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Massawyrm says THE FINAL DESTINATION beats James Cameron to the punch by #*$%ing your eyeballs AND your wallet!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
You know, I wasn’t even going to see this movie. Being that I am in the slim minority of folks who loves Rob Zombie movies, I’d chosen to see HALLOWEEN 2 over this. But when it came time to buy the tickets, one movie was at the shitty theater across town and the other was showing in 4K digital at the Drafthouse around the corner from my house. Come on, 4k Digital 3D at the Drafthouse? That’s why God invented Thursday nights. Sadly, this is also the same God who created herpes, explosive diarrhea and Freddy Prinze Jr. movies. Guess which end of the spectrum THE FINAL DESTINATION is on?
What is easily the most tedious film I’ve seen all year, if not ever, THE FINAL DESTINATION is everything a FINAL DESTINATION film shouldn’t be. The effects are embarrassing, the kills even worse and every scene plays out exactly the same. I never thought they could make a film that would make me pine for either FINAL DESTINATION 3 or MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D, but David R. Ellis managed to do both in one, single masterstroke of failure. This thing is a mess and a complete boondoggle on all fronts.
It almost feels like a bad FRIDAY THE 13TH movie, except that it actually feels closer to what a bad knock off of a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie feels like. There is nothing redeeming about it. It is cheap, populated by actors who seem relatively unconvinced of what is going on around them and lacks even a whiff of imagination. Even the 3-D, the one gimmick you think might save this from being a complete and utter void actually proves to be the movie’s downfall. Remember, David R. Ellis is the guy that made the one, truly solid FINAL DESTINATION film. The gore in part 2 is incredible; from the huge fuck all car crash at the beginning to almost each and every death in the film - solid blood and gore was delivered throughout. But here, because everything was going to be in spectacular 3-D, none of the effects are practical. They’re digital. Bad, digital blood and splatter effects. You feel me? Are they in 3-D? Yes. Do they ever look remotely convincing? Never.
And that’s the ultimate failing of the film, because at this point in the series, no one making these things gives a shit about anything BUT the kills. Starting with the last film (FINAL DESTINATION 3), the films ceased unraveling mystery and mythology and became slasher films that simply completely lacked a slasher. The killer is Death, who inexplicably keeps warning douchebags that they’re going to die so they can in turn warn a bunch of people meaning Death has to pull some overtime cleaning up after the ones he missed. Meanwhile, said douchebag gets visual warnings of how death is going to kill everyone else just before it happens so we can have a tense scene of our heroes running to warn our victim before our victim gets splattered in some grisly accident. But here, the accident's aren't so much grisly as they are just quick and sad.
Watching each of the film’s money shots has ceased to be about seeing something clever or interesting and more about the sheer boredom of knowing what’s coming. Part 3 suffered from having to watch a complicated Rube Goldberg machine play out before our eyes while we waited for it to finally get around killing the victim. This time Ellis shakes it up by offering up a bunch of red herrings - each more mundane and ridiculous than the red herring before it - until he finally gets around to gutting our victims with terrible fucking digital effects that my Golden Retriever and an Amiga loaded with Video Toaster could probably duplicate.
But in 3D!!!
This thing is Shi-tty. They even go so far as to fill the film with FRIDAY THE 13TH 3-D style gimmicks like radio antennas that stick out of the screen, flipping coins and shit like that. It’s pathetic, boring and more than just a little sad. This is the very epitome of a series on its last legs, shaking every last penny from its audience before setting them back down and shamefully walking away with its head down, refusing to look back or make eye contact with them. This better be THE FINAL DESTINATION, because I can’t imagine how in the bloody fuck they could make something worse. One of the very worst things you will see all year, this should be avoided at all costs.
You’d think the guy that made SNAKES ON A PLANE might actually have made a fun bad movie. But, no. He didn't.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Not only are you out the ticket price, but you’re also out the extra $4 for the 3D. How’s that for insult to injury?
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Cuz that's what I want from my 3-D.
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Don't be surprised after seeing Avatar either.
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was the first one, a genuinely clever and inventive take on the Slasher film. I remember seeing it in the cinema and a good time was had by all. Sure, the crash in 2 is okay, but the rest of it and 3 just suck balls. As for this one, not surpised at all, it looks shittacular.
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According to the title are you expecting Avatar to be craptacular too?
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Awesome. How does anyone get excited about "Deathsplat 90210"?
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but I was VERY mildly interested in seeing this because the trailer was somewhat cool, but I'm kinda happy to hear it sucks because it means I can save my money
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Odessa Munroe whipping her tits out in part 2 was pretty awesome
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I was excited about the director of FD2 returning! Guess I'll call the bootleg man saturday morning for a 3 dollar copy!
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Aug 28, 2009 8:59:36 AM CDT
Video Toaster? So, it's like watching Home Improvement huh?
by soylentmean
I'll still end up seeing this but, after the shittiness of Final Destination 3 I never expected it to be great. Stupidly entertaining, maybe, but not great.
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Err, if you work for AICN, don't they pay for your ticket? I would have thought so...
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Aug 28, 2009 9:01:31 AM CDT
My Bloody Valentine sucked balls
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
That is all.
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They make things bigger but they look fucking terrible. All these studios and filmmakers can take their 3d and shove it up their non talented asses.
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Aug 28, 2009 9:02:19 AM CDT
Maybe District 9 and Inglourious Basterds will win the...
by soylentmean
box office again. At least those movies deserve to be seen and loved.
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Much better than the third one. It is basically the same as the others, but with the 3D which was actually very well done. Yes, some of the CGI was cheesy, but it was also fun. Yes the acting was bad, but it was funny bad!The setup to the kills was fun and the chicks were hot. Especially the main chick in her little undies!
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....beforehand, work in favour or against it, if this particular 3D movie turns out to be a crapfest for the audience that sees it?....
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Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)......becomes Rambo. (2008)The Fast & The Furious (2001)......becomes Fast & Furious. (2009)Now Final Destination (2000)......becomes "The" Final Destination (2009).What the hell happened to adding a subtitle and/or number? Now they just add or subtract a couple of "the"s. How fucking LAZY can you get?
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And really, I'd like to hear what you think of HALLOWEEN II.
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....is that those filmed with it in mind are normally littered with cheap 'n nasty 'comin' at ya' effects like the 'CGI blood' in this thing, I'd rather see the upcoming '3D CONVERSIONS' of previous 2D movies, that don't have the whiff of determinedly 'shlock' moments of in your face 3D photography.
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Aug 28, 2009 9:28:39 AM CDT
So the guy who made the shitty part 2 made a shitty part 4?
by derlanghaarige
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You could've been great. Final 2 and Cellular where awesome. Snakes on a Plane was...the title. Should have moved on, let James Wong go back to the well.
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.....
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Or is it just quicker and easier to use CGI? I noticed My Bloody Valentine had horrid CGI effects but I assumed that was because it was a cheap gimmick movie.
Hopefully when Cameron fucks our eyesockets and ejaculates into them with full force it will be with really convincing CGI. -
Yeah its a crappy movie, but its a fun crappy movie. Besides the kills; the second one was utter shit... at least the third had a more relaxed feeling. Like it new it was a ridiculous concept but figured what the hell, lets just have fun with itNothing beats the first though... one of the best horror movies of the last 15 years, too bad it's like so many other franchises where the sequels never lived up to it and only serve to cheapen the experience of the original Can't wait for the next one though, the low budget, Straight to video stupidly titled "The Final De5tination"
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So how did that look in 3D? Because I wasn't exactly overwhelmed by the 2D trailer online. Which, supposedly, was Cameron's point.
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A quick, breezy gorefest. At least It's not bad AND ugly like H2.
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Thundersmurfs HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Sword of Omens, give me eye fucking sight beyond sight!
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Aug 28, 2009 9:43:21 AM CDT
Anyone else feel that 3D's future is resting heavily on...
by soylentmean
Avatar's shoulders? While I plan on seeing the Toy Story re-releases in 3D I already love them in 2D. I don't think the 3D is going to add too much to my overall enjoyment of the films. I'm actually more interested in seeing if we get some new Pixar shorts before each Toy Story. That would be great. Or, they're just going to reuse the original shorts shown before each Toy Story movie's original theatrical run.
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But their are five fucking weekends in October. Like any of these movies will make any money outside of opening weekend. Why weren't this and Halloween 2 released in October? Fucking retarded.
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Yeah Toy Story 3-D already has my money. Have you seen the teaser trailer for it? Its pretty funny. But having seen Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D it didn't really do anything for me. I am hoping since Toy Storys programing is still saved on a Pixar super computer (i bet they just have a computer/server and the title of the movie on it like a room of them) so they can manipulate the movie more then you could with Nightmare since that shit is all dead and gone by now.
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I was actually planning to see this, I can spend the 11 bucks on a decent bottle of vodka.
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Mccormick's is not good Vodka.
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3D-er named Parasite in the early '80s? It featured a young Demi Moore, and had a little creature that liked to eat through bodies, back when Alien was all the rage.
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Smirnoff.
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Aug 28, 2009 10:11:48 AM CDT
Damn 3D. When they shoot with 3D in mind, we have a problem.
by mrfloppy
The practical+CGI effect on the three previous films were AWESOME (just go and watch the DVD extras). So I'm afraid with this one, if you say it's all digital.
I LOVE the other FD movies. The opening scenes were BRUTAL. So I hope this one will have at least a great opening sequence. -
For 11 bucks? I guess your buying those airline bottles then.
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How's Tony Todd. What's the best kill? Do they kill everyone this time? Why on earth do you think they won't make more of these?
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I was actually hoping this would be good. Though i gotta disagree with Massa on this one, i thought 1 was the best, 2 sucked, and 3 was lame but fun. I was hoping for "lame but fun" in 3D! Stupid digital effects!
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I figured it would be a DTV series for sure.
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Listen to how much he hates this film. Imagine anyone getting this worked up about the fourth flick in any series? Imagine shouting and bawling about how bad Jaws:The Revenge is. This fool is genuinely hurt at the low quality. He's shocked that the makers couldn't give a shit. Everyone knows that it's going to be a piece of garbage, yet he tries to warn us like one of the characters in the films. What a sap. Wake up and smell the franchise you fucking loon. If you see a boy in the street with flippers for arms you don't get no kudos for pointing out he's a retard.
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There is a Snakes on A Train?
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The scene with the fire escape piercing that poor smucks' eyeball socket----Ouch!
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There is and it was awful. Weird straight-to-video flick that has something to do with voodoo or evil magic that makes a girl on a train explode with snakes. Kinda gross if I remember right but only worth watching if you like to drink and rip on terrible Direct-to-video schlock.
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Aug 28, 2009 10:50:05 AM CDT
I think we could use a more fair and balanced review
by mixingwithnixon
http://tinyurl.com/kjn7x6
I believe this is Harry's long lost twin -
fit in this type of movie. More serious films suffer from the gimick. It pulls you out of the story.
3D has great potential to make the movie screen a giant window into another world. I am excited about what they will be doing with it in the future. -
Ok I was off a couple of bucks. 15 for a fifth. But, a can of sterno sounds better than this flick...
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You kind of had to think of it in context, though--the first Final Destination showed up at a time when every horror movie was about unmasking the slasher. So it felt like a deconstruction of the trend, eliminating the whodunit and giving us the sheer enjoyment of the Rube Goldberg kills. #2 picked up from there, and it should've ended after that.
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Agreed. And I thought FD2 was a great set up for future movies, all flowing out from the first one. The survivors of the plane crash in FD1 being a pebble dropped in a pond, causing an ever expanding wave that Death has to clean up. Each movie after FD2 could have grown in scale until it became a worldwide epidemic, while also exploring WHY certain people can see what's going to happen in advance. Not only a horror series, but a series exploring how all of our lives are interconnected, and what happens when society realizes that these certain few people can save them. Instead, we got a slasher series with no slasher.
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While watching The Omen (yes, the crappy remake), my daughter said, "Hey, that's just like Final Destination 3."
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Yeah, the CGI was terrible. But every scene resulted in a ton of laughs from the theater. Fun to watch, that's all it is.
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Certainly didn't stop you from sucking off Drag Me to Hell, which was buried in horrible CG effects.
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The rest of the film's "plot" is incidental.
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Agreed! My theater was laughing through the whole movie. It was very entertaining. Some fun kils too!
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Very good point. The CG in DMTH was laughable. I could belive the reviews for that flick were so good.
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I saw it in D-Box (Cool technology, grossly underused in this shitpile of a movie)Previous to this I loved #2 & #1, and liked #3. But this one is just inexcusable. The only redeeming quality is being able to stare at Shantel Van Santen's beautiful face for 90 minutes.After popcorn and parking, I'm out over $80 for two people. FUCK THIS MOVIE
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I'd be hard pressed to pay $22 bucks for any movie. But this?!?!?You have no one to blame but yourself.
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Hated FD in the theater, kept chuckling derisively and thinking it was silly (the teacher and the blond with the bus seemed pretty mean though). After realizing something along the lines of themikejones above, I came to respect the premise a little more.The crash in the second one is actually something that pops into my head all the time (I drive on the freeway a lot, and have always been slightly mildly paranoid and on edge in crowded but swift traffic.)Lovek that is a great idea.
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in Final Destination 2. When the rod is poking out the chick's headrest... and the airbag deploys, smashing her head into it. Completely unexpected.
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October looks weak when it comes to releases. Why is August the new October? I've noticed this a couple years in a row. Besides Saw a lot of horror movies come out at the end of August. Why? They would do better around Halloween ESPECIALLY the Halloween movies. Idiots I hope District 9 and IB beat the shit out of these two movies.
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Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out why that film is considered a great horror movie. I think had anybody other than Raimi made it, it would have been dismissed instantly. Also, I've read some other reviews for Final Destination and they seem to think it's easily in line with the other flicks, meaning it's mindless, gory fun.
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Aug 28, 2009 3:43:36 PM CDT
He points out a great idea in the second film, and doesn't deliv
by geomancer21
In the commentary for 2 he pointed to the scene where the black guy tries to shoot himself and the gun won't work as example of something he'd like to explore in future films. and I agree, it is a great idea for this franchise. that while your death may be inevitable you simply CANNOT die until its your time no matter what you do. could make an awesome movie. and he seemed excited about the idea. so why once hes put back incharge doesn't he explore it? boggles the mind
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It's easily the worst of the films made to date! (Haven't seen #4 yet...) Can't believe anyone would prefer that to the first movie. Disjointed, lifeless, soulless, with 'plasticky' CG, like Snakes On A Plane. The third one isn't very good either, but it does have some fun bits, and if memory serves, Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Yum.
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I saw the trailer for The Final Destination and it looked creepy as heck! A word of advice: Maybe you should take off your grumpy pants before going to the movies. Isn't the whole point to have FUN and escape for a while? How can you not have fun watching a 3-D movie?! When I was a boy, my Nana and PopPop took me to Disneyland, and we watched this incredibly underrated SciFi film called Captain Eo. The magic of seeing a movie literally leap off the screen and into the theater has thrilled me ever since.
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*head explodes*
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Pretty bad, instantly forgettable. The lead actor actually seemed to be trying, though. The effects are amusing, but the lack of characterization made it all rather "who cares?"
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that's about it. The rest were just titty milkings. Titty milkings, I say.
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kills the main protagonist in the second film? That's not suppose to piss people off? They should've had him come back. Devon Sawa gotta eat.
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If you want to see a movie that uses 3D well, see Coraline. The texture and depth of that movie was incredible.
I'm going to add my voice to the people who want to know if Massa thinks Avatar will be just as bad, or if it's just a play on words. I mean, after all the hype of Avatar, seeing the trailer was... um... well, disappointing I guess. For some reason, it reminded me of Final Fantasy: the Spirits Within. It looked like a big, colorful mess. -
Word of advice: maybe you should, you know, actually drop the $12 like I did and see the movie before opening your yap about "grumpy pants." Then feel free to come in and talk about fun and escape. =P
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Horror movies have long been rooted in violence, and the extreme violence goes back to the '60s, but why is so-called modern horror all about how "imaginatively" someone can die, with how much gore and how unexpectedly? Christ almighty, give me a decent story and I won't care if everyone in the movie is just shot in the head. The death of the private investigator in "Psycho" is more shocking than ten modern horror movies in toto!
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You're completely right. All I have to go off of is the trailer, and it was pretty vague. I'm just a softie for 3-D. :) I'll go check it out and let you know what I think. You warned me, so if I'm let down it's my own darn fault.
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(What the?)
If the movie sucks so much then how does it beat Cameron to the punch by fucking our eyeballs? Just to get us to read the article? -
In fairness, there's one very good hand-on-shoulder gag, and there's some inventive use of 3-D (though my favourite 3-D movie is AMITYVILLE 3D, so what do I know?). The best bits, though, are in the trailer. There's no plot to speak of, and the kill sequences get a bit samey after a while (similar sequences involving things falling over and starting fires). The acting is pedestrian, and the ending is a lame afterthought. The film stops rather than builds to a meaningful climax. There's no Tony Todd cameo, and the one name actor is wasted (Mykelti Williamson) - who actually has a potentially interesting character arc and an attempted suicide sequence which is thrown away rather than exploited for the sick laughs which it could have been. For the teens, there's a kill every ten minutes (though some are cheats as they are premonitions), there's a wildly racist character for no good reason (he's even billed as "Racist" in the end credits), and there are a couple of series in-jokes. Yes, you see boobies, but not of the principal female actors. Certainly the laziest of the four movies so far, though thankfully nothing to indicate a fifth is in the offing.
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I think the movie fucks our eyes badly, is what Massa meant.
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I'm sure it sucks out loud in 3D. It was just sort of bland, and the CG gore looked pretty cheesy. Haven't seen Halloween II yet but it already wins the weekend by default. Funny part is, my girlfriend is the one who wanted to see it because (as she told me afterward) she thought it was something I'd like to see. Even though I said I'd rather see District 9 or Halloween II. Sweet gesture nonetheless, but terrible movie.
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when will studios realize 3-D is to make shit look real, not have stuff constantly try pop out at me? You think they would have realized this a few years ago. I hear Cameron is going for more of a "window" effect than the "shit flying at me" effect.
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Just got back from seeing the 3D version and had a lot of fun with it. Not my fave but definitely not bad! There was very little character development in this but i watch them for the crazy kills more then the characters anyway. To me these movies are like that game Mouse Trap and I just like to watch it all unfold. It only cost me $12 too, I dont know where or why you'd be charged $22 but maybe you should try a different theatre chain?
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Funny old world.
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Just admit it, really. It's okay. Just don't see it when it comes out.
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I’m asking because MBVT looked like absolutely fucking terrible low grade video. I actually went to see it at the theatre, because I had never seen a Horror movie in 3D, and I was utterly disappointed by how fucking awful the picture quality was.
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Aug 28, 2009 11:49:15 PM CDT
MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D MADE 93 MILL ON A 15 MILL BUDGET!!!
by carlthormark1978
It’s too bad that the studio’s are run by fucking morons because if they paid attention they would notice how a shitty slasher remake did 93 million worldwide on a 15 million dollar budget. It wasn’t a blockbuster but it did do six times its budget not to mention the DVD sales which will pull in even more bank. When will the slugs in Hollywood learn that you don’t need to spend 150 to 300 million on a fucking movie for it to be profitable?
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Theaters are charging extra to see it in 3D. So yeah, you're paying $16.. if you bring a date (LOL yeah right), that's $32 for tickets alone, with food you're looking at what? $50? For an 80 minute movie?
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That's just over 500k for every minute for fuck sakes!!!
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thousands of original horror scripts are thrown away unread each day.
At least there's no rednecks in it. -
FD 2......Odessa MunroeFD 3......Chelan SimmonsTFD......?Horrible Review, No kill count, best death scene, gratuitous nudity?
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At least MBVT 3-D had buck naked Betsy Rue running around for an extended amount of time. So they put 3-D in FD4 and Betsy Rue in Halloween II. Take a shit film and divide what works. That can only result in shittier shit.
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than this piece of shit.
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But when a freind of mine suggested I veiw it as a comedy, I actually kinda liked it.
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I am in no hurry whatsoever to see this or any other FD movie.
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I just finished seeing the movie and we had fun with it. It was exactly what it was supposed to be. Senseles killing. Shitty CG. Average 3-D effects. Paper thin plot. I jumped. I laughed. A few holy shits came to mind and then it was time to leave. It was exactly what it was supposed to be. Seriously how much money did you expect New Line to put into this badly handled franchise?
Having said that, going 3-D was a natural progression in the series since most of the graphic kills have been aimed towards the audience. It's used in creative ways and if you are a moviegoer who enjoys a pure popcorn movie.. then go.
There are worse movies than FD4. Halloween was bullshit and Halloween 2 shows that bullshit's sperm count is quite healthy. -
I saw F13 in 3D way back in the day. Hell, I was even in the theater of Vincent Price's HoW! Yeah! Geezer! Two of the most memorable movie going experiences I have ever been a part of. When MBV 3D came out I had high expectations and it fell short. I have always thought the FD series was top notch. So, of course, I had expectations for the 3D. I thought it delivered! And wtf Mass? Of course you have to get those 3D 'filler' shots through out the movie! You had to wait every 20 minutes to finally get a 3D effect in MBV! But, one of the most classic shots in this one has to be the green sporto panty shot of Shantel VanSanten. That was classic 3D there!
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Night time movie tickets where I live are $5 for first-run features (+ $2 if they're in 3D). How theatres in Austin charge almost double that amount is beyond me.
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Seriously, Fifteen-fucking-Dollars per ticket; for a shitty horror movie, oh yeah, that's in 3D.
Grrrrr. -
Aug 29, 2009 8:17:05 PM CDT
$15 PER TICKET AND, YET, PEOPLE DOUBTED ME IN THE AVATAR TALKBAC
by carlthormark1978
You see, 3D isn’t about pushing cinema forward, it’s a gimmick being used to justify charging people more to see a movie in a fucking theatre. Hey, is anyone planning on paying $15 bucks to see Woody Allen’s latest movie in 3D? Didn’t think so and that’s because Hollywood thinks that they need more bells and whistles to get people to see their movies when a movie with a good story, good acting and good Direction is all that you need but then Studio Executives wouldn’t know anything about that, would they?
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had the best story, but the kills were lame. sorry, but it's true. the dude/fish scene in 2 was GOLD. OFF TOPIC - i recently saw a DVD for NOTLD 3D at a store; it was a 2D version...
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The film is mean spirited, and although...technically good looking, it is ugly in tone. "Final Destination 2" was a much better movie, as was the original film. BTW, the 3D gets you several times with objects coming at your face, even seemingly moving right through your head, and then...the 3D becomes a distraction, and the gimmick is lost on you, you begin to forget it's there, and you can't wait for the movie to end, a film that is professionally executed...most of the time, but very amateurish, and awkward, even sloppy, at moments. I have seen two...3D films this year, one would be "Up"...and the other, the 4th film in the Final Destination series...and they don't help the case for 3D in the cinemas, no...they make you love to hate it.
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It was exactly what I expected from the next Final Destination movie. Of course it's not as good as 2 and maybe not 3 either, but it was still worth watching in 3D. Massawym mentions 3D effects from Friday the 13th 3D, like he had to have seen it in 3D in the 80's. I saw it also, along with Jaws 3-D. I would have always regretted not seeing those in 3D when I had the chance. Same with this. It's not horrible. It's just what you'd expect from a 3D Final Destination movie.
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When some chick tells two kissers to get a room, I was done with this movie. I sat with my hands under my chin saying "Lame, lame, lamer" to all of the deaths. -----------(SPOILER) the chick dying in the car wash would have been cool, but she is saved at the last minute, "LAME". As a little kid, I was scared as shit of the car wash. -----(SPOILER)---- And when the dude gets sucked down the drain, "LAME", they could have showed his stomach sucking in or something to give the effect that his guts were actually being sucked through his ass. All about the deaths. Nothing else mattered. If the studio gave a damn about doing something original, they wouldn't have thrown away my good horror script.
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Seriously, the 3D forced them to go all CGI which made the film look cartoonish. They should have just gone 2D and practical effects all the way. I don't hate CG at all, but many of the effects here looked phony. People died way to quickly. And the only 3 people who acted like they gave a damn were Bobby Campo, Nick Zano, and Bubba from Forest Gump. Everyone else was horrible, and the best looking death was probably the tire flying out of the arena and killing the girl. I was shocked how tame and quick each death was. Seriously, a rock through the eye? Seriously? The best thing here was the title sequence.
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just for the tanning bed scene. I still get a smile on my face when I hear the song "Rollercoaster"
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Look you need to control an element precisely so you get the "flying right in between your eyes" effect to truly sell the 3D. so they had to do it digitally so you could actually see it. I swear to God, the way the writers on this site fetishize practical effects is distracting. We get it. You're old. you don't like CGI. Get over it.
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Didn't G.I. JOE get a good review and that movie sucked ass. Now this one is getting a bad review, so by AICN logic states that it's probably not as bad as it's being made out to be. But who are we kidding, couldn't we see this movie was not going to be as good as the others? All these movies in 3-D doesn't add much to movies. 3-D is just a gimmick. But if a movie needs 3-D to work that usually means the movie suck anyways.
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I doubt that the movie is in 4K digital 3D. 4K digital 3d isn't availbe right now. 4k digital 2d yes, but 3d, no. What projector was being used for that, sony? That sounds like false advertising to me.
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I am a total fan of using CG. I am not against it. I'm not some "analog guy living in a digital world". I embrace CG as a form of making films I would have never been able to see as a kid, a reality as an adult. But it really wasn't worth making this film in 3D. It was short as hell at 70 something minutes, and the 3D got distracting toward the end. Someone mentioned this film cost about 500K a minute. That's insane. The deaths were too quick and weren't memorable. Some were good, but the fun of 2 and 3 was gone. Replaced with really odd looking CG gore effects that will look really bad on DVD in 2D. If parts 2 and 3 were done on a way less budget, it would have been really interesting to see what the filmmakers could have done with the large budget of this film and no 3D effects. I didn't think the film was terrible. But it was a massive let down with an incredibly unsatisfying ending. Nothing beats a kid blowing up at a BBQ. A truck killing X-Ray versions of the leads? Really weak... The pool scene didn't show enough. And the car wash scene had the potential to be disgusting, but it was a red herring... Let down.
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Nothing tops that car crash sequence.
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to cover up the word fuck with all that @&#^#* bullshit. As if a cuss word in a headline would offend anyone. Shittytitty jizz cunt.
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After sitting through the first 1/3 of the movie and 2 decent kills --- which wasn't as horrible as this review suggests --- the screen went black and the movie stopped. Waited for about 15 minutes for it to be fixed with no resolve...... so, we headed out of the theater and into Halloween 2 which was just about to start -- which was just aboout the biggest shitpile I've seen in a long time...... what a wasted trip to the movies.
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someone went and saw this shit of a movie-and if you do go to a night movie and it's 3-d, it can be that much
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Aug 31, 2009 4:13:54 PM CDT
Bet you anything that they've filmed extra death scenes....
by cookylamoo
for the DVD release. Like a car wash scene that doesn't end before the kill.
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Atleast a nice rounding of tits and ass of the hot expendable chicks prior to their lame deaths?
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Saturday the 14th but this time do it in 3-D... Why not.. they are already F-ing up everything else.
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Aug 31, 2009 9:12:38 PM CDT
If this movie was a moving car the Amish would give it the finge
by beane2099
I saw it for free and still felt cheated. I liked FD 2, if for no other reason than the car crash scene. That set the tone for that movie. The Nascar scene did the same here, but in a really bad way. The 3-D killed this movie too, and the budget must have been like 50 bucks. The characters actually seemed bored for many of the scenes, but not as bored as I was. They couldn't afford anything so they tried to replace FX with idiotic twists, like we weren't gonna know what was going on.
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An old friend and I made a double feature out of Final Destination 4 in 3D followed by Halloween 2. Both matinees. Why studios would pit two R-rated horror movies against each other in their opening weekend, I’ll never know. R-rated horror is already a dying genre, and competition against itself is foolish. Nobody wins. More PG-13 spooky, but not scary, crap gets made.
Below are my brief, SPOILER-FREE reviews. If you don’t want to read them…in short, both movies are OK for what they are. I would recommend going to see either movie over any PG-13, spooky crap any day. Don't get me wrong. PG-13 horror stories have their place. They make great 20 minute TV shows like "Tales from the Darkside" or "Monsters".
I went in knowing Final Destination 4 in 3D was all about the 3D gags and gore. I did enjoy it for those gags. They were gross and popped off the screen. The finale could have been a lot cooler than it was, and it was far too short. Final Destination 2 still has the best executed, most original deaths. This was a close 2nd in that category. 3-D played a big part. The original Final Destination remains the best story. This new movie has many pretty actors that are better at being pretty than acting. But for this kind of movie, it kinda strangely works. They’re all just attractive cannon fodder. It’s like watching a warped Abercrombie ad where the models die. It’s an OK movie for anyone who likes 3-D and the Final Destination series. Not for everyone.
As weird as it was, I enjoyed Zombie’s Halloween 2 more than Zombie’s first Halloween. It’s no longer a movie remaking a superior movie. It’s an original sequel. (Is that phrase an oxymoron?) The kills are brutal, and the story is way out there. Is it better than John Carpenter’s original Halloween? No, not even close. Is it better than the original Halloween 2? (of which it is not a remake of) I would say maybe, marginally: Yes. I would say the same when comparing to Halloween 5 and 6, just marginally, debatably better. It’s way better than Halloween 6 (Curse of Michael Meyers), part 7 (H20), and part 8 (Resurrection). Definitely not for anyone who is not a fan of the slasher genre.
And a message to Rob Zombie...I'm a fan of the F word. It's great when lightly sprinkled like pepper on my mac & cheese. It's ridiculous when poured on in giant heaps. It just makes characters sound ignorant. Maybe that's what you're going for...IN EVERY F-ING MOVIE!!!
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