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Herc Says Mark Burnett’s SHARK TANK Trumps APPRENTICE!!

Published at: Aug. 9, 2009, 5:19 a.m. CST

I am – Hercules!!
A compelling new reality show from producer Mark Burnett (“Survivor,” “The Apprentice”), ABC’s “Shark Tank” features fledgling entrepreneurs pleading for funds from “the sharks,” five multimillionaires – namely real estate titan Barbara Corcoran, infomercialista Kevin Harrington, techie Robert Herjavec, FUBU CEO Daymond John and venture capitalist Kevin O'Leary – looking for a good investment. Some of the sharks seem smarter than others but, significantly, all seem much smarter than “Apprentice’s” chief blowhard in charge Donald Trump. And the first episode, at least, doesn’t feel like a hour-long tuna commercial. Five entrepreneurs or teams of entrepreneurs make pitches in the first episode. Two separate pitchers, reflecting on some bad financial decisions, seem to teeter on the verge of tears mid-pitch. Deals are made, deals are altered, deals are rejected. Some of the sharks can be brutally frank. The first pitcher, literally a pie-man seeking close to half a million dollars, finds himself choked up by memories of having to live in a car for four months. The second pitcher, a fellow named Darrin Johnson, wants a million dollars for a 15 percent stake in a sci-fi device that would, I think, technically turn us into cyborgs. It freaks out the guy who got rich off the FUBU brand, but I have to admit – though I would not invest in Johnson’s particular product – I think he might be on to something. The third guy, Kevin Flannery, a former foster kid and former Marine from North Carolina, has something WiSpots, which he calls “the future of waiting patiently.” He gets emotional because he’s dipped into his kids’ college fund and can’t keep up with the two mortgages on his home. He comes in looking for $1.2 million for 10% equity position. Contestant four turns out to be a hot young blonde nanny from Auburn, Ga. looking for $50,000. She’s got an invention she’s tested successfully on the austistic kid for whom she’s been caring. The final team of contestants brings in university co-eds wearing tight clothes to pitch something called College Foxes Packing Boxes. The negotiations take a surprising turn. The term “pigs” is flung more than once. The stakes are high and I grew invested. Entertainment Weekly gives it a “B-plus” and says:
… The moneymen ask informed questions and make shrewd decisions, a welcome relief from Donald Trump's capricious calls on Burnett's Celebrity Apprentice. …
The New York Daily News says:
… a well-paced hour that offers entertainment without humiliation. …
The Chicago Sun-Times says:
… There are so many things I hate about his new show, "In the Shark Tank," that I started numbering them just to calm down. …
The Washington Post says:
… what sneaks up on you this time is the genuine poignancy of the proceedings and how deftly the show personalizes the desperation and pain experienced by victims of a broken-down economy. … O'Leary not only isn't sympathetic, he's hostile. "Don't cry about money," he barks. "It never cries for you." Hmmm. Mean, yes, but a bit of wisdom well articulated. Unfortunately, the cleverness of the remark is dissipated as the show continues and O'Leary says both "never laugh at money" and later, "never insult money." Now he's not clever, just repetitious -- a creep with the heart of a banker. …
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:
… Business buffs may love it, but "Shark Tank" lacks the lush visuals of "Survivor" and the star power of Trump. It just doesn't have the same bite. …
The Boston Herald says:
… a depressing display of some rich folks beating on the have-nots. … it’s wrenching to see someone’s life’s work summed up and disposed of so quickly. … “Shark Tank” deserves a cold grave deep in the ocean.
The Boston Globe says:
… There is something satisfying about seeing contestants shaken out of their high-flying reveries, and the subject matter provides some solid insights - though grossly simplified - into the mechanics of venture capitalism. But the show is like watching fish getting shot in a barrel. It offers up poor souls with harebrained schemes and makes merry sport of eviscerating them. There’s minimal room for us to empathize because the upshot of each business pitch - either a grim “I’m out’’ from each investor or some hastily configured deal - tells us little about whether anyone has actually won or lost. Numbers are bandied about, candidates shuffle off in a daze, and the Sharks are on to the next victim. …
Variety says:
… "Shark Tank" reminds us that swimming among these big fishes isn't for the faint of heart, but it finally sends a mixed message -- namely, that with a little drive, some dumb luck and a willingness to get bloodied, you too can become like the platitude-spouting jerks on the other side of the table. So is "Shark Tank" cathartic, or merely depressing? Perhaps appropriately, it's a little of both.
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… Brisk, sharp and surprisingly emotional for what essentially is a series of venture-capital-investment interviews, the show -- based on the Japanese format "Dragons' Den" -- balances the human element of its wish-fulfilling conceit with at least the illusion of the business legitimacy that made Burnett's "The Apprentice" such campy fun. …
“Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”: 8 p.m. Sunday. ABC. “The Shark Tank”: 9 p.m. Sunday. ABC.
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