Cool News
Boborci. Kurtzman. Kane. VIEWMASTER. Movie.
Merrick here...
FRINGE writer/co-producer Brad Caleb Kane is developing a VIEWMASTER movie for DreamWorks.
Yes, it's based on this toy:
Writin it for the Kurtzman/Orci boys! It'll be like the old 80's Amblin movies: Goonies, Young Sherlock... In that vein.
...says the Kane's Twittering, which can be found HERE.
I think I have a way to make this work: shoot the film in really good 3D...the movie is nothing but a progression of freeze frames (one every minute or so)...and we only hear what's happening between the "KA-CLICK, KA-CLICK" of the changing frames. I can't wait...and I know you can't, either.
I'm unclear as to the lineage of this information - http://www.greekgeek.de/ may've been the first to acknowledge Brad's Twitter post, but I'm not sure.
Maybe Jodie Foster can be in the movie? After all, she was in this commercial...
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+ Expand All
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April Fool- er, it's July 3rd!
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HURRAH!!!
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I don't think so. If they wrote the Goonies, Sloth would have pissed on Mama Fratelli and then exposed his hairy ass on camera.
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52 Pick-Up: The Motion Picture!
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Why no movie version of "Rubik the Amazing Cube" yet? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubik,_the_Amazing_Cube
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That was for real?
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Didn't they do that, to some degree, in Bay's first TRANSFORMERS movie?
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Go to Walmart, buy a Viewmaster. Knock yourself out. (I always liked the Disneyland one myself)
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Jul 03, 2009 10:39:00 AM CDT
Yeah I loved my viewmaster! Had the old Batman tv show on it
by stormwatcher
trippy shit.
awesome -
A movie version of the breakfast I'm fixing now.
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How the hell do you make a movie out of a toy like that?
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At least it isn't a remake.
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World sufficiently threatened.
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Jul 03, 2009 10:49:59 AM CDT
block of cheese the movie part one: rise of the camembert
by ironic_name
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Starring Jack Black. You know it's coming...
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So I guess I can safely say....
ARE THEY OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MINDS?! -
Jul 03, 2009 10:51:27 AM CDT
but really, remember a movie from the 80's about a delorean?
by ironic_name
its what they do with the material that counts.
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Dead and buried with the help of gravediggers like Orci and Kurtzman. I doubt Orci will be popping in to defend this blatant whoring stupidity. Imagine these hacks during the meeting, nodding like epileptics on blow: "Oh, fantastic idea! We were just talking about Viewmaster the other day and how it would be an exciting franchise built on a popular brand! I mean, that's all films are today right? Check please!"
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What's it take for the Hollywood Illuminati, the respectful few, to get rise up against this shit storm?
The Clooneys, Redford's, any fucking player with an iota of self respect that still represents a little damn integrity.
*Sigh* -
But the production will have it's ups and downs I'm sure. BWA HA HA HA HA HA
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Star Trek was stupid (entertaining, perhaps, but stupid.)
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You will believe you can cook with a lightbulb.
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and moving to Hollywood. First I'll clean out my attic with all my childhood shit, and make a mint on development deals. Clacker balls:the movie, Pog:the movie.
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Were heading for Mike Judge's "Idiocracy".
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Starring Simon Pegg
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He came to shake up the art world.
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Starring Megan Fox
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Jesus fucking Christ
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but the delorean wasn't the starting point for back to the future
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And its exciting prequel - Water the movie - following the next summer.
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Good one.
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Jul 03, 2009 10:59:59 AM CDT
I loved the Dracula, Wolfman and Frankenstien reels!
by the reluctant austinite
Most of us kids thought those monster reels were from some stop-motion films that we hadn't seen. The detail of the sets and puppets for those reels were amazing. I always enjoyed my Spider-man Talking View Master set which was one of the best Christmas presents I ever received.
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Jul 03, 2009 11:01:04 AM CDT
AICN- Still Baiting Us To Have an Irate Talkback... Come on
by yackbacker
Every day it seems you guys post an item that's meant to incite the ire of geeks. We'll all declare "Hollywood is dead" or "Stop with the remakes!!!" whenever these types of projects are announced. But what's happening is that AICN is becoming an even bigger bitch session than usual. We're not talking about movies anymore- we're just yelling about stupidity. Yea, it might make the daily traffic tick up a little bit, but in the long run you're going to lose the truly loyal readers. This is becoming the MAURY POVICH SHOW of Pop Culture. Please consider a return to worthwhile genre movie news. I hear there might be a BATMAN movie being made some time in the next couple of years... anything on that?
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Back to the Future was not "about a Delorian". It was about a kid who goes back in time and meets his own parents. The fact that the time machine was built from a Delorian is completely incidental (it wasn't even in the original script). Nobody woke up one day and said "Lets make a movie about a Delorian" and then wrote back to the future, someone said "Lets make a movie about a guy who gets to back in time and meet his parents" and then added in cool little details as the film developed -- the exact opposite of what's happening here where some douchebag is (once again) reaching back to a nostalgic 1980s toy and saying "lets find a way to make a movie about this."
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What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
it's LOG, LOG, LOG!
it's LOG, it's LOG, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
it's LOG, it's LOG, it's better than BAD, it's GOOD!
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"No, wait, don't open the barn door!" "MOOOOOOOOO!"
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THE MOVIE
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"In a world were everyone wobbles but doesn't fall down, one weeble dared to do the impossible, HE FELL DOWN!"
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I know it was originally a fridge, I know its not the point of the movie. and I see what you are saying and I agree it wasn't a movie built around a product, but I was making an example of what can be done with an innocuous object. this movie will be at best 'indian in the cupboard' quality, not a BTTF quality product, but if they try hard, they might make a nice children's picture.
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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Because they can't write it for themselves.
Marmite the movie. -
A MOVIE
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Stephen King once wrote an OK horror story called the Sun Dog about a phantom dog that appeared only in the photos of a polaroid camera. I could imagine his pitch for it: "It is about this polaroid camera..."
So the idea you have a movie built around and old toy doesn't bother me. WHAT BOTHERS ME is the people who are going to write it, that is where I lose faith. -
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT
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VIEWMASTER reels come to life! Peril ensues!
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The Movie
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They'll be bringing out a new type of viewmaster with fancy graphics & stuff, which this shitfest will "just happen" to co-incide with.
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It'll be one of those movie-glassesn things you'll see guys on busses wearing... could be cool, will def be weird.
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..little handheld film viewer that was a hand cranked mini screen that would show a reel of film in a cassette. only about 20 seconds or so but it was frame for frame from the film. my personal favorite was a clip from Star Wars when Han & Luke are fighting off the Tie-Fighters after escaping the Death Star. It was the last one that is coming right at the camera and explodes spectacularly. you could go frame by frame in exquisite detail forwards and backwards. it was totally kick ass.my sister even had a "Peanuts Drive-In" which was a player for those mini film cartridges but instead of a 'viewmaster' like device, it was a mocked up drive in with Snoopy and Linus in a car watching the screen (Woodstock was there too of course)..used a shitty bulb versus ambient light so it wasn't as bright but i watched a clip of PigPen playing baseball again and again...the dirt swirls building frame by frame....ahh..the toys of youth!I feel sorry for kid's today....for the most part your toys suck balls. video games are much better but the toys are shitty. our Transformers (die-cast metal) were kick ass and yours suck. but, you do get badass video games and we got blocks and sound f/x that sounded suspiciously like one continuous fart or bankruptcy dropping coin after coin into games at 'arcades'
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They're really making that. Well, at least Stretch is "humanoid". I can't wait for CandyLand and Monopoly and Hungry, Hungry Hippos! What a complete bunch of SHIT! ANd I never knew that Henry Fonda and Jodie Foster schilled toys in the 70's together! Wow!
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Long live the megalodons and velociraptors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Do NOT steal my Slip & Slide movie idea, it was not meant to be taken seriously. Normaly it would go without saying, but apparently I need to SPECIFY that it was a joke, so don't jump on the phone trying to get film rights to a 10 foot long strip of wet yellow plastic.
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...than in Hollywood at the moment.
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Was all those Disney and other cartoons that they created models for to photograph for the images. Very few of the original models still exist...they destroyed most of them. (Including the Robin Hood ones, apparently, much to my collecting bug chagrin) Here's a nifty article. http://tinyurl.com/c66bw9
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Chris Marker's La Jetee already a viewmaster movie?
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Filmed in sepia
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It was in a sense, exactly what Kane is describing above.
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"In a world, where everything meets at right angles; one man dared to to draw a curve."
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It's worse than I thought.
For some reason I remembered the Viewmaster as that cool 3-D space battle thing, the one that was like a cool goggles thing with space invaders type stuff.
Now I remember. Fuck. This is awful. -
The competition to become an overpaid Hollywood screenwriter is at an all time low, so it's open to anybody with an inkling of talent. Actually, talent is irrelevant. If you can hold a crayon you can write a Summer Blockbuster these days.
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Master Blaster, Listen to the LAW!
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That we'll have a live-action/CGI movie of the Keebler Elves announced in the next three years. Yes, Hollywood is out of ideas, but the untold truth is that they are also out of development money. That's all these gigs are--assignments, usually paid for by the original toy company, etc. You do know that the VFX in Transformers were paid for by Hasbro, in exchange for the rights to the designs?
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i remember that film viewer. my cousins had it and they even had a projector for it that you could throw onto the wall and watch like a movie. i think you still had to crank it or something but yeah...oh the 80's. lol
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http://tinyurl.com/mo6au2
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what an adorable little lesbian...
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Hollywood couldn't remember the Recipe!
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First the economy crashes & now this - what'll the future be, watching Cuisinart: The Movie or Nerf's Ballz? I'm losing a little more hope for modern entertainment every day.
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tagline - "Once you're fingers are in, they'll never get out."
actually, that sounds oddly sexual. -
We will fragment your mind.......
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Starring Megan Fox!See what she can do with......
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Starring Liam Neeson Make it happen.
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in life, sometimes everything falls into place. http://tinyurl.com/ln7jm2
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are kept busy ruining properties that I'm not emotionally or nostalgiacally attached to, it's fine by me. Keep your greedy hands off Transformers though, you assholes! And can somebody get Robert Rodriguez off the Predator franchise? He is unworthy.
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The kid's mom buys him a viewmaster and he puts in "Fantastic Magical Kingdom" in there and sees a harry-potter like 3D world come to life before his eyes. Suddenly some evil wizard casts a spell that makes the people of the magic viewmaster kingdom come to life and appear in the boy's bedroom. Here he meets the beautiful princess from Fantastic Magical Kingdom and gets a big crush on her. But something goes wrong and the evil wizard gets mad and banishes her back to the world of viewmaster, but to a viewmaster diskette that is at Toys R Us. She could be anywhere, in the Sesame Street Elmo set, or the Disney claymation Sorcerer's apprentice set, or even the TMNT the Movie set. He will have to buy them all, to find her and, he'll also have to learn the magic spell that will set her free from the viewmaster world.
But it won't be easy because while the little boy is trying to buy all the viewmaster sets, the evil wizard will be chasing him down with all his henchmen from the Fantastic Magical Kingdom, through the streets of Manhattan or Los Angeles.
Will the kid save the princess in time? Will he meet a wise mentor in Toys R Us who will teach him the spell that frees the princess from viewmaster world, once he finds her? And how will the ordinary citizens of NYC, mostly seen in Times Square, react to seeing all these crazy Harry Potter-like characters make a mess of their city? Will the evil wizard lose his horse and awkwardly learn all about taking cabs and other modern day conveniences you find in the big city?
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Picture this, I walk into a boardroom. I unzip my pants, take out my Johnson and smack a Hollywood Exec in the face with it.
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I once read on here that someone had pitched an idea for a detective movie featuring kid detectives, and the studio - hot for Magic 8 Ball promotions - told them they'd make it ONLY if the kids were incapable of ever solving the mytery and had to rely on a Magic 8 Ball to tell them the answers that was really magical.As for how this will go, it's painfully obvious. You just need to think of the NATIONAL TREASURE franchise. "'You ... are the chosen one. You ... are the ViewMaster!'" It'll feature kids trying to solve a mystery but being incaapble of solving it without using an ancient or super high-tech ViewMaster that talks, gives them hints, connects to a treasure from the past - and hides the clues on the reels/dics/whatever until the kids can sort out the answer - with help from the magical talking ViewMaster, of course, since kids in modern American movies are incapable of solving mysteries or even changing their pants on their own any more thanks to overprotective ethos in the culture.And, don't forget what the last line of the commercial will be: "And for a limited time, unlock the clues and prove yourself the Ultimate ViewMaster! Collect all 55 Viewmaster cards/discs for a chance to win a 1,000,000 shopping spree! For details, go to www.whoistheviewmaster.com! KIDS GET YOUR PARENTS' PERMISSION!"
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Wonderfalls.
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Why shouldn't this work?
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Seriously, hollywood has gone from innocuous product placements, to sponsored tie-ins with McD's and pizza hut to full blown dramatic product infomercials...really pathetic...
but no worse than the idiots who went to Transformers 2...great, now we are stuck with hollywood trying to find its next franchise... -
I think they're running out of 80s cartoon ideas, its time to bring in the cereals a Capt n' Crunch movie wouldn't be so bad, with Russell Crowe maybe.
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They are shit writers and are named in the Bible, The Torah, The Koran and Bagva Ghita and the Mayan Calander as the harbingers of the end times. Fuck Kurtzman, fuck Orci and doubly fuck anybody connected to Fringe which is probably one of, if not the worst, TV show EVER made.
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Avatar
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Jumanji and Zathura were based on board games, just made up ones.
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Viewmaster will fuck my eyeballs
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Just...wow.
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See the movie through the hole in Steve Austin's plastic head! It's like looking through his bionic eye!!!
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Shut the fuck up.
I'm tired of reading these generic responses. Try to think of something original if you're gonna post something. It ain't that hard. -
I mean come on fellas, they still have 75 years or so of Television commercials to "Develop" into feature films.. I can't wait for "Crest With Floride, Plaque's Revenge"... How bout " Yo Quero Taco Bell, The Hunt For Bean Burrito With No Red Sauce"
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Have it go down a flight of stairs for an hour and a half!
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Jul 03, 2009 1:32:55 PM CDT
Who needs Avatar when "ViewMaster" will be fucking my eyeballs i
by turd furgeson
Jeez this is a terrible idea
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Just shoot life on an L.A. freeway! No one'll notice the difference!
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One movie about the FP's version of the Viewmaster that came with an 8mm cassette of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy in that cartoon about ghosts (if you looked through the wrong end it actually looked like the entrance to a movie theatre) and you could play it backwards or forewards. The second movie set in that street playset with the secret tunnel that starts on the roof and drops you out on a slide around the alley. And finally the best movie of all about the marbles puzzle where you get five marbles through a series of five puzzles in one big plastic block.
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FUCKING ABORTION! The job someone with a brain needs is how to funnel the money in hollywood into projects that actually make sense. Asteroids, Viewmaster? What's next, a toy based on that syringe that pumps the creme filling into a twinkie?? (make your own twinkie kit, you fuqs know what I'm talking about) :o|
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Sells tickets by the millions!
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Drooling eight year olds in suits who still wet the bed? Jesus.
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Jul 03, 2009 1:37:58 PM CDT
I'm waiting for the GNIP GNOP and DREIDEL movie premieres!
by mrmysteryguest
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...they changed the name to Hellraiser.
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Just imagine what Michael Bay could do with four lights flashing in sequence. I'd buy that for a dollar.
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Jul 03, 2009 1:41:48 PM CDT
OH, WHAT A MOUNTAIN! Someone make a movie out of that!
by mrmysteryguest
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There MIKEY BAY there's yer NEXT blockbuster! You kin hire Seth Rogan to be the glowing GHOST-
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Its called Metal Gear Solid: The Movie
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Jul 03, 2009 2:00:41 PM CDT
Nothing but freeze frames? That's surely Gitmo torture.
by damien chowder
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....CONSIDER DRILLING HIS BRAINPAN WITH A RUSTY SPOON. THIS PROJECT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S RIGHT UP HIS ALLEY.
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More HUDSUCKER PROXY advert movies?
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"They keep coming back for more"
or
"Wait, come back, Eddie Murphy's not in this!" -
http://tinyurl.com/n53d99
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You're actually helping the asshats Orci & Kurtzman. For real. You know that, don't you? I mean, why bother coming up with a story when the cynical TB's will do it for them? Based on their previous efforts I have no doubt that these idiots actually come here trolling for ideas. Shit, maybe one of you are one of them, testing out the idea anonymously. If so, they're both trite, formulaic shit. Start over.
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Please, North Korea... nuke the fuck out of Hollywood while you still have a chance! PLEASE, 'LIL KIM!!!
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"Pretty sneaky, sis." BLAM!!! "You fuckin' little bitch."
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Jul 03, 2009 2:33:06 PM CDT
The sad part is that some of you assholes will LOVE this movie.
by bob cryptonight
How can ANYONE even be interested enough in this idea to actually buy a ticket?
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Jul 03, 2009 2:35:54 PM CDT
And to think some of you gave me shit for giving...
by zombieheathledger
Orci a good tongue lashing while he was here posting on AICN and now this dreck is announced.
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This is fun!
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Eh Hollywood douchetards?
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Now THAT will FLY!
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That could work if you get a Bunch of Hot Chicks in short shorts and tube tops jumping up and down on pogo sticks for two hours. Now That is cinema.
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Still it should be fun!!! I'd love to work on this film!!!
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There you go monkey boys named Kurtzman and Orci, "write" that one, impress me you talentless shit eating fucks.
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Jul 03, 2009 3:15:08 PM CDT
HULA HOOP: CHRONICLES OF ORIGINS: THE BEGINNING
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
"Incredible." Says Ain't It Cool News.
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Thee you go fuckos here's another movie for you to "write" you hack masters.
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Jul 03, 2009 3:19:32 PM CDT
Written by Dave Eggers. Poster art by Chris Ware.
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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Jul 03, 2009 3:20:30 PM CDT
GHOSTBUSTERS TOYLINE: THE MOVIE
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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Jul 03, 2009 3:20:51 PM CDT
GHOSTBUSTERS 2: THE TMNT TOYLINE
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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Jul 03, 2009 3:21:45 PM CDT
CHIA PET: THE COMPLETE MOTION PICTURE TRILOGY
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
NOW AVAILABLE ON BLURAY
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Jul 03, 2009 3:22:43 PM CDT
THE SPIN OFF: CHIA PET: KUNG FU PANDA EDITION
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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Jul 03, 2009 3:28:04 PM CDT
MOON SHOES - Base on 6 amazing true stories of bravery and hards
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
BASED ON A TRUE STORY
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The Viewmaster Prequel, set in the 1900's.
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Jul 03, 2009 3:28:43 PM CDT
TRUE STORY 2: BASED ON A TRUE STORY INSPIRED BY A FICTIONAL ONE
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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This summer being hungry is fun.
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The tag line will read"Another swift kick to the nuts deliverd by Kurtzman and Orci."
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Jul 03, 2009 3:30:19 PM CDT
FISCHER PRICE CARPENTRY SET III: TABLE SAW
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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Put it on and touch the future. Directed by Michael Bay.
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I didn't see his Stereoscope prequel comment. Great minds think alike. Obviously, no minds think jack shit in Hollywood. Fuck that place!
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"If so, they're both trite, formulaic shit. Start over."
Seriously, my outline for a kid's film based on the Fantastic Magical Kingdom is formulaic? Damn, I thought I had something original there :( -
Hungry Hungry Hippos have been mentioned already, too. That'll teach me to read a TB before posting.
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Jul 03, 2009 3:35:08 PM CDT
TEDDY RUXPIN: RENEGADE EDITION
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
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Jul 03, 2009 3:40:33 PM CDT
POUND PUPPIES: THE RICHARD DONNER CUT
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
FUCK HOLLYWOOD: THE EPIC MOTION PICTURE FROM UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
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that you would throw against a wall, and it would slowly walk down it? I would like a movie about those, please. I think this movie would work, if they have you a viewmaster thing when you went into the theater, and when you look into it, it's a reel from the 70s Land of the Lost show. Or Isis.
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as mentioned you already have,
VHS The Movie/The Ring
Generic Board Game the movie/Jumanji/Zathura
Delorean The Movie/Back To The FutureBut also
CD the Movie/I Come In PeaceArcade The Movie/Tron (and its prequel "The Bishop of battle" from "Nightmares")Truck The Movie/Duel (and Benediction also from the aformentioned "Nightmares" coincidentally)LSD The Movie/Alice In WonderlandBig Dick The Movie/Boogie Nightsand ofcourse,Thermometer The Movie/Terminator 2 -
balls pop out of his mouth.
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ABOUT THAT APPALLING FUCKING STAR TREK MOVIE, YET ARE NOW TAKING THE PISS ON THIS FILM THAT WAS WRITTEN BY THE SAME DOUCHEBAG? FFS.
HERE'S A WHAT I PREDICT. THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO BE RELEASED AND ALL OF YOU NONCE FAGGOTS ARE GOING TO BE JIZZING OVER YOURSELVES IN LOVE AND APPRECIATION OVER IT JUST AS YOU DID THE SHITE NEW TREK.
WHY?
BECAUSE NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND FILM. -
Jul 03, 2009 4:14:23 PM CDT
EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS MOVIE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES!
by tall_boy66
Okay, I get it. We all need to eat. We all need movies. We all need kids movies. This is VIEWMASTER. THE MOVIE! Okay?! At this point, making any movement on this film WHATSOVER is possibly singlehandedly RESPONSIBLE FOR HOLDING BACK THE EVOLUTION OF MANKIND AS WE KNOW IT!!! Seriously. There's selling out then there's SELLLLLINNNNGGGGG OOOOOUUUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! I'm sorry, but this crosses a line that I never knew could be crossed. Viewmaster. The movie. Jesus Tapdancin Christ. People are getting MONEY for this. For VIEWMASTER. THE MOVIE!!! Stop the fucking world, I want to get the fuck off.
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I think maybe you should focus on mastering the capslock key before you tackle film...when communicating over the Internet, where the sole means you have of evaluating another human being is their written word, communicating entirely in caps is extremely counterproductive. Because obviously, the whole point of your post was to deride other people, while making yourself appear awesome. Except you did it in caps, so now every person in the forum that read your post sees you as either a child, a mentally challenged adult, or a 50 year old AOL subscriber who calls it 'The Internets'. Personally, I'm picturing the mentally challenged adult. Mentally challenged is a strong term, I'll say 'learning disabled'. Just dumb enough to to realize they're something wrong them them. Sitting there in a groaning computer chair, white, stained t-shirt telegraphing 3 days worth of eating habits to anyone who looks long enough, mussed up hair, angrily blurting things out to your computer with a barely audible speech impediment.
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You know where to send the check.
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Now, that's a toy they should make a film out of. I'd make it a horror flick about a guy named Milton Bradley who emits hyper electric impulses and shocks the crap out of any doctor who tries to touch him. He's not a villian at first. He's just a normal guy who needs to visit the doctor for normal checkups and the occasional minor surgery. Even these mundane things become a nightmare as his out-of-control powers leave a mountain of dead primary care physicians in his wake. As his reputation spreads and doctors refuse to treat him he becomes bitter at his ostracism. He makes appointments under aliases and goes to them in disguise. When the doctors tell him to say "aahh" his fury is unleashed.
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Jul 03, 2009 4:46:55 PM CDT
DIARRHEA IN SEVEN PARTS THE MOTION PICTURE TRILOGY
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 4:49:14 PM CDT
A KETCHUP /MUSTARD GRINDHOUSE DOUBLE BILL IN ANAMORPHIC DUOVISIO
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 4:50:19 PM CDT
A PROCTOLOGY/GYNECOLOGY DOUBLE FEATURE IN SMELL-O-VISION!!!
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 4:51:25 PM CDT
I KICKED MY GIRLFRIEND IN THE STOMACH UNTILL SHE ABORTED THE MOV
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 4:52:04 PM CDT
TOOTHLESS CRACKHEAD WHO ALWAYS ASKS FOR CHANGE THE MOVIE
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 4:55:04 PM CDT
FUCKING MAYONAISE ON MY FRENCHFRIES THE MOTION PICTURE
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 4:59:24 PM CDT
IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE, OH WAIT, IT'S NOW SUNNY DOUBLE FEATURE
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Weird freakin' concept, man....
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Jul 03, 2009 5:03:08 PM CDT
ORCI/KURTZMAN GO TO A FUCKING LIBRARY YOU COCKSUCKERS!!!
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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Jul 03, 2009 5:04:51 PM CDT
ORCI/KURTZMAN DO A MOVIE ABOUT QT BEATING DONNY TWO CHIN'S ASS..
by charlesthomasmathews1978
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In a world where pulling out just one peice could end it all, one man started from the bottom.....Jenga.
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A group of explorers on an expedition in Africa come across a strange family of colored hippopotamuses! Blue ones, pink ones, green ones, yellow ones! By the way, I want royalties for this idea. ;-P
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3 or 4 people already mentioned the Hippos... sorry... I'm new... please don't hurt me...
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sounds good.
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Jul 03, 2009 5:28:18 PM CDT
game found in attic of new house without any instructions
by ironic_name
the movie.
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It simply exists
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It's just..............WAIT FOR IT................... 'movie'
Directed by some foreign surrealist twat filmaker, or a guy named Nimrod -
'movie'
Totally blank poster except for movie written in small type.
It has no running time.
No budget.
It's 'movie' -
Jul 03, 2009 5:35:27 PM CDT
russian roulette the movie starring bay orci pitoff and dick che
by ironic_name
with an automatic gun.
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With swedish techno and people whispering MOVIE under their breath.
Moooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvviiiiiiie..... -
They say it's just a movie, are unable to describe it, and after dissapering for days they came out of the theater, beards full of stuble....... and simply mutter MOVIE..... it MOVIE...........MOOVIE!
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http://is.gd/1mHEk
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and it din't come back good. I'm not visiting that site.
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Prepare to attack the tongue!
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So says Merrick's woman!
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Jul 03, 2009 6:43:09 PM CDT
harrison ford, mos def, sally field, tom clancy's 'marbles'
by ironic_name
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Jul 03, 2009 6:46:16 PM CDT
amzing live sea monkeys was a tv series, merrick's woman.
by ironic_name
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Jul 03, 2009 6:48:11 PM CDT
tom clancy's 'marbles' this time, they're playing for keeps
by ironic_name
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you are a welcome addition to this site. hooray!
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Starring Seth McFarlane...in every fucking role
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obsess much?
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...there was nothing in the bowl all along.
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It's just that they get stuck on the wrong ones...Hey a movie about 80s toys/cartoons is huge! Even though it doesn't hold the same spirit of the original - who cares about content - the toy must be the answer!Good films are not GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS, a house hold appliance, or everyone's favorite toy/board game/ etc...it's about a good story, characterization, and actually caring about what those characters do or what happens to them.Literally, every story from the beginning of humans being able to tell stories is the same. The story of Noah's ark is reoccurring in several different cultures. Shakespeare is retelling older Greek tragedies.Saying Hollywood is out of ideas is ignorant. Whomever picks these films, greenlights them, and only give a screenwriter a few weeks to put it together is not art, but large profit, quick return.
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If I was a writer and found myself at the center of a big wave of hype and producers were throwing brinks trucks at me saying 'now what can you do with Slinky: The Movie' I'd be like 'I have this idea where the Slinky becomes a lawyer and represents a high profile mob case...'. You can't blame these guys because you would be doing the same, NO ONE REFUSES SACKFULS OF MONEY SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY GUY HANDING IT TO YOU IS STUPID.
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Are you trying to say that Noah's Ark is fiction? But it's from the Bible. The infallible word of God...
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http://tinyurl.com/n53d99
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A slinky for example;What if they wrote about a lawyer who had a slinky (randomly) as a good luck charm. Or maybe he is a physicist, that his childhood slinky memory gave him a brilliant idea. The McGuffin of can be used as a better concept than stupidity.Like for example, Interstellar beings who are robotic instead of organic come to Earth to take it's resources for their own war. Coincidentally, they were damaged and need to be redesigned and could transform into vehicles from our planet. They have a vast history of knowledge and want a coexistance with us...some of them do not and want to trash the planet.Instead, we get farting, humping, retarded robots.
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All of them closed around me, shit!
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What a good metaphor you've brought up.It's like the concept that Jewish/Christian/Islamic God, is the only God if you believe in that religion, which is not true, if you've read the text. It says that is the only God you should worship above all others...which in meaning and would logically suggest that there are other deities. In other religions, which is pretty much how all human civilizations in the world came to be, there are a number of totally different religions with there own collections of story, proverbs, and fables which are remarkably similar. One could draw many comparisions and parallels to what anyone would want to accept as a possible truth from divine inspiration to a shared human condition.With your conclusions and sharp wit, maybe you should be a writer in Hollywood. Maybe a researcher perhaps? I think Dan Brown needs some help.
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Jul 03, 2009 7:20:55 PM CDT
next thing, they'll make a movie based on a disneyland ride
by ironic_name
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The Drink
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mmmmmmm
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Jul 03, 2009 7:33:41 PM CDT
VIEWMASTER ORGINS : A VIEW TO A KILL
by supercowbell5thecowbellhasspoken
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Slurpee-formers 7, Revenge of the advertising departments lay offed ex employee
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It's just like the view only as seen through a trippy device! Get some of that Barabara Walters in 3D NukkA!
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Basically a ViewMaster comes out of a vagina. I'm sure cowbell would love it!!!!!!!!!!
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This summer......... two heros face an incredible journey........a journey to find themselves.
Join John Lovitz as Mario, and Armand Asante as Predator in thsi classic pairing. Bring a fine wine, you will need it.
Coming to theatres soon -
DAMMIT! THIS SHIT IS STICKING EVERYWHERE! LOOK! IT MADE AN IMAGE OF A MAGAZINE! IS IT COMMUNICATING WITH US?!?!?!
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SHUT THE FUCK UP
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SHUT THE FUCK UP
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BACK TO THE FUTURE IS NOT DELOREAN THE MOVIE!!! Robert Zemeckis did not say "hey, I want to make a movie about the delorean." No, he wanted to make an awesome time travel film that just so happened to include a fucking delorean. Get it right!
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What? Oh will, never mind!
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Jul 03, 2009 9:00:07 PM CDT
TITBAG, CHOKE ON MY SHIT YOU FUCKING MONGOLOID....
by charlesthomasmathews1978
I don't know how anyone could mistake my nuanced poetry of hate with an shitkicking inbred who adds nothing to these fucking boards.
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TV Title....The recipe for Pickle BreadDILL-DOUGH
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Jeff Goldblum and Bruce Wills ARE Shrinky Dinks
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Not to be confused with MY LEFT FOOT
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they turned one into a TIME MACHINE?
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...that we lose something wonderful and rare, like Wonderfalls (which features the VM on its cover) or Pushing Daisies... and gain... this.
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The wackly, yet lovable family who found the Slinky in a garage sale one day soon realize it's sentient. All sorts of wacky misadventures ensue as the two plucky children and the Slinky follow clues to the Slinky's true origin. In the end, it turns out the Slinky was a spring inside a giant alien ship where all the parts are living machines. They find the ship in Area 51, unable to fly home without 'Slinky' aka coolant chamber conducting coil #7. After a heartfelt goodbye, Slinky takes his place in the ship and it flies away home.
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Jul 03, 2009 10:12:55 PM CDT
Basically, it would just be a slinky with google eyes glued to i
by smackfu
I'm keeping the budget grounded folks. Hire me, before I slip away.
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unfortunately I will never be able to enjoy it in that capacity, for I must wear an eye patch. Never the less, 3-D!!!!!
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*holds up a drawing of a viewmaster. Upon seeing the confused faces of the execs says:
"Y'know...for kids!" -
Some kids find a custom viewmaster with images of various places. Each image is some sort of clue as to the location of the next piece of the puzzle,a t the end of which lies some sort of treasure/maguffin.
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Starring Artie Lange.
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Jul 03, 2009 11:19:19 PM CDT
Here's An Idea Hollywood - Interactivity on the Big Screen!
by vidspec1979
Hollywood is practically out of ideas. I have one for them. It's so geeky, quirky, but it might just work. It will take a bit of extra money to pull it off, but heck look at what Hollywood brings us today. Rehashes of just about every movie in the past 20 years. My idea is just as dumb, but it might have merit and bring back some excitement to the movie theaters. Just bring back the video game "Dragon's Lair" and create it for IMAX and 3D. Even update the thing to be a live action picture, since Hollywood just loves to make remakes these days. Get some out of work actors and actresses to play all the parts. Imagine seeing a hot babe playing the part of Daphne on a huge 3D screen! Then you'd also hire another out-of-work actor to play the part of your favorite bumbling, but lovable knight, Dirk the Daring. Get some SFX house to create all the CGI creatures, dragons, etc. The only difficult part would be the creation of and equipping of all the theater seats with controllers that would record audience participation where everyone choose the direction of the action on the screen. Then, as each 'action' is recorded, the most amount of tallys for a certain action would determine the direction of the movie! That's where teamwork would be involved, and most likely some would realize that someone needs to call out the right directions for the controllers so that you'd get to see the end of the movie! You know the drill, left, right, up, or down, and hopefully after an hour of dying and resetting the 'game', everyone would get the pattern, and everyone would get to see the end of the movie! So you get not only one gimmick, but two, since it would be in 3D you'd also get to don those special glasses for 3D. Hey, who doesn't like a bit of competition? If everyone gets to the end, everyone gets to go home, and maybe even take a special prize with them, free movie passes, coupons for a home version of Dragon's Lair, etc. Just think - if this caught on, you can be sure to see a return of "Space Ace - The Movie" the following few years after! So, get to it Hollywood. Start looking for new ways to get people to start going back to the movies!
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They had this one movie with buttons controller where the audience could "vote" for different scenes, and the movie would play out based on those votes. It was like a Chose your own adventure movie.
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Thanks Locksbrokenleg for the info regarding the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' movie. I wasn't aware this had been done, but now I know. Next time, I'll try doing some research before I post.
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Jul 04, 2009 12:38:31 AM CDT
Hey, it really bombed. It's no wonder no one heard of it
by lockesbrokenleg
The producer of the Back to the Future movies Bob Gale actually thought of the idea. It was only in a few theaters as a test.
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I'm having a deja deja vu moment... I might as well add something constructive how about Talkback the movie. Carbon molecule the movie. Electrons the movie. Protons the movie. I don't know I'm in a science mood. I hope this post is super constructive and stuff.
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...it's called Shoelace Joe.
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Jul 04, 2009 1:42:23 AM CDT
How come there's never been a live action Barbie movie?
by lockesbrokenleg
There's been plenty of cartoons, and shit like that, but not a live action movie.
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billionaires so that they would retire.
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Hot Chicks in short shorts and tube tops on Pogo sticks. Life doesn't get much better than that.
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A failed sports car concept, that was the butt of jokes by the time they made the movie, suddenly became cool.
The only dumb thing is you need to hit 88mph to go back in time..in a car which had a top speed of around 85mph or so. -
Jul 04, 2009 2:56:28 AM CDT
TAMPON: THE MOVIE (rated NC-17 due to subject matter)
by bob cryptonight
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a lot closer than you think. Mike Judge new what he was talking about.
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...of great educational value!!
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Unfortunately, Demolition Man and Idiocracy both got it right with some of their wacky ideas about the not too bright future. The whole idea of entire radio stations dedicated to playing old commercials, the only restaurant left was Taco Bell, and Ass being the subject of an entire movie. Sadly, I think we may actually be beginning to head in that direction. I just can't swallow the fact that stuff like Viewmaster, Monopoly, Battleship, and Asteriods get the greenlight, but a live action Halo, Ender's Game, and Neuromancer languish in development hell? Someone please wake me up. This has to be a nightmare. At this rate Hollywood might as well just make a feature length version of BAYSPLOSIONS, shot in IMAX of course.
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Jul 04, 2009 3:53:43 AM CDT
I just remembered, there is a slinky short movie! + its good!
by ironic_name
http://is.gd/1n2kw
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p47sTd2INh0
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strange things happen
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she still is, i would totally shoot regan for her.
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dont give em stupid ideas!
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But, if it takes this to bring it back, then go for it.
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but are YOU still on the market?
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.. basically glorified Viewmaster reels (I liked Up, but it didn't need to be in 3D), it makes perfect sense to me.
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with the scene with Fonda and the kid from Once Upon A Time In The West.
"Now that you've called me by name?"
BLAM
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No work, no food, you worthless parasites. Sitting around on the phone and in restaurants misdirecting resources into the production of a bad Family Guy joke of a movie isn't a job. Pissing away other people's creativity with your moronic decisions! Bus a table or something... give something back for once.
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...And not make up ridiculous shit wholesale, like STAR TREK and TRANSFUCKERS.
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Fuck man, you said it...
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YOUR FAUX MOVIE TITLES ARE POSITIVELY THE MOST UNINSPIRED PEDESTRIAN HUMOUR I'VE READ ON THESE TB'S IN A LONG TIME. FFS.
PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT YOU FUCKING MONG. -
YOU SEE, CHARLES, THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE YOU TWAT. RUN ALL YOUR POSTS BY ME FIRST AND I'LL BE HAPPY TO CRITIQUE BEFORE YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF AGAIN.
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*spoiler*part 2 is the non clapping part.
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have been made as a hlorror movie I think.
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Jul 04, 2009 9:28:11 AM CDT
and a map, a man knows he didn't deal it, and know who did
by ironic_name
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Jul 04, 2009 9:32:38 AM CDT
mary tyler moore, Mary Louise Parker,Mary Elizabeth Mastrononio
by ironic_name
Sarah Jessica Parker, Maria Conchita Alonzo, Neil Patrick Harris, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Anthony Micheal Hall, Melissa Sue Anderson, Philip Michael Thomas,Julia Louis Dreyfus, James Earl Jones, Melissa Joan Hart, Rachael Leigh Cook, Moon Unit Zappa, David Lee Roth, Soleil Moon Frye, Mary Tyler Moore, Mary Stuart Masterson, Mary Louise Parker, Mary Elizabeth Mastrononio, Billy Bob Thorton, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jerry Lee Lewis, Stevie Ray Vaughn.
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Jul 04, 2009 9:34:29 AM CDT
and mary kate olsen and daniel day lewis in paul thomas anderson
by ironic_name
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It's called RING OF BRIGHT WATER, and it's horribly depressing.
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Creatures trapped behind a plastic wall vie for escape to the outer world.
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Someone picks up a veiwmaster, sees images of a horrible murder before they happen and tries to stop them. Or someone sees images of a alternate reality and get transported thereThe candyland idea existed in fairy tales before the game existed so its no stretch to have a fantasy film like that.Battleship the movie? Set in WW2 in the pacific, a US fleet tries to stop a japanese fleet from invading. one armada against another. Pobably would be a submarine story, but doesn't have to be.Asteroids? A virtual cloud of large rocks is heading toward earth, a single ship is sent to stop them before its too late. Seems like the logical next step after movies like Deep Impact, Armageddon, etc. instead of one big rock, you get hundreds or smaller ones.
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the original View Master will make only a cameo. It's just going to be a run-of-the-mill kid's sci-fi/fantasy flick with View Master as virtual reality helmet. Some pre-teen will hop around exotic "slides" which will just be live action scenes...some will be safari-inspired (think Jumanji), others might be in space, etc. Adventure ensues. And of course it will be in 3-D...when the kid puts on his "View Master," all the kiddies get to put on their 3D glasses. How the makers of the View Master got their name on this project is the real story, unless they're fronting some money/free advertising/tie-ins.
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Up early huh? Nothing like spamming early on teh holiday!
Anyways, I have a new movie idea.
It's called BallShock ™ technology. Everyone has a joystick in the theater, and it goes up down left right, corresponding to the people around you in the theatre. There would be a comedy playing, and any time anybody laughed they would get shocked in the balls by one or all of the people around them.
The technology even accounts for more than 1 shock at a time, so if you get zapped twice at once it holds the shock in a buffer and then shocks you on a delay. So EVERYONE COUNTS.
Anyways, as people start to laugh, people start to shock each other in the nuts. Women still get to play, but they obvoiusly won't get shocked.
This will encourage more women to go see guy movies, seeing as how chick flicks will not be equiped with BALLSHOCK©™ joysticks. -
Microsoft the movie, or Wal-mart the movie would be too obvious. I'd think more along the lines of the dark side of "Buy and Large" from Wall-e.A company starts off dominating a single area of industry (computers, video games, retail, movies, what have you), and moves on. going on to dominate areas finance, real estate, transportation, and eventually, defence contracts. Becoming the sole developer of all the military's most advanced technology, weapons, vehicles, computer systems, etc. and if somehow they managed to slip in a back door that would allow them to disable or even take control of all military hardware and software at one time, well, a CEO of such a company could cause problems indeed.
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A viewmaster movie made in the style and spirit of The Goonies and Young Sherlock Holmes....
Are these people high all the time? Don't answer that. -
a major revolt at the box office and frankly the press is letting the studios off the hook too much. They should be getting crucified for this garbage daily to the point it will no longer be socially acceptable to market or buy a ticket to a movie based on something like a popular cereal or something. These people are destroying their own business.
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Is it even possible to parody this shit anymore? I mean, you're getting to the point where the only thing that anybody else is really contributing is a Brand. Why not just go "Fuck it!" and write an original movie?
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that sees into the future, probably Nicolas Cage. And has to stop some murders or some cataclysmic event.
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All they are doing is buying properties..give it a rest..there will never be a viewmaster movie
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which just happened to have a Delorean vs making a movie ABOUT the Delorean...the movie, the story would not have changed if you swapped the delorean with a old porsche for example.
those using this movie as a rationalization are way, way off base. It would be like calling The Ring a movie based off of VHS tapes: not at all the same thing.
this retarded concept is using the Viewmaster SPECIFICALLY. Now, I thought Pirates of the Caribbean was going to be awful too, but luckily the only thing that was similar was having pirates and being shot in the Caribbean...
this movie is destined to become a joke or a movie for kids only... -
Jul 04, 2009 3:52:48 PM CDT
the only thing that was similar was having pirates and being sho
by lockesbrokenleg
there were a LOT of winks to the ride in the movies - the dog with the key, the sound from the ride in part three after the ship falls down the waterfall, etc. It was great.
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That made me laugh. Thanks.
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directed by george romero!
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the economy in California is so bad? The place is just a giant fucking drain.
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I think we can all agree that I win the "Who can come up with the funniest movie title" contest. ;-)
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My IQ is clearly a bit lower than yours since I didn't see your post before typing mine. :)
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there a wharehouses of these gadgets just collecting dust and they need to market them quick or put them in happy mealsi feel like im in JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS..pink is the new orange.i want a big mac!
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Jul 04, 2009 6:37:59 PM CDT
The studios get ideas off this site!! Stop shouting out stupid s
by alienindisguise
We're all to blame for the decline of american film. It's like in one of the Simpsons Halloween specials where all the giant mascots came to life and the key to killing them was to just not look at them. Anytime a shitbag movie comes out just don't watch it. Stay home and spank it or just go outside for a few hours.
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oh, wait, they did that already, didn't they?and i'm sure if it was posted here that they were making a movie about a violin and no other info we'd get the same jokes.
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GET ON IT FOX!!
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directed by m. knight!
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I thought it was an April fools joke... except it's not April.
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oh that's right, they ARE actually making a movie about mr. moneybags.
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Hollywood is going to steal our movie ideas and not pay us. Let's hurry up and copyright this shit!
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Let's be honest here. A movie about John DeLorean and the DMC-12 would be a million times better than this Orci/Kurtzman shit.
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If only toy companies were that committed to the environment or recycling. Normally, if they have unsold product, it goes straight to a landfill. Think Atari ET cartridges.
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In a perfect marriage between high-concept cinematic technology and insipid nostalgia, movie audiences sit for two hours watching a white ball bounce back and forth between two white triangles. In 3D!
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Angry fanboys attempt to take over the AICN offices. Script Girl co stats.
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The game was before my time and besides I've been celebrating the Fourth...with a fifth. One more and that's one sixpack down. BTW, Budweiser makes the worst goddamn beer in the world. Bleah!
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TWO HOURS OF GOD DAMM BEACHES!!!!
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Jul 04, 2009 11:21:58 PM CDT
THANK YOU FOR IGNORING US AGAIN HOLLYWOOD: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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Starring Andy Dick.
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Jul 04, 2009 11:32:51 PM CDT
PASSWORDS THAT REQ. LETTERs, #s, AND CAPs: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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It's about as dull as the TV show.
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AICN Talkbackers need more things to bitch about!!!
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Who would play Harry?Post your choice below.
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Where is the AICNTalkback?
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Jul 05, 2009 12:29:20 AM CDT
THIS STUFF UNDER MY FINGERNAILS: THE MOVIEWATER IN GOGGL
by gibsonusa returns
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Oh shit. They did this one.
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YOU GOT CHOCOLATE ON MY PEANUTBUTTER-The Sequel
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no caps at all-the sequel
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Jul 05, 2009 12:49:02 AM CDT
DAMN KIDS SHOUTING AT TWILIGHT PREVIEW DURING TRANSFORMERS
by lockesbrokenleg
THE MOVIE!!!
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The movie.
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Jul 05, 2009 12:51:54 AM CDT
ALL NEWS CHANNELS COVERING EXACT SAME THING: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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Jul 05, 2009 12:53:44 AM CDT
I BUY A TICKET AND STILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE FRONT ROW CAUSE IT'S
by lockesbrokenleg
THE MOVIE!!!
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EXTRA CHEESE $1.75
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THE MOVIE
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Jul 05, 2009 12:56:55 AM CDT
CLEARLY BIASED PUNDIT TRYING TO SOUND NEUTRAL: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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THE MOVIE
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With all these tech advancements?
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Otherwise known ss Resident Evil.
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The Movie?
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Catch it while you can!!!
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Comin' at ya in 2010!!!
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THE SEQUEL
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NO SHIT!!!
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I SHIT YOU NOT!!!
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AssimovLives posts and does NOT dis the new Star Trek.Hard to believe buy true.
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Bob Orci Presents TRAPPER KEEPER 2: Revenge of the Fallen.
Bob Orci Presents: Crusty Gym Shorts IV.
Bob Orci Presents: BARBIE DREAM HOUSE X: Nightmare in Whoreville.
Bob Orci Presents: OREO DOUBLESTUFF verses the KEEBLER ELVES -
no holiday. what you talkin' about?
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THE MOVIE.
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Jul 05, 2009 3:02:03 AM CDT
zack galifinakis fingers his asshole for two hours the movie.
by ironic_name
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is a giant ass farting?
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Fucking gimmicks. When are we going to get back to the point where the script/story/casting are the essential ingredients of a movie.? Unless, we're going to make 'Polyester' again and bring back the 'scratch and sniff'.! Yah for Hollywood. They've finally run out of ideas. Watch some Iranian cinema. It might enlighten you thick fucks.
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DocMHumphrey above is on the right track. Saying Hollywood is out of ideas is ignorant.The big movie studios are parts of larger corporations that are ONLY looking to make as much money as possible. They pick up these properties because of the BRAND RECOGNITION. Almost everyone grows up playing with these boardgames/toys. The corporation prizes that level of awareness. Then it's up to the producers and writers to figure out how to make a narrative feature out of "Connect Four". But I think it takes a lot MORE creativity (and balls) to try to conjure a story out of some of these intellectual properties.
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THIS IS THE BEST YOU FAILED AND FRUSTRATED WRITERS CAN COME UP WITH? DRMORBIUS GETS AT LEAST A HALF A POINT FOR NAMING A MOVIE AFTER YOURS TRULY BUT THE REST OF YOU? TYPING WHATEVER COMES INTO YOUR PUNY HEADS IS NEITHER FUNNY NOR CLEVER AND FREE ASSOCIATION DIED WITH THOSE HORRIBLE FUCKING MATRIX MOVIES THANK CHRIST.
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Starring Titbag.
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hi everone if yuu want to see my newere reveiw then you can becase its on ainat it bale mews . com rightt now !its of my favorite summer movies and its top 10 reely .i hope you like it becaese it take me long itme and allso there is picturre there i make of sumer mvies amd you can even say coments there just like like yuo can here .its awsome web siter .its caled aint it bale news . com and its proper weebsite and you can join it .thakn you evreone !
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A DICK SUCKING A DICK!Redundant, but true!!!
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FINIS
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Jul 05, 2009 12:30:51 PM CDT
failtroll origins: rise of a bored guy who can't bait anyone
by ironic_name
starring titbag and underooshero aka petergrifin
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Dammit, these things keep falling off the screen!
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"Have a taste a' some malaise, sucka!"
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Have to drop the temperature in the theater for the film to reveal the picture magically!
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i keep hearing the dumb-duh-dumb dumb dumb jingle from South Park whenever i think about this retarded idea for a film. While we're at it, how about kids playing a winner-take-all Uno game for their souls. Idunno, as long as some bully kid ends up blowing his brains out with a NERF pistol a la Deer Hunter
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A Viewmaster? Really?
I had one when I was a kid, but that was decades ago. This toy isn't very interesting to anyone now. Only to the overly sentimental, braindead masses, who, upon hearing about the film, will say "Awww! I had one of those!" Following their initial cheesy rush, however, they'll realize, "Um, yeah. Actually I don't REALLY want to see a movie about that. Pretty boring idea, in all honesty."
I hope Bob and Alex realize this is the case. -
Can it see through clothing?
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The continueing saga of ....well, my LEFT NUT!
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More of the same, natch!
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WHAT? I have two left nuts!!!
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NICE ONE WITH THE COLORFORMS YOU FUCKING PRICK.
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The only way I can see this going is having the viewmaster as some sort of Mcguffin that tells the future.... or something.
Some kids found it, and they're being chased down for it by some evil dude.... OR: Some kids are on an adventure to find it.
Either way, it's rediculously bad, and I WILL see it. To laugh. -
PLOT: Giant plastic discs fly everywhere putting everybody's eye out. In 3D!
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Wait...
....
It's a remake AND a toy!
Two birds with one stone. -
The baby from Raising Arizona has his own kid.
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In a world where coins and paper currency are outlawed...
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Oh, that came out this summer.
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Watch for the EASY BAKE OVEN trailer
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The Bloody Horror!!!
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sWINGING YOUR WAY SOON!
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Which are Breast?
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OR WAS IT URANUS?
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Sucking Vampires!
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They suck down LONG COLD ONES after work!
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Hugh FitzPatrickPatrick FitzHugh
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Right in the heart of the Orci/Kurtzman Demo...just like Bayformers.
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I WUV WOO!
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Directed by Tim Burton.
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From the writers of Transformers and Xena Princess Warrior comes a masterpiece..."Blank Film: The Movie".Says Peter Travers of Rolling Stone:"I really did not think Orci/Kurtman had this kind of conceptual brilliance in them, it is like a view directly into their creative souls." "Rarely has the film go'er been treated to such an in depth look into the mind of a "Blockbuster" writer. I completely understand where Orci and Kurtzman are coming from now...perhaps we need to re-evaluate their output to date, as if this work is an indication of what they have to work with on a daily basis, they might be savants."It was 2 hours of sublime nothingness...just a big white screen wrapped in Chocolate Covered Pussy Juice...when the lights went down, and the big white screen lit up...I wept with joy." Harry Knowles.
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Agent Mac Guffin is hired by Bill Gates to infiltrate Apple headquarters and steal a revolutionary new application whilst digging up the dirt on Steve Jobs.
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LOVELY!
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This period drama about the blasphemous portrait of an unknown man suffering through a bout of extreme constipation has Oscar written all over it.
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Nighty Night!
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This period drama about the blasphemous portrait of an unknown man suffering through a bout of extreme constipation has Oscar written all over it.
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This period drama about the blasphemous portrait of an unknown man suffering through a bout of extreme constipation has Oscar written all over it.
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Reducing your sperm count summer 2010.
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Fear the smear, summer 2011.
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Bustin' out summer 2012.
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Bustin' out summer 2012.
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Two undercover mercenaries played by Dolph Lundgren and Sylvester Stallone wield big water guns to blast tight white shirt wearing big titty hotties while investigating a wet T-shirt contest in Malibu. Directed by Michael Bay. Coming to IMAX 3D.
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Poor old Stanley "Squirts" McQwertz, who is afflicted with a condition that causes him to never stop shitting. To make matters worse, it is not just any ordinary old poo, but diarrhea too. Spiritual sequel to A PORTRAIT OF A MAN SHITTING HARD.
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Jul 06, 2009 2:00:08 AM CDT
THINKING THOSE CELEBS ACTUALLY DRINK PEPSI: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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Jul 06, 2009 2:39:00 AM CDT
THAT HOARDER WITH TONS OF CRAP ON HIS PORCH:THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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Jul 06, 2009 2:41:42 AM CDT
CHEERLEADERS R ACTUALLY THE WANNABE POPULAR GIRLS: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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is many of the joke movie titles posted here such as Candy Land and Battleship are actually in development.
The hacks that run Hollywood need to read some books. -
CROSSFIRE! You'll get caught up in the... CROSSFIRE... CROSSFIRE... CROSSFIIIRRRRRE!!!!! YEAH!
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THE MICROVERSE BEKONS, WHY ARE WE FUCKING AROUND WITH VIEWMASTER?
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a 2 hour fim based on debugging source code & working on an IBM server...Starring Shia Lebouf
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I woulda thought he'd have popped over here early on to add some color to this tid bit, or defend himself, or something. then again, why show up to a festival of "fuck you's"? (I guess b/c he has a habit of popping up on TBs related to him.)
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Jul 06, 2009 4:19:43 PM CDT
THOSE CHILD_SAFE SURFACES FROM OLD TIRES: THE MOVIE
by gibsonusa returns
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Really, dude..did you listen to the script to Transformers, Trek, Cloverfield???!Orci/Kurtzman are to screen writers what Dr. Mengele is to the medical profession.
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Bob Orci is cool enough to be here.
And we're just joking around,I doubt he takes it seriously. -
Picture Scrooge McDuck in his vault of money. Substitute Bob Orci as Scrooge. There ya go!!
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Fuck that the world is full of fucking retards and actually paid to see shit like Cloverfield and Transformers...The FACT is he and Kurtzman write some epic SHIT..and not in a good way. Sure they make bank...but so do the fucking TeleTubbies, Barney and Lady fucking Ga-Ga and Home Town Buffet. $$$ does not equal quality...just popularity amongst the lowest common denominator, retards or children.
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Jul 06, 2009 11:10:40 PM CDT
Didn't this site go apeshit when Cloverfield came out?
by lockesbrokenleg
I remember that damn Internet game was all you bozos could talk about for months. Remember the idiots who thought it was a Voltron movie?
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I still get headaches thinking about that "shaky-cam" POS!
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just long enough for them to nuke Hollywood. Then we can all start over with a clean slate. After all, at least they had the good sense to make Charlton Heston president of something.
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we had nothing to do with it
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but somebody beat us to it
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hilarious -- love FU festivals!
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just like norm in cheers.
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I always just lump you, Kurtzman and JJ together...like some kind of evil, but successful, Siamese triplets.But Transformers 1&2, MI3, Xena? Fucks sake man...enough!
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when hollywood has to resort to making stories out of kid toys, you know you're in cinema's darkest phase yet.
that's bayformers legacy for you. thank yourself for making this happen by watching those shitty films. -
that was hilarious!!!
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"Little. Yellow. Different."
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Oh the humanity!
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..If.you know what I mean!?
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It'll be even more 3D! It's the Avatar of the toy industry! Fuck Viewmaster!
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