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Capone says JENNIFER'S BODY slashes and burns!!!
Hey, folks. Capone in Chicago here.
What kills me about this Diablo Cody-written horror comedy is that I know Cody (an Oscar winner for her first screenplay JUNO) loves horror movies. We talked about them at length when she was in Chicago a couple years back doing press for that film. She told me as much as she could about a horror script she had already finished and was working with her Juno director (Jason Reitman, acting as producer here) on finding money and a director. But there's no doubt in my mind that Cody is a tried and true horror aficionado. This is why is actually pains me to report that JENNIFER'S BODY is a mess, plain and simple--a horror film with too many jokes to be scary, and trying too hard to be earnest and meaningful to be funny. And what may shock some of you is that none of the blame for the film's failure belongs to star Megan Fox, who puts in pretty solid work as a seductive hottie who seduces high school boys and then eats them.
Cody's love of horror shines through in her script, but it does so in a bizarre way. It's as if she was afraid to lift too directly from any recognizable favorites, so instead she has created something bland and without much in the way of terror or even original gore. The story is actually told from the perspective of Needy (MAMMA MIA's Amanda Seyfried), Jennifer's best friend since preschool. Needy has a boyfriend, and while she is undoubtedly pretty, she would be considered the plain friend next to the porn starish Jennifer (Fox). The two sort of make sense as friends. Jennifer brings out the slightly crazy side in Needy, while Needy tempers Jennifer's party girl insane behavior. The two go to a bar one night to see a band play and the place literally burns to the ground, killing dozens of people. But the band seems far more concerned with making sure Jennifer gets in their van to supposedly take her to the hospital. But when we see Jennifer again, she's covered in blood and vomiting black, spiky bile. Needy is terrified of what is happening to her friend, but by the next morning Jennifer seems like her old self with perhaps a touch more bitch built in.
It doesn't take long for us to see Jennifer start her clandestine killing spree of boys in her school, as she lures them with the promise of sex and then rips giant chunks of flesh off their bones with her enormous teeth. While I certainly love the idea that Cody has turned the tables on typical slasher or monster movies that almost always feature female victims, watching these otherwise harmless boys die didn't really do anything for me. These aren't the school bullies or thugs or boys who in any way wronged Jennifer. They're just boys. Compare JENNIFER'S BODY to something like TEETH, which is the ultimate female-empowerment horror metaphor, and it just seems week and pointless. To make matters worse, director Karyn Kusama (GIRLFIGHT, AEON FLUX) doesn't really have a clue how to direct a scare movie. Scenes are set up for big scares, but then mangled so much by the editing that we lose the best moments for screams.
The best thing about JENNIFER'S BODY is the casting. Fox and Seyfried deliver pretty terrific performances overall. Fox does know how to keep things sexy and bitchy, while still giving some zing to Cody's distinctive and sometimes funny dialogue. Seyfried is good at burying her looks and sunshiny personality, as she's required to here. She's meant to be the girl who blends in, but she's also required to get increasingly anxious and gutsy as the film progresses. I also really like toupee-sporting J.K. Simmons (big surprise) as one of the girls' teachers. He's got what I believe is a painful-to-the-ears Minnesota accent and a hook hand. I don't know how you could ask for more. But these great acting touches don't quite make up for the shortfall in the writing. The script and its ideas feel dated, and I kind of wish Cody had maybe given it another pass to make it feel fresh and relevant. In its current state, JENNIFER'S BODY feels choppy, disjointed and void of many screams or laughs. I was an unapologetic lover of JUNO from Day 1, and I'm mad about Cody's TV series, "The United States of Tara," but this one just doesn't cut it. I'm disappointed as both a horror lover and a Diablo admirer. I guess I'll have to satisfy myself with her entertaining Tweets and pop-culture columns in Entertainment Weekly until the next script.
-- Capone
capone@aintitcoolmail.com
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I want to see Megan Fox nekkid,
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I had a passing interest in this, but I guess I'll just wait for the DVD/Blu.
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I mean, give me a break. We knew we weren't exactly getting Fright Night in terms of quality. It's a Megan Fox film - expectations can only be so high - or rather so low, whichever way you look at it. She's hot, she's not a bad actress despite daft comments, but she's not a great one either - not yet anyway. Jennifer Connolly she isn't. And Diablo Cody is seriously overrated. Juno got a lot of press, but it really didn't do anything for me - it was no different from any of the current slew of dramedies doing the rounds, so knowing she did this didn't exactly fill me with confidence.
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Fox + Nude = Fast moving hands
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...I will still be renting it, as I'm doing a thesis on the effects of being a repeated voyeur to demonic lesbianism between blondes and brunettes. It's a field of study I take very seriously. It's maligned academically, it's underfunded and the source material can be hard to find without an internet connection but on the plus side, I've got a right arm the size of Schwarzenegger - so you know, swings and roundabouts.
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I'll wait and judge this one for myself.
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The trailer had me intrigued too. But I remember thinking: Either this will rock or suck ass. Won't be a middle ground. Sadly I was right but it is wrong. And I dig Cody too. maybe next time, Diablo.
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For fucks sake Capone, you've got the name of the director wrong. It's Karyn Kusama.
How do I know this? Well AICN did a massive interview with her and it's posted below.
You fucking guys make me despair sometimes. Amateur hour here.
Change the spelling in your article and then delete this post pls. -
Well played, Moriarty. Well played.
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I am going to wait on this film for rental. I do think its going to be funny.
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And I adore BUFFY. Can't wait to check this out tomorrow...
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-- where Archie and Veronica can embrace Diablo's witticisms and remember once upon a time when a one-time stripper made good on a script that only acquired it's emotional resonance because of Jason Reitman...
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Jesus h christ Capone. Isn't this like your job to know this?
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I can tell she's a true lover of film so yes it is too bad. I sometimes hold a grudge against bad directors/writers. But I just can't in this case. This instance is forgivable. She should have cut her teeth a bit more in the industry and done another couple of Juno-like films or something. Oh well.
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Still pisses me off. Jenny Juno was a Korean movie in almost the exact frame of Cody's Juno. Came out a couple years earlier too. Pregnant teen, high school angst, giving up the baby to other parents. WTF????? Did none of these fucking Oscar voters see this or even know it existed. And she won for ORIGINAL screenplay. Only difference is the boy's name is Juno. Check It out. With that broad winning a fucking Oscar somebody, somewhere, must've got some vicious head from this ex-stripper. She is kinda cute though, lol
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No waterfall can hold me, Holmes.
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...for a poor script. Anyway Juno was annoying and I sure wouldn't watch this. If I want to see a hot chick, I can watch porn.
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I don't see why anyone would think a Diablo Cody horror film would be anything but terrible.
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I know 3 stars is a borderline thumbs up, but c'mon.
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Bush jokes?
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Thanks for that. Too bad its gonna be hard as shit to find to watch. Netflixs has another movie by that same director though.
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Sep 18, 2009 9:46:15 AM CDT
Well, that answers the question I posed in the other talkback.
by royston lodge
I guess I'm not interested in seeing this one after all. Megan Fox's performance is actually solid, but the rest of the movie sucks? That's really disappointing.
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Fright Night shoutout! Woot!
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Really? Teeth is the "ultimate female empowerment movie"? I thought Teeth was a dumb as shit horror/comedy about a girl with teeth in her crotch who lives in Rape Town USA(credit to an unknown talkbacker for that one). Seriously, I know almost everyone on this site that reviewed it loved that movie but come the fuck on. From the kiddie pool scene at the begging to the very end of the movie EVERY guy that comes close to this chick tries to rape or molest her,and thats female empowerment? I'll rent Jennifer's Body but damn if the reviews on this site aren't getting stranger every day, exhibit A : GI Joe .
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...before year's end. Mark my words.
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...frankly NEEDS to be mentioned in every single talkback about a current horror movie. It is that awesome. Frankly, every single horror movie review on this entire site should end with the words "...and of course, it's not as good as Fright Night." But then, dear reader, How COULD it be??
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1. Release it in September. Movies released between the 15th of August and thanksgiving are 99% garbage that can't make it any other time of year. 2. Have an ex-stripper who likes sarcasm try to write a horror movie based on flag girls. 3. Have the movie lead be an overblown starlet that can't act her way out of a douche box. Formula for success? No. It's a harbinger of a doomed flick. I am sure it will be on cable soon enough.
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That's really not saying much as the role isn't exactly a stretch.
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..have you guys seen Mysterious Skin with Joseph Gordon Levitt? That movie provides the answer and the truth behind all those who claim to have been abducted by aliens. The movie is pretty out there, and JGL fucks and sucks about 20 dudes in the movie starting from childhood...but it's a good story and has great acting despite the heavy, uncomfortable subject matter. But yeah, don't watch it during movie night with the fam.
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of course I'm talking about Cotex...er, I mean Cody.Juno was garbage and DiaBLOW comes off a bit arrogant.At least Megan admits that she's batshit.She's not that convincing an actress IMO Summer (Glau) is much better and all she recently played was a fucking Cyborg.Nonce called it, she (Cody)will soon return to giving 'jobs.Both handjobs and blowjobs....Over 2 Million served.
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Sep 18, 2009 10:06:14 AM CDT
Hint of, Fright Night should have a dedicated talkback!!!!!!
by soylentmean
Peter Vincent is one of my (many) favorite Horror movie characters. Fright Night, Fright Night part 2, and Salem's Lot are a great triple feature!
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...Kinda cute? NAW! If she really was a stripper, she was strictly the Tueday-Thursday afternoon, pre-Happy Hour shift.
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Smegs and I hijacked somebody's talkback weeks ago and had a big Fright Night fest. Quotes abounded! "You have to have FAITH for that to work, Mister Vincent."
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All future scripts by her should be shot into the sun via space-cannon.
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at-least all you horny pervs. (like me).
It could be a movie about Megan Fox sitting on a couch all the time and watching the History channel and I would still watch it. -
Cody strikes me as a poser when it comes to the horror genre. This film looks weak in every way, and Fox, while certainly pretty, is about as one note as they come. Hopefully she'll get a chance to act a bit more in that upcoming Hex flick.
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Megan Fox doesn't watch The History Channel. She doesn't even know how to work the remote.
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... a fucking hack. Juno was ham-fisted as hell and WAY over-rated. For her lack of subtlety, you would think that this would be her forte. This only proves her lack of talent. But I would like to see her on film- naked as hell from her days as a slutty stripper.
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Totally agree with you about Teeth. Was not that good, nor that empowering, except for maybe the end. I guess it only takes trying to be raped a bunch before you realize what you can do. Girls are so slow.
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You mean Flagets.
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diablo cody. no suprise there. it astonished me how quickly people hated Juno. but this being the net im not so suprised.
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I go to movies to see acting, not robo bitches.
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Of "I spit on your grave". Synopsis: Woman is treated badly, then goes around getting revenge on her attackers by castration. In this case, it was vaginal dentata, not a kitchen knife. The only original part is that her va jay jay did the deed.
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He gave David Lynch's Mulholland Drive 4 stars and said it was Lynch's best while his trashing of Blue Velvet is legendary.
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but it has no rewatch value because subsequent viewings expose Diablo Cody for the hack she really is. The main problem I have with Juno is that it was absurdly even nominated for an Academy Award to begin with let alone win one.
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That's because Juno was crap. I didn't even watch it until a few months ago, so it was somewhat post hype, and it was still one of the most mind numbingly annoying movies I've seen a long time. I've never disliked a main character as much as I disliked Juno. On a side note, how many of you are seriously considering paying ten bucks and watching this movie to see side boob of a girl you can see on the Internet for free? No one's actually that pathetic. Right?
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Who talks like that? Not even kids talk like that. With that said I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't hate Juno and I think Jennifers Body looks pretty fun.
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That's because Mulholland Dr. is Lynch's best.
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Where the title character of this will also be filling her mouth with meat.
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If I ever met anybody who talked like that in my average day to day life, i'd probably projectile vomit all over them.Just a reflex. I feel the same way about the people on that shit MTV calls reality shows, and the people who watch them. The Hills,The Real World...... the only people that watch that are herpes ridden club whores.It gives them something to do during the day while they are recovering from the side effects of to many roofies and random blow jobs,or as they call it "mono" . That had nothing to do with this talkback. I apologize.
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I was going to see this, but the bad reviews and the epic awfulness of "Juno" is keeping me away.
And since I'm, uh ... not unfamiliar with strip clubs, Diablo Cody was probably the kind of stripper you watch work the pole, but skip the lapdance. -
Did anyone even see AEon Flux?
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My impression was that the film wanted to be HEATHERS with a supernatural edge. It wanted to be a satire of traditional high school horror movies and small town culture. However, it failed as satire. It failed as horror. And it failed as a comedy. There were a couple of intriguing ideas, but they get pushed aside for the more mundane ones. Also, Diablo Cody's self-consciously "quirky" dialogue was VERY annoying. My 2 cents.
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No, but I did see heavy Metal. We need Tarna: the terrakian movie. MMM...Boobs....
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Not that I'm in any way saying this = ED2, but honestly does ANYONE find ED2 scary? It's an awesome movie, but a horror flick? It's a dark comedy /w horror trappings, much like Dead Alive or Shawn of the Dead. So please clarify: Was it seriously not that funny, or were you just sad it wasn't "ZOMG HORROR!!!!!!!"?
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A sample of dialogue: "It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been fucking?"
If that made you laugh, then you might like the film. -
wild at heart is lynch's best
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Megan Fox is sailing on her porn star looks, and will soon fade away a la Tara Reid. Natalie Portman smashes Megan Fox into the stratosphere with looks, talent, and longevity. BOOM! ROASTED!
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Now that's a real Woman's revenge tale
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Sep 18, 2009 11:59:54 AM CDT
You shouldn't lose your temper, Charley. It isn't polite.
by hint_of_smegma
Soylent, Sodomy...(two words that go together surprisingly well, there)....props for afficianado's of true, great horror films. I am gonna watch my copy of Nosferatu this afternoon in tribute, as it looks like I'm sure as fuck not going to see Jennifer's body. AND HARRY< MORIARTYs age. Fuck, they should STILL be playing it in cinemas.
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HARRY>MORIARTY>WRYM etc.......for the love of God set up a dedicated FRIGHT NIGHT Talkback - if ever there was a genre film that deserved it, that's the one. We get the movie a week column, it's great - what about something similar for classics the geeks like us love? Fright Night, Vamp, Monster Squad, Critters, Gremlins and on and on.........we could have some fun with that.
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Soft core porn without the porn. Horror film without the scares. It can suck my dick. Megan Fox can suck my dick (literally).
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They both make me want to punch someone. I'm gonna go with Aeon Flux. Ultraviolet had that WTFtastic scene where she flies through a helicopter on a motorcycle (as in, in one door and out the other) and it explodes for NO FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER.
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Think most people going to see this crappy-looking movie will be for that and then be very disappointed.
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I couldn't tell you since I couldn't sit through either one.
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Aeon Flux at least let you play "Let's compare the animated show with the movie!" game. Ultraviolet was...uh, Milla we love you, but that film made Resident Evil 3 look like the Godfather 2.
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The United States Of Tara at least features individuals who actually speak like human beings, not like voiceboxes for screenwriters who think they're hip and edgy..."What's up, Vagisil? Where's it at, Monistat?"...Thats dialogue pulled from a review for Body. MAKE ME PUKE.
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She looks deformed. Barf.
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Otherwise, it's a rental.
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I remember reading an interview in Starlog about... 18 years ago. It was with a young writer with a short pedigree, who had penned an upcoming horror-comedy, one with a stupid title that I had decided to dismiss. The writer impressed me greatly - he knew his craft, knew the genre, and as he pitched the film to the interviewer, he sold me on that film. I went to see it opening weekend, and I might've been the only one. The film tanked, and deserved to. It was a mess of a film, that made the horror funny, and the funny... not. I was very disappointed, but I also know where the writer sits on Hollywood's totem pole. For years I was left wondering if the writer was just a passionate, informed geek without the talent to bring his ideas to life, or if it was a hack director, actor ego, and studio influence that sabotaged his story. Five years later I got my answer, as the writer turned the failed film with a ridiculous title into a successful tv series, and the writer became a geek icon. This is not to say Diablo is going to be the next Joss - she might just have gotten lucky with Juno (especially given the talent that actually worked on the film), but two movies just isn't enough to make any real conclusion.
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Love Fright Night, but referencing it here is doing it a disservice. This movie is gonna suck. But have you seen the cover of the new Rolling Stone? Mama Pajama!
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Diablo already won an Oscar. Joss can't even write Womder Woman.
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...I still must see this movie. Yes, Megan Fox is very pretty, but am I the only one who thinks Amanda S. is WAY SEXIER? I actually prefer brunettes as a rule, but damn, there is just something about AS that kills me. Gorgeous smile, killer bod, looks even hotter in glasses! So this flick has my cash no matter what.
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Still....I will watch anything with Luscious megan in it. I'll just wait to rent the Blu-ray at some point.
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Let me add my voice to chorus: it's not even close. I mean, I know that the unofficial AICN mantra is something like, "we're not journalists, we're fans," but Jesus. When given the choice to take 30 seconds and research the correct spelling of a few names and look sort of like a professional or skip it and take your chances and look like a hack and an amateur and blow your credibility, I can't imagine why you'd ever pick the second option. Don't get me wrong, I love the site, been coming here ten years, I never care if some other site runs a story first and the talkbacks are often great comic relief during my workday, but c'mon. It's called IMDB, ever heard of it?
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Sep 18, 2009 3:17:43 PM CDT
Megan Fox will continue to highlight your insecurities
by cylon_conspiracy
for years to come. If I was a fanboy, I would use this opportunity to be ok that you will never fuck her, and that she can be an ok person even if you don't have a chance in hell with her. This will make you more easy-going, and more likely to be able to chill with hot girls without having a nervous breakdown, ending your endless frustrating rants of "she's a bitch!" "She's a ho!" "She's a dum-dum-head!" You are welcome to this free advice.
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That guy will make it big some day...
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with a name like cylon_conspiracy? i beg to differ...
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I am_NOTREAL, yeah man I posted Capone's schoolboy error 7 hour ago and he hasn't changed it. So either he chucks his reviews online and doesnt read or give a fuck what people think of them, or he does know he got it wrong and simply doesn't care.
Either way... WHAT A FUCKING AMATEUR. -
Sep 18, 2009 4:18:19 PM CDT
TedKord...Fright Night is impervious to association with crap.
by hint_of_smegma
Mentioning it as often as possible only elevates the coolness level, anywhere it occurs. Plus, it's good to mitigate the loss of a potentially decent horror flick to the reality of the majority of them being utter shit by comforting ourselves with a mention of the genre's pinnacle in perfection. Let's face it - the weakness of this film is highlighted by comparing it to Fright Night - Charley and Peter Vincent wouldn't put up with this demon Jennifer, they'd kick her arse back to hell in seconds of meeting her - she's no genuine movie monster like Jerry Dandridge. You can gauge a horror film by the simple question - "How long would it take Peter Vincent to beat this?" Here - not long, friends, not long at all.
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I thought we all agreed last month that the plain best friend was to be known as the 'Mooglie'.
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I was looking on IMDB and Wikipedia to find out where the cast is now. The one surprise is that "Evil ed" was a gay porn star for quite a while. Either way, fright night was cool back in the day. "My neighbor is a VAMPIRE!"
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...then I'll reeeeeeeeally pass.Like a good stripper, she's got one move (her cutesy dialogue) and she does it well. But after you see the act once, no need to see it again. Onto the next.
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if free booze was guaranteed before viewing. Even after that I'm sure it'd still be extremely hard to watch.
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Good point. And I really like your method of testing horror movies.
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BWAH-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fucking weak.
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Classic.
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Redundant much?
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Seriously- I never realized that this site was populated with only homosexual men until I saw the reactions to Megan Fox. I think I would pay to watch her read the back of a pop tarts box, as long as she looked in to the camera once in a while and at the end, after finishing with wheat flour and potassium or something, while looking in to the camera, said "Please bend me over and fuck me hard." Now THAT would make on hell of a pop tarts commercial!
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I'd rather see this than some fool who's a black Mrs Doubtfire in all his movies hit #1.
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He's going to do the plot and story, but Cody will do the dialogue.
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you are easily entertained. you would pay to see that? wow, you can see better than that on the internet for free. p.s. hot chicks are a dime a dozen. megan fox is nothing speacial
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You know, Cody is probably better at dialog than Lucas. Evidence? the past 3 SW films. "It's not Shakespeare"--Natalie Portman on her Star wars dialog.
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I am also a fan of this testing method. Additionally, "I'll be coming over as often as I feel like. With your mother's kind permission, of course."
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I know we have disagreed in the past, but your "hot chicks are a dime a dozen" comment is the truest thing I have read here in awhile.
Note for guys who accuse others of being gay for not going gaga over her: the only people who so obsessed with one girl are the ones who have no options. A starving man drools and obsesses over a steak, a well fed man realizes that he can always get another opportunity to eat one later. -
Was there an '80s horror movie with a better soundtrack?
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Well said, sir. I would agree and add the fact that there are even hot girls out there who are fun. Nice. Pleasant to spend time with, and not unappreciative bitch-cunts like Miss Fox. That's why some of us say "pass."
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Sep 18, 2009 6:41:55 PM CDT
It IS dumb to drool over just one girl, but this is Megan Fox
by cylon_conspiracy
Totally different category. Celebrate God's handiwork in creating her.
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I am not saying you can't find her attractive or that you can't admit it; I am saying that accusing people of being "gay" for not going nuts over is basically outing yourself as a virgin or someone who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a $1000 stapled to your head.
Everyone has their own taste - be it movies or in pieces of ass. Why worry about what other people like? -
I don't think you have accused anyone of being gay, so obviously that comment is not meant for you specifically.
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Sep 18, 2009 6:58:13 PM CDT
I just think the vitriolic hate for Fox is from insecurity
by cylon_conspiracy
No, I didn't say anyone was gay. You don't even have to find her attractive. You could even find her a Plane Jane. I just think all the "she's a stupid bitch! What a whore!" type of hate is a little "I think dude protests too much".
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Does anyone have any questions they want to ask her? I mean, after she completes her task, of course!
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MUTHAFUCKAS!!!
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her cuntyness is a huge boner letdown.
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Superfly Style, Ni99as!
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Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just quoted Seinfled. Damn I'm lame!
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I actually agree. I think their is three types of criticism directed towards Jennifer's Body and the people who made it:
Legitimate criticism based on the people involved and their track record (thinking Juno was overrated, thinking Megan Fox can't act, or thinking the film looks dumb).
A feeling of something being forced on them and rejecting/rebelling against the Hollywood spin machine (Diabo Cody being the next big thing, Megan Fox is the hottest thing around, etc.)
And finally, undiluted misogyny. A bunch of guys who can't get laid and hate any woman who is more successful than they are. I think you can tell that the last group is probably the most numerous one here, and I think you can tell which ones fit that category just by their post. -
The actual pop tart!
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The man spouts wisdom.
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And I don't mean just here at AICN.
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But you got to admit, cylon does have a point. The post on this TB that are critical are almost exclusively directed to the fact that they are women.
Michael Bay is criticized for being a talentless hack and racist for what he had in his films, not for being an slut because he was an ex-stripper or being a cunt whore. Very little criticism here is directly linked up to their talent or past work and almost everything is directed to the fact they have vaginas.
But I wouldn't put it past AsimovLives to call Jar Jar Abrams an ex-stripper slut and a cunt whore. -
I, personally, think she's one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood in a long time, I think the buzz about her is warranted. And who knows if she can act, she's still young. I think she's fairly clever and funny in her interviews.
Which leads to what bothers me, and that's assuming that someone is fundamentally stupid or untalented, just because their picture and name is all over the place. For whatever reason, the wholesale judgment of another human being just seems weird to me. -
I could care less about the misogynist pussyless fucktards in this talkback.
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I'm concealing her name because real men don't receive oral pleasantries and tell.
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Yes, yes it does-you AGREE, and therefore-
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would make this much more interesting.
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Said it before and I'll say it again. Would a horror flick about a dowtrodden put upon male who manifests a supernaturally endowed spiked member, and uses it to "punish" lecherous goldigging females be lauded for its triumphant theme of male empowerment? Or would it just be sick. Not necessarily knockin the film. A horror flick can be a horror flick (inluding being sick). Just not feelin the bogus pseudointellectual "girl power" shtick everyone seems to want to keep pimpin. Especially when the movie's premise puts forth what couldnt be more of a chauvinist conciet. That a women's "power", her "strength", her "weapon", dwells strictly between her legs.
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Sep 18, 2009 8:22:43 PM CDT
a women's "power", her "strength", her "weapon", dwells strictly
by powerring
Well, it's a pretty potent weapon, even without teeth. If she was ugly or had both sets of genitals, she just would not be able to influence too many men. (peer to peer that is)
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"Move on.org"...Fox to Seyfried, telling her to get over the deaths in the school. Not "honest to blog" bad, but still awful. And dated. My main problem with the film is that Amanda Seyfried is just too pretty to be a nerd just because she wears glasses. She's prettier than Megan Fox, imo, and wouldn't be the plain girl in any school.
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Fuck that. Juno had a decent cast but was still ruined by Cody's precious, trying-too-hard-to-be-quirky dialogue, and that book she wrote before that sucked as well.You know, seriously, I know some of y'all are so hung up on MF you need to see everything but she's a rising star, she's going to be in a lot the next two or three years, relax.
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Clownpenis.fart
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It was allright. I think I'll like it more on subsequent viewings. MY friend thought it was awesome, but about the middle point of the film I started wishing Wes Craven had directed it instead. There are NO scary scenes at all. Its not horror, and that was very disappointing.
And I have a problem with Megan's character. She did a great job acting, but she's a bitch the entire movie. There is no emotional arc for her character. Had she been a nice girl before the demonic possession, then we'd be sympathetic toward her and Amanda Seyfried's "Needy" character. But as it stands, Megan is a bitch in the beginning and a bitch at the end. The only difference after the possession is that she now eats boys. But is it the demon eating the boys? Or Megan? Its hard to tell. There's no difference bt the Megans pre and post possession.
That also makes it hard to really feel and understand the relationship between the two "best friends". Had Megan been a nice girl at the start, it'd be easier to see why its sad that these two girls are having a falling out. But from the start you wonder why these two are friends, it makes no sense.
Great soundtrack though. -
I know you said that you liked it, at least enough to watch it at least two more times, but your description made it sound horrible. Not that your description was bad, or that you didn't articulate yourself, but what you described sounds like a fucking weak movie.
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I said it was allright, but I think I might like it more with extra viewings. As it stands, I was disappointed. And if my "review", which is not what that description was intended to be, was weak... well, I am drinking as I write =). Here's the thing: I wanted a quirky horror film, but I didn't get it. There's no horror. There;s no gore, there's no nudity. I wanted Wes Craven to direct this film bc I felt that the script deserved the same tone as "SCREAM" did. As I watched, this movie felt like SCREAM's cousin- the humor, the characters, the lines, the horrific circumstances. But nothing feels scary, nothing feels very horrific. And again, I think they dropped the ball with Megan's character. We never see her as a nice girl, so when she's possessed, we don't see a difference. Honestly, I'm still not sure if what we saw was a demon in Megan's body or just Megan's character eating guys. I think it was the latter. And we never see Megan's parents until the end of the movie. At one point they just skirt the idea that these hot high school girls are really insecure deep down. But they quickly brush that point aside. It would have been more interesting and involving and emotionally satisfying had we seen some of Megan's homelife. A cheating father perhaps, a drunk mom, parents that run her down and never feel she's good enough, etc. Something, ANYTHING. Even parents that think she's the greatest thing at everything. Anything to back up the idea that these hot bitches really have low self-esteem. That would have elevated the film in my eyes.
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NO, no no. Your review wasn't weak. It sound like the movie is, that's all. I saw a sneak preview of Zombieland last night. That was hilarious and violent. In fact, I'd say that it's the funniest movie I've seen all year.
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Thanks for clarifying; I misread your post in my drunken stupor. I'm very much looking forward to ZombieLand, so I'm glad to hear someone enjoyed it.
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Internet shots are the best thing of this film. Movie sucks bad. My friend always drags me to his piece of ass movies that always seem good in theory.
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lol sorry,had to do it. sorry,but i'll definitely be passing on this one. Megan Fox and Zoey DeSchawhatever her f'in name is should have terrible act off. it would go on for years w/no clear winner. i'd still eat both of their hairy taints though
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Not the bitch or the slut or the hot girl with a heart of gold who knows how to work on engines. Just someone "normal". That would turn a lot of opinions around on her.
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I guess not. Or they edited that shot out, for whatever reason. Honestly, I'm not sure why this movie was rated R at all. I can only remember one use of the F-word.
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I figured she'd eat them while fucking. That would have been more interesting. DEFINITELY more entertaining.
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The flashback scene that HAS to be shot in that wide-open aperture mode so that everything is blurry and herky jerky, the same thing you see in every CSI episode that shows the murder as it happens.
I hate that style. I think its cheesy and overused at this point in time. When I shoot flashbacks, they're going to look and feel real, as if they're happening in real time. That way you don't feel so removed from it. The smart pple in the audience will KNOW its a flashback. I don't need to make it look weird so they'll understand it. -
Sep 18, 2009 11:23:10 PM CDT
It must have been a giant stretch for Megan Fox to play a hot de
by liesandpicturesofalsolies
So she's read an acting book since Transformers?! This would be much more interesting if Amanda Seyfried was Jennifer and anyone else played Needy. The script is funny but the basic idea needs to be more than a basic 80s slasher plot BUT BOYS AND GIRLS ARE SWITCHED OMG. Also the tone shifts wildly and though Kusama claims that is on purpose, didn't really make the experience more awesome fore me.
Unrelated, Diablo Cody is hotter than Megan Fox. Goodnight. -
Sep 18, 2009 11:31:14 PM CDT
Diablo Cody is Urban Dictionary's most frequent visitor
by bbbbeeeennnn
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...it was better than Star Trek.
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The key term is empowerment. Who is it empowering? A disenfranchised group = women.
The point of empowerment is to give "power" to a group of people who do not feel they are treated equally. And usually this invovles transforming the feature that excludes them of makes them different (this case the vagina, because that is the number one feature that identifies a woman as a woman).
When the Black Power Movement, they didn't say "We are beautiful!" or "African American's are Beautiful" , they said "Black is Beautiful." They took the one trait that made identified who they were and turned in into an empowerment symbol.
That is why "Teeth" is an empowerment fantasy.
Of course, saying it is a "good" empowerment fantasy is a completely different topic... -
Sep 19, 2009 12:16:31 AM CDT
Fuck my last post had a lot of typos and grammar errors
by continentalop
Sign for me to go out and get a drink.
Have a nice Friday Night gentleman. -
I can't stand Megan Fox. She actually drives me from films. If she hadn't have come back, I might have seen Transformers: RotF. She just seems like a worthless example of humanity, whose only asset is looking fake... and as soon as a wrinkle, fat cell or someone better comes along she'll be on the street sucking diseased cock for scraps and a piss soaked blanket to stay warm through the cold winter nights of a Has Been. Yet, we're all compelled to bash Diablo Cody... what a world.
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I thought they might do something dumb like Amanda Seyfried is a crazy bitch that imagined Megan was a monster.....I'm glad they stuck to the supernatural element.....was it a "good" movie? That's debatable. Will I buy it on blu-ray? Well, I like to have a-b repeat on my movies, and for some reason fox, paramount and now even warner bros (since The Dark Knight) doesn't have a-b repeat usable on their blu-rays, at last on my ps3. Does anyone else have this "problem"?
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Sep 19, 2009 12:29:43 AM CDT
Does this movie have shitty motherfucking Moldy Peaches
by burnhollywood
...On the soundtrack?
Speaking of feminist power trips, their music is like chemical castration...two songs by them, and your penis is a useless, floppy expanse of flesh. -
They only have one album, and it came out 8 years ago. And yes they had a whopping one song on the Juno Soundtrack. Kimya Dawson had a bunch more. But honestly, that soundtrack was much better than that turd of a movie deserved.
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So maybe it's a problem with you and your floppy useless penis and not a band that broke up 6 years ago.
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That somehow Megan and Amanda switched consciousnesses by the end. That would have explained the beginning.
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She plays this character really well. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but I enjoyed her in this movie.
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I also thought something along those lines initially also....that since it was a "demon" in her body, it would now be in Amanda's body like that old denzel fliq "Fallen." Either way it was ok, I saw the azn chick protestor from Juno and of course J Jonah Jameson ;) but I didn't see Cody, I heard she was a bartender in it.
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But she is in the initial establishing scenes of the bar while Amanda is describing it in VO. There's a medium CU shot of Diablo sitting at the bar, staring right into the camera. Also, my friends seem to think that Chip the Boyfriend's little sister was the Ladybird toddler from Juno.
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You need to talk this Moldy Peaches shit out with your 300 lb boy- or girlfriend man, and not air shit like that out in public. And I'm glad they broke up. I hope it was messy, protracted and involved shotguns, heroin and mental institutions...
Oh, hey look! Mr Happy woke up again!
(Guy sits around listening to sing-song overweight folk-fuck hipster trash and he's trying to pull rank on me...shee-yit) -
Call me Shallow, but I didn't see any deep introspection of feminine issues, high school or other wise, just a hot brunette killing people and a hot blonde convincingly (imo) playing a nerd rising up to stop her. Maybe if someone can post anything "deeper" in the movie I'd like to read anything they may have seen in it.
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The attempts at humor were extremely cringe worthy and it wasn't the least bit scary.
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That's good to hear... because I am going to end up going tomorrow.
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A complete whitewash that the whore no doubt edits herself since there is no mention, what so ever, of her husband who she dumped the second Juno was a hit and she got an Oscar. This chick is nothing but a walking PR stunt and I'm sure the one and only reason Juno sold was that she was sucking and fucking everyone in LA.
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... but not fucking surprised. Diablo Phoney.
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Come ON guys. You've had since AICN began to rectify this glaring omission. It seems you guys are more interested in watching guys in hockey masks hacking up young virgins than TRUE horror. And Peter Vincent would take about 2 minutes to dispatch this Megan Fox demon - he probably wouldn't even have to bring Charley along. In all seriousness, I think the hate for Megan Fox is too OTT - she isn't a bad actress, she just hasn't done anything yet we can judge her performances in. I have a feeling she's better than most people think - whether she's the kind of girl who can pull Jennifer Connoly level performances (and let's face it, SHE'S done a few duffers along the way) is yet to be seen. Probably not that level, but certainly better than the craptastic Jolie's, Witherspoon's, Aniston's and Zellweger's that seem to get all the work. And as I leave you once again, I leave you with these thoughts: People say i'm crazy and i make no sense
But they don't understand the man's got influence
He's a gigolo, a liar, a man of many faces
So don't be fooled by what you think you see
He's gonna make his move on you and me
Fright night (fright night)
Who's it gonna be tonight
Lock your doors and windows tight
Soon you'll all believe i'm right
We're all in for a most frightening night
Intuition tells me that it's time to blow
But my sense of danger tells me no
I've got to find a weakness to put an end to this
Can't you see he's tearing us apart?
I've got to drive a stake right through his heart
Fright night (fright night)
Who's it gonna be tonight
Lock your doors and windows tight
Soon you'll all believe i'm right
We're all in for a most frightening night
Fright night (fright night, fright night)
I look into the mirror and it's as black as night
I see it fall to pieces as my heart ignites
Just waiting for the moment for that connecting thrill
Don't make a move, we've got to keep real still
We're waiting here and we're dressed up to kill (watch out)
Fright night (fright night)
Who's it gonna be tonight
Lock your doors and windows tight
Soon you'll all believe i'm right
We're all in for a most frightening night
Fright night (fright night)
Who's it gonna be tonight
Lock your doors and windows tight
Soon you'll all believe i'm right
We're all in for a most frightening night
Fright night (fright night)
Who's it gonna be tonight
Lock your doors and windows tight
Soon you'll all believe i'm right. -
Under $3 mil B.O. take on Friday. LMAO at all idiots involved with this failure.
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Not a huge fan of Jolie, but she made Changeling. Fox will be lucky to make anything a fraction that good.
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Never say never. She's barely started, and so far hasn't had the chance to do anything that required more than running around in short shorts. Jolie started out in Cyborg 2, remember......(and to be fair, I didn't even think her performance in Changeling was anything to write home about). I agree it's not exactly written in stone that she WILL become a great actress, chances are she won't. But stating it like it's a certainty is a good way to show ignorance of how things can develop in the future. Jennifer Connolly began her career running around with muppets. So I like to say 'who knows' at this point, and let time tell the rest. I do find the internet 'hatred' against her odd though - I know most people posting here are lemmings following a trend, but why that trend even began is bizarre. "Let's hate a seriously hot girl we've never met who's making movies in the geek genre".....fucking odd idea, if you ask me. Peter Vincent agrees. Now, hating Diablo Cody's writing - that I can fully understand. Never has such shit, unreal dialogue been continuously forced into projects since Buffy the fucking Vampire Slayer.
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Was Needy able to sense Megan killing people because back in their younger sandbox days she sucked some of Megan's blood from her wounded hand? Do you think a sequel will be made with Needy and this series will be renamed accordingly ike Pitch Black when Chronicles of Riddick came out)? Ok the second one was kind of a stretch, but personally I feel Cody and Kurasama (spl?) left it open for Needy to be Buffy-like, with even more quips, pop culture references and stylized dialogue that it.
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She's not some anonymous cokewhore skank from a trailer park who decided to write a screenplay one day. She's an upper-middle-class Catholic chick with an education who decided that being a "smart stripper" would be a good gimmick and a good escape from meaningless English major work. She was right, and here she is. But it is weird how no one has apparently thought of the disconnect between "oh dude, she's a slutty whore stripper! She probably blew five guys on the way to work this morning!" and the way she (admittedly) smartly comes off. I hate her writing, but I recognize her IQ. That said, I'm surprised Mori hasn't come in here to call us all misogynists, even the ones who can respectfully disagree.
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They left it open for a sequel, but unless it does better business, it will end up being a direct to dvd franchise. That's my guess. As far as Needy being able to sense when Jennifer was killing, that's a possibility. Seeing as the movie was about the supernatural, it makes sense. It was never explained though. Maybe they were just really connected. Good movie though.
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I have a daughter- how could I be a virgin?
Parkor! -
Diablo is the epitome of what Hollywood was built on...an opportunist. Not a slut, not some trailer trash casting couch floozy...this has all been calculated and planned from the minute she got some legitimate attention. Now..I'm not saying she isn't a wild child...I've never known a stripper who wasn't a little "off" from what you'd call the norm...but she is NOT a Megan. Yes she has utilized her past to get her press, yes she is kinda attractive and uses that when it gets her ahead...and yes she threw away the hubby the minute greener pastures appeared...as I said, an opportunist using everything, and anyone, that will get her to where she wants to go. Hollywood is full of them...most people there are...she just did it quicker than most. But unless she rolls deeper than Juno and Jennifer's Body..she better start brushing up on her academics, or polishing up that brass pole...Oscar Money doesn't last forever.
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Needy's psychic perception of Jennifer as she was killing. It made no sense to me. But I had forgotten about that scene where she drank some of Jennifer's blood as a kid. I guess that does explain it. Good call.
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To answer your question: adoption. But I digress. I am not here to bash you. Understand though with all the hot babes in hollywood, free porn on the net, and my hot girlfriend in the bed behind me, I could care less about megan Fox, she ain't all that. And no way would I waste $8 to watch her dry hump a motorcycle or see her kiss another chick for 3 seconds. Let me know when she is in some full-on lesbian porn. Also, let me know when she is in a real movie and she has demonstrated acting chops at least on par with Tom Arnold. Otherwise, I am taken care of. No need to lust after a less-than-steller actress or a not-that-hot without makeup starlet.
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a not nearly as much fun or well performed The Faculty. Same frivolous tone, same inability to engage on any level, even that of "I wonder how this will turn out". Not quite as good as the remake of It's Alive. Wow. That's hard. But true. Oh well. Oh, and Bijou Phillips? Sexier and a better actress than Megan Fox. Ouch. That's one of the meanest things I've ever written. But also true. (for the record, the remake of It's Alive is not good and I am in no way championing Bijou Phillips as either sexy or competent as an actress).
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About this movie....maybe a rental? I rented Juno and watched it back to back with Little Miss Sunshine and was thoroughly disappointed in Juno. I don't understand what people see in Diablo Cody... The only thing I can think of is she has a cool name...
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It may break $4 million by monday.
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As soon as they announced this, I knew Cody was full of it.
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Zero money shots. Boo.
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I rest my case. Capone is gay.
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It's definitly a bomb. Did you see it?
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Most masterbaters wait for home release
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This movie was a mess, but the kissing scene between Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox is almost worth the price of admission. Almost.
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9 is doing almost as bad. $18m in 10 days.
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What is it about Codys stuff that people really like? Her story premises are alright I guess but her dialog isn't anything Kevin Smith hasn't done for fifteen years now. Whats the deal, honestly?
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Domestic Total as of Sep. 20, 2009: $6,800,000
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American Apparel ad. EVER! Dude, Dov did an awesome job directing this! SRSLY!
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*RING RING*
"Hellur?"
"Yes Megan, it's the studio. Look, we don't know how to put this nicely so we're just going to have to come out and say it - your movie, Jennifer's Body, was put into a coma its opening weekend. We were hoping that the combination of Diablo Cody's ultra hip words combined with your recent heat from the Transformers films would make for instant box office success. Especially since this is your first big picture. But unfortunately for you, and for us, you keep opening your fucking mouth and saying stupid shit."
"But I don't understandlebleg. Why is it those motherfucking cock suckers hatele me so mooch?"
"Megan, people just don't like you. I mean, the tabloids and TMZ like you, but they're not real people so they don't count. Oh sure, you've got the bad girl image, but when it comes right down to it, you're just some white chick with an ugly fucking tattoo on her arm. I mean, we can go to Seattle and find one of those in ten seconds. And it's not that people don't like horror movies, because the Final Destination film did great. We think it's the fact that you can't act and that audiences finally see you for what you are. An annoyance. It's possible you might be sent to movie jail after this and share a cell with Lori Petty."
"Wait, so when are we doing the sequelist to it?"
"Jesus Christ Jim, is she really this fucking...Look...Megan..."
"No, please. Call me Megan."
"What??? I just...Ok...Megan...Look, your movie only did $6.8 million its opening weekend. You got beat by Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer fucking Aniston. That's like getting beat by Wilford Brimley if you're Tom Cruise. The animated movie, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, destroyed us and took in $30.1 million estimated dollars. And that Matt Damon movie, The Informant? $10.5 million. Not to mention Tyler Perry's new movie, in its second week mind you, came in third with $10.0 million. You went against three other movies and ended up face first in the sandbox while getting ass fucked into a future career filled with made for DVD releases. And with Surrogates, Fame, Pandorum, and Paranormal Activity all coming out next Friday, we're afraid your film is going to become, what I'm sure isn't your first, an abortion. I'm sorry Megan, but it looks like your career with the studios is over. We're spreading the word to make sure nobody gives you the lead in a movie ever again. Good luck with your future in porn."
"I told you, call me Megan! So wait, when can I do another pictu..."
*CLICK*
"Hellur? Hellur? Mr. Studio Man? Hellur???? Oh my God. I have no idea what he was talking about..."
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I bet by Monday morning Megan voicemail will be full from various casting directors saying they won't be casting her as a potential lead anymore!In fact they might suggest she start doing some nude scenes before she end up like Shannon Elizabeth!
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I enjoyed it, I agree that the dialogue did get a tad over the top at times, the "move on.org" line especially, I did not understand why Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfreid's characters were friends in the first place, because even before she turned demon she was a complete bitch to her. It felt rushed and there was potential for a great horror comedy here, and at times it was very enjoyable, but I think Cody really needs to lay off the hipster dialogue. She's a better writer than that
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According to imdb, Megan Fox is attached to 4 projects. The highest profile, is DC's Jonah Hex. She will no doubt bring the same depth and importance to the role as dry-humping a motorcycle in T2. Her 15 minute clock is ticking. By the age of 30, she will be an obscure trivial question and appear on "Where are they now?".
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She should go back to what she's good at - whoring.
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No personality. Her line reading is so weak. I completely believe that transformers crew letter.
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She is indeed the polar opposite to a real actress. Just watch Julie & Julia. It's not a "guy flick" nor is the female role a "babe". But Meryl Streep does an absolutely Oscar-worthy job transforming into Julia Child. You see the person, not the actress. You are totally involved in this depiction, it's not just eye-candy that any one of 10,000 starlets can do. It's REAL screen presence and REAL acting. Ms. Fox is not, and will never be in that league. She will eventually fade out and do direct-to-video or worse, SYFY channel movies.
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Megan's tats?
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You wouldn't think this movie, or Megan Fox, would be that important to them.
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or his period didnt come yet.anyway.
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Just by writing that, it proves you are a dripping cunt. Do you ever do anything besides lick assholes? Why do useless, dateless pricks like you exist? On no reason, except to verbally masturbate and take up space online.
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YOU'RE. As in YOU ARE. "In case YOU'RE wondering". Not "YOUR".
What I'm actually wondering is how a screenwriter doesn't know the difference between "YOUR" and "YOU'RE". -
Sep 21, 2009 3:14:02 PM CDT
Did Fox really think writing all those lettters before
by lockesbrokenleg
this movie came out was a good idea? The press killed her. Plus, the preview looked like a cheap Cinemax movie.
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lol.
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hating some hot girl who has invaded your geek world,will never fill that black hole u have in your soul.
take my advice: if u r unhappy with your life,try to change it.ask help if u cant do it alone.hating behind anonymity is not the right way,to feel a bit happier and escape for a while from your depressed life.trust me on that. -
.Next movie will have such memorable lines as "You Have Hormone Problems" or the infamous "it proves you are a dipping c*&t"
You guys make a good team !! Get to work then...chop chop ! -
As I already said in the talk back under Mr. Beaks' interview, hate against Megan Fox is totally unwarranted. The movie was entertaining and does not claim to be anymore than an other teen horror movie. Comic touches are I think a welcome aspect of such movies. The people walking out put out a favorable buzz, which to me means that it may still be considered successful.
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Because frankly that is the only reason I would want to see it - and Mrs QEG, also is partial. Yes, I'm a lucky boy...
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"YOU ARE a fucking bored cunt, and yes, I am a screenwriter". It's called a polish(not that thing your giving your boyfriend), ya prick. Didn't know I needed to put so much into a talkback comment.
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It seems even America’s favorite sex kitten of the moment, Megan Fox, wasn’t enough to save this movie. It’s supposed to be a sexy horror/comedy, but if the most seasoned film critics in the country are to be believed, it is not scary, not funny and thus not sexy.That’s where “Jennifer’s Body” will make the real money — as a cult “so bad it’s awesome” film. People will rent it to be ironic, go see in in a theater to mock it and tell their friends “You have to see it; it’s awful. And did you know it was written by Diablo Cody?”I’ll leave you with one last quote, from Variety’s Justin Chang: “Even with Megan Fox ideally cast as a sharp-fanged succubus with a lusty appetite for young male (and sometimes female) flesh, this high school horror romp tackles its bad-girl-gone-really-bad premise with eye-rolling obviousness and, fatally, a near-total absence of real scares.”However limited the odds that a person will see it or experience, it's worth a few instant loans just to watch Jennifer's Body movie.
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It seems even America’s favorite sex kitten of the moment, Megan Fox, wasn’t enough to save this movie. It’s supposed to be a sexy horror/comedy, but if the most seasoned film critics in the country are to be believed, it is not scary, not funny and thus not sexy.That’s where “Jennifer’s Body” will make the real money — as a cult “so bad it’s awesome” film. People will rent it to be ironic, go see in in a theater to mock it and tell their friends “You have to see it; it’s awful. And did you know it was written by Diablo Cody?”I’ll leave you with one last quote, from Variety’s Justin Chang: “Even with Megan Fox ideally cast as a sharp-fanged succubus with a lusty appetite for young male (and sometimes female) flesh, this high school horror romp tackles its bad-girl-gone-really-bad premise with eye-rolling obviousness and, fatally, a near-total absence of real scares.”However limited the odds that a person will see it or experience, it's worth a few instant loans just to watch Jennifer's Body movie.
Read more http://tinyurl.com/lm498v -
The reason people aren't watching is because it's written by Cody. Yes, she won an oscar, but the people outside of the Hollywood aristocracy recognize a naked Emperor when they see one, no matter how many people are fawning over "her" new clothes.
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