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Massawyrm says NINJA ASSASSIN commits seppuku right before your very eyes!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
The ninja is dead. Long relegated to a protracted and no longer funny internet meme involving pirates, the concept of the legendary assassins once shrouded in mystery is no longer strong enough to support bad or even mediocre filmmaking. When I first saw the tedious and mind numbing ELETKRA I openly wondered how one went about making a boring ninja movie. After all, ninjas couldn’t be boring. They were awesome. And anyone who failed to capture that awesomeness on film clearly wasn’t trying. So when I heard that James McTeigue was setting out to make an A-budget B-movie about ninjas, I got all sorts of excited. I fucking love ninjas. A ninja movie with serious production values? What the fuck would that look like?
Boring. Seriously fucking boring.
NINJA ASSASSIN doesn’t start out dull, but it certainly spends an hour and a half working to get there. The opening scene is incredible; a bad ass, balls to the wall sequence of claustrophobic assassination evocative of a mix of modern horror and, more appropriately, Luc Besson’s THE PROFESSIONAL . But it rapidly becomes clear that this isn’t an intentional riff as much as it is that McTeigue shoots all of his fight sequences so close that it is damn near impossible to make out the action. After a while the bevy of too close and too-dark-to-see-what-is-going-on fights get stale and cease to pay off while the cartoonish levels of digital blood that is spilled fails to entertain once you notice that not a drop ever touches the floor or the fight’s participants.
Oddly enough, the film’s biggest liability is at first its greatest strength. NINJA ASSASSIN goes all out and treats the Ninja not as highly skilled warriors, but as supernatural creatures. And the initial sequences in which the ninjas weave in and out of darkness, completely vanishing before your very eyes only to melt back into reality when they step into a light source is breathtaking. Truth is that it is just plain fucking cool. But this leads to a gigantic problem by the third act. McTeigue treats them as if they really are supernatural creatures and deals with them the way one would fight any swarm or infestation of evil creatures: by sending in the army with machine guns and floodlights.
Once you begin to see these badasses foiled by something as simple as a mobile light source and readily mopped up by equally faceless troops, all the magic is gone. Every bit of mystical cool given these ninjas is sucked dry and left to rot onscreen. I see where McTeigue was going, but ultimately he takes a wrong turn towards the end and completely ruins all the work he initially put into building up such cool concepts. From there, the film just slowly begins to self-destruct.
It doesn’t help that the script is as anemic as they come. A true throwback to the 80’s, NINJA ASSASSIN focuses around an Interpol agent who uncovers a web of intrigue surrounding ninja clans and begins to run into roadblocks uncovering things no one wants revealed. No one believes her wild theories of course, but when a mysterious rogue ninja begins to aid her she can’t help but pursue the case to its logical conclusion. We’re occasionally treated to the backstory of our movie’s heroic ninja (played by Asian superstar Rain) and it proves as humdrum as one would expect, completely devoid of the emotional resonance needed for the third act.
At this point mentioning the acting seems like I’m just making fun of it. At its best moments, the acting is passable; but most of the time it’s pretty weak, if not altogether bad. Not that I expect top notch performances out of a ninja movie, but we’ve seen what McTeigue can do with genre and this doesn’t even come close to anything he did with V FOR VENDETTA.
I was really digging on this at the beginning, but as things began to wear thin, my patience soon eroded and I was grumbling and disappointed by the end. And I didn’t let go easily. I WANTED to love this and held on to that love with both hands and duck tape, but as I walked out of this and the ninja lover in me tried to convince me that there was some merit to be found here I finally relented, unable to find a truly worthy excuse for any of the film’s failings. It is simply the epitome of big budget, uninspired violence lacking the artistry to make that violence itself worth seeing.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
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Seriously, only reviews I really enjoy reading on this site.
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Oh well.
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awww that sounds so cute. are they little yellow ones? xD
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... what did you expect?
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The Domination was always one of my favorites when I wasa kid.
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Yeah, what the FUCK is that all about anyway? Who dreamt of that concept? Is is something from Facebook?Nice review Massa. Yet another movie I'll be sticking my middle finger up at as I drive past my local theatre.
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Are you sure you wern't just having a bad day and this movie went down like a bad oyster? I had such high hopes for this..Is it even rental worthy?
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Just tell me the truth, dude.
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If what Massawyrm says is true (and why wouldn't it be come to think of it) this pisses me off. I know I'm really sick to death martial arts and other action films that give us fight scenes that are either too dark or too closely shot for the viewer to get a clear view of what's happening. This kind of thing really has been a trendy thing to do lately. Even Batman Begins had some (thankfully just SOME) its fight scenes shot this way. This shit has got to stop. It's gotten to the point that I cringe a little bit every time I'm watching a film, and a fight scene is about to take place that isn't indoors or in the daytime. Let us see the fight dammit!
Still, I will give Ninja Assassin a watch at some point just to see for myself -
then 300 was the movie that did it first. Blood was spattering everywhere, but none of it spilled to the ground. It's like the blood vaporized as soon as it is off camera.
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Anyone else feel that way?
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...cuz they got a Korean to play a ninja...there aint no Japanese actors out there?
but not surprise by the review, I remember last year or so someone did a early review and said the same thing...oh well, at least the ninjetti was cool in Last Saumrai -
was adhering to a very specific visual aesthetic outlined by the Graphic novel, the blood was not supposed to look realistic, it was 'Frank Miller blood'. What is this shit heap's excuse?
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whats not to like?
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It's weird, but it almost...seems like...that review was an honest assessment of the flick's strengths and weaknesses. Amazing. Now let's see Harry's take...
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I tend to have the invert opposite opinion of Massa on most movies. And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. So I'm guessing this'll probably be pretty cool.
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lol it feels funny readin a possible honest review, huh? I just wish I could be a fly on the AICN office walls so I could see how they go bout givin bad movies rave reviews (due to set visits of course)... like does Harry fat ass roll in the room and say "hey, gi joe are sending us 6inch action figures in the mail on saturday... so lets start ravin bout gi joe"
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and pussy juice and chocolate
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that depends completely on its action. If it's as Massa says, then game over.
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Nov 24, 2009 11:51:21 AM CST
Yes, but does it have child molestation done in good taste?
by zombieheathledger
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Good job, buddy. I forgive you for even bothering with OLD DOGS.
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do any ninjas fight trained karate monkeys as they did in the script? or do i have to wait for dvd extras. those karate monkeys with their tiny monkey throwing stars could be film gold, but im afraid i've been hosed again.
also, do any solid tit rapes get thrown down? -
With a cameo by Michael Dudikoff. It's not like he'd rather be doing VIPER conventions or something.
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Anything with monkeys is worth seeing.
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"Steamed Crabs?!" Seriously, I thought this looked like ass from the trailer. I don't remember who it was but the talkbacker who named it "METROSEXUAL SHIRTLESS ASSASSIN" was probably on the money.
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I was really hoping this would be kick ass.
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Gene roddenberry envisioned All the asins as one race, so there for anyone with squinty eyes and yellow skin can play asian, it's hollywood racisim at it's finest
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I also had high hopes for this... Wasn't expecting Citizen Kane but I thought we would get a cool, modern ninja flick... I'll probably still d'l it tho...
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...that's a damn shame. Hell, even video games get that right now. It was a huge step forward in intensity when shooters achieved the computing power to let blood, bodies, and bullet holes stick around indefinitely.
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Clear, concise, free of hyperbole, to the point.
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Per my name, you guys know I had to toss Scott Adkins. Please, please, please all watch some stuff from his new movie Ninja. I swear it looks ten times better than NA with less than half the budget...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO_DlXMbwTc -
One of my childhood heroes, one of the reasons I started karate at 5, so I can't skip this no matter how many reviews say it sucks. I'm just glad he's in a major release.
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Nov 24, 2009 12:30:31 PM CST
Alright, a review written about the type of movie I would come t
by moore12
I was midly interested in seeing this, but now it looks like I will wait until dvd or the movie network. Good review.
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I meant I had to "toss Scott Adkins in here." That last one sounded really fruity. lol
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I remember watching clips of the training sessions for the fights in this thing and just being FLOORED at the coolness. If it's really as weak as Massa says, I'm more sad and confused with the world than usual. I'd love to see a whole movie about monkey fighters like charlesbronsonLIVES suggests, but somehow even that would get screwed up on the way to the screen, I'm sure. *sighhh*
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I was looking forward to this. I trust Massa's judgement, so it looks like I'll wait for the DVD and watch "The Octogon" again instead.
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Now that I'm excited about! It looks old school, not burdened with CG and from the Subway fight it looks well shot. Too bad it's not based on Eric Van Lustbader's novel of the same name, because that's one great series of novels about a really cool ninja.
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"..."
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...of all the crappy CG things to complain about, blood and gore are at the top of my list.Hell, even DRAG ME TO HELL copped out...and that was Sam Fucking Karo Syrup Raimi. Kept pulling me right out of the movie.
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It's not as terrible as he makes it seem. It's just mediocre. Saw this at a sneak peak last week, and it's definitely not the return to old-school ninja action I was hoping it would be. The fight scenes are shot too close with fast cuts and poor lighting. Everything is CGI, from the blood splatter to the weapons (CGI throwing stars that look and sound like machine gun fire). There was even a scene where the movie cuts to a close-up shot of a character putting ketchup on food, and I could have sworn that the ketchup was even GCI. It wasn't horrible compared to some of the stuff that's been released recently, but it wasn't great. Glad I saw it for free.
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Geezus…
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stop the bullshit hollywood hype engine advertising campaign you bunch of fucking dumbfuck ad and print people. fucking rain. there's nothing badass about rain. rain is nothing but a annoyance.
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... like no Kusugi I know...And that Scott Adkins "Ninja" looks crappy too. All I see is more cheap CGI blood and green-screen backgrounds...The machines are destroying cinema...
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The trailers look boring and unoriginal, like a high budget remake of some terrible 80's ninja movie. I would have been more interested if it was a period ninja flick rather than Ninjas riding Ninjas and hanging out in cool bars and crap.
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Funny you put WANTED in caps. An over rated wannabe fight club action film.
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When will movies stop being ridiculous? When will realism return?
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sounds like you wnet into the movie with too high of an expectation. i am sure your appreciation will increase with subsequent viewings. this might be one of those movies you see again down the road and ask yourself "how could i have not loved this?" because later on you will not have unrealistic ideals built up.
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But i feel like a significant portion of the marketing/reviews for this movie say "Asian" superstar.Why not say Korean? I think a lot of Koreans would take pride in seeing one of our own taking center stage on an "A-budget" american movie. And I think we all know where Korea is.All I'm saying is we probably wouldn't say "European" superstar, it'd be "insert country here" superstar.Again, I'm not being PC or anything, as what they're saying is perfectly accurate. just be nice to give each asian nation it's due when they market this stuff. I'm not offended by what's going on, just wish it was different.Also, there is the possibility they could be talking about the fact that Rain is a superstar *in* all of Asia. Like they were saying European Superstar David Haselhoff.All right I think I just argued myself out of my point.
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...this Thanksgiving.Although, from the trailers I didn't have much hope.
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that simulates movie scripts that aren't retarded?
An algorithm that says-stop using so much CGI, you loser, hack directors -
looks like it might be a half-decent reboot of 'American Ninja'. Although, I couldn't quite tell if the lead was american or something else. The costumes seemed a bit too 'Shredder' ninja, tho the action looked decent enough.
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The youtube clips of Rain training the stuntwork looked awesome: http://tinyurl.com/ylp3c2s
Why the hell does Hollywood have to do such tight shots that are heavily edited with quick cuts and cgi so you can't see the action? -
So let me get this straight...CGI blood bad. CGI Blue people good. Everything is disappointing when you expect it to change your life. The silver screen is starved for ANY ninja action. I'll take what I can get. So let me get this straight...CGI blood bad. CGI Blue people good.
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Nov 24, 2009 1:21:26 PM CST
"Why the hell does Hollywood have to do such tight shots that ar
by shepard wong
Because it masks poor fight choreography and execution.
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Seriously Hollywood. Ninja movies are still coming out of Japan. (Not as much as the '80s I'll admit)
I suggest you guys go that route to get your ninja fix. -
the action.
Thanks for the heads up, I'll miss this. I'm fucking sick of films that don't let you see the goods, it's a lazy cheat -
Dammit, I was hoping this was gonna be like fucking Ninja Gaiden: The Movie (if you've played the recent 2 Ninja Gaiden games, you know what I'm talking about). Regardless, Massa always seems to be at one extreme or the other with his reviews so I'm hoping that at the very worst I will have to just shut my brain down when I go into the theater this weekend.
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it's DUCT tape. for sealing DUCTS
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Can't wait to see this! My favorite ninja film is Shogun's Ninja with Sonny Chiba and Henry Sanada, and it had some downright awful moments.
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...but how does it stand up to the worst ninja film of all time, namely the Swedish-made NINJA MISSION? Did anyone else out there also suffer through that boring motherfucker in the theater? If so, I share your pain.
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I had a glimmer of hope for this. Will still probably rent it.
Am I the only one that enjoyed Lambert's "The Hunted"? -
Great suggestion man, a period ninja movie would be great. As for this Japanese/Korean thing you guys seems to be complaining about. Yes ninjas were Japanese, but Korea had the Sulsa which in every way is what one expects from a ninja. In fact some say the Sulsa were better trained because those selected to become Sulsa were the best of their Hwarang Warriors (the Korean version of the Samurai). http://www.hwarangdo.com/Magazines/sulsa.ht m
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V for Vendetta? Love. Speed Racer? Love. Matrix Trilogy? Mostly love, and fuck the haters. Ninjas? Love.
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...this is going to bomb. Hard. The title alone is an embarrassment. Shame on all those involved. Sho Kosugi deserves better!!!
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But he's right about Ninja Assassin. I seen it.
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Yeah, but it's that way because the bad guy is using a new experimental armor while Scott Adkins is wearing more traditional garb-the movie follows an old vs new as the bad guy uses pistols and sniper rifles while the good guy uses old school stuff.
Mrhazard, I know I hate the digital stuff too, but it is cheaper than the real thing, evidently. I prefer this to NA because the fights are mostly without wires or other effects. BTW this is by the same folks who did Undisputed 2 and the upcoming Undisputed 3. Also Scott is an amazing martial artist from England who really deserves a fair shot at stardom. He also played the villain Boyka in Undispited 2 (and did the deadpool/Weapon whatever stunt work in Wolverine) -
called "Kamui", and it sucks just as hard if not harder than Ninja Assassin
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I think you're forgetting a lil flick called "American Ninja III"
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And if it turns out Massa's right, then I am done with the Wachowski Brothers. I think the Matrix sequels just drove them insane...
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The verdict is in and i am skipping it!
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Seriously...They really don't know how to choreograph, shoot and edit good fight scenes any more. For the last 10 years, they have sucked for the most part. It's all that shakey cam, cut every fraction of a second drivel and the Hong Kong stuff ALL LOOKS ALIKE!!!!!!!!!! Every HK fight scenes is cut from the same mold! Except now they add CGI and more wires to the equation to make things worse! Thank God for the like of Tony Jaa! Maybe Hollywood will wake up and re-learn how to do good fight scenes again...Naaaa
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...and you can't get it on VHS or DVD!!!
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Isn't an AICN quote featured in the ad for this movie? Better add some choice blurbs from Massawyrm's review.
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festivals? I forget, but that looked sweet. I saw all the demo choreography on youtube and it looked amazing. How can this suck? I will be the first to admit that over use of CGI for shit like blood is retarded but that is nit picking. CGI ninja stars I can get with. I mean what are you gonna do..?..hang em on a string and whip em around? I think AICN is just bitter cause I saw the chase sequence through traffic on (the ultra current and always out scooping)MTV and it was killer. I'll be here Friday admitting I was wrong if it is warranted. Real Ultimate Power.
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and that sucks. Man I was looking forward to this.
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for monthes tanks? Brillant
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Is the movie to see.
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continues.
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Thanks for the review, Massa. From the training sequences a few months ago, I too was stoked to see this film. James McTeigue did such a great job directing "V for Vendetta" that I was certain his take on modern ninjas would knock it out of the park.
I had no doubt.
But the "Ninja Assassin" trailers and tv spots never fired me up the way those training sequences did, and I was kind of wondering why. Now I know.
Too much CG. Too many close pans. Too many quick edits. Too much fight-time darkness.
And the big one: bad acting.
I hate bad acting. I don't care how ripped or cool-looking a ninja is, I want him to be believable in the context of the life he leads. I could tell from the trailers that the Korean actor they hired wasn't good. Which sucks, because I was looking forward to some brain-smashing carnage.
Maybe I'll still see the film. I'm such a fan of "V for Vendetta" that I can't imagine McTeigue will entirely disappoint me.
But it still leaves me lukewarm. Yuck. -
About a serial killer... who kills people.
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It's like cheap knock off duct tape. I'm serious.
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For countless dumbass movies like this that guys eat up.
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I fucking LOVED that movie. Sho Kosugi! Lucinda Dickey (yes, the chick from BREAKDANCE 2 - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!) playing a nightclub dancer who gets possessed by the spirit of a dead evil ninja! There's a FUCKING NINJA EXORCISM SCENE!! THAT is how relentlessly badass NINJA III: THE DOMINATION is!
I love that I'm not the only one who saw the greatness in that movie. All that juice, and Sho Kosugi too. And one of these days, I WILL get round to watching SAKURA KILLERS. Greatest VHS trailer of the 80s - FACT... -
And it was pretty fucking cool on the Playstation One, too. But until I see WAY OF THE EXPLODING FIST on the big screen, my martial arts movie fetish remains unfulfilled. No, not even NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER fills that position. FIST or nothing...
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Fuck realism! I want ninjas that turn into smoke as they fade into darkness; that can cut bullets in half with their katanas and can split a human hair in half with a shuriken. And if Angelina Jolie can kill a room full of people by curving ONE FUCKING BULLET IN A COMPLETE CIRCLE, then as God is my witness I WANT A FUCKING SUPERNATURAL NINJAS MOVIE!!!
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V for Vendetta was beyond awful.
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then clearly, it's still bad.
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Did they pull a Bourne on us??? Damnit, everything else sounds fine, but when you fuck up the fight scenes there's just no point... fuck! I hope your theater was just dark Massa. I'll be catching this this weekend. The fight scenes looked awesome in the behind the scenes stuff, so let's hope they got it all on there. Otherwise kick McTeigue out and get the Wachowskis bck behind the camera! They know how to film action in all it's glory!
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Try to process this, morons. It's not the fact that the blood is digital that makes it stupid. People make the decisions. These are the same idjits that would have given you ridiculous bright cartoony blood even if was practical. How many times have we seen laughable practical (as opposed to real) blood? Fincher did digital blood well in Zodiac, and for the right reasons. Stop being simpletons - it's not the tool, it's the user and whether they're taking due care and paying proper attention.
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Not quite the right direction. The way to hell is,...right here!
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Nov 24, 2009 5:57:12 PM CST
Sorry but I'm seeing this! It looks badass and until
by hollywoodhellraiser
I see it for myself, badass it will remain!
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Duck tape was developed in 1942 during World War II as a water-resistant tape for sealing ammunition cases. It's usefulness on DUCTS (and everything else) was discovered later. Thank you, Mythbusters.
You spend so much time flaming on the 'net, you think you could spend 5 seconds to wiki it. Stupid nerds. -
Nov 24, 2009 6:06:47 PM CST
Christopher Lambert's The Hunted is looking better and better
by codename
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http://uk.movies.ign.com/dor/objects/14235284/ninja-assassin/videos/ninja_assassin_red_112409.html
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Nov 24, 2009 6:37:08 PM CST
Ninja's suck, knights in armor is the way to go. & Iguanas
by stereotypical evil archer
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Dumb Hollywhite.
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Apologies to frank cotton
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Nov 24, 2009 6:50:12 PM CST
There have already been 2 good ninja movies with high production
by kdog69
Batman Begins & The Dark Knight.
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And see Ninja with Scott Adkins. This was truly a throwback to the 80's Ninja movies complete with heads being chopped off and lots of non-cgi blood. It has a completely predictable story but the Ninja action is pretty good for a DTV
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Dwight K. Schrute would like a word with you!
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http://www.vimeo.com/6869175
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did anybody catch the episode of The Deadliest Warrior on Spike TV? Spartan beat Ninja convincingly or as convincingly as can be on that show.
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and i am a GEEK, not a nerd. and on occasion, a troll
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the ninja lost? i saw it but dont remember... but since deadliest warrior on spike tv was mentioned... anyone see the pirate beat the knight convincingl or as convincingly as can be on that show?
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(unless of course this is one of Massa's occassional spazz-outs like with Happy Feet). And I'm guessing Yuen Wo Ping didn't choreograph this one then?
I guess I'll just watch the almighty-cool Ninja episode of Samurai Jack again... it's like the Mad Max 2 of Ninja shows. -
While I enjoyed both films (the second moreso), I didn't think the actual directing for the action scenes was all that great.
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As much as I don't care for the two Matrix sequels, there's one thing those brothers can do - direct action so you can follow it. Sounds like this director didn't learn much there.
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you 2 geniuses realize that ninjas are fantasy right? they dont actually exit in modern Japan. if the movie is fantasy what difference does it matter if they're Japanese or Chinese as long as it makes the movie cooler? you think any ninja movie is going to be grounded in historical accuracy? for the record China and Korea also had assassins very much like ninjas. in Japan ninjas existed for a short period during the Warring States period but most of what we think of Jap ninjas came from legend and myth during the subsequent Edo, Imperial and modern periods. Again masswyrm is afuckin tard. if you actually knew anything about Japanese history or literature you would realize that ninjas are actually very much mythologized and given mythical abilities like walking on water, invisibility, teleportation, prescience, and inhuman strength/dexterity/healing. that you out of american ignorance start bitching that they're supernatural beings... how about picking up a book there sport.. that's how they are in legend. what's next? looking for historical accuracy in vampire movies? bitching about historical accuracy in a ninja movie and bemoaning supernatural elements is like bitching about a King Arthur movie with supernatural and Christian/Pagan elements.
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Now that's how a ninja movie should be made.
After all, he is a ninja with pointy ears. -
there's too many movies coming out in December that I want to see anyway, still this is a big disappointment
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That's disappointing.
Did they go for ninjas as vampires?
Too much ninja may have overloaded it. (I'm talking about a movie I haven't seen. Nothing stifles me.) -
No? Is that backasswards?
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Lee Van Cleef.
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That's a Samurai form of atonement/absolution.SHIT!... I was afraid this movie might be lame, in spite of the pretty bunny trailer and TV spots. If Massa doesn't like it, I'm halfway dissuaded. If Vern reviewed it at his site and HE doesn't approve as well... game over, man.Ya gotsta know who to trust on this site. Harry: never. Quint: no, Special Ed gets a pat on the noggin, but not a lick of trust. Beaks: rarely. Capone: sometimes. Massawrym: 90% of the time.
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Finally someone mentioned TDK in a thread. Congrats.
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Nov 24, 2009 10:57:15 PM CST
The ninja sequence in The Last Samurai kicked major ass
by nasty in the pasty
I know people have a hardon for hating Tom Cruise movies lately, but you have to admit...that nighttime ninja attack scene was worth the price of admission. And NO SHAKEY-CAM!!!
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First, personally I thought the concept of Batman being a ninja was wicked (if not 20/20 hindsight obvious). Second, I thought this was a GREAT review. Never a need to even come close to a spoiler while still giving a great feel of the pacing and overall feel of the film. Kudos Sir! Last: I was REALLY looking forward to this movie, but it looks like yet another "Unintentional Hollywood Justification for Torrent Sites" (especially the R5 kind)
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You mean it's possible? Goddamnit. Since Massa is about the only reviewer on AICN I trust implicitly, then I guess it's a rental. (It IS about ninjas, so I WILL see it).
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They were cowards who hid in the night. This was the only way they could fight since they could not mount an actual fight against Samurai.
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...or was the best martial arts movie in the last 5 years Kung Fu Panda?
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You do realise what McTeague's relationship to the Wachowskis is, don't you? And that he directed some of the Matrix stuff you're talking about? It sure doesn't come across that way. Then again, you could be the master of deadpan irony...
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in the same sentence, Nasty?
The "hating" part was good, though. -
the more he comes across like one of those annoying film students you never want to get stuck with talking movies. If I want angry movie nerd I'll just read the talkbacks all day.
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Massa is cool.
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Massa is cool.
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Then I'll just go there if I want that and skip massa from now on. Thanks.
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It was the only good thing about that movie.
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I thought lockesbrokenleg actually had something positive to say....
Almost happened. -
Sorry for all the people who liked this piece of shit but G.I. Joe sucked harder than Pamela Anderson at an oral sex convention in blowjob-land.
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Nov 25, 2009 6:20:39 AM CST
Everyone person on earth is Devin Faraci of Chud
by liesandpicturesofalsolies
And him, all of us.
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has anyone coined that phrase yet? If not, I'm bagging it, as its a good one.
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Fighting is awesome. Don't let the review stop you. Still massively enjoyable, true the third act just leaves you thinking about what could have been but I loved it all the same.
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I think we all know that Vanilla Ice's homage would have saved this film, it's all about the soundtrack!
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shocker.
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You won me over with "JAP Ninjas", continue impressing us with your ignorance.
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How does using a Korean popstar make a badass assassin again? Even if we stay within your myopic premise, that's like Justin Timberlake playing James Bond. And keep the name-callin down, you're a pigeon chirping at eagles.
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I posted this on the other talkback, but figured the comment belongs here. This movie lives up to the title Ninja Assassin. it's violent as hell, and pulls no punches on the gore. The preview audience I saw it with loved it. Not since 300, have I heard a crowd whoop and holler at onscreen killings and decapitations. I don't know if that's actually a good thing for us as a society, but this was definitely an entertaining crowd-pleaser. If you like seeing limbs flying and heads and necks split in half by swords and ninja stars, see this movie.
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who claim knowledge of what the ninja were/are need to look up Masaaki Hatsumi, the Bujinkan, and the Togakure Ryu for the real thing and a true historical perspective. Ninja certainly exist today, they just happen to be regular people, not cartoon assassins.
And whoever it was who said the ninja's taijutsu unarmed fighting method was inferior is an idiot. It is one of the most brutally effective combat systems ever conceived. -
Duct tape is the type of tape that, going back to World War II, is wide and silver and useful in almost any rebuilding situation.
Duck Tape is one of the many companies that makes and sells duct tape. It's a name brand, which is why talkbackers here have seen it in their local Wal-Mart.
To sum up: duct tape is the proper noun, Duck Tape is a name brand.
You can now return to your day. -
just saying.
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Duck is the original name and BECAME the name brand. Duct is now the type, and Duck the brand - but it didn't start that way. For the record, I say DUCT, but my fingers failed me in the midst of a reviewing binge. Sorry for the whole thing.
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Sho Kosugi was the best. As a kid, I didn't even stop to think "How did the evil white ninja with a perm get up to the penthouse and rig a mechanical fake arm into the hot tub?" I guess I just subconsciously understood that as a ninja, even a white one with a perm, he foresaw the steps of the unexpected battle inevitably leading to the hot tub on the Salt Lake City skyscraper's roof.
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I don't give a fuck what you say Wrym!
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Long live Michael Dudikoff!
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...was pure fucking awesome. Best part of the whole movie.
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Ahhh, the 80's and good ol' ninja exploitation: Sho Kosugi, Ninja magazines, Ninja How To books, and just like on that South Park episode, Ninja weapons at the local flea market or travelling gypsy hustler. Who gives a crap what you call Duck tape... Say Duct or Duck, and most people know what it is anyhow.
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I'm glad somebody here knows who Hatsumi is. I'm not apart of Bujinkan, but rather Genbukan and I'm always surprised at what people (mostly because of Hollywood) think of ninjas. When people ask me what style I do, I usually just say Kyokushin, since I've got a 2nd Dan in it and it's easier to explain than the long conversation Genbukan and taijutsu is.
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And without you having to get into a big long discussion, I'm a complete non-martial artist so I have no clue what means what. What I WOULD like to know is: isn't ninjitsu the main martial art that's always associated with ninjas? And if that's wrong, then which martial art IS the one most used by real historical ninjas?
Hey, if the experts are here, why not pick their brains??... -
Of course the method of choice for authentic ninjas of today is live-in-mom's-basement-watching-anime-pretending-to-be-a-ninja-fu. Usually these masters of the ancient arts can be found hunting elusive pokemon cards and are easily identified by Japanese tattoos which actually say "spicy tuna roll"
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The name ninjitsu is a western word made up to describe what ninjas do. Ninjas train in a variety of arts (usually 9), each separate and dealing with a certain combat range. Taijuitsu (body arts) is for hand to hand combat, Gyokko-ryu (muscle attacks) pressure point fighting, Koppojitsu for grappling, etc. Calling it ninjitsu is a gross oversimplification of a study of many arts. It's like assuming a doctor goes to college to study a class named "doctorin'."
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I remember playing this, and I got stuck on one level and never finished. The controls were a bitch.
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"The Last Ninja" movie released in 1983 starring Michael Beck and Mako. It was a great made-for-television movie!
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Nov 25, 2009 7:47:14 PM CST
Saw it for Free cuz of some tickets my buddy had
by t 1000 xp professional
pretty boring, guys. Massa was right on the money. You really do stop caring as the movie goes on until it gets to the point of you wanting it to end. My friend thought the same way. :/
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I think most theaters use shitty projection systems and the movie is dark, because, um, ninja. when I saw it at a test screening it was *much* easier to tell what was going on. I submit that this will not look so funky on dvd.
This guy has given a pass to countless irredeemable pieces of shit and he's just taking a shot for street cred. I thought it was probably the best-paced ninja movie imaginable, and the darkness served a specific purpose, so to did the absence of darkness.
Yes, I do have a man-crush on Rain. He's Dreamy. -
at no point does the movie explicitly state that the titular character is Japanese. Ninja were orphans.
I'm not going to front like there's not boring not-ninja shit in this movie. EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT NINJA SHIT IN A NINJA MOVIE IS BORING. The fact that what's there was remotely as well-paced as it was makes this a high water-mark of ninja cinema. -
Weirdly enough, I just had a conversation about this film with R.A. the Rugged Man today. It was simultaneously cool and weird to find that the man absolutely knew his fucking ninja movies.
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That is all.
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Sorry man, you are wrong. Ninja were not orphans, in fact their arts were refereed to as Family Arts because they were grown and refined through many generations within a family. Their lineage of succession was based upon family too. In fact the grandmasters of Bujinkan and Genbukan schools are cousins.
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