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Harry's DVD Picks & Peeks Middle Weeks of Sept: Werewolf, Ash, Tall Man, Chucky, Zombie Sex & more!

Hey folks, Harry here with the latest double set catchup column of the year. This one was caused to some work I had to do in Los Angeles which took a working week out of my life. Sorry about that. Just trying to get some cool stuff that I can tell you about eventually. Very exciting excitement I assure you. Anyway, There’s a lot here. I’m beginning FANTASTIC FEST activities tomorrow – so I’ll get back to ya soon enough with updates of a Fantastic variety! As usual the pics and titles link to Amazon where you can purchase or gain additional knowledge of all the titles below. If you do pick something up, it goes to help support this column which I’ve been doing semi-consistently for nearly a half decade now. Jesus that’s a long time. Here ya go… Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

1.5% of the franchise’s potential is revealed in this movie. Those are the moments that make you smile and hear the word cool in your brain. Sadly, those moments are few and far apart in this atrocious limp dick of a Wolverine movie. Only for those that can stomach shit.

As great a film as AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON is… is how great the transfer is – and just as importantly is the inclusion of the feature length documentary BEWARE THE MOON. Fucking Awesome! This was a fan made documentary that was so good, Universal bought it for the Blu Ray and folks… talk about obsessive attention to detail… dude. They interview The STEADICAM OPERATOR! Seriously! And it’s cool! It pains me that nothing has topped this film since 1981. For that perfect mix of horror, comedy, gore and beauty. The film is perfect. And one of those titles that makes you happy home entertainment exists!

I have a soft spot for VAN HELSING. It’s Saturday Morning Cereal accompaniment with a swingin’ Frankenstein Monster! Crazy hot vampiric harpie bitches. And some crazy gas powered crossbow that would have been the most badass thing in existence at this time. Gorgeous transfer, and a lot of fun to watch with kids.

ARMY OF DARKNESS (Screwhead Blu Ray Edition)
Awesome! Just Awesome! While it is my least favorite of the 3 iterations of Evil Deadness – mainly because it is more hokey than all the others – but in terms of quotable lines – this fucker is king! Crazy awesome dialogue for Mr Campbell to chew and spit. It’s really damn great!

One of the great John Ford films. But because it doesn’t have Wayne or Fonda – it isn’t as popular. Nevermind the fact that it is widely regarded as one of his greatest films. Well, now… at long last it comes to DVD. Rejoice and discover.

You know. Putting together a complete run of PHANTASM films isn’t easy – what with the various distribution rights, but I believe this completes the run on DVD. I think I have them all now. And the only way to watch the series is in a lump! Because they all beautifully tie together… with an increasing size and scope that is unique in horror series filmmaking. Absolutely love them! Wish this was a Blu Ray.

The film that predicted a Black President would bring cataclysm to America – long before Fox was banking on it. This is the one without the oil riggers, but instead with Tea Leoni. Pick your poison. I’ll revisit this on Blu Ray. But I didn’t get a screener of this disc.

MISERY (Blu Ray)
The true story of my marriage. Heh. Just kidding. Yoko doesn’t keep hobbling me to type at a keyboard. It’s to provide her with constant adulation and worship on a minute to minute basis. So it isn’t all the nightmare that Stephen King makes it out to be. And she’s way hotter than Annie Wilkes, though she is a fanatical fan of a crazy silly romance pop novel series… And it’s only 3 times a year she breaks out the beam and the sledge – but she loves me, I know it. Its true love, and love hurts… I learned that from the Moroder release of METROPOLIS. Anyway – this was another that I did not receive a screener for. So no comment. Hope it rocks though.

HERO (Blu Ray)
One of the infuriating releases today with a shitty option for the original audio, but the featured treatment for the god-awful dub. Great movie, fucked over by a shitty release on a beautiful format.

The best of the more seriously scary versions of Chucky. But soon, they’ll remake this with Jeff Mahler in the overalls. I know he’s a bit short to play Chucky. But he is a mean jig dancer. This Blu Ray is excellent. TONS of extras: Disc 1: Widescreen Feature Film Blu-ray **Audio Commentary with Alex Vincent, Catherine Hicks and "Chucky" designer Kevin Yagher **Audio Commentary with Producer David Kirschner and Screenwriter Don Mancini **Select Scene Chucky Commentaries **Chucky's Thoughts **The Advantages of Being Chucky **Chucky on Filmmaking **Up close and personal with Chucky **Evil Comes in Small Packages **The Birth of Chucky **Creating the Horror **Unleashed **Chucky: Building a Nightmare **A Monster Convention **Vintage Featurette **Introducing Chucky: The Making of Child's Play **Chucky's Back Bitches **Designer Toy

For every set of new parents there is a perfect horror film. Are you expecting, know somebody that is expecting or thinking of having a kid. Then look no further for your shower gift than this absolutely perfect “worst thing ever”! Seriously. Once you begin to actually get the movie – it just nose dives into icky fuck fuck that’s disgusting ewwwwwwwwww prank call fuck me they didn’t holy ACK! Seriously – it’s that fucked up. It’s like catching your mother masturbating with the Sybian. That’s right. You just can’t look away. It is mesmerizing. And the sort of shit you’ll tell friends about as they go… “AAAAAAACK! NO NO NO NO SHUT UP! YOU’RE FUCKING DISGUSTING!!! EWWWWW!” So in otherwords, it’s kinda perfect!

One of last year’s delights from FANTASTIC FEST – about a hot Zombie you keep chained up to fuck with your friends. Yes, it goes there. And they discuss the hygienic issues intrinsic to that dumbshittery. More ruleage!

DRUNKEN MASTER 2 is a work of unbridled genius. This release is DOG SHIT! It only has the U.S. dub. Seriously. And the U.S. Dub hate shit for soundtrack, music, etc. This is a fucking travesty of epic proportions. DO NOT PURCHASE! Shit like this shouldn’t exist in this format.

While the audio is nowhere near as good as it should be, they at least have the original audio. This disc is passable. Which is actually a way of saying the other two releases thus far were so badly handled that I’d say this ain’t so bad. Great movie though. Love me some blind Kitano.

The best of the Asian releases this week. IRON MONKEY is a stunningly wonderful lyrical martial arts film that is actually magic. I remember this was the first film I watched with Guillermo Del Toro at his house and he asked me if I wanted to masturbate. I did, but I told him no. I think had I masturbated, he’d never have left Austin. But he’s gone now, and I cry for hours everyday. When I watch IRON MONKEY on Blu Ray – you don’t need to pull it out. The film is better than masturbation. It’s purely genius!
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION Motion Picture Collection (Blu Ray)
This completes your Theatrical STAR TREK collection, until the new film hits soon enough. The Next Generation films widely vary in theatrical quality. BUT – it is a must have. I kinda like the first two, I’m in-different to the third and NEMESIS is the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL bad. I look forward to digging into this set on the otherside of FANTASTIC FEST!

I’ve gotten through the first 2 of the 7 discs of this set – and man. It is so good. Watching AMOK TIME in 1080p. Well, it’s crazy awesome on the big screen. Hell, I was watching that episode with Apollo and realized that Kirk is definitely Christian. There’s a line that proves it. I’m just starting to explore the discs, but there’s like 20 hours of awesome on this Blu Ray set – and some of the best episodes and some of the most deliriously wacky episodes. But just getting through these first two discs have me dying for JJ’s on Blu.

An unredeemable horndog is visited by the ghosts of three girlfriends on the eve of his brother’s wedding – to show him his past, present and miserable future in an attempt to make him love love more than any man could ever love love. Sniffle. A heart breakingly original film. I mean, it’s amazing. How’d they come up with the device, the story beats. It’s truly humbling. BTW – I’m kidding. This is a pretty damn mediocre waste of existence. Avoid.

Brilliance. This is a happy film. The sort of film that makes things better. A desert island flick. Can’t wait to revisit this disc in October with some friends. Because this is a movie to watch with friends and to delight in.

All 3 of the original, oscar-winning, brilliant AARDMAN Wallace & Gromit shorts of A GRAND DAY OUT, THE WRONG TROUSERS and A CLOSE SHAVE. Well… in addition, they have a new Wallace & Gromit short called A MATTER OF LOAF AND DEATH, which features our heroes as epic bakers. Trust in Aardman and realize that in Blu Ray the quality is UNREAL. Just beautiful and tactile. I love it. I also love how adult and pervasive these films are. Now, if Dreamworks Animation would just release the Wererabbit on Blu! That’d be amazing!

HOT FUZZ (Blu Ray)
I love this film. And there’s never an end to the extras – it literally feels like it goes on forever and that’s a good thing. Exhaustive and beyond. Gorgeous treatment of a movie I love. HOT FUZZ may not have zombies, but it has an evil secret society. This film feels like a live action Wallace and Gromit in many ways. Which is another way of saying it is perfect!

One of the year’s overlooked jewels. It amazes me that we still exist in a world where quality black humor is just sadly not as popular as my own hunger for it. But I will tell you this – if you get it, you’ll love it. If you don’t… there really is nothing that can be done for you. You’re pretty hopeless. Entire realms of laughter are seemingly closed to you. Jody Hill nailed this – as did Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Anna Faris, Michael Pena the Yuan brothers and everyone else! It’s great! This will be seen often in this household.

PIERROT LE FOU – Criterion (Blu Ray)
If you do not know Jean-Paul Belmondo – click on the above and just go ahead and take the leap. Then, you’ll be tracking down a hard to find jewel of his career called LE MAGNIFIQUE – which is the PERFECT double feature for PIERROT LE FOU by Jean-Luc Godard. Jean Paul plays a married man, torturously bored with his life – so he decides to run off with the babysitter, always an excellent plan, and they decide to live an incredibly whimsical life where they begin a series of lives where they start with nothing and live according to some magical genre change. There’s action, laughs, romance and more. The cinema on display is riveting and the film rose 5 levels of awesome by me watching it on Blu Ray. GORGEOUS transfer. As is the norm with Criterion thus far. So check out the last romantic couple!

D.A. Pennebaker’s amazing documentary recording the amazing performances from the MONTEREY POP FESTIVAL has been given an incredible treatment by the film lovers at Criterion. With electrifying performances by Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Otis Redding and a numbingly brilliant performance by Ravi Shankar… this is a truly great release. So – what did Criterion do for this release? Here ya go: * High-Definition Digital Transfers of All Three Films * Soundtrack Featuring 5.1 Mixes by Eddie Kramer * Presented in Dolby Digital and DTS-HD Master Audio * Two Hours of Outtake Performances * Audio Commentaries by Pennebaker, Lou Adler, Charles Shaar Murray, & More * Video Interviews with Adler and Pennebaker, and Phil Walden * Audio Interviews with John Phillips, Derek Taylor, Cass Elliot and David Crosby * Photo Essay by photographer Elaine Mayes * Original Theatrical Trailers and Radio Spots * Monterey Pop Festival Scrapbook * Essays by Critics Armond White, Michael Lydon, Barney Hoskyns, and David Fricke

I’m not a fan of the animation style, but I can still say the story does it for me – as does the great cast led by Evan Rachel Wood, Luke Wilson, James Garner, Danny Glover, Mark Hamill, Ron Perlman and David Fucking Cross! Some people are adding this to the heap of material they think Cameron stole from. I just keep remembering that I read Cameron’s treatment around 1998 or 1999. So unless this and that other flick were sending their plotlines around – I doubt seriously it is anything other than the fact that world creation is more easily played with in a computer – and initial contact conflict stories are most likely the route to go. Which in us folks, we relate to the discovery of America. Because… well, the culture the world found their was unlike any other on the planet. Anyway – this is a solid film, very entertaining – I just wish the style was different.

GOJIRA (Blu Ray)
I love GODZILLA – and I find it amazing that this DVD is running around with the title GOJIRA, as it makes me so proud of the advances in American culture that the Japanese way of saying GODZILLA is gaining marketing status here. Our world must be changing. If you’ve never seen the original Japanese film, the version with no Raymond Burr – then you have missed out on seeing a very serious version of the Giant Monster film genre. GOJIRA is an amazing 1954 creation of Ishiro Honda and his team. This Blu Ray is absolutely exceptional! Highest recommendation!

Unbelievably great set. This is a great sampling of some of the best of Paul Newman’s career. Here’s what you get: Disc 1: The Long Hot Summer Disc 2: Rally 'Round the Flag Boys Disc 3: From the Terrace Disc 4: Exodus Disc 5: The Hustler - Collector's Edition Disc 1 Disc 6: The Hustler - Collector's Edition Disc 2 Disc 7: Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man Disc 8: What a Way To Go! Disc 9: Hombre Disc 10: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - Collector'sl Edition Disc 1 Disc 11: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - Collector's Edition Disc 2 Disc 12: Towering Inferno - Special Edition Disc 1 Disc 13: Towering Inferno - Special Edition Disc 2 Disc 14: Buffalo Bill and the Indians Disc 15: Quintet Disc 16: The Verdict - Collector's Edition Disc 1 Disc 17: The Verdict - Collector's Edition Disc 2 That said, much of this has found its way on DVD before, so if you have them, you won’t find additional extras and bells & whistles – but if for some insane reason you haven’t dove into the career of Paul Newman, this is an excellent set – that comes with 136 page book with images and quotes from Paul Newman along with quotes from his movies. It is a very handsome and worthwhile set to discover or revel in the extraordinary life of Paul Newman!
That’s it for the past two weeks. Again, I apologize on the tardiness of these two columns, but I’m also letting you know that there’s a good chance that next week’s column will be late due to FANTASTIC FEST duties and attendance. But when it does happen, I’ll be talking about the amazing WIZARD OF OZ Blu Ray, MONSTERS VS ALIENS, CELEBRATION: THE VIDEO COLLECTION, the 2003 TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE BluRay (with my head in 1080p!), SUPERMAN/BATMAN: PUBLIC ENEMIES which is great!, the wonderful AWAY WE GO, ULTRAMAN: Complete Series, LABYRINTH (Blu), THE DARK CRYSTAL (Blu), HE-MAN: The complete series, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE, SNAKES ON A PLANE (Blu), THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS complete collection, THE NEW YORK RIPPER (Blu) which is just awesomely foul, 42nd Street Forever 5: The Alamo Drafthouse Edition, THE HANGING WOMAN, HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (Blu), DAUGHTER OF DARKNESS, LUCIFERA: DEMON LOVER, THE STORM RIDERS and more!

Readers Talkback
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  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:46 a.m. CST

    iron monkey

    by dalbatron

    can you please clarify the meaning of you comments, harry????

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:46 a.m. CST

    CGI flubber

    by Bouncy X

    so i watched the extras for Wolverine and was surprised to find out CGI was used during that boxing match with Blob. that one top view shot of logan punching into his stomach, his chest is all CGI there. considering how bad his claws turned out, i was surprised they had some that actually looked good and fooled me. oh and cue the person/people who will say "i could tell, you're a moron if you couldn't" or something to that effect. because comic book geeks can't stand when someone likes something they did not.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:46 a.m. CST

    Thanx harry for the topic

    by ominus

    deadgirl seems interesting.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Gojira Subtitles

    by unkempt_sock

    Harry, did they fix the subtitles on the blu ray disc? Cause they were damn near unreadable on the DVD re-release of the same disc.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:57 a.m. CST

    Harry, Van Helsing is utter poop and you know it is

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Sommers tried to destory our beloved Universal monsters in this turd of a film. The man is beyond redemption for that.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:05 a.m. CST

    you wonder why Observe and Report is overlooked...

    by CHUDfucker

    yet you bury it in this column near the bottom and use the smallest image you could find. I had to scroll back through the list cause I missed it it was so fucking small. Take the time to make all the covers the same size in stead of copy pasting from

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Van Helsing-a solid B movie

    by j2talk

    where is the sequel? sure its not a great film, but it is certainly more watchable than say this years "best picture" Slumdog Millionaire. Much rather see more of these made than say another film from Aptow and company....

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Why would you look forward to JJ's Star Trekwars?

    by kwisatzhaderach

    And yes, Nemesis is bad, but at least it is recognisably Star Trek and not a shallow remake of Star Wars.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Everybody has forgotten Slumdog Millionaire already

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Possibly the worst Best Film Oscar winner ever.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:24 a.m. CST

    cheesy dubs are a must for corny martial arts films

    by Spandau Belly

    Sure, for the Zhang Yimou high brow stuff I bust out the bubtitles. But corny chessefests like Iron Monkey and Tokyo Gore Police were born to have hokey dubs. It adds to the flavor. I'm surprised big name comedians aren't lining up to do the voices for these movies.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:25 a.m. CST

    creepy isn't funny

    by stvnhthr

    Not much to buy this week. Harry your comments on masturbation are not funny, they are out of place and more than a little creepy. I heard some high school kids talking and they sexualized everything from food to sports to homework. It just seems juvenile

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Still no comment on the second season of Sarah Connor Chronicles

    by judderman

    I've been wondering what Harry thought, given his change of heart on season 1, about this infuriating, overlong, overwrought, overladen yet still occasionally brilliant second season.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:34 a.m. CST

    deadgirl? that made me wtf

    by turketron_2

    gotta watch it now.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:39 a.m. CST


    by jae683

    I agree. J.J.s Star (wars) Treks sucks salty donkey balls. How anyone can think that brain-dead movie was great is beyond me.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Harry you Fucktard!

    by IHaveSeenEveryEpisodeOfPrisonBreak

    I "GOT" Observer and Report. It still sucked hairy monkey balls! Yes, there is hope for me.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Observe and Report... no thanks

    by ron2112

    By the third scene in which I couldn't for the life of me understand why someone hasn't fired Seth Rogan's character already -- and that was maybe the fourth scene in the movie -- I decided there just wasn't enough suspension of disbelief in the world for me to enjoy this movie. Why is Ray Liotta just sitting there tolerating this idiot? Why doesn't he stand up and say "Hey, I'm an actual police officer investigating an actual crime, can we get this megalomaniacal rent-a-cop out of here, please?" Maybe the whole film turns around and starts making sense half-way through, but I couldn't get that far after three attempts. (In fairness, I also found Little Miss Sunshine to be a FAR darker drama than Magnolia, and not at all the comedy it was sold as, so maybe I have a problem.)

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:47 a.m. CST

    re: Gojira subtitles

    by Chishu_Ryu

    The subtitles look good.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:47 a.m. CST

    great selecton

    by The Amazing G

    An American Werewolf In London, Misery (shame Rob Reiner never made another great Stephen King movie), Army of Darkness, Child's Play, Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz and Wallace and Gromit are all the shit and as a Japanophile I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen the original Gojira yet, but that'll change soon!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:50 a.m. CST

    has anyone else ever read the Misery book?

    by The Amazing G

    it's as good as the movie if not a bit better and contains a few interesting details, for one you get a better understanding of what exactly the Misery novels are, including a few exerts from the one Paul writes for Annie

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:51 a.m. CST

    oh yeah and Harry..

    by The Amazing G

    "It’s like catching your mother masturbating with the Sybian" that's pretty disturbing dude :-/

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7:56 a.m. CST

    dalbatron is right. What does that analogy mean?

    by fireclown

    I defy you to diagram that sentence.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:09 a.m. CST


    by dash3088

    I like the site for all its updates and whats going on in movies and tv, but every tuesday I check for whats new on dvd. So, I wait and nothing, wait another week, and nothing, and after two weeks, mostly blu-ray stuff. I don't own a blu-ray player, I don't get them sent to me for free. Please just give me some dvd information, i've followed your site for awhile and I think I deserve it. If you can't do it, then let someone else take care of it. J.P.G.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:16 a.m. CST

    The film that predicted a Black President would bring cataclysm

    by Series7

    Didn't 5th Element come first? Granted Leeloo saved the day.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Deadgirl is on Netflix Instant streaming

    by mrmambo

    ...about to watch right now.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:19 a.m. CST


    by unkempt_sock

    But he was President of the WORLD. Kinda different.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Sooo I don't ever want to see Iron Monkey now

    by Series7

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Yeah I'm gonna try to watch Deadgirl tonight

    by Series7

    Since my netflix queue is at 500 and can't add anymore.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Two things always annoyed me about the 1st Childs Play:

    by DerLanghaarige

    1.) It's about a BOY who plays with DOLLS!<p> 2.) They still try to keep the audience guess if the doll is really alive and killing everybody, or if the boy may be the real killer, although even the dumbest person in the audience, who don't know ANYTHING about the movie, already knows what's going on.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:29 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Where's the fucking Dr. Uwe Boll interview!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:32 a.m. CST

    Are you retarded dash3088?

    by Giant_Dick_Bag_Filled_With_Taco_Meat

    You can get all the films mentioned in this article on standard DVD as well. So take the review and just drop about 600 lines of resolution and there you go.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:38 a.m. CST

    I take Wolverine Origins

    by Series7

    Over Van Boring.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:38 a.m. CST

    Observe and Report isn't black comedy

    by Garbageman33

    Dr. Strangelove is black comedy. Observe and Report is people saying horribly inappropriate things with a straight face. I'm not sure when that became the height of comedy, but I wish it would stop.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:40 a.m. CST

    At least I'm not the only one

    by DanielPlainviewOnVacationInBoston

    who thinks that Van Helsing is retarded fun. Is it good? Hell no. But I can watch the shit out of that movie on a yearly basis and not give a damn, because, holy hell, LOOK AT KATE BECKINSALE. And is Frankenstein bungee jumping with a steel cable around some evil castle thingy with lightning? YEAH! And Observe and Report is most definitely black comedy. And one of the five best films of the year.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Drag Me to Hell vs American Werewolf

    by Davidhessstation

    Anyone who thinks Drag Me to CGI Hell is better than An American Werewolf in london needs to be gang raped by a bunch of AIDS patients.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Bluray extras.

    by tonyvortex

    I kind of wish you would talk about the extras on the stuff coming out like Hot Fuzz,Shaun of the Dead and Army of Darkness.Sort of wondering if they all have the same stuff the dvds do or more.I would like the Hot Fuzz bluray but not if it doesnt have everything from the 3 disc dvd.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Deadgirl is great!

    by Grammaton Cleric

    Funny, exploitative, disturbing, and a little touching all at once.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Legend of the Drunken Master: "DO NOT PURCHASE!"

    by Meglos

    Here is an amazon link anyway!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Singer Confirmed for Jack the Giant Killer

    by Snikkar124

    Bryan Singer has signed on to direct Jack the Giant Killer, the fantasy adventure from New Line and Legendary Pictures. The film, written by Mark Bomback (Live Free or Die Hard), takes an adult look at the Jack and the Beanstalk legend. When a princess is kidnapped, a long-standing peace between men and giants becomes threatened, and a young farmer is given an opportunity to lead a dangerous expedition to the giant kingdom to rescue her.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Does Iron Monkey have the original language track?

    by SoylentMean

    I doubt it and it disturbs me that they bungled the release of Hero and Legend of Drunken Master, especially since both films helped to greater popularize martial arts flicks here in the states. I've watched my DVDs of Iron Monkey, Hero, and Legend of Drunken Master often, but usually as background movies with the sound muted, because I really have to be in the mood to watch a movie dubbed in English.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Eisenberg, Timberlake & Garfield to Star in Facebook Movie

    by Snikkar124

    Columbia Pictures and director David Fincher have cast Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Timberlake and Andrew Garfield in The Social Network, the drama about the formation of Facebook written by Aaron Sorkin. Eisenberg will play Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg; Timberlake will play Sean Parker, the Napster co-founder who became Facebook's founding president; and Andrew Garfield will play Eduardo Saverin, the Facebook co-founder who fell out with Zuckerberg over money. Production will begin next month in Boston and then move to Los Angeles.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9 a.m. CST

    While I get why others hate Van Helsing...

    by SoylentMean

    I don't hate it myself. It never once takes itself seriously and it's cheesy beyond belief. But it's cheesy with a huge budget. My only real gripes with the movie were the Frankenstein's monster design and Dracula's ewok-like underlings. The rest of the movie I had fun with.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Observe and Report?

    by Series7

    Is that the Die Hard rip off one? Or the fat gay guy one?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Facebook movie

    by Series7

    Who cares. Facebook sucks balls now ever since the creator went all money hunger. Facebook used to mean something. <P> For those of you who don't know Facebook was a thing they used to give out in colleges for all new Freashmen with a picture of them and some info. So facebook was a college only thing, now any dumb ass and fucking company can have a facebook.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:08 a.m. CST

    The Japanese Name Gojira is gaining popularity in the states....


    because there is a killer French band that is called Gojira and they stomp all over most American bands like the monster in the movies. Also I finally saw the 1st Child's Play a few years ago, and however scary it might have been when it first came out, I found it hilarious as an adult. That film has not aged well at all.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:08 a.m. CST

    5 Blu-Rays that make me glad I'm getting Blu-Ray

    by SoylentMean

    An American Werewolf in London, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Gojira, and The Wallace & Gromit Collection. All are movies that I watch often, which makes them worthy of upgrade.<P> Since studios seemingly can't always be bothered to actually put forth an effort to utilize the capacity of Blu-Ray, and in turn release low quality Blu-rays to an unsuspecting public automatically expecting better quality and sound, I'd recommend doing some research before making any Blu-ray purchase. <P> seems to be trustworthy and I'm sure there are other resources out there so, especially if you're trying to "upgrade", do some homework before buying Blu.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:09 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Does anyone else wish they were making Fantastic Mr. Fox instead of Anderson.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Blu Ray

    by Series7

    While I still watch most of my stuff on VHS. I just don't think I have enough time to fully use the Blu Ray shit. I'm a one and done sort of guy. Especially with Netflixs, just rent it scroll through the bouns features see if anything looks worth while, about 90% of the time bouns features are shit. I am so sick of bouns features that I actually like it when a DVD doesn't have any.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:13 a.m. CST


    by Karl Childers

    That should be set in stone somewhere that matters.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:15 a.m. CST


    by Karl Childers

    I learned more movie news in this thread than I have through the whole site all week.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:17 a.m. CST

    boys playing with dolls

    by Bouncy X

    the "good guy" doll was based on the real life "my buddy" doll from the 80s. it was the same size and all and made for boys, so the movie was just being faithful to reality. they even had a girl one with blonde hair and pigtails, i forget her name though.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Kid Sister

    by kurdt420

    sad that I remember that

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Series 7, I actually get what you're saying

    by SoylentMean

    sometimes it seems like they're trying too hard with the extras, although if the extras are done well they can accentuate the viewing experience. But yeah, more often than not I'm just there for the movie.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Bouncy x, kurdt420, ah, the 80's as a child

    by SoylentMean

    I regret to admit that I had a My Buddy doll. But I also had a My Pet Monster with breakable chains and that was way cooler. Also, I had a talking Alf that was cooler than that.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:22 a.m. CST


    by FailureAtTheCave

    If you caught your mother riding a Sybian, you *wouldn't* look away??

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Grace is good, but not faintingly good

    by SoylentMean

    It's very well done and definitely worth a view, but apparently it caused two dudes to faint at a Sundance screening. Really, not that scary, unless you have an inordinate fear of breastfeeding.<P> I do think baby formula companies could use Grace as a selling point for their products.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:26 a.m. CST

    It’s like catching your mother masturbating with the Sybian

    by deathstar73

    That was a phrase I could've lived the rest of my life without seeing or hearing.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:27 a.m. CST

    I even remember the stupid song

    by kurdt420

    "My Buddy, My Buddy, My Buuudy and Me!"

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Harry writes in what's called "Trainwreck Style"

    by SoylentMean

    It's often atrocious, yet you can't look away. Also, half the time you can't believe he wrote what he wrote. I'm not sure why people are still shocked by this, it's not like it's going away due to popular demand.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:32 a.m. CST

    I had to look up what a Sybian was...

    by CaseyMcCall

    I am pretty sure I am proud of not having known what that was. Harry's freakish mind now puts images in my mind that makes me want to gauge my eyes out.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Yeah this is probably one of Harry's

    by Series7

    Grossest set of reviews in a while.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Phantasm II barebones edition

    by SoylentMean

    I'm not sure why, after such demand, that the studio put out the film like this. But I'm still buying it.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:46 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Yeah I'm sure there are good extras out there on facebook and I am very selective about what I add, after adding a few things at the very begining. The bigger problem I have is my dumb friends that FUCKING ADD everything. Then send me request to add shit too. I don't want to play fucking Zombies or Mafia war or a cause to my fucking facebook. <P> It used to be that you had to be able to write something interesting on your wall, or make sure that your interest were actually you. Now you just bombard your Facebook with crap. I mean when was the last time you actually saw someone's proflie on facebook? Its like buried under all that crap. Plus now its like a wanna be twitter.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Phantasm's DVD

    by Series7

    Didn't they all come together in some special edition with the ball? I've never seen any I really want to though.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:47 a.m. CST

    That Paul Newman set will be mine

    by SoylentMean

    most likely for Xmas. Sadly, the only movie in the set I do own is Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid. That is a great gift box set, do you hear me Santa?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:47 a.m. CST

    they also have sybians for men

    by Bouncy X

    but the idea of sticking my dick inside the hole of a machine scares me. so i'll stick to just watching women use theirs.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Though watching Phantasm in a row

    by Series7

    I may never do. I learned my lesson a long time ago when I was a kid and watched Omen's 1-3 in a row up to like 4 in the morning. And save for 1 the rest sucked. So I think I decided then never to do that again.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:50 a.m. CST

    twitter is the wanna be facebook i think

    by Bouncy X

    the first time i heard about twitter my thought was, why would someone who owns a facebook even get it? its basically just a "status update" tool. hell even if you dont have facebook i still dont get it. thats one internet trend that'll never get me.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Series, I think the Phantasm Ball set lacked #2

    by SoylentMean

    Which is the only reason I don't own that set. I read in either Fango or Rue Morgue that a big problem with the release of Phantasm 2 was that parents (WTF?) were disturbed by the flying ball stabbing people in the head with protruding knives!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:50 a.m. CST

    I hope Harry isn't on Star Trek season 2 extras

    by JettL93

    Harry, I hope you don't show up on the extras for star trek season 2, I was disgusted when watching the starfleet access feature on season one and your fat head pops up to talk about the episode... seriously why are you interviewd on DVD's? You run a website that just posts news from other sites, you have no more critical experience when it comes to movies then the average fanboy

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST

    the Phantasm ball set

    by Bouncy X

    i think that was a UK only release. seeing as how they rights issues are different there they could get them all together. in north america i think there's like 3 different studios involved with the dvd rights so doubt we'll ever see a complete set like that.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST

    A Horror series that's not so good in one sit is...

    by SoylentMean

    The Puppetmaster series. The first one scared the hell out of me as a child, and while the rest in the series do have some pretty cool stop motion FX, they're really not all that good. Still, I do own the Puppetmaster box set. I've watched all of 'em once and probably never will again.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Simon Pegg

    by yodalovesyou

    Do geeks think he's funny just because he do 156 pop culture references per hour?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Is there any horror series

    by Series7

    Worth viewing them all in one sitting?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Eh, Kirk's Jewish

    by YackBacker

    That's what I keep telling myself at least.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Literally just watched Observe and Report.

    by Hint_of_Smegma

    Fucking brilliant. Twisted, fucked up and seriously funny. Loved it.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Elm Street series..

    by Bouncy X

    back when there were only 6, i did watch them all in one sitting. i think it took me like 10hours or so. i even waited til winter so i could start around 4pm so it would be getting dark out already. ah to be young again. :P and man, i've posted a lot in the last half hour, you'd think i dont have a job. god bless government "work".

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Series 7, yes, The Evil Dead trilogy

    by SoylentMean

    I usually watch those movies once a year, as a triple feature. It just works.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I misread "oil riggers"

    by Simpsonian

    admit it, you did too.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:05 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    I'll accept Evil Dead. But Elm is skeptical. <P> I wonder if I tried to watch all the Saw films in a row, if they would make sense.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Watching all of the Saw films in a row is cause for...

    by SoylentMean

    an intervention. That is self abuse of the highest order.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:13 a.m. CST

    That's right Harry!

    by TopHat

    AVATAR is like the discovery of America! Like the first steps on the moon!! Cameron is GOD! He's like Jesus sending out his message. Going against the grain! AVATAR is the greatest film ever made!!!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Mom Masturbating

    by FreeBeer

    Uck, I could look away from something like that Harry, maybe you couldn't, but I could.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Saw films

    by Series7

    I don't hate them. I actually like them. Because think about it, what ongoing film series does America have right now, that is original and not just a reboot old series? <P> Imagine teenagers today, they are going to look back on Saw 10 years from now the same way we look at Elm Street and Jason. Sure they were stupid but they enjoyed them. <P> And I don't think that's so bad. Better then them thinking horror films all died in the 80s except for in Asia.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Every comment made about Harry's writing makes him giggle

    by SoylentMean

    You all are making a fat man giggle. I don't know how you can live with yourselves.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Beware...the Matter Of Loaf & Death DVD is FULL-FRAME

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    Apparently, the only way to watch this in widescreen is to spring for the Blu.<BR><BR>What HORSESHIT.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Man, I need to upgrade to Blu-ray

    by LastOfTheV8Interceptors

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:24 a.m. CST

    So, that Wolverine cover/poster...

    by white_vader

    Is that, like, his Adamantium version of giving us the finger/flipping us the bird/both? Which would actually make it a good/appropriate image for the film come to think of it...

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:26 a.m. CST

    I heard the quality on "GOJIRA" is shit on Blu

    by Whtshark

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Series 7, that's a valid argument but...

    by SoylentMean

    those same kids are going to be consulting the Saw films as if they are a mark of quality. They are not. And not one of those films has truly lived up to the potential. I remember how pissed off I was about the jump cut handling of the guy in the room filled with razor wire scene in Saw 1. It was cheap and a cop out. Don't set up what could have been potentially one of the greatest, goriest kills in all of filmdom only to give it the strobelight treatment. <P> I really hope the kids of today don't use the Saw films as a measure of excellence. <P> If they do, well Horror is fucked.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:39 a.m. CST

    The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

    by Series7

    Yeah I guess no one wanted to hear about that? Good miss Harry.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:43 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Have you seen all the Saw films? <P> Saw 3 while being the worst has the best kills. A dude drowns to death in rotting pig corpses. Also the sound effect used as the drill bit touches the skull of jigsaw I can still hear to this day. There is a lot of good stuf in the Saw series, people dismiss it because its popular. I mean there is a lot of good and bad stuff in Friday and Elm street as well. I don't think anyone that matters will know that Saw is a measure of excellence. I don't think anyone uses Elm of Friday as a measure of excellence, they are just silly fun movies. We all know there is better more fucked up shit out there. Saw is like a gateway movie into the world of horror.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Series7, I've seen Saw 1-4, then I stopped

    by SoylentMean

    Saw 3 was messed up and the most disturbing of the bunch but I'm pretty sure the guy didn't actually die in the vat of rotting pig corpses (seriously, if the Saw films had contained more scenes involving that level of derangement, I'd be a fuckin' fan). Also, autopsies aren't scary. Still, I see your point, I just don't happen to agree. The saw films have set Jigsaw up to be some sort of genius, but his genius is derived from lazy screenwriting, not you know, ingenuity.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Moroder's Metropolis needs Blu Rayin'

    by Mr Nicholas

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Harry should just hand the website to someone else

    by IAmLegolas

    he's mailing it in more than George Lucas or Howard Stern.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST


    by Jarek

    Is fucking horrible.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Saw 5 is actually really good

    by Series7

    Its a lot like 2, but the deaths in 4 were the weakest and the story was the most conveluted. Saw 5 is sort of like a new start, and the death's are pretty good. <P> I wasn't saying the autopsy was scary, it wasn't just that sound effect was so disturbing, made me crindge. Like you know how some people hate the feeling of pulling cotton or the girt of sand in your teeth sort of thing. Just like CLINK! sound of the drill bit touching the skull. <P> And as far as the screenplay goes, your going to complain when you can only compare it to say Halloween sequels or Friday/Elm sequels? To them they are fucking amazing. Plus the fact that they can pump one of these out every year. <P> Also the Saw movies are giving way to upcoming talent. While most of it has been shit, from the originals directors other stuff (Dead Silence and Death Sentence, to that Pair Hilton thing Repo). The recent writers (and writers of the much better Fest series) did the movie The Collector which is fucking awesome and would have never happened had it not been for Saw. <P> While Elm gave us Renny Harlin and a couple of other directors, its becoming like that.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:12 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Good line-up of Blu Ray titles in this column.. could be expensive!<p> Anyone know what 'The Screwhead Edition' of EVIL DEAD 3 means? Cave or store ending?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Series 7, yes, The Collector was awesome

    by SoylentMean

    and seriously underseen. I hope it finds its audience on home video. Dead Silence and Death Sentence should both have been much better than they were.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Yeah I hope the collector

    by Series7

    Gets a sequel. Hopefully it cost less then a million bucks to make are something. I mean Fest got the two sequels made, so hopefully The Collector will be the same. <P> I blame shitty critics for dismissing the collector and calling it Torture Porn. The only thing that is really Torture Porn is Hostal and Captivity and some direct to DVD movies. Stupid fucking term that gets tossed around by lazy writers.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:18 a.m. CST

    I bet Harry

    by Series7

    Doesn't even give it a DVD review.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:27 a.m. CST

    by Fest, do you mean Feast Series7?

    by SoylentMean

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Yeah thats what I mean

    by Series7

    I suck at spelling, and I am only 12 years old.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Ok, cool, I didn't know what Fest was

    by SoylentMean

    Feast I know. Feast 1 was great, Feast 2 was ridiculous (yet hilariously evil), and I have yet to see Feast 3. I'll probably buy it whenever there's a Halloween Horror movie sale at Best Buy or Amazon.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Yeah I still need to see Feast 2 and 3

    by Series7

    but I loved the first one, and its the same team on all 3.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Plus anything that kills

    by Series7

    Eric Dane is a bonus. Too bad the trailer couldn't fuck help it self on that.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:45 a.m. CST


    by Bouncy X

    Army of Darkness is the theatrical version because this is a Universal release. but they did add the Director's Cut ending as an extra and there's a new featurette.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:51 a.m. CST

    "corny chessefests like Iron Monkey..."

    by seppukudkurosawa

    For shame! Iron Monkey is one of the few Hong Kong chop sueys which DOESN'T succumb to total cheese. That there is living proof how a bad dub can turn ANYTHING, even the most dead serious movie, into an episode of Monkey (which was s'posed to be funny). I'll give, Tokyo Gore Police is a little more goofy, so it might not be so badly harmed by a dub. The original audio track couldn't have exactly done the distributors any harm.<p> Meh, I don't even buy Blu Ray anyway, and I've still got my old DVD. I'm still too busy tracking down movies I haven't seen to think about seeing the ones I already have in better quality. Oh yeah, and the fact that I'm a total pauper might have something to do with it.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:54 a.m. CST

    I'll tell you a good idea for a Torture Porn movie

    by seppukudkurosawa

    There was an issue of The Sandman which had serial killers from all over America getting together at a "Cereal Convention." That'd be one hell of a good springboard for a tongue-in-cheek horror.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:56 a.m. CST


    by Harold-Sherbort

    is one of the all time great movies about the horrors of parenthood. Havn't seen Grace though. Sounds decent enough.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:05 p.m. CST

    I'm happy Phantasm 2 is finally on dvd

    by The Amazing G

    I rented the first last year and have been wanting to see the sequels, but Phantasm 2 wasn't out on dvd

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Wolverine is The fucking Dark Knight compare to Van Helsing


    Wolverine. Better than X-Men 3. Arguably better than X-Men 1. (Not even close to X-Men 2.) What is your fucking problem with this movie? It's as if you randomly decide to show you have taste but because you don't, you pick the wrong movies to make examples of.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Yeah the American Werewolf DVD kicks ass.

    by disfigurehead

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:12 p.m. CST

    imagine seeing your mom...

    by The Amazing G

    masturbating with this thing you're welcome

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Soylent mean, being a little kid in the 70s was cooler

    by white_vader

    none of your namby-pamby buddy girlie-dolls there! We had Star Wars figures and God-damned 6 Million Dollar Man do-err, action figures. Steve Austin was awesome. He had the removeable skin revealing his bionic arm stuff, bionic vision (you looked through a lens in the back of his head to literally see through his magnifying bionic eye. And his accessory was a bloody engine block for him to lift (and probably beat motherfuckers over the head with)! Beat that, "my buddy"! ;) <p> Actually that reminds me - Harry, STOP using the word 'literally' when you DON'T FUCKING MEAN IT LITERALLY!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Wolverine is nowhere that bad.

    by TheLastCleric

    It's flawed but there is far more cool content than shit. Harry's got some balls talking about "stomaching shit" even while endorsing Van Helsing and G.I. Joe.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Wolverine is a passable movie?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    More enjoyable than the bloated Watchmen.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:40 p.m. CST

    GI joe is better then Wolverine

    by Series7

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Why is it

    by yesiamaplant

    such a travesty for Drunken Master 2 and Hero to not have the original language tracks or cuts, and not Iron Monkey? DON'T BUY ANY OF THOSE SHITHOUSE RELEASES UNTIL THEY GIVE US THE ORIGINAL LANGUAGE TRACKS!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Oh, and the people

    by yesiamaplant

    who say the new Star Trek is just a Star Wars movie in disguise---what the hell are you smoking? What---aside from the fact that it's an origin story and has some necessary Joseph Campbell-type elements---in that movie is ANYTHING like Star Wars? Retards.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Observe & Report

    by Liberty Valance

    Ah the old "You didn't get it" argument, pretty much the most pathetic, condescending defense of a bad movie in existence. I'd read about O&R, discussed it with people who'd seen it (both pro and con) and knew exactly what to expect. I'm as cynical as they come and this movie simply wasn't funny, insightful, scathing, or anything else it aspired to. The dearth of genuinely intelligent black comedies causes people to latch on to mediocrities such as this. I "got it" just fine, and what I got was a failed satire.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 1:31 p.m. CST

    hated observe and report

    by therealrockinrolla

    never want to see it again

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST


    by logicalnoise01

    kurdos, harry on calling out studios mistreating their own properties.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 1:39 p.m. CST

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine totally rocked.

    by we_pray_for_mad_skillz

    Go drink your haterade, Harold. <p> I don't think that we should be listening to the opinion of someone who doesn't even know that Emma Frost has diamond skin.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Someone earlier said that Nemesis was recognisably 'Star Trek'


    NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! <P> It was the most one of the worst examples of having people act completely out of character just because they want to make a big action movie. I could spend ages explaining why Nemesis sucks on every conceivable level but I think this guy probably says it best... <p>

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 1:46 p.m. CST

    I'm waiting for the announcement of

    by Series7

    Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Observe This.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Unfortunately, i must support JJ TREK

    by seniorspeilbergio

    And here's why. Next Generation, DS9 and Voyager were all shows that had their final edits put together on video decks, meaning there is no original film element other than the actual takes which were never spliced together for air. This also goes for the effects which were also all composited on video. What this means is there are no existing broadcast versions of those episodes available in 1080i. Just video resolution at around 480. Maybe 720 with some sort of up convert. To go through all those original film elements, scan them digitally and then RE EDIT them all (including re compositing effects) will cost a shitload of money. The only way I can see Paramount justifying the cost is if JJ's star trek turds bring in mountains of revenue and put those shows in the center of public demand so there's awareness once again of these late 80's/90's series. If that happens it may be justifiable to spend the enormous amounts of cash it would take to restore these shows to Blu Ray quality. So keep churning out the mediocre pseudo-star wars pap, JJ. I want my COMPLETE VOYAGES BLU RAY box set with every show and movie in chronological, historical, Star Trek order. So I won't be seeing any more of these really bad star trek abortions but i sure do hope the rest of you do.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:12 p.m. CST

    "Wolverine totally rocked"

    by MattmanBegins

    If you have no regard for interesting characters, for creative storytelling, for dialogue, or for convincing special effects, then yes. Wolverine rocked. Hail mediocrity!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:14 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    I'm a 12 year old and Wolverine did totally ROCK!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:15 p.m. CST

    American Werewolf Blu-ray

    by Flexfill

    Is exactly the same transfer as the HD-DVD that was released a hundred years ago. The quality is nothing to write home about, but it does technically look better than the standard definition DVD.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Has anyone sat through all Tremors

    by skimn

    Beyond the classic first, I've seen the second. Has there been like, four? And regarding Feast 2, whats up with that midg...I'm mean little persons penis....holy crap!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Excuses are like assholes.....everybody has one

    by thelordofhell

    Seriously Harry, we're getting sick of this, "I couldn't take 8 hours to slap together a column for my website because I'm masturbating in a hotel room in **insert name of city**.". Then again, just keep serving up the shit sandwiches, I'm sure we'll keep eating them like good little sheep.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:47 p.m. CST

    What. The. Fuck?


    "I remember this was the first film I watched with Guillermo Del Toro at his house and he asked me if I wanted to masturbate. I did, but I told him no. I think had I masturbated, he’d never have left Austin. But he’s gone now, and I cry for hours everyday."<p>What. The. Fuck?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:48 p.m. CST

    The only reasons to like Van Helsing

    by thelordofhell

    1--The chicks were all smokin' hot 2--Universal released that bitchin' Dracula, Frankenstein, Werewolf box set with the mini-busts of the monsters.....I still have them on top of my computer!!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 2:49 p.m. CST


    by tatoosh

    ...boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra rahhhhhhh.....

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:03 p.m. CST

    How could anyone enjoy Zombie & Vampire Fucking

    by ThePilgrim

    Both are dead and cold. A Zombie's vaginal canal would be pretty cold and dry. This is where True Blood loses me. Chicks fucking a male vampire I can believe in, because the womans natural warmth will eventually correct the cold cock issue. That said kissing a vampire must be fucked up as well, cold nasty ass mouth, full of bad bacteria like trush. Fucking the undead is not appealing. Cold and dry and just fucking wrong. If dead girl showed this gang of fucktards inserting a lubricant and pre warming the private area with a heating rod or something. then I might be able to believe in it. But no this and True blood guy on vamp girl sex don't make a lick of fucking sense.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:04 p.m. CST

    I will never take Harry's advice again.

    by liljuniorbrown

    Thanks to you I lost nearly two hours of my life and fifteen bucks watching the worst possible attempt at a GI Joe movie ever. It wasn't as bad as Van Helsing but it was damn near close. What is up with your reviews lately man? Wolverine sucked but I should go see GI Joe? Now you are telling me A movie about a bunch of guys chaining up a zombie so they can fuck it was "a delight" You got to lay off the meds man.You're fucking losing it. If you keep this up they won't allow you within a hundred yards of a school, or Chucky Cheese's.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:05 p.m. CST

    No "Haunted World Of El Superbeasto?"

    by ThePilgrim

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:13 p.m. CST

    el superbeasto

    by animas

    i've been reading some reviews that it is just awful, which is not really surprising considering who made it.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Rob Zombie Presents: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

    by thelordofhell

    This movie makes Ralph Bakshi look like a genius.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    thelordof hell, yes, the Universal Legacy set

    by SoylentMean

    which came with about, what fifteen movies in total plus busts of Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, and the Wolfman. One of the best box sets I've ever bought. Too bad Universal didn't do another box set (with busts) for The Mummy, The Invisible Man, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon. That would have been awesome! Oh well.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST

    I *still* haven't seen Slumdog

    by I am_NOTREAL

    But no movie can take the title of worst Best Picture winner ever until they take the Oscars away from Crash and Shakespeare in Love.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Also fuck the TCM remake

    by ThePilgrim

    Let's see they gave you a cameo. They gave you the prop saw for your birthday. They bought you out. <P> Meanwhile.... Most of the fans and original cast including the "Real Leatherface" "Gunnar "Did it better" Hansen" along with a larger than you think group of think it's crap and slap in the face of what the original created. Drug bullshit, No crazy dinner scene- they show leatherfaces face. I think it's crap and I fucking hate that you sold your soul and your states greatest horror film ever made. I hate that you helped this pop culture horror character remake hell to commence by supporting this shit and letting them buy you out. Sure they didn't pay you for more than your screentime a prop saw, and some ad play here, but this is the remake that gave Platinum Dunes enough power to go after Friday and Nightmare, and pretty soon Halloween- unless the Brothers W. can right the ship. <P> And you still fucking roll with them at least in a vocal sense. They got you all played and buttered. No one would say shit about Friday here because Derek Mears had the role. And Derek is buds with Drew McWeeny. Now for nightmare is all good because Jackie's the K-man. <P> Most of the AICN crew hates Transformers. Yet you give these "Fuck-Asses" a pass when it comes to their horror catalog. Fuck that shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <P> I hope this doesn't get me banned. I really feel the need to say this shit. If nightmare is anything like the leaked screenplay. You all have to be honest and call it the piece of shit it really is. None of this "but Jackie was a good Krueger and for that reason alone you should watch this" crap. <P> Derek Mears is a nice guy in real life and he was a good Jason, the rest of the character and the film plot itself was a total shit!!!!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST

    How can you have a Paul Newman tribute pack...

    by Wandering_Prophet

    ...With no Cool Hand Luke. Seriously. Doesn't make sense. At all. Can't even manage full sentences over the stupidity.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    white_vader, yeah, but all the Star Wars toys were...

    by SoylentMean

    arriving in the 80's, so I got to play with those. My ewok village was the go-to fort of choice for not only my Star Wars figures, but my G.I. Joes, Battle Beasts, Dinoriders, M.U.S.C.L.E. toys, Army Ants, and of course, my Mr. T toy. Usually the He-Man toys, Thundercats toys, and my Transformers were the giants to those other toys, quite often attacking the ewok village fort. <P> I usually made my Lego people the oppressed people since it was really easy to dismember and decapitate those toys, so I could create a huge battlefield scene complete with strewn about bodies. <P> Damn, I had a ton of toys growing up.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    This subject gets me so mad, I can't even type- try this again

    by ThePilgrim

    Let's see they gave you a cameo. They gave you the prop saw for your birthday. They bought you out. <P> Meanwhile.... Most of the fans of the original and original films cast including the "Real Leatherface" "Gunnar "Did it better" Hansen" think the remake is crap and slap in the face of what the original created. Drug bullshit, No crazy dinner scene- they show leatherface's face. I fucking hate it and I fucking hate that you sold your soul and your states greatest horror film ever made. I hate that you helped this pop culture horror character remake hell commence, by supporting this shit and letting them buy you out. Sure they didn't pay you for more than your screentime, a prop saw, and some ad play here, but this is the remake that gave Platinum Dunes enough power to go after Friday and Nightmare and pretty soon Halloween- Unless the Brothers W. can right the ship. <P> And you still fucking roll with them- At least in a vocal sense. They got you all played and buttered. No one would say shit about Friday here because Derek Mears got the role, and Derek is buds with Drew McWeeny. Now Nightmare is all good because Jackie's the K-man. <P> Most of the AICN crew hates Transformers. Yet you give these "Fuck-Asses" a pass when it comes to their horror catalog. Fuck that shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <P> I hope this doesn't get me banned. I really feel the need to say this shit. If Nightmare is anything like the leaked screenplay. You all have to be honest and call it the piece of shit it really is. None of this "While the film itself sucks on the whole- Jackie is a good Krueger and for that reason alone you should watch it" crap. <P> Derek Mears is a nice guy in real life and he was a good Jason, but the rest of the characters and the film itself was a total shit!!!!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    Me and my buddies once convinced a younger virgin in high school that women parts get cold when they are horny. And he then later try to tell us about hooking up with a girl and her meat socket was freezing cold. It was like that Adam Sandler skit.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:37 p.m. CST

    The Real Ghostbusters complete collection?

    by Chuck_Cobra

    I've owned that for almost a year now.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Mackenzie Phillips

    by BozeMaster69

    To be called a motherfucker would be insulting...a fatherfucker...ok?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Yeah because the original Friday the 13th movies

    by Series7

    Had AMAZING plots?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:01 p.m. CST

    I need to get off my ass and get that RGB Complete Collection

    by turketron_2

    The Real Ghostbusters is one of my favorite cartoons from my youth. So good.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:10 p.m. CST

    observe and report is great

    by slappy jones

    saw it last week and its fucking funny. rogens funniest film by a mile.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Got me some serious love for AWIL...

    by HarryCalder

    Agreed with all that CGI will just NEVER equal practical effects. When a real actor is actually covered with fur, has claws, giant teeth, really looks like a werewolf at the moment the camera rolls, you'll see it their eyes. That first transformation scene in AWIL shall forever be a standard by which all others are measured. I'm talking to you, Joe Johnston...

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST

    The first 5 are great!!!!!!

    by ThePilgrim

    The people who bitch about the Friday flicks being shit- forget that the first 5 where actually good. Halloween, TCM and Nightmare couldn't keep it up that long. <P> 1 A fucking masterpiece- yes I said that- you can tell me it rips of Halloween till your blue in the face- Halloween rips a few scene from the original TCM, but no one talks about that<P> 2 While anything but a masterpiece. Is an insanely fun watch. The people who go out drinking survive!<P> 3 Gave up the iconic look and was very entertaining as well and the characters were watchable/likeable.<P> 4 Is all about Savini and Jason final ride- a great send off as well. Oh yeah and Crispin fucking Glover.<P> 5 Is a fucking blast. Friday needs more nutty fucks! <P> Fuck you haters! <P> Halloween 5 shit the bed, and pissed all over the toilet seat! <P> ANOES 5 had a dreamchild, and Freddy turned into a fucking killcycle! That movie was pure shit. <P> Fucking punk ass mild fans of horror talking shit about how bad the other films were... You know nothing! Back then Friday was worth it's gore in gold!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:24 p.m. CST

    The standard by which you can see

    by ThePilgrim

    the clear hole area in the tranformation contact lenses in 1080p and the rubber cement holding the fur on the actors back. Yes Baker is King, but time and technology is a mutherfucker!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:42 p.m. CST

    ThePilgrim, re: standards

    by HarryCalder

    For sure, I'm never going to argue that the effects in AWIL will always be unrivaled, but the overall horror/comedy impact of that movie is still much greater than most of the CG shit-fests that have followed, and I maintain that the physical reality of the effects as experienced by the actors on-set has a lot to do with that. The performances are just better, even with a mediocre actor like David Naughton.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Get someone else

    by McTreble

    Hey Harry: You sure are busy lately, but when a column depends on weekly updates, and you can't do them on a weekly basis... GET SOMEONE WHO CAN!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Thank God for $1 Redbox

    by skimn

    I feel about Observe and Report about the same as I do about Jody Hill's Foot Fist Way. In fact the plots are not that disimilar. A self deluded "hero" comes in contact with his idol/inspiration, which turns sour and results in a fist fight between the two. You can have a funny comedy with "unlikable" characters. Look at Its Always Sunny. At least it was not dragged out (listening Apatow?)and ended after a quick 1:22.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:08 p.m. CST

    Observe and Report pussied out

    by MattmanBegins

    It could've been a wonderfully dark film, but then she wakes up in the middle of the fake rape scene and says, "Don't stop, asshole!" to let you know everything's okay. And the streaker at the end should've fucking died, and the movie should've ended with Rogen behind bars, building his own legend in prison. Then you'd have a great fucking movie.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Re: I have to admit, I did like the

    by skimn

    "FUCK YOU RONNIE!""FUCK YOU SADDAM!""Fuck you""Fuck you""Fuck you""Fuck you""Fuck you""Fuck you""Fuuuck Yooou""Fahuuuccckkk Yooouuuu"

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:15 p.m. CST

    yesiamaplant, Abrams' Star Trek is VERY Star Wars

    by MattmanBegins

    Abrams himself has said he's a Star Wars fan, not a Star Trek fan. The action is much more Star Wars ish than Star Trek. Hell, look at the phaser battle at the climax of the movie. And they fucking sword fight on a platform miles above a planet. I could go on. I loved the movie, btw, but the Star Wars comparison is valid.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Holiday special bad?

    by donkey_lasher

    Fuck off, there's very few films in existance that are that bad, and I even like SWHS if only for the cool cartoon.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:20 p.m. CST

    I loved Observe & Report

    by barnaby jones

    One of the best of the year (thus far)

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:30 p.m. CST

    Drunken Master 2 is horrrible compared to the first...

    by StarchildAD

    Like, I was shocked when I saw it. All the charm and love from the first is gone!... You guys havent seen Drunk Master, only watch the first one cuz its a total classic and I cant understand for the life of me why all these reviews are saying 2 is so good. Also Iron Monkey does rock so I totally understand GDTs masterbaution quip... It just works. And I have yet to see Phantasm 2 but Im so excited that Im gonna download it and say that this column made me do it! And Deadgirl, can anyone mention if its actually good apart from the one TBer who did above... I wanna know details! Also... Ive only seen one Paul Newman movie, Butch Cassidy and its an honest love affair with him and Whats his face... Can you guys recommend me his very best movies to watch... Thanks!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 5:57 p.m. CST


    by thelordofhell

    You and me were hoping for the same thing. I even sent Universal a letter complaining about not having a set with the busts of The Mummy, The Invisible Man, and The Creature. I've never got a response back, and I've never bought those movies yet. I'll wait....I'm patient.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:07 p.m. CST

    I bet if Van Helsing had been a megahit, we'd have seen...

    by SoylentMean

    Universal do another Legacy boxset, since a Van Helsing sequel would have most likely included different monsters.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:27 p.m. CST

    I like REAL horror films...

    by blade_walker

    that aren't just excuses for mindless gore. "Oh wow, he died in such an awesome way! This movie ROCKS!" *jacks off*

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Deadgirl - fucked up

    by darthwaz1

    not a bad flick. I'd still say Martyrs is the most fucked up movie I've ever seen.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 7 p.m. CST

    Harry, you're one sick F!

    by T 1000 xp professional

    lol but it's funny and i love your enthusiasm. A gggreat week for releases!! I'm gonna try to head over to fantastic fest ala Road trip from Miami! :) ! Keep up the column, we all appreciate it.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8 p.m. CST

    I use adblock to not support this column.

    by DigitalDong

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:18 p.m. CST


    by white_vader

    If that's the only Newman flick you've seen, run don't walk to the video store and get Cool Hand Luke. The Sting (another with Redford) is also great. And The Hustler. But by God, see Cool Hand Luke.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:24 p.m. CST

    "someone who doesn't even know that Emma Frost

    by white_vader

    has diamond skin" <p> Ha ha Mad Skillz - you're Kevin Smith aren't you? C'mon now you can tell us!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:36 p.m. CST

    To each their own I guess...

    by TheLastCleric

    because G.I Joe was easily the worst film I saw this summer. Everybody keeps pissing on TF2 yet Joe got EVERYTHING wrong, including Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. Seriously, how do you fuck those guys up?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:41 p.m. CST

    bwahahahaha lockesbrokenleg is a fucking idiot...

    by The Amazing G

    Wolverine better than Watchmen? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA, get the fuck out of here man, seriously

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing now = Big trouble in little China in the 80's

    by Rex_Nimrod

    I really enjoy Van Helsing, and I'm a major fan of the original Universal Monsters. I don't get the passionate hate some people have for this film, it's pretty much what I used to dream about after reading issues of Famous Monsters of Filmland when I was a kid. I'll admit that the guy they got to play Dracula was miscast. He kinda looks, and acts more like Count Chocula - complete with exploding marshmallow bat babies. But pretty much everything else Rocked, the extremely bad ass Werewolves alone were worth the price of admission, and the Brides were like Ingrid Pitt times three. Van Helsing is the greatest Monster movie Hammer never made, and I know it will eventually get the love it deserves, just like the now much beloved B.T.I.L.C., which was just as hated by many back in the day. I love 'em both, and I'm glad they're finally on Blu-ray.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Ghostbusters complete series answer

    by Bouncy X

    its being released in stores now.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 9:48 p.m. CST

    Paul Newman box set

    by Rex_Nimrod

    Good set, but I'd gladly trade Towering Inferno for Cat on a hot tin roof. Best movie from both Paul and Elizabeth Taylor, imho. Speaking of Elizabeth, Cat, Ivanhoe and Suddenly last summer need to be remastered for blu-ray NOW! (Please.)

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Drunken Master 2 Dub was not bad at all.

    by Zardozap2005

    Yeah it was cheezy, but Jackie dubbed his own voice, and the dialogue was very faithful to the original. And face it: the blind, retarded Jackie bit at the end of the movie in the original was fucking stupid. I'm glad they removed it from the US release. I do agree however that is should have been included as an extra.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:24 p.m. CST

    The Amazing G fucking liked Watchmen?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    That overrated piece of shit?

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Benjamin Button dvd ... bare bones

    by ReportAbuse

    Since someone mentioned bare-bones discs here ... I got this from Netflix and the main menu was just PLAY and SETUP. Not even chapter divisions or trailers. It did have an irritating anti-smoking ad at the beginning that you couldn't stop or ff. Some new MPAA rule? But there wasn't a lot of smoking in the movie, iirc. BTW, the flick is dull, too long, and too schmaltzy. 'Course it was written by the Forrest Gump writer and often felt excessively Gump-ish. I haven't read the Fitzgerald story yet but I suspect he was anything but a schmaltzy Gump-style writer.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Harry's ghey date with Guillermo Del Toro

    by ReportAbuse

    I'm sure we'd all really like to hear more about this. Pure Harry gold, itz. Right up there with you wanting to have Ron Burgundy's ass baby.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:10 p.m. CST


    by Turingtestee

    Much more disturbing than I had anticipated. Hard to watch in the first half, even heart-breaking at times. There were two subplots that did little to no service to the story, and the last act did devolve a little. Even so, very good.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Does Del Toro always offer to fire one off with a dude?

    by Onin Solstice

    I'm picturing Guillermo seductively trying to convince his movie-watching buddies that it's not gay to drop trou and squeeze out some baby juice in tandem.

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST


    by Neosamurai85

    Pardon, but I've been waiting for this on DVD for as long as I've owned a DVD player. This is the title of the week. A whole generation has missed out on Phantasm II and I WEEP for them. For those in the dark, this is the other Evil Dead II. This is the reason it was so cool that Bruce and Reggie had that scene in Bubba were in. By far the best in the series. I haven't seen it in years, but my god, this film was the only thing my kid ass had to question if was possibly cooler than Evil Dead 2. For the love of all that is geekdom go out and buy this! The opossums command you!

  • Sept. 23, 2009, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Locke doesn't like using his brain

    by MattmanBegins

    He likes mindless explosions and men screaming while flexing their muscles. Watchmen made his brain hurt.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:05 a.m. CST

    which is probably why he hates Tarantino

    by The Amazing G


  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:05 a.m. CST

    Just buy a region free player and get the uk Phantasm set

    by ThePilgrim

    it comes in a kick ass killer sphere case, and it's all the fucking films. Say no more. way better than some rush release version of part 2.... pftttthhhhh

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:32 a.m. CST

    I always loved Chucky...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    the killer little midget. Voice like a rock star.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Chucky scared the shit out of me as a kid

    by The Amazing G

    but it was fun regardless, I was the kinda kid who even though it might not seem like it on the outside I did enjoy having the shit scared out of me

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:48 a.m. CST

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine...

    by Neosamurai85

    Was not as bad as people made it out to be... though that's not saying much. The film wasted some good casting choices with Schreiber and Reynolds, was full of continuity errors, was completely unnecessary, and fucked up Dead Pool so hard it was ridiculous. Watchmen changed the ending. It was a choice that pissed of a lot of fans of the comic, but still left meant the film was quite good. It might have to some degree missed the point (though I'm going to have to lean on fans of the novel for how greatly) but it didn't fuck up as much as the joke they made of Dead Pool. That aside Watchmen Vs. Wolverine: Wolverine had quite a bit of poor acting and where the actors delivered, the script did everything in its power (sewing shut the mouth of one of the chattiest characters in marvel... real clever) to prevent them from giving good performances, Watchmen had some hammy moments but overall a great cast with fantastic dialog to work with. Action: Wolverine delivered more booms... but as Ebert pointed out everyone is immortal. And we know the main characters life to fight again in X-Men. There is no suspense. It's like watching Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children for fuck sake. I was completely disengaged the whole time. They've made Wolverine too Powerful in these last two films. In the Singer films you always wondered what his limit was, and had the drama of him still feeling pain. That is what is great about the character. He can take it, but he feels it, and has to overcome the pain of putting his claws through is own body to cut himself loose. Here he gets impaled all the time and it's hardly addressed. They just keep fighting like it's no big deal. Watchmen had a slowmo technique which while not for everyone did capture the feel of a comic. Considering how self away Watchmen is, it made sense. More importantly, the fights had investment. They had characters that bled, were mortal, and for the most part you could care about. Jackie Earle Haley was a beast. He might not have done crazy acrobatics of shot lightning out his ass or whatever, but the man kicked ass. One of the top-ten badasses of the decade, hands down. As for story... um... do I even need to compare? One of the few comic stories to be largely acknowledged as literature versus an origin story that only takes away from the mystique of a character that's appeal is largely that he is the mysterious outsider. Anyway you cut it the only thing Wolverine had going for it was less sex and generally a higher percentage of stupid fun than Watchmen. Wolverine was for people that don't like to watch badasses kick ass, high nudity sex, and some modicum of a message in their film. But for that demographic... yes, I suppose Wolverine is the better film. (Full disclosure: Wolverine is my favorite Marvel superhero, and second only to Batman for favorite superhero period of all comics). Peace.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:51 a.m. CST

    "life to fight again in X-Men"

    by Neosamurai85

    Yeah, to bed with me.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Fuck off MattmanBegins Didn't you like GI JOE?

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 1:06 a.m. CST


    by seniorspeilbergio

    Check out this link on remastering the newer shows and what it would take: ard/topic/8 274/3/0. take out the spaces.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Locke, I haven't seen G.I. Joe

    by MattmanBegins

    Everyone I know who saw it said it sucked, so I didn't feel like spending 12 bucks on it.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 1:55 a.m. CST

    There were several Watchmen people who couldn't

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Be hurt in the battles - the blue guy for one. He just stood there, mostly. The other clowns just fought blankly, and your precious Rorschach just gave up at the end. Shutty movie all around.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:08 a.m. CST

    "Rorschach just gave up at the end"

    by MattmanBegins

    HAHAHAHAHA! Wow... you really don't understand the uncompromising nature of Rorschach, do you? "Giving up" for Rorschach would've been keeping the secret. Rorschach never gave up (and that's why he died). Dumbass.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:18 a.m. CST

    Army of Darkness

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    I'm not really sure about my Evil Dead preference, but there is no way Army of Darkness is my least favorite of them, i love the fact that it became this sword and sorcery movie which i hold dearly. I can't really rank them because every ED is a greeat movie. I also like Ash's transformation through each one how he goes from a complete screaming nose bleeder to ending up a james bond style horror hero.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:21 a.m. CST


    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    I agree i don't care about the dub if the same actor is doing it. Heck all of those spaghetti westerns we all love were done that way. Also i like both version of the original Godzilla.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:11 a.m. CST

    Observe And Report was really good

    by WilliamZabkaRox

    Just watched Observe and Report a few hours ago and loved it (man that dude has a small penis - he should've been paid extra just for being man enough to show it off especially to the likes of Anna Faris). Observe and Report much like Adventureland was poorly promoted as being a different type of movie. People expected rauncy comedies but got completly different types of films.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:09 a.m. CST

    "and your precious Rorschach just gave up at the end."

    by The Amazing G

    bwahahahaha again, you really are a dumbass, that happens in the comic as well you moron

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Iron Monkey will suck you off and tickle your prostate

    by centilope

    It'll swallow too if you ask nicely.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Harry has chosen HD DVD, here's why

    by ricarleite2

    Only one DVD in the middle of a blu-ray extravaganza

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 9:07 a.m. CST

    fraggle rock final season FINALLY coming!!!!

    by Six Demon Bag

    fuck to the yeah!

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Re: Paul Newman

    by skimn

    Recommend all the above titles but leave out Slap Shot?? For shame.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Army Of Darkness is Great


    Some of the best one-liners in movie history. My favorite ending to a movie of all time (U.S. version in the S-Mart)--screw you, Citizen Kane. No wasted time with a shitty romantic subplot. (Granted this is made up for with an awful tribute to the Three Stooges--but still!). Bruce Campbell rocks. The cinematography rocks. What's not to love?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Some Awful Artwork on these DVD covers...

    by skeletonjack

    The American Werewolf one is particularly bad, what's wrong with using the original posters?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Um, no locke...

    by Neosamurai85

    Dr. Manhattan (A.K.A. "The Blue Guy") was the ONLY superhero that couldn't be hurt. They're were not tones of them. The "Alexander Guy" was fast, but other than that they were all basically human.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:27 a.m. CST

    GI Joe

    by Series7

    Was fucking awesome. You know if you were 12 you would've loved it. That movie worked in all the ways that the Transformers series doesn't.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST

    GI Joe had Rachel Nichols as Scarlett...

    by SoylentMean

    which was nice, the whole movie was goofy fun, with the only downside being the silly as fuck underwater space fight.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Lock didn't like Watchmen

    by Series7

    because there were guys that didn't get hurt? While I'm not saying Watchmen is great or anything. I really liked it, but thats probably the weakest excuse I've heard for not liking a comic book movie.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Great Description of Wolverine

    by A-COD

    Man did they blow it, even the title sucked

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:38 a.m. CST

    harry come on..everyone knows..

    by Squadoosh

    you RIDE the sybian!! seriously bro..and yes i realize how disturbed i am for knowing that.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:48 a.m. CST

    And Wolverine had a B-movie ending right out of the fifties..

    by skimn

    All is alright....OR IS IT?????

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Series7, in locke's defense

    by Neosamurai85

    I think he was playing off the fact that when I compared Watchmen and Wolverine I made a big deal about how down-played the amount of pain Wolverine goes through was. In X-Men they talked about how it actually hurts him even to draw his claws which tear out of his flesh where in Origins he gets impaled frequently with all the drama and agony of someone stomping your foot. He was pointing out that the Watchmen are not exactly weeping over punches either. Which in response, locke, I'll clarify by saying that it wasn't as much the point in Watchmen. They are super hero's, they are supposed to be tough, and they are mortal. With Wolverine, pain was an established character trait from the Singer films which was underplayed in Last Stand and Origins. It's a clear counter to the fact that he is virtually immortal, allowing there to be drama. As for the whole Watchmen blankly fighting bit. I'll grant the Specter Nightowl bits could have been done a bit better, but the mugging wasn't bad. It had content in that it showed how effortless this all was for them and established their attraction. It was a fight with a story. The prison scene, not so great. Other than that I think all of Rorschach's fights were great as was Comedian's death. The final throw down got a bit too epic for the established mortality of the characters, but it was clear that they were hurting like hell each time they got up, and when Rorschach takes off his mask it's pretty clear he's been rag-dolled.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:25 p.m. CST

    To me sounds like

    by Series7

    Locks never read the Watchmen comic.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 12:56 p.m. CST

    GIJoe was 2x better than Bayformers 2

    by Stalkeye

    Even wayans role was better than the sophomoric humor from TF2.the action scenes were handled much better too and sure it had it's flaws, but even an anal retent like me can overlook it in juxtiposition with "Bayorci's" lame ass sequel.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 2:04 p.m. CST

    GI JOE was not better than TF 2

    by lockesbrokenleg

    GI JOE was just another weird miltary movie that used JOE names. It wasn't like the cartoon at all. At least TG 2 used cartoon elements like the Matrix.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Series7 Moviegoes shouldn't have to read a comic

    by lockesbrokenleg

    before going to see a movie. Watchmen assumed everyone read the comic, and that wasn't the case. It bombed.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Army of Darkness is one of the most overrated movies EVER!

    by alienindisguise

    The same dipshits that worship that are the same homos digging the Rocky Horror Picture Show. UGH, get a life!

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 2:35 p.m. CST

    alienindisguise I agree 100 percent

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Tried watching that movie, but it was filled with so many cliches. And it's a classic? And it has like 100 different DVDs. It's overrated in the same way Buffy the Vampire Slayer is.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 2:59 p.m. CST


    by Stalkeye

    Sure TF2 utilized concepts from the cartoon (i.E. Optimus' death and the Matrix) but what good is it if 35% of the movie focused on silly humor that wasn't needed?bayformers would have been much better if they left a lot of shit on the cutting room floor.I'll even overlook the stereotypical 'bots and you would still have a mess of a film.IMO the live action sequel cannot hold it's own against the "abysmal"( yet,very underrated) animated Movie.I'll give you that,GIJoe was a disapointment for those like me who read the Comic.Sommers focused too much on far fetched elements and practically alienated anything that Hama has done.(yet he was credited as an consultant?)but it was more entertaining than TF2.<p>you know we'll never agree in regards to Bayformers or GIJose, but to each his own Stallone.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:04 p.m. CST

    I'm pretty sure Bob Orci was responsible for..

    by Stalkeye

    ..Watchmen's OwlShip sex scene where afterwards, the ship ignites flames as a metaphor for Niteowl's climax.(Orci wrote a polish treatment for the Movie, since the producers felt the original script wasn't good enough.)That's what I would expect from Bobby and his brand of "humor".;0p

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    And Hell Yeaz, Supes and Bats; Public Enemies was great!

    by Stalkeye

    Even the opening scene which is based on "current events" somehow made it's way into the plot.The murder of ******* and who was behind it was all too predictible and I wasn't too happy with the animation style but when you combine great voiceover talents,non stop action and a conspiracy,you won't get bored throughout the movie.can't wait for the Infinite Crisis OVA.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Stalkeye whatever dude you're just effed up

    by lockesbrokenleg

    You have terrible taste in films if you think JOE was better than TF 2.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Series 7

    by Stalkeye

    RE: "In X-Men they talked about how it actually hurts him even to draw his claws .." if you're refering to the scene in which Rogue asks Logan; "does it hurt when your claws come out.."? Logan then replied; "all the time".I'm sure he meant emotionally as oppossed to physical pain. being a Mutant, he is seen as some sort of freak or pariah when he pops his claws.I believe that was the interpitation that the writer's were implying/conveying.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    lockes, you know it's true. stop hatin. XD

    by Stalkeye

    Say shit like that and ppl will call you a um...hypocrite?<p>Sound familiar?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Stalkeye, I commented on the same scene

    by skimn

    half expecting a rocket launch, fireworks and a train entering a tunnel to follow. I got jumped on that "It's in the book!", and indeed it is. But does that justify a tired visual cliche?<p>And both GI Joe and Tran2 are idiot movies. Debating them are like debating what flavor of double bubble gum is better..what does it matter. I will give GI Joe credit for the well done Paris sequence though.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Stalkeye you are a douchebag

    by lockesbrokenleg

    You probably think Public Enemies was a classic?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    You all win: Bayformers 2, GI Joe and Wolverine are all crap

    by Stabby

    End of argument. Now, go to your individual corners of the room.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:40 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenrecord, not you

    by Stabby

    You get back in the hatch and keep pushing the buttons.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:47 p.m. CST

    The hatch exploded dude.

    by lockesbrokenleg

    At the end of Season 2. Sorry.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Phantasm 2

    by WillardGreensThunderballs

    is the shit! Willard upped the ante on that one. Fuck yeah.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:55 p.m. CST

    alienindisguise i've never even seen Rocky Horror

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    You mongoloic shit smearer.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Rocky Horror is overrated shit, too

    by lockesbrokenleg

    I saw it once after people told me it was great. Of course, these are the same people that think Watchmen is great.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    Moviegoes shouldn't have to read a comic (true - Southland Tales). But Watchmen was a fucking comic come to life. It was made for only people who loved/read that comic. I know it bombed and that no one who didn't read the comic didn't like it. <P> So you don't like Army of Darkness and Don't like Rockey Horror. You must be 16 max. I'm not in love with any of those movies, but they are all fucking better then Transformers. You probably liked all the Fast and Furious movies too?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Also is surprised me you don't like Rocky Horror

    by Series7

    You seem like a kid you likes to wears his mom's close around the house when you are alone.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:20 p.m. CST

    The only part of Watchmen that made sense

    by lockesbrokenleg

    was the credit sequence. After that it was a bloated mess. Yeah, the Mars sequence was good, but Damn, people, that entire movie was some character staring at us talking. Fuck that shit.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:21 p.m. CST

    No, I like movies of all kinds

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Unlike you, I'm not a bandwagon jumper.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:38 p.m. CST

    I'm not a bandwagon jumper

    by Series7

    How am I a bandwagon jumper? Your supporting the highest grossing film of the year? I like GI Joe? Which would put me in the minority and you on the band wagon. <P> When was the last time you saw a movie that wasn't in the top ten at the box office?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:40 p.m. CST

    I've been watching movies since 1973

    by lockesbrokenleg

    I went from Disney to movies like Star Wars in the space of a few years. I saw Close Encounters and TMP in theaters. I see a lot of shitty movies, and a lot of good ones.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Way to not answer my question

    by Series7

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Didn't Locke say Citizen Kane was shit?

    by MattmanBegins

    Or am I thinking of some other asshole?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    Was Citizen Cane a top ten box office hit this year?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Good point, Series7

    by MattmanBegins

    I'm pretty sure Locke's never seen Citizen Kane, or a Kurosawa movie, or Hitchcock. Even though he "went from Disney to movies like Star Wars in the space of a few years" hahaha. Because all film concists of two genres... Disney and Star Wars.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 4:53 p.m. CST


    by MattmanBegins

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:10 p.m. CST

    There are people in the world that don't like Kane

    by lockesbrokenleg

    War of the Worlds is better than Kane, and the visual effects were stunning for the day.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:11 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    I have Kane in my DVD collection. I also have War of the Worlds in my DVD collection. George Lucas is a huge fan of Kurosawa, and people diss him all the time. Fuck off you snob.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:13 p.m. CST

    "Deadgirl" is a disgusting, sick film.

    by Kirbymanly

    I put this on the same shelf as Hostel and the Saw films. Torture porn. People who love this film are sick in the head.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Never mind Lockes, he's just another...

    by Stalkeye

    ...defensive asshole.You can't even hold a civil discussion with him and don't say anything negative about his beloved Bayformers, or else he'll go full on retard.<p>Thanks for once again proving my point that you are a simpleton who is not a true movie enthusiast.Fucktard would have been better off using that $400.00 for an Xbox than paying for some celebrity's autograph.Oh, and Batman Superman: Public Enemies was better than the shit you endorsed Bobformers and Wolverweenie.<p>now what?!?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:18 p.m. CST

    How am I the asshole? You goes shove your

    by lockesbrokenleg

    opinions down our throats every time we post we like a blockbuster. Public Enemies was a shitty summer movie, and you just like it because Bay's name isn't on it.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Public Enemies was a fucking snoozefest

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    a big ol bag of flour. Depp was just doing the rounds, heck even bland Bale was better than him.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:42 p.m. CST

    When Depp started crying at the wheel

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    I lost my shit at that corn.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Locke, don't play the victim

    by MattmanBegins

    You're the fattest troll to ever grace a talkback. There's not much you actually like, aside from Transformers. You hated UP and can't be bothered with character development (hence your hatred of Watchmen and Public Enemies). Hey, everyone's got their preference. Hell, I had fun in Transformers 2, but I wouldn't dare argue with someone that didn't like it, because that would make me a fucking asshole. Everyone knows that film is pure shit, even people who enjoyed it. It's not your opinion that makes you an asshole, it's the way you present your opinion. And you, Locke, are a fucking asshole.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6 p.m. CST

    You fuckers are the whiniest people I've ever

    by lockesbrokenleg

    encountered online, and the people who confuse opinions with facts. MattmanBegins is the Fox News of posters.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Says the guy who whines about True Blood in every talkback

    by MattmanBegins

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Lockes, you emo dope WTF makes you think I was refering

    by Stalkeye Michael Mann's Public Enemies?I mentioned the animated DC Comics DVD and ever since then you sheepishly misconstruded me for liking the "other" Movie that had the same title;Public Enemies, oh and now that you bought it up Mann's Movie was lackluster at best.In other words, I did not like it as it could not hold a candle to his previous work; Heat.And please learn to form a proper sentence when posting..where the fuck are you from, Guam?

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Lockes you heard the man..

    by Stalkeye

    ...stop being such an asshole, ya fucking fat troll of a hypocrite.And yes, you did trash Citizen Kane and Blade Runner but loves you some Wolverine. LMMFAO

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:10 p.m. CST

    People who watch Direct to DVD DC comics movies

    by lockesbrokenleg

    = douchebags.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:13 p.m. CST

    RE: You fuckers are the whiniest people I've ever

    by Stalkeye

    met online.<p>I would say that's like the pot calling the kettle black, but that might come off as "racist".XD<p>C'mon you know that shit was funny, either laugh or i'll break your broken leg.;p

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:15 p.m. CST

    That Last Starfighter cover ar t - shitty

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:21 p.m. CST

    People that like Trannyformers 2

    by Stalkeye


  • Sept. 24, 2009, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Sta;lkeye is so cool he hates every movie and

    by lockesbrokenleg


  • Sept. 24, 2009, 7:14 p.m. CST

    HARRY: you only KINDA like "First Contact"?

    by Tall_Boy66

    Really? Dude, wow. To me, there are three "Best Star Trek movies ever" (with the RT ratings / box office to back it up) - Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek: First Contact, and Star Trek. First Contact is a great Star Trek movie that plays to Trekkies and non-Treked alike, a menacing villain and the right mixture of humour and pathos. Great movie. Don't give it a "kinda". that's weak.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 7:23 p.m. CST

    The TNG movie box set is fantastic

    by lockesbrokenleg

    The bonus disk has a feature that contains a galactic map, and you can travel the route the Enteprise took in the movies, and visit the planets used in the TNG movies. Scenes pop up from the movies when you click on the planets.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 8:32 p.m. CST

    First Contact is bad ass

    by MattmanBegins

    Excellent action movie, never gets old, and has no excess baggage. It's a perfect Trek movie.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Remember when ...

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    ... WATCHMEN was going to change the face of cinema? Can you hear James Cameron sweating? I can.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 9:51 p.m. CST

    I didn't think Watchmen would change much

    by lockesbrokenleg

    TDK had more hype, and it was well deserved. That movie actually lived up to it.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 10:20 p.m. CST

    What We Learned Today

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    Harry would watch his mom masturbate and wouldn't be able to look away (GRACE) and Harry can't count to 4 (PHANTASM 2).

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Just a Joke, Harry

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    We love 'ya.

  • Sept. 24, 2009, 11:46 p.m. CST

    "Rorschach just gave up at the end"

    by DocPazuzu

    Jesus, lockes, have you ever posted anything, and I mean ANYTHING, based on an informed opinion? <p> You are either the most clueless, tasteless film "geek" to ever haunt these boards or the most sublime troll ever. If it's the latter, congratulations. If it's the former, you really need to find another interest because you fail at movies.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, midnight CST

    re Phantasm

    by DocPazuzu

    The R2 Anchor Bay UK set is the way to go. I didn't get the silver sphere edition because I couldn't care less about fancy, unshelvable packaging, but the fantastic content is the same in both sets. Loads of cool extras and all four films in one edition. <p> If ya don't got region free, ya don't got DVD.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:17 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu oh wow, another negative post from you?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    The guy says he hates AICN is here posting almost every day? Go figure.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:23 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    I hate AICN? Really?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:28 a.m. CST

    Rorschach gace up at the end

    by lockesbrokenleg

    He just stands there and lets Manhattan kill him? Why not try to escape. Yes, it will lead to war, but that happened anyway, right? The bombs went off. Then, everyone freaked, and there was peace after that. Besides, the journal was still around at the end. Wouldn't everyone learn what happened anyway?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:33 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    No matter what you think of Watchmen (movie or comic), the fact that you so completely miss the point of Rorschach's demise proves you should never leave your house without a helmet. <p> Did your mom have any kids that lived?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:36 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu why do you insult everybody?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    You're always in these threads insulting people. Did I insult you? What the fuck is your problem?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:42 a.m. CST

    I don't insult everybody.

    by DocPazuzu

    However, your insistence on being the Donny Kerabatsos of talkback would turn anybody into Walter Sobchak.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Um, who the Fuck are those people?

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 1:51 a.m. CST

    Oh dear.

    by DocPazuzu


  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:04 a.m. CST

    Doc, Locke's defense mechanism

    by MattmanBegins

    is claiming EVERYONE ELSE hates everything and everybody, when in reality he's the most notoriously negative talkbacker on AICN.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Oh MattmanBegins, you're the one who talks about

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Watchmen in every Damn thread when no one else does.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:28 a.m. CST

    c'mon now Locke!

    by kungfuhustler84

    You don't know Donny and Walter from the Big Lebowski?<p>The Hustler here. Just writing in to tell everyone to avoid anime catastrophe "Appleseed" at all costs. What a terrible movie.<p>I'm thinkin it's time to wash out the bad tast with some Korean crime cinema. A Bittersweet Life anyone?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:49 a.m. CST

    Spank the Iron Monkey with Guillermo

    by Happyfat73

    Sounds like movie night at the del Toro house is a rather saucy affair.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Is Harry going senile?

    by rbatty024

    Or maybe he was having a stroke while writing this column. I know he's a bad writer, but many of these write ups barely made any sense. What the hell?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Once again, lockesbrokenleg proves that...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...he is the most useless Talkbacker on this site.<P>Quote: "Um, who the Fuck are those people?"<P>Dear lord. MEGA-FAIL.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST, hilarious but true Gaius.

    by Stalkeye

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST


    by Stalkeye

    Which Appleseed version you're talking about? The one from 2006 or the John Woo produced Ex machina? yeah, I remember when we previously mentioned how good that film was (Bittersweet life)Hawaian Organ Donor always had good recommendations when it came to Asian Cinema.<p>So, what did you think of Byung-lee's Storm Shadow? ;)

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Where's ShutTheFuckUpDonny...

    by skimn


  • Sept. 25, 2009, 1:56 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    Almost every horror film since-including DRAG ME TO HELL-is a knat on the hairy ass of AWIL. Good Lord that is a great, great flick. Best werewolf movie ever, and one of the top 5 monster flicks ever.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Doc, Gaius

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Do you two page each other every time there's a helpless talkbacker to be reamed?<p> If questioning Rorschach's motive at the end of Watchmen really makes johnlockesbrokenleg the most ignorant talkbacker of all time, then this place has a higher batting average than I figured.<p> Still, it's nice to see the E-bullies haven't budged an inch in the last 5 or 6 years. That must be one deserted library you work at, Paz. And Igo--, I mean Gaius, just for the sake of shooting the shit: have you ever disagreed with Paz about anything? At all? Feel free to leave the nest sometime or another.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Damn, you guys stiill bitching?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Get over yourselves.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Big Lebowski is another one of those overrated

    by lockesbrokenleg

    pieces of shit movies I don't get either.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Wow. Where have you been? Did The Zone get too stuffy for you?<P>Sepp-dog...haven't you learned anything during your time here at AICN? You are me. I am DocPazuzu. And DocPazuzu is Moriarty.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Oh, and seppukudkurosawa...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...have you actually interacted with lockesbrokenleg? If you get the chance, I promise you won't budge an inch either.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius you are the snobbiest perrson

    by lockesbrokenleg

    I've ever encountered online. You think your ooinions are facts, and you spend all your time here insulting every movie and everybody. Evern Harry;s moved on to Twitter to get away from reading your shit.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenpussy - You are the biggest time waster on this site

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    And you are certainly one of the most repetitive and boorish Talkbackers this place has ever seen. You know why more and more people think you're a clown? Just look at your posts; it's as clear as day.<P>I insult every movie and everyone here? Really? Care to offer any proof (other than yourself) to back-up that ridiculous claim? I'd love to see it considering I'm not on this much these days.<P>And I had no idea I had that kind of influence on Harry. But at least he uses Twitter to tweet...unlike you and AICN.<P>Moron.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Wow, did you just slam AICN

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Learn how to use English shithead.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST

    That was English, fuckface.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    But maybe you can't read. Wouldn't be all that surprising...

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Locke, I thought I was the snobbiest?

    by MattmanBegins

    I'm jealous now.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:24 p.m. CST

    OK, I'll admit it

    by seppukudkurosawa

    lockesbrokenhead is kinda cracked. He's probably been first one two many times, if you know what I mean. But he always hit me as kinda innocuous, like that old man who used to come into the cafe I was working at talking about how one day he'll rid the country of all "those damned for-in-ers."<p> Gaius and Paz, on the other hand, are bonafide bullies. Double-teaming their victims and browbeating all those other strange characters who lurk at the bottom of talkbacks into joining in with them.<p> I'll admit, the Zone has been pretty sucky for a couple of years now, but at least they've got some kinda face behind the posts. Here it's like you've all got some kind of unspoken agreement to jump down each other's throats at every opportunity. So someone said a dumb thing or something that you happen to disagree with?! Whoop-de-doo. There's no need to resort to total extremes and call them out as the dumbest person on the internet.<p> Anyways- on with the feeding frenzy.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Actually, I get a good laugh when I come here

    by lockesbrokenleg

    There's always some wanker comparing Wolverine to Watchmen - two completely different movies. Or someone slamming on the latest blockbuster just because their favorite movie never made a dime.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    If you have to complain about not "getting"...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    'Lebowski' then you are just the simple piece of shit. To you, Lockes, Pee Wee Herman must be a goddamn Millenium Problem.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Oh wow, another AICN bully

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Hold me.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Bonafide internet bullies, eh?

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    *shakes in fear*

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Bonafide internet bullies, eh?...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    *shakes in fear*

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Double post...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    Fuck you.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Locke you were the first wanker to bring up Watchmen

    by MattmanBegins

    What a hypocrite you are. YOU'RE the fucker who first said Wolverine was better than Watchmen. YOU made the first comparison, dumbshit.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 4 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    While it's true that DocPaz and I have been known to "double-team" a Talkbacker or two, I don't know that roasting a Troll constitutes being a "bully". I think I'm/we're a little more selective than you're giving me/us credit for.<P>As for lockesbrokenleg, he's like a gnat. A gnat that uses AICN TB like it's his own personal Twitter account. He's been banned for his antics before and he'll probably be banned again.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    And you're still the same hapless wannabe gadfly with delusions of pertinence. Your faux-casual, world-weary cynic's act was stale the moment you first started posting in talkback. <p> (Psst! This is your cue to disappear and not address me for another year or two while you're working up the nerve again.)

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Watchmen and Wolverine are about the same

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Average superhero movies that are good to watch once, but forgettable.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 4:15 p.m. CST

    MNG and I...

    by DocPazuzu disagree on things, but as far as I can tell it's mostly/only in terms of movies. MNG is good people and an awesome troll smasher. Folks like that are in the minority in talkback so I back them up whenever I can. So fucking what?

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 4:41 p.m. CST

    seppukudkurosawa, MNG and Doc tagteam trolls

    by MattmanBegins

    and there's nothing wrong with that.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Watchmen isn't very good.

    by DennisMM

    Haven't seen Wolverine yet. Will catch it eventually. Can't imagine, based on what I've read, that it can be even as middlingly entertaining as Watchmen. But, please, don't try to push Watchmen as a great film. <P> As for the ending, Rorschach didn't give up. He knew he couldn't escape from Manhattan, so he faced him down, made Manhattan look into's R's eyes as he killed him. That was in keeping with R's philosophy. Thank Alan Moore for it. Moore, BTW, thinks R is a scary bastard with no place in a civilized society.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 5:38 p.m. CST


    by DennisMM

    is the farthest thing from a troll and an intelligent, informed film viewer. Defending an unpopular TBer does not make the man a bad TBer himself.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Agreed about Seppukud

    by Neosamurai85

    Though the sad thing is, I honestly think lockesbrokenleg likes the bullying. It's like forum pony play.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 6:04 p.m. CST

    There's a ton of Lost people in Wolverine

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Charlie, Keamy, etc.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 10:04 p.m. CST

    All due respect, Senior Spielbergio--

    by Lobanhaki

    Though they were likely mostly edited on video tape, they were all filmed. You would know if it were a video source, the shows would have looked like Red Dwarf, or another Eighties or Nineties British Comedy. You know the look. It's hard to miss it. As a rule, if it's on film, they've got a nice, crisp negative, which means the High Def's going to look gorgeous, aside from the issue that most of that stuff's going to be 4/3 (unless they shot wide and composed for full) Today's shows won't have that problem; they're all done wide, sometimes as film, but mostly as hi-def originals. One positive thing about that: seamless digital compositing.

  • Sept. 25, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    see headline.

  • Sept. 26, 2009, 2:56 a.m. CST


    by MandrakeRoot

    You'd have to be an idiot not to "get" Observe and Report. It's just foul humor played straight just like Jody Hills other awful movie, The Foot Fist Way. Although I will say I liked O&R bit more then TFFW...but that's still not saying much. <p> As for Misery, yes I've read the book, and yes it's better (like always), but it's still a fine movie adaptation. But what's really funny is Harrys comments. Yoko is Annie Wilkes?? Yeah right, I'm sure she's trying real hard to keep you around. I think you got it backwards there big guy. And WTF is up with your mother/sybian comment? You would keep watching something like that? That's some fucking sick ass incest shit right there Harry, and you've managed to lose even more self-respect.

  • Sept. 26, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Hey, Harry

    by OBSD

    Whatever happened to Yoko's music column? I quite liked it and have thoroughly enjoyed several of her recommendations. Just wanted to let you know that as long ago as it was and as short lived as it was, I enjoyed it.

  • Sept. 26, 2009, 3:55 p.m. CST

    US Import or UK American Were Wolf in London

    by drunkenmonkey73

    I like the Art work for the US import, and I am unsure if the US version has any extra stuff on it.

  • Sept. 26, 2009, 8:36 p.m. CST


    by stalepie

    I watched Harry masturbate with the Sybian and get a prostate 'gasm, if you want to see the video, cum inside my twit @

  • Sept. 26, 2009, 8:39 p.m. CST

    Chucky 1

    by stalepie

    Have only seen Child's Play, the original, and thought it was *meant* to be funny. Almost positive it is, especially how Chucky keeps coming back at the end. Fun movie...

  • Sept. 27, 2009, 1:18 a.m. CST

    All your movies are full of suck

    by ElvisPresLeeHorsleyHarveyOswaldOprahWinFreeJackHorkheimer

    Liver stuffed into a mason jar.<br /> Now THATS good fuckin' A cows tongue or Lockes_Busted_Up_Cunny are always a second serving of cum-didly death trousers with a "mostly stupid" and a "port of insincere" kind of total man ass gesture.

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Harry: tutored by Bill Clinton's vocal coach and Leo Gorcey...

    by thegreatwhatzit

    As great a film as AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON is… is how great the transfer is...

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 2:53 a.m. CST

    DeadGirl on XBox360/Netflix in HD

    by Zardoz

    For those who have the XBox Live gold accounts and Netflix. Pretty sweet!

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 9:37 a.m. CST

    didnt get a screener..boohoo!

    by FleshMachine

    why even list the film if you cant even review it???

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 9:41 a.m. CST

    is harry illiterate?'s embarassing.

    by FleshMachine

    how can someone who writes for a living be this bad? do american schools teach english grammar???

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by we_pray_for_mad_skillz

    I don't get it. How does Harry's ignorance make me Kevin Smith? I can't stand Kevin Smith, so I'd really like to know what you think the connection might be. Are you one of those people who hate on the movie because Fox sued Watchmen? X-Men Origins: Wolverine did rock, not matter who Fox sued. Sorry.

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by we_pray_for_mad_skillz

    I don't get it. How does Harry's ignorance make me Kevin Smith? I can't stand Kevin Smith, so I'd really like to know what you think the connection might be. Are you one of those people who hate on the movie because Fox sued Watchmen? X-Men Origins: Wolverine did rock, not matter who Fox sued. Sorry.

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Damn, a let's all bash on lockesbrokenrecord moment

    by Stabby

    and I missed it. Can we start it up again? I thought you said Watchmen sucked, lockes? Now, you're saying it was average? Contradict yourself much?

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    IRON MONKEY Is Not Worth Buying.

    by Harry Weinstein

    Cut version. Rescored. Subtitles are a story-changing travesty, just like HERO. The only one of these Asian Miramax Blu-Rays worth buying is ZATOICHI, and I hated that piece of shit.

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 3:52 p.m. CST

    DRUNKEN MASTER should have "I'll kick your ass to hell!"

    by MrMysteryGuest

    That's a funny line! You should buy it just for that!

  • Sept. 28, 2009, 4:57 p.m. CST

    "I'll kick your ass to HERR"

    by TakingScorpiosCalls

    Would be the correct pronunciation. racism OUT!

  • Sept. 29, 2009, 1:44 a.m. CST


    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    You ever see that article in the major newspaper review of V FOR VENDETTA that used your name?

  • Sept. 29, 2009, 8:39 p.m. CST

    JORDAN LADD Used To Have Really Big Breasts

    by Red Dawn Don

    Jordan LaDD used to have really big breasts. She had a major breast reduction at age 16. It is WEIRD that she is in the film (GRACE) that features breast-feeding and breast damage. Maybe the baby is suppose to be the equivalent of her doctor doing the damage.