Cool News
Hercules Has Seen Syfy’s First
New Show: WAREHOUSE 13!!
I am – Hercules!!
Almost certainly inspired by the final shot of “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” the disappointing “Warehouse 13” is a sci-fi adventure dramedy about a pair of hot federal agents assigned to gather uncanny artifacts -- artifacts to be locked away in a sprawling top-secret South Dakota storage facility. It stars Eddie McClintock (“My Boys,” “Bones”), Joanne Kelly (“Vanished,” “The Dresden Files”), CCH Pounder ("The Shield") and Saul Rubinek ("Frasier").
The series was also likely inspired by the real-life “Area 51,” a chunk of military-infested Nevada desert topped by restricted airspace and situated 83 miles north of Las Vegas. Area 51 does not appear on maps of Nevada. Satellite images of the site were removed from web servers (including Microsoft's "Terraserver") five years ago.
Understandably, the place has captured writers’ imaginations now for decades.
The time-travel series “Seven Days” took place inside Area 51. “Stargate SG-1” used it to store alien artifacts. Michael Knight rescued KITT the talking car from Area 51 in an episode of “Knight Rider.”
Joanna Dark invaded Area 51 in the videogame “Perfect Dark.” Lara Croft invaded it in the videogame “Tomb Raider 3.” In “Metal Gear,” Area 51 is HQ to a powerful secret society.
Area 51 was the place Brent Spiner’s character looked after the giant alien scout ship in “Independence Day.” “Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” informed us the warehouse in which the Ark of the Covenant was stored at the end of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was actually Nevada’s “Hanger 51.” The same hanger housed the Roswell aliens.
There’s a bit of conspiracy, perhaps, around the genesis of “Warehouse 13.” Writer Rockne S. O’Bannon (“Farscape,” “The Triangle”) was once identified as one of the show’s creators, alongside Jane Espenson (“Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” “Firefly,” “Battlestar Galactica”) and D. Brent Mote (“Earthquake In New York,” “Atomic Train”), but O’Bannon’s name has somehow fallen out of the credits. The pilot’s teleplay apparently took on, shortly before production, another writer-producer: David Simkins, whose credits include everything from “Freakylinks,” “Mercy Point,” “Charmed” and “Blade: The Series” to “Brisco County Jr.,” “Dark Angel” and “Roswell.”
I think in earlier drafts of the pilot script the main characters were FBI agents; here they’re Secret Service agents. The arrival of Fox’s FBI-centric “Fringe,” which also deals with the uncanny, may have precipitated that change.
The pilot has major problems with tone; it can’t decide if it wants to be a bad knockoff of “The Lost Room” or a bad knockoff of “Moonlighting.” Both agents seem too preoccupied and goofy to make us believe they were actually once charged with protecting the U.S. president, and the pilot isn’t funny enough to justify all its wackiness.
Mostly the debut episode just leaves me confused and reeling with questions. Why is Saul Rubinek’s character the only guy tending to such a huge warehouse filled with crazy powerful stuff? Why do the agents have to communicate on huge antique picturephones instead of today’s tiny cellphones? If the possessed guy is strong enough to tear off his handcuffs, why are a couple of cops strong enough to wrestle him back into a cell that he’s probably strong enough to break out of anyway? Why does the girl agent need to call a source on a pay phone instead of a cellphone, aside from the fact that it gives the writers an excuse to separate her from her partner at a crucial moment? Is a zip-line really the most efficient way to get around Warehouse 13? Why doesn’t Rubinek get a cart to carry that oversized painting? Don’t the agents find that jewelry box hidden on the professor’s shelf with ludicrous ease?
At the end of “Raiders,” I was left longing to see what was in all those other crates. At the end of “Warehouse 13,” I really couldn’t be bothered to investigate. A season pass on my DVR is something these agents are not going to recover.
USA Today says:
… flabby … More emphasis on character is needed, and less on silly props …
Entertainment Weekly says:
… The pilot drags, but Saul Rubinek, who plays the warehouse curator, is entertaining enough that I want to believe it will improve …
The New York Times says:
… This, insidiously, is science fiction as extreme midlife crisis. As Lattimer puts it, “I’m trained to take a bullet if necessary, but I’m not sure how to stop a dead Italian cougar.” Or, he might have added, deeply stupid plots.
The Los Angeles Times says:
… as lightly thrilling as the sound of the Good Humor man's bell on a drowsy afternoon. … "Warehouse 13" has no Cancer Man, no irritating prophesy, no need to bludgeon viewers with lessons in mortality and morality. The warehouse is warm and cozy with its Oriental rugs and Victorian lighting, Rubinek's Artie steals every scene he is in, and McClintock and Kelly provide a happy friction that promises great things. …
The Chicago Tribune says:
… surprisingly satisfying, especially if you're in the mood for a light procedural with a dash of "X-Files" spookiness. … Smart, thoughtful character development is really the necessary key for "Warehouse 13." With any luck, the trio prowling Warehouse 13's vast aisles will come to matter more than the possessed bric-a-brac they collect.
The Washington Post says:
… Whatever. As Kelly laments at one point, "This is crazy, this is crazy." Also, for the first hour, off-puttingly poky. But if you stay with it, the mysteriousness of it all is kind of seductive, and the disparate strands of plot and subplots do eventually come together -- sort of. Basically it's a half-baked adventure series, but it's July, and fully baked may just not be the way to go.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:
… Like other Sci Fi shows of the recent past (think: "Eureka"), "Warehouse 13" begins with a strong concept and suffers from weak execution. … There's no sparkling dialogue or surprising plot turns. "Warehouse 13" has more in common with executive producer Simkins' "Dresden Files," another lackluster Sci Fi entry. … Too often "Warehouse 13" comes off like a mash-up of leftover parts from better series ("X-Files," "Moonlighting" and a hint of "Lost"), and in its premiere never manages to distinguish itself as a show worth watching.
The Boston Herald says:
… tepid … Despite the slight material, McClintock and Kelly sizzle together onscreen. They may remind viewers of the leads on Fox’s “Bones.” Kelly comes off as one of the more believable female law enforcement agents on the tube right now. (NBC’s “Listener,” I’m looking right at you.) Like Syfy’s “Eureka,” “Warehouse 13” is prime-time comfort food. The premise is easy to understand, and it practically gift-wraps its happy endings. It’s also the kind of show you could put on a shelf and forget about.
The Boston Globe says:
… the quirkiness overtakes the creepiness by far, and here’s where “Warehouse 13’’ faces its biggest challenge: There’s a fine line between wink-wink clever and desperately cheesy. Tonight’s story crosses into Kraft Singles territory more often than it should, with bleeding statues and bloodshot eyes, sacrificial fires and some poorly acted demonic possession. Rubinek vamps hard for comic effect, perhaps a little too hard. Pounder does far better, in her brief onscreen moments, being funny and sinister at once. A little more of her alchemy, and “Warehouse 13’’ would be closer to out-of-this-world.
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… Lattimer and Bering are no Mulder and Scully, following a by-the-numbers meet hate/bonding ritual that's one of the flatter parts of the pilot. But the presence of such top-notch character actors as Saul Rubinek (Nielsen) and CCH Pounder (Mrs. Frederic) more than make up for any initial lack of chemistry. But the show's real speed bump is buried in Lattimer and Bering's assignments: They're sent out to capture interesting devices, defuse them and file them away. While that might be just governmental duty -- label it, pack it up -- it undercuts the "invitation to endless wonder" Frederic offered Lattimer early on. Who wants to run a library if you can't read the books? Perhaps that is on the way. For now, "Warehouse" shows promise.
Variety says:
… while the male-female team thrust into this weird world is promised "an invitation to endless wonderment," the grand opening is more like a ticket to banality. Although the premise is rife with possibilities, based on the two-hour premiere, one suspects there's better inventory hidden away in Warehouses 1 through 12. … those eager to find true "wonderment" will have go shopping somewhere other than the big-box store known as "Warehouse 13."
9 p.m. Tuesday. Syfy.
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Readers Talkback
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or whatever that we don't enjoy. I've been more than guilty of it myself with Tim Kring, Brannon Braga or Russel Davies. <p> But I urge everyone out there to spend a few minutes looking up the resume of the terrifying David Simkins. <p> He truly is the NADIR of writing. Everything he's ever touched, turned to shit. <p> Can you think of a show you really loved? Which went to shit all of a sudden and for no apparent reason? Don't be surprised if it's because David was hired as a show runner. <p> It's absolutely astounding how this man holds a job. He isn't just bad, he's scary bad. Of all the writers I might bitch about and moan about, I very often still watch their shit (Heroes, 24, Doctor Who). Simkins is the sort of person who makes you change the channel. Then hide the remote. Then turn off your tv. Then sell your tv. <p>
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I guarantee it...
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how you mentioned Raiders of the Lost Ark, Fringe, The Lost Room, Buffy, Roswell and BSG in this article without giving this show a positive review... but nonetheless you killed it for me.
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This show will not be great.
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What do you *really* think of David Simkins? ;)
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I think the writer is trying just a bit too hard to be the next Dennis Miller... Anyhoo, Simkins work is on-again/off-again. His early stuff is pretty solid, but then again, how much contribution did he have as a Consulting/Supervising Producer? But anybody connected to unappreciated shows like Spy Game and Vengeance Unlimited must have something going for him. Unless he lost it later in his career, which is possible.
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do tigh, six and romo appear in the pilot?
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... every time you watch a "Syfy" show you're supporting a network that has confessed to despising you, wanting to alienate you, and wanting most of all to stop you from watching their network: Dave Howe (president of Syfy) says "we're not worried," despite the old admonition that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." "We needed a unique and distinct brand name that we can own for the future, that works in the multiplatform, on-demand world," he said, adding that "Sci Fi" isn't a brand name, it's "a genre name." "Syfy," he said, "gives us a unique brand name. "The last thing we want to do is alienate our core audience," he added. With the new name, shows such as "Galactica" can be exposed to a wider audience, one not scared away by all that "Sci Fi" connotes ("space and aliens and the future," in Howe's words).
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I knew this would suck. Another show wit the main guy's a complete moron and the woman's the smart one who can actually see the consequences of her actions. When did this country decide that every man on TV had to be retarded? Oh, and "SyFy" sucks.
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that mini was freakin awesome. truly badly promoted by scifi and then dropped. when it was a well done, fantasic mini series. http://bit.ly/thelostroom get it, buy it or torrent it. definitely worth seeing.
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One less reason to watch "Siffy" is a good thing and it's become painfully obvious that with DOCTOR WHO, TORCHWOOD, ASHES TO ASHES, BEING HUMAN and so on, BBC America cares more about sci-fi than "SyFy" does.
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tonight because Saul Rubinek is in it - after that it unfortunately sounds like this show, like 'Eureka' and 'Stargate', may be another of the SyFy channel shows I turn on for background noise when I'm working. Not that I don't enjoy the occasional 'Eureka' or 'Stargate', but I don't like them enough to set my DVR to record any of them.
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The Scifi on BBC are just better draws in the US market. At least that is assumed because they were good draws in the Brit market and possibly the world market via downloads. <p>Fact is most tv just plain sucks. That is why people seek out foreign programming. My opinion is worldwide television should just go ala carte with users cough cough purchasing cough cough individual programming as they choose. <p> They days of media monopoly and individual channels are fast coming to an end. On demand is the future. And on demand should not be limited to a single nation.
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At least Eureka is consistent. Te plots are well written and the characters developed and consistent. <p> Eureka is one of the better television shows out there. Surprising that it is on Scifi.
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I am in total agreement with you. We should start a campaign to eliminate the constant negative portrayals of men.
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I refuse to watch your network due to your ridiculous, obvious, and sad attempt to be 'hip' or 'the shizzle' or whatever outdated buzzword was bandied around the meeting room when you allowed some douchebag who is completely out of sync with reality to convince you that it was a great idea to rename your station 'Syfy'. <br><br>regards <br><br><br>Smackfu<br><br><br>and just about everyone else
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as 'siffy'. Which makes me think of 'syphilis'. The Syphilis Network. You should have just called it that. Because on a subconscious level, everytime I see your brand name I think of a disease one contracts from sticking their dick in a dirty whore.
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blows you all away and you come crying (in joy) back to Syfy just like you did for BSG. Secret Service Agents instead of FBI for this new show is retarded.
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from Syphilis. What a fucking bunch of losers. Why should I watch a network run by retards dumb enough to name their network after a VD?
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Really is too bad it was only that mini.
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on the "HEW-HESS-HAY" network--sister station of SyFy
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Recycle the scrips.
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I had to snicker when you compared it to " the real-life 'Area 51.'" I think you mean the Area 51 that exists in the minds of real-life crazy people.
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Waste of keyboarding, like the scripts will be.
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Which is a game book for GURPS that has an Illuminati-styled warehouse based on the Raiders warehouse containing all sorts of random stuff, and the game stats for using it.
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Jezuz, why is it so hard to come up with original and intelligent science fiction stories, space-bases or not? If there is a problem with that, then use any of the thousand books which are out there, which ought to provide a cornucopia for smart televised sci-fi (I absolutely refuse to write "Syfy", as it is an affront to the genre, to intelligent TV viewers and myself). Why not take, say, Arthur Clarke's novel "A Fall of Moondust" and turn it into a mini-series? It need not cost $300 million to make, and in the right hands, would turn into a nifty and fairly realistic TV series. I hunger for intelligent science fiction in the visual media. Where is Kubrick and the young Ridley Scott when we need them? Or Bob Zemeckis, for that matter? Zemeckis's "Contact" was brilliant!!!
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This is the second time now in less than a year that someone is trying to recreate the X-Files. For the love of god, just bring back the X-Files. Even reruns would be better than this or Fringe.
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The only thing I can think of when I see the new title "Syfy" is "Sifl and Olly". My mind works weirdly.
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Hey, braindead fucktard, check out the following on the "real-life" Area 51, which does exist, despite your shit-for-brains inspired mentality... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Area_51
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If he really is so dumb to think Area 51 "doesn't exist". It most certainly does, if it didn't all those armed patrols running around the miles-in-circumference fence are getting paid for doing nothing much. It used to be on maps for crying out loud. It's not a question of whether or not it exists, the only question is what the military get up to there. Is there evidence of alien visitation there? I doubt it. More than likely it's just a testing ground for experimental aircraft with a nifty distraction cover-story. Still, whatever they get up to, it's there alright.
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But only the pilot most likely. I just want to see their version of the inside of this warehouse, and meet the curator guy and see the vibe. I on't think interest will hold longer than the initial excitement. Back to watching The Sopranos on netflix for me.
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This is Warehouse 23: The Series. Only shitty. This isn't really a joke, this is legally actionable.
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for the show to fail and get canceled so I don't have to see the stupid promos for it anymore. SyFy, give me a break....
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Circling the drain.
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Wonderment Boys<br> The Wonderment Years<br> Small Wonderment<br>
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..but a guy can hope, right? There was a time when Hollywood did make films like 2001 and Blade Runner. Love them or hate them, at the very least they were original and took risks.
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Not looking good
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Every time I read it, I'm reminded of STD's. Also...when I pee.
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Now THATS interesting! I could talk about Sarah Palin all week long!
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does he seriously think ANYONE in this site, let alone this talkback, needs to be told what Area 51 is?
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Sci Fi can not own the brand "SciFi", in any intellectual property sense, but they can own Syfy. And although I love science fiction, i know that phrase turns some people/oscar voters off, so they are trying work around it. It's a silly name, but I understand why they are doing it and I think it makes a lot of sense. but i will pronounce it siffy.
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where the government stores and burns banned, highly toxic chemicals and waste. Just ask the people who live downwind of Area 51, who are suffering from strange, rare cancers. Warehouse 13 - Looks just like another one of those crappy, Canadian shows with a shitty cast.
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...this is not.
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...this may be.
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SKIFFY. Then at least we could laugh about it. Which genius was it that came up with Skiffy? Was it that guy obsessed with Kristen Bell?
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and put it on FX!
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The boom mic was just in frame! When they were talking on the porch about their parents, when the dude sits down you can clearly see the boom over the chick's head.
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Anybody?
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Sorry Herc, I'm afraid I didn't read this post. My eyes went immediately to "Briscoe County Jr." hoping a revival was coming. Now I am sad.
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Too soon?
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July 7, 2009, 10:55 p.m. CST
"There's a bit of Conspiracy about the show's genesis..."
by Big Dumb Ape
Given that the original screenplay for this sucker has long been available online for download, where it had O'Bannon's name front and center... and now he's gone... it seems like pretty good odds that the usual Hollywood backstage back-stabbing bullshit occurred. Namely, O'Bannon was there from the start... Simkins somehow came in as producer and show-runner... O'Bannon was pushed out... and then to add the icing to the cake, Simkins tweaked the pilot script enough to get his name on the credits instead -- and thus he will now earn perpetual residuals from the show as it airs or from any future DVDs.<p>Always remember the Golden Rules of Hollywood: Take credit where it's not due... Steal from others as much as you can... And be sure to screw over anyone else in the creative chain to ensure that any available backend money will come your way instead of theirs.
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Mystery behind the artifacts and the warehouse. Future episodes have the babe 6 from BSG and it looked like Shepherd from SG- Atlantis. And the Secret Service lady is pretty damn sexy.
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This is another pass at Eureka with a few differences. Big supply of mysteries/secrets and a group of people dealing with them in episodic adventures, with some male/female chemistry thrown in. Yawn.
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I actually liked the pilot, btw.
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I like Eureka.
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It was... okay. It's no "The Middleman" (what is?), which actually did have a non-retarded male lead. It was an okay mix of supernatural and s.f., CCH Pounder was appropriately ominous. I'm pretty sure Houdini's real named wasn't spelled Eric, however, at least by anyone halfway knowledgable about him. Simkins didn't seem to be listed as anything other than Teleplay, however. And it drag in the second half when they actually had a case. Hopefully in future episodes they'll avoid discussing their angst every five minute.
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On DVD's of the Shield, where she's mentioned by fellow cast members (or appears in the commentary herself) I think they refer to her as CC, but I can't swear to it, sorry. If you don't get an answer in 24 hours, I'll pop in a disk and find out and repost.
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Your description of events sounds very likely. Yet another reason to say that Simkins is nothing but a walking bag of white dog shit which has been out in the sun too long.
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No question all of the original movies are laughably bad, but what about the series? It can't be good. Eureka is mildly entertaining but I can't think of anything else.
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Boring dialog, boring acting, boring story. Has anyone else read the pre-Simkins draft of the pilot script? I'd love to know if you agree with me. Because, I think they took out everything that made the show cool, or potentially cool, and watered it down with dull and pandering. But it could be just me. Thoughts?
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Not terribly engaging, but not a complete trainwreck. We were sort of just sort of relaxing after a trip, nothing else was on, so were in the perfect mood for this. I'd say it will work a little better in the regular one hour format (last night felt stretched way out). It's like a slighty wacky Fringe or Bones with paranormal goings-on. We'll probably hit it up a few more times just to see where it goes.
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it rocks
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Whorehouse 69
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Was a cool comic series a few years back about a group of people guarding a base for the gov that contained everything from Excalibur to the Green Lantern's Lantern.
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Area 57 was a NBC pilot produced for the 2007-2008 season. It was not picked up, and thus never aired. Essentially, it's a comedy about a military Colonel (played by Matthew Lillard) who is assigned to work at the facility where a trouble-making alien (played by Paul Reubens) is being kept by the government. <p> Description (from NBC's press release via The Futon Critic): Taking on the challenge of a classified mission in a top-secret location is hard enough. Throw in a dysfunctional crew that despises you and an alien that makes fun of you and you've got one bizarre challenge on your hands. So what if Colonel Steven Isaac's new career move turns out to be more punishment than promotion? He's ready for it. <p> Foul extraterrestrial bodily emissions? No problem. Random objects falling from the sky? He's got it covered. Dirty looks and dirtier rumors? No worries. The laughs are all in a day's work in this unique comedy. <p> btw this warehouse 13 sounds like pure shite. syfy is a plague upon humanity. whose idea is it to rename these networks all the time? <p> abc family > fox family <p> TNN > Spike <p> cartoon network > cn <p> stupid as hell.
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DO WE NEED AN EXPLANATION OF WHAT AREA 51 IS? FFS WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHBAG. <P> AND BOTH AGENTS ARE HOT? WELL...UM.. ARE YOU SAYING YOU'D FUCK EITHER OF THEM IN A PINCH?
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I kinda liked it. Once the writers get a feel for the characters, it might be good. Besides, am I the only person who remembers how bad the 'X-Files' pilot was? Or the first season, for that matter...
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the 13: The Series.
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http://tinyurl.com/c7yofb<p>Actual link (to show that my tinyurl is serious:<p>http://www.broadcastingcable.com/blog/BC_Beat/11612-That_s_R eally_What_Syfy_Means_in_Polish_.php
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When I read that some dipshit marketurd had come up with the idiotic idea of naming the network Syfy to rebrand it and make it "cool" and "hip" with "street cred", I just had to laugh out loud about how completely and utterly lame it was. Then I threw up. Smackfu is absolutely right. Every time I see the "word" "Syfy" I feel insulted. Every time I think about it, I want to go out in the street, find some marketing fuck and beat him to within an inch of his life for his part in spreading the worst kind of pandering mediocrity. What, every name has to be shortened? Are the yoot these days THAT ADD? Like KFC...it's fucking Kentucky Fried Chicken bitch. Fuck your fucking hipness you fuck. Pull up your hanging-down-around-your-ass balloon pants, and tug down your up-around-your-nipples-boxers. You look retarded. Word.
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I definitely like the premise a lot. Super premise. Great idea. Now the question for me remains is: Can they pull it off week after week? I hope so. I really want this to work, it's the most intriguing show to come along on SyFy in a long long time. I wasn't too sure about the two agents in the beginning. She was too manic and he looks like David Boreanz's okay looking brother, but by the end I was warming up to them. <p> I really hope this works. This could be a unique, fun show I just hope the writers don't screw it up.
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It wasn't great, but I'll record and watch it.
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As if.
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July 12, 2009, 12:35 a.m. CST
it was crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by DrMorbius
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test <p> test <p> test<p>
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