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Get ready for this! ASTEROIDS: THE MOVIE coming soon to a theater near you!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Methinks someone high up at Universal is having a bit of Peter Pan complex. There are worse things for an executive to have, for sure... But this is the studio that's working to bring us Candyland and Battleship and now they've jumped from the board game to the classic arcade game.
ASTEROIDS: THE MOVIE. Should have been an '80s movie starring Fred Savage and Lance Guest. Alas, according to Mr. Borys Kitt at Hollywood Reporter we're getting the movie now, with Lorenzo di Bonaventura producing and RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN's Matthew Lopez attached to script. Of course he'll have to be starting from the ground up here. As long as he has a triangle-shaped ship blow up big asteroid chunks into little asteroid chunks and an occasional UFO that sounds like a discotheque we're all good.
As long as it's better than that bizarre, but crappy WITCH MOUNTAIN remake I'm happy. Why not? Now who's gonna get Jack Black starring in a DIG-DUG adaptation? THAT I'd pay money to see.
-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com
Follow Me On Twitter
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Give Peace A Chance.
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..of fucking pointless shite.
Oh, and FIRST! -
...just got off the phone with all your friends.They say you're a fat, stupid fuck.
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Since Transformers 3 is a no go.
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with Bruce Willis. Funny story, as told on his Threevening with Kevin Smith DVD.
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but couldn't play it to save my life. That one where you landed the Apollo like ship on the rocky landscapes with the big power lever, was my favorite. Anyone remember what it was called. I couldn't play that one very well either.
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Or maybe CATERPILLAR: THE MOVIE ... no, wait, SINISTAR: THE MOVIE; it has a villain! Hey, can I get my Universal executive producer title now?
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you know it could happen...
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Pong: The Movie.
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Jul 02, 2009 5:27:14 AM CDT
And yet..........STILL NO METROID..........................
by gibsonusa returns
This is getting ridiculous.
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(you know, the one with the knights riding ostrich-like birds) done like an 80's style Sword & Sorcery flick would be cool.
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quarters. Too fucking hard.
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Jul 02, 2009 5:35:29 AM CDT
METROID is the ridiculously obvious choice for a movie.
by gibsonusa returns
Moreso than Zelda, imo.
Alien homeworld...badass chick blasting her way through...an entire generation of fans...this could have been Transformers level success....but yet it is ignored in favor of random forgettable videogame franchises... -
barely see the screen and operate the controls (my poor father, giving us quarters to lose in seconds. Should've just taken us to a casino).
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video game movie, perhaps we'll get a Metroid live actioner.
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GIANT PIG!!!
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that's the video game movie that will sell.
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Then they gotta do Pong: The movie. And it's sequel Pong 2: Pong Harder
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Yeah, the state of the movie industry, at least the big Hollywood studio business, is really pathetic and they seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel.
You know what? I really can't blame them. If they see that one of the WORST movies EVER made, based on an 1980's toy line just earned $200 Million in one week's time, then 'ya know, pretty much any concept can work.
I'm just waiting for the inevitable: SHIT SHANDWICH, THE MOTION PICTURE, starring Shia Lebouf, Martin Lawrence, Lindsey Lohan, the entire cast of Twilight, and co-directed by both McG and Michael Bay. It'll make a mint. -
I see it now: Bruce Willis and his wisecracking crew are rocketed into space aboard the USS Witch Hazel, as mankind's only hope against the three mile wide mass of shit and inflamed blood vessels that threatens to wipe Hollywood off the map and replace it with a place where movies are once again made for the love of real storytelling and original ideas. Michael Bay directs via high speed hookup while simultaneously directing Transformers 4. Six hundred million dollars at the box office, and that's just the opening day.
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Jul 02, 2009 5:49:26 AM CDT
Well, I thought Pirates of the Caribbean would suck...
by kevin holsinger
...given that it was based on a ride at a theme park. Yet that spawned a trilogy and got Mr. Depp an Oscar nomination. So, IN THEORY, this could work.But it's still a heck of a gamble. Silent Hill was the best videogame-inspired movie I've seen, and that was just meh.
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lets see now, shall we? lol
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Jul 02, 2009 5:51:11 AM CDT
It's gonna be two hours of ships pooping triangles, huh?
by anna valerious
I just don't know about Lorenzo. He's convinced Sommers to put Sienna Miller in "G.I. JOE" (Despite the apparent "No Assholes" policy Sommers has), he thought TF2 was okay to release despite the problems... At least this won't be one of the movie tie-ins: http://tinyurl.com/nuz7ww I swear, that and the "JAWS" costume were bad ideas.
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- Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
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Who greenlights this shit?!! What next? A film based on a laundry list? Burn Hollywood burn! :-P
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Starring Arnie, Sly, and Bruce. Send my royalty checks in care of Harry once this becomes the biggest box-office blockbuster in history! You're welcome, Hollywood.
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Where people wander about dark rooms, eating pills and listening to repetitive bleepy music......Hmm! With hindsight
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This isn't adapting a game, its just making shit up.
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the AOTC space chase in the asteroid field but longer?
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Bayformers is proving that it just doesn't matter. The math is simple. . . 3-5 storyboarded action sequences plus a room full of computer nerds and graphic designers equals movie. The ad campaign takes care of the rest.
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Now that's a better game than Asteroids.
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I am a little biased, of course.
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Crap. UNLESS it's a zanny commedy like that 80s classic Joystick! "It's KING Vidiot for you!"
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He needs to drop every other project and work on this. Nolan Bushnell's story MUST BE TOLD!!!!
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and what a shit concept to base a movie on, has it really got a built in audience? Why not just make a space movie, with a great asteroid sequence. Oh wait, Empire Strikes Back.
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im sure hes free
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... the narrative for this will be simply fucking stunning.
Not. -
You have to sit in the theatre for about forty-five minutes while the movie loads onto the screen from a tape drive.
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There's a trilogy right there for you.
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No, but my dad does. Some days he can't even sit on the toilet, its so bad.
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The first 20 minutes are a straight up alien invasion, with the green insect ships flying down and destroying all our major cities and military forces.
But hope remains. In a last ditch effort to save humanity, a tank crew take command of a prototype tank (that for some reason can only fire straight up) and take to the streets.
Realising this lone tank could cause major problems for the invaders, they send every ship they have in wave after wave after wave of attack as the heroic tank crew try to shoot them down before the Invaders can fully descend and reach the ground where the tank can't fire because it can only fire straight upwards and thus end their heroic last stand.
SPACE INVADERS: THE MOVIE
Coming Soon....probably. -
No, but my dad does. Some days he can't even sit on the toilet, its so bad.
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Oh hell yeah!!!! Can't wait to play the video game adaptation of the movie adaptation of the video game...it's gonna rock hard!!!!
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No way in hell I'm paying to see a movie like this. OMG Hollywood is getting dumber by the day.
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Even if it's about a game. And no, I don't care that they're two different types of spacial objects.
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but I would not be surprised if this is just a piss poor low budget rip off of Armageddon.
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...it was so silly it could never happen?
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...that was his real name, but I really hated that little motherfucker.
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realized there were no Buffalo Wings in the movie- not one. fucking. wing.
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um...nevermind.
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That's the only reason you guys reported this, am I right? How about some Nolan BATMAN news? What's that? Nothing's happening? Bullshit! COME ON!!!
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From Wiki: According to Don Bluth and Gary Goldman a Dragon's Lair movie has been scripted and is ready to go into production once financing for the project is in place. The film will be in the classic, traditional 2D animation style. Currently, however, the project is in development hell.
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Have someone get on THAT one.
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BUM, bUM, buM, bum. BUM, bUM, buM, bum.BUM, bUM, buM, bum.BUM, bUM, buM, bum.
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You know it to be true.
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And could anyone make it past two screens of the light cycle race on TRON? Loved that game but it was a bitch.
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...sitting pillows on a black, velvety space background..."the itching...the burning...JUNE 1012"
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hollyweird is intellectually bankrupt
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Most definitely on Zelda by Peter Jackson. We subjected my buddy Nick to a LOTR Extended Edition marathon today (Wed) and his comment at the end was "That dude needs to make a Legend of Zelda movie. Hes the clear and obvious choice."
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My sentiments exactly.
From the tired jokes about other potential video game movies to the old "Is Hollywood out of original ideas???" posts, I feel like I've read this exact talkback dozens of times before... -
They did an 80's video game story right! Their "Space Invaders" episode was a riot. I am sure this will be just as good spun out over 90 minutes...wait....I am a little groggy...this is the worst idea since "Transformers". I hated that tiny space ship that would come out. This is stupid and funny all at the same time.
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Ninjas have captured the president, are you a Bad enough Dude to recuse him?
Directed by Michael Bay, starring Channing Tatum as Blade and Chris Pine as Striker. -
Starring Vin Diesel,
It would be like Babylon A.D., Only with a big yellow smiley face trying to smash him to death! -
Joust.... Pong....Cabal.... Do Hollywood execs have a Bounty out on original idea's!!!!! Has Rothman left Fox secretly and now works for Universal?
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Jonah Hill as the star...now that would be Superbad!
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where kids had to pick a game and get the high score and they had a game show.
I want the box set. -
For those of us who actually played at arcades with large stand up consoles...didn't you hate the kids who thought if they lined up a row of quarters along the bottom of the screen that it somehow saved their place at the machine for the rest of the day? Little shits.
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Armageddon, Deep Impact, Disaster Movie...how many times can keep reycling the same shit? Maybe they're just getting a jump on the incoming disaster-flick bandwagon pointed by 2012?
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What happened to the film adaptation of Oddworld?
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I definitely DID hate them. Yeah. That's why I'd stroll in with one quarter and rob them blind in 2-player games. My one quarter VS their whole allowance. I can guarantee you that "place taken" wasn't going to last long and my brother was going to have his turn soon enough. =)
As far as Asteroids: The Movie..... Still could've been worse. Wasn't there talk about a Monopoly or Candyland movie? At least you can make a movie about alien invasion, but CANDYLAND?!?!? -
This won't work. They won't be able to cram that much plot into one feature length movie. This needs a six hour miniseries minimum to really do the characters justice.
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That's for certain. He's turning into a total douche.
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You stole my idea. Just to hear "Intruder alert! Intruder alert" and "The humanoid must not escape" in Dolby digital surround...
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That would be the MJ biopic.
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Surely this should be a movie by now!
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this almost sounds like a good idea...
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Fuck Hollywood up the ass with a TRON joystick.
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That will be the best video-game-movie because you really cannot fuck that up! Can they?
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the cost of admission: 25 cents or 2 Chuck E. Cheese tokens
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...when Hollywood's creative laziness/bankruptcy trumps itself with the announcement of an ASTEROIDS movie. For fuck's sake...
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So a Joust or Pac Man movie isn't entirely off the table.
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Defender! DOOT!
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the story of a Space Shuttle, navigating the Death Star with a bizarre perspective, only to crash repeatedly into a force field...
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Pitch it as Armageddon with a Groundhogs day twist. Add Bruce Willis. $250m Budget.
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plus now theres red bull.
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pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
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... the inevitable Hollywood anti-American anti-Capitalism crap to be worked into this movie. "Don't you see? IT'S AMERICA! _WE_ CREATED THESE ASTEROIDS!" It will turn out that the asteroids were part of a black ops military project designed by white male industrialists to kill the environment. Mark my words.
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... I'd cast Ben Kingsley JUST to hear him say "Welcome to your DOOM!"
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Now, BERZERK actually WOULD make an amazing movie if done right. You'd have to keep the ethos of the game - "Touch the walls, touch the robots, touch anything ... AND YOU DIE!" Then it'd rule. #COIN DETECTED IN POCKET!#
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It was literally called LUNAR LANDER.
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damn you Hollywood and Micheal Bay for making that other asteroid film; armegeddon.
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SINISTAR! "Run Coward! RUN! I am ... Sin - i - star."
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Keep telling yourself that.
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"GOOOOOO for it!"
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Anyone remember this early game?
Strictly two player, an asteroids style ship and an Enterprise shaped ship. You could program all kinds a variables like speed, gravity, fast/slow missles, sun, blackhole...so many combinations.
Great fun. -
And not with Sly or Arnie either.
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a rogue chef, armed only with pepper, is hunted down in a 2D jungle gym by an egg and 3 sausages...
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has broken through the bottom of the barrel, they are scooping out the muck that was under the barrel. Actually the barrel broke from all of the incessant scraping, and they are sucking the muck off of the splinters and spitting it into mason jars.
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OH YES THERE WILL BE TRANSFATS
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No prize - but ... who here can come up with the best (not a joke, like mine above ... but real) tagline in conjunction with a video game movie. The tagline would be what's on the poster. Who will win?
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What happened to that?
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Already has a cool retro design to it.
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Mario Bros movie, just to see if its as bad as I remember it.
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that *All Your Base* meme game as a movie instead
it has that built in money shot when the villain delivers the epic line -
Starring Tony Hawk. Imagine the product placement fees soda and energy drink companies would pay...
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Wait, that one may have already been made as a porno...
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Moon Patrol
Summer 2012 -
Some that I think could work.
Half Life (James Cameron directing)
Thief (David Fincher)
Splinter Cell (Greengrass)
The Suffering (Wes Craven)
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His last jump...may be his last.
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He fast! Watch out!
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I'm shooting shooting all over the place I'm invisible now but I'll be back again when the enemy comes...I just gotta win!
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You could do a 100 percent faithful cinematic adaptation of many old school arcade games such as Asteroids. Consider the game the script pitch, containing elements which you then construct a story around. Unlike the toy/cartoon adaptations we're getting raped with this summer, these old games have no story to adapt, let alone ruin. They're a clean slate. I can think of any number of ways Asteroids could be turned into a genuinely good movie, while keeping every element from the game.
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Starring everyone who has ever appeared in an Ocean's Eleven sequel.
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I remember someone suggested a pong movie... did some zany executive read some smart arse talk backs ages ago and umm not having a sense of humour thought we were being serious and people really wanted this? ... You know I hope they make all these shitty remakes and no one watches them and they lose a shit load of money... I honestly see hollywood going to shit by rehashing everything over and over again just like the music industry did and then blaming a boogy man like piracy for their shitty business practices. It'll happen. If this constant remake reboot reimaging shit continues hollywood is fucked. More fucked than it is now. So please continue with this trend you fucking geniuses!
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black20.com/black20-trailer-park/dig-dug-rise-pookas-1
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why stop at video game. Traffic signs. Nouns, adjective, whatever.Inanimate obbjects. Everything deserves a movie. Stop sign the movie. Rock the movie. Water the movie. Verb the movie. Noun the movie. Lettuce the movie. Thought the movie. Walk - the movie. Exclamation point - the movie.
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YOU ARE NOW WARRIOR THE STRONGEST IN THE WORLD!
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WHEN YOU LIE ABOUT WHAT WILL BE IN ALL YOUR GAMES ...
... PEOPLE STOP BUYING THEM. -
"No, but my Dad does - some days he can't even sit on the toilet."
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Daphne is a part made for...?
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Section Z
Robotron
Major Havoc
Any body else ever play "Cliffhangers" - The Lupin The Third game? or the Harmegedon one? I think it was called "Begas Battle" or something like that
Some adaptions I think we'll someday see produced are - Metroid (They're probably waiting for another new game to re-stir the interest)
Splinter Cell, Gears of War, Zelda
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A bad ass knight going up against Satan...that has hit written all over it. I'd also like to see a 720 movie. Maybe Josh Brolin could reprise his role from "Thrashin'"
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LOL! 720 would be a fantastic movie, except that it would be five minutes long if it were based on my experiences playing it. I'd put in a quarter, do a trick or two, and suddenly bees would fly out of the side of the screen with a voice saying SKATE ... OR ... DIE and then I'd die. Yay! SKATE OR DIE is a good tagline, though.
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Coming soon to a butthole near you.
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I used to play both of those. With CLIFF HANGER I never got past the part with the driving down the street and avoiding the other cars. With Bega I could get pretty far, but I never solved it. "Bega does not fear ...!" "I AM ALL THINGS IN ALL FORMS!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iloK0RIzNk And http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=776shC9pi1M&feature=related
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Any old-school AICNers will remember me (as ZeroCorpse) posting my script to ASTEROIDS: THE MOVIE starring Christopher Walken as the Captain.
They will also remember that I laid out BURGER TIME: THE MOVIE, also starring Christopher Walken as Mr. Pickle (and Jack Black as Peter Pepper).
I knew it was only a matter of time. -
Now that would be hot as long as they incorporated the big tits cheat code into the screenplay.
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Someone made a "failure montage" on Youtube; it's perfect Zen. You need to watch this, all the way through, and enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjB-79hwhcs&feature=related
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Is from I_Snake_Plissken. Good talk Snake.
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a floating space pirate armed only with a plasma rifle fights Easter Island heads and two headed space snakes while navigating a strange planet of magic mushrooms...
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Jul 02, 2009 11:03:24 AM CDT
I totally rocked at BADLANDS, ut Hollywood is still out of juic
by artyfufkin
This is really plumbing the depths. You hacks in suits should be ashamed of yourselves how much more of your rotting souls can you whore out? No wonder there is so much piracy and also those willing to buy pirated discs....for fucks sakes.
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Thank you. I loved the power lever more than anything. Why can't they build, cookers, washing machines, showers or cars like that.
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It's truly stunning all the great unproduced scripts collecting dust and the marketing idiots in charge jump on stupid stupid shit like this. And I loved Asteroids. But...there is no story. Nor should there be. You blow up rocks with a spaceship. Finis.
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Since videogames have became more like movies, hell, even with better plots and motivation, producers are going back to the simple games of their childhood with plots that can be attached to the simplest of concepts. After screwing up Resident Evil and Doom, and their game mythology, why not?
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that Hollywood is brain dead...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs
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Yes, it's possible to make a good movie about a ship destroying asteroids. But why attach the name "Asteroids: The Movie" to it? Why not use some creativity and make something that will stand on its own instead of leeching off of an already established name? It's just pure laziness on the part of Hollywood producers milking any established, semi-successful property for any pennies they can get their greedy hands on.
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anyone?
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That was in preproduction for YEARS! AICN- no articles about it in THP or Variety? Looks like you're fresh out of sources, eh?
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And wasn't John Woo supposed to direct? I guess we chased him out of Hollywood after Paycheck.
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should do a Ratchet and Clank..in 3D. As long as it retains Captain Qwark.
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is a sad thing. Will the entire movie be in black and white???
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Starring Hollywood!
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The Barry Bonds story.
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the lamest, most shallow piece of shit to come out of the human race thus far.
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I saw the shit out of it!
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Hollywood you are dead. Fuck off before you stink the place up.
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I waited months, MONTHS! to write that joke!
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What happened?
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Like 2012... only BOOM BLOX!!!
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= asses in seats.
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The most viseral bow and arrow shoot out action you'll ever see!!!
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Nailing those wavejumps in slo mo with tropical island doves !
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It'll be 10 years worth of research into spherical liquid shapes that explode and mesh well with the other colourful spheres for a very colourful 3D experience, but storyline comes first about an era where we must fight evil bubbles by using our own avatar controlled and manufactured bubble doubles and focuses on the relationship of those lizard things that turn the handle and load the next bubble before the ceiling of destiny accelerates the bad bubbles past our atmospheric defense line thus ending us all!
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Well you get the idea...
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Anyway, same plot as Armagedon or whatever?
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I give up on Hollywood.
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Ok this could be a cool movie. Earth gets a super advanced warning about a bunch of asteriods coming for earth. They covert most of the major citys into asteroid Destroyers. Basically a bunch of turrents on the ground that shoot matter vaproizing HHO laser at the incoming asteroids. It becomes a day in day out job. Since the asteriods attacks last several years. Aliens show up at some point, and we relaize that the barrage of asteriods was the aliens doing- Hoping to pick the planet clean of us. Now it's War.....
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custer%27s_Revenge directed by Paul Anderson and starring Gary Busey.
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You know you want it.
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That game ruled.
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They'll make Candyland, Battleship and Asteroids but they won't put up the funds for a Halo movie? WTF is wrong with these people?
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Only man can save us...John McCain....Asteroid Killer. When he couldn't win the presidency he became the logical choice to be sent out into space to defend us from the greatest threat ever faced by mankind. BIG ASS ASTEROIDS. With Sarah Palin as his sidekick/gunner. John McCain is going to save us all in the film you always wanted to see but didn't know it...ASTEROIDS. In SUMMER 2011 John McCain is going to Rock the solar system because he didn't get to nuke Iran!
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woof.
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Jul 02, 2009 3:06:27 PM CDT
Checking IMDB this Matthew Lopez guy also wrote Bedtime
by professor_monster
Stories. So that's two shit films and now he's on this. They don't don't make writers like they used to - if they did they would turn shit like this down and save the american public from seeing it made.
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It practically writes itself!
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Good one, my friend. Can't wait for September. Love the promo with all the home bands.
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Bear Grylls.
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Why?
Some old arcade games make you think immediately about strange worlds and back stories. JOUST, perhaps. Or SPY HUNTER. At a push, maybe even DEFENDER. But ASTEROIDS? Nope, nothing springs to mind. -
Maybe the lame plots of videogames derail the writing process. Having absolutely ZERO plot whatsoever, and no characters... you have to admit it's FEASIBLE that someone could create something of value on their own from a concept that involves a spaceship and asteroids.
Altered Beast would be cool, or how about Shadow of the Beast, AMIGA game but I would pay to see that. Or Another World, that was a cinematic and quite Avatar... -
Jul 02, 2009 4:31:02 PM CDT
RAD RACER movie with Depp, hot blond, and convertible.
by gibsonusa returns
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I vote for Ballblazer.
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Legend of Zelda??? Or is a 2d black and white ship breaking up giant rocks a better idea??
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Which I think was called Out of This World in North America. Yeah, fantastically inventive game. Think it was French IIRC.
Monkey Island could work. Obviously POTC would have stolen some of its thunder, although it was always more absurdist in its tendencies. Slightly Princess Bride-ish. -
Seriously. I wrote and produced a short film called AGAINST THE WALL. Futuristic setting with CGI. We shot on the RED, the digital camera that Soderbergh and Peter Jackson have used, and it looks great. Our inspirations were Tron, 2001, Twilight Zone. Our goal was to make a video game adaptation more cerebral - and hopefully better - than most. We're in post right now and we hope to finish this fall. Stay tuned.
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Think about it!
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. . . in Hollywood. I live there. I work in the biz. And everybody here is RIGHT. Their ideas are gone, just gone. That said, I'm not opposed to this movie. I was born in '74 so I'm an '80s boy all the way. Here's what I propose:
A "space" movie that combines SEVERAL video games. Asteroids could be part of it, but you could mix in Space Invaders, Sinister, etc. Now THERE'S a big damn movie!
As for other video games I'd like to see made into movies:
Pitfall (in the style of Pirates and Indiana Jones). Metroid (in the style of Anime or Aliens). Zelda (in the style of Lord of the Rings). Contra (in the style of Predator). And, most of all, when in the bloody blue(ray) hell do we get Don Bluth's DRAGON'S LAIR on the big screen???!!! -
Starring Shia Labeouf as the tube of toothpaste. It will be epic!
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Shit that ones real
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Genius.
Directed by Michel Gondry. -
I can't wait to see how they explain the physics of screen wrap-around. Hmm ... warp bubbles of finite space delivering bombardments of meteors towards Earth (Starship Troopers style)? OK, maybe it can be done :)
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Seriously. You think the old one was good? It was crap loads of crap just like Land of the Lost.
Nostalgia says"Remember my youth, better movies and TV shows"
It was crap then, crap now. Transformers was a crappy cartoon and I must say the movies are far superior to those stupid cartoons. -
They were called Armageddon and Deep Impact.
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Pulse pounding soundtrack with Bruce Willis as the pilot.
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one man with a pump .... f jb
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Directed by JJ Abrams.
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Starring J-Lo.... or maybe its a gay porno?
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It's called GI JOE
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I reckon the studio is using AWESOME-O to supply movie idea's!
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Looks like Peter Jackson's Legend of Zelda gets the biggest thumbs up, Harry, make the call!
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God I miss Mister Show. The last racist in the galaxy Ha! There truly is no one at the helm in Hollywood.
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Apologies if this was already answered above.
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Directed by Hideo Kojima.
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2 hours of that.
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If anyone is old enuff to remember that one. I'd like a Sinistar movie.... "I LIVE!!!"....The Asteroids Galaxy Tour can do the soundtrack to the Asteroids movie....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_1KlWFJyA
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Directed by Park Chan Wook
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Think of it... an up and coming boxer named Little Mac, in a blood transfusion gone wrong, gets infected by radioactivity, then his hair turns green and becomes super-strong and helps found a new boxing league of mutant fighters! Tyson could make a cameo... or Stallone! It practically writes itself!
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Or ET reboot, based on the Atari version.
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The POTC series ripped it off, majorly.
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...with Russell Crowe
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....would be the sequel followed by Super G&G(3) & Ultimate G&G(4).....
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http://tinyurl.com/ln7jm2
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people get paid to come up with ideas in Hollywood, but then I remembered they were simply better optioning them. I don't know how far the powers that be want to carry this slavish yen to appease our respective deferred adulthoods, but what I do know is Asteroids is perhaps the most underwhelming way to do it...unless of course they let me see it for a quarter.
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You know it would work.
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It's not Asteroids Movie... it's "A Steroids Movie", starring Hulk Hogan, Mickey Roark, 250 NFL football players and Sly Stallone's Dick Veins!!
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Burgertime: The Movie, starring Jack Black. It's kind of funny how Jack Black is the first name that comes to mind for these video game movies.
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Do they pitch these ideas to a focus group of monkeys or something?
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Supposedly the femmes dig this game the most. Figures. Tetris is like what avalanches would be like if chicks ran them: bigass rocks fall into neat little modular crevices and arrange themselves into pleasing patterns that totally complement each other and bring interest and texture into their surroundings. Thus robbing a devastating act of God and force of nature of its virtue. And making it, I might add, gay as hell.
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A lone, vector triangle must defend itself against of oncoming circles that break into pieces when shot in this soul stirring epic from the man that brought you Galaxian: The Ballet...
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He should have had Vincent Gallo battle odd shaped falling blocks!
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Not a single one of you missed the obvious: George Lucas directs "Missle Command". Shia Lebouf stars in the far reaching Sci-fi fantasy about a young man with an innate ability to shoot missles out of the
sky. It's one man vs. Kim Jong Il and North Korea as they attempt to carpet nuke us to hell!!! Liam Neeson co-stars as the mentor, teaching him how to feel the missles approach, and blow then outta the sky. Alsto starrying Rachel McAdams for the love interest who only loves him when he is shooting missles.
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The Movie! Brought to you by the incredible teaming of McG and Uwe Boll
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Based on the 2006 game. Al Pacino could play Tony Montana.
I do like the Toobin'/McConaughey concept. That could definitely work. I'm visualizing a cameo for Curtis Armstrong. -
How ironic...
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Bringing racism to space!
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I can't believe you guys didn't think of this.
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Starring Fred Ward and Barry Corbin.
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You know you want it!!
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