July 14, 2009, 2:23 a.m. CST
by Droogie Alex
July 14, 2009, 2:24 a.m. CST
July 14, 2009, 2:24 a.m. CST
by Droogie Alex
He's from my mom's hometown in Maine.
July 14, 2009, 2:29 a.m. CST
by The Fear
It read like a half-assed version of The Stand written by King imitators. Easily his worst.
July 14, 2009, 2:43 a.m. CST
Everything else is just taking up time. I thought 'Cell' was ok, I wouldn't say it sucked. Like many King adaptations, the ending would have to be changed on screen. Just get DT done before all the beams collapse.
July 14, 2009, 2:50 a.m. CST
and so shall this.
July 14, 2009, 3:09 a.m. CST
I keep hearing it's gonna be a movie, it's gonna be a mini-series blah blah blah. So where are we with it at the moment? Who - if anyone - is working on it?<p>Do I have to wait for Stephen King to die, before anyone actually gets around to adapting his best series of books in years?
July 14, 2009, 3:39 a.m. CST
Keep Mick Garris far away. I'd relly like to see a good miniseries based on one of King's works in my lifetime. The Cell may be no Stand, but before the obscure showdown it was a pretty awesome Romero Hommage. <p> Only HBO, Showtime or maybe Starz could do it true justice. Unfortunately unlike Dark Tower, The Stand or It I don't see a chance HBO will be interested.<p> F/X isn't in the miniseries business. AMC won't be interested in that kind of genrestuff. That leaves only SyFi, TNT or ABC/NBC. Syfi is to cheap. The networks can't show the necessary gore. Seems like TNT is the best chance, but they don't have a good track record with King adaptions(Salem's Lot, Nightmares&Dreamscapes).
July 14, 2009, 3:40 a.m. CST
Not that I have a hankering to see an Eli Roth movie anytime soon, but a watered-down network mini? really?
July 14, 2009, 3:45 a.m. CST
The Abrams gang has the rights and Lindelof will start working on the script after Lost is done. They plan to make it a 7 movie franchise but I believe that when I see it. <p> I would be more than happy if they can make it a big budget trilogy. A HBO series with 5-7 season a 12 episodes would be even better.
July 14, 2009, 4:06 a.m. CST
agree 100% about 'dark tower'.<br><br> as for 'cell', having read the book the explanation for the 'zombies' gets a little cheesy (imo) as the plot unfolds. As a result, I think this is maybe better as a miniseries, as opposed to a feature.
July 14, 2009, 4:18 a.m. CST
I would watch movies based on the first four books, but not the last three which were mostly pointless and not good.
July 14, 2009, 4:36 a.m. CST
Okay I forgot until it was all over that the talkbacks on those 24 hour DVD sales are disabled, when I made this comment about the TV show "Leverage". Luckily I copied what text I wrote before I sent -- so one way or another this is gettin seen, dammit!!<br> <br> Anyway, regarding LEVERAGE, it's by no means "great. I mean if you want the group con thing done well in a series, look no further than BBC's HUSTLE. HUSTLE is in a whole other stratosphere in terms of qualit, from top to bottom. But, to me at least, even an average show about scammers and con men is way above most else where's out there, and just as welcome in my home. The worst element probably is the black guy's character (the resident techie/hacker), he constantly does this horrible charicature basically of Will Smith's MIB/ID4/WILD WILD WEST character(s), all pretty much the same anyway -- take your pick. And that got VERY old watching Smith do it a decade ago, so it's even more annoying now. I'd love to ask the actor of this angle is something he's actively trying to mimic.
July 14, 2009, 5:18 a.m. CST
It's John Harrison, not Mike.
July 14, 2009, 5:24 a.m. CST
My initial impression of when I read the book? I wanted to take to the streets and organize a mass book burning!! Yeah, the Novel sucked THAT bad and the ending was fucking stupid as well. This book being turned into a Mini-series? Gee..well..you know Sci Fi changed its named to suck-ass SyFy and they are known for producing some really gawd awful "Made for..." Movies....
July 14, 2009, 5:37 a.m. CST
July 14, 2009, 6:18 a.m. CST
A four hour two part movie. I HATE when tv channels advertise a "miniseries" then tell me part 1's on Sunday and the thrilling conclusion is on Monday. It shouldn't be called a miniseries unless it has a minimum of 4 parts to it. And I like the beginning of Cell but after a while it dwindled down to just another SK novel. He's been trying not to fall into the same old SK story ruts but sometimes he can't help it. I'm waiting for Duma Key with Jeff Fahey and his Lost beard.
July 14, 2009, 7:13 a.m. CST
You nailed it.
July 14, 2009, 7:18 a.m. CST
...Didn't they make fun of this concept in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"?
July 14, 2009, 7:20 a.m. CST
by Nasty In The Pasty
Unless they age Jake up, you can't have a series of a movies with a 12-year-old character, because he'll age too damn quick. Remember that they had to write WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALTTTTTTTTTT out of Lost after season one because of this. A series of seven movies would take at least a decade to realize, and the actor playing Jake would be in his mid-20s by the time it wrapped up.
July 14, 2009, 7:53 a.m. CST
July 14, 2009, 8:01 a.m. CST
The man's name is John, not Mike. Eli Roth has been off of Cell for awhile now. Get the facts straight before posting!
July 14, 2009, 8:02 a.m. CST
My guess is it will air on NBC's "Survival Sundays". Or is it too original a story for that?<p> tangcameo, I agree. The Winds of War was a miniseries; War & Remembrance was a miniseries; North & South was a miniseries; Roots was a miniseries. A two-part movie is a two-part movie. <br>It's like sportscaster who talk about a team winning 2 games in row as a "winning streak". No, that just means they managed to go two games without losing one.
July 14, 2009, 8:10 a.m. CST
I can't imagine the mini-series would be any better. Of course, I'm sure whatever Roth would've done with it would've been worse.
July 14, 2009, 8:14 a.m. CST
Yeah, pretty much. I mean, its a fucking zombie story for christ's sake. granted its zombies with telekenetic powers, but still a zombie story. How much could you really show, even on Sci-Fi?<BR><BR>I just hope the writers give the story an actual ending. Even a supremely fucked up one like "The Mist" would be fine.
July 14, 2009, 8:24 a.m. CST
Fuck this rehashed King shit, make some Charles Stross movies. <p> You want horror do the LAUNDRY stuff, hard scifi he has that too. <p> Time to expand beyond the go to guys.
July 14, 2009, 8:27 a.m. CST
More like hard scifi. Allen Steele had a some decent books regarding Hive minds. Charles Stross mentions them. <p> Zombies would actually be mindless powered by base desires like hunger. <p> Hive minds are different, maybe Borg like maybe not.
July 14, 2009, 8:31 a.m. CST
Leverage does have some interesting geek jokes. The Orange soda for one and the Klingon role playing IT guy thing. <p>At least it is entertaining and doesn't have an overestimation of itself like LOST/HEROES/24 does.
July 14, 2009, 8:40 a.m. CST
by Leto III
...a.k.a., "Screwdriver-in-the-Ear Zombie" from Romero's original DAWN OF THE DEAD. Still, I'm suddenly more interested in this project now that Harrison's involved than I ever was with Roth attached, oddly.
July 14, 2009, 10 a.m. CST
Those books are long. I want to know if it's worth the time
July 14, 2009, 10:04 a.m. CST
Is fucking awesome. Read it, it's worth it.
July 14, 2009, 10:16 a.m. CST
The Dark Tower is absolutely worth the time.
July 14, 2009, 10:17 a.m. CST
I was never on board with Roth helming Cell as a feature but I would like to know why that ultimately fell through. I'd have to say it was most likely the scary bad box office for Hostel 2 (which I thought was actually kinda good). To this day the best SK adaptation brought to the small screen is Storm of the Century (SK wrote the screenplay and forgot to write the book). I have a lot of love for The Stand as well, but there are some really bad parts to that miniseries. Storm of the Century scared me.
July 14, 2009, 10:24 a.m. CST
by Read and Shut Up
...and up 'till "Cell" I purchased his stuff out of brand loyalty - nothing else. But, this was definitely the nail in the coffin. I won't purchase another SK book. <p> Between this, the shit-weasels, an Oldsmobile that's a dimensional transporter and haunted towns with mean corporate bosses - well, SK should stick to writing columns for EW. <p> He can take pride in a fantastic body of work, but now it's time to let the residual checks roll in.
July 14, 2009, 10:28 a.m. CST
I know he's not one of your big wig fucking Hollywood scamps, where you magically never get one bit of info wrong, but JOHN HARRISON is a very talented man. Not only did he do DUNE some justice, you also forgot to mention that he composed a good portion of George Romero's films including the brilliant score to "Day of the Dead". Harry, make sure your people get something right.
July 14, 2009, 10:31 a.m. CST
I love it. Here is the the line of Hercules "article": Find all of Fangoria’s story on the matter here. Yes, find it here. I couldn't read it right, so read it here. And I don't shit about the genre enough to know who Harrison is, or everything's he done, so read it here. Fucking clown shoes.
July 14, 2009, 10:34 a.m. CST
by Orbots Commander
A ninety minute movie? Sure. <p> I actually kind of liked the book, but in a junky, popcorn movie way. It in no way compares though to King's best stuff that he wrote in the late '70's-mid 1980's. <p> Actually, the best stuff King writes now are his new short story collections, his screenplays (STORM OF THE CENTURY) and his Entertainment Weekly column.
July 14, 2009, 10:49 a.m. CST
July 14, 2009, 10:56 a.m. CST
Cell is not miniseries material. 2-hour movie max. But probably shouldn't even bother... Recently finished reading JUST AFTER SUNSET and was pleasantly surprised. It's a darn good set of short stories. And I really liked Duma Key up until the last 50 pages or so. I picture Kyle Maclaughlin as the neighbor... Wireman I think...
July 14, 2009, 10:58 a.m. CST
King overwrote it. It was cool when everyone was a berserker and it was just a 28 Days Later rip-off. But once it turned into the whole "hive mind" thing, it got really convoluted and boring.
July 14, 2009, 10:59 a.m. CST
July 14, 2009, 11:06 a.m. CST
<p>The first 4 books were mindblowingly awesome, while ironically, the latter 3 were mindblowingly awful. For some strange reason (probably King's accident), when he hit the latter 3 books, everything just fell apart, leading to one of the most anticlimactic confrontations between good and evil I've ever seen.</p> <p>I'm not sure how it all went to hell, but it did. And the only consolation that I have is that at least the first 4 books were absolutely amazing. After Wizard and Glass, maybe I can just dream up my own ending and pretend that it's canon.</p>
July 14, 2009, 11:32 a.m. CST
OK, I picked up Cell from a local Goodwill because I refused to buy ANYTHING ELSE from Stephen King after the completely IDIOTIC installments of Dark Tower V, VI, and VII. Cell was moderately amusing, but nowhere even close to the ballpark of what he used to be capable of. On film, it'll be a moderately amusing story that won't stick with me. They'll obviously change it a great deal to make it screen worthy...in other words, it'll be just like most other Stephen King adaptations. As far as the Dark Tower series is concerned, the first four installments were FABULOUS pieces of work. Wolves of the Calla, Song of Susannah and The Dark Tower were the most RUSHED, hacked together, incoherent things Stephen King has EVER written. I've seriously read Dark Tower fan fiction that was more entertaining. The only reason I can fathom for his flagrantly jumping his shark on the last three books is because he wrote something far too big for his limited talent to actually handle. He couldn't stand the idea that he had no idea where to take the story after Wizard and Glass and didn't at all like the idea that he could be facing his own mortality prior to finishing it all, the fans were screaming for him to finish it, his publishers were screaming for him to finish it, and he just sat down at his word processor for the next two or three months and just typed up whatever bile jumped into his head. Have you read them? I mean, fuck, his condescending tone in all his little "notes" to the reader throughout Dark Tower VII made me want to punch him in the nose. Seriously. Who in the fuck is he to try and make me feel guilty for reading his fucking story? What a pompous, egomaniacal asshole. Dark Tower VII, to be sure, is one of the worst plotted, worst paced, anti-climatic throwaway books that I've ever read out of ANYBODY, let alone Stephen King, who at one point could craft a very intriguing (if not particularly thoughtful) story almost without fail. maelstrom_ZERO, I prefer to think of Wizard and Glass as THE ending to the saga. Roland, Eddie, Susannah, Jake and Oy drawing nearer to the Tower after Susan's story is told, not knowing what their future holds but knowing that they're going to stand together and face it. On it's own terms, it's really the best ending for the series right there. Sometimes it's better to just leave it incomplete and say "It's done because it's ended here". I'm totally on the same page with you. FILMING IT???? FUCK NO!!!! If ANYBODY tries to film The Dark Tower, I think they should be lynched. The series cannot be cast properly no matter WHO you put in the roles. The story itself is like Frank Herbert's Dune...it's really unfilmable.
July 14, 2009, 11:57 a.m. CST
by Orbots Commander
JUST AFTER SUNSET is really good, I agree. King just seems more interested, and looks to be having more fun doing other things than writing long horror novels. He apparently fell in love again with the short story form. His published critiques and essays, and his screenplays are also quite good. <p> King is just evolving into a different writer. Hey, it happens with age and life experiences, like his accident. One of his best recent books was non-fiction, ON WRITING.
July 14, 2009, 12:07 p.m. CST
agreed... the 'hive mind' was so silly.
July 14, 2009, 12:15 p.m. CST
I just can't see this doing anything after I've seen the population go beserk in numerous movies as of late. The book was fine, but nothing new.
July 14, 2009, 12:16 p.m. CST
EVERY single King 'made for TV' movie / miniseries as sucked out loud and this will be no exception. I remember being somewhat excited about The Tommyknockers and not even being able to make it past the first installment.
July 14, 2009, 12:19 p.m. CST
Book One: Boring. Book 2: Outstanding. Book 3: Good, but bordering on silly (giant robot bears and talking cho cho trains, anyone?) Book 4: Oh god in heaven make me forget I tortured myself through that mind-bendingly tedious attempt at a romance novel. Book 5: Sorry, but after 4, there would be no more Dark Tower for me.
July 14, 2009, 12:36 p.m. CST
STORM OF THE CENTURY. Commercials looked kinda cheesy. I think I'll check it out now as well as ON WRITING. I did read his first non-fiction effort DANSE MACABRE eons ago & remember enjoying it.
July 14, 2009, 12:40 p.m. CST
Not my favorite King but a nice return to a simpler and grittier kind of storytelling. Creepy story and plenty of great gory goodness. Regardless, they'll screw this up if it's not for cable. Just glad Eli ain't touching it...
July 14, 2009, 12:45 p.m. CST
Holy shit ~ sounds like you didn't even read it. I loved the whole flashback thing: the characters, the romance, the medieval-like setting, the witch, the bad guys, the final showdown. First 100 pages lag but once the story goes I thought it was amazing. Book One was great, too. Loved the robot bear and the train. Sorry to hear about your cynicism. You quit reading the series because of not liking the best book... The Magnificent Seven-style 5th one rocks. The Sixth is pretty short but a fun read and the Seventh is EPIC! Oh well, you can wait for the dumbed down series (if it ever comes to light)
July 14, 2009, 1:05 p.m. CST
As much as I'd love to see DT on the big screen, I'd rather see it done right. TVs are big enough these days. Here's hoping HBO is encouraged by the success of True Blood, and recognizes the potential profit in adapting another series that is exponentially more popular. We live in an age of PG-13 Terminators and John McClanes, and I fear that the small screen is the only place left where a demon with a dick like an icicle can properly rape someone, among other nasty shit that goes down in DT. I trust Lindelof not to broaden it too much for the general public, and hopefully all that Star Trek $ will keep the suits off of Abrams' back, but I'm still cautious. The big problem, as someone mentioned above, is Jake. They need to cast the kid early and schedule the production around his puberty as best they can. But seriously, HBO, do the math. Make each book into 10-12 hour-long episodes. Set a budget for 70-84 hours, tell the Abrams crew to stick to it, and the Blu-Ray sales alone will be your retirement fund. Oh, and cast an unknown as Roland.
July 14, 2009, 1:10 p.m. CST
by Bill Clay
...like they now say Dark Tower is unfilmable. Unfortunately, the cynics were right about Watchmen. It's a jumbled mess to anyone who didn't read the source material. I have little hope that an abridged Dark Tower would work any better.
July 14, 2009, 1:12 p.m. CST
Wasn't "Cell" a horrible J-Lo movie?
July 14, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST
by Nice Marmot
. . . sounds like the guy was influenced by The Simpsons Movie.
July 14, 2009, 2:06 p.m. CST
It was an AWESOME J-Lo movie. So there.
July 14, 2009, 2:26 p.m. CST
1. TRUCKS-based on the short story, not that horrible King directed one from ages past. 2. IT-a big screen version with a great director at the helm. 3. BAG of BONES-Kings best work of the last 15 years.
July 14, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST
by Nice Marmot
Speilberg adapting King. I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE for him to do the big screen IT.
July 14, 2009, 2:30 p.m. CST
by Adelai Niska
I recently read the longer expanded version and thought that huge sections of Book II were FAR too long for how much story was told. I ended up wishing I had read the shorter version because the actual story was awesome, just too drawn out in the middle.
July 14, 2009, 2:43 p.m. CST
I seem to be able to reread it endlessly. I'm also very much enjoying the epic comic-book version that's currently unfurling.
July 14, 2009, 3:09 p.m. CST
Too bad TNT dropped it a few years back...
July 14, 2009, 3:15 p.m. CST
...as that moronic piece of shit "Cell" movie with Hopez and a horse. Or could he?
July 14, 2009, 4:43 p.m. CST
I wouldn't say it is his worst, but it certainly wasn't one of his best.
July 14, 2009, 4:47 p.m. CST
I thought that Dreamcatcher was pretty good. I wasn't a big fan of Bag of Bones. As far as the Dark Tower books...I thought the ending was crap. Adding the Harry Potter and Star Wars were a nice shout out, but ultimately pretty lame. The idea of Roland stepping back into the desert and then the "re-write of "The Gunslinger" were horrible (in my opinion).
July 14, 2009, 4:50 p.m. CST
it seemed right before every other commercial break, there was a shot of Colm Feore hissing at the camera (just to remind us he's the bad guy, I guess).<p>I thought The Langoliers was good, and enjoyed IT (until the giant spider).
July 14, 2009, 5:02 p.m. CST
by Steve Young
Classic King, funny and horrifying. You guys (maybe just a vocal minority) are nuts for disliking this book.
July 14, 2009, 5:14 p.m. CST
Was, by far, the single most annoying child actor ever to be seen on TV or Film. Every time he came on, it completely wrecked what otherwise could have been a good show...except for the ultra-gay ending.
July 14, 2009, 5:15 p.m. CST
Started really, really good. I was crossing my fingers...and that did'nt work, cause then it really took a giant crap all over any goodwill I had for it.
July 14, 2009, 5:17 p.m. CST
..IF IT CAME UP AND BIT YOU ON YOUR NONCE ASSES. WHILE THE CELL MAY NOT BE KING'S BEST, IT'S FUCKING GREAT NONTHELESS. <P> FFS <P> THE PROBLEM WITH YOU MORONS IS THAT YOU THINK GOOD HORROR/FANTASY/SCIFI BEGINS AND ENDS WITH TWILIGHT AND THOSE AWFUL FUCKING POTTER BOOKS.
July 14, 2009, 5:20 p.m. CST
This was and is the rock bottom TV series for King. It has every cliched King moment rolled into one truly criminally bad show. And the end...when all the actors in bad ghost makeup form a circle around the bad lady with their hands outstretched and close in on her...Oh lord, that stunk. King has talent and some good ideas. But boy can he crap all over what could have been great works...witness the end of "IT" for the most famous case. And his dialoge for kids...like the DJ Richie in 'IT'-you just wanna punch him in the mouth.
July 14, 2009, 5:21 p.m. CST
99% OF YOU HEAR CLEARLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND KING AND SHOULD SIMPLY STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS TALKBACK. <P> UBERMAN. YOU IN PARTICULAR ARE A COMPLETE FUCKTARD. STFU.
July 14, 2009, 5:30 p.m. CST
TITBAG, your silcon inplants have been leaking into your bloodstream, slowing down your already diminished intelligence. Spend less time worrying about your man-boobs and more time using critical thinking skills. Oh, BTW: The Cell has mediocre at best. No need to go out on a big name calling rant like a spoiled 3rd grader who's classmates diss his Harry Potter books:)
July 14, 2009, 5:32 p.m. CST
I loved the SK book "Desperation" and was and was anxiously awaiting the tv miniseries adaption. Boy did it suck. Stephen King and network TV just do NOT mix. "Cell" should only be pay-cable like HBO or it shouldn't be made at all. A watered-down, TV version of this book will blow big time.
July 14, 2009, 5:32 p.m. CST
I got 15 minutes into it when the kid in the cell started in on his horrendously written dialoge and, having long ago learned I don't have to watch crap even if it's by someone I once worshiped, I turned the channel.
July 14, 2009, 5:43 p.m. CST
by Reaver Chow
...the MUST get Kristen Bell to star, just 'cause that'd be a frikkin' hilarious inside joke...
July 14, 2009, 5:46 p.m. CST
LET ME GUESS. DUMBLEFUCK IS YOUR FAVOURITE POTTER CHARACTER. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?
July 14, 2009, 5:50 p.m. CST
Isn't that what they said about Lord of the Rings? at least the Dark Tower has action, adventure, and compelling time travel. half of LotR is boring old english babble. and they filmed that. They can do Dark Tower as long as its done right. Jake WOULD be hard to do... maybe... film fast and out of order? do all the jake scenes first and fast? King lets mini-series mess with his books endings... maybe books 5-7 can be stream lined and more dramatic? I loved the ending, but obviously a more action-y scene with Mordred can be done, and the King? man, i dont know... its all so woven tightly together... Eddie dreamt of the red eyes back in book 2. King had this anticlimactic ending planned out from the get go.
July 14, 2009, 5:50 p.m. CST
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DO IT - AS A FUCKING SERIES WITH 1 SEASON PER BOOK. <P> OTHERWISE WE'RE EITHER GOING TO GET A HATCHET JOB FROM ABRAMS (AND WE ALL KNOW THE TRAINWRECK THAT THE NEW TREK TURNED OUT TO BE..) OR A HORRID SCIFI OR TNT MINISERIES. <P>
July 14, 2009, 5:52 p.m. CST
until he forgot to finish writing it. what a shitty ending. I loved the take on zombies that only King could think up. I want to know what the actual ending would have been, and all the who what when where whys of the hive mind...
July 14, 2009, 6:02 p.m. CST
Not "The Cell," TITBAG. Christ, why is it that some people who champion certain pieces of work don't know the proper title? "The Watchmen," for example.
July 14, 2009, 6:13 p.m. CST
Hear Hear! I made a post earlier on the 'John Williams scoring next Potter film' talkback. Check it out. BTW: I love alot of Kings stuff and CELL was good, I have nothing bad to say about it other than the concept has been used alot lately. I'm reading THE STRAIN right now. I didnt expect much but its turning out to be a great take on the vampire mythos (though SALEMS LOT was the first and best of its kind). Check out THE STRAIN-you wont be dissapointed.
July 14, 2009, 6:39 p.m. CST
One of the better recent King books.
July 14, 2009, 6:43 p.m. CST
Hearts in Atlantis, Just After Sunset, Everything's Eventual. Man, that "Mute" story in Just After Sunset kicked ass.
July 14, 2009, 7:20 p.m. CST
The entire series was just so fucking good and epic and everything you could want out of a series. If you did'nt like it, what the fuck do you like?
July 14, 2009, 7:24 p.m. CST
by the way, viggo mortenson as roland, colin farrel as eddie, zoe saldana as susanah, willem dafoe as flagg
July 14, 2009, 8:14 p.m. CST
Best part of that shitty ass movie!
July 14, 2009, 8:14 p.m. CST
Miniseries? "SyFy?" No-name motherfucker in charge? Let's see if he can out-Garris Mick Garris. This will be shit. I actually looked fwd to a Roth version.
July 14, 2009, 8:15 p.m. CST
With Seth Rogen! Shia LeBoeuieuf as the Cat from Hell!
July 14, 2009, 8:24 p.m. CST
Thank You so much. I really thought I was alone. That accident musta really fucked him up, cause he totally screwed the pooch wrapping up that series. <P> Seriously, when Orci & Kurtzman script the last DT movie (and you know they will), they cannot possibly find a worse ending to the series. And that's sad, because the first four books (Drawing of the Three, especially for me) are some of my favorites, period.
July 14, 2009, 9:12 p.m. CST
It comes out sometime next year in case you're wondering
July 14, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST
Good luck filming that.
July 14, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST
I read it while I was stuck in the hospital for a week with a blood clot. I thought it was a little drawn out. There were some really slow and boring spots, but I liked it. The SK book that confused me was "From a Buick 8"
July 14, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST
Highly recommend it. <p> I do enjoy King's horror, but its the characters that he creates that draw me to his novels and in Duma Key he has some great characters.
July 14, 2009, 10:49 p.m. CST
Bored the shit out of me. Here's why: it's mostly flashback. Now, I can accept that in the first or second book in a series, but, by the fourth book, the action should be mostly moving forward. We already knew and were invested in the Ka-Tet. I don't need to read hundreds of pages about teenage Roland and the jerks. I really wasn't expecting that flashback to go more than 50 pages. Instead, it's the whole novel.<BR><BR>As for the ones after, forced myself to read them. They were terrible, especially when Stephen King himself shows up (that'll work well on film, I'm sure) as a major character, and when Randall Flagg goes out like a bitch, and not even to Roland!
July 14, 2009, 10:52 p.m. CST
July 14, 2009, 11:27 p.m. CST
Like most of us here, I love the first 4 books, especially the drawing of the three, and I even liked book 5, but wtf was King thinking with 6 and 7? I am still pissed off to this day about how the series ended, EEEEEEEEEEEEEE, great dialogue there Mr.King, and I was kinda especting what would be behind the door at the end, but I guess I had my hopes up for something better, something, I don't know, magical that King seemingly promised in the very first book.... The dark man fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.... BS!!
July 14, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST
by Magnum Opus
Lindelof and JJ are meeting once Damon is done with Lost to decide on the best format, then Lindelof is taking charge of scripting.
July 15, 2009, 12:59 a.m. CST
...you mean coked up douche bag...then yes...Roth is a mastermind
July 15, 2009, 1:54 a.m. CST
I think that towards the end of writing Wolves of the Calla, King didn't have a real plan to tie up The Dark Tower. He is just not a guy who writes with an outline, and the over all arc suffered for this. Not apples to apples, but compare how the continuity of mythology in the Harry Potter series to The Dark Tower series. The Dark Tower is all over the place while Potter is consistent. There is something to be said for notes and an outline. <p> Drawing of the Three was an excellent sequel to The Gunslinger that gave the series so much promise. <p> Wastelands was like a microcosm of the Whole DT Series. It was called Wastelands and the whole book we are waiting for the katet to get to the Wastelands where some cool shit will happen, but they don't ever really get to the Wastelands; they get on Blaine the Monorail. That's right, an evil monorail. Then credits roll... But, here was the trick, here is how SK kept the hook in me after the blue balls experience that was DT III. He adds a cut scene right near there end and introduces Randall Flagg into the DT story. Just about a page or so, just enough for people who read The Stand to get a jones for it. So we wait four years for the return of Flag in DT IV. <p> So with DT IV: W&G, I am looking for Flagg, how he fits in with Roland and crew, why is he in the hunt for the Dark Tower or Roland or what? But instead I get 400 pages of King's Romeo and Juliet, and 3 pages of Flagg at the end. Yes, W&G had some good elements, like the way the witch transforms into something much more menacing than we would have first anticipated, and the wise-ass character of Cuthbert was entertaining. But I don't list it anywhere near one of favorite books, or favorite King books for that matter. I was somewhat pissed after reading that book, after waiting so long to adventure closer to The Dark Tower. It was a teen love story with not nearly enough Dark Tower mythology for me. <p> So, what was it, 7-8 years latter Wolves of The Calla is released? I liked the story a lot better than Wizard & Glass. More the tone I would expect of the series. Callahan was a nice addition to the crew. When King had almost finished up this Calla story, which would have been the 3rd strait that DT story had progressed the larger arc nowhere, I think that it sort of dawned on him then that he had laid out all these plot threads over the course of the DT series and most of his other books since the late eighties and still had no direction towards completing the story. And here is where I think that the series started to sputter. He sort of ret-conned some elements, dropped many threads without addressing them, and introduced Big Baddies that weren’t so menacing as disappointing. <p> I don’t have the hate for DT V, VI, & VII that many do, I’m just disappointed because I had hopes for something great. I don’t think that the series was great after Drawing of the Three.
July 15, 2009, 1:54 a.m. CST
That's what I'm hoping for. Not to bring out the Lost haters, but I have the utmost respect for Lindelof's creative abilities and have no doubt he can add his own touch to The Dark Tower story (specifically a more epic ending). Having said that, I actually enjoyed all 7 books and have no regrets over reading any of them. The Drawing of the Three, of course, was still my favorite ;)
July 15, 2009, 1:55 a.m. CST
I don't know how you could be surprised that 90% of Wizard and Glass was flashback. He had said repeatedly that it was going to be the story of a young Roland meeting Susan ever since The Waste Lands was released...?
July 15, 2009, 1:56 a.m. CST
Can't buy an edit button or time machine here.
July 15, 2009, 2:02 a.m. CST
Great creepy vintage King. PET SEMETARY (movie) had some of the worst acting in decades by the two adult leads. Crappy movie too. So, the Remake? I searched, and there is nothing new about this going forward at all. It looked like a hot property w/Clooney attached but apparantly thats either on the backburner or done.
July 15, 2009, 2:10 a.m. CST
I can get behind the idea of The Gunslinger, The Drawing of the Three, The Waste Lands and Wizard and Glass as movies, and although they WILL be cast poorly, I'd still watch them. Frankly, there's no proper person to play Roland, let alone Eddie, Jake and Susannah...even Oy as CGI will lose a lot in translation. But Wolves of the Calla, Song of Susannah and The Dark Tower are such pieces of literary garbage in all aspects they made the Star Wars prequels look like works of genius in comparison. Honestly, I think the best thing to do is sell it to a cable channel (HBO or Showtime) and let them animate two hour installments for all seven. A live action I-IV I guess I could tolerate, but watching them fumble their way through V-VII would be nauseating to say the least, not without MAJOR story revisions to make the sagas climax at least remotely, you know, CLIMATIC. I can't explain how utterly horrified I was as I crawled through the mind-numbingly awful, painfully wasted opportunity that was The Dark Tower V-VII. In my ENTIRE LIFE, I can't think of a time when I've been more brokenhearted and disappointed by something I was reading. I had started the series in 1985 and to watch it all fall apart in the home stretch, to watch Stephen King make a FUCKING JOKE of it, filled me with more sadness than I actually think my words can convey.
July 15, 2009, 2:22 a.m. CST
.. The monorail was one of my fav. sub-characters of any book, maybe i'm self destructive as well?? ... the chick that died at the end of Bag of Bones made me sad but not as sad and pissed of when Flagg gets fucking raped in a few paragraphs and the CK is a guy in a santa suit screaming EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE like a fucking jap. samurai in that Shogun novel
July 15, 2009, 4:03 a.m. CST
they are just books..some of you should remember that when you make something out to be the holy grail of all things...i can only disappoint from that point on...
July 15, 2009, 8:53 a.m. CST
July 15, 2009, 9:23 a.m. CST
I remember hurling the book across the room several times whilst trying to read it... In frustration, rage, disappointment at what a former hero's writing had become. Now that's an unfilmable novel!
July 15, 2009, 10:05 a.m. CST
According to whom? I'm surprised some folks defend this as King's 'finest work in years' when it was derivative and even he admitted he didn't know how to end the book. The first half was indeed good...but the second half was plodding and pointless.
July 15, 2009, 11 a.m. CST
The problem with the Dark Tower series as a whole is that Stephen King had envisioned his very own Lord of the Rings or Dune epic saga. In doing so, he set it in a western/fantasy/horror setting, which in truth made it pretty unique. His only problem was that, for all of his envisioning, he didn't sit down and come up with a workable outline as to how it would progress and unfold...he just started writing and let it flow out as it would (much like all his work), which explains why we had to wait so many years between installments. After Wizard and Glass, he realized that, unlike J.R.R. Tolkein and Frank Herbert, he didn't have the talent nor the capacity as a writer to handle what he'd created, and that was when he shit all over himself in a mad dash to end it. Had he actually taken the time to establish the Dark Tower universe, the novels wouldn't be full of contradictions (Roland reading magazines in Alice's bedroom in The Gunslinger, yet by The Drawing of the Three paper is the rarest substance in the universe to him, for example) and we might have gotten a decent culmination to the story. Honestly, folks, Stephen King just isn't that talented of a writer. Hate to say it to all his fanboys, but he just isn't and the last three novels of the Dark Tower series are bright, shining proof of it.
July 15, 2009, 11:02 a.m. CST
The Stand as The Great American Novel? I agree it's an astounding book and one of the few I have ever re-read, but IT is actually a better book. As for The Cell, that started out as an awesome book and then degenerated into a good book. I'm not really sure how well this will work as a mini-series. I imagine the beginning where everything goes to hell should be ultra-violent and uber-insane, but you can't really show that in a mini-series. I am definitely not a Roth fan, but a big-screen "The World is Going to Hell" scene would be more effective I think for this book.
July 15, 2009, 11:06 a.m. CST
I saw Desperation - you didn't miss anything. Typical ABC treatment of Stephen King - let's take out all the tension and scares with some bad special effects and even worse acting. If you can stomach it, Ron Perlman was solid.
July 15, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST
I didn't so much mind the ending, just how he got to the end. Once Eddie died it felt like everything was just wrapped up nice and tidy in the last 200 pages. Hey, let's have Flagg walk into a room just soe he can die, etc. I know the pain and the medication were getting to King and writing wasn't fun at that point, but it's a shame that a good series went out like that.
July 15, 2009, 11:39 a.m. CST
The Watchmen was always filmable, it was a comic book for Christ's sakes, which is, ultimately, a story board. <br> <br> Fear & Loathing? - Gilliam captured that pretty well. <br> <br> Confedracy of Dunces? On The Road? They can be done. <br> <br> These titles have all at one time or another been tagged, "Unfilmable." It's a bullshit tag. <br> <br> I think the Dark Tower is unfilmable. I just can't see it adapted onto the screen. First of all, by the third book, it's going to turn a LOT of people off, it's King;'s finest hour, yes, but it is just too odd for the masses. Second, it could never make the money of a Harry Potter franchise, no studio is going to greenlight seven pictures. Hell, even the can't miss Narnia series got dumped by Disney after two. <br> <br> Third and most important, even if by some miracle, a studio commits to seven movies and they get made by a director and screenwriter who totally respect the source material and love it like we do, seven movies could never, ever, and I mean FUCKING EVER encapsulate those books. How about seven seasons on HBO or Showtime with a good fourteen hours per season? That could be done and HBO and Showtime have proven they can put out the production quality of a Hollywood movie a whole hell of a lot better than all those made for TV movies that King whored his novels out too. <br> <br> I think the only way this gets done right is if a HBO or Showtime commits to seven years of torture in attempting to get the general public to watch it. It's a hard sell on any front and I think it's better in our heads than any adaption could ever give us. <br> <br> However, if Spielberg would ever get off of his ass and either make or sell the rights to the Talisman, I would be a happy camper. Again, I think you would have to go the full mini-series route, like a ten on eleven episode arc, ala Band of Brothers on HBO or Showtime. <br> <br> The Talisman would be a hit, I think it's a sure bet. It also comes with an already built in sequel in the grossly under appreciated and underrated Black House. <br> <br> Now, as for Cell? Who gives a fuck? That was a really awful book, that book was everything that has become wrong with modern Stephen King and the fact that Eli Roth was drooling all over it should prove that! Put it on Sci-fi so that it's even cheesier than Velveeta. That way, I won;t be tempted to go spend money on it out of a sense of loyalty to the writer that I grew up with. Seriously, why Cell? Fuck...
July 15, 2009, 12:14 p.m. CST
The mini-series won't be that good, either. For example, take "The Shining" miniseries. Great books. Mediocre miniseries, even though it was almost a literal transcription of the book. It just did not work in the miniseries form--at least not as written and directed.<br><br>On the other hand, Kubrick's Shining was a great movie, and it shat on the book all over the place.
July 15, 2009, 12:16 p.m. CST
When I was 14. At 40, not so much. Still, compared to Black House, Talisman was frickin' Light in August or For Whom the Bell Tolls. Black House was a dismal book that missed the mark everywhere.<br><br>On of King's best novels? Eyes of the Dragon. Just re-listened to it in audiobook form. Great book. That needs a movie. They turned frickin' Eragon into a movie. Why don't they do Eyes of the Dragon? That's a frickin' great fantasy novel.
July 15, 2009, 12:23 p.m. CST
He just lets quantity overwhelm quality. Very often. But there are plenty of novels, and dozens of short stories, that would easily stand with the best writers out there. I find when he goes against type--his fairly pure fantasy novel, Eyes of the Dragon, for example--or The Death of Jack Hamilton from Everything's Eventual. Went through The Stand again, recently, and it's extremely well done. Christine--a book I love--is less well-written, but still worth a read. I really enjoyed Duma Key, even though it was awash in King cliches. I even enjoyed Dreamcatcher, though it was nothing but King cliches. Which doesn't make him a bad writer--it's a very well-written book--just one who likes to go to the same well. Again and again and again. <br><br>Steven Spielberg optioned The Talisman when it came out, and it's too bad he didn't make that movie then. The Talisman would have been a frickin' perfect 80s movie, wouldn't it? Right up there with Goonies and Poltergiest and E.T., it would have been awesome. Alas.
July 15, 2009, 12:31 p.m. CST
Premise was strong, characters were okay, lots of mysterious, spooky goings-on... and then NONE of it is EVER explained. AT ALL. No logic for why it's all happening, no logic for what it is the evil phone-zombie-telepaths are up to, no logic to explain HOW the good guys win. NOTHING. All those crazy things, like the phone-zombies gradually becoming less bloodthirsty, or the whole radio/boombox/signal-from-space angle, or even the extra-creepy zombie hive-mind leader guy? ZERO effort on King's part to wrap it all up into a STORY. Zilch. Unless it all wraps up, it ISN'T a story, it's just a bunch of STUFF that happens -- and that's what we have with "Cell". If this is all it takes to be a bestselling writer, I can assure you I will be releasing a series of staggeringly popular books, and I'll have the first one out by Christmas: all I have to do is jot down a list of things that SOUND awesome, string them together with a basic plot, and it writes itself! Ugh. Fuck you, Stephen King.
July 15, 2009, 12:50 p.m. CST
by Darth Valinorean
“Hostel” mastermind Eli Roth ...... Really??? a mastermind for that torture show crap? The insane Eli Roth love on AICN is just too much.
July 15, 2009, 1:27 p.m. CST
I understand when you plunk down your hard earned cash and devote your time to reading something it should be a worthwhile investment. CELL didn't leave me emotionally hungover the way some of King's books have, but I just took it as his pastice on the zombie genre. The ending was not as strong as I would have liked it, but it was for the most part, a fun read. Not the worst thing he's put out. This announcement of another miniseries couldn't leave me more detached. King is a certified genius with a delightfully vital body of work that has entertained me all my life. That they keep making horrid adaptations of his material is a sin that cries out to Heaven for vengeance.***I don't know if I'd go as far as saying something is "unfilmable" (seriously, do some of you people play this stuff over in your heads before you write it?), but I will just agree that making The Dark Tower movies would be challenging. Look, if the right combination of talent is involved the results could be fuckin' magic. Is everybody gonna like it? Hell no. Other complex adaptations such as LotR and Watchmen saw the light of day, mostly faithful to the source material, but a vocal contingent expressed their dissatisfaction. Making it is tough. Winning over the masses? Nigh insurmountable.*** I thought The Talisman was so phenomenal, I stole my copy! I would be pleased to see a worthy adaptation of this story made.
July 15, 2009, 1:53 p.m. CST
Last times I checked King out he was content to finish his stories without answers or endings. Earlier he liked to just torch everything at the end, but the plot was usually wrapped up pretty good. Buick 8, Cell, and Colorado Kid didn't have satisfying answers or endings. Many including me say that The Dark Tower left way to many questions unanswered and what was presented was weak. <p> So I didn't buy Colorado Kid, just read enough reviews and interviews that made it clear SK still couldn't be bothered finishing a story. Duma Key or Lisey's Story anyone? If someone could verify that he started to care about complete stories again I will give these a try. <p> Hey simply may not have the capacity to juggle all the plot elements and characters in his head like he could when he was younger. He says he doesn't do outlines, but if you have it planned out even in the most skeletal form mentally, that can serve as one's outline. If he really can't manage the big picture all in his head anymore then he needs to adapt his approach and use the tools of lesser mortals, like outlines and notes. <p> Unfortunately some of the blurbs he's written in response to the criticism of his stories without answers made it seem like it is a literary choice, stories can be more like real life where one doesn't always get answers or closure. He even equated readers that felt let down to people who only fixate the few seconds of orgasm over the pleasure one has throughout the love making process. That just sounds like some smug bullshit to me. It seems as if he thinks that his writing is so swell that he can sign off early because, hey, I’m Fricken SK, and what I gave you was gold, so don’t be greedy. <p> I hope he writes a few more good ones, and I’m sure he can if he gives a shit.
July 15, 2009, 3:05 p.m. CST
Every SK tv movie and "miniseries" I've seen with his name attached just seems to suck the life out of it. Like he's trying to condense it into a comic book, and not a good comic book.
July 15, 2009, 3:06 p.m. CST
Regardless of whether a live action adaption comes to fruition, I'd love to see a Dark Tower anime directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust is proof enough that he could direct the shit out of this thing.
July 15, 2009, 3:09 p.m. CST
...the books he wrote when he was either high on cocaine (IT and Mistery) or possibly drunk (The Shining). DT: Wastelands was my favourite DT book but after that I think he sobered up.
July 15, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST
Some really unsatisfied customers here. As a fan, I have to proceed carefully. Don't particularly want some neb calling me an "apologist ", or something equally smarmy. That said, I think some people have taken for granted what King has accomplished. Yeah, his style has clearly changed somewhat, and some of his work has not always been to my liking. But I'll still take King over the majority of the product that's thrust at us nowadays. His writing, if not flawless, is heartfelt. Duma Key was okay. Lisey's Story really moved me, for some reason. I can understand the complaint that he needs to work on his followthrough. Let's just imagine for a moment not everyone wants everything laid out for them in a neat little package. Some fiction is ambiguous. A lot of people insist that it's great, but I just don't get it. At least King makes me feel something besides bewilderment. Again, I'm not saying it's superior, just *my thing*. And I'd assert I'm not some mindless consumer who enjoys everything with a brand name on it.
July 15, 2009, 4:15 p.m. CST
Look I love King but I'm not joining the Circle jerk this sounds like some terrible teen pg-13 horror movie starring Kristen Bell who Ironically played a character who was a actress who was lambasted for staring in a movie about a cell phone killing people.
July 15, 2009, 4:26 p.m. CST
Lotta people saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I think that bit of wit was directed towards the movie One Missed Call, right? This is a bit different in that nobody knows right off that there is an uncanny force at work. Kinda blindsides everyone before they can tell what's up.
July 15, 2009, 4:40 p.m. CST
I agree with the arguement that by book 4 you should be moving the story forward and not back, but this was really the book that got me hooked in the series. For the first three books we keep hearing what kind of bad-ass Roland is suppose to be, but never really get to see it (I mean really - the dude lost his fingers to crabs). In Wizard and Glass you get a glimpse at least of what a Gunslinger can do. I would still really like to see a book about Jericho Hill and how 5 Gunslingers take out most of an army of 2,000.
July 15, 2009, 8:20 p.m. CST
He got his inspirations from all the crappy 60's horror movies he watched as a kid, and so much of his work goes back to those awful cinematic stereotypes. He has not been good for fifteen or more years, and the fact that people are still paying him money for his napkin scribblings just irks me to no end.
July 15, 2009, 8:42 p.m. CST
I respectfully disagree. Like many authors, King is inspired by a variety of sources. Perhaps you know more than I do about awful cinematic stereotypes, but I missed that. I haven't guaged it, but the quality of his work has remained consistent, if not better than when he started. To say he peaked in the 80s is not accurate, just an opinion. Sorry to hear his success causes you such vexation. Just take comfort in reading the stuff you do like, whatever that is.
July 15, 2009, 10:11 p.m. CST
I like it. It was a fun read, but he'd already taken me some of the places with THE STAND. What was good about CELL was exactly what people here seemed to hate: The Hive mentality, and the ending. I had no problem with either one. The fact that the crazy people would all sleep together in a football feild-that is why I like King, for touches like that. CELL is a fine read, folks-a perfect summer paperback for the beach.
July 15, 2009, 10:17 p.m. CST
Is Kings next, and its going to be IT big in terms of pages. What little I know of the premise is that apparantly a group of people have to live without rules or laws inside a big ol dome. I could be wrong, but thats what I've gleaned. I never read LISELYS STORY or DUMA KEY (see 'Rose Madder'he the painting as alternate universe thing- a really strange book), but this sounds so lame that it has to be nautical miles deeper than it appears. I'll probably buy the hardback-the first King hardback I've bought since...GERALDS GAME??
July 15, 2009, 10:26 p.m. CST
All of em. Think of directors you love. The early stuff is classic, while the later stuff is nowhere near (Scorsese, Speilberg, Lucas, Landis, Ramis, Kubrick,Romero, etc). Same goes for bands, writers and actors. There are few exceptions to this rule. Question is the: Why? Do we become so accustomed to them that we are no longer surprised by what they do? Do they get rich and rest on their laurels, endlessly repeating the same themes? Do they start to 'phone it in?' Do they lose that fire of the lean years, when they felt they had something to prove? Or, are we the ones who expect to experiance the same feeling that first had when amazed by their work? Are we jaded? Theres an old saying that goes something like this: Nothing is wonderful once your used to it. You no longer lust after your wife/girlfriend like the early years, so you start looking for another 'fix'. You live in a beautiful area that used to inspire you, but now you rarely glance out your window on your way to work. Maybeye the artist never changed. Maybeye we just expect it to forever be like that first kiss...
July 15, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST
In JOHN CARTER OF MARS series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Word.
July 15, 2009, 10:49 p.m. CST
BLACK HOUSE with Peter Straub. Its the sequel to THE TALISMAN. Where Talisman is 80% fantasy and 20% horror, Dark Hous is 97% horror and 3% fantasy. I thought it blew Talisman clear out of the water. Creepy and utterly original in its characters. Read it!
July 16, 2009, 2:55 a.m. CST
Utter truth. A 20 year old with a talent and a hunger to make some really cool is ALWAYS going to make a better piece of work than a bazillionaire 60 year old. Stephen King and George Lucas have a LOT in common.
July 16, 2009, 2:57 a.m. CST
Have you been reading the Marvel comics that started with Wizard and Glass and have been working forward with the early story immediately after those events? They're not bad reads, and the Jericho Hill events are coming pretty close now.
July 17, 2009, 4:37 p.m. CST
was not bad. I like how it showed the skill of the young gunslingers. They kicked some ass.
July 18, 2009, 11:01 a.m. CST
Freaking talentless hack. Makes the absolute worst garbage movies ever. Cabin Fever? Total shit from start to finish. Herc calls him "mastermind" ?? WTF ? If there is any justice in the universe, Roth would never ever be allowed to be NEAR a fucking camera or a copy of Final Draft again.
July 18, 2009, 6:50 p.m. CST
You're probably right, the lead adult actors werent as awesome as I've knew. But the kids were flat-out awesome. Ellie was real good. But Baby Gage was the one who really stole the show.
July 21, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST
i will be interested. that hack has butchered enough stephen king in his time.