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Capone is on board for G.I. JOE's first mission and has a blast!!!
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
I'll admit it, I don't get people sometimes, especially people who feel compelled to tear something down they haven't even seen. Case in point: G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA, a film that very tiny number of non-studio people on the whole planet have seen. You can now add one more person to that list. I guess what I don't understand is why people seem so ready, giddy in fact, to see this movie be terrible and fail. Except for Harry's rather enthusiastic review (which I will read for the first time in its entirety after I finish writing this), there has been no advance buzz on this film--positive or negative--generated by anyone who has actually seen it. Yes, the first trailer was terrible, but it's hardly the first poorly cut trailer in the history of cinema. And I actually thought the second theatrical trailer was a much better effort and got me charged to see what the film was about.
I have zero stake in seeing this movie succeed. I don't own stock in Paramount or Hasbro (as can be seen by my pretty scathing review of the recent TRANSFORMERS film), and I don't know a single person personally who had a hand in making G.I. JOE. I heard all the same rumors as you did about the troubled production and post-production, about Stephen Sommers getting fired after the film tested ridiculously low (the testing portion of this story I know to be 100 percent false, by the way) and then rehired. I still don't know if there's any truth to the stories about Sommers, and you know what, I couldn't give a shit. Plenty of very bad movies have been made under the best of circumstances, and loads of good movies have been made on tumultuous sets.
I saw G.I. JOE last week during my time in San Diego, and although I was given permission to post my thoughts immediately after seeing it, I decided Harry's review would stand alone for a while and that I would post mine a little closer to its release date. But two things made me change my mind: the first was, I was beginning to suspect that the film would not be screened for critics; second, I saw an article in Wednesday's USA Today that made me very angry. This is a non-story. There's no actual news here, in fact. Look at how much of the article is the opinion of the writer, Anthony Breznican, disguised as fact. Read the piece carefully, and you'll see that he is essentially speaking for the "fans" in his assessment of the film's trailer and the anticipation level for the film. It's a snarky piece of journalism that belongs in Us Weekly and not USA Today. The one aspect to the story that is correct is Breznican's assessment that Paramount is keeping the film under wraps. Well, I've seen G.I. JOE and I'll tell anyone that works for the studio that hiding this film is a whopper of a mistake that I hope isn't too late to correct.
This is not going to be a glowing review of a flawless film. What this will be is a very good review of a movie that most critics will shit all over upon release because they didn't get to see it early, and most audiences will devour with both hands. If I were the kind of critic that rated films on a 1- to 4-star scale, I'd give G.I. JOE a solid three stars. I'm not much of a fan of Big Dumb Action Movies; I don't enjoy turning off my brain for any cinematic experience. And fortunately I didn't have to to enjoy this movie. I was a regular viewer of the old "G.I. Joe" TV show, where this film seems to have gotten its basis, but if you'd asked me to name five characters from that show from memory before seeing the big-screen version, I wouldn't have been able to do it. What I dug about the series had nothing to do with character development or intricate plot. I liked the missions, the colorful villains, the weapons, the technology, the special armored outfits for every occasion. I guess I was a bit of a military buff as a kid; I read a lot of Tom Clancy at the time as well. So shoot me. Either way, I don't think I was particularly pre-disposed to like this movie. In all honesty, when I heard they were making it, I couldn't have cared less. Director Sommers is also hit and miss in my book. I liked his earlier retellings of THE ADVENTURES OF HUCK FINN and THE JUNGLE BOOK, and I was impressed with his sure-handedness on DEEP RISING and THE MUMMY. But everything since then has been underwhelming for me.
So what is there to like on G.I. JOE? Let's start with the film's most impressive asset: the cast. By hiring a group of actors who are actually pretty much across-the-board solid actors, they are able to rise above some of the dopey dialogue. Channing Tatum (A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS), Sienna Miller (FACTORY GIRL), an almost unrecognizable Joseph Gordon-Levitt (it doesn't help that we don't hear his actual voice for most of the film), Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje ("Lost"), Rachel Nichols (STAR TREK), Marlon Wayans (REQUIEM FOR A DREAM), Jonathan Pryce, and Dennis Quaid all put in pretty impressive performances that kept me glued to some of the more outrageous scenarios and sequences. And weirdly enough, I think I spotted Brendan Fraser in one early scene. I've deliberately put down the titles of films next to some of the actors' names, in case you have trouble recalling why I refer to them as solid actors. These aren't necessarily the actors you'd expect to be in a movie like this; they're actually better than who you'd expect.
My love of all things gadgetry was in no way disappointed. There is some truly cool stuff on display here from both the bad guys and the good. Beginning with a nano-technology-based missiles that can destroy anything and are being transported for safe keeping as the film opens, to massive military strongholds built under the desert and the polar ice cap, there are enough blinking lights, switches, big guns, and flying machines to keep everybody happy. The body armor in G.I. JOE looks like Robocop and Iron Man had hot monkey sex all night and gave birth to these metal suits. There are explosions, vehicle flipping around in the air, more explosions, and one chase scene after another. You will be thoroughly entertained by this movie that simply never lets up on the action. For the most part, I thought the effects were solid as well, far better than I thought they'd be given Sommers' previous films (come on, the effects in VAN HELSING and the second MUMMY movie were god-awful).
As you might know, I'm kind of a stickler for plot, and one thing kept running through my head as I attempted to figure out the rather complex/sometimes convoluted plot of G.I. JOE: this film makes about as much sense to me as your average James Bond film, which is to say, I get most of it, and what I don't get probably doesn't matter anyway. As for my great love of some amount of character development, even in action movies, there actually is some in this movie. A few of the characters, including Baroness, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Duke, are given fairly interesting backstories, something I was not expecting and something I'd like more of from some of the other characters in future JOE installments (which are set up quite nicely at the end of this first in a clear franchise). I'm not going to go into the plot of G.I. Joe because there are a few surprises that I don't want to bump against and ruin, but the film does indeed show us how COBRA was formed.
What's not so good about G.I. JOE? Some of the so-called plot twists are particularly difficult to figure out, and so moments that are designed to be big revealed won't exactly have you gasping for air in shock. Also, I was a little put off by Dennis Quaid's performance. I've always gotten a kick out of having him around in just about any size role in any movie, but he is barely going through the motions as General Hawk, who barks out a few orders every so often but largely adds nothing to the proceedings. Whatever you do, don't underestimate Marlon Wayans. While he does seem to take on the role of comic relief from time to time, he's actually pretty great when it comes time for ass kicking. Your entire liking or not liking of G.I. JOE may come down to whether or not you like the nano-weaponry at the heart of the threat against the planet. I thought it was fairly scary stuff, and the destruction of Paris sequence is one of the film's best.
Bottom line from me is that you shouldn't be dreading G.I. JOE. I'm not going to rush out and see it again, as Harry's headline indicates he will, but I will pay the film a serious compliment by saying I can't wait to see where Sommers and the characters take us next. Here's a crazy thought: actually go see the film before you decide whether or not to hop on the negativity bandwagon. There is a great deal to enjoy in this movie; if you don't believe me, go see for yourself.
-- Capone
capone@aintitcoolmail.com
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I'm not buying it..this will suck cock.
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To be shit
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CO-BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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From the sounds of it, in a big way. Learnt he has from the awesome terribleness that was Van helsing aka "Kate beckinsdale's ass looks highly gape worthy in tight leather and Hugh jackman is a flaming homosexual"
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and wait for sommers to show up at my door step, so the fist ramming can begin.
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My buddy is highly anticipating this movie. I, on the other hand, expect it to be pretty terrible. But now that Capone likes it, a man whose reviews I highly respect, it might be good. Capone is not a plant. He's the hardest working man on AICN, and the best reviewer ever since Moriarty left. Keep up the good work.
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Avatar looks like shit
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Jul 30, 2009 12:08:09 AM CDT
Dennis Quaid does the only good acting in all the trailers
by chrismata
Marlon 'the suck' Wayans? give me a fucking break. Quaid is the only thing this movie has as far as star power.
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Jul 30, 2009 12:11:22 AM CDT
Capone, I think you mean "aren't" very difficult to figure out
by badmrwonka
just saying...good review Capone. when Harry gushed, I thought it might have just been something he ate for breakfast, but now two reviews saying it's not bad? I may have to think about this...
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Snake eyes vs. Stormshadow for 2 hours... with some titty shots of baroness getting fucked up cobralalalalalalalalallallalalaa
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ENOUGH OF THIS COCK-SUCKING BULLSHIT!
Enhancement Suits = Bullshit
UN Style Team = Bullshit
Uniform black leather = Bullshit
Cobra Commander in a glass bubble helmet = Bullshit
Destro as a regular guy = Bullshit
Baroness w/o an accent = Bullshit
"My Bad" = Jar Jar levels of Bullshit
American Badass playing over the TV spots = MEGA BULLSHIT
Duke dating Baroness/Cobra Commander being her little brother = Mind-numbing Bullshit
"AMMMEEERRRICAAAA...FUCK YEAH!" style attack in Paris = Execs too fucking stupid to understand a movie made w/ puppets
I don't even want to continue.. Give this shit up. GI Joe is fucking FAIL! You know it... I know it.. We ALL KNOW IT! -
You knew it was coming bitches.
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Jul 30, 2009 12:21:40 AM CDT
Big Question: Do Golobulus and Nemesis Enforcer show up
by krullboyisback
as you know, they are THE most indispensible assets in the GI Joe-i-vurse. . .what was the name of the chick that had organic weapons in GI Joe the movie? Was it Evil Lynn?
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Jul 30, 2009 12:24:03 AM CDT
of course we're going to feel compelled to tear it down
by orionsangels
Honestly, you can't blame us for feeling that. We see a shit trailer and the movie ends up being shit. We've been through this experience so many times. So don't tell me how I can or can't feel.
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As long as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow flip out and chop off heads to some slammin' guitar, then I'm THERE man.
GI Joe Real Ultimate American Ninja Heroes ! -
I'll catch it on cable...when I'm sick.
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This is all setup so it makes money and they can make the sequel. Which critics will then shit on. Just like Transformers revenge of michael bay.
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BY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHLALALALALLA
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i was expecting a turd
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And I think it's the illegal variety that you put in a pipe
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a PSA at the end?
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for "1980s sci-fi soldier toy line." Only certain parts of the original line up leaned sci fi.I don't know why you care if people are dismissing it, anyway; this is the summer of lowest common denominator and crap adaptation movies doing well, such as Transformers 2 and G-Force. I sure this piece of crap, slap-in-the-face to ARAH fans movie will be a blockbuster, as well.
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i will probably see this in theaters. mostly cuz my homeboy lets me in for free, so i'll probably like it then. i guess if you have to actually pay and see the movie when the rest of the world does, its shit.
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i will probably see this in theaters. mostly cuz my homeboy lets me in for free, so i'll probably like it then. i guess if you have to actually pay and see the movie when the rest of the world does, its shit.
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...and you you're telling us that "the film does indeed show us how COBRA was formed."
Really? Ok. Cause I couldn't figure that much.
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double posting. whoops.
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...GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY before getting on the hate bandwagon? Uumm..it doesn't matter what i thought of the movie after i've given them my money. By doing that, i've given them the thumbs up for more of the same.
Y'know what i'm going to do? I'm gonna make a decision based on the trailers, since that's what they are there for, and on the opinions of critics i trust.
Seriously, i hate that sentiment like nothing else. Hey, lets make the film successful and then bitch about it. If Ebert gives it a thumbs up and 3 friends i don't consider the epitome of brainless action junkies likes it, then i'll put my missgivings aside and see it. -
This is still a rental at best.
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We can only have one overlord. Praise be to Zod!
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Is the complete and total lack of individuality in the way the JOEs look. That was what made it cool and different! Remember the positive buzz after that first released picture of Snake Eyes. How EVERYONE went "Holy God... that's exactly right". It's like the makers felt they only needed to do it with one character on each side (despite the lack of accent Baroness looks right) and they could just brush off the rest. Also, accelerator suits... really?Everything else screams classic JOE to me. Goofy vehicles, crazy bugnuts action, stupid end of the world plot... but there are no GI JOEs to be found.
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reason to hate this movie: because of the crap toyline associated with it, Hasbro has suspended it's successful 25th anniversary line.
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Take Marlon Wayans, I can believe he kicks ass in this. But the trailers write him off as a complete fucking idiot. Blame studio handling for this as much as the flamers, I think this will be fun. But I'm just not prepared to see it in the cinema.
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which is how he appears on issue #21, "Silent Interlude."
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That maybe this movie isn't going to suck as much as the trailer would lead us to believe? I'm finding that hard to swallow. That might be because I've yet to see a Sommer's film I've liked.
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Okay, I will see it first before I say the "p" word: penises.
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A masterful attempt to subtely coerce your opinion into the mind by stating all the reasons why we should believe you.
A)Your "no stake" in the movie's success statement. A classic, never out of style.
B)Your defense of Character Devolpement and Plot Lines and how they're handled.
C)Your objective critisism on small or minor parts of the film that really don't mean two shits to actual Joe fans.
There's more, but why bother. A fool doesn't know when he's being sold shit even as he tastes it. We'll see how many fools believe the hype. As for the actual film. I truly do hope there are some positive things to be taken out of it. As of this moment, however, it's looking rather grim. -
I'll be shocked if it is, but I'll wait for the bootleg.
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Pythona, and that Terrordrome infiltration scene of hers at the beginning was awesome.
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Everything will then make sense.
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Snake-Eyes...one of the most badass characters in the history of badasses and I just can't wait to see him and StormShadow go at it. I wish they would've kept some of his real origin (face exploded and vocal chords ruined) but you know, I can live with whatever they do with him...and yeah...they gave him a mouth...but STILL...I'm not a stickler. I'm down for this and I hope it's awesome as the early reviews are saying!
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who cares anymore? good or bad, its still coming out. We've seen what to expect. On with the new shit, Green Lantern!
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Ryan Reynolds pissed Warner Bros. off by not showing at comic con. But his smoking wife did. Man, oh man. Scandalous!!
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better than the cartoon.
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Jul 30, 2009 1:21:09 AM CDT
This movie looks like SHIT...and everbody knows this....
by nuking the fridge
The word of mouth is sooo bad it is very hard to believe. I think this movie looks ridiculous. Everyone in this movie looks like pure shit that has very little, or no respect for anything a sensible GI Joe would want. Total; dissaointment. This movie is NO good, it can't be, I am not going to settle, for it is NOT that bad. A GI JOE movie has to totally ROCK my world.
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I am so tired....My last message is totally mis-spelled and has words missing. Damn, I guess I failed to make my point. Except, this movie still looks bad.
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Jul 30, 2009 1:28:13 AM CDT
AMAZING HOW EASILY AICN CAN BE BOUGHT, FUCKING WHORES....
by carlthormark1978
For a moment there it seemed that Harry had gained something resembling self respect (something his wife obviously doesn’t have by marrying the disgusting porker) when he posted his rant against Transformers and how fucking terrible that was on almost every level. But seeing the amount of taint licking that Knowles has done to G.I. Joe it’s clear that, in regards to Transformers, this morbidly obese fucking gluttonous fat shit fuck was only pouting (like a lardass retarded child having a fit because he was denied an ice cream cone) because Bay wasn’t pandering to him with a free screening or a trip to the premiere. As for Capone, fuck you, because you can always tell when someone has been bought off when the first thing they do is proclaim that they have no stake in the success of an obvious piece of shit like G.I. Joe before he drops to his chubby knee’s and publicly sucks off Stephen Sommers while fingering his asshole. Given the amount of Twilight news that gets reported on this shithole it makes me think that Knowles has a deal with the studio to get a quart of Robert Pattinson’s sperm to artificially inseminate his mail order bride because she doesn’t want to have a bunch of fat retarded kids with the bloated ginger cunt who’s maybe got a few more years before the inevitable heart attack that kills him, probably while choking on one of the hundreds of Twinkie’s he stuff into his fucking Sarlacc pit of a face on a daily basis.
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still dressing at Comicon like the 80's designs, and not the movie iteration. And I doubt they ever will.There are several images of ARAH cosplayers in this gallery of pics from the recent SDCC: http://tinyurl.com/l46hbq
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This would probably be fun while drinking.
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That clip of Marlon Wayans hitting on Scarlett is TERRIBLE. Her acting is terrible. Her lines are terrible. Her character is terrible. "I don't believe in emotions". What bullshit.
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because they've been 'kept out of the loop' and then writing a fairly glowing review - and it is, all in all - after seeing a preview at comic-con seems a little odd. I'm not fussed about the film one way or the other, but there is enough in the second trailer and the cast to make me watch it as a complete popcorn experience.
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Vulcan's are all the rage this year!
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Jul 30, 2009 1:51:10 AM CDT
Why did you not mention BIG LOB somewhere in this review?
by gibsonusa returns
He must be in GI Joe 2!
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that people were dreading GI Joe. I'm not saying that it will be a masterpiece but who knew now that GI Joe COULD be better than Transformers 2?
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“Well, that’s good because you won’t want pillow talk once I’ve finished spewing my chunky dick snot into your gaping asshole and I can go home to play my X-Box 360….WAIT A MINUTE, I GET IT, you wont let me stab your pink taco with my fuckmeat because I’m BLACK you fucking racist whore, yeah I see you checking out Duke, well, I hate to break it to you honey but after working out yesterday me and Duke hit the showers and he started rubbing his poo stabber up against my ass while saying ‘let me teach you about slavery by beating your brown eye with my fuckstick’, to which I politely declined before saying “well Duke, I appreciate the offer but my asshole is a one way street” to which Duke replied ‘well, now I know and knowing is half the battle….G.I. JOE!!’.
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Please tell me he's playing Shipwreck.
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"What's not so good about G.I. JOE? The lack of BIG LOB is particularly difficult to figure out, and so moments that are designed to make their move won't exactly have you gasping for air in amazement. Also, I was a little put off by Dennis Quaid's performance. I've always gotten a kick out of having him around in just about any size role in any movie, but he is barely going through the motions as General Hawk, who barks out a few orders every so often but largely adds nothing to the proceedings, unlike BIG LOB, who would have added everything to the proceedings. Whatever you do, don't underestimate BIG LOB. While he does seem to take on the role of comic relief from time to time, he's actually pretty great when it comes time for ass kicking. Your entire liking or not liking of G.I. JOE may come down to whether or not you can forgive the delay of BIG LOB. The thought no BIG LOB is fairly scary stuff, but the hope for his introduction in the sequel feels the best."
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"Bottom line is that you shouldn't be furious at the lack of BIG LOB. I'm not going to rush out and demand his introduction, as GibsonUSA's headline indicates he will, but I will pay the film a serious compliment by saying I can't wait to see where BIG LOB will finally make his appearance. Here's a crazy thought: actually go see the film before you decide whether or not to hop on the no-BIG LOB negativity bandwagon. There is a great deal to enjoy in this movie; if you don't believe me, go see for yourself. BIG LOB."
jk.
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Jul 30, 2009 2:16:06 AM CDT
Why not just say it sucked? You say it for every other movie
by lockesbrokenleg
not starring Judd Apatow
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Jul 30, 2009 2:24:00 AM CDT
Couldn't name 5 characters from show? Not even BIG LOB?
by gibsonusa returns
You really couldn't name 5 characters from the show before seeing the movie, were a regular viewer of the old cartoon?
Uh...
Snake Eyes?
Sgt. Slaughter?
Cobra Commander?
Destro?
Serpentor?
You couldnt name those?? To me, thats like me saying I regularly watched Transformers, but couldnt name Optimus, Bumblebee, Megatron, Starscream, and Soundwave....how is that possible? -
What the fuck happened to you, man? Shit, your ass used to be beautiful!
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I hope you guys enjoy sucking his cock and kissing his ass!
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as most everyone else has stated the things they have done to the original characters quite plainly, fucking sucks. Ever since the Matrix came out, any time a group of bad asses go do something they have to be wearing black leather outfits, like it would have been irrelevant to today's audiences if they wore their original costumes. When you make a GI JOE movie, or any adaptation of a popular franchise from the 80's, shouldn't at least be sort of in line with the original source material, no?, wow I must be mistaken because aside from the names being the same, almost nothing about this film should be identified with GI JOE. Did any of these hollywood assholes see the rich praise that was showered upon The Wathcmen? I can only imagine they're confusion. "Hmm, I wonder why, that happened, that this Watchmen movie can have superheroes wearing spandex and latex constumes and still be considered cool?...must've been a fluke, WOW car chases with flipping cars, attack on Eiffel Tower, Super-Suits?! WHOO Count us in!"....fucking ignorant twats.
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It's funny to hear people talk about "wasting"their money to see any movie. Shit a matinee in my city is only six bucks. If a movie is so bad I can at least quote bad lines and laugh at the action, then it's worth the two hours. I actually will see Riis movie just because I grew up on these characters. And district 9 will dominate all these movies.
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I prefer 1989!! Bring back the miltary gear and REAL AMERICAN HERO!! :P
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I know, it was a message board, but basically they told me it was total garbage on the set, and onscreen. From the clips I've seen, the dialogue is terrible. Plus, know you are supporting Channing Tatum for Captain America if you pay for this...YIKES.
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most of them have their heads so far up their own asses, they wouldn't know a good design if it hit them in the head.
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Not after fans went apeshit over the Smith and McConaughey rumors.
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Jul 30, 2009 2:59:35 AM CDT
2 positive reviews from AICN and I'm still not interested.
by hollywoodhellraiser
Can't shake the feelin that this movie loud, CGI-infested shit, just like TFs!
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Jul 30, 2009 3:01:13 AM CDT
On the plus side Rachel Nicholas looks hotter than ScarJo!
by hollywoodhellraiser
both as a woman and redhead!
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I know, it's a show, but it's based on real life. Vinnie gets jobs depending on whether or not his current movie does well at the box office. I have a feeling the Captain America decision comes down to next weekend. I hope Marvel is smarter than that.
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Otherwise known as Capone's review of GI Joe.
How much did they kiss this sites ass?
Fucking pathetic -
Jesus, you people are so full of nerd rage, it's funny. Well, it should be funny. But it's not. It's actually quite tiring.
I'm a lifelong fan of GI Joe. While the designs of the film aren't blowing me away, I'm willing to give it chance. The clips that have been leaking have been pretty cool. And it may just surprise people. In a summer of shit, this may end up being a gem.
So...you can give it a chance or surround yourself in a cocoon of nerd angst so dense that reality can never prove you wrong. -
The August popcorn movie I go to and enjoy...I am looking forward to GI Joe.
To be fair though, that GI Joe is no longer 100% American, and that Baronness has no accent...I dont think those are minor complaints. -
Even when the prettyboy Joes are twisting around in slow motion, BIG LOB must be running by at regular speed in his basketball shirt...
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mean/imply, anyway? The arthouse/indie theaters around here in Seattle (and we have many), all serve popcorn. So, one can eat popcorn at a pretentious movie, as well as at a dumb summer action movie.
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Uh, Capone, that's what we use AICN for, hopefully to have them tell us what to avoid. Cause money's hard to come by these days. Don't command me to see a movie on the off chance I'll like it, tell me I will cause it's really good. Or tell me to go see Thirst, The Cove, or Funny People instead of this shit.
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Capone comes off a bit too apologetic when defending this Movie.And that comment about bashing a film we have yet to see, well it's called intuition or as George Lucas would often use that line in his SW series; " I have a bad feeling about this..."face it, with the noted exception of Rake-Eyes, (Ray park's casting of Snake Eyes) the prospects of GiJoe being a turd seems marginally high.Accelerator suits? Marlon Wayans is way-out of his league,JGL as Cobra Commander?!? or shall I say Cobra Commander Jr?Tatum as Duke?Black uniforms? I can thank the f@gs who were responsible for the X-men movies for that trend.It's wrong on soo many levels, even if it's not so canon (neither was resolute, but at least it was good.)RoC will be DOA August 7th.Mark my wordsssssssssssss!
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What a bunch of fucking clowns. OK so you like stupid fucking cartoon CG but the characters, ALL that makes the original series memorable, being total bastardizations doesn't register a fucking iota? This is what you get when middle aged assclowns review something they can't understand. Well when will Massawyrm be lining up with his particular brand of apologizing? Mark my words in one year anyone who reviews this film well will be embarrassed.
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I'm really going into this one with low expectations, but I also did see Transformers 2 last night on Imax - and that's not a good film. I knew it wouldn't be, but my friend wanted to see it, and if I'm going to watch that movie it needed to be on Imax. That said, I'm hoping G.I. Joe truly doesn't suck. Not that I care for the property, but I don't mind Sommers - I think he can be quite good at times (Deep Rising - I really liked - if you didn't - fine, your opinion). Hopefully this is closer to form (and I did NOT like Van Helsing).
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Writing the best work they've barely been involved with, but you can't fucking mention Jonathan Pryce was in goddamn BRAZIL? I mean seriously, let's do this right, Channing Tatum (SUPERCROSS) Sienna Miller (ALFIE), an almost unrecognizable Joseph Gordon-Levitt (BEETHOVEN), Christopher Eccleston (GONE IN 60 SECONDS), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje ("Red Shoe Diaries"), Rachel Nichols (DUMB AND DUMBERER), Marlon Wayans (WHITE CHICKS)
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until they came up with this silly Cobra La concept.Oh, and CC turning into a snake was bullshit then there's Sgt. Slaughter beating the shit out of Nemesis Enforcer (who was strong enough to lift a tank.)and Hasbro/Marvel punked out with what was supposed to be Duke's death. The Japanese version actually had killed him off.Oh, and what's with Big Lob's fucked up fro? 80's? that shit look like a throwback from the 70's blaxploitation era. All we needed was the Waka,waka sound as Lob shhots hoops with basketball sized grenades.Overall, Joe's opening sequence will always stand out as one of the best in animation.(no cartoon has yet to top it.)"he never gives, he'll never say dies, walking tall with banners high, the sound of battle cry; Yo Joe"!
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How fucking lazy is that? And no before some snarky fuck boils my argument down to that for the record thats the least of my complaints. But it still says something about the awful interpretation of the character that is inarguable.
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Jul 30, 2009 4:21:07 AM CDT
Hey! Scottie Pippen had BIG LOB style hair in the 90s!
by gibsonusa returns
And it was good.
And Slaughter beating up Nemesis was AWESOME. -
Jul 30, 2009 4:36:43 AM CDT
If yout hink Tatum is a great actor your POV is bullshit
by industrykiller!
That alone disqualifies you from speaking about film. He's not bad at hangdog lugs, whiny ones at that. That's about the extent of his ability. If he sticks to it then fine, don't fucking tell me he can play an all American Hero who people would want to follow into combat, that flatly ridiculous. Its astonishing and pathetic people who have reviewing films for years cannot tell the difference between a part that fits an actors incredibly limited capabilities and actual acting talent.
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My brain says no but my inner 11-year old says yes. It will say a lot about me if I do eventually go and see it. The difference with this and TF2 is that GI Joe at least isn’t fascist rancid garbage. That clip with the Paris-scene was pretty cool. On the other hand, I do think the accelerator suits are a cop-out attempt to put in some ‘superhero’ action-scenes
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may have starred in 'dumb and dumberer' but she also looks reaaly good with red hair. So I personally am glad they didn't cast Meril Streep.
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...I was always more of a GI JOE fan than a Transformers fan anyway. But they really should get Warren Ellis to write the next one.
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undercover brother - rave review - piece of SHIT!!Hulk 1 - rave reviews - fucked up film if ever there was oneX3 - scorned and hated - it was the most enjoyable (don't say anything, just go watch X2 and pretend its the best film superhero film ever) (same goes for spiderman 2) Transformers 2 - the venum on this site for that film almost prevented me seeing it - but i did see it. twice!! hey at least we all agree on star trek... but GI-Joe.... sorry i don't believe it's any good. and i don't believe the rave reviews here. i will see it just to study & educate myself on the future of aintitcool reviews - cause i just do't understand what is going on here. i blame man-made sweeteners
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of liking X3 (sci fi channel level action directing and production, a complete bastardizing of all characters involved, and a ridiculously awful plot that pisses on one of the best stories ever told, whats to like?) and Transformers 2 (a population control yardstick if there ever was one) is to not see GI Joe in theaters. And trust me you are getting off light. Then again if you like that kind of poorly made action fare crap I can't see what you don't like about GI Joe.
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and Framke Janssen (Golden Eye, X-men)should've been Baroness. Accent included thank you very much.
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RT EricDSnider@FyodorFish @williambgoss Press in Portland, NYC, and Chic. have been told no screenings. There's still a junket, of course, for the whores.
11:16 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to FyodorFish
Paramount insists there are no problems with "G.I. Joe." Everything is fine! ... Except they're not screening it for critics. Uh-oh.
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X2 and Spidey 2 are EPIC. The best comic book movies ever.
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Well at least that Paris car chase scene and this disturbes me...
the every end, where the 2 guys in suit crash...Waynes give the typical black guy "look out coming though" and the other guy gives a typical meathead date rapist comment..."That was crazy right? I didn't expect that"
This bothers me on a few levels, but one thing consoles me...I aint paying for it. -
That you paid to see TF2 twice, and don't pleade mitigating circumstances like your family being held hostage or Bay having a gun to your head, doesn't make me inclined to trust you. And it's spelt 'venom'. That said, I don't think GI Joe will be any good either, and after being burnt once already this summer I'm not ready to give up my time and money again so easily.
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---Harold in the past re: all things Fantastic Four, Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D, Public Enemies, Scooby Doo, etc etc. Naw no pre-judging here on this site nossir! That said-I'm happy that Sommers flick is actually-watchable. I may check it out mantinee style, who knows?
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..is a very good review of a movie"Thats for us to decide Capone - and our survey says: FAIL!Your entire critique is half a paragraph of light jabs at a few of the performances and it reads like one of Robbie Collin's shill-fest abortions in the News of the World.Seriously, how can you claim to be a 'stickler for plot' and then admit to being a bit lost by most of the Bond films? I have seen all of the big budget releases this year so will probably see this one. So far I have enjoyed watching them all except Wolverine (even T2 was a massive impprovement over the first one) but the one I am really waiting for is the big-budget all-action story of the rise and fall of a AICN reviewer who one day decides to watch a Cronenberg film and suffers a life threatening aneurysm as a result - Hubris: The Movie
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we still want a grittier GI JOE... and if this one makes money, we'll get stuck with Summers again and get another kid-friendly movie. fucking cycle of shitty movies that make money, right Bay?
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so we keep getting BIG LOB factoids.
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and if the orion slave girl from TREK is here...i guess i am too.
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Maybe on a split, with credits rolling on one side, we could have the Joes explaining a valuable lesson on safety. Only problem with that, I'm sure there will be the obligatory beyond-shitty hardcorrrre rock soundtrack blaring during the credits.
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...when it comes to HBO. Waste $10 on a seeming turd fest starring Marlon Wayans and that Tatum kid? Pfft.
I'd rather have that money go towards some iced coffees at Dunkin Donuts for the week. -
Just kidding... I'll give this a shot, can't be any worse than Van Helsing
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I'm excited to take my son and see it. I could care less about how they change the GI Joe storyline, as long as they make a good movie. And you know what? Most of America does not care about the GI Joe storyline either and I hope it makes tons of money to justify the changes.
I like the original Bond movies more than the current ones because of the absurd gadgets and crazy villians, so I am really looking forward to this Joe movie. -
that scene in which Nemises enforcer beating the crap outta slaughter was awesome. (so what if he cheated with that starfish thingy.) And i guess pippen was outdated or maybe idolized Big Lob.
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my neighbor thought that Santa Claus would give him a mask-less Jinx figure for Christmas; he wanted his GI Joes to make out. I told him that Santa didn't exist, & neither did that figure. It was the end of innocence.
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The best Summer movie? Considering all the crap that came out before it?
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. . . I'm glad Capone called out those on the "negativity bandwagon". I've always said, don't judge a movie you haven't seen, or in fact nobody as seen. And I agree, the first trailer was weak, but everything after that was solid. I'll be there opening weekend.
and even if the haters go see it (which they will) and enjoy it, most won't admit they were wrong. They'll find something to hate about it. Like, the opening credits or something.Fuckin' losers! -
Jul 30, 2009 7:55:14 AM CDT
People are mad because some action figures got turned into a gre
by jor-el23
And people want that fairly obscure comic book line to be the foundation of these movies. Idiots.
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because a reviewer offers an opinion that suggests maybe, just maybe, a dumb effects-centric, summer action movie just MIGHT be fun? Yeesh.
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If people can enjoy that piece of shit then i'm sure 90% of the people in here will enjoy GIJOE.
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yeah some points are good some points terrible. i read the graphic novel/ movie adaptation
wow. I will be there to watch my childhood get raped again. -
But I really don't want to spend money or the time in a theater doing so. I'll save my money for DISTRICT 9 thanks! Good to know that it's kind of good... We sure as hell can't really go off Harry's opinion, with the type of shit we've seen him lap up and love.
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Another casting clusterfuck. Zartan is presumibly British or something of that ilk.I have seen the design's for Cobra commander and shudder to think what they have done to good ol Zarty.the costume designer should never be allowed to work on another film project....EVER!
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Anything that has ninjas,I'm in!!! The action scenes look worth the price of admission even if the story sucks.
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If anything, I think people should have learned by now that judging a movie by a trailer is utter bullshit. The trailer for Iron Man looked absolutely horrible and trailer for The Iron Giant made the film look like a typical corny kids film and both movies turned out to be excellent. In contrast, all three Star Wars prequels and the two Matrix sequels had incredible trailers and we all know how they turned out....
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...interesting. His DOCTOR WHO reincarnation revived that show in a MAJOR way here in Britain a few years ago. There was saddnes aplenty when he decided not to do a second season.... As there's also some other interesting actors that I like in this, and the fact that I have NO preconcieved notion of what to expect (having NEVER seen a G.I. JOE episode before unfortunately!), I can take my son along to this (who liked a trailer he saw) and see what I think. I just hope it's more DEEP RISING (still a little gold nugget) than VAN HELSING (forever a disappointment) where Sommers is concerned. I won't go in expecting much, that's for sure.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was what's this that ranma627 previously said here - Moriarty is gone? WTF!??? Where? and why? I must have missed that! -
When I was 12 years old and was reading the comics. I never really liked the cartoon. It always seemed too...cartoony for me, even at 12. I liked the more realistic (somehwhat) feel of the comics. Like the fact that DUKE was brought in as team leader because HAWK was shot in the back and Gen FLAGG was killed in a the big COBRA attack on the pit in book # 16. I also remember and loved Snake Eyes in issue 21 "silent Interlude". I think the movie might be fun and i'm gonna give it a shot because of the memories I have of the Joes when I was a kid. I, however, am not going to get my panties in a wad if it's not the end all-be all film that I wanted when I was 12 years old. I mean, Jesus guys, you sound like a bunch of little tittie babies whining about every fucking thing. You all do realize that even to other on-line asshole movie blogs, you guys are considered a cut above on the whiney fucknut scale of people that will never be happy. You fuckers don't like anything ever. EVER. I remember back when everybody shot their pathetic jizz all over LOTR in 01, 02 and 03. Now, everybody makes pretend like they never liked it. Never enjoyed it, even though you all did. You came all over your keyboards over Spiderman 2 and X-men 2, but now you all hate those too. You've moved beyond turning against something to just hating everything right from the start. And you all wonder why hollywood, film directors, studios and even girls don't take you all seriously. It's not hard to wonder why, since you're all going to hate everything anyway. I've said it before and i'll say it again, if you all decry the state of film so much, why don't you start making your own? Don't give me that shit about how it's too hard or the film industry couldn't or wouldn't handle your kind of movie. To paraphrase Mr. Connery in The rock: "losers always whine about doing their best, while the winners fuck the prom queen". Get off your asses and off your computer and quit trying to out-do each other with your witty remarks about the "state of cinema" and how this is the worst year ever for summer movies and all that shit, and actually do something about it. And, no, NOT spending your $10.00 on a ticket is not good enough. Will GI JOE suck? Maybe. But no one will ever be able to make the movie that I had in my head when I was 12 anyway, so what's the point in getting pissed off at the people who actually got the thing made? Grow up for christ sakes. Snark is the true death of cinema. And you people are eaten up with it like a cancer.
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A family man has to make plans, accordingly.
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People are ready to judge this film very early because of Sommers' resume'. Also look at the movies for summer '09. All of them seem to suck, all except maybe Hurt Locker.
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Pull my finger.
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Is "MOON". That was a really good movie. I wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised by that one.
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I’m truly surprised at all of the intense reaction from G.I. Joe fans. For me, while G.I. Joe was entertaining, it was really just a way to kill 30 minutes before Transformers came on. And you people concerned that the characters don’t look/act like the originals, don’t you think a literal translation would be a bit challenging? Excuse me for not remembering their names, but the Indian dude and the several members of the team who look like they stepped out of a gay pride parade would not exactly inspire fear in the world’s major terrorist networks (although perhaps the homosexual overtones would probably make the Taliban uncomfortable). Go see this movie and help it make a shitload of money, then maybe somebody will try to adapt a live action version of Star Blazers.
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They should have had Michael Ironside play Hawk. The guy is a walking cliche but he's always a good one. Just give him a hairpiece. Dennis Quaid is an idiot.
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...due to a GI JOE movie for frick's sake? No, most people are just indifferent to it, the same way you'd be if you were taking a nice walk and happened to pass by some dog shit, which you'd acknowledge and step wide aside and move on.
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I have no interest in seeing this movie. I've had my fill of "popcorn" movies this summer.
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Good anology BTW Orbots Commander.
The fact that some people here are quick to think we are angry because this movie looks like a total bastardization of the comic/Toyline is inadequate.None of this "raped my childhood shit" it's like when schumacher fucked up the batman franchise or ratner ruined the 3rd xmen and how about other primary examples;superman Returns,Captain america, Blade 3,etc. total abominations.We have Tbers picking apart Snyder's watchmen like anal jerks and yet I still defend the movie, but without resorting to name calling it's detractors as I respect ppl's opinions (that's called freedom of speech.) even if it goes against my own. Some of you guys are worse than those who would trash this movie. (and yes, without even seeing it.) -
"Also look at the movies for summer '09. All of them seem to suck, all except maybe Hurt Locker." ... Pardon us for not being such intelligent film fans that we only like one film per season. I guess that's why the movie industry is making BILLIONS this summer... in a recession. Idiot. As the Carolina Projectionist said "Grow up for christ sakes. Snark is the true death of cinema. And you people are eaten up with it like a cancer."
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The complaining you're hearing is from people who were fans of the comic books that were supposedly edgier and more realistic. I also don't feel like they were insanely popular since when most people think of GI Joe they think of the toys and the cartoon. So obviously you're going to base a movie off of that. And that's what we have, a movie based on an 80s cartoon which was itself based on a toy.
The people who say "this is raping my childhood" are idiots. I've got news for you...you childhood sucked...a lot of the stuff you loved, sucked. Thundercats and fucking Transformers and fucking GI Joe. They were just trying to sell you toys. Now if someone remade Goonies with a bunch of model-looking teenagers and made it a slasher movie then yes, childhood raped. But GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man...all of them whores. Willing to do anything for your money. So you can't rape that. -
Jul 30, 2009 9:53:46 AM CDT
everyone here will see this movie. twice. your whining is pointl
by ironic_name
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this looks fucking terrible. i feel bad for the guys that have a lot invested in this film, you know, like the guys that own a MOC Storm Shadow worth 2k, the guys that have been collecting and going to Joe Cons etc for decades. Sorry guys, now you know how the Speed Racer and Transformers guys feel.
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I know it's coming.
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Well put, both of you. Nice to see that i'm not alone in being at my wits end with the bitching, bitching, bitching. And "I've got news for you...your childhood sucked" That was priceless. I was laughing out loud, really laughing, not just LOL'ing...lol.
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Some of you coming out here and defending X3 and TF2 but then say you won't see this? Are you trying to be funny or are you that stupid and have that bad of taste? Most of you are lying because when the movie comes out you will see it so you can break it apart and bitch about it no matter how good it is! So just stop lying it's pathetic actually. I'm going to see this twice because I don't give a shit about spending 8 dollars at the movies. But I'm seeing it twice just to piss some of you off.
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Jul 30, 2009 10:05:55 AM CDT
It's funny that people are pissed that GIJOE doesn't suck.
by ganymede3010
I'll be there opening night.
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It's really the only reason I need to see this. That is all.
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try to buy a great review from AICN? We've seen so many times over the years that all the ranting and raving that goes on here has absolutely no fucking impact on how well a film does.
Transformers 1 and 2, pretty much universally loathed yet hit major box office. Snakes on a Plane, nerd buzz was MASSIVE....result? TOTAL FUCKING FLOP.
I thought all this "PLANT" nonsense was cute, now it's just tiresome. It seems that no-one is allowed to like anything any more, no-one can accept others opinions without talking about them being bought or elbow deep in some director's colon.
Fuck all you assholes, just begone and let the (somewhat) normal people discuss films. -
when I saw about transformers: animated, I thought "hmmm, that looks interesting, I like that they're doing something new" tfw2005 and other sites said they hated it, and would boycott it. 2 years later, those same people are complaining that they don't have every single variant tf:a toy. a few years ago, I saw some gijoe: resolute images, and thought "hmmm, ellis writes the exact same character, but he can do some good stuff, this seems like gi joe meets 24, cool" the 'fans' said it sucked and they hated it because it wasn't american made animation and they didn't like it. others said 'this isn't joe' and they wouldn't watch. these same cuntbags now are whining that they want more of resolute and don't want the movie. after the flick, these same idiots will have the bluray and a hat and other shit. if this sounds like you or your whining on this tb, then your thoughts are pointless.
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Jul 30, 2009 10:11:50 AM CDT
Speaking of Starwars, I "tried" to watch AOTC yesterday
by ganymede3010
OMFG, that movie didn't age well at all. You can tell that almost everything was shot in front of a green screen. I mean all of the environments seemed artificial. They need to remake Starwars now. It's not to soon.
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it needs hot monkey sex with scarlett
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"most critics will shit all over upon release because they didn't get to see it early" Or maybe they'll shit on it because its a SHIT movie. Seriously, EVERYTHING I've seen- the trailers, the commercials, the clips- look awful. I don't like this trend you're trying to start here, that if this movie gets bad reviews for film critics, its only bc the movie wasn't screened for critics early... ... uhhhh, aren't no-critic-screenings *usually* indicative of a bad movie? Don't try to twist it around into some sort of massive agenda by film critics to badmouth an actual good film. Shenanigans, Capone. BS shenanigans.
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tells us that this movie will be pure shit... you are surprised?
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I don't think she had more than 45 seconds of screentime in Star Trek, but apparently its enough for Capone to consider her a "solid" actress. Laughable dude. Capone, you're trying way too hard with this review, and your strain is showing.
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Carolina as in UNC?
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Oh, come on, we're not naive. Buying off reviewers, whether in print or websites is standard studio market tactics. What do you think press junkets are? Studios have marketing staff on hand, who go online and try to create positive 'buzz' for a movie before it's release on opening weekend, the most crucial for any movie.
That's why you read more honest opinions on AICN once movies are already in release or are gone from the multiplexes. There's little money at stake at that point. -
Jul 30, 2009 10:20:26 AM CDT
It is so suspicious they've kept it from other reviewers.
by mitortilla
and critics, sooo mysterious. Why could it be? BECAUSE IT PROBABLY SUCKS!
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This sentiment needs to be retired and hung on a banner from AICN's ceiling, along with "you're all basement dwelling virgins," and "it's not Shakespeare." I know many of you can't comprehend what it is to have a life that doesn't consist of your ass in a seat in a darkened room, but some of us aren't compelled to waste our time and money on complete shit just because it's got a familiar brand name. Quit projecting.
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Jul 30, 2009 10:24:12 AM CDT
But I forget, this is the same Capone who made such mistakes...
by d.vader
... As thinking the museum in Transformers 2 was supposed to be the first Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, and then he made a big deal about it in his review and faulted the film for its "mistake". And after Capone's mistake was pointed out numerous times in the talkback, Capone failed to amend his review and give readers the truth. Either that, or he just doesn't give a shit- about his talkbacks, or his reputation as a critic.
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There, I said it. Prequel trilogy goes in this order of greatness ROTS>TPM>AOTC (and I like TPM)And because no-one is remotely interested the ONLY order to watch the films is IV, V, I, II, III and then VI.This preserves the Yoda reveal, Darth's real identity and the Luke/Leia connection until dramatically appropriate. It also sets up the Emperor's defeat as the climax to the whole saga.
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while i enjoyed both films, calling wither of them the BEST superhero films is just down right sillyfor starters... i'm still stinging that james Cameron didn't make spiderman and i can not stand it how spiderman turns into a fucking cartoon everytime we see him. nor do i like it how when he talks his jaw doesn't move. Doc Oc's self monologue about taking over the world and no one being able to stop him... NOBODY... kills it for me everytime. as for X2.... if there was ever a film that pretended to be action pact but in fact wasn't then this is the film for you. I'll take magneto lifting giant suspension bridges, crushing cop cars and harming people over catching ridiculous impossible jets anyday. seriosuly, they're flying at mach 10, they go into a spin and there's magneto to catch them????? give me a fucking break!! X2 was NOt better than X1.... and X3 is more enjoyable than X1..... you do the math as for transformers... besides the running time, what th hell was wrong with it? wrecking balls? who cares, i laughed at it. racist transformers? i never once thought they were black guys, i thought they were spongebobs. Freud students would have a field day with some of you guys.
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Trailers dont mean SHIT and you know it. Everyone is calling "bullshit". I can understand people not taking Harry's review too seriously, but Capone is a reliable reviewer, and still everyone is jumping on the hate bandwagon just to be "cool". Get a life people and stop hating everything. I'm not saying this is going to be the movie of the summer, but christ people, maybe it will at least be something fun considering all the crap that has been out this summer so far. I don't know why I am even wasting my time saying this because I will get flamed or be told why everyone knows this movie will suck, even though none of you have seen it, but I am sure you will see it, like it, but come back here and say how it sucked and you knew it would, just so you don't look like a tool for being wrong after saying how much it was gonna suck. Carry on.
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Is that he tries to take US, the talkbackers, the fans, etc, to task for thinking this will be a shit movie based on a shit trailer and shit commercials and shit internet clips. As if we're wrong for doing so. Really? Has Capone ever heard of that famous phrase about a duck?
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No, i'm not in UNC. Just a projectionist at a theater in Charlotte.
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Capone just plain liked the movie? I cannot understand what is so hard to believe about that. Nobody here at AICN is on a studio payroll that I know of, no one has a stake in a movies success/failure so what's wrong with the fact that he liked the film? Because it conflicts with the general opinion? Give me a break.
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I second that emotion. AOTC was the point when STAR WARS and I stopped dating. We just grew to realize that we no longer had anything in common.
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I was too busy with the marvel universe I guess. As for the Star Wars comparisons cropping up, I think it's fair to say this film has an excellent chance of being better than any of the prequel films (I'm serious). It's staggering how truly awful the prequels are.
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It's nice you want to prop up the cast but Marlon Wayans (WHITE CHICKS) would've been more indicative of what this clown is bringing to GI Joe. I'll go see this, it looks like a shitload of fun, but I'm not looking forward to Wayans' "performance".
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...I couldn't be more disinterested. It's got "I'll watch it on FX from the comfort of my couch while I recover from a monster hangover..." written all over it.
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twice.
accept it. -
Which theater? I live in Charlotte.
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Hey, i'm not saying that this movie won't suck. Chances are good that it will, BUT...and this is a big but...I have not seen it yet. I haven't seen, so I can't speak to the actual quality of the final film. I know all about the duck thing, but in the past i've been wrong about that. I thought the trailer for Batman Begins was pretty flat, but wound up really enjoying the actual movie. The same thing goes for the trailer for Heat back in 95. I absolutely loved that film. It can work the other way too, with films with great trailers turning out to be poor actual movies. The main point is how tiring it is to see endless talkbacks filled with nothing but constant complaints and endless bitching. And the absolute hate that seems to pour out with so much glee from people who have done nothing creative in their whole lives. And you have to admit that some people seem to find actual JOY in tearing movies down. That comes not from a love of good movies, but from just being an asshole. It's almost impossible to have a conversation where your opinion differs from someone else without them resorting to calling you names and insulting you personally. As if the fact that I like something they don't somehow makes me dumb or stupid. That's just hateful snark and has nothing to do with honest opinion. And if I have the absolute balls to like something they don't, I MUST be a plant. Like any studio gives a flying fuck enough to buy off a movie blog site. They know that for all the bitching, all these people are going to see the movie anyway, no matter what. That's why x3 did more than the first two, even though everyone said they wouldn't see it, and the same goes for Wolverine. Everybody here thinks this place has far more power than it actually does. It's just sad because this used to be a place for movie geeks to come and talk to other movie geeks. Now it's just a place to come and get insulted for liking damn near anything.
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I'm not planning on hunting you down to destroy you the moment we disagree in a talkback. I don't think I've met anyone here who was from Charlotte. Winston-Salem and other parts of NC, yeah, but not Charlotte.
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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Amc 22 on South Blvd.
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Capone: FFS, PEOPLE WHO HATE SOMETHING THEY HAVENT EXPERIENCED ARE TARDASSES!
Heminway: "You don’t need to eat a whole bowl of scabs to know they’re scabs."
so Im going to go with Hemingway on this one. Sorry, Capone. -
and they were all over Harry's quotes, "So crazy fun, etc.", like Jeremy Piven on a crack whore.
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The problem isn't that Capone liked the film. The problem is the way he goes about describing why he liked the film. Instead of telling us the really good things (other than the props), he wants to go ahead and predict that critics won't like the film- not because its a BAD film that he happened to like- but because they're all petty and jealous? Instead of showing us why its a good film, he wants to insult all of us who think this is going to be a bad film based on all the bad footage we've seen? His review is just way off base. If he really wanted to sway us, he should say its just a mediocre movie he happened to like, or a bad movie he really enjoyed. Instead he gave us a reprimand with a really vague review hidden within. Capone's a stickler for plot, but he didn't know what was happening here? He liked it, but what'd he like? The props and the FX? He watched the cartoon all the time, but... he can't name any characters from the show? Nothing in this review makes sense. I'm not upset that he liked GI JOE. I'm upset that Capone gave us a really shitty story here.
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The trailers looked awful but now I have a little bit of hope. May check this out afterall.
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then I can definately sit through this (for free). Thank goodness for Movie Cash tickets.
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I used to go there ALL the time when it first opened up. It was the only stadium style seating in Charlotte. That's where I saw Ep.I TPM opening night. I even remember leaving high school to fly down there as quickly as I could to catch an afternoon screening of Big Daddy so I could see the TPM trailer before it started (I came in the middle of Yoda's lines about the Dark Side). Anyway, I stopped going over the years, after other theaters started renovating and AMC started declining. Too many stupid teenagers running in and out of screenings playing tag or making loud noises and all kinds of nonsense. Not enough ushers and security to take care of such things. I haven't been in a long time, so I don't know if its improved at all. How is it now? I do remember wasting lots of quarters on that Star Wars Trilogy arcade machine there. Those were great times.
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In my late 30's I grew up watching those cartoons. G.I.Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, Silver Hawks, Battle of the Planets. And as a kid, I enjoyed them all. What the hell did I know. But today I'm mostly in agreement with 'We_Like_It_VERY_MUCH". The combat suits have turned this into G.I.Halo. What's so difficult about giving Baroness an accent? Cobra Commander. Destro. Zartan. The trailers and the leaks have shown us what they've done to these characters. The trailers have shown us how all of the Joes are basically just a bunch of army dudes (and dudettes) wearing Halo outfits. Yes, I can understand the old cartoony costumes would not look as good on the big screen, but apparently that means they all have to look the same? Isn't this what a costume designer gets paid to do? Update, while maintaining individuality.
I feel stupid to be arguing about it anyway. I know I'll go see it. It won't be opening week though. I guess it just sucks when the people in charge of making these movies seem like they only do it to make quick money selling explosions to the masses. And that they don't care whether they are being more faithful to the core product. Everything has to be 'reimagined', which inevitably means borrowed from something else that was proven to be successful. -
I wasn't saying your post was bullshit or anything like that when I made my post about the terrible clips and whatnot- I hope you don't think that. And yes, I agree, these talkbacks can be filled with vile people who DO seem to enjoy just hating a film or filmmaker for hate's sake. That Clone Wars Star Wars Comic-Con Panel was filled with pple shitting on George Lucas, though it was obvious from most of their posts that those talkbackers had never really watched the series at all. They just wanted to talk more crap about Lucas- which is why I tried to take Harry to task about his stupid comment in his last Comic-Con update about seeing concept art of a young Han Solo and how that will alienate former SW fans further from their beloved trilogy. I, and others, pointed out it was obviously a young Boba Fett, and Harry is dangerously spreading rumors that just serve to bring out those haters, giving them more fodder to lob, despite the fact that its all based on lies and misunderstandings. Anyway, this movie could be entertaining. I don't think it will be good (because nothing about it looks good). Hell, I enjoyed Transformers 2, and I know what you mean about having an opinion like that will get you a lot of shit around here. But I don't care, I enjoyed it. Its not a good movie, but there are parts of the film that are entertaining and good, but people do enjoy shitting on the whole product regardless. But back to JOE- I just don't believe Capone's review. Its NOT a good review by any means, and he went about it in just every wrong way possible. That's where my complaints are coming from.
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I'M in my late 30's NOW... so I grew up watching... :/
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You guys apparently WILL see anything. Twice, probably. I can't imagine the mindset that would lead a person to want to subject themselves to this kind of idiocy. Movie geeks are becoming increasingly masochistic.
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Geez, Capone, your reviews seem to be getting consistently inconsistent. If you like it, or not is entirely your opinion, and we understand that. It's when you contradict yourself within your own review that's getting really old and amateurish. God knows we've learned to live with the typos and grammatical errors from the writers on this site. It's the content that's suspect. You first say "Jonathan Pryce, and Dennis Quaid all put in pretty impressive performances". Then you say "Also, I was a little put off by Dennis Quaid's performance." and "he is barely going through the motions as General Hawk" WTF, which one is it?? We can't believe anything you post, anymore and your credibility is out the window.
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...is the shitiest excuse for accepting trash i've ever learned.
Y'know, the show was written by actual writers, it's true. Yes, they were given notes as to which characters were to be used and what vehicles had to be injected in, but they were given freedom to develop plots and character arcs as they saw fit. And given the longevity of the property, some of the writers brought good things to the table. Some writers, instead of just working for a paycheck, decided to put their all into writing heroic fiction. So i shit on this idea that just because the parent company is trying to sell toys, that made the animation worthless. That lame philosophy can be used to describe any and all movies put up on the screen. "They just want to sell you a movie".
And i'm not even touching the long running comic, the heyday being the Larry Hama era.
Lame-ass sentiment. -
In which direction?
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if its any better than transformers 2
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Do I spend $7.50 on fast food toxic waste that is literally killing me and not complain, but I spend $10 on a movie that is not too bad and take the time to post crazy $h!t on this site!!>!?!?!?!??!?
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--to earn my sympathy after the absolute disater he made of the great Universal Studios Monsters in "Van Helsing." I HATED that film, and I rarely hate any film with that kind of passion. That kind of HATE is reserved for those who egomanically abuse icons, like Dean Devlin and Rolland Emmerich with "Godzilla." My favorite worst line of dialogue ever: "My father died on the ocean. I have never seen the ocean. I bet its beautiful," followed by strange look from Hugh Jackman and a quick cut back to the action. It failed completely to deliver an ounce of atmosphere or even a consistant tone. Sommer's movies have no tone. They try to mix silly comedy with suspence and action in the most slapdash artless way I've ever seen. The only time this slipshod style worked was in "Deep Rising," which was already a deep-rooted B-movie only one step away from the SyFy Channel. I hated "The Mummy" for the same reasons and "The Mummy Returns" was the same thing, only times four. The Sommer's produced "Scorpion King" got me back in the theaters hoping for sort of an 80's style return to sword & sorcery films, only to be a headache inducing junk pile. As Sommers was quoted, "I don't care what anybody says. Bigger is better." He doesn't understand anything else. The best work I've seen come out of Sommers was his design work on Universal's "Mummy's Revenge" ride. He's great at designing 3 minute theme park rides. I have no stake in this movie either. The G.I. Joe I grew up with was 12 inches high and had "kung fu grip," and there was no Snake Ninja Commander or whoever that is. It's very hard for me to believe that I'll enjoy this based on the fact that the first trailer was one of the worst trailers I've ever seen and the lead's, Channing Tatum, primary acting skill seems to be looking kind of dumb like a schoolyard jock with a chip on his shoulder. Marlon Wayons comic relief: generally the less said, the better. I'm sure we all have misty memories of his masterful performance of "Snails" in "Dungeons and Dragons." It looks like the only thing to look forward to is Ray Park kicking ass. Look, I'm glad Capone had a good time. He's generally a very good critic and I trust his judgement. I'm sure this film will make a mint no matter what anybody says. Just look at the box-office record this Summer; crap rules. But Sommers is going to have to pull a Chris Angel magic trick on me to win me over.
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Street Fighter. Which was a pretty good "G.I.Joe" flick.
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I've heard of it. May have driven through it before, I'm not sure. But then, there are a couple of Spartanburg's, aren't there? One in NC and one in SC?
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Heh.
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Than "Star Trek" since she just had a cameo as a green chick for like 2 minutes. She has been in more substantial stuff. She even proved capable in crap like "P2". And she looks better in a body suit than Scarlett in those "Iron Man 2" photos. As for the movie, it doesn't look as dumb as "Fantastic Four", so I'll check it out. I remember being a kid and seeing the cartoon movie and remember it being EPIC. It can't be as bad as "Transformers 2", a movie I despise more and more as time goes on.
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I'm sure all you guys that are bitching Capone is a plant saw Transformers; thought it was good; made it one of top grossing movies (TOP GROSSING, YOU FUCKS) and rubbed one out to Megan Fox
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Point taken on Capone's review, I see what you are saying, I re-read the review and you are essentially correct, a review should tell us what the reviewer liked about the movie and it did seem to kind of dance around that. Still I am not as critical as most, as I just like to form my own opinion, I try not to pre-judge a film based on a trailer, clips, stills, or anything. I have learned too many times in the past that pre-judging a movie is not only idiotic but can make you miss out on some good movies. Once in a while I will say a movie looks bad, and in that case I won't bother seeing it, or wait til it's on DVD. What kills me about a lot of people here is all the bitching that goes on about how a movie will suck so bad, yet many of those same people go on opening night to a movie they have declared will suck, then come back here to bitch about it sucking. Well, here is a hint, if you are SO sure a movie will suck, DON'T FUCKING GO SEE IT, you have already convinced yourself it will suck so it would have to be one HELL of a fantastic film for you to change your mind. That, is the very definition of stupidity IMO.
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If it's the Van Damme one were talking here, god how depressing that it was Raul Julia's last film before he died, god he must be screaming still.
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Another action-packed movie they tried to foist on us that nobody anywhere wanted to see. Some movies just don't need to be made because nobody cares. GI Joe falls into that trap, and there's nothing Capone or Sommers or whoever can do about it. There's no want-to-see-it value.
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It is stupid. There are lots of people who bitch about how bad a movie looks, then in the talkback they come back and are like "I saw it- it sucked!" Its like, if you were so sure it was going to be awful, why did you see it? Why not be like the smarter ones around here and claim you saw it for free on an airplane or waited until the DVD? For me, I dont think I'll like JOE. Right now, anyway. If I read reviews from critics who I respect a bit more, that may change my mind. Better ads may change my mind. My friends may change my mind. But right now, I have no plans to see it.
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Finally caught that on TV last Month - was quite terrible but my main problem was my inability to see Josh Lucas as anything other than a weasely corporate fuck after his turn in HULK
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Julia knew what it was. Good campy fun. Awesome flick.
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I will probably see it only because it has me a bit interested, and a buddy of mine wants to see it and he usually pays because I am broke most of the time LOL. I go see a movie because it looks good to me, if a movie has no interest to me, I am not gonna see it just because everyone else is. That's what really gets me about these people who see the movies they claim will suck, and the worst part is they see it within the first few days of it's release. They rushed to go see a movie they are convinced is gonna suck. That, is plain pathetic.
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Was a....ahem..."serious" version of Short Circuit, which was infinitely better. Jessica Biel is fucking hot as hell, but even she didn't make Stealth worth sitting through.
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I want to read his review.
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Yeah, sadly the teenagers and out of control kids have hurt AMC here. They're trying to enforce the 'silence is golden' thing, but it's a long hard battle. It's a little better than it was, but still annoying. To be honest, when there's a flick I really want to see, I usually go to the Stonecrest Regal on Rea Road and try and see it in digital, which we don't have. I've thought about it, and I don't think i've talked to anyone on here from Charlotte either.
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Awesome? Well I don't know if I would go that far, campy fun, yea, but by no means a good movie. Street Fighter, is like Mortal Kombat, they are not good movies, but fun movies. I am just saying that is not the last thing I would want to be remembered for if I were an actor, a campy fun movie? No thanks.
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And I did.
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You know, when I take my kids to see a movie, I expect a bit of disorder, maybe I shouldn't but I do and I tolerate it. What I do not tolerate and CANNOT FUCKING STAND, is when I go to a late show, say 10-11pm, and parents have babies or 6,7 or 8 year old kids there, being noisy or running around. Get a fucking babysitter or stay the fuck home, I am a parent and I NEVER did that out of respect for other moviegoers, and the fact that kids that age have no business being out that late anyways. Funny story, I remember when I went to see the first AvP (yea I paid to see it but sue me it was kinda fun) these fucking teenagers sitting next to me and my buddy would not shut the fuck up. I finally said after being polite two times, to shut the fuck up. One of them did, the other kept talking, even mumbling something obnoxious to me under his breath. Well I got up, grabbed him and told him if he doesn't shut up that I am gonna pound him. He went on to try and act tough, telling me his friends will rush to his aid, meanwhile they were all sitting there and just looking at him, all with this look on their faces like they were saying "you stupid motherfucker" to him. Needless to say, he was quiet the rest of the film. Hey talking before the movie, whatever, who cares, but once it starts, shut the fuck up, I didn't pay 10 bucks to hear your fucking conversations. Ok I vented I feel better LOL.
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The Regal is good. I thought you guys had one digital projector for the 3-D stuff, but I guess I was wrong. Thinking back, I did see Beowulf and Nightmare Before Christmas 3D flicks at the Regal. Nowadays I go to Philip's Place, mainly for convenience, but its also a nice establishment in a good area. Except for the fact that Regal bought it up too. Those corporate bastards.
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looking at it on google earth... that place is huge. never heard of it and i've been fucking EVERYWHERE
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I'm glad you yelled at them! See, that's what a manager or usher is supposed to do, but they seem to lack the balls or courage or whatever to do it. If more people would stop just taking it and confront the loud talkers, it might shame more managers into doing their jobs.
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oh my god! you've all spent so much time slagging this movie without having seen it, and now it might actually be good? what will you do with yourselves? bury your heads in the sand (or up your own asses)and keep slagging away? yes. i think so.
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the finale of battlestar galactica was awesome! deal with it.
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I wish we did have a 3D digital screen, but it's not our AMC that has it, it's the 24 Screen AMC in Concorde Mills Mall that does. I've heard of Phillips Place, but haven't been there yet. I saw that Regal had bought them. They also bought the 5 screen at Ballantyne Village too, which sucks because they used to have a retro film series in the summer, but that stopped once Regal bought them. They stopped serving food and wine too. They still run some offbeat art house stuff though, which is good at least.
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From the time I saw Deep Rising to the Van Helsing. This director has given a consistent does of pure fantasy action entertainment reminiscent of early Spielberg. I am encouraged by the review so far from AIC so I am looking forward to this movie.
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*i* went to UNC (GO HEELS!). oh, and please spare us, Capone. this movie is ass and you know it.
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Jul 30, 2009 12:30:03 PM CDT
It's a snarky piece of journalism that belongs in Us Weekly and
by tonystarkironman
Yeah, coz AICN is written by professional journos! Try not to bite your lips off trying to get to Fat Harrys dick. His review was so obviously forced, I assume you are now the "proof" this is a good flick.
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For what it's worth, I totally agree with you about the finale of Battlestar. I thought it was a really great ending to a great series. Just watched the Extended cut of the finale and it's even better than the one that aired.
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I thought you were American? Or... are you not? And I thought Charlotte was at least well-known enough around the country, based on our sports teams maybe? It is the largest city in NC, though Raleigh is the capital.
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Heel yeah!
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They feature ONE action sequence, over and over again. The ridiculous Accelerator suits are in the movie for 15 minutes. There are 80 more minutes of the movie no one has really seen anything of. The ad campaign people have really screwed up with the trailers.
It is like if you don't like the idea of a half assed Iron Man, you will hate this movie. Yet everyone is saying the other stuff is quite good. The trailers should be showing some gunplay and Snakeeyes killing bitches...then everyone would be excited. -
If you've seen all the posts about the snark for snarks sake nature of the recent talkbacks, you will notice that you're part of the problem. Just saying. Okay now, go ahead and tell me how I suck harry's dick, and how I should be drug out and shot and how i'm a douche and whatever other colorful insults you can aim at me. Please go ahead and prove my point even more than you already have.
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Damnit that sucks. I didn't realize. I don't go there often, as its too far, but I did go for at least one of the summer retro series. We saw JAWS a few summers ago, and my was it awesome. One of my all-time favorite flicks on the big screen for the first time. But no more sushi? No more beer and wine? Damnit, FUCK REGAL. I might start protesting those theaters. Those assholes have too many fucking rules. At Philip's Place, they used to have flavored salt shakers for your popcorn for free. Now you have to BUY individual shakers. When we asked the manager why, they said it was Regal's rules. He was not a fan of their takeover, based on the way he talked about them. But damn, that's a shame about Ballantyne Village. They at least tried, having alcohol and sushi and old classic and independent films. Shame they couldn't make it. Fuck Regal. I'll only go there for the 3D flicks from now on.
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I believe Bender's in the UK. And I guess he's not familiar with Ric Flair.
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(NoDa). first time i've seen the city mentioned on here.
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Isn't Sienna Miller Australian? Or perhaps British? Technically she IS effecting an accent. An American one.
It would have been better if they let her just speak in her own voice. Oh well.
I'll be there. I'm excited...it looks like fun. -
nice. i haven't seen the extended finale. now i need too.
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Yeah, they bought out Ballantyne Village. I saw Jaws on the big screen there a couple years back too, and it was nice to see Raiders of the lost ark on the big screen again after 27 years, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail with a packed house. No more wine, no more food, no more excitement..lol. The only good thing is they've kept the art house feel to the films they show. Like they're running 'Moon' now, one of only 2 screen in all of Charlotte (Manor is the other) and they play all the woody allen movies, some of the documentarys, little movies, ect. According to the people I talked to there, Regal plans to keep it that way, but we'll see how long that lasts. I had hoped that Ballantyne would succeed, but alas, it wasn't to be.
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it was nice...the little i saw outside of her bedroom.
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Hello to a fellow Charlotte resident. I thought I was the only geek type in a hundred miles...lol.
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Jul 30, 2009 12:57:40 PM CDT
D.Vader, where do you go to see movies in IMAX?
by jackknifed_juggernaut
i saw TDK at the Discovery Place, but surely there's another one here or fairly close, right?
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Jul 30, 2009 12:57:44 PM CDT
D.Vader, where do you go to see movies in IMAX?
by jackknifed_juggernaut
i saw TDK at the Discovery Place, but surely there's another one here or fairly close, right?
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Jul 30, 2009 12:57:46 PM CDT
D.Vader, where do you go to see movies in IMAX?
by jackknifed_juggernaut
i saw TDK at the Discovery Place, but surely there's another one here or fairly close, right?
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Jul 30, 2009 12:57:47 PM CDT
D.Vader, where do you go to see movies in IMAX?
by jackknifed_juggernaut
i saw TDK at the Discovery Place, but surely there's another one here or fairly close, right?
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What a crock, why cite the lone quality movie he has been in? WTF? Lending credence to his acting chops by citing Requiem for A Dream is evidence of the overly-deferential manner in which this website continues to conduct reviews. G.I. Joe may be a good movie, but this review sounds like the "on set" visit B.S. we've been getting for years.
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Devin just gave GI JOE an 8.5 out of 10 over on Chud. The strange thing is, now I have less faith in the film being good. I almost never agree with Devin about anything movie related.
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Given Cobra Commander is Mindbender here, he can easily reprogram her in the sequel....which he'll have to do anyway...
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I loved G.I Joe as a kid and I'm still in the "indifferent" group about this movie. Watched the first trailer, looked nothing like the stuff I played with or watched on TV and that was it.I don't care that they changed things, but without any of the stuff that made the toys unique it just like another generic CGI action film.
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Jul 30, 2009 1:16:36 PM CDT
sorry for the 4x post, folks. the BB is being a bitch.
by jackknifed_juggernaut
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The only true IMAX screen is at Discovery place, but there is a baby-max screen at...you guessed it...Stonecrest Regal on Rea Road. It's about twice the size of a regular screen, is projected in digital and the sound system is killer,, but it's still not a 'true' Imax screen.
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How The Hell does he not make some kind of cameo in this! Come On Slaughter woulda made a nice lil homage and he doesn't look all that different from the 80's just a small bit fatter.
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Fucking losers.
Who cares. -
That's with road stops. That might be a bit far to drive for GI Joe.
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Their Target is humongous!
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Discovery Place, but it would be nice if they showed more than two feature films there per year. thanks for the info, though, Carolina. and yes, i also figured that i was one of the only geeks here in the Queen City. glad to know our numbers are increasing!
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They have nice big tits.
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Jul 30, 2009 1:49:19 PM CDT
There's no place like home, there's no place like home...
by davywankenobi
Anybody besides me miss the ol' days when you could just be disappointed about a movie you hoped would be cool and not have to listen to a bunch of spoiled people whine about how the movie wasn't made up to their exacting expectations? Sigh. I'm old
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What you did was totally acceptable. I thought I was bad when I snatched these kids camera out of their hands during "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". They decided it would be funny to take Myspace-Style self pics during the fucking movie. The first time I told them to stop since they were sitting right in front of me and that flash fucked me up. They ignored me and laughed and randomly did it again and I said nothing. The 3rd time when I saw the camera go into the air again I snatched the shit out of it and they were all scared as if I was crazy. And the weird part was that they were all dudes. That's some ridiculous shit you expect from teenage girls not teenage boys. One of the kids begged me for the camera back and then pulled the whole "I'm just a kid and you should be ashamed of yourself as an adult routine". I gave them the camera without the battery and when I left I threw the battery on their chair. Fuck that. It's the only reason why I hesitate when I go to the movies now. I have to remember how dumb people are.
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Capone, I won't knock your review since I haven't seen the movie, but let's get real. Many of these actors are exactly the type of actors I would expect to be in a movie like this. Let's go through some of this list again and I will put the crap movies each one were in that makes a movie like this look like the Godfather:
Channing Tatum: Fighting, Step Up 2, She's the Man
Christopher Eccleston: Gone in 60 Seconds, Heroes TV show
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje Get Rich or Die Tryin', The Mummy Returns
Rachel Nichols: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (she was the female lead here rather than a 30 second cameo like Star Trek which you mention), P2, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Marlon Wayans: Little Man, White Chicks, Dance Flick
Jonathan Pryce: Pirates of the Caribean Movies, What a Girl Wants (an Amanda Byrnes teenage girl flick)
Dennis Quaid: Yours, Mine and Ours, Vantage Point, The Alamo, The Day After Tomorrow, The Parent Trap
Although I like some of these actors, most of them are upgrading their career joining this film. Personally, I felt the quality of actors for such a big budget movie was a bit underwhelming. -
They need a long, hard spanking.
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There are indeed some wicked beautiful woman in Charlotte. Very nice southern girls.
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You should've called the FBI on those kids. Those kids could've been charged with piracy. That would've been funny. hehe
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Send some up!!!
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shouldn't be Marlon Waynes (WHITE CHICKS)
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Is one reason...a big one actually, that makes me wonder if this movie will be good. I just don't like him. I don't think he's funny at all and I think he could wreck any scene he's in.
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the guy fuckin rulez
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Jul 30, 2009 2:29:27 PM CDT
so; we are all gonna see it, it's going to do tf numbers...
by ironic_name
there will be a sequel where joseph gordon levitt has less screentime, and ebonic and snowdogs will complain that their fave character from the last one was jgl's and they will only see gi joe 2 once.
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i dont want it to fail, but it just looks fucking terrible.
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Mayimbe gave it an A, and Gaupo gave it a B. Everyone who's seen this movie so far has liked it.
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Jul 30, 2009 2:40:08 PM CDT
Rob0729, quaid = innerspace, frequency and that d.o.a. remake
by ironic_name
channing tatum was in stoploss with jgl,
adwele akimbo abbadjabbadooda, was on lost, jonathon pryce was in brazil ect. -
It's barely 5 years old. Shithead.
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losers are disappointed they can't be disappointed
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goodnight.
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There hasn't been a single logical reason posted by anyone on this forum as to why this movie will suck. The biggest hangups seem to be with the new uniforms and the more international take on the team. Both of those changes are completely logical and only a clueless fanboy doesn't understand why they were made.
This may be a newsflash, but there are some things about a cartoon made 20 years ago that doesn't exactly translate well to the world we live in today. In case you haven't heard,these movies are about making money in every market humanly possible. -
That dude is about as serious as a critic as Neil Cumstead.
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Say what you will about it, at least it was trying to tell a story and had characters that had some depth, unlike just about everything that has come out this year, zero depth, no story, all flash and no substance. It was better than TPM, and the last hour was war, and well done at that. Hasn't aged well my ass. Better than most of the shit that has come out since, with few exceptions.
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You gotta love her trying to discourage Anakin while her tits were hanging out her top. Nuts.
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Respect to you friend, I detest people who go to the movies to make a social occasion out of it. You want to have a conversation? Go out to the lobby. Wanna fool around with your friends? Same answer. Do what you want until the movie starts, but when it does, SHUT THE FUCK UP and sit and WATCH the fucking movie. I have zero tolerance for people who disrupt my movie going experience. Stay the fuck home and fuck around, don't do it while I am trying to watch a movie I paid ten bucks to see. Maybe some people can waste ten bucks to go to a movie and not watch it, but I can't, and won't.
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Listen up, pissers and moaners: why expend all this energy bitching about a movie that A) will definitely and clearly suck and B) cannot be "unmade" or prevented from being released?
Instead, go to YouTube and look up G.I. Joe: Resolute. Or find the torrent.
It is what a Joe movie should be. Violence, deaths, consequences, comic and 'toon accuracy.
Go watch it and don't see ROC. This will send the message that we want something like Resolute as a live-actioner or we want more Resolute.
That is all.
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Yea, and making sure when the creature attacked her in the arena, it tore off just enough of her top so we could see her tight little stomach and not much more. She knew what she was doing. Fucking tease. LOL
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And Fuck you. No one gives a shit about your worthless opinion you fucking troll.
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"There hasn't been a single logical reason posted by anyone on this forum as to why this movie will suck" correct 100%, the prevailing reason is "the trailer sucked" yea, that's proof it will suck. Not. Again, as I have already said, all these people bitching about how it will suck will see it this weekend, then come back and say "see I told you it would suck" meanwhile they just wasted money to see a movie they already "knew" would suck. Kinda makes those people total and utter morons.
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That part is timeless.
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It make Star Wars boring. So boring that I almost gave up on it. At least TPM had great battle scenes.
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Yea, except I would not have been rolling around the field with her, i would have rolled right on top of her and given her the hot light saber injection.
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Had great battle scenes as well. Hey everyone is entitled to their opinion, but calling AOTC boring is pushing it.
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it would look a lot like Padma's tits. Just wondering aloud.
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The best part is when Kenobi goes to Kamino. Other than that, we see the Clone War for 10 minutes.
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Jul 30, 2009 3:37:44 PM CDT
Interesting Capone how you explain your bullshit
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
"..a movie that most critics will shit all over upon release because they didn't get to see it early"....Of course they shit on it because they don't see it early, not because it genuinly looks like shit and tastes like shit..but you give a good review because you have "zero stake" in it?.... So why the fuck are we supposed to believe your "good" reveiw if you're telling us the motivations of "other critics"? Explain that one genius.. And you know what..I call bullshit on you " having zero stake" in ANYTHING review related. Every fucking review on this site comes from some handout, set visit, free passes or future favors. The fact you had to preface your review with that line proves it.
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Critics on THIS SITE admit they have bias towards certain movies. Most critics are fucking hypocrites.
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I don't see why we're talking about AOTC?
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I vaguely remember some crappy plastic soldiers whan I was young called Action Force which i thought was an action man knock off - Was this really GI Joe- I seem to remember red nazi looking plastic men called red shadow. lame.
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Jul 30, 2009 3:48:00 PM CDT
BIG LOB eliminates the need for your local karate school.
by gibsonusa returns
HONOR.
TEAMWORK
DISCIPLINE
RESPECT
BIG LOB teaches these to the children of the world. -
Now, that is a great film. Not great as in actually being any good, but it was EXTEREMLY entertaining, in a “oh man, there’s no way they would do that,”……”holy shit, they did that too!” How can any film which begins with a ridiculous sounding robot aircraft becoming self-aware and ends with Jessica Biel single-handedly taking on the North Korean army be anything less than spectacularly entertaining!?!?
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I agree, he should have been in this movie, at least as a voice cameo. General Hawk talking on the phone and we hear Sgt Slaughter on the other end. Why didnt they do that? Its easy.
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You need a new routine, buddy. This attack the staff bit is beyond tiresome.Contribute or get the fuck out.
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Jul 30, 2009 3:58:28 PM CDT
AOTC bashing is always appropriate (even in an unrelated talkbac
by i_snake_plissken
I do enjoy how people continue to argue over the relative merits of any of the prequel films (and I would agree, AOTC is by far the worst of the three). The whole point of the entire prequel trilogy was to set up Anakin’s turn to the dark side, which (with the exception of Jar Jar binks or the YIPPEE! Fight sequences in Phantom Menace) ends up being just about the lamest moment in the entire Star Wars series…..except for maybe those fuckin’ Ewoks.
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Following seeing his moves, the executive burst into the offices demanding "accelerator suits" on the other Joes to keep up. BIG LOB is still standing there wondering what happened.
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SGT Slaughter was a great cross over character. I'm sure he'll be included in the sequel.
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What will he be, 62? 65? when GI JOE 2: THE RISE OF BIG LOB is released?
Nevertheless, they had better get the real one.They can disguise/play down on his age through the way he is written in...again, lots of phone calls and emphasis on the voice. -
Jul 30, 2009 4:14:05 PM CDT
Ok, if we are "real" movie fans, should we be talking about this
by continentalop
Or this...
http://tinyurl.com/kp8t5u -
Better score, Qui Gon and Darth Maul were the best prequel characters, it had the best score of any prequel, it was shot on film (and didn't have that early digital video crap look of AOTC), and there was still hope that maybe the other two films would be better. Only downsides were more Jar Jar and Jake Lloyd.
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There's a lot of stuff in AOTC that looked terrible in 2002, let alone in 2009 and beyond.
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Liam Neeson - much better than Hayden Wooden Christensen
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You guys can't complain about Hollywood making lots of shit movies when you still endorse crap like GI Joe. You are just encouraging them to keep making shit. What don't you fucking understand?
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How's it going my friend? I am fighting a losing battle trying to get some of the ignorant people on here to see that SW:EpII was a good film. But I am wasting my time, so i am not even going to try, arguments are wasted on some of these people. Although I must agree that Liam Neeson is one of the best actors to grace a SW film. Apart from that, opinions on AOTC, at least most of the ones I have seen on here, have very little value, at least to me.I am gonna guess some of these people think TFII was a good movie, but AOTC was not. I guess it's true, ignorance really is bliss. It's just funny to me that this whole time, no one has disputed what I said when I stated that AOTC is better than most of the shit that has come out this year or even the last few years, with a few notable exceptions. In fact no one has really given a good solid reason as to why AOTC supposedly sucked. Probably because they cannot come up with one.
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that's not really an honest refernce he's been in tons of shitty movies and you pick that, same thing with Channing Tatum
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I checked, and tickets aren't even on sale yet.
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Between my brother and I, we owned nearly every G.I.Joe toy ever made, including the huge playsets: mobile command center, space shuttle, and the aircraft carrier. I was always overwhelmed by the design, scale, and amount of detail that went into that toyline. If I'm going to be disappointed by anything from the movie, it will be the failure to carry over that scale and detail. Granted, to pull that off would require a monster budget no studio is willing to risk. So I'd say if you do see this movie, check your expectations at the door and see it as a summer action flick - not G.I.Joe the movie.I watched AOTC again about a month back. I used to defend the hell out of it. After watching it again, I will say that the first hour or 45 minutes is pretty excruciating to watch - the dialogues between Anakin and Padme being foremost to blame. However, once Anakin and Padme reach Tattooine and Obi-Wan takes on Jango Fett, the movie really hits its stride, almost takes on a whole new feel. I find little to complain about in the last half of that movie - the revisit to the Lars farm, the pursuit of Jango Fett (relentless action), stunning set pieces, key scenes that help set up Anakin's turn to the dark side in ROTS, the intrigue of Dooku. Hate away, I'll stand by the last half of the prequels as being pretty damn solid, while the first half of the prequel series definitely has (as Leia says to Han in ESB) its moments. Not many, but it does have them.Saw TF2 for free the other night (theater-hopped after seeing The Hangover), and it was god awful. That forest scene everyone seemed to gush about wasn't even any good. But I digress. It was a 10pm showing with a ton of kids 10 years or younger. As if the movie wasn't torture enough, these brats, who shouldn't be out that late in the first place, couldn't shut up or put their cell phones away. Why do they have cell phones? Why did Bay include such racy material in a movie he knows little kids are going to see despite the PG-13 rating? That whole evening gave me the overwhelming feeling that humanity truly is going to hell in a handbasket. Hopefully we see a few good movies before the end. I don't see any in sight though.
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You know in your heart it is so.
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Just finished the 1st season box set, as well as the first 2 volumes of the Hama books. And seriously? has anyone done anything like this, because all of you haters would realize how freakin' terrible they were? Rhyming Roadblock? Super Merc with a Mouth Shipwreck (who most definitely does not join the joes to save the world). The cartoon was arguably worse than He Man. Everyone should watch these before seeing the movie so their mind scopes it a bit better.
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I love how they went back to the actual location. It is such a moody sequence. Then we're back to shitty comedy in the droid factory.
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Whatever the fuck you are smoking, that must be some potent shit.,p>Nothing, I repeat..nothing is worse than that gayfest that was the He Man series.What some ppl will say for attention.
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Fuck... me... NO!!
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C'mon. That tired old bit from the Transformer TBs? How does that provide this flick with any cover at all?Lookit. Simple common sense. No one should invest $100mil into a film based on (subjectively) "crappy" source material and make the quality of the film on par with the quality of said (subjectively) "crappy" source material.And I disagree with you on the quality of the comics being on par with the quality of the cartoon. Yeah, the cartoon was junk. I knew it when I watched it as a kid. And I also knew that the stories I was reading in the comics were way better than a toy line deserved. Nothing different with Transformers.
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And I have to disagree with them. Even Capone, who is usually much closer to the mark than Harry, is being way too generous. This movie is exactly what the trailers promise. Granted I saw an earlier cut with unfinished CGI, but from the 90% I saw, there is NO way that I will ever be watching this again. Sommers has spit out nothing but crap for the past decade.
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Seriously. God knows the internet needs that point of view.
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for the 10 minutes or so that it turned into a hybrid noir detective story with Obi Wan. Other then that it was as bad as the rest of the prequals.
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awesome
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Jul 30, 2009 6:31:15 PM CDT
Where was this charitable sentiment when Episode 1 was released?
by zodnotgod
Yet the Phantom Menace is treated just the opposite because its not like JOE is a better film, on the contrary, "thou speaketh with forked tongue."
Some of you so-called critics are so full of shit its amusing. -
I've said once and I will keep on saying it until I'm proven otherwise, YOU WERE NEVER A STAR WARS FAN IF YOU THINK THE PREQUELS SUCK. Simple as that.
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agreed, it is that simple
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if the dialogue btween anakin and padme makes u cringe its because ur an infantile boy who hasnt reached the age of puberty, thinks girls are "yucky"...and gets scared every time his shrunken pecker twitches and doesnt know what it means...its called romance, its sickening that when there is interaction in any action film between a man and a woman that isnt sexual, its "boring", "excruciating", "bad dialogue" ....really sad what men have become in this new century
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How much happier your life would have been in the time you used to get bent out of shape. You're all pissed like Capone compromised some collective integrity. Almost all of you are posting under false names. That's craven, and lacking integrity. It's a fucking movie review. You're all acting like it's Roe v. Wade. The fact that you put this much emotion into something someone else does for a living... that's just sad. Those who can do, those who can't critique.
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I'm not a Star Wars fan, I'm a good movie fan.
I like the original three Stars Wars because they are good, not because they are Star Wars. The Prequels are simply bad movies. -
...ON BOOTLEG DVD!!!!! No way I'm paying to see this and encourage the people making this and TF2 into making more of these craptaculars by paying them to see it. But Capone is right. I should see it before trashing it. And since I won't get to see it at a media screener like he did, I'll just see it on BOOTLEG DVD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HATE!! HATE!! BOOTLEG DVD! BOOTLEG DVD!!!
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"Your entire liking or not liking of G.I. JOE may come down to whether or not you like the nano-weaponry at the heart of the threat against the planet." Well, you just saved me a few bucks...
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The overall sense is that Sommers, Hasbro, and all of Hollywood owes you something you haven't been getting. Almost like the majority of you have an over-inflated sense of value. You aren't strong as a group, because everything you think sucks, still get's made. Any fool can pre-judge. It takes an intelligent person to speak about it only after it's confirmed.
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Jul 30, 2009 7:03:55 PM CDT
This is not a forum about StarWars. It's a forum about BIG LOB.
by gibsonusa returns
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"Star Wars is important to me, therefore it must meet these ridiculous standards!"
"Transformers is just based off a toyline unimportant to me. No harm either way."
BIG LOB would shake his head...facepalm... -
So an intelligent person only voices out on things only after its been confirmed?
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he saves all the joes..its true.
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Double standards are for jive-turkeys.
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I believe that an intelligent person should always wait to spew venom, until they are sure that they're correct. Otherwise they seem like an uninformed, unrepentant tool.
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Jul 30, 2009 7:21:01 PM CDT
BIG LOB running towards the camera with explosions behind.
by gibsonusa returns
['You got the Touch!' song blasting]
Injured Duke: It's over for Joe...
Scarlet: WAIT!! Who's THAT?? -
The more a man avoids making declared statements, the less likely he'll seem foolish in retrospect.
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Jul 30, 2009 7:23:49 PM CDT
BIG LOB jumps off the cliff at Cobra swinging USA flag...
by gibsonusa returns
Scarlet: Oh my GAWWWWWWWWWWW...!!
BR>
Big Lob: BIG LOB MAKES HIS....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" -
Jul 30, 2009 7:24:04 PM CDT
DID YOU GUYS CATCH JAKE LLOYD'S INTERVIEW FEW DAYS AGO?
by bringingsexyback
I feel for him - he's a nice guy. He's a nice guy! TPM has not been kind to him. I hope he at least had a big payday.
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/5614555/14734550 -
You guys have a cult up yet?
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Ripcord: Where's his accelerator suit??
Big Lob: Huh, BIG LOB musta forgotten to put it on!! -
To make a stereo-typical black character. Stalker wasn't cliche, neither was doc really. They needed someone that would reflect the black athlete, the way Spirit reflected the wise, stoic native american. It went over well, as all the Big Lob collector's editions figures can attest.
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Not REAL, like dragons that talk, but a character from the animated movie that "speaks in sports commentator jargon." Apparently, Know1ng IS half the battle. I guess the other half is Bad Lieutenant 2?
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so I can wipe my ass with it.
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Jul 30, 2009 7:32:59 PM CDT
Hawk: "Don't beat Cobra,BIG LOB! We're only 10 min in the movie!
by gibsonusa returns
Next time, tell BIG LOB how long you want the movie.
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He was kind of a punk. Oh well, at least I got to meet a Skywalker.
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You think I just made up this awesome guy with awesome fashion sense, and named him BIG LOB??
That BIG LOB is not in this movie is disheartening. It was 20 yrs in da making!! -
Click on Harry's GI Joe review and text search on TB handle BloodRedthe1st. It's everything you're looking for. He has valid points about the typical fingerprints Sommers tends to leave behind and doesn't appear to have an axe to grind. His review is way more in depth than what Harry or Capone cobbled together on the take... I mean on the quick.
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It's why I come to this site, the funny talkbacks, not the panting coverage of shitty movies.
Hey studio plants, to paraphrase Homer Simpson (in Homer voice): It's not that we hate your goofy movie; we just don't CAAARE. -
Jul 30, 2009 7:53:28 PM CDT
if even a fraction of what BloodRedthe1st says is
by jackknifed_juggernaut
in this movie actually is, then it is garbage. simple and plain. not even BIG LOB can change that.
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No, no one owes me anything that I haven't been getting. But if the same folks expect me to shell out cash for their latest spin on some given material, then it had better be good. And it had better hew as closely to the source material as possible given the transition to another medium. If the movie is altered beyond recognition or handled as a joke, then it is an insult at the very least. And it should be called out as such.My sense of value is inflated in equal proportion to to the investment the studio makes.Yes, we in TB post under false names. And we are as craven and lacking in integrity for doing so as you are."The fact that you put this much emotion into something someone else does for a living." Mnh. And you never complained about having ordered take out that wasn't to your liking."Those who can do, those who can't critique. " That old straw man. You moan about the moaners. Would you kindly fuck off with that attitude.
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...we get to find out that Big Lob is ambidextrous.
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Jul 30, 2009 8:04:56 PM CDT
I hope they age everyone for G.I. JOE 2: BIG LOB MAKES HIS MOVE
by gibsonusa returns
Duke looks way too young. How would they get his little brother Falcon in there? How would they navigate the age difference with 60 yr old Sgt. Slaughter? And BIG LOB is supposed to be way younger than Duke.
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...we get to find out that the number on Big Lob's jersey isn't related to a sports team at all. It is a measurement of how many times Big Lob has escaped death.In GI Joe 12, we get to find out that the number on Big Lob's jersey hasn't changed because that's how !AWESOME! Big Lob truly is.
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After Cobra cut off his throwing arm while in captivity, he surprises his captors by using his off-hand during his escape.I know this because he told me about it while doing escaping. Big Lob is equally mysterious as he is ambidextrous.Big Lob later got an upgrade like Luke Skywalker. So now his primary throwing arm is EVEN BETTER.
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You read the review and see for yourself what youse thinks.
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...but once forced to, he secretly painted his jersey number on the chestplate.
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...helmetless just like Tony Stark so as not to muss his perfectly sculpted hair.
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---IT'S A FUCKING LION!!! I SWEAR ROBBBBB IT'S A LION!!!!!!!
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Couldn't resist. Way too much fun. You can take back the talking stick.
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that the original 12 inch GI Joe with the fuzzy glued on velcro hair and the Kung-Fu grip was far superior to the 1980's four inch version when Hasbro decided to turn G.I. Joe into the Village People.
I want my boy dolls to be manly not a bunch of cos playing metrosexuals.
Tiny little 1980s GI Joe sucks dick. -
He looks like how I imagine half the posters on the TBs to. Still, no matter how bad the Phantom Menace was, it seems harsh to have to be defined by what you did as a 10 year old for the rest of your life.
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I agree with that point.... Watched old episodes on Youtube a while back. Some folks hating on this flick is kinda crazy.
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BIG LOB is a man of the people!
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Jul 30, 2009 8:50:59 PM CDT
BIG LOB doesnt walk away from explosions in slo-mo....
by gibsonusa returns
He is standing on the side helping the elderly get to their feet. BIG LOB is for the people!!
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Fuzzy hair, Kung Fu grip!!!! Right on brother from another mother. We are cut from the same cloth!
"I want my boy dolls to be manly not a bunch of cos playing metrosexuals.
Tiny little 1980s GI Joe sucks dick."
LOL!
Don't forget Six Million Dollar Man Steve Austin (no, not the wrestler douche bags) with the roll up skin bionics and telescope bionic eye.
Ask your mom if I can stay over your house!
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Jul 30, 2009 8:52:55 PM CDT
BIG LOB has no love interest, no makeout scenes....
by gibsonusa returns
BIG LOB doesnt stop the action in its tracks to say lovey-dovey stuff, as if he can stop time or something.
There's a job to be done, and BIG LOB is busy doing it!! -
Jul 30, 2009 9:00:19 PM CDT
BIG LOB better NOT have a love interest in GI Joe 2....
by gibsonusa returns
If he stops in the elevator to kiss Spock, you will see a chair flying at the moviescreen!
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What is the difference between vipers and cobra troopers? Aren't they both infantry. Please do not use "again," "granted,""basically" or "mind you" in your response(s).
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whats with the awful black suits and anti-patriotic theme and NO... making fun of the french isnt what i would call american, even though they deserve it, we all know they are cowards. the world aint gonna depend on them thats for sure.
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that's STILL fucking making money.
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Jul 30, 2009 9:36:35 PM CDT
They dropped the ball on Baroness' accent, right?
by johndillingers20inchseveredcock
Still looking forward to Eccleston and Nichols. And I've been wanting to see a live action Snake Eyes since I was 12.
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Big Lob, who speaks in sports commentator jargon; apparently created solely for the film, having no action figure or comic book counterpart, although it is possible he is an early concept of Hardball, a baseball uniform-wearing Joe character introduced in 1988.
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But this is one of the worst the site has ever posted. Vague, contemptuous toward its audience, dishonestly written (Marlon Wayans (REQUIEM FOR A DREAM) Are you fucking serious?), it all feels about as sincere as a televangelist sermon. Most importantly, as other posters have pointed out, you have some balls to bash talkbackers for being negative on a film that's had nothing but negative press, bad trailers, bad filmclips, and refuses to even let critics see it in advance, something well known to be reserved for only the crappiest of films (And no Sir, it is not because they're butt hurt about not seeing it in advance, what are you, 5 years old? In what world does that bizarre trans-substantiation of logic make sense?), especially considering how this site's posters preface news stories with caveats about how bad the film looks before seeing them as well. <Seriously, what happened? This is just a poor review all around.
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First to Shermdawg- WOOOOOOO!!! My mom works for his attorney and used to see Ric Flair quite often. I've got an autographed pic of the Nature Boy somewhere in my room. Juggernaut Jacknife- yes, the only place to see REAL IMAX is at Discovery Place. Regal has that fake Imax, where they claim its the Imax digital projection and the Imax sound- and thus the same Imax presentation. But the screen isn't any bigger. For IMAX, its either Discovery Place or that theater in Raleigh. That's all I know of.
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What the hell were you doing in Greensboro?
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man this site is such a sell out.
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I would expect it to be longer, considering he provides running commentary of everything he does.
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Director: Action!
Big Lob: BIG LOB MAKES HIS MOVE!!
Director: Wait! There are no lines here! Just do the stunt!
Big Lob: BIG LOB PREPARES FOR ACTION!!
Director: Just do it, and dont say anything!
Big Lob: BIG LOB QUIETLY PREPARES TO MOVE!!
Director: Cut!! -
Actress: Oh, Takeshi, you have finally returned to me!
Big Lob: BIG LOB PERFORMS TAKESHI EMOTIONALLY! HE STARES INTO HER EYES! HE MAKES HIS MOVE! WILL HE SCORE....YES!!!!!!
Director: Cut!! -
Will you put BIG LOB in GI Joe 2 already?? He isnt cut out for daytime television.
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The special effects show throughout every trailer look just as awful as the Van Helsing stuff. The Halo looking chase scene looks WORSE than anything in Van Helsing (add awful acting, awful jokes from the unfunny Marlon Wayans and it's even worse).
I would also like to know if a reviewer of this movie actually watched the original series or comics. I have read many posts online of people calling the original series cheesey, poorly written but it makes me wonder if those people have re-watched it as adults. It was by far the most well written cartoon series of it's time. The characters had great backstories, they were individuals (Sommer's decided to dress them all the same in the movie) and the storylines were great. The Rise Of Serpentor storyline was awesome. Much better than the plot for the live action movie. I also have a problem when people say they had to change the look because the original costumes were too Village People looking. Well it sort of looks goofy to have a adult looking action movie with a 30 year old man dressed in a rubber bat suit fighting a clown. If done right and with a director who can actually direct, G.I. Joe wouldn't have needed major changes. I mean even Michael Bay didn't completly change everything about Transformers. He kept original stuff from the cartoons and threw in his ideas as well. With G.I. Joe it's 95% Stephen Sommers creation. -
My local Sam's Club has Into The Wild (and various other movies) for $10 and you get a FREE G.I. Joe ticket with it. Buy a good movie, get a free ticket to see a shitty movie. That's the way to go! I did this with the Friday The 13th remake. Buy His Name Was Jason for $10, get a free ticket for the shitty remake.
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Big Lob is a professional. Give him a headset and he will commentate the World Series while saving the world.
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The film will be a direct prequel to Scott’s original 1979 film. This leads me to believe that the film will tell the story of the crew of the empty ship that is discovered in the first film. In a 2002 interview, Scott wanted to return “to where the alien creatures were first found and explain how they were created.” Chances are this idea would also be incorporated into the reboot. Jon Spaihts will write the screenplay, a job he earned after pitching the studio and production company Scott Free. Spaihts has no produced credits, but has written Shadow 19 and Passengers, both of which are also sci-fi space thrillers.
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Marlon Wayans (Little Man)
Channing Tatum (Step Up 2: The Streets)
Sienna Miller (Alfie)
Dennis Quaid (The Parent Trap)
Christopher Eccleston (The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Treasure Planet)
Rachel Nichols (Dumb and Dumberer)
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Get Rich or Die Tryin')
See I too can list actors and put movies beside their names however like in the review I listed BAD movies they were (and most of the actors in G.I. Joe have a list of bad movies to their name) in NOT the lone good movies they were in. -
Jul 30, 2009 11:28:41 PM CDT
An Aliens crawler flies into BIG LOB's face........
by gibsonusa returns
Big Lob: BIG LOB makes his PFFFFFFFT!...MmmmRRF! MMrrf uuurff! MffrrrfFF rrffff RRRRRFFF!! Mmmmmrrrfft! MMMMRRRFT!!!!!
[Crawler pops off and crawls away.]
Crawler: Shitt.....shutup already.... -
in hot black leather. what's there not to like?
you geeks making bayformers 2 such a huge success have no right to complain about hollywood making silly movies anymore. really... cant you wait until the third or fourth weekend to see that movie? and must you take your friends and family along to help boost the opening weekend gross? shame on you. shaaaameee...!!! -
Here's BIG LOB (skip to 3:08):
http://tinyurl.com/lpr4xs
Here's BIG LOB saving the ENTIRE G.I. Joe team basically by himself! (skip to 00:24):
http://tinyurl.com/n6wuzs
UNDEFEATED. -
dont ask dont tell
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not a movie asses
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Oooooooh, BURN.
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if my mom were a TV show i would be a spin-off.
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Like all the other G.I. Joe related talk-backs, this one is incredibly boring, with the same shit getting said over and over again. It's a shame, too, because I was sure Capone's attempt at satirizing the TB'ers would elicit appropriately hilarious rebuttals. Oh well.
And for the record, the G.I. Joe cartoon of the '80s gives me a headache today. -
does it reference the Fensler Films PSA spoofs? I have a feeling it doesn't, but it really really should
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sure had some misfires. "Van Helsing" was rather annoying and "The Mummy Returns" was barely watchable. But his first "Mummy" stands as one of the few great, utterly satisfying summer blockbusters of the '90's when adventure fare was rare and a new Indy was miles away. I loved it and I remember a lot of people loving it back then. It was certainly more coherent, suspenseful and atmospherically dense than the utter mess that was Indy 4.
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Were any of you even alive when the series aired? how can you pick apart something youve only seen 4 mins of ? dont you have anything better to do then bitch about a film based on toys? this is the reason people hate film geeks.
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When the fuck did that happen and why wasn't I told?That would explain why I keep getting dead cats nailed to my front door and my fiancee calls me 'wanker' whenever I say 'good morning' to her.Thats it - I'm going to start playing online RPGs as they are WAY cooler!
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Don't despair. Time will vindicate your good opinion of AOTC. Remember, this is the times when half og he geekry loves shit like GI Joe. This is the dark ages of geekdom, yes, but after the dark ages there is The Renaissance. Keep steady and trust Bale's wisdom.
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"not enough trim, yeah?"
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Maybe my SPACED quoting post did get a few peoples backs up here but I stand by my claim that it is the weakest of the PT.Don't get me wrong - there are a few killer scenes (Obi/Jango, the Coruscant chase) and a couple of 'Star Wars' moments but, in terms of plot and pacing, there is just too much wrong with it.The introduction of the Clones isn't very well thought out and their creation isn't explained unless you read the tie-in novels. There isn't any real attempt to sell the Padme/Anakin romance - He's a whiney, sandpeople slaughtering fascist who's just lost his mother and She should know better than to get involved with a Jedi. For Padme to say that she 'Truly, deeply' loves him just before they face their execution is just fucking with his head.
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If you married your grandmother, then your mother could be your daughter. Happens in West Virginia all the time!
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U guys suck for criticiczing da filmz. U suck! It only cartun based on toyz. i em first to say this EVER! Dere fore it shuld be as bad az possilbe! didnt know? mOvie dont have to be good 2 wtch. Stpid faggots! Get a liief. I wel watch dis 3 tiems. U all haeter out daer shuld pai da money befure you say anything@ Bad1! Pai for ticket! loozers! haeterz
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DE TOYSSS.
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U r so RIght. Y no haeter fagz understanDz this? Dat Thye ar Fagz? cartonz bAsed on toYs . Lul. wut were daey expecting shaekespere? It maek fun movie i will watch!@! maney uv tiemz!
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Jul 31, 2009 9:23:32 AM CDT
SOUNDS LIKE BIG LOB WOULDA BEEN FAR BETTER THAN MARLON WAYANS
by bringingsexyback
Big Lob is all about disposing enemy personnel. Not about bringing White Chicks sensibilities into a military operation.
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..dead? Just sayin.
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..I find both offensive.
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Visiting a cousin who lives down there, works for Wachovia. I really liked Greensboro, though I heard it's going through a rough patch with the recession and Wachovia's problems. I went there a couple of years ago, and downtown was undergoing major construction. Now, probably not so much?
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Best sarcastic posts on this TB thread.
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Jul 31, 2009 9:48:46 AM CDT
ANd here I thought you were referring to the Big Lebowski!
by snake foreskin
I thought you guys were just spelling it wrong. The Dude should definitely be part of GI Joe. Instead of Duke. Dude. He gives Yo, Joe! a whole new meaning.
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Yo Joe? Yo Mama!
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"And here goes Big Barack tryin' to make healthcare reform happen before the people realize what's going on..."
"And now here goes Big Barack pissing off more people by not inviting the apparently non-racist woman who made the 9-11 call to his White House beer meeting after insulting cops who were just trying to carry out their duties in a professional manner..."
"Here goes Big Barack with his government takeover of the auto industry - first he pushes through a ridiculous spending package in order to pay off the special interests that got him elected, then he fires the GM CEO and replaces him with another equally incompetent, but politically obedient minion, then he presides over a Cash For Clunker program that runs out of money in just 4 days!"
"Does Big Barack make his approval numbers increase in time to campaign for key Democrat congressional seats in 2010? Does Big Barack even know what the hell he's doing?"
Well, Big Lob may actually end up being far more capable of leading than our chosen president. At least Big Lob saved the Joes. Obama would have crashed 2 feet shy of hitting the creature. Obama = Epic Fail. -
to make "Fail" into "failure" which IS a noun. Yes, I get that the p0wn-ers think they are 'edgy'.
I doubt they could break down the parts of speech if their lives depended on it.
Don't mind me. I'm just feeling old and grammatically crotchety today. Enjoy your movies people.
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the lamest catch phrases since porkchop sandwiches.I hold those assholes at G4 for further spewing that crap.
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You know - a 'doing' word.
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Jesus = EPIC WINAnd from now on I'm pronouncing 'doing' like 'Boing' until our bearded ubermeister can get his toga'd arse down here and explain to me just what he was smoking when he invented the English language.
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in a post that utterly rips him as a failure, the only criticism comes in the form of a grammatical chastisement. Woe to the lovers of Hope and Change. I thought AICN was a haven for liberal Democrats. At least left-leaning independents.
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Your criticising a 'haven for liberal(s)' for letting you criticise Obama without criticising you for your views? That really is trolling up your own fundement.Next time try "BALE LIKZ BALLZ" and you might get a decent rise out us.
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The GI JOE comic was awesome for a time, and I sold my collection back to the comic shop for a tidy lil' profit before the bottom fell out on it's popularity back then. That aside, I was laughing outloud at the pointed diatribe which outed our childhood "loves" for what they were and are; corporate goods to be consumed. Honestly, I've mildly enjoyed some of Steven Sommers films in the past, Deep Rising and the first couple of Mummy Films, but I sat through the turdfest that was the MUMMY 3 and wondered why the hell I hadn't listened to my intuition and not my roomie's persuasion to see it. One of the worste couple of hours I've ever spent in a theater. So, I base my trepidation not on the whoring out of cherished childhood product, but out of a leariness to waste my time. Sure, Sienna looks hot as the Baroness, but so do, at the least, dozens of cosplay ladies. That the GI JOED ads are blurbing AINT everywhere I go makes me skeptical of this review. Sorry.
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merely expressing amazement and a modicum of disbelief. And you didn't have to bring my fundement into this! That's for me and my gastroenterologist, thank you kindly!
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Damn dark mother's basement! :-)
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and you have a point - all it takes to go from Second Coming to Satan's Puppet is to actually WIN (verb) the damm election you were always going for in the first place!I think for 'the left' it is Ok to get behind a politician UNTIL they get elected as they are just a means of overthowing any current regime - then they become the power that gets criticised.On the whole though this is a good thing - a leader without critics sits uncomfortably with me.
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sorry if someone mentioned this but last night i saw a tv spot and Baroness actually says that line, i thought that was funny. sorta like how they forced "more than meets the eye" into Transformers, albeit that happened twice in their case.
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I'd even argue that the ROTS effects looked better than Star Trek's.
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Did you suck Summers cock before or after he fucked AICN in the ass?
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Followed by AOTC.
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"I'm not a Star Wars fan, I'm a good movie fan.
I like the original three Stars Wars because they are good, not because they are Star Wars. The Prequels are simply bad movies."
My point exactly, you are not a Star Wars fan so your opinion is irrelevant. I am a Star Wars fan because I love the universe, characters et all. I love the prequels, flaws and all.
Just because you think they are "bad" is just one mans take. Doesn't make it true, or the gospel.
I think "The Two Towers" is a boring piece of shit, but also I'm not a Ring fans so that may factor in. I can admit it.
I'm a fan of JOE and I hope I like the film, but Sommers is a kiss of death. -
AOTC worst special effects? The hell it does? There some real bitter pricks in here.
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Aug 05, 2009 12:42:58 AM CDT
CAUSE I'M PROUD BIG LOB's AN AMERICAN.............
by gibsonusa returns
...WHERE I KNOW HE FIGHTS FOR ME
AND I WONT FORGET THE THE MOVES HE MADE
TO SET THE OTHER JOES FREE
AND I GLADLY STAND UP! NEXT TO HIM AND REMEMBER STILL TODAY
CAUSE THERE AINT NO DOUBT I LOVE THIS LAAAND
BIG LOB's FROM USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
[tear]
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Hey,
I used to manage at Ballantyne Village and book all the retro films, and I agree that it does really suck that Regal bought them. They also laid off the entire staff. Luckily I found another theater in town. I'm the GM at the Ayrsley Grand now on S. Tryon. You should go there instead. It's independently owned, has a 3D projector, AND still gives free seasonings for the popcorn! AY-OH! -
Check out my latest blog post >> I can prove it's a chick flick!
www.digitallyblonde.com
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