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AICN Dedicated Talkback: Yooooooooooo JOE!! + Witness THE INVASION OF COBRA ISLAND!!

Merrick here...
As you're undoubtedly aware, G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA hits theaters everywhere later tonight. Feel free to discuss Mr. Sommers' latest work in the Talkback below, which we'll try to keep on AICN's front page throughout the weekend. To get you into the spirit of the film, consider looking upon the following embeds - which are cooler than many action movies I've seen over the last few years (not saying it's cooler than the movie, though, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS REALLY FUN. These embeds originate HERE. Enjoy the vids, the film itself, and be sure to share your thoughts below!
Part 1

Part 2

By the way, don't forget to enter our Titan Books/AICN giveaway, currently featuring G.I. JOE: MISSION DOSSIER. Find more details HERE!!

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Is this going to be a surprise?

    by ufoclub1977

    I think it has a chance.... maybe? I haven't even bothered to see Transformers 2 yet.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:02 p.m. CST

    hope it doesn't suck

    by zombieslayer

    I haven't seen Transformers 2 yet, either. District 9 is the last summer movie I'm excited about. So far Moon and Trek are the high points...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:02 p.m. CST


    by gboybama


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:04 p.m. CST


    by DatoMan413

    What, Seth Greene not available?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:05 p.m. CST

    MA LOB asks why is boy BIG LOB isn't in this movie.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Cousin NO PROB LOB says dont worry, he thinks theres no way they would forget BIG LOB two times in a row!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:05 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    This isn't cool. This is just wrong.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Seeing it tomorrow night

    by manifestchaos

    I don't have high hopes. So Mr. Sommers, don't fuck it up! All I need is cool action sequences, bearable dialogue/performances, and less unfunny comedy shtick than either of the Transformers movies. Deal?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Get your BATTLE RATTLE?

    by DatoMan413

    Okay, that's enough for me.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Don't forget to include BIG LOB in G.I. Joe 2.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    It is (kinda) understood that he is out of this one, as he needs to stay on the sidelines, or else Cobra organization would never be formed. <BR> But the ball should be his now.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:12 p.m. CST

    I think they assume this will bomb

    by Alec.Eiffel

    no midnight showings and only showing four times tommorow at my local 20 screen multiplex.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:17 p.m. CST

    BigLob does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Have fun with this tb GibsonUSA...<p> BIG LOB is countin' on you bro.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:18 p.m. CST

    What is wrong with the AICN guys admitting they might be wrong?

    by GravitysRainbow

    In the other threads, everyone made a hissy fit about payola or doing a favor for Paramount. What's there to be said, though, for some of the staff just saying that they jumped the gun? Though I think those initial opinions were warranted, I think it's the sort of thing we should appreciate as oppose to what the status quo is around here.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:18 p.m. CST

    What is wrong with the AICN guys admitting they might be wrong?

    by GravitysRainbow

    In the other threads, everyone made a hissy fit about payola or doing a favor for Paramount. What's there to be said, though, for some of the staff just saying that they jumped the gun? Though I think those initial opinions were warranted, I think it's the sort of thing we should appreciate as oppose to what the status quo is around here.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Going to a Sunday matinee.

    by Lucasblows

    I refuse to pay full price for this.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    ps. the true COBRA organization exists only in this dojo.<p> Evil dojo's all over the world. Every city. Every town. That's the KK3 way.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    That's weird that there is no midnight showings Alec

    by sfgeek

    It's showing at midnight at our big screen theater here in Denver. I'm debating on whether to see it tonight or not. All I know is that a struck a deal with my wife. Double feature, Joe and then Julie V. Julia. I think Streep has it made though. Been watching season one of the cartoon to get in the mood. Most of the reviews have made me fairly optimistic, because at one point in time I was furious. Hope Sommers doesn't let us down. Yo Joe!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB is the environmentally friendly choice.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Do you know how much energy those accelerator suits use up?<BR> BIG LOB does it for FREE!<BR><BR> BIG LOB wears his high school basketball shirt, tucked neatly into cargo pants. He washes them in the sink so as to minimize harmful detergents. It's the little things that count.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Will it be "crazy cool" and "crazy fun?"

    by James Westfall

    What other types of "crazy" might it be?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Needs more Serpentor!

    by runfoodrun

    Even if he's in it, it needs more! And those twins, and Zartan...but definitely Serpentor!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Nio midnight showings? You must live in a small town

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Here it's playing on at least 5 screens here at midnight tonight. I am going, but I am sure it will be shitty.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Porkchop Sandwiches!

    by gavdiggity

    I'll be happy when i get a big-screen Fensler adaptaion.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:31 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB killed Serpentor in the prequel.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    It's on youtube. That zero second video? Yeah...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    or a big screen adaptation, that it

    by gavdiggity

    Fuck it, when will we find out about the Seattle District 9 screening, already?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    What the hell is BIG LOB?!?!

    by Delagoya

    I hate missing out on inside jokes.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:33 p.m. CST

    the trailers for this movie are pretty great

    by turketron_2

    Been fooled by those before, but the positive reviews on this movie have surprised me. I'll probably go see this with the 7 bucks I didn't use on shitformers.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Dedicated to G.I. Joe.......

    by thelordofhell

    getting it's ass handed to it by "A Perfect Getaway". LOL!! I can't believe people are gonna fall for the "hype" of G.I. Joe. Let's go through the motions shall we, rumors of a horrible time on the set, studio spies saying the bosses almost puked when they saw the footage, hardly any sneak peaks, no showings for critics, getting ass kicked at Comic-Con, pouring budget money into an internet campaign. We're gonna be reading about how big of a disaster this movie is for years.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    not a small town at all, I just spoke to soon

    by Alec.Eiffel

    about 25 showings, including 5 midnights have been added since I checked last night. I'm actually kind of excited after the positive reviews here, but I don't think anyone I know would be willing to see this at midnight with me.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:43 p.m. CST

    Positive reviews? Yeah, all 2 of them?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Michael Bey's laughing his ass off right now.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:48 p.m. CST


    by Romoehlio

    seen it today over here in europe! Best movie of the summer in regards to spectacle and fun-times (AFTER UP, but everything is behind UP) - Sienna Miller is GREAT but Channing Tatum is useless! Truly useless...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:50 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    The Paper Chase guy!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Seth Green should sue...

    by Cash907

    This is pathetic, and not even funny.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:53 p.m. CST


    by gnarwhal_evan


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Seriously, who the fuck was asking for Ripcord?

    by AnakinsDiapers

    And then you go ahead and turn the white, blond headed guy from Arkansas into Marlan fuckin Wayans?...Really? Like there aren't enough black joes to choose from. Fucking Roadblock should have been the number one choice. Then there is the cool that is Stalker. Alpine, Doc, etc. etc....Oh, lets not forget BIG LOB. I'm just gonna shake my head in dismay.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:58 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:58 p.m. CST

    I'll go with you Alec

    by sfgeek

    I don't even know you, but as of right now I have to pay for my brother to go (that is how opposed he is to going, I had to bribe him with an admission ticket), and I'm sure you'll pay your own way. I mean I know it is going to suck as far as continuity goes, but it sounds like a fun, fuck 'em up movie. I'm a child of the 80's and even though I wasn't into the comics, I raced everyday after school for the cartoon. I know that is not canon for many of you, but that is what I had and I live by it. I know this movie is not going to be the cartoon, I'll accept that now (I mean, for fuck's sake, in the cartoon Storm Shadow and Spirit had the respectful rivalry going on), but I still have a feeling that is going to be a "fun" movie. Only time will tell. My heart says shitty, but my desire for fun says Hooray!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:05 p.m. CST

    by Alec.Eiffel

    I wish Quick Kick and Jinx were going to be in this. I forgot all about them until right now.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:07 p.m. CST

    ah, John Hughes IS dead

    by Alec.Eiffel


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST


    by FuckMichaelBay

    FERRIS BUELLER was the bible of my childhood.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST

    this was stupid

    by mitortilla

    buy me that machine that erases my memory.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:14 p.m. CST

    for those of you who don't know, BIG LOB

    by smackfu

    was the Jar Jar Binks/Skids & Mudflap/Poochie the Rockin Dog of the GI JOE animated movie from the 80s

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:18 p.m. CST

    If you think this movie won't suck

    by mitortilla

    just check out cobra commander

  • FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT THE FUCK 2009, stop it you fucking dark year.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Transformers 2 SUCKS

    by Trannyformers_Apologist

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Michael Gay is TERRIBLE director

    by Trannyformers_Apologist

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:27 p.m. CST


    by codereduk

    What a blow, this guy owns so much of my good movie memories. What a legend

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Fuck 2009

    by Kief_Ledger

    We've gotten pretty much nothing but crap movies the entire year, and a ton of great celebrities have kicked the can. 2009 sucks.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:28 p.m. CST

    John Hughes is dead, and you want to talk GI JOE?!?

    by D.Vader

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Irony he died the day before GI JOE comes out

    by lockesbrokenleg

    The 80s really are dead!!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:33 p.m. CST


    by codereduk

    Man, you ain't kidding. It feels like it's been nothing but UN-cool news in 2009

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Saw it at a screening

    by T 1000 xp professional

    and i must say it's what transformers should've been. Of course, some things about transformers had better production values, but this toy movie kept pretty much kept the design of vehicles and sets( not costumes lol i wishh) and it ended up being funner that that 2.5 hr long robot movie.. much funner.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:54 p.m. CST

    it was a fun movie, I'm gonna see it again.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:55 p.m. CST

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:56 p.m. CST

    third R.O.C. from the sun

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:59 p.m. CST

    the word funner is acceptable for GI JOE

    by T 1000 xp professional

    See it with a lot of friends . You'd be surprised how much they kept from the show.... Other notes: shots from the trailer mainly the street/train scene looked like ripoffs of the Spiderman movies and surprisingly worked out fine in the movie. Those "enhancing" non-original cartoon suits are actually pretty cool. As of right now that's the only stuff that comes to my head to tell you guys.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:01 p.m. CST

    destro's mouth animation is meh.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Lol, it's what Transfomers should have been

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Fuck. At least the robots in Transformers look similar to the cartoon ones. Fuck you asshole.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:24 p.m. CST

    At least the robots in Transformers look similar to the cartoon

    by ironic_name

    = greatest line in history of aicn. <P> now you know.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:27 p.m. CST

    locke as i said they didn't keep the costumes

    by T 1000 xp professional

    did you see the movie? At least in this movie you were invested on some level, whereas I didn't care at allllllllll in transformers....mind you, I thought this was gonna be a suicide inducing experience. I ended up cheering and laughing most of the way through. I'm honestly sorry if you were expecting a different experience.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:30 p.m. CST

    I'd also take Sienna Miller over Megan Fox :P

    by T 1000 xp professional

    I like my women with some life in them.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:34 p.m. CST

    the burn effects on <P> <P> spoilers!

    by ironic_name

    destro and jgl are quite good.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:35 p.m. CST

    I'll take the invisible ninja girl over sienna, but I'd try to j

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:36 p.m. CST

    uggle them both.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:38 p.m. CST

    They're still cartoon characters

    by lockesbrokenleg

    I don't know how anyone could invest in Snake Eyes when he wears a mask over his face the entire time. Yeah, he's a cool fighter, but other than that the movie does away with his cool backstory.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:38 p.m. CST

    sadly, I think silver surfer had better liquid metal effects

    by ironic_name

    than destro, otherwise this was a great dumb movie.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Snake Eyes Prequel?!

    by blhotz

    J/K... FUCK Prequels... and GO G I JOE!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:52 p.m. CST

    blhotz, there are really cool flashbacks to snake eyes as a chil

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:58 p.m. CST

    yess Mr. Ironic

    by T 1000 xp professional

    you beat me to acknowledging invisible ninja girl :)

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Hearing JGL yell "Cobraaaa!" in this game trailer

    by Dingbatty

    is all you need to experience to know this will be horrible.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Oops! Here is the tinyurl

    by Dingbatty

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:33 p.m. CST

    How could Gi Joe ever be as great as Transformers 2 ?

    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    Bay and Transformers 2 gave us so much.... <P> Blatantly uses the sames scenes and locations from just about every other action movie ever made<P> Lingering close up of John Turturro hairy asshole<P> Devastators balls clanging around<P> Leo getting tasered in the nuts<P> Midgets humor<P> Wheelie farting<P> Wheelie humping Megan Fox<P> Farting Appliancebots with penis weapons<P> BumblPee's butt cheeks<P> Male dogs humping<P> Sam's mom getting high and tackling people<P> Megan Fox looking clean with perfect (porn star) makeup after being blow off a rooftop and rolling around on the ground.<P> Cussing ghetto thugged out bad stereotype robots in blackface<P> Stripperbot giving Sam a lap dance<P> Pretender tentacle rape<P> 3 bad stereotype comic relief characters<P> Transformers who hog all the screen time<P> 10 different comic relief characters<P> Soundwave useless wasted never transforms little screen time and dialogue<P> Devastator is only there to remove stones from pyramid killed by twins and humans...wasted <P> The Fallen is underdeveloped appears out of nowhere and dies easily with in 5 mins.<P> Twins, wheelie and Jetfire have the most screen time and dialogue<P> Cool Transformers and fan favorites get very little screen time and dialogue<P> Poorly shot boring soulless action scenes: 1 sec of robots fighting cut 5 seconds of Shia screaming cut to 1 sec of robots fighting behind some trees.<P> Extreme close up transformations<P> Shaky cam ADHD editing<P> Panning 360 rotating sun flare camera shots with cheesy music every 5 minutes.<P> Bad story<P> Lazy plot<P> Horrible pacing<P> Terrible Linkin Park score<P> Tons of continuity errors<P> Dumb fucked up just shitty as fuck kiddy comedy<P> Vapid dialogue<P> A lot of Ad lib dialogue and dumb one liners<P> Blatant overacting<P> Terrible robot designs that are so incoherent and messy people can't tell who's who other than BB and Prime.<P> Insulting and boring<P> The whole movie take place during sunset<P> Considered the worst summer blockbuster ever made<P> Roger Ebert and other critics and movie sites insult the fans<P>.<P>We shall never forget what Bay has given us....NEVER FORGET...<P>How Could GI JOE or any big budget movie ever top that EPIC GREATNESS of celluloid ?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:37 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    Fuck. Your tired routine is old. Are you going to do this all year?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:40 p.m. CST

    DC/Marvel and GI Joe Cobra Island

    by Doctor Cosmic

    Those videos were pure shit...Punisher 04 was better than both, even action-wise. And it sounds like that unfunny, nerd douchebag who does the Marvel/DC YouTube shit is doing a voice or two. Utter shit. Doc

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:43 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB is a simple man.......

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    He doesnt need much. He's the type of guy where, even if he got tons of money, he'd still be driving in his Chevy Cobalt (with head head sticking out the sunroof) to the local TGIFriday's to meet with buddies. Yet, when duty calls, he's nothing but first class!<BR> Thats just the kinda guy he is...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Let's see - some GI JOE negative shit -

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Terrible acting Black leather costumes Ray Park wasted Slow mo robot fight scenes Dennis Quaid wasted Show the most important scene in the trailers. zero respect for the cartoon Dialog in commercial. "Let's go!" WTF

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:48 p.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Seen the JGL mask in a poster today at the cinema

    by savagedave

    Is it even meant to be a big secret. And Destro too actually.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:49 p.m. CST

    [sing it again!!]

    by GibsonUSA Returns

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:50 p.m. CST

    GI Joe - or When the Stupid Just Won't Stop

    by zer05um

    I'm really pushed to choose which is a worse experience. Transformers 2 or GI Joe. I think that maybe Joe is better by a span, simply because it announces itself as lunatic stupidity from the beginning and keeps with that rather than Transformers 2 which had the elements of a passable film buried in the mire of Bay's mishandling. Joe is dopey, dumb and in places just completely stupid (for example the sinking ice) and the fx work is patchy in the extreme. Go see it if you really have nothing else to do, including DIY root canal work. Either way, another disaster of a genre movie. What is so sad is that it'll make enough money for a sequel. Colour me excited. Really.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:51 p.m. CST

    In fact, in the UK they seem to be marketing it

    by savagedave

    off Sienna Miller, at least from the posters.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:51 p.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:54 p.m. CST

    I'm not sure why they chose Duke and Ripcord...

    by GibsonUSA Returns be the two "guys" of the movie. Duke maybe, cause he's the generic leader dude (TMNT Leonardo)...but Ripcord?? As someone said, why not have Roadblock in there? A huge badass (without accelerator suit) busting people up.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Sienner Miller better be saving those bucks

    by lockesbrokenleg

    After this is over the only work she'll be doing is Lifetime movies

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:03 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB announces his move to Cobra, then does it.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    That's why Cobra Commander wears a mask... <BR><BR> Big Lob makes his move!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:05 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB's MOVES cannot be plotted out in the script....

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Their awesomeness cannot be explained through print. The director can only yell action, and BIG LOB does it!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:13 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB teaches youth the proper way to wear pants.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Pulled up all the way, buckled tightly. Now run along kids, and dont do drugs.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:17 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB doesnt do PSAs. His whole LIFE is a PSA!!

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Big Lob goes for the gold!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:19 p.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:20 p.m. CST

    LOB eliminates the need for your local karate school.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    HONOR<BR> RESPECT<BR> TEAMWORK<BR> DISCIPLINE<BR> <BR><BR> BIG LOB teaches these to the children of the world.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:25 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB doesnt getup in slo-mo with camera circling around.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Because Cobra doesnt knock BIG LOB down! <BR> <BR> BIG LOB also doesn't walk in slo-mo towards the camera in a line of people looking cool. BIG LOB is the workhorse!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:32 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB doesnt pose at the end of the movie like Star Wars...

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    ...with all the "good guys"... <BR><BR> BIG LOB is already halfway to the airport on the cell phone with MA LOB and family. BIG LOB has is priorities straight!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:38 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB's buddy Tunnel Rat made it to Resolute, but no BIG LOB

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    MA LOB has a few words for that director...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:42 p.m. CST

    I am seeing this tonight at Midnight...

    by Kirbdaddy

    then catching a G.I. Joe/Transformers double feature at the drive-in this weekend!!! It's going to be AWESOME!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Tomax and Xamot

    by nostairway

    Were the names of the twins mentioned above. Just had to to clear that up. And yes, I'm a huge nerd.

  • Toodles, folks.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:15 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:48 p.m. CST


    by MrHyde

    fun fa fun fun fun. fun fun fun. fun fun fun fun. fa fun fun fun fun. fun. fun. fun fun. fun.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:09 p.m. CST

    way to go idonotseek

    by T 1000 xp professional

    you gave lockes some material. That guy was running on empty. lol I understand that whole "fun" peeve, I contributed, but w/e man it is what it is.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Signals this movie is going to be bad

    by mitortilla

    doesn't look anything like the cartoon yet they have fake ass cartoon cgi everybody is related because they couldn't come up with a better backstory accelerator suits directed by the guy that brought you van helsing they have black suits, because that's what's gonna make it look more real. cobra commander is played by a little kid

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:03 p.m. CST

    I'm sure it's fun, but is it GOOD?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    It looks like Fantastic Four.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:10 p.m. CST


    by batmarv

    Saw it earlier here in Ireland. Pretty awful in every way. Miller's tits are the best thing in it.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Paramount decided to screen the movie to geek critics

    by Bladerunner751

    They knew the older critics would pan the flick so they screened the movie to the internet geeks to manipulate rotten tomatoes. Also there are plenty of midnight screenings around the country and the movie is tracking an over 50 million dollar opening weekend.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Bruno was supposed to get 50 mil too

    by lockesbrokenleg

    That fucker dropped like a rock.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:28 p.m. CST

    "cobra commander is played by a little kid"

    by Alec.Eiffel

    The guy is almost 30, just because he was a little kid on a TV show almost 15 years ago doesn't mean he still is. Also, it is not unthinkable that a person in his late 20s might start a terrorist orginization, especially if they have money behind them.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST

    BIG LOB prefers that people not say he looks like Obama.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    BIG LOB is a man of the people. He worries of anything that could take his awesomeness for political purposes. <BR><BR> Besides, if anything....BIG LOB doesnt resemble Obama....Obama resembles BIG LOB!!<BR> BIG LOB was mainstream first! Don't call it a comeback!! <BR> He's been here for yrs.!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Harry was paid off -I've seen this pile o trash

    by Simply_Egotesticle

    If you are old enough to remember the cartoon, you're old enough to know better than to pay a dime for this. Instead, save your money for a turn at getting your dick sucked by Harry, as he's clearly into whoring himself these days. You Harry, are an ignorant prick. You've sold out, because You know this movie is horrible. You know just how bad it is, and yet, you post lies because they bought you. You and all the positive reviews this site had. Transformers 2 is not a great movie -not when you compare it to the great dramatic works of the masters over the last 100 years blah, blah, ad nauseum.... But you bashed it, and not G.I.Joe? Shame on you. Shame on the directives you gave the staff to hype this film. I'm pissed I wasted any time seeing this travesty at all. I'd be even more pissed if I'd have had to pay for it. I hope Sommers gets stuck with the bill for the disaster he orchestrated, and is forced to pay every cent back to the studio while working as an fluffer for The Hon. Michael Bay!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:34 p.m. CST

    it has no competition this weekend

    by Bladerunner751

    Joe should easily dominate the box office. I think this movie has been taking an unfair beating. Star Trek had a pretty dumb plot too but it was fun and made a lot of money.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Seriously, the BIG LOB stuff is getting old already

    by Mr Incredible

    Going the way of "Has a beer and cheats on his wife" and "Gotta Eat!" Just don't burn out "FUN".

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:44 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    I could have seen Star Trek again.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:50 p.m. CST


    by Ace of Knaves

    you, know the one where multicultural mercenaries in village people outfits took on a cadre of shrill costumed villains bent on world domination, engaging in pitch laser battles where no one got hurt? the same show that aired an episode where said evil terrorist organization held a fucking telethon, and its most prominent badass donned a tux and did standup??? Maybe i wasnt one of those kids fortunate enough to grow up with rare copies of the long thought lost "Orson Welles' Gi Joe" with all its subtleties and nuance, but the show i remember was deeply stupid, and could only produce an at least half stupid film if it were to retain any resemblance to its source material (which in my opinion it does, heavily) So if i hear one more person talk about their memories of this great cartoon being tarnished, im going to puke. What, because it was the particular brand of stupid you happened to grow up, its the only stupid you can tolerate? please! seriously , do you want a stripped down, hyper realistic, nolan style g.i. joe, because that would be just generic terrorists versus mercenaries, which equals boring as hell. Do you want an uber faithful adaptation, where everyones wearing their distinct little cute military outfits(instead of battle armor, jesus why would field mercenaries ever need that shit, right?) or cobra's wearing a bright blue hood with eyeholes over his face, or better, a featureless plate of metal? I think theyve done a reasonable job given the source material. its very recognizable as joe as far as im concerned, just a few things different.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:50 p.m. CST


    by Ace of Knaves

    you, know the one where multicultural mercenaries in village people outfits took on a cadre of shrill costumed villains bent on world domination, engaging in pitch laser battles where no one got hurt? the same show that aired an episode where said evil terrorist organization held a fucking telethon, and its most prominent badass donned a tux and did standup??? Maybe i wasnt one of those kids fortunate enough to grow up with rare copies of the long thought lost "Orson Welles' Gi Joe" with all its subtleties and nuance, but the show i remember was deeply stupid, and could only produce an at least half stupid film if it were to retain any resemblance to its source material (which in my opinion it does, heavily) So if i hear one more person talk about their memories of this great cartoon being tarnished, im going to puke. What, because it was the particular brand of stupid you happened to grow up, its the only stupid you can tolerate? please! seriously , do you want a stripped down, hyper realistic, nolan style g.i. joe, because that would be just generic terrorists versus mercenaries, which equals boring as hell. Do you want an uber faithful adaptation, where everyones wearing their distinct little cute military outfits(instead of battle armor, jesus why would field mercenaries ever need that shit, right?) or cobra's wearing a bright blue hood with eyeholes over his face, or better, a featureless plate of metal? I think theyve done a reasonable job given the source material. its very recognizable as joe as far as im concerned, just a few things different.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Not Bad...

    by Maestro610

    Its really not a terrible movie... Stuff blows up and Storm Shadow vs. Snake Eyes is amazing. I hate Sienna Miller both as a person and an actress but if you're going to this flick to watch great acting you're an idiot. At the end of the day the ninja fights are cool, the stuff that blows up looks great and the movies downsides are manageable. Being open and honest I got to see a screening so I can't say I paid for it. I saw it with my brother and we had fun... It is easily better than the Transformers movies and worth it to see with your friends.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST

    In defense of the 80s cartoon....

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Yeah it got a bit silly later on, but initially it was a military-ish great cartoon!<BR> The Joes did not look like the village people imo...guys like Duke, Flint, Lady Jaye, Beachhead, Snake Eyes, Hawk, etc. looked pretty badass for a kid's cartoon....and many of the vehicles were vaguely based on real life military units.<BR> Who could forget the aircraft carrier toy?<BR> The accelerator suits imo are way more silly than cartoon lasers, which were understandable given a kids cartoon.<BR><BR> Why bash the source material? People did this to defend Transformers too...they trashed the original cartoon. Why? If the source material is THAT bad...then why is there are new movie based off of it?? Obviously there's an audience out there that wants to see more of it. DUH.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    All these arguments are moot

    by seagrass

    The original Marvel comic series is superior in every possible way. I'll be happy with the movie if they *only* get the Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow parts right. Screw the rest.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:04 p.m. CST

    I seriously doubt that

    by seagrass

    the cartoon was the "original source material" for the film. The comic book had just about every element that they have shown in the trailers (and for the most part, no one ever died in the cartoon series). All I want to know is: where are the damn Dreadnoks? Gimme some chocolate covered donuts and grape soda!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST

    I dunno GibsonUSA

    by Ace of Knaves

    because they were popular, and things can be popular in spite of inherent stupidity/cheesiness/half-bakedness, due mainly to the inherent coolness of their premise, the characters, and the action they showcase, case in point, The transformers cartoon and films, the joe cartoon (which i am a fan of, but can come to terms with its idiocy) and most likely the joe film.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:13 p.m. CST

    Ace of Knaves is a tit

    by Simply_Egotesticle

    This movie fails at being a movie. If it starred bunnies and cupcakes and rainbows, i'd still want it to be an interesting story. The fact that the source material is preposterous is no excuse, because ALL COMICS AND CARTOONS ARE DEEPLY CHILDISH AND FANTASY BASED. We know this you twat. Don't insult everyone here by mounting an argument for Hasbros perfect failure here. All people want, is to be entertained. This movie out right refuses to do that. What is severely irritating about this whole thing, is that Harry owns a site that's obviously hugely influential. AICN should be run with a critical eye that helps to preserve standards that Hollywood insists on stooping beneath. If the fans didn't demand it, you wouldn't have ever had the Dark Knight, or Iron man or LOTR (insert quality fave geek flick here). The bloggers and nerd crits must be relentless in their attack, not cow-tow for a few bucks. I call bullshit on that kids. Straight up, Bullshit.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Uh, yeaah, I'm sure It's better than Transformers

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Where armed solders can waltx right into the Eiffel Tower, and a MILITARY ORGANIZATION gets permission to blow the hell out of France. Sureeeee.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:21 p.m. CST

    I just saw it for free....

    by thesinofthesky

    and I still kind of feel ripped off. It was a movie at best. I'll give it 4.5/10.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:22 p.m. CST

    This site losing crediblity with GI JOE and FUNNY PEOPLE praise

    by Tall_Boy66

    I guess everyone loves money, though. It is fucking awesome. Nothing wrong with selling out, really, but it's kind of transparent when you hitch your wagon to FUNNY PEOPLE and GI JOE

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Lock.....are you seriously that un self aware??

    by southafricanguy

    you realize you are pointing out inane logic in a Stephen Sommers film in order to show how that makes it worse than TF2??? You know? that massive piece of garbage that has set a new bench mark for inane lack of logic, plot, characterization, or even much that makes sense?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:26 p.m. CST

    wow. youre your own little elite military force arent you?

    by Ace of Knaves

    Hey, im with you on demanding quality on geek projects, im die hard on that. Im the first one demanding realism and maturity in properties like Batman and Iron Man but not for the Joes. Because those other properties you mention actually have more potential as realistic, psychologically complex stories. Not this. The movie looks like nothing but entertaining to me, ive been jazzed by every trailer ive seen thus far, i will know for sure in a few hours. The story is interesting enough to me. Cobra wants to rule Earth , Joes want to stop them. Thats all i require out of Joe, and thats pretty much the gist of what Joe has consistently given us the past 30 years(and as for Resolute, with all its "mature" posturing and bloody violene, if you think a major studio would ever try to sell a live action film like that to america under the Joe name you are nuts). There was never a G.I. Joe: The Long Halloween or G.I Joe:Demon In A Bottle. it was , is, and will always be, for the children, if you wish to re-enter the world of Joe, lighten up and regress your brain just a bit, and as with all adaptations, even the much revered Dark Knight and Iron Man be prepared for a few changes here and there in change of visuals, plot and characters.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:27 p.m. CST

    gijoe only has to be vaugely coherent and it

    by southafricanguy

    will already be way better than Tf2....

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:37 p.m. CST


    by PixarsSUP

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:37 p.m. CST


    by PixarsSUP

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:37 p.m. CST


    by PixarsSUP

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:42 p.m. CST

    the best films this year

    by cloudrider`

    so far... coraline and pixar's up. by far. looking forward to the road, district 9, avatar, lovely bones. any summer where bay and sommers have a movie out is a crappy summer at the movies. hooray to the geeks that helped make transformers 2 the biggest moneymaker, and will no doubt do the same for GI JOE. you'll ensure more crappy films to come from these two lousy hacks.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Joseph Gordon-Levitt looks like a little kid

    by mitortilla

    I know he's my age, he's an awesome actor but he has that man-child look like josh hartnett that only works on some kinds of roles. Leo Dicaprio broke out of that, its hard. Still its bad casting.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:46 p.m. CST

    coraline and pixar's up - overrated shit fests

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Star Trek is better and has a more coherent story than UP did.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:46 p.m. CST

    You know whats funny...

    by Simply_Egotesticle

    is that you've just used a line practically pulled from this terrible movie. I have seen this movie. I am warning you you will be ticked. You have not seen the movie. I have the advantage in knowing about what I am speaking about. I liked Transformers 2. I liked it because it was so silly. Joe, on the other hand, is just terrible. Regress all you want, but your adult brain will not allow you to get caught up in a storey where ICE SINKS! Sorry, I'm all about fun, but this is not the fun you're looking for. I have one caveat; If you LIKED Van Helsing and the Mummy - then although this is WORSE and the action is horrible, the effects are half baked may like this. Then again, I suppose people like his stuff. Some people like crack cocaine. It's all good. The movie reeks of Sommers ineptitude, but hey cut the guy some slack -Paramount only kicked him out of the edit room, and threw him off of the project. He must be AMAZING. As a kid growing up, i often thought " gee wiz, Frankenstein is cool, but if only he had a glass jar of lightening for a brain, that would be so kewl!!!" I don't know. Twelve bucks could buy you so many cooler things than a ticket to disappointment.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:51 p.m. CST

    by glenn_the_frog

    So, the office had free passes to go see this movie. The commercials made me loathe the prospect of seeing it, and certainley not spending money on it. But it had been getting a surprising number of positive reviews. And free? With the gang? Sure, I was willing to throw time at it and hang with my buddies, even if I wasn't about to risk money. It was fun. Not great, but fun. First off, the commercials are completley assinine. the commercials are shitty beyond belief but they give away like... NOTHING and focus exclusivley on the worst 30 seconds or so of the movie, which includes some bad one liners and over the top ridiculous effects. They're bad commercials, that don't show anything of the movie. The plot was simple and characters one dimensional, but it did have a couple interesting twists. There were aspects that were different from the cartoon that will drive fans nuts (Baroness doesn't have an accent for example) and there's other things that they pretend the movie doesn't have, that people were expecting, that it actually does. (Not spoiling those.) it was a great big toy commercial in the tradition of the 80s but it didn't matter. It worked and it was a lot of fun. it wasn't godawful bad and hard to look at raping childhood like Transformers was, and it did NOT insult my intelligance in the way Transformers, ID4, Jurassic Park and their ilk do. It was simple and straightforward, but it wasn't insultingly stupid. (Or at least I didn't feel it while watching it like I do on those movies.) The action sequences were good and varied, and I won't go into detail on them since the commercials really haven't given away anything. All in all.. Hrm. It was fun, but I don't think I could watch it a second time, if that makes any sense. You won't be invested in the characters and there's no true sense of suspence. Its straightforward, but not insultingly dumb like transformers or ID4. Theres just not enough depth to warrant repeats. But there's a lot of fun action, pretty much nonstop as some attempts at character. If you have any desire to see it, or liked the old show, or straight up action movies are your thing, then its probably a theater catcher. I guess the best thing I can say about it is, I'll actually pay money to see the inevitable sequal in 2 years.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Ok, well fair enough

    by Ace of Knaves

    If youve seen it... for the record I liked The Mummy, hated Mummy Returns, couldnt even sit through Van Helsing, but i just gotta see this for myself. The positives i heard sound like things i want to hear. I recall last summer the ggek community being heavily divided on Hellboy 2, which i loved and my best friend absolutely hated. I personally have never unserstood why people love the Princess Bride so goddamned much . So i gotta see this one for myself and form my own opinion. Its good to know your anger is coming from an informed place, though.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:03 a.m. CST

    stupid lack of paragraphs and edits

    by glenn_the_frog

    Blah. big block of text. Long summary short... The reviews that go on about how its fun say all that can be said about it. Its not deep at all, but its not insulting stupid either, and the action is good. Its EXACTLY LIKE THE CARTOON IF YOU AREN'T LIVING ON PURE NOSTALGIA.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:06 a.m. CST

    Glad you see my point - didn't want to get into a flame war...

    by Simply_Egotesticle

    I loved TF2 bcause it was so irreverant, but mainly because the fight in the forrest was so technically brilliant, and well executed. I like the optimus/jetfire thing, but HATED jetfire's character. Lots of things that wre really dumb -but I had a great time. i left feeling like I was a kid all over again. For me, Joe was the complete opposite. So of course I'm calling for blood on this, because money talks, and harry is feeding the shitty movie making machine. Optimism is important, and I'm all for individualism - I just hate when people get swindled. For the record, I agree with your tastes -cept for Hellboy2. Mignola creates cool shit, but the movie felt too del torro -but that's another conversation. All i'm saying is that if you end up feeling ripped off afterwards as well (which in all fairness you may not) then you should take note of the fact that there is a strange amount of good press for this flick, and damn it all -it's the lies I can't abide.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    I don't think TF 2 the best move everest, but it was so

    by lockesbrokenleg

    damn fun to watch. Sure, I blocked out the rap robots, but everything else was very good. Yeah, Sam's fucking roommate was a douche, but he did have a point to the story because he brought back the Section Seven guy.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    Thank you, glenn, nostalgia does blind folks

    by Ace of Knaves

    I remember revisiting TMNT, Joe , C.O.P.S. (which still has a badass intro sequence/theme)and other cartoons of my childhood, damn do they not hold up to my memories. Only one that does is Batman : TAS, even though some of the animation and drawing from the Fox years now looks a bit creaky.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:14 a.m. CST

    by glenn_the_frog

    Remember folks, the cartoon once had an episode, and I exagerate not at all... where the joes got notes that "the Viper is coming", and prcoeeded to follow clues and take out multiple Cobra organizations based on what the Viper wrote... and at the end, all their forces prepared for ultimate battle... it turned out to be the VINDOW VIPER!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:15 a.m. CST

    by glenn_the_frog

    He vashes and vipes the vindows, the Vindow Viper does!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Glen the Frog

    by Simply_Egotesticle

    TF2 is a movie that should be categorized as self-effacing. If you felt it was insulting, then you miss the big joke. I big part of this giant robot movie, is that it relishes the fact taht it's a giant robot movie spectacle. If you on the other hand, truely did not feel insulted by Joe, then I'm sure Hasbro will be happ to hear that their film has found an audience in you. Just to be safe, maybe you should consider wearing a helmet regularly around the house and/or resigning from which ever government job you currently hold.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Glenn i didnt wanna go there

    by Ace of Knaves

    in my first post i was gonna talk about Vindow Viper, but opted to invoke the Cobrathon instead

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:40 a.m. CST


    by glenn_the_frog

    Bravo. Making retardation jokes about me. Very witty. Insert applause here. Congratulations, a man who liked Transformers 2 has suceeded in annonymously insulting someone who said that Joe lacked characterization, plot, drama and suspense, but that it did have good action. Good for you.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Who cared if it is based on the toy, the cartoon or the comic

    by Continentalop

    This movie looks absolutely shitty. You want to pay to sit through this, go ahead, but I think you've got to forfeit any right to judge or criticize another film. <p> It would be like letting a Twilight fan criticize the works of another author, like James Ellroy or Cormac McCarthy - Sorry, but you've lost all credibility.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:06 a.m. CST

    ok, so according to Lock, Pixar films are over

    by southafricanguy

    rated crapfests, Tf2 has a better story (i was nt aware TF2 even had one) than the Matrix, and Public Enemies was boring. While Bay's ultra dumb and juvenile cartoon was good. And you know Avatar will suck and bomb Lock? Going by your track record I hope you really hate Avatar, because then I know it will be fucking brilliant or a masterpiece, because you obviously hate plot, characterization, thematic content, intelligence, or logic in your films......

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:10 a.m. CST

    Did someone just compare BIG LOB to Jar Jar?

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    That's ridiculous. First of all, BIG LOB doesnt even have enough screentime to qualify for a Jar Jar comparison. Secondly, BIG LOB isnt comic relief...he is merely the greatestt.<BR> Most of the humor in the 1987 movie doesnt come from comic relief characters to begin came from the when the dog kept bringing back the dynamite, and Nemesis Enforcer threw the octopus thing in Sgt Slaughters face.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:11 a.m. CST

    Yeah, dude, because we all know your opinions are

    by lockesbrokenleg

    so Damn right. You can like UP all you want, but I still think it's overrated shit. But, hey, it made money righ?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:12 a.m. CST

    And I never said TF 2 had a better story. Besides

    by lockesbrokenleg

    who gives a shit? It's just MY opinion. Don't ALL movies have SOME sort of story? God, you're a fucking asshole.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:16 a.m. CST

    Best ACTION Movie since....

    by joee60

    Best Action Movie since TEAM AMERICA

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:17 a.m. CST

    We saw a new spot for it today, and

    by Dingbatty

    my girlfriend said it was insulting (there is a scene where one of the guys, Rip Cord or Duke says something like "okay, ladies" as a emasculating insult. My girlfriend doesn't know shit from shinola when it comes to ARAH -- though she does recognize Cobra Commander, Snake Eyes, and Scarlett, and she thinks the original Baroness character is sexy and badass -- but she took offense at that line, and said at the character on the tv, "Hey, now, there ARE real ladies on your team, you sexist asshole."<p>Way to lose the female audience, Sommers. Larry Hama created an inclusive universe, with characters of a wide variety of ethnicities, and strong female roles (for this reason, G.I. Joe has an unusually high number of females in its fandom, for a beloved geek property).

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:19 a.m. CST

    Sommers showed more balls than Snyder

    by JohnRyder

    not literaly of course (watchmen cannot be beaten in that) i am talking about the murdering of the -SPOILER-. I could not belive my eyes, that a children flick went there where a supposedly adult watchmen dared not. Even without blood tha impact was much stronger

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:27 a.m. CST

    The cartoon doesn't hold up now,

    by Dingbatty

    because it didn't hold up, back then. Kids like me who were fans of the Marvel comic thought the cartoon that debuted a few years later was rubbish in comparison. Yet we watched it, anyway, out of excitement over seeing the characters animated (despite the insulting switch of having Scarlett with Duke, or Spirit being the rival of Storm Shadow, or the over-emphasis on the lame Sgt. Slaughter adaptation). And, let's be honest, we watched plenty of toons that we knew were shit, out of boredom, such as He-Man.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Maybe this ? has been posed

    by Bass Ackwards

    But, they're not screening this for critics, but it seems like te critics in thus site saw it? How's that, or why is it critics didn't go to the screnings these guys did?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:34 a.m. CST

    lock, you are more than welcome to your

    by southafricanguy

    opinions, but then try saying "I think" or "imho" as opposed to making statements as if they are fact. No-one ever said my opinions arte more right than anyone elses, but at least I make it clear that its nothing more than my opinion. I dont make grand all-knowing statements like you as if I can predict the future. If you truly think what you do then by all means more power to you buddy. As for calling me an asshole, thats funny coming from you Lock considering the way you appear in talkbacks for movies you say you have no interest in all the time just so you can slag said movies off. If im an asshole Lock, then you are right there beside me buddy....

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:34 a.m. CST

    It's 2:30am Eastern time...first watchers should be returning...

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    ...and posting reviews here soon. <BR><BR> Dont forget to mention BIG LOB in your reviews.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Just got back from midnight showing

    by zacdilone

    I say...silly, popcorn fun. Great nods to the cartoon (and the dolls before the cartoon, too), and over-the-top action scenes make for a harmless and enjoyable flick.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:38 a.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    So, I have to fucking run shit by you everytime I post. It's a movie site. I like movies. I'm not like you. I don't seem to hate every movie, and then maybe like 1 or 2. I like all kinds of movies. So, fuck off shithead.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:39 a.m. CST

    Not sure how this got any positive reviews

    by clockpolitiks

    It was pretty bad. All the acting was either bland or ridiculously over the top. I thought Transformers 2 was terrible, but this takes the fucking cake....with shit icing.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:40 a.m. CST

    FUN?? FUN?? Take it Plankton......

    by thelordofhell

    F is for Fire that burns down the whole town// U is for Uranium.....BOMBS!!// N is for No survivors WHEN YOU......

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:44 a.m. CST

    lock....pal, buddy...where the fuck do I hate

    by southafricanguy

    all movies, please go find any of my posts in other talkbacks. I have only ever shat all over TF2 because it was just that bad. If you like it then awsome for you, and you are more than entitled to like it, but then stop criticizing other people for being interested in or liking gijoe if you truly think TF2 is good. You are the one that acts like a complete cunt by always sharing your negative views about other films in the talkbacks, its all you have been doing here about gijoe, because you cant seem to handle that many are finding it better than TF2 (really no0t difficult). So why dont you go fuck yourself you cunt?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:48 a.m. CST

    Not Godawful

    by tallsy

    It was better Transformers 2. The acting and writing was predictably terrible, but (for the most part) not distractingly bad. The action scenes were pretty good, but some CGI was awful. <p> I don't know why they didn't screen this for critics. If they just took their lumps, they would have saved some bad pub. Heck, I bet most of the reviews would have just said "at least it's better than Transformers 2."

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:48 a.m. CST

    Not Godawful

    by tallsy

    It was better Transformers 2. The acting and writing was predictably terrible, but (for the most part) not distractingly bad. The action scenes were pretty good, but some CGI was awful. <p> I don't know why they didn't screen this for critics. If they just took their lumps, they would have saved some bad pub. Heck, I bet most of the reviews would have just said "at least it's better than Transformers 2."

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Just got back.

    by Shermdawg

    Not bad. The backstory of Rex could've used a bit more work, and Channing isn't the greatest leading man, but it

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Grade: B

    by JusticeSabre

    Can you take an 80s property... A cartoon based on a toy, and make a decent film about it? Without any crazy stereotyping, canyon-sized plot holes, MacGuffins, and crappy characterization? YES. <br> <br> This is by no means Oscar-worthy filmmaking, but it worked. <br> <br> Went in expecting the worst, but walked out satisfied with the bulk of what was presented. <br> <br> "GI Joe" takes the source material and embraces the good, tosses the bad and builds on it rather solidly. <br> <br> There are a few shaky points in regards to dialogue and editing. <br> <br> I'm not really pleased with Cobra Commander's mask at the end. They need to fix that in the next film. <br> <br> For a reimagining, I give it a solid B. It truly could have been as bad as Bay's "Transformers", but dodges that bullet. <br> <br> MICHAEL BAY FUCKING LOST.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Yeah, Michael Bey sure lost

    by lockesbrokenleg

    400 mil and climbing for TF 2.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Yeh Im expecting a repeat of the X3 situation back in 06

    by Ace of Knaves

    Everyone told me how iredeemably , unbelievably bad it was, so i walked in with the lowest expectations and was pleasantly surprised/entertained, if severely annoyed and unnerved by certain glaring elements

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    It was dumb, silly live action cartoon fun

    by Volstaff

    Just got home, it was infinitely more entertaining than transformers 2 or T4 ( I fell asleep a couple times during that soulless crapfest). May not sound like a glowing endorsement, but there ya go. I was entertained, never got bored, and got the feeling the people who made this at least had some affection for the toys they were making a movie from. I got the feeling with Transformers that the only affection the moviemakers, including the cast had was the bigass checks they were getting. I don't get why the studio held this back from most reviewers though. I mean, if T4:Rise of the Machines and tranformers 2 made a shit ton of money and they just flat out sucked, this movie should at least do twice the business. Too tired to go into specificsn and seriously a movie like this doesn't really need any deep analysis. It was silly, and a couple times even the dialogue made me laugh ( not sure if Sommers was being intentional or not ) because it had the cheesy 80's cartoon kind of pointless monologuing/exposition going on. The special effects weren't realistic at all, but again, I think it added to the goofy charm ( and I think maybe Sommers was actually being intentional here). As for characterization, well again it's a cartoon. If you wanna know where this movie fits in with Sommers other stuff, I'd say it's better than his Mummy movies and definitely Van Helsing.I'd put this one behind Deep Rising I guess.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay gives us a glimpse of TF3!!!!!

    by ganymede3010

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:08 a.m. CST

    This movie was fucking terrible.

    by RobMota

    I just got back from seeing this piece of shit. Even though i tried to see it as a live cartoon i still thought it was shit. Completely fucking up the origin. Dont go see this piece of garbage.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:08 a.m. CST

    GI FUN !!!!!

    by thebearovingian

    A Real American FUN-RO!<p>Yo Joe!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:09 a.m. CST

    As an aside,

    by Volstaff

    This being my day off, I saw Funny People earlier in the afternoon and good god.Thank goodness I don't own a gun right now, because I think I would have shot myself after seeing that. How can a movie with so many comedians in it end up being so depressing at the end? There were some great laughs in it, and the guy who plays the doctor was really good, but when it decided to switch gears from being a funny look at comics and the comic scene and turn into a weird bittersweet rom com at the end it just lost me. After all the great reviews it's gotten from the AICN staff, I was really dissapointed. It took GI Joe to wash the taste of regret and depression from my mouth that Funny People left in there.Oy!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:13 a.m. CST

    So, where are the FInal Destination reviews?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Will that movie be compared to TF 2, also?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:27 a.m. CST

    fuck these videos

    by robertplant

    quite possibly the most horrid fucking shit i could ever want to watch. fuck this. this does NOT make me want to watch the movie at all.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:29 a.m. CST

    Geez Lock, what dont you get about why so

    by southafricanguy

    many hate TF2? Again, you are most welcome to like/love it, but many depise the film for damn good reason. Can you defend it in terms of criteria by which good filmaking is judged? Story? Acting? characterization? or how about just well shot and framed action that clearly establishes the geography og the action, or for the action to have an actual purpose? as serve the story or the characters? it keeps being compared to everything because it was so bad for many of us that its now a benchmark for how bad/not so bad something is. So get used to it buddy, its going to happen all the time, just like Batman and Robin is still used as a gauge for how bad something can be....

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:33 a.m. CST

    It's silly!

    by robertplant

    I love how everyone who loves this movie calls it "silly." Picture a gay lispy voice. "Just thee it! It'th amathing! It was tho thilly!" Fuck movies like this. As long as you keep buying tickets, they will keep making them. Don't you get it??? Don't SEE this shit! It'th thilly!!!! FUCK, people!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:36 a.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg


  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:36 a.m. CST


    by robertplant

    Watch a fucking cartoon if you want to see a cartoon. Stop telling me live action, big budget films are cartoons! I KNOW WHAT A CARTOON IS! It is an ANIMATION! This is a LIVE ACTION FEATURE FILM. These fuck bags should be banned. Positive reviews for this shit make me want to ban myself from ever checking out AICN ever again.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:48 a.m. CST

    Just Saw It

    by bigkinggorilla

    I just got back from Rise of Cobra and it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but it was fairly enjoyable. I was hoping for Storm Shadow to come out of the ice at the end but oh well. PS Snake eyes kicks ass in the movie

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:49 a.m. CST

    I'd love to see the Vindow Viper episode adapted

    by Bass Ackwards

    That'd just be such hilarious "fuck you" on the part of the filmmakers.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3 a.m. CST

    i see...

    by cloudrider`

    so coraline and pixar's up lack coherence, but bayformers 2 is "damn good fun" even without a solid story, let alone coherence. <p> congrats for supporting bay movies. more loud and dumb explosions are sure to head into our big screens. you know who you reminded me of? the zombies in romero's land of the dead. yeah, those mindless hungry for brains rottingfucks who always look in awe at fireworks in the sky.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Who the fuck cares about G.I. Joe...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...when AVATAR is fucking our eyeballs this very December?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:16 a.m. CST

    If you loved the mummy, you will probably dig this.

    by TheDark0Knight

    first off: Stephen Sommers hasnt changed up his style at all..If you hate all of his films you are no doubt hating this. One of the best movie experiences of my childhood was The Mummy, when Returns was coming out I was freaking out, I bought a scorpion king action figure. When I was 14 Van Helsing came out, I loved it. Looking back on those films I can obviously see that they rang from pretty good(the mummy) to pretty damn mediocre(Van Helsing) Stephen Sommers holds a special place in my film loving heart & was definitely one of the first directors who I really knew & would look forward to seeing new flicks by...I saw GI Joe tonight & I loved it. the action is cool & surprisingly violent, the dialogue is almost at a team america level & is pretty hilarious, that might sound like a bad thing but c'mon people this is a film based on a plastic figurine, Im not going in expecting Mamet. some of the f/x were bland as hell but the chase in Paris is super pimp.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:21 a.m. CST

    In other words DarkKnight "If you're a moron you'll love it"

    by IndustryKiller!

    There I fixed that for you.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:23 a.m. CST


    by Stalkeye

    You couldn't have said it better.<p>Props!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:33 a.m. CST

    For the record "Big Dumb Fun" is not an endorsement

    by IndustryKiller!

    It's an apology, plain and simple.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:49 a.m. CST

    The movie sucks!!!!

    by AxeEmAll

    Just watched it. It does not make sense that characters are related, the fact that it is an international organization. Why the hell do Americans call all the shots? Better call it an American organization with other top military pals from other countries helping them out than referring to it as an international organization. The pre-Cobra group makes a LOT more sense than GI Joe as an organization. SPOILERS: Why the heck is Cobra Commander the brother of Baroness, the latter being the ex-fiancee of Duke? The girl feels bad that her brother was left to die by Duke, only to find out that she is controlled by her own brother using nanotechnology, and somehow her feelings for Duke is the one that overpowers nano mind control. Yeah, fall in love so that you'd forget being a Viper. Zartan ending up as the President of the United States by taking the latter's identity using "Polyjuice potion" (nanotech that can change one's features). No wonder that Cobra would absolutely escape in the next movie since he has Zartan in control of the White House. You don't even have to think about this obvious thing that's gonna happen in the sequel. It's SOOO predictable.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Harry & B. Lyons =

    by thegreatwhatzit

    Enough ass-kissing to warrant a truckful of Chapstick. But who can question Harry's credibility. After all,this is the guy who was impassioned with the likes of GODZILLA (remake), TWILIGHT (swear to God, a rave review), blah-blah...and anything that Robert Rodriquez excretes.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:19 a.m. CST


    by TheDark0Knight

    take your cock out of your hand for a second & read my post. Not everyone was 30 when they saw the mummy for the first time.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:01 a.m. CST

    Christopher very good

    by JohnRyder

    I think he was very good in the movie. I would totaly see his Tarkin in the live action Star Wars TV series. No additional make-up is necessary.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Joker: the begining starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt

    by JohnRyder

    better idea than the Baywatch movie and the TJ Hooker movie combined.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Ah the clash of the generations

    by ominus

    geeks of the 70s,80s argue against geeks of the 90s and 00s. blinded nostalgia versus low criteria. movies with serious content versus movies with silly fun.make your choice.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:18 a.m. CST

    Spoilerish question

    by JohnRyder

    who visisted the president? We did not see him/her and it was not Destro, Commander. Is there another bad guy for the sequel? It seemed like the president knew who he was. "are you behind all this?" or something like that. I wish it was some celebrity like Elton John or Michael Douglas. Even better the pope. I would totaly buy this pope/palpatin parallel. Also, what happened to Destro's face? I don't recall seeing it burned. END OF SPOILER Why do they have to chop every action sequence into 12 frame takes? I was hoping for a nice Ray Park action like in TPM. it wasn't even close. And how come 80% of the CGI shots was not rejected by the director? Terrible effects. By the way I think the story was good. Ridiculous beyond belief but perfectly fits "you-are-a-kid-and-playing-with-your-figure-and-accessories" concept

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:24 a.m. CST

    If this movie is a hit,whats the next cartoon

    by ominus

    that hollywood is going to adapt? what do u think? He-man is already in the works,so maybe thundercats are next or MASK (damn i hope so).

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Just shows what a shitty summer it's been for big movies...


    When a piece of shit like G.I Joe is actually being considered as decent.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:53 a.m. CST

    SPOILERS: Why G.I. Joe sucks big time.

    by AxeEmAll

    There were two lovers. Just after their engagement,the girl tells her fiance that he should make sure no harm comes to her SOLDIER brother at a war zone, which the boyfriend promises to do. Then the brother gets "bombed" in a laboratory bunker. The sister gets devastated at the apparent death of her brother and since the fiance feels guilty that he wasn't able to protect his girlfriend's brother from getting killed IN A WAR ZONE, he does not have the guts to comfort her, which caused them to drift apart. The truth is that the brother gets enamored by a new weapon using nanotech in that lab bunker, so he fakes his death and starts developing grand ambitions of dominating the world. Then he injects his dear sis with nanotech so that he could manipulate her mind and transform her into a dominatrix. However, when she later sees her ex-fiance, the nanobots can't seem to block her remembrance of their past love, which is why she becomes good in the end...until the sequel probably. Go figure.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Yo dawg, I heard you like FUN.

    by turketron_2

    So we put FUN in your movie so you can HAVE FUN while you HAVE FUN.

  • I imagine he'll be worried about being "typecast" as Destro, right?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:08 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    This one is like a punch to the gut. <P>

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:15 a.m. CST


    by palimpsest

    That is all.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:16 a.m. CST

    You know that movies have shit the bed

    by the new transported man

    when I haven't yet seen TF2 & I don't plan on seeing GI Joe. I'm that dork who's been holding out for Transformers & GI Joe movies for the last 20 years, the guy who's still not over the slaughter of my beloved Autobots in TF: The Movie. I see what's become of my prized properties, & it shames me.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:18 a.m. CST

    I feel like I jut saw a GIJOE movie!

    by tile_mcgillus

    So. I feel like I got a GIJOE movie. I really do. Did they make some mistakes along the way...absolutely. I would say its a 70% perfect translation to 30% What the hell we're they thinking? <P> - The opening sequence battle was awesome. <P> - The battle in the Pit was just greatness. <P> - They got so many characters almost exactly right. Baroness, Scarlett, Snakeeyes, Storm Shadow, Destro, General Hawk. Just loved it. <P> - Their interpretation of Duke and Ripcord totally worked for me and having them each be the big heroes at the end, awesome. <P> - Accelerator Suits worked for me in this. Although I wish Snakeeyes was coming after Baroness and Storm Shadow in the building as well... <P> -SE/SS battles were epic! <P> -Scarlett/Baroness fight was hot... <P> WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE - Cobra Commander...was really creepy and worked for me, up until he puts on his new mask and screams victory when defeated... <P> - The insular connections that felt forced and unneeded in the script. <P> - Why they ended it underwater...I don't know, too CGI insanity for me. <P> - Duke totally needed to kill more bad guys. He only gets like 4 kills the entire movie. <P> OVERALL: I want to see it again. Its a 7/10 and a good ass time.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:20 a.m. CST

    So this movie has been out for like 8 hours

    by _Palmer_Eldritch

    What's wrong, talkbackers? I was expecting way more backlash by now. <p> I also find it interesting that the RT rating dopped from around 89% (fresh) to something like 43% (rotten) within a day. How is that even possible? Were all the preview reviews plants and Harry Knowles(which by now is almost a Pleonasm)??

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Saw it at midnight and thought, meh...

    by sfgeek

    Not as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was pretty bad. The story line was just garbage. Way too many liberties taken with many of the characters. Some were spot on, but for the most part I felt a little embarrassed for the way that some of the characters were designed and told to act. Honestly, Fraser was one of the best surprises (probably because he was in there for about 5 minutes). The Snake Eyes lips were extremely distracting as was his muscle suit (why do directors feel the necessity to put fake muscle on costumes like Snake Eyes? You can probably think of some other movies where this has been the way). The battle scenes were enjoyable. The Baroness/Rex/Duke triangle, love spat, brother betrayer, runaway groom thing was a little much. I liked seeing the USS Flagg at the end. Some decent homages to the cartoon. I was a tad pissed there was no PSA, but how do you work that in a live action movie? I would probably see it again just to try and pick up and out other GI Joe bits and pieces I missed the first time around, but maybe the second time I can get someone to pay for my ticket. I would give this film 4.5-5/10.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:41 a.m. CST

    sfgeek, you would see

    by MorganLeafy

    GI Joe again despite the fact that you didn't really like it? It's your time but I think there are better movies out there that you haven't seen yet.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Congrats on getting your name in the ads Harry

    by Glory_Fades_ImMaxFischer

    Notice you are the ONLY person they could find for that.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:03 a.m. CST

    its funny

    by TheManWhoCan

    Transformers 2 was so terrable that in comparison, GIjoe seems sort of good? Should i go see this?. i hated the mummy 2 and van-helsing, Christ! i forgot how crap Van-helsing was, and how cool the trailer was, even after id seen the movie i saw the full vanhelsing trailer before killbill p2 or something and thought 'wow''that looks cool, no wait, ive already seen it a couple of weeks ago and it was rubbish'! Stephen Sommers seems like a child on cocane in interviews. Ah well, ill probably check GIjoe out on some dodgy chinese online stream.Ill just make sure im not incredably hungover like when i streamed a copy of TF2 , damn, i still have a headache from that movie.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Went in expecting the worst...

    by kbass

    and came out pleasantly surprised. It's not a disaster by any means and I liked it better than TF2. Not saying it's better than TF2, just that I enjoyed it more.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:32 a.m. CST

    G.I. Joe: The Real NATO hero

    by TheDoctor73

    They went way out of their way to hide the American flag in this movie. Especially on the US soldiers in battle. The only soldiers wearing American flags were the two dudes that were blown up in the helicopter at the beginning. How many movies did this rip off? The opening was real close to the opening of Iron Man. They wore Iron Man suites that could do more than the Iron Man suites themsleves. Then the Iron Man suites gained Spider-man powers to climb walls. And then during battles they wore Batman's Dark Knight suite. My 80's childhood is crying today.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander wears a Scuba Mask

    by TheDoctor73

    Why? Why change such an iconic figure?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Big Dumb Fun is not an apology...

    by Shpadoinkle actually pretty closely describes the kind of moviemaking that came to fruition in the 80's. This appears to be such a throwback. I mean Tron was big dumb fun but most of you people love that like it was the second coming. Visuals for the sake of them, based on a cultural phenomenon. People can actually enjoy films on different levels for different reasons. People like Industrykiller can't fathom this because they saw a few profound films and suddenly think they know everything about films that don't reach that level. It's a shame that would have to sour you for life, as there's still plenty of joy to be found in modern cinema. I haven't seen this though, could be awful. Just seems that anyone who thinks they can judge a film without having seen it hasn't got a pot to shit in.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    If any actually reads this far down...

    by Mr.FTW

    Rise of Cobra is a sad state of affairs if you're a fan of the G.I.JOE: Real American Hero era. There are fundamental character changes across the board that if you are a kid from the 80 with any kind of attachment to thr toy line, Larry Hama Comic or afternoon cartoon that is mind boggling. If you are a fan of that era and the countless comics that have been based on either the LArry Hama comics or 80s cartoon this movie is not for you in way shape or form. This movie is for those who have no familiarity with the property and that guy who says "oh yeah, I had some of those toys when I was a kid".<p> As a movie it is terrible paced and horribly acted. The only actor who does a decent job is Marlon Wayans who I'm not sure was actually acting vs. just being Marlon Wayans. While the CG isn't as laugh out loud terrible like in X-Men Origins: Wolverine it is very sub standard especially considering the budget for this movie. It ranges from cartoonish to down right bad at times. The plot is contrived and there are glaring audio over dubbing instances.<p> There is an action sequence in Paris where it looks like Sommers is trying to out Michael Bay, Michael Bay. Love him or hate him there is only one man who can pull off "Bayhem". Even though the movie is PG-13 it has a very PG feel to it, so much so that the elemnt that make it PG-13 such as the on screen deaths and language feel extremely out of place in this movie.<p> After movies like Batman Begins, Iron Man and especially the Dark Knight there is no longer an excuse for summer blockbusters to be like this. It has been cemented now that these kind of genre movies can contain well written,well acted stories that not only have heart and depth but can be respectful to the source material and the fan base that has kept it alive while simitaneously entertaining the masses and critics a like.<p> Rise of Cobra is an empty shell in every aspect. If you are a fan of the G.I.JOE franchise you are better served hunting down the Warren Ellis scripted G.I.JOE: Resolute animated feature. If you're looking for summer time popcorn fair there has definitly been worse but to get the most value for your dollar go to a matinee.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    zer05um was expecting a deep emotional movie based on fucking to

    by ironic_name

    I'm glad I'm not you.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:02 a.m. CST

    The only soldiers wearing American flags were the two dudes that

    by ironic_name


  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:03 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

    zartan aka the mummy or habib marwan.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:04 a.m. CST

    so, lockes and others aren't into fun.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:13 a.m. CST

    The mainstream reviews of this are hilarious

    by skimn

    "Watching “G.I. Joe” is like being slapped across the face with utility-grade meat for two hours and for all I know, that is exactly what screenwriters Stuart Beattie and David Elliot & Paul Lovett did to get themselves in the proper frame of mind during the writing process.""GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra plays out like someone bought the remake rights to Team America: World Police without realising it was a joke." " I was more excited by last week’s G-Force 3-D, if only because the guinea pigs give the better performances."<p>The only problem is that these reviews make me want to see this even more now.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST

    So this is kind of like a cinematic flushing of the bowels

    by skimn

    before next weeks District 9?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    I didn't hate this movie

    by yeah i'm a jerk!

    But Channing Tatum is the worst actor ever. This could have been better, but it could have been way worse.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Silly as fuck

    by Floyd_the_Barbarian

    but no sillier then the shit i used to do with my g.i. joes, except i didn't use 175 million to do it. actually strike that, my adventures with my toys made much more sense.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:19 a.m. CST


    by zacdilone

    Hey robertplant, take your homophobic rants somewhere else. Silly is a good word, even if your prepubescent mind can't bring yourself to use it. Silly is fun, which is something you obviously don't know how to have.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:37 a.m. CST


    by MichelleRodrijizz

    Fuck this shit. Anyone who pays money to see this movie needs their fuckin head seeing to.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Morgan Leafy, it's not that I wouldn't see other films, but

    by sfgeek

    I believe there are things to glean from GI Joe that I hadn't gleaned last night. I agree with you, there are much better pictures to see that I haven't seen yet, District 9 is top of my list right now, but I have to wait a week. The Hurt Locker and Moon are two others I desperately want to see. I even think Julie V. Julia looks pretty appetizing (pun intended). I just like to see things that I think are there again. I loved GI Joe from my childhood, and even though there were many flaws with this movie... a hell, you're right. Why the fuck would I see a movie again that I rated a 4.5-5? I'm going to something else. Thanks for setting me right buddy. Everyone else, spend your money elsewhere.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:57 a.m. CST

    SPURT LOCKER is good

    by MichelleRodrijizz

    I'd buy that for a dorrar

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Paramount apparently bought off the nerd journalists...

    by SeXX ED

    ... this was seriously one of the worst movies I've ever seen theatrically. "Not screened for critics, you say?" hmm. "Screened for a handful of geek-website mongers to unanimous praise, you say?" ... yeeeeah. I saw this based on your word, guys. Never again, I assure you. Oh BTW, Devin Faraci's politically motivated Jihad against AVATAR, set against his glowing review of this "REALLY FUN" masterpiece speaks volumes about his integrity.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:07 p.m. CST

    is Faraci Jewish?

    by MichelleRodrijizz

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Rotten tomatoes gives it 41%

    by Continentalop

    And I wonder how many of them are "critics" like Harry, i.e. quote whores and rubber stamps for the studios. <p> Top Critics give it only 20%. <p> So if you are thinking about seeing this, maybe you should reconsider.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:19 p.m. CST

    From Richard Corliss, TIME Magazine

    by Continentalop

    "The only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute."

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 12:20 p.m. CST

    WTF!? Bill Clinton Inspired by Snake Eyes!?

    by stlfilmwire

    Yo, Harry... check it out... Bill Clinton's hostage negotiations were actually inspired by the Gi Joe trailer:

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:03 p.m. CST


    by Stalkeye

    The producers/and or SS decided not to go with Cobra Commander's Iconic hood as it seem reminicent to the Klu Klux Klan.<p> Now you know, and knowing is avoiding this trainwreck.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:17 p.m. CST

    I don't give a rats....

    by simongarth2001

    ...Pink puckered ass if anybody thinks this is good. As long as stuff blows up real good, and there's a redhead in skin tight leather, It's a good time just awaitin'! nothing can be worse than forgetting what my ass felt like, after sitting for 3 hours, watching Bayformers 2. Yeah, it had stuff blowing up real good.....but no redhead.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Don't care about critics

    by Arashikage

    I was a huge G.I. Joe fan as a kid, I have 7 and 8 year old sons who want to see it. I love sharing shit like this with them. You could not keep me away from a G.I. Joe movie.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:23 p.m. CST


    by Arashikage

    "and there's a redhead in skin tight leather, It's a good time just awaitin'" -- Amen

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Roger Ebert on Harry's Transformer Review - kind of calling him

    by Dapper Swindler <p> "That hasn't meant no advance screenings. Indeed, the movie was recently scoring 85% on the Tomatometer, although today (August 6) it is down to 65% and dropping. Why so strong at the beginning? The studio screened it (in the words of the invaluable Goldstein, for "certified fan-boy zealots"). While some of them do articulate their reasons (I'm convinced Harry Knowles, bless his heart, really believes what he says), many are simply delighted to deliver an "exclusive early look" to their websites, making good on their half of an implied deal."

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Anyone mind

    by BillyLo

    who saw the movie telling me what Cobra Commander and Destro looked like? I know they didn't use the hood. Don't need a long explanation, just whether it worked or not and if it looked cool. Thanks

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Wait I meant to say "Harry's GI Joe Review"

    by Dapper Swindler

    must be getting awful movies confused

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST


    by dixieflyer

    They did for Transformers 2.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST


    by MichelleRodrijizz

    AICN's personal attention to this film speaks a thousand words; and every single one of them is "Asscheeks"

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Pure rediculous fun

    by ninerfan49

    I know this movie will get tons of hate... but it took me back to when I was a kid, playing with the toys. Things were so simple then: you had good guys, and you had bad guys. You made up stupid plots in order to play with all your tanks and crazy figures. And then you just had fun... just like this movie. Could it have been better? I don't know... yeah - but I'll take what I got. How much art can you put into a movie with characters like Destro, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the Baroness? I don't want every comic(toy) movie to have the depth of Batman. Sometimes, a movie that tugs at my childhood like Joe is enough... and I know it succeeds when it makes me nostalgic for being a kid again...

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:36 p.m. CST


    by Anthrax

    The most entertaining thing about all of the mostly dull Joe related talkbacks has been lockesbrokenleg's steady intellectual decline, much like the scene in 2001 when Dr. Dave is pulling out HAL's logic and memory center. He started out making some relatively coherent arguments, and has since degenerated into such inspired prose as, "Fuck. At least the robots in Transformers look similar to the cartoon ones. Fuck you asshole." And do you know what the funniest part of it all is? After all the shit he talked, all his posturing, you know he went, paid his money, and sat through the movie. Classic. <P> On an unrelated note, I also found the statement that, "I was already pissed that I saw this movie, and would have been more pissed had I paid for it." is also really, really funny for a multitude of reasons.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST

    IF $170 MILLION has to be spent making a movie...

    by halsolo

    ... for no other reason than to make people nostalgic for being a kid playing with toys, we are all in a LOT of trouble. I love how apologetic all the positive feedback on this has been - almost nobody actually has defended this movie without some justification.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Hey GI Joe haters

    by IndyCollector

    This movie is awesome. It's well paced and has great action sequences, especially the Paris sequence. The story fits with GI Joe. Anyone who can't just sit back and enjoy the roller coaster ride is a fucking faggot. May I suggest Brokeback Mountain for your view pleasure this weekend instead. Homos.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:53 p.m. CST


    by halsolo

    May I suggest an "!" after "awesome" and a "?" afer "instead" ? Repost with the changes or I'm pretty sure nobody's going to take you seriously.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:57 p.m. CST

    IndyCollector part 2

    by halsolo

    Harry Knowles loved GI JOE. Harry Knowles loved BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Since he's one of the few reviewers of the movie and seems to be in line with your thougts, maybe you should take your own advice and watch BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Just so I'm taken seriously...

    by halsolo

    Reposting my last sentence per my own asshole comments to IndyCollector: "Since he's one of the few reviewers of (G.I. JOE) and seems to be in line with your thoughts, maybe you should take your own advice and watch BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN?"

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    GI FUN!!!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    A real fun American hero, that's internatinal!!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Christ, that was awful

    by Laserhead

    It wasn't 'fun.' It was the opposite of fun. Boring, bad-fx, ridiculously bad acting... just DULL. Nothing exciting about it. Chocked full of retarded, interminable flashbacks, and Dennis Quaid says every line like he's stone drunk. The 'Joes' are about the most incompetent fucking outfit you could imagine. Jesus... this isn't 'stupid fun', and it's not a 'cartoon come to life.' It belongs side-by-side with the 80s version of 'Masters of the Universe.' Truly, horribly awful.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:35 p.m. CST

    See, THAT'S how to make a summer action movie

    by StarWarsRedux

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Brokeback Mountain

    by Anthrax

    Is a good movie. Plain and simple. Only those with a child like fear of a penis that isn't theirs say otherwise. <P> And Masters of the Universe? Wonderful. A perfect example of a B movie that's so bad, it's enjoyable to watch.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:53 p.m. CST


    by Darth Philbin

    "GI Joe" was good, nostalgic fun. If every war movie I saw was "Full Metal Jacket", I'd get sick of seeing war movies. If every mob movie I saw was "Goodfellas", I'd get sick of seeing mob movies. If every meal I ate was lobster, I'd get sick of eating lobster. Sometimes I want a bad movie or a bag of pork rinds. Sometimes I get tired of banging hot supermodels and just have to bang your Mom.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Fucking awful

    by Kief_Ledger

    AICN had to have been bought off. No one in their right mind could think this was a good, or dare I say, fun action movie. It was just dull and boring. Nothing exciting ever happened. For $170 million, you think there wouldn't be such god awful cgi. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Street Fighter is still the best Live action Joe flick.

    by Shermdawg

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Would BIG LOB have made this movie better?

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    For example, if instead of Duke and Ripcord in accelerator shuits chasing the Hummer, it was BIG LOB chasing the Hummer (announcing all his moves) would have been better right?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Big Lob wouldn't need an accelerator suit.

    by Shermdawg

    Just some accelerator shoes.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Harry trashed the producer of this movie

    by Bladerunner751

    in his review of Transformers 2 he called Lorenzo DiBonaventura an incompetent and compared him to a janitor so i highly doubt he bought off.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:59 p.m. CST

    *was bought off

    by Bladerunner751

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:04 p.m. CST

    I plan to watch this movie tonight.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    The negatives going for it (for me) going in are: <BR><BR> -NO BIG LOB. <BR> -Not real AMERICAN hero anymore. (wtf) <BR> - Baronness has no accent and actually poses cutely in the trailer. (wtf) <BR> - Accelerator suits. <BR><BR> That said, I'm hoping it to be a FUN movie, and keep faith that BIG LOB will make the save in part 2.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:24 p.m. CST

    I'm confused. What's with the two Cobra Commanders?

    by Royston Lodge

    I'm gonna have to create a large blog devoted to how much of a continuity nightmare this little film is. INTERNET VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Not based on the comics, not based on the cartoons...

    by God's Brother

    But rather based on the actual experience of being 8 yrs old and playing with the toys in your backyard. This movies was hilariously fast-paced. The guys at nailed it...

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Piece of shit

    by sith_rising

    No Firefly, no Scrap-Iron, no twins, no Major Bludd, Snake Eyes looked like shit (even the legendary Darth Maul couldn't save it), Storm Shadow looked shittier, the "vow of silence" was stupid, the Hard Master got killed by a little fucking kid, Ripcord was a walking stereotype ("bust a cap!") and was a fixed-wing pilot, Breaker was a fucking Arab, Roadblock wasn't Roadblock and was suddenly a pilot, Quaid's acting was atrocious, Scarlett's weapon was stupid, nano-weapons are stupid, Baroness was "redeemed" Vader-style, Cobra Commander and Destro AREN'T disfigured (and Snake Eyes WAS), the water battle was a Star Wars ripoff, Zartan was a complete waste (even Pick couldn't save that role) who had nothing to do with the Hard Master's death, Dr. Mindbender was Bennie from the Mummy (and Cobra Commander looked more like Mindbender in his evil doctor attire), no Dreadnoks, Baroness was related to Cobra Commander, Cobra troops were brainwashed rather than either well-paid by Destro as Iron Grenadiers or brainwashed by Cobra Commander, oh my God I could go on and on. Fuck I'm glad I gave up GI Joe in 1986 or I'd REALLY be pissed. If you're one of those guys with a Joe collection worth 50k, I'm sorry. Yes, I know many of you hated the Star Wars Prequels, but I loved them and never felt my childhood's asshole being abused until today. That is all.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Big Lob is an accelerator suit.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Official line of the talkback

    by Anthrax

    Goes to sith_rising, for this gem: "Cobra troops were brainwashed rather than either well-paid by Destro as Iron Grenadiers or brainwashed by Cobra Commander" His childhood was raped because nameless, lineless storm troopers were brainwashed by the wrong person... God, I love this place.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 5:20 p.m. CST

    No way I'm seeing it

    by SlickRick

    I'm from Venezuela. Besides "G.I. Joe", this weekend a 2008 movie arrives at midnight showings. It's called "The Bank Job". I'm pretty sure watching this old heist flick will be 200 times better than the Hasbro publicity movie.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 5:54 p.m. CST

    Best thing about the movie were the accl. suits and Gordon-Levit

    by Tall_Boy66

    Odd those are the things the fanboys were most up in arms about but those were the few redeeming moments about the film. Otherwise: lame. How did this get good advance reviews?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Levitt was pretty awesome, though

    by Tall_Boy66

    Yes, he did not do "the voice" but the voice he picked was sweet. And yes, Cobra Commander wasn't doing much Cobra Commanding, and the final reveal of his mask was a little wonky, BUT that aside, Levitt managed to do so much pure evil by just, basically, using is freaking eyebrow and that crazy menacing funny-evil voice. That was entertaining villiany. He should have been the A #1 bad guy the entire flick, cause when he was on screen, it was gold. It's not close to the comics, but who cares, it was entertaining. Rest of the movie, not so much at all.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:05 p.m. CST

    JJ Abrams

    by kwisatzhaderach

    The man hailed as the new Spielberg. His filmography so far: <p> MI:3 Crap. <p> Star Trek: Crap. <p> And coming soon from this visionary cinematic magician: <p> MI:4 <p> and <p> Star Trek 2 <p> Yes, clearly on the same level as Spielberg. Carry on with the toy thread, just had to get that out of my system.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Was that Brendan Fraser?

    by Heckles

    What character was he?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Yeah I didn't get what character Fraser was either

    by IndyCollector

    Someone, Quaid I think, called him Sgt. though. No way he was Sgt. Slaughter.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:52 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:54 p.m. CST

    I like it!

    by j-bot

    so fuck you:)

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:56 p.m. CST

    I enjoyed every retarded moment

    by disfigurehead

    Loved it. Don't take it seriously and you will be ok.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Brendan Fraser as....STALKER

    by Wrath

    Why the hell did Snake Eyes have a mouth? AND he doesn't even talk. Makes no sense. Movie was a good time. Zartan storyline was cool. Miss the black metal make up though. I think the new cobra commander mask is dumb. To me, changing the original cobra commander look (either the mirrored helmet or hood would do) is like changing Darth Vader's helmet or something. Major screw up. I hope they change it for the many sequels.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Brendan Fraser was...

    by davywankenobi

    listed in IMDB for a long time as "Gung Ho." :/ So, like everybody else, Gung Ho had very little to do with the original character. Still not the worst movie I've ever seen. But not "Great Fun" either. Just ok. Good cliffhanger though.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:24 p.m. CST

    Ebert with the beatdown

    by IAmLegolas

    god bless that man:

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Ir'a sad the toys and cartoon have better stories

    by lockesbrokenleg

    than this movie disaster.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:42 p.m. CST

    I counterprogrammed a screening of Hurt Locker

    by Mr.LordBronco

    And-that movie lived up to the hype... let's try an experiment: <p> gonna switch some words around: <p> (The Hurt locker)is as polished and entertaining as war-mongering toy commercials get. <p> Just put yourself in the mind-set of a ten-year-old boy watching (The hurt Locker) on a Saturday morning with a big bowl of frosted flakes in front of you. But don't expect anything more. <p> (The hurt locker) is big, dumb, loud and utterly relentless: basically, everything you could ever want from a summer blockbuster. <p> But ya know what? It IS a (Hurt Locker) movie and it was pretty damn cool! What makes it cool is that these are still men and women operating amazing technology that WE created ( moderately fictitiously) and that isn’t GIVEN by Aliens, Future Beings, etc. That’s what makes it cool, that and the notion that we work with a Global coalition of cool folks that are capable of crazy awesome with this stuff. <p> -signed Harry Knowles

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:48 p.m. CST

    I have seen GI JOE

    by dmaynor

    I liked it. It was diffrent that the cartoon for the 80's I love buth who cares, it was still a fun movie. I sure hope they have Cobra island and the terrordome in the sequel.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Don't know if I'd call that an Ebert beatdown.

    by Shermdawg

    I can see his side of things, might even agree with some of it, but man is he losing it. McCullen was not "the disfigured scientist that created the green liquid that eats people, and buildings, and stuff." Cobra doesn't exist in this film, it's MARS. And How in the hell could he mix up Channing Tatum with Marlon Wayons?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:24 p.m. CST

    I am waiting for the truth

    by Powerring

    I want several people to see this flick and tell me how it REALLY is, as opposed to "Wicked awesome, especially if you jizzed over speed racer!"

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:33 p.m. CST

    A reverse critical insertion

    by Mr.LordBronco

    (G.I. Joe) is episodic and, at times, overwrought. And occasionally its deliberate opacity becomes too cloudy. But the things that shine through are remarkable. <p> This from the oregonian's Shawn levy-who is arguably the most retarded, pretentious piece of crap film critic known to man (The review was of Hurt locker-but hey probably works for Gi.i. joe) <p> Fucking idiot...

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:38 p.m. CST

    If you're waiting around here for the "truth"...

    by Shermdawg're gonna be here for a longass time. There never is "truth" here. It's always opinions and massive amounts of hyperbole. Just go check out the wiki if you're that worried about wasting your cash.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Chanum/Dook is a fucking idiot wigger

    by raystevensonwarzone

    Sommers can go straight to hell for molesting my childhood show with black wannabe Duke

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:28 p.m. CST

    GI Joe BANNER - AICN: So Much Fun...!?!

    by TheBLIGHT


  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:29 p.m. CST

    Just back from seeing it

    by toadkillerdog

    Ok. It was not horrible. In fact it was entertaining. Yes, make sure you leave brain at home. It does not even pretend to exist in the 'real' world. It is a boys back yard war game come to the big screen. Lots of big and very brutal fights and explosions. Lots of implausible circumstances, but it was very entertaining. I never followed the comic, so I had zero invested in the characters.<p> Kids will eat it up. Adult males will like it, I doubt it will be the crossover hit with women that Transformers is though because it lacks a certain charm that women would fine appealing.<p> I recommend seeing it. It is *gasp* fun albeit forgettable. A good way to enjoy a few entertaining hours at the cinema, and who asks for more than that?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST

    GI Joe BANNER - AICN: So Much Fun...!?! (2)

    by TheBLIGHT

    loserguy3000... well said! And, Harry probably did not get any green... Which makes it even more sad.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Watching "G.I. Gotta Go" Was Like...

    by CellarDweller

    Being offered used toilet paper when you have an entire warehouse of the best t.p. money can buy. I saw this piece of crap on Harry's rectumendation. Never again! I would have been better off seeing G-Force!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 9:59 p.m. CST

    I'm surpsised Levitt....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    was even in this fluff to begin with.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10 p.m. CST

    I think Harry once used this phrase....

    by bigbadbua

    possibly in his review of Van Helsing, another Summers film. GI JOE was retarded fun. It was cool to watch the battle sequences as they unfolded, but I swear I could write a better screenplay in 5 minutes. The plot and dialogue were trash, but it was fun to watch. It was like the popcorn I ate.... fun at the time, but right after the movie I went to get something real to eat. Might have thought a little higher of the film if I hadn't seen The Hurt Locker last night.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:02 p.m. CST

    But it's good that Levitt is in this fluff anyway

    by Tall_Boy66

    Considering he's one of the few redeeming qualities of it. Yes, it's not exactly like the show/comic, yes the voice is different, but he's the only one who's entertaining really. I just loved that bit when he's like "DETONATE THE ICE CAPS!!!" near the end. And he does it all with only one eyeball visible.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:08 p.m. CST

    RayStevenson, Just because you're White and corny.

    by ganymede3010

    Doesn't mean that every other White guy is. Tatum is a sick dancer, what would you prefer him to do a country line dance with the Oakridge Boys glaring in the background?

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:12 p.m. CST

    "Tatum is a sick dancer"

    by Shermdawg

    Yeah, apparently of the "exotic" variety.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:13 p.m. CST

    GI NO!!!

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:26 p.m. CST

    has "sick dancer" ever been used in a postive light on AICN?

    by Tall_Boy66

    If so, I think we have a first time EVER on AICN. Someone being a "sick dancer" is meant to be a compliment. Wow. That is pretty neat.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:46 p.m. CST

    by JediWuddayaknow

    Not as bad as I thought it would be. Mindless explosions, insane action, zippo plot.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:02 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    I got a free ticket to this piece of steaming fucking shit and if I had paid for it I would be on the first plane to Austin to kick the fucking shit out of you for recommending this unmitigated disaster you disgusting gluttonous tub of fucking lard. Gee, Harry Knowles get’s a free screening two weeks before the movie comes out and he slobbers over it, what a fucking surprise. <br> <br>Paramount was smart not to let REAL critics see this pathetic waste of money and instead sucker the lowest internet trash they could to a sneak preview in order to bribe said cocksuckers into posting bullshit fluff reviews to spread word of mouth amongst geeks that this movie was anything but fucking terrible.<br> <br>90 minutes long and I was STILL fucking bored out of my fucking skull. Why? Let’s see. The piss poor script, the uninspired direction, actors cashing their fucking paychecks which explains the absolute lack of chemistry between anyone, CGI that looked like it was from ten years ago, lazy screenwriting where the characters all knew each other to give this fucking garbage some sort of resemblance of drama, Channing Tatum being a worthless slab of fucking meat who has no range and only one expression, Marlon Wayans justifying his eventual real life murder by playing every fucking scene and line as a clown, BLAH BLHA BLAH.<br> <br>GOD FUCKING DAMN this has been a terrible fucking year for movies and I’m soo pissed over wasting my time, luckily not my money, on this fucking awful movie that I am now going to download District 9 because it’s now obvious that we can’t even trust anyone on movie related websites anymore to give an honest review of anything because they are more then likely being paid off in one way or the other.<br> <br>Internet movie websites are now officially dead to me as G.I. Joe has now proven that the studio’s now know exactly how to run circles around these morbidly obese, smelly, hairy degenerate fucking scumbags who will sell their souls for scraps from the table like the fucking lapdogs that they are. FUCK YOU, EAT SHIT, DIE AND ROT IN FUCKING HELL YOU CUNTS!!!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Saw it hours ago

    by _Lizarkeo

    It was ok with me. Another kid´s movie made by fraking professionals, heh. A lil´ digression here: I know Larry Hama from the great TEX´s Wolverine issues. But never saw anything related to GI Joe before. But this movie was great fun for sci-fi action military ninjas hot chicks lovers. Gosh, not-blonde-Sienna was hot and so cool to watch. Megan was foxier, but the Baroness was all about BEING BAD GAL (the best kind). Good to see Mr. Eko kicking major ass again. Marlon was funny and heroic, as told. Again, a kid´s movie. The heroes wins, the bad guys falls. But in the last scene...Ooooowww nooo, not HIM...Hehehe. Basic, but great set-up for a sequel: "My Cobra Strikes Back, Baby!!" <p> Cheers.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:48 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    I've been here awhile now, and have seen very few talkbacks, which are usually reserved for films of merit or controversy. GI JOE? A Steven Sommers Film? Are you kidding me? Excuse me while I go take a dump.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:48 p.m. CST

    G.I. Niggers

    by raystevensonwarzone

    Fuck Ripcord and Duke

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:49 p.m. CST

    saw it

    by bourne7855


  • Aug. 7, 2009, 11:58 p.m. CST

    Roger Ebert's mental health is declining

    by Bladerunner751

    the guy confused everything in his review. I agree with the poster above who thinks that he might be losing it.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Saw it, liked it.

    by Playkins

    There were a few parts that were silly, but honestly, I felt like I was watching G.I.Joe up on the screen. They had quite a few nods to the original toy/cartoon/comic, and were reasonably faithful within a 2 hour story.<P> There were some great action scenes and lots of cool hardware. All in all, a C+/B- grade. Frankly better than I expected.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:16 a.m. CST

    There's two types of retarded people..

    by torpor_haze

    in this talkback. The ones that thought that this movie needs a review and the ones who expected to get 'Dirty Dozen' from.... A FUCKIN' GI JOE MOVIE!!!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:17 a.m. CST

    tailhook: actually....

    by Playkins

    ...props. That would have been a cool ending. I was expecting something similar, but technically part of what you wrote happened. Still, they left plenty open for a sequel. I'll be there.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:20 a.m. CST

    CarlThorMark1978: Dude, WAAAAYYY to serious there.

    by Playkins

    Come on, man. Don't you think you're taking it just a *tad* too seriously? I hate to say this, and I know I'm going to be flamed, but in the end, it IS just a movie.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:23 a.m. CST

    torpor_haze: Talkback-

    by Playkins

    Seriously, take away the griping and the reviews, and what's the point of a talkback, then? Discussion about existentialism?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:33 a.m. CST

    WHAT IN THE NAME OF BIG LOB WAS THIS??????????? ????????????????

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    My friend's reaction walking out: <BR><BR> "I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY do they RUIN movies like this?? Wouldn't it make more sense for them to make a good movie?? WHY MAKE A BAD MOVIE?? Did they even watch this before releasing it?? Are they seriously sitting at home thinking they made a good movie?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" <BR><BR><BR><BR> I'm going to be nicer. I supported this movie. I like the Mummy and the director. But there are honestly some things that need to be fixed if they want to sustainably continue this franchise. I am a list person, so let me start with a list. <BR><BR> THE GOOD:<BR> 1. The initial attack on Duke and Ripcord's convoy. Nicely done.<BR> 2. The attack on Joe's base. By the time the Baronness was jetpacking away with Storm Shadow, everything looked like wild fun. <BR><BR> THE BAD: <BR> 1. THE RIPCORD/SCARLET RELATIONSHIP. It was so STUPID and CHEESY. Ripcord catching her in Paris..."I don't want you to see me like this".....her kissing him before was just so STUPID!!<BR><BR> 2. THE PARIS CHASE. I don't know why people are complimenting this one. Ripcord catching Scarlet....the accelerator suits...."There's an instruction manual??"....Baronness cutely waving at Duke. It was just dumb!!<BR><BR> 3. THE FLASHBACKS. They were so stupid both by being there and how they were done! The camera would slowly zoom in on a character's serious face right before the flashback...the audience was laughing at that! It was so cheesy!<BR><BR> 4. THE UNDERWATER BATTLE. It looked like an X-Box cutscene. I imagine a Joe movie finale to include tanks and F-15 jets, not a bunch of little CG subs shooting at each other...WTF????<BR><BR> 5. COBRA COMMANDER AND DESTRO. What the....?? Destro has always been portrayed as this huge guy. They should have gotten a UFC fighter to be Destro....not that skinny old guy! And what was up with Cobra Commander's mask and voice?? Are these guys supposed to be intimidating, and the main baddies for the sequel??<BR><BR> 6. THE COSTUMES. People actually bash the cartoon's costumes and yet would defend all the ones in this movie? The accelerator suits? Lips on Snake Eyes? Everyone else wearing X-Men gear? Is that better than the cartoon? FOR REAL????<BR><BR> 7. INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATION. G.I. Joe is a Real American Hero!! Taking out the patriotic thing is taking out one of the reasons G.I. Joe got popular in the first place. From what I remember, the only international heroes were Breaker and Heavy Duty, who were pretty much side characters. Duke, Ripcord, Scarlet, Hawk, and Snake Eyes are all American right? So just keep it patriotic and REAL AMERICAN HERO! Why is HQ in Egypt? Why not in the U.S.A?? At least Alaska or something.<BR><BR> 8. BARONNESS. Why is she Duke's main squeeze? Why is she actually blond?? Where's her accent? Why is she actually a good guy? WTF????<BR><BR> 9. THE INTRO. You start a G.I. Joe movie with some flashback to ancient...what was it, Scotland?? WTF?? This is G.I. Joe!! Shouldn't you start with WWII or something? When it started like that one of my friends whispered "Uh oh...this looks like its gonna suck."<BR><BR> 10. THE CG. Was the fakeness look of it all intentional? I can't tell! At the beginning during Duke and Ripcord's convey, the helicopters looks so fake!! As if they were pasted onto the scene!<BR><BR> 11. THE TRAINING MONTAGE. It was so stupid! Especially when they were showing people training underwater, and the whole videogame shootout thing. So DUMB!! Why did they do that?? Why couldn't they have a more realistic military training....the training of Falcon in the 1987 movie was more realistic and cool! <BR><BR><BR><BR> Even without BIG LOB, I was hoping this flick would be a good set-up movie. There is still hope. The early attack on Ripcord and Duke's convoy was well done and had nice action....basically fighting WITHOUT the accelerator suits was SUPERIOR. It had more of a military feel, which is what G.I. Joe is all about, right? I was expecting to see tanks, F-15s, army bases, new cadets....a vaguely American military look, you know? Instead I got X-Box looking cutscenes and some underground HQ that looked like it was from MONSTERS VS. ALIENS.<BR><BR> I really hope they fix some of this stuff. Lips on Snake Eyes is like the nipples on the Batsuit. Its dumb. I hope the REAL Baronness shows up the next movie. Have her be a completely separate character from Anna....the new Baronness with Russian accent and all, the real one. Get rid of the accelerator suits and focus on badass military battles with jets and tanks. And bring in BIG LOB for the score.<BR><BR> I don't know what to think dude. I am a G.I. Joe fan and a Sommers fan. I have been rallying in favor of this movie, giving it support. I just dont know what to think anymore....

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:37 a.m. CST

    The worst part about it...

    by OrsonSwells

    was Channing Tatum, Snake Eye's mouth and the underwater battle. These were all dumb.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:39 a.m. CST

    ***FLAME ME BITCHES, FOR I HAD FUN!!! (bring it CarlThorMark1978

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    OK, first off... CarlThorMark1978, grow a pair. as much as everyone is entitled to an opinion, your nasty (albeit somewhat amusing) rant nearly amounts to hate speech. chill out. it's just a movie. that said. yes, "GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA" was a dumb movie. but it was a fun movie. and I had fun. it was actually a very faithful adaptation of the cartoon I grew up with. and that too was dumb, but fun (gasp! have I just insulted all the fanfic writing-30 year old virgins at the GI JOE conventions?). so as you can see, very little has changed in twenty-five years. we get: intrigue and espionage; awesome vehicles and action set pieces; tough cornball military dialogue (plus the usual good vs. evil crap); exotic locations (The Pit rules!); cheesy fights; etc. etc. I don't remember the cartoon having any "deep" meaning, not like a Hemingway novel. The comics had substance, something the TV show and film lack. but again, the movie doesn't suck like "TRANSFORMERS 2". it IS indeed WAAAY better than any Michale Bay movie ever made. 1984 dumb fun. 2009 dumb fun. but it's all good. we spread the love, man. and yes, all bets on Brendan Frasier, yes, he plays Flint, dammit, FLINT in the new movie. would we then expect Rachel Weisz to play a cameo as Lady Jaye? now THAT would be... DUMB FUN!!! GI JOE 2 HERE WE COME!!! WAHOO!!! =0)

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:51 a.m. CST

    GI Joe should have been more Empire!

    by reTARDIS

    Take it down for the sequel. - Lasers! that's right red laser=bad guy. Blue laser=good guy. The whole Duke/Commander thing could have worked out so much better as a Han/Lando relationship. Except Lando is a dick and that skinny white kid from third rock. And he doesn't help out after the back stabbing! Then dig this! instead of universal domination it went for Earth! ok we have the arctic, the sea and France..and the mid east...but fuck it go for the WORLD Cobra Commander! just fucking go all out French foreign legion during WW3! Cobra strikes everywhere..we get a few new characters good and bad..fighting with lasers! around the world! it's still PG... relates to the comics/toyline. AND MAKES A SHIT TON OF MONEY BECAUSE IT'S FAITHFUL!!! And that should have been the first movie. But there is a market to play with. So go Sommers and do right the second time. I've faith you could have a pretty damn fun movie. And that's all I've to say. And give Commander a reflective helmet and SS uniform. That's all I've to say.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:03 a.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns: I'm bored, I'll play that game!

    by Playkins

    I agree with some of that and you make some good points. Here's what I thought (line by line):<P> THE GOOD:<P> 1. Agree.<P> 2. Agree.<P> THE BAD:<P> 1. RIPCORD/SCARLETT THING: Hate to go here, but it isn't just a problem with black male/white female relationships, is it? It was forced, but kind of cute too. The main problem I thought was that Scarlett seemed too weak in general. She's supposed to be tough.<P> 2. PARIS CHASE: MMmmm... I didn't find it as cheesy as you did, but I thought it was weak in some spots. If it was my movie, it would have been JOES in helicopters going after the car. Why foot chase?<P> 3. FLASHBACKS: Disagree there. I thought they were well done, but I would've liked a little more about Snake Eyes that touched on his disfigurement.<P> 4. UNDERWATER SCENE: I agree effects-wise, but it has the merit of not being done before in a live action movie.<P> 5. COBRA COMMANDER AND DESTRO: Yeaaahhhh.... I'll grudgingly agree there. Why did his voice change so much? Costume didn't really bug me, would have been better if you couldn't see his eyes. 6. COSTUMES: I liked them. Honestly, one of the things that always bugged me about G.I. Joe when I was a kid were the village-people costumes in the later toys. I always liked it more when they actually looked cohesive.<P> 7. INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATION: I understand why they did this. G.I.Joe was (If I understand correctly) called "Action Man" abroad. I can understand getting away from the world police idea and making it a globally-backed organization.<P> 8. BARONESS: Yeah, I kinda agree. I didn't like the angle they took. Although, Hama's origin has her as a Patty Hearst-type Stockholm Syndrome case. The change kiiiinnnda works with her comic origin, but would have been better without the nanite thing.<P> 9. THE INTRO: Didn't bug me so much. They could have left it out, tho.<P> 10. THE CG: Never really pulled me out of the film. Looked a little cartoony, but I thought that might have been the point. 11. THE TRAINING MONTAGE: Didn't bug me, but they missed an opportunity to get the real Sgt. Slaughter in on the action (or R.Lee Ermy playing him). Brendan Frasier seemed like he wandered into the movie by accident.<P> Keep your Big Lob, lol.<P> I wholeheartedly agree about the accelerator suits. The movie would have been fine without them, and I thought the scenes in which they WEREN'T used were better than the ones which they were.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:06 a.m. CST

    Fun is a dirty word? lol

    by HardcoreRocker

    Figures, after I write my review of GI Joe, with "fun" write in the title:

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:06 a.m. CST


    by Anthrax

    Actually, there are three. The two you listed, and the people who come on here spewing nothing but vulgar, sophomoric insults because they didn't like a movie they got to see for free.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:23 a.m. CST

    Now we know!!

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    And knowing is half the...oh forget it. I saw it. Liked it. Not The Dark Knight but big dumb and fun!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:26 a.m. CST

    And Playkins i agree,,,

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    I think the only thing Gibson USA didn't like about the whole Scarlet/Ripcord relationship was the interracial aspect of it. I thought it was cute as well.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:31 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    1. Uh, was just stupid! It could have been two CG aliens...catching her in the street "are you okay??"....the kiss before takeoff that you can see coming a mile away but hope it doesnt happen because it would be just to cheesy, but then it happens...ugggh. I dont see how anyone can look at that and say "this is good." I dont see how the movie people could have watched it before release and be like "this is quality." <BR><BR> 2. You didn't find it as cheesy?....."Be careful this that suit is worth millions [trip!]".... Ripcord catching Scarlet...."there's an instruction manual?".....the accelerator suits flying through the, c'mon....the 1987 movie was better than this. <BR><BR> 3. Dude, before the flashback the camera would slowly pan to the character's serious face...C'mon! Thats what they do in TV sitcoms, sometimes sarcastically. My audience was laughing at at at around the 3rd time that happened. It's like they were trying to be pans from Baronness to StormShadow's serious face...all they were missing was the tv ripples. It was lame. <BR><BR> 4. So because it wasnt done before, it is appropriate for a G.I. Joe finale? <BR><BR> 5. When Cobra Commander turned around with the new mask, the audience laughed. <BR><BR> 6. Even you say, the later toys. But do cartoon Duke, Flint, Lady Jaye, Beachead, Hawk, Alpine, Footloose, etc look like the Village People to you? They are basically in military gear! With some slight modifications, they can pass for live action military. Whats more cheesy....cartoon Duke uniform or movie Duke accelerator suit? <B><BR> 7. Storyline-wise they could have limited the Cobra attack to domestic. Problem fixed. <BR><BR> 8. She wasnt even intimidating. <br><Br> 9. It would have been better if they cut right to the intro. The movie is about Duke/Baronness primarily...yet they start out with Destro's origins in some completely unfamiliar setting. It should have started something more like Saving Private Ryan. Ya know...military? <BR><BR> 10. What about the helicopters covering for the convoy at the beginning? How does that add to the movie, when it looks like XBox CG pasted onto a realistic military convoy? <BR><BR> 11. For me it was groan inducing....the underwater swimming and all...get that off the screen.<BR><BR> I'm a huge G.I. Joe and Mummy fan, but I'm not gonna make excuse. G.I. JOE COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A BADASS MOVIE. Even before this movie came out, I posted that the only trap it could fall into is the cheesiness trap. Its very easy for someone to take this property and go the uber-cheese route. I was so hoping that didnt happen.<BR> Wouldnt you rather have a really good GI Joe movie instead of this?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:35 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    What? Am I not allowed to find the Ripcord/Scarlet thing stupid without any racial component?<BR> There are interracial couples in my family/relatives. <BR> Just because a two characters in a movie are of different races I'm not allowed to think their relationship is stupid unless it was just because of race?? When Ripcord caught Scarlet "Are you okay" I groaned. The 1987 movie was more badass than this.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:39 a.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns

    by Anthrax

    We got it. The shitty 1987 movie was more badass than this. You don't have to keep saying it anymore.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Iron Man 2 Comic Con bootleg footage

    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    <P> <P> Spielberg to produce Halo movie

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:43 a.m. CST

    just got back

    by drave117

    My verdict? It's just like the cartoon. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up to you, I suppose, but it does make it a much greater success than Transformers 2. Me, I enjoyed it. It had everything I was expecting in a GI Joe story; ridiculous mad science and world domination, the Baroness being smoking hot, a bunch of one note characters playing their one note with all their might, and good guys and bad guys who all have technology that is a few decades ahead of the rest of the world. Sure, it aims lower than Transformers, but it actually hit the target dead on.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:45 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Huh? What do you mean I don't have to keep saying it. I've mentioned the 1987 movie like twice total as part of larger posts. Huh?? <BR><BR> "...the training of Falcon in the 1987 movie was more realistic and cool!"<BR><BR> "....the 1987 movie was better than this." <BR><BR>

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:45 a.m. CST

    No, the 1987 movie was not shitty.

    by Shermdawg

    And it was a hell of a lot better than that Rodimus bullshit Transformers flick.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:46 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Make that three times. <BR><BR> "The 1987 movie was more badass than this." <BR><BR> But who cares??

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:51 a.m. CST

    GibsonUSA my apologies...

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    It was the first thing that popped into my mind when i saw the scene cuz i know how fanboys get (check any Will Smith Captain America thread.)

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:14 a.m. CST

    "Snake Eyes' Fish Lips" is...

    by MediaGold

    the new "Flames on Optimus".

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah, I almost forgot......

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    12. HOW ALMOST NOBODY IS WILLING TO HURT BARONNESS. "Don't make me shoot a woman!"....Huh??? Then Duke has Baronness right there and refuses to fire because she's an old girlfriend. WTF?? You're a G.I. F'N JOE! That woman has an huge weapon that theatens the world...and she walks casually up to Duke, who says "I'll do it if I have to!"....OMFG!!!! Am I just being picky, or is this completely ridiculous? This woman just killed a bunch of other Joes and carries a weapon!! Don't make me shoot a woman?? <BR><BR> Maaaan....this movie is like Van Damme's Street Fighter, in that they took a property (toys and videogames, respectively) and went supercheese on it. Street Fighter is actually watchable, if you watch it for the cheese...Dhalsim/Blanka is kinda like Mindbender/Cobra Commander in this movie...with all the cheesy romances and stuff... <BR> I was CHEERING for this GI Joe movie. I wasnt a hater. I was practically dancing waiting for it to come out. I didnt expect an adult movie...I just hoped it would be something like Iron Man...just in that, its a solid, fun movie I walk out happy with that has some cheese, but never turned it up too much.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:22 a.m. CST

    The Chronicles of Riddick had a better plot than this

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:31 a.m. CST

    Even if this movie is a success, I really hope they improve stuf

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    IMO... <BR><BR> -Get rid of Snake Eyes lips. I havent met one person that likes them. At best I've heard people say they don't really mind them, but that's it.<BR><BR> -Get rid of Ripcord, or at least reduce role, a la Jar Jar. He can guard the base.<BR><BR> -I don't really even know how to fix Destro and Cobra Commander.<BR><BR> -Turn down the cheese PLEASE. Get rid of the accelerator suits. Give it a more military feel like the military parts of Transformers 2.<BR><BR> -A REAL final battle this time...with tanks and fighter jets and soldiers charging and parachuting into action. Something that looks like G.I. Joe.<BR><BR> -Bring back the patriotic flavor. <BR><BR> The series still has potential. I'm not a hater, I'm a fan, so dont jump on me...I want this to be good.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:54 a.m. CST

    Which Joes were in it?

    by Star Hump

    Was Asstight in it?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:57 a.m. CST

    Just a bunch of Joes who aren't BIG LOB.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Gibson, I'd shut up if I were you.

    by Shermdawg

    If this makes bank, and the writers frequent the talkbacks like Orci does, they might just run with your ideas and put BIG LOB in the next one. <br><br> But he'll probably be played Shawn Wayons. <br><br> YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU???

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:04 a.m. CST


    by Banzai Rootskibango

    ...the voice was fine. But the's what broke the movie for me. <P> WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST USE THE FUCKING HOOD? WHY NOT? GODDAMNIT!!! <P> Such an iconic villain...and they change the look. WHAT THE FUCK!?!? <P> USE THE FUCKING HOOD YOU GODDAMN RAPISTS!!!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:10 a.m. CST

    We don't know if they fucked up Cobra Commander.

    by Shermdawg

    The hood wasn't used because Sommers, and the producers said it resembled KKK garb. But I wouldn't rule out a new outfit or two, for the sequels, if they get greenlit. They gotta sell figures, y'know.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:12 a.m. CST

    lol Shermdawg

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    If BIG LOB is in the next GI Joe, AICN should give me article space because it would be the MOST COMPLIMENTARY REVIEW OF ALL TIME. lol. Never before would the world have seen such praise thrown upon a film.<BR><BR>

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:12 a.m. CST

    So what if it resembled KKK garb?

    by Banzai Rootskibango

    That's the fucking point? He's the fucking bad guy.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:15 a.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns: Im not rying to argue.

    by Playkins

    I'm getting a feeling you're taking it way too personally. I even agreed with a lot of your points. All fun, man. Don't start getting upset.<P> About the relationship, that's why I was making sure it wasn't a race issue. Just asking, I wouldn't care if it turned out your sister is dating a whole tribe of Masai. It's a legitimate question.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:23 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    I'm not upset. We're just talking about a movie right?...GI Joe noless. :) I'm just reviewing a movie, thats all. I know there will be people that liked parts of the movie that I didnt like.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:23 a.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns:

    by Playkins

    Just making sure. :-)

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:34 a.m. CST

    Still haven't seen it

    by D.Vader

    I think I'll wait a few weeks. I don't like rewarding fools who think only the opening weekend is important (and also- they make their movies ridiculously retarded). Its why I still haven't seen Harry Potter, though I'd like to now- its been long enough.

  • Why the Hell does COBRA burst into an office building to fire their missile, thus drawing the attention of the JOES, when they could have much easily I might add, have just fired their missile from the very helicopter vehicle they use to escape? <p> Is there ANY reason given for why they have to fire the weapon from the ground and also do it in such a manner that jeopardizes their mission? <p> Idiots.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:43 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    As I recall, the Joes caught Cobra leaving the building before they had a chance to fire the missile. Hence, the chase down the streets...with Storm Shadow rushing to find a spot to shoot the missile.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:57 a.m. CST

    GibonUSA- I could accept that

    by D.Vader

    The clip that was released on the net a few weeks ago of that particular scene didn't look too promising, but if there's some impetus, some reason for why Storm Shadow has to fight his way into an office with an Eiffel Tower view to fire his missile, then that's ok with me.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:01 a.m. CST

    I don't believe the MARS (Not Cobra) evac arrived...

    by Shermdawg

    ...until later on in the scene, D.Vader. <br><br> The Baroness and Storm Shadow were in Paris to weaponize the warheads that they stole from the Joe's "safe keepings", but little did they know, Duke & Co. were waiting on them, thus began the chase.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:09 a.m. CST

    GI Joe has always been idiotic

    by darthSaul666

    Saw the film... Had some stuff I liked but was idiotic like a typical episode of the cartoon. It could have been like the comic book, but then it would have been idiotic like the comic.<p> GI Joe is no Batman, Watchman, or Sandman

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:11 a.m. CST

    Duke/Baronness seems taken from He-Man/She-Ra movie

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    The bad guys had She-Ra (Adora) under their control, until brother He-Man came in and his love (or whatever) began to weaken the control.<BR><BR> <BR><BR> She-Ra/Adora = Baronness<BR> Duke = He-Man<BR> Shadow Weaver = Cobra Commander<BR> Hordak = Destro

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:13 a.m. CST

    "GI Joe is no Batman, Watchman, or Sandman"

    by Shermdawg

    No shit. It's more in line with Wolverine.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:21 a.m. CST

    Yep Joe is like Howard the Duck...basically

    by darthSaul666

    Weird thing is I can't fault the acting and some of the choices the film made. It just goes into stupid overdrive like a bad Saturday morning cartoon in too many spots... I cosign the Wolverine part. Joe has more on par with X-Men origins than Star Trek

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:23 a.m. CST

    The "kung fu grip" and "knowing is half the battle" references

    by Tall_Boy66

    I knew there'd be a "knowing is half the battle" stuck in there somewhere and while it was awkward it was nice to see it. And I loved the throwaway reference to the one guy having "kung fu grip", which is probably the only sole reference to the original doll from the 50s that the entire film had.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:46 a.m. CST

    There were things I liked

    by darthSaul666

    I dug on the energy weapons a lot. Liked Brendan Frasier's cameo. Liked the allusion to Dr. Mindbender. But this flick was reeeeeaaalllly campy.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:47 a.m. CST

    DarthSaul666, I was referring to the comics.

    by Shermdawg

    Snake Eyes, and his saga is comparable to Wolverine. Hell, I even prefer it to muttonchop's.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:50 a.m. CST

    And there's not a damn thing wrong with being campy.

    by Shermdawg

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Wolverine in comics is the shit

    by darthSaul666

    Buddy of mine once let his old Joe comics around Snake Eye's arc.<p> That stuff was cool... But Batman and Mirage Studios era TMNT. I miss Raphael's teenaged angst.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:56 a.m. CST

    missed some words in that post

    by darthSaul666


  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Campy can be cool

    by darthSaul666

    Adam West as Batman... Can't beat that.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 5:02 a.m. CST


    by darthSaul666

    You see the Joe flick yet?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 5:18 a.m. CST

    I wasn't into the flashbacks....

    by darthSaul666

    Those kinda jarred me right out of the action

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:27 a.m. CST


    by SeXX ED

    Please mention the following: 1)"Fun". 2)"It's like playing with toys- THE MOVIE" 3)More "fun" 4)"Check your brain at the door" 4)Wait for it..."FUN"!!! You know what, guys? When that money runs out, you've still got a website to run... with what's left of your credibility after this stunt. Oh and yeah, I've seen it. It was actually WAAAY worse than I thought it would be before ya'll began your studio-funded love parade. I've had more "FUN" in jail.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:36 a.m. CST

    by dailysportspages

    The movie should have ended with GI JOE being outlawed as a rogue paramilitary organization. (as happened once in the comics)<br> With the Joes then having to go mobile (they have a mobile version of the pit), and the GI JOE team reduced to just a small core group that has to remove Cobra from having control of the presidency.<br><br> Instead we got the lame happy ending.<br> But im pretty sure that the sequel will involved something like what i just described.<br> At the very least President Zartan will get Destro and Commander out of jail.<br> And hopefully replace Hawk with one of their own men... possible 'General' Bludd? :D<br><br> One thing that does provide some hope was when Hawk said that each country was recalling its operators back home.<br> In essence maybe it means that the whole "international" aspect was deemed a failure and the new Joe team for the sequel is going to be made up of only Americans?<br> The core being Duke, Ripcord, Scarlett, and Snake Eyes.<br> You could easily replace the British Heavy Duty with Roadblock, and the Moroccan Breaker with Dial-Tone.<br> That makes the team all Americans.<br> They can include Frasiers character of Sgt Stone i guess.<br> Or call him Flint... Stone/Flint... same difference right?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:56 a.m. CST

    idiotic? the marvel comix were GENIUS

    by FleshMachine

    genius characters, stories....just great.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:57 a.m. CST


    by FleshMachine

    how did they fuck this up so bad???

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:58 a.m. CST

    if you dont know Marvel GI Joe

    by FleshMachine

    then you dont know GI joe at all.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Xformers = Cartoon, GI joe = Marvel Comix

    by FleshMachine

    THATS where they fucked this up. transformers was primarily a cartoon and toys..GI JOE was primarily the cool toys and the great marvel comic series..the cartoon was ancillary for the kiddies. NOT THE PRIME MEDIUM OF THE PROPERTY! i dreamed of a great gi joe film....stalker and the 'nam back story, the snake eyes/storm shadow back story with soft and hard master...zartan and the dreadnaughts...destro, cobra commander and his son...HOW DID THEY FUCK UP SUCH RICH MATERIAL IT WAS ALL RIGHT THERE!!!??? this sucks. SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A LIVE ACTION CARTOON LIKE TRANSFORMERS! JOE is DEEPER than THAT!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 7:05 a.m. CST

    snake eyes mouth??? wtf?

    by FleshMachine

    dumb. its supposed to be all messed up!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 7:09 a.m. CST

    So what's the consensus? 3 out of 5?

    by savagedave

    I jest, I jest..

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 7:43 a.m. CST

    This was Team America...

    by Cagliostro

    Minus the fun.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:01 a.m. CST


    by FleshMachine

    did you even read the "idiotic" comic? calling it idiotic says more about you than the comic.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Ripcord in the comix was cool as fuck

    by FleshMachine

    he had a great story line

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:40 a.m. CST

    In complete agreement with GibsonUSA

    by Laserhead

    Especially regarding the Paris scene. Why the FUCK are people saying this was some kind of great action scene. It was one of the stupidest, most boring and repetitive action scenes ever. Running in accelerator suits all over Paris? Having guys in the suits who don't really seem to know what the fuck they're doing? They looked idiotic, bouncing off cars and shit. Snake Eyes looked fucking retarded with his smiley-mouth. There's four separate flashbacks of little boy Storm-Shadow fighting little boy Snake-Eyes. FOUR!!! G.I.Joe must have been the most egregiously incompetent fucking military unit since Sgt. Bilko's platoon. I like the first two Mummy films alright, and I really like Deep Rising. I'm no hater on Sommers, or stupid eye-candy summer popcorn movies, but this was so fucking lame and boring and retardedly cheesy- and without a trace of irony, for those who insist it "knows" it's cheesy. I don't know who the fuck got paid off to give this movie a 'pass,' but it'll sink by its second weekend. Honestly, Van Helsing was maybe a little better than this.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Team America

    by Laserhead

    YES. Exactly. This was Team America remade as a live-action movie by people who never realized Team America was a comedy.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:42 a.m. CST

    And they re-dubbed Mr. Eko's voice!

    by Laserhead

    What the fuck was that about?!?!? They fucking dubbed one of their most prominent supporting roles, and recognizable actors, and nobody says anything?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:59 a.m. CST

    No they didn't.

    by Shermdawg

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST

    This movie shits on Larry Hama's work

    by DigitalDong

    Resolute had Duke/Scarlet hooking up, Rise of Cobra has Ripcord/Scarlet hook up. DESPITE THE FACT THAT SCARLET IS THE REASON SNAKE-EYES DOESN'T TALK. I love how both of those prefer to rewrite the Snake-Eyes origin and make Scarlet the village bicycle. I had a glimmer of hope in both of those that they'd get the backstory right, but they both failed. It was better when we didn't know anyone's background story. Now Cobra Commander is the brother of the Baroness who use to be Duke's lover? Take some brass balls to totally mess with the source material. Let's also leave out the fact Zartan killed the Hard Master, that Snake Eyes didn't lose his family till after he returned from service, or that Cobra Commander was always a mystery. On top of that let's have a British guy as the American president and P.I.T.T. located in Egypt. I employ anyone who thinks this movie was good to read the comic books, YOU'LL BE BLOWN AWAY AT HOW GOOD THEY ARE!! First 10 issues alone are better than this overpriced piece of hollywood shit only AICN would endorse.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    If this thing came out in 1989

    by jobs_are_for_wimps

    it would be the best movie ever.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Studios make bad movies because you pay for them

    by scratcher

    I'm not trolling here, just curious. <p>I wait to see whether a movie's worth paying $10+ before I go see it--you can get a good idea from word of mouth, talkbacks, and reviews. Why don't more people wait and see? The studios count on building up fans' excitement to see this kind of film on opening weekend, regardless of whether it's good or bad. It works. Why should they make them better, if people decide to see the film based on hype and IP, not on whether it's any good? If we went to see Star Trek three times instead of jumping on every hack job, maybe they'd put more emphasis on quality. There was never any question that a GI Joe movie would be cash in the bank, so why should they care? They can just manipulate fan loyalty and we come back again and again. I hope the Mr. Potato Head movie doesn't rape my childhood.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Movie was shit, AICN sold out

    by Nivek666

    But hey, so did alot of other sites. Hope you get your "exclusives" or whatever kind of shit deal you got out of giving this piece of shit a good review, you fucking shills.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:52 a.m. CST

    This movie was way better than Transformers...

    by SoylentMean

    the FX, not so much. I'll probably end up buying Transformers just for the FX. I'll buy G.I. Joe because it was fuckin' fun.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Rachel Nichols as Scarlet

    by SoylentMean

    fuckin' smokin' hot, she needs to be in more movies.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Good stuff.

    by lagomorph

    I'm shocked (not at all actually) that the geek elite have decided not to embrace this movie. It's stupid genre fun that stays faithful to the spirit of the original without devolving into camp. The flashbacks and interactions of the characters account for maybe 1/5 of the screen time the rest of which is one long well paced and entirely satisfying action setpiece. The writers were smart to fill the screenplay with the pseudo science Nanotech, as it makes some of Cobra's more ridiculous aspects somewhat plausible. Also, the movie was incredibly violent (smartly skirting an R rating with some choice edits) and featured people melting. It's not like they wussed out on the chaos. I am going to come out as a fan of the art direction and character design. I think it was updated well. Face it, your childhood's deserved to be rape.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:07 p.m. CST

    We know shit when we see it

    by Nivek666

    Stop making out that some of us are "elitist" just because the movie takes a shit on some stuff we loved as kids and fucks up shit a no-budget fan film can get right. Sorry if some of you can eat a shit sandwich with a smile.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Doctor's Voice

    by lagomorph

    Some people are praising Joseph Gordon Lovitt's voice as the Doctor but I couldn't stop thinking he sounded like Justin Long.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Playkins, sorry for a late response..

    by torpor_haze

    What I was trying to get at is that some people in this talkback seem to be surprised at what they saw. If you shilled out money to see this movie and expected to see cinema verite then you're dumb or its the first time you've watched a movie.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Fun movie, shotty FX, awful Duke and Baroness.

    by The Founder

    I liked it, and the action was cool, but the shotty fx really took away from it. Sweet ass accelorater suits though. That channing Tatum was horriably miscast as duke and Miller as Baroness was on slightly better. A little cheese here and there but over all i was entertained. i never read the comics and all i saw was the cartoon so i had no problem story wise with the film.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:49 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Talk about real American heroes. Holy fuck what a great film.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:49 p.m. CST


    by The Founder

    You haters know it to be true.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 12:57 p.m. CST

    I figured the fans would'nt embrace Joe.

    by The Founder

    Who's surprised. Same people that hated the best film(STAR TREK) of the summer. The film was exactly as the cartoon was for the most part. Never got imnto the comics so whatever went on there i don't care. Now the film had it flaws but overall I was pleasently entertained. My main problems was the videogamish looking fx, cause that really took away from the cool action sequences. What, did Sommers bring in the team from the Scorpian King to do the fx? As I've said Duke was just in name only. Tatum was himself as Duke and the Barooness was was just slightly better. i hated the way they portrayed her. No accent, mind controled and Duke's ex wife. Also terriable wig.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:01 p.m. CST

    What the Hell is wrong with Paramount???

    by The Founder

    Great fx on Star Trek and Transformers but then the studio crap out on GI Joe?? What the phuck. GI Joe should have been on the same page as the Transformers. Maybe the fx companies had their hands full. The fx in Joe looked to be rushed to meet the release date rather then right.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:09 p.m. CST

    GI JINO is quite watchable. A little too ADD, but it works.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I was surprised how violent and intense this movie was. However, all the intensity came from the action and the editing, it was not emotional.<p>The movie works. It's simple as that.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 1:26 p.m. CST

    It's gotta be better than...

    by Harold-Sherbort

    ...Star Trek and Transformers 2, right?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Star Trek and to a lesser extent Watchmen

    by lockesbrokenleg

    are still good movies that came out this year.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:29 p.m. CST

    This film is not better than TF2

    by TheLastCleric

    I didn’t hate the film but anybody who claims it’s a better movie than Transformers 2 or Wolverine doesn’t know the first thing about the craft of filmmaking. None of these films are great, timeless examples of the medium but G.I. Joe is about as artless and clunky as something like Batman and Robin, elevated only because of some decent action scenes and the nostalgia factor of seeing characters like Snake Eyes on screen. That said, this film took far more liberties with the source material than Transformers 2 or Wolverine, especially by making Storm Shadow a bit of a pussy and the Baroness a brainwashed heroine. Also, that Cobra Commander reveal was horrifically bad and Destro having metal nano skin was easily on par with what they did to Deadpool in Origins. Personally, I didn’t hate the film as it was a fun, cheesy kid’s flick but in terms of action and scope the whole things felt like amateur hour. I guess what really irks me is how this site can go on an organized tirade against Transformers 2 or Wolverine, both of which weren’t nearly as bad as the hyperbolic-infused reviews claimed, and then in turn endorse this film, which really is a bit of a mess. I can respect opinions but this whole thing reeks of hypocrisy and perhaps, as others have suggested, a nice fat buyout. It almost makes me wonder if District 9 might actually end up being mediocre, especially with this bullshit site pimping it so hard…

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:35 p.m. CST

    I don't want GI Joe exactly like the cartoon!

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Remember the episode where GI Joe and Cobra team stop kids from doing drugs!!<BR> No, I don't want that for the movie!<BR> I want what I think a lot of people want...a badass GI Joe movie that pays respect and honor to the source material...but is updated and grown up. Duke, Flint, Scarlet, Snake Eyes...doing their thing. F-15s, tanks, machine guns....Cobra Commander screaming in high pitch as his tanks charge forard...a badass military summer movie! Whats wrong with that?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 2:55 p.m. CST

    You people go to the circus alone?

    by Eats_sandwich_gets_laid.

    Hell no, you don't. You take as many children as you can to recapture what it was like being there as a kid. <br> Same principle applies here. I took my eight year old nephew to the movie and was able to live vicariously through his experience. <br> Oh, wait, I guess that won't work because you guys were all clearly in your mid-thirties when the GI Joe comics started coming out, and since this won't live up to what your PURELY adult standards have been since the mid eighties, I should just leave it well enough alone. <br>

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3 p.m. CST

    TheLastCleric, you are wrong, like all Clerics.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Transformers 2 was terrible. Your faith is misplaced in farting robots spouting illiteracy while embracing ethnic stereotypes with robotic metal balls and a mother that eats pot brownies but acts like its meth.<p>You would believe anything.<p>I couldn't help but walk on your bridge, but I urge you to cower beneath while you're kept warm by your imagined faith.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Not a great movie by any means....

    by jaysin420

    But its a billion times more entertaining than TF2 and T4 combined.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    GI JOE was bad in the same way Kevin Smith

    by lockesbrokenleg

    "movies" are bad.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Awful, but still better than TF2


    GI JOE at least had some badassery here and there, mainly delivered by Snake Eyes (shame about the mouth though) Channing Rectum could have been passable as Duke, but his part was horribly written, as was the whole movie basically. The rest of the actors were terrible as well, but like I said it's not so much their fault as it is the writers' of this movie. CG was laughably bad. It's clearly the director's fault, he should have been watching over his VFX crew, instead he probably snorted coke of some hooker's ass or whatever. Michael Bay can at least do both at the same time, I'll give him that. What the fuck was up with Cobra Commander looking like Darth Vader without his helmet?! He also sounded like James Earl Jones. Cobra from Scotland, Destro(?!) with an extremely annoying scottish accent. Awful idea with the accelerator suits. Wayans playing the equivalent of Jar Jar and the racist twins from TF2 was painful to watch. Fuck it, I don't even want to write about this shit anymore.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:30 p.m. CST

    There's a Team Fortress 2 movie out?

    by scratcher

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Please, the miltary stuff in TF 2 was better than

    by lockesbrokenleg

    in this sorry ass movie.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:42 p.m. CST

    The finale of Transformers 2 in the desert.....

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    ...if you take out the Autobots, and replace the Decepticons with some kind of new Cobra machines, to me THAT'S GI JOE RIGHT THERE.<BR> American military with some sci-fi.<BR><BR> There seemed to be almost NO POINT to the accelerator suits. They played no part in the first battle, and no part in the finale. It seems the only purpose was so that the movie could do that slo-mo Matrix thing in the Paris street. That's it.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:52 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe is the best Star Wars movie since Return of the Jedi

    by IndyCollector

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Ripcord & Scarlet

    by Atkinson

    I find it funny and a bit sad how talkbackers were pissed about the Scarlet/Ripcord romance. I figured in 2009, people would accept interracial chemistry. Oh, and Spock & Uhura sends their regards. :-)

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:07 p.m. CST

    I agree, Indy.

    by Shermdawg

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST

    22 million on Friday

    by BoRock_A_Boomer

    Not bad for an assfucking

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:15 p.m. CST

    This guy has to stop making movies.

    by kithian

    This movie was very aggravating. *some spoilers ahead to convey my dismay at this american propaganda* It promotes that average people(and when you see the joes actions and comments slighly less then average IQ's) get super powers and be a hero if they join the army and put on accerlator suits...however even with the ripped off iron man suits(i mean gi joes suits) they still get beat up by normal cobra operatives without accelerator suits...did i mention that they were also in the top 0.5% of all gi joes and still lost? hahaha stupid joes... They also ruined the baroness for me(damn she was really hot as the straight dark haired baroness)'ll see how they ruined her in the end. Dukes comment about him and his army, then all the stupid joes gather around him in the gave the impression of, "i am not going to fight you one on one cuz obviously you'd kick my ass so here are all my friends and when you can't swing anymore we win...GOOOO JOE!" Also GI joe is an american soldier...i've never heard the Vietnamese call themselves gi joes or the north koreans or even the chinese or french. And the scene when duke said hey you're from this country or that...was hoping you'd be stupid enough to overlook hey we're actually an all american strike force that enters any country and kill anyone we want cuz hey we are the americans i mean we're the good guys. If you watched the'd notice that the gi joes were actually more interested in getting their man/woman then of collateral damage...most of the civilians killed in the movie were because the gi joes were there and by dodging enemy fire and missiles and letting them kill all the civilians in the back more evil then cobra there JOES, but hey it's not in your country so it's all good right? I think the paris scene duke and ripcord and scarlet created most of the car accidents by smashing into them because they were average american soldiers without the intelligence to use high tech machinery. After they apparently killed one of the main cobra characters and the baroness was actually a good girl *rolls eyes*, don't know what else they can do...really hope they kill off more gi hoes in the next movie. Anyhow can anyone tell me how this movie is the rise of cobra when the handicaped americans i mean gi hoes pretty much destroyed cobra before it was even born? like come on...cobra base is destroyed, 2 main cobra characters are dead and turned because of LOVE *gag* and the only other two cobra are put in cells like magneto of x-men...why i don't know they are just normal humans with masks on...i guess the gi hoes think the mask are horrible and would be paralized with cowardice so they put them away in a fancy non transparent jail cell suspended in the air. Did i mention no hoes were killed except for the faceless joes which is all YOU new american recruits who join the army after you see this movie, remember this isn't the near future so no suits for you just a shirt because an AK bullet will still go threw bullet proof vest. Welcome to the army you dumb sons of a bitches. I wish i could join cobra just to purge the very annoying gi joes from our gene pool. GO COBRA!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:20 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe now cries out for the introduction of BIG LOB....

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    But before his introduction halfway through the sequel, a few changes in my opinion.... <BR><BR> - Anna stays a good guy, is blond again, and is Duke's girl. <BR><BR> - A new Baroness is introduced (a completely separate character than Anna), with an accent and is completely badass and intimidating. <BR><BR> - As a result of those nanocraps, Destro gains muscle mass and is now a huge, intimidating heavyweight. It's better that he's a big guy instead of a skinny old guy with a metal face, whether you like the cartoons/comics or not. It's just better. <BR><BR> -Scarlet/Snake Eyes relationship renewed. Early in the movie she had her arms on Snake Eye's shoulders. They were at least good buddies. <BR><BR> - Accelerator suits and Snake Eye lips quietly removed. No mention of why. Just quietly gone. <BR><BR> - Ripcord, Heavy Duty, and Breaker all either quietly removed or role heavily reduced. <BR><BR> -As someone already said/suggested, all the other international countries have recalled their soldiers, so now G.I. Joe is an AMERICAN operation. <BR><BR><BR><BR> There. <BR>NOW BRING IN BIG LOB!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:23 p.m. CST

    This was a bad film.

    by #1 Zero

    The effects were crap, almost like a cartoon. I think District 9 had like a fourth of GI Joe's budget and from what I've seen of that, the effects are way more realistic than anything in GI Joe. So that's one thing. Seriously, I've seen better video game graphics, it almost was a cartoon. Also, I've never seen Channing Tatum act in anything before and I thought he was awful. He was basically a block of wood. Breaker and Baroness were the only ones with any kind of actual performance going on. And Sienna Miller wasn't that great. As for a movie that is called the rise of Cobra, Cobra is actually only in it for the last five minutes if that, and Cobra Commander doesn't take on his full persona until the end. I come from the school that you don't save anything for a potential sequel. They should have had the Joes actually fighting cobra for at least half the film with cobra commander in charge for that amount. An utter disappointment. Harry's good review of this saying that it was just good fun is a joke. I couldn't even enjoy it on that level. I'm not even sure kids would like this film.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:32 p.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns...

    by KosherWookie

    Is the reason that EVERYBODY posting on the internet should have to provide their actual name, address and phone number in every post. Getting kicked in the nuts a couple of times would shut him up.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:40 p.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Huh?? This is a "dedicated" GI Joe talkback. What have I done besides talk about GI Joe?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:55 p.m. CST

    With The Exception Of A Couple of Posts...

    by KosherWookie

    Wherein you ACTUALLY discussed the film, even BIG LOB himself would be sufficiently irritated by your obsessive-compulsive, Tourettes-like, annoying repetitive invocation of him that he, too, would drop what he was doing, look you up, and come to your house to kick you in the nuts.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 4:57 p.m. CST

    And the Film...

    by KosherWookie

    Was actually a lot more fun than I'd hoped... Mostly because it was 100% Big Lob-free.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 5:18 p.m. CST

    That's Okay...

    by KosherWookie

    Lob would still only have to make one trip, then. Win-Win!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 5:46 p.m. CST

    I bet I can make a more coherent film

    by mitortilla

    with some firecrackers some g.i. joe dolls and a vhs camera.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Who i wanna see in the sequel...

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    Roadblock, Stalker, Beachhead, Gung Ho, Shipwreck(played by the Rock), Lady Jaye and Kamakura (Snake Eyes apprentice).

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:01 p.m. CST


    by IHaveSeenEveryEpisodeOfPrisonBreak

    As an avid fan of GI Joe as a kid (I am 35!), I thought this movie was a lot of fun. Anyone who is my age and played with GI Joe should have loved it. The only thing I did not like was Cobra Commander. I though he was OK, but not all that well developed. I think that is the plan though and I have a feeling we will be seeing the hood in the sequel. Yes, there will be a sequel(s). Anyway, fuck off nerds, I really enjoyed it and so did everyone in the theater I saw it in.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:03 p.m. CST

    iWant More!!!!!!

    by Boolean

    This is hilarious, so funny! I want more.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:15 p.m. CST

    It was ok, SPOILERS!!!

    by shutupfanboy

    The real problem with the film is all the relationships with Duke/Baroness and Scarlett/Ripcord. The whole Baroness being brainwashed was fairly lame although they did hint she may not be as brainwashed as we thought. Channting as Duke was pretty bland and maybe Pine as James T. Kirk look oscar worthy. Scarlett was hanging all over Snake-Eyes and next thing we know she is all about Ripcord. I also can't believe Snake-Eye wouldn't slap the black off of Marlon Waynes. I was praying that the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun was going to be Dr. Mindbender, but at least no. His final outfit was fucking horrible and as my friend pointed out he had the Vader breathing thing too. All hate aside, Destro, Snake-Eyes and the rest of the cast was good. The storyline was somewhat layered and the end was a bit of a shock. Nice cameo from Fraser as maybe Flint maybe not. I do hope the sequel will be better and at least let the bad guys escape at the end.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:29 p.m. CST

    And that would be not funny on not funny.

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    Hey! I made a funny!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Poor Ray Park

    by lockesbrokenleg

    He's in all these shitty blockbusters!!

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Hey X-Men was pretty good.

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    Ray Park was in that.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 7:56 p.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    You refer to my earlier posts, where I mention BIG LOB before I even saw the movie and before the movie was even released? <BR>Since I saw the movie, I have been talking about the contents of the movie...all the way up until your post about me which had nothing to do with G.I. Joe.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Three Snaps in Z formation

    by saintsaucey

    The movie was good. I could nitpick it to death but the movie was good.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST


    by j2talk

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:19 p.m. CST

    idonotseekabanning - sinking ice

    by Womb2dooM

    I just got back from watching the flick and you're wrong with your sinking ice defence. While some of the ice had metal attached, there were hundreds/thousands of other sinking shards that were clearly flying[sinking] solo.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:26 p.m. CST


    by aclockworkkebab

    im a movie snob, but i also love the big dumb hollywood blockbuster, but this summer...Revenge of the fallen, bored me, terminator salvation huge let down and now this, just nothig special, and again got a little bored about half way through started counting the mins as to when it might be finishing

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:38 p.m. CST


    by aclockworkkebab

    who is he sleeping with? hollywood has seemed to have decided this guys gonna be the next big action star, but everything ive seen in him he's been terrible and now gijoe, i watched for a change in facial expessions at any point and there were none, - finds out the baroness is his exwife, nothing...finds out his old best mate is baddie...nothing...eifel tower falls over nothing, you can complain all you want about arnold, stallone, and certain other big action movie stars, but they had some sort of charisma this guy just cant manage with a gun to his head (the next directors gonna have to try that to get an emotion out of the notalent piece of meat) STOP HIRING HIM...he acts like porn stars do when their trying to be serious between DP's thats the level of his performance in gijoe, Pornstar trying to act...rant over

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:44 p.m. CST

    dick van dyke accents

    by aclockworkkebab

    Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is born and bred in england so why does his english accent in gijoe sound like dick van dyke's in mary poppins, that's a good trick make a nauturally born brit sound like he's putiing on a fake accent, summers must of though if isnt going "cor blimey guv'nor" its not authentic...actually that was inda funny, why was destro scottish by the way, was that new to the movie i was a fan of the comic books and cartoon when i was kid, but i cant remember if he was always scottish, i just wonder because if it seems so random..why scottish? really dosnt matter just found it odd

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:50 p.m. CST

    Absolute dogshit

    by HoffmanPasander

    How much was Harry paid for his rave that coincidentally is appearing on every TV spot and poster around? This was reprehensible cartoon shite, and you'd have to be a 5 year old boy to enjoy this utter cuntwash. At least Transformers had some attitude and decent CGI and cinematography. This fucking animated shit had ZERO entertainment factor beyond JGL's audition for the Joker as Cobra Commander which was the only positive aspect. Fuck off Stephen Sommers, you shit cunt.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 8:52 p.m. CST


    by Immortal_Fish

    It must really suck for someone like you to find yourself followed up with a TB by someone like lagomorph.<P>Simply put, the comic source material blew away the cartoon source material. No different with Transformers. But the "movie based on a 30-minute toy commercial" will have none of that. As if it excuses a $100mil+ investment from having to be any, well... you know... GOOD.<P>If Joe or TF were horrible adaptations of the comics, that would have been adequate. Instead, they turned out to be mediocre adaptations of the cartoons, which is horrendous. Despite this, the ignorance of the masses fails to astound me.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9 p.m. CST

    About the lips on Snake Eyes

    by Immortal_Fish

    I have the first issued action figure before they added the extra articulation that allows you to "twist" their upper arms so their hands can meet. Trust me, the doll has lips. There should be no surprise where the movie is concerned.<P>You people have no problem with a six-foot, 30-something chick magnet as Wolverine instead of a 5-foot, ugly 60-something, yet you take umbrage with lips on Snake Eyes when it is justified. I don't get it.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:03 p.m. CST

    The last 40-minutes were awful

    by Immortal_Fish

    Snuck in after the flick I paid for was thru. Needless to say, glad I didn't pay for the full length of what appeared to be torture. My only hope is that Gordon will play Joker some day (as ironic as that sounds).

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:05 p.m. CST


    by nerosday

    I'll be honest, anyone who has read my posts on other Joe threads and TBs knows I'm not seeing this shit at the theater and I'm standing by that, but is it even salvageable for a sequel that we all know they're going to make. Tatum has got to go as Duke, I have heard enough to know that and a bullet will fix the Rip/cord Scarlett thing, but could a good sequel even come from this? Seriously. I will see this on DVD but I refuse to pay Paramount or Hasbro for tripe. Any thoughts, anybody? What in a fan's opinion MUST change to make this better?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:08 p.m. CST

    I'll hop aboard this sequel speculation train...

    by Shermdawg

    I'm not gonna go with what I think they're gonna do in the sequel, so much as what I'd like for them to do, storywise.<br><br>First of all, we all probably can assume Storm Shadow isn't dead. They wouldn't kill Snake Eye's story in the first flick. I'm sure the nanite healing will come into play, and maybe even give im some extra abilities. But that really wouldn't be all that interesting. Why not try to work the comics in there anyway? Say Storm Shadow is actually the third to go by that name. His grandfather, was the first, his father, the second, who left him at the school while he went to war. After SS3 kills SS1, as seen in the film, Storm Shadow 2, returns, tells Snakes that his father spoke highly of him, he tells him he doesn't have to seek vengeance, but he will not stop him. Snakes goes ahead, finally tracks him down years later, but now, SS3 has a gang of ninja friends, and is working with MARS as their Yakuza contact. We see a transaction, but Snakes doesn't. Snakes is discovered, takes out quite a few ninjas, but ends up at the mercy of SS3. SS3 realizes Snakes has taken an oath of silence, and he makes sure it's permanent. He then makes Snakes an offer to let by gones, be by gones, join him....or die. At this point SS2 rescues him, has a stare down with his son, and they make their escape. SS2 takes the injured Snakes to The Pitt, and places him under the care of his friend, Gen.Hawk. SS2 returns to the located school. This will set up an opurtunity for a scene adapting the second silent issue of the ninja assault on Storm Shadow's crib, later on in the trilogy.<br><br>Regarding Baroness, there is no replacement. She still has the nanites in her. So she'll be kidnapped by Cobra when he and Destro bust out of their prison. I don't think they'll make it known to the Joes that Zartan is posing as the president as early on as some think. Once Rex gets Anna back to their new headquarters....hopefully the Terrordrome, he makes the brainwashing permanent by giving her a whole new personality, thus giving her the accent. I'd also like to see the real Dr.Mindbender waiting there for them. Now, with that, and it becoming clear that Duke has no reason to continue on, he should be taken out of action during the bust out. Thus letting Flint fill the squad leader role. Here's the secret though, Duke wasn't as injured as we thought and assumes the Flint role, as an undercover Crimson Guard using recovered nanite tech from the Zartan experiment. Which would also serve as an oppurtunity to work Doc and Lifeline into the picture, and get Channing's non-acting ass out of there for awhile. This would allow the newly brainwashed, and sexed up Baroness to flirt with him. In the third flick, When Destro finally turns on Cobra Commander, he and Duke convince Baroness to sacrifice herself and kill her brother in some sort of doomsday device scenario.<br><br>Also, whoever mentioned Lucas Black for Beach Head, is a genius, although he should be older.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:09 p.m. CST

    nerosday, re: "What in a fan's opinion"

    by Immortal_Fish

    "What in a fan's opinion MUST change to make this better?"<P>Everything except for Baroness's look, Snake Eyes's look, Scarlett's hair color, and... and... Uhm...<P>...

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:13 p.m. CST

    And no the 1982 pre oposeable arm has no lips

    by nerosday

    I'm looking at it on and he has four small air slits on the mask, but no lips. There are kind of lips on the 85 version that sold with Timber

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:17 p.m. CST


    by Immortal_Fish

    Dude, sorry, but my non-twisting upper arm Snake Eyes that I played as a kid (that still bears the firecracker charring) has lip nudges just like my non-twisting upper arm Snake Eyes that is still in the blister pack (for collection purposes). The only difference is I can actually feel the nudges under thumbnail on the one that I attempted to blow apart.<P>The one in the blister pack is stand alone. I can't remember where I got the one that I actually played with.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Thanks Sherm and Fish...

    by nerosday

    Just saying as "fans" (meaning people who grew up with the source material like the comics etc) What bugged them the most and what, given the initial set up the franchise has been saddled with barring a total reboot, would the said lovers of GI Joe like to see changed to make the next movie better in their opinion. And I'm just trying to spice up the TB a little aside from "It sucks," "meh," "your all assholes," "no, you're an asshole," "It Rocked," "Screw the haters," and whatever the hellcrazy ass thing that Danny_Glovers_Dick_Blood is going to say.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Destro IS Scottish.

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    James McCullen Destro XIV. I thought you were a Joe fan?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:30 p.m. CST


    by nerosday

    well fish... That much has gotta go, huh? Good honest answer. See why I'm not going in for this one?

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 9:45 p.m. CST

    I think I lost it with GI Joe or Joe lost me...

    by nerosday

    When I saw the casting, costuming, and director, Sommers is not the guy I would have pegged for this, I keep reading the same phrase in the critiques of this movie, "Big stupid fun," but to me stupid isn't fun. It detracts from fun. It makes me watch a movie's climax and go... "Wait. Ice doesn't sink." Or hearing Sommers say that the ending is meant to be like Thunderball on steroids and then I think, "Well, yeah, but because everything moves so damn slow underwater they had to speed the film up on the Thunderball climax and it just looked really fucked up; so sure Stevie, you go ahead and do that shit again."

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 10:21 p.m. CST

    Just saw it tonight....loved it!!!!! Except...

    by Dogmatic

    It felt just like watching a feature length version of the cartoon show which was awesome! I really felt like I was watching a GIJoe movie....the high tech weaponry was great and the HUGE bases and all the code names and seeing icons like Cobra Commander, Destro, Baroness and Storm Shadow in the same scene walking a hallway talking about their plans....Hawk leading a lot of Joes on another random mission at the end....all abso-fracking-lutely wonderful! <p> My problem though was with the origins....I didnt like the whole Cobra Comm. as a military scientists happening to be Barroness'brother who sees some nanotech stuff and goes all gaga eyed....and what happened to Dr. Mindbender after that point? (Cool tho that he was played by Benny from The Mummy Sommers re-using him) I think his origin could have been done a lot better or even held til next movie. <p> Also, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow's backstory was far too rushed...and didnt make as good a sense....where did he learn those martial arts skills that he fought Shadow with when he caught him stealing food? I think it would have been great to have him injured when shot down...cant talk...going crazy...finding Shadow and Hard Master...being trained to be sane again...learning centering thru martial arts....rivalry with Shadow...thinking Shadow killed Hard Master and Shadow too proud to deny it....and thus rivalry reborn....and then work it in the sequel that it was truly Zartan (another nice re-use of Arnold Vosloo for Sommers) who killed the Hard Master. That woulda been felt too rushed and I didnt like killing Storm Shadow just like that....and he didnt even cut Snake Eyes once in that fight....he got beat down! That coulda been much better..... <p> LOVED everything else though! The Paris battle and Delta 6 suits were great and I have no idea about anyone's beef with the underwater battle at the end....those mini-subs were just like stuff Joe's and Cobra use and the giant underwater base?? Perfect stuff. I give it 7 outta 10

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Hasbro has a lock on the 2 WORST MOVIES

    by Stifler's Mom

    of 2009. GI JOE was bad, TRANSFORMERS was putrid.

  • :S I let the movie take me outta's GIJoe ....great mindless fun that takes me back to my childhood :)

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 10:28 p.m. CST

    I'm sure ice sank at some point in the cartoon ; )

    by Dogmatic

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Just got back from seeing it...

    by Astrozombie

    Just came back from seeing the movie. I am not a die hard GI Joe fan, i am just a regular spectator. I thought it was ok. A fun action movie, but I also thought it was too much at times. I think too much was being crammed down my throat as far as story and my biggest critique was that Cobra Commander didn't look like Cobra Commander at the end of the movie. Even if you are a fan of GI Joe or not, everyone knows what Cobra Commander looks like and I don't know what the hell that was at the end of the movie. And the Darth Vader sounding voice didn't help either.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Ice sinks when dropped from a height, then it floats back up

    by SoylentMean

    What are you all, retarded or something? None of you have ever dropped something buoyant into water? Oh, right, and you're all nitpicking a movie called G.I. Joe. Hilarity.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:12 p.m. CST

    The Baroness

    by Atkinson

    Because of this movie, I've developed a fetish for black-haired chicks with guns and glasses. (so sad)

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:13 p.m. CST

    No accelerator suits in underwater battle=less Joes drowning

    by SoylentMean

    The face mask was open on those things, they're clearly not watertight, and oh yeah, they seem to have electrical current running through them. <P> I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to use those underwater...

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Good to see Kevin J. O'Connor as Dr. Mindbender

    by SoylentMean

    He needs more work. He was also a nice surprise in There Will Be Blood.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Scarlet hotter than The Baroness

    by SoylentMean

    It's just true. I guess Sienna Miller don't do accents.

  • Aug. 8, 2009, 11:58 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:55 a.m. CST

    I saw the movie and... * big spoilers *

    by cyberskunk

    I found I did not care much about what was going on, action-wise. Maybe due to this, I did not feel much excitement. I heard a nearby child laugh at a couple fight scene moments, such as when a bad guy soldier gets electrocuted. Someone else laughed occasionally at jokes. I did become emotionally involved at the emotional conflict the Baroness had. This was strange to me, that in a movie like this where I cared so little about the plight of characters, my eyes got marginally teary when the Baroness rescued Duke and kissed him.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Is "it was fun" on the talking points memo

    by Dingbatty

    that they sent out to their plants? It's like a conservatory in here!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:11 a.m. CST

    This movie was better than advertised

    by JimmyPasta

    Action wise,this movie has no equal! It was like Roger Moore's James Bond meets Star Wars x 10! I'm an old guy & I plan to see it again. Amazing stunts & FX. Why is something like Star Wars/Star Trek taken seriously but critics rip this as silly stuff for boys?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 4:07 a.m. CST

    Needs more GIANT PIG

    by GIANT_PIG

    GIANT PIG!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:50 a.m. CST

    The version of Snake Eyes with the visor

    by Dingbatty

    does not have lips. It was supposed to look like the contours of a mouth through fabric, not an actual mouth with a mouth opening that was perfectly molded as if Snake Eyes sat for a plaster casting.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:28 a.m. CST

    A more gentle raping of my childhood.

    by GhostDad

    When the Transformers movies raped my childhood, they threw it in a van and had no mercy. GI Joe at least took my childhood out for dinner and drinks, then slipped it a roofie. Sure, still rape, but much more gentle.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:35 a.m. CST


    by GhostDad

    Marlon Wayans is basically the return of Stephin Fetchit.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:51 a.m. CST

    There is NO WAY this film cost $175 Million...

    by Mr. Profit

    If this movie cost $175 Million, then Stephen Sommers is a real inefficient director. There are directors like Alex Proyas who can make "I, Robot" for $120 Million. A lot of the effects were simply off. They didn't look good. The elevator going down to the HQ looked fake as hell. The plane that carried Baroness in the beginning looked cartoonish. And a lot of scenes even looked unfinished. So if Sommers spent that amount of money he should be ashamed. Transformer 2 was a pointless exercise, but ILM did a great job in ensuring the effects looked seamless. <P>Aside from that, the casting was OK. Sienna wasn't bad at all. Nichols is hot. Wayans wasn't annoying. And Snake Eyes and Mr. Eko were good. <P>Channing Tatum gets all this attention for being some sex symbol, but his acting was stiff. To play Duke they needed someone who was a better actor. JGL was wasted. And Dennis Quaid was in Paycheck mode. <P>Aside from these troubles, the movie wasn't outright terrible as the action (when it looked good) was good. And the film's pacing was good because you don't have a chance to think inbetween sequences since it all moves quickly. But you can tell there was a great movie in there, had the director been someone better. I'll compare it to X-Men. A not terrible, not great first movie that can only be improved upon dramatically with Part 2.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:25 a.m. CST

    I love how none of you think Snake Eyes should be able to...

    by SoylentMean


  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Hey GibsonUSA, I noticed an interesting point...

    by Atkinson

    When you mentioned some of your solutions for "fixing" the next G.I. Joe movie "- Ripcord, Heavy Duty, and Breaker all either quietly removed or role heavily reduced." So take the two black G.I. Joes and the one Moroccan-French G.I. Joe and stick them in the back or remove them - no mention of replacing them with Roadblock, Alpine, Stalker, or "Doc". Classy dude.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:01 a.m. CST

    I think this is the strangest review I will ever read of G.I. Jo

    by cyberskunk

    Excerpt: "“G.I. Joe” is not as good a popcorn movie as “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” but it still has nearly twice as high a rating at Rotten Tomatoes, reflecting its more liberal sensibilities. "

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:29 a.m. CST

    The movie has officialy flopped

    by ominus

    so the haters got their strongest argument now.let the new battle commence.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:49 a.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Oh, what’s that you’re saying, “60 mill is fucking great, you’re just a virgin hater living in your moms basement blah blah blah”, well, 60 mill is fucking terrible for the opening weekend of a movie that, somehow, cost 175 million. I guarantee that this is going to have a huge drop off next weekend and will be lucky to pull in another 20 mill, leaving the movie about 100 million short of it’s budget not even including marketing and advertising costs not to mention whatever they’ve been paying AICN, CHUD and every other site to promote this piece of shit.<br> <br>I predict that, in order to save costs, the next movie will be about the Joe’s going against Cobra in a potato sack race while Duke is used as a supporting beam for a house, Scarlett and the Baroness fight in Jell-O, Snake Eyes challenges the resurrected Storm Shadow to charades because they can’t afford a fight choreographer, Marlon Wayans accidentally sticks a grenade up his asshole and pulls the pin while Destros head is now covered with tin foil and Cobra commander wears a pillow case dyed blue with two holes cut out so JGL can do his best eye acting.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, noon CST


    by Orbots Commander

    ...considering the movie will drop like a rock next weekend, opening number one at $60 Million, when the budget is at around $200 Million is not a success. At best it breaks even. <p> Also, there's a great article over at Box Office Prophets about how Paramount basically bought off AintItCool and Chud, for good "reviews". Enjoy the payola guys; I hope the new BMWs are worth your credibility.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Yet, I have been mentioning and hoping for BIG LOB repeatedly. :)<BR><BR> It has nothing to do with the color of their skin. Ripcord is the Jar Jar of the movie imo. And how many people were demanding Heavy Duty and Breaker for the Joe movie? I would love to see guys like Roadblock and Alpine in future Joe movies.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    don't forget dvd+blu ray

    by darthwaz1

    this movie will have a second life and a second gross (way more) on the home ent. market.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Just Saw it

    by mitortilla

    and I thought it was the most generic hollywood piece of shit.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    It didn't need to be rubber. They could have even used the same material used for Spider-man's costume. Of course everything today has to be molded rubber. Fucking idiots.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:41 p.m. CST

    60million is slightly above the estimated take.

    by tile_mcgillus

    Its not great, but a decent opening. The film should make about 120-150mil at the box total and worldwide total about 250-300mil. It has the 4th highest opening in August history. With the 3 films above it making about 220 mil domestically on average.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:44 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    The cast are made up of B-listers who couldn't have cost much. I don't think Sommers can command a hefty paycheck, especially since this is his first movie in 5 years after Van Helsing tanked. Even though there was a lot of CGI, it's was cartoonish and in some cases piss poor. This was 90 minutes long and shouldn't have cost a penny more then 100 mill. The whole thing looked like a slightly more flashier made for TV sci-fi action flick. Were they partying their asses off the whole time with whore and blow or just literally burning the money?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Not as bad as WATCHMEN, but

    by StormTrooper6

    still bad. In fact, I think if I had a choice, I'd rather see Watchmen over this anyday. Did bring back good memories of the cartoon though. 2 stars.... out of the 50 on the good old USA.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1 p.m. CST

    60 MIL is bad all of sudden?

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    I don't say this often but Nigga please!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Good opening weekend

    by HollywoodPlant

    Lets see if it actually good enough to have staying power. I'm still going to check it out myself, hope its not that bad.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:14 p.m. CST

    yeah, I think more GIANT PIG

    by MichelleRodrijizz

    good call, GIANT_PIG

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Dreadlock Holmes, 60 MILL IS BAD FOR A 175 MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE.

    by CarlThorMark1978

    If this piece of shit had cost 100 mill then it wouldn't be too bad.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Never mind the cartoon, the real question is

    by Tindog42

    how does this movie stack up to 'Megaforce'?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:32 p.m. CST

    The good news for GI Joe is that there's few competition.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    For many, Joe was pretty much the last big summer movie to look forward to. It's not like Harry Potter is coming out next week. <BR><BR> I hope this movie does well enough to warrant a sequel, and I hope they go badass on the sequel.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    It may "tank" next weekend, but...

    by Mr. Profit

    Fanboys will be in a shock when it is still the number one movie in America. Because if anyone thinks "District 9" despite it's glowing reviews will open to more than 20 million, they are deluding themselves into believing the American public is eager to see it. District 9 cost less, so it will be fine. But it's not going to be a Summer Blockbuster. <p>GI Joe will be #1 again next week. And it may not drop as severely since there is nothing big out next week to challenge it. That's it. The next movie with a potential 30 million opening weekend gross is The Final Destination and that's 2 weeks away. No competition + 3D + Kids on a date will ensure it's #1 spot. But aside from that, this Summer was lackluster and it is over.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:01 p.m. CST


    by StormTrooper6

    And good for him. Any one of you would of done the same and you know it. At least if you were in his position. Think about it. You've given harsh reviews in the past, just recently TF2 and no one gave a fuck. They still liked it enough to see again and again and like it enough to tell their friends about it. You realize the big picture. Critics don't really mean shit. Poeple listen to their friends 1st. So his choice is take the money and say it was good, pay off the pimps debt. Or Sy how he really feels and keep hiring hookers he can't afford. You would do the same thing.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:05 p.m. CST


    by In_Rainbows

    This is what Harry thinks is good? I just saw it and did what was recommended. I checked my brain at the door. This was horrible! Harry, you are a fraud and a disgrace to those of us that look to your "insider's" opinion on what should be cool. I don't know what sort of incentives you get but I hope they’re worth what little credibility you had. Hack sellout.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:07 p.m. CST

    The movie was corney and disappointing.

    by abovo

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:21 p.m. CST

    My god that was awful.

    by robotdevil

    It wasn't good. It wasn't fun. Just terrible.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:37 p.m. CST

    fun but not that good....

    by Sillypuddy

    The homages to the cartoon (i.e. the ACE comment, the Snow Job outfits, and Heavy Duty wearing the Camo vest)were fun to see, but as a whole it seemed they were confused as whether who to make this movie for. It should have been more adult oriented...the lanuage was, butthe undrwater action was way to kiddie...Sommers needs to work on his fx direction...this was a far cry from the kick ass that was TF2....the two films don't even compare

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:42 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    It's going to drop at least 50% which means that it will be lucky to do 30 mill. That's 90 mill in total. Another 50% drop the next week means 15 mill, 105 total. 7 mill the next week, 112 total. 3.5 the next week, 115.5 total. Then it will putter out at about 125 if it's lucky because when I was standing in line for a showing, people were coming out of the theatre and talking about how fucking terrible it was, so word of mouth is going to kill it pretty fast.<br> <br>From what I’ve heard, the advertising costs for G.I. Joe are around 75 mill which puts it, budget included, 250 million in the hole so a 125 domestic take isn’t much to shout home about. This movie needs to do at least 300 mill worldwide just to break even. I think it might do well internationally while the DVD sales and toys will make the studio a nice profit but if you know anything about Hollywood, making a profit isn’t enough, they want smash hits and I’m afraid G.I. Joe just won’t cut it.<br> <br> The only way a sequel gets made is if it’s done on a smaller scale since there is no way in Hell that Paramount is going to greenlight one that might end up costing 200 million. At this point it looks like they would have been smarter to make a hardcore, R-rated action gorefest with plenty of nudity from Scarlett and the Baroness. The reason is that sex and violence brings in the big bucks internationally while an Unrated DVD might have made huge bank.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST


    by Matthew Martinez

    I can't believe no one has called out sith_rising for saying that one of the reasons the movie sucked is because Breaker was "a fucking Arab." Seriously? I hate to tell you, buddy, but that sounds like an incredibly bigoted statement. It would have come off a bit better if you'd written something to the effect of, "They arbitrarily changed the ethnicities of certain characters to make them more PC." Instead, you said he was "a fucking Arab," which just drips with contempt for middle eastern people. (It's as if you think they're all America-hating terrorists.) Honestly, I think that's as bad as if you'd have written, "Ripcord was a fucking black."

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:56 p.m. CST

    I haven't seen it, but...

    by Orbots Commander

    ...I've received the warning from friends who did. They told me the movie was a piece of shit, a DVD rental at best. Also, the SFX were apparently terrible, like a made for cable movie. <p> Guys that have seen that true about the FX? What did the $175 Million go towards? Hookers and blow? It couldn't have been Marlon Wayans, for crying out loud.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 2:57 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Don't waste your time trying to get hits by spamming these boards because although one or two people here may stray, boxofficeprofits (just like nukethefridge) doesn’t offer anything apart from a nice, neat little sanitized website filled with guys looking to make a name for themselves so they can score free tickets and swag. I relentlessly talk shit about Knowles, because we all know he’s a fat whore, but the Talkbacks allow for a (mostly) free and democratic forum for people like me to spew vicious hatred whenever I feel it is necessary. I also sometimes find some surprisingly intelligent and thoughtful discussions on these boards and I much prefer it here at AICN then CHUD where Devin Faraci plays King Shit while he circle jerks with his little clique of ass kissing sycophants in their echo chamber about how awesome and smart they are when the truth is that they just don’t like being challenged by anyone with a difference of opinion and then bans them.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:03 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Yeah, I talk shit about his work on Transformers, rightfully so, but given his raging hard on for military hardware, Bay would have been the most fucking perfect Director for this franchise. Give him 200 mill and an R-Rating and this could have been an orgasm of destruction!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST


    by StormTrooper6

    Hey.. so you don't like BOXOFFICE PROPHETS? Okay.. I just heard of them right now. Sounds pretty just to me. But you are right about the BOX OFFICE predictions. I was thinking Joe will be lucky to hit 120. Pretty good break down. I think someone above your post was pretty close too. Harry has lost touch though. Thats my opinion. He kisses the asses of people who give him attention.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST

    To not like TRANFORMERS 2 and to LIKE GI JOE, smacks of hypocris

    by Lazerman21

    Seriously, I enjoyed both films for what they were,mindless fun, I enjoyed he action in both films, and I enjoyed both films for every reason Harry and his cronies here enjoyed GI JOE, the one thing I cannot stand is the hypocrisy I see here, where those who slam TRANSFORMERS 2 are loving GI JOE for the same flaws in both. I turned off my Brain, and enjoyed he rides that Paramount and Hasbro brought to us this summer. But no film, un terms of summer movie going fun, has beaten STAR TREK as best film of the summer. There are meatier films out there, but no movie in my mind has given me the excitement to see it again like Star Trek did. So how I rate films? by how many times I would be willing to see it in the theatre again. 10 being the highest. STAR TREK :10 times WOLVERINE : Once TRANSFORMERS 2 : 5 Times GI JOE : 5 times HARRY POTTER 6 : 8 times MOON : 9 Times DRAG ME TO HELL : 7 times

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    CarlThorMark1978.. again

    by StormTrooper6

    About BAY doing GI Joe.. your right. Though can you imagine if TONY SCOTT had taken it.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:12 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    For 175 mill the FX were fucking awful. Most videogames have better graphics then this fucking garbage. The worst were the Joe’s planes and any time anyone walked out of one you could tell that the actors were walking out of a door surrounded by greenscreen. You’ve seen the trailer for Roland Emmerich’s 2012, right? That cost about the same as this piece of shit yet the FX of that movie look ten times better.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST


    by StormTrooper6

    I agree. Funny thing was.. we had a little earthquake when I saw it with family. During the last action piece... my girlfriend turned to me and said... "I think we just had an EARTHQUAKE." I looked at her and said "These speakers move the ground."

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST


    by StormTrooper6

    I agree. Funny thing was.. we had a little earthquake when I saw it with family. During the last action piece... my girlfriend turned to me and said... "I think we just had an EARTHQUAKE." I looked at her and said "These speakers move the ground."

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Yup, some effects looked unfinished.... Very wonky and bad...

    by Mr. Profit

    175 Million? Please. Look at what Guillermo Del Toro can do with 60 million. It's insane that GI Joe even cost that much. And also it had no distinctive look. From scene to scene it switched and most of it looked like bad green screen. It will make bank world wide, but a sequel will need a real director who can manage money effectively. There is no excuse for this to cost 175 million the same way Funny People had no excuse costing 75 million. What is it with these directors and their ridiculous budgets? Something cost 200 million, I wanna see it all up on the screen. People like to make fun of the Wachowski's but at least their movies look good and are never made for an astronomical budget.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    It’s just that I swung by the site and it doesn’t look like it offers me anything better then AICN or CHUD which I do like despite the fucking asswipes that run both sites. Ten years ago there were dozens of movie related websites all over the place and I was a member of a lot of them. But now that I’m older I just don’t have the time to read through ten websites a day. I joined nukethefridge a few months ago but I told them that I was leaving because they had a habit of censoring almost everything I posted because I’m a vulgar, disgusting person that swears a lot because of my limited vocabulary and also because as a child I went to Catholic school. It’s these same reasons that no one goes near HitFix, the site that piece of shit Drew McWeeny writes for now. Eventually he’ll come crawling back to AICN once HitFix kicks his ass to the curb.<br> <br>Also, I hate Tony Scott with a passion, so no, I would not like to see him anywhere near G.I. Joe.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST


    by StormTrooper6

    U hate Tony Scott? He's done some greats in my opinion, but thats fair. I'll keep an eye out about what you said though. About BOX OFFICEPROPHETS.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay's Transformers would have been awesome.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Not putting down Sommers. I believe he can make a badass Joe movie. <BR>I'm talking completely separately, as people have mentioned Bay.<BR><BR> IMO, the military parts of Transformers 2 hinted strongly at what a live action GI Joe could be. The way the American soldiers were taking cover and battling the Decepticons (imagine them as Cobra robots)was so GI Joe to me. It had such a military feel.<BR> Watch the military parts of TF2 and imagine<BR> Josh Duhamel = Duke<BR> Tyrese = Roadblock<BR> Megan Fox (imagine redhead) = Scarlet<BR> Dude, imo, it works. IMO the ending of Transformers 2 should have been a middle battle of GI Joe.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:37 p.m. CST

    I meant Michael Bay's GI Joe would have been awesome.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:46 p.m. CST

    They should of meshed them in the same Universe

    by StormTrooper6

    Could of been coo if Tyrese was named ROADBLOCK in TF2. Or if they would of shown accelerator suits being made to fight TRANSFORMERS. Both properties are owned by HASBRO. They could of made them in the same U.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 3:46 p.m. CST

    They should of meshed them in the same Universe

    by StormTrooper6

    Could of been coo if Tyrese was named ROADBLOCK in TF2. Or if they would of shown accelerator suits being made to fight TRANSFORMERS. Both properties are owned by HASBRO. They could of made them in the same U.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 4:05 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Yeah, I don't like her but she does look like a scary demon slut which is what the Baroness should have been.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 4:21 p.m. CST

    GI JOE movie is set a good 20 years after the Transformers movie

    by dailysportspages

    So the nanomite and accelerator suit technology could all be stuff gleamed off of transformers tech before they all just got up and left earth.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 4:25 p.m. CST

    The Movie was great as is

    by gad

    If you like your movies fun and without the boring parts then this movie is one you want to see. A bit more fun than the second Transformers movie but just as action packed and FUN. Like playing with your GIJoe's in the dirt and sand when you were a kid. Sienna Miller - not hot but as the Baroness Hot as it's possible to be. Once again, you know, don't be fooled by people who hate everything and who say the movie sucks. It doesn't. The movie was great and I'll go pay to see it again.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Thank god the summer of shit movies is over

    by Dkev00

    This has got to be the worst summer for movies in recent memory.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:13 p.m. CST


    by Wrath

    If we start bitching now. Maybe we'll see the old school helmet or the hood in the sequel.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Don't hate the player, hate the game.

    by Anna Valerious

    I liked the movie, although the last movie he made without anything more to it was "Deep Rising", which I hated. Of course, I was a little euphoric watching it as I caught "The Seeker: The Dark is Rising" and met Ray Park before I went to see it. :D

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Here, here on the summer of shit movies.

    by Orbots Commander

    Ugh. The fall/winter movies can't come fast enough.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Yes, the District 9 ass kissing fest

    by lockesbrokenleg

    is right around the corner.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:52 p.m. CST

    The Drop Off

    by GhostDad

    I don't think the Drop Off will be as significant as people are saying. Sure, everyone in the 30+ who was gonna see it has seen it but with less to see, and Summer winding down, I think the film's main audience, kids, will still come see it. With Transformers, I think a lot had to do with parents refusing to take their kids to see it due to reviews that called it racist, sexist etc bit Joe was inoffensive enough that I think parents waiting on word of mouth of reviews won't have a problem taking their kids the 2nd or 3rd week when they hear how FUN it is!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:56 p.m. CST

    "Big Dumb Fun, Big dumb fun, bigdumbfun, BIG duuuumb fun"

    by IndustryKiller!

    The arbitrary love of summer films has finally begun to eat itself.I mean listen to you mother fuckers. Repeating "big dumb fun" like it was some automaton Orwellian mantra. I dont think you people have any idea what you like or dislike anymore. You are broken. Your mind has ceased to comprehend your need for great genre films against the utter lack thereof. Iron Man and Dark Knight last summer being the exceptions that proved the rule, pushing you ever closer to insanity in their absence this year. My God, go see The Hurt Locker, District 9 (which BETTER be good), and Inglourious Basterds and STOP seeing this garbage. Just fucking stop it. You arent an idiot, you dont HAVE to see this crap. Grow a sense of taste and stand up for yourselves.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:58 p.m. CST


    by GhostDad

    It looked like they had everything ready to go, and the tech told Sommers "OK, this'll take 20 hours to render." to which he replied "Fuck that! Do it in 2!" Seriously, the shots of the plane going to The Pit that looked it was pre-last starfighter.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 5:58 p.m. CST

    The Ciritcs were kinder to GI JOE then they were

    by lockesbrokenleg

    to the Clone Wars movie.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:06 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Last year we got The Dark Knight, Speed Racer (I loved it so FUCK YOU!), Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk and Hellboy 2. Sure there was some shit, Crystal Skull, Hancock, X-Files, Mummy 3 etc…but the quality, of the previously mentioned films, was so high that it washed away the taste of the shitty ones.<br> <br>But this summer has been truly fucking terrible. Every single film this summer has been seriously lacking in one department or another whether it be the shitty script, the horrible acting or fucktard Direction. Star Trek had great acting and Direction but the script sucked. Terminator Salvation, Transformers and G.I. Joe were complete fucking trash in every department while Harry Potter won by default but even that didn’t blow my ass off either. I am just so fucking meh about this years batch of movies.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:12 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    We found one!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Thats because Clonewars

    by GhostDad

    was absolute shit. And GI Joe was, is, and always has been as cash grab and a big commercial for toys. Clone Wars, on the other hand, was a cash grab and and attempt to sell toys but spawned from something that was so beloved and got so many of us into loving movies. Clone Wars getting a theatrical release basically proved that Lucas no longer gave a crap about the fans, and the SW franchise was officially now a way to sell books, videos games and toys, no longer the iconic franchise we grew up with and for that, Clone Wars deserved every bit of venom it had spewed at it. GI Joe has never pretended to be anything other than a toy commercial.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:13 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller!, I WANT BIG, FUN AND SMART!!!

    by CarlThorMark1978

    But the fucking morons that run the studios don’t seem to get that and why should they when millions of fucking retards go to see Transformers. I hoped that The Dark Knight might have taught them something but these people are incapable of making intelligent, quality entertainment. Movies are just too expensive to take any risks, which is why they go for cookie cutter shitbusters made for drooling imbeciles.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer was a movie for 8 Year Old Boys...

    by Mr. Profit

    So the hate that was leveled at it was really unnecessary. People tore it to shreds as if the movie went and gave their Mom a golden shower in the middle of the night while she was sleeping. <P>I saw it, I didn't jump for joy and call it the second coming, but my little cousin who is 12 enjoyed it because it reminded him of Mario Kart. Whatever, the production values were also pretty good. And finally, the random fight scenes at the hotel and on the mountain top were two of the best choreographed fight sequences that whole Summer. Name a better fight scene last year that was filmed with any sort of coherence?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:18 p.m. CST

    I dont mind Beaks giving tix to his friends

    by IndustryKiller!

    I mean unless he has like 50 friends big deal. If he's giving away 10 or 15 seats thats pretty negligible. He is organizing the thing, I bet any of us would do the same.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:19 p.m. CST


    by IndustryKiller!

    how the fuck did I post that int he wrong talkback? That was supposed to be int he D-9 screening TB. Nothing to see here, carry on.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:22 p.m. CST


    by GhostDad

    The studio heads don't understand that Dark Knight was actually an intelligent, quality movie. Studio heads think people liked it because A. it was Dark and B. The Joker. I heard a producer at Legendary basically confirm this at a recent seminar when someone asked about Superman, and he replied that after Dark Knight, they realize their movies have to be darker and Superman would "need an over the top villain who can carry the movie." The problem is that most studios basically think having a "Joker" means a good actor doing a funny voice, so we get JGL as Cobra Commander.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:25 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, KNOW WHY I LIKED SPEED RACER SO MUCH?

    by CarlThorMark1978

    The Wachowski's knew exactly what they were doing and what type of movie they were making. It was well written and Directed with quality acting. It was also the only movie of that summer that had a self contained story that didn't hint at future sequels.<br> <br>I originally wasn't even going to see it because I FUCKING HATED the original cartoon nor do I give a shit about cars or racing but I got a free ticket and I couldn't believe how much I fucking loved it. For some reason everything in the movie just clicked with me and it was easily the most satisfying movie of last summer.<br> <br>It’s the type of movie that I could imagine an 80’s era Joe Dante or Robert Zemekis to make and it was so much fun while being stylish and smart. Oh and Christina Ricci was INSANELY FUCKING HOT HOT HOT!!! Susan Sarandon also looked fucking good for her age because red hair and big tits never gets old!!! Don’t even mention Harry Knowles in relation to that last sentence or I’ll hunt you down and FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Calthor Im with ya

    by IndustryKiller!

    I liked all those movies you mentioned last summer, save Hellboy 2 which I thought had a nice visual style but had a terrible piecemeal story that plodded along randomly and no chemistry between the leads (I swear from the look on her face Selma Blair did that film at gunpoint). But this summer has been ridiculous, just completely over the top in its badness. Thank you for nailing Star Trek. Amazing acting and directing but that script was complete ass, most people cannot seem to recognize that. Moreover I dont think Ive seen so many suckers tripping over their own dicks for projects they will admit in 6 months are unwatchable. You also forgot to mention Wolverine, which for me personally was still the worst thing I saw all summer, butt hen again I skipped Transformers 2 and GI Joe.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Oh shit, why do we compare everything to TDK

    by lockesbrokenleg

    It wasn't THAT good. Some of the "acting" in it was downright awful.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:30 p.m. CST

    But wasn't Singer's Superman as dark as Superman can get?

    by Mr. Profit

    He had depression and ran away after date raping Lois and leaving her with a kid. That sounds like some soap opera shit to me. The problem with that movie wasn't solely the lack of a good villain. But it was Singer's attempt to respect parts 1 and 2 that he forgot he was making his own movie. He really should have just done it in a way where there were villains who were as equally as strong as Supes. But we get another Luthor scheme. It was silly. <P>Also I know Singer is the golden untouchable child around these parts, but he really lacks visual flair. His movies for being so expensive look incredibly dull. <P>If they revisit Superman, they need to just get a good villain, forget about it being "darker" and amp up the action. It's the only way to go at this point. <P>Oh yeah, and get off your asses and make Wonder Woman happen with a director like Bigelow at the helm getting her back into the action scene. She deserves recognition since she is one of the few female directors who can handle action so assuredly...

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:34 p.m. CST


    by GhostDad

    I agree with you. On repeat watching, there's a lot not to like about TDK. It was about 45 minutes too long, and a lot of the stuff I found most interesting, such as the batman copycats, was glossed over. The Two-Face stuff felt rushed, could have been its own movie. All of Alfred and Rachel's dialouge was extremely On The Nose and hackneyed an the acting by anyone who wasn't a main character was laughable. I thought nothing was worse than the "If that pressure hits the water main, the whole thing'll blow!" guy from Batman Begins, but the "We're sittin ducks! We're like turkeys on thanksgiving!" cop managed to top him.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:37 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Profit

    Saw it one time in the theater on IMAX. I really liked the film, but the experience leaves you a little cold. You don't leave the theater in high spirits because the movie is serious. And they must have hated Maggie Gyllenhall because she was lit in the most unfortunate ways throughout the entire film. I also didn't care for her acting since she was playing a watered down version of her "Secretary" character. It took a lot for me to say I preferred Holmes in the role.<P>I bought the DVD and tried to watch it at home, and after the bank sequence I noticed I had began surfing the web on my iphone and I turned the movie off because it didn't hold my attention. So to this day I have only seen it once. But I have seen Batman Begins and Batman Returns a whole lot more... TDK was a solid film, but it's not one to watch more than a few times IMO.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Uh, Wrath...

    by Shermdawg

    The only way to boycott the new mask is to boycott the film. And if you boycott the film, you'll never get a sequel. Great plan there, chief.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:39 p.m. CST

    Snake Eyes fucks Scarlet

    by DigitalDong

    That's why people don't like the Ripcord/Scarlet thing. It's like seeing the girlfriend of one of your buddy's messing with another dude.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Mr Profit

    by GhostDad

    I thought it was pretty much the darkest you can get with Supes, too. Really the one scene that I thought was spot on was the first scene when he comes back to earth, he's flipping channels at his mom's house and sees 9/11 and Katrina footage, basically saying the world's become a darker place due to his absence. But yeah, I don't know how to make a Supes movie darker unless you do Doomsday.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Also DARK

    by GhostDad

    Is another useless, apolegetic buzzword like FUN. God, I remember hearing everyone who liked ROTS trying to sell me on it because it was DARK!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Ill give yout he Two Face stuff Ghostdad

    by IndustryKiller!

    I think it's the films biggest flaw. The mania of that character could have been explored in far greater detail. Even if he chose not to use him in the next film it would be cool just knowing Two Face is out there somewhere. The Rachel stuff is fine because she is really just a cipher for Harvey Dents character, and she works wonderfully on that level. Nolan got saddled with Goyers terrible Batman Begins script in the first one and he realized that her character just does not work in Batmans world, so wisely he made her a plot tool when he wrote his own script. I also disagree on ALfred, he may be there to speak platitudes, but thats the kind of relationship Wayne and Alfred have, and god dammit if Michael Caine doesnt make it sound as natural as improv. Tell me that speech about the thief in Burma doesn't resonate and give a wonderful fleeting glimpse into Alfreds past. What I love about what Nolan has done with that relationship is the allusion that Alfred seems to be as willing to sacrifice Bruce to the cause as Bruce himself is. Which is the way it would have to be if Alfred was going to be complicit in the Batman persona. That deep down part of Alfred is just as much of a zealot as Bruce is. It's an interesting character dynamic and one that even in the comics oft goes unexplored. Nolan doesn't beat it into the ground, gives you just enough crumbs to pick up yourself.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:53 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Profit

    I agree I thought that was actually a good angle with how fucked everything got with him not around. They could have went somewhere with that. But then the rest of the movie was just one huge homage to the original. And that is a problem when people like my brother who is now 22 never ever took the time to watch the original Superman movies. You somewhat alienate younger folks and they are usually the ones who drive up your box office take. <P>And as for Doomsday, I think he is probably someone Superman should fight onscreen soon. But not in the next film. I think the only thing they should steal from the old movies are the Phantom Zone Villains. But of course ramp up the action from floating pothole covers to actual serious fighting and damage. And then hint at Doomsday being up next at the end of the film the way they hinted at Joker in Batman Begins. <P>But it seems WB has a new mandate. So expect Superman to be all angsty while they recast Bosworth with Gyllenhaal....

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:53 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Read Easy Riders and Raging Bull’s and you’ll see how, despite what some fucking idiots think, Lucas never had some sort of master plan when he created Star Wars. Lucas is a fucking poser. He made THX1138 only because he knew that Sci-fi sells but he also wanted to be regarded as an artist like Coppola, his mentor, which is why he made that movie into a dystopic, boring piece of shit with little or no entertainment value.<br> <br>That failure drove him to make American Graffiti which was created purely to capitalize on nostalgia for the 50’s. It made a fortune but he knew he could rake in the cash by making a kiddie sci-fi movie and selling a ton of toys like Planet of the Apes. He tried to get a hold of Star Trek and Flash Gordon before settling on creating his own sci-fi movie which, of course, became Star Wars which was ripped off from a dozen different movies and genre’s with a heap of Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces.<br> <br>I’m sure that you and many other people on these boards know all of this but it’s obvious to anyone today that Star Wars was a fluke. It was the right idea at the right time with the right group of people coming together at an exact moment. That’s all. Empire and Raiders only turned out great because Lucas’ attention was split between the two while also supervising ILM, so he didn’t have enough time to stick his nose in and fuck up either. But he was able to focus on Jedi and Temple which is why those movies were teh suck not to mention almost every other movie that he’s taken a direct hand in, including the prequels and Indy 4, have been fucking shit.<br> <br>The thing that bothers me the most is that for over 30 years he’s kept going on about how he’s eventually going back to doing smaller, more experimental movies. Bull. Fucking. Shit. He’s a billionaire with unlimited tech at his disposal. What’s stopping him? Nothing and that’s because he fancies himself as an artist but is either too fucking lazy or chickenshit to do anything.<br> <br>People say that Lucas and Spielberg killed the 70’s film movement but they only helped as that era also imploded through coke, booze and hubris. But the fact is that apart from a handful of quality movies, the real legacy of these two is from creating simplistic rollercoaster rides which I feel conflicted about because, although I am grateful for those movies, I look forward to the day when they are no longer dominating North American cinema and we can move towards a new Golden Age that will eclipse anything that was ever made in the 1970’s, the greatest era in North American cinema history.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:56 p.m. CST


    by GhostDad

    I think a lot has to do with the current trend in film-making of "Remind the audience about something someone said 3 minutes ago." I'll give you that it wasn't as bad as re-iterating "Why do we fall?" constantly like they did in Batman Begins. Caine made his Jaws 4 dialouge passabke, so it's not a surprise he was able to do a lot with his TDK material, and the Burma bit was the one bit of his dialouge that I felt worked well worked because it summed up The Joker, and what Batman would have to do. I get that Alfred's a mentor, but having an "exposition!" character I think weakens your story overall, especially if he doesn't have anything else to. At least in Batman Begins, he was split between advice, and trying to keep the image of Bruce Wayne alive rather than spout out what the story is.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:57 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller!, THAT'S WHY HELLBOY 2 WAS LAST ON MY LIST......

    by CarlThorMark1978

    But it was a big budget monster movie so I can't be too harsh. Don't you just wish that Hollywood would make some hard core Horror films with that level of budget and creature FX?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 6:59 p.m. CST

    My G.I. Joe 2 WISH LIST.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    In no particular order: <BR><BR> - G.I. Joe is now centralized to the U.S. (Real American Hero)<BR> Old friends continue to offer international support. <BR><BR> - American military feel. Troops walking in front of tanks. Guys directing planes on aircraft carriers. American flags. U.S. Air Force logos. <BR><BR> - With the American military feel comes Flint, Roadblock, Lady Jaye, Beach Head, Gung Ho, and Alpine. <BR><BR> - Lip-less Snake Eyes/Scarlet together again. <BR><BR> - Hooded Cobra Commander with muscular Destro overseeing huge infantry of Cobra troops and tanks. <BR><BR> - Huge, badass military land battles involving troops, tanks, and other vehicles. Sci-fi weaponry mixed in with realistic machine guns and stuff. Scarlet's weird gun in this movie, for example, was cool.<BR><BR> - G.I. Joe's reverse wing fighter jet with the shark face (yeah!) engaging Cobra jets in air battles. <BR><BR> - BIG LOB. He vocally announces his intention to make his move. Him and buddy Tunnel Rat and newbies who find a way to help the Joes.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7 p.m. CST

    Mr Profit

    by GhostDad

    What will be interesting to see, is if Watchmen's lack of success with mainstream audiences changed the mandate they had on "angst"

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:01 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    Star Wars has been popular for over 30 years. It's not a fluke.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Ok we need more talkbackers like CalThor

    by IndustryKiller!

    It's good to see some people who can actually see the forest from the trees. I was in denial for a long time about the first Star Wars film being a fluke. Now its obvious that Lucas, who to be fair could actually write a little bit at the time, got saved by his last decent screenplay, some wonderful actors (even Mark Hamill who navigates Luke through one of the best, most organic character arcs in film history), a rag tag bunch of visual Gods, and a great editing team. The subsequent films had an assembled team of geniuses filling in for him as he "consulted", which turns out to be the best trick Lucas ever could have pulled as he sopped up all the credit. The Star Wars Prequels are naught but the devils handiwork.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:08 p.m. CST

    Bullshit Star Wars was NOT a fluke

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Is everyone in this thread under 20? Star Wars captured a WORLD back in 1977. It wasn't just some shit movie like GI JOE. EVERYONE loved it. Lucas came up with the stories, so fuck off.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:10 p.m. CST

    What I said about SW...

    by GhostDad

    I started seeing through SW when I started getting more and mre into films in my teens. The reason I described it like I did in that post, was to explain why Clone Wars got more heat from critics than GI Joe did, as GI Joe isn't the "holy trilogy of films." I've met so many people who've cited Lucas as their inspiration that it's funny, as he's really the equivelant of the guy who's coasted by on their friends success. I mean really, if not for his friendship with Speilberg, can you imagine how bad "Indiana Smith and the Raiders of the Lost Ark" would have been? Every time Lucas calls himself an "independent filmmaker" and talks about little movies, I wanna choke him but then I realize he doesn't have a neck.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah, and Snake Eyes doesn't talk because of SCARLET

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    They can still have that be the real reason. Storm Shadow can THINK that its because of some vow of silence, but the real reason can still be Scarlet.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:26 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    Was screaming "30%, I only got 30% of what I wanted” as he had went through hell to make his movie. Well, Lucas got 100% in 1999 and what we got what The Phantom Menace, a horrid piece of Rancor shit. Also, people don’t seem to realize that American Graffiti influenced Star Wars to the extent that he cast people in their late teens and early twenties, where as, by the time he got around to doing Episode 1, Lucas’ sensibilities had become so infantilized that he decided to cast, as three of the main protagonists, a ten year old boy, a 16 year old girl and an insufferable, squaking retarded piece of shit as the comic relief.<br> <br>Peter Jackson’s LOTR trilogy must have lit a fire under Lucas’s fat ass as I thought AOTC was slightly better, it at least felt like a Star Wars movie, while ROTS was too little too late and yet still quite shitty in places.<br> <br>Fluke. Fact.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:29 p.m. CST

    So what if it was only 30 percent. He still made it

    by lockesbrokenleg

    He didn't wait 30 years for the tech to get better. Seeing as how he made it on a shoestring budget proves it wasn't a fluke.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Also, consider the time SW came out

    by GhostDad

    I think a lot of its success had to do with it coming out at the right time. I consider the 70s the absolute best time for films, but Star Wars, a popcorn flick that synthesized aspects of other movies that people were proven to like, was like a breath of fresh air for the people who were yearning for a throwback to the previous decades adventure movies rather than their time's more heady cinema that reflected what a fucked up time the 70s were.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:35 p.m. CST

    I would say ROTS is actually the WORST Prequel

    by IndustryKiller!

    I think from a filmmaking standpoint its far worse than Phantom Menace and script wise at least as bad as AOTC, probabl worse. I think the only reason it gets a pass is events actually OCCUR in ROTS, unfortunately those events were so horribly done that it pisses int eh face of DECADES of built up story. The mother fucker gets his own story wrong at several points. Also it features probably the worst lightsaber duels of any of the trilogy. The Anakn Obi Wan fight, which has no excuse not to be one of the most thrilling scenes in film history, is one of the most poorly shot things Ive ever seen and contains ZERO pathos thanks to that terrible actor Hayden Christensen and Lucas ending the fight with ANakin basically making the biggest rookie mistake ever. NOTHING in that film works. Not the destruction of the Jedi, Palpatines final reveal, Anakins fall, the crumbling of Obi Wan and Anakins friendship, or Padme dying completely inexplicably considering Leia clearly states that her mother was alive in Return of the Jedi (and no she wasnt talking about her adopted mother). NONE of it works, none of it. people must be insane to state the Anakin/Palpatine opera convo asa high point of the film because it's there that Lucas changes what should have been an organic systematic turn down a dark path for Anakin into a cheap COMPLETELY out of the blue novelty based on some just invented prophecy that has nothing to do with anything.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:38 p.m. CST

    Star Wars, Rocky, and Jaws

    by lockesbrokenleg

    changed movies forever. Also, at the time, toys from a movie were UNHEARD of. The toys for SW came out a YEAR after the movie did, so don't say he had everything planned. What if it flopped. We'd still be watching shit like Taxi Driver.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:39 p.m. CST


    by GhostDad

    But it's DARK!!!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Oh, and IndustryKiller!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    You hate everything already. So who gives a fuck what you say.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:45 p.m. CST

    did you just say "shit like Taxi Driver"??

    by IndustryKiller!

    What the fuck? NOW I've heard it all. Someone get the boiling oil.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:49 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    It's all in Easy Riders Raging Bulls.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:58 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, NO IT PROVES THAT HE GOT LUCKY....

    by CarlThorMark1978

    Care to explain Howard the Duck and Willow?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Snake Eyes and Ripcord are gonna double-team Scarlett

    by Tall_Boy66

    I mean, it's so obvious that's going to happen and she'd be into that considering how she lives a shell of a military life so in her downtime she'd totally dig two cocks in her at the same time. Probably DP her while Duke watches in a corner, drinking brandy.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8 p.m. CST

    I mean, we saw Scarlett hugging/leaning on Snake Eyes

    by Tall_Boy66

    But at the end she's totally going at it with Ripcord. We didn't see Snake Eyes object the whole time, so they are definitely going to have a freaky-ninja-GI Joe-threeway. Got to get tough, YO JOE!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Howard the Duck and Willow

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Ron Howard directed Willow, and some other shit directed Howard. Notice how EVERYONE is supposed to hate Lucas but people still went to see Indy 4.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:09 p.m. CST

    Scarlett is a ho

    by lockesbrokenleg

    She flirts with everyone

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:10 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, "SHIT LIKE TAXI DRIVER"? WITH THAT PHRASE......

    by CarlThorMark1978

    You make everything you ever say or think about Cinema irrelevant. But then you also talk shit about Citizen Kane so why should I be surprised?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:11 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, PEOPLE ALSO WENT TO SEE TRANSFORMERS 2....

    by CarlThorMark1978

    There are plenty of morons in the world.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:11 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    Good GOD people!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe didn't bomb...

    by moto

    4th biggest August take. $100 million worldwide. While it's not going to be a $300 million hit, it's a good start for a franchise and a sequel will happen. The studio is very happy. I equate the film to the first X-Men. They did some things right, some things wrong (effects and some characters), etc. But those saying it's a bomb? No. It's not. Time will tell. We'll see what the drop is next weekend. I'm thinking it'll nab $25 million second weekend.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:19 p.m. CST

    I love all movies. I loved Star Trek Dark Knight

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Transformers 2, etc. I don't slam action movies like you, and then only praise pretentious shit. SNOB!!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:24 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, YOU.ARE.A.FUCKING.MORON!!!FACT!!!

    by CarlThorMark1978

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:25 p.m. CST

    Oh, so I'm a moron for hating Taxi Driver?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but a lot of people hate Taxi Driver. We even hate the Godfather movies.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:27 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    And I'm watching a double bill of Blood Feast and Corpse Grinders right fucking now you dumb cunt!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:30 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, SO, YOU DON'T LIKE.....

    by CarlThorMark1978

    Citizen Kane, Taxi Driver or the Godfather movies? From now on I'll assume that you are a 13 year old from the suburbs that listens to Eminem.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:31 p.m. CST

    People of all ages can like movies

    by lockesbrokenleg

    again, you're just looking for attention.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:35 p.m. CST

    Only Pretentious snobs thought Speed Racer was good

    by Tall_Boy66

    Generally most regular, normal thinking folk saw that movie for was it was: bad. It's about as good as GI Joe, with more lame than decent. Any movie that has Emile Hersh as a lead is just a terrible idea to begin with.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:50 p.m. CST

    solid but unspectacular box office

    by Bladerunner751

    100 million worldwide in 3 days isn't bad but it still needs to make over a hundred million dollars more worldwide for it to make a profit. A sequel is a certainty but not at 175m, most likely the budget will be around 140m.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    I am happy GI JOE made money

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Maybe we'll get a part 2 closer to the comics.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:01 p.m. CST


    by Kief_Ledger

    anyone who hates Taxi Driver, The Godfather movies, and Citizen Kane clearly has no fucking idea what a good movie is. Just avoid him. There's a reason every talkbacker on this site hates him.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Inglorious Basterds smells like a flop

    by Bladerunner751

    a heavily subtitled, two and a half hour dialogue fest...smells like another flop for Cokehead Quentin.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:04 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    Oh, yeah right. Damn, I forgot you are ane a following ass kisser.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:10 p.m. CST

    about 58 million in U.S. box office

    by thelordofhell

    If you saw this film and Transformers 2 this summer, you really need to shoot yourself, because you're pretty much a waste of space.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:20 p.m. CST

    You can't blame people for watching GI Joe.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Its the first movie since the 1987 movie, and trailers/tv spots feature a live action Snake Eyes flipping around badassly.<BR><BR> If the Voltron movie comes out, and trailers feature a huge lionbot kicking a ro-beasts butt, I'm prob gonna go watch it!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:28 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    Oh yeah, cause people that watched that shit Watchmen are SOOO much better.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 9:51 p.m. CST


    by thelordofhell

    Oh yeah, good call, I shall amend my previous statement. If you saw AND LIKE this film, Transformers 2, AND WATCHMEN you really need to shoot yourself, because you're pretty much a waste of space.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 10 p.m. CST

    I haven't seen this yet... but-

    by ToMonicker

    I might still, at a matinee... it's just not a desperate priority. I know several people who "wanted" to see this, but haven't yet, so, it might have legs yet with the gullible. Heh, heh. Tounge firmly placed in cheek. <b> I think we have a little Stockholm's Syndrome going on with Star Wars/Lucas. A bunch of us have loved Star Wars so long that we not so sure what to think of it anymore without that biasing us. <b> I didn't know GI JOE was $175 mil, and that does kind of seem steep for effects that looked pretty cheap in the trailers, and from reports, still look cheap in the finished product. WTF? Hey, I may have just talked myself out it!

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 10:11 p.m. CST

    Hating Taxi Driver/Godfather

    by GhostDad

    Is fairly common now with "grew up in the 90s and 2000s" crowd. There's a huge push towards abandoning Copolla, etc at film schools now by students who want to make millions directing popcorn flicks. The undergrads at USC especially embody this, as they either want to do The Matrix or Clerks with nothing inbetween (NYU is for all the kids who want to "save hollywood.") Personally, I think you need to understand one to do the other.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 10:22 p.m. CST

    I WAS BORN IN THE 70S!!!!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    FUCK OFF! I like Rocky. Taxi Driver Sscks, and Godfather 1 is really the only good one. I like movies from the 50s like War of the Worlds, etc. That is better than fucking Taxi Driver.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 10:28 p.m. CST


    by Kief_Ledger

    Right, because everyone who despises you is just following the tread, dumbass.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 10:29 p.m. CST

    If you hate me so much, why do you keep bitching

    by lockesbrokenleg

    at me.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Effects weren't as bad as everyone makes them sound

    by bullet3

    They're a bit cartoony, but it fits with the universe of the movie, and you never get taken out of the movie cause of them. The only really bad shots were the jets taking off and landing. I thought it looked bad in the trailers too, but somehow on the big screen and seen in context it looks fine.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:03 p.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg you need to shut up

    by Robots In Das Guys

    Bow down to Marty.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST

    Lockesbrokenleg, take your neo populist film-punk b.s.

    by Ace of Knaves

    and shove it up your ass,. I feel like Im betraying every one of my principles by saying this, but some things are beyond individual opinion, the general greatness of Citizen Kane, Taxi Driver, Godfather parts 1 and 2( 2 being not only as good as one, but clearly superior) . "Rocky" huh? So you must need every film thats not diversionary fantasy/action like Jaws and Star Wars to at least be "inspirational" and "feel good" or some gay shit like that, huh? Cant let any darkness in to break that fragile little mind of yours, huh?

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:35 p.m. CST

    Taxi Driver did SUCK.

    by StormTrooper6

    Both my girlfriend and I saw it and thought it was pretty lame. Same with Godfather 1. Haven't seen 2 or 3.. But to each their own. Some people here actualy liked WATCHMEN right. I have to say, Citizen Kane, Serpico, Butch Cassidy and the SUNDANCE KID are movies I just watched the last couple of years and think the world of them. Those are movies I can watch over and over.. but there are those that people say are classics and thats great for them. But people are film snobs when they say shit like "oh, you didn't like that movie, then you don't know whats good." Snobs and bithces I say.. pEOPLE KEPT TELLING ME i HAD TO see 2001: Space odysse.. Just saw it and it was just too damn long.. but close to being a perfect 10 n my book. Just saw JAWS and that was awesome. I heard DAVID FINCHER loved SPEED RACER too. Google it. He thinks we'll dig it in a few years. So.. does he know what he's talking about. oh..and FUCK THE OSCARS. tHEY DON'T MEAN SHIT.

  • Aug. 9, 2009, 11:42 p.m. CST

    what on earth is "lame" about the Godfather part one

    by Ace of Knaves

    I can see saying "overrated", yes, but "lame"? X-Men:Origins - Wolverine is a "lame" movie. The Godfather is perfectly written acted and directed. You liked Serpico, so you like Pacino, you can tolerate early 70s crime flicks, but the penultimate in both those areas you say is "lame"??? i could see if you have some severe hate/fear of the mafia that could upend your enjoyment of the film, or you suffered some serious mental defect (like being a girl or something) that prevents from truly appreciating great crime cinema, but you obviously seem to have some level of taste, so please elaborate, how is one of the most flawless pieces of American film ever crafted, "lame"?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:11 a.m. CST

    ACE of Knaves

    by StormTrooper6

    Don't have the time right this sec. But you are right. I actually never really like Mafia typ films. I do love SCAREFACE.. but tahats about it. I hated RAGING BULL too.. but that is one I plan to give a second chence. I;m working now. PEACE.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:16 a.m. CST

    You guys had to go and Serpentor up the tb, didn't you?

    by Shermdawg

    God damn.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:20 a.m. CST


    by Robots In Das Guys

    How can you not like Taxi Driver? Fucking Taxi Driver? The GODFATHER?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:22 a.m. CST


    by Robots In Das Guys

    You hated Raging Bull? What a fucking cunt. Oh, but you are planning to "give it a second chence" ???? Fuck off, you dumb fuck.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:53 a.m. CST

    You're debating classic movie love/hate on AICN?

    by thelordofhell

    This is the site that worships MONSTER SQUAD for Christ's sake.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:02 a.m. CST

    Yeh Stormy, i was willing to give you a chance to explain

    by Ace of Knaves

    But you hate Raging Bull ? You like Scarface though? (which you even misspell by the way) Scarface, one of the schlockiest, campiest, ugliest, tackiest, pieces of ultra violent trash (its entertaining, i do enjoy it, but come on), that's your favorite crime flick?No one except rappers and douchy adolescents actually takes that film seriously, Pacino's iconic performance and delivery nonwithstanding. Do you have something against beautifully shot, scored and edited films? you must be young and have a super short attention span , something. I mean opinions are opinions, but i mean there is such a thing as bad taste.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Whenever I hear about movies like Taxi Driver

    by lockesbrokenleg

    and Scarface and River's Edge, being good, I always watch them, but then I end up just not liking them, and they bore the hell out of me. How can you people watch that tripe all day?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:04 a.m. CST

    People here don't like Citizen Kane. Dont like BIG LOB...

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    It all makes sense now...

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:53 a.m. CST

    If you don't like Taxi Driver, you don't like tits either....

    by ass clown

    Go ahead and enjoy your big explosion ADHD shitfests. Any man that compares GI Joe or Transformers to Godfather or Taxi Driver should have his balls cut off. If you don't have an appreciation for art like the Godfather, then you dont have an appreciation for life.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:03 a.m. CST

    WTF Lockesbrokenleg... How do you find Scarface boring?

    by ass clown

    I am confused. I am 26 years old and I feel like I've already lost touch with the world. Anyone that can watch Scarface and then call it boring must be either a devout Christian,a man devoid of a brain, or perhaps Hellen Keller herself. It frustrates me and i dont even know why. Go watch Bad Boys 2, go watch Transformers, Go support Indy IV.... Just dont expect me to think of you as anything but a douche bag

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:19 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    For me it depends on what mood I am in. For example, if I had the Citizen Kane dvd in one hand and Jackie Chan's Rush Hour dvd in the other hand right now, I'd put in Rush Hour...because it's 4am right now and I'd rather watch Jackie Chan flying around. I would never argue that Rush Hour is the superior film though. There is a distinction between what I like to watch at the moment in good fun, and what I respect as classic.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:50 a.m. CST

    Saw it tonight. Not bad, not great.

    by ganymede3010

    They did a really good job with all of the advance tech and weaponry. Marlon Wayans wasn't as bad as I thought he'd be. The visual effects confused the fuck out of me. One second they looked great, the next second they looked like shit. How can that possibly happen with a 175 million dollar budget? Everything was good in this movie but the dialogue. It was cheesy but not rip your eyes out cheesy. All in all I give it 2 thumbs up, it was better then T4, ROTF and Origins.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 4:08 a.m. CST

    Down for a sequel!

    by motormouth_1217

    I mean what was bad was universillay paned and what was good was generally liked, They did end on a good cliffhanger even though they dropped the ball with the Barronness's story line. They should not have had her try to help Duke but have her try to help CC and Destro get away; but like I said they set it up for a sequel and it will get big business on DVD, so maybe they can salvage what was good and get rid of what was bad. I'd see it again at full price.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 4:27 a.m. CST

    Not as fun as advertised.

    by estacado1

    Some sequences were cool, but overall, not very engaging. The best part was the nanosuits in Paris, other than that, we learned that Cobra uses Norton Anti-virus, the nanobots for some reason behave like nuclear material where the have spin in centrifuges to "weaponize" them, and Cobra aircraft controls are voice activated in Celtic language. The best thing story-wise is how they showed Cobra Commander became who he is. First you thought he is this guy, but then you thought, no, it's that guy, but in the end it's this guy becomes the commander.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 4:55 a.m. CST

    They actually said "Celtic language?"

    by Dingbatty

    Which one? The screenwriters must be complete morons if they think there is only one Celtic language and it is named "Celtic."

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 6:15 a.m. CST

    That was enjoyable fluff

    by Shpadoinkle

    It's all a bit like Star Wars in it's approach and execution. Not saying it'd ever be anything as iconic, but if I were a kid i'd think GI Joe was amazing. The kind of universe you could lose yourself in. I know better now, and what I saw was little more than a jammed up spectacle, but it awakened the kid in me. Good job Sommers. It's still not as cool as Deep Rising though, keep trying.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:19 a.m. CST

    re lockesbrokenleg

    by DocPazuzu


  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Sequel News: Tomax/Xamot, Dreadnoks, and Cobra Island?

    by mdrudge

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:49 a.m. CST

    GI Joe much better than Transformers 2.

    by W3bzpinn3r

    GI Joe was 100X better than Transformers 2. It didn't resort to crude humor. It didn't require a doped-up mother blathering stupidly. No racist robots. No brainless "search for the artifact" chase. GI Joe was a Saturday morning cartoon brought to life. It was action-packed fun. A bunch of stereotypical action heroes (The perfect soldier, the ninja, the hot girl w/ guns, and the funny black man) brought together to fight the stereotypical "Bond" villains (evil business man, mad scientist, evil ninja, aristocrat in leather). The special effects were hit and miss, but hey, this is all based on a cartoon where no one could hit an opponent soldier with a gun standing 3 feet away! I was immensely satisfied with it, and came away breathless, as opposed to Transformers 2, where I came out of the theater bored, angry, and feeling like I wasted $40 on nothing.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 8:30 a.m. CST

    I liked it at the end when they attacked the Death Star

    by davida4348

    But why did the ice sink?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Ice Sinking Plan

    by mdrudge

    The reason that they sunk the ice demonstrates that the movie Cobra Commander will be as incompetent as the cartoon Cobra Commander.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 8:47 a.m. CST

    I had a great time watching this movie...

    by turketron_2

    The insane over the top action, the ridiculous over the top villains who constantly talked to each other with holographic projections, the endless amount of eye gouges, the exploding heads, the LAST PIECE OF DOUBLE BUBBLE (give it here), the robotic spy fish, Cobra Commander's maniacal laugh at the end, and the way that everyone in this movie looked like they were having a great time making it. I'll be there for the sequel, as long as it's like this one.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah, and young snake eyes vs. young stormshadow

    by turketron_2

    Was fucking GREAT. I hear that the kid who was young stormshadow is the kid villain from Tropic Thunder.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Fun movie. Rickey liked it.

    by Rickey Henderson

    This was a fun summer romp. Not a fantastic flick (as if any of us was expecting "2001") but still very entertaining. Rickey enjoyed it a helluva lot more than that Transformers disaster. G.I. Joe definitely did capture the spirit of the original Saturday morning cartoon franchise. They really nailed the feel of all the gadgets, the Joe headquarters, and the action. Hasbro should be taking notes. This is how you adapt a cartoon show.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Go Joe

    by David Assholehoff

    Haters should relax a little and try to be less critical of movies like this. Hello? It was made to be an action flick based on a cartoon. Laurence of Arabia is it not. Admit it, you all loved Road House, Point Break, Time Cop, etc. All cheesy B action flicks that just go from opening credits until end credits. I enjoyed this. It felt a little souless in spots, but it was fun. I also did enjoy Speed Racer. Cheesy fun.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Oh, how we all forgot about T4: Salvation

    by shutupfanboy

    To me that was the worst film this year and will not make back its production. G.I. Joe will fall in that same category, but their merchandising maybe save it, maybe. Watchman's DVD sells will make it profitable and they still haven't released the ultimate edition, yet. I still enjoyed parts of G.I. Joe and Transformers, but the DVDs had better be banging. The first TF DVD was utter garbage.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:07 a.m. CST

    G.I. Joke SUX!!!

    by mitortilla

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:10 a.m. CST

    This was a far worse childhood raping than trannyformers

    by mitortilla

    at least they didn't make starscream optimus primes' ex-lover who was brainwashed and is actually good.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:13 a.m. CST

    GI Joe > Transformers 2

    by skimn

    But it doesn't take much for that distinction. Sommers dialed it down a slight hair from the wildly overdone Van Helsing, which is a good thing. The opening firefight was frenetic and well done, with the vehicles 'sploding all over the place. I really enjoyed the Paris sequence, because the special effects integrated well with the action, and as impossibly goofy as the accelerator suits are, they worked in this context. And the action was well staged and edited, not the usual bombastic Bayfest. But as the plot continued and the flashbacks became more intrusive, I grew, believe it or not, bored. The underwater siege, well, was a digitized underwater battle. And if I see one more shot of a character standing in a room, then the "camera" zooms out to show the exterior....I will scream. I'd give it a 5 out of 10.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    The "like playing with your toys as a kid" metaphor is accurate

    by turketron_2

    As a kid playing with toys, when stuff got blown up or whatever it would inevitably get flung into some other toy causing more destruction. That happened a lot in this movie and it was awesome. Hell, there was a part where a neo viper got blown up and flung up onto some electrical shit and electrocuted! A neo viper who was set on fire and staggering around had his head blown up by a grenade! Shit like that made me love this movie.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Re: Cobra Commanders helmet

    by Wrath

    Just saw an interview with Sommers. He says the classic mirrored helmet will show up in part 2.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST

    T4 made around 370 million worldwide

    by Bladerunner751

    i'd say it more than made back its production budget.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Lets get this straight

    by GetEveryone

    The ones debating the quality of confirmed classics, both sides, are douches.<P>People are entitled to their opinions, though those opinions should be backed up.<P>The prick that started on about the quality of The Godfather and then called out whoever enjoyed Watchmen can fuck off. It may not be perfect, ala the crime-epic, but its got a lot of filmaking finesse. In terms of the writing, direction, editing and acting, there is a lot to give merit for.<P>Fuck sake...

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Taxi Driver is hardly the easiest fucking watch.

    by GetEveryone

    Not that I didn't enjoy it.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:03 a.m. CST

    classic mirrored helmet

    by cyberskunk

    That's good news, Wrath. Thanks.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Simply awful.

    by knowthyself

    Hated it.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:10 a.m. CST


    by knowthyself

    AT LAST I AM A MCCULLEN! Who wrote this shit?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Classic mirrored helmet? now THAT'S cool news, Wrath

    by turketron_2

    Is there a link to the interview with Sommers?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:16 a.m. CST

    we want realistic dialogue from OVER THE TOP VILLAINS

    by turketron_2

    ...RIGHT GUYS?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:21 a.m. CST

    This film is like taking the ugly girl to prom.

    by knowthyself

    I guess you can settle if you want. Good luck.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:23 a.m. CST has the interview with Sommers

    by Bladerunner751

    He kinda confirms the mirror mask for the sequel.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST

    I don't understand "cartoon brought to life"....

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Is that really a good thing?<BR> Again, there was an episode I recall were Cobra and GI Joe teamed up to stop kids from doing drugs! And remember the Funhouse episode? Yes, as a 7AM weekday morning cartoon it was cool as were other episodes...but I dont want a PG-13 live action GI Joe return to be simply the "cartoon brought to life"...dont you want, um, more than that?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:16 p.m. CST

    This fucking turd gets a sequel?

    by donkey_lasher

    It has been Panned outside the U.S. I'm putting this firmly behind Transformers 2 and Wolverine. In that order. Shit Harry, you must have seen some SHITE before you saw this to make it feel good.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    TF2 > Wolverine > GIJOE > T4

    by knowthyself

    In that order.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:38 p.m. CST


    by David Assholehoff

    Well, the "ugly girl" usually gives the best head. :-)

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Mirror mask on Cobra Commander? YES!!!!!!!!!

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Awesome news! I always loved Cobra Commander's mirror mask better than the hood.<BR> I just figured that they would refuse the mirror mask because it completely lacked facial features (lips on Snake Eyes made me think they REALLY wanted facial features).<BR> But awesome to hear they may be going for the mirror mask.<BR> Now all they need is to make Destro muscular!

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Who sends a 19 year old kid to the Island of No Return?!

    by _V_

    Who sends a 19 year old kid to the Island of No Return?! Oh god, I was only 19...

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:48 p.m. CST


    by mitortilla

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:51 p.m. CST

    and if the ugly girl is a freak and DOWN TO FUCK

    by turketron_2

    Then yeah, maybe you could say that this movie is like taking the ugly girl to prom. At least you're guaranteed to have a good time without it feeling like a waste of money...

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 12:54 p.m. CST

    No way in fuck were TF2 or Wolverine better than GI Joe

    by turketron_2

    Might be a toss-up with T4, but I enjoyed GI Joe much more than T4. Wolverine was shit and TF2 was excruciatingly groan inducing.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:08 p.m. CST


    by GetEveryone

    Both T4 and Watchmen made back their production costs and more on their theatrical runs.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:44 p.m. CST

    This was only good..

    by lprothro

    If you're an elementary school student...and a mildly retarded one at that. And does anyone know why the President had a British accent? I guess they're a little more lax on that whole "U.S citizenship" thing in the "near future". Good news for Arnold I guess...

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:54 p.m. CST

    How did this make money and Fantastic Four bomb?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    They're the same mpvie.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:57 p.m. CST

    by the new transported man

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Fantastic Four didn't bomb

    by Bladerunner751

    it got a sequel. The movie was terrible though.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 1:59 p.m. CST

    This movie was shit.

    by the new transported man

    Cobra Commander turned into a snake & partnered up with...Roadblock? Snake Eyes missing from like 90% of the movie? Lt. Falcon can bring a date into a secured military facility? That animation wasn't work $150MM or whatever they spent. Fail.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Attention: Thelordofhell

    by seagrass

    Actually, you're the one who should be shot - for passing judgment on people who enjoyed the movie. Arrogant fuckhead. I love how these talkbacks really bring out the douchebags who think they know what's best for everyone. Seriously...go suck a tailpipe and end yourself.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:17 p.m. CST

    T4 > TF2 = Wolverine > GI Joe

    by Tall_Boy66

    And Star Trek and Up are better than all of them.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Um, I enjoyed all the movies I saw this year

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Trek, Terminator, Transformers, Watchmen Director's Cut. This I can wait for the DVD.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Wasnt bad, and for those saying "flop"...

    by IamTheRealGuyThatTalksAboutRealThingsYouSayStupidStuff

    This was not as bad as many are making this out to be. It WAS fun. Why is the term "it was fun" getting slack?..and for those saying flop...55mil opening week+10mil through the week+25mil next weekend+ 5-7mil the next week+10-12mill next weekend+3-4that week+ roughly 10 mill combined for the other weekends, and another 12-15 combined during the week days...this movie will cruise to 140-150ish 120-150 million internationally...close to ancillary markets...a sequel is more than guaranteed, where they will hopefully fix some of the issues you crazy cynical shits are whining about.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Wolverine > TF2 surely

    by savagedave

    Granted it was a let down but at least it wasn't as moronic as Bayformers 2: Revenge of the Shitty 8 Year Old Toilet Humour

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 2:54 p.m. CST

    My rankings.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Here's the order in which I enjoyed movies (of the top of my head so it may change as I think about it). <BR><BR> 1. Up<BR> 2. Star Trek<BR> 3. Crank 2<BR> 4. The Taking of Pelham<BR> 5. T4<BR> 6. Transformers 2<BR> 7. GI Joe<BR> 8. Wolverine<BR> 9. Underworld<BR> 10. Fast & Furious<BR> 11. The Legend of Chun-Li<BR> 12. Dragonball Evolution<BR> <BR> Why is Crank so high up? Cause I had a blast watching it. Previously, I wouldnt have thought I would enjoy it more than T4 either.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:01 p.m. CST

    There was no doubt in my mind GI Joe would make money.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    In my opinion, the scenes of Snake Eyes flipping around pretty much ensured audiences. The rest of the movie could have been Ripcord dancing the macarena...people were going to buy tickets....this was the big return for GI Joe. <BR><BR> The question is sustainability. Yes, part 2 is probably ensured...but doesnt the studio want parts 3 and 4 too? Can they keep going with movies that rank around 30% on rottentomatoes? (We cant all be Transformers) In my opinion, part 2 must be significantly better and way more badass...and have a much stronger GI Joe vibe to satisfy all those that went "wtf" at parts of this movie.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:04 p.m. CST

    it was reported today

    by armando

    A GI JOE part 2 is in the works! over 100 mil worldwide so far.. A decent start.. Cobraaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST

    what do you guys want to see in the next movie?

    by armando

    The Joe Team Lady Jaye Shipwreck Stalker Quick Kick and Flint For Cobra Firefly, The Drednoks, Major blood, Xamot and Tomax

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:08 p.m. CST


    by armando

    New Joes I would like to see: Lady Jaye, Shipwreck, Stalker, Quick Kick, and Flint. New Cobra team members: Firefly, The Drednoks, Major blood, Xamot and Tomax

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:13 p.m. CST

    TF 2 was fucking better than Wolverine.

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Anyone see Rachel Nichols on Jimmy Kimmel?

    by strosmer

    She's gone for the bulemic super thin chic look and now her tits look like they belong on a 60 year old woman! Note to all Hollywood actresses, when you get too thin, either your boobs waste away, or your head gets freakishly out of proportion (ala Christina Ricci). Leave a little flesh on them bones, please! You're making a run on my spank bank!

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Fucking World

    by shutupfanboy

    People bitch about American's bad taste then you assholes go ahead and make a terrible movie into profit. At least in the states we had the decency to stay away from T4. I though all of you were at Cannes jacking off the new anti-American, pro-europe director. God, you non-Americans suck!

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST

    child molesters are the only ones that don't like the movie.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Well, we know British TV sucks ass

    by lockesbrokenleg

    They've been watching the same soaps for 100 years,

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:31 p.m. CST

    and everyone but me is a moe rong

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 3:36 p.m. CST

    GI Joe sequel has been confirmed

    by Bladerunner751

    Paramount vice chairman Rob Moore told the LA Times that a sequel will soon go into production and that all of the main actors are under contract for two more films but director Stephen Sommers is not.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Shutupfanboy again...

    by GetEveryone<P>Foreign, as in the rest of the world, comprises hundreds of countries. America alone drew in half the gross of the rest of the world<P>I'm not questioning America. Only you.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Japan invented Anime

    by lockesbrokenleg

    That has to be worse than fucking GI JOE.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 5:02 p.m. CST

    The more I reflect back on this movie the more I like it.

    by ganymede3010

    Still not saying it's great. Just allot of things in this movie were very pleasing to the eye.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 5:15 p.m. CST

    People: stop with run on sentence poster handles!

    by Orbots Commander

    Keep it pithy and short, for crying out loud. It was novel the first time, now everyone maroon is doing it too and it's tiresome.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 5:29 p.m. CST

    The sequel will be GI JOE IN SPACE!!!

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Unless they make the sequel more GIJoe-ish

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    I cant imagine people being anticipating the sequel as they were this one. I have friends vowing never to watch another one. But they can probably be brought back if the sequel is more GI Joe.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Attention: seagrass

    by thelordofhell

    I guess you saw and liked all three of those movies and you don't have a gun :-). Might I suggest you go out Carradine style.....naked, tied up in a closet, hand around your junk, semen stains on your hand, junk and carpet. Or maybe Jackson style....doped up to the gills yelling at Lou Ferrigno to take you to hospital, only to have the last thing you hear being, "What?? What?? I'm DEAF you asshole!!" And if you STILL somehow think I'm being serious on a G.I. Joe talkback then I got a knock, knock joke for you........Knock, Knock......Who's there?.....GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 5:54 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 6:32 p.m. CST

    GI Joe

    by TonyStarkIronMan

    I can't believe this. Has everyone been hit by fucking bozo-rays? I would rather see my cock, rotting and pus-dripping, falling off my lap than see GI Joe again, or a sequel. It would be like making a sequel to AIDS. Would you want that on your conscience? Christ. It is easily the worst film of the decade.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Better than wolverine

    by Colin62

    Its also better than transformers. This is not to say it's a good film. But they featured main characters as main characters not supporting cast (like transformers). And the action is not dull bullshit (like wolverine). And gijoe didn't prove beyond all doubt that improved computer graphics technology and a douche director with an cute little MTV nickname can't replace original story and competent film-making (T-4). Might be the best B movie this year.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:03 p.m. CST

    RE: Lips on Snake Eyes

    by Logan_1973

    To me, the lips were a smart touch to add depth to the character: the lips are there if he chooses to use them. It certainly adds another dimension and makes for intriguing further development. Certainly gives a lot more to think about than just making him a mute. <p> And don't tell me it shouldn't have been that way just b/c of a comic. Pointless argument.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:05 p.m. CST

    Lady Jaye will be played by:

    by Logan_1973

    Sienna Miller. She shuns the Baroness thing, becomes a Joe, and walla: Lady Jaye.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:33 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

    Icebreaker, Herpes, Swine Flu, etc

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:46 p.m. CST

    Hell, Blankman was better than Origins.

    by ganymede3010

    You really have to suck ballz to fuck up a Wolverine movie.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:57 p.m. CST

    TF2 > TRANSMORPHERS...but only just

    by savagedave

    In fact fuck it, its not. At least TRANSMORPHERS had lesbians.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 7:57 p.m. CST


    by seagrass

    That's a typical Saturday night for me, actually. Oh, and quit quoting Agent Hanratty.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:10 p.m. CST

    The Baroness

    by Larkwander


  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Yeah, that Baroness twist was gawd-fucking-awful

    by Tall_Boy66

    To the people who thought this movie was good - were you emotionally invested in that Baroness twist? did it enrich your experience in any sort of way?

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:42 p.m. CST

    just watched it- really liked it!

    by darthwaz1

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 10:43 p.m. CST

    just watched it- really liked it!

    by darthwaz1

    I thought it was a perfect tribute to the cartoon. Some things were off obviously (Hawk was dressed as Flint) and Baroness turning good?? but overall very enjoyable for a fan of the cartoon. But Resolute was def better...

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST

    Channing Tatum

    by rollnstns

    Might be the worst actor I've ever seen. He and this movie raped my childhood, and promised they'd be back when i was an adult. All I can do is wait, and hope for lube next time.

  • Aug. 10, 2009, 11:47 p.m. CST

    Thought this was cool

    by Adelai Niska

    honestly one of the best "big" movies this year. Not a classic or anything, but better than either Transformers 1 or 2, or Wolverine, or many other movies. Wasn't exactly intellectual, but it was worth my two hours. <p> to the guy was WAY too devoted to the comics and complained that "Scarlet was the villiage bicycle"-- at what point in the movie did she sleep with ANYONE, let alone several people? They make it very clear that she's pretty frigid so how did you ever come to that conclusion?

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 12:21 a.m. CST

    Who wouldn't sleep with Scarlett?

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 12:35 a.m. CST

    100 MIL Worldwide. Gotdamn!

    by Dreadlock Holmes

    GibsonUSA! Where is your god now??

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 12:39 a.m. CST

    sorry GibsonUSA

    by deucefilms

    Seeing your summer rankings, it looks like you threw away about $80 over the last 3 months. The average RottenTomatoes score of films #5-12 on your list is 25.6%. So, sadly, at 40%, G.I. Joe was one of the "better" films you paid to see this summer. The makers of Dragonball Z and The Legend of Chun Li are probably eager to adopt you, since this is the only time in the history of cinema that either of those movies will make it onto anything resembling a "top" 12 list. I read your list and promptly removed Fast & Furious from my Netflix queue. If it's actually WORSE than TF2, G.I. Joe, Underworld, T4 AND Wolverine, then it must be pretty rancid and thank you for saving me 2 hours of my life. It's not too late for you to save your moviegoing summer. Movies like The Hurt Locker, The Hangover, 500 Days of Summer and Funny People are still playing in theaters (plus, that little District 9 movie coming out this weekend is supposed to be good), and I hear that, unlike T4, TF2, Wolverine and G.I. Joe, they don't cater to the criminally stupid. GibsonUSA, just giving you hell. That top 12 list cracked me up. Following the scores on those movies, going from 1 to 12, was like following the Dow on Black Monday. Hope you make it out to see some better flicks this summer. There are some really good movies out there right now that are more deserving of your hard-earned dollars, instead of the overly-inflated bullshit that seems to be raking in piles of money yet leaving people completely disappointed.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 1:07 a.m. CST

    Marlon Wayans deserves an Oscar

    by Requiem4aJerk09

    for his great and heroic feats. He looked nanomites in their eyes and maintained "A Real American Hero" courage in the face of danger. Zartan was the epitome of cool.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 2:20 a.m. CST

    not good

    by Iceman32_89

    <P> but not bad either.There was some WTF moments in it but I think that's because I grew up with the toys,comics and cartoon but if I were a young kid not having any of that prior knowledge I would probably think this was kinda cool.</P> <p> As for the sequel,I know they won't do this but instead of adding additional chracters I think it would great to see a new Joe team deal with Cobra.Keep the core Joe team of Duke,Scarlet and Snake Eyes but bring in Shipwreck,Flint or Alpine or any other member of team and on the Cobra side Tomax and Xamot with the Crimson Gaurd might be a good addition and hell bring in the B.A.T.s let the joes gun them down </P>

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 2:48 a.m. CST

    They're trying to fool us with the Baroness twist.

    by ganymede3010

    Once it's all said and done. She'll be left to rot in prision. And she's gonna be pissed especially after helping the JOE's defeat Cobra. So once the big prison breakout scene happens in GIJOE 2, we'll see Destro, Cobra Commander and the Baroness rescued by Storm Shadow and company.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 4:41 a.m. CST


    by thelordofhell

    Catch Me If You that was a good movie. Amy Adams was a smokin' hot nurse. I think Carradine was picturing her in that nurse uniform before he died.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Fuck you people for seeing this movie...

    by rbatty024

    and insuring that there will be plenty of sequels to clog up our cinemas in the years to come. You have done your country a disservice.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 9:21 a.m. CST

    GI Joe movie was plain horrible, thanks CarlThorMark1978

    by paulyd30

    I rather watch robot chicken than stupid , horrible, lame GI Joe movie. Marlon Waynes ruined this movie for me. He should stick to roles like in the masterpiece "white chicks"

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 10:20 a.m. CST

    2012 cant come fast enough

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    40 years ago we put a man on the moon, we now spend 200m producing utter crap like this and TF2, we (human race) are like Britney, we have already peaked.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST

    GI JOE: The Musical

    by D.Vader

    With Henry Rollins as Duke and Julianne Moore as Scarlett. Vinnie Jones is Destro and Olivia-Wilde is a hotter-than-Sienna-Miller Baroness. <p> <p>

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 11:29 a.m. CST

    people-I WILL END THIS

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    THIS MOVIE SUCKED ASS!It was plain awful.The 2 two redeeming parts>? The aceelaerator suit scenes-I REALLY dug that-it was done fairly well, and thought it was excitig.And Zartan-i udnno..i liked him.Thought it was cool.But, thats it.The movie had tons of dodgy effects, LAME-ASS DIALOGUE-and Tatum channing sucks ass-that guy can't act(and i was happy when I heard he was cast, having juat A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR OWN SAINTS"...people..this shit is the WORST film this summer.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 11:35 a.m. CST

    MASK: The Movie in production!

    by BigGoozoo

    Starring Gimli as Miles Mayhem and Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of T-Bob.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns

    by Stalkeye

    You actually enjoyed SF the legend of chun li and DB Evolution?!?<p>I think you must have seriously took one on the head courtesy of Big lob's B-Ball.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Who has seen Hurt Locker? *Spoilers*

    by ToMonicker

    Okay, I saw this last week, and I thought it was pretty damn good, but... there was one part that seemed kind of off the rails, and I wonder if anybody else felt the same way? The part were James goes all solo commando into IRAQ, seemed like a totally different movie. Up to that point, I felt the movie was pretty consistent with it's almost psuedo-doc-style action, even when he leads his team off site of a bomb investigation to find the badguys. As much as he came off as a cowboy, I had serious doubts he would go by himself, pulling a stunt like say, Bruce Willis in his heyday. Thoughts? Bueller?

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Legend of Chun-Li is a better film than GI Joe

    by Tall_Boy66

    Okay, they're both bad movies. However, when Chun-Li is being bad, it's very entertaingly bad. (aside: to compare the two Street Fighter flicks, the Van Damne one is bad like a cartoon, the Smallville chick street fighter movie is bad like a lame cop drama). ANYWAY, when GI Joe is bad... it's just bad. The fact that GI Joe has fits of genuniely good and enertaining stuff (the snake eyes/storm shadow fights, the accelerator suit scenes, any line that Jospeh Gordon-Levitt says) makes it's overall lameness even worse because there's fits and spurts of genunie good entertainment in there. But when Chun-Li is so bad that it's good because it never quite seems to be screwing itself over in quality. The movie can never be any better than it already is. It just maintains such a level of bad that it's consistent, and therefore funnier, and therefore better than GI Joe.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    D. Vader

    by thelordofhell

    If THAT was the cast for G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra, I would have been first in line to see it. Olivia Wilde is SMOKIN' hot as the Baroness

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 3:41 p.m. CST

    I enjoyed DB Evolution?

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    It was at the bottom of my list.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 3:47 p.m. CST

    I was just ranking the "fun" movies I watched...

    by GibsonUSA Returns order of enjoyment. <BR>I thought Dragonball was pretty much horrible. Van Damme's Street Fighter is actually better than the new one.<BR> As for Fast & Furious, I was just never into the series. This was the first one I watched in theaters. It was okaaay, but just not my type of movie. The list wasnt a list of movies I thought were awesome, simply a ranking of movies I watched.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 3:51 p.m. CST

    GI JOE: The Musical! Har!

    by ToMonicker

    Hey, it's the Gilmore Girl as Lady J! Saucy. Destro & the Baroness were the funniest part in my opinion... and yeah, Olivia Wilde, meow!

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Posts getting deleted on this TB?

    by GetEveryone

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 4 p.m. CST

    Second false alarm I've had.

    by GetEveryone

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Hey RBatty204...

    by IndyCollector

    I've seen G.I. Joe TWICE. What the fuck are you going to do about it, faggot?

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 5:45 p.m. CST

    I really wanted to HATE the Chun Li flick...

    by Immortal_Fish

    ...but I have to say that Edmund Chen and Robin Shou were welcome surprises that elevated my interest somewhat.<P>Oh, sure, it was a horrible movie that I never intend to watch again. Never will understand why this property isn't adapted along the lines of Blood Sport or Enter the Dragon. Why make it out to be more than it is? At least the movie didn't make Kreuk look absolutely horrible at wire-fu. Many scenes were shot rather well. They put her in blue with her hair up (at only one point, unfortunately) and had her pull off a few signature moves. Plus, there was a clever camera trick involving the Balrog and Bison characters with a pair of "heavy bags." And I dug every scene Chen was in. Overall, it was better than it deserved to be, which really isn't saying all that much in the first place, BTW.<P>And pay no heed to Stalkeye there, Gibson. Since you didn't mention, I don't think he picked up that you meant your list was for this year's movies only. Yeah, I'd have to agree that SF would make my list for the same reason, but only because it is a reflection of the horrible offerings this year. I loved the hell out of Crank 2 also, which is saying something since I didn't care much for the first flick. And I urge you to consider Drag Me to Hell. It wasn't great, but it's one of the better PG13 horror movies I've seen in a long while.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Re: Drag Me To Hell, damn straight!

    by ToMonicker

    One of the better PG-13 Horror flicks, indeed! Funny and entertaining with a Twilight Zone morality at the end, sorta.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Damn kids anyway

    by lepfan84

    Do any of you really take summer movies this serious? I am probably the only one on this message board that was old enough to have seen "The Spy Who Loved Me" in the theatres. And everyone bashed on it, from the soundtrack to the special effects and blah, blah blah. Fast forward 25 years, and here we are at a another summer popcorn movie. Doesn't anybody realize these types of movies are so we can all forget about the real world for a bit? I for one thought the concept was "so so", I mean GI Joe? The dolls were cool about a hundred years ago! I guess the animated show was ok, but like the Transformers, it is just a fresh idea to revitalize to entertain us. I liked what I saw after taking the alone time to go see this. To make up a conversation about it afterward would have consisted of "Cool Exo Suits huh?" Lets move on and hope that we get more of these same types of movies in the future.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 6:20 p.m. CST

    Better then TF2 and Wolverine combined

    by Phategod2

    The movie was not great at all. Barely passable, but the story was somewhat cohesive and the last action sequence seemed like it was inspired by Star Wars, or Return of the Jedi; So I give it points for that over TF2 last scene of massive clusterfucktitude and Wolverines yawn inducing/WTF is this stupid shit moments.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 6:24 p.m. CST

    @ ToMonicker

    by Phategod2

    I thought it went off the rails especially since there was no closure he never finds or resolves anything, But one thing I think that guy should play Thor no doubt.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 7:06 p.m. CST

    I saw this today, and it was bloody good!!

    by laguna_loire

    The action was breathtaking (and I could actually follow it), and it was an awesome Stephen Sommers film. And unlike TF2 or Wolverine it stayed the course without selling short or straying off to unneeded plot threads. Why is it that people that haven't seen it are so quick to judge? I mean, everyone's struck-up interest over the World of Warcraft movie, but that may well turn out to be a pile of shite!!

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 7:16 p.m. CST

    Ballad of G.I. Joe

    by cyberskunk

    Thanks for posting that. I found it was interesting in showing G.I. Joe characters as normal people with normal concerns or hobbies outside their working hours and gave me a feeling of pathos.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 7:51 p.m. CST

    Indycollector, you know what I'm going to do?

    by rbatty024

    I'm going to implore you to go see the exquisite Hurt Locker or the underrated Public Enemies. Those movies need your cash. Don't worry, GI Joe will still be waiting for you on DVD.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 8:05 p.m. CST


    by IndyCollector


  • Aug. 11, 2009, 8:32 p.m. CST

    lepfan84, ::sigh:: well, you asked

    by Immortal_Fish

    "Do any of you really take summer movies this serious?"<P> Where exactly, is the harm in doing that? Especially once you consider that the source material might mean something to someone. And, no, not the "30-minute toy commercials" but the monthly periodicals called comics. And, yeah, while that medium may be inappropriately maligned (IMO), the comic source was Shakespeare by comparison with the cartoon. You may disagree, but that would be subjective at the very best, yes?<P> "I am probably the only one on this message board that was old enough to have seen "The Spy Who Loved Me" in the theatres."<P> You aren't.<P> "And everyone bashed on it, from the soundtrack to the special effects and blah, blah blah."<P> Sure you aren't confusing that flick with Octopussy or Moonraker? After all, it was Moore's first stab.<P> But you make my point. There were tons of Fleming fans that hated to see what their beloved property devolved into. From THEIR perspective (i.e. not yours) specifically. Why should they be silenced at best or marginalized at least?<P> "Fast forward 25 years, and here we are at a another summer popcorn movie."<P> And while prophecy is propagated, you perpetuate the phenomena.<P> "Doesn't anybody realize these types of movies are so we can all forget about the real world for a bit?"<P> Of course all fantasy is escapism. That doesn't excuse it from needing to be engaging. It is this that separates the first Godzilla from its many sequels.<P> Do you read? If so, do you read to be engaged or do you read to be merely entertained? Why does the inclusion of your ears dampen the need for cerebral engagement? "I for one thought the concept was "so so", I mean GI Joe? The dolls were cool about a hundred years ago!"<P> I've asked this of the apologists before -- Why would someone invest $175mil to make a crappy movie simply because the source material was (allegedly) crappy too? Why not elevate the movie above the source material given the budget to do so?<P> "Lets move on and hope that we get more of these same types of movies in the future."<P> Or, let's engage the source material and get some deep shit like Dark Knight or some sublime surprises like the Crow, or at least some offshoot wacky surprises like the Mask. I could go on, but you know where I'm going. Some folks in my circle were surprised to know that History Of Violence was based on a comic, FWIW.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    This may sound like a plant...

    by bishopfan85

    but why would it be when the movie already made it's 100 mil? I saw the movie yesterday and as cheesey as the effects were and as bad as the acting is, my inner child loved this movie. Missing was any type of "that was cool" moment throughout the entire film. Summers simply isn't and has never been a great action director (The Mummy 2 was the only movie I ever fell asleep watching in a theatre)but somehow the film overall felt like G.I. Joe the way I would envision a live action movie would be made in the 90's. It reminded me of going into see the live action Ninja Turtles movie. Thinking as a kid, how could this cartoon actually be a movie? Live??? A little more graphic than the cartoon but certainly yanked the characters off of the page and onto the screen. Everyone took a very basic choice in their charactes delievery and I think the fact that they all were on the same page made it work. Cobra Cammander was fun to watch, the Joe's were a good unit chemistry-wise. The shots of the background actors watching the battle on the screen was just hilairous as noone looked like "the best of the best" of anyone's military. It was just a goofy movie that didn't take itself too seriously but wasn't a total joke either. I actually would deem this franchise worthy and look forwad to at least one sequel although there is no character that I can think of that I look forward to seeing that wasn't already put in this one. I don't think that Serpentor wouldn't be necessary and the most popular Joe's are already there minus Sgt. Slaughter of course!

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 9:08 p.m. CST

    One of the best of the year so far!

    by Dazzler69

    Watchmen is still tops for me. Lips on Snake eyes was pretty stupid. Marlon was not as stupid as I thought he was going to be. Cobra commander mask was stupid looking also. I liked the training parts with Duke and Marlon W. Story made sense. Zartan casting perfect and great setup for sequel. They shuffled up the past backgrounds for pretty much everybody but Snake eyes, but he was way too young for the murder for the sensi.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 9:30 p.m. CST

    "You and what army?"

    by rollnstns

    "My army." Are you shitting me? Who wrote this, George Lucas? I have hated, without remorse, 2 movies in the last 15 years. This rancid turd and "Bad Girls" Some dipshit cowgirl movie. Fuck this impacted fecal matter in the colon of cinema.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 9:56 p.m. CST

    Flesh Machine...this might be a little late

    by darthSaul666

    Fuck sakes another Joe book fucking elitist who wants to believe Joe is something like the second coming of Art Spigelman's Maus!!!! I read some of them a few years ago. Joe comics are not bad but in reality still a commercial for what it's worth.... I'm dreading the day someone decides to fuck up the film adaptation of the Sandman more than how the Joe book has been tooled on film.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Proof Harry's reviews should never be taken seriously.

    by Lucasblows

    This was like someone shat in my eyes for two hours.

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Ballad of G.I. Joe! With more movie stars than the movie!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer (remove any spaces in the address if there are any)

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Maybe I should read and realize that was already posted!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 11:13 p.m. CST

    brong on the sequel-we all know it going to be a trilgy right?

    by j2talk

    could have been better,but it could have been worse,much could have stared Matthew McConaughey or Christian Bale... Mathew

  • Aug. 11, 2009, 11:22 p.m. CST

    I like the idea of Snake Eyes as a painter

    by D.Vader

    Working on sunsets at the beach.

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 1:06 a.m. CST

    I do not HATE Chun-Li either.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    I like my friend and I were watching, and my friend was squirming in his seat, I told him at least we get to see Kreuk. :)<BR><BR> The problem is that this movie didnt feel like Street Fighter at all. It barely had any of the characters. It had Chun Li and Vega vaguely resembling their gaming selves....Nash, Bison and Balrog might as well not have those names, as they barely resembled and acted like the characters imo. Michael Clarke Duncan is NOT Balrog.<BR><BR> IMO Chun Li dancing at that club with the bad girl was horrible. The way Liu Kang tried to be all mysterious was cheesy.<BR><BR> But again, imo the biggest thing was the lack of characters. Having no Ryu/Ken in a Street Fighter movie is like having no BIG LOB in a GI Joe movie.

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Now, I'm REALLY confused…

    by blakindigo

    "Transformers 2" is unbearably painful to watch for it's 'drama' or 'narrative', but the SPFX are mind-blowing (well, only if you can take the pain delivered by the rest of the movie and be dazzled by the sound editors, ILM, Digital Domain and the rest of those hard working folks).<br><br>I don't believe I'm saying this, but the 10 mins I've watched of this movie it's actually better than "Transformer's 2." Not just slightly better, either. It really does feel closer in tone to "Deep Rising" (a guilty pleasure—I enjoyed the cast and performances in that movie).<br><br>I doubt I'd ever pay to see this in it's first run, but I won't throw venom until I've seen the entire thing. I'm just surprised it wasn't what I expected, which was something abominable.

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 3:13 a.m. CST

    Get HULK HOGAN as Bazooka.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Imagine Hulk Hogan with darkened mustache, military helmet and doing the wide-eyed heavy Hogan-breathing as he runs around the battlefield with a giant bazooka blowing Cobra shit up lol.<BR>YEAH!!

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 3:14 a.m. CST

    G.I. JOE was laughably bad!!!

    by Man of Stool

    I always hear this "stupid fun" crap. That movie was as much fun as TRANSFORMERS. None. C`mon people, even summer blockbusters don`t have to be that stupid and unengrossing. Remember THE DARK KNIGHT?

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Lips on Snake Eyes - 1985

    by bah

    I haven't seen the movie so I don't know what these reviled lips look like. But the 1985 figure (and some of the later, more colorful versions) had lips:

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    It was awesome.

    by David Cloverfield

    More of this please. The weapons, the vehicles, the death rays... I know nothing about GI Joe, but this was a lot fun.

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Chun Li?

    by Colin62

    Is the director's cut of Street Fighter waay longer and shittier? That is the one I tried to watch and I fell asleep. It was ass boring. Anyone who has seen both tell me if its worth it to watch the theatrical release.

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Saw it Monday Night...

    by MonkeyLord

    Since a few trusted AICNers (Harry, Capone, Massa) gave G.I. Joe fairly positive reviews, I decided to turn my brain off, and give G.I. Joe an honest and fair shot at being brainless entertainment.<p> And, well... holy shit. I don't think I've ever paid money for a movie quite so bad in all my life. This movie was so fucking horrible, 15 minutes into it, I was checking the time on my phone to see how much longer it was going to be. <p>By the time the movie ended, my face literally hurt from grimacing so much. <p> So Harry, Massawyrm, Capone, et al, I desperately want to meet each of you in person, so I can hold you down, sit on your face, and shit in your mouth. Seriously, WTF is wrong with you people? G.I. Joe FAILED at being brainless entertainment... it was just plain brainless. MY GOD...

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 3:29 a.m. CST

    More fantasy casting that will never happen....

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Bazooka - Hulk Hogan (carrying huge guns) <BR><BR> Chuckles - Brock Lesnar (in Hawaiian shirt) <BR><BR> Quick Kick - Jet Li <BR><BR> Lady Jaye - Lena Headey (Sarah Conner on TV)<BR><BR> Ace - Mario Lopez (aka AC Slater! It fits so well...) <BR><BR> Shipwreck - Joe Pantoliano<BR><BR> Tunnel Rat - John Leguizamo <BR><BR> BIG LOB - the global search begins...

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 8:28 a.m. CST

    More fantasy casting...

    by Shermdawg

    Jeffrey Dean Morgan - Flint

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    People who hate ths movie...

    by turketron_2

    I don't know why some people have such unmitigated hate for what they saw... maybe they were expecting something else? I expected something over the top and similar to the cartoon I watched as a kid, and that's what the movie delivered for me. All of the mustache-twirling villains who were constantly getting away and posing as they flew away in their flying contraptions, all of the crazy laser weapons, the disposable neo-vipers that needed head-shots to kill, the collateral damage, and the way that the actors seemed to be having a genuinely good time filming this made me love my time with this movie. It really felt like a cartoon brought to life for me, with cartoon physics, cartoon plot, and cartoon villains and good guys. The only thing I really found annoying was the relationship between Duke, Baroness, and Cobra Commander. Other than that, solid summer action movie.

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    My Dream Casting

    by armando

    Here is my dream casting for new characters should they make a couple more movies: (Guy Pierce as Xamot and Tomax) (Mark Dacasscos as Quick Kick) (Vinnie Jones as Major Blood) (Kate Beckinsale as Lady Jaye) (Mario Lopez as Ace) (John Leginzamo as Tunnel Rat) (Ben Afflek as Flint) (Colin Farrel as LT. Falcon) (Jason Stathen as Firefly) (Ryan Renolds as Shipwreck) (Terry Crews as Road Block) (Christain Bale as Serpentor) (Wesley Snipes as Stalker)

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 3:49 p.m. CST

    and if they ever brought in the cobra la sotry line

    by armando

    (A bald Gary Oldman as Golbulous) (Mila jovick as Pythona) (Brock Lesnar as Nemesis Enforcer) Only becaue he would not have to speak, just groan and moan..

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 4:03 p.m. CST

    WTF GI Joe

    by darthstitch

    I was prepared to love this movie, honest to God. I wasn't expecting Shakespeare. I just needed to kick back, turn my brain off and have fun, the way I've done with the Transformers. That being said, these are my comments: 1. Why is it that a movie that is mainly composed of HUMAN characters (if a bit souped up) is LESS realistic than the one with the Giant Effing Robots? 2. Cobra Commander is that dweeb kid from that teen flick 10 Things I Hate About You. Dude, that is SO wrong... now, when I see that movie, I'll just remember that Alex Mack was Cobra Commander's first girlfriend. 3. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're from Scotland, the LANGUAGE (other than the Queen's English) is GAELIC, NOT Celtic, right? (Irish Gaelic is another thing altogether....) 4. You're a big weapons company. You sell WMDs. Wouldn't it make sense that YOU would know how to arm them and NOT have to go to the geek Baron in Paris to borrow his particle accelerator? Go figure, Cobra.... er.... Mars.

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Geral Butler as Serpentor!

    by armando

    This I comand! And Christian bale as Xamot and Tomax...I changed my mind from earlier...

  • Aug. 13, 2009, 7:18 p.m. CST

    I brought my inner child

    by Harold-Sherbort

    and now he hates me. We're gonna watch Stand By Me to wash out the icky taste.

  • Aug. 14, 2009, 3:03 a.m. CST

    IMO the only way to manage Ripcord: TURN HIM BAD GUY

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Turning Ripcord into a bad guy...having him join Cobra (maybe as Scrap Iron or something) the only way I see awesomefying him in the sequel. Have Snake Eyes going after him and now they are rivals.

  • Aug. 14, 2009, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Was Jinx the Asian girl with the invisibility cloak?

    by Raymar

  • Aug. 14, 2009, 3:16 p.m. CST


    by LHombreSiniestro

    I'm typically never negative on this talkback as a matter of principle, but man....

  • Aug. 14, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST

    4th time seeing it and keeps getting better

    by j2talk

    my kids loved lets get working on the 2nd and 3rd parts....Cobra Commander needs the classic full face helmet...lose Duke or RECAST him, bring in some more Joe's....its Scarlett and SnakesEyes NOT Ripcord.....

  • Aug. 14, 2009, 5 p.m. CST


    by cyberskunk

    I see that there is speculation about whether it's Jinx with the invisibility cloak on other websites, but I didn't see anything definitive, and I didn't see her name in imdb for the movie. On the other hand, I didn't notice the invisibility cloak person showing up in imdb, either. Maybe it's in there and I missed it.

  • Aug. 15, 2009, 7:15 p.m. CST

    I liked it

    by Forsakyn

    My friend and I saw it Friday (we're both almost 40 years old), and we enjoyed it. I was never big on G.I. Joe, although I did watch the cartoon some in the 80s. I didn't go in expecting much, but it was pretty well-paced and kept my attention. Sienna Miller probably did the best actual "acting" in the movie.

  • Aug. 16, 2009, 2:07 a.m. CST

    But we SHOULD be expecting Shakespeare!

    by Mr Gorilla

    Just to remind you, Shakespeare had to make sure his plays appealed not only to the over-educated aristocrats who were in the posh seats, but also to the baying crowd of totally uneducated normal paying folk who made up the majority of the audience. He succeeded. So when I ask for something that give the 'average Joe' a great blockbuster experience, but also engages with the sort of people who are more used to art-house stuff - I am NOT, repeat NOT, asking too much. 'Sommers, you're a nice guy, but you're out of your depth here my friend. With regret... you're fired!'

  • Aug. 16, 2009, 10:29 p.m. CST

    No plans to see it until

    by Powerring

    It's free on cable tv.

  • Aug. 17, 2009, 12:29 a.m. CST

    BUCKETHEAD's Night of the Slunk should be the theme song for GI2

    by GibsonUSA Returns <BR><BR> Buckethead should be standing on a platform playing it as BIG LOB takes care of the Cobra troops below.

  • Aug. 17, 2009, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Here's a summary of this movie . . .

    by The Game Master Enjoy!

  • Aug. 17, 2009, 3:14 p.m. CST

    GIJoe:somewhat dumb, non sensical but fun.

    by Stalkeye

    If you want balls out action and CGI, you'll get your money's worth.As for plot inconsistancies, silly dialogue and shitty acting especially from Channing tatum (Wayans was bad, but not OMFG bad.)then avoid this like Diane Schuler on the highway.<p>GIJ wasn't as shitty as I thought going in, however there should have been some money left over from the CGI to make a decent costume for Cobra Commander and especially Zartan. (man was he underplayed until the very end.)That Wham-O plactic face mask does not make for a leader of a terrorist organization.Hopefully the sequel will improve yards above the original.

  • Aug. 17, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST

    And yes, GIJ was better than Bayformers 2

    by Stalkeye


  • Aug. 17, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    If anyone saw GIJOE Resolute

    by StrokerX

    then they know what a good GI JOE movie COULD be like.

  • Aug. 17, 2009, 8:36 p.m. CST

    I just saw this and it was good

    by Eyegore

    I expected much less after seeing some of the negative comments, but it was good for a summer action movie.

  • Aug. 18, 2009, 4:02 p.m. CST


    by dancetothebeatofthelivingdead

    I managed to make it through the summer without giving my hard-earned money to Transformers 2, Terminator:Salvation, and G.I. Joe. I'm actually pretty fucking proud of myself. <br> <br> All based purely on the recommendations of the AICN TB'ers. Thanks, everyone. Because of you, I actually spent my money on good films this summer. District 9, Star Trek (it was good), Hurt Locker, Public Enemies, etc.

  • Aug. 19, 2009, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Absolute fucking disgrace of a movie.. and harry liked this?

    by bongo123

    Anyone giving this movie so much as an inch deserves slapped, i love big dumb popcorn movies, hell i even enjoyed the fuck outa transformers but this.. oh my god, where do you fucking start.. this is a total kids movie and for a kids movie its all kinds of brilliant im sure but for an adult, having to sit through this is one painful as fuck experience, the effects range from great to videogame cutscene, every line delivered is over the top, cheesy and just fucking lame, every character is a caricature and every scene filled with WTF? moments and harry liked this??? talk about buying a fucking review

  • Aug. 19, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer was Fucking Awesome

    by Autodidact

    I have watched my Speed Racer blu-ray more than any other movie I own in that format (around two-dozen right now). I saw it in a virtually empty theatre the first time and was really glad I went out to see it. I think the Wachowskis made something really special, a real piece of art which has been unfairly maligned and overlooked.

  • Aug. 20, 2009, 2:20 a.m. CST

    I have to apologize

    by SirBiatchReturns

    for saying that this movie looked good from the trailers. I was fooled by the first trailers and promise of action. And when the nice reviews started coming in, I was convinced that what we had was a possible lame storyline/acting but with really fun and great action sequences. I was completely wrong. What I got was a complete and utter shitfest. To pretend that this movie is anything better than shit is to be deluded. Aside from the France car chase scene (which had its problems too) and Marlon Wayans, the movie was SHIT.