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BigZ Walks The Beat With A COUPLE OF COPS From (Director-Only) Kevin Smith!

Beaks here...

For his first film as a director of someone else's material (and his second to be distributed without Bob and Harvey Weinstein), Kevin Smith has chosen A COUPLE OF COPS, a buddy-cop comedy structured around the disappearance of a 1952 Topps Andy Pafko baseball card. It stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, and... well, what else do you need to know? This will either be a brilliantly unconventional pairing or the next SHOWTIME. According to our spy BigZ, who checked out the film at a recent test screening, A COUPLE OF COPS is no SHOWTIME - nor is it LOOSE CANNONS or THE HARD WAY or DOWNTOWN or COLLISION COURSE. Evidently, it's pretty damn funny. In fact, if BigZ is on the money here, it sounds like this could easily open to more than ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO grossed in its entire theatrical run. And I'm 100% basing this on his "Rashida Jones in her lingerie" comment. BigZ's review is brief, but he does manage to give away what may be one of the film's biggest laughs, so beware. And, yes, the title is no longer A COUPLE OF DICKS. If this infuriates you, feel free to make your displeasure known in the below talkback. (My opinion: if this isn't a concession to the MPAA, either change the title completely or stick with "Dicks". A COUPLE OF COPS is just insultingly bland.)
Big Harry, If you use this call me BigZ Saw you didn’t have any reviews up of the new Kevin Smith movie, “A Couple of Dicks”. So here ya go... First off we were told the title is “A Couple of Cops,” now who knows what the thing will be called when it comes out but as far as I’m concerned if they call it ACOC I’ll ram my fist up someone for being that dumb. Possibly the most generic title ever. FYI they made us sign NDAs but did not actually check our ID so I am sure they will be amused by the alias I used which I will not repeat. Although the word “kack” is featured. I digress, the movie ROCKED. The scenes with Stifler in the back of the car with Bruce and Tracy are fucking golden. I am going to keep this spoiler free but will mention a couple things which will prove to be memorable. We have Tracy dressed in a cellphone outfit while he is undercover which leads to the stock buddy-cop scene with Tracy and Bruce being shat on by their superior in his office for ruining an ongoing investigation. As they hand over their badge and gun the scene went from being a retread of EVERY Lethal Weapon and Beverly Hills Cop movie to completely kick-ass due to the outlandishness of Tracy STILL IN HIS CELL-PHONE OUTFIT during the whole scene. Oh, and he ends up on youtube stealing a kids bike in yes, you guessed, the cell-phone outfit. The music though I am sure is mostly stock perfectly sets up the movie as what you hope it will be, a pitch-perfect take on the old-school 80’s/early 90’s buddy cop movies. You have more synthesizers than you can shake a stick at. It is perfect. No Jay-Z stupid shit, No Limp Bizkit or any new pop crap. Just cheesy 80’s cop music. PERFECT. Now who knows if that will stay the same but I am hoping so. KEVIN YOU LISTENING? The plot revolves around Bruce Willis getting a baseball card stolen by Stifler (who enjoys taking a shit at interesting times) which makes him unable to pay for his daughters wedding. Yes, you heard that right. That is the actual plot. I know it sounds RIDICULOUS but works perfectly and sets up the tone they are going for. Now there are some misfires, Adam Brody was hit and (mostly) miss as a dumb young cop trying to please Kevin Pollak. Pollack as usual is of course his usual awesome self. Also, the gangster played by Guillermo from Weeds is pretty much just that, Guillermo from Weeds. Now I’m not saying he’s not funny but HE IS THE EXACT SAME CHARACTER. The only thing to take me out of the movie is waiting for Mary-Louise Parker to walk her sweet ass in to slap him around. Also once again the plot is about a stolen baseball card so I’m sure this wont win any Oscars. But Kevin Smith has shown he can direct OPM (Other People’s Material) and still infuse his own wit. And he has nailed the tone and feel of the old-school cop movies we all grew up on. But we will all come out of this saying two things... Why do we not get a better look at Rashida Jones in her lingerie? AND How is an Andy Pafko card worth so much?!?! I know this wasn’t too in-depth but I am a few vodka tonics in to my Mad Men marathon and busy slapping my secretary on her ass. Do yourelf a favor and check these Dicks out when they are unsheathed in 2010... God I wish I was a copywriter for the ads for this movie. Too much fun... -BigZ

A COUPLE OF COPS is currently scheduled to hit theaters on February 26th, 2010. Looking forward to it.

Readers Talkback
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  • Nov. 17, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by The Dum Guy

    Generic name makes me angry...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Thought this was called "A couple of dicks"?

    by beetlegeuse

    you know, cuz they're detectives

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 1:59 p.m. CST

    What a shitty new title...

    by foxthebloodied

    Seriously. Stupid uptight studio...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2 p.m. CST

    The title change infuriates me.

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    Just kidding. Go Kevin!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2 p.m. CST

    Well DUH it will open big,

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    It stars Bruce Fucking Willis! Doesn't mean ti will be worth a shit. I mean, TRACY MORGAN? Has there EVER been a less funny person on SNL? And he co-stars with Bruce Willis? In what universe does that make a lick of fucking sense?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I am so infuriated. It's quite amazing just how infuriated I am

    by Royston Lodge


  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Why the card is valuable

    by MaxxFisher

    Pafko is perhaps best known for being card #1 in the 1952 Topps baseball card set. This card in near mint or better condition is often worth thousands of dollars because most collectors back in 1952 simply put the cards in numerical order and rubber banded the stack. This causes the top card (Pafko) to receive the most wear and tear and thus top grade copies are very rare and valuable.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST

    I could swear Kevin Smith wrote this...

    by santoanderson

    While reading this I envisioned Kevin on his laptop, giggling as he typed, "Hey Big Z here!" giggle, giggle, giggle....

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST

    No love for The Hard Way?

    by Jeremy Wheeler

    Whattup with that?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:08 p.m. CST


    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    GET IT? It's funny because he's in....A CELL PHONE OUTFIT! I tell ya, it's comedy gold!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:12 p.m. CST

    No Love For THE HARD WAY

    by mrbeaks

    Or any John Badham film post-STAKEOUT (though ANOTHER STAKEOUT has its moments).

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:13 p.m. CST


    by Chemicals

    OH. MY. GOD!!! That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. That is the most hilarious thing anyone is likely to see in any film this or any other year!! I mean, he kept his CELL PHONE OUTFIT on THE WHOLE TIME???? Who does that?? That is so funny my stomach hurts me right now. I can't believe they went there, but they did. I think I'll go get in line right now for the movie, just to make sure I don't miss that hilarious gag. Wow, a CELL PHONE OUTFIT??? Genius, I say, genius!!!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Huh did not know kevin was making another flick

    by Wookie_1995

    Thats Awesome Can't WAIT!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:15 p.m. CST


    by Chemicals

    REVENGE_of_FETT beat me to it!!! Fucker!!!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    They should keep it as Couple of Dicks...

    by tomimt

    I'm pretty sure, that people still grasp the double meaning of the word.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    I know, right?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    It's like, the pure genious of donning a cell phone outfit wasn't enough, they took it to the next fuxking level man! He KEEPS IT ON for several scenes! Hopefully someday someone will be brave enough to make us laugh so hard we risk blowing out our assholes by having someone wear a cell phone outfit FOR AN ENTIRE FILM!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST

    "The scenes with Stifler"

    by gavdiggity

    If you can't be bothered to look up the actor's actual name, why should I listen to your opinion?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Love for the Hard Way...

    by TedKordLives

    Much fucking love for the Hard Way. Especially Stephen Lang, who nearly walks away with the whole movie. <P> This movie will get a look-see from me. Kevin Smith directing Bruce Willis? Yeah, I'm there.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST

    "FYI they made us sign NDAs but did not actually check our ID"

    by 3 Bag Enema

    LOL Now STFU PDQ you SOB

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    That doesn't make any sense! Why not SOME COPS? or TWO COPS?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Absolutely nothing wrong with A COUPLE OF DICKS title.

    by riskebiz

    Suits. I hate them. If they end up calling this A Couple of Cops ... well, they can kiss their box office goodbye and it's all their fault coming up with a lame, generic title. It's not like A COUPLE OF DICKS is in the same ballpark as that Smith's "Zac and Miri Make A Porno" title. Now that screamed for a new title. From the obscure name Miri to Porno in the title ... it was asking for nobody to go to the flick. A COUPLE OF DICKS isn't exactly and apples to apples comparison.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Bruce Willis is no guarantee of a big movie opening

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Surrogates anyone?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Thank god

    by Series7

    We always need more buddy cops movies. I could awesome-o out buddy cop scripts all day.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:27 p.m. CST


    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    That film had confusing marketing and opened against Pandorum while still competing against 9, Jennifer's Body, Final Destination and Inglorious Basterds which were all the same demographic. Still it managed to open to $15M, $5M more than zack and Miri opened to (which by the way had nothing remotely similar in theaters at the time).

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST

    "That's a promise. From me... to you"

    by Rocco Curioso

    "NO!... FrommetoYOU!". Can't say I was too taken by "The Hard Way" (James Woods and Michael J. Fox may have been the most awkward buddy pairing in movie history). Still, Stephen Lang as The Party Crasher was a priceless OTT piece of acting. Can't wait to see him mop up the floor with Sam Worthington in "Avatar".

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:35 p.m. CST

    So Kev Lost His 'Dicks,' Huh?

    by BoggyCreekBeast

    Not from I read on his Twitter posts. Oh, wrong dicks!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Anyone who says that Tracy Morgan should have his fucking brains

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    CUH-LEARLY has not seen the comedy goldmine of seeing him steal a kid's bike.....WHILE WEARING A CELL PHONE OUTFIT! I mean, that's a fuckign PRESENT to me and you. We OWE Tracy Morgan for that. We should all get together and feed him forever for that shit. I'm going to invite him to come live at my house so I can bathe and brush him.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:37 p.m. CST

    His brains SHOT OUT, that was supposed to read.

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    But all those movies you mentioned were terrible.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST

    "A Couple of Mismatched Law Enforcement Professionals"

    by HarryCalder

    See, I think that's way catchier...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Should Of Kept The Title The Same.

    by DutchRudder

    Maybe they should call it "A Couple Of Privates"

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    "A Couple of Dicks (That Are Not Male Genitalia)"

    by HarryCalder

    What about that instead?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Andy Pafko LIVES!

    by JimmyPasta

    Andy is still alive & well. He lives in the same Chicago suburb as I do. He will be flattered when this comes out!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    lockes, HEY NOW!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    <p>I saw, and liked Final Destination for what it was, a laugh-out-loud splatterfest. Pandorum was the shiz-fucking-nit and Inglorious Basterds was terrible? Come now!</p><p>I will agree that 9 definitely missed the mark and word on Jennifer's Body is not good, but both of those films had a lot of buzz and that put asses in seats.</p>

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    re: Post-"Stakeout" Badham

    by beamish13

    What about "Nick of Time"? Maybe the film didn't live up to its incredible trailer, but it's still really fun.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:47 p.m. CST

    But...Kevin Smith can't direct for shit!

    by Stegman84

    I mean you can argue his worth as a writer, and regardless of your opinion of his films, he usually manages to do what he does reasonably well in that regard, but he has never been able to direct for fried shit. I mean the best thing he ever wrote, Dogma, could have been a classic film if anyone with even an inkling of directorial talent had directed it rather than mister point 'n shoot Kevin Smith, but instead we got what we got. A largely frustrating film that could have been so much better with someone actually talented behind the camera. An annoying ode to what could have been, but wasn't. <p>I mean I don't hate Kevin Smith, I have no fanboy vendetta against the guy, but we are talking about someone who directorially has not improved or grown as a film maker one iota since Clerks. A guy who Brett Ratner has more directorial vision than. So why would anyone hire Kevin Smith to direct (and likely suck the life out of) someone elses script? This is a guy who was too scared to direct Green Hornet himself, because he knows he can't shoot action, or anything other than standard point 'n shoot talking heads type work. It makes so little sense I think my head may literally implode.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:47 p.m. CST


    by HebrewLantern

    you realize that miri is short for miriam, right?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:48 p.m. CST

    A Couple of COCK SNIFFERS!

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    Now that's catchier isn't it?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Funny Cops... Funny Cop Film....

    by The Dum Guy

    I wonder what could be more generic?<br><br>Cop Movie...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    NOTE TO JIM CAMERON: Put Worthington in a cellphone outfit

    by SpyGuy

    DANCES WITH SMURFS IN A CELLPHONE OUTFIT has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:53 p.m. CST

    It WAS called 'A Couple of Dicks'

    by CmdX

    But Smith had to change it because the studio couldn't get airtime for commercials on NBC/ABC/CBS (FOX didn't care) until later on in the evening if they kept that title

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith - couldn't make a hit to save his life

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Yet, fans eat his shit up.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith sucks more than A Couple Of Dicks

    by Browncoat_Jedi

    Please, Kevin, go back to writing bad comic books forever.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith is one of the great racontours of this century

    by Quin the Eskimo

    I don't understand how this community can justify the kind of hate they give this man.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:18 p.m. CST

    "Rashida Jones in her lingerie"

    by BackRiverCatfish

    Enough said!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Ferrell & Wahlberg's 2 Cops Movie Will Be Better

    by cowboyone

    Can anyone stomach 2 hours of Tracy Morgan's "acting"?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST


    by TehCreepyThinMan

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST


    by TehCreepyThinMan

    I am forever grateful. I hope he gets Red State made.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST

    No "Dicks"? Argh!! So mad it makes my turds jagged!!

    by Onin Solstice

    What a lame capitulation. If they can't use dicks than come up with another damn title!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:34 p.m. CST

    The new movie cliche--

    by blackmantis

    Spectators with cell phones capture the lead characters doing something nutty and it gets put on the web and taken out of context. I've seen this gag done about a dozen times now.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST


    by Toilet_Terror


  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Rashida Jones for Lois Lane

    by YackBacker

    She's the perfect mix of brains, hotness and humor.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:43 p.m. CST

    suits are scum...

    by billyhitchcock1

    ...a couple of cops makes NO sense! removing the word 'dicks' completely negates the 'couple of'. fuck them up their stupid asses. they are fucking clown shoes.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Has nobody seen 30 Rock?

    by starmand

    Or is it cool to hate on Tracy Morgan now?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:01 p.m. CST

    It sounded appealing...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    until I read the name Tracy Morgan. No, it's not "cool" to hate on him, but it sure makes alot of sense if you're going to. Considering that he sucks.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:03 p.m. CST


    by HaterofCrap

    how does kevin smith get to make movies?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:03 p.m. CST

    They should just call it "A Couple of Penises."

    by tumtwat

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:04 p.m. CST

    "A Couple of...Cocks"

    by tumtwat

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:04 p.m. CST

    No Ken Ober talkback?

    by hst666

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:05 p.m. CST

    For some reason I'm not terribly excited for this movie.

    by tumtwat

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Running Scared

    by djbmike81

    I realize "A Couple of Cops" (horrible title) will be nothing like Running Scared, but I would like nothing more than to see another buddy-cop movie along those lines. I enjoy Kevin Smith's films, so I'll still see it, but it's obvious that this movie will just be Bruce Willis as the Murtaugh-esque character and Morgan as his crazy sidekick, and let the hijinks ensue.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:05 p.m. CST

    The Hard Way is a great great great great film...

    by slappy jones

    "you casanov?" "fucking a" great film

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Was it ever NOT cool to hate on Tracy Morgan?

    by REVENGE_of_FETT

    As long as "cool" means "correct". The man is a human tampon. His schtick amounts to screaming "I'm Brian Fellows!" at the top of his lungs. Now starmand, that might make you lose your shit, but it just makes us wrinkle our foreheads and wonder how in THE FUCK that guy got on TV.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Brian Fellows is a hilarious character

    by Alec.Eiffel

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    to be fair Morgan isn't the only dude who I ask that question about. "How the FUCK did this unfunny ASSHOLE get on tv??" He sure is up there though.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:26 p.m. CST

    the music

    by tumtwat

    I do like the idea of using a bunch of synthesizer music. By the way, this review sucks. Worse grammar than usual on an AICN review. Also, why does this guy continually mention Stifler? The actor has a name, you know...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:33 p.m. CST

    hey hey hey hey heeeey hey heyyyy

    by Basehead

    The hard way rocks! It is bad in every which way and also so awesome in every which way. If you cannot see that you are a bad man, very bad man.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:38 p.m. CST

    The SEQUEL is called "A couple of Cocks"

    by white_vader

    and is about the gutless suits who caved on the first film's title. Appropriately, the title for the sequel isn't as witty as the first movie's (first) title.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:48 p.m. CST

    HST66 RE:Ken Ober

    by SenatorJeffersonSmith

    I made my facebook status about Ober yesterday, and I got 0 feedback. Are we the only people that watched Remote Control?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST


    by Alec.Eiffel

    I think that the reviewer thinks he will come across as cool if he calls Sean William Scott "Stiffler" in a condescending way.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:50 p.m. CST

    "Evidently, it's pretty damn funny"

    by Xiphos_2

    After reading that I had to look for my big grain of salt, the one I swore I'd keep around after Clerks II.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Ken Ober

    by gavdiggity

    I was a big fan of Remote Control, too. Wondered why no mention of him yesterday once his death was confirmed. <P> Also, there are a lot of sad, bitter, humorless, assholes visiting this site.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:05 p.m. CST


    by micturatingbenjamin

    A Couple of Dicks is funny. You either find Smith's flicks funny or you don't. I happen to think Kevin Smith is a fucking hilarious guy, knows timing, and all that.<p>Clerks II was funny, Zack and Miri was fucking hilarious, and I think this flick will be funny too. Almost as funny as Avatar's gonna be.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Beaks, are you serious "Another Stakeout has its moments"...

    by kravmaguffin

    I must of watched a different movie, cause it was mediocre at best. Remove Rosie O. and it's watchable. Yes Stephen Lang rules in the Hard Way! -A Couple of Richards... ijs

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:09 p.m. CST


    by Deathpool

    Thank God, I thought I was insane. Tracy Morgan is gold on 30 Rock. Hell, he's the reason I even want to see this movie.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:12 p.m. CST

    What that hell IS a "cell phone outfit"??

    by TheSeeker7

    Am I the only one who doesn't know? I have no clue why that's supposed to be funny. Maybe upon sight I would, I dunno... And I know that AICN talkbacks can be unfair to Smith at times, but Kevin, please for the love of god tell me you're not keeping that title.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:13 p.m. CST

    A Couple of Plants

    by Stabby

    Well, actually just one.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:20 p.m. CST

    by The_GoatFucker

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:31 p.m. CST


    by Darkman

    Fucking weak. <br><br> I'll still see it, but, still...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:32 p.m. CST

    I Wonder if Edward Kline

    by gavdiggity

    was pressured to change the name of The Bank Dick?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:32 p.m. CST

    "2 Girls, A Couple of Cops"

    by HarryCalder

    I'd see THAT movie...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:33 p.m. CST

    Hope I get to be KS

    by HarryLove

    when I grow up!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:46 p.m. CST

    They should change the Name to A couple of Pussies

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    I crack myself up.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Dogma is poorly directed

    by enderandrew

    It is hard to rewatch now, even though I am a big Kevin Smith fan. The low budget and poorly directed "action" sequences really are painful to watch. That being said, he has grown as a director with each film. He isn't great by any means, but he is certainly passable today.<p>I still think he'd be better off passing off some of his scripts to better directors (like he should have done with Green Hornet) rather than direct someone else's script. He insists he can't write action well, but his comic books, and his Superman script were well enough. I think he could have written a good Green Hornet if he wasn't terrified of having to direct it.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 5:50 p.m. CST

    A couple of Prolapsed Assholes

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6 p.m. CST

    tracey morgan=BOX OFFICE DEATH

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    Thta guy horrible.I cant stand his ass.He is just NOT FUNNY.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:06 p.m. CST

    why would he direct someone else's material?

    by animas

    His "talent" is/was in writing. Smith's directing is non-existent, just point and shoot, so why would anyone pay that fat talentless turd to do what a monkey can do?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:07 p.m. CST

    sorry I should have said

    by animas

    ditto stegman84

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:09 p.m. CST


    by Stabby

    Nice name. I've been looking at that ad for the longest time and thinking to myself who the hell would buy a 12" Rene Belloq action figure?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:10 p.m. CST

    God, I wish I was a copywriter for the ads for this movie

    by Stabby

    You are, Robert!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:27 p.m. CST

    Hate for The Hard Way?

    by DocPazuzu

    WTF? That movie's great.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:32 p.m. CST

    'The Hard Way' was a good movie.

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:34 p.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    never underestimate the power of the fanboy. If they sold Leonard Nimoy's used tissue someone would buy it.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:36 p.m. CST

    I like the new title!


    It's funny without being offensive. What's not to like? Hmmm... I wonder how they'll sneak Jay and Silent Bob into this one!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Willis busts Jay & Silent Bob...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    "Yippie Ki yay, cocksmokers"

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:03 p.m. CST

    Good. There IS some love for the Hard Way.

    by TedKordLives

    'I'll be there...if I'm not still handcuffed to this GODDAMN SOFA!'

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:21 p.m. CST

    OMG, that is SO fanny!

    by Robots In Das Guys

    And pop culture references! I never get tired of that!!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:22 p.m. CST

    What's not to like?...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    Woods, Fox, and delicious Annabella Sciorra.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Someone being a smug prick...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    on AICN. Never get tired of that either.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:39 p.m. CST

    The Hard Way is funny Beaks

    by MacReady452


  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Keep the comics a coming.

    by hallmitchell

    Because I'm really enjoying them.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Thanks Stabby

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    I used to post as mitortilla, but got banned after callin Mr. Beaks a faggot. I like this name better.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith is a WRITER who also directs.

    by SnootyBoots

    For a comic book guy he has no visual flair. Just point and shoot. I get the impression he directs simply to keep other people from screwing up his scripts. Sort of like Preston Sturges, who was a writer who started directing because he was tired of seeing what other directors were doing to his material. Hope he does well with a script not his own.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 8:35 p.m. CST

    what the fuck has happened

    by inkingeekX

    to the k smith we all know and love? Jay and Silent Bob strike back was not funny, clerks 2 was mediocre-he won me back with Zack and Miri-it felt very much like his old he's doing a buddy comedy with Tracy goddamn Morgan?

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 8:57 p.m. CST

    On Kevin Smith's directing

    by starmand

    Visuals are just one part of a director's job on a film. Yes, they are a large part of it, but I think people are forgetting that one of a director's principal jobs (hell, I'd say THE principal job) is to direct the actors. Kevin Smith has fairly consistently, in my eyes, gotten pretty good performances out of actors who maybe aren't so good Look at everyone in Clerks. The performances aren't great, but they're better than a lot of non-actors often are and he's got a knack for comedic timing. As long as he's got a solid DP who can do some of the visual thinking for him, this could be good.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Two Words . . .

    by Dave I

    Chasing Amy. <br />That's my response to people who say Kevin Smith can't make a hit movie. I like his straight-up comedies, but Chasing Amy was a movie that was at times very funny, but had a lot of heart, a great plot, realistic acting and characterization, and an ambiguous ending.<br />I also really liked Clerks I & II, Mallrats, and the much maligned Jersey Girl. Zack & Miri was great too. But I like his stuff best when he wears his heart on his sleeve. Sadly, when he does that he tends to get lambasted. When he goes back to what actually sells he gets criticized for not taking risks (which has resulted, in my opinion, in his best stuff but generally doesn't fare so well as the tit and fart joke stuff, so why wouldn't he?). He might not be Spielberg, Scorsese, or Kubrick, but he's not bad and at his best he's made some very powerful cinematic moments. Most poignant, Ollie finding out about his wife in Jersey Girl, and any number of moments between Holden and Alyssa in Chasing Amy.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 9:21 p.m. CST

    So, this is a small budget movie?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    I can't imagine a studio forking over big budget material to Smith.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 9:26 p.m. CST

    No Limp Bizkit or any new pop crap.

    by NoSmellNoTell

    Really?! This poster wants to make a point about new pop music and uses Limp Bizkit as an example. Now Limp Bizkit is certainly crap but they haven't been around or relevant for since Britney Spears was in a schoolgirl outfit. The reviewer sounds out of the loop using them as a example of pop culture in the new millennium...

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Limp Dickit.

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Kick ass to become Kick Tush

    by Meadowe

    Or some other non offensive title. Not surprised by this at all. Im not shocked, and I were I'd comfor myself with the enterprise disc case that came with Star Trek from Target. Makes me wanna change my initials to jtk. What what!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:24 p.m. CST


    by Loosejerk

    This is from one of his fag followers from He screened the movie for them and then pulled a fingercuffs for someone to leak a good review to the press. Hack director mutha fucker.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Nice Generic title, Warner Bros!

    by milesdyson

    A COUPLE OF DICKS is an attention grabber and would have made people laugh. A COUPLE OF COPS is just boring.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST

    The Baldy McGee Bros.

    by Loosejerk

    I bet Smith filled this piece of shit with music from Weezer's new album. Smith and Cuomo and their balding heads reliving the 80s with shitty synth-pop!

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    a Couple of *gunshots*

    by bottombrick

    Title sucks hard.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Hey, eff off. I loved The Hard Way

    by criticalbliss


  • Nov. 17, 2009, 11:03 p.m. CST

    How does Tracy Morgan get work?

    by criticalbliss

    Seriously, is there a less funny individual alive? It's painful even watching the idiot.

  • Nov. 17, 2009, 11:27 p.m. CST

    More Love For The Hard Way

    by Cinemanimetal

    The Party Crasher is a classic villain! Also the scene between James Woods and Michael J. Fox when they are pretending to be on a date is one of the most hilarious scenes ever! Also you have to love the disgusting hot dogs James Woods eats in the movie! It's up there with the disgusting twinkie concoction in UHF!

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 12:08 a.m. CST

    A Couple of PUssy Fart Clit Dick Jokes

    by hatespeech

    walk into a bar and shit out Kevin Smith.. Oh the hilarity ensues!

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 12:41 a.m. CST

    The Kevin Smith that directed Clerks was a shitty director

    by Quin the Eskimo

    the guy that directed Zach and Mirii is not that guy. If you can't see that growth then you all aren't paying attention.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 2:12 a.m. CST

    looking forward to this

    by So What?

    I like Smith's films. I also like The Hard Way a lot as well.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 2:21 a.m. CST

    rashida in lingerie

    by Waka_Flocka_Flame

    yesssssssss. the bruce as well!

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 3:39 a.m. CST

    The Hard Way is a classic!

    by masteryoda007

    Beaks your credibility has plummeted once more.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 3:57 a.m. CST

    Quin, i wouldn't say

    by inkingeekX

    that kevin smith has had consistent growth...more like a roller coaster ride. Jay and Bob Strike back-shit, clerks 2-better shit,jersey girl-shit, except for carlin which made that film better than the last two I mentioned. Zach and Miri was definately a redeemer for him, but now he does this? Normally I'll give anything a shot, but two actors that I cannot watch are Tracey "I always LOOK mildly retarded" Morgan and Jimmy "I alaways ACT mildly retarded" Fallon...can't do it

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Rashida Jones is not in this movie...

    by tlyel37

    I think the reviewer is talking about Ana de la Reguera.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 4:35 a.m. CST

    Oh and they don't even look alike.

    by tlyel37

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 4:36 a.m. CST

    Oh and they don't even look alike.

    by tlyel37

    I'm a KS fan but this reviewer sounds like a fucking idiot.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 4:48 a.m. CST

    wow, talkback complainers are hilarious when they

    by only1

    are in cell phone outfits. Actually, I imagined all the complaining in Tracey Morgan's voice it was fan-fucking-tastic. Some funny shit. Just remember, a show Morgan is on has won the Emmy for best comedy... and you haven't. As for Smith... he has grown, but only once. Before he became a father, he was acerbic, witty, every discontented Gen-Xer slacker funny man. Since then every movie TRIES to be as funny but every movie has a love/family/meaningful message. That's where he is in life and that's cool. Clerks 2 may have been the funniest movie of the 2000's IMO and if you can't see the funny have someone slap you upside the head and get your laugh factory out of retard mode

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 5:32 a.m. CST

    Title not set in stone. They just know it won't

    by V'Shael

    be called "A Couple of Dicks". And that's the fault of the TV Networks, who are so shit-scared of offending right-wing god-fearing religious minorities. Those odious jesus freaks need to shut the fuck up, and the networks need to man the fuck up. <p> Honestly, ever since Janets underboob hit the screens, a tiny minority of religious freaks collectively shit their pants and that STINK has made America a shittier place to live.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 7:23 a.m. CST


    by gwarwilleatyou

    I don't see how a show someone is on winning an Emmy is a qualifying statement for... anything. Aren't Emmy's just golden dipped turds anyway? I've always felt Smith has been hit or miss so we'll see.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Looking so forward to this

    by pumaman

    Sounds great :-)

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Tracy Morgan's funny

    by slone13

    Deal with it, morons.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Is everyone missing the obvious: A Couple of Pigs

    by Stabby

    Hey, Kevin, there you go. You can have that title for free. I wouldn't even accept free tickets to this POS.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Instead of directing what others write Kevin Smith

    by Stabby

    really should be looking for someone to direct his screenplays. I think he is a good writer, but he really sucks at directing. Tommy Wiseau is a better director than he is. I think Smith would even admit this.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 9:39 a.m. CST

    buddy cop movies, not necessary anymore

    by filmcoyote

    after Hot Fuzz - which i watched again last night as part of my Edward Woodward tribute season - i don't need anymore buddy cop films that one was gold.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 9:43 a.m. CST


    by criticalbliss

    Tracy Morgan is funny? Then I suppose you think Jimmy Fallon is a comedic genius. <p> Idiot.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Not Another Buddy Cop Movie

    by Ronald Raygun

    National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 2

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by Steve Rogers

    James Woods RULES in that movie!

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:39 a.m. CST

    When you're not Home your Girlfriend takes

    by cymbalta4thedevil

    a Couple of Dicks the Hard Way...

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Smart Move

    by goatboyal

    Changing the title was the only thing he could do. He was burned bad with Z and M make a porno (which should have made a hell of a lot more). The right decision to change it.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:42 a.m. CST

    James Woods rules in The Hard Way...

    by Stegman84

    ...and Michael J. Fox had a hell of a fun time sending himself up, and together they had a great odd couple chemistry. It wasn't quite a Midnight Run or 48 HRS type classic, but it was still a quality, fun film, the kind that we just don't see made these days. I have fond memories anyway. Too bad (and quite strange) that Nick of Time basically seemed to have killed his career, after that he flirted with dtv before turning into a life of episodic tv directing...

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Damn straight. James Woods kills

    by criticalbliss

    Again. I love The Hard Way. It doesn't get proper credit.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    John Badham's career, that is.

    by Stegman84

    Or, as I like to call him, Brett Ratner, but with talent.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by BackRiverCatfish

    for not knowing who Rashida Jones is! I'll probably wait for it on video now.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST

    smith and morgan: a couple of hacks.

    by Stalkeye

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Rashida=best thing quincy ever created

    by Meadowe

    When white girls go to the dark side, a kid like rashida is what they hope for, but for most of them all they get is a kid that hates them for being a white woman.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    How does Kevin Smith still get work?

    by jaysin420

    the last good movie he made was chasing amy.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Insulting Title Change

    by UtopiaComplex

    Seriously? We can't handle the word Dicks in a movie about a couple of private dicks? Worst title sanitizing I can recall.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 4:07 p.m. CST

    2 Cops and a Cup

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

    I can't believe the AICN talkbackers haven't gone retarded crazy trying to rename this film.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Bruce Willis can barely open a movie anymore

    by skimn

    ..Surrogates, anyone? And Tracy Morgan has DTV/Jimmy Fallon "Taxi" smell written all over it. This should do big business January 23, 2011...

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 7:22 p.m. CST

    shit is wack!!

    by Oprah_Duke

    But I will see it...<P> On BOOTLEG!!!

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Pafko was a pretty good player actually.

    by Sal_Bando

    Your basic Bobby Murcer/Jason Bay(w/ a glove) type guy, Cubs and Dodgers from the forties and fifties. He was the guy who was against the LF Wall looking up when Bobby Thompson's 'Shot heard around the world' beat the Dodgers and won the Pennant in '51 for the Giants. Donno WHY a card for him would be worth more than say a Vern Stephens or Gil MacDougald or Carl Furillo card--but okay. It's a plotski device, don't carp. <p> The flick itself sounds like it might be kinda fun.

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 10:50 p.m. CST


    by ZombiManos

    kevin smith : two thumbs up... but i enjoyed jersery girl, so what do i know, right?

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 11:10 p.m. CST

    A Couple of Balls

    by Rene_Belloq_12inch_Figure

  • Nov. 18, 2009, 11:10 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:51 a.m. CST

    The hard way was a good movie.

    by hst666

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Glad to see I was not the only remote control fan here.

    by hst666

  • Nov. 19, 2009, 3:28 p.m. CST

    a couple of hilarious cellphone suits

    by maitlanr

    i'm wearing one right now.