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Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin & Steven Seagal Join The Cast Of Rodriguez’s MACHETE!!

I am – Hercules!!
Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal are apparently back in the big-screen game! Entertainment Weekly says Variety says they join Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin and previously rumored Robert De Niro and Michelle Rodriguez in Robert Rodriguez’ Danny Trejo vehicle “Machete,” the tale of a Mexican ex-Federale double-crossed and framed for murder by a crooked American politician. Despite rumors to the contrary posted on the Bloody Disgusting website, “Funny People” star Jonah Hill apparently won't be in "Machete." Only famed Internet Seagalogist “Vern” can say for certain, but I don’t think a Seagal movie has seen the inside of U.S. cinemas since the 2002 flop “Half Past Dead.” Lohan’s been away for a shorter term. America last saw her on the big screen in 2007’s “I Know Who Killed Me.” I love all this casting, most of all perhaps that of Marin and Johnson, initially teamed for "Tin Cup" then reunited by “Lost” showrunner Carlton Cuse on “Nash Bridges.” Like Trejo, Marin appeared (as gun-toting clergy) in the pretend trailer for “Machete” featured in “Grindhouse.” I'm guessing Lohan will play the politician's daughter seduced by Machete. Find all of Entertainment Weekly’s story on the matter here.
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  • Aug. 5, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Steven Seagal?

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    Now I gotta see this!

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Marin played Machete's brother....who was a father

    by thelordofhell


  • Aug. 5, 2009, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Fuck that.... Lindsay Lohan?

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    I officially don't give a shit about this movie.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Will Jessica play the wife or the daughter?

    by thelordofhell

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 10:59 p.m. CST

    I wonder if Rodriguez can finally convince Alba

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    to go sans clothing. I would indeed have a glimmer of respect and admiration for the man if he could pull off the feat.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11 p.m. CST

    Hey Robert, I heard Paula Abdul's not doing anything now

    by thelordofhell

    You should put her in the movie too

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:01 p.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    Even a year ago I'll bet Lohan never thought she'd be 10th on the bill in a Danny Trejo flick. <br> <br> Also, it would be nice to see another EXECUTIVE DECISION-style quick punk-out Seagal death.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:03 p.m. CST

    So can we expect more video camera aesthetics?

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    Is Rodriguez just going to shoot this in his backyard over a couple of weekends with a green sheet strung up on the cloths line or would it be too much to ask for a real film shot on locations?

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:03 p.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    cause I'm sure Lohan keeps tabs on Danny Trejo.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    Did someone swipe his role?

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    lindsay did.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Is just going to be a joke ala GH's Trailer?

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    Or does RR aim to make a real action, crime picture. Id be betting on the former.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Jeff Fahey's mistake was that he wanted to get paid

    by thelordofhell

    Everyone else is apparently doing this movie for a free bar-b-que at Robert's house.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Jessica Alba

    by thelordofhell

    I guess this means no X rating

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    by Traumnovelle

    Haha...Vern is quick when Steven "Crystal Caves" Segal is involved. <P> No Jonah Hill, though. That kind of sucks. I'm not the biggest fan of Hill, but the prospect of him playing a chubby Mexican named Julio was already pretty funny. <P> And fuck the haters, Lindsay Lohan will be sexy as fuck in this. I am excited that she is in this. She is crazy. I love her. I want her to be my girlfriend. <P> Robert Rodriguez knows how to entertain. I'm looking forward to this.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:10 p.m. CST

    yea, and that's why Jonah Hill......

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    won't be in it. He'll hog up all that bbq.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Ben Lyons and Ben Mancewitz aren't doing anything

    by thelordofhell

    Robert should cast them too

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    All I really hope for in this flick is that it plays it as a deadpan genre film rather than tries too hard to be cool and wink at the audience. Ever since SNAKES ON A PLANE I worry about flicks that work as over-the-top ideas, get overhyped, and fall flat in their execution.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:12 p.m. CST

    The mad pastiche of this casting

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    is the only thing that makes this project intriguing to me. It's just so random, I think I'll have to see what it looks like when it's slapped up on the wall.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:12 p.m. CST

    yea, she'll be sexy as fuck.....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    as long as she isn't looking like a coked-out Crypt Keeper by the time production starts.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Tru dat, Cheyenne

    by thelordofhell

    Unless Trejo stabs him with a shiv for trying to take the last piece of Pollo.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:15 p.m. CST

    Just wait until G.I. Joe comes out

    by thelordofhell

    once that movie makes $30 at the box office, all the actors in that one will line up to the Robert Rodriguez Tex-Mex Bar-B-Que shoot for Machete

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:15 p.m. CST

    jonah hill should be in this

    by StonedWriter88

    he already turned downed transformers 2 for funny people...look at that. it's like he wants to only be in apatow movies. oh well. this movie should be cool. also i saw at comingsoon they said jeff fahey is still in it, i hope so. im glad cheech still is he was awesome in the trailer.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Nash Bridges....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS


  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST

    A Robert Rodriguez movie means...

    by Logan_1973

    It will be the greatest movie Harry has ever seen...

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST

    RR - Less smug, more grit please.

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg


  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:19 p.m. CST

    If it's QT or RR....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    Harry for sure will be whackin Lil' Harry. Bahoooo.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:21 p.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    any self-respecting human being would've turned down Transformers 2. Everybody knows that.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Is this gonna be shot entirely in his garage on green screen??


  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Lindsay Lohan's day on the set.....

    by thelordofhell

    Robert---"All right Lindsay, get behing that green screen, whoaaa now, hey can we get a DP to hold her up, we'll just take you out in post. Okay now Linds, just act like you had your tit chopped off by Danny's machete...what? It's a big ass knife Linds, now back to the shot....I want you to scream okay.....quiet on the set!!...ACTION....CUT!! Okay we'll edit that shit in post. Could somebody get me some Bar-B-Que? I'd make Rosie do it but she's naked in my room giving Trejo some head."

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Lohan about 10,000 kilos of cocaine ago

    by YackBacker

    Wow, how much hotness has she lost over the years?

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    I wonder if everyone's getting paid in coke?

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    Not the cola.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST

    nah, just Lindsay.

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    they'll pay cheech's groovy ass in plant.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:32 p.m. CST

    Should be 3D

    by Anything But Tangerines

    Needs a gimmick or else it fails like grindhouse

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Rodriguez has out together eclectic casts before

    by Bass Ackwards

    Look at Sin City or Once Upon a Time, the movies still turn out to be boring and flat, and even that'd ge alright if the action scenes kicked ass, but those are usually pretty stale and lame too. Though Im one of the few that probably liked both halves of Grindhouse, Rodriguez's half less so, but it was still cheap fun. Maybe I'll be surprised by this.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:34 p.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    She's all cracked out and washed up at 22 from booze, coke, cock and pussylapping with that ugly skank she's been carpet munching with. Maybe Robert's hoping that he can fuck her a few weeks during shooting?

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:37 p.m. CST

    3-D Machete....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    it's like Jonah Hill's self consciousness is right in your face!

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:39 p.m. CST

    uhh, CarlThorMark....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    I believe the politically correct term is "Scissoring."

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:41 p.m. CST

    what's with the lohan bikini pic?

    by cloudrider`

    what a lame attempt to please some horny boys. the cast listed deniro, alba, johnson, marin. who's the biggest star of the bunch? deniro. who's the lead character? trejo. who's the babe of the bunch? alba. <p> yup, just post a pic of lohan in a bikini. makes sense.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Lohan makes sense

    by Bass Ackwards

    Seagal, Alba, Trejo, Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, he's casting B and C level talent, Lohan fits right in.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Holy shit balls, Steven Seagal?!!!

    by Mike_D


  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:47 p.m. CST

    If they're casting Seagal....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    I guess that counts Lindsay out. Between her screen time and Steve's super ultra mega close-ups the film may run at an extended 5 hours.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Why not put a pic of Alba up as well?

    by The Dum Guy

    You goddamn communist.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:50 p.m. CST

    "You got a light?" "No, but I have a blade."

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    That's my favorite line from MACHETE.

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 5, 2009, 11:57 p.m. CST

    Robert Rodriguez is a Mexican't. He's a total fuckup

    by BoRock_A_Boomer

    Whatever he had going to start with, he's assfucked into oblivion

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Yeah but....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    I'm sure he's good at mowing lawns.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Gayest movie

    by bobbofatz

    Yeah lets make movies from fake trailers now. How bout making a movie out of a Jack Black farting movie trailer ala Tropic Thunder. Lindsey Lo.... sheesh. Don and Steven were good in their prime but... Besides the Tarantino/Rodriguez team has not been hitting HRs as of late. Total fucking epic collapse.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:04 a.m. CST

    I hope Rodriguez decides to leave his garage...

    by Bladerunner751

    he'll probably just put a greenscreen on a wall somewhere in his house. He's also probably just trying to fuck Alba and Lohan.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:08 a.m. CST

    If they can make this shit then....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    when do I get to see Rob Schneider as a Carrot?....

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    So I was rewatching season 4 of LOST

    by CherryValance

    the other night and I'm looking at Josh Holloway thinking that he should really play Don Johnson's (almost as good-looking) son someday. I was already going to see Machete but this is good news. :)

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:11 a.m. CST

    This will be about as succesful as that Jack Black

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Ghostbusters movie.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Why bother with garbage like this?

    by MajorFrontbum

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:14 a.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg - Why call for such heinous and drastic action?

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    For God's sake man, have you no mercy? Let that poor girl run free without the shackles of stitched thread. In the name of all that is good and decent, how could you suggest something so depraved? How dare you persecute Venessa Hudgens for merely expressing her God given right to bare skin. For shame! You ought to know better. Just rediculous! Way outta line, you gotta lot of gowing up to do mister.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Lohan to play coke whore with a bag of cheeseburgers.

    by otm shank

    "Yo, Machete man I got these cheeseburgers man, hook a bitch up?"

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Lockesbrokenleg, Ghostbusters was very successful...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    Oh, my bad. I think my eyes must've jumped the no name after the word "that."

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Actually lockesbrokenleg, I'm not even sure what you're refrenci

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    But you deserved the scolding nontheless.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:17 a.m. CST

    refrencing (in regards to Venessa Hudgens)

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:19 a.m. CST

    because that

    by cloudrider`

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:23 a.m. CST

    Lol, Venessa should just do sex tape.

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:27 a.m. CST

    is rodriguez's specialty

    by cloudrider`

    making cheapo garbage movies, that is. you want artistic cheapo garbage films, watch tarantino. you want cheapo disposable junks, you watch rodriquez. <p> sincity is great, but the story & art direction were already in the miller's books. the rest are mostly garbage with no redeeming values.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:33 a.m. CST

    lockesbrokenleg, now you're speaking rationally.

    by The_Genteel_Gentile

    Eloquently put sir, some much needed decorum and tact. Bravo.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:35 a.m. CST

    Sin City.....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    A fun first viewing. Then, you realize how fucking cliche' everything is. I haven't read it but I've heard that the movie is taken from the novel page by page. If so, it's as cliched as the movie is.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:39 a.m. CST

    wasn't there some manson movie being made


    that lindsey was supposed to be part of?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:42 a.m. CST

    Great casting! Best casting since The Expendables.

    by hallmitchell

    I bet he got them cheap to. Don Johnson - good to see you back!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:43 a.m. CST

    Can someone cast Lee Majors?

    by hallmitchell

    Why isn't he being cast?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:48 a.m. CST

    Random Motherfuckers....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    doesn't equal "great casting." Idc how much you want to fuck Lohan from that pic (guess a few years ago). Has everyone forgot about that dildo of a film entitled "I know who killed me?"

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:54 a.m. CST

    What? Michelle Rodrriguz isn't in this?

    by lockesbrokenleg


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Jeff Fahey is in the movie, click the link

    by SnowDogs

    You apparently didn't click on the Variety link: "Danny Trejo is playing the title character and Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey play supporting roles."

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Lohan can be non-bad in movies

    by The Dum Guy

    I saw Chapter 27 (or was it 17?) and she wasn't grating... although, she wasn't that hot in the movie, so maybe I should say she wasn't distracting.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Hey! What the hell..

    by Youngdog

    ..happened to the Perfect Getaway TB?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:30 a.m. CST

    quit ripping us off

    by Bloo

    and by us I mean the Oleg crew, we called for a Steven Segal/Danny Trejo teamup and/or fight <P>my best guess DeNiro will drop out (ala Ben Kingsly in THE EXPENDABLES) adn be replaced with Eric Roberts...which will be awesome as hell but still RIPPING THE OLEGers off...unless RobRod is an Oleger and in that case we demand a set visit...and invites to that BBQ where I'll fight Jonah Hill (who'll show up anyways) for the pig

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:32 a.m. CST

    and I'm too lazy to check

    by Bloo

    but didn't TIN CUP come out before NASH BRIDGES? and I know Johnson and Marin weren't teamed up but they did share lots of screen time togather

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:34 a.m. CST

    This just in....Robert Rodriguez casts a Kitchen Sink for Machet

    by thelordofhell

    What the hell

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Machete trailer@1:40

    by MorganLeafy

    If that scene is in the movie with Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan (Danny Trejo doesn't even have to be in it), I promise I will donate a 1000 euros to charity.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:50 a.m. CST

    WHAT?! No Baldwin brothers cast in this?!

    by lockesbrokenleg


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Lohan's Look

    by browncoat_skyfan

    Wow - a picture like that reminds you she was quite cute before she got the Hollywood virus. Sigh...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:51 a.m. CST


    by Omar B

    This movie just shit the bed. Lohan and her lizard back need to stay away from us humans, we might catch something.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:22 a.m. CST

    Congratulations, Vern!

    by CuervoJones

    You should direct this movie!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:27 a.m. CST

    Fuck you all, Rodriguez makes movies

    by IForgotAbout19

    that cost peanuts, and you all sit in judgement. The man is a hero to independent filmmaking, and those of you who think he jumped the shark-boy are just clamoring as ever to seem ahead of your time. You should all be ruminating on how many Tito & Tarantula songs we're going to be graced with in this movie named after a weapon. But instead you're up on your high-horses to get the furthest view of what you can take a measly unprovoked shit on. You pissants don't deserve Rodriguez.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:28 a.m. CST

    Now back

    by IForgotAbout19

    to your regularly scheduled programing

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:30 a.m. CST

    Pity Lohan is a carpet muncher

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Would. Most. Definately. The Don Johnson news is way cool. We miss you Crocket!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:31 a.m. CST

    Noooo why Lindsey why the fuck you had to ruin Machete!!!

    by bloodawn5

    Damn, I never have seen anything with her and now she goes to a movie that I have years waiting,Lindsey isnt that HOT for cristh sake,put some real giant boob hookers in there(Pamela Anderson) and trow that Bitch away from the studio

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:36 a.m. CST

    RR needs to take his time...

    by sonnyfern

    He is a hero to me...the dude's a badass, but that doesn't change the fact that sometimes his movies...for some strange reason..feel hollow and lifeless. I can never put my finger on WHY, I enjoy his movies...but something keeps them from being classics...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:37 a.m. CST

    The other faux grinhouse trailers need movies too

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Loved Rob Zombies Werewolf Women of the SS with Nic Cage as Fu Manchu. But would love to see Edgar Wright's Don't...most of all. Had that authentic 1970's Amicus feel to it, and with Nic Frost as a demented man baby, what more could you ask for?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:43 a.m. CST

    You're absolutely right...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    We don't deserve Robert Rodriguez.... lol.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:45 a.m. CST

    sonnyfern: you answered your own question

    by Toilet_Terror

    They are hollow and lifeless. At least insofar as you might expect a film to provide more than some brief frivolous entertainment. There's not much going on in his pictures, but they can be fun to watch as actionsploitation exercises. <p>But he's basically already been beaten forever at that game by Crank 2, so his entire career is a bit pointless at the moment.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Stunt Casting At Its Worse!!!

    by Media Messiah

    Rodriguez is getting worse with every film!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Stunt Casting At Its Worse!!!

    by Media Messiah

    Rodriguez is getting worse with every film!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:33 a.m. CST

    Steven Seagal!!!

    by AJD_1

    I'm already there!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:35 a.m. CST

    Steven fucking Seagal? Fuck yeah!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Finally! The master has returned to the big screen.<p>_ _ _<p>A V A T A R. FUCKING YOUR EYEBALLS IN 2009.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:37 a.m. CST

    the master has returned.....?

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    yeah. The master who does his fucking mountain dew commercials. Seagal's a fucking joke. You ever notice they zoom in on his face careful enough not to show the double chins? Surprised the fat bastard can even walk anymore.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:46 a.m. CST

    to those who don't believe in god: jonah hill out, steven segal

    by ironic_name


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:46 a.m. CST

    Lohan is a joke

    by MonkeyManReturns

    There are fine new young actresses out there - women who study their craft, look after themselves and (for someone in the acting profession) are fairly stable. They should get the work. Women like Lohan, should not. All you're doing is giving her more money for drugs and alcohol - and pissing us fans off for having to see her on screen. She isn't pretty, she is an average actress at best, and she is an embarassment to the profession. Not. A. Fan.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:47 a.m. CST

    steven segal in.

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:09 a.m. CST

    Who says this will make it to theatres?

    by Sherlock Holmes II

    And whose funding it anyway, fairytale munchkins from Dubailand?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Lohan is a 3 bagger.

    by V'Shael

    She may be cute for a ginger, and have a trim little body, and yeah, you could fantasise about her as one of her many underage alter-ego's if that's what floats your boat. <p> But any day now one of her many STD's is going to achieve an independent existence outside her diseased snatch, and start killing hobos. <p> You know this to be true.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:46 a.m. CST

    "hero to independent filmmaking"???

    by cloudrider`

    try the guy who did memento and that videostore clerk who did reservoir dogs. both movies were made on the cheap too. and both guys fully know cheap dont have to translate to disposable junks, which is what rodriguez movies are. sure, what he did to get el mariachi made is to be commended, but he was a beginner then and he's a big name now. to STILL be making the same kind of grindhouse junks now is embarassing. tarantino's junks at least have artistic merits. rodriguez's are just pure juvenile trash.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:58 a.m. CST

    Good casting

    by Lorquaine

    Saw "Marked for Death" again the other day. Great little B picture. I'd love to see Seagal again on the big screen. Marin/Johnson = very good choice. Lohan is gorgeous, could be fun. She's crazy. (Don't know about Alba though.)

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:05 a.m. CST

    They had me at Seagal

    by filmcoyote

    I watch all the DTV Seagal stuff, i just can't help myself. The man's a legend!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:16 a.m. CST

    this just in......

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    Steven Seagal is the size of a fucking tug boat. He can't be an action hero anymore....he's fucking FAT. Don't you get it?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:22 a.m. CST

    hahaha it must be funny.....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    if he ever goes to a convention and people ask him what his next flick is about. And he has to respond "I'm an ex-narc who is tracking down the murderer of my partner" or "I'm an ex-con who is tracking down the murderer of my sister." How many times can 1 man say that shit and keep a straight face....Steven Seagal: Ex-Cop,Ex-con. OUT FOR Vengeance.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:22 a.m. CST

    Whats the bets..

    by TheManWhoCan

    Lohan storms off set blah blah free tabloid publicity blah blah.Why else "cast" Lohan for a picture. Smart move by the producers, unless it all backfires and she actually makes it to the end of the shoot, and then you have a movie ACTUALLY staring Lohan. (because every film she has been in is barely watchable rubbish)

  • This just got my 10 bucks.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:38 a.m. CST


    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    cause the $5 bin at wal-mart just couldn't hold steven back. I'll believe it when I see it. And I'm not gonna see it so I'm not gonna believe it.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:44 a.m. CST

    All these stars should be lined up to support Seagal, not Trejo

    by JuanSanchez

    BTW - did Seagal land this cause he worked with Trejo in Urban Justice?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:02 a.m. CST


    by Bloo

    "that videostore clerk who did reservoir dogs. both movies were made on the cheap too" yeah because so many "independent" movies have Harvey Kietel producing and starring. I'm not saying Dogs is bad, it's probably my 2nd favorite QT film, but as an inspiration for indie filmmakers it's not. I'm much more impressed with the clerk that did Clerks on a nothing budget with no help until it was finished or the film student that did She's Gotta Have It...or the good ole boy from Texas who did SLACKER--all done with no help producing, financing then I am QT...from a pure indie standpoint RobRod is more inspiration then Quinty. Just because of how they did their first feature. follow up pictures is another story, but if we're talking what they did for their first feature all of those stories are more inspirational to an indie then QT

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:07 a.m. CST

    this is great great great news

    by Spandau Belly

    I like all these people and look forward to how Rodriguez will use them in the movie.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:09 a.m. CST

    So this film is supposed to lose money for tax purposes?

    by Yeti

    Because half these "actors" = box office death.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:19 a.m. CST

    Lindsay Lohan as the coke whore

    by TheBloop

    No rehearsal needed.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:26 a.m. CST


    by Volfan8404

    Seagal is so fat it looks like he ate himself. He needs to do some P90X or something. I can also see Alba and Lohan being best of friends after this is over....NOT! You have one of the sexiest women in the world working with one of the most coked out carpet munching skeezy whorebags in the world. I can't wait.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:31 a.m. CST

    better double up on the buffet tables...

    by just pillow talk

    for fatso pony tailed one.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:44 a.m. CST

    RIP Blake Snyder

    by JuanSanchez

    Writer of Blank Check and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot and author of the Save The Cat books on screenwriting. Great writer, great guy.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 6:46 a.m. CST

    fatso pony tailed one...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    that's great. I never understood why people always made the fucking chuck norris jokes a few years back. Should've made those jokes about Seagal.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7 a.m. CST

    Seagal owns Norris.

    by JuanSanchez

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:12 a.m. CST

    this just in......

    by ironic_name


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:13 a.m. CST

    This is a REAL cast...

    by ZoeFan

    Not necessarily an acclaimed cast, but a cast that will make people see something they want to see.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Lindsey Lohan

    by Buzz_Aldrin

    I always thought it was a real shame that she imploded like she did. Really liked her in A Prairie Home Companion...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Everytime Seagal fights....

    by savagedave

    Will he only be shot fron behind, and suddenly look a lot thinner?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:34 a.m. CST


    by Volfan8404

    Lohan used to be hot when she had some on her bones, and in her for that matter, like in the picture above. I'm just not a fan of the Crypt Keeper look.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:06 a.m. CST

    To those that believe in God: ....

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    MY PENIS! Dur Dur.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:13 a.m. CST


    by Volfan8404

    It was supposed to say MEAT on her bones.....that would have been better. I'm stupid.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:14 a.m. CST

    no all his more recent work

    by just pillow talk

    he's just draped in some massive curtain or something and stands with his hands held together in front of his belly. Instant thinness! <p>Actually, he doesn't even block kicks anymore, he just uses his hugeness to soften blows.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:21 a.m. CST

    no fahey means it will suck

    by animas

    im out

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:24 a.m. CST

    How long before...

    by Logan_1973

    Robert bones Lohan and Rose leaves him?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Steven Seagal

    by Arashikage

    Love it

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:35 a.m. CST


    by turketron_2

    I will be there on opening day to see this movie. Grindhouse was one of the most fun times I've had at a theater, loved Planet Terror and the fake trailers. The less said about Deathproof the better though.<p> BRING ON MACHETE!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Behold The Fat Seagal!!!

    by ThroughTheBrokenWindowWithDancinDelroyLindo

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:36 a.m. CST

    BOOOOOOOOO on Lohan! She's washed up!

    by D.Vader

    We shouldn't be just GIVING her roles. This self-obsessed, arrogant bitch needs to work her way back up into the spotlight after squandering her looks and talents. I'm disappointed in you, Rodriguez. She would have never taken a role in your movies before, you can be sure of that. She's just using you as a way to get back on top, because no one else in town wants to work with her, and with good reason.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:37 a.m. CST

    doesn't matter who's in it ...

    by madCanada

    Watching a Rodriguez movie is like watching paint dry ... or just looking at a blank screen. He seems to not know or care what storytelling is. I've seen several of his films and don't remember a thing.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:37 a.m. CST

    before they met during casting...

    by samuraiyao

    Lindsay Lohan blows on Don's Johnson while getting smoked out with Cheech getting cock punched by Steven Seagal...

  • Will be if he makes her get NAKED. I'm serious, that's the only way he'll redeem himself in my eyes. Because that girl is DESPERATE to get back in the spotlight; I believe she'll do it. She's a girl at the lowest point in her career- you KNOW she's game. <p> You had better have made that a stipulation in her contract, Mr. Robert Rodriguez. If not, I'm seriously disappointed in you.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:42 a.m. CST

    I'm glad someone mentioned PHC

    by Disco_sucks

    I loved that film and Lohan was very good in her supporting role, even if there wasn't that much to it. As for the rest: Trejo, Seagal, Alba, Johnson - sounds top notch to me. If Rodriguez can keep himself above second gear when he's making this I'll give it a look for sure.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:42 a.m. CST


    by sherlock_junior

    TREJO, FAHEY, JOHNSON, SEAGAL, MARIN! This is a cultdream coming true! Bring it on!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Yes... ....yes.

    by kirttrik

    ....Fucking awesome.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:48 a.m. CST

    He's got my ten bucks

    by liljuniorbrown

    Sounds to interesting to pass up.This could either be a huge bad ass return to form for all of those involved or a stinker the size of The Spirit. I'm pulling for a hit. Don Johnson needs a comeback .As far as Lindsey Lohan is concerned, she is fucking hot in that picture but has really hit bottom in the last two years or so. I blame her media whore parents.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:48 a.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    They usually cost 50 million plus these days which is hardly low budget. Strange considering he shoots in and around Austin using his own facilities don’t you think? Sure, in comparison to Transformers, which cost 200 million, the studio slugs in Hollywood think it’s a bargain but 50 mill ain’t cheap.<br> <br>The truth is that the whole “Mr. Fiscal Responsibility” thing is just Robert doing PR to cover the fact that his movies keep getting more and more expensive. Never mind that Crank 3 cost about 20 mil, was a true exploitation film and ten times more entertaining then Planet Terror which was 75 minutes of El Douche winking and nodding at the audience about how aware everyone was that they were in an exploitation movie.<br> <br>If RR was able to knock out really great little action/exploitation/Horror movies at about 25 mill a piece I wouldn’t have a problem but he keeps making these shit kids films never mind that it’s been 4 and a half years since Sin City, his best movie, was released and he STILL hasn’t got any sequels out.<br> <br>RR needs to do Machete for 25 mill and cut down on casting people who drive up his budgets, hire some c-listers or unknowns and make something really fucking crazy. Untill then he does that or Sin City 2 and 3 he can piss right the fuck off. Oh and don't cast that useless bitch Alba unless she's going to get her tits and pussy out because she sure as fuck can't act.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:51 a.m. CST

    why not play the drug mule?!?!?!

    by krod

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:53 a.m. CST


    by Six Demon Bag

    but it was ok cause they were in on the joke...<P>now THIS FILM IS A JOKE...but they dont get it...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Lohan ain't hot enough to get naked these days.

    by JuanSanchez

    Want to see a naked skeleton? Watch Jason and the Argonauts.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Machete: he gets the ladies

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    film that scene with Alba and Lohan.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:08 a.m. CST

    If only Lohan still looked like that picture you posted

    by HoboCode

    Now she looks like an anorexic and anemic coke whore. which is probably because she IS an anorexic and anemic coke whore. This casting is only delaying a promising future in porn.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:15 a.m. CST

    To JuanSanchez

    by Grandpa Bunche

    Dude, that Jason and the Argonauts crack...Good one!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:15 a.m. CST

    And still no HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN...

    by ricarleite2

    There is no God.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Grammaton Cleric Binks

    by MorganLeafy

    See post above!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:36 a.m. CST

    People Forget That Lindsey Lohan Can Act


    When of course she doesnt have a coke spoon stuck in her nose

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:38 a.m. CST

    I'm still waiting for Hobo with a Shotgun

    by _V_

    I'm still waiting for Hobo with a Shotgun

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Hobo With a Shotgun is being written

    by D.Vader

    So says Jason Eisener.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Yeah, I enjoyed her.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Segal will play the role of the enviro-friendly Badass (albeit o

    by DarfurOnTheRocks2

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Segal will play the role of the enviro-friendly Badass (albeit o

    by DarfurOnTheRocks2

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:05 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    And it's not a remake? WIN

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Rodriguez is trying to be like Tarantino...

    by Reckoner

    Bringing back has-beens in a starring role!!!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Rodriguez's Grind House movie

    by Reckoner

    was a steaming pile of dung. Seriously, one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:08 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    With tight shots on Alba's crotch ala Into The Blue.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:10 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    and then send her to my place.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST

    When her last flick went direct to ABC Family

    by skimn

    not even direct to DVD but ABC Family??, Lohan better drop all pretense and go full frontal. After gaining 15 pounds first...<p>THAT will put her career back on track.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Rodriguez has a race against time mentality

    by Bladerunner751

    it just seems like he's more worried about showing off new camera tricks than telling a coherent story. All he talks about is the race to get the film made underbudget in his commentary tracks.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:19 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    But considering her trashy parasitic parents you can't pin the blame solely on her. She was fucked from day one. Here's hoping she channels her inner talent for this job.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    CarlThorMark1978, Planet Terror cost about $25 million...

    by colonelcaine make, so RR actually did turn his movie in "on the cheap". The fact that Death Proof's $25 million budget was tagged onto that might be where the confusion comes from, but the only movie RR's done that cost anywhere near $50 million was Sin City, and I believe that was done for $40 million.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Why do you tease us...

    by HapaPapa72

    Lohan only looked like that once, and sadly, never again. Not sure if I wanna see this. Maybe I'll just watch the trailer a few times.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Where's Michael Biehn?

    by skimn

    Where's Michael Parks?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Will Seagal star as Machete's sensei?

    by JuanSanchez

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    and have her sing the cotton song. <P>

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Oh my god, please let this get made.

    by dr sauch

    I'm glad people are realizing the potential of an all-star B-list cast. First The Expendables, now this. Sick.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST

    I just got a hell of a lot more excited. . .

    by heyscot

    Don Johnson, Steven Seagal? ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!!!! I hope Lohan and Alba get meaty parts.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:40 a.m. CST

    As much as I like Robert Rodriguez...

    by HerbWestAustin

    This won't make any money. It will tank just like Grindhouse.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Send Vern...

    by Rustle

    I know it's in Austin, so Quint will probably get the gig.. But the article I want to see is a set visit by Vern.. Harry, spring for a plane ticket, and make it happen..

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    The IMDB has the budget of Planet Terror at an estimated 53 million while Boxofficemojo says it was about 67. Let’s split the difference and say it was 60 since that’s what my old issues of Entertainment Weekly and Premiere have reported. Now, I really doubt that the fake trailers, not including Machete, cost more then a mill and it would be insane if they did. 59 mill. Death Proof was 114 minutes of dialogue with one car crash and one chase scene and it would be a fucking disgrace if QT spent more then 10 mill on that piece of shit. 49 mill. Rodriguez reportedly shot a shitload of footage for Machete, enough for a 40 minute flick and let’s say that cost, maybe, 5 mill at max.<br> <br>That leaves about 44 million that was spent on Planet Terror which was only 105 minutes long. In comparison, Sin City was 124 minutes long and cost an estimated 40 million according to the IMDB and Boxofficemojo although I seem to remember Entertainment Weekly, Total Film and Empire magazine reporting a 50 mill+ budget.<br> <br>Let’s just say Sin City cost 40 mill, it was shot almost completely on greenscreen stages and was over two hours long. Are you really suggesting that Planet Terror, with its large cast, hoards of exploding, melting zombies and large scale battle scene’s cost only 25 Mill even considering that it was only 20 minutes shorter then Sin City?<br> <br>I think you need to reconsider your position on this debate.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:03 a.m. CST



    Alba on the other hand, OMG! If rodriguez can get her naked, he will redeem himself for all his crappy movies.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    $53 million was the budget of GRINDHOUSE, not Planet Terror alon

    by colonelcaine

    I've still got that issue of Entertainment Weekly, so I know you've got the right numbers, but that 53 million consists of 25 for Planet Terror and 25 for Death Proof, give or take a few million to account for the extra 3 million, which I always kinda figuresd covered the fake trailer budget. The Weinsteins's may have their heads shoved fairly far up their asses, but there is no way in hell they would have ever spent 50-60 million on Rodriguez's segment alone.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST


    by Six Demon Bag

    in fake pacino accent--BE THERE.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST


    by colonelcaine

    all of those totally CGI backgrounds in Sin City cost a hell of a lot more and took a hell of a lot more time to create than anything they did in Planet Terror. And what does the film's running time have to do with the budget?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST

    So no Jeff Fahey?

    by ominus

    damn,he was great as the big bad boss in the machette trailer.its a pity that they are not going to use him in this movie.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:10 a.m. CST


    by bueno_bob

    This is going to be so awesome. Words can't explain how awesome Grindhouse was. Now if they just do full length movies of "Don't!" and "Thanksgiving", I'll be a happy camper...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:10 a.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    The guys got the resources that he should have a dozen scripts in development and, hey, there’s plenty of writers who would work for less than what Hollywood pays in exchange for the credit. I think RR’s a good director but he’s not the best writer and if he could beef up his scripts I think he’d make much better movies. He would do well to pay attention to Sidney Lumet’s career. Lumet’s not an auteur but he’s been putting out quality work for over 50 years and has made one of the greatest movies of all time, NETWORK. Robert needs to stop working in a vacuum.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:13 a.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    But my cost breakdown still puts Planet Terror at around the 45 million mark which I think is very unlikely given the scale of that flick.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:20 a.m. CST


    by CarlThorMark1978

    RR may shoot fast but the longer a movie is the more post production work is needed in terms of effects, scoring, etc...and that eats up money. RR dosen't do everything himself and the more work that is spent on something the more money it costs.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Planet Terror look expensive, but consider this...

    by colonelcaine

    ...the Dawn of the Dead remake, which takes place on a massive scale compared to PT, only cost $28 million. I could see PT maybe costing 45 million dollars under a less budget-conscious director, but I honestly believe RR pulled it off for 25. Since studio estimates can't ever be trusted, especially those found on IMdB, I guess I'll just have to agree to disagree on this one

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:27 a.m. CST

    So is Steven Seagal gonna f _ c k with the wrong...

    by kravmaguffin


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Jessica Alba got her body back

    by D.Vader

    Anyone see those pics of her at the beach last week? Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. <p> Just don't let her speak too much.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Did the black woman really call the white woman trailer trash?!? Oh no she di 'int!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:35 a.m. CST


    by Six Demon Bag

    yeah thats in tonights ep i think...did you see the one girl fight with the party did that guy not get fired????

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:36 a.m. CST

    BSB--are you afraid of BATMAN or something?

    by Six Demon Bag

    you dont stop by in the TB or what?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    I'll look for it on Youtube under the crazy bitches section.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:39 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Lockes spamming the place?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:42 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Fuck yeah!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:44 a.m. CST

    De Niro is in this as well??????

    by AJD_1


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:50 a.m. CST

    when you need a 5+yr old picture to look hot

    by palewook

    its probably over.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Tarantino & Rodriguez's films are where has been actors go

    by Eye_H8_U

    When they have fallen out of the limelight and are looking to jumpstart their careers back to life.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Steven Seagal=douche Lindsay Lohan=Bigger douche taint.

    by Stalkeye

    Another bullshit Rodriquiez Movie I won't be seeing. And I can imagine what "Sonny Crockett' looks like now.Time is a cruel mutha fukka!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Seagal wont let himself be defeated in a movie.

    by JuanSanchez

    He'll be on Machete's side.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Don Johnson doesn't look old - just fat. 40 lbs heavier easy.

    by JuanSanchez

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Will it be...

    by themailman

    ...rated "X" as the trailer suggests?? When was the last time you saw a movie with an X rating that wasn't a porn?? The ultimate rodriguez film!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:12 p.m. CST

    If Seagal gets his ass handed to him..

    by Stalkeye

    ..then that alone will be worth the price of admission.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:17 p.m. CST


    by Six Demon Bag

    they will play it before tonights new ep..they usually play the previous weeks eps before...CHECK IT OUT...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Maybe Segal will get lipo to suck the fat out of his enormous as

    by Eye_H8_U

    He needs to slim down so that they won't have to bust out the wide lens every time he has a scene.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST

    bringingsexyback, that was actually funny - but I would

    by LaneMyersClassic

    have left out Lohan. My meaty parts only go to Alba.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Segal and Lohan sex scene.

    by BurnedNotice_Dude

    Two of them naked with full frontal from both. Yeah. It will happen.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:34 p.m. CST

    I want a part in that!

    by flipster

    I'm the right height! Really! C'mon evil white guy number 37 or sympatico white guy who betrays his evil brother/cousin/boss to help Machete! QUENTIN!!!!!! ME! ME! Please. hollah!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    lindsay lohan doesnt look like that anymore

    by supercowbell5THECOWBELLHASSPOKEN

    she looks like a freaking disgusting crack whore nowdays. actually look at her face in the picture what the hell is up with that makeup...anyway she was freakin hot around that time she hosted snl in 2004.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    LMAO!!! rodriguez - sigh...rough night last night

    by flipster

    TALK TO ME RODRIGUEZ....shameless, crazy but can act. And the right height.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Whose leg is behind Lindsay?

    by Rolling_Stone

    I smell photoshop.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Rolling Stone- some think its Wilmer Valderama

    by D.Vader

    This was around the time they were dating. Or its just a model they threw in there for this shoot (there are more pictures).

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Then Wilmer's a fag for tossing that to the curb.

    by Rolling_Stone

    Should have at least waited until she self-destructed.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Wilmer was filming Yo Momma and Lindsay gave me a pedicure.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:02 p.m. CST

    They should do this on a shoestring budget,

    by Rev. Slappy

    If you're going to do grindhouse, do with an ultra low budget. Like RR did with El Mariachi.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Didn't Lindsay refer to Obama as "A Colored President"?

    by Stalkeye

    Clueless Tuna tastin'Bitch.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:44 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    Love Danny. He's as hard-ass looking as anyone ever was. Hell, he's one scary looking dude-at 65! And he is hard-core Clean and Sober, so I bet the set will be clean. And Seagal-I love him also. He's just friggin cool even if his movies have sucked. And Alba? Hottest chick in Hollywood. All in all, I wish tremendous good will on the set and for the success of this film. Good Luck, Robert!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 2:50 p.m. CST


    by Semen Stains


  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST


    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    Dude, me and a buddy saw him like 2 months ago in Coral Gables,FLORIDA drinking up a storm.He's a cool-ass dude though.I would defintiely say drinking is all he does, but he was WAAAAAAY COOL.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Oh now i saw it.So Fahey is in.

    by ominus

    I am already sold.BRING IT ON RR.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 3:50 p.m. CST

    will Seagal make his ludicrous paycheck?

    by beardinator

    the fact this dude makes more than Gary Oldman is pretty sad.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST

    SS won't make his usual

    by JuanSanchez

    Those DTV films are made on the cheap to guarantee profit with most of the money going to SS. The reason RR can get so many stars in this is the way he shoots. He brings them in and shoots quick - so most will work for 5 to 10 days, other than Trejo, Marin and Fahey. James Spader worked for only 5 days playing the villain in RR's upcoming family film Shorts.Even Bruce Willis only worked for 10 days on Sin City. So with a short shoot he can pay each star less and get more stars in the picture. I'd be willing to bet none of the actors will be clearing $1 million for this picture.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:12 p.m. CST

    RIP John Hughes

    by GlenLantz

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST

    His ability to shoot relatively cheap is how he gets...

    by JuanSanchez

    films like Machete, with a B and C movie co-star in the lead, greenlit. Nobody's gonna give him $50 million for this. I'd be willing to bet this will be shot for $25 million or less - maybe even as low as $15 million. That nearly assures it will be profitable even if it under performs.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Man - Hughes was young too. Very sad. RIP John Hughes.

    by JuanSanchez

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 4:37 p.m. CST


    by harrys_site_sucks

    she's got some big uns!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Looking at that picture...

    by r_number6

    then looking at any recent shots of her, it's not even the same person. How much coke and booze must she have put into her body to tear herself up that much in just a few years. Just say no, kids...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:33 p.m. CST

    wife and daughter scene from trailer


    Daughter = Jessica Alba Mother = Salma Hayek

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:44 p.m. CST

    cheyne_stoking_DMS, your cock is so small it shakes a man's fait

    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:44 p.m. CST


    by ironic_name

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 5:45 p.m. CST

    SAILOR_RIPLEY, thanks for thinking that up

    by ironic_name

    give yourself a raise.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Even in that shot Lohan looks like a crack ho.

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Trejo has an esemble cast for his first lead role.

    by OutlawsDelejos

    I'm so happy.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:17 p.m. CST

    bitch cant act, and sure as shit dont look like that now

    by quantize

    fuckin retarded.. what is he trying to pretend he wouldn't prefer to cast his girlfriend for the millionth time?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:20 p.m. CST

    BTW whats up with the MEDIA BAN on BASTERDS?

    by quantize

    we know it screened in melbourne..the trailers have been woeful..lets hear how thats just a misrepresentation of a WORK OF GENIUS.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Lohan's girlfriend is shitting bricks right now

    by McBragg

    because Michelle Rodriguez is in the movie. Michelle's going to hit on Lindsay like there's no tomorrow. If RR cast either of them with the thought of a possible Rose McGowan replacement, he's in for a big disappointment.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:38 p.m. CST

    The "Machete" is a better actor than any of these clowns

    by toadkillerdog

    I mean who will be 'acting' in this thing?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I wanna hear the Tarantino apologists

    by lockesbrokenleg

    defending that piece of shit.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 7:53 p.m. CST


    by cloudrider`

    when it comes to independent filmmaking, inspirations dont only comes from HOW you shoot your first film, it comes also from a practical budget conscious script. tarantino's reservoir dogs read cheap and read cool. that is enough inspiration for any aspiring independent filmmakers, and is enough reason for any financier to back that project. <p> and just because that movie had harvey keitel backing it doesnt mean tarantino didnt work his ass off to get himself into that position. what's harder - using your money to get movie made yourself(el mariachi), or getting someone in hollywood to trust you enough to get your first movie made? both ways require just as much tenacity. dismissing tarantino's way as the 'easier' path is wrong.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:25 p.m. CST


    by uberman

    You sure it wasnt soda or something? Sure it was booze? Curious...

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 8:43 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is Tara Reid?

    by toadkillerdog

    I mean, c'mon!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is JEFF CONAWAY?!!

    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Lohan needs to be boned hetero-style back to her senses

    by Monkey_King

    and then be allowed to make decent movies again.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:21 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is Denise Richards?

    by toadkillerdog

    I mean c'mon.

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is Kelly Lebrock?

    by toadkillerdog

    I mean c'mon - Steve is in it!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:26 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is Philip Michael Thomas?

    by toadkillerdog

    Actually that is a good question! I mean c'mon!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:42 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is C. Thomas Howell?

    by D.Vader

    I mean, c'mon! Wait... which TB is this again?

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is Rae Dawn Chong?

    by toadkillerdog

    I mean c'mon!

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:17 p.m. CST


    by lockesbrokenleg

  • Aug. 6, 2009, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck is John Hughes?!...

    by cheyne_stoking_DMS

    chill out.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:05 a.m. CST

    I will see this movie.

    by xalener

    It will be funny. That's the whole fucking point assholes.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:20 a.m. CST

    Trejo is

    by thegreatwhatzit

    is the post-millennium Dick Miller. Nice guy,too. He stole a movie from headliner Larry the Cable Guy (DELTA FARCE...yeah, he's already polishing that Oscar). But the addition of Lohan??? That's desperation, i.e. visibility in the tabloid crap (a former teen bombshell turns "gutsy"). Naturally,she'll kiss Rodriguez's ass (and DeNiro'd) in interviews, insist this supporting role is a comeback" and drink herself into another MMonroe impersonation.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 3:30 a.m. CST

    Hell, even Tom Arnold would have...

    by thegreatwhatzit

    turned down a Dino turd like TRANSFORMERS 2. Then again...what was I thinking (Michelle and I are chugging down Black Russians). Either Arnold or the actor w ho played Urkel will play a "funny" cameo role in the sequel. Bet on it.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 7:07 a.m. CST

    I'm surprised Johnson took this in that

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    he and Fahey are best buds. Johnson was a producer on the short lived series The Marshall. One would think that unless the trailer role was offered to Fahey and he refused that Johnson would not take this.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Reeks of gimmick casting

    by alienindisguise

    Sounds like a pretty stupid flick to me with nothing but d-list stars and yes I'm aware Deniro's in it. Pass.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 8:32 a.m. CST

    I can smell Lindsay's stink even through her pics

    by alienindisguise

    Nasty cracked out whore.

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    On par with the Expendables casting?! WTF???

    by HollywoodHellraiser

    Dude, get your eyes and brains check! There no way this casting is close to the coolness of the Expendables castings! Hell its not even close to a 90210 Reunion Special!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    There better be Michael Beihn!!

    by Clervel

    He and Jeff Fahey really need to have major roles in this film. To hell with Lohan...give me Kyle Reese!

  • Aug. 7, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST


    by beardinator

    I read he makes a standard salary, no profit stuff from his dtv work. he was being sued by some dtv studio for taking his 4 million paycheck but showing up on set and proceeding to be 'Seagal'. On Ew someone commented his salary is like a million bucks a week or something. They sure love Seagal in eastern Europe. Still, I'd have thought he'd be doing work for big mac meals.