I am – Hercules!!
Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal are apparently back in the big-screen game! Entertainment Weekly says Variety says they join Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin and previously rumored Robert De Niro and Michelle Rodriguez in Robert Rodriguez’ Danny Trejo vehicle “Machete,” the tale of a Mexican ex-Federale double-crossed and framed for murder by a crooked American politician. Despite rumors to the contrary posted on the Bloody Disgusting website, “Funny People” star Jonah Hill apparently won't be in "Machete." Only famed Internet Seagalogist “Vern” can say for certain, but I don’t think a Seagal movie has seen the inside of U.S. cinemas since the 2002 flop “Half Past Dead.” Lohan’s been away for a shorter term. America last saw her on the big screen in 2007’s “I Know Who Killed Me.” I love all this casting, most of all perhaps that of Marin and Johnson, initially teamed for "Tin Cup" then reunited by “Lost” showrunner Carlton Cuse on “Nash Bridges.” Like Trejo, Marin appeared (as gun-toting clergy) in the pretend trailer for “Machete” featured in “Grindhouse.” I'm guessing Lohan will play the politician's daughter seduced by Machete. Find all of Entertainment Weekly’s story on the matter here. Follow Herc on Twitter!

Seagalogy!!