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The ritual stoning continues--Capone has his way with TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN!!!

Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here. I got home after watching the new TRANSFORMERS film a little dazed, with a mild headache, ears ringing, slight vertigo, and a low-level depression, knowing that a generation of moviegoers (perhaps even two generations) would watch Michael Bay's latest offering and consider it…impressive, groundbreaking? Who knows? But the film's complete and utter dismissal of anything resembling a cohesive story or even two-dimensional characters (three dimensions would clearly be asking too much) is what disturbed me most. And while I could be like many, and simply sit here and type a succession of expletive-punctuated statements about Bay's abilities as a filmmaker or the utter contempt he has for his audience's ability to appreciate a well-conceived plot, that's not what I'm going to do here. I'm simply going to walk through what I liked and what I did not, and hope that I don't let my emotions or my throbbing headache get the best of me. I did something last weekend that I rarely do before going into a sequel--I went back and watched the original. I did this because I literally could not remember a single thing about the first TRANSFORMERS movie. I also went back to reread my review of the original film, and I was surprised by how accepting I was of large portions of what I saw two years ago. But I realized while watching REVENGE OF THE FALLEN that many of the elements I appreciated about the first film still hold true. The one thing I will always give Bay credit for is showing us something we have never seen before, and this film has about 5,000 such moments. Seriously, if I'd had the ability to turn off the audio on this film, I might have done just that, because the special effects are often mind-blowing. From the tiniest insect-size robot to the enormous, pyramid-destroying Decepticon made up of about a dozen different construction vehicles, Bay literally hurls new robot after new robot at us to the point where we barely have time to notice the Transformer characters from the previous film. Bay stages battle sequences the way a three-year old plays with Lego’s. He dumps everything out at once in one loud crash, and just starts snapping pieces together and tossing them into each other. I’ll admit, there is something mildly awe-inspiring about watching that much money get hurled around the screen. And much like a child at play, things get loud, there’s a lot of screaming, and shit gets destroyed. I could go through all of the terrible plot decisions and confusing story elements that never really get cleared up, but there just isn’t the time and I don’t have the inclination. Okay, maybe one thing--if the Decepticons can make themselves look human (as one robot who visits Sam at college does), then why don’t they all just do that all the time? Wouldn’t that make their job of infiltrating and destroying humans so much easier? Here’s another question, Do any of the women in Michael Bay’s universe own skirts that go below the upper thigh other than Sam Witwicky’s mom (which doesn’t stop Bay from being the butt of some pretty overt sexual humor)? As much fun as it is driving a semi through the plot holes of a Michael Bay movie, that’s not really reviewing the film. But it is part of the movie-going experience of seeing REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. So much of the film and the decisions the characters make seem counterintuitive. For example, why would there be dumb robots? For all of the discussion and sensitivity displayed on this and other sites about the home-bots, Mudflap and Skids (both voiced by a white voice actor named Tom Kenny, best known as the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants), nothing will quite prepare you for just how patently offensive these characters are. And I understand that the good-guy Autobots pick up human characteristics and voices from watching our media, but what the hell were these bug-eyed, gold-toothed, illiterate robots observing? Al Jolson movies? The filmmakers also decided to bring back John Turturro for this second go-round as the former Sector 7 agent from the first film, so we don’t really need additional comic relief from slap-happy ‘bots. What else do you really need to know? Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox are back as now-established couple Sam and Mikaela. Sam is off to college, leaving Mikaela to work in her auto-body shop with her dad (now released from prison, in a wheelchair, and largely dialogue free). The AutoBots have incorporated themselves nicely with a special branch of the military that seeks out Decepticons and kills them. So all is right in the world until an ancient race of Transformers who visited earth thousands of years ago and are frozen under deep in the ice are set free. Then there’s some crap about Decepticons who still exist on the rapidly crumbling home planet of the Transformers. Then it turns out that some of the exhibits at the Air and Space Museum in D.C. are actually Transformers, but having just seen the NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM sequel (and having grown up in the D.C. area), it’s very clearly not the real museum. Then there’s the old British Decepticon who it turns out has switched sides; then there’s the Decepticon named The Fallen (voiced by Tony Todd) who’s even more evil than Megatron (still voiced by Hugo Weaving). Then Sam gets a secret robot language imprinted on his brain. Then they end up destroying pyramids in Egypt. Got all that? Now explain it to me, please. Look, I don’t need a film to make 100 percent sense for me to enjoy watching it. But when a film like REVENGE OF THE FALLEN does everything in its power to create as much noise and chaos as it can to push you away from the screen, how am I supposed to get engaged in a film like that? The truth is, I’ve always appreciated Michael Bay’s ability to direct large-scale, complicated action sequences, but this is the film that finally defeated him. The sequences just don’t make any goddamned sense a lot of the time. There are too many characters, and, yes, I’ll say it, a lot of these robots look alike, so sometimes I can’t even tell who I’m supposed to be rooting for. As I mentioned earlier, the special effects in this film are seamless, while being almost impossible to appreciate fully. This was the absolutely most frustrating part of watching this movie. I could tell something cool was going on behind all the dust and spare parts, but I’ll be damned if I could pass a test on what I was seeing or hearing. Look, I’m neither a Michael Bay apologist nor a knee-jerk hater. I’ve admired some of what he accomplished in the first TRANSFORMERS effort, and was utterly turned off by most of what was going on in REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. The entire experience watching this film was like witnessing a filmmaker dare his audience to try to make sense of, or even like, his movie. I’m not the sort of person who can turn off my brain entirely or lower my expectations in advance of any movie, but TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN really made me wish I could have done either. This isn’t the worst film I’ve seen this year, or even this summer, but it’s the one that tries the hardest and still manages to fail so completely. -- Capone

Readers Talkback
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  • June 24, 2009, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Transformers 2 was Awesome!


    No, not really.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Sounds Like a Richard Kelly Film


    "The entire experience watching this film was like witnessing a filmmaker dare his audience to try to make sense of, or even like, his movie."<br><br>It's a big budget, robot-filled, Shia-sporting Southland Tales.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:35 a.m. CST


    by petergrifin

    is lost of actoin amd is also funny .peeple who dont like it are idoits and not patroits !MICHEL BAY RULES AND IS BEST DIRECTINGACTOIN MOVIES !

  • June 24, 2009, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Maybe the racism-bots just watched MTV?

    by DerLanghaarige

    And btw, with every negative review, I wanna watch that movie more and more! Seriously, this just sounds like that kind of epic fail that you can only witness every 25-30 in you local cinema! And since I'm planning to raise my kids as movie geeks, I have to see this movie in theater. Just to tell them, well...I saw it in theatre!

  • June 24, 2009, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Best review yet.

    by alfiemoon

    As much fun as it is to mercilessly hack a film to pieces (and some of those other reviews are a lot of fun to read), this one sets out exactly why it didn't work without resorting to name-calling or needless offence. Nice work Capone.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:44 a.m. CST

    i want to punch Bay in the balls

    by Judge Briggs

    horrible hack director.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Another bad review

    by CaseyMcCall

    Who knew!

  • June 24, 2009, 9:49 a.m. CST

    I'm so glad

    by ballyhoo

    that AICN is pretty tearing this film apart. Yet, I read Moriarty's review at Hitfix, and it still seems like he's making excuses. The time for excuses are over. We need to tank Bay movies again and again. Until his films stop being big moneymakers.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Look, I use "Look" to start a paragraph too often

    by bah

  • June 24, 2009, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Let's have an articulate defender of this film!

    by Mr Gorilla

    OK, so most people hate this, and I hated the first one so much that I won't see the second, but the one thing that's lurking at the backs of our minds is this: The 10-year-old boys who are lapping this film up - do they REALLY love this as much as they love Star Trek or Potter? And will they love it as much when they grow up? Are we, as a viewing generation, out of step? (Just as many of the people who hated the first Star Wars were, IMO - they didn't respond to the mythological side, they didn't root for Luke and Leia and Han, they didn't think the robots were funny, or the action exciting, they just saw lots of noise and effects.) I would love someone to go beyond the 'don't expect Shakespeare' argument and tell us why they think this is vital popular cinema.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:52 a.m. CST


    by TELF

    Maybe they were wacthing this Ed McMahon show<p>

  • June 24, 2009, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Man, and I was soooo looking forward to this one.

    by alucardvsdracula

    Michael Bay in shit movie shocker? Who'd have thought it, eh? Next you'll be telling me that Brett Ratner, McG and Paul (Wanker Shitfucker) Anderson are rubbish as well. Don't believe a word of it.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:54 a.m. CST

    So there are Transformers from prehistory in this?

    by rev_skarekroe

    And they didn't make 'em Dinobots? What a wasted opportunity.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Frozen guys?

    by Boredatwork

    Don't remember anyone getting set free? they were all dead!

  • June 24, 2009, 9:57 a.m. CST

    We need to start a summer blockbuster reform movement...

    by bishopfan85

    I mean hasn't this gotten just a little redundant by now? We go through this EVERY summer. We star to learn about a film being in development a year or more prior to its release and spend months following its progress while some rep (usually a producer or the director himself) give some glowing vision of how they plan to bring [insert franchise character name] to life on the big screen with a great story, amazing effects, a stellar cast and all the trimmings. We eat it up, we hunger for more, we listen to production updates, watch the teasers, then the full trailers and even try to avoid peeking at unauthorized set footage taken by crewmember b who doesn't think his union pay is worth protecting this multi-million dollar project that he's only seeing less than a quarter of a percent of its earnings. With all this said, we end up with a finished product that makes us wonder how the hell did they manage to screw this up!?! It seems like making a movie in many ways shouldn't be very different from building a house if in no other way then by the basic principle of starting with a foundation. For films, the very core of every single movie should be a well developed plot encased in an amazing story. Before the movie should even be greenlit the race is supposed to be on for the writer to complete a screenplay that simply blows away every knowledgable associate who reads it and from that point on the movie should fall in the hands of the director who explicity understands to build around that vision without dessimating the story (foundation) in the process. This isn't chess people, it's checkers!

  • June 24, 2009, 9:58 a.m. CST

    I'm not just saying that to be an ass.

    by Mr Gorilla

    And, really, I get that if you plucked out a 30 second segment it would pretty much blow your mind, Bay delivers big effects shots AMAZINGLY. But it's just that after that, the quick cutting and the pacing over the 2 hours - I just don't get it! And to be honest, I remember finding the cutting exhausting to watch in Armageddon, many years ago.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:59 a.m. CST

    I'd rather

    by kolchak

    spend eternity in a cage with a naked Megan Fox, slathered in honey, just out of reach than spend money on this movie.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    That Jessica Rabbit figurine is freaking HOT

    by Nasty In The Pasty

  • June 24, 2009, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I've read all of the reviews of this movie...

    by jimmy rabbitte

    so far; and I'm finding it's about what I expected it would be. However, I realize that no matter how disappointed people are finding it to be, no matter how many lackluster reviews it gets; this movie is, in the end, bullet proof and will pull in huge numbers. Like it or not, this thing won't be going away quietly.<p> Thanks for the words of warning AICN guys. If I end up seeing this at all, it will be via a Netflix rental.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:12 a.m. CST

    So basically, T4: Salvation > Transformers 2

    by Bentley_Bear

    At least that's the consensus.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:14 a.m. CST

    bishopfan 85

    by Mr Gorilla

    You are totally right, dude. But to that I would like to add: I always thought that the reason these films are often bad is because for a director to take on the scale, you know, be juggling actors, and digital effects, to be able to tell an emotional story and put on a great action sequence - I always thought that it was VERY HARD. That only a VERY FEW directors could do it. Well, turns out it IS very hard work - but many times now we have seen directors of small scale-stuff take on big-scale and be GREAT. Look what David Yates is doing with Potter. (And, indeed, what Mike Newall did.) Look how Ang Lee went from Ice Storm to Crouching Tiger. Or Bryan Singer from Usual Suspects to X and X2. Or Sam Raimi to Spider-Man, Peter Jackson to LOTR. The last two aside, these guys were not known for action setpieces or scale, but they ALL delivered v entertaining and thrilling blockbuster. With the right support etc, it IS possible to give big films to good directors and not get shit films. And - listen here Hollywood - the GOOD films will make you FAR more money in the long run. My bet is that in 10 years time, people won't be watching Transformers because - know what? - people like to be told a story.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by Volfan8404

    Several of my friends have told me today that it was awesome summer fun. I'm sure it won't be as great as the legendary "Watchmen"....but i'm sure a hell of a lot more people will see it!

  • June 24, 2009, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Kenny only does the voice of "Skids"

    by aikimoe

    Reno Wilson, who is black, does the voice of Mudflap.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Whoa whoa whoa Capone, you missed a LOT of shit

    by D.Vader

    There are no Transformers frozen in ice? Where did you get that? <p> And they never go back to Cybertron. I'm pretty sure The Fallen and the Decepticons' base was on the dark side of Saturn, or one of its moons. Nothing there suggested Cybertron. <p> And I'm sure we saw Mikaela's dad *walk* out of the garage before her cyberdate with Sam. <p> Honestly, were you playing on your phone the whole time or something? Not trying to be insulting, but that's a lot of mistakes you just made.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:18 a.m. CST


    by petergrifin

    sereosly guys you has to see it transfromers 2 becase it it is all you want reely and is new styel of movie for futture !all of movies shold be like transofrmers 2 in the fututure becase, its reelly enterrtauninga nd the spceial affect are aamazing and esplosoins amd the actings of shai and megagn fox and she she is hotter that any of girl youknow from yor reel life and you aall wish she is your girlfrend and aslo the litle orobots are funnist thing i ever ,saw an d not racist so shut fuck up saying these thingsabout that racist becase its not truue !this is most america movie ever madeand it proof that america is nunber one in world and we are are bettter andstronger than all of restof world !i see it in egnland when i has visitsmy my dad and all of england peepel walk out laufing but i cheerd and sayd americas is number 1 ameirca is number 1 and engalnd fags are just jelous so they can can fuck of and sereosly i will punch fukc out of somone i see if they dont like michel bay or transormers 2 !its much better than than anything you liek !and its about 9/11 aslo so yuo need to see it then or else you not patroit !

  • June 24, 2009, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Prime was kind of a homocidal maniac in this one

    by YackBacker

    Anyone else notice that Prime was mercilessly killing Decepticons? I mean there were points where he had bad guys on their back and our leader simply tore their faces off or blasted large holes in their chests. Prime needs therapy.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay gotta eat...

    by David Assholehoff

    ...your mashed up eyeballs like smegma jam on his melba toast.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Anyone remember the pimp-bot from "The Ice Pirates"

    by cookylamoo

    Now THAT was funny!

  • June 24, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Ice Pirates = GOLD

    by David Assholehoff

    You know it, Cookylamoo

  • June 24, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    This movie must really SUCK

    by Reckoner

    What a shame... At least we have PUBLIC ENEMIES to look forward to.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Anyone notice all the robot movies coming up?

    by kbarber29

    Look below this article, there's one for Robotech, one for Robocop... holy crap, do people honestly get the green light to make robot movies when they see one robot film on the big screen!?

  • June 24, 2009, 10:31 a.m. CST


    by Davidhessstation

    Don't forget we just had Terminator 4.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Let that 8 year old kid who reviews the comics review it

    by Righteous Brother

    out of curiosity.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST

    I had no intention of ever seeing this film....

    by Righteous Brother

    but I'm slowly being talked round by these reviews. Check brain at door, bathe eyeballs in giant robot smashing giant robot goodness.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:34 a.m. CST

    This is not an action movie..

    by theneonsamurai

    .. I get a little annoyed by the idea that Micheal Bay is a good action director. The only thing he's good at shooting is explosions. That's not action. It's like watching porn without the fucking, just the cumshots.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Yackbacker, that's pretty funny

    by D.Vader

    I did think Prime was a bit ruthless when he pretty much executed that first Decepticon.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Bay can't direct action well.

    by Rev. Slappy

    This is the defense of him I can't understand. The action scenes in the first Transformers were incomprehensible. ILM was doing great work with the robots and Bay never lets us see it. He is a hack of the highest order.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST

    The Rock is a fucking great action movie

    by Righteous Brother

    I don't care for the rest of Bays output though. Well............maybe Armageddon.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:36 a.m. CST


    by Merrick

    That would be "character development" :-/

  • June 24, 2009, 10:37 a.m. CST

    I didn't mind Terminator Salvation.

    by Azlam Orlandu

    But then again I'm not as emotionally attached to that franchise as I am Transformers and in that regard Bay's films fucking suck the life out of me.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST

    DerLanghaarige is spot on, as always...

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    in both the subject line and comment section of his above post--This is epic fail that must be seen on the silver screen! <p> Commenting on the former, the writers of this sight must truly be out of the cultural loop if they aren't aware that there exist in America individuals who act like Mudflap and Skids. And trust me, it's NOT just black people: I'm currently working and temporarily residing in a fairly poor rural part of the south that has white, black, and hispanic guys displaying these "idiosyncracies."

  • June 24, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST

    I'm just happy to know that

    by fassbinder79

    Hurt Locker is good. Was looking forward to that too. We need more good movies from Hollywood about our troops. Our troops are fighting hard for us every day and we get crap like Redacted. Sounds like Bigelow really knocked it out of the park which isn't really a surprise seeing as she's a badass.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Can Someone Answer A Question...

    by Captain Papercut

    What's it like to work on a Bay film? Obviously, it must be miserable and I'm guessing he's so awful that no one -- even people with a bit of power like the effects directors or supervisors -- can point out when something is just wrong wrong wrong. I'm sure he rants and if you don't do something right he screams at you for 15 minutes -- or just fires you right then and there. But at least if Cameron is screaming at you, there's at least the possibility that what you are working on will be at least awesome, if not a classic. So is a Bay set just lots of hard working and talented people trying the best they can, and trying to stay out of trouble, but ultimately knowing that all the effort and stress will be for a terrible product?

  • June 24, 2009, 10:44 a.m. CST

    southpark nailed bay perfectly already

    by palewook

    "Those Aren't Ideas, They're Special effects.."

  • June 24, 2009, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Remind me why are the troops fighting again?

    by Righteous Brother

    I always forget.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:47 a.m. CST

    southpark link for anyone that missed it

    by palewook

    1 minute in is bay: <p>

  • June 24, 2009, 10:48 a.m. CST

    But on one hand, I am with you guys

    by D.Vader

    If it were McG, I would definitely be sure to stop by and say "Hey McG- your ideas suck. Your original ending for T:S is terrible, and your idea for the sequel sounds like a 12 yr old fantasy."

  • June 24, 2009, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Shit wrong Talkback...

    by D.Vader

  • June 24, 2009, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Will TOFAG be giving us her report this weekend?

    by Dick Bahls

    I saw the movie, it sucked. More importantly - will TOFAG (Tits Out For Attention Girl) be giving her regular report?

  • June 24, 2009, 10:57 a.m. CST

    so I watched a cam version just now, prime is stone cold in chin

    by ironic_name

  • June 24, 2009, 10:58 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

  • June 24, 2009, 11 a.m. CST

    wasn't so bad on computer, could mute and fast forward

    by ironic_name

    matinee or skipping for dvd.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:02 a.m. CST

    mcg would have done a much better job.

    by ironic_name

  • June 24, 2009, 11:02 a.m. CST

    think about the ludicrousness of that statement.

    by ironic_name

  • June 24, 2009, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Something tells me this will be internet-exclusive hate

    by Spandau Belly

    I'm guessing this will be another one of those movies that everybody online hates, but everybody I meet in real life thinks is okay.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:02 a.m. CST

    All I fucking hear is that there is too much action

    by Cronkit

    Shut the fuck up. Its Transformers. What do you fucking expect. You want a Spiderman 3 love story in it, dont you. You dont want action, you want to make out all the time. You want to get gay with Mcheal Bay

  • June 24, 2009, 11:03 a.m. CST

    If they Fuck up the My Little Pony movie....

    by Righteous Brother

    and Rainbow Brite..........they'll be fucking hell to pay!

  • June 24, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    the reviews of the main

    by stemjsim

    guys are getting worse all the time. As pointed out did you even pay attention to the movie? Megatron being revived and the moon of Saturn? The Fallen is the ancient "bad" prime who is wanting to destroy the world. I know that you went into the film wanting to dislike it but at least pay attention to the film you are trying to review.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    But the Ad

    by Series7

    Revenue keeps coming in.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:05 a.m. CST

    So is this going to try to compete

    by Series7

    With Crank 2 as the most awesome movie of the year? It can't be that good, can it?

  • June 24, 2009, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Why get defensive?

    by elektro87

    Every review I've read of this movie reads like an apology by the critic for not liking the movie. Its dumb and boring, sure. Why not just come out and say it? When did fanboys start hanging out on Michael Bay's dick? All his movies suck, why be afraid of stating the obvious?

  • June 24, 2009, 11:10 a.m. CST

    At home its easier to see the action.

    by knowthyself

    Than on the huge theater screens for some reason. I was rewatching transformers and my eyes were finally able to catch alot of the robot action they just couldn't process in the movie theaters. Maybe part II has the same problem?

  • June 24, 2009, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Transformers 2: Tour of Egypt

    by Falafalguy

    Thanks for stopping the robots from fighting and showing us the entire fucking country of Egypt for 40 minutes.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:13 a.m. CST

    I do give Bay credit for keeping the transformers "Big".

    by knowthyself

    It was a very spielberg-esque decision to always focus on the humans over the robots. When Megatron and Prime are duking it out in the first film instead we are focused on Sam and the cube. This was a good decision. The problem is that bays humans are also robots so he's really still focusing in on the robots even when they aren't on screen. One positive thing to note is that at least the transformers always feel big and giant. Too many wide shots and they start to seem small. A mistake alot of other movies make.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:14 a.m. CST


    by TaiPanJoe

    I watched the film last night and liked it... I had fun, wich is what I wanted... And the flick delivered for me... I can understand the fanboys need for an epic story (in a transformers film?, really?) but personally, I do NOT watch Michael Bay films for the story, never have, never will... Why are people so surprised? I have to say that I liked the story of this one better that the story from the first film... Yes, there is a story in this movie, and it's NOT HARD TO FOLLOW!!!! I mean, fuck, how retarded do you have to be to not understand this film's plot (I don't care wether you liked it or not)so all these reviews that claims "not being able to follow the story" or the film being "so loud I had a headache" just sound (or reads) idiotic, pompous (sp?) even... Like people trying to be cool or make themselves sound academic or intelligent because the status quo dictates that this movie is supossed to be hated... Did anyone REALLY expected something more from Michael Bay? I see the guy's films because a part of me likes the dumb, popcorn and soda fueled moviegoing experience and enjoy it for what it is... If you don't like these kind of films, you only enjoy art films and believe hollywood is crap... then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WATCHING THIS???!!!! There's an audience for every film, so, THINK about what you are going to see BEFOREHAND so you don't have to "waste two hours" of your life or worse, 12$ of your hard earned money. Oh! and the action was NOT hard to follow either... not even in the first film!! Did people watched it in the first row of the movie theatehr? because that's the only way I can think of why nobody could follow the action...

  • June 24, 2009, 11:15 a.m. CST


    by pdennett316

    Action means nothing if you don't give a shit about any of the characters or why they're doing what they're doing. <p> More importantly, it means nothing if you can't see a fucking thing and THAT is what people are complaining about, not that there's too much.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:23 a.m. CST

    I'm a knee-jerk hater...

    by MJohnson

    Bay blows. End of discussion.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:25 a.m. CST

    It should be noted

    by Uncle Pooky

    that this movie was entertaining.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Does Prime get pissed on again?

    by Norm

    I was done with Transformers 1 after that moment, I've got better things to do with my time and I'm not shelling out $20 for piss and fart jokes.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by DatoMan413


  • June 24, 2009, 11:38 a.m. CST

    It's really not that bad, why they all can't look like humans..

    by sonnyfern

    Seriously. People are making it sound like this movie is just one, big, loud noise filled with chaos where it's just impossible to tell what's going on and that's not really the case at all. The plot, while basically just a massive quest where one thing leads to another (the shard leads them to robot, they bring him to life, that robot leads them to egypt, where they follow more clues that leads them to a shrine, where they get more clues etc etc) isn't that different from a ton of other films and it's not hard to follow at all, it's silly, but not confusing in the least. And as for the question I keep hearing about why all the Decepticons don't look like humans. Well...they can't all look like motorbikes either..and they can't all look like dogs...and they can't all look like scorpions. Each robot looks different, they aren't made of liquid metal for crying out loud. Each one seems to be pretty much an individual, and come in all shapes and sizes.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:39 a.m. CST


    by DatoMan413

    Didn't Bay learn ANYTHING from the Star Wars prequels?

  • June 24, 2009, 11:40 a.m. CST


    by Ballbag


  • June 24, 2009, 11:41 a.m. CST

    What Did the Reviewers Here Think of the First One?

    by Aquatarkusman

    "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

  • June 24, 2009, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Haven't seen it yet

    by Geekhaterssuck

    but since all the subpar writers on this site hate it and can't seem to follow it, that means I'll have no problem following it and I'll love it.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST


    by Ballbag thoughts exactly. If you are a normal well adjusted human with a healthy social live. You'll probably enjoy it for what it is. Just like I and many many other did.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:48 a.m. CST


    by uberman

    No thanks, Transformers, but I already went through puberty.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Forgot to mention.....

    by Ballbag

    .....Michael bay is my uncle and he has assured me that he plans to have Unicron in the next movie. Only Uncle Mike has a special twist up his expensive sleeve, oh yes! Unicron will be female! HA! What do ya think of that losers? Hmmm? And the twins will be back again with that behaviour that all you gems of society seem so deeply offended by. Get a grip people.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:49 a.m. CST

    I'm not entertained if there is no story.

    by MJohnson

    That's not superiority. That's just me. And Bay's stories suck. So for me, his movies suck. The Our society is pretty much only entertained by flash - because following a well-told story just takes too much effort. Which is why Bay and his ilk aren't going away anytime soon. People just like to spend their hard-earned money to watch a bunch of effects for two hours. "Blow shit up and I'm there!" Whatfuckingever.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:52 a.m. CST

    I'm gettng tired of AICN reviews

    by thebest

    Seriously, its Transformers, its not supposed to be a movie about character development and fantastic lines. Have you seen the cartoon? It was a 22 minute commercial. I saw the Fallen last night and it was what I expected, lots of things blowing up, giant robots fighting, bad humor and Megan Fox looking hot. The story made sense its, is an Academy Award winning movie, but that is not what Transformers is about. I'm tired of the reviews on this site, if the movie kisses this sites butt, they get a good review, if they ignore, bad review. It is that simple, I honestly think I'm done with this site, there is enough geek movie websites to check that that I can ditch this one that takes itself way to seriously. PS Maybe this movie would have been better if it had vampires and werewolves in it too. Or would that have only worked on the Matrix Reloaded?

  • June 24, 2009, 11:59 a.m. CST


    by Ballbag


  • June 24, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST

    We taking about George Lucas and the Prequels here?

    by Jodo_Kast My mistake.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:04 p.m. CST

    yer mama... funniest post I've read in a while...

    by jimmy rabbitte

    It's a bit back up the board so let me refresh your memories:<p> "OMG! -- So, I saw the movie with my friend Britney cuz Ashley got a C+ in Algebra and her parents are like totally strict and wouldn't let her go and I thought Shia was sooooo cute in this one that I would totally let him kiss me and I don't know why people are hating on this movie cuz it has "racial sterrotypes" like I've never met a black person but I see them on TV and some of them talk really funny and I don't know what was going on all the time, but why can't I turn off my brain for 2 1/2 hours cuz I'm like always thinking and I have a 2.9 gpa and I just wanted to be enteretained and I totally was so all you haters should go make your own movie!"<p> Pure comedy gold. Well done.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Air & Space Museum

    by Dimpy

    It wasn't meant to be the museum in the Mall area of DC, it was meant to be the large hanger just out of town that holds some of the larger exhibits, like Space Shuttle etc. Oh, and I thought the film was brilliant - for what it was.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:15 p.m. CST


    by HoboCode

    The ywere not both voiced by the Spongebob white dude. One was voiced by an actual honest to god black person who apparently sold his soul.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Spandau Belly

    by just pillow talk

    Who are these "real life people" you speak of?

  • June 24, 2009, 12:26 p.m. CST

    ALL I CAN SAY IS....

    by bma2192

    ...I was in a packed theater at mid-night and everybody laughed, moaned and cheered out loud-- obviously they all came out to actually have some FUN, and thats what they did-- we all know whats in store for us in a Bay movie, and it was obvious that the crowd that came out last night was in the mood for it. If you guys want to take it apart and analyze it like a school teacher, I would have to force myself to agree with a lot of your points-- of course I would. Im not new to the world of film and I get all the reasons why you would want to sit back and criticize this to death-- but why BOTHER?? Sometimes you hit the theater to have a good time-- and Bay delivered it. BIG action-- big laughs-- sexy chicks-- hot sound track-- it was a lot of FUN. And that was the point-- we all "get it" -- everything was over the top..jumped around a bit... and you know what?? Dude- it was so fun-- typically people dont feel compelled to TALK during a movie, but this crowd was having a blast-- so take that as you may...

  • June 24, 2009, 12:33 p.m. CST

    First Transformers got a free pass...

    by Orionsangels

    Because we were all in awe of seeing the Transformers come to life and were all gaga for that then up and coming actress Megan Fox. Now we're over it and we want a movie with well.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:45 p.m. CST

    CG definitely ISN'T all that. Morphing is not Transforming.

    by G100

    Some seem to be very easily pleased by the CG on this. It needed huge amounts of explosions to obscure how weak some of it was. There was the occasional very good shot but in a Movie this long far, FAR too little.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Another reviewer...

    by Blue_Demon

    on another site (forgot which one) said that people would defend this by asking whatever happened to your inner child. He replied that his inner child was not an idiot.<p>This movie is for fools.

  • June 24, 2009, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Fact: morons like this movie.

    by andrew coleman

    Shut up. Shut the fuck up. The only defense I keep reading here is "it was FUN" and that movies don't need to make sense because their not trying to win Academy Awards. I don't fucking care a movie can be fun and smart and have a plot. Why to you morons does a movie have to be fucking horrible but fun for you to defend it. Also none of you have any stance with any movie again EVER! If any of you diss Terminator Salvation or GI Joe you are full of shit PERIOD. Because those movies are loud and stupid but fun too. Also I saw this piece of shit in a packed theater in LA and no one barely laughed only a couple kids and most of the group booed at the end -- so take that as you may...

  • June 24, 2009, 1:02 p.m. CST

    The only GOOD thing about a BAD movie is...

    by Xxplosive

    the harsh reviews that come out of it! God I love them! I have had more fun reading those that rip on Bay's shit storm then I would ever watching this 150 minute drunk driving tragedy. This dirty diaper of a movie should be blacklisted, Bay should be bitch slapped, and Spielberg should go back to college and get a fuckin' degree in TASTE 101! His shit is starting to stink up all of Hollywood these days. I can't wait for Comedy Central's "The Roast of Michael Bay." What a pleasure that would be to sit through. I mean, somewhere behind this prick's fake LA suntan- is a guy who really thinks he made a good movie. Now that's some funny shit.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:03 p.m. CST

    spectrebeeyatch what a load of crap

    by Ballbag

    Everyone in my sold out showing were roaring with laughter. Oh and to the guy that said that in his showing people were making complaints to the staf during the movie and having 'serious discussions' after the movie - I laughed at your comments. Do you really expect people to believe that rubbish? So we have lying nerd losers on here too. It just gets better doesnt it?

  • June 24, 2009, 1:25 p.m. CST

    "’s very clearly not the real museum"

    by Sin86a

    Those scenes actually were shot around here at the new Air & Space Museum in VA. It's smaller and looks nothing like the DC version but is in the DC area.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:31 p.m. CST

    In relation to Transformers

    by Sick Fixx

    The only farting I would want in relation to Transformers is Megan Fox farting on my dick.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Capone mistaken about the DC Museum too?

    by D.Vader

    Hrrmm. Capone you're slipping man. Bad, bad review.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Most of the audience loved it

    by lockesbrokenleg

    They enjoyed it for what it was. Why all these reviews we all know this site hated it. This site hates everything.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Smithsonian Air and Space

    by JackinNYC

    Capone, you might want to do a bit of research before proclaiming “But having just seen the Night at The Museum sequel (and having grown up in the D.C area) it’s very clearly not the real museum.” The museum on the screen in Transformers is supposed to be the Smithsonian Air and Space in VIRGINIA (There are two) not D.C. Have you been? You should…it’s great. Take a look… Just an fyi....

  • June 24, 2009, 1:50 p.m. CST

    if your familiar with the cartoon...plot makes sense

    by armtv

    Its all in there. Home planet dying. Need energy to sustain life. Look for energy as long as you don't kill life on other planets. That is what started the war. Search for machine that can harness energy from sun. Energon is what they are looking for. This was all in the cartoon, and it is all here. How could you ask for more? all the reviewers on AICN have there nose in the air...for what reason. I collected the toys and watched the cartoons..this movie is an extention of those memories...IT ISN'T SHAKESPEARE

  • June 24, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Star Trek was worse than this and T4 combined

    by TheLastBoyScout

    AICN has no credibility. The things they say about the shitfests known as ROTF and T4 are the same things they could say about Star Trek. Star Trek had awful acting, a confusing, boring story, nonsensical villains and action sequences. Star Trek was awful, awful, awful, and JJ Abrams is a horrible filmmaker. But this site sucks his cock so they give him a pass on all the garbage that was in Star Drek.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:52 p.m. CST

    It's all about perception people.

    by Geekhaterssuck

    You see I fully expect this movie to be loud, a bit stupid, corny, but yeah fun. Lest we forget it's a movie based on giant robots that was a 1980s toyline. You don't like that fine. Don't go see the movie. Most of you complicate movies and expect too much because they are the highlight of your life, and when it doesn't meet your life changing expectations and spew hater garbage that just makes you seem childish and bitter. Some just don't like the movie and hey that's cool. I haven't seen it yet, so only time will tell how I feel about it, but I expect a fairly simplistic plot, lots of explosions, some very corny humor, and a fun popcorn flick. Nothing complicated, nothing life changing, just a couple of hours in the old movie theatre having some fun.

  • June 24, 2009, 1:58 p.m. CST

    what about... both?

    by tibbar

    used to be a time in my childhood when a movie could be BOTH entertaining and large, AND have good actors, a decent fast-paced plot, and some sort of resonation that made it insta-classic. where have THOSE movies gone? last one i saw that came close was wall-e

  • June 24, 2009, 2:01 p.m. CST

    just pillow talk, these "real" people

    by Spandau Belly

    are the ones who's faces I see and voices I hear. People such as my friends and coworkers and family and people on my sports teams. They all see stuff like Wolverine and Terminator 4 and think it's "okay", which if you only chatted with people online on sites like this you would never believe those movies could turn profit.

  • June 24, 2009, 2:04 p.m. CST does just hearing voices count?

    by just pillow talk

    I hear plenty of those...

  • June 24, 2009, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Box office results in

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Midnight showings pulled in 16 million second only to "The Dark Knight," which opened on a Friday. I think that sound you hear is Michael Bay telling all the haters to kiss his ass.

  • June 24, 2009, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay thinks everyone's a moron


    Remember that bit in Bad Boys 2 where Michael Shannon's character shows up again and we get a fucking flashback to remind us who this guy is even though we saw him only 30 minutes earlier. Bay thinks only retards watch his movie... maybe he's right?

  • June 24, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Too big a budget, too much free reign.

    by malificus

    Megan Fox went from respectful on the last one to outright disdaining it in the press on this one, Shia appears to be gamely making the talk show rounds but they recognize what a disaster these movies have become. By the time Transformers 3 comes out he's going to be doing the equivalent of Batman & Robin with robot toys. I never made it through the first one, even though I tried twice. I won't even bother borrowing this one-what a collosal waste. If only they'd put this kind of money and production behind a good Hawkmoon or Corum movie.

  • June 24, 2009, 2:41 p.m. CST

    "It is a tale told by an idiot..."

    by aureliusthewise

    "...full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."<br> MacBeth<br><br> Even Shakespeare agrees - Fuck Michael Bay!

  • June 24, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    THis movie will do doubt make a pile of money

    by gavdiggity

    but it won't be getting any of mine. <P> And isn't it about time our 12-second attention-span brains came up with a new term to replace "haters"? That's as played out as tacking on a "NOT!" at the end of a comment that's supposed to be ironic. <P> I respectfully suggest that we start using "dislikers".

  • June 24, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Capone you're a real fucking dick!

    by Robot_Chicken_Fried_Steak

    You never have a spoiler warning and then reveal key moments of a fucking movie! You don't even have a lead up to it either... it's just blah blah blah WHAM SPOILER!! You are a fucking prick that must get off on ruining shit in movies... ASSHOLE!

  • June 24, 2009, 2:53 p.m. CST

    No doubt, not DO doubt.

    by gavdiggity


  • June 24, 2009, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Star trek is best summer movie...

    by Deak the Geek

    for me it is.

  • June 24, 2009, 2:58 p.m. CST


    by Ballbag

    ....if there was a post count for each poster on this backward site you would find that I spend very little time posting on here and just nip back now and again just to see how angry the haters have gotten while I was gone. But you cant see that becuase the site is shit and normal peoples posts get lost in the torrents of drivel posted constantly here. Why do I come here then? Because as Ive stated before I like angry bitter talkbacker no life nerds. They entertain me.

  • June 24, 2009, 3:02 p.m. CST

    "how angry the haters have gotten"

    by gavdiggity

    Uhhhh, I believe you mean "how angry the DISLIKERS have gotten."

  • June 24, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Yes haters....

    by Ballbag

    ....not dislikers.....HATERS! HATE! SPITE! ANGER! RAGE! Y'know? Everything that forms the basis for AICN.

  • June 24, 2009, 3:11 p.m. CST

    On a lighter note...

    by Kakii

    I thought the plot was easy to follow and in fact I think a similar one was in an episode of the cartoon. Plus come on, the first ones plot was actually dumb. Robots come to earth to buy glasses off Ebay in order to locate the galaxies biggest Rubis's cube! - I loved both movies and it made up for the dirty uncle raping Wolverine on the big screen.

  • June 24, 2009, 3:11 p.m. CST

    sorry but Give me more....

    by j2talk

    sure Star Trek was the best film of the summer, but that said, I'll be seeing Transformers again.....

  • June 24, 2009, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Geez, Ballbag...

    by gavdiggity

    why all the dislike?

  • June 24, 2009, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Ill be buying it on blu-ray!

    by Ballbag

    I just wouldnt feel right getting angry pent up and bitter over a film about cgi robots, and Im a massive g1 fan. But it kinda makes sense to me when I look at Harry for example and see the obstacles hes overcome in his life and I ask myself "would I be truly happy if I were like him?" - and Im sure that goes for a lot of the haters on here. Angry sad outcasts of people, low incomes, not the best hygene, with a dvd collection that would fill an average persons house!

  • June 24, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Well now, gavdiggity...

    by Ballbag

    ...maybe I just have a low tolerance threshhold when it comes to miserable people with crude online names who become mortified when a movie has twin robots who talk like stereotypical brothers. Oh the shame and horror of it all eh?

  • June 24, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    As long as you're not dislikin' on me, it's all good.

    by gavdiggity

    NOT! <P> (see what I did there? genius!)

  • June 24, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Ballbag, doesn't your rage against the dislikers

    by gavdiggity

    make you a disliker yourself? <P> Ponder that for a while, I'm gonna go get a soda.

  • June 24, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Also- Rage Against The Dislikers

    by gavdiggity

    is a terrible band.

  • June 24, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Why wouldn't you Want Megan Fox in a short skirt

    by TheMattMan

    All the time

  • June 24, 2009, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Can? - can it be?

    by Ballbag


  • June 24, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST

    It's a KIDDIE MOVIE!

    by Rupee88

    this is like reviewing a Saturday morning cartoon. Only children and those with childish minds (or low IQs) will like this.

  • June 24, 2009, 3:52 p.m. CST

    If you don't like the movie, that is okay;

    by UndeadRabbitZombieJim

    but to say the story is incomprehensible is ludicrous. It is literally one of the most simple, straightforward plots in any movie this year. There is nothing even the slightest bit confusing about it. Not one thing. Loved the movie more than the first one.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Legitimate criticism isn't "hating"

    by Laserhead

    And check the interweb-- NOBODY is giving this a decent review.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Yeah i dont know how....

    by Ballbag

    ....people can say the movie is for retards and idiots but at the same time call the plot confusing or incomprehensable?! I mean REALLY, im struggling to understand what was so hard to follow. Just a good old fashioned cartoon style story of good vs evil.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Heres a decent review...

    by Ballbag

    ...which took me all of 1min googling: "Over in Hollywood, Spielberg is no doubt still convinced that the series can run and run. After this, you won’t be sure where a sequel will come from... But you'll want one. Verdict: Old folks may find the relentless sensory assault a little draining, but the bangs, ’bots and bombast ensure Fallen has everything Transformers fans will want and expect."

  • June 24, 2009, 4:10 p.m. CST

    and they gave it 4/5 stars...

    by Ballbag

    ....with the average user rating being 4/5 starts too.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:17 p.m. CST

    so, clearly, not everyons is a disliker,

    by gavdiggity

    There you go, Ballbag. Rest easy.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:18 p.m. CST


    by Geekhaterssuck

    85% of what has been written on this site is hating with barely a thread of legitimate criticism to be found. EW, IGN, both have given it decent reviews. I have no problem with legitimate critcism but to act like the movie is an insult to the precious views of some of these people on this site is truly laughable.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:18 p.m. CST

    wow, look at the trolls and plants

    by Animation

    Then again, I liked Speed Racer, so maybe some people actually did like this big monster dump.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST

    Anyhoo Im done.....

    by Ballbag

    ....I think everything that needs to be said has been said. Everyone who I have spoken too says they really enjoyed it. Ive seen plently of decent reviews that only really critisise it for its length, with only AICN being a big greasy sweaty nerd pool opf hate. I think that my little nerdlings....says it all! I bid you farewell! Goodnight!

  • June 24, 2009, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Omg its actually worse than T4

    by jaysin420

    But I bet those ice cream trucks go over big down south.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:25 p.m. CST

    tuturro's bum

    by lonestaricon

    didn't need to see that at all.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:35 p.m. CST

    I Care. I REALLY Do.

    by lonestaricon

    shed tears 2 or 3 times at this movie and was able to follow the plot without any problem. i cared about the human characters and the robot characters and i thought this movie was very enjoyable.

  • June 24, 2009, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Fantastic film!

    by Bono Luthor

    Saw it in the uk on sat with an audience filled with kids. They loved it, so did I! I loved old school transformers, used to watj the toon on Roland Rat here in the uk. I also adore the first film and maybe this one even more after repeat viewings. I am not a red neck or a moron. I like pretty much all types of film but maintain a passion for the kind of blockbusters that turned me on to film as a kid. The two transformers films have given me a sheer kinetic buzz. This sight has sunk to a new low. It is not for old men to sit in judgement of the films made for a younger generation. This film is brilliant distracting entertainment in a shitty world in which we need to be entertained and distracted (sorry greil marcus - even mire sorry for probably spelling your name wrong!). Bring on the third one. Oh and harry came across as way too bitter in his review. I'm off to watch the first on DVD again so fuck you haters!

  • June 24, 2009, 4:45 p.m. CST

    "It is not for old men to sit in judgement...

    by gavdiggity

    of the films made for a younger generation." <P> New to this site, I take it?

  • June 24, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Blaming Bay?

    by JackPumpkinhead

    Why not look at the output of the piece of shit that's responsible for: and consider that maybe this film is its fault, too?

  • June 24, 2009, 4:50 p.m. CST

    And to even further explain Mr. Gorilla...

    by bishopfan85

    I agree 100% that the actual movie making process from any directors stand point is an extremely difficult process. Being involved myself in the film industry and as I'm sure many AICN'er's also are aware, the process is such an amazing juggling act that includes the task of piecing together scenes that are shot completely out of sync from what the finished product turns into,the editing, the special effects, the appeasing of the producers, lawyers and promotional powers and of course the budget and time constraints to top it all off. The writing aspect is the only process of this entire matter that requires nothing more than imagination and presentation and that's where the simplicity comes in. Before you start any director on the journey of creating a film (that can take anywhere from a few months to several years) there should be a well developed and downright bulletproof screenplay fully fleshed out and essentially the absolute best choice of several dozens if not hundreds of submissions. From there, it of course falls into the hands of the director to take this GOLDEN material and put his or her own creative spin on how to bring it to the screen. At that point, we can nit pick over whether or not director A or B would have been a better choice and even dissect the finished product scene by scene but the last argument that should ever be made is whether or not there was a good story behind what we're seeing. That is the one thing that should be nearly impossible to happen especially on ANY big budget film project of any genre.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:03 p.m. CST

    I happen to have enjoyed this film very much

    by mukhtabi

    Was it the very best screenplay possible? Hell no. I am no fan of Ehren Kruger, and I firmly believe Orci and Kurtzman are reserving their very best efforts for Star Trek. Having said all that, the film is a visual masterpiece with a fascinating story that can be gleamed from the noise. The notion that eight Primes were the collectors of the energy necessary to power the planet cybertron was cool in of itself. That the Fallen's decision to attempt to blow up the Sun was the catalyst for the 'Transformer Civil War' is very interesting. The whole film boils down to a parable of looking for energy. In a way its kind of like what's happening with the Energy legislation on capitol hill. The Decepticons are prepared to exploit any energy source, even our sun and planet. The Autobots don't wish to kill off intelligent life. Everything else in the film ties into that basic set of story motivations. Mudflap and Skids are being read too deeply in my opinion. In a lot of ways this film was done to be a fun time for all, and in that regard it shall succeed big time. Does it do the Benthamian utilitarian thing and 'appeal to the lowest common denominator'? you bet your sweet bippy it does. But did I find it an incredible time at the theater? You betcha, and I'm taking my gf this weekend to see it too. So in the end, its great visuals, not so great story and its all Ehren Kruger's fault. That's my read at least.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:22 p.m. CST


    by Bono Luthor

    Nope. Just been a while since it got my goat. I think the fact that I watched the film with a young audience and enjoyed it as much as I did, along with the fact that my wife and I are expecting our first child next week, made me feel it was about time Gen X stop putting down anything that does not measure up to Empire, Kahn, Raiders, Goonies etc. Especially given some of the shit AICN goes nuts for!

  • June 24, 2009, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Air & Space Musuem

    by VTkillabee78

    Just want to speak on the Air and Space musuem because I haven't seen the film but this is the 2nd time I've read this come up. It was filmed at the Air & Space Musuem (UDAR HAZY) in Chantilly VA a few minutes from Dulles Airport. I live in the area and a co worker of mine actually was there when they were doing filming. He told me Shia and Megan Fox were both there and there were crew member holding giant sticks with green boards (or something of that sort) for the transformers reference. He also said that the studio paid for everyone's parking that day since part of the musuem was closed off. And yes it does have a lot of space and land in that area.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:34 p.m. CST

    Gen X? Who still calls us that?

    by gavdiggity

    Bill O'Reilly, that's who. <P> Congrats on the upcoming kid, Bono. May your first child be a masculine child. Unless it's a girl.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:34 p.m. CST

    I've got to ask....

    by pdennett316

    To those who liked this film, did the robot angel sequence make any sense? <p> Were Mudflap and Skidmark decent role models for your kids? Better yet, was the writing good or was it merely lazy stereotype jokes in place of actual character? <p> Were all 42 featured robots really given diverse and unique characteristics to single themselves out? <p> Do the farting/leg humping/parachute shit scenes actually add anything or even make the slightest bit of sense? (What the fuck does a robot gain from humping a humans leg??) <p> I remember when popcorn movies had decent writing, actors, and stories and didn't have to be qualified with "Well what did you expect, Shakespeare??", the were judged as merely great films for the masses. Unfortunately the masses nowadays seem intent with staring vacantly at the screen while shiny things move around and big noises blow your face off. <p> Where's the likes of Jaws, T2, Robocop, Predator, Die Hard etc? Popcorn movies that don't insult their audience, that could deliver a great premise with snappy dialogue and characters that meant something? Instead now it's a series of cliche' sound-bites fired off between explosions with little to no thought as to what the fuck any of it is trying to achieve. <p> The apologists need to realise that just because something is popular and makes money, it doesn't mean it's good. Shakespeare?? Fuck that, I hated Shakespeare at school and still do, I just want a character I can relate to in some way, not a thinly drawn parody of a character. Popularity is no means of identifying a quality film, no matter how many times apologists trot out BO numbers. No one doubts this will make big money, but it certainly doesn't deserve it.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:40 p.m. CST


    by Flames gotta Eat

    this is exactly how I feel about the film. Your review is the most spot on I've read and I share every feeling you have about the first one and this sequel. This one is truly awful and I'm telling everyone I know NOT to see this but instead go see Trek, Up!, Hangover or Away We Go. Even if you've already seen them, at least Trek and Up! deserve two theatre viewings.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Bono Luthor...

    by pdennett316

    Those movies you listed were not good movies 'for a popcorn flick', or any qualifier you wish to add, they were simply well made, well written, great fucking films. <p> Why should people accept that guys like Bay don't seem to want to try to raise to that level, merely content with making the FX better? Why not dispense with plot and character building altogether and just have a 2 1/2 hour reel of FX shots? That, I feel would suit Mr Bay down to the ground the way he's heading - too far up his own ass.

  • June 24, 2009, 5:45 p.m. CST

    This movie had an Oompa Loompa in it

    by Crooooooow

    It can't be all bad!

  • June 24, 2009, 6 p.m. CST

    pdennett316-who cares about Mudflap and Skidmark

    by j2talk

    its a movie.....get over it....

  • June 24, 2009, 6:05 p.m. CST

    who goes to a movie looking for a role model?

    by j2talk

    let alone looking for one in Bay film? You know what you are going to get out of it-why are people surprised? I'd be shocked IF the movie had good dialog or characterisation, thats not what i am looking for in one of his films...Bay blows shit up, its an SFX movi, hell it doesnt even NEED to be a Talkie

  • June 24, 2009, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Get Over It

    by gavdiggity

    can we put that phrase in the vault alongside "hater" and "NOT!"?

  • June 24, 2009, 6:11 p.m. CST


    by ZombieHeathLedger

  • June 24, 2009, 6:19 p.m. CST


    by sheepshagger

    2029. Cant wait!

  • June 24, 2009, 6:19 p.m. CST

    Still think it is a great film...

    by Bono Luthor

    and nothing on here will change my mind. Goodnight you lovely geeks, my wife ismorr important. Roll out!

  • June 24, 2009, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Fact AICN does not control Holywood

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Thank God too. It would be all Vampire movies.

  • June 24, 2009, 6:29 p.m. CST

    hey you know what i think

    by aestheticity

    nothing because I have no interest in seeing it. marketing failed on me. its a silly sequel to a silly movie. im not old, i never gave a shit about transformers, i think megan fox is hot in a cheap way... not interested. silly movie. didnt see star trek or anything else this year either. all silly. theyre kids movies with the equivalent veneer of those harry potter books with 'adult' covers - a simple way to let adults not feel like children for partaking of childish entertainment. it really doesnt warrant all this argument. at all.

  • June 24, 2009, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Quote from John Turturro’s character:


    “Let’s not get episodic, OK? Beginning. Middle. End. Facts. Details. Condense. Plot. Tell it.” <P> Quote from Shia's character: "Looks fake". <P> Pretty much sums it up right?

  • June 24, 2009, 6:56 p.m. CST

    The FX were good, including Megan Fox

    by SoylentMean

    She's like the best special effect of this decade.

  • June 24, 2009, 7 p.m. CST

    The dumbasses I was sitting next to were more entertaining

    by SoylentMean

    Apparently drunk off their asses (these assholes reeked of alcohol) they kept randomly blurting out "Megatron" for no apparent reason (other than they really wanted to see Megatron). Then, one of these geniuses actually passed the fuck out. He kept waking up randomly throughout the movie and, every time he did, he would say "Megatron".<P> Now, it was hard enough following the "plot" of this movie sober, but these numskulls were utterly flabbergasted at what was happening on screen. And then the one dude who wasn't passed out started freaking out about the dude who was passed out. Hilarious.

  • June 24, 2009, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Overall, the FX are what worked, other than that, ??????????????

    by SoylentMean

    This will be cool to see on DVD or Blu-Ray so it can be slowed down and appreciated. Also, the Decepticon chick was fuckin' smoking hot. Although I'm still not sure why Bumblebee didn't know she was, you know, a robot in disguise.

  • June 24, 2009, 7:19 p.m. CST

    That Was The DULLES Air & Space Museum..

    by Frodo T. Baggins

    It was in the Washington Post that they were filming there. The space shuttle Enterprise is there. Also the Enola Gay. & most importantly of all, the Death Star model. Which I still lovingly call....The Deathtical.

  • June 24, 2009, 7:19 p.m. CST

    Actually, the FX was probably really good...


    It was just a shame that Michael Bay spoiled it by showing everything in extreme closeup with shakey-cam and cuts every point five of a second. <P> Oh and as for that Decepticon fembot, surely a robot that sophisticated would render all the others obsolete? I mean, she's to the regular transformers what the T-1000 is to the basic terminator endoskeleton right?. <P> The fact that a robot like her exsists should be a big deal in this movie but for Michael Bay it's just an excuse to have another hot girl in the film and to shoehorn in a Terminator style chase sequence even though it makes no sense.

  • June 24, 2009, 7:24 p.m. CST

    The FX SUCKED!!!

    by jabbathegriffin

    They were messy and obvious. A 'cool' effect does not mean a 'convincing' effect or even an ambitious one. The front page of the LA times has a still image of the scene with Jetfire on the mountain top and it looks like the actors are standing next to a painting of him. The Blu-Ray will look awful as the crisp image will only highlight the flaws.

  • June 24, 2009, 7:50 p.m. CST

    PC Nerds

    by Skako

    I´ve been following the site for 5 years now and I can say one thing: I´m still shocked with the racial tension between you americans. Offensive bots??? It´s just a movie, nerds. Don´t tell me that the hip hop crew dislike gold (maybe diamond) teeth or they read a lot... You crop what you plant..

  • June 24, 2009, 7:51 p.m. CST

    Thats what i hated about the first one.

    by kingoflight

    The robots where rolling about and they where fighting or transforming and i felt i was not seeing all the action only a part of an arm or something like that. It seamed like they were covering up the action. Even so they seamed over complicated.

  • June 24, 2009, 8:25 p.m. CST

    WOW-hey spectrebeeyatch--

    by bma2192

    Didnt realize that the fact that I had fun watching a movie that you obviously hated would piss you off so much-- I wasnt defending bad film making by saying its ok as long as its fun...I WAS trying to get across that I DID have fun watching THIS particular movie despite the fact that alot of people have so many complaints. So you know what? Youre absolutely right F- me for being so frikkin' WRONG to enjoy myself. I'll be sure to check in with you first to see if its ok to have an OPINION of my own, BTW, I was able to NOT attack everyone who disagreed with MY point of view on this. --and I loved the way you ended your rant (attack) by quoting me at the end. Beautiful-- let me know when you make a transformers movie that up to your standards so I can finally be put in my place-- ! I really do like these forums and reading everybody's different views-- it actually DOES open my mind to different perspectives-- but when a person just gets on here to piss on another person to get their funny point across... well, whatever. This forum is here so that we can all toss in our two cents-- I did it without trying to be a total dick about it, so thats what I get.

  • June 24, 2009, 8:49 p.m. CST


    by MainMan2001

    So, it doesn't help that the main supporter's of this film are completely illiterate. Is anyone writing some of these reviews?! I love Micheal Bay! No joke. I am a true Micheal Bay fan. I loved Transformer 1 but 2 is literally a mess. It's like seeing The Lost World after seeing Jurassic Park. The complete and utter disappointment. Everything from the original is there. All the right elements in order but it's all been done before. This movie is like out takes from the first movie with I guess larger scale actions sequences. Non of which come anywhere close to the first movie. I'm starting to think that Bay and company might be racists because I have no idea who thought the twins were a good idea. I've never seen a movie with more annoying characters in that many scenes before. Why that much "humor"? I didn't believe the reviews when I first saw them but it's one of the most excess pieces of golden shit I have ever seen come out of Hollywood. It's like watching money explode.

  • June 24, 2009, 8:56 p.m. CST


    by HollywoodPlant

    I saw what you were doing. Hey you tried, and I respect that. I for one actually hate it when people piss on others because they hate the movie you liked. I also hate the "summer mindless fun" people throw out there to deffend the genre pics. I really dug the 1st one. I felt it had story, watchible kick ass action, overall kick ass movie. But it also has everything I like. And thats the thing, we all judge movies based on our own tasts and personality. LOVED "Drag Me To Hell".. I feel Star Trek has been the best movie out thus far. Wolverine was kind of a let down though.. and I really wanted to love Watchmen, but it failed for me. Thats really the only movie that I've heard more than a few people walk out of half way through. But just because you don't like what I like, I will not critisize you for it. I'll never say "Oh, you are an idiot." I feel even if all the people here on this site didn't go see it, and told all of there friends NOT to go see it, it would still be seen by the masses. AICN hasn't that kind of power. Now, wether it'll be a good movie, only time will tell. Michael Bay is here to stay. You don't have to like it, you just have to deal with it people... err or not. You could keep writing about how much you hate the man.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:08 p.m. CST

    I notice Capone still hasn't fixed his mistakes

    by D.Vader

    Ah well. So very lame.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:09 p.m. CST


    by JeremyS

    I mean wow It doesn't take a genius to follow the plot of the movie and that plot description in the review was beyond sad and not even close The movie was good, if you liked the first one, you'll probably like this one too.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Why would the Decepticons need human robots?

    by D.Vader

    All they wanted was to find the machine, and with Soundwave hooked into the US Satellites, there really was no reason to infiltrate as humans. Besides, its been stated before, the Pretenders are canon. It does stick out, I'll admit that, but its not a terrible slight on the film.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:20 p.m. CST

    This is what I meant on Massawyrm's review too.

    by The Dark Shite

    How can anyone take these reviews at face value, if really basic things are wrong? They're just lucky in the sense that people generally agree the movie's shit. <p> What if it was another movie though? One that maybe not so many people had seen? Don't you have a duty to make sure your facts are correct? There are so many mistakes in this review it's ridiculous!<p> It started off, with the AICN Downunder guy, calling the movie "Rise of the Fallen" & it's continued, to this, then Harry's review where he wanted to back up his Star Trek buddies Orci & Kurtzman, so invented a rumour that it was another guy's fault. Then Orci basically said it was bullshit & he was to blame. <p> How are we supposed to believe a fucking word said here?

  • June 24, 2009, 9:30 p.m. CST

    "Don't you have a duty to make sure your facts are correct?"

    by D.Vader

    You'd think so, Dark Shite, but really I am extremely surprised at all of Capone's ridiculous mistakes. Honestly, its like he wasn't even paying attention- which is a crime, as a critic.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:30 p.m. CST

    & I've gotta say..

    by The Dark Shite

    The Orci & Kurtzman defence was just one in a long, long line of blatant lies, which have then been found out.<p> I first noticed it, when Harry write about the potential Oldboy remake & used it to do his customary bragging, about how he was the first Westerner to review it. <p> The trouble is, I was the first westerner to review it. So I called him out on it & was ignored. I let it go. But since then, there are so many of these things...<p> The Bale incident is just one example, with Harry's infamous "I'm in a place where another person is that isn't where I am but was" bullshit. The one where I found an interview on U.K yahoo, which had exactly the same quotes as this "Insider" he'd supposedly talked to. It turned out to be "Shut the fuck up Bruce", publicly backing Bale. On Yahoo UK. Not to Harry. To the world.<p> Then there's the Wolverine debacle..<p> Now he's saying "well the rumour is, it was Ehren Kruger" (speeling?). So Bob Orci comes on here, says "Thanks for trying to defend me, but basically, you're full of shit." Not in those exact words, but you get my drift.<p> THis place is full of fucking fantasists. Love the TBs, but apart frokm that, I've pretty much had enough.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Maybe the racism-bots saw other Bay films?

    by MediaGold

    With the obvious exception of Bad Boys, they're always token "humorous" characters. Michael Clark Duncan in Armaggedeon and that little rapper guy, Bernie Mac in Transformers, fat sassy secretary in The Island, Cuba Gooding in Pearl Harbor, etc. There was that one dude in the Island who was a bad guy but with 15 minutes left in the film he suddenly becomes incredibly noble, but methinks that was Bay just trying to win over the brothers.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:32 p.m. CST

    & my spelling's shit..

    by The Dark Shite

    Still on meds. But hopefully my point makes sense.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:33 p.m. CST

    MainMan 2001

    by gavdiggity

    The irony of your first sentence, in the context of the rest of your post, will continue to make me happy for days...

  • June 24, 2009, 9:40 p.m. CST

    You can't trust anything Harry says anymore

    by D.Vader

    Honestly, anyone that believes everything he says is the epitome of naivete.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:45 p.m. CST

    " Wouldn’t that make their job of infiltrating and destroying hu

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    The Decepticons don't really care about infiltrating and destroying humans so much as acquiring power. Couldn't you tell that Megatron was using The Fallen to teach him and give him power without buying into his automatic hatred of humanity? Megatron has contempt for humanity - not hate.

  • June 24, 2009, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Oh, and Capone? The "baffling" plot ...

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    A lot of times people spend so much time trying to work around the intricacies of the plot that they don't -get- the plot. The plot of FALLEN is very VERY easy to figure out. Here goes - <p> The Decepticons are on the run after the events of the first movie, out of power and near death, with their hopes of spawning future generations resting on the acquisition of a new energy source.<p> Megatron's master, The Fallen - one of seven Primes who in the past sought out suns orbiting worlds without life to drain out the power for the Transformer empire - hates humans and has been working out a revenge scheme to take down the Primes and destroy humanity once and for all. That's why Megatron in Part 1 was looking for the Cube (among other reasons) - to get a hold of a map that would tell The Fallen where his six brethren hid the Matrix of Leadership - a key required to activate the giant sun-destroying cannon that The Fallen's coup attempt to take control of in the past.<p>With the Cube destroyed after Part 1, Sam gets a hold of a piece of it from his old outfit he was wearing when the Cube splintered, and it tells him the map location for the Matrix.<p>The Deceptions find out about this and set about trying to find Sam. Fighting ensues. Things come to a head at the location of the cannon, where Optimus defeats both Megatron and The Fallen. The End, Wow - that was tough!

  • June 24, 2009, 9:53 p.m. CST

    No Offense, Capone

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    I think you're overanalyzing, and I really enjoyred the flick - as a huge fan of TRANSFORMERS, I couldn't help but-!

  • June 24, 2009, 10:01 p.m. CST


    by My friends call me Killjoy

    I'm not going to bother to address all your points, but the films you mention as being "popcorn" films (which is an absurd term to begin with) are NOT traditional popcorn films. With the exception of Jaws, the rest are all "R" rated action pictures. You need better examples for the point you're trying to make. R-rated films, especially during the time period you're referencing, were aimed towards a smaller demographic that is older, and typically, more able to understand the social commentary within the context of films like Robocop and T2, or handle the darker images of a Jaws, Predator, etc. Yes, they're fun films with viceral thrills, but not "popcorn" movies as you're using the term. <p> Personally, I think that both Transformers movies have good points and bad, ultimately putting them into a category of films that I enjoy, but do not highly regard. Yeah, I rolled my eyes more than once last night, but the fun far exceeded the "Bay"-fuddlement. Having seen the first Transformers, I knew what to expect from a sequel. Anyone who thinks that any sequel is going to be night-and-day better than the original is kidding themselves, especially when the same man is at the helm.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:12 p.m. CST

    D. Vader

    by My friends call me Killjoy

    Yeah, man. These guys are not critics, just glorified bloggers. Harry, Beaks, and Quint report the news...ocassionally, but Capone and Massa are providing opinion only, not solid criticism.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Here's the real questions about the movie...

    by D.Vader

    Was The Fallen hiding out on the remains of Cybertron? Or was it one of the moons near Saturn, like I thought when I first watched the film? <p> Because I was under the impression that Cybertron was pretty much destroyed because of civil war.

  • June 24, 2009, 10:37 p.m. CST

    I hated it!!

    by deanbarry

    So much so, i couldn't even bring myself to read this review of it due to the unpleasent memories of it resurfacing. Waste of time, money and valuble cinema. The first was OK. It had the "WOW" factor. That's gone now and it just plain old sucks. Terminator Salvation was better than this rubbish.

  • June 24, 2009, 11:16 p.m. CST

    The endless hate on AICN continues.

    by alifeincomplete

    It's hard to take this site or ninety percent of the people on it because of all the mindless hate. All you read on this page is the same junk. "Oh, I couldn't follow the movie's plot. A quest story is too complicated for my greasy mind." "I couldn't take this movie. There's too much action for a film about giant robots with guns." "I hated this film. It just sucked. Sucked, sucked, sucked. Stupid shitty movie full of fail. Also, I got my 350lbs popcorn butter covered ass stuck in the theater chair. I blame the shitty movie." It's no wonder that this site has become the armpit of movie reviews. How could anyone take it seriously when it's nothing more than petty bickering in an environment that only condones groupthink about how bad a movie is?

  • June 24, 2009, 11:17 p.m. CST


    by hopeless

    on this movie!!!!!

  • June 24, 2009, 11:35 p.m. CST

    Alfie -

    by ThusSpakeSpymunk

    You said it well. And better than I did. I had a blast at the movie, knew what to expect, got it and was thrilled to see Soundwave and Ravage.

  • June 25, 2009, 1:08 a.m. CST

    a director on a movie like this is secondary

    by aboriginal

    It's got so much to do with the SFX artists and production designers that the "director" is at best a guy throwing this wants and needs at them because the real talent is even further behind the scenes. Its the guys that make it work and unfortunately, the producers just don't give two shits about anything more than the weekend take and toy sales. Fuck it.

  • June 25, 2009, 1:11 a.m. CST

    thusspake....give me a review dude. How does

    by southafricanguy

    it compare to the first? Action, story wise? Does Prime have any cool moments? Do we get to see more of cybertron?etc.....much appreciated....

  • June 25, 2009, 1:52 a.m. CST

    Revenge of the fallen Review

    by rljensen3

    I overall liked the movie with a couple of exceptional points. SFX sounds were louder than dialogue. Couldn't hear actors. Was disappointed that they referred to a (Spoiler) 1st Prime. Didn't follow methos. Other than that I really loved it and the throw back to (Spoiler 2) energon cubes. Action is awesome. Scale of 1-10 (8) Go see it. So much goes on though you'll have to see it several times.

  • June 25, 2009, 1:55 a.m. CST

    fuckkin pussy

    by olraz75

    capone you are obviously a fat nerd or geek damn loser that thinks he's smarter or better than directors. your review is inline with all the fat loser nerds on this site. transformers2 was a balls to the walls action flick and reading your review garuantees that should I see you in person I will beat your nerd ass like I did to all the lser nerds in high school whenever someone talked like they were so much better than anyone else I would whup their ass and let them get laughed at while they layed on the floor crying...not so smart now are you! let's hope we don't run into eachother because I promise I will beat your nerd ass! it's the great equalizer! and Transformers2 is good clean fun summer movie. mudflap and skidz did their job you just wouldn't know anyone that talks like that cuz your a fag nerd!

  • June 25, 2009, 2:07 a.m. CST

    The saddest thing is....

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ....that it'll still make gazillions of $ $ $

  • June 25, 2009, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Seven Samurai = too many characters who looked alike

    by JackRabbitSlim

    Deep down inside, you know its true.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:19 a.m. CST

    Read a review a while ago...

    by Pig_Ignorant

    Of some mindless action fest the name of which I cannot recall, in which the reviewer said that it marked a sad decline in the quality of mainstream cinema, and that if the trend continued we'd eventually end up with a movie titled "Boom!" or something, which would be nothing but one explosion after another, with no acting or plot whatsoever. From these reviews, it sounds like we're getting pretty darn close to that. Although I would pay to watch Michael Bay's head get blown off in continuous loop for a couple of hours.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:24 a.m. CST

    Transformers globally outgrossed US domestic gross

    by JackRabbitSlim

    So all this (unimaginative) ranting about this being another death knell for literacy and rational thought in the United States really smacks of ... rank ignorance. Film studios, like any other successful company, give people what they want.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Theres already been a movie called Boom!

    by JackRabbitSlim

    It starred Marlon Brando - was about Zapata as I remember

  • June 25, 2009, 2:31 a.m. CST

    Making the rounds

    by Phategod1

    pretty good review is this where the apologist are hanging out.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:35 a.m. CST

    Film companies don't give people what they want...

    by Pig_Ignorant

    they give people what their lizard brains want, and then rub their hands together with glee as the people's higher brain functions atrophy away and, drool dripping down their chins, they continue handing over their money to the Hollywood cash machine. It's no different from junk food companies advertising their shit during after-school hours and creating a generation of fat kids hooked on sugar. I realise my arguments are obvious and were new back in the 1970s, but hell I felt like saying it anyway. "Giving people what they want" is no excuse for feeding them crud any more than "they'll die anyway" is for selling cigarettes to someone with cancer.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:38 a.m. CST

    This is where the realists are hanging out

    by JackRabbitSlim

    Reminding everyone just how out of touch with mainstream AICN is on this. Reminding everyone of Harry's Armageddon review. Reminding everyone that there has been no change in Mr Bay's cinematic style. Reminding everyone that if Harry hated this film as much as he professes to, he'd not have five articles on the front page reminding everyone Transformers 2 is open. But hey, Harry, like the boys running the studio, knows what side his bread is buttered on.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Wondering how many of Mr Bay's films you've seen

    by JackRabbitSlim

    And if the answer is more than ONE, explain to me the rationale ...

  • June 25, 2009, 3:05 a.m. CST

    To Capone

    by thevagraunt

    "Now explain it to me, please." I followed everything the film had to say. If you had read the prequel comics you would have a better understanding of what is going on in the film.

  • June 25, 2009, 3:07 a.m. CST

    holier than thow nancies

    by olraz75

  • June 25, 2009, 3:39 a.m. CST

    critic proof

    by bacci40

    seriously...just like dark knight<P> which i just watched again on cable...and it doesnt hold up<P> giant plot holes....batman has a fucking lisp...A LISP???!!!!!<P> and 3 fucking hours being told that batman is basically jesus in a bat suit

  • June 25, 2009, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Needs more GIANT PIG

    by GIANT_PIG

    GIANT PIG!!!

  • June 25, 2009, 4:29 a.m. CST


    by redfist

    We are busy hating on Bay here....<P> Fuck off.

  • June 25, 2009, 4:35 a.m. CST

    "Michael Bay’s ability to direct large-scale, complicated action

    by CuervoJones


  • June 25, 2009, 4:40 a.m. CST

    I don´t want Vern to watch this crap

    by CuervoJones

    But, you know, he is the best Bay hater.

  • June 25, 2009, 5:29 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

  • June 25, 2009, 5:50 a.m. CST

    No Way!

    by blackshuck

    This movie sucks? Gosh, who woulda thunk it?!?!

  • June 25, 2009, 5:57 a.m. CST

    "it is a tale told by an idiot

    by blackshuck

    full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."

  • June 25, 2009, 6:07 a.m. CST

    movies with explosions and tits

    by blackshuck

    can, should, MUST have some character development, some heart, some humanity if they want to transcend the genre. I am sure this flick is a technical fucking marvel. Joe Satriani is a technically brilliant guitar player, but I'd listen to Neil Young over him any day. Unless it's straight up porn. Then you can skip the story. Hey that's it! This shit is robot porn!

  • June 25, 2009, 6:50 a.m. CST


    by redfist


  • June 25, 2009, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Saw it last night...

    by Sin86a

    Hardly rocket science Capone. I can't see how anyone had trouble following the plot. I enjoyed the film though and I don't understand all of the "dislike" heaped on it. It's not really meant to be held up as Oscar bait.

  • June 25, 2009, 7:14 a.m. CST

    A film about giant robots

    by Jansolo

    I mean come on - dimensional characters, plot line - it is a special effects film with explosions by Michael Bay, don't try and get all fucking deep about it. The first ticked all the boxes that this one will. Retarded nonsense, but good retarded nonsense.

  • June 25, 2009, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Could make $180 MM by Monday...

    by YackBacker

    I am completely fascinated by this happening. That is a ridiculous amount of money, all reviews aside. I wish I knew how to manipulate the masses to give me that much money within a 5-day period. Well, I give good backrubs...

  • June 25, 2009, 7:54 a.m. CST

    You know, I can't help but wonder if the sound issue...

    by Geomancer21

    has anything to do with the theaters themselves turning the volume up to high? "Hey, its a big action movie, crank it up"<BR><BR>Just a thought.

  • June 25, 2009, 8:39 a.m. CST

    'A film about giant robots'

    by Mr Gorilla

    You know, JURASSIC PARK was a film about fucking dinosaurs - JUST as retarded a concept. But the film, while it was very light, did manage to deliver amazing action, suspense, a bit of thought, genuine humour... You can make great popular art from the most meagre of sources...

  • June 25, 2009, 8:43 a.m. CST

    So do all Transformers pack giant metal cocks?

    by Smashing

    I could have lived to be 100 and never have needed to see Transformer genitalia, you know in 3 he will show robo-pussy and Fox and Arcee with shag,

  • June 25, 2009, 9:14 a.m. CST

    No weight

    by dr_pepper

    I'm no fancy film critic, just an average 38 year old guy that grew up loving this stuff. I don't go see action movies with character or plot developement at the front of my mind. But this movie was so lacking in both..........well i had the same feeling leaving this movie as I did after watching a 30 minute cartoon episode of transformers (commercials and all) from my early days. There was no weight to any of it. From an effects point of view, they really messed up IMO that these huge robots are flying around and when they hit things or the ground, sure buildings crumble, but there's no "weight" to their bodies. If that makes any sense. However, there's no weight to the characters either. I just didn't give a damn about any of the characters I saw on screen. I actually enjoyed the movie up until the forest scene. And that action sequence did have a bit of "weight" from the first movie. After that, it was pretty much down hill. I'm not sure why, but as a transformer fan, I found the ending utterly ridiculous to have pieces of jetfire instantly grafted onto optimus for a quick battle. How about something a little more elegant perhaps through a merging of their sparks and a rodimus prime type transformation to something larger and stronger. "Here, lets bolt these plane parts onto you". "Battles over - ok, i'll give my shoulders a shake and it will all fall off.......yayyyy i saved the day" LAME!!!! Oh - last. TOO MANY SIDEKICKS Bumblebee, Sector 7 guy, room mate, girl friend, AND the twins. Ok - last. What happened to mini decepticon after dry humping Fox's leg??

  • June 25, 2009, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Ddue, Mr Gorilla...

    by D.Vader

    Dinosaurs are NEVER a retarded concept.

  • June 25, 2009, 10:19 a.m. CST

    I don't get it

    by PacmanFever

    I sincerly don't get why people liked the first one but didn't like this. I can understand hating both, but this confuses me. I hated the first one but found this one passable. The reason? This really was a movie you could defend with "it's giant fucking robots!", whereas the first movie I didn't think that was a good defence because so much of it was just boring teen stuff. "It's Shia riding a girl's bike!" would have been more accurate for that one. Granted, the stereotypes for this one are pretty jaw-dropping, but they were in the first one too. Plus it featured a scene where a bunch of American soldiers were making fun of another soldier for not knowing English.

  • June 25, 2009, 10:40 a.m. CST

    GIANT ROBOTS. All else is nitpickery.

    by j2talk

  • June 25, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST


    by gavdiggity

    officially has my new favorite talkback post ever. <P> Holy shit, that's perfect...

  • June 25, 2009, 12:14 p.m. CST

    A movie for guys who likes movies.

    by shrubbery

    This shit just got real.

  • June 25, 2009, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Hilariously scathing review from Roger Ebert

    by chimpjnr

  • June 25, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST


    by SK229

    You hit the nail on the head... how the hell does shit get greenlit when the scripts are obviously in such bad shape? It's like you could maybe take all the screenwriting books and bullshit saying, "You MUST go through 100 rewrites before you're even halfway towards something worth submitting," if this kind of thing didn't happen with such amazing frequency and if so much money weren't being spent on horribly written movies. Ok, so before they'll buy something or even consider looking at it, it must be Shakespearean in quality, yet how much total trash that could have gone through a few rewrites and made better by a fucking ten year old reaches the screen every year? There's a total elitist attitude when it comes to scripts and screenwriters 'getting in', yet NEAR-ZERO follow-through with the same kind of sensitivity to quality writing on the screen.

  • June 25, 2009, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I had no intention of seeing this but now I will

    by cylon_conspiracy

    <p>I'm going to see this in less than an hour. I enjoyed the first one but didn't see the point in a sequel. Now after reading all the hate, the PASSIONATE hate against this movie, there is no way I am missing this on the big screen. </p> <p> I'm also going because I want to see if I'm out of step with the rest of you guys. Although most of the guys here have a broad knowledge of movies, I wonder how many actually ENJOY THEMSELVES at a movie.</p> <p> I read massive hate against Star Trek and that was one of the best films I'd seen in a long time. Then last night I read some dude tell Bob Orci off and call him a hack on this very site, and it was really disturbing. </p> <p> So I'm going to see TF2 now. I am not expecting anything more than a good time. If I have a good time, it was a success. If not, it was a fail. I am not tricking myself into thinking I'm seing Citizen Kane or Star Wars.</p>

  • June 25, 2009, 2:09 p.m. CST

    "Look I dont hate this film or Bay"

    by Barl

    "Except i really hate this film and Bay" You are as consistant as the movie was...

  • June 25, 2009, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Not THAT bad...

    by Senzafine

    The main culprit of this movie being worse than the first one is the fact that the movie screeches to a total fucking halt once Turturro pops up, all the way until the final outstretched action scene in Egypt. Jar Jar Binks 1 and Jar Jar Binks 2 were horrible and an hispanic version of Anthony Anderson's character from the first one wasn't needed at all, but bashing the rest of the shortcomings on the humor seems to be overblown. Still, it does make the movie painfully average when balanced off with the action set pieces.

  • June 25, 2009, 3:47 p.m. CST

    OMFG!! UNICRON BBQ FTW!!!121231

    by RUSKULL

    russellchallenger. com/ tf3unicron. jpg

  • June 25, 2009, 4:01 p.m. CST

    what a nasty turtle head peeking out

    by red_eddie

    Just saw the film and i have to say as a transformer fan there are too many disappointments throughout. 1: soundwave is a fucking satellite. I know he serves the plot but this couldve been worked around in order to keep him close to his original voice(One of the best things about him) and character likeness. 2. Devastator is useless in the movie, he doesnt talk or do much at all-A waste of money and of a character that is supposed to be a show stealer. I'll stop counting, but everything in the end battle is thrown together and rushed. Its hard to tell who is who in the fighting sequences. Too many story ideas thrown in at the last minute and not really fleshed out and explained. Yet again, transformers not driving the story and too much leaving it up to the humans. Is it too expensive to have transmormers on the screen for the majority of the movie?Probably. But, if theyre going to tell the story the way its intended here at least do it well. Things get really corny and cheesy once John Turturro shows up towards the middle/end. Its not his fault, obviously, because ive seen him do excellent in great movies. Its that character and who ever created it must go, im leaning towards Michael Bay. On a positive side; not everything was bad. There are some good scenes throughout the movie. I'll just have to agree with what a reviewer said on this site; I wish everything was as good as the first hour...and still, just a huge disappointment..WTF ? what a bad summer movie year.I suppose summer isnt over but what is there left..GI-JOE?,lol..Just stay at home and watch the dark knight again on hbo, youre better off,lol. better yet, wait for watchmen on dvd.

  • June 25, 2009, 6:13 p.m. CST

    I don't know........

    by archer1949

    Haven't seen it, but it looks like more of the same as the first one. The first one wasn't THAT bad. I fail to see how more of the same can inspire such vitriol..... Can it REALLY be worse than Bad Boys 2? Really?

  • June 25, 2009, 7 p.m. CST

    I had no intention of seeing this but now I will pt2

    by cylon_conspiracy

    <p>Saw the movie, and I am glad to say I still have the capacity to experience pleasure that many of the TB'ers have lost. </p> <p>I thought the humor was great and was surprised it was so edgy.... I thought most of the jokes worked well. I thought there was massive over-reaction to the "Twins" who were obviously there to be the new characters kids would fall in love with and it worked. It wasn't racist. They were speaking hip hop, just like any wigger these days would. </p> <p>some of the humor did shock me though, the dogs fucking, Shia's mom saying she'd do anything for an A while stoned, the transformer testicles, John Tuturros ass... I think they were trying to make this a movie that appealed to everyone and I think they were thinking "hip, edgy shouth park fans" as well. There really was something for everyone. Again, I think all the parts with the "humans" were funny, engaging, I enjoyed seeing these characters again. </p> <p> It was too long, and yeah it was hard to follow the plot but that's what DVD is for. Unfortunately, just like the last one, it was difficult to distinguish not only which robot was fighting which, but what vehicle they were supposed to have transformed from. It would have helped if there were more slo-mo scenes of the actual transformations happening. </p> <p> But all in all, the time flew by for me, I was impressed by the more adult "south parkish" humor, all the different robots were interesting, it was a definitely a fun experience. Good for what it was.</p> <p> And to all the TB'ers who are having difficulty functioning in life because they disliked the movie, remember, this movie is geared towards younger kids who want to buy the toys, and it's a movie about cars that become robots. </p>

  • June 25, 2009, 7:55 p.m. CST


    by blackshuck

    I enjoy myself thoroughly at the movies. At good movies, that is. Regardless of genre. I am all for a fucking great movie about giant robots from space (please someone do SPACE GIANTS - the original 'transformers')...just don't let it suck. The kind of reverse backlash I see here, where people who are expressing why this does/will suck are suddenly 'haters' who don't know how to have a good time. Bollocks I tells ya. This movie, like the first one, smells of garbage. I am sure I will see it at some point but I don't promise I will get through it.

  • June 25, 2009, 8:03 p.m. CST

    See the movie

    by cylon_conspiracy

    It may smell of garbage but you have to watch it if you want to know if it's garbage. Like I said, I had absolutely no intention of seeing this film until I read all the hate, which to me was a sign something pretty intense was happenign in that movie, and I was thoroughly entertained.

  • June 25, 2009, 8:28 p.m. CST

    this one's better

    by mrdinky

    this movie is actually dumber than the previous effort, but at least it managed to show a couple good fight scenes from start to finish (prime and bumblebee kick the shit out of a couple decepticons). there's no question that T4 is a better movie though. T4 IS a movie (horrible at points, but a coherent movie). this is some quality CGI caked in essence of retard with a side of step'n'fetchit. still better than the first movie just for a couple of the fight scenes. TIP: try to forget that there's a T3 knockoff robot scene and that they manage to pay homage to the most rediculous summer flops (JUMPER, INDY 5, STARGATE, MATRIX 3, THE PHANTOM MENACE). This thing is an instant MST3K classic!

  • June 25, 2009, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Only morons don't see the big deal about the Sambots

    by BrooklynBred

    pdennett316-who cares about Mudflap and Skidmark by j2talk Jun 24th, 2009 06:00:51 PM its a movie.....get over it.... Hey idiot I wonder if there were Italian robots who talked about whacking Decepticons or Asian robots who had slanted eyes and spoke broken english or Latino robots who ran around like Speedy Gonzales if it would not be such a big deal. Why do I even bother? Biggots only see what they want.

  • June 25, 2009, 10:38 p.m. CST

    I turn off my brain and lower

    by Han Job Solo

    my expectations every time I read these TBs. Works every time. And not posting dozens of times on every TF2 TB doesn't hurt either <hint>

  • June 25, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST


    by Nuking the Fridge

    I was waiting for those two robots to say "Dynomite". I was looking for their hair comb and gold chains.

  • June 26, 2009, 6:39 a.m. CST

    "I still have the capacity to experience pleasure..."

    by BurnHollywood

    Au contraire my friend. NOBODY jerks off more times a day than me. NOBODY.

  • June 26, 2009, 7:45 a.m. CST


    by Bladernner79

    My biggest problem with the movie besides the stupid humor, and obama bashing, is Bays insistence to not focus on the autobots at all besdies those two idiot twins even obtimus prime doesnt get much screentime. why can't bay let us se some interection between the autobots we don't get to know these characters at all, do we really need to focus on sam's parents and his new friend that much. everyone knows wy people go see these movies and its not for shia or megan. a good director would give us much more off what we want to see.

  • June 26, 2009, 8:21 a.m. CST

    "I was waiting for those two robots to say

    by Han Job Solo

    "Dynomite". I was looking for their hair comb and gold chains. <br> <br> So it's '70's black sitcom robots that have you in a dither? Were you also wating for them to transform into a cadillac with a diamond in the back and a sunroof top? And wear wide brimmed hats and furlined coats? You my friend conjured that stereotype. But maybe you weren't alive to actually see it when it was real.

  • June 26, 2009, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Transformers: The Movie is the only...

    by Cap'n Jack

    ...real Transformers movie there will ever be. I cried.

  • June 26, 2009, 4:10 p.m. CST


    by hobsnobber

    I was going to type something profound and meaningful, but since this movie completely sucked any intelligence I had left after a twenty-year drinking binge, I'm only going to say this: What a horrible, putrid, disgusting mess of a film. A complete lack of sense or dignity is too much to ask for because ITS A TRANSFORMERS FILM?! Anyone who has asked me about this waste has received the same response: "If you didn't grow up with an obsession for Transformers as a kid, there is absolutely no reason to see this movie. And even then, don't."<p> T:ROTF > T:S > Wolverine, therefore this summer blows. Logic is FUN!!!

  • June 28, 2009, 3:30 a.m. CST


    by zenmarc

    <a href="">دردشه</a>, <a href="">دردشه عربيه</a>, <a href="">دردشه سعوديه</a> , <a href="">دردشه خليجيه</a>, <a href="">دردشه مصريه</a>, <a href="">دردشه تعب</a>, <a href=""> دردشه تعب قلبى</a>, <a href="">شات</a> <a href="">شات عربى</a>, <a href="">شات رومانسى</a> , <a href="">شات خليجى</a>, <a href="">شات سعودى</a>, <a href="">شات مصرى</a>, <a href="">شات تعب</a>, <a href="">شات تعب قلبى</a> , <a href="">سعودى كام</a> , <a href="">خليجى كام</a> , <a href="">سعودى تيوب</a> , <a href="">دليل سعودى</a> , <a href="">الدردشه الكتابيه</a> , <a href="">الفن والطرب</a> <a href="">الثقافه الجنسيه</a> <a href="">العاب الفلاش</a> <a href="">البلوتوث والجوال</a> <a href="">المواقع الاسلاميه</a> <a href="">مواقع الافلام</a> <a href="">مواقع الرياضه</a> <a href="">الادله والبحث</a> <a href="">صور وتحميل</a> <a href="">مواقع اجنبيه</a> <a href="">اغانى طرب يوتيوب</a> <a href="">تاجوج السودانيه</a> <a href="">كافيه بنات</a> <a href="">دردشه بنات</a> <a href="">دردشه عشان الحب الصوتيه</a> <a href="">دردشه</a>, <a href="">دردشه عربيه</a>, <a href="">دردشه سعوديه</a> , <a href="">دردشه خليجيه</a>, <a href="">دردشه مصريه</a>, <a href="">دردشه تعب</a>, <a href="">دردشه تعب قلبى</a>, <a href="">شات</a>, <a href="">شات عربى</a>, <a href="">شات رومانسى</a>, <a href="">شات خليجى</a> , <a href="">شات سعودى</a> , <a href="">شات مصرى</a>, <a href="">شات تعب</a>, <a href="">شات تعب قلبى</a>, <a href="">سعودى كام</a>, <a href="">خليجى كام</a>,.. <a href="">ماسنجر</a> <a href="">العاب بنات</a> <a href="">السحروالجن</a> <a href="">العاب </a> <a href="">منتديات</a> <a href="">المطبخ العربى</a> <a href="">دردشه صوتيه</a> <a href="">كتب الكترونى</a> <a href="">بطاقات تهنئه</a> <a href="">ثقافه جنسيه </a> <a href="">برامج</a> <a href="">توبيكات</a> <a href="">دليل <a href="">قنوات التليفزيون</a> <a href="">السوق النسائى</a> <a href="">السياحه والسفر</a>ر <a href="">صوتيات لقيت روحى</a> <a href="">منتدى الطلبه والطالبات</a> <a href="">نواعم لقيت روحى</a> <a href="">منتدى التصاميم</a> <a href="">همس القوافى</a> <a href="">منتدي الصور</a> <a href="">منتدى الرياضه</a> <a href="">منتدى الصحه</a> <a href="">منتدى الطفل</a> <a href="">الازياء والاكسسوارات</a> <a href="">الديكور والاشغال اليدويه</a> <a href="">الجوال والاتصالات</a> <a href="">الكمبيوتر والانترنت</a> <a href="">منتدى السيارات</a> <a href="">كويت كام</a> <a href="">كام</a> <a href="">دليل سعودى كام </a> <a href="">خليجى كام</a> <a href="">عقار</a> <a href="">ابحاث</a> <a href="">عرب <a href="">الصحف</a> <a href="">عذب الكلام القصص والروايات</a> <a href="">استراحه بنات</a>

  • June 28, 2009, 3:26 p.m. CST

    I enjoyed it.

    by Sal_Bando

    It's the same as the first one, save for: MORE Robots, More robot Characters, ummmmm about 15 minutes more of shit blowing up. It's NOT great, but I had fun and it seemed like most of the audience there did too. <p> Can't see how if you liked the first one, you'd not like this. Huey and Lewey were a hit, to be honest, the jug ears and gold teeth were kinda unfortunate, but then watching Christian Bale about shit his pants w/ every word in Terminator IV(which I liked, by the way) was too.<p> Big Robots Hitting Each Other Once More. Make another Mikey. We're ready.

  • June 29, 2009, 11:28 a.m. CST

    I liked Devastators Balls!

    by jarjarmessiah

    In the next one lets see some decepti-wiener!

  • July 6, 2009, 1:47 p.m. CST

    SOME African American folks

    by HectorTesticulo

    at my theatre were laughing their asses off at these two characters. If these characters are racist, some people who are the indirect victims of such racism don't seem to know it or think so.

  • Feb. 15, 2010, 2:19 a.m. CST


    by TmvEqK

    wrvykMn <a href=" ">ZcgpiPl</a>

  • Feb. 15, 2010, 2:19 a.m. CST


    by TmvEqK

    uKoMFU <a href=" ">oqhbrM</a>