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Quint's Day With Dolph!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. When I got the call from local super publicist Brandy Fons inquiring about this rather unique opportunity how could I say no? Dolph Lundgren was to tour Texas’ Fort Hood, observe a change of command ceremony as Lt. Gen. Rick Lynch hands over his position to Lt. Gen. Robert Cone and meet the troops, signing copies of his new DTV flick COMMAND PERFORMANCE where he plays a rock and roll drummer that stops terrorists from kidnapping the Russian Premier. The offer was to tag along and get to be one of Dolph’s entourage, documenting the day with my trusty Nikon D80. How could I turn that down? I’m a night owl… hell, I’m writing this when everyone else in the world is asleep… but the Army doesn’t run based on a vampire’s schedule like I do, so I ended up just staying up to catch my ride to Ft. Hood. Running off of 5 Hour Energy drinks and adrenaline fueled by fear that once inside Ft. Hood alarms would sound because a fat, agnostic, left-leaning movie nerd had infiltrated their ranks I began my adventure. It was a cold, rainy day. The rain unfortunately moved the Change of Command ceremony inside a gym instead of out on the parade field. The poor weather canceled an airshow… jets were supposed to fly overhead in celebration of their new commander. The weather was a bastard because it also fucked me out of getting to join Mr. Lundgren on a Black Hawk ride, which was in the cards until everything was grounded. I can safely assume that’ll be the only chance I’ll see the inside of a Black Hawk Helicopter. On top of all that we couldn’t find our way around the base, which is ginormous. By the time we finally got to the right building the ceremony had started. The band was playing patriotic music and the flag guard was doing its thing, so I waited behind a guy that was built to be a soldier… easily 6’ 3”… He was saluting as the band played.

Though late, Brandy and I didn’t miss the actual Changing of Command, which was represented by the old General, moving on up to DC, passing a flag to the new General in command of Ft. Hood.

Using super agility I made my way around the inner wall of the gym as Lt. General Lynch was being introduced to make his farewell speech. There were seats in the risers, so we sat with these young kids in uniform, most of whom were probably a good 8-10 years younger than I am… and I haven’t even hit 30 yet. Brandy pointed out Dolph sitting floor-level.

Not too hard to spot amongst those suits, eh? Lt. General Lynch started his speech, filled with as much rah-rah Army as you’d expect, but not without emotion. Apparently his successor is a good friend who has followed his career, taking each job he’s left due to promotion, for a good 4 or 5 positions now.

I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the religious fervor, his speech feeling more like a sermon. Being the pinko commie (or whatever they call liberal these days) I am, I can’t help but get a puckered butthole when I hear a General sermonizing about being part of God’s army and doing God’s work. But it was his party after all… the dude can say what he likes. Then Lt. Gen. Cone spoke, a bit less fervent, mostly in praise of the soldiers, his commanders and his wife.

The flags were marched out in military fashion as the National Anthem played, all the soldiers around me standing and saluting. I did what every American or baseball fan would, stood and put my hand over my heart. I think that was the right thing to do under the circumstances, right? Or did I rudely violate my country’s honor somehow? After the ceremony was over, I was introduced to Dolph who is everything you’d expect in person. Super tall, super fit, super tanned, super Dolph. And he’s also very easy going and nice. As we left the auditorium I snapped this picture:

After a coffee (and some pictures with the lady who runs the shop) we visited our first stop:

This Museum on the base chronicles American combat from the Revolution through to the War On Terror. Upon entering the young lady at the desk kind of freaked out, recognizing Dolph right away.

We started looking around, starting with the earliest stuff, the history of the 1st Cavalry division.

It wasn’t long before the guy in charge, a Mr. Robbie Reinstein… sorry, I didn’t get his rank, obviously informed of his famous guest came out to lead us all in a tour.

Here are some pictures as we wind our way up through WW2, Korea, Vietnam, The Gulf War and the War on Terror.









Many Apocalypse Now references were made after seeing those hats in the Vietnam section. Just as many MASH jokes were made after seeing this:

There were many displays using real used war equipment and uniforms like this one:

Authentic, down to the Playboy! The end was the modern War on Terror exhibit.

Next we headed outside to see the decommissioned tanks from not only our country, but countries all over the world.



After the tour we all piled into a van and headed to the other side of the base to try out some simulators. This was my view for most of the time spent in the van.

Dolph was very open about his work while we drove around. Seeing how open he was, I asked if I could throw out an impromptu Q&A for my Twitter followers. He said sure and within 10 minutes a few good ones. See that’s why you should follow me, cool shit like this! He was asked if he saw the new Punisher movies and which Frank Castle would win in a fight, Thomas Jane’s, Ray Stevenson’s or his. Dolph had seen Jane’s Punisher, but not Stevenson’s, and hand to hand he would win no contest, but that from what he hears about the new one there are a lot more toys and that they both might have better hardware than he had. Another question came in about Masters of the Universe, asking what he remembers the most about making that movie. He said the loincloth and laughed. When we got to our destination there were a good dozen young soldiers sitting around outside, eating pizza out of delivery boxes and bullshitting with each other. One guy in the group noticed Dolph and stood right up and said, “Yo! Yo! Yo! Oh my God! I can’t believe it!” His friends didn’t get it and he was like, “Rocky, man! The dude was in Rocky!!!” Dolph stopped and talked with him and was mobbed, shaking hands and taking photos with most of them.

Inside the building Dolph was met and shown to these bulky, scary machines.

Each one of those boxes are full scale tank simulators. I can vouch for that because my fat ass could barely squeeze into one. Dolph didn’t have the same problem. Here’s a look inside:



I didn’t have the heart to fail miserably trying to get into the extension, which actually has a rolling chair, the person inside laying down and driving the tank. There’s room for three max in the tank (or two me’s) and this fourth laying down so there’s room.

My favorite part of the trip happened next as we stepped into a 360 degree humvee simulator. It’s a giant, fully immersive video game that allows a squad to train together using real weapons and humvee, but without the cost of running full drills in the field.

Dolph took the huge fucking gun mounted on the Hummer, of course, and I was given a big Rambo style gun… sorry I don’t know my weapons better, but all I can tell you is it was a huge, heavy gun that I wasn’t prepared to be holding. It looked like the gun Rambo shoots up the office with at the end of First Blood Part 2. Each weapon had a cord that fed information to a computer that keeps track of shots fired, accuracy, etc. And yes, each gun was real, just not filled with any ammo. They worked like the real thing because they were the real thing. The computer (I assume) told my gun when it was out of ammo and the recoil would stop, no shots registered. I’d have to reload it, complete with all the clacking and sliding that goes along with doing so, before it’d work again. My puny arms couldn’t handle too much of this, so I opted for the AK-47 instead. Much better. Dolph’s training buddy took driving duties and controlled where we went on the screens all around us, set up to be a standard drive from secure zone to secure zone in Iraq, complete with insurgent attacks and IEDs on the side of the road. I played along at first, but it was more fun watching Dolph work the mounted 50 cal (see, I know a little), plus I wanted some pictures. Here what it looked like when the simulator was running.

At one point Dolph pointed his 50 cal at me and said, “Hey, look! A journalist!” I can tell you it’s not all that comfortable being at the pointing end of a giant-ass gun like that, especially with Dolph Lundgren at the trigger. Following the Hummer simulator (there can’t be all that many paragraphs that start out like that, can there?) we ate some Turkey wraps and bullshitted about his movie. Dolph spoke a lot about the pressures of directing and how when he’s directing a film as well as starring in it, like Command Performance, he has to put more of his energy into directing, maybe sometimes even neglecting the acting because directing’s a bigger job. Dolph said that as an actor he prefers being directed by others and not directing himself because when being directed by someone like Sly he’s challenged, pulled away from his comfort zone. He cited by Stallone and John Woo as being directors that pull the best stuff out of him. From there we only had one more stop before I headed home. Dolph was scheduled to do a signing for the troops and there was a ton of people that showed up.

I spent about 10 minutes watching Dolph interact with his fans, obviously grateful for their support, before I left. This was one of the last images I shot.

After saying my good-byes I was on the road home. This kind of thing doesn’t happen often, an Almost Famous-ish tag-along and I’d love the opportunity to do something like this again. You really get a sense of a person. There were moments I saw Dolph conscious of his image and putting on a front, like seeing I had the camera up and waiting for me to take a shot, almost posing instead of just going along, but I don’t think I used any of those shots at all. It’s far more interesting to catch him relaxed, just acting naturally. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed my day with Dolph. His flick just hit DVD and Blu-Ray. I don’t know what Vern thought of it, but I’m sure it’s right up his alley! In fact, I got something for good ol’ Vern… watch the mail, dude! Thanks for following along with this little adventure! -Quint quint@aintitcool.com Follow Me On Twitter



Readers Talkback
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  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:50 a.m. CST

    Excellent

    by LegendaryPinkDot

    Dolph is the man!!.... Hope to see him used far more often!! Maybe the Villain in Edgar Wright's final Trilogy film!!...That would rule

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:53 a.m. CST

    More features like this please.

    by Shan

    See above.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:54 a.m. CST

    Oh, the sweet irony...

    by Stegman84

    ...of the U.S. Military fawning over the guy who played Ivan Drago, the Red Scorpion, and a few other Russian and Eastern State characters over the years. Still, Lundren always seems like a pretty cool and down to earth kinda guy, and it'll be fun seeing him on the big screen again next year with The Expendables.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:54 a.m. CST

    Cool stuff, but I'd hoped for more Expendables info...

    by JuanSanchez

    I guess Dolph and the whole cast has plenty of time to sell that one, though.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:56 a.m. CST

    Juan

    by Quint

    I did a phone interview with him for Direct Contact where he talks a lot about his character in The Expendables, including some pretty spoilery plot twists. <BR><BR>Here - http://tinyurl.com/rxytb8

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:56 a.m. CST

    Anyone else see him on Conan last night?

    by JuanSanchez

    Waaay too short an appearance, but still cool to see him: http://tinyurl.com/yk8vcqz ---- I was shocked that Conan's taller.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:57 a.m. CST

    That's right - I recall that one now, Quint.

    by JuanSanchez

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:04 a.m. CST

    Dolph in He-man sequal

    by Movie_Grinder

    Dolph rocks! They sould totally let him play He-Man again, albeit a little older and wiser but still able to kick some serious ass!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:08 a.m. CST

    In celebration of The Mighty Lundgren...

    by Stegman84

    What's your fave Lundgren film(s), action fans? <p>I expect many to cite Universal Soldier and Showdown in Little Tokyo, and a few nostalgic Masters of The Universe, and probably a whole heap of Rocky IV's, and maybe the odd Red Scorpion and The Punisher too, but I've got to put a vote in for Men of War. That and Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace) are probably by faves as far as his b-action back catalogue goes.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:25 a.m. CST

    The reverence

    by Ad_Wizard_Who_Came_Up_With_This_One

    you americans have for your hired killers never ceases to amaze me.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:28 a.m. CST

    I must break you !

    by Grooveraider

    If he dies...he dies...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Dolph is in better shape than those soldiers

    by Chakraborty

    Seriously, look at those soldiers having their picture taken with Dolph....I'm guessing pizza is their regular diet.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Dolph is a mix between Arnold and Klaus Kinski

    by ricarleite2

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7 a.m. CST

    Quint

    by TheNorthlander

    You should have asked him why on earth he's not playing Thor.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:04 a.m. CST

    I love how

    by brobdingnag

    now that Dear Leader is running the show this site has changed its view of the troops being murdering baby rapers to praiseworthy.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Dolph looks like a man among boys...at Fort fucking Hood.

    by FlickaPoo

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:29 a.m. CST

    OLEG!!!!!!

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Damn, I can't believe I beat my brothers to this. Dolph is so hardcore his picture scares burglars away. True story.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:33 a.m. CST

    I'd love to here more on the speech....

    by Righteous Brother

    that the army guy did, 'gods work' pah!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Dolph is 50 years old and can still crush

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    guys half his age with his bare hands. He's still chiseled, and lest anyone forget he's got a brain in his head. He has an engineering degree.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:43 a.m. CST

    I don't know...

    by wampa 1

    ...but it sure smells good!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Dolph for BUNSEN BURNER MAN.

    by FlickaPoo

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:45 a.m. CST

    So many great Dolph movies...

    by Blanket-Man

    Rocky IV, The Punisher, Masters of the Universe... oh, wait. His next good movie will be his first.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:48 a.m. CST

    A Rock and Roll Drummer?

    by Crow3711

    Who saves the Premiere of Russia? That sounds like the fucking tits man. Awesome movie, awesome article, Dolph for life.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:50 a.m. CST

    a day with Oleg is my Christmas wish

    by Spandau Belly

    may it be granted!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Did you get any pics of Dolph...

    by Speed Fricassee

    ... having one of those episodes where he rocks back and forth violently while sitting down, because his brain synapses are over-firing as a result of too many drugs taken over the years? I have to admit I almost felt sorry for the him after seeing that once, but then I reminded myself: "Loser did too many drugs. Not my problem."

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Aint it Cool?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Yes, yes this is. Nice article. Dolph rocks. Looking forward to seeing Expendables--nice for Dolph to get some mass exposure again.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Seems odd to have a uniform work the desk at the museum.

    by Royston Lodge

    At the military museums I've ever visited (up here in the Great White North), the ticket counters and tour guides are all civilians, usually volunteers.<p> Kinda seems like a waste of manpower to have a uniform selling tickets and souvenirs.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Royston

    by bigbaldpapa

    She may be on light duty recovering from an injury or what not. There are many reasons why uniformed personnel would be there. If you ask me, having someone who is making a living wearing that uniform is perfect to be working at a museum that chronicles the history of the people that have worn it.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Royston & Brob

    by Quint

    Not sure if the Museums up north that you're referring to are actually on bases or not, but my understanding is this exhibit is specific to the regiments training at Ft. Hood and are for the soldiers.<BR><BR>Brob, find me one article I've ever posted where I've said anything negative about the troops. You can dislike the President, disagree with a war, but that doesn't mean you hate the soldiers fighting. Not everything's as clear cut as you want it to be it seems.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:17 a.m. CST

    "He is not human, he is a piece of iron."

    by Myopiniondontmeanshit

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Quint

    by Ad_Wizard_Who_Came_Up_With_This_One

    It seems to be pretty clear cut for you. Murdering for a living is pretty much the most respectable occupation is your opinion apparently.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:28 a.m. CST

    But i don't blame ya

    by Ad_Wizard_Who_Came_Up_With_This_One

    It's the majority opinion in your country.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:34 a.m. CST

    murdering for a living is retarded

    by Bouncy X

    you do it for free because you want to and its fun, especially those that deserve it.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:37 a.m. CST

    “Hey, look! A journalist!”

    by The_Crimson_King

    bwahahahahaha! I'd be shitting my pants if that happened to me

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Dolph is awesome

    by Gungan Slayer

    Hopefully he'll start getting some better roles after The Expendables. Nice article Quint, thanks for sharing.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:45 a.m. CST

    One look at Quint...

    by Rocco Curioso

    and those army personnel must have thought Dolph had a new job with the Make A Wish Foundation:<P>"Yeah, I thought he was great in Rocky IV... too bad about the little retarded boy".

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:47 a.m. CST

    OLEG!

    by travis-dane

    Cool story. Dolph rules!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    No troop praise

    by Affleckwasthebomb

    I've only read the article once but I'm pretty sure there is no praise for the troops. This was an article about Dolph not war or soldiers. That ad wizard dude just sounded stupid. Pick your battles better. You just sound ignorant. FYI, I'm in the UK and have no real views on american troops.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST

    SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO

    by Meadowe

    Haven't seen this in a while, this article makes we want to see it again. I know it's not exactly the best of dolph or Brandon Lee's films, but the nostalgia factor (or potential factor as far as Brandon is concerned) is enough for me to cop it @ a Reasonable price.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 10:21 a.m. CST

    any news un UNIVERSAL SOLDIER

    by Meadowe

    I saw a pic of JCVD and Dolph together onset, I'd want to rent it just to see Dolph's "clone" kick JCVD's butt in the 2nd (?) decade of the 21st century

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Good stuff Quint

    by masteryoda007

    Most fun article I have read for a good while. The journalist line was great. Dolph seems like a cool dude.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Dolph's looking pretty damn good

    by skimn

    Look at that one shot, and he looks like he be the burlier, kick-ass brother to Denis Leary.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Cool feature

    by Forsakyn

    Definitely liked reading it - I'm a fan of good ol' Dolph. He looks like he's in fantastic shape.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I'm jealous

    by Just_Some_Guy

    Dolph Lundgren is one of the few people in the world that would cause me to be star-stuck if I met them. Very cool...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:32 a.m. CST

    What an odd day!

    by Gilderoy

    Too bad you didn't make it up in a Black Hawk.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Ain't It Cool? You bet your ass it is

    by Star Hump

    An excellent feature, Quint. Dolph is one cool cat.<p> What's up the Army these days? From the top down it's turned into an evangelical combat organization. If you're in the Middle East you'd better get right with Jesus or get ready for pain. Soldiers for Christ. Fucking sick shit. The Founding Fathers would vomit.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Awesome

    by Jotham

    He's one of those guys that has done a ton of stuff. Didn't he train an olympic team from where ever he's from? He's physically imposing, really freaking smart, and does a ton of shit. Dude is awesome.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Dolph is the best

    by pomofo

    Dolph seems like he would be the type to get out of his limo to help you change your flat tire. I saw him in a martial arts expo years ago, he is badass. He deserves to be famous

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:04 p.m. CST

    THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE PART OF THE "AICN LEGENDS" SERIES

    by Mullah Omar

    I have always liked the guy's films because he always seems to be giving it his best shot and he virtually usually seems to be enjoying himself. <br> <br> Years after I had already been a huge fan of Dolph, I discovered that a hardass friend of mine had been a friend of Dolph's back during his London years when he was a bodyguard, dating Grace Jones, etc. I asked what kind of guy Dolph was, and this guy - who often has very little nice to say about anyone - said that Dolph was just one of the nicest and most decent guys he ever met, and that Dolph still checked up on him at least once per year to trade stories and see how he was doing. Among many other things, this friend of mine also said that Grace Jones was a huge diva bitch and that he never figured out what the hell Dolph was doing with her, so maybe that would be a good question if any of the AICN guys get another chance to interview Dolph.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Awesome featurette

    by bazookajoe

    Really nice to see some love for Dolph! I hope he gets another big break in the biz so we can see him on the big screen.. He just looks more badass with age, like a fine aged wine. Kinda like Eastwood, actually.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:11 p.m. CST

    damn

    by torpedoboy

    that dude is as cool and as fit as he was back in the Drago days!!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    DOLPH !!!!

    by ominus

    great post,thanx Quint

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    GREAT article, Quint! Bringing the cool to AICN!

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    I'd like to MUCH, MUCH more stuff like this on AICN. I know these opportunities don't pop up everyday, but Quint took this one and ran with it. I feel like I was there. Great photos. Damn, Quint, you are in serious danger of becoming a journalist! I really want to see "Command Peformance" but neither WalMart or Target bothered to stock it, and even Wild & Woolly Video failed to pick up a rental copy (They are seriously slacking since I've been gone!).

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Wait a minute...

    by Hudson Cock

    which John Woo movie was he in?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Hudson

    by Vern

    his John Woo movie is BLACKJACK, an awesomely ridiculous made for cable movie where he plays a bodyguard to a supermodel who's being stalked and he's afraid of the color white (long story). It's honestly one of my favorite Dolph roles because he's very charismatic and he gets to do crazy things like fire a gun while bouncing on a trampoline. There's also a scene where he's temporarily blinded and he walks around with a little girl on his back telling him which direction to shoot.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:09 p.m. CST

    I didn't even realize I wasn't following you

    by CherryValance

    whoops. This is too much to read 'cause I'm on my way out. But Dolph looked gorgeous on Conan the other night. I'll get around to reading this and I'll follow you directly. :)

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Expendables 2:More Expendable

    by RedJester

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:15 p.m. CST

    I was there

    by Binkysguy

    Yeah, the weather did indeed suck that day. I remember thinking 'Jeez, what an awful day to have to come out and do a meet-and-greet.' Wow, Quint, I didn't know you were there. Had I known I definitely would have talked with you, man! And to the soldier-hating cock in this TB...whatever. I sleep fine at night. :)

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Great Pictorial

    by Aquatarkusman

    I think we spend way too fucking much on the military, but hell we need jobs these days, and having grown up in the area, those soldiers definitely needed something of a respite from the relentless bleakness of the Kileen/Temple area.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    P.S. "I Come in Peace

    by Aquatarkusman

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:24 p.m. CST

    P.S. "I Come in Peace"

    by Aquatarkusman

    "You go in pieces"

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Dolph Lundgren for Omega Red

    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    Maybe that would make me want to see an X Men/Wolverine movie.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Dolph Lundgren for Crimson Dynamo or The Titanium Man.

    by Royston Lodge

    Sez I.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:22 p.m. CST

    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    MSNBC reports that seven people have been killed and 12 injured in a shooting at Ft Hood, Texas. Update at 3:17 p.m. ET: MSNBC says the shooters were in military uniforms. Update at 3:20 p.m. ET: MSNBC adds that one gunman is in custody and one is on the loose.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Dolph tries so hard...

    by HarryCalder

    I love the guy, but for chrissakes, some of those direct-to-video movies are just unspeakably bad. The one on the submarine? Can't even remember the title... Here's hoping The Expendables gets him better script offers...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Did you understand a word he said?

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST

    HarryCalder

    by TheNorthlander

    I think you've got Dolph and Seagal mixed up.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Whoa...

    by the_beard_of_Chuck_Norris

    DEVELOPING: A mass shooting at Ft. Hood military base in Texas has left at least 7 dead and 12 wounded, MyFoxDFW.com reported. <p> Wow...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    ...shooting at Fort Hood today?

    by FlickaPoo

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:58 p.m. CST

    TheNorthlander - No, I checked... "Agent Red"

    by HarryCalder

    is the name of the Dolph sub movie. Atrocious. There's a scene where one character relays some important information to another character. Not five minutes later, there's another scene between two characters - and the EXACT SAME INFORMATION IS RELAYED AGAIN. The mark of raging buffoonery behind the camera. Anyway, really horrible news about what's happening at Ft. Hood...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Dolph Ludgren: I must break you

    by ominus

    he must do it.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Dolph Ludgren: I must break you

    by ominus

    he must do it.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3 p.m. CST

    Yeah, Flicka...

    by the_beard_of_Chuck_Norris

    I just think it's odd timing to have read this article at work today and now am reading about this shooting at the same base... kinda creepy...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:01 p.m. CST

    The Expandables!

    by andrew coleman

    Can't fucking wait for that movie. Dolph needs to be in more movies period.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:02 p.m. CST

    There WAS a shooting at Ft. Hood today... no joke

    by Rocco Curioso

    At least 7 dead and up to 15 wounded, with maybe 2 gunmen involved (according to CNN).<P>This is one of those episodes when Obama needs to pronounce it a "great national tragedy", tell people it'll be resolved, and not turn it into a racial issue. Seriously, he's about dumb enough to take a bad situation like this and make it worse.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Rocco Curioso

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    How on Earth would/could Obama turn this shooting incident into a racial issue?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Both Puns had better guns, but Dolph was/is..

    by Stalkeye

    .THE best Punisher!,p>Bar muthafukin none.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Glad you weren't there Quint.

    by R.J. MacReady

    Scary shit. Rocco Curioso why would you make a comment like that? A race issue? You're the only one that brought up race.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Nice, Rocco.

    by ebonic_plague

    Way to spin a tragedy into your chance to bash Obama. You're a real class act.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Holy Shit

    by Chakraborty

    Talk about crazy coincidences. I wonder if it was one of the soldiers forced to sell souvenirs and tickets.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:25 p.m. CST

    All it's going to take to make this worse...

    by Rocco Curioso

    is one reporter asking Obama a very specific question (was racism a factor?), and him not giving a throughly neutral answer. No kidding. He already goofed up that whole business with Henry Louis Gates. Who's to say he won't do it again?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Rocco, TheNorthander is to say that.

    by TheNorthlander

    Now lets drop it.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    And Dolph said this, and I laughed, and he laughed

    by Glory_Fades_ImMaxFischer

    This whole article was like when Conan O Brian goes through his photoshopped picture stacks.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Also is it weird to anyone that someone is Shooting up Ft. Hood

    by Glory_Fades_ImMaxFischer

    Right after Dolph visits? just wondering.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Also ironic are Ad Wizard's comments above

    by Chakraborty

    "The reverence you americans have for your hired killers never ceases to amaze me." <p> Very ironic.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Ft. Hood

    by Aldaron

    Yes, it was weird to read this, and then see the news later in the day. Some in military uniforms shooting people.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    ...I hope it wasn't someone who read our comments...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...about Dolph being in better shape than the soldiers.<P>That was pretty mild by talkback standards.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:43 p.m. CST

    Rocco

    by Adelai Niska

    are you kidding? A mass shooting will be made WORSE in the hypothetical situation where Obama isn't neutral enough in answering a completely unrelated question? Get you head out of your ass, people died.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Rocco Curioso

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Whatever. You would have done yourself better by admitting that you're an idiot and that you sometimes say really stupid things.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:50 p.m. CST

    whoa

    by The Dum Guy

    I just read this and turned on CNN and just heard about the shooting.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Don't feed the troll

    by Chakraborty

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:51 p.m. CST

    IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE ?

    by TheGabrielGray

    WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF THIS GARBAGE ? I MEAN IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE COOL NEWS ? THIS SITE LOWERS ITSELF LOWER ON A DAILY BASIS. BRAVO QUINT YOU IGNORANT TALENTLESS SLUT. OH HOW I LAUGHED AND FUCKING LAUGHED. THE NERD BOUNTY HUNTER FROM CRITTERS 2 FINALY MEETS HE-MAN, AND FOR WHAT ? A RELIGIOUS LECTURE DELIVERED BY A COLONEL TELLING US HOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL THE MILTARY, AND HAS THIER BACKS WHILE BLOWING PEOPLES BRAINS ACROSS THE STREET. A-FUCKING-MEN. OH HOW I LAUGH AND FUCKING LAUGH!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Attack on Ft Hood

    by Creative1

    What a nightmare for all attached to Ft Hood.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4 p.m. CST

    12 dead, 30 wounded

    by DanielPlainviewOnVacationInBoston

    at Fort Hood today. Two shooters in military uniform. . . . one in custody, massive manhunt for the other underway. I read this this morning and then just happened to check the news and. . . . fucking sons of bitches.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:06 p.m. CST

    FINGERS CROSSED QUINT IS A STATISTIC

    by TheGabrielGray

    HOW WAS YOUR DAY WITH DOLPH NOW ? STILL COOL ? HEY MAYBE IT WAS DOLPH N THAT BIG FUCKING GUN. RAMBO 4 STYLE. <p>POW POW POW POW POW "HEY THERE IS A JOURNALIST" POW POW POW POW <p> DOLPH SETS ABOUT MAKING CRUDE NECKLACES OUT OF SEVERED EARS AND BUTCHERED GENITALS. <p>QUINT THEN WRITES ABOUT THE DAY ON AIC WHILE BLEEDING TO DEATH IN A PUDDLE OF HIS OWN TOMATOS!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Holy Shit

    by Romeros_child

    Wierd that AICN throws out an odd article like this, than something extremely fucked up happens. Don't know if this is in poor taste but if Dolph was there would this have turned into a JVCD situation?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST

    TheGabrielGray, you miserable bastard

    by DanielPlainviewOnVacationInBoston

    Why the fuck are you making jokes when 31 people are seriously wounded and 12 are dead on a U.S. Military Base, you worthless piece of shit?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:10 p.m. CST

    don't feed the troll(s)

    by The Dum Guy

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Dolph is there and a shooting happens

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    Shit i hope these guys don't get anywhere near me.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:20 p.m. CST

    @DANIEL PLAINVIEW I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE

    by TheGabrielGray

    I DRINK IT UP SLUUUUURRRRRPPPPPP!!! <p> DRAIIIIIINNNNNNNAAAGGGGEEEEEE <p> (RIP) QUINT LMAO

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Dolph is the best Punisher

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    You should have told him that.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:26 p.m. CST

    "OUR THOUGHTS ARE WITH THE FAMILYS"

    by TheGabrielGray

    NO JOKE, NO PUN, IT IS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY, <p>BUT ON THE OTHER HAND THE ONE PLACE THAT YOU WOULD THINK COULD HANDLE THIS KIND OF THING <p> WOULD BE A FUCKING MILITARY BASE. <P> BE THE BEST <p> (RIP) CORPSES

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:31 p.m. CST

    WAS IT QUINT WITH HIS CRITTERS 2 BOUNTY HUNTER GUN ?

    by TheGabrielGray

    DRESSED IN FULL ON BOUNTY HUNTER NERD OUTFIT ? <p> KILL THE CRITES! <p>DAVID TWOHY AND MICK GARIS`S SCRIPT AND DIRECTION BACKFIRE. <p> IN SPECTACULAR FASHION!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:43 p.m. CST

    When military bases get shot up...

    by alienindisguise

    I have no real faith in the military to protect me should the bombs start dropping. I thought all bases were equipped to make sure shit like this doesn't happen. Guess we'll all know more tomorrow.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:45 p.m. CST

    People get killed every day

    by Rocco Curioso

    Including soldiers, and not just American soldiers (albeit rarely under such circumstances as those at Fort Hood). I'm not saying Obama has the power to raise them from the dead like Lazarus. They're gone; can't change that. However, he could potentially turn the aftermath into a melee if he doesn't make damn sure the issue of racism possibly being involved in the shootings is diffused. That's the drawback to being the first black President: the issue of racism always gets raised after an extreme event.<P>In a situation like this, you can always separate the self-righteous from those who are not by letting slip just one remark that isn't 100% PC. Without fail, the self-righteous will be all over you like a wolfpack on its prey.<P>Man up, fellas. Most of you didn't give a fart in a high wind about the soldiers at Fort Hood BEFORE THIS HAPPENED. But now--- suddenly--- it's rally 'round the flag time. How typical.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Jesus. wtf is going on in America

    by ominus

    wake up americans,wake up before its too late.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Obama's statement AP

    by Scottadkinsfist

    WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama on Thursday called a mass shooting at a Texas Army base "a horrific outburst of violence." "We will make sure that we get answers to every single question about this horrible incident," the commander in chief said. "We are going to stay on this." He said it's a tragedy to lose a soldier overseas and even more horrifying when they come under fire at an Army base on American soil. The Army says 12 people were killed and more than 30 wounded at the Army base at Fort Hood, Texas. Obama also said his thoughts and prayers are with the wounded and families of the fallen. -Rocco, shut your piehole. I don't see you waving a flag at any point on these or any other talkbacks. It was a tragedy, and the responses here-save for yours-is appropriate, as was the President's response. Don't bring up crap about what our President will do until it's done. Some of these talkbackers have family and friends in the military, but don't feel the need to wave the flag every second. We gave a crap before this for ALL soldier everywhere-including Fort Hood. Piss off.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5 p.m. CST

    oops

    by Scottadkinsfist

    Some misspelling here and there-but you guys know what I mean. I just had a friend deployed to Iraq last month after being back from a 2-year stint in Afghanistan. I give a great damn about it, too.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5 p.m. CST

    My niece just moved to Ft Hood this week.

    by Sal_Bando

    No joke. GAG.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5 p.m. CST

    This just in from CNN:

    by Rocco Curioso

    A "suspected gunman" (not sure if he was the one killed) has been identified as Major Malik Nadal Hasan. Sounds like his ethnicity probably isn't Caucasian.<P>I told you. This situation just turned into a lit firecracker.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:03 p.m. CST

    A disgruntled military person?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Wow, what a shock.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:05 p.m. CST

    This just in from AICN:

    by Stalkeye

    Rocco is an Asshole.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Oh fuck

    by Chakraborty

    His name is Hasan? Shit. My life just got a little bit more difficult. Thanks a lot, Malik.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:15 p.m. CST

    countdown...

    by The Dum Guy

    ...to people speculating on him being a Muslim.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:28 p.m. CST

    QUINT IS WRITEING THE SCRIPT RIGHT NOW

    by TheGabrielGray

    OF COURSE IT WILL CENTRE AROUND HIM AND DOLPH SAVING THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY! <p> HE WILL CALL IT... WHEN THE HOOD RAN RED BLOOD OF PATRIOTISM. <p>DOLPH WILL PLAY THE BLACK VILLIAN

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Rocco, seriously, stop digging.

    by The Garbage Man

    You said something stupid and inappropriate, it happens. Just apologize and let it go instead of continuing to justify yourself and your idiotic ideology. You're just making yourself look worse. <p>TheGabrielGray: does it hurt to be so classy? Get your trolling in quick because you're not going to last much longer.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 5:39 p.m. CST

    GabrielGray

    by ebonic_plague

    ...is an asshole. Imagine that.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:10 p.m. CST

    @ebonic plague WELL DEDUCED

    by TheGabrielGray

    SHERLOCK!

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:41 p.m. CST

    nice article, Quint

    by CherryValance

    Can't believe the coincidence though. Yikes.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:47 p.m. CST

    I'm sorry, The Garbage Man...

    by Rocco Curioso

    Sorry you're a PC-induced/-shackled zombie who can't think for himself. Let's see what the news services have divined about the late Major Hasan thus far:<P>1.) Age 39-40.<P>2.) Country of origin was Jordan.<P>3.) Was a licensed psychiatrist whose job was to help soldiers deal with combat trauma (guess THAT didn't work out too well).<P>4.) Was due to be deployed to Iraq and (supposedly) wasn't too happy about it.<P>You can be damn sure whoever investigates this will be hoping the "psychiatrist gone mental" angle is the one that plays out to be the underlying reason for the killings.<P>Of course, there is NO WAY his actions may have been racially motivated. As we all know, the new PC America does not hold ethnic minorities accountable for such actions (nor has it since 9-11) by virtue of them being part of an ethnic minority because THAT WOULD BE RACISM, which is forbidden.<P>Watch this incident become a catalyst for public debate about any number of issues military-related. More stuff for Obama to put on his procrastination list.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 6:54 p.m. CST

    I wonder who;s had a worse career? Dolph, or

    by lockesbrokenleg

    the guy from those battery commercials from the 80s?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:12 p.m. CST

    Rocco Curioso

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Wow. The only person I've seen/heard try to make this a racial issue is you. And you've done it such a slimeball fashion that it's truly dispicable. You've just exposed yourself as one sad piece of shit.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Gaius

    by Rocco Curioso

    Don't be so naive. It won't serve you well.<P>BTW, latest reports on Major Hasan indicate that he was supposedly harassed by fellow soldiers for his Middle Eastern origins, and may may been targeting specific individuals during the actual shooting.<P>Make of that what you will.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Okay, Rocco, you've convinced me...

    by ebonic_plague

    ...it's time to round up and kill all the Muslims, and regular blacks too, just to be safe. Because to deny that inevitable final solution to this obvious problem would be "too PC," and we can't have that.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Dolph would have stopped this if he stuck arond

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    mark my words.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 8:04 p.m. CST

    The shooter was a haji

    by Star Hump

    That's the word officially used by the Amy for an Iraqi, anyone of arab decent, or even of a brownish skin tone, be they afghanis, or even Bangladeshis.<p> You can be sure the major heard this word on a daily basis.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST

    what are irregular blacks?

    by CherryValance

    ?

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 8:37 p.m. CST

    man, that's fucking terrible about that shooting..

    by The_Crimson_King

    in Fort Hood and the day after this article too? that's bizarre...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Dolph wasn't 'just' here

    by Binkysguy

    The day I went and saw him up at the PX was around September 20 (I think). It was definitely more than a month ago. As to today's shooting...fuck. It happened right across the street from where I work. People screamed 'Get down!' and we hit the dirt. There were loads of ambulances...we helped carry people out until the EMTs arrived. Shit was chaos.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 10:11 p.m. CST

    Rocco

    by DanielPlainviewOnVacationInBoston

    You damn well not better pretend to be a Conservative. Because you're making us who aren't as unintelligent as you look bad. The liberals surely don't want you either. Nor do any of the race groups.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Pardon me but your projection is showing, Rocco.

    by The Garbage Man

    I'm a "PC-induced/-shackled zombie who can't think for himself," am I? Thanks for pulling that little chestnut out of your dipshit handbook, too bad it doesn't stick. What the holy fuck did I say that had anything to do with being PC you ignorant twat? You try claiming that Obama is an fool who will inflame this as a racial issue, you're proven wrong, then proceed to do everything you can to make it one yourself. <p>You were out of fucking line to begin with trying to make a stupid, partisan political crack directly on the heals of a tragedy and you were called on it. As DanielPlainview pointed out, no one on here agrees with you but you're too goddamn unintelligent to figure out what an utter cunt you are. Quit while you're behind.

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST

    No, Rocco's right, as Ebonic Plague pointed out...

    by Stegman84

    So yes, we better kill all the muslims. And all the black people too, just to be sure. And all the white people, because some white people actually like black people and/or muslims (I know, right!) and you can't easily tell which white people are 'safe' so best kill all of them as well. It's the only way to be sure. Oh, and all the yellow people have to be killed, because everyone knows they are just over there lying in wait. I've seen it on tv. And red people, they can't be trusted, that's just common knowledge, so they all have to die. And anyone left was obviously in on the conspiracy to kill everyone, so better kill them too. Hell, I say we take off, nuke the place from orbit, just to be sure...<p> Or, alternatively, and I'm just spitballing here, we can ignore racist, bigoted assholes like Rocco Curioso, and just plain hate filled douchebags like GabrielGray, as the oxygen stealing cum stains on the white sheets of humanity that they so clearly are, in the hopes that maybe one day their bile filled rhetoric will be as rare as it is pathetic. You know, just a thought...

  • Nov. 5, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST

    THEGABRIELGRAY

    by Don_Logan

    I hope to God I get to meet you someday, sir, you miserable fuck. How dare you make light of this shit, you ignorant fucking troll. If you ever come around the Baltimore area, please do make your presence known.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 12:14 a.m. CST

    As I wrote earlier:

    by Rocco Curioso

    "... by letting slip just one remark that isn't 100% PC... without fail, the self-righteous will be all over you like a wolfpack on its prey." Thanks for proving me correct, fellas.<P>Obama's gonna sidestep this big time. Sure, he'll make another mournful speech and do a reasonable facsimile of a man who's upset by such a tragic event... but in the end, he won't do jackshit to try and ensure that something like this doesn't happen again.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Wow. Nice pics.

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Seriously.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 1:37 a.m. CST

    Your initial assertation is retarded

    by ebonic_plague

    Obama is going to turn this into a racial melee, huh? Not the partisan hacks who, within minutes of a mass murder, start salivating at the prospect of parsing his remarks on the subject for any kind of cherry-picked awkward phrasing they can misinterpret as another excuse to hate him... no, it's all Obama's fault, and because something tragic like this is inevitably bound to happen again, any future incidents like this are all his fault for not fixing the problem, too. Gotcha. <p> Yeah your noble un-PC ideals are so persecuted, that's the real tragedy here.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 2:07 a.m. CST

    @DON LOGAN

    by TheGabrielGray

    WHY YOU GONNA SHOOT ME UP ? LMAO. DONT WORRY I WILL " NEVER " GO TO FUCKING BALTIMORE.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 2:20 a.m. CST

    Quint & Dolph, you lucky guys ...

    by HessianHorseman

    ... being "part of lt. general lynch's god's army" is dangerous. I express my condolences to the families of the deceased soldiers.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 3:17 a.m. CST

    Dolph made a guest appearance on AOTS last night

    by Stalkeye

    Great guy with a sense of humor (before reveiling himself, he was wearing some bear costume, i think.)and it seems he still "has it" while demonstrating a few martial Arts techniques to sugar coated host kevin Pierra.Too bad his carrer never really took off post Universal Soldier.<p>Best of luck.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Rocco

    by DocPazuzu

    You're a fucking cretin.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Shooter was born in Virginia

    by Ninjamime

    "A federal official said Hasan is a U.S. citizen of Jordanian descent. Military documents show Hasan was born in Virginia and has never deployed outside the United States."

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 9:49 a.m. CST

    GRAY

    by Don_Logan

    You will "never" come to Baltimore? In quotes, eh? Nevermind...I now see that you are either a young teenager trying to stir up some shit, or simply a mind crippled by a sub-par schooling. Pity, sir...pity. Good luck with your angry ramblings (i.e. the things there's no way in Hell you'd ever say to any normal human being in-person). Blow.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST

    ALSO...

    by Don_Logan

    No, I wouldn't "shoot you up". Shooting is for good soldiers, hunters, and pussies who refuse to fight like men. I would simply beat you senseless to make a small point about compassion for the families of victims of incidents such as this.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Army POST

    by I am the most horrible

    Air Force base... Navy base... Marine base...<p> That's what on a post you have a PX and on all others (bases) you have the BX.<p> Just fyi.

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Command Pervertmince was GOOD! See it.

    by LimpdickSherlock

  • Nov. 6, 2009, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Dolph also stopped by Orlando

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    but took off before the shooting there.