Home Cool News Coaxial Reviews Zone Chat Contact Us Sign in

Copernicus violates JENNIFER'S BODY at the 1st round of Midnite Madness at Toronto's International Film Festival!

Hey folks, Harry here with the first report from this year's TORONTO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL - and it comes via Copernicus! Our faithful festival astronomer! And boy did he pick a film we're all dying to see - ever since those awesome images of Megan on that dock. Sigh. How many wonderful nights did you spend studying those pics to figure out what was going on with the no nipples thing? Now we have a movie. Here's Copernicus...

At tonight's Midnight Madness screening, I actually saw a teen, scream into her phone, "OMG I was standing right next to Megan Fox!!!" This
teen was apparently just there to do that -- she didn't stay for the movie. And there was much celebrating the presence of Diablo Cody,
Oscar winner, gracing us with her presence at a genre midnight screening. I have never seen so many flashbulbs at a Toronto Midnight Madness screening. Seriously though, calm the fuck down, people.

Citizen Kane this ain't. It isn't even HALLOWEEN. Maybe the closest comparison is a good episode of BUFFY, or movie-wise, maybe THE
FACULTY (ouch!). While I was in the minority liking THE FACULTY at the time, Harry's Oscar-worthy performance aside, I wouldn't exactly
call it timeless. JENNIFER'S BODY is entertaining, watchable, and at times great. But as a whole it fails to resonate. If you are a horror geek, Diablo Cody-obsessed, or are 14-18, rush right out and see it. Otherwise, catch it on DVD. Or cellphone, or however the Diablo Cody demographic watches movies.

The Buffyesque premise is that the hottest girl in school is not just surface-cunty, but demon to the core. A literal man-eater. She doesn't start out that way, but the reason she ends up there is one of the more clever bits of the script, so I won't spoil it. She alternates between fucked-up demon behavior and normal bitchy teen behavior, confounding her BFF Needy (Amanda Seyfried). Needy for some reason thinks her friend chucking up spiky black demon juice is weird, but overlookable. So is her eating a significant fraction of the cast. That is, until she picks on Needy's boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons), at which point a supernatural bitch fight ensues.

I know there's a huge Megan Fox backlash right now, i.e. she's a tool of Michael Bay and all, but nobody but Michael Bay deserves the blame for the utter disasters of the Transformers movies. Sure she's overhyped as the second coming of Angelina, but it isn't all her fault. She does a good job in this. And who knew she looks even better as the undead than she does with the Michael Bay-mandated shoe leather tan? But as good as she is, Amanda Seyfried and Johnny Simmons are the real stars. Their parts may not be as juicy, but they play them with as much nuance as you can get away with in a horror movie. As Needy, Seyfried has to cover a huge range, from nerdy, needy friend, to loving girlfriend (yes!), jailhouse punk (oh yes!), and lesbian lover (hell yes!). Somehow, she manages to do it with subtlety, no mean feat amidst the demons and Diablospeak. In contrast, Johnny Simmons has the one dimenstional "loving boyfriend" Michael Cera role here, but he just has such natural charisma that he
is automatically compelling.

Much like in the Buffyverse, JUNO fans won't be surprised that in the Codyverse teens talk in stylized, snarky banter before slaying their friends. If I'm giving Diablo Cody a hard time, maybe it is because I expect a lot from her. I'm on record as loving JUNO. And she does produce some truly great lines here -- lines that will be added to pop culture, and quoted for decades. But this comes at a price -- some of the teenspeak and references are just so "of the moment" that the movie will seem horribly dated in just a few years. And it is so laser-focused on the teen demographic that it is in danger of annoying alienating everyone else. In fact, at the Q&A, Megan Fox said that when Diablo Cody was not around, she sometimes asked the director, "What the fuck does this mean?" And the director, Karyn Kusama would reply, "I don't know!" But they shot it anyway, and it mostly works.
Megan Fox said she's only now getting some of the lines, months later.

Finally a few words on Karyn Kusama. She's no slouch -- there are some nice touches here, including a well-executed burning bar scene, and a memorable hovering-chick-fight above a bed. And the soundtrack is great -- anyone who puts a Black Kids song into a movie is a goddam genius in my book. But she bungles a few opportunities. The Megan Fox coming out of the lake scene is horribly disappointing. As we learned from SNAKES ON A PLANE, one sure recipe for failure is to have the internet fantasy of the scene dwarf the reality of it. The internet isn't just this wacky teenspeak thing from Diablo Cody's dialog.

With geysers of blood, hot, hot lesbian kissing and fighting. and some the best horror dialog ever, there's plenty to see here. If it didn't
have so much teen pandering this might have been a movie I could love.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Click for previous story Talk Back More on this story Click for next story

User login

Reader Talkback

Ugh... and FIRST?
by spectrebeeyatch
Sep 11th, 2009
04:09:05 AM
BIG LOB
by GibsonUSA Returns
Sep 11th, 2009
04:14:13 AM
I see no mention of nudity.
by tonagan
Sep 11th, 2009
04:22:31 AM
Lines quoted for decades?
by Djamdjean
Sep 11th, 2009
04:23:03 AM
Sadly, I will have to see this...
by Marxeffect
Sep 11th, 2009
04:25:59 AM
MIchael Cera for THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO movie!
by ZombieHeathLedger
Sep 11th, 2009
04:26:36 AM
Diablo Cody's writing is even more self-aware than Tarantino's
by ZombieHeathLedger
Sep 11th, 2009
04:30:45 AM
Dunno..
by LastOfTheV8Interceptors
Sep 11th, 2009
04:31:55 AM
Seyfried will last, Cody will fade, Fox will...
by sighborg
Sep 11th, 2009
04:40:50 AM
I'm getting Kevin Williamsom flashbacks..
by sonnyfern
Sep 11th, 2009
04:42:07 AM

by Cobra--Kai
Sep 11th, 2009
04:57:08 AM

by Cobra--Kai
Sep 11th, 2009
05:04:35 AM
The only thinkg that will be dated...
by dj_bollocks
Sep 11th, 2009
05:34:53 AM
Megan Fox is a dope...
by Karl Childers
Sep 11th, 2009
05:46:52 AM
Guys: if you want porn, just watch porn!
by Mr Gorilla
Sep 11th, 2009
05:49:21 AM
This movie requires too much prerequisites to be interesting
by NotVeryFunny
Sep 11th, 2009
06:01:18 AM
I Think You're Probably Wrong
by cowboyone
Sep 11th, 2009
06:41:35 AM
Megan Fox needs just one serious role.
by I Hope You Die
Sep 11th, 2009
06:44:38 AM
funny
by manofsteel71
Sep 11th, 2009
06:45:11 AM
DAMMIT, I was hoping this movie would bring back demon flicks.
by Mike_D
Sep 11th, 2009
07:10:08 AM
manofsteel71
by Monkey Butler
Sep 11th, 2009
07:19:25 AM
Cobra Kai
by tomdolan04
Sep 11th, 2009
07:23:13 AM
THE FACULTY!? How does it compare to GINGER SNAPS!?
by irc-Hollywood
Sep 11th, 2009
07:27:19 AM
monkey butler
by manofsteel71
Sep 11th, 2009
07:35:29 AM
Thank you, NotVeryFunny
by bah
Sep 11th, 2009
07:38:40 AM
I refuse
by daggor
Sep 11th, 2009
07:46:14 AM
If a "Diablo Cody" fan thinks some of the lines are a bit much..
by rainbowtrout1265
Sep 11th, 2009
07:53:20 AM
LOL @ ALL YOU LOSERS
by Giant_Dick_Bag_Filled_With_Tac o_Meat
Sep 11th, 2009
08:08:46 AM
Not only would Megan Fox not give me a 2nd look...
by rev_skarekroe
Sep 11th, 2009
08:13:43 AM
I heard the screams from inside the theatre...
by hippolyta
Sep 11th, 2009
08:17:27 AM
Diablo Cody, Oscar winner
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
08:27:52 AM
What the hell is that new Harry animation?
by Nasty In The Pasty
Sep 11th, 2009
08:55:58 AM
I've heard that....
by RighteousBrother
Sep 11th, 2009
09:04:05 AM
Movies like this will be the death of Midnight Madness
by Garbageman33
Sep 11th, 2009
09:04:17 AM
I think its the Time Tunnel
by ominus
Sep 11th, 2009
09:07:36 AM
Megan Fox is super hot but i dont believe
by ominus
Sep 11th, 2009
09:14:50 AM
CarlThorMark1978
by Giant_Dick_Bag_Filled_With_Tac o_Meat
Sep 11th, 2009
09:31:52 AM
Megan Fox said she's only now getting some of the lines, months
by PowerRing
Sep 11th, 2009
09:38:49 AM
Actresses that are young, hot and can actually act?
by Garbageman33
Sep 11th, 2009
09:39:42 AM
Funny...
by Red Ned Lynch
Sep 11th, 2009
09:46:43 AM
Amanda Seyfried getting starring roles
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
09:51:44 AM
new Harry animation???
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
09:55:30 AM
because I expect a lot from her???
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
09:57:52 AM
Anoyone else pre order the $1,199.99
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
09:58:45 AM
Stephen Lang from unknown character actor
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
10:00:17 AM
quoted for decades?
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
10:02:15 AM
anyone who puts a Black Kids song into a movie is a goddam geniu
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
10:06:52 AM
This just in....
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
10:08:36 AM
Neomaxizoondweebie says what?
by lagomorph
Sep 11th, 2009
10:50:11 AM
Megan Fox
by AsimovLives
Sep 11th, 2009
10:52:55 AM
Remember clueless?
by PowerRing
Sep 11th, 2009
11:04:05 AM
We're all dying to see this?
by solanine
Sep 11th, 2009
11:26:32 AM
Lesbian
by thatpussywonteatitself
Sep 11th, 2009
11:28:40 AM
from someone who actually SAW the movie
by mrgreentheplant
Sep 11th, 2009
11:29:24 AM
thatpussywonteatitself
by solanine
Sep 11th, 2009
11:42:02 AM
New Harry animation is DEFINITELY Land of the Lost
by D.Vader
Sep 11th, 2009
11:46:39 AM
I'll see it, but...
by the_juicy_box_of_megan_fox
Sep 11th, 2009
11:58:24 AM
SciFi Channel's marathon
by Series7
Sep 11th, 2009
12:47:52 PM
I wasn't home during the marathon, Series
by D.Vader
Sep 11th, 2009
12:55:48 PM
Spolier: Megan Fox breastial region
by PowerRing
Sep 11th, 2009
01:16:48 PM
diabolo cody
by mynemaborat
Sep 11th, 2009
01:30:30 PM
You know what would be really scary though?
by fiester
Sep 11th, 2009
02:24:45 PM
Saw her on Jimmy Kimmel
by MacReady452
Sep 11th, 2009
03:39:54 PM
Waiitng for this one to bomb.
by lockesbrokenleg
Sep 11th, 2009
04:04:59 PM
Jennifer dies in the intro, the boyfriend dies at the end.
by Grievey
Sep 11th, 2009
04:16:51 PM
Wow...
by midgarddragon
Sep 11th, 2009
04:47:29 PM
0%
by Barrock
Sep 11th, 2009
05:10:42 PM
midgarddragon
by mynemaborat
Sep 11th, 2009
06:07:02 PM
The problem with Megan Fox...
by Immortal_Fish
Sep 11th, 2009
06:35:47 PM
The movie feels to me...
by cheyne_stoking_DMS
Sep 11th, 2009
06:56:07 PM
As for the little pussy Fox you speak of...
by cheyne_stoking_DMS
Sep 11th, 2009
06:58:18 PM
I will go to see it
by Messyjoe
Sep 11th, 2009
07:35:43 PM
Megan Fox is dirty nasty filthy...
by Mel_Gibsons_Nazi_Dad
Sep 11th, 2009
08:40:07 PM
This time around...
by MrPoop
Sep 11th, 2009
10:00:32 PM
I also see no mention of nudity...
by The_Ritty
Sep 11th, 2009
10:53:54 PM
Diablo Cody hate
by felwithe
Sep 11th, 2009
11:03:46 PM
When did the ability to give a good lap dance become a negative?
by Hercules
Sep 11th, 2009
11:40:01 PM
AND she writes for EW! Holy Shit!
by lockesbrokenleg
Sep 12th, 2009
12:27:18 AM
I really don't care if this movie is even good.
by Cotton McKnight
Sep 12th, 2009
12:29:05 AM
Mark "megan" Fox looked good eh?
by Xiphos_2
Sep 12th, 2009
02:05:36 AM
knock out a screenplay strong enough to win an Oscar and the Wri
by Series7
Sep 12th, 2009
02:07:18 AM
felwithe
by Series7
Sep 12th, 2009
02:08:58 AM
The Pamela Anderson syndrome
by thegreatwhatzit
Sep 12th, 2009
02:24:01 AM
Why we 'hate" Diablo Cody
by Continentalop
Sep 12th, 2009
03:23:57 AM
The difference between hype and earning
by AsimovLives
Sep 12th, 2009
04:19:17 AM
Conti - Damn straight!
by spud mcspud
Sep 12th, 2009
06:09:47 AM
Series7 - Namedropping songs and/or bands
by spud mcspud
Sep 12th, 2009
06:18:59 AM
Spud, I wouldn't say she has no talent
by Continentalop
Sep 12th, 2009
06:46:20 AM
Scathing review of the film
by Garbageman33
Sep 12th, 2009
07:16:49 AM
"I'm on record as loving JUNO" = REVIEW FAIL
by DickBallsworth
Sep 12th, 2009
03:36:23 PM
RT's meter jumped up to 13%!
by Barrock
Sep 12th, 2009
09:49:16 PM
I checked out Body at TIFF
by domingug
Sep 16th, 2009
12:55:24 PM

Quick Talkback

Please login to post talkback.