Cool News
Hercules Loves Tonight’s Premiere Of SURVIVOR XIX!! And You Can Watch Its First Three Minutes Right Now!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
The fist three minutes of tonight’s all-star-free yet hugely entertaining and exciting premiere of “Survivor: Samoa”:
* The be-mulleted ex-marine will the mullet calls herself “Shambo.”
* “Shambo” has no love for John, the twentysomething rocket scientist.
* The contestants vote in writing via secret ballot, but they don’t know anybody’s name, so they wind up writing down stuff like “the guy with the very short haircut in the grey shirt.”
* There is a lesson somewhere in how some contestants get a ton of leader votes based on how they look and how other contestants got none. Lots of votes roll to the most physically striking contestants. It also seems to help if you’re tall, older and/or male.
* The first competition is a quest for fire!
* Each leader then immediately has to choose four tribemates, whom he or she believes to be:
1) the smartest
2) the strongest
3) the most agile
4) the best swimmer
* The leader of Foa Foa (the yellow tribe) picks Foa Foa’s black guy to be the best swimmer.
* Each tribe has its own Russell as this season starts.
* The short beefy bald guy is named Russell, just like the short beefy bald guy from “Big Brother.” And those promos claiming the short beefy bald Russell is the series' “most evil” contestant ever do not employ hyperbole. He’s not just a jerk. He’s grad-A distilled TV evil!
TVil!
The good news is Russell already rivals (and perhaps exceeds) Richard Hatch and Johnny “Fairplay” in terms of both deviousness and entertainment value. To say his dark ways dominate the opening episode is to way undersell them.
Spoilers regarding Russell lurk in the text invisible. Texas oilman Russell will claim, falsely, to his tribemates that his is a New Orleans resident, a Katrina victim and a fireman. He even invents a German shepherd he claims died in the flood! He endlessly and roundly disparages his alliance members behind their backs! -- But wait, it’s gets better! He secretly empties his tribemates’ canteens and burns their socks while they sleep in an effort to weaken them!! (Russell will privately tell “Survivor” cameras that he’s a multimillionaire who’s just in the game to show how easy it can be won.)
CBS left the ending on its screener this time, and I can tell you the week’s evicted contestant looks close to tears as Jeff Probst extinguishes his or her torch.
They also left on the promo for next week. It looks like Probst has to eject somebody from a full-contact competition for unnecessary cruelty.
Need more reasons to watch? I offer again the female contestants, some posing hand-on-hip:
Ashley Trainer, 22, spa seller, Maple Grove, Minn.
Kelly Sharbaugh, 25, hairstylist, Los Angeles
Monica Padilla, 25, law student, San Diego
Marisa Calihan, 26, student, Cincinnati, Ohio
Natalie White, 26, pharmaceutical seller, Van Buren, Ark.
Elizabeth Kim, 33, attorney, New York
Yasmin Giles, 33, hairstylist, Los Angeles
Laura Morett, 39, office manager, Salem, Ore.
Shannon Waters, 45, ex-marine, Renton, Wash.
Betsy Bolan, 48, cop, Campton, N.H.
Find out what they all look like in swimsuits here.
8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.
Follow Herc on Twitter!!
PlayStation 3!!
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...more un-cool reality shit.
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When you have The Office, Supernatural, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Community, football, and pretty much everything else why would you continue to watch reality shows?
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I'm certain there was one above mine.
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Sheryl Crow! I love that "Steve McQueen" song. I thought she was touring with "Fleetwood Mac".
No, I don't know how I could have more wrong information in one post. Would you like to sign my petition against Madeline Murray O'Hare's boycott against Michael Jackson's nose being auctioned on EBay? -
Suck it haters.
There is no better produced, better paced, well well cast, well filmed and edited game show on television.
I don't care for the label "reality", as it means lumping Survivor in with stuff like John and Kate Plus 8, So You Think You Can Dance and the Bachelor. But as a 39 day long game show, that requires a mix of personal strength, and equal parts social astuteness and treachery, this show is still the cat's ass. -
Now you know why herc doesn't have time to watch crappy quality shows like Sons of Anarchy or Californication.
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Last season had the King of All Douche Bags in Coach. This season we could have the King of TV Evil. I have high hopes.
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mmm-hmm.
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But still, color me excited.
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Stop being a bitch Herc, and cover this very cool show!
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and it's hilarious that you're so wrong and dumb.
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Some bullshit reality show gets a TB.
Fucking morons and their paid ads disguised as TB. -
...to see who snatches the crown of worlds greediest asshole. I love this show.
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Survivor, my ass. Try deploying to Iraq or Afghanistan and surviving for a YEAR, not a month. You sure as hell don't get a million bucks for it either. And oh yeah, it's entirely unscripted.
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And stop voting out hot chicks early!
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I thought there was no such thing as an ex-marine.
An iffy start, I hope evil Russell bites it soon. Coach all but ruined last season, I don't find that kind of jackass entertaining at all but at least he wasn't a mean SOB and probable sociopath. -
but it is already getting into his head that he is unstoppable. I predict he will expose his own evilness within the next two episodes and he will be gone early on in the game. his only hope now is to tone it down some.
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They had a show about that. It was called "Over There". It only lasted on season because no one watched it. Survivor, on the other hand, has been on for almost a decade. You do the math.
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You waste fucking bandwith here but don't have a talkback for Fringe? What kind of fat masturbating nerds are you lot over at AICN. Fucking hell. This from the site that enjoyed GI Joe, Superman Returns, and The Phantom Menace.
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i always love survivor cause it seems like a great game. u have to play nonstop for over a month to win, even sleeping in the wild. and the alliances and social part is so hard to get right. i always like to play along on the show and wish i could do challenges. the cast is important though i like there to be cool people to cheer for. russel is crazy! i think u know which one i mean, there is two russels on the show. its sad that there's enough stupid people in the world that russels personality type can thrive. however i think in such closed off conditions they will catch onto his game pretty quickly, if they dont they are complete morons. in the city once they figure u out just move on. on survivor u get voted out. however this was a classic survivor episode, it was funny how russel immediately started doing bad things, and his plan worked! they started bitching with each other while he smiled. and someone sasses him...shes gone! they dont catch on?! he even owns an oil company, classic villan. i like how betsy is smart enough to figure russel out immediately, but everyone should be that smart. i cant tell if theres anyone really cool this season. and also, who has that milla jovovich screen name?! surely not the real deal but i heard she talk backed before. she is my favorite movie star ever and i want to tell her. my screen name is a compliment!
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ive had this name for a while. and ultraviolet has been one of my top 3 movies of all time since 06.
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the brilliance of casting this character is simply what he stated: "I'm a millionaire. I'm just here to show these people how easy it is to win this game." And to me thats what makes Russel so interesting, especially after he pulled all the right strings and is directly responsible for the first chick going home. Fantastic start for this season.
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I thought the pace of the show was better than previous seasons. Russell may have helped that with his insanity. He could actually do a "Big Brother" and get booted from the show. I noticed that Fao Fao is already the "not good" tribe and Galu is the "good" tribe. I think they'll probably dominate, especially because of the looney tunes in Fao Fao undermining them. Had to love "blurred boobies and ass" in the first ep as well. I love this show!
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Survivor? Not very "cool" if you ask me. This is sort of the most mainstream of the mainstream tripe out there. Seems sort of useless posting it here.
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Sep 18, 2009 8:59:29 AM CDT
So Bald Russell's plan is to weaken his tribe to control them?
by spyguy
Ummmm...Won't that also weaken your tribe so they end up losing more competitions? Like, oh, what happened on last night's episode?
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The game Diplomacy isn't exactly about Diplomacy either. "Family Feud" did not feature families actually shooting at each other. "Battleship" is not actually about naval engagements. - In other words, Relax Francis.
Regarding Fringe, Herc had an article on it a couple days ago and deemed it unsatisfying. Traditionally Herc has three Survivor entries per season: preview, premiere, and finale. Not too much coverage for a ratings monster.
Now as I've harshed on the talkback douches, I have to become one to show them love. WHERE IS THE PROJECT RUNWAY TALKBACK!? Just kidding Herc. I love PR, but there is no point in a TB for it here. -
And Survivor is? I'll try not to get angry, as I've been mentally charting this site's evergrowing lapses in judgment. But even if Herc DIDN'T like it, a talkback would've been the forum to discuss it with others and compare/contrast opinions. But seeing the titty-fied pix of the female "contestants" from Survivor, I can understand why last year's most acclaimed drama was left off the block.
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Jesus Herc. Black guys cant swim? That old fucking stereotype? Idiot.
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Ripper, there IS a talkback for the premiere episode of Fringe at http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42389. As you look at the splashpage, it is directly below this talkback, and was published previous to the Survivor entry. Go to that article and let your anger subside.
Or do you propose he should have an entry covering the premiere, and then a separate dedicated talkback all in the space of 24 hours? They reserve that treatment for overrated movies. Last year Herc had a review with talkback for most every episode of Fringe. This "left off the block" talk is inaccurate. -
Looks like the Notre Dame leprechaun come to life.
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gotta learn to be less obvious. Can't been showing the grinning evil smile as people ask were their crap ran off to.
oh.. and this was the first survivor where the black guy could actually swim. Not Herc's fault. -
I think Russell made his move too soon. Richard Hatch took time to just sit there and observe his teammates before acting. Marissa called him out at Tribal Council; he is on everyone's radar now. It's not like he had the entire tribe wrapped around his finger; not everyone voted the way he wanted. Plus I don't understand how getting his tribe to implode BEFORE the merge will help him win. I guess he missed the all-star season when Lex gutted his tribe of strong players, only to get picked-off after the merge.
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I think every season of Survivor should include Coach.
He doesn't even need to compete. Just put him on a hill with a staff, or on a beach or knee deep in the surf doing Tai Chi poses against the setting sun, and let a helicopter cam circle.
Put him in front of a camera to let him spout his insights and wisdom on the goings on of the contestants.
Allow him to stroll in at the beginning of every tribal council, with his jacket over his shoulder, stopping in front of the competitors to impart a lesson learned from a harrowing moment in his past, where we was chased by cannibals or fired on by Tibetans.
But for god's sake, don't tell him that we think he's anything other than awesome.
That would be fantastic. -
To steal Russell's moment.
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this 3 minutes of fisting Herc states is there! Why I outta...huh...typo? what typo? Ohhhhh...never mind...
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gets excited over the dumbest media i bet he loves project runway, why are these types of shows even covered on this site, its not geeky, its not scripted,its like next were gonna be covering jay leno show every night, game shows/ whether reality or not dont belong on the site imo...
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Sep 18, 2009 3:49:50 PM CDT
"game shows/ whether reality or not dont belong on the site imo.
by big jim
Last night I saw Andy Richter win $68,000 on Celebrity Jeopardy. I think that deserves a mention.
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If you don't care about this show, then read a post you are interested in. Not everyone hates this show just because you do. Go to your Fringe talkback and leave this one to us.
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People need to stop watching reality television. It sucks.
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You people need to get over it. You suck.
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Yeah, sadly entertainment is about staged, artificial scenarios, bullshit and backstabbing skills and no actual survival skills. I missed that show you refer to because I was one of those guys they were filming.
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Being former military myself, I have all respect for you and your achievemnets in life. But I am not sure why you are directing your anger toward a game show. At no point have the people behind Survivor ever claimed to be more challenging than going to war. It is not about Surviving in the most difficult situation you can imagine. It is about surviving longer than the other "campers" who are playing the "game" with you.
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Marissa was hot!
Rusell is way over his head. He ain't gonna last long.
crap! hot chick goes home. -
The tribe has spoken...Your a d-bag. Looks like there is plenty of cool anime for you to beat off to.
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Its quite disappointing knowing they cast someone who doesnt care about the money just to watch them fuck with everyone else. This show is treading real world vs road rules bullshit right now. Get back to what made this show great, the game, not the fuckheads.
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With great big titties, someone on that staff loves them some black meat. I don't blame him...she is fine..couple of nice blondes too. That evil guy is a complete idiot , won't take long for them to weed him out. Sucks he took Marisa out , she got stupid though.
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and obviously doesn't know how the game works. He probably saw like 2 episodes and thinks he knows this game. You can't win unless your team is winning before the merge. His tactics are premature and will hurt his whole team. I pity the fools around him. They need to cut that cancer out fast or no one on that team has a chance. Ditto on the fat black titties.
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You don't deserve that handle for watching this shit.
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He is right that his team sucks ass. Three do nothing girls. A hick. And two pretty boys. This team will drop.
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It is a social experiment son. Something you clearly have no handel on. Go ahead and run that meat train right up your ass sweetheart.
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Your idea is awesome. They totally need to hire Coach as the benevolent wizard who appears randomly throughout each season to assist the players in their respective voyages of self discovery.
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It would help raise the general IQ of the population.
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