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If we could just get rid of those annoying teenagers, CIRQUE DU FREAK would be a great movie, says Capone!!!
Hey, everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
This film is really simple to break down. Any time the action focuses on one of the two younger male leads--Josh Hutcherson of ZATHURA and JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH fame, or newcomer Chris Massoglia--the movie breaks down. Whenever there's a more seasoned cast member inevitably stealing the scene from Massoglia (playing the focal character Darren) or Hutcherson (playing his best friend Steve), the movie is humorlessly entertaining. Fortunately for CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT, based on the first three novels in a series of 12 by Darren Shan (yes, the author gave his lead character his name). The film almost demands comparisons to Twilight, and that's fine since both series are centered on young vampires dealing with not only life in the undead world but also their own unformed maturity.
CIRQUE DU FREAK is the better first movie thanks to its freak show environment that allows us to meet all sorts of bizarre-looking and -acting souls, including John C. Reilly's Larten Crepsley. Half the time, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be laughing at Reilly's portrayal of this foppish ringleader, who changes Darren into his own personal Renfield (go read your “Dracula” if you don't get the reference). Darren and Steve sneak out late at night and hit a traveling freak show that has come through their town. They somehow figure out that Crepsley is a vampire, and this leads to Darren sneaking into Crepsley's dressing room and getting busted. The friendship is fractured when Darren is turned (I guess Steve didn't like the idea of his friend becoming a vampire without him), but Darren is too busy marveling at the circus-like environment to notice at first. We meet such splendid creatures as Salma Hayek as the bearded lady, Orlando Jones as this hideously skinny dude, Ken Watanabe as Mr. Tall (sometimes the names tell you all you need to know), Frankie Faison as Rhamus Twobellies, Jane Krakowski as Corma Limbs (she can grow back severed body parts), Patrick Fugit's marvelously laid-back take as Evra the Snake Boy, and Willem Dafoe possibly gay vampire Gavner Purl, who is only in the film briefly, but if they make more of these, he'll play a more prominent role in future installments.
The big-picture story involves a 200-year-old war between tribes of vampires, the more villainous of the two called the Vampaneze, lead by the nasty Murlaugh (Ray Stevenson of "Rome" fame). And that pretty much sets the stage for what I'm hoping will be a franchise. CIRQUE DU FREAK isn't a great movie, but it's good enough that I'm curious where things go from this point. Director Paul Weitz (who co-wrote the adaptation with Brian Helgeland and is the brother of NEW MOON director Chris Weitz) has added a mildly perverse element to the story, which I sincerely appreciated. There's also a rich visual component to the movie that helps distract us when the plot gets thin, which is more often than I would have liked. Still, when you've got John C. Reilly as your maudlin, brooding vampire lead whose comic timing is active whether he wants it to be or not, something special is bound to result. All of this said, this film is clearly aimed squarely at the 'tween and young teen audience, even more so that the TWILIGHT books. But a saga focusing on a mixed-up teen boy whose hormonal imbalance is replaced by a mild lust for blood is an appealing, if obvious, metaphor.
Some significant improvements need to be made before another chapter in this series can get made, primarily having to do with Massoglia and Hutcherson's acting. The former simply can't yet, as he stands there like a newly planted tree that people simply step around as easily as they could mow down. The latter is a better performer, but there's a smug quality to him that goes beyond what is called for in the character. It's a knowing that because of his good looks, somewhere out in the darkness young girls are swooning over him and his confidence. And it kind of takes over from his actual acting. We'll call that quality "Pattinson-esque," after the man who perfected it. CIRQUE DU FREAK gets a barely passing grade for what happens on the outskirts, but the next film better make its foreground at least as interesting or I smell trouble.
-- Capone
capone@aintitcoolmail.com
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You may want to change your title to this, Capone, so the regular moorons will understand you're actually referring to "The Vampire's Assistant". Fucking Twilight.
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And thought you meant Orlando Bloom. Which would have been perfect. And an interesting role for him to boot.
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In the trailer. I was very interested. Once it turned into a "young boy learns how to be a vampire" story, I became less and less into it. I wish it was more freak show, less teenage boy, which is what the whole movie sounds like unfortunately. Which is a shame, bc Ken Watanabe and Selma Hayek as freaks led by John C Reilly is just too bizarre and thus too cool. Has a good look too.
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Just what the world needs. Fuck this shit.
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I'm not even going to bother then.
I was hoping for Anchorman with vampires. -
Was this written by a ten-year-old like Eragon??
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Oct 23, 2009 12:34:40 PM CDT
Can we get by a week without a crappy teen vampire movie?
by stooopider
Teenage girls control cinema
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he was quiet
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Who in the hell fucked up that casting decision needs to be banned from the industry forever! Who in their right mind puts a noob over an experience actor?This is Freaky Friday all over again!
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Oct 23, 2009 12:55:37 PM CDT
that newcomer Chris Massoglia looks just like Emile Hirsch
by billboefett
from Speed Racer and in the Wild. In fact, I'd say he's like Emilie Hirsch's poorman, like Skeet Ulrich is the poor man's Johnny Depp. Or Jettl93 is the poor man's.. well.. any famous director or special fx guy. Speaking of which, when I was sitting in the stickyfoot theater watching PARANORMAL ACTIVITY with C-No and some friends, I cracked a joke "This new ending.. that guy got his arm twisted.. I bet Jettl93 didn't have to twist Spielberg's arm on that script rewrite!!" Everyone got quiet, I looked around, hoping I didn't just make an ass of myself. But then Kurt Russell laughed, so I knew it was all ok.
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Oct 23, 2009 12:59:17 PM CDT
Island of Dr. Moreau meets Twilight, god this concept sucks
by billboefett
Nothing about this movie appeals to me, whatsoever. John C Reilly as a scary vampire? Eh.. no. Emilie Hirsch-clone as some dreamy teenage guy the girl's can swoon over? No. A war between vampires and whoever? Don't care. Not after the 15th fucking time I've seen it on screen. I just don't care anymore. Salma Hayek with a beard? Who are the ad-wizards who came up with this one? Go ahead and ruin something beautiful.. thats a good idea! Like when they actually figured out how to make Charlize Theron ugly in that MONSTER movie? The lead character likes a girl with a tail? He sees her tail? He gets tail? BWAHAHHAAH I get it. :(
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At first I thought this was a straight up comedy, then there's a version of the previews filled with teen angst, then there's kind of an awkward version where it's funny, but it seems unintentional.
Part of the problem I think is JCR, who I generally like, but they've given him some zany lines (and matching hairdo) and I can't get "Shake .... and BAKE!" out of my head. -
And yet the most obvious choice ever goes unmade. When will someone make SNOW CRASH into a movie?!?!?! That book is PERFECT for screen with today's FX. Chiwetel Ejiofor for Hiro Protagonist!!
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All of you that are passing this off as a Twilight wanna-be tween vampire thing are mistaken. I'm reading the books right now, and it is a very different concept than Twilight. The only similarity is the word Vampire. This isn't a love story. This doesn't have weak, sparkley, homo-erotic vampires. Yes, it is a teen story, but the books tend to be quite dark and somewhat violent for a children's story. Characters get killed in brutal, bloody ways. There's a pretty rich history behind the war between the vampires and the vampaneze. And to the person concerned about Selma and the beard... in the books, that character doesn't always have the beard. She has the ability to grow it in an instant. She only grows it when they're actually doing the freak show, and then she shaves it off. Anyway, my point is, this isn't going to be like Twilight.
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If it takes the story of 3 books to fill out a screenplay. Are they picture books or something? I mean, the average goosebumps book could have filled 90 minutes.
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Vamps that walk in day light and drink the blood of animals. So stupid. So........sooooooooooo stupid.
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Ya big dummy, I'll suck your blood...for your health!
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And thanks for some more info, HornOfSilk.
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...kill yourself and get cool vampire powers. What, what, what?
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Maybe it's because I've grown accustomed to him in comedies. Or, I've seen too much "sexy vampire" shit, but I just can't take him seriously...
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He might have grown into Dax Shepard in Zatharoostawhatever, but someone cast Zahn as his father in something as father in something. Also, Zahn should play the Steve character as an adult in the future movies (I assume the lead boy looks the same but everyone else grows up, or does that not happen in the movie version?).
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His comic work is clumsy, weak and unfunny.
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I was getting the "its ok to stick
your hand in garbage disposal" vibe
like Claire showed in Heroes Season 1. Shocker...I never read the books. -
At least someone got it...
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is without a doubt the dumbest person I've ever read on this site. By far. And really, that's an achievement.
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sucks a giant ass-cock in the sky.
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The second or third time I saw the ad I realized it was kinda serious - in a teen movie way.
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Is it a spoof? Is it trying to be serious? I don't get the previews.
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Has there ever been a title that rolls off the tongue less?
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English, muthafucka, do you speak it?
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This could have been a nice remake of Hammer's Vampire Circus, one of my favorite Hammer vampire movies.
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The 'possibly gay' part comes from Willem himself not the role.
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This network is almost unwatchable. Reminds me of the rabbit-ears antenna days of watching the Munsters (vampire tie-in).
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It was a fun popcorn flick. My kids liked it. Mission accomplished. Better than Transformers 2.
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Jeezus Effing Christ...I was already sold on Reilly's PaddyFro. It has two of my favorite C and D list actors in it?
Motherfucking sleeper gold. -
did you ever wonder why ice cubes taste so boring? its cause they are made out of stupid water you bimbo! put some fruit juice in there. for your health!
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Oct 23, 2009 11:07:53 PM CDT
Reilly dancing in the recording booth in Boogie Nights
by nasty in the pasty
= FUNNIEST THING EVER.
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EYE ROLL
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Good to see Orlando Jones is still getting work.
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Also, Dafoe was a vampire before in Shadow of the Vampire where he played Max Schreck. THAT was good.
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