I am – Hercules!!




Word to the “Stargate Universe” showrunners: THIS is how you put on a funny panel, you assholes!

My live Twitter report from the “Lost” panel Saturday morning, ultragonzo-style with most typos and horrible punctuation fully intact:

In my first real line of the con, if you don't count Starbucks.
Got in line for 11am LOST panel at 10am Looooooooooong fucking line. At least itls overcast so the geekstink does not yet overwhelm.

now in LOST

Hilarious youtube parodies being shown, including an OC takeoff and a jack/sawyer brokeback

Cuse pulls the final page of the series finale out of his ankle holster!

Lindelof: there could be many characters in season six we haven't seen since the first season.

Gaptoothed guy from Human Giant hilarous pretending to have waited in line six months to give darlton velvet painting i'll describe later

POST-PANEL UPDATE: It was a mammoth painting of Cuse and Lindelof posing with their arms around a polar bear.

daniel will be back

now playing hilarious macgruberish title sequence

POST-PANEL UPDATE: If this is not on the DVD I will be most sad.

Now a commercial with hurley as owner of Mr. Cluck.

America’s most wanted guy featuring story on Katherine Austen

This panel already worth the hour in line

Jorge’s in question line claiming darlton not returning his calls

The last time I trusted you guys you said niki and paulo would be awesome, says Jorge.

Michael emerson ushers jorge away from mike for asking too manny questions

Emerson to Garcia: Oh, I forgot about the huge gap between you and the character you play.

Now footage of emerson auditioning for hurley! Doing great impression of garcia

Look for the alpert flashback next season

Elizabeth mitchell confirmed for final season

POST-PANEL UPDATE: Mitchell will also be in “V” just as Dominic Monaghan will also be in “FlashForward,” all ABC shows.

Bob Stencil, superfan, feigns nosebleed during his question

He steadies himself with his "constant": a Dharma Beer

Clip: “Richard Alpert's not immortal, you are,” says Carbonell to mirror while applying eyeliner.

POST-PANEL UPDATE: Nestor Carbonnell doesn’t really use eyeliner, he just has naturally awesome lashes.

Source of swan station groceries will be addressed this season

Not a lot of dharma stuff in the final season

Josh halloway tasers lindelof (thinking he's jj abrams) then makes lurch/frankenstein jokes at cuse's expense

Emerson reads ' final page,' which turns out to be the last page of HEROES

POST-PANEL UPDATE: Things not looking good for Peter Petrelli!

Now Oscar-style tribute to the lost dead. BIG cheers for Eko!

POST-PANEL UPDATE: Unlike the Oscars, the “Lost” panel gave us footage of everybody actual (usually super-violent) demise.

Monahan just took the stage

End

Footage:

Fakery:

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Season Eight: Volume Five!!

Hrm.

CLICK HERE!! HURRY!!!

CHEAPER THAN USED!!
CHEAPER THAN THE DVD!!!
$9.99: Kubrick's 2001 On BLU-RAY!!
Hercules-Certified: One Of The
Greatest Movies Ever Forged!!

$11.99: Eyes Wide Shut Blu-ray!!
$12.99: Clockwork Orange Blu-ray!!
$12.99: The Shining Blu-ray!!
$19.99: Dr. Strangelove Blu-ray!!