Hey, everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

I'm going to level with you, seeing a film like this makes you really appreciate the level of sophistication at which Judd Apatow works. As weird as that statement sounds, there's finesse to the way his actors tell dick jokes that is miles above the manner in which everybody else works in the R-rated comedy realm. I'm not even saying that these other, non-Apatow films aren't funny here and there, but Apatow seems to have a filter. He knows when four-letter words will be at their most effective and when they are just crass. As much as I ultimately enjoyed THE HANGOVER, the characters tended to fall back on "fuck" so often, it stopped being funny and started being repetitive. Or worse still, watch (if you dare) THE UGLY TRTH, a movie that hasn't got a clue when crude is funny and when it's just plain dumb. So now we have THE GOODS, which I would place just a peg below THE HANGOVER, but miles above THE UGLY TRUTH on the comedy meter (which I just invented). The film's plot is almost invisible, with the emotional depth of a wading pool that's been sitting out for a week in the blazing son. However, the strength of many of the comedy performers kept me laughing about 75 percent of the time, and that's not bad.

Jeremy Piven stars in THE GOODS as Don Ready, not a car salesman in the strictest sense, but a guy who other car salesmen call in when vehicles aren't moving the way they need to. In the case of this story, James Brolin's Ben Selleck calls in Ready and his crew, which includes Ving Rhames, David Koechner, and the scene-stealer Kathryn Hahn, who uses nasty sex talk to make her sales. It goes without saying that I never tired of watching her do her job well. Ready and his team blaze into Selleck's California town ready to move cars over the 4th of July weekend and save the dealership from financial ruin. The heroes and villains in THE GOODS are painted in extremely bright colors, and the father-son team of Alan Thicke and Ed Helms are like a couple of magpies waiting to pick on the scraps of whatever is left of the dealership when the Selleck family loses it. In a weird device that I never really bought, Selleck's daughter (Jordana Spiro) is engaged to Helms' character (whose other job is being in a boy band). Naturally, Don Ready not only wants to save the dealership; he wants to save young Ms. Selleck.

THE GOODS moves at an almost frantic pace, barely allowing the characters or us time to breathe between gags, which might work to its advantage since some of the gags aren't that funny, and we aren't given much time to reflect on the duds. Still, I expected something a little bit more satisfying from director Neal Brennan (a co-writer with Dave Chappelle of HALF BAKED and a writer-director on many episodes of "Chappelle's Show"), especially with this above-average cast of talented comic actors, including Ken Jeong, Rob Riggle, Craig Robinson, and a cameo by one of the film's producers (I'll let you look that one up yourselves). I suppose the biggest problem I had with the movie is that it's wildly uneven. Anything that takes us aware from the salesmen and women doing their job seem peripheral and not especially engrossing. The love story angle is laughably bad, except I wasn't laughing, nor was I moved or convinced that this relationship would survive five days after the movie ended.

I would consider myself a Jeremy Piven fan. I watch "Entourage" loyally every week, but I've dug the guy for years, going back to his memorable runs on "The Larry Sanders Show," "Ellen" and the original incarnation of "Cupid," as well as films like VERY BAD THINGS, PCU, GROSSE POINTE BLANK, OLD SCHOOL, SMOKIN' ACES, and ROCKNROLLA. Piven is very much in Ari Gold mode in THE GOODS, but slightly nicer and more disturbed, and it suits him. But about half the time, it feels like he's delivering lines to the balcony. When he dials it back, Piven is unstoppable. Unfortunately, this is not the film to see Piven really do his best work, although you will undoubtedly laugh at a lot of what he's up to here. In the end, I can't quite recommend THE GOODS, but if in 9-12 months or so, you catch it on cable, you could stumble upon worse films to watch.

-- Capone
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