to fucking READ! And fucking read before you open your fucking mouth or type. Homer started the shit first and I fired back with both cannons. Read what he said then come back at me. Dick.
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That's when I realized Tarentino just doesn't give a shit anymore. He belongs back in the 90s.
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ha ha
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I'll assume neither of you have seen Inglourious Basterds simply due to distaste for Tarantino after Death Proof. Rest assured, if you enjoyed earlier Tarantino films, you will enjoy Inglourious. I considered skipping Inglourious after the lackluster trailer and how much I disliked Death Proof. Luckily, I went to see it anyway, and found one of the best films of the year (albeit, in a year that hasn't been very good).
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Dec 06, 2009 5:07:50 PM CST
I found Inglorious Basterds to be one of the best films too
by col. tigh-fighter
And I find QT proper Meh. Its definately a return to form for him. But mainly just watch it Christoph Waltz :)
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Yes, he definitely deserves to be on of the Best Actor nominees and probably winner.
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Retarded phrases befit retarded users. In this case we got a match made in heaven.
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Should be higher based solely on the hammer fight scene--which may be the single best sequence in any film from the last decade.
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So for me, I thought of it being from this decade. Yeah, pretty dumb. I think the bulk of my favorite movies were not from this decade. Old much?
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French Horror. Inside and Maryters
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Two more films I have to find now...
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And here is what he wrote:
"I was with you until the last post. see.. Gay people do like to watch straight sex scenes. At least I do. I think most do. So when people are so grossed out...gotta wonder."
I thought that was pretty diplomatic and polite, considering you have made 20 or so post insinuating how the image of two guys pretending to have sex is just too repulsive for you. I mean, imagine if I said the same thing about inter racial couples or sex between jews and gentiles? Of course, here is your reply:
"So, let me get this straight (I made a punny), you say you are gay but that you like to watch straight sex. I am straight but I do not like watching gay sex. But you say I am the one with the problem? Really, bubbie?
Seems like someone over there is not too sure of his orientation and is looking longingly over the fence on the other side.
Yeah, you just exposed yourself bubbie."
Now, I find that to be someone to be overreacting and acting like an asshole. Of course, I'll let the other tbers be the judge of that for themselves. Personally, I've made up my mind (with help from you Kobe and your overreactions to mine and Cobra's post). -
and I don't give a shit what you have to say about that Beaks. 2 hours of bullshit dialogue my preteen niece could have written better, mixed with extreme closeups of Snake Pliskin eating runny fucking eggs is not a fucking movie, it's QT fap fap fap'ing in his director chair, and wiping the jizz off himself with blank checks from the studio.
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It's an open and shut case.
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...else you may have to go swing on Kobe's nuts. Whatever that means.
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...what the fuck? I liked that movie too, but I think he missed the point entirely. Is he really saying that the characters in BURN AFTER READING live in a farcical universe while we are lucky to live in the "real" universe where justice prevails? Justice? He can't be serious.Sure, BURN AFTER READING is a farce, but it points out a very real and dispiriting truth...most of the time the world is run by monkeys. There are no adults in charge. A lot of people think that someone is pulling all the strings, either for good or for evil. The reality is that the whole thing just bumbles along...everyone pursuing their own goals or petty self interest. Yes, there are flashes of order and inspiration, and occasionally idealism prevails for a brief moment...but most of the time it's just monkeys and typewriters...
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First off, fuck you. Secondly swing on my motherfuckin nuts. Now, on to business. Homer said I overplayed my hand and was 'grossed out' over gay sex and that makes you 'gotta wonder'. Gotta wonder what? I have said repeatedly that I am pro gay rights and that I have no problem with gays, but that I do not care to watch two men fuckin. I will say it again bubbie. I don't care to watch to men fucking. So, what could he or you possibly be wondering? Other than to question my repeatedly stated belief that I am a supporter of gay rights who just does not care to watch two men fucking! Do you think every straight person wants to watch gays fucking? Do you think every gay wants to watch straights fuckin? Hell there are some straights taht I would never want to watch fuckin! Do you feel 'manly' that you can watch two men fucking without feeling 'squeamish'? Well, congratulations on that bubbie. I am proud of you. You are an 'alleged' straight who can watch and enjoy two men fucking (simulated). Here's a cookie. You have been a tick on my dick since you jumped on me while I was having a beef with subby - that had not a fucking thing to do with you. You just threw yourself at me and started some shit, then tried to explain it by typing some bullshit like 'well if you attack a guy in bar you should expect his companions to attack you' or some stupid shit like that. We were in a TB not a fucking bar, but you decided to be a fucking troll and attacked me when I had not said a fucking thing to you. How about we just let the other TB'ers decide about that? Oh yeah, fuck you.
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I want both of you to take a running start then jump off the top of the highest mountain you can find, then dive down and ...yes you guessed it swing on my nuts! Swing on daddy's nuts you Jew hating, terrorist loving son-of-a bitch! You support killers of Jewish babies, and you fucking think I will ever listen to one fucking syllable you have to say? Fuck you and every disgusting racist thing you stand for. PooRag, you are just a triple douche troll, but if you align yourself with that fucking, terrorist loving, Jew-hating monstrosity who supports the killers of Jewish babies, BringingNaziBack, I will lump you in the same category.
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...that's a heavy word.Are you strong enough to flick it?...
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You are ok by me
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Oh, yes. I "attacked." This is sooo much like the Subs situation. You are right on. This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I am challenging you on what you have said in a public forum, in front of many other TBers for them to read and respond. Or that you said something that I found offensive and stupid and I am calling you out on it (unlike you, who was looking for a reason to jump back into a fight you were having with Subs in an earlier TB, in an argument).
Did I say you are an asshole and that you're words were proof of it? No, I said that what you said was bad cricket, and could be looked at as being offensive. World of difference than saying "See! He's a dick! Fuck you!"
Also, you called me a troll. Funny, first time that charge has been leveled against me. But I seem to remember you being called that a couple of times in this TB at least. Maybe you should stop projecting Kobe.
And, oh yeah, love the "alleged straight man" line and saying "manly" sarcastically. I mean, nothing is a better insult than insulting that someone is possibly gay. Oh yeah, that one REALLY hurts. Sigh.
Kobe, you want to prove your manliness, maybe you should start acting like one. -
and to be honest, if it wasn't for Christoph Waltz I would have fell asleep. I'm just tired of Tarantino's style now. I enjoyed Kill Bill volume 1 though because of the cool anime/samurai influences.
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But point out one insulting thing I said about gays. Just one. I said I did not want to watch two men fucking. If a gay said he did not want to watch a man and a woman fucking, is that insulting to all of heteros? If you think the reverse, that makes you a patronizing son of a bitch who thinks that gays must be as thin skinned as you are. I have enough respect for gays to know that they will not give a damn if i do not want to watch two men fucking - simulated or otherwise. It is only assholes like you who seem to think you must 'protect' them or prove how 'open' you are. Yes you acted like a fucking troll when you attacked me with out any cause. When you attacked me without any justification. That was trollish and assholish. The fact that you oh so 'politely' told me how wrong you think I am this time in this Tb does not change the fact of what you did in the past. But just sticking to the present, point out one, just one thing I said that was anti-gay in any way! I said I do not want to watch two men fucking but I totally support gay rights. Homer implied I was either lying or, I don't know what else, but it was not in the least bit friendly or polite as you have suggested. Then you took it upon yourself - once again, to jump into an argument I am having with someone else and to, oh so 'politely' this time (as opposed to how you attacked me the last time without cause) point out that I am somehow wrong without once providing a shred of evidence other than to say I 'over -reacted' Fuck that. Some one attacks me or questions my honesty, they get to face the fuckin fire they deserve. I have said it before, I will say it again. Be nice to me , I am nice back, But step one foot out of line, I will fucking try my best to bury you.
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Any Truth to the Rumor that during the lovemaking scene between Jake and Neytiri the soundtrack will be...The Village Peoples' IN the NA'VI.
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Be interesting to see what his next movie turns out to be - and I certainly hope it isn't a remake of Russ Meyer's "Faster, Pussycat, Kill Kill".
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I meant Tarantino, not Cameron - jesus, I must have Avatar on the brain.
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Comparing it to a tranny eat dog shit is not insulting at all. Nope. I can't imagine how a gay person here could possible take offense to that.
And the fact that it is simulated, fake sex (no penetration or even nudity, just two guys faking like they had sex) is way to disgusting for you to watch just speaks volumes.
Oh, and LOVE the tough guy act. "Some one attacks me or questions my honesty, they get to face the fuckin fire they deserve." or "Be nice to me , I am nice back, But step one foot out of line, I will fucking try my best to bury you." Nothing screams macho man than sprouting cliches and having lip on a TB forum. Yep. Because here you never have to back it up.
Kobe, once again you want to prove your a tough guy maybe you shouldn't try so hard trying to convince everyone here you are one. Seems a little desperate. -
Where he "adapts" 15 overly wordy, long and unmelodic Bob Dylan songs into a 3 hour and 45 episodic movie, complete with title cards matching the look of the Subterranean Homesick Blues video.
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In which he apes every famously known animation studios style while violently killing of each of their most famous characters, eposidicaly.
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Dec 06, 2009 9:01:37 PM CST
Desperate and shameful 'Lop, even for you that was desperate
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Now you are even trying to use BNB's grade school level stupidity as an argument. I never compared it to a tranny eating dog shit. That was they best you could come up with? The fact that I said I have no interest in certain genre's like torture porn or french new wave or a tranny eat dog shit, or old people fucking, or gay-sec themed? Really, that was the best you could do? I suppose if I had said I would never watch kiddie porn or bestiality, or animated movies, you would somehow link that to being a slam on gays as well. You are the one who should be ashamed. Well and truly ashamed of yourself that you would stoop so low to try and 'win' an argument by creating a false linkage between not liking a particular genre that happens to be as disgusting as torture porn or as unclassifiable as Pink flamingos, with not wanting to see a gay sex themed genre. If I had said I did not want to watch any Korean Martial arts genre just like I do not want to watch a torture porn genre, would you then say I was slamming all Koreans and equating their movies with torture porn? No, you are projecting hatred onto to gays that you feel. Maybe for some assholes on this TB I should have just said I do not like rotoscoped movies - but I am sure you would have spun that into some type of anti-gay stance as well. Let me say it again. There are certain genres I do not care to watch at all. Some people do not like dramas. Some do not like comedies. Some do not like thrillers. Some do not like horrors. Some do not like Korean films. Some do not like Kung fu. Some do not like French new wave. Some do not like watching old women have sex. Some do not like gay-sex movies that have simulated or actual male on male sex. Some do not like Torture Porn. Some do not like movies featuring trannies eating dog shit. Some do not like animated. Some do not like CGI. Some do not like live action/CGI. Only a true asshole like you would even attempt to link the dislike of a genre that most if not all right thinking people would label disgusting like torture porn or a movie like pink flamingos, with thinking that I or anyne else would hold gay themed movies in the same regard. I gave examples of some genres I do not like. I did not think I would have to explain the differences in those genres to anyone. That you would automatically assume that the worst of the genres listed are equal to gay themed sex movies, is a true indictment of how you really think about gays and gay themed movies. You truly are a patronizing, hypocritical son of a bitch.
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Do you really think that your opinion on ANYTHING is this important? I mean, really, do you? Because I think we ALL know how you feel about it by now. The constant chest thumping fights with members who don't have the same opinion as you is just tired, dude. Like, really, really tired.
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We had a nice little talkback love fest going on for awhile. Course, this being AICN, we knew THAT couldn't last forever. Like a microcosm of the world. Or something.
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Dec 06, 2009 9:15:03 PM CST
...and now, for your reading pleasure, my thoughts on gay sex...
by flickapoo
...in movies.As a straight guy, I wouldn't walk across the street to see gay sex in a movie...except for lesbians of course, that's like art. And cake. Art made of cake. However, neither will I cross the street to avoid a little gay sex if it's in a movie I want to see.Sexual orientation has really nothing to do with it. I'm always amused by people (I'm talking to you, Dad) who say "I have nothing against gay people, but the thought of what they do in bed just makes me sick!". Well, the thought of what my Aunt Elsie and Uncle Dennis do in the sack makes me sick too...it hardly reflects negatively on all heterosexual people. In fact, given the choice between seeing my Aunt Elsie naked and Heath Ledger naked I'll take Heath any day of the week and twice on Friday night. In fact, any man in a straight love scene better be good looking...you can keep any movie starring Ron Jeremy...that shit is fucking distracting.
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Either come correct or don't come at all. I have not said jack shit to you - ever. Lets keep it that way unless you want to start something? I am responding to people who are questioning me. Have I ever told you to shut up and move on when someone is attacking you? Take your pretentious shit and go fuck yourself.
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...just sayin'.
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I mean, how could I possible misconstrue what you wrote and take the fact that you used the description of a TRANNY EATING DOG SHIT when describing a movie about two guys having sex. I mean, why would I ever assume that you were being negative? It couldn't be because when someone describes the actions of gay people having sex and compares it with an intentional revolting and disgusting act people won't come to the conclusion that person is making it seem that they are both of equal nature. No, not at all. Just like if people use Bush and Hitler or Obama and Socialist in the same argument, people won't assume that person isn't making a direct comparison. Not at all.
Oh, and keep pretending you were being intentional with the comparison. You've insinuated before you find the idea of two guys together as disgusting, so say it is my sick mind that came to that conclusion instead of the stuff that you wrote that would lead people to that assumption.
And keep throwing insults at me. It really helps your argument.
Plus, Tranny eating dog shit isn't a genre. It is an actual act on screen, which you compared Brokeback Mountain's sex scene too. i -
Damn post somehow got mixed up. Curious.
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Dec 06, 2009 9:27:07 PM CST
HOMOPHOBEKOBE - WHY ARE YOU TROLL FLAMING EVERYONE IN SIGHT?
by bringingsexyback
By my count, you've had 12 people who saw through your lame defense and rightly pointed out your hypocritical prejudice.
And you have the audacity to invoke, of all things, the Holocaust to deflect the situation? Do you have any idea how pathetic that looks to us?
You are insignificant, and at most just one more talkback annoyance of many. But your performance is not doing Jewish people any favors.
I suggest that if you want to earn my respect you had better try a different tact. -
Keep cryin' dude. Your threats and cursing do nothing for me. You're making yourself out to be an ignorant ass. You really think you have the right to threaten and insult people because they question you? So when your boss questions you, this is how you react? When you're family questions you, do you berate them like this? When your girlfriend... oh, well, never mind on that one. You don't have one clue what it means to "come correct" - your posts have made that EXTREMELY evident. I guarantee you there is no way on earth you would act this way if all these people were in a room having the same conversation. Because you'd get punked so quick you wouldn't know what happened until 2018. You're hiding behind the anonymity of the internet making a HUGE deal out of somebody elses unimportant comments. Nobody "attacked" you dude. Yet you have cursed out and attempted to insult (repeatedly in each post) every person who has said something you don't agree with ("questioned you" lol). Seriously, read the things that have set you off, then read what you've written on this talkback. None of this is THAT important, dude. It's a movie gossip site - it ain't life and death. And please practice your reading comprehension while we're discussing your posts. Because I certainly never told you to shut up, or to move on. You took my opinion that your chest thumping insults are tired as meaning such. They didn't. I'd simply like to see you try and make an intelligent, comprehensible, unagressive and curse free comment. But something tells me that's not very likely to happen anytime soon.
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Stop sweatin' it so much. Transparent is as transparent does. You really have no reason to defend yourself as what's going on here is very clear to the rest of the talkback.
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If you show just one just one instance where I equated a tranny eating dog shit to gays having sex. I will leave for fucking ever you hypocritical, patronizing son of a bitch (yeah that was an insult) if you can show I equated the two. Prove it. Show that I was not listings genres i do not like as opposed to equating something disgusting like pink flamingos to gay sex. PROVE IT! I will sign off forever if you do. But when you can't you will be showing just how low of an opinion you truly have of Gays because you automatically assume the worst aspect of any genre must be equal to what people think of gay themed genre. Then you better swing on my motherfucking nuts forever!
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I'm just pointing out what was written. The facts are in the post, as you pointed out.
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You have a history for all to see about your anti-Jewish comments.
So fuck you. -
and good sense, obviously, since he thinks Lib Warrior's lines are worth stealing.
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Swing on my nuts. You jumped into this conversation, now you are whining that you are about to get fish smacked. Fuck off. I never threatened anyone. That bush league. But I will insult assholes.
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That's just another one of Lib Warrior's nuggets of nonsense. Just like "tongue cleaner".
Are these insults typical of the World of Warcraft set? -
lol You don't think the endless curse filled insults are threatening? You seem to be threatened by much less than that. Get over yourself, braincell. Moving on. ------->
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Dude doesn't even know any creative curse words. *yaaaaaaawn*
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If you are here or quit AICN forever. I don't spend that much time worrier about shit like that.
BUT, for the sake of argument...
Your first post about the subject, you wrote:
"You can wrap it up in any type of nice story you please, but it boils down to two dudes fuckin. If that floats yer boat okie doke, but not mine bubbie."
Slightly condescending and a little flippant IMO to a very sensitive subject matter, but I'm not going to hold that against you. However, I can understand why other TBers might take some offense to it since it insinuates that gay sex is inherently disgusting. So after some people challenged you on this, you wrote:
"Get off the fuckin float and realize that people can dislike something or some one and it aint because of a hatred it just because they dont like it. Some folks actually like watching a dude eat dog shit(Pink flamingos) so because I don't want to watch that movie does that make me a a hater of fat transvestites who eat dog shit"
THAT was the first comparison you made to the gay sex scene in Brokeback Mountain. Not to horror movies, or comedies or any shit. You compared it to a Tranny Eating Dog Shit!
So you can blame everyone else here for their reactions to what you wrote, but that would be like getting pissed at people for being upset if you made a comparison to a black man with an ape and saying everyone else is a bigot for assuming you meant something insulting by that (especially if earlier you said something that could be construed as condescending towards him earlier).
So I'll let others read what I just wrote, go check your earlier post and see if what I wrote seems accurate.
Oh, and the swinging on the nut line isn't getting old at all. I'm sure you've more great lines like that in your arsenal, you witty creature you. -
Dec 06, 2009 9:47:03 PM CST
...what, nobody want to talk about the Aunt Elsie/gay sex....
by flickapoo
...connection?Enough with the nut swinging.
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It was actually a fine point. I just think the people who were enjoying this talkback until it was so rudely ruined have finally had enough.
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Dec 06, 2009 9:53:04 PM CST
...wait, Conti, so do you hate Trannys who eat dog shit?...
by flickapoo
...why, HOW DARE YOU! bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla...Sorry, just stirring the pot. I give up. And to all a good night...
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I got carried away. I am done and retiring for the night.
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Though not creative at all ...
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Dec 06, 2009 9:57:26 PM CST
How about using the entire fucking quote 'Lop
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
"Just because I don't wanna watch a certain genre of movies does not make me a phobic. I don't like French new wave so does that make me a francophobe?
Get off the fuckin float and realize that people can dislike something or some one and it aint because of a hatred it just because they dont like it. Some folks actually like watching a dude eat dog shit(Pink flamingos) so because I don't want to watch that movie does that make me a a hater of fat transvestites who eat dog shit " That was childish and transparent. The first genre comparison I used was french new wave. But I see how you conveniently skipped over that one to pick up on a more inflammatory one. So, the very first genre i used was about the french,so why didn't you equate my lack of interest in watching gay sex with my distaste of French new wave? Hypocrite. -
Your Dad sounds just like my Dad. Are you my brother? Is your name Hieronymus Merkin? And did you ever fing Mercy Humppe, and find true happiness?
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The jury is out. You're a douche.
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Seriously, I don't see a lick of difference between it in style or context to Tarantino's other movies. Maybe just having it follow the frenetic Planet Terror in the Grindhouse double feature just had people expecting something else. AWESOME Kurt Russell performance, the BEST CAR CHASE of the last decade (FUCK the Bourne movies, THIS is how it's done), and ZOE MOTHERFUCKING BELL!!! Death Proof haters can suck it.
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There are people on here who physically threaten people. That is bush league. If you cant take an insult, get the fuck off the site!
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You were defending your actions against homophobia, hence the comparison to Francophobe and New Wave movies.
HOWEVER, when you actually used a description for the movie and the sex scene, you compared it to Pink Flamingo's infamous scene. So, once again, I think it is pretty easy to see how people could take that as your opinion on the idea of a sex scene between two men in a movie as being revolting and as disgusting. You've said earlier and later that you find it disgusting, and then you go ahead and compare it to a tranny eating dog shit.
The fact that you mentioned French New Wave movies as a defense against homophobia doesn't hide the fact that the actual idea of two guys having sex you compare to Devine eating shit. The images and line of logic you laid out was: guys having sex = just as disgusting of image as tranny eating shit. That is YOUR comparison, not me. Anyway you cut it, you are saying that if some people want to watch Devine eat shit or gay guys have sex (treating them as equal) you have no problem with that, BUT you find it just as disgusting.
And once again, I said I don't think your a homophobe. But a guy might not be a bigot but if keeps making ni**er jokes, he is at least probably an asshole.
You're an asshole. -
You are Jew hating scum back. No need for a jury. There are many who have jumped on you racist ass in the past, and will do so again. The next time a political TB or Jewish or Arab related one appears, you will be spouting your hatred and will be attacked by many for it as you always are. So fuck off. And I aint backpedaled. 'Lop did not use the whole quote in context. My first genre was french new wave, but did he or you say I compared gay sex to french new wave? No. You both went to the lowest denominator. Fuck you and everything you stand for you Jew-hating son of a bitch!
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I am truly out of here. I'll let other Tbers determine if what I said has merit or not.
Kobe, it has been delightful. -
...that came with the record and helped Cookie Monster climb to the top of Magic Mountain in search of the cookie that would bring Everlasting Joy and Happiness every day of my life between the ages of two and five.We braved Gnomes and Goblins and Six Legged Thunderbumble Beasts and found the cookie. Every day I would beg him not to eat the cookie...every day he ate the cookie and threw away Everlasting Joy and Happiness.I have nothing but a handful of crumbs.
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Dec 06, 2009 10:15:34 PM CST
'Lop you are really grasping at straws the whole post
by hey_kobe_tell_me_how_my_ass_tastes
Peter Franks your dickishness speaks volumes
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tast es Dec 5th, 2009
11:13:20 AM
I specifically said live and let live. I aint no homophobe. I just dont wanna see two dudes fuckin.
Just because I don't wanna watch a certain genre of movies does not make me a phobic. I don't like French new wave so does that make me a francophobe?
Get off the fuckin float and realize that people can dislike something or some one and it aint because of a hatred it just because they dont like it. Some folks actually like watching a dude eat dog shit(Pink flamingos) so because I don't want to watch that movie does that make me a a hater of fat transvestites who eat dog shit
Grow the fuck up or shut the fuck up.
You can not show one word in that post no one, wee I equate gay sex to a tranny eating dog shit. not one. -
Some things never change.
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So that's 13 people who can't stand Kobe. But who's counting?
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...is how you handle a troll. Watch...
..........
There is was. : ) -
Think it's time to visit the Avatar TB. This one's done been Kobe'd.
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I was trying to be witty, the name is from the movie...Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?Should have dawned on me that not many here would 'get' it. Sorry
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...although I'm sadly unacquainted with the movie...I figured it was an obscure reference to the Dr.Morbius comics. I figured I'd just play off the "true happiness" part.The Cookie Monster story is true. Very sad. Cookie Monster never found Everlasting Joy and Happiness and neither will we.
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That and Goldeneye were the only good Brosnan movies. Which is too bad because he deserved much better.
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Even given the horrible performance by Denise Richards, it just wasn't terribly interesting. Wasn't rhe climax Brosnan and Begbie flailing away at each other in a cramped, flooding submarine compartment?
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For christmas for blu ray? I just got a blu ray player, and I don't think I'll be buying many movies. But I want this, but I don't want some fucking special edition to come out in like 2 months. And Peter Jackson is notorious about that.
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But, ummm, I really don't dig Moore at all. So I've been told my opinion in this matter doesn't count. lol
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Just having the movie will rock your Christmas night. District 9...in your living room. Imagine...
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Dance my lovers, dance.
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Talk about black folk, Asians, Muslims, Hispanics all combined don’t play the ant- card like the jews! They run the world and yet they cry victim EVERY time and it gets the United States in so much trouble it’s sickening. Israel has our politians in their pockets like their the 51st state.
Mel Gibson was right sadly and look at the price he paid for it? It would have been better if it were a black female cop, hell any other type of person than a Jewish cop.
p.s. I’ve been committing on here for yrs and I don’t care if they ban me b/c I’m sure they will b/c you can never question the chosen ones w/o being blackballed. -
Join in, zipper heads!
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Duh, you guys, Spymunk writes for andersonvision.com, Troy Andersno's website. Troy also writes for CHUD. He obviously copy and pasted Spymunks's 'LET THE RIGHT ONE IN' article, and forgot to give credit. It even has Spymunk's personal blog at the bottom of the review:
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1420/Spymunk-Lets-The-Right-One-In.html
I've warned Troy about this before. He copies and pastes entire articles and puts "written by Troy Anderson" at the top. He needs to get spanked for his naughty plagiarism. Rest assured Spymunk is a real person, I've seen his picture, and I've talked to both him and Troy Anderson independently, and they're two different people. -
I've lost count of how many times ive seen this film - and no doubt I'll watch it again and not once feel compelled to pick up the remote and press any buttons except 'volume up'. a rare gem indeed. I wont watch United 93 - why? Because the names and locations weren't changed for dramatic impact!
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I always found it funny that hot on the failure of HULK Ang lee was given a film about gay cowboys. there's no way he took that gig with out pre-bought oscars
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whats up dude, you're good people. I enjoy talking LOST with you.
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tastes like ass .... he makes lockesbrokenpenis look like the most awesome dude in the world.. I take back everything I said lockesbrokenpenis!
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...deserves to be in the top 50, as it's the most accomplished Pixar film so far. btw I did think it was "genuflectingly brilliant" & I've read Joseph Campbell too.
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There is a God.
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-------that we do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT wanna watch Mammaries humping his Harem of GOATS in Almada on camera??? YES????
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will ever be released.
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Conti rocks lol
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Kobe, I warned you but you went ahead and dug your own grave dude.
What does hell look like? Were you greeted with a lovely wet shit-smeared kiss from Divine? Forced to watch hardcore gay sex for all eternity?
Here lies ass_tastes 'pwned to death'. -
I do not care for all his antics, but I think he more than held his own and backed up his main contention. No, he was not pwned, and in this Amoebas little mind, he proved he was not comparing gay sex to 'tranny's eating feces' or whatever. I also think some of you bipedal mammals are just a wee bit too sensitive when it comes to discussions pro or con about homosexual behavior. Amoebas are all one sex baby! And we love it! Join the party!
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People either get the film and love it or they don't and hate it.
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The other Brosnan films were awful. It was due to writing and not Brosnan though.
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Dirk, I just like the image of Kobe at the gates of hell being french-kissed by Divine!
Kobe, realizing his eternal fate, opens his now shit-encrusted mouth and screams 'Noooooo!' as Divine takes him by the hand and leads him in... -
I apologize for my absence earlier--was busy today doing Professional things, fisting amateurs, and impaling shitheels with pencils.
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But after having seen Crank 2 and Black Dynamite. REDO the whole fucking thing, package the original fake trailers around those two movies, and then you've got what QT and RR were aiming for.
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If he was actually any good, he would have elevated Wolverine and Rendition so it wouldn't have been "bad for his art". Beaks,don't be a self-hating geek and assume just because he tackles genre material that he's somehow lowering himself. Look at Nolan, he took the superhero movie to a whole new level.
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It is one of the best in the franchise in fact.
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The problem with Tomorrow Never Dies and World is Not Enough were the villians. Their plots/scheme's were lame. I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE NEWSPAPER! I'M GOING TO CONTROL AN OIL PIPELINE! While Goldeneye and Die Another day were like, I'm gonna get a Satellite that can blow people up. And all the old ones where like, I'm gonna rob a huge bank or build a moonbase or something cool.
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For having the worst theme song.
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I agree with you too. I even said that i don't think he is a homophobe.
My problem is that he acts in a very boorish and condescending manner, and then get's upset when people understandably misinterpret his statements or take offense to his attitude. You have a problem watching guys together but are a firm believer in gay rights. Sure, I believe you. That's cool. But maybe when you say that you shouldn't be so flippant and use such outrageous comparisons as Pink Flamingos. And if you are going to do that, maybe not act instantly defensive and insulting to people who might have misunderstood you. It doesn't help your cause and your argument instantly calling people dicks and telling them to "swing from your nuts" when they take objection to some of your examples.
It also doesn't help your case that you are not a homophobe by throwing gay insults at an admitted homosexual tber or insinuate other TBers are queer and that being gay is a horrible condition/status and makes you a lesser person. Nope. That doesn't hurt your case at all.
Yeah, and I read his thing about fring both barrels and if someone wants to fight he'll fight. The problem with that is that he goes overboard and completely reacts. A guy gives you a crusty and you hit him with a bottle is justified; a guy gives you the finger and you shoot him isn't an appropriate response. And if Homer Sexual responds at a level 3 of aggressiveness, responding at level 8 or 9 is pretty much fucking overreacting.
And if he says that if people can't handle it, they should leave, fine. But same applies to him. If he can't stand or understand why others find him obnoxious and keep attacking him for what and how he says things, than change he can change his tune or stop acting like a victim.
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a guy gives you the finger and you shoot him IS THE ONLY appropriate response, around here.
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Taking over a newspaper? I guess that's one way to put it. Either that or a psychotic media mogul tries to start World War III by ramping up tensions between Britain and China in an attempt to control China's broadcasting rights and engineer catastrophic world events so he can make trillions selling news coverage of of them.
To me that is great. Jonathan Pryce is awesome as the villain. And Michelle Yeoh kicks all kinds of ass in the film. -
is being proved wrong today, hopefully it'll last for days...
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I thought Goldeneye was good but everything after up unitl QoS was crap. I still don't get the Casino Royale love. That movie bored the crap out of me. Reboot or not, a Bond movie should never put you to sleep.
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And a crushing was what he got.
I don't think he's a textbook homophobe either. Just a hypocrite who needed to be schooled. Lesson over. -
Kobe made a joke at the expense of Homer Sexuals identity because they were having an argument. But GQ fucking attacks Kobe specifically because of his identity, because he is Jewish. That makes you a thousand times worst GQTestes.
I hope you do get banned, it will give you more time to read Mein Kampf. -
Mostly for Rosamund Pike. Oh behave!
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Dec 07, 2009 2:57:53 PM CST
KOBE'S ACTIONS SHOULD NOT REFLECT UPON THE JEWISH COMMUNITY
by bringingsexyback
That's what the Jewish community told me.
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But that asinine sword fight in the social club was eye rolling. Bond became such a caricature under Brosnan. Sadly, he was a great Bond, he was just given wank material.
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YEAH WOW! I'm gonna take over the media to start world war 3? Good for you, normal Bond's would've been like, I'm gonna start world war three buy stealing a bunch of shit or blowing stuff up. MAYBE had he succeeded and they made a sequel that would have been good. It was just lame. Goldeneye is the best bond in my opinion.
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But I hope it let's up. I hate jogging in the rain.
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Zooey Deschanel, naturally.
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I don't think Bond girls are suppose to be neurotic hipsters who dress like they are starring in an old navy or gap ad?
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Of the book Moonraker. And Jesus, having a white guy play a Korean who had plastic surgery? Fuck, that was almost as bad as when the Punisher was changed into a black guy in the comics.
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Though with her being Vegan there's no chance of that. But one can dream.
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When asked why he was screwing around with so many women, Tiger responded, "Well I was hoping to complete 18 holes in just 68 strokes."
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They even made Rick Yune white. What the fuck is with Hollywood?
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Carver, the villain, didn't start WWIII by taking over the media. He tries to start WWIII by using a badass stealth ship with a sea drill, stolen missles, and a GPS encoder developed by a techno-terrorist to make the British and Chinese think they are blowing each other's shit up. Thus causing a war between the two that would result in a Chinese regime receptive to his news outlets and allow him to continue engineering world conflict in order to make trillion of dollars selling news about them. It's scarily believable, which the plots of all the best bond movies are. But if you prefer campy and prepostureously stupid Ron Moore RakerPussy plots, more power to you.
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You already got a white girl. Why you need more?
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Yah then comes that voice NAGGING at you. Bond's fighting bad guys and she just like, Ugh you are boring me. Do everything for me, I'm too lazy to be interesting myself I'm just gonna nag you.
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I'm all about solutions to vexing problems.
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And I agree with HOD that QoS was better than Casino Royale but I love them both.
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YES PLEASE!
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whichever you prefer.
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To see a Bond about shit that could actually happen? Its just boring.
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of the next Austin Powers movie.
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Fucking professional body.
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Bazooms Bond!
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...and a tree...Said Tiger..."I couldn't decide, a wood or an iron!"
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Sincerely asking, wasn't trying to be aggressive, just wanted to say that one couldn't claim to be cool with a group of people, but say they'd never go see a movie featuring that group of people. And others have pointed out that contradiction.
I would think any homo who wouldn't see a movie that had straight sexuality in it was weird as well.
I didn't think we were having an argument, I really just said one thing that I don't think was so terrible. But I am glad to have increased the thread.
Amoeba, I personally think the later posts destroyed his point. He should have left well enough alone. As should I, but still gonna make this post.
When I got pwned was when I said Ninja Scroll was one of the best from this decade. Now I need to check all my DVDs to make sure I know when those movies originally came out.
But for this year, my favorite movie was Bruno because it was really uncomfortable to everyone. Most comedies and everything these days is so safe, but Bruno went after everyone. I think the fact that both pro-gay and anti-gay movies hate it shows just how great a work of art it was. And, unlike Borat, I felt that way after second viewing as well. -
Ever see Hendricks in those two episodes of Firefly? Grrr...
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Can't wait to see her nekid in The Rum Diary.
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She made that boxed set worth owning. What an amazing creature.
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...and I don't mean that figuratively.
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She's allergic to all clothing in that film. Check it out!
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Dec 07, 2009 3:32:43 PM CST
I can't beleive Hendricks married that dude from SUPER TROOPERS
by yackbacker
The one that was in it for two minutes... fucking guy!
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Christina Hendricks is in your hearts.
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Dec 07, 2009 3:35:32 PM CST
Hendricks would indeed be the perfect Moneypenny
by hawaiian organ donor
When Tiger receives a blowjob he bends at the knees & follows through.What's the difference between Tiger Woods on the golf course and Tiger Woods banging a ho? On the golf course he pumps his fist AFTER the money shot.
Who's the best golfer in the world? Tiger's wife. She can beat him with a 3 iron and one swing.
Tiger was recently spotted at the urologist's office. Turns out it wasn't the type of clap he usually gets from the gallery.Despite his recent transgressions, its expected that Tiger will rededicate himself to his profession and come back stronger than ever. In fact, rumors have it that he is already practicing for the Ryder Cup. -
...clad work right away. That body is a force of nature but it can't last forever.We that thoroughly documented...for the sake of future generations.
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FORE!
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Where did you read that? Amber in The rum Diary nekkid?
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It's really coming down hard now...
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Or maybe she made a pass at Tiger, I can't remember the story to be honest...
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HST's novel. If you read it, which I highly recommend, there is a chapter in which her character, a premiscuous French chick, dances nude in a sea of dudes at a carnival celebration and gets (we're led to believe) gang banged. It's a pivotal point in the book.
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I was only using that as an example. I could someone reading your commits and feeling that you were being slightly condescending or insulting - slightly - but I don't anyone would see it as a full blown attack. My major criticism is no matter if you intended it to be a jab at someone or not, many of us saw the level of response to be unwarranted.
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If not it will pretty much ruin it for me.
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I'm going to brave this weather and go to the gym.
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But I might not go to the gym. Supposed to let up tomorrow and Wed and rain again starting Thursday. Perfect movie watching weather except for...damn job!
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http://tinyurl.com/yb6ujal
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Better take a Zodiak with you, just in case.
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Agree with the earlier post - the closet thing to tasteful porn was THAT SCENE in Mulholland Drive. Still incredibly...arousing.
Lynch's finest. FACT. -
Just airing my hopes of ZODIAC being at least in the top 20. As I am addicted to that movie.
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Allow me to introduce you to Yellow Journalism and the Spanish-American War. In the 1890s, the US started to take an intense interest in the liberation of Cuba from Spain (not as altruistic as you might think, we weren't trying to free them from their colonial overlords, we were thinking we could sweep in and take over ourselves instead). In 1898 we parked the USS Maine in Havana. On February 15th, the USS Maine exploded and sank. The US alleged that it was sunk by a mine in the harbor. The sinking of the USS Maine was used as the casus belli in declaring war against Spain ("Remember the Maine! To hell with Spain!") Yellow Journalism, practiced as an art form by William Randolph Hearst was used to motivate the public into support for the war. A very common apocryphal anecdote is that Hearst's photographer in Havana sent Hearst a telegraph telling him that nothing much was going on, and that he wanted to come home. Hearst's reply was supposedly, "You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war," clearly implying that Hearst's newspaper empire would guarantee that their coverage of the USS Maine's sinking would motivate the public into support for the war. While this exchange is not believed to have actually occurred, the quote is considered illustrative of how much power the newspapers had at the time to manipulate public opinion. No serious historian or journalist today doubts that it was the manipulated and propagandized coverage of the USS Maine's destruction that moved public opinion into supporting the war. So, no, it is not out of the realm of possibility of slanted news coverage to motivate people into supporting an ill-advised war. And I haven't even talked about the run-up to the Iraq war and how the media supported it then too. As an aside, investigations of the explosion since the war have concluded that no mine was involved, and that it was likely the Maine's own powder stores that ignited and destroyed the ship. Oops. Oh well, the US got what it wanted, dominion over Cuba by the end of the war.
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We've devolved into the Spanish-American War!!!!!!!
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a rather transparent combination of all the ones who came before - a touch of Connery swagger, Moore suavity and smugness, and Dalton's solemnity (not to mention the wooden male mannequin acting of Lazenby) - all rolled into one calculated package. He brought very little to the role IMO, and I was glad to see the back of him, though he was certainly given terrible material below even his meagre standards.
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Site issues? Some of the posts say short updates were a necessity today. Or maybe they're lettin' some steam blow off? Things got a bit heated yesterday, methinks. Don't know, but I was expecting it this morning as well.
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Tiger Woods drives well in the fairway, but doesn't fair well in the driveway. Heard that on the radio this morning. Made me chuckle.
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...mean to be preachy about it. But when someone is clearly trolling we all need to realize that the appropriate response is no response. What somebody think about a made up screen name and some characters attached to it on a movie gossip site is really of no importance in the grand scheme of things. Ya know?
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ainticool.com was a mess today. Beaks, bring part 3 asap!
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I've had people e-mailing about this. Someone give me the rundown about what's going on because all I'm hearing is random tidbits of crazy fuck-all.
Great article, Beaks. Sorry for all the nutty bullshit down here. -
is that it is lazy.
Everyone can tell Beaks put no effort into this whatsoever. -
offers no perspective- I personally disagree with Beaks' approach to this list in that regard. But I wouldn't go so far to call it lazy. Poorly executed in some ways, absolutely.
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...out a list of 100 films. Given them numbers and done one post with the films in reverse order. At least we get some idea behind what he thought of the films with the cut and paste reviews. I think the perspective is that, after a decade of watching films - many of which he wrote reviews for at one place or another - this is the order he'd place his top 100. But still, maybe it would have seemed more genuine if he'd just left out the reviews and done a couple paragraphs on why he was placing each film where he did.
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Everything I stated was sad but true. They give us more grief than anybody and they play the victim like nobody else. To some it sounds harsh I’m sure but it’s the truth and you know it. Gibson wasn’t at a press conference or talking to a reporter. He was drunk and made an ass of himself just like every other movie star would.
If the cop was anybody else it wouldn’t have been that big of deal. But since Hollywood is run by a certain ‘group’ and controls just about every aspect of the media he got blackballed and played a major, gargantuan price and his reputation is ruined forever b/c he was intoxicated and went off on a cop for taking him to jail.
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This is the only response I will make to your ridiculous, callous and clearly uneducated assertions. The persecution of the Jewish people (of which I am not) has absolutely NOTHING to do with Mel Gibson, dude. What you're saying is just plain silly and clearly labels you as an outed anti-semite. If that's your thing, in my opinion you don't deserve any further response as this is simply not the place for it. Otherwise, try reading this http://tinyurl.com/2vf7ly or this http://tinyurl.com/yjp7mow and then post again about how everything you stated is "true". Geeeez already.
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Cuba Gooding Jr. jizzing out of the porthole > Chaplin eating a boot
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Don't talk about it but it's definitely one of the decade's best as well. I enjoy movies that are hard to define, I think... Bruno, Mulholland Drive, Fight Club... thought provoking, ambiguous without being incomprehensible.
No Bond movies should really be in the decade's top 100. Unless that decade is the 60's. The best Bonds were the early 70's, but competition that decade would be too stiff. Bond of the 80's was dreadful, and since then have been workmanlike. Genre, I suppose. -
FIGHT CLUB came out in 1999. It most definitely was one of the top 100 of the 90's though! It's a fucking classic, no doubt's there.
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...I won't take this list seriously. Period.
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It falls apart without the altered chronology. There, I said it. And this is coming from someone who loves Nolan's post-Memento work and rated all four films 9/10 (keeping company with 24 other films rated a 9, and 18 films rated a 10 for the decade).
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Clearly the 90's were much better than the 00's have been, since I keep putting out films from the wrong decade.
Memento isn't from the 90's? That is one of my all-time favorite movies. I don't know if calling the altered chronology a "gimmick" is fair, since it's kind of the whole concept of the movie. I love that one, definitely one of my top ten. When did it come out? -
...saw release at festivals in 2000, and received a limited release in the US in 2001. It is a 2000s film. I wasn't a film snob back in the '90s so I can't definitively provide an answer as to which decade was better, but a survey of my DVD shelves shows the '00s being MUCH better. In fact, plethora of incredible foreign films this decade, I'm going to say that not only were the aughts the golden age for television, they were also the golden age for film (and that will hopefully continue in the teens). Assuming you're looking in the right places, of course.
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In fact, _with the_ plethora...
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