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Capone loves NINJA ASSASSIN because it's about a ninja assassin...with a fetish for blood!!!
Hey, everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
The other night, someone texted me that they saw a TV spot for NINJA ASSASSIN that featured quotes from me, which I'm delighted to hear because when I saw this film at Fantastic Fest in September, it stomped and sliced my ass so hard I still have bruises and scars. From director James McTeigue (who directed V FOR VENDETTA and did second-unit stuff galore for all three MATRIX films and SPEED RACER) comes this magnificent celebration of violence and gore. It also features a star-making turn by South Korean sensation Rain, who could absolutely be the next huge action star in this and all nations. NINJA ASSASSIN commits early to saturating the screen and your brain with blood and never lets up. You have to admire that.
The story is about a young boy named Raizo, who has been trained by the Ozunu Clan since youth to endure unspeakable pain and groomed to be the ultimate ninja assassin. The assassin clan is so secret that most believe it is an urban legend meant to keep people in line. When his closest friend is killed by the clan, Raizo leaves them and goes into hiding. But years later, the merciless clan surfaces and begins a killing spree for reasons that are unclear to those investigating the excessively bloody murders, including Interpol agents Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris from 28 DAYS LATER and the second and third PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN films) and her boss Ryan Maslow (Ben Miles). One of the more interesting aspect to NINJA ASSASSIN is the way it pits old world ninja techniques against modern-day crime-fighting technology. Have you every wondered how the ninja ability to hide in the shadows would match up against an enemy with night-vision goggles? We sure do find out.
The plot of NINJA ASSASSIN is perhaps unnecessarily complex, as we get bits of information about money trails and ties between big business, world governments, and this deadly assassin ring. But all that really matters is that ninjas can hurl dozens of throwing stars at once and shred a man's body completely; they can even total his car using the same method. Despite McTeigue being the director and the Wachowski Brothers being the film's producers, this isn't a movie that I could easily identify as being from the people who brought us THE MATRIX movies. This is a rough exercise in brutality--ripping and cutting of skin, body parts flying, eye-popping martial arts that seem based on reality even when they are being assisted by special effects. And make no mistake, there is certainly some CGI going on here, but most often it is cleverly and subtly used. And when it's not so subtle, it's usually because there is so much gore that sprinklers couldn't pump it out fast enough.
What I liked most about NINJA ASSASSIN is its wild abandon. Gone are the stiff philosophy-based plot lines of THE MATRIX movies and anarchy-charged atmosphere of V FOR VENDETTA. This movie is about kicking maximum ass with the maximum number of gouges, slices, dismemberments and other traumatic events that the body can suffer. And it seems utterly clear to me that McTeigue is enjoying himself immensely. When the film gets around to pairing Harris and Rain to do battle with the assassin clan, NINJA ASSASSIN launches into a symphony of blood the likes of which I've never seen in a modern-day studio work. It's exquisite and made me hungry for more. This film would be so easy to sequel-ize, and I hope that happens immediately. I really had a lot of wicked fun with NINJA ASSASSIN.
-- Capone
therealcapone@aintitcoolmail.com
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here comes the whining. :P
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Better have a Hong Kong director direct a ninja movie.
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I, however, am a ninja assassin with a fetish for playboy bunny outfits and chicks vacuuming naked.
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Must be a subconscious expression of the need to get laid.
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Doe's he wank off in a bath of pigs blood whilst sucking on it's eyeballs and thrusting his cock in and out of it's snout and tickling his anus with it's curly tail? Doe's He!!
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No way I'm paying to see this shit.
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I just read a review yesterday that was really down on the film and I decided that it would now be a rental. After reading this review, it is being described as exactly something I want to see. Capone made no mention of the action scenes being "unwatchable" like another review I read. Now I'm curious...dammit!
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This is a perfect template for the Wachowskis to adapt. Not only did the game take inspiration from the Matrix. Its plot is complex and even makes Dan Brown's novels look like kiddie stores.
Try playing it and you'd know what I mean. With Ninja Assassin, it's like the Wachowskis lost their creative mojo.
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McTeigue: "I definitely liked the way NINJA SCROLL dealt with blood, but also VIDEO GAMES. I wanted it to be a confluence of the two."
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So there better be killing going on!
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It's either this, or watching Old Dogs.
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Sometimes I get sick of having philosophical bullshit stuffed down my throat. Once in a while, I just want to see some fucking dismemberment! Bring on the violence!
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in one trailer, I thought I caught a glimpse of Russel Wong. Was I mistaken, because he would be a pleasant surprise in this film. I never understood why he never seemed to get very many roles in Hollywood. I used to watch Wandering Son all the time, and he was by far the best part of Romeo Must Die...
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Just like PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, this fucking bastard gives us a glowing review extolling the movie, but if you actually go see it and it sucks, don't bother coming back and pointing it out to Capone because he'll tell you YOU FELL FOR THE MARKETING HYPE SO IT'S YOUR FAULT.What a fucking joke. Twat.
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Still gotta say that.
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PLEASE FUCK OFF
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This movie has way too much Matrix type effects to ever be considered a good Ninja or Martial arts film. All the action is very dark and hard to see and all the blood is cgi. This was disappointing.
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I don't care about the plot, I just want to see someone get fucked. Also, I thought it was Rising Son?
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if you are referring to the Russel Wong t.v. show, we are both wrong-It was actually called Vanishing Son...pretty much a direct rip-off of kung fu-but still entertaining...
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There needs to be a plot. Otherwise this is just the Ninja/human warrior version of Transformers, action action action, and no plot. Once again Massawyrm is the voice of reason on this website. Awaiting for all the other dick suck reviews from the other AICN contributers...
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Massa said it was shot poorly. Yet Capone loved the action. Damn it.
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I'm still probably gonna wait for the screener to leak but I am still kinda sorta interested in this...
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Whatever about this, but Paranormal Activity just comes down to you either bought the movie, or you didn't. Don't blame Capone if you didn't like it. Its like those stupid old e-mails where it tells you to stare at something for like 30 minutes and then something pops up on the screen and yells. If you feel for those then you will like Paranormal Activity, if you didn't then you won't.
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Most of the fight scenes are indoors, so it does get a bit Bourne-ish with tight shots, but there is a shitload of (cgi) blood. One or two fight scenes did make me wonder where all the blood was going, since it wasn't falling on the floor. Although, there is a pretty badass bathroom fight that has plenty of non-cgi blood.I'd have probably liked it more sitting at home watching this with friends and a few beers.
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its true
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How hard is it to round up a few gallons of corn syrup?
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Nov 25, 2009 6:39:19 PM CST
Did no one get an Aliens vibe from the Ninjas vs. Special OPS?
by hollywoodhellraiser
One of many infamous scenes from Aliens that had them coming out the walls to attack the Marines!Ninja Assassin looks badass!
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A good short-lived tv series that was full of kicks, drama, and heart!You felt when he tried repeatedly to steer his brother on a good path, but ultimately failed!Very good tv series that I've never forgotten about!
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That's all you really need to know about the movie.
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Massaworm is wrong..completely. You do not go see a film called Ninja Assassin for the damn story. The fighting is awesome and you CAN tell what is going on! This movie was so damn badass! Capone gave a spot on review! Go see this movie!
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And yes, for some reason that show always stuck with me too. Maybe it was because I watched it with my bro....
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I'm calling for a moratorium on homoerotic action films. Jeez, guys, I know it's cool to get buff and the chicks dig it, but I would really rather see ass kicking than gay porn.
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.....however it was the ONLY review quoted, coupled with some of the other people's reactions, idk if this is worth seeing or if I should wait for it to be @ the cheapie theatre, where they're currently playing zombieland.
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How the FUCK is this a homoerotic movie? You fucking moron. Wouldn't DIE HARD be a fucking homoerotic movie because the main guy never wears a shirt?
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Good director too, V For Vendetta wasnt perfect by any means but it was pretty good, it excites me that this guy wants to take over the SUperman franchise.
Imagine the possiblities there! -
Would you ask him to put his shirt back on just because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Who is the real shirt-lifter here Gun?
He would -
The bad CGI in the tv spots also made me not want to see this in the theatre. Might rent it tho.
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It's not about liking or not liking the movie. If people complained PARANORMAL was shit and Capone felt differently (which he clearly did), all he had to was say "well I enjoyed it, I'm sorry you didn't."Instead, this sorry fat piece of shit tells us we "fell for the marketing hype" (it may not be word for word but that is a fair quote of it) after his own retarded review sent half the site to go see it. If you are going to actively promote a movie, you have to be ready to defend it when people disagree, to say "way to buy into it" after you fucking advertised it is about as hypocritical as it gets.
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Nov 26, 2009 4:41:10 PM CST
this is the most embarassingly incorrect review i've read in yea
by warrene33
(SPOILERS)
-He was groomed to be a ninja. the title refers to the twist that he becomes a rogue who assassinates ninjas. wasn't this obvious?
- I thought the plot was pretty lightweight and simple. ninja still exist, and when anyone looks into them they are silenced. Unless our hero is there. money trails and government coverups are secondary to the main story of Raizo. We are investigating him alongside the bookworman. (a scene about modern day equivalent of 100 pounds of gold is just that. why was this confusing?).
- the joyful part of the plot that you fail to mention: is that ninja have never gone away. It seeks to convince you that it's possible ninja still operate everyday. I felt much love for the filmmakers for trying to update the genre. Like kill bill, i felt the filmmakers were trying to ressurrect filmmaking that has been overlooked and done poorly for years.
- The other major joy of this movie, which you fail to mention, lies in all these 70's era (shaw brothers) magic powers. healing by concentrating. hearts placed in wrong place. sensing how floor will bend while walking on it. ninja vanishing. etc.)
-the clan doesn't resurface and go on a killing spree. wrong. some bookworm is pursuing a pet theory about assassinations that have taken place for years. the whole point of ninja is that they are whispered about. In fact if you ask "how could ninja exist in modern times without someone knowing?" you might note "maybe raizo keeps killing them."
-while no heavy philosophy or politics is present, the main theme seemed to be about connecting to your heart. "growing how you need to grow". some people need to grow a heart on the right side of their chest. some people need to defy their bosses and keep looking into mysteries.
-the constant cheap CGI is ridiculously in your face, fucking up the fight scenes. The 5 minutes of camcorder'd practice footage that was released (on this site) was the best trailer for this movie that I could imagine. And then we get to that scene and it's horribly chopped up and confused.
-I think that is the main complaint someone needs to mention: this movie was horribly over edited!
Felt like the director wanted to pay homage to old chop sockey, but couldn't let the camera sit still during the intense violence.
-maybe it was poorly projected at my local digital theatre? seemed it was often way too black and was cutting so fast all you could make out were some shiny sparkles. Like an Uwe Boll film! Which made the cg enhancement of the swinging chain knife seem more like a last minute fix to help comprehension. bleh.
(Plus many of the shots looked cheap. Like "Straight to video" cheap. Not lit consistently with the rest of the scene cheap).
-seemed like they had the same fake ass silicon shit for the kid's sliced feet (and the adult's chest slashes) that was used for Captain Mifune's face in the third matrix. I hate that shit. Wounds look like that for a few seconds before they overflow with with blood. Letting them sit there bloodless makes it feel like halloween wax bullshit.
-i still really enjoyed the movie. Was just suprised by how cheap they chose to go. there were some really sweet shots at the end (paper walls burning) which they skipped over quickly. whyyyyyy?? felt like mood was thrown out the window in favor of spasming strobe-like american action bullshit. (we cut it like that in America - because the actors can't do the action. why embarass your action star that can actually do it all in one take? whyyyy). hmmf.
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Blurry shaky cam held right up to the backs of prancing men in black pajamas in totally dark scenes except the occasional glinting silver object and some shitty cgi blood drips for 10 minute intervals at a time. No choreography / action / coherency / fighting, just a mess. And yes the super thin lead looks like he is in a boy band and when he takes his shirt off it is to excite viewers looking for some homoerotic wank material, his musculature is not used for fighting it is for ballerina dance moves as he spins around in the dark. And the non-ninja actors going through the motions of the cliched "plot" are cringe inducing, as are the moments with the ludicrous super ninjas who are (unseen) invincible bullet dodging killers until they go against our characters and they line up to get killed by our "hero", or the black lady flails a little pistol about not even aiming and shoots the ninja on the roof of her car in the foot, or when the "toughest" non-hero ninja has knocked the hero down for a split second, only to get hit by the ass end of the car the black lady is driving and go flying off like in a bugs bunny cartoon. Complete fucking waste of time, no action or entertainment value of any kind.
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sorry, but it did. the first half setting it up was interesting then it became so fucking cliche. not to metion, when will h-wood get the memo that Interpol is pretty much just a paper pushing agency? man, this movie coulda been straight to dvd!
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As someone else said the overediting of the fights got to be very annoying.
One sequence in particular reminded me of the big cgi fight at the beginnning of the 2nd Matrix film, where every couple seconds they'd do a freeze frame slomo effect so you could see cgi Neo swing a cgi guy in suit around knocking a bunch of other cgi guys in suits over.
Only this time in Ninja Assassin every couple seconds they'd cut to a slomo shot and simultaneously zoom in on our ninja hero's face while he did some badass cgi enhanced ninja move which you can't quite follow because they cut to slomo and a goddamn closeup.
Ugh. -
"his musculature is not used for fighting it is for ballerina dance moves as he spins around in the dark."
What does this even mean? Are you saying somebody with that build can't be a fighter? Or only dancers should look like that? -
So it's not Citizen Kane with actual blood? What the fuck do people expect from this movie? I'm going with The Dum Guy's review here. He actually made sense and told me what he thought in 4 lines and didn't reveal any plot or sequences. I'm seeing it tomorrow. FUCK THE HATERS. Bunch of pirates I tell ya.
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This filmed kicked so much ass that the ass kicked doesn't even know how many times it was kicked. The love story is done really well, the action sequences are crazy, the ninjas act like the Shadows from B5, no surprise with who the writer is and the plot is good enough. Rotten Tomatoes is obviously full of pussies who can not the manliness of this film. In my top five of the year. Fuck Transformers 2, Fuck GI Joe, Fuck Wolverine, this movie is the bad ass action film of the summer.
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It's NINJA ASSASSIN, you should know what you're getting. I liked the blood (it's very Planet Terrorish) the action scenes are sick and it's just a FUN fucking movie man. The only real problem I had was it drags a bit at the start, other than that, it's a great kung fu movie with EXCELLENT fights.
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I was in the theater and thinking of the criticism I had read here. First was: "Its to dark." Sitting at the computer I couldn't think of why this didn't sit well with me but as I sat watching I realized..THEY ARE FUCKIN NINJAS. They attack from shadows at night. OF COURSE ITS GONNA BE DARK! Then there was: "The CGI blood." Well to get a good look at night and in the rain this is what had to be done. There is plenty of "real blood" in there as well so that is just nit picking. Finally: "Shaky cam." This I can't argue. In fact I saw the traffic sequence early and it didn't bother me but on the big screen it was distracting. This is the "B" movie of the year. Not fuckin Bad Lieutenant. You didn't like it? I think you forget yourself.
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It was total ass-kickery. The complaints are really all nonsense. If you don't know what you are getting walking into the theatre, you're a damn fool.
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Touched a nerve, eh? I actually don't recall whether Bruce Willis was shirtless throughout Die Hard. Perhaps you could loan me a copy from your collection of oily-torso action films. You'll probably find it there with 300, Top Gun, and The Covenant - right next to your box of Kleenexes and bottle of hand lotion. Be sure it's not too sticky when you put in the mail.
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Now THAT had some of the most horrendous FX I've ever seen. CGI blood, goofy video game looking chase across the Tokyo rooftops, Hulked Out Vampires that seemed to have skipped the skin texture rendering process. Worst off all the badly shot fight scenes. I'M SICK OF FIGHTS SEENS WHERE YOU CAN BARELY MAKE OUT WHATS GOING ON!! Is it so hard to point the camera at the meticulously choreographed fight scene so I can appreciate the work that went into it and the martial arts skill on display? Why do you have to look to Asian cinema to see fight scenes shot like Hollywood used to know how to? This sound like another Blood to me.
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Um, first of why? And second off No!
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... but all the complaints about the fights scene being "too dark" can easily be answered: they're ninjas. Concealment is a major part of their advantage. Having fight scenes in well-lit places would pretty much be anti-ninja.
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This is what the martial arts world needed. The era of Crouching tiger rip-offs are slowly dissapearing and Bloody Ninja brutatlity has came. I read something on another site and people were saying how they disliked the films plot and silly gruesome action. WTF? Do people really walk into a R RATED MOVIE called NINJA ASSASSIN and think they are getting the DaVinci Code? The movie got right to the point. Killing. Assassinations. Blood. Martial Arts. Boom. Let your mind go and enjoy an action movie. For god sakes these are the same people that said Wolverine was jam packed with colossal action sequences and superb acting? Yeah, I think I'll stick with logic on this one. Great enjoyment from NINJA was emersed in me and I will be paying happily to see this again. I was what live action anime should be like. Now Let the Wachowskis get NINJA SCROLL rolling!
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That no guy had the balls to tell his girlfriend to go see twilight alone so he could watch NINJA. Or make a deal to say she has to watch NINJA if he watches Twilight. This movie should of made more money. Instead, we get women complaining about the brutality of this movie, but not Wolverine. As I remember, 300 had 300 naked guys gruesomely killing people and this movie has only one. Maybe that wasnt enough to get the ladies out there.
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Ninja Assassin is what Daredevil should of been!This movie captured the feel of Frank Miller's Ninja plot line in Daredevil during the 1980's.
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Saw this last night, it had massive plot holes and crappy action. Oh, by the way, if the way he kills the main bad guy is by literally moving so fast that he disappears, like the other fucking ninjas, WHY DIDN'T HE DO IT ALL THROUGHOUT THE FUCKING MOVIE?
MASSIVELY HORRIBLE MOVIE.
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