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Watch America Bomb The Moon Friday 7:30am ET/4:30am PT!!
I am – Hercules!!
Just a reminder that NASA will blow up the moon this morning at 4:30am PT. Government scientists are super-extra-angry at the smug and deceitful moonmen because they refuse to share their water with us, forcing American astronauts to drink their own urine!
If you’re too lazy to look out a window, NASA TV (channel 283 on DirecTV) is offering full coverage. A preview:
Follow Herc on Twitter!!
Next Month!!
Kubrick’s
Masterpiece!!
$8.99 Blu-ray!!
Next Month!!
Kubrick’s
Masterpiece!!
$8.99 Blu-ray!!
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One giant Fuck You for mankind.
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Oct 09, 2009 2:34:46 AM CDT
watch as America flushes a giant chunk of change down the toilet
by natecore
thats right I said it.
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Starting at 7:55am ET. Guaranteed to not be canceled after the first season!
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way to find water nasa.
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Isn't it fuckin' scary when ridiculous shit like this comes true??? Don't mess with American pride! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csj7vMKy4EI&fmt=18 -
This might just be the worst Knock, Knock joke of all time.
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Cobra Commander tried to carve his face on the moon using a laser.
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Chairface Chippendale almost got his name on the moon, and then later on some Galactus analogue ate part of it. It was awesome.
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Break out the sun-swords and the Mok's....
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You beat me to a Thundarr joke!!!
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America's jealous of asteroids!! Free cheese falling from the sky!! Dogs and cats living together!! Mass hysteria!!
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half of the time, smirking at me. "Ohh, I'm a big pile of reflecting dust!"
Thinks it's so tough. -
For shame, Herc, for *shame*...
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Did we not learn from that debacle?
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Declares War on Moon.
News at 11. -
Good to know that the level of scientific discourse from this site is about what I would expect. Blow up the moon indeed...
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...Space dementia's a bitch.
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How about the whole solar system? Hooorrrayyy America!
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They called this shit yeeeears ago.
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I don't care what scientific advancements this brings about. NASA promised a show and didn't deliver. Shame on you NASA! Shame on you!
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There wasn't really any show. They said the rocket hit but I didn't see anything on the screen. I guess time will tell if it was a success.
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... that moon aint gonna try any funny stuff now. It knows its place!
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$1 to Beavis as he and Butthead were commenting on a music video. ;)
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Oct 09, 2009 7:59:24 AM CDT
NASA's Going To Be Firing a Rocket Up Someone's Moon?!
by darfurontherocks2
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It will be interesting to see the Doctor in it...
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She sucks............
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There testing to see if they can bomb that asteroid and the planet Nibiru when it comes around in 2012.
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with God's Americuuuuuhhhhhhhh.
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I could swear this was tried in The Time Machine with Guy Pearce. The blew up the moon with bombs to make room for a resort. This caused the moon to break apart and fall to the earth causing nuclear winter. I wonder if the morlocks will like Obama.
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who in turn blames George Bush. George Bush doesn't care about Moon People.
I can't believe I got in trouble for blowing up Nestle Quik cans when I was in fifth grade (yes, kids, it used to taste like chocolate milk AND came in an Earth-hating, environmentally unfriendly metal can) and now NASA is getting funding for blowing up crap on the moon. That little juvenile incident is why they said I couldn't be an astronaut. Well, that and on the application I failed everything except date of birth.
There must not be a "What Could Possibly Go Wrong Here" dep't. at NASA. That's a little surprising, to be honest. I'll bet the folks at the EPA are shitting a brick, and not the fun kind. -
Oct 09, 2009 10:18:01 AM CDT
Hopefully this will lead to a full scale Invasion!
by hollywoodhellraiser
I welcome my Alien Overlords!
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Why we need to go to the moon for it?
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Obama has named Chairface Chippendale as new Director of NASA
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Oct 09, 2009 10:29:48 AM CDT
We're giving them damn moon people what they deserve!
by mrmysteryguest
YARRRRRRR!!!!
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JimStansel-- I loved that skit !!!! That's exactly what this headline reminded me of. =)
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Seriously, there should be resorts for the obscenely rich on the moon.
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Oct 09, 2009 11:11:52 AM CDT
That 1970s issue of Popular Mechanics was full of shit.
by stereotypical evil archer
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"I walked on the moon. Did a pushup, ate an egg on it; what else can you do with it?"
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We need to bomb the moon to kill the Gorgotron. He's destroying all the craps!
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Who needs Superman?
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a big waste of fucking money.
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ill plow my rocket into both their moons, then send a surprise plume to their lower back
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nasa gotta eat.
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Oct 09, 2009 12:11:36 PM CDT
I Heard A Girl Almost Crying Because This Upset Her So Much
by crow3711
I almost slapped her for her utter stupidity. She actually said things like, "We already messed up the Earth, and now we're bombing the Moon?!?! There will be consequences. There's no reason to be messing up the moon and bombing things in Space." I think she thought one rocket would explode the entire moon, or possibly make the Moon fall out of the sky or something. I tried to explain that the Moon was already completely covered with craters, and entirely to large to be affected by one tiny rocket meant to kick up some space dust...but she was too upset. It was fucked up. We're in college.
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would you miss it?
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... Ignignokt and Err. Those guys are funny.
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If we do nothing, the terrorists will have won...
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That guy does not know how to fail.
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Oct 09, 2009 12:30:35 PM CDT
STAND BY EVERYBODY I WILL SOON HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
by bringingsexyback
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What're you doing with a gun in space, Steve? ;)
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How American of you to be specific about it being your country. NASA incorporates talent from the world over...and space exploration shouldn't be a narrow minded view of how our geo political designs are represented...it's a human endeavor, not just an American one.
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...for being in the glory that is "Lifeforce".
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...and was later discovered to have blown up a British army jeep and four British soldiers. Oooooooooh controversial!
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I love that there is an article on AICN for this and nowhere in it or this talkback has anyone mentioned what the actual NASA story is. All I know is that they better not hit any of the Amazon women up there.
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Oct 09, 2009 1:38:39 PM CDT
It's a disgrace that President Obama receives the Peace Prize...
by royston lodge
...on the very same day that he launches a devastating missile strike on the moon.
WHAT DOES THE USA HAVE AGAINST THE MOON PEOPLE?!?!?! -
let's blow up earth things!
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That is the huge mystery of the day.
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...which means the moon is fair game!
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we cant even figure out a health reform and we are bombing the moon, wtf?
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basically.
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...or using the word "props"...but about 5 years ago he had a Gov. Ahhnuld impersonator call in to discuss drafting a bill to blow up the moon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQdv2Ie_kXs (the Gov kicks in about 1:45) It was hilarious, with stuff like "If we get rid of the moon, women, those menstrual cycles are governed by the moon, will not get PMS. They will stop bitching and whining." THEN...then-little-known Joe Scarborough didn't vet the story...thought the REAL Gov actually said it & then went on air to DENOUNCE the Governor for his proposal. Classic!
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Damn Moon communists!
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...the mission was to incinerate Sam Rockwell clones who became aware they were clones.
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North Korea retroactively claims crater bombed by USA as North Korean territory
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You're a fucking dick if that was the real plot. I didn't get a chance to catch it, how about a spoiler alert to help a brother out?
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Oct 09, 2009 3:06:56 PM CDT
WATCH AMERICA WASTE 79 MILLION DOLLARS DURING A RECESSION
by supercowbell5thecowbellhasspoken
didnt catch it. im sure it was a waste of money.
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...cure lycanthropy?
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We've got to put those Loonies in their fucking place!
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NASA is really headed by, Marvin The Martian. "Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom!"
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Oct 09, 2009 5:49:32 PM CDT
We're EarthLINGS...we should be blowing up Earth THINGS!
by voice o. reason
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To blow up!
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Imagine that.
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....for his P-38 Space Modulator.
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without an embedded clip of Mr Show's 'Blow up the Moon' skit?
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I can one-up you on that. I once worked with a girl who was taking 3rd year engineering at University. One evening our idle conversation moved to space and she expressed that she didn't understand why the astronauts couldn't breath in space. I forget the specifics because it was years ago but she also seemed to be under the impression that they could swim around in space. It eventually ended with me showing her on a napkin how an orbit works. The idea that this woman may have somehow gone farther in life than me utterly disturbs me.
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The spacecraft was supposed to generate a six mile plume when it struck, for its other half to fly through and analyze. Didn't happen: evidently, moon soil is too compacted for that effect...
The impact still created light waves that will take weeks to review for evidence of moon water...very helpful for the forthcoming moon base, and any future plans to deploy Sam Rockwell there. -
This is going to make, the people at Fox News, happy.
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mostly because it says a lot about how the smartest of us still has their heads all the way up their own asses. They had no idea what would happen and they did it anyway. The moon doesn't belong to any of us. And yet, we just go blow it up. Nice one, humans.
I just hope Ming the Merciless caught wind of it. -
Here come the Morlocks!
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Oct 09, 2009 8:42:18 PM CDT
Like Obama, this Moon Bomb was all HYPE, zero RESULTS
by theghostwholurks
Doubtless, the Nobel Committee will give NASA the 2009 Prize for Astronomy based on what they HOPED would actually happen, rather than what actually DID.
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and weep for the future of our space program
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I thought that they already tried to get rid of the giant "CHAIRFACE" name--or partial name, anyways--off the surface of the moon. . .and it certainly didn't go well for the Tick.
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I had a similar experience with a girl, although it's slightly less scary since she wasn't an engineering student. I was describing to her what it looks like when you're on a transatlantic flight and peer out the window. I explained how the cloud cover was beneath the plane so you could see it from above, to which she replied: "Can you see the moon too?"
For a second or two I thought she was kidding, but it gradually dawned on me in horror that she was being serious.
Shit like that makes me want to sleep with the light on at night to keep the nightmares away. -
I figured this thread would devolve into Obama hate within 10 posts.
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So, naturally, an experiment that doesn't produce a spectacular effect is seen as a failure. No, it's just not what they expected.
No wonder "Armageddon" made a zillion at the box office; things there blow'd up REAL GOOD! -
THAT'S where Osama is hiding! Bomb the shite out of it!!!
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They just shot a fucking big rocket at the moon, at twice the speed of a bullet, FOR NO FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER!!
The only thing that could make this scenario cooler would have been to fill that rocket with ninjas.
THIS is the kind of shit that will have NASA funded for the next millennia. HOW FUCKING COOL WAS THE IDEA OF THIS?? -
Oct 10, 2009 6:41:12 PM CDT
Michael Bay should have been Mission Director for this one
by spud mcspud
There'd have been slo-mo, American flags EVERYWHERE, a rousing Hans Zimmer-type score, and more bang for your buck than from anywhere else in the universe.
Maybe even one of those low-angle, pan-round-from-below shots of Obama, too, just to put the cherry on that cake... -
Wouldn't it just be cheaper to build a refinery that combines hydrogen atoms with oxygen atoms to create water??
Doesn't ANYONE remember ALIENS anymore? Terraforming colonies, people!!! -
You guys call yourselves geeks, and you don't even have a fucking clue why it's crucial to find water on the fucking moon?!
If we're ever to establish a PERMANENT manned presence off of this planet, the natural first step is the moon...the ISS runs out of funding and is scheduled to "die" (make a controlled crash into the Pacific, same as the MIR) in '15 or '16 (it's actually in low earth orbit and requires routine "boosts" to stay there, which costs $$$).
The Earth has plenty of water, but flying it to the moon if there's already some there is about as dumb as filling your trunk with bathwater for a cross-country trip. Even the Russians (who undercut everybody in the space business) charge at least $4300 per kilogram just for orbit (to say nothing of the moon)...US launch costs can go as high as $40,000/kg.
The moon has pretty much every other necessary element, but until recently, water (actually, they mean HYDROGEN, but for you laypeople, they always say "water") wasn't believed to exist there. If water is found to be present in sufficient quantities, then a moon base (an inevitable next step to Mars and beyond) becomes WAY more practical, and could even be mostly self-sufficient.
This probe's mission was thus, crucial for future manned missions that could eventually lead to a future that looks like all the happy STAR TREK/STAR WARS bullshit you guys so joyfully devour on celluloid.
Please put the fucking game controllers and remotes down once and a while and read a Gawddamn book or science magazine so this shit doesn't fly over your head all the fucking time. -
Oct 11, 2009 2:21:29 PM CDT
If Obama can get the Peace Prize for not bringing peace...
by royston lodge
...I guess NASA will get the Physics Prize for not finding water.
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Maybe we can finally start decreasing the ever-growing unemployment rate by creating new jobs on the moon! God knows I'm not getting a pay raise anytime soon down here.
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Relax.....everybody's on here to have fun, not to question the extensive Discovery Channel education you have above us laypeople. So remove the Boba Fett Buttplug from your ass and take it easy. It's gonna be ok.
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The last time somebody probably told you to "relax" because you were going to "have fun", they whipped out some poppers at a Greenwich Village Halloween party...bet your ass hurt like a son of a bitch the next day. Next time, scan the TB, newb...there's a lot of idiots here who haven't a clue what the fuck this thing was for.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to switch off the Discovery Channel and watch your mother take two suborbital payloads across her tonsils at once over on Freud Box... -
....i did read the TB dipshit. It seems mostly full of people cracking jokes, not hundreds of troglodytes actually thinking we were sending rockets to the moon to bomb the bugs Ala Starship Troopers. I just can't stand it when geeks like you get on a high horse and scream to the heavens about how much technical know-how you have about a situation like this when it arises; on aintitcool.com no less. Not to mention, and I'm sure you truly do know more than me, but isn't water the tip of the iceberg? What about the effect continued less gravity would have on the human body? What about radiation because of no atmosphere? But I'm sure I probably didn't make myself clear...I can never concentrate with your mother licking my asshole with her silky, velvet toungue. She gives out of the world rimjobs, like to the moon out of this world.
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