I am – Hercules!!
I got this crazy idea in my head that “Survivor” vet Richard Hatch is going to compete on “Big Brother” this summer.
CBS.com has revealed 12 contestants for its latest edition of “Big Brother,” launching tonight, but leaves only a box full of question marks for the show’s mysterious 13th cast member. It’s said to be someone we’ll recognize.
Entertainment Weekly suggests they’re bringing back an old BB cast member, and there are rumors afoot that former BB cast members are missing from their jobs. But that doesn’t seem too spectacular an idea; we’ve already had a whole all-star season of returnees.
I’m thinking they’ve maybe grabbed Hatch, who finally got out of stir May 14 following a tax-evasion conviction. Hatch was the first winner of “Survivor,” CBS’ top-rated reality show for nine years now.
Having said this, I also wonder if producers haven’t recruited into The House a celeb who has nothing to do with reality shows. “Celebrity” editions of “Big Brother” (crammed solid with contestants Americans never heard of) have long been mammoth draws in the United Kingdom; maybe BB producers have finally decided to give American audiences a taste?
Because of the secrecy, Number 13 will have to be more famous than former Penthouse Pet Sheila Kennedy, who got pretty far in “Big Brother” a couple of seasons ago. More famous also than gaming champ Ken Hoang or Olympic gold medalist Crystal Cox or Grammy nominee Taj Johnson-George, all of whom competed on “Survivor” recently. More famous than former NFL safety Ken Greene or filmmaker-actor Mike White, both of whom appeared on recent editions of “The Amazing Race.”
The surprise houseguest probably couldn’t be too employable. It can’t be somebody like “Big Brother” fanatic Neil Patrick Harris, because Harris can’t take three months off from his big-deal network sitcom. (Though Harris did sneak into the Big Brother house for a few hours during the All-Star season.) It can’t be Justin Timberlake, because he might have to suit up to play Green Lantern. (Though I could envision seeing JC Chasez, Lance Bass, or Chris Kirkpatrick finding a summer-long hole in his schedule.)
I’d guess the 13th cast member would have to be at least “Celebrity Apprentice” or “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” or “Celebrity Rehab” famous. More famous than C.C. DeVille but not as famous perhaps as Sherman Hemsley. More famous than Steven Adler but not as famous perhaps as Gary Busey.
Or maybe it’ll be somebody really nuts, like Kanye West or Mike Tyson?
The 12 contestants already revealed will be divided into three groups: roughly the cool kids, the jocks and the nerds. I’m guessing the two teachers and the neuroscientist and maybe the gay graphic designer fall into the last group.
As is typical, half the known contestants hail from California, and two-thirds are twentysomethings:
Laura Crosby, 21, bikini model, Atlanta
Jordan Lloyd, 22, waitress, Matthews, N.C.
Russell Kairouz, 24, fighter, Walnut Creek, Calif.
Natalie Martinez, 24, store manager, Gilbert, Ariz.
Lydia Tavera, 24, makeup artist, Torrance, Calif.
Michelle Noonan, 27, neuroscientist, Pasadena, Calif.
Braden Bacha, 28, model-actor, Santa Monica, Calif.
Kevin Campbell, 29, graphic designer, Chula Vista, Calif.
Ronnie Talbott, 30, teacher, Belpre, Ohio.
Jeff Schroeder, 31, advertising salesman, Norridge, Ill.
Chima Simone, 32, journalist, West Hollywood, Calif.
Casey Turner, 41, teacher, St. Petersburg, Fla.
Sadly, CBS doesn’t provide any “Survivor”-type bikini shots, but you can see what 12 of the contestants look like with their clothes on here.
As always, talkbackers who claim to have never followed a reality show are trying to make people forget that time mom caught them masturbating to “Breaking Bonaduce.”
“Big Brother 11”: 8 p.m. Thursdays. CBS.
“Big Brother 11”: 8 p.m. Sundays. CBS.
“Big Brother 11”: 9 p.m. Tuesdays. CBS.
“Big Brother After Dark”: Midnight. Nightly. Showtime 2.
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