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SOLOMON KANE is bloody, badass and every bit the SOLOMON KANE of the page! So Sayeth Massawyrm!!

Hola all. Massawyrm here. Clad entirely in black, he did not dress as such to be cool or mysterious, but rather to be plain. The swords; I think it was the swords that made him cool. Or the flintlock. Or the musket. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was a plain-clothed Puritan who walked the earth as the weapon of God, dispatching all manner of demon, witch, vampire and pirate that crossed his path that made him easily the most badass Bible banger ever put to print. He is Solomon Kane, creation of Sword & Sorcery godfather Robert E. Howard, and he’s back. Easily one of the very best things to emerge from Fantastic Fest this year was the much murmured about, but yet still stateside-undistributed fantasy film SOLOMON KANE. Kane is one of those great geek characters, buried in antiquity and only known by some of the hardest of the hardcore literary fantasy nerds. Unlike Howard’s better known hero, Conan, Kane never quite broke into the mainstream enough to garner the level of excitement there should be in the adaptation of the character. But there should be excitement. LOTS of excitement. Because this movie fucking kicks about 12 different kinds of ass and is exactly the type of thing to cause a resurgence in popularity and interest in the character. The producers took an interesting tact making this: they hired horror director Michael J. Bassett (DEATHWATCH and the criminally under-seen WILDERNESS) and tasked him with writing and directing an origin story. The hiccup? Howard never wrote an origin story. Being a pulp writer in the golden age of Science-fiction/fantasy there wasn’t much call for one. Heroes just kind of showed up. There were no rules because people like Howard, Lovecraft and Burroughs (Edgar Rice) were writing them as they went along. But this is a different age and people want to know where their heroes came from. So Bassett plunged himself into the text and pulled out every scrap of history Howard ever dropped in passing. And from that Bassett constructed a very BATMAN BEGINS kind of origin. Remember back when you first saw the early stills of VAN HELSING and read the first whispers of the story and thought “COOL!” Well, that’s because Sommers was ripping off some of the best elements of Solomon Kane for his own asstastic, juvenile, Universal monster fanfic opus. Everything VAN HELSING had going for it (save the monster choices) was plucked from the pages of Howard, and it isn’t until you see James Purefoy’s rendition of Kane that you can look at Hugh Jackman in that hat and realize what a fucking imposter he was. Once the clothes are on and the hat is firmly in place, there is no question: Purefoy is the reigning king of Puritan Chic. The film plays out as a pretty standard origin story with all the bleak accoutrements you’d expect in a post-DARK KNIGHT world. Solomon Kane isn’t a nice guy. He’s a scoundrel, a pirate and a murderer. But when he’s busy sacking a city and spilling the township’s blood for a fistful of gold, the Devil’s servants catch up to him eager to drag him screaming into the pits of hell. But Kane will have none of that. So he turns to God and becomes a man of the cloth; but that ain’t exactly right either. And once it becomes perfectly clear that the Devil has no intention of letting him off the hook, Solomon blends the lifestyles together and dedicates his life to sending the Devil’s minions back to him – sans a few limbs and several gallons of blood, of course. Just as Howard intended. SOLOMON KANE is an incredibly cool return to form for modern sub-studio level financing fantasy. This isn’t a big budget epic. It’s a modestly funded film that forced Bassett to milk every bit of mud, grit and grime he could to generate mood – not to mention bringing in veteran genre powerhouses Pete Postlethwaite and Max von Sydow to pitch hit in small, but pivotal roles – becoming an effective, authentic feeling film that puts you squarely in Colonial-era England. There’s just something about the real sets, the practical make up effects and a story focused more upon mood than huge stunts that puts this a cut above what you would expect. Unlike its recent Russian predecessor WOLFHOUND, I can’t liken it to the cheesy but enjoyable kitsch fantasy fare of the 80’s, because it is nothing like it. Bassett does everything in his power to elevate this beyond pulpy camp and turns to his horror-filmmaking roots to make the monsters genuinely intimidating, hideous and frightening. While it shares much in common with the genre fare of that era in terms of budget and story, it finds its home in the darker, more mature genre of the current era. Make no mistake – just because Howard didn’t write the story Bassett is telling is by no means any indication that this is anything but Howard’s Kane. He is still every bit the brooding, swashbuckling blood letter from the stories. And when all is said and done we are left with a hero ready to walk off into any number of Howard’s tales. Bassett has used the mythology to build upon it, adding a whole new layer to the character while introducing a new generation of readers to the classic, but long ignored, hero. I desperately hunger to see this film again on the big screen, and soon. It inspired me to go home and immediately order a complete collection of Howard’s original stories to reacquaint myself with him. Kane has spent way too much time out of the limelight and it’s time that he stepped in. I’m really pulling for someone like a Lionsgate or a Summit to step in and pick this up – someone hungry to make it a hit and who would put money into funding another few outings for Bassett and Purefoy. This is exactly the type of mid-range action fantasy film we need right now, something that illustrates what sharp, young directors can do with some dusted off titles and characters. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. As soon as you manage a way to see this (hopefully projected) do so at your earliest opportunity.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. Massawyrm
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Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:31 a.m. CST


    by KinjoAlcoholicNinja

    Cant wait to see this. Also first? Maybe?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:31 a.m. CST

    sounds good

    by onaps6453

    but i feel like this will certainly get fucked up on the way to the screen

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:33 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    "it isn’t until you see James Purefoy’s rendition of Kane that you can look at Hugh Jackman in that hat and realize what a fucking imposter he was."<p> Massa, don't let Harry catch you bad-mouthing VAN HELSING. You'll get a smack bottom and sent to bed without supper.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Sword and The Sorcerererer...

    by HarryCalder

    ...the standard by which we must compare such things. The original, of course.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Massa does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Massa, do you know if this is getting a theatrical release? US/international?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Posted too quickly...

    by HarryCalder

    Anyway, to finish my thought, even though the "can't compare to 80's fantasy fare" disclaimer was made, I have to, in terms of pure entertainment value.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Good to see the religious folk getting a little love.

    by puppiesandicecream

    Uusually in film, anyone that believes in God is either a serial killer, child rapist, or just an annoying idiot written for the audience to HATE.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:39 a.m. CST

    There's not enough of these films.

    by ganymede3010

    This sounds like a winner. I like the fantasy element but attaching the religious sub plot to it kind of turns me off. As long as the action and acting are tolerable i'll play along.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Wow, call me interested!

    by HollywoodHellraiser

    Sounds very exciting!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:41 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    "it isn’t until you see James Purefoy’s rendition of Kane that you can look at Hugh Jackman in that hat and realize what a fucking imposter he was."<p> Actually anyone who had seen PETER CUSHING as Van Helsing already knew what a fucking imposter Hugh Jackman was.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST

    I agree Cobra-Kai about Cushing.

    by The_Maltese_Vulcan

    Peter Cushing was the best Van Helsing AND Frankenstein ever put on screen.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Just come out on DVD already

    by IAmLegolas

    big fan of SK, but I'm tired of reading blogs and review of it if it's not coming out anytime soon. I feel like I've seen the movie already. Or at least least get a couple of one-off screenings here in Los Angeles, that's why we put up with the traffic, high cost of living and smog, to see movies like this that nobody else can.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST

    I always get Solomon Kane confused with...

    by KillDozer

    Solomon Grundy.<p><p>...Kane is a lot cooler.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:11 p.m. CST

    So Solomon is the inspiration for Van Helsing?

    by ShiftyEyedDog2

    HOLY SHIT this must suck. Van Helsing was ass from its very concept through to its final product. at NO point did it "kick ass"

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:15 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    The_Maltese_Vulcan = professional name, professional opinion.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Count Me Overjoyed

    by FlyingGuillotine

    I'm a huge fan of Solomon. If we get a sequel, I'm crossing my fingers they'll use the story in which he fights vampires in Africa. Creepy stuff. And Massa - just to be an ubergeek, do you recall in the original Vampire: The Masquerade book, one of the listed antagonists was a vampire hunted named Sullivan Dane?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    No pretty boys need apply.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:37 p.m. CST

    I like the sounds of this...

    by just pillow talk

    Demons vs. bad ass? Sweet. Never read Solomon Kane, but this sounds cool.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:38 p.m. CST

    "Purefoy is the reigning king of Puritan Chic"

    by Quin the Eskimo

    Now THAT'S a sentence!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Fired up!

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    Everything I've seen about this so far looks promising. It looks nice and dirty and bloody, just like Howard would have wanted it. The world needs to be exposed to more of this type of character instead of the milquetoast fantasy that is too often in the spotlight. I like LOTR but it's not the be-all-end-all that people make it out to be. Kane: check... next Elric, Conan or Bran Mak Morn please!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:54 p.m. CST

    If they don't release it in theaters, it wll become a cult hit

    by Han Cholo

    On DVD/Blu Ray ala Boondock Saints. Personally, I think the trailer looks badass and is everything Van Helsing was supposed to be to the tenth power. Me, I want to see female nudity, blood, action, and swords in my movies. How many do that nowadays huh?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Cue lockesbrokenleg's...

    by DocPazuzu post: <p> "Who's Robert E. Howard? Never heard of him. Is this, like, old people stuff?"

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:01 p.m. CST

    This is looking better and better.

    by DocPazuzu

    Huge Howard fan and didn't dare hope that this movie would be anything nearly as cool as it deserved to be. I was always okay with Kane simply being a mysterious, religious zealot and didn't like what I had heard about his origin in the film, but if Massa says it works then I'm willing to suspend judgment until I see the flick. <p> Oh and Purefoy is PERFECT casting. <p> What are the chances Conan will get the same respectful treatment?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:07 p.m. CST

    I think the problem..

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    ... with the whole S&S genre is that potential filmmakers WANT to be respectful of the source material but Hollydense just.. doesn't.. get it. Yes the stories and protagonists are grim. Yes there is tragedy and downbeat endings. Yes there is merciless violence. That's what makes them so kickass.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:07 p.m. CST


    by Continentalop

    Captain Kronos was the closest thing to Solomon Kane that I have seen in films.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:07 p.m. CST


    by lprothro

    So far this film has only been proven to kick 8-10 types of as$.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:10 p.m. CST


    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    KRONOS owns!... plus Caroline Munro is always a plus. Love the score too.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Kronos is cool.

    by DocPazuzu

    The scene where he kills his buddy turned vampire is hilarious.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Actually Howard DID write an orgin for Solomon Kane

    by Lukecash

    It was an unpublished poem that was in the back of the latest Solomon Kayne collection. He fought off raiders on his town and realized that there was evil in the world and he had to stop it.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Ultimate racism

    by NippleEffect

    lets wallow in it and be the new cool

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:40 p.m. CST

    robert howard is my hero

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    this movie will probably be better than the new conan movie. no we just need a bran mak morn movie!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:42 p.m. CST

    NippleEffect, huh?

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    you must be thinking of lovecraft. howard had many black heroic characters in his stories. they might not have been politically correct, but thats because political correctness was not invented until the 1990. lovecraft (though i like him) was much more racist than howard.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Couldn't Agree More

    by Charles Martel

    In fact, after watching the LA screening, I did the same thing: went and bought the most recent collection of Howard's stories of Kane (from the same series that republished all of Howard's Conan stories as he wrote them). So much fun. Great movie (not perfect, but more than good enough to get a release and a sequel). And some elements, which I won't name, were PURE Howard.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Isn't this movie PG-13 (or equivalent)?

    by Decado2

    I heard that somewhere and lost interest in it. I think good action movies can be made using PG-13 content, but something like this doesn't appeal to me at that rating.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:49 p.m. CST

    I was always a fan of the Conan Books..

    by Pawprint

    So I thought I would have a look for some Solomon Kane on Amazon, as this review piqued my interest. After reading about 4 pages ("Look Inside!"), I was instantly hooked and have ordered a stack of books from Amazon.<p> Brought back fond memories of being grounded as a teenager and burning through nearly all Howard's Conan books in a week!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:55 p.m. CST

    I hate origin stories.

    by kevred

    I can't remember any origin story I've ever read or watched that has entertained me or been a truly worthwhile statement. They're almost always boring and wastes of time.<p>That said, this project does sound very cool, entertaining, and I especially like the idea of a sub-studio-budget fantasy genre. It seems like all we have these days is the truly top-notch Hollywood stuff (LOTR, Harry Potter), the mediocre plastic corporate junk (D&D, Eragon), and then a big drop down to the consistently awful SyFy-style stuff (which includes Merlin and the like). Slotting an independent, creative, respectable niche somewhere in the middle would be a welcome addition.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    The current version is a gritty PG-13, but they shot a much bloodier R-rated/unrated series of scenes that Harry has seen and swears by (afterall, . We'll get those on DVD. I'm fine with two different ratings if it means introducing teens to the world of Howard while delivering us the bloody goods at home.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 2:07 p.m. CST

    The trailer looks pretty terrific - look it up on YouTube

    by kevred

    Great look & feel, the cast looks good, and so do the SFX. I'm usually a harsh judge of CG effects--seems like they so rarely are used well--and even though some of this jumps out as CG, I find myself still liking it because it's *imaginative* and what they're creating with it is actually interesting. I'd go see this if it gets released here.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 2:17 p.m. CST

    yeah..I had just watched the trailer...

    by just pillow talk

    I'd say it looks pretty good. I think they should just release the R rated version, but that doesn't happen anymore.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 2:24 p.m. CST




  • Oct. 7, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Massawyrm 1

    by Decado2

    Well, that's sort of good to hear. "Sort of" because you know that if the movie is a success, they'll never bother with an "R" rated version for subsequent film(s) and the suits will consider themselves proven "right". I'm assuming the film was made on a non-Hollywood budget, so I'm disappointed they're not going with the "R" rated version (I assume it goes better with the film's content).

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 2:45 p.m. CST

    i think the R rating is extinct

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    i predict there will be no more R rated film after the year 2015.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 2:57 p.m. CST

    trailer looks good but....

    by oisin5199

    I'm getting tired of the metallic sound effect every time a sword or knife appears, especially when they're not near any other metal, like say, a leather scabbard. Nitpicking? Perhaps, but I'm just getting so tired of the cliche.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Welcome news. Can someone PLEASE go make...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    a decent Doc Savage film, now? Set in the 1930s? Thanks.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST

    And Oisin...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    Everyone knows that back in the day, ALL leather scabbards were required to have metal lining inside, SPECIFICALLY so that all blades made that cool "SSHHINNG" sound effect whenever they were drawn. It's a historical fact.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Would love to see a Captain Kronos remake

    by Stalkeye

    This guy was kicking vampire ass before Blade and vampire hunter D.It's been awhile since i first seen the movie. (circa 1994) just might have to resubscribe to Netflix and add it to my queue.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Soloman Kane

    by Miguel De Barioz

    Fuck Yeah - I'm so glad we are going to see this movie man! Fuck Yeah - I am the biggest Robert Howards Geek in the world man! I love Conan the Barbarian, Conan the destroyer and Red Sonia, and also I liked all the other gooky films this guy has made. Possible casting for Solomon Kane 2 - Witches in Africa: Solomon Kane - Michael Douglas. Red Sonia - Brigitte Neilsen. The Black Witch - Danny Glover. The Black Guards - CGI. Vanquro - Dan Shanks. What do you guys think?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Off topic, but....

    by Hairy Nutsack

    ...this reminds me of the Tarzan books. I really wish they'd do Tarzan the way he is written, an absolutely brutal savage man.<p> There's a scene in one of the Tarzan books I'm dying to see on film. Tarzan fights the Germans in Africa in WWI with the British. In one scene Tarzan and a lion leap into a trench and slaughter Kaiser bastards by the truckload. Absolutely brutal and brilliant.<p> Back on topic, I'm really looking forward to Solomon Kane. It sort of came out of nowhere and got my attention, the trailer kicks ass.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:24 p.m. CST

    knew this thing was good.

    by pipergates

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    gritty pg-13? never heard that one before.

    by HaterofCrap

    the trailer looked like a video game.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4 p.m. CST

    Kane was a pirate? The Devil? I call bullshit.

    by Brian888

    And I'll tell you why. As Lukecash already pointed out, REH DID do an origin of sorts for Kane that had nothing to do with him being a pirate, brigand OR clergyman. The more problematic issue here is the Devil wanting Kane's soul. That's cute and all, but it runs totally contradictory to what's actually in REH's stories. Kane's world is one in which people believe in the Christian God, but the horror (as in Lovecraft) is that the Christian God is apparently a figment of people's imaginations. The world in REH's stories is much, much older and MUCH weirder than Kane initially realizes; a lot of the power of the later stories comes from Kane gradually recognizing this. When some Arab slavers accidentally unleash the kissing cousin of a Shoggoth from its tomb in Africa, it's not prayers that save Kane, it's his staff, a staff that was ancient and powerful when humans were just starting to evolve, that was carved by the inhuman creatures that ruled the world long before man showed up (it was the staff, incidentally, and not God that let Moses work miracles before Pharaoh). It blows Kane's mind to discover just how old and powerful the staff really is. Putting the Devil at the middle of all this invalidates all that Lovecraftian, Theosophic flavor in favor of a more traditional Christian horror setting. That's fine for what it is, but it ain't Kane.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing competes for worst film ever


    What an insipid bit of rancid cunt sap that film was. I fell asleep the first two times I tried to get through it (and I worship Kate Beckinsale but this movie was awful).

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Vampire Hunter D also ripped off the aesthetic

    by Dingbatty

    of SK.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:10 p.m. CST


    by Dingbatty

    Easy fix. They can later just say that "the Devil" was just a being calling itself that to terrorize the then current Christian denizens of Earth.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Miguel De Barioz..You say..

    by Hotscot

    You say you're the biggest Robert Howard geek in the world man...but you spell Red Sonja wrong...just sayin...

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:19 p.m. CST

    You were right about Volkodav

    by Megan_Foxs_Tool_Box

    So i choose to believe you know

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:21 p.m. CST

    For all your understanding of Kane, Brian888

    by Massawyrm 1

    You seem to have missed the story in which Kane refers offhand to time he spent as a pirate. And the "partial" - and woefully incomplete - origin is used in this story as well. Seriously. Don't call bullshit on the film vs the Printed page until you've spent time with Bassett's vision.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:45 p.m. CST

    As much as this looks cool, Massa,,,

    by spud mcspud

    Didn't they wipe out all but one reference to Kane's almost asexual lack of interest in anything carnal? In the stories and comics, he's almost repelled by beautiful women; in the trailer I saw, he's happy to ogle Postlethwaite's daughter. And doesn't he also have sort-of psychic powers in this - also which he DIDN'T have in the stories? And isn't he less dour in the movie than he was in the book?<P> This review seems to be all the good stuff, but leaving out the bad - which has already been revealed on this site a few months back. This ISN'T the exact same Solomon Kane that REH wrote; it's been changed a fair bit. And I've read this on more sites than just AICN.<P> So, Massa, come clean: are you just bigging up the good and conveniently forgetting the bad? Give us ALL the goods, not just the positives. I'll still go see it - I'd rather see a SOLOMON KANE they got 70% right than have to sit through that Kevin Sorbo shitfest KULL THE CONQUEROR again - where the 5% they got right were the name of the character, and the last scene with Tu, which is ripped straight from the stories.<P> Even if it ain't perfect, I'm still looking forward ot it. Visually, it looks AWESOME...

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:47 p.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    Just one Shoggoth onscreen. that's all I want to see in my movie-going life. Just ONE FUCKING SHOGGOTH that lives up to the insane visuals of a Shoggoth that I have going through my feverish mind.<P> And if it's in a kick-ass, visually stunning SOLOMON KANE movie - I could die right after that screening.<P> But it does need Shoggoths, though. Most everything does...

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Solomon Kane was a pirate?

    by Continentalop

    I always saw him as a privateer.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Biggest upset at Fantastic Fest

    by konkrete590

    I was looking forward to this more than anything else at Fantastic Fest, and hated the thing. This is a dark movie that ends up having Xena-esque character reactions that in no way fit in the situations. When a little girl witnesses a whole village being killed, you don't laugh at your husband when he asks what she saw and tell him to shoosh. This movie is full of characters acting completely opposite of how real people would react in the same situations. Continuity is important and that just ruined this film for me. Conan the barbarian is how to make a Howard story, Conan the Destroyer is not. This is a Conan the Destroyer.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Can't wait... Well... Sure I can!

    by LimpdickSherlock

    Kane will deliver, I say.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Agrees on: FRAZETTA design for CONAN!

    by LimpdickSherlock

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:04 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    CONAN THE DESTROYER features the worst ever cruelty to puppets.<p> When Arnie's riding on the back of the big monster at the end and he's ripping it's horn off. Ooh you see all the sinews tearing and it just looks really painful for the poor beastie. Ouch.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Daniel Day Lewis would make a nice Frazetta Conan

    by CodeName

    I think so. You have genius acting and brute all rolled into one.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Daniel Day Lewis as Conan?

    by Continentalop

    HP Lovecraft described him at least 6'2", and weighing over 210lbs (which was gigantic back in the days REH wrote his stories). I don't see DDL developing that kind of build.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:34 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    I love Conan the Barbarian too, but it sure as hell ain't no Howard story. What it is, is a great S&S movie, but with characters wholly unrecognizable as coming from Howard's imagination. In fact, change all the characters' names to something non-Howardian and it comes across as a very well-made if generic heroic fantasy yarn.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:34 p.m. CST

    you mean howard, right?

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:35 p.m. CST

    spud mcspud

    by Massawyrm 1

    Your interpretation of the TRAILER are way off, brother. He has ZERO magical/[psychic powers and has nothing but an almost brotherly affection for Rachel Hurd-Wood, which is why Bassett cast such a young looking girl - to try and keep romance OUT of the minds of audience members. Because you are correct, Kane is keenly asexual. VERY puritan. Oh, and he's grim as shit. Not a jovial lad in the slightest.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:36 p.m. CST

    re Conan casting

    by DocPazuzu

    Has to be an unknown. Any known actor would bring baggage into the role that the character frankly doesn't have room for. Conan has to be a star-making role, not a role for a star.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:36 p.m. CST

    konkrete590, how do real people react

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    in a fantasy movie?

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:36 p.m. CST

    DDL from Mohicans was pretty close to Conan

    by ebonic_plague

    And Cobra, that scene with Conan ripping off the vagina-mouthed monster's horn always freaked me out, for the exact reasons you describe. I can barely listen to Bolero anymore without getting grossed out. <p> (And yes, before someone nitpicks me... I know it wasn't REALLY Bolero, but it was damn close. No No-Prize for you.)

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:37 p.m. CST

    i don't want an arnold look a like

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    to play conan either. we need totally new blood

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:41 p.m. CST


    by ebonic_plague

    Actually, not always. Especially in cheap fantasy movies.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Daniel Craig for Conan

    by firewhale

    That was the first name that sprang into my mind.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:44 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    With all due respect, dude, I can't agree with you there. I love Last of the Mohicans and think DDL's great, but aside from running in the woods and having long black hair I'm not seeing the similarities. <p> I hate being such a purist because it makes me sound like AsimovLives but, dammit, I want a Howard Conan!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:46 p.m. CST

    Wait... Rachel Hurd-Wood?

    by ebonic_plague

    And that's a different girl than Evan Rachel Wood? Holy crap it is! Are they genetically manufacturing hot actresses now? I'd like to place an order for a Rachel Wood Howard model... I won't be needing the factory-installed "acting talent" option, however.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Thanks for clarifying Burroughs with...

    by MidnightMeatTrain

    ...(Edgar Rice). For a second, I thought Safron was an early century pulp writer.<p> That's like when you see this in a movie review or back of a DVD cover: Al Pacino(88 Minutes). Fucking douchebags.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:57 p.m. CST

    DocP, you mean there's more to Conan...

    by ebonic_plague

    ...than running in the woods with long hair? <p> Eh, kidding. I know he runs through deserts. <p> Naaaaah, I hear ya, an unknown is the best way to go, but I wonder what the actual chances are that we'd get a Conan movie starring an unknown. You know Philbrick is already compiling a list of squinty underwear models to send out offers on the role as soon as Variety reports the re-make. And the rest of the list is Vin Diesel. Actually, if he wasn't the most overexposed action star of the moment, I'd say that Gerard Butler would not be a HORRIBLE choice for Conan. But it's been a long time since I actually read any of the books, so I could be way off with that.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:59 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    If only there was another science fiction writer out there with the last name Burroughs...let me think, let me think. Hmmm. William S...maybe? Clearly, as evidenced by your response, not everyone is literary enough to know that I was discussing one of two great Borroughs. Especially since I never mentioned Tarzan or John Carter by name. Douchebags indeed.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 5:59 p.m. CST

    "Al Pacino(88 Minutes)"

    by DocPazuzu


  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:02 p.m. CST


    by CodeName

    DDL is 6'1". Put him on a protein regiment for six months, and I think you can get pretty close.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:33 p.m. CST

    I think it would take more than 6 months Codename

    by Continentalop

    It took Thomas Hayden Church 2 years to bulk up to play Sandman. And Sandman's physique is not nearly as imposing as Amra the Lion's. <P> Not saying DDL couldn't play him, but I think it would take a lot of work from him and be pointless to expect him to bulk up for such a "one-dimensional" character. I love Conan, but he isn't Hamlet or Willy Loman (thank God). <P> Personally, I agree that a newcomer should play Conan. Mel Gibson was at his best when he suddenly appeared as MaxRockatansky -you had no idea who he was and what he was capable of. Same with Clint as The Man With No Name or Daniel Craig as Bond (neither one was a big name before those star making roles). <P> My number one concern with Conan is you cast someone who is able to portray a completely amoral (by modern standards) man. NO ANGST, God damn it!

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:34 p.m. CST

    From "Red Nails":

    by DocPazuzu

    "He was almost a giant in stature, muscles rippling smoothly under his skin, which the sun had burned brown. . . . . His great shoulders were as broad as those of Olmec and more cleanly outlined, and his huge breast arched with a more impressive sweep into a hard waist . . . . He might have been an image of primal strength cut out of bronze . . . . Conan was a figure out of the dawn of time. . . ."

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Brock Lesnar should be in the next Conan movie

    by Continentalop

    Not as Conan but as the strangler Baal-Pteor.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:42 p.m. CST

    From "Rogues in The House":

    by DocPazuzu

    "...the primitive power of the man was evident. His mighty body and thick-muscled limbs combined the strength of a grizzly with the quickness of a panther. Under his tangled black mane his blue eyes blazed with unquenchable savagery."

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:45 p.m. CST

    "...Quickness that would put a leopard to shame..."

    by Continentalop

    I like Arnold, but that is one of the reasons he never worked as Conan for me - Quickness is not a feature I associate with Ahnold.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:52 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    Just look at his face and then at the face Frazetta painted of CONAN. Pretty spot on.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:56 p.m. CST

    "criminally under-seen" is the new

    by estacado1

    cool adjective to use these days. It's quickly becoming a cliche.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 6:57 p.m. CST

    I would agree with you uberman except for one thing

    by Continentalop

    The hair. Randy doesn't have the hair. <P> Lets be honest people, NO ONE will ever be a perfect Conan. <P> Except for me...

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Continentalop and DocPazuzu

    by CodeName

    Well, you guys made a good point. I'd have to agree that getting an unknown would be the best choice. What a hard role to cast for these days in the face of corporate Hollywood. How old is Conan supposed to be anyways? The descriptions given by DocPaz certainly makes me want to watch a Conan remake IF they could pull it off word for word. The literature certainly describes one of the most mysteriously charismatic characters ever that you'd want to see breathe onscreen, let alone talk.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 7:18 p.m. CST

    "Conan was a figure out of the dawn of time"

    by CodeName

    I hope the casting directors read the material seriously instead of going by a producer's suggestion, or nepotism.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 7:35 p.m. CST


    by Brian888

    "You seem to have missed the story in which Kane refers offhand to time he spent as a pirate. And the "partial" - and woefully incomplete - origin is used in this story as well. Seriously. Don't call bullshit on the film vs the Printed page until you've spent time with Bassett's vision." Point out that story, and I'll stand corrected. However, the only references I recall to Kane doing anything like that were in "The One Black Stain" in which Kane sailed with Francis Drake, making him a privateer, and a fleeting reference to a town-sacking that he led (presumably as part of some military skirmish) in "The Blue Flame of Vengeance." As to the Devil issue, ask yourself: Would it make any sense to insert the Christian Devil into something based on Lovecraft? I don't think so. REH's stuff (including Conan and Kane) isn't that far removed from the weird fiction Lovecraft was writing. I really don't think the concept fits there either.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Lots of Howard material free in public domain...

    by ReportAbuse

    Check out plusfifty-a-m.html and scroll down to the "H"s ... has some of his Conan and Kane stuff as well as a bunch of miscellaneous stories and his El Borak stories which I'd not heard of before. All public domain.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 9:21 p.m. CST

    I can't wait to see this!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I've waited over 20 years for a Solomon Kane movie. Tis a shame that most of the original fans of this character are no longer with us.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Looks good.

    by Rex_Nimrod

    When I saw the Soloman Kane trailer, I too was remined of Van Helsing, but I mean that in a GOOD way. I am a completely unashamed supporter of Van Helsing, aside from a couple of flaws(badly miscast Dracula, and a bit too much reliance on rope/wire swinging), I thought it was great. If Soloman Kane is anywhere near as much fun, I'm sure I'll love it.

  • Oct. 7, 2009, 11:58 p.m. CST

    With Kane

    by NippleEffect

    the darker skin the more evil<br> Sure there were light skinned bad guys, but they were stepping stones

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:24 a.m. CST


    by MidnightMeatTrain

    William S. Burroughs? Seriously? Who the fuck would ever lump him in with Howard, ER Burroughs, etc?<p> Nevertheless, I can't wait to see this.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 1:11 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    My guess? College kids who maybe haven't read or heard of one or the other. It was just an ass covering exercise trying to stem the inevitible "Massa, William S. Burroughs was a BEAT writer, not a pulp writer. Idiot." Instead I got the inevitable "I'm smarter than that, so no need to write to the youngin's," reply. Six of one...

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 1:23 a.m. CST


    by MidnightMeatTrain

    Fair enough. But anyone who's literate enough to even know who WS Burroughs is and comes to this site has to be aware of the early century pulp writers. If they don't, fuck 'em.<p> I think this may boil down to the fact that you're just a nicer guy than I am. I hate pandering.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Conti - No angst Conan

    by spud mcspud

    Angst ain't a bad thing in the Hyperborean Era - PROVIDED it's handled the way Milius did with CONAN THE BARBARIAN. CONAN's been searching for the guys who killed his parents and slaughtered his village all his life - the difference is, no emo pussy whining or heartfelt, actor-wanky pretension-heavy long speeches. Arnie just looked grim, gritted his teeth, clenched his jaw, and only really lets loose when James Earl Jones is right there in front of him - and then only one line: "You killed my father! You killed my mother!". All the angst you could possibly need.<P> And, of course, the classic scene where they're readying Valeria's pyre, and Conan stares at her body, grim as death. The sorceror asks the thief why he cries:<P> "He's Cimmerian. He cannot cry. I cry for him."<P> Now THAT is how to do angst in a badass movie: make it stoic, make it heartfelt, but most of all, make it SHORT.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:57 a.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    Thanks for clearing that up. I've been hoping the other reviews I've read have got th3e wrong end of the stick ever since reading them - because all I want in a Solomon Kane performance are three things: (1) Stoicism, a very grim demeanour. (2) NO SPECIAL POWERS. Kane's a badass because he practices and trains, not because a radioactive Puritan bit him on the finger or whatever. (3) NO WOMEN. He's a proper hardcore Puritan to the core, whomakes today's Straightedgers look like Roman orgy-goers.<P> So, thanks for the reassurance. Now get MISSUSWYRM to write a review, dammit! She's GOOD!

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 5:57 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    damn you all. I've now got visions of Conan shooting up before going out to bugger a mugwump.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:12 a.m. CST

    Sweet. I'm looking forward to it.

    by Mr Nicholas

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Alexander Skarsgard is My pick for Conan

    by iluvsyfy

    Shur Nuff

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Solomon Kane is a piece of shit

    by tachy1000

    I've seen it. OMG what a disappointment. I just don't get the praise here.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 8:26 a.m. CST

    The Rock as Conan

    by mojoman69

    Hell , he already did it in Scopion King

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Orcus is reading the Solomon Kane stuff now

    by orcus

    Orcus is still in the process of going through the compendium of stories and this Origin story just does not fit. Orcus just got the vibe that he is more religious fanatic where his faith in God sustains him to carry out bringing evildooers to justice

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by just pillow talk

    If I were to start reading Solomon Kane, where do I start? Is there an actual order to the stories?<p>mojoman - no thanks to Rock as Conan.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 10:32 a.m. CST


    by orcus

    Orcus is reading this compendium:<p><p>ISBN: 978-0-345-46150-6<p><p>All of REH stuff is in compendium form now and the above book is one of them. Orcus read the 3 volume Conan set (AWESOME) and Orcus is gearing up to read his Brak Mak Morn (sp?) book. It seems this REH series puts out stuff by the date they were published and they also have story fragments that were never finished as well as drafts of stories too. Mighty fine reading if you ask Orcus. If you are so inclined, you might want to track down the 12 (or was it 13) volume set from the 80's of all the conan storries which has stories that were finished be Sprague DeCamp. In vol 1 there was the story "Thing in the Crypt" which was integrated into the Arnie Conan Movie. Granted, this wasn't a "pure" REH story hence not in the compendium, but it is a good read. Orcus rambled on again didn't he?

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST


    by orcus

    There doesn't seem to be any particular order to read the Solomon Kane stuff

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:10 a.m. CST

    just pillow talk

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    Almost all of that pulp/weird fiction was serialized or short one-offs. Rarely is there an all encompassing arc to follow. Mostly just random adventures. You can read them in chronological order but it doesn't diminish the experience if you don't.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:11 a.m. CST


    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    Orcus said that in his follow up. Don't mind me.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Here's My Review

    by arctor

    Solomon Kane is what Van Helsing should have been. The world premiere was last night during the Midnight Madness screenings at TIFF, a packed house, beach balls sailing through the air like a Jimmy Buffet concert... After a few quick words from director Michael J. Bassett and star James Purefoy the film began with Kane slaughtering Spaniards in North Africa ca 1600, he and his crew of ruthless scoundrels hack and slash their way into a castle looking for gold. It's when they get in that their problems begin, a long hallway full of mirrors, demons lurking inside each of them...Kane makes his way through a door to the throne room and he can only listen to the screams of his men when the door closes behind him. He doesn't seem to mind much, just flashing a ruthless scowl. Luckily there is a big pile of gold in the centre of the chamber. Kane kneels and greedily (and ruthlessly) runs his hand over a large gold cross and lets coins fall through his fingers...weird sounds and black particles start swirling around him, coalescing in to a cloaked figure sitting on a throne, it's face hidden deep within it's cowl. Kane ruthlessly demands to know who the creature is and is told that he is a servant of the devil, that Kane's soul is damned and it's time to go to hell. Kane is having none of it and, after a bit of sword work, jumps out a window. A year later we're in England at an abbey. Kane has sought sanctuary there and is ruthlessly trying to repent his many sins - if he takes another life his soul is lost forever. If you've seen the trailer and a movie or two in your life the rest of the film will be pretty obvious to you - meeting a nice family, something bad happens to them forcing Kane to again become the man he used to be, fight fight fight, defeat, escape, fight fight fight, shocking revelations, fight fight fight, lights come up and you go home. While the film moves through all the standard and predictable story moments it somehow escapes this valid criticism. The obvious 'surprises' still surprise and the expected outcome still earned a cheer from the crowd. It's unfortunate that Solomon Kane should suffer the comparisons to Van Helsing, since films like Van Helsing have mined the works of Robert E. Howard so ruthlessly. Where this film tops most of it's predecessors is in it's energy and well, ruthlessness. When the 'bad thing' happens to the nice family it's not just a device to move things in the right direction, it's brutal, savage and people die, people that don't normally die in films like this. Kane is an ambitious film that is surprisingly successful in many ways. There is a thin and tasty slice of ham layered throughout Solomon Kane, the filmmakers know they're in Pulp territory and make the most of it, for better or worse depending on your tastes. Many of the more winking moments could have been a bit tighter, some scenes linger for a beat or two longer than they should, but the audience seemed to enjoy them and laughed at all the right moments. There is plenty of sometimes brutal and inventive action, if on a slightly smaller scale than similar films with larger budgets. The performances are all good, James Purefoy delivers a strong, tortured (and ruthless) Kane, a surprisingly sober Pete Postlethwaite, Alice Krige (always nice to see her on screen), Max von Sydow, and Rachel Hurd-Wood from 'Peter Pan' and 'Perfume'. Made for ~$45 million, Solomon Kane puts every dollar on screen, the sets are extensive and detailed, the costumes are fantastic, great make-up and the VFX are solid if not spectacular. The landscapes are stark but beautiful, Kane was filmed in the Czech Republic and England, and set during winter, the air in every scene filled with falling snow (fake snow is one of the worst things you can put on screen and Kane does so generously - and ruthlessly), it makes for a great atmosphere but to anyone who has actually seen real snow the lack of convincing snow on the ground will be annoying. I don't know if Solomon Kane has been picked up for distribution yet, but like last years 'Outlander' I think it deserves a wide release, it wont be a huge commercial success, but I think it could perform above anyone's expectations and do very well on DVD.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Not to be a know-it-all and correct you Orcus

    by Continentalop

    But you did spell the name wrong. It is BRAN MAK MORN, not BRAK. <P> And Order of stories don't matter. One of the worse things to happen to REH characters was editors and fans efforts to make some sort of chronological order. They work best as read in order written IMO; much like Doyle's Holmes stuff, where Watson jumps around in the career of Sherlock.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:35 a.m. CST

    no fucking wrestlers or fighters as conan!

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    fuck that shit. get a real actor

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:38 a.m. CST

    read reh in any order you want

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    howard did not write any of his stories with a specific chronology in mind. if you read them in the order they were published they jump around in the continuity of the characters lives. this goes for conan or kane or who-ever. the stories were put in order after the fact by other writers.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:44 a.m. CST

    NippleEffect, your dark skin comment is bullshit

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    "the darker skin the more evil Sure there were light skinned bad guys, but they were stepping stones" <p> i don't think you've read solomon kane. what about the evil german land baron that kane goes after? what about the very white pirates he fights? what about the french werewolf? your talking out your ass.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Very cool

    by Cobbio

    I'd never heard of Solomon Kane before this, but thanks the for introduction, Massa.<p> Good to see a small-budget, ass-kicking film get its due. Maybe this'll be a little like "District 9" for the horror/action genre?<p> I'll check it out. Definitely.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Orcus stand corrected Continentalop

    by orcus

    Orcus and his damn typos :)

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Javier bardem would make a great Frazetta Conan

    by Stalkeye

    lookit dem deep rooted peepers of his and tell me that he can't kick ass as the Cimmerian.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:33 p.m. CST

    thanks chaps...

    by just pillow talk

    That's what I kind of figured, that the order didn't matter, but I just wanted confirmation. Think I'll have to pick up a few copies soon, or maybe for Christmas.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Arnie should have stopped after the first Conan

    by Stalkeye was CTD one of the worst 80's films I have seen. (and there were plenty of 'em)Bad acting,cheap ass set pieces and...*GASP* Wilt Chamberlin?!!?WHATDEFUCK were they thinking? Oh, and them there's the very unsexy Grace Jones who was as useful as a generic prop piece.If this shit is out on Blu-Ray when I can't even get escape from new york on BD, then it's a fukkin crime.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 12:55 p.m. CST

    wasn't conan the destroyer G rated?

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    yikes. i saw it in the theater.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Milius' CONAN

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    I love it even though it's not really Howard's Conan. But boy that thing needs the Criterion treatment or something. I would love to see a cleaned up remastered version.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Does he fight bloodthirsty negroes like the original?

    by AhQ

    Literally 2/3rds of all REH stories I've read are about a badass hero vs. hordes of psychotic negros (sometimes Azns and Arabs thrown in for good measure).

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Not all the time ahq

    by lprothro

    ...sometimes they are substituted with psychotic "Snake-People".

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 1:48 p.m. CST


    by Continentalop

    "Literally 2/3rds of all REH stories I've read are about a badass hero vs. hordes of psychotic negros (sometimes Azns and Arabs thrown in for good measure)." <P> Well, first off that is patently wrong. Yes, he did have his heroes fight negroes and Arabs, but 66% of the time? Hardly. <P> His heroes normally fought AGAINST the forces of civilization. The Romans, the Germans, The French, The Empire of Turan, and nobles from the Hypborian age. <p> REH's heroes were men (and women) who pushed for barbarism. They were either like El Borak, who went to a barbaric land because he fit in, or like Conan who sometimes travelled to barbaric lands and confronted other savages and barbarians.<P> For every story you say were REH had his heroes fighting psychotic negroes, I can name three or four where they fought Picts, Romans (practically all of Bran Mak Morn was fighting the Romans), or any other ethnic group.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:14 p.m. CST part of Conan the Destroyer:

    by just pillow talk

    Fighting the wizard turned lizard? in the glass room. Fucking classic.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:22 p.m. CST

    I thought the princess was the best part of Conan Destroyer

    by D.Vader

    The princess's sideboob I mean. <p> What? She's underage? <p> So sue me, so was I when I first saw her.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:24 p.m. CST

    That was actually in one of the stories

    by orcus

    They seemed to lift dribs and drabs and try to shoehorn things in. BTW, was Ahq expecting political correctness from fiction written in the 1920's 1930's

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Yeah about that princess

    by orcus

    Did she fall asleep looking like she was sucking on something?

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:30 p.m. CST

    I Never understood all that hate thrown at destroyer

    by lprothro

    It was genuinely entertaining, and flowed a lot like the Marvel comics and Sprague De Camp stuff. Not to mention it had a few monsters thrown in for good measure.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:31 p.m. CST

    This "origin" sounds too much like Constantine

    by D.Vader

    And based on what I've been reading, not too much like REH's short origin for the character. From what I can gather, Kane originally may have done some bad things as a pirate, but was committed to God when he saw the darkness. <p> This movie's origin seems to suggest that he only turns to God's side out of fear of death and Hell, instead of a desire to protect pple from the creature of the dark. <p> Did I get any of that wrong?

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Racism was invented 40 years ago

    by Liberal_Warrior

    I know fuk-all about REH, so I aint gonna comment on him, but for some people to claim that it can't be racism because that was 'the times' and them's were the 'mores' of 'those times', is fukken motarded ass-pickle shit! <p> By that reasoning every one who lived 80/90 years ago was a racist because 'them's were the times!' Like the word racism was just invented. People knew what racism was back then! Either you were or you weren't it had monkeyshit-all to do with the times! Either you treated people fairly and like an equal human being or you didn't. The one thing you can safely argue is that there was less understanding about the races back then.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:53 p.m. CST

    most all literature from before 1950

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    has racist under/over tones. ever read bram stoker? he is ten times more racist that REH. racism is still very prevelent today, people just hide it better than they did 50 or 100 years ago. it has everything to do with the times.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:54 p.m. CST

    p.s. REH is not racist

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    he is just not Politically Correct

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST

    conan fought hoards of picts,

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    who are irish

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3 p.m. CST

    Oh the racist stuff again.

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors


  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Hotscot is a cunt

    by Miguel De Barioz

    Red Sonia is a great charcter - perhaps your are only a make-believe fan of Robert Howards. My Cousin has got this movie on DVD in Russian - no body in my village speaks Russian but when you love Robert Howards films sooo much it doesn't matter what they say - Who gives a fuck what they talk about man! Pleanty of killing - Loads of plundering and a bit of fucking!

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:13 p.m. CST

    LastOfTheV8Interceptors, award for

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    the most pointless post of the day!

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Nerd Rage is a cunt too

    by Miguel De Barioz

    Maybe you are not a real Robert Howards fan either like your friend Hotscot

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Ha! I agree Nerd.

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    But seriously, some of these people would pull the race card out if the Pecan Sandies were displayed more prominently than the Oreos in the supermarket.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Glad to hear some good buzz for this film

    by strosmer

    Hoping it gets a wide distribution. Only this year did I discover who REH was (though I've been familiar with his creations all my life). I recommend seeing "The Whole Wide World" for those unfamiliar with him. Vincent D'Onofrio did a great portrayal of the pulp writer.<p>I recently bought the first compendium of his Conan writings and am loving it. A big budget, faithfully rendered Conan movie would be the shit. I can also see the challenge in casting a proper Conan for a new movie. You need to match the physique while not having a complete bonehead in the role.<p>I haven't read any Kane yet, but am intrigued by the character from what I've researched. If this movie were to get a decent following, it could pave the way for more REH adaptations. Here's hoping for the best.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    LastOfTheV8Interceptors, you are absolutely correct

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    i just want to defend howard because he's one of my favorite writers

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Miguel De Barioz, red sonja is not a REH character

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    'red sonia' appears in one REH story and is not the character from the movie or comics. the 'red sonja' character from the comics and movie were not created by REH. i am not a cunt, but i do get cunt. how about you?

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Solomon Kane 2

    by Miguel De Barioz

    Hey guys howabout we start the petition to get the sequel made! Soloman Kane - Thomas Jane The Girl - Megan Fox The Witch of Cantabaliath - Dan Shanks Sabos, the blackman - CGI (or puppet)

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Mr Nerd - Range

    by Miguel De Barioz

    Sorry i didn't mean to upset you - We only use the cunt word when we are really angry - I get so passionate about Robert Howards that I got all angry with you I am sorry

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 3:53 p.m. CST

    kantos kan

    by Automaton Overlord

    Speaking of James Purefoy and Edgar Rice Burroughs. Purefoy has just been cast as Kantos Kan in John Carter of Mars! He's getting quite a pulp adventure resume together

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 4:04 p.m. CST

    John Carter...

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

    .. should start shooting soon right? I'm really curious about the look of that flick since they seem to be pretty unapologetically anti-Frazetta. Which sounds like madness to me... but I want it to be good anyway.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Yes, 80's Sword and the Sorcerer!

    by swordsorceryadventure

    I agree with HarryCalder. The Sword and the Sorcerer is the 80's standard for pulp action adventure and really the standard for fun these films should deliver. I miss the days when Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger and films like S&S were regular movie fare. Excited to see if SK and the S&S sequel Tales of the ancient empire measure up to S&S. I have little hope for Conan but even if its terrible its better than nothing which is what those Scorpion King and pathfinder films were. Drek.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 4:38 p.m. CST


    by Automaton Overlord

    should be shooting in 2010, the Utah location stuff anyway. here's a great link for JCOM news, they stay really up to date.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 4:58 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Liberal_Warrior I read your post twice and still haven't a clue what you're trying to say.<p> But on the subject of RED SONJA may I just say Christina Hendricks and suggest you red-blooded barbarians follow this crazy long link to a whole world of gargantuan breasted redheads...<p>

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Cobra--Kai, i know

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    Liberal_Warrior, seems to think that people in 1910 should act like people do in 2010.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:27 p.m. CST

    Milius' Conan set the goddamn standard

    by Star Hump

    for sword and sorcery in the 80s, not that awful Sword and the Sorceror movie, you dimwit. Second place? Clash of the Titans. Smarten up.<p> And stop with the casting choices . Javier Bardem as Conan? Are you fucking kidding me? He's a shlub. The Rock? Conan is a Northman (Cimmerian), not a fucking half-black Somoan for Christsakes.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Star Hump, uh, dood

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    there is no such thing as a cimmerian. so, there won't be any cimmerians playing conan.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:51 p.m. CST

    oh yeah

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    and the sword and the sorcerer rules!

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:53 p.m. CST

    best movie demon, sorcerer ever

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    in that movie!

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:54 p.m. CST

    he was played by the guy who played Bull

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

    in the night court tv show

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 6:54 p.m. CST

    woo hoo...

    by Nerd_Rage_Retard_Strength

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Star Hump, REH envisioned the Cimmerians

    by Continentalop

    As being the ancestors of the ancient Gaels, therefore Scottish and Irish. <P> As for the actual Cimmerians, they were a tribe of nomads who lived in Russia and the Ukraine, making them either Slavs or, if you follow their migration, related to the Scythians from Iran, making them probably related to the Persians. <P> The were not Northmen.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 7:15 p.m. CST


    by Evil Chicken

    I can't wait to see this one on the big screen. Bottom line.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 8:16 p.m. CST

    The 3 volume Conan set...

    by orcus

    Pretty much has the regional and racial breakdown for the Hyborean Age. For those who want to check it out. It;s all part of the same series of REH compendiums that Orcus mentioned above

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Speaking of Hendricks...

    by DocPazuzu of my sister's thespian friends (bastard!) is her fiancee and she's actually invited to a party of theirs in NYC tonight.

  • Oct. 8, 2009, 11:27 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    I read every single CONAN novel before I saw Milius's CONAN. WHile good, Arnold was never the embodiment of what CONAN is and I remember being somewhat let down that the movie was so tame compared to the source material. As for Conan, Arnold was tanned and sculpted with a face that did not inspire fear or wrath. He was also incredibly slow. CONAN is fast, ruthless and shows the scars of battle. He would not have a 21st century gym rat body, but rather a aura of danger that Arnold never had (except for the 1st Terminator movie). I like Milius's Conan very much, but it did not set the bar. The real, true CONAN movie has not been made yet.

  • Oct. 9, 2009, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Voyeurism does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Doc, I know she's your sister but could you convince her to initiate a threesome with Hendricks and her fiancee and tape it using a hidden camera and then email the footage to me?<p> Be a buddy?

  • Oct. 12, 2009, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Ther more Orcus reads

    by orcus

    There does to seem to be an order to the stories, nothing in the line of interconnecting events it's just that some characters and events are referenced to. It won't take away from the enjoyment but it will clearup a few things

  • Feb. 17, 2010, 9:26 a.m. CST


    by Darth Scourge

    Saw this at a preview today. As a die-hard fan of R.E. Howard's stories, I've been waiting for this film. And it's damn good. Purefoy is great in the title role, and the fight scenes are suitably visceral. This is the most entertaining R.E. Howard adaptation since Schwarzenegger first took up Conan's sword in 1982.

  • Feb. 18, 2010, 11:41 a.m. CST

    No, QcoIQh

    by orcus

  • Feb. 18, 2010, 12:35 p.m. CST

    find 2for2true QcoIQh

    by just pillow talk

    and have him stab you in the mouth with a #2 pencil.<p>You'll be a better man for it.

  • Feb. 22, 2010, 12:19 p.m. CST

    The shitheel will not escape teh watchfull eye of Orcus

    by orcus

    The other eye is watching the Olympics

  • April 2, 2010, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Solomon Kane screening in Newport Beach, CA

    by Garfeimao

    While we wait for a US distribution deal, going to film festivals to see this film is all that's open to us at the moment. So woohoo to Newport Beach Film Festival for finding and bringing this film in. It will be screening not once, but twice at the end of April.

  • April 3, 2010, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Orcus can't wait!

    by orcus

    For NYC

  • May 4, 2010, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Shit movie

    by PornKing

    No idea what you guys are smoking. This movie is straight to dvd material. Van Helsing looks like a masterpiece in comparison.