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There's A Script Review For xXx: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE Online!!
Merrick here...
The Latino Review dudes have themselves a review of the script for xXx: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE.
This concept was designed to return Vin Diesel to the xXx franchise. Rob Cohen was, at one point, slated to come back to direct the project (he directed the first xXx film) - but it's not clear if this will actually happen as he recently jumped to another movie called MEDIEVAL (details HERE).
So Vin's Xander Cage character is back, so is Sam Jackson's Augustus Gibbons. Seems their objective this time is to chase down a bushel of missing Russian nukes.
Mr. Jackson lays down the situation. They need Vin’s help. Why him? He takes Diesel down to a Level 48 holding cell where Vin sees…Vin 2! Or someone who looks exactly like Vin, except with a combover and a British accent. Vin 2 is actually an international criminal known as “The End” who has ties with the Russians that stole the nukes! They need Vin 1 to impersonate Vin 2 to get the Russians to tell them where the missiles are.
[EDIT]
XXX: The Return Of Xander Cage is what it is: A big silly action movie. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be held to any standards. I’ve read tons of “big silly action scripts” and you can’t just throw any of them up on screen. There are degrees of quality here. The main problem with XXX is that we get to a point where we’re not clear what the characters are trying to do. We know their ultimate goal is stop the nuke sale, but how do they plan to do it?
...says the review, whose entirety you can find...
HERE!!!
Mr. Jackson lays down the situation. They need Vin’s help. Why him? He takes Diesel down to a Level 48 holding cell where Vin sees…Vin 2! Or someone who looks exactly like Vin, except with a combover and a British accent. Vin 2 is actually an international criminal known as “The End” who has ties with the Russians that stole the nukes! They need Vin 1 to impersonate Vin 2 to get the Russians to tell them where the missiles are.
[EDIT]
XXX: The Return Of Xander Cage is what it is: A big silly action movie. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be held to any standards. I’ve read tons of “big silly action scripts” and you can’t just throw any of them up on screen. There are degrees of quality here. The main problem with XXX is that we get to a point where we’re not clear what the characters are trying to do. We know their ultimate goal is stop the nuke sale, but how do they plan to do it?
HERE!!!
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+ Expand All
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Oh my god. A Brit!
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Well...I'd be happier if Cohen had returned. I like his schtick. But Vin doing 'Vin' is good value (god...that brings up an unholy image!)
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a sequel to 2 films nobody liked or wants more of.
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are latino Review ALWAYS scooping AICN's ass?
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I kept waiting for someone to say "Naw, just kidding!"....but it never happened!
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Finally! I hope this catches on.
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I mean, seriously.
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going back to all those franchises he said he was too good for years ago.
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It was more fun and less "OMG, can you believe how cool and extreeeeeeeeeeeme we are" than part 1. I even liked Ice Cube a little bit more than Xander Cange. They should make a XXX sequel, where they work together. (or...against each other?)
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WAAAAY cooler character compared to Xander cage. Diesel keeps talking about finishing the trilogy but if it happens I'm sure it will be a budget/ straight to video thing. I'd be ok with that, I just want the story concluded.
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This I gotta see. This just has "embarrasing train wreck of fail" stamped all over it.
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Scrap it and don't waste the money.
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...that each film would have a new XXX agent; obviously the relative failure of the 2nd pretty much ended that hope. Still Vin doing Vin is great stuff so bring it on. Just no mincing around in a fur coat this time.
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oh boy,how happy i get when my predictions come true.
anyway i like vin diesel but the 80s are over.he should take lessons from statham and know his place in the industry.
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*Bitches come pouring out of a hole in nearby wall*
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...that came up with this one?
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Holy shit. I remember watching it and thinking, "hey, this isn't the greatest but it's not THAT bad. Why all the negative reviews?"
And then... the movie... JUST FUCKING ENDS OUT OF NOWHERE AAAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! -
Ugh. Should be funny for about 30 seconds. Diesel should avoid this like the plague. I'm all for him getting back to action, but they surely can come up with a better plot device than this. Besides, evil twins have never been more amusing than on the 80s Knight Rider series. You have to be of the same caliber as the Hoff to pull that off, and Vin just doesn't have the chops.
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Didn't they specifically say in XxXXxxxxXXXxxxxx the sequel of second suckiness that the bad guys killed off the original XxxXXXxxxXXXxXxX?
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Bitches come. No, bitches leave. On second thought, bitches come. Nah, you're all annoying. Bitches leave. Bitches come. That was just a joke. Really bitches leave. Bitches come. Why do you keep doing what I say? Bitches leave. WAIT! Bitches come. I could do this all day. Bitches leave.
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I'd be curious to see the longer director cut that actually explains what the fuck is happening. As it stands now, it's not as bad as the reviews, is hard to follow but has a great deal of potential depending on what's sitting on the cutting room floor.
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I never thought I'd see the MOON OVER PARADOR/DAVE plot device used in a big, dumb action movie. And Diesel as an Englishman? Holy Christ, this could be cinematic genius. The Riff Trax on this thing could be epic.
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Just a theory with no evidence whatsoever, which means it perfectly belongs here on the talkbacks.
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Let's not start that script nonsense for a XXX movie.
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WTF happened to Frisky Dingo?
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directors who feel that their production has been sabotaged, as perhaps happened with "Babylon A.D." (didn't see it) decide to sabotage back at the producers and deliberately turn in a mutilated final cut.
That's what I'd do. But I'm moderately psychopathic.
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Funniest terror group ever.
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Makes me sick. What odds will anyone give me that this WON'T be a bag of shit?
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It's not like the film has any chance of being good.
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you can watch "STATHAM FLYING SIDEWAYS HOLDING GUNS"?
Fucking edit button! -
He's such a piece of shit, I can't understand why anyone likes him. He'll start in absolutely ANY piece of shit you throw in front of him, as long as you can pay him for it. And he guaran-fuckin-tees he will give you the exact same he performance he gave in the last 30 movies he's been in. Could he try any less? He's not even badass, he's just loud and annoying. I hate him so much. rant over.
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Like dick van dyke in marry poppins
that would actually be pretty funny to see -
Or is it on the same weekened as Hong Kong Phooey: The Movie? I just want to know so I can buy tickets. (dropping the sarcasm) It's a damn shame that these movies are all going to be made.
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This has gotta be the least necessary sequel ever conceived, obviously vin diesel is desperate for some sort of comeback but come on! xXx2 is a terrible film yet somehow manages to be about 500 times better than the first one! without a doubt some of the most horrendous dialogue ever commited to celluloid:
I live for this s@%t!
Its not as cold as your heart... if you had a heart
Fair enough the second example there isnt verbatim but i sure aint gonna watch that tripe again just to ensure my talbalk quote is accurate! DO NOT MAKE THIS MOVIE -
The great boss villain in Metal Gear Solid 3...I accuse XXX3 of being a RIPOFF
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the first xxx was a rather generic action movie, but i think vin diesel has a good onscreen prescense. he's a good action star. i hope that hannibal movie gets made.
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I agree. Babylon A.D. was fairly good up until the last 10 minutes. Before that, I'd say it was a pretty interesting SF movie.
And, DerLanghaarige, I'll agree with you, too. There's not a chance in hell I'd EVER try to watch one of their video reviews. What a waste. Hopefully those have turned out to be a failed experiment. -
..."the dumb little brother of Children Of Men" or "a great movie, screaming for help within a not so good movie".
It's entertaining, but yes, the ending kills pretty much everything. It's not WHAT happens, but HOW it happens. -
yawn....direct to dvd city
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He was my favorite Buffy character!
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the guy thats supposed to playing KATO in the Green Hornet:KWAN SANG-WOO, a korean dude. I ain't got no problem with koreans, but damn. Why not Simon or Philip Rhee? I thought Kato was supposed to outshine everyone else? The draw is suppose to be KATO. That's the whole damn joke. WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?
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WHO GIVES A FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? Let me hear it, TB'rs..........yeah baby. That's right. NO ONE, that's who. Fuck, this is non-news guys. You're better than this. Give me something I can give the slightest fuck about. Bring back Script Girl, I can stare at her, ahem, videos for hours. Well, normally about 3 and a half minutes if I'm honest (if you don't include the wipe-up time afterwards anyway.) And for the record, anything with Vin Diesel in is not news unless it is a new Riddick movie, or he's just been cast as the new Judge Dredd. Other than that, not interested.
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Jul 28, 2009 5:08:09 PM CDT
i'll just wait for The Iron Giant CGI, live action remake
by theycallmemrtibbs
Instead of a robot it would be a Giant sized Vin Diesel stomping all over a miniature set.
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that's beyond retarded. For that too work Vin would have to forgo his look and voice, which is sorta all he's got. Fucken genius!
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Well, I can't wait, and I do't have to explain myself to none of you motherfuckers - I loved the first xXx and I will NOT apologise for it.
Oh, and an American playing a British bad guy? Well, at least THAT'S original.
That said, I'd much, much rather see a new RIDDICK movie than another xXx, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Any Action Vin is better than no Action Vin.
But seriously. RIDDICK VS PREDATOR NOW!!! -
HOw come no linky for it yet http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-GB&vid=bd36a91e-9a36-4814-ba1f-6b3c5593a679&from=homepage_carousel
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Universal has again pushed back The Wolfman. The new date is February 12, 2010. I'm trying extremely hard not to take that as a bad sign.
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YEEEEAAAHHH
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Question: How could you like 2 better than 1?
Answer: You're fucking stupid.
I know both suck, but c'mon man, have some standards. -
please?
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Jul 28, 2009 6:55:27 PM CDT
Wolfman got pushed back for being "too artsy" and dark
by spectrebeeyatch
Wtf does that even mean? And whoever said that can go fuck themselves. I want Wolfman now! I also want a Kato I care about and I want... Anarchy 99! I'll rewrite xXx2 or 3 whatever this is and I promise you guys will like it.
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since Pitch Black? Nothing. Not that
it matters but I heard Vin sucks Riddick. -
...but at least it's not as mind-numbingly stupid as watching reality TV.
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Jul 28, 2009 7:59:02 PM CDT
GRindhouse: Theatrical Cut Available on Netflix Streaming!!!!
by henry fool
just thought you should let your readers know that the double feature, theatrical cut version of Grindhouse is available for viewing over Netflix Instant Streaming service.
It's not an HD quality stream but it's still looks all right. I'm watching it on XBOX Live on a 61" Samsung with 1080p resolution. The quality of the picture is a little blurry but not bad and its in letterbox format. The grainy style the film was shot it makes it watchable in this format.
I'm one of the few who saw this one in the theater and will always maintain that you haven't really seen this movie unless you get it in its double feature format. As far as I know, this is the first time its been available in original cut since its all too brief theatrical run.
I hope this means they're planning a Blue Ray release soon! -
I need the talkbackers to tell me what to think cause I cant make up my mind about it.
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so they can recast the lead role with Zac Effron and turn it into a tweeny coming (cumming) of age romp to really get the 'braindeadteenagebitchwithzerotaste' audience that movie execs are going nuts over.
Hollywood shall now systematically go back and alter every movie ever made to give it some sort of stupid teenage plot - dance competitions, makeovers, proms, anything can happen so long as you believe!!! - the new cut of Robocop really intrigues me. Shia LaBeef's Murphy is really bummed out because he's a normal kid with normal problems who just can't catch a break. He's served so badly by Clarence Bodicker (played by that kid from Year One) in a dance contest he requires cybernetic enhancement. He can then win the dance contest because he can robot dance Dick Jones out a window (Dick Jones played by Miley Cyrus).
It will suck. -
Leave this franchise alone already.
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Jul 28, 2009 10:13:43 PM CDT
Hey AICN guys - kill the Talent Hunter ads. It's a scam.
by juansanchez
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I'm not kidding... My Favorite Spy or something like that. He was a guy forced to impersonate a suave spy who looked just like him. Vin Diesel is now making fucking STRAIGHT VERSIONS of 60 year-old Bob Hope movies???
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Big Momma's House 2!!!
Just kidding, I'm off to repeatedly slam my head into a brick wall. -
nitwits and cabbage heads will be excited to hear this news. Hopefully they'll all go do some meth, get in their souped-up dodge neons, and drive real fast off a fucking cliff.
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Work that into the opening credits and you've got a movie.
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Tell me that wont sell....
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Didn't really like the first one. Didn't bother to watch the second. Don't care about a third.
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Coolest fucking character to ever grace the big screen & small screen, if you haven’t played Riddick on the 360 you are not only missing a fucking fantastic game but also a brilliant prequel to Pitch Black using the original cast wrapped up in a superb story
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The guys not in demand and is total fucking prick to work with.
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never liked the first one anyway.Another Riddick? yeah but this faux secret agent extreme extrodinaire bullshit? fuck no.
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I know it doesn't matter because it is a Vin Diesel movie....but in XXX2 didn't they kill Cage on the beach in BoraBora.
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when he was interviewed by Jonathan Ross in the UK, I'd liken it to Dick Van Dyke's in Mary Poppins.
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If we need another x movie, let's have the X-tacles instead.
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Meanwhile, in more interesting news...
by The Garbage Man Jul 28th, 2009
06:11:50 PM
Universal has again pushed back The Wolfman. The new date is February 12, 2010.
I'm trying extremely hard not to take that as a bad sign.
I recently spoke to a friend who worked on the wolfman who told me that they had to do $35 million worth of reshoots because the action scenes were terrible! He also said it was shaping up to be terrible, hammy acting, terrible production design, and apparently everyone on set was snickering when Benicio Del Toro was doing his big dramatic werewolf howling scenes, sounds pretty bad!! -
Jul 29, 2009 12:14:30 PM CDT
XxX: 40% Of Our Box Office Comes From Confused Perverts"
by cletus van damme
Word
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You know he did.
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just read the full review at latinorveiw. im at a loss for words. that movie sounds unbelievably bad. thats all i can say. im speachless... who could greenlight something like that? how do these unbelievably terrible movies get made? and how can the person who wrote it call themself a scriptwriter with a straight face?
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The first one sucked, and the 2nd one was horse shit piled on human vomit, and cow piss!
And I'm being polite because children maybe reading this. -
if they go back to the atmosphere and feeling of the fist film, I would be interested. But the second film had some of the worst dialog, and some of the worst "writing" I have ever seen in a film. The second is one of my all time detested films.
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Is that still operative?
Or have all the Xtreme sports aficionados perished while performing Xtreme sports?
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