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The 12 Year Old Reviewer looks at LOVE STINKS!
There is something beautiful about a 12 year old reviewer giving an R-rated comedy 2 and a half stars and praising the well-used amount of bathroom humor. I love that. It's just... beautiful. I really hope this kid becomes a regular, cause I'd love to hear advance word from a regular 12 year old kid. All I can think of is how cool it would have been for me as a kid to have a place to review films for all the world to see. So Frankie... best of luck seeing more films early, cause I like your style.
Love Stinks (R) ** 1/2
Starring French Stewart, Bridgette Wilson
Directed by Jeff Franklin
A Review by Frankie Paiva
Attending Love Stinks more than a month before it actually opens, I am
actually
here with my first movie review (imagine me, 12, and seeing a special
screening!) before a movie opens. Luckily, I saw Love Stinks, a film that
reminds us just how funny well-used bathroom humor can be.
Seth Winnick (Stewart, Harry from 3rd Rock From the Sun) is a writer for a new
sitcom called Jesse & Rebecca. He meets Chelsea (Wilson) at his fellow
writer's
wedding. Instantly overcome with love he brings to the planetarium to dance
under the stars, and their romance begins. She redecorates his apartment and
makes him get allergy shots to live with her beloved cat, but she soon becomes
more and more controlling.
But what Chelsea is really after is someone to marry. On Valentine's Day Seth
says he might marry her in a year, and she settles for it. But when I comes
around that time next year, he doesn't propose. She sues him for palimony and
begins ruining his life, he does the same to her. Throwing her cat off a pier
(could that be a inspiration from There's Something About Mary popping up
again?) and inviting over the sexy bimbo she asked him not to cast on his
show.
Yes, the film contains a lot of bathroom humor. However, (I am ashamed to say)
that most of it is pretty darn funny. Another nice thing about Love Stinks is
the way that the story is told in flashbacks. Stewart gives a fine
performance,
although his character seems very Harry-ized (read 2nd paragraph) and I wonder
if he can do any other types of acting. Also performing well is Tyra Banks, in
her movie debut, she adds a different touch to some of the scenes.
Looking for an intelligent and witty sophisticated film? Not one ounce is to
be
found here, but if your just looking to laugh regularly in a darkened theater
for 90 minutes or so, see Love Stinks which gets ** 1/2 stars.
A Review by Frankie Paiva
The 12 Year-Old Movie Reviewer
E-Mail me at SwpStke@aol.com
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Have you seen Stargate? Chills travel up and down my spine for the thirty seconds French is on-screen.
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But that was a pretty well-written review for someone who's 12! Rock on! And for those of you who are about to start bitchin' below about why they should listen to some whiney brat's opinion of a film . . . well, all the reviews on this site are heavily biased depending on who's writing them, so at least you know where the kid's comin' from.
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I have no problem with a 12-year old reviewing a movie. However, I'm tired of seeing poorly written reviews. Bad grammar, misspellings, I swear the internet is exposing just how low the American educational system has sunk. Not that I mean to jump all over or young reviewer here but would it kill people to proofread their posts/reviews a couple of times before they submit them. I will now put on my asbestos underwear to repel the inevitble flames I will receive for this post.
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If you want a well-written, spell-checked review, with correct grammar, etc., read the New York Times reviews. Why are they better? Because they have EDITORS, which I suspect Harry isn't investing in (not that I care). Come on, people make mistakes. This isn't a dissertation, it's a web site about entertainment. Stop being so fussy.
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When a former MTV vee jay is your leading man...it spells trouble. It has all been done before the script, humor, and the cat swinging in the corner of aint it cool news.
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at least make sure that your post is properly formatted. Next time, try phrasing this sentence: "Bad grammar, misspellings, I swear the internet is exposing just how low the American educational system has sunk" more like this: "Bad grammar and misspellings; I swear the internet is exposing just how low the American educational system has sunk" Your version, while certainly getting your point across, featured a lovely sentence fragment and exposed your own grammatical shortcomings.
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"If you want a well-written, spell-checked review, with correct grammar, etc., read the New York Times reviews."
Considering the length of the review, and most of the articles here with the exception of Moriarity's (not meant to be a dig, some of his articles are just long), it would have taken less time to go back over it and fix the errors (there weren't that many) than the time it took to write the review in the first place. When reviews are missing words and are unintelligble because they are poorly written then they are useless. I shouldn't have to try and figure out what the reviewer was trying to say because the grammar was bad.
"Why are they better? Because they have EDITORS,"
I see, so people should expect others to correct their mistakes instead of doing it right the first time (or at least making some effort to check their posts).
"which I suspect Harry isn't investing in (not that I care). Come on, people make mistakes. "
With the number of reviews Harry probably receives there is no way he could possibly proofread them or want to hire someone to do it.
"This isn't a dissertation, it's a web site about entertainment. Stop being so fussy."
You're right, the reviews aren't dissertations so they shouldn't be that hard to double check. For some reason people seem to let stuff slide where the internet is concered (i.e. manners, grammer etc.) and if someone says anything then they're "fussy" or uptight or whatever.
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I should point out that in my own post, I spelled "if" with an "s." Also, my example features the same fragment; however, it is at least separated with a semicolon.
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Twelve years old my butt! I think he's a plant.
BTW, I read the script for "Love Stinks" at least two years before "There's Something About Mary" was released, so for what it's worth I doubt the business with the cat was inspired by the Farrellys.
Note to Mad Boy: Sure, it's just an entertainment site. But wouldn't it be a pain in the arse if the entertainment or sports section of a newspaper was full of misspellings and bad grammar? No, it's not the end of the world. But yes, it is VERY ANNOYING. -
np Gabe. I know my grammar and spelling aren't perfect either. However, it seems like a lot of the stuff I read on the net would really benefit if it was reread once or twice. No one seems to even care and that's really sad.
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THIS EMAIL HAS NOT BEEN SPELLCHECKED...ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE
I understand that it is pretty annoying when spelling, grammer, and punctuation are below par. It makes for difficult reading. However, this site is pretty informal and I for one would like to keep that easygoing vibe. Now I don't mean to go making excuses I realize that being laid back doen't excuse just being lazy. But I do pretty much get the sense that you're projecting one of your little pet peeves onto the unsuspecting talk-back audience. I have never seen a review or spy report rendered "useless" by the mistakes that you complain about. This is play. Most of us rattle these messages off in stolen moments around the house or in the office. If they don't meet your high standards, then feel free to skip them all the live long day. Beyond that, I'm not sure that there is much to talk about. As for LOVE STINKS, well I like French Stuart, Kudos to the "mentioneer" of his fleeting hardguy moments in STARGATE. I can't stand that 3rd Rock tripe, but I hope that he aquits himself well here, even if the movie does flop. Nice to see that Sonya Blade chickee from Mortal Combat the First working again. She's mostly useless, but she shure is purdy. -
The correct Dante quote is "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here," not "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." Just wanted to jump on the picky bandwagon.
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This "12 year old" is another studio plant. Nice "review" there. I felt like I was standing in Blockbuster reading the back of the video box for this film, not reading an impartial review.
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there's an old saying "don't believe anything you read and only half of what you see" and this reviewer is not 12
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The writing in this review seems real enough to me. I don't buy into all this studio plant paranoia; The studios know they'd get skewered if something like that were uncovered. In this particular case, this seems like authentic above-average 12 year old writing. I only wish Talkbackers could occasionally attain that level of excellency. And for the love of Pete, don't criticize hime, you'll give the kid a complex.
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That was stupendous. MEESA DUM DUM, SLIP INTO JAR JAR TRANCE, NOT SPELL KORRECTLY, LISTEN TO KID ROCK, LIKE MOVIE WITH TYRA BANKS. SHE HAVE NICE BOOTY. BYE BYE
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From the same studio that has put banners from this movie up on the top of this site. 12 year old reviewer? Come on! Give us a little credit here.
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My *attitue* is the problem? It's crazy rock 'n' roll youth like you who are bringing this great country down. Gimme a break. *sob* Christ you people are a bunch of fucking babies sometimes. Whoever said it earlier was right. This is mostly for play. Yeah, it's be nice if everything was proofread and edited and spell-checked and spit-shined. But it's not. Nor, I suspect, is that going to change. It's just the way the man does things. So I guess you're either going to have to live with the little flaws that interject themselves into the lives of us dunderheads, or find another website and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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whoever came up with "roody-poot candy ass" deserves the medal for most inane phrase of the week. I loved it. Lighten up, everybody.
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OK, I just received a relatively hostile email from a fellow post-er, and I think I should have one last comment before I head home for the day, since i have no computer at home. I think we are going to have to come to grips with the fact that this is a message board, and one of the tgings about it is that it is an arena for opinion. And, in that vein, some people feel that they should proofread their messages, some feel they don't need to. I, for one, belong to the latter. I spend most of my day running around and shuffling paper, and this is my chance to kick back and look into something I enjoy, namely movies. So I read the articles and reviews, and when I see fit, I write something back. But I don't always check my work, and spell-check, etc. But I think we should be cautious before we go around calling the other people illiterates or uneducated, because the fact is it's judgmental and it's flat out rude. And, I am not unaware of the irony of my saying this, since I just told a whole bunch of people to shut the fuck up. What can I say, I have a tendency to be crude. So on that note, I apologize sincerely. I never meant to offend. BUT, I will continue to speak my mind here, and chances are, I will do it with poor grammar every now and again. I'm sorry if that bothers you, but them's the breaks. I'm still a little irate about being called a whole slew of names, I suppose i can't be too outraged at the risk of the pot calling the kettle black. So that's it, I'm done, and yes, once again, I didn't check my spelling. Sorry Taft, that's what you're gonna get. Peace everyone.
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"Not that I mean to jump all over or young reviewer here but would it kill people to proofread their posts/reviews a couple of times before they submit them."
Sorry, couldn't resist. Did you mean OUR young reviewer? -
Ok, I'm a 14 year old cinema FREAK. Not just a moviegoer or occasional renter at Blockbuster (I practically live there...) I'm a complete movie freak. Now, when I hear that all the older nerds at AICN are discouraging the new generation of Trekkers and Convention-goers... well, that just plain pisses me off. Even if this reviewer was a spy, who gives a rat's ass. People should know that there are young, MATURE adolescents out there who live for cinema. Unfortunately, given the latest fare of so-called "teen-oriented" movies released lately, like "She's All That" and other Yuppie-Prep crap, the range of good movies ol' Jack Valenti deems suitable for my viewing is diminishing. It's rare that an interesting, well-written, well-characterized *NON* R rated movie comes out that's worth my $10. The Sixth Sense was one of these exceptions to the rule, and I'm constantly searching for more. In short... older geeks, if you know any other young AICN moviegoers who are just getting interested in the movie scene... for once, stop being critics. Try to kindle that flame instead of seeking out ways to snuff it out; this may be a strange new way of thinking to you, but give it a shot. Ya might like positivity.
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P.S.- I don't care how my grammar is... it's my summer break, and school's out. Long live bad speling!
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... is not an original phrase, by the way. It happens to be one of The Rock's (a wrestler in the WWF) many catch phrases. Just thought I'd point that out... and I also find it hard to believe that this kid is 12. Baron out.
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np, I figured I would make some mistakes and catch all hell for it (but I did try recheck my post and did fix other boo boos ;)). I also misspelled concerned a little later. I will have the offending digit removed from my hand and will no longer type any words that contain the letters "u" or "n".
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Aug 20, 1999 7:01:13 PM CDT
IF thsi kid is a STUDIO PLANT...Then why the fuck did he give th
by nastee_flembot
This review was well written. I work as a teacher and no twelve year old kid I know writes like this(and I work in a gifted program school for 12 through fourteen year olds.
and by the way, 2 and one hald stars is a pretty low score for a studio to guive themselves. -
He may have given the film 2 1/2 stars but you couldn't tell that from the review. The review is very positive and I'm sure the studio thought to themselves, well if we give the movie four stars, we'll seem to obvious. I mean, this is Love Stinks, a film I haven't heard anything about except the banner on AICN. This is the work of a plant who thinks they're more clever than they really are. And MrKearns is exactly right, young kids don't get enough credit or good movies made for them but that isn't the reason I think this is a plant. I'm sure some 12 year olds can write like that.
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Hello there, strangers in the night. Let me start by saying I am, truly, 14 years old (honest; my birthday was fairly recent). While many of you were going to repeat viewings of Episode I, I was stuck at sleepaway camp, an abyss of crude excess devoid of hope and intelligence. When you were seeing Eyes Wide Shut on opening day, I was having braces put on (when I finally got a chance to see Kubrick's last film the clerk wouldn't let me go without my mom, the fool). What I would like to say is: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING? Arguing over grammar, syntax, semicolons and fragments. I FINISH MY FIRST WEEK IN THE SLUMS OF HELL (HIGH SCHOOL, IF YOU DIDN'T GUESS)AND I COME HOME TO THIS! Granted, the lack of attention to those things (and the incoherence that we often see) gets on my nerves. You know what? THE HELL WITH IT! We're going to get that. It's the internet, these people are anonymous callers, and because of that, no one cares about how their language skills look. And unless these posts degenerate into unintelligible nonsense (often found on TalkBack, but what does that matter), IT DOESN'T MATTER! I can't believe what you people start fighting over. If you're going to argue and start brutal verbal fights (which this isn't, thankfully), ARGUE ABOUT THE MOVIE! This post is already longer than I wanted it to be, so I'll be brief here. I doubt a studio plant would disguise himself as a twelve-year old. (But damn, I wish I had something worthy of a post. Do any test screenings go on in Florida? I doubt it. My sister knows people, but that's another story.) The kid probably reads TalkBack, and most certainly is reading this one, so why don't you try to not attack him.
Still chafing that he hasn't seen EWS in a theater and won't,
The Kid -
Aug 21, 1999 5:19:49 AM CDT
"I don't give a damn for a man who can only spell a word one way
by palmer eldritch
"I used all the right letters sunshine, just not necessarily in the right order." - Eric Morcambe (adapted)
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Almost certainly, LOVE STINKS is a straight-to-video title that's been given a slight boost by a limited cinema release. It's funny that the '12-year-old reviewer' should provoke such controversy and open up what I believe is a relevant debate. (For the record, I don't believe the reviewer is 12, but check out the post from 'The Kid' and tell me he/she's 14). OK, this is an informal forum, where rumor is often taken more seriously than it should be (Leo as Anakin, anyone?) but that's half the fun. However, that doesn't mean grammar, punctuation and spelling have to go out the window. I have worked as a journalist and sub-editor for six years and I think that everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if their thoughts aren't expressed in the most gramatically correct fashion. My only advice (mentioned above) is check your posts and try to make them literate and logical. After all, if someone reads your thoughts or review and sees an "it's" where an "its" should be, they automatically devalue the opinion following. It can't hurt to try to get it right. If you don't, well...it hasn't hurt the careers of numerous script writers who (think Kevin Smith) often neglect to cross the Ts and dot the...lower case Js.
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1. I am not a studio plant (read some of my reviews here: http://us.imdb.com/ReviewsBy?Frankie+Paiva)
2. Is there anyone out there that can live with bad grammar? -
"I don't believe this kid is 12! He's a studio shill, I tell you!! A plant! Probably being paid off by the Illuminati AND Cigarette Smoking Man!!" God I love the paranoia on this page. As for the review itself, it was fine IMOHO, occasional mizspellingz and all. Lighten up, everybody.
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Tyra Banks' first movie was actually 'Higher Learning' as Omar Epps' girlfriend.
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Okay everybody, once and for all the kid can't be a studio plant because this is an independent film!!!!! If you don't believe me, go check out the web site. It's at www.lovestinksthemovie.com --> Bad grammer abounds.
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It's not her film debut....that would have been Higher Learning...
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