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Mysterio Takes A Look at the Script for Adam Sandler's New Line Project LITTLE NICKY
Hey folks, Harry here with the ol dome-boy himself with them groovy cufflinks and awesome eye broaches... That's right, it's Mysterio. Hero to fired Special Effects mavens around the world, and a major Anti-CGI/pro-practical effects work pirate. Here he takes a look at Adam Sandler's latest project to come from the world of New Line and while Mysterio isn't a big fan of it.... to me... it certainly sounds more fun than WATERBOY or BIG DADDY. I haven't seen the script, so I'll hold off judgement. He doesn't tell us what happens at the end, but he goes into what happens in the film. So if you wish to avoid that because of your passion for Sandler films... Move along, otherwise let this evil bastard do his work...
Greetings Harry, let me take a moment to properly introduce myself. I've often watched and observed your site growing to potential over the past few years and have occasionally popped up under different aliases, but felt the time has come to properly materialize myself. For I am MYSTERIO (any who calls me bubblehead or goldfish bowl will ultimately face my wrath, as I am everywhere: in your thoughts, your dreams, your nightmares, your fantasies… your reality).
So with that, I have spoken, and feel the time is now to make my presence better known. I know some of you may have thought that I recently met an untimely demise at the hands of one of my "lesser" foes, DAREDEVIL (in recent issue #7).
But let me quickly dispel that book as an excellent piece of fiction, written by fan-boy and indie filmmaker extraordinarie, Kevin Smith. Kudos to you Mr. Smith, and thank you for remembering me. With the world having thought I had perished, it's given me the chance to rise like a phoenix from the ashes, and unleash my own brand of evil upon an unsuspecting world who thought briefly they need not fear me anymore. Fear me you will, for fear me now...
I now mark my "first" official review, of a script ripped out from a dead studio executive's clutched hand (you see, his studio had fired me off their last picture because they claimed my effects work was too "Harryhausen" for them, so to speak).
So without further adieu, I give you the script review for…
LITTLE NICKY.
I figure, this would be an interesting script as Adam Sandler stars as LITTLE NICKY, the youngest of three sons to the DEVIL incarnate himself. A son who embodies all that is evil, but wait, this is Adam Sandler were talking about, so he can't be all that bad can he?
Of course not. That is left to his two elder brothers, CASSIUS & ADRIAN. You see, the time has come in hell, when the devil, affectionately known as "DAD", has declared that his rule of hell for the past 10,000 years is up. Now it's time to pass the torch onto one of his sons, just as his father, their grandfather, LUCIFER had done the previous 10,000 years. But DAD's final decision is an unwelcomed one by CASSIUS & ADRIAN, as dad has declared that he feels that neither of his sons are ready to rule, so he will rule Hell again for an additional 10,000 years.
This outrages CASSIUS & ADRIAN, but relieves NICKY of such a responsibility. Angered and filled with evil, CASSIUS & ADRIAN decide to forcefully take hell from their father and rule it themselves.
In hell, there is an underwater river that flows ever constantly with souls of the damned. Without fresh souls, Dad (the Devil) will start to deteriorate and eventually die. Adding to that, if the river were to stop, then the damned souls coming into hell would back up like a sewage pipe and spew back out onto earth.
CASSIUS & ADRIAN both decide to journey up to earth, and breaking the river's flow, to rule it as the "new hell", to where they choose, what else, but New York as their capital.
As Dad is made known that his two eldest sons have become renegade demons, he begins to quickly lose any strength to leave hell and bring the two back down. So he sends NICKY to bring the two back down, causing the river to flow again, and thus saving his life. Nicky must bring the two back at the same time, through a waterfall to restore order. He is given a flask that if they drink from it, will capture them like a genie in a genie in a bottle, to carry them both through.
Armed with the flask, Nicky is sent through to find and pursue his brothers. Upon entering New York through a portal of sorts, he is met by a talking dog in Grand Central Station, named BEEFY who the devil has sent to aid NICKY in his new found world, and pursuit.
From there, it's a bit fish out of water for LITTLE NICKY as he comes to learn what the world and people have to offer. He particularly takes a liking to POPEYE'S CHICKEN, and along the way (of course) falls in love, and soon begins to realize he's only "half-evil".
Now if this story concept sounds recently familiar, it is at least for it's first half. The tone and set up, had Kevin Smith's recently touted DOGMA coming to mind (and even has two heavy metal stoner characters, named JOHN & PETER, aiding Nicky's quest in it).
So there the story isn't as original or clever as it could (or should be), it eventually spools itself into typical Sandler fluff fare, where you can't help but liking the character of NICKY. Which is part of the problem here. He's supposed to be the son of the devil, and evil and all, but you never get that sense from Nicky… ever. It tries at points in the story to show his "evil", red glowing eyes and such, but never really succeeds. Thus losing any character change or development throughout the script, except that he mainly learns to know what "love" is. "Whoopdide-dooooo!" What a stretch. We've seen it all before.
It amazes me to see why something like THE WATERBOY was a huge theatrical hit, but since video, everybody that I know says it's terrible. I can't imagine these same people seeing THE WATERBOY in theaters, aren't the same ones renting it when it comes out on video. So who are these people, I wonder?
I suppose for what it is and who it's written for, it's not surprising to see this be another notch in the Adam ("I'm a $$$ making machine") Sandler's filmography. But ya know what, it's gonna get old sooner or later, and now when your at the top of your game, why not take some chances, and PLAY A CHARACTER, rather than yourself under a different name. Same wacky schick, just a different character name and movie title. As it stands, NICKY is pretty much a one-note character, and the story suffers because of it. By the end I'm rooting for the two evil brothers because they just seem to be having the most fun with their evil powers, unlike myself who was just mainly bored throughout most of the 96 pages, with only an occasionally amusing chuckle here and there.
Now it's time to have some evil fun of my own and decide what havoc I should seek to wreak out next…
Technical information:
LITTLE NICKY
STUDIO: New Line
Writers: Tim Herlihy & Adam Sandler
Revisions by: Steven Brill
Additional Revisions by: Tim Herlihy & Adam Sandler
Draft date: Revision 4-August 23, 1999
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Funny, this is reminding me eerily of The Mario Brother's movie: A special effects extravaganza with...well, here is where they differ. Mario Bros. had an innately silly subject that they played seriously and had a lot of throwaway shots. Nicky takes an innately serious subject and plays it with schtick, and if I know Sandler's writing style, there will be NO throwaway shots, every point will be hamboned into our brains. But the styles have the same result: a movie that will be indelibly burned into our collective psyches as ONE OF THE WORST FILMS WE WILL EVER SEE.
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Does anybody else feel that Sandler is better then this...?? I mean after all he does have some talent (minus the Waterboy)...but then again he did take a hand in writing this, so if it does suck he only has him self to blame.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a thousand times no. NO. No way! (I hope I'm clear on that point.)
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Uh... Yeah. Brilliant idea for a film. Maybe, just maybe, they can fix it up a little so Nicky talks in a high-pitched lisp, and then yells really loud at old people. For christ's sake, where are the snipers when you need them the most so scripts like this never even get finished? (Here's the actual transcript of the pitch meeting: Studio Head - "I'm hungry. Let's put Popeye's Chicken into a film, and maybe I'll get a free snak pak outta it. Who's available?"
Studio Toadie - "We have Adan Sandler under contract."
Studio Head - "Can somebody get me a treatment within an hour?" his stomach begins to rumble...)
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I don't entirely like joining in on a simple string of criticism, but DeVore was right. I'm getting rather tired of these tremendously clever scoopers. These people have about two minutes of attention for themselves by sending a story to Harry, and, as such, try to make themselves "stand out" by doing the same damn thing everybody else does. And, regarding "Mysterio" himself? Kid, had you ever heard of the character before Kevin Smith hopped aboard "Daredevil?" What a little poser. I can't speak for anybody else, but I grow weary of the anonymity of the internet, when used in such a fashion. On a lighter note, I'll admit to finding "The Waterboy" somewhat amusing (although I haven't seen it since its theatrical run) so I'll disagree with the general Talk Back sentiment and say that "Little Nicky" could end up being a similarly funny, if disposable, comedy. At least it sounds like there's a bit of a story behind it, which is a step up from most of the other flicks of SNL alumni.
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Wait. All of you are wrong. Adam is moving on to heavier material. This is an AUTOBIOGRAPHY!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! He's the son of the devil, see? Ha ha ha ha! -
Ha Ha, Big Daddy, Little Nicky....Adam Sandler is ripping himself off!!
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I gotta go triple ditto on the "scoopers" around here.---On a Sandler note, I think he needs to do this film so we can have some throwaway laughs at some throwaway lines, then he needs to lay his eyes (or his pen) on a script that poses a challenge. These films are great for a reality breather, but in the long run, do you really want to be remembered for your portrayal of a drunk, stoned, loser who suddenly shapes up and gets the girl though we have no idea why? I saw a flash of a great actor in "Happy Gilmore" and again in "The Wedding Singer"...how 'bout you let him shine?
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Adam Sandler isn't an actor. Don't confuse a good movie with good acting. He's basically a silly guy, and he sure as hell better pump out these friday night movies for the wrestling fans and ICP crowd before everyone gets tired of him. There's no high art movie coming, he simply doesn't have the talent. That being said, this movie doesn't sound so bad, sort of Ghostbusters-ish take on the whole Roman Catholic devils and ghosties thing.
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There's little I enjoy more than well constructed sarcasm. Thanks.
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Maybe I am going to get hell (ha ha get it??!?!?! - okay never mind) for this but I really like Adam. He's freaking hilarious. I don't want or expect art from him. God damn it people!!! I don't always want some piece of art or highbrow or even tasteful humour. After I finish my exams I want something where I can just sit back and relax and laugh for a while. Don't get all artsy-fartsy.
The guy who said "Adam is a fag" is a moron but I laughed really really hard at what DeVore wrote. Esp ASS HAIR ON THREE TOED SLOTH.
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