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BROKEDOWN PALACE review
BROKEDOWN PALACE is just a plain and simple
bore.
Basically it is a women in prison film. A genre dear
to my exploitive heart. When I heard that Jonathan
Kaplan was directing, my heart had a bit of hope.
You see, he started off with NIGHT CALL NURSES,
STUDENT TEACHERS and the classic TRUCK
TURNER. Also the more forgettable GIRLS OF
THE WHITE ORCHID. Now Kaplan did have some
star points taken away by me when he attempted to
soften the sadism and exploitation in his remake of
REFORM SCHOOL GIRLS, though his inclusion of
lesbianism... while softening it into a semi-realistic
portrayal rather than the usual Bull Dyke con bending
tender young morsel to her carnal will standard of the
genre was a bit of a misstep.
But... at the same time, Jonathan Kaplan has taken the
exploitive ‘women in danger’ genres and really gone
places with them. For example, he directed Jodie
Foster to her first Academy Award in THE
ACCUSED back in 1988. And in the film LOVE
FIELD, while not really an exploitive film, he
directed Michelle Pfeiffer to an Oscar nomination for
her character.
There will be no Oscar nominations for this one
though.
It is neither good exploitation filmmaking, nor is it
good dramatic filmmaking.
Here’s the problem... These are two stupid pretty
girls that I just never really care about. Who gives a
shit about a couple of girls that would travel to
THAILAND, become immediately bored with the
beauty of the country, the people, the marketplaces,
the history... And as quickly as they could try to
sneak into the most American looking hotel they
could find, mooch alcohol and swim in a normal
American standard swimming pool.
To me, sending these girls to prison was a character
building endeavor to get them to be more appreciative
of their surroundings. BUT... they don’t go there
with the movie. They are just as shallow and naive
and dumb at the end of this movie as they are at the
start. They really suffer no problems in this country
club prison in Thailand, where they have stone
gardens, and prisoners can have Sony Walkmans with
a selection of audio cassettes, where you can eat fresh
fruit and veggies if you pull up weeds in a well
manicured lawn. Where guards let you go potty in
the middle of the night, and the evil prisoner girl
just... smiles alot. Big friggin whoopdedoo.
Apparently you can have visitors at any point in time.
Solitary confinement can be with your best friend in a
hole in the ground with a nice soft sand floor and a
spring in the middle, where sunlight can flicker light
around the pit.
Meanwhile in the background we get to hear a score
comprised of new-age ENYA-y type wailing with a
techno beat whilst they look.... despondent.
Oooooh.... Poooooor Children.
There never really is any real suffering beyond a
cockroach in an ear problem, that we are told about
but not shown. The real travesty is if someone puts
fish-heads in your rolled up mat to scare you when
you unroll it. Ewwwwww.... That’s terrrrrible.
But you can tell that Kaplan knew the genre.
There are the typical evil female screws and corrupt
justice officials... but... they just stand there and look
evil. Not that they really do anything evil.
There is a group shower scene... but not with Claire
Danes or Kate Beckinsale in it. Can’t degrade our
stars in this film... oh no. That’d be terrible in a
Women in Prison movie.
Now, for it to have been fun exploitive menace. At
least that would have passed the time better.
I mean... for a women in prison film there are
certain... genre watermarks you have to have to
satisfy a Women In Prison film fan.
There must be a cat fight. Someone must be forced
into lesbianism. The uniforms have to reveal way too
much skin. The head guard must be an obese sadistic
screw with two assistants that torture and at all times
imply that they are about to fist the leads to search
for... coconuts or something. And there is always a
rape scene that is beyond tasteless.
The sleazy lawyer has to not want money, but a piece
of ass. Ultimately his johnson will be removed in
vengeance by the girl he is screwing over. There
must be a daring rescue or escape where everyone
that offended or hurt our heroine or heroines... must
die at their hands in some incredibly graphic way that
makes ya go.... “OH SHIT!”
The soft girl must become harder than all the other
tough girls around her till they respect her. Her
friend is ultimately drugged up and tortured and
killed to make her more vicious.
And that’s the exploitive version of WOMEN IN
PRISON movies.
To do it serious. You needed a sense of isolation. A
passage of time. A feeling of regret. You needed a
character arc where we could feel some growth, some
sense of either degradation or enlightenment. There
needed to be tension and drama. The prison needed
to have a sense of dread. The other women needed to
give off the sense that they’d been there for years.
That lives are lost in here. That these walls drain the
youth from girls like these.
Small accomplishments are really set backs awaiting
to be exposed. Ultimately.... by the end of this mess I
still don’t care about anyone. I don’t know how much
time has passed. I see no change in any of these
characters. And the one sense of joy I get is that the
credits do roll and I can now leave the theater.
Claire Danes needs to fire her agent. Find someone
who will attach her to far better projects and choose
to be picky. Cause after this and THE MOD SQUAD
her career is headed into the same pit she was tossed
into.
As for Kaplan... Well... if he would just commit to
powerful dramatic work like THE ACCUSED and do
that. Or commit to fun exploitive work and do that,
it’d be nice. But this hanging out in the mediocre
center of blasé dumb stuff that doesn’t go anywhere
and provokes no response at all.... That’s the path to
forgettable filmmaking if I’ve ever seen it.
Make films that illicit some sort of emotional sense of
worth, this film just sat there, meandered and
ultimately ended. Kaplan can be better than this and
so can everyone who was featured in this film!
Hopefully next time out, they will.
Instead of watching this film I’d recommend checking
out the SHARON STONE prison flick LAST
DANCE (which surprisingly didn’t completely suck)
or CAGED HEAT depending if you want a serious
Women in Prison film or an Exploitive one.
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+ Expand All
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Seems like half the stuff put out these days is based on a rough draft of the screenplay. They get stuck in the production jumble - and no one ever reads the script with a critical eye. They just start getting made without a single person sitting down at a cheap, well lit desk with the screenplay and actually thinking about how the movie will turn out. This flick looks like a good example of that, based on Harry's description.
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By far this is the best review Harry has written. I laughed, I cried, I tried the shrimp. Chicks forced in lesbianism and turned into morsels for a bid superhero dyke. AWESOME! I believe Harry has a film inside him and this is his blueprint, I will give him a $5 donation for the budget. You know I have to believe Claire Danes and Kate Bakingsale are stuck up, because any young actresses ,their age, would have showed us some skin already. he he he.
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This movie was boring. Claire Danes and Kate Beckensale are great actresses, but, thier time is running out...they keep making shit. Do they not read the scripts they are given? If they don't maybe they should pay someone to do it for them. I mean, I thought the end was sweet...it almost had me in tears...but, that's because I'm a girl and this movie is aimed towards me, I guess. But, it was only for those last few scenes. Anywho~does anyone know about the tension between Kate and Claire during the filming of this movie? I heard that they absolutely HATED each other and they were always down each others' throats...anywho~this is also the film that got Claire in trouble with Thailand...LOL...she talked shit about thier country after she got home from filming. They were pissed...oh well...anyway, not a very good movie. Smiles to all!!!
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I can now take my hard earned $4.50 (student price) and go see something better.
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...this movie smells like cockroaches.
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Harry, sometimes you scare me. I have never seen any of the films you talked about in this review, who cares about "women in prison"
as a film plot?! I'm a female, I just don't care! Get some sleep.
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Well done. You didn't like the film and you completely backed that up with your review. I can't wait for the savage talk backers to jump all over you for no valid reason at all. Even with another negative review, we will have to hear "Harry likes everything" or some other jealous rant from some fanboy that wishes he was Harry Knowles. I might've seen this flick but there is nothing to see after seeing the trailer. Along with your review, I can use my $8 bucks on Bowfinger instead.
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that this movie will suck.
i saw return to paradise.....which was much better compared to what i have set on this film......i also saw an anne hech flick (girls in jail[prison])....the name slips my mind but that one was kinda amusing...due to the "cheese factor".....o well...but that too....is only a memory. -
...shit and it smells like shit it must be shit. Must admit I've heard Jack about this film (apart from the whole Danes slagging Thailand debarcle) and I must admit after this review you've got more chance of seeing me taking a dump in Leicester Square than catching me in the audience. We want tits and dykes and carpet licking in Women in Prison flicks, not this fluff!!!!
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Harry finally admits a movie sucks.
The funny thing is, it is a movie everyone KNEW would suck. A movie NO ONE is going to see.
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Incisive and Honest. Just what I've come to expect from you, Harry! Especially liked the details of the films that it should have been, and the lame plot points regarding what it actually is. Great reading!
BTW, anybody else sometimes feel the urge to check out these films that Harry pummels into the ground? I do, possibly to see if it's REALLY that bad in my eyes. -
That guy is right on, where the hell is Streets of Fire in your poll Harry? I didn't even vote 'cause it wasnt there!!
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I had $50 on Kate! Now, I'm *really* not seeing this movie. I'm wondering, though..... after RETURN TO PARADISE last August, and now with BROKEDOWN PALACE this August (and, essentially, the exact same weekend,) what will Hollywood offer as our MIDNIGHT EXPRESS rip-off next year? I'd like to suggest we pair up Haley Joel Osment and Jonathan Lipnicki as kids who try to smuggle bootleg Disney films out of China. They actually make it to the U.S., but are detained by customs, and handed over into the custody of Michael Eisner, who turns them into his boy toys. They spend the rest of the film locked in his basement, a far sight worse than any Turkish prison, banging out the animation for all of Disney's direct-to-video cartoons. I can count the Oscars now.
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...I feel better now.I could tell the movie would suck at least 3 months in advance.First of all,the trailer is one of those horrible trailers that explains the whole fucking story,all except the ending.But this is Hollywood,there is only one way it could end,right?
And then the premise doesn't look interesting and seems to have been done a countless times in other movies.Let's see how many of those I can think of in 30 secs :
-Not without my daughter
-Midnight express
-The killing fields
I am sure there are others.
Time to sleep now...
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This movie was partially filmed
in the Philippines and that was where Claire Danes made those cockroach remarks which prompted Manila city councillors to ban her movies there. They get enough bad movies over there as it is. -
Mayhap I am confused ,it happens,but didn't Nicole Kidman already make this film?I saw her with Denholm Elliot as the lawyer/embassey person and it was televised not in a theatre.Very creepy and very good,the first thing I had seen Kidman in.
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I just looked it up on IMDB, and you are correct -- this is a remake of an Australian miniseries called "The Bangkok Hilton," with Nicole Kidman as our hapless heroine with heroin. It got good reviews, however, which leads me to believe they cut out all of the needless plot elements such as "character development" and "subtlety" when making it into a typical piece of Hollywood Velveeta.
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PS -- Roger Ebert actually gave this movie three stars and a respectable review! His message seemed to be that it will make young people think twice before fooling around with drugs, and therefore it provides a useful public service, regardless of how crappy, boring, or cliched the movie itself may be. This confirms my Ebert/Nancy Reagan Drug Movie Theory, which is that Roger Ebert will give a positive review to ANY movie with an anti-drug message, no matter how awful it is. He even liked "Bright Lights, Big City," for heaven's sake!
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If you want to see this movie make sure you see it this weekend, because it will not be around for long.
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Good review Harry, I was already going to avoid this, but I might have cracked and rented it. Now I won't even do that. You did forget to mention the women-in-prison uniform: Indoors lingerie must be worn at all times, outdoors short shorts and bikini tops.
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Jeffrey Wells' column will be located on Reel.com beginning Aug. 20.
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How F'ing obvious was it to just about everyone that this was just a BLATANT rippoff of Midnite Express? God damn that pisses me off.
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i loved "STREETS OF FIRE", and "MIDNITE EXPRESS", and the sound track was also great!
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How about checking out last year's much-overlooked and incredibly compelling "Return To Paradise" instead of this piece of trash.
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What happened to letting us know
about the events leading up to your viewing and subsequent reviewing of films?
I have always though that was the best part of your reviews! -
This review of "Brokedown Palace" was one of the worst reviews I've ever read on AICN (or any self-respecting news site, for that matter). Actually, I was expecting Harry to love it, that would be true to form, but to find out someone hates this movie isn't surprising in the least. All you people going "Good Job, Harry" are morons. If anything, you might encourage Harry to let someone else look at it before he posts it. Of all the "friends" who frequently contribute to the site, Harry is the least talented writer. Someone else asked, "Where's Hallenbeck?" I ask this as well.
"Streets of Fire" was a guilty pleasure. It had Diane Lane in it. Anyone remember "Times Square"? -
Times Square...now that was a cool early eighties chick flick. Trini Alvarado and...I can't remember the name of the actress who played the manic punk rocker. It was by no means a great film, but it was a good guilty pleasure movie. I don't think it's in print on video at this time.
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It had a little bit of everything you desire in a prison movie while still having some semblance of an admittedly ridiculous plot. But, damn I like Reese Witherspoon in that movie. She'd kick Clare Danes' ass. Isn't that right, chipmunk face?
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Aug 13, 1999 1:30:16 PM CDT
Harry if you wanted to see a lesbian porno movie you should have
by radracing
To criticize this movie because it had no "shower scenes" or "cat fights" is dumb. That was one horrible review. I know you write reviews that are different from others but come on now. That was really bad. What are you reviewing tomorrow? Deep Throat 3?
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It IS available on video. Robin Johnson is the actress who plays Nicky, with Tim Curry as a radio DJ and, yes, Trini Alvarado as Pammy. The film has a definite lesbian undercurrent, but Harry need not bother seeking it out since most of the scenes which display any type of lesbian-esque behavior were cut out. Too bad, Harry.
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yeah, this movie sucked. Nothin' quite like seein' a movie for free and feeling like you got ripped off. I have to give it points for the ending though, I was expecting Danes' character to somehow get out of prison at the end, even after her sacrifice. Regarding Harry's review, I think the women in prison/lesbian comments were there mainly as a sarcastic device, given that the movie was such a waste of time.
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Streets of Fire was one of Walter Hill's best. It does what it sets out to do--be a cinematic comic book. Almost every shot in the movie is composed beautifully, it's the maturation of the visual ideas Hill started with in The Warriors. The dialogue is intentionally cheesy--but not too much so, it's kept from being over the top except for comic or other effect. And yes, it's on dvd.
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Oddly enough, I agree whole heartedly. While it's fun to trash this movie for not delivering what women-in-prison movies are supposed to deliver, and what might be expected from Kaplan, I think Harry realizes, and alluded to in his review, that the movie works on no level at all. I certainly didn't expect to see Claire and Kate being hosed down naked, but I did expect some actual drama. There was none. I cared not one whit about either of them. I still don't know if there were large chunks of the movie cut, or if there was some overt attempt to confuse the audience to create the possibility that one or both of the bimbos from Ohio might actually have been involved in the smuggling. If so, they failed, miserably. Everything about the movie was so preposterous as to render every attempt at drama mute. Two girls, who work as hotel maids, from working-class families, suddenly decide to blow off Hawaii and go to Bangkok. Give me a break. They save up for years to buy excursion tickets to Hawaii (cheap) and then suddenly decide to go all the way to Bangkok (not cheap). Passports? Visas? Must have come with the script. And then suddenly decide to pop over to Hong Kong? It's not like popping over to Detroit. Governments want to know a few things. Hi Dad, I'm in prison in Thailand. Oh well, honey, I guess everything will be okay. Give me a break. If this family is so dysfunctional that her own father won't even come to her aid, then it might have been a good idea to bring this up earlier. One of the main reasons I saw this movie is that Kaplan is on our list of directors, and Danes on our list of actresses for a project of mine. I now so seriously question Kaplan's judgment in selecting material that he's probably off the list. Danes might be forgiven, she's young, but really needs some help in selecting material. Perhaps she should have stayed with Yorn instead of CAA.
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Aug 14, 1999 3:02:21 PM CDT
MTV crapy crap Clarie Danes crap, did I mention that its crap?
by tall_boy
i knew the second the trailer came on, it would suck. I hate MTV movies. God, do I hate MTV movies. ALmost as much as Harry's taste in movies as in "The Haunting is Better than Star Wars". Never gonna live that one down, big guy. . .
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Yes, most of them were awful. Election, however, was friggin' awesome. I walked out of that movie in a fugue, with a grin on my face and one thought in my mind: "MTV made that?!"
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I criticize Harry more than anyone, but at least I try to make sense when I do it. Yes, Harry dumped on Inspector Gadget, a nice, easy target. And yes, it was after 2 weeks. HOWEVER, it was after 2 weeks of UNBELIEVABLE box office success. Far from being a "dead turkey", Inspector Gadget is nearing the $100 Million dollar mark, which NO ONE would have thought in their wildest DREAMS it would reach. So before you open your mouth A-LLUN, you worthless piece of steaming monkey shit, maybe you should check your facts. ........... . And on a completely unrelated front, kudos to ME for correctly forseeing the FLOP that is known as Detroit Rock City. When a movie fails to make the top 12 in its opening weekend, nothing else needs to be said.
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Yeah the movie sux, but the music kicks ass. VAST and a couple other kick ass relativly unknown bands/DJ's have some rad tunes on it.
Yeah so furget buying a ticket to the movie and shell out for the soundtrack, and maybe a sexy poster of Claire Danes if thats what floats your boat.
-peetar -
Aug 25, 1999 3:11:40 PM CDT
JOIN THE BOYCOTT! DO 'NOT' WATCH THE NEW MOVIE "BROKEDOWN PALACE
by smackaveli
JOIN THE BOYCOTT! DO 'NOT' WATCH THE NEW MOVIE "BROKEDOWN PALACE'S" STARRING THE "PERSONA NON GRATA" herself, "CLAIRE DANES"
[Celebrities are saying they will 'not' go see the Claire Danes' new movie, Brokedown Palace's. Bruce Willis, Oprah, Denzel Washington, Rosie O'Donnel are just the few celebrities who publicly declared that they'll join the boycott. "I can only hope she chokes on it." said Oprah, talking about Ms.
Claire Danes' acerbic tongue] --People's Magazine
["Claire Danes might want to take a few public speaking classes next
semester at Yale." said Hollywood producer Glenn Klein. The 20-year-old actress turned freshman is being sharply criticized for comments she made
about Manila, Philippines where she filmed her current movie Brokedown Palace.]--CNN Showbiz
[The city council of Manila voted 3 weeks ago to ban all movies featuring Claire Danes because the actress dissed the Philippine city in the current issue of Premiere Magazine. "She is declared persona non grata," councilor Kim Atienza tells the Associated Press.
At Magazine issue is Danes' public recollection of the months she spent in Manila earlier this year while shooting scenes for Brokedown Palace in a dilapidated mental hospital. The city "just f--king smelled of cockroaches,"
she told Premiere Magazine. "There's no sewage system in Manila, and people have nothing there. People with, like, no arms, no legs, no eyes, no teeth.. Rats were everywhere."
This wasn't the first time Danes had spoken out against Manila; in the April issue of Vogue Magazine she described it as "a ghastly and weird city." But this time, Atienza and his colleagues had had enough.]--Newsweek Magazine
[Philippine President Joseph Estrada, a former movie star, said he believes Hollywood actress Claire Danes should be banned from entering the Philippines for having disparaged the country's capital. "She should not be
allowed to come here. She should not even be allowed to set foot here," Estrada said Thursday in reaction to a decision by Manila's city council Tuesday to declare Miss Danes "persona non-grata" and ban all her movies from being shown in the city.] --Manila Bulletin
["She deserved to be banned" said Tom Hanks "Those are irresponsible, bigoted and sweeping statements Claire Danes made."] on an interview in
Entertainment Tonight
[Claire Danes' reported comments have also been widely debated in newspaper columns and editorial pages, with some newspapers castigating the actress
including New York Times and the Washington Post.] on CNN Showbiz show by reporter Shiela Schultz
["Her remarks were uncalled for." Lisa Kudrow said] MTV 1515 News
[Claire Danes were known as an actress with a bad attitude. "She(Claire Danes) seems to be a very rude actress especially towards the movie set crew
staff and her make-up artist"] explained "Romeo & Juliet" Assistant Director Richard Meyers
In a statement released last week, the actress attempted to clarify her position. "Because of the subject matter of our film Brokedown Palace, the cast was exposed to the darker and more impoverished places of Manila. My
comments in Premiere Magazine only reflect those locations, not my attitude towards the Filipino people. They were nothing but warm, friendly, and supportive."
But nobody seems to be accepting Claire Danes' apology. Atienza dismissed the statement as an "excuse made by Danes' Hollywood agents and not a genuine apology."
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Whatever you guys do don't join this stupid boycott of "Brokendown Palace". OK, so Clare Danes made a remark about how bad Manilla was, but that's her opinion, besides, have any of those boycott suppoters ever been to Manilla? Besides why should you give a shit about what Clare Danes said, the only reason why this whole thing has gone out of hand is because Opera Whinfrey (yes that woman again!) said she wouldn't go see the movie after Danes' remarks, that bigheaded pig just can't seem to keep her rightous trap shut and get her mind back into the real world. The only reason anyone should not go see the movie is bcause it's crap, plain and simple. Life is too short for this boycott rubbish!
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Or am I the only one that really enjoyed Beavis and Butthead do America and Election. But I have to say, almost everything on the channel and most of the movies bite. THe only 2 shows worth watching are 120 minutes and the occasional ep. of Celebrity Deathmatch.
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Hansolo is right, by boycotting the movie because people want to defend their peoples hometown and heritage only makes more attention to the movie. In general, just don't go see it. Because it sucks fat ass.
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i don't know about you guys, but the only women in prison film i've ever seen was a porno called "under lock and key" and it sucked shit...even for a porno. but that's just me
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The fact that they obviously don't believe in FREEDOM OF SPEECH and want to ban her and her films for a comment she made is enough for me to think that the Phillipines SUCK ASS. Besides she's probably right about the country. Isn't it still a Third World Nation? Isn't the Government still seriously corrupt?
I have nothing against the people
but the Country has problems and it needs to learn to accept criticism and embrase FREEDOM if it ever wants to be a great nation.
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