Cool News
Massawyrm fires up the chamber and prepares to put these OLD DOGS down
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
When you walk into a movie advertised as “From the makers of WILD HOGS,” you pretty much know where you have to set the bar. This isn’t a film made for us; it is a film made for the PAUL BLART MALL COP crowd. In the algebra of the film world it is absolutely the very lowest common denominator. I fully support the making of films that appeal to different audiences, but this? This is a new low. You see, I’ve seen WILD HOGS, and I can say without a doubt that while I did not like it, it at least functioned as a movie. It had a narrative, characters, attempts at building running gags – a beginning, a middle and an end. But not so OLD DOGS. OLD DOGS is a cartoon, a meandering series of over the top scenes loosely linked together by a weak setup.
This isn’t a movie, it’s a series of skits in which John Travolta and Robin Williams race each other to see who can run out of dignity first. SPOILER WARNING: it’s a photo finish. Neither of these two are strangers to the cinematic mad grab for cash, every few years finding their way onto something not unlike a Japanese game show to see how they can be most humiliated for the biggest check; but I thought even they had their limits. I mean, I should have expected it out of Williams. After a stand-up comedy tour a hairs-breath away from being as funny as his LIVE ON BROADWAY show and a really great dark comedy like WORLD’S GREATEST DAD, he was due to fuck it up somehow.
But did he have to drag along so many other talented folks with him? At this point we expect it out of Travolta. And okay, Dax Shepard never hit like he should have so I can look the other way, especially since he gets to slum it in scenes with Luis Guzman. But Matt Dillon? Justin Long? Hell, even Bernie Mac shows up in a performance I’m not quite sure was shot before his death in August of last year. And Seth fucking Green? Oh fuck, Seth. Why didn’t you tell us you were hurting so bad? We could have taken up a collection. Anything but seeing you do what you do here. You realize to you took a shot in the nuts from a stray golf ball, right? In a Robin Williams movie? Seth, you’re officially that guy.
For simplicity’s sake I will momentarily be using words like gag and characters. This is to no way infer that there actually is anything resembling either of these concepts in this film, but are present only in case any of OLD DOGS core audience blindly stumbles into this review, fumbling with the words while trying to understand how watching Seth Green get hit squaw in the babymaker isn’t the funniest god damned thing we’ve seen all year. Robin Williams plays Old Dog #1, a sports-something-or-other representative and bachelor with no visible personality. John Travolta plays Old Dog #2, a sports-something-or-other representative and SWINGING bachelor with no visible personality. Together these best friends own a sports-something-or-other where they employ Seth Green, who appears to be grinning ear to ear as if he keeps looking at all the zeroes on his check before each take. The only character with less common sense in this film than Old Dog #1 and Old Dog #2 is Green. Process that universe for a moment.
When Old Dog #1 discovers that he accidentally knocked up Kelly Preston seven years ago and has fraternal twin children, he is forced to watch them for two weeks when this one night stand cum mother of his children has to go to jail for two weeks. All this while our intrepid Old Dogs have to negotiate the biggest deal of their lives! Oh no! It couldn’t be worse timing. The rest of the film is a series of relatively unconnected sequences of attempts at fatherhood, misunderstandings, and gags involving the Old Dogs being mistaken for grandparents or the elderly. To punctuate every gag – as well as the title – the film is filled with dogs all of whom seem keenly aware (even more so than the cast) as to how big a jackass these characters are being at any given moment. These dogs are used as reaction shots every chance the film gets, because the only thing funnier than two shameless actors mugging for the camera while accidentally taking each other’s pharmaceuticals is when a dog can cock its head at their antics. Right?
You better hope so. Because that’s the strongest gag this film has to offer. It is insufferable, one of the very worst, most unrelentingly painful pieces of shit I’ve seen all year. A rapid fire series of sequences that plumbs the very depths of the comedy barrel and brings nothing back up to the surface but shame for anyone involved with it. It never develops a character. It never tries to tell a story. It simply wanders from joke to joke on auto-pilot because really, I’ve barely told you anything about this film and you can write the story yourself without getting a detail wrong.
I’m not going to lie, the audience I saw this with found it on occasion pretty funny. Sure, everyone sitting in the press row looked around confused every time this happened, but what are you gonna do? It’s a shitty mindless short attention span comedy for people who love shitty mindless short attention span comedies. Not to be viewed by the even remotely discerning, OLD DOGS is a film so bad that were I offered the choice between watching this or PAUL BLART MALL COP, I’d watch PBMC twice before I’d even think about enduring this again. Given a third option I’d opt for the wisdom of Odin twice and go all Oedipus Rex on this movie.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
-
+ Expand All
-
...I got nothing.
-
and the soundtrack rocked the walls of my house when I netflk'd the BD. I have tons of passes to various theater chains, so I'll probably give this a watch
-
...(what's the rule about "s's" and "s'"?...I forget) embarrassingly shitty movies are starting to retroactively stink up his handful of truly great performances.
-
He was good in Party Monster, though.
-
Nov 23, 2009 3:54:06 PM CST
Anybody else think the Dinosauria Ornament ad looks like...
by zombieheathledger
a vagina with gangrene? Just sayin'...
-
...not the gas chamber. Are you the guy with the Confederate flag tattoo?Hmmm...
-
not an ounce of geek factor
-
Because THAT'S what I want.
-
I don't have a tattoo.
-
...now my post makes no sense.
-
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42835
-
john C McGinley
-
"This isn’t a film made for us; it is a film made for the PAUL BLART MALL COP crowd." and "in case any of OLD DOGS core audience blindly stumbles into this review". Why do you guys waste your time on these kinds of movies? You full on aknowlage this movie isn't for the audience that visits this site in your review. Did you go see it because it was free
And before the snark comes my way as to why I'm wasting my time in this post if I don't think the content fits or is appealing, I'm killing time at work and unlike the target audience for Old Dogs I did stumble into this review. -
it may be too late for Seth but I think Mike has a few more funny movies in him.
-
Nothing HAPPENED to the Site. It's being run the way it always was. The only difference is that nowadays studios are keeping certain films away from the press - and as a result, if we see them on opening night/day, we often have to choose one of a few films being held back. Seriously, what Geek movies have we ignored? The only ones I can think of all fell into this category and were released during fantastic fest...
-
sometimes films that LOOK like they should be piles of shit, like this movie, end up having some redeeming values or some reason why they are actually better than they look. if for no other reason, that justifies seeing press screenings of films like this, and writing reviews here. we gots to know what the deal is. in case a grandmother, parent, child, girlfriend, wife, etc. wants to drag us to this pile of foamy shit, we know what we're in for.plus, it's fun to read Massa rip a movie's entrails out like a velociraptor, is it not?
-
...WOLFHOUND tip. This is the only place I heard about that one and I enjoyed the hell out of it.
-
I've been coming to this site for over 10 years now, and it's hasn't changed in its essence AT ALL. the only difference is the level of entitlement and whininess that is prevalent in the talkbacks. how quickly we come to demand that everything on the internet is catered to exactly what we want. but you know what the best part is? if AICN isn't geeky enough for you (and my god, I hate to imagine how that is the case...are you Steve Carell's character in the 40-Year-Old Virgin?) THEN START YOUR OWN FUCKING WEBSITE!this is a free site, and it's always been run in a weird, personal way. New Moon just broke like 5 box office records, and it's about vampires and fucking werewolves. just because it sucks, do you HONESTLY WANT TO ARGUE that it doesn't fall under the purview of a website like this? that's complete lunacy. and also, each article has a title for a reason. I don't like anime, so guess what I don't do? READ THE ARTICLES ABOUT ANIME. if you're not interested, move along. no one's forcing you to read it. and if the content of AICN in general isn't to your taste, well...don't let the door hit you in the asshole on the way out. I'm sorry if this comes down harder on you than is justified. I'm really upset about the whole attitude of the talkbacks in general. there was always yelling and insulting and arguing, but it was about the films, not about AICN. this was our little corner of the internet. and now that it's a little bigger, people are complaining about every little goddamn thing that they don't like, and it's SO aggravating for those of us who have been coming here forever and love the site.
-
ust for one example this site ignored the hell out of "Knowing".
I don't know why as it was a well done film that actually had a geek sense to it...maybe the reason is Nic Cage..I dunno..
but I do know that even a mention of this kind of ilk shows where the site has gone, and I've been around this site for some time now..I thought you guys spent your time more wisely than this..
I saw the previews to this steamer and if you went to see this I liken it to purposely stepping in dogshit even though you know its there.. -
It was one of the best direct to videos I've ever had the pleasure to watch...Bring on Wolfhound 2
-
Good review, but don't mix "infer" with "imply." And yes, I love being a pedant.
-
Knowing was sadly screened and released right in the middle of the South by Southwest film festival and played against a large premiere. Usually I'm the guy who picks up the slack on films playing during festivals attended by the travelers - but during Austin film fests the occasional film sadly falls through the cracks.
-
Nov 23, 2009 4:59:30 PM CST
"everyone sitting in the press row looked around confused every
by grievey
Not that I want to see this film or defend it, but did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason nobody laughed in the press row, is because everyone in the press row is a fucking snob?
-
than the movie where Williams and Billy Crystal both think they're the father of the same kid? Sounds like it, horrifyingly enough. And this wins the "most tasteless recent thread title" award, BTW!
-
buys their food at Wal-Mart, drinks 45 six-packs a day and spends their weekends watching Nascar and attending monster truck rallies. Oh, and bitching because there's an Obama in the Black House!
-
...is one of my favorite comedies in the past few years. Just saying.
-
Please let all Scientologist movies fail on every level. Thank you for the FX network and please let Ninja Assassin fuck eyeballs this week. Praise be to God. Amen.
-
AICN premiered the one sheet for Knowing, there were 2 or maybe 3 reviews up (including Latauro's from down under) and they even had an interview by Beaks with Proyas about the film.any other examples?
-
to this site. which sometimes I dont like. sometimes it seems its like there is anti mainstream thing going on and i could be wrong.
-
cruise and travolta. didnt know paul haggis was a member. too he left because well...em he is gay and they didnt like that type of thing and called them homophobic.
-
Nov 23, 2009 5:44:27 PM CST
Movie posters need to start using Wyrm's review for their pull q
by tatoosh
"It is insufferable, one of the very worst, most unrelentingly painful pieces of shit I’ve seen all year"
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movienews/if-movie-posters-used-bad-reviews -
It could be that. They may be elitist. Course, odds are that the movie just plain isn't funny to someone who isn't pre-signed up to "Oh, My Balls!", the tv show from the future of Idiocracy that featured just shots to the babymaker. Nothing but. You don't have to be elitist to enjoy more thoughtful and well-executed comedy. Now the crack about WalMart shoppers? That's elitist.
-
Was Tim Allen busy???Seth is neither funny nor old, so why???
-
I find that a little offensive. I liked PAUL BLART, and this looks like shit.
-
If I remember right the reviews were from the video release not during it's theatrical run..I may have missed the one sheet premiere
but I look all over this site during the theatrical run and couldn't find a review to read..
I even posted asking Harry to review it and I never saw review one till it came out on video.
If I'm wrong my badmrwonka but Massa seems to back up what I'm saying..All I'm saying though is that there seems to be a lot of energy spent on reviewing things that that of late are not so cool..While I'm sure
that is all reletive to the coolness factor of each individual on this site..No hate here just callin it as I see it.
Nothing more and nothing less. -
I would like to know (no pun intended) what you thought of it..I liked it a hell of a lot better than 2012 as far as end of the world flicks go.
-
when AICN posts little bits of info about other stuff, or rumors, or leaked stuff, or info about smaller movies that people may not have heard of, everyone whines that it's not "news"...and when they review movies (as a movie site does) that are bigger, people complain.so how can they win?
-
These goddamn lameass comedies with the hallowed Disney name on them make me cringe. Even worse than "Old Dogs" is the crap with "new dogs" - those direct-to-dvd dogpiles known as the "Buddy" series, with the lab puppies (their most recent effort involves them saving Christmas. No, Bill O'Reilly does NOT make a cameo). Happily Disney dumped the guy who okayed "Old Dogs" and maybe we'll see a change for the better...although the guy they replaced him with is the Hardly Boy who created High School Musical...gahhh. Walt must be rolling over in his grave...
-
Yeah I see what your saying..Damned if you do and damned if you don't..I originally came to this site as a link to my filmgeekdom not just for my tastes in Fantasy, Horror and Science fiction films..I do think that some of the mainstream crap has taken place of the more fantasy centric areas that this site once catered more towards.
Its just that having sat through the trailer to this monstrosity I didn't think I'd see a review on this site for it.. but alas it has Travolta in it and the name of this site is directly lifted from the great Travolta quote "aint it cool? "
Yeah Johnny boy you were cool but that was a long time ago.. -
Any movie with The Clash's Police on My Back featured in it is gold in my book.
-
The rule is that you don't add a second 's.' Instead, you say it like this: Robin Williams' paycheck. Robin Williams' money. Robin Williams' dignity. Robin Williams' career.
-
... because you could technically be correct by posting the following as a review from Massa: "Unrelentingly ... ... ... funny ... characters."
-
It has changed. The biggest changes? Studios no longer give a shit about AICN. They've recognized that viral marketing is a dead marketing tool, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY nonwithstanding (that whole "Demand It!" campaign was TOTALLY staged, and the studio would have released the movie wide no matter what). As a result, you will notice that you don't tend to see many of the "I was invited to the editing room for ..." or "I got a call from so-and-so who informed me of a top-secret project" or "I was twiddling my dick and I saw a name on my text message list - MICHAEL BAY!" The studios have issued the final FUCK YOU to AICN. As a result, these guys aren't even getting invited to Press Screenings any more, and they're definitely not getting plane tickets to go to the big premieres. Booyah!
-
Nov 23, 2009 8:26:59 PM CST
"Bernie Mac shows up in a performance I’m not quite sure was sho
by snallyg
Classic.
-
he's a good actor, but he's not above doing horrible movies, like this one
-
is funnier than this movie.
-
...good one. You're not as bad as your WTWTA rants made you out to be.Learn to spell English as a second language in your teens and this jumble of apostrophes, silent letters and fucking I's before fucking E's except after fucking C's never really sticks.
-
Nov 23, 2009 9:24:22 PM CST
Where judging people based on where they buy their groceries now
by wickedjacob
Wow, DinoMolester must be in a bad place if that's how he convinces himself he's better than everyone else.
-
Nov 23, 2009 10:00:25 PM CST
i still set the bar way lower for these talkbacks than this movi
by supercowbell5thecowbellhasspoken
when you come in and see a post like kingninereturns, it might not be such a bad thing to see a movie like this.
-
still cant quite get over his death. i really loved the bernie mac show, life (disgustingly underrated! great cast!), and bad santa.
-
was actually pretty damn solid.
-
i.e. the kind of movie your mom thinks is "Cute".
-
this is the kind of movie my mom would find hilarious too
-
. . . my Mom thinks it looks retarded. Like The-Crimson_King's mom.
-
At D23 they showed approximately ten minutes of this movie and it was without a doubt the worst thing I've ever seen. All I could think of was, did Travolta and Williams even read the script before they signed on? I can't wait to read all the reviews. The critics are going to destroy it.
-
Cowbell you amaze me..You are correct sir. Bernie Mac was solid in just about everything he did.
His show was one of the overlooked gems on T.V. and was one of the most consistanly funny shows on the air. It was a shame to lose a talent at the peak of his potential. I hope this was not the very last thing in his otherwise stellar legacy. -
Where he sings because he's scared of a bear? I recall some movie like that.
-
Wait - does your mom think the MOVIE is retarded or Crimson's MOM is retarded?
-
...the other night. Damn, Travolta can be so good at times. But I don't know how he picks his films, maybe cause his whole family has parts. Wish he'd stay away from shit like this and go back about 10 years to stuf like Face/Off and The General's Daughter(which has a sequel novel, Up Country.)
-
I think you're thinking of WITHOUT A PADDLE.
-
I've watched it on cable a few times (you know how you watch movies on cable ... catch the last part, catch the middle another time, maybe catch the beginning a week later...very nonlinear) and it was so freaking idiotically lame it was actually worth a good laugh or two. That and shock of seeing William Macy in a flick like that. Plus I have middle aged friends who ride Harleys who just love the film for the bikes and the way it depicts ordinary shmucks turning into Harley Davidson "biker gang" poseurs -- a lot of us probably know people like that.
-
I haven't seen a lot of their stuff here in what seems like ages. Neill Cumpston's '300' review is an all-time classic. "I can’t spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN’T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey." Awesome.
-
Nov 24, 2009 1:57:21 AM CST
You don't support the making of films made for different audienc
by gingerella
But it's ok, cause New Moon opened to 140 mill plus and is actually OK for support. It will give you a call if it needs it, Mass.
Last one out turn out the lights. -
How do you sleep at night, dude? Fucking stupid cunt.
-
As soon as I saw Robin Williams, Travolta and "from the makers of Wild Hogs" I didn't give it a second thought.And is it just me or does anyone else actually get angry when they show that trailer "cap" of Seth Green singing in the gorilla's arms? I don't know why that pisses me off so badly but it does.
-
Vern had a review of Where The Wild Things are up here that was pretty fantastic. You can also check out his website: outlawvern.com. It's awesome.
-
Martin Lawrance - coz he's a giant cunt. Shame about this film as the cast is pretty good (when theyre on form)
-
"even Bernie Mac shows up in a performance I’m not quite sure was shot before his death in August of last year"
Awesome line. -
Why waste time reviewing a shit movie that the people who visit already know who shit. Why not review movies that people might be interested in seeing? Also, saying everyone in press seating were confused by laughter of the general audience makes you sound like an asshole, a real fucking snob.
-
"... over the top scenes loosely linked together by a weak setup."Then it seems the advertising for this film is spot-on. That's exactly how all the commercials I've seen for this play. Although, it did take a few commercials before I realized the "Robin Williams Meets the Kids He Didn't Know Existed" movie was the same one as the "Seth Green Sings to a Gorilla" movie.
-
If anything its only adds to the problem of every asshole in the talkbacks doing nothing but ripping anything and everything. And isn't there some saying about how its easier to criticize than to praise. Having said that, I am not saying Massawyrm is not talented.
-
I'm pretty sure when all is said and done, I'll have reviewed every major release this week. There's nothing compelling you to read this review over the others. If there's one true aspect of the AICN talkback base that gets to me, it is those folks who decide what this site should be about rather than accepting it for what it has been for what...? 13 years now?
-
However, it does seem, in this case, that is due to there being little to nothing about the film which one could praise. Here's a Disney movie that takes the tired Disney-Dad cliche and then doubles it. Instead of one all-work father-figure who is a stranger to his kids, this movie's got two (plus whatever Seth Green's character represents).Yes, most everyone on this site who has seen the ads probably has no desire to see this movie, However, as others above have said, the review isn't necessarily for us alone. This movie is being released in time for U.S. Thanksgiving. Families get together; some like to go to the movies. Sometimes it is hard to find something no one has seen, so options often limited to what's new. Sure, you could try to convince your family and/or friends, who aren't as cool or as trailer savvy as you, that this movie will be a waste of time and money. Not having seen the movie, and having only your impression of it from a 30-second tv commercial you may very well be shot down with counter-arguments of "you can't judge a book by its cover". On the other hand, with this review fresh in your mind, you can list specific examples of why it would be best to avoid it. Question about the Seth Green/Gorilla bit: What exactly is going on in that scene. Is Seth singing to the gorilla to keep it calm so it doesn't rip him to pieces? Or has he gone to his "happy place" because said gorilla is about to, or already has, to put it politely, mate with him? Gorilla rape may work in the R-rated "Trading Places", but in a supposedly family friendly Disney film it seems a bit much.
-
especially done by Massa. Seriously, i rarely laugh so hard as i do when he eviscerates a terrible movie. I'd be really sad if they only reviewed good movies here... i'd still read, but it wouldn't be half so much fun.
-
But reviews in general, Twilight, Old Dogs, we all assume they are going to suck, why, because they are not the movies people who visit this site want to see. And honestly, for the past 13 years has this site been about reviewing tween flicks, and movies made for white middle America (Canada). But, you are right, I don't have to read your review, just like you don't have to watch a movie you know you won't like. I guess I clicked on the review not because of the movie, but because of who wrote it. Still, how is it productive for ANYONE, not just reviewers, but anyone to slam these bad movies, especially ones that are obviously that bad. I don't mind reading negative reviews. But anyone can talk about how much a bad movies sucks, but that is why not everyone is capable of writing.
-
but when you say, "it is those folks who decide what this site should be about rather than accepting it for what it has been for what...? 13 years now?" Isn't that like saying just because you have lived in a country for 13 years and they country has been run the same way for the past 13 years that you shouldn't try to change it? That may not be the greatest analogy, but this website is paid for by advertisements, the reason people advertise here is because of the amount of traffic. So if people have been coming to this site for 13 years is it really inconceivable that some people might have legitimate complaints? Sure, maybe 99.99% of people are just whining for the sake of whining, but I am sure that some people might be sincere.
-
Nov 24, 2009 10:16:19 AM CST
You hit the nail on the head and yet missed it completely:
by massawyrm 1
"just like you don't have to watch a movie you know you won't like." I'm a movie lover, always have been. I want to like every movie I see and give it the benefit of the doubt. If this had been good, I would have written such and taken heavy fire from people wanting to hate it. No such thing as an obviously bad movie unless you are an incredible mentalist capable of phenomenal feats of precognition. I've seen hundreds of great films marketed with shitty trailers. "Can't judge a book..." indeed.
-
I have discovered a lot of good movies from this website. However, I still believe there are some movies that you know are going to be crap without having to see them. So I guess this is where we respectfully agree to disagree?
-
when this site gets every reviewer it has to form a circle around a movie beating it on the ground. Every now and then they do that with stuff like Twilight 2 and Transformers 2 and The Spirit and after the third review that just compares the movie to poo for five paragraphs I think they should maybe put a cap on it.
-
Sometimes it feels like overkill when there are 4-5 reviews all trying to out-hate a movie.
-
the same species as the rest of us. Technically, yes, our DNA may mingle.... in a lab or something. But there's no way one of us is going to fuck one of you. We might as well split the country along those lines.
-
Or was it that it was good at being intentionally bad, but ultimately not good?
No ... I mean, I heard it is successful at being bad, but that doesn't automatically mean it's great.
That's what I hear. Though I think it could be unintentionally bad, and actually an outstanding example of being unintentionally bad, which would mean it is very good at being bad.
I don't know. All I know is I've got Travolta's crazy big distorted smiley face set as my desktop image though, and it just makes me laugh and laugh. I am in for a great day! -
"... in a country for 13 years and they country has been run the same way for the past 13 years that you shouldn't try to change it?"Yes, exactly. Or like saying "just because we all agree a movie will suck, doesn't mean we shouldn't speak out against it"What I get from Massawyrm's review is this film is another example of how creatively bankrupt the major studios can be. Cardboard cut-out cliched characters, recycled "jokes", poor scene transition, marketing the film mainly on name recognition. Maybe, just maybe, if enough honestly negative reviews will be written that enough people stay away; if the box office does not meet studio expectations they just might try to figure out what went wrong. If you believe in miracles, someone, somewhere may read one of those reviews, igniting a flicker or comprehension of how to make a better movie. Or, at the very least, learn not to repeat past mistakes.
-
for it was a beloved property and then michael bay turned it into bad boys 3 with robots
-
this isn't a genre film..sure I like reading how bad this is and that intelligent people find it worthless, but still shouldn't be on AICN.
-
for laughs and to guess which of the posters are fat mouth breathers who live in their Mom's basement. The answer is 99%, since I live in my uncle's attic.
-
No, I'm pretty sure he hit exactly as he should have.
-
a movie called "Ow, My balls!". The film is 2 hours of me getting hit in the crotch in bizzare ways. After each wacky and painfully hilarious encounter, my black labrador looks at me funny and runs to fetch icepacks for my throbbing testicles. It will be worth it, I tell you. I may never be able to have sex due to my damaged groin, not that I ever would have anyway, but it'll be worth it. Audiences will break the box office records, and the paycheck I receive will repair my body so that I can live happily ever after.
-
So whether you agree or disagree with Massawyrm, he certainly knows what he's talking about.
-
Guys, this film was made over a year ago, it was the cast's first paycheck after the writer's strike. They had a lot of bills to pay. Seth has to pay his Robot Chicken crew, Williams had lawyers and alimony, and The Travoltas had to pony up to the cult leader's personal bank account.Now I know why Disney fired the head of the movie division. Thank you to those who finally put a stop to the man who was greenlighting the lame "Disney-Dad" flicks (Lassiter?, Steve Jobs??)-----later------m
-
As always, another great review. His reviews are the highlight of my week, especially when the movie's bad. And Series7, you're spot on.
-
That explains a lot. Especially if the script was "written" during the strike. To get around writers, Disney execs just grabbed a couple dozen unused scripts; some scissors, some tape, and a half-hour later, they've cobbled together their shooting script.
-
The TBers who make the experience a little less pleasurable than it used to be.I miss the days when one could post what they felt, without some prick just DYING to say something stupid. TB used to be about intense conversation and (somewhat) intelligent discussion. I can't change people. Ain't nobody gonna change me. I keep coming here, but I post less than I used to.Even though I don't always agree with you, keep up the unique work, Wyrm. Don't change a thing.BTW-I might just watch Old Dogs anyways when it comes to video. I'll watch almost anything once.
-
Travolta hasn't been in a decent movie since "Face/Off." He's always been terribly over-rated and unable to capitilize on any good will he might get from a hit movie. One shit drop after another. I'm amazed he's not worked himself into another "hiatus." I have no use for him and Robin is no longer the zany improv nut he used to be. "World's Greatest Dad" was not good because of him, it was bob Cat and the kid of all people. I can't remember a good Robin Williams movie before that..."Fisher King?" and that's nearly 20 years old. Pathetic.
How hard is it to read a script and decide if it stinks or works? -
Hollywood may take a risk on occasion and have it pan out, but to be totally honest, if I was in the biz, I would be like, "I can't feed my family on risk". Like we go to sucky ass jobs everyday, some of these dudes have to suck it up and produce crap so their lights stay on.
-
Hair doesn't breathe.
This message brought to you by mustang_dvs, mall idiom nazi. -
It'll be about a group of over-the-hill priests who accidentally travel to Holland, when they intended to travel to Thailand to purchase fresh, young lady-boys.Lots of reefer-madness gags, dick jokes, fart jokes and homophobic innuendo.I wonder how many more "[random adjective] [word that rhymes with Hogs]" he can make?Hard SnogsRude FrogsBleak TogsTracey ScroggsExecutive BlogsTragic JogsSimilar LogsOptional BogsQuiet Pogs
-
Nov 24, 2009 9:31:23 PM CST
I also hate movies where dads are slaves to their children's eve
by nasty in the pasty
Didja ever notice that movies about bad MOMS are exceedingly rare, but a movie about a successful, workaholic dad bringing home a shitload of bacon for their families are always portrayed in a negative light because they occassionally have to -- G A S P -- miss Little Billy's little league game, or Baby Suzie's first steps? The unspoken rule these films seem to reinforce is that a mom with a successful career is to be praised and looked up to, but a dad who busts his ass in a soul-deadening office job for 10 hours a day (not even including commute time) to keep food on the table is always the villain? Fuck YOU. Hey, Little Billy, what do you want, for daddy to always be there to play catch in the back yard whenever the mood strikes you, or to have food on your plate and a roof over your head.
-
I meant to say
-
to Star Trek, called "Captain's Logs"
-
tom cruise. after travolta whacked cruise over the head with a shovel! it was on star stories so it must be true. travolta looks awful on the poster. really thin. which is weird cause on that poster for that film hayden christensen. he looks bad ass.
-
they are going to teaching kids about domestic violence. which is proper order. except that it is a two way street. women can be equally violent and fercious. there are copious stories about who have to sleep in thier cars because they are to afraid to go into the house.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- SPACE 2099!! -- 98 total posts 98 posts
- OK. So Harrison Ford Isn't In Talks For The New BLADE RUNNER. But... -- 138 total posts 94 posts
- Check out Colin Farrell in these new pics from SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS -- 91 total posts 91 posts
- Nice And Splattery MACHETE KILLS Promo Art!! -- 87 total posts 85 posts
- Thursday Is Sweeps Day Eight!! Yack Here About OFFICE, ROCK, UP, WIPEOUT, PERSON, FINDER, MENTALIST, IDOL, BANG, ROB, ANATOMY, JERSEY & More!! -- 113 total posts 81 posts
- Kurtzman And Boborci Producing An Adaptation Of Anne Rice's Lestat Novel TALE OF THE BODY THIEF?? -- 338 total posts 74 posts
- In That New 300 Movie Spin-Off Thingy, Xerxes And Artemisia Will Be Played By... -- 77 total posts 66 posts
- Quint travels to Barsoom and visits the John Carter set!!! -- 65 total posts 65 posts
- WETTER HOTTER AMERICAN SUMMER? -- 61 total posts 59 posts
- Crom! Grant The Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day revenge! And if you do not listen, den to Hell witchu! -- 55 total posts 55 posts