Hey folks, Harry here with the first DVD column of the last month of 2009. Wouldn’t call this the best lineup ever, but it does have some fun stuff. There’s some shit too. As always, the links and pics will whisk you to Amazon where you can learn more on the titles included and you can purchase the item you’re gazing at. If you felt so inclined, we’d be grateful – since we’d get a small kick back out of your purchase price which helps keep the column going. So, let’s get on with it…

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN

You know, for a series that is a complete ripoff of a vastly superior Betty Boop cartoon… I was hoping for better. I know, the very idea of Ben Stiller family comedy set in a museum where everything comes to life sounds like a ridiculous set up for an even worse movie – and I know there’s a lot of families that seem to enjoy this – but it is still such disposable work, so lacking in any real sense of anything memorable. Has moments, but nothing lasting. That said, the Blu-Ray is loaded with tons of extras, which would pretty much answer all the questions you have about this masterpiece of sh sh sh sh shhh, its for the kiddies. Isn’t that what they say?

TERMINATOR SALVATION (Director’s Cut)

Contrary to popular belief, I’m going to recommend this Blu Ray. Why? Well… Simply. Watching McG in WB Maximum Movie Mode as he explains this clusterfuck of a film… well, it is easily one of the most entertaining Blu Ray experiences that I have had. Now what I find interesting is that he did this over the Theatrical Version of the film. On the 2nd Blu Ray disc – he has the Director’s cut, a mere 3 minutes extended (no, not the best 3 minutes ever seen by mankind) and rated R. Why, if that’s his Director’s cut… does he not have his big, explaining and hosting of his film experience be on the version that he claims is his cut? I’m thinking of recording a “MY COMMENTARY” and uploading it. But frankly, I don’t want to watch it again. Ever. Now – I’m not suggesting you buy the blu-ray. I suggest you rent it. Cuz to do otherwise is to condone. A rental can be an itch scratched. The end of a curiosity. To buy is to state, I spent _______ part of my life to earn the money to OWN this movie for the rest of my life.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: XVI (limited edition)

Featuring the features THE CORPSE VANISHES, WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD, SANTA CLAUS, NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST along with a chapter of RADAR MEN FROM THE MOON which featured Commander Cody aka Rocket Man. You get a Tom Servo toy, which is pretty cool. And extras? Here ya go:

* New interview with "Warrior of the Lost World" director David Worth
* Santa Claus Conquers the Devil: A 50-Year Retrospective
* Santa Claus original radio spot
* Santa Claus still gallery
* Teaser trailer for "Wonder World of K. Gordon Murray in Colorscope"
* Night of the Blood Beast Turkey Day host segments
* Turkey Day `95 bumpers
* Original theatrical trailers
* Four exclusive MST3K lobby cards by artist Steve Vance

SNATCH (Blu Ray)

I remember sitting down with Guy Ritchie, Matthew Vaughn, Moriarty and Harry Lime to discuss bringing this movie to its respective BNAT. At that point, I had no idea that Guy and Madonna were a thing, and I remember it was their marriage that kept Guy from being able to come to BNAT. So sad. That said, there is nothing sad about this Blu Ray. This week we get the two great Guy Ritchie films that we must all have on Blu Ray, right? Or are you part of that crowd that just hates him? Because, I’ve never been a part of that camp. Me, I’m in the camp that fucking loves Brad Pitt’s crazy boxing gypsy role. And that moment where… well, you know. What a fucking performance! I love SNATCH…. And I’m proud to state it proudly. And all you SNATCH HATERS… weak man. Weak.

THE GREEN MILE (Blu Ray)

Never received a screener for this. But you’ll get a commentary from Frank Darabont. You’ll see Michael Clarke Duncan’s screen test. Tom Hanks’ makeup tests and a doc on the making of the film – and a case study about creating the teaser trailer. All these book editions have been great. I’m sure this will be great whenever I get it. Its officially the time of the year where I can no longer purchase things for myself. Sadness. This is a title I’d love though, Santa.

LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS (Blu Ray)

The second I knew that the head bad guy was a Porn King called Harry… this movie had me. But when everything else snapped together, it just made me smile. I showed this to Yoko the other day, who was similarly taken with the flick. I do feel SNATCH is the better film though I have quite an affection for this title as being what introduced me to Guy’s work.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: The Complete Fifth Season

For many original SNL geeks, this set completes their run of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, and for them, the show never existed in it’s greater glory again. The 5th Season was the last season for many of the original cast members and behind the scenes folks that made SNL the greatest greatest thing ever. And then… it was the Eighties… Now for me, that was Season 4. Because when Aykroyd and Belushi left… I was heart broken. But I still loved Season 5, mainly because if you like Bill Murray – this was the season where he sat front row center for most of the season. The hosts and music groups are stellar – and it really is a hilarious season. Enjoy!!!

LEGEND OF ZORRO & THE MASK OF ZORRO (Blu Ray)

If you’re gonna get the Banderas ZORRO films on Blu-Ray – this is the way to go. You get both BluRays. The films are beautiful transfers, but I have to say… these films don’t age well for me. While there’s some nice action here… I honestly feel the action in the TV series, every serial and previous feature film version. Well, frankly I feel they are superior. That said, I am a ZORRO freak, and freaks are completists, but this isn’t a high rotation title for me.

THE ROLLING STONES: GIMME SHELTER (Criterion) (Blu Ray)

This is one of those films that just fucks with anyone that has survived an incident. The image of images of the film for me, is when Mick realizes that there really was a crazy man pointing a gun at him that the Hell’s Angels guy stabbed dead. And it is haunting. Albert & David Maysles capture a bit of Sixties insanity forever. Can you imagine had Mick Jagger been assassinated at Altamont? Instead, we get visual proof that in the sixties… the Rolling Stones were headlining this gigantic free concert in response to WOODSTOCK – outside San Francisco. Somewhere along the way, they decided to hire the fucking HELL’S ANGELS to run security for them. A crazy man in a CRAZY SUIT and a big fucking gun seems to be struggling to aim a gun at Mick Jagger as he’s on stage… but a member of the Hell’s Angels knifed him dead. This shit happened. It’s part of our history, recorded, documented and then released into theaters. Where it basically showed the world that we may very well live in a world where perhaps… it could be deadly to go to a rock concert. That perhaps metal detectors and weapons searches might be a wise thing for society, because the world is a violent and scary place where someone, for some reason… could have killed Mick Jagger while throwing a free concert outside San Francisco. This film kills me. Watching it in tandem with WOODSTOCK & MONTERRY POP it is the ultimate third act. Brilliant film. And then you have the extras from Criterion:

New high-definition digital transfer
Exclusive Dolby Digital and DTS 5.1 surround sound mixes
Audio commentary with Albert Maysles and Charlotte Zwerin and Stanley Goldstein
Performances by Rolling Stones at Madison Square Garden 1969
Performances of "Little Queenie," "Oh Carol," and "Prodigal Son"
Backstage outtakes at Madison Square Garden
Excerpts from KSAN (1969) with intro by DJ Stefan Ponek
Altamont stills gallery (featuring Bill Owens and Beth Sunflower)
Original re-release theatrical trailer
Plus: A booklet with essays by Jagger's assistant Georgia Bergman and more

PAPER HEART

If you have ever written a review for AICN, or commented on this site for years… You should pick this film up! Why? Well, Nicholas Jasenovec once wrote some festival reviews from Sundance back in the day – and he got all growed up and made a rather amazing romantic comedy, which convincingly seems real and authentic as a document of true love between Michael Cera and Charlyne Yi. The result is the best film and performance of Michael Cera’s career to date – and a rather amazing look at Charlyne Yi, who is suddenly so much more than that stoned giggly chick on the couch in KNOCKED UP. I really do love this film. I’ve watched it once at home already, but can’t wait to cuddle up with the missus and let her discover it.

A CHRISTMAS TALE (Criterion) (Blu Ray)

I missed this on original release. I don’t believe it ever played Austin. I wish it had. The film is absolutely remarkable. I find that I’m not really able to sum it up for you right now though. I’ve only just finished it, the film is seriously all over the place, but in the best possible way. It isn’t light. But it doesn’t wallow in the dark long either. There are characters, whose voices instantly make me smile, and characters that force me to study them with intense curiosity. But the sum of everything that this film does to you is enormous. It is a beautiful and lovely film – and yes – the Blu treatment is stunning here. This is one of those films that most of us get to discover because of Criterion. They become the Distributor to us all… and bless them. This is a movie worth sharing with others. Here’s the extras:

New, restored high-definition digital transfer
L'aimee: Desplechin's 2007 documentary
New documentary featuring interviews with Desplechin and actors
Original theatrical trailers
New and improved English subtitle translation
PLUS: A booklet featuring an essay by critic Philip Lopate

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT III, IV, & V (Box Set)

The fourth chapter of this astonishing cinematic santa saga… is probably the most praise worthy of them all, simply for what you’ll see in the film. Trust me. Of course, these need to be your kind of movies for you to even enjoy them. So if you love to see the Holidays perverted into something as perverse as this… then wrap this up, it goes in your stocking!

SECONDHAND LIONS (Blu Ray)

Another wonderful film from long time BNATTER, Tim McCanlies. Beyond that enormous personal acheivment which he holds far above any of his amazing accomplishments as a screenwriter or director… SECONDHAND LIONS is a damn fine film! I mean. Damn, once you land Michael Caine and Robert Duvall… and then you pad out the cast with hacks like Haley Joel Osment, Nicky Katt and Kyra Sedgwick… I mean, damn… doesn’t that just make life hard? Now, I never got a screener of this – so I can’t tell ya much about the disc, but I am looking forward to picking this one up. It is a wonderful film. FAR Better Family entertainment than NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM.

GREMLINS (Blu Ray)

As you watch it. It feels like THE BEST MOVIE EVER! Then, when you lay down to sleep, and the lights are out… you may find yourself coo-ing a familiar melody. This movie is one of my favorite Christmas movies ever made. Its about best intentions gone wrong, and how… even if the world is littered with the bodies of your neighbors, your local movie theater is blown up and the YMCA… forget about it. But even if all that happens… if at the end of the hell night, you can cuddle up with Phoebe Cates… you’re a fucking winner! And life is your oyster! But fucking Kevin Kline has the oyster. And he’ll never set his oyster free to be mine! But one day, he’ll die, and I’ll have a perfect alibi. And then, perhaps I’ll have a merry Christmas… Gremlins style.

DEATH WARRIOR

Remember that shit that Robert Duvall was watching in THX 1138, when he hooked that whackoff machine to his cock? DEATH WARRIOR is a lot like that shit, but in color. Men beating fuck out of each other. Then hot naked women. Repeat 8 times and you have DEATH WARRIOR. The fights look like shit. The tits, I’ll not lie, they’re pretty awesome tits. But, it is so loud and annoying all around it that I can’t help but think… WHAT THE FUCK? Really? This is on Blu Ray? Oh yeah, tits, YEAH! This is on BLU RAY, but why’d you make it? Tits. Oh yeah… tits. I guess tits give you a lot of latitude. Which has TIT in it too! Oh and the new B.A. Baracus is in this too.

Next week, we’ll be back with HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE, JULIE & JULIA, LOST Season 5 (how fucking great is this!), PUBLIC ENEMIES, THE COVE, WORLD’S GREATEST DAD, AK 100: 25 Films of Akira Kurosawa (Criterion mega awesome collection), WHILE SHE WAS OUT (Blu), RUN BITCH RUN, 5 FINGERS, JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER (blu), BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON (blu), The Brigitte Bardot Classic Collection, GOZU 2-disc and that’s about it. But with that AK100 set… I’ve got my work cut out for me with smiles!