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Quint has seen the latest installment of the Twilight Saga!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Growing up a movie geek I always read the reviews in the local newspaper (as a kid it was the San Jose Mercury News and as a teen The Austin Chronicle or Austin American Statesman) and would always feel a little frustrated when the reviewer obviously didn’t like the type of film they’re reviewing, specifically genre titles, yet they review it anyway without admitting any bias. So I say right up front that these movies and, I would assume, Stephanie Meyer’s books aren’t exactly my cup of tea. But it’s not this genre. I like romance movies, even teen romance tales. I’m a sucker for John Hughes and Cameron Crowe. More than anything it seems like what the TWILIGHT movies are trying to be is today’s equivalent of PRETTY IN PINK or SAY ANYTHING, but with a supernatural bent. I mean, Billy Burke’s Papa Swan character is pretty much built on the one great father/daughter scene between Paul Dooley and Molly Ringwald in SIXTEEN CANDLES. With all that said I hope I don’t fall into the same category of douchbag critics I was frustrated with as a youngin’ by reviewing this film. I thought the first Twilight movie was horrible filmmaking (sorry Ms. Hardwicke, but you know that ridiculous circular forest shot where the characters literally wait to finish a line until the camera moves completely around them was a horrible idea) built on a very simple, if unoriginal, story. It’s easy to say New Moon is a better movie, but it’s still a soap opera. The problem is it seems nobody making the movie knows it, which leads to a lot of unintentional comedy. In a weird way this movie almost plays like a spoof of itself (how else do you explain the roving six-pack wolf gang?) yet both Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson play the melodrama so seriously that they don’t realize how comical it comes off. And I’m not the only one who thinks that. Even the die-hard fans at tonight’s screening, the teenage girls, middle-aged women and those in between, were laughing at the movie. Not with the movie, mind you, but at it. There’s a moment where we get a glimpse at the future thanks to Alice Cullen (Ashley Greene) that was essentially a slow-motion shot of Edward and Bella running through a field that was so cheesy it was getting cat-calls from the same people who were whooping and hollering at the start, cheering at the title and clapping every time Taylor Lautner took off his shirt (which was about every other scene). I totally understand the argument that we geeks have stuff like Star Wars, Iron Man and The Dark Knight to get excited about, but there’s a difference in the fan culture. There seems to be a guilty pleasure vibe to the Twilight movies. I heard “I loved it!” as I left the theater from the same people who were laughing at the movie. Judge its fans I do not. I just don’t understand them. My job as a movie reviewer and as a movie fan is to judge the film as it is and while there is a lot of production value in New Moon the parts that work don’t overcome the parts that do. And there are pieces I did like. The Volturi, which is the kind of high vampire court presided over by the scenery chewing Michael Sheen, is a cool idea and while she’s only in it for about 3 minutes I think it’s kinda brilliant to cast Dakota Fanning as a vampire before she’s all growed up since she’s always seemed older than her years anyway. I also love Graham Greene’s Indian character, Harry Clearwater, a kind of keeper of the werewolves, but the dude maybe has 2 lines in this particular movie. I think my appreciation of him has little to do with his character and a lot to do with just loving Greene as an actor. The other Greene (Ashley) is again a stand-out as the bubbly, likable Cullen and Peter Facinelli has one really good scene as he stitches up Bella after an accident. But like most that is good in this movie he’s limited to a scene or two. Lautner isn’t bad as Jacob, but I must confess I liked him a lot more when he was the long-haired Duckie to Stewart’s Andie Walsh than when he turned into the serious-face washboard-abs Calvin Klein werewolf. My overall problem with this series isn’t just that we’ve seen every inch of this story told before, but that we’ve seen it told so much better than it is here. The love triangle is an old tale, but when you connect with the characters it works. I thought Stewart was adorable in ADVENTURELAND and INTO THE WILD, but in these movies I just don’t buy her character. That may be more of a fault of the books than of the screenwriters or Stewart herself, but it’s a problem nonetheless. And Edward isn’t any better. By design Pattinson can’t show off the charm he showed as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which hurts the romance as Edward comes off more dickish and creepy than in love. I've come to realize that the center of the Twilight Saga is a romance between two people I don’t like. Which is probably why I enjoyed this movie a little bit more than the first one because at least with Jacob there’s some real warmth as his loyalty and caring helps crack Bella out of her morose Emo state. The pacing is also a problem. The story is structured in such a way that nothing big really happens until the very end of the movie, but it’s not like the preceding plot points lead up to it in any sort of building way. Because the werewolves are such a big part of the marketing, those unfamiliar with the books are still a good hour ahead of the movie when it starts. It’s frustrating waiting for Bella to catch up to us as she seems to ignore every big hint as to what Jacob is until she actually sees him change. There’s a myriad of logic issues and plot holes I could dwell on and even though the kneejerk instinct is to point and laugh, making snide comments about the magical reappearing jean shorts on the werewolves when in human form, I’ll leave that to the other 98% of internet critics. The real problem with the movie above all else is that failed connection to Edward and Bella. Especially Bella. I’m an easy target for romance and have a few billion crushes thanks to that vulnerability, but not here. With two movies all I see in Bella is an attractive, but mopey and selfish girl. That’s not enough for a romance to work, at least not for me. From the things I hear about the David Slade-directed Eclipse I think I might like the next installment in the Twilight Saga, but more for the horror aspect, which was just touched upon briefly in this movie. This series could use more horror and less melodrama. We’ll see what we get. Okay, back to work on the Holiday Gift Guide. Also look for my interview with the legendary Werner Herzog and the results of the Bad Lieutenant poster contest to hit soon! -Quint quint@aintitcool.com Follow Me On Twitter



Readers Talkback
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  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:05 a.m. CST

    LAST?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Oh, sorry, I meant first. Is this about Avatar?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:06 a.m. CST

    Garbage

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Fingers crossed it bombs. I know it won't though.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:06 a.m. CST

    Looking forward to the Herzog interview Quint

    by kwisatzhaderach

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Wow

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Jeff Wells: "The thing that defines the badness of New Moon is an extended circular tracking (or Steadicam) sequence that Weitz shot of Stewart (i.e., Bella Swan) sitting in her room, immobile and depressed after her vampire lover Edward Cullen (Pattinson) has broken things off and moved away. Weitz moves the camera around her three times, which gives the audience three views of her front lawn as it changes with the seasons -- greenish brown during October, totally brown with leaves being raked in November, and finally snow-covered in December. Except someone in the Summit high command decided that this visual information wasn't explicit enough for some in the audience, and so little white titles have been inserted, appearing each time the camera moves around and behind Bella's back, that say "October," "November and "December." Just stunning. Unbelievable. Truly one of the most embarassing passage-of-time sequences ever included in a major motion picture."

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:12 a.m. CST

    It's the shirt-off thing that puts me off.

    by Mr Gorilla

    Just as I really wouldn't expect my wife get excited by a movie that has bikini-clad women all over the publicity shots, so I myself can't get over-excited about a movie where the selling point doesn't seem to be too different from a recent D&G advertising campaign: lots of shaven-chested men, shirts off, looking at the camera angrily, with weird connotations of gang-bang in the air. (And, by the way, I love teen movies - CLUELESS and DAZED AND CONFUSED are two of the very most enjoyable American movies of the '90s.) Now, mind you, I'm not saying that movies where men have their shirts off shouldn't exist - they plainly should! It's the least women could expect. Just don't expect me to get all excited about it. And, by the way, what IS it with this fear of body hair? In CASINO ROYALE, I found it difficult to buy Daniel Craig as a tough bruiser when he so obviously shaved his chest.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:12 a.m. CST

    Um, this is for an audience that can't figure out Twitter

    by lockesbrokenleg

    No wonder there's a sequence like that.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:13 a.m. CST

    do they fuck on this one?

    by lavatory love machine

    just wondering

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:15 a.m. CST

    Laughing at movies which you also enjoy

    by Mr Gorilla

    Quint I agree that it's a terrible thing to laugh at a movie then say that you loved it - but we boys have to admit to the habit (at least I do). I spent much of the 80s and 90s watching terrible Arnie movies, enjoying the hell out of them, but for the most part knowing that the guy in the lead role was a terrible, terrible actor. It's called a guilty pleasure. It's OK, I think I've stopped doing it now - as (thank god) have many blockbusters. But Roland Emmerich - you are guilty! What happened to the cheeky and self-aware humour you showed in INDEPENDENCE DAY?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:18 a.m. CST

    Ebert gave it 1 star! This movie is garbage!

    by Orionsangels

    Sorry tweens, your little vampire phenomenon is lame!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:23 a.m. CST

    As James Woods once said....

    by JuanSanchez

    Well first of all, they're not romatic. Its not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:23 a.m. CST

    Arnold's movies weren't garbage

    by caruso_stalker217

    Most of them, anyway. I still say he's the only guy to ever play pregnant convincingly.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:24 a.m. CST

    lol

    by Uncle_Pooch

    and the sequel is in post

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Orionsangels

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Why the eff is Ebert still the go to guy for reviews? Didn't Ebert love Phantom Menace? Oh yeah, he did. Yet fanboys hate it.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:32 a.m. CST

    "I loved it.": It's called "sarcasm", Quint

    by criticalbliss

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:33 a.m. CST

    Twilight fans are in no way self-aware

    by criticalbliss

    I think that's safe to say, people...

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:44 a.m. CST

    I saw it today...

    by Antz

    ...with my wife and 300 teenage girls, there were two other guy in the theater who were there with their girlfriends. Your review is pretty much spot on Quint.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:47 a.m. CST

    What bothers me is...

    by WavingFlagsInSpace

    ...that it has to done so shoddily. I mean, if you're going to make a amjor franchise then at leats have the decency to put good filmmakers in control so that it has a degree of artistic merit. Just because it's popular culture doesn't mean it has to be done without thought and aimed at the lowest common denominator.<p>That said, it'll be full of teenage girls sighing so I guess that's job done. It's just a shame they couldn't be sighing at a good film. God, I wish they'd go and see An Education instead.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:04 a.m. CST

    I've said it before; I'll say it again:

    by Rocco Curioso

    Teenage girls en masse make for an absurdly powerful demographic among moviegoers. THEY'RE the reason "Titanic" is the all-time box office champ by a margin of $700 million. Repeat viewings by girls made moist by Leonardo DiCaprio in '97-'98... now replaced in '08-'09 by a new legion of girls who are reacting to Robert Pattinson the same way (albeit not on such a vast scale).<P>"New Moon" is critic-proof. It could score 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and it will STILL make $80-$100 million U.S. the first weekend, and eventually settle at $400 million worldwide. The Twilight Saga is a phenomenon. It can't be stopped; it must run its course.<P>The only chink in the armor may be the casting of daddy's girl/box office semi-poison Bryce Dallas Howard in the third movie "Eclipse" (on a side note, the girl she replaced, Rachel Lefevre, is a smokin' redhead hottie and the only reason I saw the first movie). Apparently the Twihards weren't too happy about that... which means they'll go see "Eclipse" only twice instead of four times.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Arnie

    by Bloo

    didn't start making embarressing movies until after the 80s and 90s<P>but the thing is we could laugh at the situations or whatever but we connected to Arnie (or Sly or Dolph or Chuck or Steven or Jean Claude) because we connected with their char...apperantly something lacking in New Moon (and was in Twilight)

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:17 a.m. CST

    I'll say it again

    by caruso_stalker217

    Did I *urinate* on your rug? <p>No, really. Arnold. Pregnant. It's like when he and DeVito played twins. The fucking magic of cinema. TRUE LIES? Arnold in a sweater. Do you need me to draw you a picture?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Man up, Quint

    by Dr. Butthole

    Say you didn't like it. Say it was a poorly done film. Don't give your excuses for why *some* of it was ok, *despite* being a Twilight movie. Watch it as a movie, give your critique and say whether it was good or bad. I appreciate your desire to seperate yourself from the He-Man Woman Haters Club and not hate this movie just because, but don't defend it despite what it is... just say it's a bad film.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Damn it, it's "Stephenie", not "Stephanie"

    by tonagan

    I know, it's not your fault that her parents were retarded, but that's how they spelled her name.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:26 a.m. CST

    shaved chests

    by criticalbliss

    are more for the gay male demographic than the teen girls, methinks....

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:40 a.m. CST

    Go away Pussy!

    by DioxholsterReturns

    Go away! no one wants you here!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:42 a.m. CST

    AICN is for dick only

    by DioxholsterReturns

    no pussy allowed!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:44 a.m. CST

    Still Just A Rip-Off Of Buffy

    by Media Messiah

    Twilight is just a derivative of Buffy, and that's all it will ever be.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:50 a.m. CST

    I appreciate this site for being Pro-dick

    by DioxholsterReturns

    Talkbacks remain pussy-free and that is attributed to our pro-dick ideals. Twilight should only be talked about from a Pro-dick perspective.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:11 a.m. CST

    She wants to be this generation's...

    by Happyfat73

    She wants to be this generation's Jane Austin. And Edward is her Mr Darcy.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:11 a.m. CST

    I Am Pro Pussy!!!

    by Media Messiah

    I wish there was more of it on this site. This sausage party, needs some pussy!!!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:14 a.m. CST

    I feel for Quint.

    by BurnedNotice_Dude

    I really do.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:32 a.m. CST

    Harry's analysis of New Moon

    by BDuncan

    It'd be interesting to read Harry's analysis of the film (to see if it's also negative), but similar to the piece of shit Transformers 2 movie, this is critic proof. Readers should nominate other, much better (and much better written) horror themed or non horror themed romance books.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:32 a.m. CST

    Get it straight!!!!

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    Let's get one thing straight. The audience from the books was, until the mania hit, completely different to the films.<p> Lot's of people like books. Even if those 'Lot's of People' were slightly overweight goth girls who were a bit unpopular at school and as a result now, in their mid to late 20's, try and make friends by telling people about how they practice Wicca within 10 minutes of meeting them.<p> You know the type, the kind who dabble in self-harm and cry during sex.<p> But the movies ? Urrgh. Awful, awful films that feel like they were knocked together in 10 minutes flat. And we all know that bad filmaking is not always a crime, but LAZY filmaking is the worst thing that can ever happen. These films are LAZY to the extreme. But that can get away with it because they are aimed at air-head teenage girls who are incapable of even the stunted thought processes of the aforementioned tubby, self-harming Wicca botherers.<p> The things that filmakers have to do to appeal to this audience is actually fairly minimal as they are ridiculous sheeple. It starts with the cast.<p> This is quite the least appealing cast ever in a movie. It's like the overspill from an MTV Spring Break Special and the shiny, polished background cast from Gossip Girl.<p> No thought required, just make the cinematic equivalent of the Jonas Brothers (reference South Park episode with unexplained tingling between legs at concert) and sit back waiting for the money to roll in.<p> The truly scarey thing is not that these types of movies can get made, but that the kind of people who flock to them will one day have a vote that carrys as much power as yours. Be afraid!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Generational crap

    by Le Phantom

    Every generation needs it's crap movies!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:41 a.m. CST

    Never made it through the first one...

    by quantize

    My wife stood up and said 'we're not watching this embarassing shit'...I agreed but I was already looking at the computer screen. It's sugary self pitying precious mind candy for little girls that rots the brain..nothing more.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:42 a.m. CST

    I FUCKING LOVE

    by WINONARYDERS_PUSSYJUlCE

    THE DICK

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:42 a.m. CST

    TAINTLICKS BACK BITCHES!!!!

    by WINONARYDERS_PUSSYJUlCE

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:45 a.m. CST

    Yet more twilight porn

    by Lost Jarv

    "Bella didn't understand it. She'd been under a cold shower for 45 minutes and yet she still couldn't get the image of Edward's schlong that she'd seen when he took a piss out of her head. She knew there was only one thing for it, only one thing that would ease the ache between her legs. She turned the heat up to warm, unhooked the shower head and went to work"

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:46 a.m. CST

    quantize

    by WINONARYDERS_PUSSYJUlCE

    SHUT THE FUCK UP CUNT

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:49 a.m. CST

    winonaryders_pussyjuice

    by quantize

    put your tampon back in you caps lock 'tard.. i'd kick you in the nuts if you had any.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:01 a.m. CST

    MICHAEL SHEEN IS IN THIS?

    by ISleptWithKathyBatesAndAllThatIGotWasThisStupidTalkbackName

    Say it aint so! I love that guy's work (he even made Underworld 3 good).

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:08 a.m. CST

    The chick that wrote these Twilight books is creepy as fuck...

    by Galactic

    I saw an interview with her and she's batshit insane. Apparently Twilight was written from a bunch of dreams she had, and she claims "Edward" still talks to her in her dreams.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv..just two more minutes, I was so close

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Bunny, ball ball

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    I think bunnies got todays ball ball

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Looking forward to the RiffTraxx of this.

    by Dingbatty

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:25 a.m. CST

    I'm buying a ticket for something else

    by reflecto

    and sneaking in to watch Taylor Lautner take off his shirt. Again, and again, and again.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:28 a.m. CST

    And BTW Lautner's bod is the only reason to go

    by reflecto

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:41 a.m. CST

    I just fucking hate it- it's evil mormon porn

    by Lost Jarv

    for the socially unacceptable. Google Sparkle, stoney and twilight for the ultimate deconstruction/ hatchet job on it.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:43 a.m. CST

    This is a TWEEN movie.

    by Switzerland

    Unless you are a 13 year old girl or a housewife, you should NOT be seeing these rag movies.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Lautner...

    by Codename V

    How in the world did you naturally gain 30 pounds of muscle in less than a year? Truth is, you can't. Not naturally anyway. HGH anyone? Couple of shots to the tushy with a little roid action perhaps? World class athletes work their arses off and maybe gain 5-8 pounds of muscle in a year by eating right and working out. Even the protein drinks wouldn't be enough... What people won't do for fame.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Meyers

    by ToshiroShimura

    I wonder how much money the LDS are going to reap from this franchise. It's like they compiled every semi-talented or intelligent Mormon, set them at 12 typewriters (leaving 88 depressingly empty) and pumped out the books in a couple of weeks in between throwing of feces and peddling door to door. They were planned and calculated to make money, hands down, and every teenage girl and her under-sexed mother who sees the movie or buys the books should be sent a "thanks for your donation" card from the church. Fuck Twilight

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:16 a.m. CST

    WTF is Sheen thinking?

    by American Mythos

    If he's trying to cultivate a fanbase here that might follow him to his next project -- he's mistaken. Twilight fans aren't into the cerebral movies that Sheen makes and so this only stands as a disappointment on an otherwise awesome resume. Last I read Sheen was rumored to play Robert Kennedy in "The Last Campaign." Get to it already and quit flirting with this bullshit.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Quint's puzzlement about Twilight's Fans mirrors mine...

    by AsimovLives

    ... about the STINO fans. What Quint said could had been my very words about STINO. Quint was amazed that how people who laughed at a movie (that in his eyes is pretty bad and very flawed, with all the hallmarks of a bad movie), were aware of it's faults, and yet came out of the theater calling it good. I have the same puzzlement toward the STINO fans.<br><br>But Quint has an advantage over me. If he wants to understand the mind of the Twilight fans, all he needs is to look at himself and his fan love for STINO. Me, i don't have that advantage, since i dislike both STINO and the Twilight Emo Vampyres From Lame Saga bullshit.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:18 a.m. CST

    And of course, can't wait for the Herzog interview.

    by AsimovLives

    Werner Herzog is just unbelievable. It's impossible to have a boring interview with him.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:18 a.m. CST

    American Mythos

    by AsimovLives

    He was thinking about the fat paycheck. He will get more out of being in 5 minutes in this movie then in 5 years making theater.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Twilight is Anne Rice for retards

    by HarryBlackPotter

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:22 a.m. CST

    That wasn't laughter

    by daggor

    That was the sound of 300 soccer moms nervously bringing themselves to climax with popcorn butter-soaked fingers.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:24 a.m. CST

    STINO?

    by ToshiroShimura

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Lautner said in an interview...

    by American Mythos

    ... that a 40-something soccer mom asked him, a 17 year old, to sign her panties if she took them off. No sane man would do this at a public event involving a 17-year-old female "actor" and not be hauled away in cuffs. There's something seriously twisted about Twilight fans that removes any inhibitions they might have.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:29 a.m. CST

    I think he means Star Trek In Name Only? I don't know.

    by American Mythos

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Its almost here!!!!!!!

    by Dancingforever

    Oh Man! Its finally almost here. I talked my Uncle Steve into taking myself and a bunch of us from school to the premier tonight. He has a van so 8 of us are all going and its going to be amazing. I know that New Moon isn't for a lot of people here but I would ask that some of you check it out and you might be surprised at how cool its going to be, way better than the disatour movie about the Aztecs or whatever. Everyone in my school is either going tonight or Friday, or at the latest this weekend at the mall. Its funny because a bunch of us are wearing team Edward shirts but some people are wearing team Jacob shirts so we are going to pretend to be mad at each other and stuff it should be funny. I hope some of you give this movie a chance because it's going to be really cool and you might find something you didnt think you would like thats really cool.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:31 a.m. CST

    FUCKING LOVE YOU ASIMOV

    by WINONARYDERS_PUSSYJUlCE

    CAUSE THAT CAT SAYS I'M JUST LIKE HOUSE

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever

    by Sin86a

    Hey I'll give New Moon a shot if you give Cannibal Holocaust a shot.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Sin86a

    by Dancingforever

    That doesn't sound like my kind of movie but I will watch as long as it's not rated R, i'm not old enought to see rated R movies.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Danciungforever

    by American Mythos

    That's the best impression of a Twilight fan I've seen yet. It's an impression... right?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever

    by Papa Lazaru

    If dancingforever is legit . Then we have an under 17 female on the AICN talkback . Somebody call social services quick . No child should be submitted to some of these degenerates ......no offence

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:53 a.m. CST

    KRISTIN STEWART LOOKS LIKE A BOY

    by BringingSexyBack

    That's a problem.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Ive posted here

    by Dancingforever

    For the last 6 months giving everyhting I could find on this movie and trying to support it even though people keep calling me names and stuff, Im not sure why anyone would think im not for real. Im am also a guy, I have talked about how my girlfriend and I both like Twilight so Im not sure why there would be a doubt. I just dont understand why its so wrong to like these movies or any movies that are cool. Like I said before I think a lot of people here dont like them because they can act cool and stuff, but I think its a lot cooler to have stuff you like to watch and look forward to. Most people here dont seem to like anything. If you guys want I can post my review tomorrow that will be from the point of view of a real fan and stuff and not someone trying to bash it just to look cool. I really think that if most people here saw it they would change there mind and like it more than not like it. Theres more special effects, more action, and Kristen Stewart is about the hottest girl you could want to see in a movie. I wish the Dad was going to be in it more because I like his character but hes not supposed to be in it as much, that would be the one thing I am not as excited about but the rest fo the movie looks real good, I wish you guys would give it a chance.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:55 a.m. CST

    briningsexyback

    by Papa Lazaru

    Cos you're into men . Right ? Sorry , could not resist .

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever

    by Papa Lazaru

    You are a straight guy, yet you plan to be wear a "Team Edward" shirt to the cinema tomorrow. Live and let live I suppose.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8 a.m. CST

    Though it pains me to do this...

    by Hanoi_Xan

    Quint, I dearly love your reviews and interviews, but the time has come to deal with certain facts. There is not a myriad of anything. Ever. "Myriad" is interchangeable with "many," e.g. "there are myriad logical errors." ::ninja vanish::

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Roger Ebert wrote a far better review ....

    by standundermyumbrella

    ,,,in which he tore this movie a new asshole! Why is Capone's reviews always so lukewarm. I doudt he wrote that HE HATED a fucking movie and ripped it to shreds!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:06 a.m. CST

    What is the lion fingerblasted the lamb?

    by Charles_Corkey_Thatcher

    and never called her again. Twilight: The Reality

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:07 a.m. CST

    I mean Quint not Capone!

    by standundermyumbrella

    Is it the gay thing sensitive boy?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:07 a.m. CST

    you want creepy twilight fans?

    by Bouncy X

    just read yesterday a tidbit on msn where Pattison mentioned some girls and women are asking him to suck their blood....through some open wounds they already have. my god, girls are awesome but its sad how easily manipulated and creepily obsessed they get with stuff.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:21 a.m. CST

    No one gives a Fuck...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    about this tampon of a movie. "That's another one for the fire."

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:27 a.m. CST

    This movie is such shit

    by Canuck815

    that it even ruins an okay soundtrack for me knowing many of the songs were written explicitly for the film. Fuck, I really like that Bon Iver song but the last thing I need to see is Kristen Stewart stuttering and running her hands through her hair while it plays in the background.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:38 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever may be young and impressionable

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    but he's more rational than some of the so-called adults here. At least he's not spewing the same crap over and over again. <p> Nerd_Rage take a bow.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Canuck815

    by Dancingforever

    Do you like Sea Wolf? They have a song called Violet Hour on the soundtrack thats really cool. The Killers Demon Love song is real good to. You should check out the movie, I bet you will like it more than you think you will. Some people thought the first one was kind of slow but this one has cool werewolf vampire fights, vampire royalty, and everything. The review above doesnt do the movie justice, I will post my review tomorrow after seeing it, I cant see how this movie could be bad because everyoen says it is better than the first one and the first one was really cool.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:05 a.m. CST

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    Does your girlfriend cry during sex?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:21 a.m. CST

    as if they're having sex

    by Lost Jarv

    don't be daft. <P>He's a 45 year old basement dwelling, cheetoh stained virgin that's having you all on.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:22 a.m. CST

    terrible films...

    by VermithraxPejorative

    Movies like this is why I don't see any hope for hollywood. People will go see this shit but won't go to great films. The first twilight was awful, it was like a bad buffy ripoff, only without plot twists and good dialogue. The first hour of the film was Bella trying to figure out what the deal was with Edward, whom the audience already is fully aware is a vampire. then, all of a sudden they would rather be dead then without each others love? this is a complete mess. When people tell me how much they love these films I simply think they are lying... for some sick reason I can't understand.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:23 a.m. CST

    You've always heard that joke

    by Series7

    From the comedian where he is talking to a chick and she is into him going, "Oh ahahahaha you are so funny!.....I'm gonna go make out with that rock star now." <P> The relationship in this movie is just showing that.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Ok someone said this was kinda like Gossip Girl...

    by rogueleader66

    While I have never watched either Twilight or Gossip Girl nor am I interested in either, looking at the cast of both, I would have to say GG has a distinct advantage in having smokin hot Leighton Meester AND Blake Lively, while Twilight has Kristen Stewart whom I would really just like to punch in the face. So if I had to be tortured with one, gimme the one with the hot chicks. Better yet, just gimme an hour of Blake and Leighton in the shower together, thats even better.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Quint has seen the latest installment of the Twilight Saga!

    by Gungan Slayer

    And no one gives a shit ! alas--it is too ingrained in popular culture.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Twilight really really aint cool..Review Misfits

    by Lane_myers111

    Its criminal you havent reviewed or given an opinion on new british superhero show "Misfits"..first episode aired last monday and the second is tonight. Great first episode. Brilliant script,interesting characters,very promising. Its like a dirtier version of heroes (or xmen). What other show has a scene of one girl running from a psychotic killer being combined with a young hot chick giving some pretty good simulated head to a bottle.answer "misfits"

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Please make this series go away

    by supercowbell5THECOWBELLHASSPOKEN

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Regarding New Moon

    by rogueleader66

    It looks just as cheesy and stupid as the first film, only this time with....wait for it....Werewolves!!! Ooooohhhhh....awesome. Hmmmm...vampires at odds with werewolves, we haven't seen that before now have we? Twilight is a just a series or recycled ideas done badly with bad acting and piss poor production. This tool Edward is a fucking pedophile. The guy is what a few hundred yeard old and he is trolling the high schools for underage tail? Sick fuck. My g/f's daughter is a huge Twilight fan and told me one time that Edward sits by the chicks bed and watches her sleep. WTF???? That isn't sweet or romantic, it's just fucking creepy. She keeps telling me I should watch the movie and give it a chance, yet everything I hear about this movie just convinces me that not seeing it is the best choice I could possibly make. Although I do have to say, she said to me and her mom that New Moon doesn't look all that good, but I am sure she will see it anyway, hopefully she will hate it and get off this Twilight kick. I can only hope.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:38 a.m. CST

    I would say it's much worse than Hannah M or bratz

    by CreamCheeseAlchemist

    unless you consider it a black comedy. youtube RZwM3GvaTRM

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:54 a.m. CST

    "Don't get me upset"

    by American Mythos

    That's a line that Lautner spews from the promo. That's got to be the stupidest piece of writing I've ever heard someone shit out in a movie preview. "Don't get me upset"? He also has a sour face when he says it, like he has an upset stomach. Just a shitty shitty looking movie and probably an even shittier line of books from some religious batshit insane fanatic. Can't we just lock "Going Rogue" and "Twilight" fans in a caged death match. They're defining "artistic success" in this country and world and what they're defining is so de-evolutionary that it makes one sad for humanity.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I cry during sex

    by Snookeroo

    just cause I'm so grateful to get laid.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:03 a.m. CST

    should have said de-revolutionary...

    by American Mythos

    but maybe de-evolutionary is just as fitting.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    I hate Ebert..

    by bobbyperusteeth

    Anyone who would publicly boo David Lynch is a fucking moron.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:27 a.m. CST

    by SSquirrel

    Ya know the whole Vampires vs Werewolves thing was old when Underworld came out. It at least dates back to 1991 with White Wolf's World of Darkness setting for their Vampire and Werewolf RPGs. They lost their lawsuit against Underworld but I'm surprised they didn't try to sue. The Vultori or whatever are basically serving the role of a prince of a city in Vampire. You broke the masquerade, time to die.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:30 a.m. CST

    This movie was not made for us.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    <p>The only reason I watched the first one is because I know one of the actors (Jasper), so I felt obligated.</p><p>My girlfriend and all her friends are absolutely nutszoid insane for this series so she bought us tickets to go. I have to admit the trailer for this one looks MUCH better than the last movie, though like others have mentioned, the one guy spending most of the movie shirtless is disparaging.</p>

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST

    PAPA LAZ

    by BringingSexyBack

    Good one

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST

    SET PHASERS TO WTF!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever is just a prank

    by Meadowe

    First they pretend to be a girl in a twilight tb that ends up deleted, then in the tb with one of the twilight stars they say they're a guy that went to a twilight themed halloween party with their girlfriend. Even though the original twilight tb dancingforever appeared in was deleted, I remember them writing stupid shtuff like "Bella's in love with edward, she's only in like with werewolf boy (I forgot and don't care to remember his name)". Because of that I thought df was a female, then they pretend to be a dude in the next talkback? No straight male types shtuff like that, not even on an anonymous place like this unless they're just joshin' around

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever

    by Star Hump

    Lather up your dong for Jesus!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 11:48 a.m. CST

    The Teenie-boppers are going to enjoy this shit.

    by Ganymede3001

    This piece of shit is going to make a ton a the box office too.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 11:51 a.m. CST

    "Calvin Klein werewolf"

    by HoboCode

    LOL! Nice one. Fuck this shit.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 11:52 a.m. CST

    The best part

    by Star Hump

    of all this Twilight nonsense is all the emascualted "guys" that are being forced by their girlfriends and wives to go see this horrid tripe. I'm laughing just imagining you hapless milquetoasts sitting in a theater, surrounded by witless, keening cunts, and enduring this 2-hour shitfest. Prepare yourselves eunuchs, it's going to suck. Say hi to Edward for me, and don't forget to put on your sparkles.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Hey Stephanie Meyers

    by DrMorbius

    I thought I saw a NEW MOON last night...<P>but it was only URANUS!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 12:08 p.m. CST

    Sayonara Nerd_Rage, back to Chud you go

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    Get in your home, are you too good for your home????

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST

    ^ ^ ^ WTF!!! ^ ^ ^<P>

    by DrMorbius

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Awww fuck me

    by Series7

    Why'd I have to drag my wife to see 2012 and Wild Things Are...now I'm gonna have to see this shit.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 12:39 p.m. CST

    A movie for girls and gay dudes.

    by Nerdgasm

    This movie is targeted at young women, and gay dudes. Period. I'm going to have to take my wife to this because it's important to her and she likes the books, and as a husband, sometimes you have to do things you don't like because you love your wife. But I can tell you without any doubt, that the whole time I'm in watching the movie, I'm going to be wishing I'd brought a fork so that I could poke my eyes out.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 1:05 p.m. CST

    THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN TWILIGHT:

    by Stabby

    SARAH PALIN!!!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 1:19 p.m. CST

    by JediWuddayaknow

    So...do you guys pretty much review these Twilight movies pretty much as punching bags? Why fucking bother? Is there anyone on this site who LIKES Twilight? Honest question. This isn't your usual AICN asshole forcing his opinion as fact like "WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT NEW STAR TREK" or some shit. Is there ANYONE on AICN who cares about Twilight?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 1:33 p.m. CST

    by JediWuddayaknow

    Also, despite that I think this "(insert initial here)INO" shit is incredibly obnoxious and gay, fans of the new Star Trek are more warranted in that at least the movie was entertaining to MUCH wider set of demographic than Twilight. Star Trek was a fun movie for those who aren't know-it-alls that analyze nit pick the fuck out of a Star Trek movie like it's fucking Nietzsche and love to hate everything.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:33 p.m. CST

    LAME

    by WillardGreensThunderballs

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    wow. I got deleted!! Guess I was too negative?

    by Brody77

    Posted minutes after this went live saying this wasn't a review & lo & behold, it's gone. Ah well.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:37 p.m. CST

    I will get the eye-wash for you, Quint..!

    by venvariants

    Your poor eyes - I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this. Nobody does.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:23 p.m. CST

    JediWuddayaknow

    by AsimovLives

    I'm certain that the Twilight fans also think that the movie is extremely fun and entertaining. The fun excuse to justify STINO but to damn Twilight doesn't hold. You will need to find better arguments. It's the same old "eye of the beholder" thing, you know?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Quint has seen the latest installment?

    by strosmer

    Why?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 4:57 p.m. CST

    that buff dude with the annoying face who plays the main werwolf

    by peopleintrees

    kinda reminds me of a douchebag

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 5:15 p.m. CST

    i love hot guys ..and

    by mysterygirlx11

    neither guy in the is movie is good looking. Edward has hair and eyebrow issues (i know that is supposed to be alluring nothing says sexy vampire like eyebrow hair 2 inches long !! and Jacob has that cro-mag forehead and looks like he is missing a chromosome. let me quote my hubby regarding the first film "Vampires don't play F*'ing BASEBALL"!!!

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Vampires would indeed play baseball.

    by Dingbatty

    With someone's head as the ball.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:27 p.m. CST

    I gave it a shot

    by liljuniorbrown

    I used to bitch when my girlfriend (now wife) used to soak her seat over Buffy. I hated it even though I refused to watch it or Angel. During an extended time out of work I watched Angel reruns on TNT from the first season.....I was wrong. I fell in love with both shows and watched them religously until they went off the air. I rented Twilight with my wife and it is fucking horrible. The make-up the acting everything in the movie was just dreadful. The girl that plays Bella always looks like she just shit herself and she's on the edge of a nervous breakdown while the Edward guy just looks like a moron. Atleast the two leads on Angel and Buffy were attractive people.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Quint - God, I Know that Feeling

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    Have you ever listened to Patton Oswalt's WEREWOLVES AND LOLLIPOPS? He does this great bit about local newspaper critics in his hometown: "Coming up next on my review show is a review of this movie from Austrailia, so we know it's going to be a bad movie right there, called THE ROAD WARRIOR, set in the future. There are no roads in this movie. I DON'T GET IT! NO STARS! But that's ok; also out this week is a movie about four men who have to raise a BABY! THIS IS SO FUNNY!"

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 8:58 p.m. CST

    Quint - ALSO -

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    The local critic in The Oregonian when i was younger was this total piece of shit douchebag who would give every single horror film Zero Stars without even a thught - he just lumped them all together as the same thing, and would put stuff into his reviews like: Rated R for slime, blood, ooze, puss and other things you don't want to see in a movie under any circumstances. God, he was a douche. Fortunately, he stopped reviewing movies. I would read every review in the local paper just to try to get a taste of all the cool-sounding movies I cold not get to see since I loved movies so much. "This slasher film is horrible, because all slasher films are horrible" read one of his reviews I remember being totally apalled by as a kid.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9 p.m. CST

    Taylor Lautner, a Caveman?

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    Fuck, what's wrong with you? Taylor Lautner - not a hot guy? What the fuck?

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:08 p.m. CST

    I still have the best Twilight story

    by JillianneSix

    I was forced into going, because at the time, I didn't know what I was walking into. I made such a spectacle in the theater, because I didn't realize what a shitfest my friends had brought me to until it was too late. I talked during the movie, sighed with disgust loudly. I hated it and made fun of it publicly. But, let me back up. When we were going into the movie, I noticed there were two actors in the theater with us, accompanied by an entourage (or so I thought). Brett Cullen, who is a great character actor (Goodwin on "Lost") and Melissa McGraw (Melissa Scully on "X-Files") were seated a few rows behind us and they were with a few older guys and a young girl with long dark hair (who I thought was McGraw's Daughter, initially). And, I went about my detesting of the movie. And the credits of the movie rolled and everyone clapped for a certain actress while her picture was on-screen and I said (very loudly), "I hope they are clapping for her, cuz this movie sucked." Long story short: Ashley Greene, who plays Alice, was the girl with the long dark hair sitting two rows behind me. I didn't realize it until I googled why McGraw and Cullen were at the theater (they were making a movie called "Skateland" with Greene in Marshall, TX). And even though Greene and Billy Burke were the best actors in the movie...It still sucked. And, I was embarrassed I ruined the movie for Greene. Oops.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:27 p.m. CST

    JillianeSix

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    I had a similar experience. Was at a book store and picked up a book and said "Holy shit, this guy is still putting out this crap? It's a fucking national tragedy." And the writer looked over at me from the other side of the aisle and said "Oh, I'm so sorry you feel that way about my work. Why do you hate it so much?"

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 9:44 p.m. CST

    ThusSpakeSpymunk

    by JillianneSix

    And what do you say? I mean, I feel bad that she was in the theater, but the movie was still horrible. I feel bad for those people making these movies. I mean, I'm not going to read it, I sure as hell ain't going to watch it, but I *LOVE* reading the reviews that tear them apart. To Ashley Greene, I apologize.

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:56 p.m. CST

    JillianeSix you're just like me

    by Meadowe

    Nice to see another girl here. Anyways, I didn't see the first one in theatres, but someone's giving me a ticket cuz they know I <3 Dakota Fanning. But I'm planning on yelling after the movie, "what's that smel? Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    by Meadowe

    .....love Dakota Fanning and wanna convert me into a twilight lemming. Anyway as soon as credits roll im gonna yell out "what's that smell? Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DOOOOOKIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 12:52 a.m. CST

    I got drug to this

    by newmoonsucks

    and changed my name

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Years ago I was at an Halloween goth

    by Dingbatty

    music fest and a friend who I'd just gotten to know asked me what I thought of the band The Cruxshadows, and I answered loudly -- this being a noisy club -- that I'd never seen them, but I'd heard one of their albums and I thought they were cheesy, trying-to-hard poseurs, and...my friend pointed out that they were signing autographs at a table immediately behind me. I just turned and winked at them.<p>Years later, I get to know an acquaintance of the band who tells me that the lead singer is a member of the du Pont family who goes by the name of "Rogue" to hide his lineage. By all accounts Rogue is a massive douche.

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 1:39 a.m. CST

    My review is in, and New Moon is best movie of year

    by Dancingforever

    Alright guys, Im also submitting my review to our school paper, if some of you can make civilized comments I will try to include them in our feedback section. "New Moon. The second movie in the Twilight Saga is called New Moon and it was released tonight. Myself and seven other students from Stewart Home School were lucky enough to get to see the film this evening at the midnight screening. We attended the Cinemark at the Fayette Mall. This was my first time at this theater and it’s really cool. The seats are awesome and the sound system is in 3D. Anyone who has seen the previews knows how the movie starts. There is a birthday party for Bella, played by Mrs. Kristen Stewart, that goes wrong and makes Edward, played by the brilliant Mr. Robert Pattinson, realize he can no longer be her boyfriend and must move away. This makes Bella very sad. She finds that she can however still see ghost like images of Edward whenever her life is in danger. She tries various things to keep her excitement level high because that’s the only way she can feel close to Edward, she is super in love with him. As time goes by she starts to develop feelings for her friend Jacob, played by Mr. Taylor Lautner. Jacob starts to fall in love with Bella but he doesn’t tell her a big secret, he is a were wolf. This becomes known however when he is forced to transform to protect her from another Vampire named Laurent who is real uncool. He and another Vampire named Victoria, who never speaks in this movie, is mad at Bella for things that happened at the baseball game in the movie Twilight and things that happened after that also. A lot of people have been very critical of Bella’s character but I see where she is coming from. Bella loves Edward very much, and when he is gone she becomes very upset, has bad dreams, and leans on her friend Jacob. She is definitely in like with Jacob, but she loves Edward. When you see it that way it makes a lot more sense, I don’t think she is using Jacob, she just doesn’t love him she just likes him. On the other side of the world Edward eventually receives word that Bella has been successful in committing suicide and decides he will commit suicide also. He decides to walk in the sun and reveal himself to the world so the Volturi will end him. The Volturi are only in a small part of the film but are very cool, and if the next movie is like the next book people are going to say they are about the best vampires in any movie ever. Eventually Edward and Bella do reunite and find a way out of a very bad situation but there is a good chance that something from the last ten minutes of the movie will be very significant to the next movie that is supposed to be titled Eclipse and could be the last movie of the Twilight Saga. The camera work in this movie is real cool, and there are a lot of scenes that are shot in ways you don’t see in most movies. I feel the camera works helps explain the emotion of certain characters that don’t talk a lot like Edward. The dialogue is also very good and there are many times during the movie that you feel like you are hearing a real conversation not something from a movie. Talking in movies always slows things down but in New Moon its cool and the subjects talked about are real cool. The acting is tremendous and Mrs Stewart does a great job and makes you feel every moment of hardship she experiences with Edward gone. Speaking of Edward, in my research he would be most comparable to a Marlin Brando for this generation. He is very expressive in the way he moves and broods, sometimes he doesn’t have to say anything and you know what he is thinking and going through. For super fans like me it’s also cool to see him in Rio and the dream/vision sequences with Bella. I give Twilight 5 stars out of a possible 5. Although many movie sites have said it’s not a good movie I can testify it is a very good movie with real good acting and a lot of cool action and excitement and love. This is easily the best movie I have seen and far better than 2012 or Transformers 2 which are also ok but are not as deep but just have cool special effects. More than anything New Moon shows again what we learned from the first movie, that love is very powerful and it can help people through almost any situation.

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Dancingforever...

    by Dr. Butthole

    I don't know if this is real or not, but if it isn't, you are a GENIUS. If it is, you should talk to your home school teachers about grammar, puncuation... really ANYTHING involving writing. Otherwise... AWESOME.

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 2:40 a.m. CST

    HAHAHA Dancingforever

    by detectivesoap

    That was excellent. On a different yet similar tip, I finally glanced through all these books people are jabbering on about. It was Rowling vs. Meyer all the way. I didn't give a fuck about Harry fucking buttfuck Potter and was really leery of the Twilight series, but I decided that of the two, Rowling was a much, much, much, better writer. Meyer writes like she's twelve. Open one of her books and count the adverbs, please, I dare you. I can't even go on; I don't care; her books are an insult to women everywhere and anybody that likes them is not worth more than three seconds of my time. I can't believe there are people in my college classes that read this shit. Usually they're the same people that talk about the "black experience" and love Will Fagspeare but can't name more than three of his shoved-down-our-English-majoring-throats plays. <p> God my post is rife with error, but "don't judge me, judge Meyer" he said sourly, sadly, brutally, callously, stupidly, ick.

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 7:10 a.m. CST

    edward

    by notkinski

    I think that is the name of the douch bag character.....anyway he always looks like he is letting one fly in his vampire pants. undead shit and all that.

  • Nov. 20, 2009, 9:42 a.m. CST

    the keys to understanding harry are

    by emeraldboy

    1. its autobiographical. rowling uses the school as refrence to her education. </P> 2. loss.the death of her mother hung over rowling like a cloud. Rowling was i suspect deeply effected by her mothers death. writing the books was a therapy for her. rowling is a very private person and so only she knows how she felt. death does feature very heavily in the books at every stage.