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Massawyrm pretty much hates everything about TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
Sigh. I can’t believe my eyes. I don’t want to believe them. TRANSFORMERS REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is one of the most unrepentantly juvenile, gleefully offensive, mind bogglingly inane films I have ever seen with a real budget behind it. And that’s saying a lot. There are things here I never would have believed had I read about them – things I would have found to be exaggeration and hyperbole on the part of oversensitive, agenda driven people looking for a fight. But I saw them, plain as day. And I’m still having a hard time believing what I saw.
By now most of you know me pretty well. I’m a Bay fan. I love his over saturated, testosterone dripping romps of wanton destruction for what they are. Michael Bay isn’t the guy you get to tell a great story – I’ll never defend his storytelling ability for a minute.
No, Mike is the guy you get when you want to orchestrate and compose a nine movement symphony of carnage and mayhem - a popcorn chomping festival of mindless abandon. He is the reigning king of spectacle – a guy who makes films with their own laws of physics. Every bystander is beautiful. Every car is souped up, turbo charged and throbbing with power. And he can even suspend night so he can show every capitol of every country in the world bathed in daylight all at once so we get a sense of just how important this mission is to every other person on the fucking planet. Hoo-ah! He is one of the most blatantly ripped off, visually visceral guys out there, having influenced an entire generation of action movies...whether you like it or not.
But left unchecked he can apparently make a seriously mind numbing piece of shit.
This is a film as epic in scope as it is in its failure. As much as I loved the first film, even I (in my review - HERE) admitted a number of its glaring flaws. Fortunately, everything that was right about the movie overshadowed the robot pissing, the goofy as fuck Turturro and the sneaking giant robots. When it worked, it REALLY worked. The storyline introducing us to the Transformers through the eyes of humans slowly over the course of the film was fine for a first film. It was okay because we, as an audience, needed to buy these things as characters over time. And ultimately we did. But everything that was simply wrong or just underdeveloped was excused because, well, we wanted to see what fifty foot robots beating the shit out of each other looked like…and that’s exactly what Michael Bay gave us: fifty foot robots beating the shit out of each other.
But now we’ve seen that. We’ve watched fifty foot robots beating the shit out of one another and now we’re ready for what’s next. Unfortunately, what’s next is more of everything that was wrong the first time. Here Bay magnifies EVERYTHING bad about the first. You thought robot pissing was weak? Check out robot farting, robot crying and giant, clanging robo-testicles. Oh yeah. Michael Bay wanted his big cast iron balls in the film and there they are, dangling off of Devastator in one of the film’s defining dramatic moments. I guess he couldn’t get away with a giant, limp swinging cyber-phallus, so he went with the next best thing.
But if that weren’t enough, he had to add even more comic relief than the first time around. Remember Turturro? Yeah. Well apparently he had it in his contract that there needed to be a character even more obnoxious than him to say all the REALLY shitty lines. It’s Turturro squared.
Then there’s the Joepecicon – a terrible GOODFELLAS joke gone awry in the form of a small Decepticon who cracks wise…incessantly. And worst of all, the frightening sidekicks of the film and the mistake this film will most likely be forever known for: Mudflap and Skids, the Stepin Fetchbots of the film. It’s as if Michael Bay looked at Jar Jar Binks and said “Oh, fuck no. Really? People find THAT offensive? Fuck that, I’ll show them a fucking stereotype they’ll never fucking forget!” And he does.
Oh. My. God.
They speak in clichéd urban slang, tossing around phrases like “I’m gonna pop a cap in your ass” while fist bumping and mumbling unintelligently in a voice that sounds like a bad Chappelle Show sketch. Then you get a close up. And they each have bug eyes and a gold tooth. Then there’s this jackass comment about them not being able to read. My jaw was on the floor. I mean, if you’re gonna toss out a bad stereotype, at least have the courtesy to make that stereotype a complete badass so as to deflect complaints that this is a deliberately negative portrayal. These mother fuckers are incompetent, bumbling and never, EVER, cool.
And all this leads to the worst sin of the film. It’s called TRANSFORMERS. And yet, 90% of the film is spent entirely with the above collection of tools and occasionally Bumblebee who has mysteriously lost his voice again. Sure, the film OPENS with Optimus Prime and all the badasses from the previous film. But they’re barely in this film at all. It’s more about Shia and Megan running around, collecting incompetent sidekicks while half-assing their way through an Indiana Jones plot. Ironhide? Ratchet? They’re all back at the base. They could only spare a pair of sambot jackasses for THE MOST IMPORTANT MISSION, LIKE, EVER!
Which leads to the next issue – the plot. There isn’t one. As one reviewer pointed out, this film is roughly a few minutes longer than 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY - and yet it can’t scrape together enough of a story to be, you know, somewhat comprehensible. I mean there are a few story elements here that get strung together into something resembling a MOVIE, but there’s zero through line that anyone can explain.
Shia gets zapped by an energy that turns him into an unwitting memory storage device and he becomes the kid from FLIGHT OF THE NAVAGATOR, so the Decepticons want him because of a piece of info he has on a lost artifact, so he has to find the artifact first. Throw in a revenge subplot that makes zero sense (They sacrificed their lives to betray me! But I’m okay and they’re dead, so now I’m super pissed…wait) and a race against time because only a Prime can defeat The Fallen (um, why exactly?) and you get something that you can follow, but never, ever care about. And before you try to point out “isn’t that every Michael Bay movie,” let me say: no, it isn’t. He’s never been this completely incomprehensible. It’s like the script was written in one sitting on a Morphine bender, with the writer nodding in and out of consciousness, thinking that he’d already written what happened in his dreams and simply picking back up where the dream left off.
But the action…the action has to be pretty awesome, right? Um. No, actually. This time around it is even harder to discern than before. Bay puts all the focus on the humans whenever possible, with the giant robots doing all their fighting in the background. Most of the time the fighting is so fast and furious that it is a series of digital blurs – the audience left unable to discern which is the Autobot and which is the Decepticon. The audience broke into applause no less than 5 times during the film, but this only further punctuated the problems as it was always during a slo-mo scene of violence. You see, when you can actually tell what is going on, the fighting is AWESOME. There are some truly spectacular moments of robot on robot assbeating - all of them in slow motion. But the rest of the time you won’t know and probably won’t care what’s going on.
This film is a total and complete waste; a soggy, half baked dessert of a film that you can’t even say “Well, at least the action was cool.” It is an embarrassment, a pathetic misuse of hundreds of millions of dollars that only serves as the new model for excess run amok. Hopefully ten years from now I can put this in and laugh about it the way I laugh about BATMAN AND ROBIN, giggling furiously at the idea that they spent that much money of robot balls and a cybernetic minstrel show. But right now I’m too disappointed, too bitter and just too appalled to find any of this funny. You know, now that I think about it, maybe Bay got his giant, limp, swinging cyber-phallus after all. It’s called TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
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God, this sounds shit.
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Really, is there anyone that is shocked at all? Another director for the next, please.
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Michael Bay passed his zenith? Unbelievable!
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Because PEARL HARBOR sucked...and I miss you.
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Awesome!
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. . . the rights in the first one, didn't overshadow the wrongs. Not even close.
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I've said it before and I'm saying it again. So there. As for Transformers. It's based on a kids toy. I don't expect brilliance in the least. Especially after the first one was so damn goofy and enjoyable. It sounds like Bay Squared this time around. Should do well at the box office, especially after Paul Blart was such a big hit.
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I got nothin.
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...prepare to have your balls washed, blow dried, waxed, and polished by AssimovLives.
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and he liked the fist movie....lol
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What a letdown. I am one of those that enjoyed the first Bayformers. It was fun. I was hoping that the second effort would be at the very least just as good (to me). But when massa says that he is actually emphasizing the flwas from the first, then I have no hope for this. Damn, damn, damn you Michael Bay.
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..I saw the movie, and thought it was funny. I dozed off a bit, but I kinda liked the comedy bits, it was like a 'Carry On' movie. 'Carry On Robots', really.
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Ok, it could be that I'm wrong... I'm going to go watch it tomorrow but even I must admit this is starting to sound like a real stinker.... Fuck, the haters were right! :D
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Whats the matter, didn't they have Big Robots that Smoke? Isn't that the Real reason you didn't like it?Just think of all the kids who could have said "Big Robots who Smoke, how cool is that".More addicts for you to befriend, how cool is THAT?
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Jun 23, 2009 12:31:09 PM CDT
Apparently, t's made 8.5 Million in the British box office.
by scriptgirl_nipples
It's also easily beaten Star Trek's 6 million opening weekend there.
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Which fist movie did Ebert like? Might be worth a rental.
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At least, they didn't put grease paint on their faces like blackface, right?
Ah, fuck it. I hated the first one. So, I'm not seeing this one. -
Let's get a push going for Neill Blomkamp for TF3 and get a serious TF movie.
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Jun 23, 2009 12:32:11 PM CDT
It's also easily beaten Star Trek's 6 million opening weekend th
by harry weinstein
So fucking what?
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Was it the 'Hand that Rocks the Butthole?' 'Fist Wars. Revenge of the Knuckle?' As long as it stars an attractive woman, it could be interesting.
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This reminds me of an interview I read with the guy who "wrote" the Pirate of the Caribbean films. He said he doesn't care about story. He writes a film by coming up with something big and exciting, and then something even bigger and more exciting, etc., etc. Apparently, movies don't have to make sense any more. You just string together a bunch of expensive scenes and you have a movie.
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NICE!!!!
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Don't give them ideas.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*inhale*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -
Yeah - don't buy that. Elliot and Rossio's blog is the opposite of that.
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COMEDY GOLD!!! Thanks Massawyrm.
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...so is this INDY4 bad. Or, *shudder*, worse?
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...as to why people in Hollywood think it's cool to have characters in movies try to be urban and try to pull if off seriously. If you're not the real deal, it doesn't work fools.
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why blame only bay for the story/script?! yes he has his input, but orci, kurtzman & kruegar ARE THE FILMS WRITERS, yet they consistently escape having to answer for the crappy outcome of their scripts. and again, i'm well aware that bay gives his 2 (or 100) cents, but i'm always baffled at how misdirected blame gets handed out when it comes to bay films.
i haven't seen the film yet, but it sounds like the script is where things began to go horribly wrong...so why aren't we pointing the blame finger at the guys responsible for the films blueprint aka the script?! throw bay's name in there too, but let all parties answer for this disappointment. -
...get to keep on making movies..." TA.
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what, you were expecting Shakespeare? (obviously you were, because there are only two levels of quality in film: Bayformers and Shakespeare) . Why do you MENSA, Ivy League film snobs demand any sort of quality when watching movies? GET OVER YOURSELVES! ITS ROBOTS FIGHTING! Well actually, its more like 2/3s wacky robot hijinks and a boy trying to bang a slut, but then its ROBOTS FIGHTING! well, i think thats what they are, they could be random piles of junk metal, but still: ROBOTS FIGHTING you expect too much to have a popcorn movie with even a base level of intelligence, even though that has been done in a million or so popcorn movies before... ROBOTS!!!!! Check your brain!
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You let your emotions take over your review. Grow up and write a proper one. Well nevermind, if you were able to write a proper one you wouldn't be working at AICN now would you.
Never fear Massawyrn, there will be enough Japanese Horror Movies and Fanboy bloodlust movies ripped from other countries to get you off.
Or how about "The Expendables", I'm sure it'll get such a glowing review from all you so-called reviewers because Stallone made you all feel like somebody because he posted on AICN. Wowwwwweeee.
I'm done with the biased reviews here.
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Erm... Because TF2 has beaten ST, and that was the biggest opening weekend of the year so far?
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a friend of mine watched it and loved it. but then again she hated star trek. I'm conflicted. but fuck it i'll watch the bayhem on the big screen cause its out over here.
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I think Michael Bay is a shitbird hack who personifies everything that's wrong with movies today. I'm not kidding myself, this will make bank, and if the guy's career can withstand Pearl Harbor, it's a veritable cockroach of a career, hard to kill - but anything that puts a dent in his rep, however small, makes me smile.
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...Spielberg give this the thumbs up?!! Maybe it wasn't Lucas that fucked up Indy... FUCK YOU BAY!!!
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Shia and Megan Fox have admitted that most of their dialogue is improvised. I don't think Bay gives a damn about the script, save to give a very slim view of what scenes there are for the studio.
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Cause I see a PLANT
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He makes it out to be such an epic fail, that i have to go, and i will probably love it.
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at snorting cocaine off hot chicks.
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i'm really bummed to hear that this is what ROTF is. this is my #1 most anticipated film of 09', and i', praying you guys are being overly harsh, but since you are an admitted bay fan...sadly yer probably being very honest. i cannot believe they thought personifying skids/mudflap in that irritating manner was a good idea. i'm not offended by the racial stereotype - i'm offended by the shitty writing. did they hear none of the outrage at jazz's dialogue from part 1?! it was stupid then, so now we get twice the stupidity in the sequel?! i am soooooo disappointed to hear this.
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I just read the talkbacl and someone already used my plant joke. Move along folks
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BOOM,POW,BANG,WAP
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now i have to watch this movie
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THEY SHOULD BE THE ONE FOUND IN THE SAME CLOSET HANGING BY THE BALLS
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I've seen in a long time. The amount of money, time and energy thrown at this garbage is odious. And for the love of Christ what's the story? Just because this is based on toy line does that mean we can't get a reasonable story line!
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they handed in an outline just before the writer's strike hit. i'll bet there wasn't a script. and word is spielberg was far more hands off on this one, hence why part one is much better. it's seriously time though to figure out michael bay's deal with black people; for that matter, with any minority. the bit in transformers where jazz got killed i actually yelled out in complete shock "oh yeah of course they kill the black robot"
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Yep everything that is said is spot on. It really is that Bad
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Then came the spoilers I think. Don't know cause I stopped reading. This films bullet proof and I'm sure I'll love it. Even those Un-PC ignorant rap culture black sterotyped robots played by that white guy. Yeah I'm going to love them in all their insensitive sterotyped glory. Why cause it's how alot of young white and black people act today. Admit it! It's not a black thing anymore. It's a retarded thing and lots of young folks are behaving like that, some adults to, say it's bullshit then go to your local mall and look at all the types walkign around you, fuck every 25 feet theres a indian run stand with big ass fake bling watches and necklaces and gold teeth inserts then a cellphone one and then another bling one. Tell me I'm wrong..... Nice to see it played up and offensive to all. Oh no they is making fun of black folks again. Nope they are making fun of trends, and this one needs to die. Black culture in america since the 70's has been making and playing out some really dumb shit. Afros, Z cuts, binkys in the mouth, Hydrolics, Bling, Baggy jeans, 200 dollar sneakers, Soul Glo, Hat floating on heads, parachute pants, and songs that only speak of kush, rides and bitches. Yeah eat it. Eat it all!!! Don't play that OMG "You're Racist" shit with me... I voted Obama and my Uncle is black, and I preffer Black chiks over white chicks, There's no way. I hate dead evils like Nazis and shit and stores like Hot Topic and Hanna Montana. Yeah so I'm racist against brands and shit, not races. I'm Glad bay did this. Be offended. It's a mirror, deal with it! I'm so offended, how dare you... Hahahahahahaha. Fuck You!
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I guess that this will have to be the summer that Star Trek was fantastically rebooted and...uh...nothing else noteworthy happened. All that's left in the summer action spectacle department are Harry Potter (and as much as I enjoy them, its all "been-there-done-that") and G.I.Joe. And I don't really have much hope for that one - though I would be SO happy if Sommers prooves me wrong. Anyway, Wolverine, Terminator, Land of the Lost and Transformers will fade away into forgettableness, leaving us with a summer of few thrills. At least the laughs have been pretty good this year with the Hangover, Up, and lotsa promise showing from Bruno. Guess I just have to wait for summer 2010 for some thrills.
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Jun 23, 2009 12:46:03 PM CDT
Waiting to see this movie is starting to feel like...
by zombieheathledger
...being the last guy to creampie an ugly fat chick in a 200 dude gangbang.
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...that someone at AICN wold complain about something being badly written, given the quality of writing on this site.
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Usually films start off with a good script and then things get increasingly clusterfucked thereafter. Except with ROTF - apparently the script was cooked up over the course of a weekend or something like that.
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I read this post in the Eye Candy TB, think it was Sal Bando.Devastator's got Balls-AsimovLives Doesn't.Golden
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That is all.
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There's always District 9.
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I really dig your reviews and yet I have not said anything on any of your review talkbacks. I think that most of your reviews or spot on and I am sure your review of T2 is going to be right on as well (talk about assumption!) I hated the first Transformers and I know I'll hate this one too, but I'm still going to see it to see just how bad it is. I'm guessing that all the bad shit done here is done without care of an audience that would actually respect a live action Transformers movie (like to me, the first was). But I will say this for GI Joe ( a tad off topic), it makes T2 look like Shakespeare. Now that Hasbro film is really going to blow.
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Pearl Harbor has its flaws but it has a great score and is beautifully shot. Plus it has Kate Beckinsale. So I'm gonna guess "no".
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http://tinyurl.com/mbu73h
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...we have lowered our expectations beyond ridiculous. Remember when we had an awesome LOTR movie to look forward to every other year? My next hopes waiting to be dashed are now hinging on HARRY POTTER.
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You liked Dragged Me To Hell as well I'm guessing. Ha!
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T2? That title ONLY belongs on the Cameron film. Not this piece of shit.
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Jun 23, 2009 12:50:13 PM CDT
The "it was based on a kids' toy" excuse is getting tiring...
by randysavage
^exactly. It doesn't matter if the film is based on a cereal box character (and they soon will be), a writer can make a great, good or terrible script out of it.
Lesson: Even great writers have about 5 really good scripts in them. That's it. Good writers have 1 or 2.
Orci and Kurtzman have had a lot of b.o. success so they kept on getting thrown the ball, but as writers they are out of gas, bankrupt, and need to be retired.
Hollywood needs to realize this. -
piece of shit. "You didn't like robots pissing?" "Well FUCK YOU. Have a gander at DEVASTATORS BALLS!"
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The Transformers always acted so human anyway. And the robot farting was such a subtle thing that most people probably missed.
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Your face.
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When McG Said that he had bigger testicles than Michael Bay?
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by Devastator.
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Ahahahaha, oh my god. I'm so mad. They ruined my childhood memory of a cartoon created to sell toys... Uhhhhh I'm so Hacken mad!
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Did you post your review in the EC TB?
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The films good,Eat a DICK with robot balls
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I don't know where that criticism came from, Massa. That one really confuses me.
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That sounds... weird to me. The only time I've ever encountered clapping in a theater is when it punctuates a funny joke or an entertaining action scene. Not during a slo-mo shot. Audience clapping has to happen at the end of something- not during the middle. That's odd.
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Or simply TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE BAYFAIL?
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and Bernie Mac roles in the first, is it any surprise that Bay has "gangsta bots" in the latest? Isn't the fact that robots can transform to vehicles and such be enough? Do they HAVE to exhibit cartoonish, stereotype behavior? This is one Bayfest that I'll gladly pass, despite the, what looks to be, amazing effect work.
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Which is the EC TB?
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Nice gimmick.
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I know douchbag WHITE guys that talk like that- it just makes them laughable buffoons. If anything, it's a comment on jackassery, not just sterotypical urban black youth. I can't wait to see this movie.
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I was looking forward to this even though the first had too much goofy humor and was... kinda lame but FUCK! I loved the robot shit and now Bay has gone and screwed EVERYTHING UP!!! FIRE THIS DICK SUCKER!
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Pictures from a Tranny 2 coloring book. http://tinyurl.com/cngjzl
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY!
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89 minutes, maybe 99...fine. At 149 minutes, it's nearly AN HOUR longer than it should be. It's like five episodes of the cartoon, if you added in the commercial breaks. Just for a frame of reference (and I'm not trying to turn this into a Dark Knight discussion, I swear, I'm not), I thought TDK could have easily lost 15 minutes. I might like it as much as many or most others here if it had. But an HOUR?? When, knowing Bay, it's a hour of explosions and slow-mo and motion-sickness camerawork? I don't even know where to start, except to stay far, far away...
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY!
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I hope he cries
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY!
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I have all my main concerns with the movie in the reviews talkback so look there for more info. I can see the issues massa has with it, theyre all up there on screen for anyone to see. The action though i thought was wholy acceptable and for me thats what saved it, I agree though, the more and more i think and discuss the movie the less and less satisfied i am with it. It was competely wasteful with time, characters, effects and plot. Things just seemed to happen after endlessly waiting through huge dull sections, random transformers would pop up and then die. And in the end you dont really care for what is happening. That said it's still a better movie than terminator.
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will equal a big payday at the boxoffice. DreamWorks & Paramount say thank you AICN, you lucky charm you.
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...the first one, and all of Bay's films, sucked monkey-balls.
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you actually own Batman and Robin?
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What the fuck was that? I couldn't tell if you are jokeing, actually only 12 years old? A girl or a guy?
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Massawym is the worst reviewer on this site. He encouraged us to go watch the Day the Earth stood still. And that movie was definitely something we could waited to rent from REDBOX.
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transforms into a vehicle...is it a Pimpmobile?
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You rawk!
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But The Rock is still fantastic!
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International Eye Candy Talkback.
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this Devastator has a scrotum. And yes this is as bad as Massa says, I saw it last night. Beyond disappointing and the most expensive mess I've ever seen. There is no story here, there's barely a film. I don't even know how you could fix it, honestly the only way it could be good is if you started from scratch. I liked the first one, and this one maybe has 2-3 "cool" parts which last for about 5 seconds. Do that math, that's a collective 15 seconds of coolness out of 2 1/2 hours. Please don't see this in the theatre so they dont torture us with a third.
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hehehehe
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Hundreds of tomorrow night’s midnight show times for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (debuting June 24 at 12:01 a.m.) are already sold out across the country. A few facts from Fandango below:
* Sold-out midnight show times (on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning) can be found all across the U.S.A., in cities such as New York, San Francisco, Washington, D.C., Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Albuquerque, Denver, Houston, Nashville, Orlando, Colorado Springs, Tulsa, Fresno and Buford, Georgia.
* Exhibitors are continuing to add 3:45 a.m. or 4:00 a.m. show times on Wednesday morning to meet the fan demand.
* Currently, the film is selling twice as many tickets on Fandango as the original Transformers sold at the same point in that film’s sales cycle (two days before release date).
* The movie currently represents 87% of today’s ticket sales
* And as we noted yesterday, TF 2 showings at 500+ theaters in China are sold out 1.5 weeks in advanced. -
I almost expected them to start eating watermelon or fried chicken. Or to maybe start huffing on the end of a broken, blunt-shaped exhaust pipe.
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Just a quick one with quick thoughts at 3 in the morning.
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Why Michael? Why? :(
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And get the mighty Chris Nolan to direct! He and his brother can pen it as well.Then sign ANYONE but Shia LaBeouf and shit can that talentless SKANK Megan Fox ( outside of screwing she is absolutely WORTHLESS!) and POOF! KICK FUCKING ASS DUUUUDE!!
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what do you expect?
Bay sucks, Spielberg lost his mojo after JP and the writers are hacks.
Add in shia lewank and megan fox (totally gone off her, she looks freaky now) and there you go.
That said, I really wanted this to rock.
And tell us what happened to barricade -
Thanks for speaking for everyone...
"But now we’ve seen that. We’ve watched fifty foot robots beating the shit out of one another and now we’re ready for what’s next" (Massawhatever, 21 July 2009).
How does watching robots beat the shyt out of each other get old?!? I'm pretty sure that is why the cartoon and the toy line has been so successful that people fregin worship them to the effect of even getting tattoes and paint jobs on the cars. Is that extreme? Yeah it is, but God bless them for their passion.
I personally want to see robots beat the shyt out of each other all the time!! It doesn't get old. I'm not looking for this movie to win a fregin academy award. I am just wanting to fregin drink some beers and be entertained for a couple of hours. I am expecting to see robots beating the shyt out of each other. If they have to add a few cheesy characters and cheesy comedy bits, so be it. It's not like the first one was the "Godfather" of action movies. I'm not looking for this one to be better, just close to more of the same.
You uber-geeks are hard to peg on your tastes sometimes and the way you sway back on forth on what you want in a movie. At least you make a living off of watching all kinds of movies all the fregin time and sharing your thoughts on those movies... hats off to you for that. -
Thanks, I'll check it out.
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY!
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Its not necessarily a "black thing" anymore. Its just stupid behavior.
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY!
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The Dark Knight.
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"C'mon guys critics? Give me a break. Do you all have short term memory? They killed the first one, and it still became a world-wide smash. I made this for the you, the audience!"
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There are a couple of new offensive, blackcent cgi creations. And, get this George, they were voiced by a white guy...HAHA. It makes you look like a fucking genius for casting Javed Best to V.O. your step 'n fetchit cgi creation.
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My biggest problem with Bay is that despite all the frantic action and explosions in his films, his movies are all just simply boring...
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Turn your brain off, it's not Shakespeare, stare at Meagan Fox, the cartoon was a toy commercial, it's not Citizen Kane, Shia Rocks! Did I miss any Bay touchers?
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"...hundreds of millions of dollars..."They should use that as a blurb in the ads.
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The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire.
Perhaps he missed Aliens? -
Must haved not seen BB2.
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That he currently calls home.
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REALLY??? REALLY??? Because I', PRETTY fucking sure that, that "Toy Commercial" was Citizen Kane's final performence.
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It'll be a rental for me then. Still it's hard to get too worked up over 'hating' this movie though; it's a movie aimed at 12-15 year olds. It's not really meant for us.
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So it sounds like I'm really going to hate this one! Good review Massa.
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...is an idiot. The first one was a truly horrible film--how good could the sequel have been anyway?
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Massa delivers the pain as usual, but I am QUITE surprised of how much of a Michael Bay fan he is. How is this piece of crap any different from the first piece of crap? This is garbage Hollywood money-grabbing shit-flick at its best! And Bay is the king of these sort of shit-flicks. Jesus, 2009 is one of the worst movie years EVER!
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I have never liked Bay's depiction of black people in his movies so this isn't entirely surprising. Then again, I haven't like Bay's depiction of pretty much anything.
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Let me address a few things people seem to get really fucked up:
1) BASED ON A TOY. Yeah, so what? "Raiders of the Lost Ark" was based on cheap, pulp B-movies, and it had a great storyline. Same with "Star Wars". Just because it BEGAN as a toy there's no reason it can't be made into something much more. Shit, the cartoon had a great story and great characters. Bay took 200 million dollars to do a worse job.
2) IT WILL MAKE MONEY. God, let's hope not. Let's hope it LOSES money. And there's a chance it will. Know why? The first film made money because (A) fans were hopeful and went to see it and (B) the general audience was curious because it was a cool concept. Now that both audiences have been thoroughly butt-raped I don't think this (more expensive) sequel will make nearly as much bank. In Hollywood business terms, that equates to losing money. And if THAT happens, Bay's glory days are numbered.
3) BAY SUCKS. Yeah, he does. -
Jun 23, 2009 1:19:15 PM CDT
I LOVE LICKING OTHER MEN'S TESTICLES!
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
I AM INCREDIBLE! YOU ARE ALL POOR! I AM INCREDIBLE! I LOVE THE SMELL AND TASTE OF OTHER MEN'S TESTICLES! THANKS FOR THE BIG TESTICLES MICHAEL BAY! YOU RULE!
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Already love this review more then the movie, which I will not watch.
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And will do more in the States. Count on it. You'll never get rid of the Bay-ster.
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For one of the first times in my life i am going to be a conceded fuck, i have to say i have INCREDIBLE taste in movies, and i loved the first film quite a bit and i think the second besides its flaws is going to be just fine, these reviewers these days just have to get over themselves and remember what it is to be a kid and have fun, i am by no means condoning stupid movies, but TRUST me i have seen COMPLETE crap and transformers is far from it.
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You get robots beating the shyt out of each other, interspaced between extremely long periods of randomly following shia at home, at university, at the A&S museum, in the middle of the desert generally doing nothing or interacting with annoying characters (they are somewhat bearable...only just). Plus the robots you see beating each other up....you generally never know who the hell they are, you get *insert single character from first film* randomly show up to save shia from some random deceptacon/s that have only just randomly appeared in the film, either by coming from space or being disguised as something that you know is a transformer but you dont know what friggin side its on.
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No, not by a long shot.
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Every single ONE of his movies has some minstrel act in it. How the fuck does this guy get away with it?
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Just wondering.
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"Batman" began as a simple, made-for-kids comic book. A "toy", if you will. And yet "The Dark Knight" was a pretty damn sophisticated movie. Translation: There's no reason a toy can't be made into a great science-fiction movie with action AND depth if the director and his team are willing to make the effort and respect their audience. BayCo. does neither. They make no effort and they respect no-one.
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Should that get rid of the haters, it's time well spent
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Cover, The Touch?
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Well, lots of bad movies make money: Paul Blart for one, Meet the Fockers for another. And those movies are nearly unwatchable.
It's nice when movies make money; it doesn't make them good. -
My thing is I just don't understand why he (or Spielberg for that matter) thought it was necessary to take it that far. Unfortunately my sense is Orci and the other guy who wrote this thing have issues. I say this having seen the new Proposal movie which they produced which features one of the most embarrassing portrayals of a Hispanic person that I have ever seen in my life. I don't think Bay or Spielberg are racists but it is disturbing that they chose to take/allow this depiction to go as far as it did. I mean as if it wasn't enough that they were voiced in a jive dialect they had to go ahead and add insult to injury by giving him a gold tooth and all the anti-reading talk? Outrageous. And I'm a mixed race (black and white) minority who thinks Song Of The South isn't that bad when viewed in the context of the time it was made. But T2 is completely different. So sad and disappointing because I'm one of Bay's biggest defenders when I discuss his films with friends.
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Just placing the old offensive stereotypes on robots. Maybe in pt.3 we'll have a Jolsonbot.
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Along with Trek, those are the blockbusters that will define the summer of '09. Even if TF2 makes more money.
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If you need proof of that theory you only need to look at the AICN bannner at the top of this site for Teansformers R.O.T.F
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Was ticklish...He gave him a couple of TESTIC(K)LES!!!
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Because obviously that hack Bay hasn't innovated any film techniques, he's just recycled the same crap Tony Scott did slightly better.
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it ain't sellin' out. Go to movietickets.com or fandango.com, go to the wednesday june 24th showing for the amc empire 25 at movietickets an the loews lincoln square at fandango, look at the showtimes for wednesday. Only ONE showing at both theaters for tomorrow is sold out, and that's at the empire. Fuck outta here with this "it's sold out" shit. Anyone can sell out a midnight showing. That ain't nothing. This movie is getting worse reviews,by FAR than the first one. I ordered tickets for both theaters, but I downlaoded it and saw it last night. It's draining. It's depressing. I'm going to enw york tomorrow just to cancel my tickets. If I had only known that I would have seen this shit in advance, and hated it, I never would have gone and ordered the tickets in the first place. Now I gotta go all teh way to NY,from philly, just because I ordered them, but unfortunately, not see the movie because that shit is every bit as fuckin' offensive as every review suggest.
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Has not made a bad film yet! Well, Pearl Harbor is the one exception!
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What the fuck were they thinking?
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deck in TF3.
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I'm going to feel like a huge dick when my friends try to get people together to see this once it's out, and I refuse and look like some kind of antisocial asshole.
Fuck it though... I didn't pay money to see Wolverine (saw the workprint and laughed at my roommate who cursed that piece of shit after going to see it), and hopefully I'm strong enough to resist going to watch it. The worst part would be sitting there while the mouth breathing window lickers lap up the shitty humor... -
Their relationship was VASTLY improved in this movie and was quite enjoyable to watch.
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From Box Office dot com
According to Paramount, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opened to $20 million from 846 locations in the UK and Japan.
The sequel was #1 in both territories, with the UK’s opening total of $14.1 million from 517 locations outperforming rival comic book sequel Spider-Man 2 by 18%, the original Transformers movie by 71% and coming within 3% of The Dark Knight weekend total. In Japan, the film’s gross of $5.8 million from 329 locations was 64% ahead of The Dark Knight, and only 13% behind Transformers which had the advantage of opening in Summer school holidays.
Might be the dumbest movie ever but it's still going to be the biggest of the year.
What most of us love in great movies is gone or only in small movies no one else sees. You just have to face it and get on with life. -
Sorry, The Rock is good for a late era Connery flick, but that's not saying much. The rest of his cannon is subpar. He makes JJ Abrams look like Truffaut.
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What exactly, is a "conceded" fuck?
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So, does Devastator teabag anyone?
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Very good Point! Metal Balls > Big Blue Dong. At least the Balls were meant to be funny!
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If the action isn't there it doesn't matter how much a person wants to defend it. That means its a FAILURE. I love Bad Boys 2. I know its not "coo" to say that but its got the most action set pieces in a movie I've ever seen. And the money spent is on screen. The first Transformers had some problems. And the Jazz character portrayal was terrible. But at least it had the action. My problem is racism without action is garbage. He has to deliver the action at the very least. And it sounds like Mass didn't think he succeeded with that. And all I've been hearing from Bay and his PR people is how much this one is supposed to be so much better action wise than the first one. Well, sounds like he didn't deliver on that so its probably only worth a cheap matinee ticket rather than the 15 bucks for Imax quality gold teeth.
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The other day I was talking with a friend of mine about "Wolverine" and "Transformers"It boiled down to the following in the conversation:Steph: "I don't get why you're so passionate about little changes to the characters or story, the movies were fun and good."
ME: "Well, what if you took a book like Mary Poppins. Made it into a movie where she lives in Guam and is a prostitute. It wouldn't exactly be Mary Poppins, would it?"Steph: "I get your point."Seriously, look for example a film/book translation like Mary Poppins. The character (like Optimus Prime or Wolverine) is liked by adults and children. Same with the film. It has a great translation from the novels to film, with respect of the source material, and is generally respectful of its audience (adults and children alike).Transformers has a great wealthy history beyond "a kid's toy" that has a ton of tragic elements, logos, pathos, and ethos well longer and more diverse then Shakespeare (for those of you who make the comparison).Just because something is looked at from the outside as "a child's toy" or "if it deals with a robot/scifi/outside of the box" doesn't mean it has to be mindless.Afterall, "The Hobbit" and "Lord of the Rings" were released as children's books. "Batman" was a comic book, a campy tv show, a cartoon, children's toys, etc...so why can't "Transformers" be more than a commercial and a toy?There is a history there, that has been establish. Why change it so drastically? Even my mother knew who Optimus Prime was before the first film came out. The Transformers have a basic and known story line and characterization.The problem is, is that everyone wants to see the robots...that's the draw...but the robots are not properly represented.Plus, did anyone learn from the catastrophy that was Jar Jar Binks? Now it's multiplied by two, make them ghetto (because aparently the "My Bad" generation of thuggery needs more representation in the media) because the ghetto crowd is what they're aiming for, and worst of all: Give them a sweet voice actor, Tom "SpongeBob Squarepants" Kenny. -
Like many of you, I'm the first guy to line up for the big movies - sometimes I even blow off work to see the ones I'm really excited about. But when I came out of "Transformers" a couple of Summers ago, I finally said, "I really am too old for this shit." A bad concept, executed poorly, that insults my intelligence at every level. If anything, I can thank "Transformers" for making me at least somewhat discerning! I will see none of the sequels.
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Well, a lot of times I question just how much screenwriters bring to the table in movies like this. You'll often hear people say "Oh, that wasn't in the original script" and things like that. I realize that this is all CGI and that a lot of people have to know that these characters will look and sound this way but I won't be so quick to blame Orci and Kurtzman. Bay doesn't get a pass though. I am not one to jump up and down and scream that something is racist but this damn sure sounds unfortunate.I think it's the not reading thing that totally pushes it out of bounds for me. I can let a lot slide but this has a lot going against it.
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"2001 is overrated"
FAIL -
The artists behind Xena Warrior Princess, The Legend of Zorro, Mission Impossible III, The Island, Transformers and Star Trek return to wow us with their plotting and wordplay.
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can anyone remember one line of dialogue from Star Trek?
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Bay loves to cram in a huge amount of unfunny comedy scenes in his action movies. The first Transformers might as well been called American Pie:Robot Camp.
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Agreed.
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Of course not, it's more like a subpar episode of Sanford and Son.
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We still have GI Joe coming to make this summer RULE!! [/sarcasm]
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Jun 23, 2009 1:37:44 PM CDT
Who the fuck cares when AVATAR is fucking our eyeballs in 2009?
by motoko kusanagi
nobody
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There are way too many pointless characters. Shia's mom is given more to do and she's VERY annoying. The attempts at humor are just LAME. Michael Bay is not a comedy director so why try?
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This sumemr needs a Dark knight or a sleeper hit like The Matrix to save it. What else is on the horizon? Jack shit except for GI JOE and Bruno which will be two of the biggest flops in history. Public Enemies and Inglorious Basterds will be too "talky" for the mouthbreathers.
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He didn't talk like anyone I knew.
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will own all. Jay Jay, Bayhem, Bratner, McShit and Wiseass will all be out of work come January 2010. These guys hire hacks to write drivel then shoot it like an MTV promo as quickly as possible and shit the results al over our screens.
Jim Cameron takes years writing and preparing his own projects, refusing to give an inch until his vision is 100% on screen. Can you see Cameron hiring a acouple of hacks like K&O? No. Not in a million years.
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Saw this last week, incredible. Real action filmmaking. I'm hoping for a miracle and that people actually turn up to see this at theaters.
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That's just silly talk. And I'll still see the film. The question mark for me is whether I'll pay money for a matinee ticket (AMC before noon) or I'll rent it from netflix.
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Looks like producer Spielberg might've had a hand in this. That was my biggest grip with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
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Second, to make a comparison between Dr. Manhattan and testicles on Transformers is irrelevant.The point of Dr. Manhattan making you "uncomfortable" for seeing a penis on paper or on a movie screen is the point. He represented everything that man-kind is lacking. In biblical reference, man didn't have shame before defying God. He was naked before that. Manhattan didn't give a shit...it wasn't even on his radar. It was testament to his character on another level. Being naked in a way defined the character and his differences to humanity.Balls on a Transformer is just juvenile and a cheap joke. This is a long stretch to "humanize" the robots, so that what, more gangstas can assoicate with them? Plus, why would any of them need "genitalia" to "reproduce" when the blown out of continutity "All-Spark" does the job for them?
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2001 overrated.2 months on can anyone remember....Star Trek?Are YOU serious?
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That's the flick I'm dying to see! Thanks for the reminder about that one. Bigelow definitely has talent. Loved Near Dark and Strange Days.
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would be about 4000% better if around 15 minutes was cut and Jar Jar was redubbed with a cool alien accent like Nien Nunb's and then subtitled in English. Come on George, do the right thing!
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Here are a list of some of my favorite movies, recent or otherwise
Old boy, let the right one in, No country for old men, Seven Samurai, The Seventh seal, Aguire, Lone wolf and cub series, Lord of the Rings, Dead man, The Third man, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring, Both Kill Bills, The Good, The Bad and the Wierd, the list goes on... i'd say that's pretty good taste, -
i'm seeign that instead this weekend. Fuck Bayformers Tizzle.
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Yeah, I don't know why Bay thinks he's so Goddamned funny. You could've shaved at least 40 minutes of corny ass bullshit out of the first movie. Fuckin' eliminate Turturro completely. I've always said that you could take RoboCop II, shave that down and make an excellent 45 minute film out of it. Transformers? An hour. This one sounds like maybe 20 minutes...
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Like I stated... the first one wasn't the greatest action movie I've ever seen. And I was a little disappointed the story wasn't told better, but I enjoyed it because it was "Transformers" on the big screen beating the hell out of one another. Was I disappointed in the long drawn out scenes with insignificant human actors? Yes. But I did think Shia was pretty good in his role. I can deal with him and even the other ridiculous characters if that is what I have to sit through to see 15-20 mins of "Robots in Disguise" beating the shyt out of each other in a movie! Maybe I'm easy to please, but I don't care. I enjoyed the first one and hopefully I'll enjoy this one too. I'll let you know come Monday. P.S. I really wish they would of kept Starscream's voice from the cartoon. Now that would of been awesome.
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It's the most serious film she's done. Very impressive. The audience I saw it with didn't move for two hours and burst into applause when the credits came on. You're in for a treat.
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That fratboy joke.
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Tell all your friends to go too! This movie deserves to make money!
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It's Frank Welker doing that deep, evil voice he's done in other things (like in Golden Child) but it doesn't have that electronic sound to it.
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When you make such an all-encompassing and divisive statement like "I have INCREDIBLE taste!". No one buys that around here.
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But yeah, without the electronic mod.
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Jun 23, 2009 1:46:39 PM CDT
I'll wait for a DVD-Screener to hit the net on this one...
by kenshiro_187
Also, Kurtzman & Orci are the biggest dickhead writers and are comparable with the dipshits who made that Meet The Spartans trash.
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I didn't say 2001 was overrated, another poster did. I think it's one of the 5 best films ever made.
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Seriously, I heard the Criterion release was a director's cut that pushed the movie past the 4 hour mark and that the audio commentary is an unleashed ego more destructive and massive than any Decepticon.I agree with Massa that Bay is one of the most influential directors of our time. That makes me sad. But I actually prefer any of his immitators because at least guys like Tony Scott know how to keep this popcorn fluff short and sweet. Bay seems to think he's making a David Lean movie or something.
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Yep, they got the same guy to do Soundwaves voice as on the cartoon, in the same way and Bay and company didn't treat the voice so he sound EXACTLY like The Claw from Inspector gadget. Also soundwave's face is weird. Why do they all need monster faces to be decepticons if it's a civil war? They are the same race, right?
Jetfire is like a Pirates of the carribean style character. For such and old robot his vehicle mode is pretty modern.
The twins are dumb, but they have a couple of good one liners and can actually fight a little bit. Still, they shouldn't have been the main transformer prescence in the movie. I mean that's just unspeakably fucking stupid. Stick them on the poster with their stupid faces.
Too much stupid comedy with shea's mother, but his dad is good and add a little drama later on at least.
Optimus is tough this time. Very tough. Remember the first when he said 'forgive me brother, I had no choice' after being beaten up and saved by the beef? Well he's not taking shit this time.
Devastator turns up with little fanfare, and just looks junky with huge gonads. A dissapointment for sure.
Tutoro is much better this time round, a much more fun character to watch.
The multinational transformer/human task force NEST is a great idea (that I hoped they would do after the original), but aren't around much. I'd have much prefered a film about NEST, than the dumb comedy.
Don't get the point of Shia's tutor. It's just shoehorning in another comedic character. This movie has more side kids and comic relief than straight characters.
Zoom out a little, and STOP THE FUCKING-SHAKEY CAM!!!! Not just Bay, everyone, shakey-cam is the worst modern cinema trend around. Just fucking terrible. You can sort of make some stuff out, but I want to see everything.
Basically I had a good time, but it could have been a much better film, and thats a big shame.
Oh, and no character, especially Ironhide, should say 'punk ass decepticon' I cringed at that.
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Sorry, my bad. All is forgiven?
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Hilarious post. But I think that its entirely possible (dare I say it) that they made a calculated choice with the new Jar Jar type characters to play on the animosity that many in rural America feel now having our first black President. I mean lets be real...Is it a coincidence that that new Roland Emerich film has Danny Glover as the Black President on the eve of the END OF THE WORLD? Some subliminal messages coming out of Hollywood right now that don't feel right. But then again it could simply be old fashioned juvenile racism. Or they meant no harm at all and there simply have a bad sense of humor. I'll tell you one thing. I can laugh at racist jokes with the best of them. Smoochy for example has some of the funniest lines I've ever heard in my life. And they don't bother me. Why? Because Robin Williams is fucking hilarious in that film. Sounds like Bay's brand of humor doesn't work.
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Of course, I don't give a damn about Transformers, I've never seen the cartoons / games / toys / whatever the hell they first were, but I assume they were some form of a goofy promotional campaign from the 70s - so it's probably very good that it's being spoofed rather than taken into the moronic and pathetic "grim and gritty" direction that Batman VI began.
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No worries!
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That's why i said for the first time in my life i would be a conceded fuck, i actually admitted it:P
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Jun 23, 2009 1:53:09 PM CDT
And Shia's roommate has to be THE most pointless character
by indycollector
in the history of film. Not to mention very annoying. The only reason he's there is to freak out at everything.
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Spielberg was the CORE reason Indy 4 was terrible. I know people love hating on Lucas but War Of The Worlds was awful too and had similar problems. Spielberg hasn't been good for a long time. And I don't want to hear any responses from people telling me Munich was tight because lets not forget the wet slow mo shot of Eric Bana during love making. Not good.
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please don't give Bay that much credit.
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I can watch STRANGE DAYS or POINT BREAK any day.
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just so he wasn't contractually obligated to appear in this film?
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I totally agree. At the end of the day KOTCS was a Steven Spielberg film. People who want to blame Lucas for everything (which one thing we know you can blame him for is the alien concept), but then they forget Spielberg has been bringing lame stuff to his films since Always. I don't think George Lucas can be blamed for The Lost World!
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Jon Voight has no shame, hence he lives.
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Right, Mass?
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Wow. That's appalling really. Hollywood at its worst and most embarrassing. This is definitely one of the most disgusting displays of excess in Hollywood's history. Bay's obviously completely fucking clueless but Spielberg should know better. Fucking shameful. If I were involved with this film in any capacity I would be too ashamed to admit it. Dreadful. I love movies but this kind of shit leaves a bad taste in my mouth. In this day and age movies really are such a luxury and then something like this comes along and just completely takes the piss with unchecked ego and grotesque excess and just makes the whole industry look fucking shameless. I genuinely feel that, in every possible way, this film humiliates the artform of film-making. We're witnessing a low-point right now.
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http://i42.tinypic.com/33vgdo1.jpg -
thatd be a step in the right direction
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in Watchmen, do so because they found they couldn't take their eyes off it. They became obsessed with it, and therefore made them question their manhood. And that ascared them..
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I just think that 2012 is just trying to ride the coattails of an actual black president in office. I don't think it's racial, per se. Yeah, nevermind that every cinematic black president is around when it's the end of the world... lol... At least President Tiny Lister in The Fifth Element (the strangest casting of all time) didn't see the earth get blown up...
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In comparison to Paths of Glory. That's it.
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See Deep Impact.
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Just because a movie is made and marketed toward 14-year-old boys, it doesn't have to look like it was written by 14-year-old boys.
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...nothing, and I mean nothing, redeemable about this film. This piece of excrement is so terrible it can't even be lumped into the 'but it was a fun popcorn summer movie'. I guarantee that the vast majority of you will be completely disappointed by this, and you can't say that about many movies.
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I loved the first movie aswell, imported it from the states on HD-DVD as soon as it was available, its a great action movie that does exactly what it says on the tin. TF2 is "enjoyable" enough, i still got something out of it, but theres just so much wrong with it that you just cant forgive. The likes of RC, which i was dying to see is seen standing a couple of times, but mostly as a random blur, the only time you have time to digest what she looks like is a 2 second clip where she delivers her single line. Thats the kind of waste thats going on here, they design and cast a character that is completely throwaway. Starscream and Megatron are treated better than last time and they get more screentime than optimus. I did laugh, as did a lot of people in the theatre at a lot of the "jokes" but a lot of them fell flat, the twins were painful at times and bearable at other times. Theres just far better stories could have been told without sacrificing the action, build some characters, make the enemy and goal seem worthwhile, it was all a bit empty, exactly like terminator but at least it didnt take a dump over anything i hold dear moviewise.
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Here, here on Bigelow. Days is great and Break has some great heist sequences.
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Those were the Haysbert days.
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this was supposed to be cool? it came off more hollow and vapid than "cool". i cared more about a CLOUD in the short PARTLY CLOUDY than anything in transformers, and probably transformers 2...cant wait.
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I think he hates people in general. I bet he sits around and goes "people are fucking stupid, especially the black one's. But watch I'll make horrible racist movies and they will make bank. Just watch!" He made these movies to make a point about the US. Michael Bay is a hero. These movies are trying to prove how stupid movie goers really are and how they will watch and eat up anything. I applaud his efforts especially as he watches the weekend BO of 186 million and he will be laughing and then screaming "Those idiots! You are all my slaves now MWAH HA HA HA HA!!!" We must all bow down to Bay because he has proven that we all are indeed morons.
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Jun 23, 2009 2:03:40 PM CDT
I'd rather see the trainwrek that will be G.I. Joe at this point
by chudfucker
than get fucked again by T:ROTF...
just put out KICK-ASS already so the summer can be saved by at least ONE great movie@!#@!$#@ -
Give the robots character. Toy Story is about "toys" but Buzz and Woody are characters. Just because they're giant robots doesn't mean they have to be nothing more than CGI props.
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are used to having dong in their face.
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He had been here for hundreds of years blending in. He was probably a train back in the 1800s.
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David Palmer. RIP.
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Touche =).
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if you're not gonna use the correct voice...
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So, the makers of Deep Impact knew one day that a black man would be President too?
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i WAS gonna take him this weekend, but i think that coinstitues as child abuse.
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I'll be there tomorrow at noon.
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That's pretty good. Subtitles_Off. You will be suitably ripped off now.
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Whiggers have been around for a decade, is that any reason to put them front and centre of a movie like this?
When the bots from the first get such little screen time to facilitate a shitty joke, is that not a huge problem??
I enjoyed the first for what it was, but this is sounding worse and worse with every review. I just re-watched Predator, an olde- time popcorn movie, and at no time did I feel insulted for having watched it. Seven or eight different characters all established with minimal dialogue, characters you actually gave a shit about, great action that was visible for more than a second, and decent acting. Even Arnie managed a couple of different emotions. TF2 costs god-knows how many times the budget of Predator yet is a far less effective film. Why can't scripts be that effective now? Why must they be bloated yet anorexic at the same time - lots of stuff there, but zero that means a shit?
Fuck this film. -
Unless everyone speaks like a Anglo Americian!
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Re: the first movie, I still don't understand how 1) they had a black character introduce his mother as his "Mammy", and 2) how Bernie Mac agreed to even say that line. I mean, I watched a 35 year old Archie Bunker episode and he upset someone by saying "Mammy"!
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Than Transformer Pt.Deux.
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Proper spelling is not a sign of intelligence or lack thereof.
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what the fuck, I almost had a siezure reading that review. I figured this movie would be stupid, but man!
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Its not about that. Its the gold teeth and the "we don't read"
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I agree with Massaworm 100% I'm not a bay fan but I did like the the first Transformer alot. Everything he said in his review is spot on. I'll add though that as I was watching the film I found myself far more offended then maybe he did. Does Bay think that we are all sex crazed junior high minded total fuckwits that would get a kick out of turnning the next Transformers into a fucking embarassingly bad series of cock and fart jokes. was I watching Transformers or a Wayens brothers movie? Totally let down by the film.
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Zip a dee do da
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Believe what you wish, i am definitely not what you would call a true nerd, but i am definitely far from stupid.
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And Bay still sucks as bad as Bay.
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and lose all faith in humanity if this movie actually makes bank. This movie needs to fail, for all of our sakes!
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the symbols in the film. They're written in the language of the Primes, a FORGOTTEN LANGUAGE. It's stated in the film. If you think Mudflap and Skids are meant to be "black," it says more about you than it says about Bay.
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Lets not forget Near Dark. All the True Bloods and Twilights owe a tip of the hat to that classic.
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...Bay had to put BALLS ON DEVASTATOR!?!
I sure as hell aint gonna shell out any of my money to take a bite out of this shitburger. -
might as well huh?
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That was a hell of a scalding review.
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Pssh.
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Jun 23, 2009 2:37:36 PM CDT
RE: And Shia's roommate has to be THE most pointless character b
by moviegimp
You obviously haven't been paying attention to the viral site. That is where Leo comes from the real effing deal dot com. He is supposed to be annoying a freak out about everything because he is supposed to believe all this is real. It's actually a pretty funny site with some good real world robot linked stories. Besides the Transformers tie in stuff.
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Reread Massa's review, "They speak in clichéd urban slang, tossing around phrases like “I’m gonna pop a cap in your ass” while fist bumping and mumbling unintelligently in a voice that sounds like a bad Chappelle Show sketch. Then you get a close up. And they each have bug eyes and a gold tooth." No, I'm sure Bay meant any resemblence to urban blacks to be coincidental.
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This is what happens when you shell out $10 to see shit like Transformers. This is what happens when you embolden mongoloid hacks like Michael Bay. You get what you deserve.
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I don't think Bay himself understands that while he's a great director-for-hire -- he's simply not a very good filmmaker. The more creative input he has, the more ... "bad" the movie gets. But like I said, as a director working for others, he's rather good.
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Throw away your money folks! Help Mikey make his next piece of crap.
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...exactly what I would've said about the first one.
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The Joe Pesci Transformer tells us what you just did. But not until AFTER the illiterate space clowns tells us 'Yeah, uh, we're not what you'd call read-uhs." That line is delivered with a close up of the face showing off the gold tooth. Explain that one away.
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I seriously hope Vern reviews this, since he was the only one who was spot on with T1.
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"I still don't understand how 1) they had a black character introduce his mother as his "Mammy", and 2) how Bernie Mac agreed to even say that line. I mean, I watched a 35 year old Archie Bunker episode and he upset someone by saying "Mammy"!
He actually improvised that line. -
But a recent print ad for M & M's spells it out. Revealed as his "inner M&M", Bay's M & M figure is colored....purple. 'Nuff said.
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Directed by Michael Bay.
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That sums it up pretty well I think.
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Which will reign as the biggest shitfest of the summer?
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I sure hope no one decides to make one about STAR WARS. Imagine how bad THAT would suck!
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Jun 23, 2009 2:44:18 PM CDT
I wonder if this is better than Transmorphers: Fall of Man
by ihaveseeneveryepisodeofprisonbreak
From Asylum Films!
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I'm sure that's what we would get in a STAR WARS movie adaptation. No doubt about it.
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I'm not the only one, right?
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In the finale of Revenge of the Sith when he was on fire.
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...at least not in a financial sense. They will make back every dollar spent on it and then some. The trouble with people thinking this might be good is that they are forgetting NOTHING about Transformers the property is actually good, worthwhile, or intelligent. The whole concept is fucking stupid. Who cares if robots fight each other?
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that "Devastator Balls" is this year's "Nuke the Fridge"?
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Whichever wins. We all lose.
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"But now we’ve seen that. We’ve watched fifty foot robots beating the shit out of one another and now we’re ready for what’s next"
So true. I wanted Optimus to write that killer song that would unite the world in peace and serenade the Decepticons into an age of togetherness. They could have all formed a band. The Bandicons. It's where they should have taken this.
All I wanted from Transformers two was more 50 foot robots, more kicking the shot out of each other and more Megan Fox. It's true Bay over did it but the idea that this needed to become something else is wrong. -
Urban slang? Whatever. I was down with it in the first movie with Jazz. He learned to speak English watching Earth media. I can buy that. I really can. but a GOLD FUCKING TOOTH while relishing in ignorance? FUCK THAT! That is offensive people.
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and its not just us who've noticed it.
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I'm not sure what you know about this, but is Spielberg REALLY set on screening this for the Obamas??? What is the studio thinking here?
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. . . you just know that Transformers: Return of the Garbage will be slipping some rohypnol to your eyeballs in a couple of years.
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Jun 23, 2009 2:58:03 PM CDT
People who justify this shit should be used as fertilizer
by industrykiller!
I mean seriously what threshold of fucking horrible has to be breached before people actually start liking good genre films again?
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People are so touchy these days!
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Jun 23, 2009 3:01:51 PM CDT
Michael Bay is the worst big-budget director in Hollywood...
by pdorwick
...surely we can agree on something so self evident....and the first Transformers movie was utter garbage. Come on...
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And only black people can't read? Like I said, if you watch these two characters and immediately think "BLACK PEOPLE!" then you've got the problem. I think you're full of shit. My criticism of the film comes from too much bullshit with the parents and the military, but every time there's a giant fucking robot on the screen, it's magic. You sound like some kind of crotchety old man when you write that you couldn't tell what was going on. And again, if all you're thinking about after the film is imagined offenses and balls instead of robot fighting action, then that says a lot about you. I'm surprised you're not fixated on Turturro's man-thong, too.
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Harry in Home Alone did didn't he? And that's Joe Pesci(-tron).For all you know they could be based on Paul Wall.Seriously though, if you don't want people stereotyping your race then STOP HAVING EVERY 'CURRENT' BLACK MALE SHOW HIS 'GRILL' ON CD COVERS, MAGAZINES, VIDEO SHOOTS, PROMO POSTERS, MYSPACE ADS, MIXTAPES, HORRIBLY MADE STV DVD MOVIE COVERS AND WHATEVER ELSE THEY SLAP THEIR NAME ON!
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serves them right
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Well they are ROBOTS for one thing. They shouldn't even have teeth let alone one gold one. But if you think that's not a negative black stereotype you need to get real.
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the name of the robot is jopecion???
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What would you think if you saw a someone in black face and starting sputing ebonics? Would you think he was just a white guy who fell face first into some chocolate frosting and talking?
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total waste of time and money - it actually gave me a headache. Oh and don't get me onto the (lack of) logic in the film, it's farcical.
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Jun 23, 2009 3:05:53 PM CDT
Never made it through the first one, and I own the BluRay
by wickedjester
Wow, pretty cgi robots... then I lost interest about 1 and half hours into the 2 hour plus robo-orgy.
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when it started talking, the first thing that popped into my mind wasn't "Italian stereotype," it was "hey, is that Steve Buscemi?" It's neither actor, but there's that whole perspective thing, fucking with you.
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and watermelons in TF3, remember he's not being racist, you're being racist for making any sort of connection.
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I was never much of a Transformer fan to begin with so I am not surprised that this one was worse. All you have to look at is the Bad Boy movies to see that Bay likes to take the worst parts of the first movie and magnify them in the sequel.
The Bay movies I like most typically have good to great actors who realize they are in a movie devoid of any plot or soul and play it for fun. That is why I like the Rock so much. Sean Connery, Ed Harris, and David Morse rise above the material and Nicholas Cage decides to go over the top, but not too over the top like he can do like in movies like Con Air or Snake Eyes. I like the first Bad Boys more because of the chemistry between Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, and Tea Leoni more than the inane action. I even enjoyed Armageddon (yes, I am the one) because of Bruce Willis, Will Patton, Steve Buschemi, Billy Bob Thornton, etc. all knew they were in a crap movie and basically seemed to just have fun with their roles and their paper thin characters. Bay needs actors who can carry his crap movies and Transformers doesn't have that.
I still don't get the appeal of Shia LeBeuf. I am guessing if Speilberg didn't love the guy so much, he would be still doing crappy movies like Constantine. Megan Fox is as much eye candy as the Transformers themselves, maybe more so. I don't know if she can really act (I am guessing she can't) since all Bay asked her to do is look hot in the first movie. John Turturro is one of the more disapointing actors in recent years. He started with a very promising career when he worked with Spike Lee and the Coen Brothers, but seems to have become a characture of himself ever since associating with Adam Sandler. Josh Duhamel barely registered as a character in the first movie. Jon Voigt has also become a characture. -
You're really going to compare BLACK FACE to GOLD TEETH!? Don't you have an Al Sharpton rally to attend?
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I didn't, actually. Saw the first one on HBO. But I did shell out money to see Pearl Harbor, and boy did I regret that.
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Watching him scramble to come up with ridiculous reasons why an obvious racial stereotype isn't exactly what it is is sad and funny. Just ban this fuck and put him out of his misery like a lame horse.
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Means you're the one stereotyping... think about it.Gold teeth?Urban slang?Can't read?MUST BE A BLACK A GUY THEN!
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Did you guys all get to this point with your JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS mat?
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Way to not take on the question! Maybe I should ask if you're going to attend a Klan rally.
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Jetfire is an Irish stereotype! Not all old Irish men are cranky and walk with a shileighly, you know!
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Fair enough. I'll post my thoughts Monday here.
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Agree 100 percent.
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the amount of things people projected on to the Jar Jar character (and still do even 10 years on) is preposterous.
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wow.
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for the Rifftrax guys to tear this movie a new one. The only reason it should exist is to have the MST3K guys make fun of it. Other than that, like the first one, it's a retard test. If you think this movie is any good at all: you=retard. Get on the short bus and go run in the special olympics, you retard.
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What, did you two fucking write this piece of shit or something? It's fucking retarded, why are you defending this garbage?
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If the most interesting topic that comes from it is how racially insensitive it is.
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I noticed since the first movie I tell ya'
All that talk with the latino soldier that starts talking in spanish. ENGLISH! ENGLISH! Bay is a total Republicon. -
Welcome to Bolivia Autos, like the country but without the Runs.
The Bernie Mac character cheap, sleazy.
The other fat hacker guy with his momma and his fat cousin.
The movies are full of negative stereotypes, not just the robots. -
I dunno where the hell that came from.
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Don't you go all Ricky Riccardo on me MAAAANNNN!
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Just gave you a bunch. They're are a ton of idiotic WHITE rappers that fit that 'stereotype' too.Should I be offended because everyone assumes a robot talking 'wise' speak is Italian?No, because I don't walk around with my panties in a bunch like 80% of the world.And yea, me saying that it's their own fault for being stereotyped that way is the number one on the klan kommandment.Saying an illiterate with gold teeth, blood shot eyes and the insistence on talking like a street thug is automically black sounds a little more rascist to me.But what do I know...
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If they wanted to have a couple of caricature/stereotype robots, I can think of some shit that would have probably made me laugh: A couple of fratboy/meathead robots that speak in "bro-ism's". "Cool story bro, but reading's for sissies. Totally broheim, we don't go for that. You know what would be so cash, brosepholis? What brosephis? If we like, banged this guy's girlfriend on the hood of his yellow camero. Brotacular."
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Look at these comments: "It'll suck, but I'll still see it" "It'll be good for the robot carnage", or "I'm going to see it just to see how bad it is". News flash: Hollywood does not know nor does not care whether you see a movie ironically or for fifteen minutes of special effects and nothing else. It just wants your money. By giving them your money, you silently give consent to make more and crappier movies. You all are supposed to be the smarter filmgoers. Raise your standards. These movies have the same quality as the "____ Movie" franchises, except at least with those movies they couldn't feed a third-world nation for a decade with the budget.
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I'm not defending Bay at all. I won't be seeing this movie, probably at all.Just hate how everyone is so quick to throw the race card at everything.Can't the movie suck on it's own merits, not because it may or may not be Klan Propaganda?
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Flames on Optimus or balls on Devastator? Can we get an official ruling?
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Jun 23, 2009 3:23:35 PM CDT
They need a beat up pick up truck that transforms into a sombrer
by mitortilla
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if there was a beat-up pickup with a solid steel hayseed coming out of his mouth and spitting out gasoline chaw, you wouldn't say "How do I know that's a southern stereotype? How do I know he's not from New York?" Don't be a dick. Bay is a huge idiot, of course he's going to put hugely idiotic things in his movies.
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can't it be both?
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Huh??????
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No one is saying this movie sucks because of the stereotypes, they're saying the stereotypes are but one ingredient in the giant souffle of suck. Just out of curiosity, who did you vote for in '08? Be completely honest.
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for Massadouche to worship at its feet. And to think that I repected this jackass' reviews once. It's called TRANSFORMERS! What in the fuck is so hard for all of the haters to get through their heads about that? Have any of you who hate on these flicks even once watched a few episodes of the old cartoons? So many of you act like these flicks are supposed to be oscar contenders or drama fueled films with a few actions set pieces. They are MOVIES BASED ON A CARTOON PROPERTY THAT WERE CONCEIVED IN THE FIRST PLACE TO SELL FUCKING TOYS!!! If you can't have fun with these kinds of movies, perhaps you shouldn't be reviewing them. You loved the first one... uh huh. Now you seem surprised at more of the same. What a fucking douche. Go back to your lame ass no-one-fucking-cares tabletop gaming and leave the real fun to the rest of us. Please. Thank you.
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Most people slammed the first one, yet it still made money. Ebert loved the first one.
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I have known several Black People who had gold teeth. Nice guys too!! Why is that such a negative stereotype. Maybe it is based on a rapper, or hip hop artist of which MANY have gold teeth in real life. This is not Black Face, that I could see being offensive, but gold teeth, really? Did people get upset that C3P0 sounded like a nerdy WHITE professor? That is a sterotype as well, for another intentionally annoying character.
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has a gold tooth.
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Thank you!
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It's all the things combined. Thanks for playing.
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No, they got upset that C3PO was an effete homosexual sterotype.
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Thank you, ErnestBorgNine. The hip-hop slanging, illiterate robots with gold teeth are based on Jack Sparrow. Whew.
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I have not seen it yet, so cannot say much about it, but I just think the pointing out of the gold tooth is silly! Thanks.
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Jun 23, 2009 3:34:47 PM CDT
Can't it suck for sucking sake and suck for being racist too?
by mitortilla
If the brobots would've at least be funny we wouldn't be here.
I'll say it again, I don't easily get offended as you might have noticed by my sense of humor, but I did notice some stuff from the first film against latinos specially.
And just google "racist" "transformers" there's a lot of blacklash from the black community. -
When are white men going to take this country back? Who's with me, ErnestBorgNine, WickedJester and IHaveSeenEveryEpisodeOfPrisonBre ak?
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But I wouldn't call him a gay stereotype. Now if he told Luke that he looked fabulous and walked around with a limp wrist, that'd be a different story.
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I am with you!!!
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"The worst summer in recent memory continues as Michael Bay brings his slow push-ins and Lazy Susan dolly shots back to the cineplex with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (hereafter Transformers 2), the ugliest, most hateful, most simple-minded and incomprehensible assault on art and decency since the last Michael Bay movie. It's bad (that goes without saying), and it's possible that even its fans will have the brute sense to recognize that it's bad--but it's bad in such a way that defies easy description. It's so bad, it's exasperating. The action, as you'd expect, is impossible to follow, with long stretches cascading in on one another without the slightest notion of who's winning, where, and to what end."
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Jun 23, 2009 3:38:43 PM CDT
And it's okay for Harry to use the word "honeychild"...
by ernestborgnine
and claim his favorite film of all time is "Song of the South," but Bay puts a couple of questionable characters in his movie and it's a hate crime? I admit that Mudflap and Skids are goofy, questionable and uncool, but racist? Sorry, but after actually seeing the film, unlike the majority of you, that wasn't what stuck with me. It was more the action, the special effects and the slow-motion Megan Fox running.
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Actually, I found the more than obvious caricatures uncomfortable. It was the two friends I attended the film with who were REALLY offended.
I wonder. If I mention that those friends are black, does that make me a racist? -
So you just laughed at the Sambots. I get it now.
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Why can't you have fun at a good movie? What, because something has a ridiculous premise it has to be shitty? And anyone that hates it are just mean, bitter haters? The first "Godzilla", "King Kong" and "Pirates Of The Caribbean" had crazy premises, yet they were quality movies. Don't hate on people with higher standards and IQs than yourself. Be happy watching dumb shit and fucking fat chicks, then. Don't bother the rest of us.
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until I saw the three crows from Dumbo landing on optimus prime and started talking 'jive.
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Jun 23, 2009 3:41:42 PM CDT
If many of you don't know about the rampant racism on this site.
by jacklucas
you probably haven't been coming here very often.
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Goes with my suggestion of having fratboy robots who use the word "bro" a whole bunch. I haven't seen these things yet, just making a suggestion for what would have been more comical than the jar jar throwback they apparently went with instead. My idea would have been totally cash, bro. I'm pretty sure this movie sucks for sucking sake, but Bay's idiotic attempts at humor seem to be a root cause. Of course, I'm sure many audiences will guffaw at the dumb shit he puts on screen.
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And I thought the hate for Indy 4 was weird...
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We're all meeting at the burning lower cross "t". I'll bring the razors, you bring your copy of "Mein Kampf"!
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Wesa racist stereotypes. That's why you no liking us meesa thinks.
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Thing is, that makes it so much harder for most fans to remember to pick it back up again.
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Al Jolson.
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Cause just one minute of him was unbearable in the first film.
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I hope you're reading this Mr. Bay... put it in part 3!!! GO FOR BROKE.
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...requires you to take your brain out to watch it, and one that requires you to stomp on it a couple times before putting it back in. Guess which one this is.
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My guess is that he could have overridden anything Bay was doing but just didn't give a shit about a property he supposedly "loves". Just lame.
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Massawyrm is 100% right! I saw this shitpile of a movie last night and I walked out speechless. I really liked the first movie and I wanted to love this one...Sadly that was not the case. It seems like Michael Bay thought he could get away with throwing in every single sequel cliche and get away with it...He does not! This movie was solely an exercise in inflating Bay's already enormous ego. He even has Shia painting on a BAD BOYS II poster for Fucks Sake! I mean how self indulgent can you possibly be? and why BAD BOYS II. is it because he knows people are gonna hate this movie as much as they hated the Bad Boys sequel and this is his way of trying to suggest, "Hey this was all done on purpose, I was trying to show the audience that if I just spend 2 1/2 hours blowing shit up people will still love it! No matter how incomprehensible or mindnumbingly dull EVERY single character is!" I think he brings in something like 20 new decepticons and 6 new autobots and we never get a sense of who the hell these characters are and what purpose they serve. And lets not forget the glaring plot holes. I'm not gonna get into spoilers but to give you an idea of how little they thought through this movie Lets think for a second...Motorcycle autobots...awesome. Motorcycle autobots in a desert...fucking brain dead. When has anyone...EVER seen a motorcycle work in sand? Saying they are magical alien motorcycle tires is not an excuse...
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THE SPIRIT.
I'M STILL PISSED AT THAT MOVIE WEEKS LATER AND WE FAST-FWD'D THROUGH 75% OF IT. -
you know, I started tapping out a well rounded and fair response to your failed attempt at a personal jab. Then I saw that you included GODZILLA as an example of cinephiles such as yourself having higher standards and IQ's. Decided it would be better to just go on living my life and ignore you.
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I don't think you're a racist and I never claimed you were. I didn't have the same reaction to the characters as you did, that's all. And I guaran-goddamn-tee you that I am more liberal than you are. I just pointed out that NONE of the Transformers can read the symbols, not just Mudflap and Skids.
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That guy just makes friends everywhere he goes.
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you'll love Transformers 2!
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You=retard. See my previous post. Thanks for pointing yourself out. Someone will be by your house to chop off your balls to make sure you don't breed. Ever. Thanks and have a good day.
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Ye gods, whatta meesa sayin'?
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Hey, I like the 1950s "Godzilla". Did I give you credit in assuming you knew I meant the original Japanese movie and not the 1990s American one?
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Not Obama.I wasn't saying the movie can't suck AND have racial motivations behind it, I was just saying I'm not defending the movie. If it sucks, it sucks. Not necessarily BECAUSE of the racism.I just can't imagine being offended by a cgi robot or cgi star wars character.Even if he was using one hand to beat his wife with a salami while guzzling beer in his other, with an Italian and Irish flag tatoo on his back.But, like I said, I'm not part of the Panties in a bunch group.
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3. mud flap 24 up, 20 down love it hate it
a racial slur for a really dark african american
that mud flap stole my bike!
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It really sucks to read these reviews on all these sites every summer. EVERY summer movie gets slammed. Pirates. Star Wars. Every big franchise always gets slammed. It gets old. When Avatar gets its first bad review, I won't be surprised.
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David Duke jokes? Really?
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3. Skid 88 up, 53 down love it hate it
Brown shit stains on a pair of briefs, or a person who is discovered with(or suspected of having) said marks. -
what part of "goofy, questionable and uncool" means I laughed at them?
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Megan Fox is hot. All women should look like that. Linkin Park is a great band, better than the Stones by far. When special effects are on the screen, I clap my hands and smile because it makes me happy.
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How wude!
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I found an obnoxious racial stereotype disconcerting and uncomfortable and you seem perfectly fine with it. What does that say?
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They weren't aparently spending enough on pr for his liking. Maybe they realized he made a steaming pile of shit and cut their losses
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don't promise me things that you can't deliver on. I would LOVE a free vasectomy! Will you take my two sons as well so that they can be raised by such stellar acheiving individuals such as yourself? I mean, as proud as your parents most likely are to have such a discerning and upstanding young woman such as yourself as a daughter, I'm sure you would make a wonderful mother. I'll pack their shit. What time will you be here?
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I'm not surprised. You're probably a white Republican. I'm not saying you're a racist. I don't know you. I will say that you're unaware of stereotyping and ignorance that pervades society. That doesn't mean that whites can never tell jokes about blacks. Anything is fair game, but you have to man up and admit it. Those bots are clearly meant to be black, and if there were robots such as a Suzukibot good at karate and a Pintobot with a metal sombrero, it would be just as ridiculous. Plus, it's just lazy and stupid. Like Michael Bay's movies, and the people that like them.
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My god, if I was a critic, I swear sometimes I would just give some movies the "what the hell is this movie" rating. This sounds like it would get one of those. Jazz was pretty much a racial stereotype in the first one (at least a lot of people thought so) with his break dancing and hip hop lingo. Now it sounds like he "tested" well so they amped up that aspect of things. But beyond that I don't like the idea of having the previous robot "stars" on the bench. I mean make it about the characters we know. Oh well, who cares I'll probably wait for cable for this thing. And I also agree that this summer is a huge disappointment movie wise. Star Trek was probably the best and that was a reboot of an almost 50 year old story so really how original was that? And unfortunately, Public Enemies is getting luke warm reviews from what I've seen. On to The Hurt Locker for me I guess.
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I was going to say this movie is review-proof and that I would see it no matter what, but now.. geez. You highlighlighted some of the things I disliked about the first one and told me its actually worse now. You definitely dampened my enthusiasm.
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Here comes the cure for AIDS, everybody! Maybe the other one will invent cars that run on water, or make awesome kick-ass movies like Michael Bay!!!
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It's a longo taleo buta small part of it would be mesa... racist stereotype. Yeah, yousa might'n be sayin dat.
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The question is not so much is Bay a racist, but why are these stupid moments in the film? From all accounts they dominate throughout the run time. I think the problem is that you've got a director that has total contempt for the film he's doing, so he's just putting as much stupid off topic stuff in there to stroke his own agenda. Thinking back to the first movie, it spent way too much time with stupid teen movie antics, and barely any on the action/sci-fi stuff. I mentioned Toy Story in an above post and I'll mention it again. Imagine if the focus of the first Toy Story wasn't Buzz and Woody, but the kid who owns Buzz and Woody. That alternate version of Toy Story is how these Transformers films play out. It's like Bay is making a dumb teen coming of age sex comedy that just happens to have Transforming robots in it. If Bay stuck with the actual Transformers concept, people would'nt spend so much time over analyzing his lame (and racially questionable) comedy that seems to dominate these films.
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If you had a transformer turn into a smaller car, fought like it was good at martial arts and spoke in pidgin English, would you say you could correctly assume that it was supposed to represent Asians?
If you had a transformer turn into a BMW, is militant and salutes Megatron like he was a Nazi, could you assume it is supposed to represent Germans.
And if you had a transformer turn into a pink car, had it talk with a lisp and complain about the others transformers color schemes could you assume it is supposed to represents homosexuals?
So I think there is nothing wrong with people assuming the two twins represent black urban youth.
The second part, however, is that wrong? We are becoming a post race world (well, everywhere but here at AICN) so is the film making a racist joke on black stereotypes or are they make a legitimate criticism and joke at the expense of hip-hop/urban culture, which they might not like? Is it them channeling David Dukes or them channeling Chris Rock and his criticism of those who are "Keeping it real...real stupid!" I haven't seen the film but it is a valid question. -
Ill never visit this website again. Fuck Bay, Fuck Spielberg, Fuck the sheep who see this shit, and Fuck to two hack writers. Transformers fucking suck anyway. Why you think they waited 25 years to make a fucking movie cause no one gives a shit.
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Is the guy who last week had an avatar of himself nailed to a cross with an IV of Dr. Pepper really about to try to teach me whats offensive?If your friends were offended, they're a bunch of pussies and should stick to 'safe' material like UP! to ensure they don't leave any movie without a smile on their faceMy original point was (before I suddenly got twisted into the Grand Wizard of the TB), if someone lays the dots out there and YOU connect them, you're calling the kettle -- no pun intended -- black.Short haircut.FemaleGym TeacherDid you automatically think lesbian?I intended the character to be a neo-nazi that lives with her very straight punk-rock skater boyfriend.Guess you're misinterpretationmakes me a homophobe now.I'm not even going as far as to say that Bay wasn't intending to be a bigot, what do I know, I wasn't there writing it. But as usual, everyone throws the race card so automatically now, it's truely amazing.This whole thing has me rolling my eyes so much I can't even remember what the hell I was talking about anymore.
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Really good post.
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I guess i really can't pass judgment until i see the film. Hey here is a thought, totally off subject matter, but for some reason it popped in my brain so here it is, The Hobbit...sure the subject matter isn't quite as good as Lord of the rings but who else here thinks the movies will be better than The Lord of the rings movies?
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Shit, that movie was ALL racial stereotyping. Yet. Critics missed that one.
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it's cool to see my name in the black box! Thank's Massa! Made my day... now I have to go meet TheJokesOnus.
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Unless Michael Bay wanted us to be debating whether or not characters in the flick are black stereotypes, he fucked up. Because last time I checked, I thought he wanted us to come out of the theater having had a good time watching robots fight and talk about cool action sequences.Apparently, the action scenes just aren't more memorable than two characters' dialogue that's only memorable for sucking. So Michael Bay fucked up the film. It happens.Sorry, world!
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would completely apply if the movie was completely animated. This is the only franchise I know of where the title characters are completely CGI in a live action format. It puts barriers on screen time.
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Nice, well thought out post. What the hell are you doing here? :-P
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You mean Shia Lebouf and Megan Fox are real? I get your point. Maybe it should've stayed animated.
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it's an awful movie.
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"If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination."
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one can only dream. Oh, and for the record... I can't fucking stand about 80% of what Bay has put out up to this point. I just recognize these TF flicks for what they are and enjoy the fact that I can geek out a bit with my kids the way I did when I watched the toons and collected the toys back in the day. Yes, they have stupid shit in them. Yes, Bay doesn't seem to have anyone checking him on his shit and so we have to wiggle past a lot of the fart jokes and horseshit to get to the cool. But I just can't help but laugh at the number of people who get SO up in arms over these things. I understand that this is a film lovers site. What gets me is that most of us can't seem to get past the fact that at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. So I feel it's OK to laugh at a dick joke here and there or at a robot humping a chick's leg. I used to be one of you vehement "this isn't good in the sense of what I personally believe is good so fuck it and fuck anyone who thinks differently than I do" types of TalkBacker fuckwads back when I first started coming here in '98. So I understand the mentality. I do. I just know, or at least hope, that one day you guys who get so fucking angry about this kind of thing will realize how petty it is and be able to sit back and giggle a little at Jar Jar for what he is. Or these "Sambots". Or any other number of dumb humor spots in what might otherwise actually be a fun summer film. That's all. Oh, and fuck you and your fucking mother. Go eat shit and watch your Kubrick films you elitest snob cunts. I am better than all of you. Thanks.
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I will say that that example was used exactly by Michael Scott in an episode on "The Office" about racism. When your logic is dovetailing into a character such as Michael Scott... it's not looking too good for you, my man.
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by having a 13 year old kid write the screenplay, instead of those chumps Orci & Kurtzman. Those priveleged motherfuckers probably got stoned one evening and threw that piece of crap together in a couple of hours, messing it up on purpose, then laughing their asses off while they pull one over on the studio, and especially the audience. What greedy jerks.
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Samuel Fulmer
"You mean Shia Lebouf and Megan Fox are real? I get your point. Maybe it should've stayed animated." I'll bet a future iteration of these movies will take that route. -
The guy who posted an unsolicited, fan-drawn picture of himself, mocking his beliefs, drink choice and addiction is EXACTLY the kind of guy who knows what offensive is. I not only let people mock me - I celebrate it.
And your Gym teacher wouldn't strike me as a lesbian. But if she ran around the whole film slapping girls asses, commenting on the perkiness and size of girl's breasts and made jokes about carpet getting caught in her teeth - you could hardly blame me for connecting the dots. Enjoy the pointy wizards hat. That's gotta be the best part of the job. -
Jun 23, 2009 4:11:56 PM CDT
GI Joe will be better. Can you just imagine if that happens?
by ash talon
TF2 will open huge. And bad word-of-mouth will destroy it. Although, next weekend is a holiday weekend which will help. This movie will drop like rock, though. Just like Wolverine.
I'm hoping GI Joe actually turns out to be the surprise hit of the summer. The one movie everyone is writing off. If it's actually good, it could take everyone by surprise and actually have some legs. It'll have the entire month of August all to itself.
And then the circle of life will be complete. The wannabe-Sommers will have usurped his mentor Bay. Like one Sith killing another and taking his place. -
I'm in NO WAY, unaware of it. I was saying that if it was so offensive, then the people offended should start petitioning THEIR OWN PEOPLE to stop REPRESENTING THEMSELVES THAT WAY.To be offended by something that is so prevelant EVERYWHERE - BET,MTV, fuck even VH1 puts Lil' Wayne on now! - is just ridicilous.I know I don't know prejudice (except maybe when I was like 6 and asthmatic I didn't get picked very high in sports), I wouldn't dare to pretend to.But the people who are all ready to organize a march on Bay's house are more than likely the same people that would laugh at the stereotype if it was in a Tyler Perry show/movie, or if (as mentioned) Chris Rock was doing it.Fuck, wasn't this an episode of The Office (US) now that I think about it!?
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Garbage Pail Kids comes to mind.
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...that an animated from from 1987 nailed the property so much better?
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Jun 23, 2009 4:13:45 PM CDT
Skids and Mudflap refer to Leo, the Latino college student playe
by mitortilla
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WickedJester: Sure, let's judge the movie on its merits. This movie features a couple of clearly bigoted stereotypes of blacks as prominent characters. That's a pretty big merit to judge it on. It's one thing to make a character that sounds black (get a black guy to do the voice!), but why go out of your way to make these characters so stereotypically "street"? Is this choice implying that Prime and others are "white"? Seriously, put yourself in the shoes of Massawyrm's black friends. There's racial humor, and then there's crude, dehumanizing stereotypes.
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Skids and Mudflap refer to Leo, the Latino college student played by Ramon Rodriguez, as a “shrimp taco.”
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that perhaps Jar-Jar and the "cheesy" autobots were put into the movies for kids? OMG... don't feed the kids!! ...lol. Learn to ignore!
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Way to hold it down! Celebrate fast food, minimalls and getting her done! America needs a few heroes, and JackLucas has answered the call. Can you?
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this is the best movei ever made ,so shut fuck up about it then !i dont care if is racist becase im white and so are most peeple so whats problem then ?is awsome movie with best, specail affects ever saw in a movie before in my life and micjheal bay is best directing and this movie make you love usa and also make you t hink about 9/11 and you are not patroit if you dont see it then !peeple shold shut fuck up about racist stuff becase it dosnt matter if you are white person does it so just go to see best moive ever made and shut fuck up and stop saying these things then !micheal bay is best directing in world and you are fag if you disagre .!i see it in england wehn im visits my dad and i only person who cheer at the end and all of england fags walk out and not cheeering !becase they jealus of coarse !becase usa is best counrty and tramsormers 2 is best movie ever saw in my life so go to see it then !
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What are your thoughts regarding the allegations of racism in the new film? As one of the screenwriters, is it something you are concerned about and would like to address?
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I mean the biggest hits last year were about PLOT and CHARACTER. Dark Knight, Iron Man, Kung-Fu Panda, Wall*E, even Quantum, they all were about character. Hulk and Get Smart might not have been GREAT but they were both character based. This year outside of Star Trek and Up it's all about loud clanging action. The "sure bets" of Wolverine, Transformers, and Terminator seemed to forget that you actually have to make the viewer care about the characters for the action to have any effect at all.
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is this petergrifin serious or satire? I honestly can't fucking tell at this point.
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... how many millions of retarded people there are in the world. All the people who are actually gonna go watch this ultimate epic absolute piece of stinking smoking shit. Michael Bay MAKES SHIT. He can't film shit, can't tell shit, and certainly can't compose a fucking orchestra of mayhem as Massa said. The guy is probably one of the most arrogant pricks in Hollywood right now, is the most unlikable director I ever heard in an interview, his films are unwatchable, his action sequences are unreadable and migraine inducing, and still, the guy keeps making movies because you motherfuckers keep giving him your hard-earned money. I don't know if I hate you guys more, or the Bay himself.
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"oh, I hate Transformers, but I love Evil Dead." Fuck that
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than that makes it a fucking hilarious inside joke. But otherwise, yeah, hated the first film, this one looks the same.
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Call it that and get it over with, Mikey, you racist prick.
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http://tinyurl.com/nsf5qp
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"What are your thoughts regarding the allegations of racism in the new film? As one of the screenwriters, is it something you are concerned about and would like to address?" Would like to address the issue. Now is probably not the time to make any general statement, but am happy to answer specific questions if I can.
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Yeah, that makes it better, the fact that they're meant for kids. Like Ku Klux Klam.
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I'm done. Any point other than the ones that peg Bay as the new Hitler are going to be labled racist.I don't consider myself one, but what as long as the TBers say so, it must be true.And Massa, guess I didn't quite get your point. You encourage mocking? Just as long as it fits who you are with for the day? Isn't racism treating one race different than another? So White Catholics are joke fodder, but black rappers aren't because they're (wait for it) black?The way you're acting you would've thought Optimus was whipping these robots with jumper cables as they sang 'Swing low sweet chariot...'I'm not a racist, I hate everyone equally.
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You just don't know how to have fun, lol! This is a great movie, lmfao! Anyone who says "lol" is a preteen girl, roflmaobbq420.
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So why can't someone rip it and torrent it already so we don't have to support it with money?
Wolverine anyone? -
...and jump.
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Detroit Free Press:"In a bit that could be accused of veiled racism, two of them have gold teeth, profess to be illiterate and speak a version of jive that must date back to "Starsky & Hutch."
AP:"The only robots with any discernible personality traits, aside from bravery or antagonism, are the Autobot twins, Mudflap and Skids. These are shockingly crass and unfortunate black stereotypes, jive-talking fools who can't read and bumble their way from one mishap to the next. They are Jar Jar Binks in car form."New York Daily News:"One sounds like Steve Buscemi, two others are offensive Amos 'n' Andy-style carbots,"And thats just a small sample. I'm sure these professional critics missed Bay's subtlety... -
Jun 23, 2009 4:34:07 PM CDT
I just don't know too many straight grown men using "lol"...
by thejokesonus
I apologize if there are any out there.
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Jun 23, 2009 4:35:04 PM CDT
Yes. Mr. McMahon has passed. Only 1 site is covering it.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
http://tinyurl.com/mzr9k6
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Snoooooze. All the writers on this site are either over-the-top with their praise, or over-the-top with their HaterAde. I don't believe anyone takes them seriously, anymore. If they ever did. It's always kind of a joke when you see their name(s? Cause really they only print that big, very corny but loveable, name Harry) in a movie advertisement. Cause their not considered real critics. Just fanboys. And their very stingy fanboydom, at that. They spew vile hatred all over anything that doesn't meet their prissy sensibilities. It seems to me, they're missing the point of the passions that brought them to start this website in the first place. Why can't you just love something for what it is? Why can't you find the good in something, as well as the bad? Why does everything have to rule or suck? Are we in junior high, or something? People work realy hard on films. A lot of planning and preparation. Things don't always go right on the day of the shoot. Money isn't easy to find, or limitless. Contrary to popular belief. A final film is rarely perfect. So, can't you find what they were doing right and build on that? Why all this pisssy moaning and groaning?! It makes coming to this site a trying experience. Wading through your tantrums to find nuggets of movie gold (which is why I keep coming back). All this bitching just seems counter intuitive and counter productive. It's like politics on the national scene. It's so divisive that nothing gets done. Is that what you want from life? A nation divided?! How can you make great movies when all you see is negatives? It makes optimistic and big picture people, such as myself, feel as though we're pushing that damn bolder up that damn mountain...
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This had been the first review I read that suggested the 'blatant' racism.My points still stand, though.Guess I'm just not the offended type.Except TheJokesOnUs now infering I'm a non-straight grown male or a straight 11 year old girl.
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Sad. I guess they'd rather show videos of squirrels doing tricks.
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I am convinced he is the Andy Kaufman of AICN. A comedian who never winks or lets you know it is a joke.
Either that or someone who should increase the dosage of his meds. -
Jun 23, 2009 4:37:35 PM CDT
JacksonsPole -- your post was long and boring....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I got 6 rows down and said no fucking way am I gonna continue reading what this douche bag has to say. You and your whole bloodline could die tomorrow and I could give a fuck.
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You'd think McMahon would get a mention. Just think, he and Phil Hartman are dueling McMahon's in heaven as we speak...
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Dude, if you can't even spell "conceited," then you're not exactly someone whose word holds a lot of weight with me.
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Completely stopped reading your reviews as they are completely worthless and your taste in movies is terrible.
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Jun 23, 2009 4:40:14 PM CDT
Messy & ugly Transformers = too exspiseive = less screen time
by trannyformers_apologist
This what happens when the director hate the source material
Well maybe if Bay didn't fuck up the designs by giving the transformers 50,000 different parts they would not have been so expensive..... If the Transformer's designs were not so EXPENSIVE they could have had more scene time..... If the designs weren't so messy and ugly then maybe people could tell what the fuck they are looking at.
Nobody wanted a blocky cartoon look... Bay shits on everything he touches.....What no middle ground between Bays scrap metal shit piles and the cartoon .... what a waste. -
I got similarly bored and had to pull away. Nothing like someone who rarely reads the site giving informed critique...someone give me a heads up if he actually had something of merit to say.
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That's all I have to say.
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nope sorry I'm all out of summer movie $$$.. might check it out on netflix though..
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Would you stop by to flap your gums? Move along and let the big kids continue their conversation.
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"So White Catholics are joke fodder, but black rappers aren't because they're (wait for it) black?" Nice straw man. Ugly stereotypes are ugly stereotypes, no matter what. Mexican, Irish, Polish, Black, etc. Check out the AP reviewer's point. Why do the only robots with any kind of personality in this movie happen to be the ones that are blatant black stereotypes? On top of being ridiculously racist, it's lazy and stupid.
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I'm from New Zealand, so have no real perspective on what makes people so hateful towards each other in the states based on colour.
I will say this though. I'm shocked that a reviewer is calling two guys racist simply because they watched something and looked past what may or may not have been racial stereotyping. Calling someone that is one of the most hateful things you can say and I note they are not calling you racist. Jester pointed out your drawing trying to say you were being relatively hypocritical. I don't care if your right or wrong on this stereotyping issue. These guys are not necessarily racist and you should not rush to calling them as such. Take the higher ground and maybe say, "Ok, we disagree, I've made my feelings clear". Or something like that. You are spewing venom and to be honest I don't expect you to have any level of grace to back off a bit, but if you do you'll be the bigger man. -
How am I not for progression? I want to get OVER this shit.Don't want shit like this to happen? Stop stuffing the representatives of said racial stereotype in people's faces everywhere they go.Can I be mad that a wise-cracking italian is automatically a mobster? No because the only things that have come out with Italians are either Mobster movies or... Rocky.Can I be mad that most people consider Irish people drunks? No, because St. Patrick's Day happens every year!I can poke fun at my heritage too.
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Just a rambling cunt. If you're gonna be a cunt...FINE. But at least make it concise for fuck's sake.
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Jun 23, 2009 4:47:33 PM CDT
But DGDB... If it was 'rambling", then by definition...
by zombieheathledger
it isn't 'concise,' no?
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Jun 23, 2009 4:48:05 PM CDT
Massawyrm..since AICN doesn't have a McMahon story...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....up. Feel free to link to ours. http://tinyurl.com/mzr9k6
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whether he knows it, or not. that sh*t is hilarious comedy.
oh, and as for the racist stamp, i haven't seen the flick. not gonna comment. but, i will say, the last film had three black guys who were computer geniuses. They helped save the world. Kinda not racist. Also, the cartoon had black charicatures. I dunno. I have a hard time buying that the characters were meant as racist. People are just so damn sensitive these days. But, I could be wrong. As I said. Haven't seen flick... -
Massa (and everyone for that matter), I apologize if you took my comments as me supporting the Klan, but that was not my intention. In fact, I started it off as a joke -- that white guys can't have gold teeth? -- and it suddenly turned into this.We're not about to solve the race issue here on this TB, nor do I think that it was anyone's intention to try. If your friends were offended, I can't say I understand that, but I'm not in their shoes, skin, whatever.I have friends (of color) on both sides of that fence, some laugh til they pee -- others want to storm out when presented with such material. I understand everyone's point and if it is that blatant of a racial offense, than it's unfortuntate that it will be seen by millions of people a million times.Just because I do not get offended by such material that may jab at my religion, race, heritage, whatever doesn't mean other do not have the right to be.
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They will ALWAYS defend any depiction of non-whites in a negative light and NEVER chalk it up to or as bigotry. EVER. Even though, obviously, Masswyrm and Devin Faraci and alot of other reviewers are white, but I mean the talkbackers at this site an others. You whites odn't quit/ You never quit. This "IS" the example they use when they talk about something so blatantly offensive that not even the most...WHITEST white person can defend it. It's like, the fuck do they have to do to offend you guys? Seriously, I downloaded it yesterday, (and am going to New York to get my money back) and it's every bit as bad as people say. But of course the WHITES will never point out how offensive that shit is. So. Fucking. PreDICTABLE!
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"From a certain point of view." heh heh. Just to play devil's advocate, from what point of view can one be both rambling AND concise? Just askin'.
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My god. My. God.
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not even Megan Fox's It-Girl ass cheeks hanging outta her cut-offs can save this one. Wasn't gonna see it, and now even less so. Thanks, Massa.
"You da cow..."
"Naww, you da cow!"
"Hey, Disney gets us!" -
I'm outraged that you spelt my surname wrong, just because of Allan Iverson. Don't stereotype me! Just kidding, but thats almost how knee jerk this has been. Anyhow, who says it's a negative stereotype to have a gold tooth and speak like a rapper? These guys make big money, so I'd call it positive. We're all different, let's not get too hung up on it.
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Actually, if you go back and read the thread you'll note that I never call anyone racist. In fact the word Racist never appears in the review. What I was doing with Wicked & Borg9 was turning the tables on their criticism to point out how easily it can be done. For the record, I don't find either of them to be racially motivated. But the way they went about their defense of the characters was unwarranted. So I trolled a bit to illustrate a point. I don't think Bay is a racist either. But I think it's safe to say his film is insensitive.
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lockesbrokenleg. If I had money for every time one of you guys said something. "Waah weah waah, everyone's offended, waah waah waah". Your white ass would be the first fucking person to cry reverse racism if some black or non-white had said some shit about whites that you feel whites would be unable to respond back to.
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You are an idiot.
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The movie ALSO lampoons Italians no? Guess they're just poking fun at the black Italians? And 'white people' always have to defend it because they're always the one being put on trial for it.When was the last time a black writer/director/producer/,usician was even approached about such a matter? And don't even tell me it's because they don't do it.
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DAMM IT!!
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One movie and only one movie, one incident, is one thing. Even though the level of an incident can be huge, but this is THIS movie, this is one HUGE incident, not some small shit, and this is dating all the way back to Bad Boy and The fucking Rock. But if I was white maybe I'd wonder what the big deal was. ha ha ha. Y'all get away with murder man. Bay is a fuckin' embarrassment.
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Whhhaaaahh!! You people are negative!! Movies are hard to make with film and actors and stuff!! Whaaaaaahhh!!Listen jackweed, if this site saved me 10 bucks or more for a shitty movie, or raised awareness for a movie I might've overlooked, its done its job and then some.
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hit these bastards where i hurts!!
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I think by Transformer 3 they may reach their goal of having 1 robot per square pixel.
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it praises 100 or so more film festival movies no one will ever see.
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Actually, I disagree with the whole "Italian Stereotype" angle. That Character isn't Italian. He's VERY CLEARLY a Joe Pesci impersonation - right down to some Goodfellas dialog. The thing that nailed it home for me was the cribbing of a Lethal Weapon line. "I'm getting too old for this crap!"
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And then put a message that says, "Transformers 2 is just as shitty as what you just read". I was not able to read that shit either, hell, petergrifin's post was probably better.
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Actually, the line first appeared in TO LIVE AND DIE IN LA.
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Is that where the line was cribbed from?
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Jun 23, 2009 5:07:27 PM CDT
WickedJester = my example of whites screaming reverse racism
by whothefuckcares
The evry definition of it in your reply to me. It was only a matter of time. "And 'white people' always have to defend it because they're always the one being put on trial for it." I could quote your whole post but just that one part. The "whites are innocent" part. Fuckin' typical man. It's always the same shit. It's like what the fuck do they have to do for YOU, not someone sensitive, YOU, and white people like YOU, to be offended by it? The fuck do they have to do? Obviously you don't disagree with the portrayal if you DON'T find it offensive. Did "YOU" point out that the italian stereotype was OFFENSIVE? You just asked me what I thought, because I didn't point it out. Well why not you? No one's got a rope tied around your hands. One at a time. You could've brought it up on your own terms. They put that shit in there, and your still not offended by it. It only makes me think what you think about that shit, and if you DON'T find it offensive, the fuck does it say about you? Let some bblak people make fun of whites, and as you pointed out, and I POINTED OUT BEFORE YOU, whites all over would be screaming bloody fucking murder! Democratic and fuckin' republican alike. But go ahead, gloss over half the shit I said.
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It's the WE DON'T DO MUCH READING that makes it so so WRONG. Remember, the "N" word means "IGNORANT". Ignorance associated with African Americans is the worst thing you can say. It sets us back like 50 years as a society.
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Line wasn't in the script. It was "improvised..."
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Haven't we seen this kind of "homage" from these folks in the past? It started as old hat and is still old hat..
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no pun intended. In TRANFORMERS you have "Mammy!" "Speak English, dude" Crzy black guy hacker "Shut up Grandma" which wouldn't be so bad if there were other black characters not acting nuts but if memory serves the only other black character is crazy fat hacker's even fatter Dance Dance Revolution friend who screams and crashes thru the glass door only to be tackled into the pool for more 'comic relief." I'll give Bay a pass on Jazz because that's how he was in the cartoon series (though a case could be made that Bay took him across the line with, "Whassup Li'l Bitches"). Now you have "stepnfetchit" twinbots who say dem books iz hard to read with gold teeth. I mean c'mon What will it take for you to see the obvious offensive trend in Bay's work?
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Then I'm going to my fallback position. Besides, if your going to crib, crib off of Shane. No shame in that.
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a bigot is beyond me. And dude, this is one movie. Let's not forget all his others. MAMMY! MAMMY! Mother fuckin' MAMMY! And people defend this shit. I want to see one of you white people get attacked by a black character or made fun of by Spike Lee, 'cause I know you all love him, and see how cool under the hood you keep about it. Fuckin' hypocrites. Call spade a spade is right.
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Well, isn't the point of sites like this is to champion good movies that don't get enough exposure? Popularity and financial success doesn't also equal quality.
That would be like criticizing a literary site for trashing the TWILIGHT book series while praising the work of authors who sell less than 100,000 copies, like Kate Christensen's "The Great Man" or Junot Diaz's "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" -
Are we to get angry at stupid scenes in stupid movies? Eddie Murphy was in white face on snl. He dressed up as a fat person in Nut Prof. There are so many other examples. Tform2 is a stupid movie. Dont let something like this or other people divide us. We are one race!
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I will, no shit here, I will lose respect for anyone I know who buys a ticket to TF2. I don't care if it's my boss or my best friend or President Fucking Obama- If you support this movie in any way then you and me are done. PROFESSIONALLY.
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with robots.
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It's all opinions. I can disagree or agree with the reviews if I want;. It's not a brainwashing site. Thats Fox News.
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Sounds aces to me.
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So much hate. Just lock Bay and his family up. You know you want to.
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I know it wasn't your intention whothefuckcares, but that line made me laugh. When I went to college we had a number of racial conflicts between some of the students, including a big fight at an off campus party. The Dean said he was going to get to the bottom of this and he was going to assign someone to investigate these problems and find out who is responsible.
"This guys is a straight shooter" the Dean said. "He calls a spade a spade when he sees one."
You can imagine that did not go over well with the black student body and didn't fill them with to much confidence. -
Quote: "Would like to address the issue. Now is probably not the time to make any general statement..."Interesting response. Well, I have yet to see the film so I can't offer my two cents on the issue. However, it does sound like some of the film's "choices" are rather insensitive. And in a movie that's supposed to be about a war between ROBOTS, one has to wonder why so much appears to have strayed into such questionable territory.
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....this discussion is really beyond me.
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Utter crap.
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Jun 23, 2009 5:26:07 PM CDT
Lol, man you people like o overblow the smallest things
by lockesbrokenleg
Is this movie supposed to be a two hour study on racial divide? Uh. No. It's a sci fi movie.
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Please shut these evil bed-ridden guys down......PLEASE!!
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That makes it worse, man. It's a disguise. First Michael Bay got us all riled up against gay hairdressers in The Rock, now this! How dare he!
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answer. Okay:
Did you, yourself, see any racial stereotypes in the film? -
So it's a horrible, racist piece of shit ... but it's an event movie, and most of us will see it at least once anyway. Is it worth ponying up the extra dough for the extra IMAX footage?
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LEFT CHEEK!" Even the sane black person is a little nuts, added with a little 'flava' of "Bring Da Rain! What!!"
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and from his brow, furrowed in concentration as his body moved fast and rythmically, pumping his rock hard member balls deep into the now gaping bowels of his female lead. It was times like this Bay loved life...how easy it all seemed, how little effort it all required. Loosening his grip from Megans sweat and saliva covered,, glowing ass he wiped the sweat and remnants of Peru's prime export from his upper lip..."Fuck this bitch can take a pounding" he though as her now red hot anus showed only the faintest signs of distress as just the hint of feces and blood covered his shaft; "I bet she's been doing this shit since she was 12...good thing I got her before that fucking Spielberg tainted her" he imagined as he gave an extra forceful lunge into her rectum, eliciting a whimper from deep within her throat. The coke was really hitting hard now, and frankly the act of fucking yet another nubile flash in the pan had grown tiring...and so his thoughts drifted...he imagined himself now, not destroying the well used shit hold of his current favorite actress, but rather the typical fan. Oh how he'd enjoy it as they wailed...he thought about fucking them while shooting some practical effects; he imagined how startling effect of the explosions would tighten the sphincter of even the most rabid fanboy and Bay appologist, how he'd love to hit it hard whilst watchin his own films..and then it hit him..the ultimate fantasy...he though about Bob Orci holding down an Transformers fan from AICN Talkback while he rammed that piece of shit script square up their ass while jerking himself off, cuz deep down nobody pleasured Bay like Bay. Grabbing Megans sweat and spunk drenched hair he yanked her gasping face from the pillows she had buried it in. Self aware tears of humiliation and loathing streamed down her cheeks then she thought of the real film fans, how financially raped and insulted they'd be when they saw TF2...it made her own sub human treatment seem pleasureable by comparison, and at that only the money made it tolerable at all. With all the power and overblown visuals of his own film Bay pulled his cock from his muse...and as he stared at her gaping ass he loved himself right there and then...his steaming wad shot high, and in typical Bay fashion he thought...hung for a moment in slow motion before dropping with surprising heft right on the Bulleye on Megans Back...."That", he thought as he stared with contempt at the actress sprawled before him, "That really should have been for the fans"
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that he not answer that and take two whiffs of the ether instead. Otherwise, we're never gonna get out of this Vegas hellhole.
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"What do you mean... You People?"
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and is better than all of indiama jones and matrix and diehrad !is best moive that has been ,made made and micehal bay is best directing for actoin movies becase way he move camara and also he directs theesplosoins where to go so go to see it then !its no need to say theset hings abuot you wont see it becase you will see becase everone will see it beccase its best choise of all the movies .so pleese dont say any moer of the things about ,racist becase is not bbig deel reelly amd isnt true reely .i dont belive in it and no of my frends do belive in it .is not racist then andits film for all of ages adn im 19 and but old peeple will like it and jkids will liek it for all of the funny part and the actoin amd old pepele will like itfor sams mom wehn shes funny .!i dont undestand what your sayign most of you but i intilted to my opinoin arnt i ?so shut fuck up sauying all these things and just to go see see best movie i ever saw then .!i ,dont want tofight with you ok then ?
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Fuckin' GREAT film. Such complexity in characters. Even the bad guys are sypathetic and have character arcs. And what bad ass Jack Palance was as Wilson, the gunfighter....'prove it.' How many times has that movie been ripped off?
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Jun 23, 2009 5:36:03 PM CDT
You know a films good when its defenders list box office stats
by slappy jones
always means quality.
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Jun 23, 2009 5:36:11 PM CDT
You know a films good when its defenders list box office stats
by slappy jones
always means quality.
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I can think of at least two direct rip offs/reinterpretations: PALE RIDER and SOLDIER.
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Really, so exactly how does a robot put on blackface makeup? And why?
I'm already seeing this, like millions upon millions of other humans on this planet. I can only hope it is as mindblowingly offensive as Massa says. We need a good giant robot comedy. -
You totally just called my predicament.
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Jun 23, 2009 5:40:07 PM CDT
So he killed the "blcak" robot in the first and this in the seco
by knugen
I know US pop culture is awash with black douches but this is starting to smell...
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Appaloosa
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1st time i've given you grief, but boy theres somethings wrong with you if you hate everything about transformers 2.
i mean shit, stare at megan fox, that will make at least 1/3 of the movie ok. -
I just saw a screening last night. Of course the film is not art. And sure it's brain numbing, filled with hot women, bad stereotypes, and giant clanking metallic balls. But guess what? I wasn't going in expecting art, and I was fine with it. The argument that the plot is incomprehensible is something I've read all over the net in these pre-reviews, but guess what? If you can't follow along with it, you're a moron. Because it's easy to get. The rest is popcorn at it's best, simple, and easy to swallow. I understand why so many have issues with it but I'll put it to task with ANY of the new Star Wars pieces of shit. An no, this movie is not pearl harbor.
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on company time...there is no time to edit.;)
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Jun 23, 2009 5:50:44 PM CDT
What's the shock horror here. Transformers the terrible.
by hallmitchell
I nearly walked out. Yet sat it through. The first movie was terrible yet I will drop how much i hate the first film and someone in a group will always defend it.
Why I don't know. -
Jun 23, 2009 5:53:29 PM CDT
Does soundwave shoot a cassette tape that turns into a bird?
by mitortilla
or else i'm not watching.
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Jun 23, 2009 5:55:49 PM CDT
I actually don't blame Orci for the racism, here's why
by industrykiller!
I'm not sure how many of you read the original Transformers script, but it was widely available online before the movie came out. The movie followed the scripts plot and characters tot he letter but it was clear a HUGE majority of hte dialogue had been improvised using the script as a blueprint. Now int he first film it was a good thing because the T1 script is literally, from a dialogue standpoint, one of the worst studio scripts I've ever read. It was cliche, boring, and impossible to deliver from an acting standpoint. I would actually say, even hating the first film, that the actors did an admirable job with what they had dialogue wise filling in the scripts holes. It looks like that just got all fucked up with this script. That Bay, following his worst instincts as a hack, just went all balls out. Now its not to take all the heat of Orci and Kurtzman, I think we all know the quality of their writing and that they have no problem selling out at every possible second, but its probably small potatoes compared to all the players, actors and writers alike, following Bays direction.
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He's best when he covers terrible movies. The disdain drips out of his pen.
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Lucky bastard.
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Seriously - have a read of Garth Franklins Dark Horizons review of this film. All the points are similar, and even his use of Batman and Robin is almost the same. If two reviewers on opposite ends of the planet can make the exact same observations of shitness, then you know the film is a dud.
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Paramount pays 3 writers over 8 million dollars or w/e to write a script where most of the dialogue is ad libbed. What % of the script's dialogue made it into the movie 5%?
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Sorry but no amount of plants and apologists can hide the foul stench from this festering steaming lump.
I can switch off the first one's idiocy for the better action parts because that's why you would watch a Movie about Giant transforming Robots who kick the shit outof each other.
But I trust the many, many reviews including Massa's far more than any of the few posters/plants parroting awesome! or trying to justify a blatant stereotype by sophistry or shooting the messenger.
If this Movie is so colossaly stupid as to relegate the fighting Robots to a bit part in favour of Bay's pathetic attempts to be "funny" and idiotic "plotting" then there is no concievable reason to see it in the Cinema. -
Jun 23, 2009 5:59:30 PM CDT
And just because a film isnt Oscar worthy doesnt mean
by industrykiller!
that it can be totally fucking garbage from beginning to end and have that be ok. Is there ANYTHING that these apologists wouldn't accept from this movie? ANYTHING at all?
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I wonder how it makes guys like Kurtzman and orci feel when actors flat out cannot deliver their terrible dialogue?
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It got pretty fucking heavy in here with all the race talk. Frankly I'm not so bothered about the use of stereotypes (stereotypes generally have a ring of truth to them); it's the fact these lazy attempts at characterization are replacing actual, quality writing and characters.
I go back to Predator again (sorry), Hawkins was the least characterized of the group, yet he has more depth of character than the fucking Jar Jar twins. The fact that the most recognizable Transformer is put on the back burner in place of these little shits is mind boggling.
And Massa, when you're telling a guy to enjoy his pointed hat after he has been accused of racism, I'm pretty sure a case could be made for you tacitly supporting the claim. -
BUT I LOVED THE PROPOSAL BETTY WHITE IS SOOOO HOT!!!!
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Could have been an old rusty robot stereotype, like fucking mater.
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To be fair, it wasn't that they couldn't follow it, many said it simply made no sense or seemed cobbled together at the last minute.
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Michael Bay hasn't made ONE good film..He's fucking James Cameron, just without talent. That's why I love whenever he does something and people get hyped for it..I sit back..wait..and then laugh my shit off..He's a fucking Renny Harlan clone on steroids.
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the should've made her a transformer.
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I think 'The Rock' is pretty solid (hehe). But even then you have to ignore the entirety of Bay's filmography, or else you'll realize he only has a couple of tricks that he trots out over and over again. Throwing more money at those tricks only makes them shinier, it doesn't make it new. Again, I will lose respect for anyone supporting this 'movie'.
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like so many others, I have already purchsed tickets for Transformers. Infact I have tickets the Sunday AM show in IMAX.
I really enjoyed the 1st one, and had incredible hopes for the second outing. As one of the rare Bay defenders. I enjoy his work for what it's worth. In his defense, when the studio focuses more on getting a release date for the sequel, before seeing a script, it's no wonder that this is loaded with problems.
Why they couldn't take another year, or two to get something really good, this shows everything that is wrong with movies today. Like this review, I agree that storytelling is always taking a backseat to the bang, pow of something visually "cool" to look at.
Sequels used to take at least 4 years to come out and that was an era when sequels never measured up.
I am totally bummed out that this is being panned so heavily. I normally think the reviewers on AICN often times think they know everything, and come off as the deciders of what we should and shouldn't watch. But Massawyrm's review seems to highlight the biggest problem in rushing a moneymaking sage into production and leave the script to be written, "as they go". While I like mindless entertainment as much as the average summer moviegoer, it sounds like one of the most anticipated movies for me is going to be a dud. I guess I'll have to see The Hangover again to make up for this. -
till' they started calling the bad guys the decepticoons.
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I will not 'turn off my brain'. Ever. I need it to think, and stuff. Unless I'm drunk. Like, really drunk. Like, 'Oh shit where did that 12-Pack go' drunk. Then I'll turn off my brain and go to sleep. Fuck this movie!
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The Steve Buscemi-bot (he sounds more like Buscemi than Pesci to me) did not say the "I'm getting too old for this crap." The old Transformer Jetfire said it. Unless I missed it and BOTH bots said it.
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That's the stupidest criticism I've heard of the film.
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Thanks, Massa. I didn't see the first film but was thinking maybe I'd see this one.
Not anymore.
As of now, I won't even give it a second thought. -
... and have my mine blown to bits of skull particles and brain matter by the inevitable Michael Bay Vs. Al Sharpton racial debate you all KNOW is coming!
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Jun 23, 2009 6:43:40 PM CDT
Jabroni -- Trade them for My Sister's Keeper....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....its not too late. And you'll feel a lot better about yourself afterward.
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...we also all know they'll be picking chunks of Bay out of Sharpton's stool for weeks!
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...and being honest with us. Or at least posting and answering what he can. I might think TF was a hollow excuse for a cash-grab, but Bay gets what Bay wants, and I seriously doubt the majority of the blame for that lies with the writer. Orci gotta eat, man. Now go write us some Shakespeare, you hack.
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It will probably make a billion dollars worldwide.
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Tom DeSanto and Don Murphy are working on a Transformers film. DeSanto has took the time to watch the cartoons and read all the Transformers comics so he knows the source material. DeSanto and Murphy even consult Simon Furman.
Then in comes Spielberg (whose knowledge of TF is based solely on his kids having the toys and him seeing bits of the cartoon), says it should not be about sentient robots, says "lets make it about a boy and his car" (ie the robot is his "pet"). Having already displayed his ignorance of the Transformers concept, Spielberg then decides to hire Michael Bay.
Bay is not interested and knows nothing about TF, but Spielberg persuaded Bay to do the film, even knowing Bay was ignorant of the concept.
Spielberg's first question when interviewing directors should have been "do you like the concept of Transformers? Which are your favourite characters?"
Characterisation is actually central to the Transformers concept; Bob Budiansky envisioned the Transformers as "everymen", anthropomorphic pastiches of humans.
Transformers without characterisation of the robots is not Transformers. The whole point is that they are sentient, and alot of the pathos and humour comes from how like us they are.
The emphasis on the human characters is insulting, because it is based on the assumption we cannot empathise with the robots, even though the cartoon and comics clearly proved that we can.
The wealth of characters and stories they have to draw on is immense and any filmmaker with passion and imagination could come up with something amazing.
In particular the religious subtext of Transformers lore, surrounding Primus, is pure dynamite for any intelligent writer.
The idea of robots, created by a God in his image (and I'd add that Primus, in one of the comic's most subversive twists, does not care much about his creations...imagine how the Christian fundies would react to THAT in a blockbuster movie) is a pretty amazing one because it challenges alot of our perception of robots and ourselves.
I'll bet you Spielberg would have shot down any attempt to make a smart TF movie.
But Spielberg could not give a shit about that, he wants a dumb TF movie, to fund his vanity projects and Oscar bids. -
Jun 23, 2009 6:58:04 PM CDT
I take it everybody who liked the Star Trek movie will see this.
by i hope you die
Since action movies can't be good or bad because they're just action movies. Only a complete dork would have a negative opinion of an action movie!
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hes just an executive producer...hes not on the set everyday cramming notes up Bay coked-up ass.
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http://tinyurl.com/nerkwz
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Are you sure? Were you there?
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I'm sure Harry's own analysis of the film will be equally as negative (if not more so) as Massa's savage attack, but it'd still be interesting to read.
The same fucking lame hack writers
of the recent crap Star Trek film scripted this, so what did people expect. -
Jun 23, 2009 7:15:52 PM CDT
Relugus....that actually makes sense. And sounds plausible....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and after Indy IV, I wouldn't put anything past that cocksucking motherfucker.
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Who really gives a shit? What we have is a movie based on an animated series that was produced to sell toys to kids. Bays raped my childhood bullshit! Its a movie about giant robots, lower your expectations. No director worth his salt would touch a franchise like this with a barge pole. I enjoyed it, as I did the first one.. giant nut jokes aside & those shitty twins... & I'm a huge fan since I was a kid. What the fuck do you want... Shakespeare?
GIJoe though.... that's gonna suck a nut! -
He was excited for it. He makes up his mind before he sees a film, and he already made up his mind he was going to like it. He'll write one of those famous Moriarty "I didn't like this film but I don't really have the balls to say so" reviews.
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Jun 23, 2009 7:20:20 PM CDT
How many more fuckwads have to say "What'dja want, Shakespeare?!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Seriously....get a new fucking line you spineless apologist cunts! Do you realize every single one of you repeats the same fucking thing over and over again?
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all they deal with is legal isues and the business side..they are in no way a part of any technical part of the film. if, and IF spielberg came to the set and wandered around and gave his 60-something sagely advice, i really doubt Bay wouldve heeded it. they are a part of two different schools of filmmaking.
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Calm down. I was bringing it up as evidence that even the most 'regular' black character had his own crazy moment which you didn't really see in say, Josh Dumel's character who had no similarly flipped out moment which seem pretty much reserved for the black characters. I was going to let the issue die, not being one to beat a dead horse, but since you asked... The "Left Cheek!" point was a very, very small addendum to the overall point and should not be taken as the central thrust of the critique which you seem to be taking it as. Relax.
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i only want gold baby..perfection. great obit by the way.
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i guess he didnt make the cut.
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I dunno. His last comments about the film were "The word I'm hearing isn't good..." Remember, he said he was looking forward to GI JOE more than this.
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i WAS gonna take him this weekend, but i think that coinstitues as child abuse.
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Jun 23, 2009 7:27:44 PM CDT
He will go soft. He proved his point with Wolverine...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....and Salvation. He will be afraid he is at risk of become a so-called 'Hater,' cause remember....he's supposed to be the guy that just loves movies! And GI Joe will destroy Trans2. People will slowly start to admit it as the years pass and Joe has ridiculous replay value.
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I swear I had heard that criticism before in another TB (coulda been by you too) as evidence of a stupid black stereotype. I thought that's what you were going for there.
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Being a white person myself, I am not offended as whothefuckcares (who I'm guessing is black is). If there does exist racist undertones in Bay's work it's not directed at me therefore I cannot be offended by it, however when other non-AICN reviewers are referring to the twinbots as "Amos n Andy," this is obviously not a crackpot issue and something others are picking up on independently of one another all across the globe.
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Jun 23, 2009 7:28:46 PM CDT
My favorite part of Trans1 was fat guy going through the glass..
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...it was one of the only times I smiled, during that whole sequence with the cops busting in.
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No, this was my first mention of it, tho I agree I have seen it mentioned before in other TB's.
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Everything revolving around JOE just looks so damn stupid. Both in logic and just all around dumbness.
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Jun 23, 2009 7:48:21 PM CDT
Masa chill and calm down - its bad, but not as bad as you paint
by miyamoto_musashi
It's a 5/10 movie, and its a complete mixed bag.
Some people are glass half empty, some are glass half full, Masa you are really caught up in the empty part. All of the negative stuff you say is very true, the twins for instance were so appaling bad, that I look forward to seeing a tech savy fanboy editing them out of this movie, in some edition.
But there are some decent parts, i.e. the forrest fight was well done, smaller scale, knew who was fighting, almost anytime Optimus is on screen, Soundwave was done well, Megan Fox. -
but ya know what I really hate. I really hate thinking about the fucking party at Bays house this weekend when the retards add another 20 or so Mil to his bank account. I'd be surprised if they do not have an actual virgin sacrifice at that fucker..provided one can be found in LA.
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what was it called?
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sorry it needs to be better than that...why the fuck should i accept a film that is half-good???
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i think he's smarter than we give him credit for...he realized he's a bout to get sacked when this doesnt make what its expected...also why he preemptively clashed with the studios "for not promoting it"...sure thats the reason it didnt do so well...i heard that when T4 came out..sing me another coked up lullaby.
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no shit. I imagine Bay literally snowboarding down his man-made ski slope (like that hotel in Dubai) except Bay's is made of coke, the moguls are porn hooker asses sticking out of the coke and at the end is a small ramp that launches him headfirst into Megan Fox's gaping hole.
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There is no film with a budget bigger than $500 that will feature anything half as dumb as the shit I've been reading about Transformers 2.
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by to flap your gums?" Keep your POS reviews to yourself. Your obviously not a fan of 90% of the movies that get covered on this site, and it seems your only goal/purpose is to drop by and piss everybody off. - Go start your own site where you can talk about how you hate damn near every movie that rolls out.
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Just as I thought. You do care. I love you man. I haven't had an insipid, bullshit troll in a while and I was feeling unloved.
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Like the bad guys shooting up an office building and scaring people and very loudly announcing "BAD GUYS OVER HERE!" in order to get to a very specific office in order to shoot a hi-tech missile at the Eiffel Tower. Logically, they're the stupidest bad guys ever. Just fire the missile from the same fucking helicopter you're using to escape in! When it comes to Transformers, there aren't many of those kinds of glaring moments where everyone's been affected with stupid syndrome. You may think the overall idea of Transformers is stupid and the execution bad, but there are few moments like the one I described above.
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When he ranted about racism, then wrote the words "Sambot Jackasses".
I hope he means that as in "Bots that Sam found", otherwise, that's equally as fucked up as Bay's characters.
Oh & Massa, it would be easy for Bay to "suspend night so he can show every capitol of every country in the world bathed in daylight all at once".
Major cities of countries are called "Capitals" with an A. "Capitols" are buildings, housing a legislative assembly. They could make every capitol look like it's daylight by, oh I dunno, maybe switching the fucking lights on. Here endeth the lesson. You're welcome. -
The guy even liked the unwatchable Hancock. HANCOCK!!!?? So keep your silly apologist ignorance to yourself.
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Here are some more scenes from GI JOE that have just been released.
http://tinyurl.com/2c6hbu
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Jun 23, 2009 8:25:31 PM CDT
Vader-- its like complaining about a Bond villain.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Yeah....they're always stupid. So? Its a cartoony violence sort of world. Its like The Transporter.
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or did I already see that coined somewhere else?
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But I never did see any of those movies. I'm all for dumb fun. Obviously, I fucking liked the Transformers movies. But with JOE, its just... stupid. Reminds me of the same stupid way characters acted in Heroes, just as a service of the plot, doing retarded things bc it led to something "cool" happening. You and I should make a bet about this flick.
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I told him the difference between Capitol & Capital, which technically doesn't make him "less wrong than me".
But jusging from your other posts, you seem to be his little cock bitch, so you just wanna say anything to protect him. When actually, I quite like his stuff & happen to mostly agree with his oprinion of the film.
I was simply informing him of the difference in meaning between capital & capitol.
Now fuck the Subtitles_Off. -
What your saying is that when Bay flashes around the world, showing the various CapitOl buildings...as he does in TF2...I would be correct in my spelling?
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Heh heh, different side of the coin, equally clever.
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Here is my review.
www.mymavra.com
Under no circumstances should anyone pay to see this movie. Everyone needs to boycott this piece of shit and tell others to do the same. It really is as bad as everyone says it is. -
That isn't what you meant though.
Technically, you can get away with that, in a Ron D. Moore ret-conning kinda way, like .."I meant Capitol buildings all along".
But morally, you would go to hell for such an evil trick. -
So even when I'm actually right, I'm wrong. I see. =P
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(The real one) from is that the entire attack on the Eiffel Tower is so obviously just a set up so they can have a fight and an encounter. I mean, it is the laziest of writing.
As for GI JOE, I fall under the "I want a more realistic GI JOE" camp. I am not asking for A THIN RED LINE or BAND OF BROTHERS, but give me RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARC and STARS WARS Episode IV & V level action. Shit, people forget that in ESB we had guys getting show with lasers, yeti monsters arms getting cut off, snow speeders getting stepped on with people inside them, and star ships getting blown up. Action and death, and it was still PG or PG-13. -
Because you're right by default of the fact that capitol buildings are in capital cities.
If you wanna get anal about it, to be 100% right, you have to play the movie & point out every single Capitol building in all of the scenes, without studying what they look like first. Which I'm sure you can't do. I couldn't.
Then & only then, can you say with 100% vindication, that you meant the buidlings. Even then, everyone would know you didn't:-). But you could get away with it on a technicality.
LIke a rapist without a cock. -
Movie-makers turn dark into light all the time, using lights, which they have to switch on.
Ret-con complete. Now get back on your knees, puddin head. -
That isn't what he did at all.
He got the speeling wrong & that's all. He almost admitted as much in his tongue-in-cheek reply.
Only you are obsessing about it. Because you're a puddin head.
Anyway, I count one ret-con each. Technically we're equal, but my intitial post was the correct one.
Jesus, say what you like about Bob Orci, at least when I called him a hack the other day, he agreed with me.
He doesn't have his own little bitch as a wingman. -
This film screams torrent!!!!! All the way!!!
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In a sentence about getting spelling wrong. Don't point it out. I'm on meds after having a heart attack a few weeks ago & my writing isn't great.
& mine doesn't change the context. You know, sometimes, people should just say "Oh yeah. You're right. I fucked up." It saves a lot of hassle. Even Optimus Prime himself says "My bad" ;-). -
Good one.
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I laughed for about three straight minutes at that. Awesome.
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I saw it in the cinema & I could barely make out some of the action. I can't even imagine how shit/unintelligible those scenes would be in a torrent filmed on a camcorder or something.
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let's chill. Subtitles, let him go. There are better fights to be had. Dark Shite, you'll understand when you see TF2 and realize that there is a three shot of various national capitols all experiencing daylight despite being on opposite sides of the globe. Not the cities. The buildings. I was tongue in cheek about it because it's about the silliest god damned thing I can imagine arguing about today. Can't we get back to talking about robot genitalia and calling each pother gay...you know, the bedrocks of AICN talkback?
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Where's PeterGriffin we need some sanity back in this TB.
some people just don't understand tongue in cheek humor. -
Now get back to sucking those robot balls. You big queer;-).
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One scene at least?
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He said something like "I feel the haters' pain & I don't mean that sarcastically."
I wondered what he meant by that, I was busy calling him a hack at the time. The temptation was too great.
Could it be that he really agrees that the movie's a POS? I mean, after talking for a little while on the other thread, (during which he seemed to be a pretty nice guy & I felt bad for taking the piss), he left.
He only came back when someone asked him, who thought up the robot balls etc. He said it was Bay.
Considering the fact that he hadn't been posting for a while, but returned only for that, do you think he maybe does indeed feel our pain? -
bring it to me!!!!!
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Not asking anyone to accept it, just commenting on balance and about sometimes how we can only see/focus on the negatives.
Some of my comments already on this movie have been scathing, the twins, the excess etc, we should never accept mediocre, especially with the budget he had.
But really it comes down to the type of film maker,the people they have around them and how open the film maker is to criticism.
I still believe some smart editing could make it a decent movie, well at least a fun one. -
You have no idea how deep the shit is that you're wading into. You don't wanna be calling me a fucktard.
Even sick, even on meds, I can run rings around you mentally & verbally.
If that happens, remember one thing, I wasn't talking to you. You jumped into something that had nothing to do with you, like you did earlier to someone else, because you're Massa's new bitch.
Trust me, you wanna back off kid. Or it won't be Avatar fucking your eyeballs in 2009. It'll be the finger bone of your newly dead, yet still infinitely fuckable, Mother. The one she uses to wag at you & call you puddin head.
Except I'll be wearing her dress & shoving the aforementioned finger in your fucking eye. -
I think in Bay's world, *everything* is superficial, that includes ideas of other races/cultures, women etc.
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This review gets a bajillion stars just for Masa's turn-of-phrase with the Sambo robots. That one word is funnier than this entire movie, which is roughly as enjoyable as going down a slide behind a naked dude who is shitting himself; the slide should be fun, but what you're witnessing is so fucking awful that you can't enjoy yourself at all. Plus you're covered in shit.
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what did harvey dent say?
the night is always darkest before the dawn...thank you james...thank you for giving me hope again this weekend.
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This movie will make a million billion zillion dollars.
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It's a great way to weed out imbeciles once someone admits to liking it.
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Jun 23, 2009 9:35:21 PM CDT
People praise the how much money it will make....
by trannyformers_apologist
..but can't list any positive aspects of the movie...well not any that can be taken seriously.Do they work for Bay? Work for Paramount? Brainwashed fans who can't let go?
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Isn't it worse that Bay does not even realize that he is being that insensitive? Is it the fact that the Bad Boys films involve black actors/characters that he has some sort of pass to do this? It is fuckin' juvenile to take a bunch of aliens and put a bunch of archetypes, stereotypes and illogical personalities on them. They are fuckin' robots. They don't need to be "readuhs." For fuck's sake, they shoot holograms out of their eyes "Help me Obi-Wan" style. Give them personalities, but they are not from this fuckin planet. Suspending disbelief is required for all films like this, but you don't have to suspend common sense. We know this movie is made to move some merchandise. Were they all at a brainstorming session when someone said "Look, we need to find our lowest common denominator here to keep the young kids' attention. Let's make at least two of the robots uneducated inner city minority youth. They will be robots, of course, so no one will really get that they are black." You have three or four hundred characters to pull from in the transformer universe, some that are voiced by black actors or meant to be a character that a black robot, but even the insipid cartoon didn't even make it painfully obvious that the character was black. There is disparate treatment and disparate impact. Bay has done both here.
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Damn that Mavra Chang! She stole my Metallic balls and sold them to Mikey Bay! Good thing they have homing device built in just like Iron Giant.
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More of The Same, instead of Revenge of the Fallen. And Bay directed? WHY I'm I not surprised you thought so little of it? You didn't expected LESS than the original Transformers, did you? That's not Hollywood!!!!
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Man, that was fuckin brilliant. I think that's the best way anyone could ever describe this movie. Goddamned hilarious. You should do movie reviews.
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It has its supporters, and its detractors.
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What next, a monkeybot that does nothing but sit on a porch? Fuck you Michael Bay. Fuck you indeed.
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I'm sure he is a nice guy..But Fuuuuuck, the dude simply can't write a decent script.I also saw that "feel your pain" line...and I'm sure Bay had his cock deep into this script...but this level of suckitude goes much farther than Ball on Robots and a mechanical dry humping Fox...this is ROOT level suckage..and for that Orci must take some of the blame.So..don't weep for him, if for no other reason than he is hackish enough to write a script in which FUCKING Robots Piss and fart for which he was paid an income the size of a small countries GDP.
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Jun 23, 2009 10:15:47 PM CDT
JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW JJ IS SIMPLY A SUPERIOR DIRECTOR
by ayatollahsexyback
Despite some of Orci's silliness, JJ managed to inject a lot of humanity and tenderness into New Trek. Bay is incapable of overcoming a weak script, only amplifying it.
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"they complained that i killed the only black robot the first time, so i'll give them TWO MORE, and they're EVEN BLACKER!!"
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...seemed to be hinting, two or three times, at the fact that he understood it was subpar product. He basically pointed towards the fact that as a writer in Hollywood, your control is severely limited by other people who are the true decision-makers. And he said he understood the complaints were, zero sarcasm.
Maybe because of the way it was rushed prior to the strike? Maybe the gaps were filled in by Bay and others? Who knows. Either way, Orci can't escape blame because his name is on this turd. -
My brother just called from a midnight showing he said eight theatres are sold out for , I'm not saying this is going to be a great film but after Harry's terminator and land of the last reviews I'm going to take every review on here with a grain of salt
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Are you suggesting you *wouldn't* write a script that includes robot urination for a fee the size of a small country's GDP?
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But at least I'd have at least TRIED to make something just a tiny bit more...classy.
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Zandunga
"...seemed to be hinting, two or three times, at the fact that he understood it was subpar product. He basically pointed towards the fact that as a writer in Hollywood, your control is severely limited by other people who are the true decision-makers. And he said he understood the complaints were, zero sarcasm.
Maybe because of the way it was rushed prior to the strike? Maybe the gaps were filled in by Bay and others? Who knows. Either way, Orci can't escape blame because his name is on this turd."
You may be reading a bit much into my answers. I think I would elaborate to say that we truly feel for any fan that feels that a franchise that they love has been disrespected or done wrong. -
Jun 23, 2009 10:57:00 PM CDT
Let me tell you guys a little something about Bob Orci
by industrykiller!
A few weeks back him and I got into it about the problems in Star Trek. Now whether you liked the film or not (and I actually kinda did) it's got plot holes, conveniences, and devices up the fucking wazoo. I don't wanna argue about it because its a fact. Now I took him to task on some of these problem, most of which he didn't answer. BUT some people on the talkback were pissed about the Enterprise being built on Earth rather than a gravity vacuum in space, now its not a big complaint of mine but I thought I might take him to task on the continuity switch for my Trekkie friends. His response was that after George Kirk died they, for some reason that seems inexplicable, rearranged the entire starship building process to build them in Iowa to honor George Kirk's memory. When I asked him if this was explained in the film he said no. When I replied that he can't just make this shit up after the fact and not explain it in the movie at all, he responded that I should have known because the salt shaker Kirk uses in the bar are shaped like the Starship Kelvin. When I asked if he was fucking seriously implying that salt shakers explain a large continuity shift he responded something like "Well next time I guess I can dumb it down for you." So not only did he come up with that completely asinine justification, he was fucking snooty about it. Feel bad for him all you want, but this is not a guy who gives shit 1 about storytelling, and he's rich for thinking that way. Trust me there are a lot better people who could use your pity in this town.p.s. I also asked him if Spock Prime simply miscalculated when a supernova thousands of years in the making was going to destroy a planet and his response was basically "Yeah". So I'm just sayin this aint a rare thing with him.
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He's just covering his bases guys, I think we all know EXACTLY what he meant.
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"I don't wanna argue about it because its a fact." LOL! Seriously. Man. That was awesome. -wipes tears-
To answer your Criticism in Star Trek, I thought it was self evident. With the advent of the attack and destruction of a Starship, Starfleet became more directly militarized and their mission less focused upon exploration, their focus more upon defense against unknown hostile threats...like giant fucking Romulan ships of unknown origin. That's not to say that is Orci's actual answer - but that's how it appeared to me and those I've spoken with. -
...being your idea. Did you ever even watch a single episode of TRANSFORMERS? You got NOTHING right. NOTHING. Everything got 're-imagined' 'coz y'know your such a fucking genius and everything canon that stood the test of time and created the audience that got the film greenlighted in the first place just wasn't as good as what YOU could come up with, right? Fuck that nobody Gene Roddenberry, too, right? Who are they to stand up to your staggering intellect that dreams up robots that piss and fart and hump legs? Paul Shrader's got NOTHING on you, dude. I'm starting to think you probably scripted Shia's, "Nononononono,"'coz y'know you are just THAT high a level of wordsmith. May I repeat my request that you please find the highest building you can and promptly throw yourself off of it?
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Not how I remember the conversation, exactly. Attack changed history... that's it. Nothing more complicated than that. So some things CHANGED, like where the Enterprise was built.
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Because a ship appeared out of nowhere in a far away reach of space they switched up the entire ship building process to build them on Earth instead? I don't see that happening. It's not like the Kelvin was destroyed in mid-construction or anything. Moreover how did they even get the ships into space without any kind of evident launching mechanism? Look, we could go back and forth like this but the point is it was clearly all done so Abrams could have a cheesy shot of Kirk looking at the ships and doing an "I'm seeing my destiny for the first time and IT. IS. GLORIOUS!!" Skywalker-esque thing. There is no actually justification from a storytelling perspective that is universally obvious. GAH! Why am I arguing about this?? It really isn't even close to being one of my biggest complaints about the film.
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As promised I stole that Fucker right off TPB...watched it..considered it "ok" and then went out and padded your coffers. No..it wasn't good, the script was it's weakest link..but I was entertained enough to give you my share of your Ferrari payment.But this shit...Balls...On...a...fucking...ROBOT!
For Fucks sake man...whats WRONG with you? Are you emotionally and mentally stunted or something? Do you get your writing gigs based on directors pity and some Federal EEOC guidelines regarding the employment of the mentally handicapped? I mean damn guy...robots humping the leg of some girl? That alone is all kinds of god damned stupid!I know you are just the writer, and can claim your hands were tied...but that dickweed Bay got these FULL RETARD ideas from somewhere, or at least bounced them off you...Lord knows he isn't THAT fucking stupid all on his own...is he? -
Trust me the argument became about salt shakers. Seriously, it was, like, a THING with us. The salt shakers. Which probably makes us bad people.
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""Moreover how did they even get the ships into space without any kind of evident launching mechanism?" Or to rephrase your question, how did they get their flying ship to fly? Do they build the space shuttle in space? Certainly the Enterprise is as advanced as the Space shuttle, no?
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Kudos, Sir! Kudos.
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"I mean damn guy...robots humping the leg of some girl? That alone is all kinds of god damned stupid!"
I agree that the that particular robot should behave better. But he is a bad, bad robot. -
Jun 23, 2009 11:21:16 PM CDT
You wanna see writing Bob...Scroll on up and read my take...
by conspiracy
You just wish you had such a fertile imagination. I created a more vivid characterization in 10 minutes between phone calls and paperwork than you did with 24 months of dedicated work and an entire back catalog of characterization at your disposal.Tell me I'm not spot on in my treatment of Bay and this project.
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you did a solid job with Trek - how you shit the bed with Transformers baffles me... At the end of the day, you really don't care.
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and some of the robots in this movie are very very naughty
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snooty? How come I have to be all prim and proper -- this is a talkback section, right. Am I not allowed to join in? What is this fucking CNN or something?
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Had this one and only user name for 5 years or so, just never got the itch to post in here. I was just simply stating my opinion - that you are a tool. I spoke my opinion, now I can go back to reading useful and worth while reviews
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Jun 23, 2009 11:25:31 PM CDT
As for the building Starships on Earth..I give Bob a Pass.
by conspiracy
as obviously any civilization that can produce gravity (as we see inside the starships)can use the same technology to nullify it planet side...meaning that the movement of mass is a non-issue.Still...it looks a lot cooler, and makes more sense given the potential planetary lethality of something like anti-gravity propulsion to make it off planet.
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Too early for a "gate" suffix? Anyway here is just a snippet to prove it did happen:Boborci:"And if you notice the Salt shaker in the diner, it is clearly the KELVIN, but perhaps that was too subtle for you. Will try to dumb it down more next time."IndustryKiller:"As for building ships on Earth, a salt shaker?? I'm supposed to assume salt shaker = George Kirk Memorial Shipyard?"Boborci: "The salt shaker thing is a layer to be discovered by those who care. With or without it, the story works"
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"I agree that the that particular robot should behave better. But he is a bad, bad robot." That answer is beyond gay. If a talkbacker were to post that here they'd be torn a new one by EVERYONE. Your responses demonstrate that you live in your Hollywood ego bubble and you are completely out of touch and that is reflective in your work and one of the reasons why TRANSFORMERS 2 is getting universally panned including the woodshedding Masswyrm gave it here. I'm going to bed...
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I meant that more as a joke cause, I mean, who says "snooty"? No believe you me I appreciate insults flyin fast and furious.
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Out of touch? Maybe. But you have to understand that I know that hating Michael Bay and his movies is it's own cottage industry. Good night.
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...to a wrestling match. Then you'll have earned your talkback credibility.
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but you're on your own here. Bayformers is indefensible. I suggest you stick with JJ if you want a half-respectable career.
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The sad thing is he probably thinks he's keeping it real or some shit. I noticed in the first movie, which only had three black characters, that two of them cussed out their matriarchs. I think one was a mom and the other a grandma. And the only Autobot that died acted black, and not in a dignified way. It makes me sad that out of all the people involved in this movie, not one of them could talk some sense into this guy. Everyone shares the blame. Mike is only one man.
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...is so much more than just an industry. It's a way of life. A rejection of mediocrity. A WILD EYED, PASSIONATE EMBRACING OF FEAR!
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I don't think a script can be worse than Star Trek but I will be taking notes. I have never cringed more at dialogue than with Trek, so TF2 might have an advantage since there will be less talking.
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Then Keep Lying To Yourself That Mass IS wrong.Every critic sees the blatant racism.Its right in front of our eyes..
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Was that really necessary, Bob?
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Is 95% on the tomatometer...Guess which one i'll be seeing this weekend
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I like Jason Patric and the trailer made me verklempt.
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Who is Bay stereotyping when you see robots with gold teeth who can't read?
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I guess Kathryn Bigelow knows how to do explosions right.
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how he and kurtzman keep getting jobs? I seriously need to know.
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The golld tooth is just stupid...mybe mike thought it's still cool and hip.But why the hell did they throw in that they cant read.Is mike racist or a bi-product of the dumbing down of a generation of young people of all colors
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The gold tooth is just stupid...maybe mike thought it's still cool and hip.But why the hell did they throw in that they cant read.Is mike racist or a bi-product of the dumbing down of a generation of young people of all colors
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This is not a good summer for black people.
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So did The Kingdom, but that was only ok.
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but I don't think I can take the explosionfest. sorry.
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Given his arrogance, wouldn't imagine that he will give a great answer on that.
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I'm Black, I watched it and it was great fun! The twins ere streetwise, NOT BLACK! And that's how these young idiots on the "streets" talk these days so it was a good send-up. When Jazz used street for his dialect in the first movie, nobody called it racist. When Jazz in the cartoon was played by a black guy and spoke in 70's semi-jive, nobody called it racists! Now we have a pair of robots talking like modern day street kids and its suddenly racist? Sorry but as a black man I reject that, go look up the meaning of the word and try to explain how it applies here!
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no worries -- you can catch it on an airplane sometime!
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God bless you!
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If I had seen this I would be able to join in the talkback "The real actual fucking writer showed up here, holy shit" fest. I will say that I liked TF1, hated The Island, and thought the first 3 seasons of Alias were solid gold. If this movie has a moment as cool as Starscream attacking the jets in TF1 I'll be OK with the rest of it.
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Fair enough!
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Jun 24, 2009 12:29:05 AM CDT
I'll probably get the blu ray, that way I can turn it down
by ironic_name
the explosion porn of bay movies really gives me a migraine. but I did just watch simon west's very baylike con air, and that was actually a lot of fun. maybe if I wear earplugs.
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And also can you read Harry's comments about the writing and answer whether he is on the mark or not ?
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good work, man!
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I leave for a few minutes & Borci shows up.
Oh & Subtitles_Off, I wasn't talking to you. You're a brown-nosing cunt & a fucking idiot.
Do you know, I pity smart Americans? Wanna know why? 'cause stupid Americans like you are fucking annoying!Because the poor fuckers have to deal with cocksuckers like you.
You say nothing, yet make an argument, don't come even close to winning it (because you can't), lack any form of with or intelligence, then proclaim yourself the winner.
Despite. Winning. Fuck. All.
My post (which wasn't even important by the way, until you got involved by being a little suck up), still stands. The difference between capitol & Capital still stands & is not a spelling mistake, but a mistake of context.
If I'm gonna read a review, I wanna know that basic things are correct. It's important, so I can trust the review. Like the AICN donunder guy, who called the film "Rise of the fallen". How can I trust the review if he can't get the name right?
Capitol/Capital isn't so important (you made it so by volunteering to be Massawyrms arse bitch, humiliating yourself in the process). But if you're gonna write a review, write it properly, that's my view, so I mentioned it, briefly.
You've got some Massawrym jizz on your chin. No, not that chin, the one underneath it. Cunt.
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You got your porno letters writing down.
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I do, I read everything.
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Jesus Christ man, how pathetic are you to come trolling around here to talk about your movie? I'm only here because I am stuck at home doing my wash. But you, fuck, you could go out and do something fun on a Tuesday night, or go score some coke and use that to score some stripper.
Fuck, Hollywood is wasted on guys like you. You make me sick... -
Romulan and Federation are enemies since day one... Misleading till the 11th hour is rather true to form... Even that aspect is reflected in Nero going down a black hole in the movie..... The more I post on this site the more I realize many of you have never seen.. ILSA:SHE WOLF OF THE SS
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If I ever had a disagreement with someone, it was usually intelligent. Even if it turned nasty, the sarcasm & intellect in the little duels was fun. I'd even congratulate my opponents on a good one-liner or be congratulated by them.
Ever since the other week, when I posted about my heart condition & that my spelling etc was a bit shit, it's like I'm being stalked by fuckwits.
I'm still winning, but they piss me off. They're so lacking in self awareness to the point where they make the kind of point a 10yr old could make. No wit or intelligence or anything, just normal statements. But they think it's genius so they then congratulate themselves on it.
It bores the fuck out of me. Where's the sport in fighting idiots? It's like racing Stephen Hawking down the street. -
Don't tempt my SLAYER fandom!!!
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Jun 24, 2009 12:50:46 AM CDT
The REAL question is how did Spielberg greenlight this travesty?
by ajd_1
Did he even see this movie before it was put out there?
Bay I can understand - but SPIELBERG????? -
He'd rather come here and be abused by us than go out and face the fact nobody outside Hollywood insiders would recognize him.Here...he is Bob Orci...writer of films we love to hate; out there in the real world he just another douchbag trolling for underage runaways on Hollywood Blvd. in a leased Aston Martin.
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Jun 24, 2009 12:55:21 AM CDT
Bob was just spotted trying to promote a movie he produced
by trannyformers_apologist
Roberta please go back to Don Murphy, TFW2005.com, Screen Rant, or Trekmovie.com.
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I am indeed pathetic, but I am understandably curious as reactions trickle in on opening night.
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"Roberta please go back to Don Murphy, TFW2005.com, Screen Rant, or Trekmovie.com."
I'll be there, too. -
Brings all the Romulans to the yard.
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Dude man... I saw threeveing w/ Kevin Smith a little while ago. The ignorance and shit is legendary in these talkbacks. Go find a site where negativity is at a low....
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It is one thing to sit in anonymity and gauge reaction to a mean spirited joke, quite another to stand in the middle of the room of of strangers you just insulted, scream "I did it" and beg them to hit you harder.Really dude...stop hanging out with Shia and Bay..that fuckin Coke has relieved you of common sense.
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But still, why post anything? You can still gauge people's reactions without letting your presence known? Doesn't your appearance here kind of ruin any chance for real honest criticism or reaction?
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Never, ever put down the use of cocaine. If anything, Bob needs to use more coke or start using it.
Cocaine = the 70s, greatest period of film ever. Scorsese, Friedkin, Schrader, Coppola, Robert Altman, DePalma...they were all coked up. And thank God for that. -
"But still, why post anything? You can still gauge people's reactions without letting your presence known? Doesn't your appearance here kind of ruin any chance for real honest criticism or reaction?"
Does it? I don't see a lot of ass kissing around here. But you're right that I use it to harden my skin as a kind of exercise. -
BobOrci is like a bazillion times cooler than scriptgirl. The very idea of a the writer of a $200 mil movie in the talkbacks DURING the midnight release? Insanity. And once again, I just gotta give the props for Seasons 1-3 of Alias. can anyone tell me if Fringe is any good? Havent watch it at all.
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I don't mind the negativity. I cause a lot of it!
I just like my negaticity a bit smarter than some of the dumb fuckers who show up lately.
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The name of a puppet on a kid's TV show.
TV Presenter: "Do you think Bob Orci is here today kids? Shall we open the box & see? Ok..let's have a look!"
"Ah! There he is! Hello Bob Orci!"
(Bob Orci waves puppet hand)
"What are you doing today Bob Orci?
(Whispers)
Oh, you're counting??
(Nods head & whispers)
"Counting your money??"
(Nods head)
"What else are you counting Bob Orci?"
(Whispers)
"Shit hack job movies about giant Robots??"
(Nods Head)
"I know, let's all count together..you can join in at home too, if you like".
"One...................Two. Two shit hack job movies about giant Robots! Yay" :-). -
What...you are expecting worse from us in the future? Don't tell me you have so little confidence in yourself and your abilities you can not foresee a time in the future someone might actually PRAISE you.Christ man..get some self confidence...it'll help your writing.And Cocaine is the wrong drug for Bob in his current state...It helped those guys because they were good and imaginative writers/directors to begin with; Bob isn't quite there yet....giving Bob coke would just send him into a fucking panic attack. I recommend LSD Bob...or if in LA try some PCP, you can score that shit down by the nearest Zankou chicken....who knows maybe running around Glendale naked at 3am with a chicken stuck on your dick my help you get some fresh ideas.Dry humping robots...ha.
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Bob -you don't mind if I call you Bob right? - Bob, it might not seem like there is any ass kissing but you can't say for certain that your presence hasn't changed the tone of this TB. Who knows how many people might be biting their tongues because you are here, or maybe being extra vicious because you showed up.
As for using it to harden your own skin as a kind of exorcise, I am saying you are a masochist or else full of shit.
Personally, I think you came here to gloat because your film is going to do gangbusters despite what the opinion here is. And actually there is nothing wrong with that. You are like a liberal Democrat on a bunch of Conservative Republicans on the day Obama got elected, laughing at our impotent nerd rage.
C'mon Bob. You can tell me, that is the truth isn't it? I won't hold it against you if it is. I'm just curious. -
...is gloat, but I'm not going to shrink either.
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Trannyformers! Come on..you've gone step-n-fetch it/gowld toof/humping/pissing/farting/crying robots far..wy not pitch it right over the fucking cliff next time...think about it.Trannyformers...guy dressed in disguise; Trannyformers...Surprise between the thighs.Tell me that idea won't launch Bay into orbit and tap into a whole new demo to sell mediocrity too.
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Jun 24, 2009 1:22:26 AM CDT
Dude... you proudly proclaim your devotion to the worst director
by citizen sane
You praise his moviemaking sans story-telling and yet your biggest complaint is that there is no story. What did you really expect from a narcissistic hack who owes his career to his giant, swinging cyber-phallus (and to hack-producer Bruckheimer taking all of it).
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The lack of intelligent critique I can definitely understand. Got a lot of that in the STINO talkback.
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I mean, the way I see it, there are aspects of the characters that are great. Mainly the bits that resemble the characters that have existed for what now? Over 25 years or so?
What possible justification is there, for having the characters so things like "Punk-ass Decepticon"? Really?
That kinda stuff isn't aimed at the fans, who find it offensive, so who is targeted at?
& you know what? It's a shame. I was watching the forest fight scene & I thought to myself "This could be a fucking great film, if they cut out all the shit & added more of this stuff." It really is a shame. -
I am not ashamed to admit if I made a movie that split opinion as much as Transformers 2 but it still was going to make tons of money I would be here gloating all the way. Fuck, I would laugh and mock DGDB and Stuntcock Mike, and insult conspiracy and D. Vader until my fingers were numb with pain from typing.
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selling something you probably tossed off over a weekend. If I had gotten someone to pay me that kinda money in return for even Lucas would be embarrassed to call his own I'd be fucking proud as fucking punch.I'll say this...if you ever get tired of punching out scripts you'd make a hell of a used car salesman.
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Had some good points but kept going like the AIC song the Rooster.
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Every week.
"Dear Bob, everytime I watch Star Trek, the lens flares make my cock bleed. Do I have Leprosy?". -
Jun 24, 2009 1:31:31 AM CDT
Just ingore him and he loses all of his power
by trannyformers_apologist
and will fade away. What he is doing here? Answering questions about his movies?
Try to promote a movie he produced? Any questions about the quality of his scripts will be answered either in a vague manner, not at all. -
As always...it was a riot.You too Bob, it isn't personal, you are probably a nice guy and if you try REAL HARD, and keep at it...someday, when you sell out enough to never have to work again... you'll surprise yourself and find a real artist in that void of creativity that currently fills your skull.
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My favorite part was JetFire!!! actually philosophically true to the character in the cartoon!!!! Want to see the movie with good audio to see if it holds up!!!!
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His character was the only one with some catharsis. I feel the need to see if verified in the right sense
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I sincerely have to commend you for coming into this TalkBack and interacting with us in a reasonable and even humorous manner in spite of the beating you and the movie have been getting.
I dunno if you're aware of the ridiculous manner in which Don Murphy was acting during the run up to the first movie, it got so bad he got himself banned from a major TF website because of his over the top abuse of the fans. (I was one of those fans, and if I'm honest, at least some of the vitriol I express towards these films probably stems from those confrontations)
So kudos to you sir, you seem to give as well as you take, and that, in my experience, is a rare thing in Hollywood. -
and good night, conspiracy... after this movie, I have nothing more for you this summer so until next time.
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They already had a Decepticon giving Sam a lap dance. How about robot torture pornFox can get dressed up and torture robots by burning their eyes with a blow torch ... while other Decepticons tentacle raped Sam. Bumblebee give golden showers ....
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I wasn't going to, but after reading Massa's hand-wringing kvetching about how un-PC this film is, it's pretty much become a MUST-SEE for me! Thank ya, Massa suh! :D
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It means if he's involved with the next movie, maybe he can take people's concerns into account.
Or maybe he'll just take the money.
I suppose a lot depends on if his steroid & coke infused, Army worshipping, Casting couch staining, megalomaniacal, super Human overlord, Emperor Bay really does walk away from it. I fucking hope so!
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I will be upfront, I am not a fan of your work, but that is mostly because you work in genres I don't really like. I am sure that will keep you up late tonight when you read that.
However, my question for you is what were the types of film you wanted to make when you first got into the business? What films inspired you to get into the business? And would you say that Transformers fits that same criteria?
I know it is unlikely that you would say you are only doing this for the movie, wether it is true or not (for all I know making a giant robot movie has been your life long dream), but I am curious if this is the type of stuff you set out to make, or if you are "forced" to work on this type of stuff because that is the way Hollywood works now (only blockbusters are getting financed nowadays). -
...when someone calls me out by "name." I mean, do you think Roberto Orci ever thought in a million years he'd thank a hairy nutsack?
**pats self on back for giving self such a stupid name**
I did mean every word though Bob! And since I'm in ass kissing mode, I REALLY liked Star Trek. And while I didn't make a specific connection between the shipyard and George Kirk, it was a simple enough conclusion that changes had occured because of the altered timeline. (I did however notice the Kelvin salt shaker, nice touch there actually) -
"Yessum Mr. Bay! Don't whoop me now, I's a good boy."
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It just occured to me to ask about his involvement with WATCHMEN. If you're still around- what/how much did you do?
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We did the final re-write. Kind of a polish, mostly putting back some of the lines from the graphic novel and a few other little things.
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If I read another lens flare quip I will give you a PANTERA death metal explosion!!!! Scientifically if you shine a flashlight in an hermetically sealed tin can, like a theoretical starship? What do you get? FUCKING LENS FLARING... I SWEAR THAT FUCKING HATE GRIPE WILL MAKE ME INVENT A FUCKING VIRUS or something....
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But ignored a bunch of people's questions? That's not cool.
I'm thinking of questions like mine: "What was your target audience for this movie?"
Or Continetalop's : "what were the types of film you wanted to make when you first got into the business?"
I mean, I realise that Conti's might make you cry, if you had intentions of doing something cool & somehow ended up scrambling for crumbs at the feet of a cunt like Bay.
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Don't think too much into it, the dark knight had plenty of it. Yet people don't seem to care until conan tells a joke about it.
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I actually liked the lens flare. & the movie. The joke was the "Ask Orci" section, the rest was just me talking shit:-).
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But I doubt he has ever sold out as much as i have. I use to write Skinemax movies for fuck sake. I don't have any leg to stand on in criticizing Bob's resume.
If you did sell out more than me Bob, how much of One Cup + Two Girls was your idea? -
I'm an extremely singleminded, dedicated fan of Battlestar Galactica so I have to know, are you fan as well?
Edward James Olmos makes it a point to work with Latino/Hispanic people, any involvement with him on anything?
(these questions are for me and MNG, the rest of you can piss off) -
The punk in me has to ask to ask "are you the fucking stupid?"
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"What was your target audience for this movie?" Our target was fans of the last movie. But in general, we don't think in terms of target audience, but more in terms of what's natural to the franchise.
Or Continetalop's : "what were the types of film you wanted to make when you first got into the business?"
When we first got in, we thought we'd be doing little independent movies like Sex, Lies, and Videotape, but as a kid I wanted to make Spielberg type movies like Raiders, ET, Back to the Future, etc... -
Or am I that fucking stoopid?
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Would love to work with Mr. Olmos.
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Jun 24, 2009 2:11:39 AM CDT
So the consensus on this movie is that it is shit, right?
by continentalop
I really can't imagine it being good. I have yet to see anything by Michael Bay that I like. I know some guys go nuts for him, but I am a firm believer in what Von Ellstein said in The Bad and the Beautiful, that a film can't be all climaxes. That is a sign of a bad director (something I consider Bay to be).
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Nice!!! I totally dig your attitude.. I will re-read your post so I don't miss the usual 1/3 of what's being said. RIGHT NOW. Then another Dartheweiser!!!
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How much direction and control did you have with something like TF2 compared to say Fringe. Watching Fringe and seeing TF2, Fringe comes across as well written, whereas as others have pointed out TF2 is clearly lacking.
With TF2 is it a case of Bay or a producer, saying you need to include dogs humping, robots humping someone's leg or Sam's mom high on pot brownies or is at actually you guys coming up with it, and do you have any say, i.e. "Sorry Michael Devestator's scrotum is where we draw the line" -
I haven't seen much "natural" in the franchise at all.
There's nothing natural about the characters, because their personalities keep switching from the ones we recongise to your own creations & they don't gel.
Then you have your scenes, which also aren't natural. Even from the start of the first movie, it was pretty much writer's 101 stuff.
For example, you have a bunch of soldiers in a helicopter, each one kind of a cliche. One of them mentions his kid, one of them talks Spanish & talks about his mother, the one with the kid is specifially referred to as "Captain", just to hammer the point home that he's the one in charge. It was fast, cliched exposition. There to suit a movie that requires exposition, but lacks the time for it.
Why? Because the kind of people who'll mainly go to see it, lack an attention span. So a lot of the scenes are very inorganic. Not natural at all & it continues in that style all the way through.
You love BSG (one of the best shows ever) & you don't mind writing for a Bay movie? Fuck me, it must be for the money.
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Currently 22% on RT.
Saw it last weekend, 5/10 kind of movie I think, there are some good parts, especially for people who were fans of the cartoon, there are some appaling bad parts. For the reviewers that have no connection with Tranformers, think its a 2/3 out of 10, for most think its somewhere between a 4-6 out of 10. Certainly not good by anyone's measure when you think about the amount of money involved. But being as cynical as I am, from a studio perspective its all about the bottom line. -
Jun 24, 2009 2:26:20 AM CDT
Massa.....why doesn't this Orci have a black box yet?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Don't want one.
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Do you realize how much money the writer of a big Hollywood blockbuster get's paid? Shit, movies have been made about people killing their spouses for probably a fourth of what he got for Transformers.
Nothing wrong with selling your soul out for Transformers level money. You can always use it to buy or lease a new soul. -
It's not a "good" movie- it's a collection of set pieces with some shoddy plotting, but it's a meal of hot fudge sundaes and fried chicken- tastes good going down, leaves you less than fulfilled in the end. And it's precisely what I expected here. The acting was actually pretty solid in a lot of places- particularly Megan Fox who sold the emotions with sincerity. Again, the story was nutty but it felt no different than watching the old cartoon. Leaps of logic are a staple of this material. I won't see it again, but for a night I was entertained.
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It's about the same. You still have a network and a studio that are your collaborators.
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Seriously, who's idea was that? I think its very funny, TBS even agrees with me.
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I turned a job down the other week, that would triple my salary at Junior High.
To give you some context, I already earn twice the standard wage in Japan. As I'm probably never gonna be a multi-millionaire, triple my salary would make me comparatively rich.
But it would mean working at a private school in Japan, singing the ABC song & essentially being a pink dancing monkey. So I said "No".
You may not believe me & if you do, you might think I'm insane, but I truly believe that as a would-be writer, if Bay came calling, even now, I'd tell him to go fuck himself. Because I truly don't believe in his films.
Now either Bob orci likes Bay's movies (in which case he must be dumb), or he doesn't. Having read his words here, I'd say he isn't dumb enough to be a Bay fan. In that case it's selling out.
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"But in general, we don't think in terms of target audience, but more in terms of what's natural to the franchise."
Like robots farting. -
But i can sometimes see where it is just a job. Call it the blue collar background in me, but sometimes you got to do somethings because they are offering to much money to turn down. Money equals financial freedom, financial freedom equals creative freedom.
Of course, if after making shitloads of money you are still doing stuff like a Bay flick, you either do like his movies or you are just greedy, I agree with you there. -
as a matter of pure logic, yes. What is Tansformers? It is sentient tech, with recognizable human personalities and qualities. They are our vehicles and machines PERSONIFIED. And again, you are reducing it unfairly... The SR-71 is an old jet with a paarachute, and it malfunctions. How is that not fair game?
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Get good health insurance?
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I suppose so. I would never really criticise a guy who can set himself & his family up for life.
But you're right, what he does next would be the test. I mean even McG tried to do something with a bit more creative integrity this year.
Not much, mind you. But he tried. -
...kudos to Bob Orci for showing up to discuss and being a gent about getting slammed left and right. Listen, I dislike - nay, hate - what has been done to Transformers as much as anyone, but if I were a writer I'd also be curious. It has nothing to do with so-called insecurity or being pathetic...it's about being humble enough to come and interact with your movie's audience, even if they're a gang of foul-mouthed, saber-rattling chimps like you lot. I may not like some of Bob's work, but I have to respect him on that count.
Much as I have talked smack about the Orci/Kurtzman duo in other talkbacks, I do think Bay sours the equation. It's no coincidence that their worst work has been with Bay...whereas what they did with Alias was so much better. Likewise with Star Trek, which was flawed but highly entertaining and a fun time at the movies.
Bob...at least you're not at the level of Akiva Goldsman. Great to have you on the forum. I hate the Transformers films, though. I know you can't answer this for a variety of reasons, but I do wonder if what ended up on the screen truly exceeded your expectations for this film. Did it match the vision you and Alex saw in your heads? Do you think a more storytelling-oriented director (say, Peter Jackson or Bob Zemeckis) would have fared better with the material? I know it can be understandable to get defensive because this is, after all, your baby, but do you see where many of the reviewers are coming from? Cheers. -
I think it's made something like £8 million (is that $12 million?) at the UK box office. Even though people who even went in with an OPEN mind seemed to hate it. I mean, who is telling their friends that they should go see this?
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The "pissing" scene from the first one. Was it really intended as that? Also who were the Decepticon Balls modeled after? Megan Fox or Key Grip - Les T. Tomita?
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Regardless of what I think of the movie, I think it's great to have the chance to air our views & have them heard.
I wonder if he'll answer your question though. That's the kinda question that can get a man fired!
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I guess recreating complete scenes from other action movies (including one from the same franchise) is creative these days.
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Who the fuck is that asshole? Whats his screen name? Did you even meet this guy?
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Of the cast and crew of the Transformers movies. Which one was your favorite toy? Probably get a bunch of, what toy? responses though.
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what is the point of making a movie based on characters who've been popular for a long, long time & then changing them?
If characters have been popular for so long, it's obvious that they work. In fact, if I had the job of writing those movies, the chances are, I'd be far more confident making them as much like the succesful characters as possible.
Is it a need to put your own stamp on it? Because they didn't need to be changed. So why?
& while I'm here ONE BIIIIIIIG QUESTION...............
Bumblebee has a voice at the end of TF1. It's gone again in the sequel. How? -
...that the films Bob has cited as influences, such as Back to the Future & Raiders were basically the anti-Transformers 2. They had charm, great narrative, interesting characterizations, wonderful pacing, witty humour, heart, etc. This is obvious to Bob, of course. So compare what inspired you to what you're doing now...what happened? Far be it from me to blame you if you sold your Orci soul for a moolah-filled payday cause I would have done it too. But still...the possibilities for this franchise were so much greater.
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Come on guys, its not Citizen Kane. But I came back with the rebuttal stating that Transformers: The Movie was actually Citizen Kane last performance, his swan song if you will. How does that feel to be working with such a concept that the great Orson Welles had once worked with? Is the idea of Unicron ever brought up in meetings, and quickly shut down because of fears of the comparison? What do you think Orson Welles would say about the final film if he were alive today?
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...Arlington Road. The film had issues and was contrived as hell, but I enjoyed it and felt he did something very interesting with it. He also adapted The Ring for the US market, competently so. I remember making a mental note, "hmm, I'll keep an eye out for his work."
If I had only known then his magnum opus was yet to come, robotic scrotum in tow... -
Kruger take the blame for Decepticon Testies? Well he did give us the Ring..... which I guess was good if you were a 12 year old girl and got scared by the site of Brian Cox.
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"I know you can't answer this for a variety of reasons, but I do... did it match the vision you and Alex saw in your heads? Do you think a more storytelling-oriented director (say, Peter Jackson or Bob Zemeckis) would have fared better with the material? I know it can be understandable to get defensive because this is, after all, your baby, but do you see where many of the reviewers are coming from? Cheers."Hard to answer in a way because the process in this one was so different. From the day the strike ended to the first day of shooting was exactly 3 months or something, so we had to be generating pages every day and giving them to Bay and having him add his two cents and simultaneously prep the movie, and then giving us notes and us generating more pages etc... And then we were on set, and then we were with him endlessly in the editing room rewriting the movie some more... so it's not like in some cases where you just hand off a script and don't know what happened to it until the movie comes out and you wonder how it got from A to z. We're with Bay every step of the way fighting the good fight.
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Tick Tick BOOM! Wasn't out before the trailer of Arlington Road was made, maybe it could have turned it into the a hit movie. Just like it did for Outlaws.
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Good talkback going on and I've been missing it. GAH! I'd like to take this chance to officially thank Bob for making this one of the better talkbacks I've ever had, and for answering so many questions. It takes a lot of balls to face talkback. Mad props.
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You don't mean "Boom! Boom! Shake Shake the Room!" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, do you? Because that was '93.
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Its fucking late as balls to boot.
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... too easy.
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Crappy Salvia song. It was in the trailer for American Outlaws, starring that thing from James Caan's nut sack and Colin Bullseye. http://tinyurl.com/m8vs67
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For western violence? As apposed to what other form of violence? Does Hood violence constitute an R? And suburban violence a PG?
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You shut your mouth. There is no way in this black cold earth that he did it souly for lunch money.
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thanks, even those who hate it, for at least sitting through it. Until next time...
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Big Decepticon Balls.
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I went for the action, and was not let down. There are really nice sci fi concepts going on here much more than the first movie.
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I got a leaked copy online about a month ago, though it was just a rough cut and the studios said that it wasn't the final version. That some scenes were unedited, and the CGI wasn’t finished. So I'll probably see the final film in theaters this week to see if there is any difference. Like maybe a Decepticon hand reaching through the rubble at the end and getting Deadpools head or something.
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G'night Bob...thanks for taking the time, mate.
Anyway, you guys have to read this review. My homepage is msn .com and as the central news item is their new review for Transformers 2. I encourage you to go take a look, but here are a few lines:
"And, to deal with the token objections of the film's defenders, I have an inner child; he's just not an inner idiot. And if how much money something made had any correlation to how good it actually is, doctors would recommend you get more cocaine instead of more leafy greens. And no, I can't shut my brain off and have fun, anymore than I could rip out my tongue and enjoy a meal, because my brain is where I feel fun. And I could talk about the plot and characters and performances of "Revenge of the Fallen," but why should I care about those things when it's so clear that Bay doesn't?"
"The action is badly cut, confusing and incoherent, with no sense of space or distance or dynamism aside from close-ups of brutal blows and long shots of explosions. The effects are either too swift to be truly seen (Wasn't one of the pleasures of the Transformers toys slllllllowly ... clicking ... each change into place?) or so phony you can't bear to look. "Revenge of the Fallen" isn't good; it's just expensive, and while Michael Bay can't tell the difference between those things, a reasonably intelligent person can."
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is not as bad as "Transformers"; somehow, in the face of long odds, it is actually worse. Where the first "Transformers" was clumsy, "Revenge of the Fallen" is paralyzed with its own stupidity. I literally could not stop laughing out loud during "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" -- not at the moments intended as comedy, which are not funny in any way, but rather at Bay's superhuman ability to look at his own film and not see that it's nothing but broken bits, desperate distractions and empty explosions. (I can imagine Bay braying "Wonderful! Cut! Print!" after every scene regardless of its quality, Ed Wood with hundreds of millions of dollars, not just hundreds.)"
"If you tell me you loved "Revenge of the Fallen" -- really, truly, loved it without reservation or complaint -- then you've essentially told me you can't tell something from nothing, good from bad, craft from cost. The best thing about "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is that it's perhaps the funniest movie of the year. The worst thing is that ticket-buying masses will shower stupid spectacle with success one more time because they don't want, need or expect anything better from big Hollywood."
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involved in these movies. But the first clearly demonstrated that none of them know the first thing about The Transformers property. Trying to boil it down to just "They are our vehicles and machines PERSONIFIED" is so far off the mark, that I makes me feel embarrassed. I get the impression that they are willfully trying not to get it closer.
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He probably thinks Bruce Campbell is a good actor
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Jun 24, 2009 3:49:40 AM CDT
"I play a planet. I menace somebody called Something-or-other. T
by ironic_name
maybe harry can be in pt3!
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http://tinyurl.com/n9hu3k
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Jun 24, 2009 4:26:10 AM CDT
" having influenced an entire generation of action movies...whet
by ol' painless
Indeed, sir. I do not like it. At all. Not one infinitesimal iota.
And I bid you GOOD DAY. -
Shit, the kid in the movie had a Cloverfield poster on his wall. Now that film sucked.
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Bay SUCKS! And stop hitting the Enter key by accident. My apologies.
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Given what we have seen he will have a gigantic cannon which of course will be on his groin and look exactly like a gigantic cock, the cannon cock will actually be a transformer called Strap-on, and of course can fire a yellow laser or a far more lethal white one, yes I know all very subtle.
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Definetely needs more panties shots, in fact we need to have Megan Fox attacked by Vibrator, ohh the kids will laugh when he is drilling her butt
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After this heaping pile of shit, the entire Theater cheered and roared with applause as if they just watched the Godfather. I went to the 12:01AM showing PST. After I got out, there was more people waiting in line to see the 3:15am shows then any other shows that night. The fucking theater, the parking lot, the concession area, everything, as If it was 1:00pm on a Saturday afternoon. This nightmarish experience is going to eviscerate the box office. And Bay going to be rewarded with another Sequel. I'm done with Transformers until the eventual reboot in 2020.
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Sam will of course be a pimp for high class escorts, can't have any ugly ones, Bumblebee will have a disco ball and those spinning rims
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Starring:
Bumble-Bitch
Mega-Tramp
and introducing, Star-Squeel.
I liked this movie about as much as I like the first one. It was medicore but nothing to get angry over. After all the money that the first one made, why would anyone expect and better effort and/or changes to be made for the sequel?
The masses loved it at the 12:01 showing I went to, clapping and loud applause various times through the movie, and the biggest shock I had was that a lot of young women came to the show, and not the typical geeky-hot chicks that some quasi-geek dudes have managed to score, I am talking about ladies you would never expect to be there. Is the Megan Fox/Shia bullshit from these flicks really all it takes to bring in females? -
I'm probably going to be forced to see this with uncle's 13 year step-son, yes my uncle is an asshole
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you are are all just jelous becase you willl never do anthing with your liveas awsome as how awsome this movie is so just shjut fuck up then andmegan fox is hottestt girl in world and wayhoter than your girlfirend if you evem has one wich you proberly dont becase your so booring reely !just go to see this moive to makes it most sucessfull movie ever made so to make michel bayt make tramsformers 3 in next year or theyaer after that beacase nobobody is as good to make these movies as micheal bay is becase he know how to make the actoin look cool andthe affcts so go see it then !if i ever see see anybody who dont like this movie in reel life i will punch pfuck out of them becase, they dont deserve cool thinbgs and they are not gratful are they then .micheal bayr ules and this mivie is best movie e er amd is not racist so shut fuck up sereosly becase yuou are all idoits !i hope this moive make $2billon dollars becase it will proof your wrong and it willproof that america is most best countryt and that micehjal bay is best directing !NICHEAL BAY RULES ANDTRANSOFORMERS 2 RULES !i have some ideas about what to do fro transformer 3 but there dsecret .
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Do you take pride in almost every completed *filmed* project you and a buddy co-write, or just take a fat paycheck and shut up from the sideline?
Is TF2 one of the low points of your writing career because your name is on the credit, judging the execrable reviews of the movie?
Is the final product result of TF2 entirely the fault of Michael Bay and the producers - and you regret having contributed to a story that ends up being relentlessly butchered by the filmmakers, but resign to the fact Hollywood works just the way it is?
By the way, I hated Star Trek re-booted. IMdb.com removed my negative review of the movie, twice, for calling the movie a tedious revenge yarn ripped off from a Final Fantasy video game with reference to director's "coke-snorting" for using lens glare visuals to obnoxious effect. Try imitating Shakespeare and rise above the crap. You're lucky to have made it to a lucrative screenwriting career, because even your recent movie scripts would end up being tossed into the trash bin by studio script readers were it not for your lucky break. Hollywood bigwig idiots sure have short attention span and they need hack screenplay lackeys as slave chimpanzees with half-functioning typewriters. -
What are your thoughts about the recent Burger King controversy? You think the Mexicans had a legitimate gripe? I mean, they are on average a smaller people, so why shouldn't they be portrayed as a veritable midget next to a white cowboy, right?
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Sorry...I watch movies for the stories. Bay sucks. End of discussion.
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five box tops from Pop Tarts. I'm trying to decide between Transformers or GI Joe. Big cheesy movies with lots of CGI and 'splosions." I'm leaning towards Joe because of Quaid.
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Spread the word.
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Log in, give accurate score, log out. It only takes a few seconds. I think the studio has got all of its staff to give this film 10/10. Make it right.
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about parents who haven't got much money and who can maybe only take their kids to see one film this year. This is not what kids deserve. This is a fucking atrocity of a film in every possible way. It demonstrates an absolute lack of quality control from top to bottom. Shame on everyone involved with this wholly unnecessary ego-trip of a film. It's a fucking embarrassment.
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get the fuck outta here, bullshit! What fucking disgrace, trying to pull a McG and make excuses. Bullshit.
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Seriously. Stop wasting everyone's time on that.
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I may not like McG or Brett Ratner AT ALL, but if he showed up here on Talkbacks, I wouldn't be so rude to insult him to his (internet) face every single time I posted. I'd probably just ask a few questions, politely express my displeasure as if I were face to face with him, and then ignore him for the rest of his time here. But some of you seem to relish in peppering your posts to BobOrci with as many insults as possible. One of the very few Talkbackers (ie, the only one without a blackbox) who everyone knows is a real person and not some anonymous troll on the other end. Its just asshole behavior. Its definitely not professional. And honestly, it makes me disappointed in a lot of you. Dark Shite did it right. He insulted and joked and when he realized BobOrci was the real deal, he cut back and became civilized. I'm surprised many others of you can't.
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Before being called out by Massawyrm: "If you think Mudflap and Skids are meant to be "black," it says more about you than it says about Bay." "So, only black people have fake gold teeth, Massa? And only black people can't read? Like I said, if you watch these two characters and immediately think "BLACK PEOPLE!" then you've got the problem." After being called out by Massawyrm: "I don't think you're a racist and I never claimed you were. I didn't have the same reaction to the characters as you did, that's all."
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Though maybe it's easy to take criticism when you are well paid , not all of us can afford to hunt poor people and snort cocaine of the thighs of some sold into slavery kidnapped 16 year old virgin
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Jun 24, 2009 8:57:58 AM CDT
"We're with Bay every step of the way fighting the good fight."
by conspiracy
So there is the truth of it...from the dirty script punching sell out fingers of "Boborci" himself.Bay may be one of the primary directors today turning film into complete garbage, but ultimately guys like Orci make such stupidity possible. I can't blame them for wanting to make a truck load of bucks...I just want to know why they can't do it while not insulting the audience and respecting their craft.
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if we aren't already.If THIS is the level of artistry and creativity it takes to make it in Hollywood these days most of us here could write just as well. Fuck...most 6th graders could do it...and judging by this fucking mess they might actually have. Hey..is THAT the secret Bob? do you have kids? Are THEY the ones who actually write your scripts? Or perhaps you just stand outside Disneyland and ask random 8yr olds what they think is funny and turn those random comments into a movie filled with those same random scenes. Kinda genius actually.
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I'll remember what you said up above for when I get rich and famous.
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"snort cocaine off the thighs of some sold into slavery kidnapped 16 year old virgin"Damn...you sure can paint a pretty picture. lmao
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Jun 24, 2009 9:15:06 AM CDT
By th eend of the week the GOP will be raking this over
by six demon bag
and the "liberal media"
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it was all about the money. I just made this crap all for the money. Admit that and I will respect you a lot! Honesty is the best policy.
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for the story...it got a polish?can the real boborci confirm this?
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these TBers wouldnt have the balls to do it face to face...its alot easier to do it anonymously though hiding in a basement.
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Its one thing to anonymously trash each other, as no one here knows each other, we can't put a face to one another, none of us are "real" in that sense. And its usually always over a difference of opinions; we don't just start being a dick for fun (well, not all of us anyway). So it always strikes me as odd when a "real" person shows up and I see who takes it as an opportunity to just let the insults fly.
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Jun 24, 2009 9:30:24 AM CDT
Best question of the TB, Bob failed to answer.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
"Also who were the Decepticon Balls modeled after? Megan Fox or Key Grip - Les T. Tomita?"
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I'm in California. I don't have a fucking basement.
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Jun 24, 2009 9:32:25 AM CDT
Roberto Orci = Josef Mengele, The Angel of Death
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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...if I did I would have been in here more last night telling to him to gargle my fucking piss.
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Just saying, he loved that piece of shit, so this actually might actually be good
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How do we know if that is actually Orci, could be just some guy fucking around. As D.Vader says, "we can't put a face to one another"
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You can all stop playing with your balls now.
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what the hell is happening here. only good summer movie was star trek
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And I didn't know Mori or Massa or Harry confirmed it, but I started seeing him pop up randomly a few months ago and I thought "Who would make that their screenname?" Honestly, who would? The only reason anyone would take a celebrity's name for their TB handle is to tarnish his character, to make him seem like an idiot or an asshole. Instead, this BobOrci was very self-deprecating and for the most part had a somewhat witty retort that undercut any insults that were thrown his way. He sounds like the real deal. I'm pretty sure its him because I can't imagine an intelligent person wasting their time impersonating a much-maligned screenwriter.
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....we all know how he will respond. And some people find very odd things funny. It wouldn't surprise me if it was one big joke. I've seen that guy in random TB's unrelated to him the past few months. You know how much fucking shit he's attached to? No way in hell would he sit in a TB for hours....
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i did get accused for being Steve Kasan when I was just only helping the guy. Still, doesn't excuse him for making such a trash movie. I mean, there's all this effort and time put into this production, have some thought at least!
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...and the masses open their mouth wider for more! Film at 11!
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Morphine bender, with the writer nodding in and out of consciousness, thinking that he’d already written what happened in his dreams and simply picking back up where the dream left off." Poetry. To think that tons of morons stayed up until 2 in the morning wasting their time with this garbage on the early-opening.
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2009 is looking even more disappointing than 2007
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I guess we won't really know unless Harry really truly super hardcore confirms it one day. I guess I'll continue to buy it and you'll continue to deny it.
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hes baby has just been released, i would stay home and check the reviews too
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and STARGATE UNIVERSE is showing after two months so its not all bad
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because logical arguments simply won't work on a guy, who if it is really him, makes millions of dollars a year peddling this cinematic swill to troglodytes who think Explosions=quality. Logic fails...the numbers prove it. Why SHOULD he change a thing...he is filthy rich off this crap, he is the Walmart of Writers. I don't blame HIM, if I could make that kind of $$$ sitting at home over a weekend and writing an entire move while high as a kite, and you know this entire franchise was written just so, I'd do it too...but I wish HE would at least be honest and tell US, people who see through this nonsense, that he is only in it for the money and does not give a fuck about artistic integrity or respecting his craft or the audience. THIS is why we insult...because it is all we have...Bob has all the bullets, all we can do is throw our rocks; and throw them we shall.
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that the masses will eat up.
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I will respect you, IF that is you. Honesty is the best policy.
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Not with insults. Honestly, he doesn't give a shit about you if you're just going to insult him. If he's an intelligent fellow, he'd rather hear some good criticism and engage in debate than just trade insults back and forth. That will get you nowhere, trust me. Don't we know that by now? This is AICN. When has an insult volley EVER gotten anyone to admit they're wrong? Answer: Never.
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his scripts are the level of tennessee williams until that bay ruined them! yeah riiiiiight...
I watched an hour of TF2 last night and turned it off. -
So you're saying it's okay to trash someone (in this case, deservedly so for his part in a truly wretched sript) in overall consensus, universally and ad nauseum but as soon as they grace us with their presence they get a pass? Fuck that. I give Orci credit for coming in here and facing the peanut gallery but everybody knows what they are getting into when they step into the AICN Wild Wild West TB's. Just as I'm sure that when I told Orci to go take a flying leap he understood I was doing so metaphorically. I don't actually wish death on the man for a shitty script, I'm sure he has a family who loves him. I'm just sick of him trashing canon to lesser results and I had the opportunity to tell him and I took it. If I were to have this opinion of his work, post it and then backpeddle and give him a reacharound when he shows up, that would be hypocrisy and I ain't about that. Besides, I'm sure Orci wiped away his tears with his millions, so don't feel too sorry for him. Sheesh.
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that yesterday. I'll the idiots stand in line for shit like TF2.
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TF2 is in theaters, how did you turn it off?
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When you can get a major studio to write off on a script that as high points contains; Robot Balls, obvious lifted racial stereotyped "Jigabots" who as Icing on the cake CAN NOT READ, farting robots, robots dry humping a girls leg, and human characters whose only quality is the ability to scream, run, or look good in a skirt...I say anyone can do it. And perhaps we should.These Talkbacks are FULL of people who obviously have a brain...our flame wars and insults have more creativity than this unholy mess...maybe those of us who are not actively writing for a living should give it a whirl. If this film is representative of what it takes to "make it"...again I say anyone can.
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peeple who dont like this movie is not american and not patroit then and they are jelous of ameriac being numberone in the world !transormers 2 is new styl of of movie and is nwe americn styel from now on becase its most sucessful movie or it iwill be !if youdont pay to see this movei then youare againt america then !ameica is best and stronger than all of other countrys in the the world !i cheerd in england after movei over america is bumber one america is is number one america is numb er one and all england gfags laufings wehn they gobecase there jelous of america !
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Is that insulting a "real" person who comes here to discuss isn't going to make me feel like more of a man. Plus it'd just make me look like an asshole. I'll bitch about McG's dumbass ideas for Terminator sequels and original endings all I want on here, and if McG showed up and mentioned it, I'd politely tell him I think those ideas are horrible (and I'd explain why). But I seriously doubt I'd call him a fucking dumbass right off the bat. Guess that's just me.
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Jun 24, 2009 10:34:26 AM CDT
D.Vader -- No one here has an ounce of respect for him.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
We don't give a fuck about hurting Orci's feelings, nor do we give a fuck about learning a damn thing from that unoriginal cunt. Sometimes it just feels good to lob a handful of shit into someone's face.Not everyone here is impressed with industry people like you are.
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movies like this give me hope to one day be able to make it in the industry, thats like my dream. but TF2 turned out like this because their hearts werent in it or they knew the pple would eat it all up now matter what. i didnt see the movie but you mentioned robots dry humping a girls leg? jesus it cant be that bad
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Jun 24, 2009 10:36:48 AM CDT
conspiracy, anyone can do it but we better be good at...
by kenshiro_187
sucking cock. Only logical explanation I see for orci, kurtzman, shia, meagan fox, practically everyone involved. Maybe we should all band together and make our own since, like you have said, even our insults have more creativity that their shit.
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Talk shit about them for kicks, but play nice when they actually show up. Fuck that. Respect to any TB'er here that learns someone is the real deal and continues to tell them to go fuck themselves.
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i was looking forward to T4 and it sucked robot balls and now TF2 also sucks robot balls. i mean thats the only thing that was supposed to be cool about 2009, oh wait hold on a second, stargate universe is premiering on October two month from now, YAY!!! IM SAVED!
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Anybody coming to the AICN TB's to feel more "like a man" has more issues than Orci. For myself, I never called him any names, I only, as I said, took him to task for trashing canon to far lesser results, and then I, metaphorically, invited him to kill himself.
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would you like it if the whole world gets to see your work and then criticize it? you guys, the ones that do a half-assed job should be lucky that no one gets to see your work except for that one boss.
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your nickname alone is offensive and shows what kind of imbecile you are, you need to talk no more.
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Ask them a question and call them out on their bullshit when (if) they respond. That's all I'm saying. I call Harry out on his bullshit all the time bc he's continually shoving it in our faces with his BS statements about ScriptGirl or that stupid Wolverine debacle. I definitely see a difference bt insulting Harry in a situation like that and calling Orci "fuckface" or something like that. Besides, I *would* like to see more Industry people interact here. One, it'd be a good way to get some insight into the process. Two, its a good way to air our grievances without resorting to childish behavior. Yeah, that's what this site is known for, and that's probably exactly why a lot of people avoid it and couldn't give two shits about what we think. Tell Orci you think his movies are shit and move on. Call him a dick when he gives you a response you don't believe. All I'm saying is to do it right off the bat? Just dickish behavior that won't get you anywhere.
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If it were McG, I would definitely be sure to stop by and say "Hey McG- your ideas suck. Your original ending for T:S is terrible, and your idea for the sequel sounds like a 12 yr old fantasy."
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and get yourself a copy.No matter your feelings on internet "Piracy" once you see this thing you'll be glad some Pirate saved you $12 at the theater.
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I wasn't talking about you.
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Dioxholster- What you are trying to bait me into is precisely the kind of flamewar bullshit that I've never indulged in on this site but please, feel free to deepthroat Orci all you like.
D.Vader - Again, I never called Orci a name "off the bat" or otherwise. -
is pussy. that will end our childish insults
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Jun 24, 2009 10:57:49 AM CDT
D.Vader -- you keep saying "Dickish behavior.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
..won't get you anywhere." Nobody is asking for a fucking thing from that prick. Insight from Roberto Orci? Thats funny. People weren't flocking to him and jumping at the chance to talk to him, and when he left no one seemed to give a fuck. I don't understand how you expected people to react. If no one respects the twat, they're not gonna give a fuck about hurting his feelings or driving him away.
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i heard it somewhere but i just dont believe it. makes you wonder how silly i was to be upset at that one masturbation joke in the first transformers.
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Because conspiracy said "logical arguments won't work with this guy." And actually, there were quite a few questions tossed to the guy about what were his ideas, what were Bay's, etc.
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So after seeing this...How much better is T4???? Right? SHOCKER Transformers sucked..the first one was horrible...and it must have been super horrible because Megan Fox didn't get one shot out
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As are the writers. They know they have produced expensive shit and the only way to stifle the guilt is to come here and behold the hate. I give Orci full props for popping in but what it comes across as a guy smiling sheepishly with a white flag. Farting robots. Yeah, that really makes the Robots more human than human. Imagine the colossal weight of Spielberg, Bay and the cast watching dailies of robohumping and shucknjive robots and then lying to each other about how great it is. That's Hollywood.
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then he should know that i appreciate his work as always and that he is a great creative person who knows how to draw a crowd.
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sounds like it was Kruger...the mastermind behind Scream 3!!! yay!
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or else they wont be having those jobs! they have been doing this kind of work for years and they havent been dropped, so not only are they talented but experienced to boot. we TBers are just pple who got nothing else better today than judge others, others who work up a sweat everyday to deliver us some entertainment to our boring mundane stargate-free lives.
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you need to set the record straight bro.
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And 3 posts about me, thank you. IF that is you, come on buddy, just admit it, all about the money.
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You can tell by the straight-up illiteracy. And then the tired Bay excuse of "This isn't some arty film - this is entertainment!" 90 percent of the hacks making bad films fall back on this excuse.
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it is all about the entertainment, what the fuck are you getting at?
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The movie is fine entertainment....I am beginning to wonder what the criteria is to be an enjoyable summer film here....I suspect that in your neverending effort to find flaws in the movie, you missed enjoying it....
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Jun 24, 2009 11:46:36 AM CDT
8% AWAY FROM 'BATMAN AND ROBIN' AND CLOSING!
by edgarwrights_prolapsedanus
SOURCE: ROTTEN TOMATOES. Currently it's at 20%.
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The Talkbacks are what makes this site the shizznit!
M Bay says he's not interested in directing another TF movie. OF COURSE NOT!! Given this piece of SHIT, Who in their fucking right mind would give you the chance? TWAT. -
The talkbacker turned director Jeff Mahler. He made the movie Inside that co-stars the now famous Leighton Meester, so maybe it'll get some more DVD push and TV time. Its an interesting little horror movie. Anyone know his screen name? I know Harry talks about him all the time.
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theres a difference between calling somebody out for making an inferior product and just incoherently lobbing obscenities at them. and you cant tell me that peoples actions in TBs arent how they would act in public.all these people talking shit right now are doing it in the comfort of their own home or office. if speilberg was shopping at the mall right now, and you were with your family, you're telling me you would walk over there and "tell him to gargle your piss" or something to that effect because you feel indy 4 was an abomination. seriously?
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RACISTS IN DISGUISE
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Does big bucks in your pocket mean you and your buddy must appeal to the lowest common denominator? Come on, you're a "writer" are you not, can't you guys come up with better humor?
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Sounds like a breed of whale or something.
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half you idiots don't know shit about movies. you watch and expect be emotionally moved by pop corn flicks? all i want in movies is to be entertained. escape the real work for a few min. i WANT my brain turned off. who wants to see depressing shit movies like the fuckin READER. MOIVES like TF2 aren't made for plot and story. thats a only plus. so stop bashing it and go sit on a broom stick. or make your own goddamn action oscar winning piece of shit moive that we all know you can make so much better than any one else in hollywood. too bad your not able to get the money to do it though.
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No matter where I stand or sit. And it has gotten me in trouble numerous times over the years, I probably should learn to shut up. Probably because I was a spolied brat growing up.
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hope she can stomach it.
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...sadly TF is too FUCKED to be rescued.
Where the fuck was Spielberg? Taking a fucking dump somewhere?!?!? -
In which all the big directors from the 70's sat around and talked about how those were the best movies ever made. Then Star Wars and Jaws came along and fucked everything up. Looks like Steven is just taking that to a new level now. They said it wasn't Stevens or Lucas' fault for their movies blowing up and what happened next. After seeing these past couple years of movies they've made, seems like it was part of the plan.
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thats pretty funny.
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He would proceed to actually drop trou and piss in Spielberg's face =).
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Did Bob Orci just get into this talkback & not own up to their brutal raping of our beloved franchise? Those answers suck. Get back in here & tell us why you fucked up Transformers.
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..if i wanted my brain turned off I'd watch C-SPAN!
If i was watching TF2 for free then I would SHUT THE FUCK UP...no question. I PAID to see this shit, give me a STORY!!! It's 2hours 27mins long for fuck's sake...there is only so much crap the human brain can digest!!!!
I'd rather watch John McCain take a dump.... er' well actually... on second thoughts.. nothing is THAT tragic. -
I never claimed I would go up to a person in public and say the exact things I do here. I wouldn't. I'm not fucking insane. I was speaking about Vader saying we should show a little more respect when a person actually shows up here and not just hurl insults. My argument was-- we should act exactly the same when someone's identity is verified. Suddenly all TB'ers are gonna get all polite and gracious? Fuck no. Treat him the same way you would before and after he entered the TB. I was never speaking of a "Real World" scenario. I just don't understand why Vader was acting like Orci deserves respect. He doesn't.
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i understand your point but people are pretty much shit talking and are lobbing insults..THIS IS WHAT THEY SHOULD NOT DO. they can civilly say the film was "not for them" or not his "best effort", but to personally attack him or any other in a way they wouldnt do face to face is COWARDLY. i dont condone that, and neither should you.
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What doc?
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i DO respect Orci, if it is in fact him, coming in here, into the lions den, and answering questions and fielding thoughts and opinions, critical or positive.
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Proof positive that it sucks!
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I'm just talking about civil behavior and discourse.
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It just goes to show that when it comes to big budget films, the "writers" don't write much of anything, and the directors have much more of a hand in the quality of the product. This was why I thought the WGA strike was a complete joke, at least when it comes to big budget movies. At the end of the day their contribution is minimal at best. Tv is a different story.
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Alice. Right in the face. Golden shower. Only this time its "subtle". Bay's wish-fulfillment perhaps?
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Who died, which I thought was just a heart attack, turns out Blows was a lot more personal movie to him then I realized. Called Decade Under the Influence.
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....to sit alongside Batman & Robin and Battlefield Earth (and Indy 4 IMO?) Is it that much of a catastrophe?
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You people are ridiculous. I hate these goddam movies with a passion that burns like hell itself, but you don't treat real people like shit.
I can't stand it when the stupid ass Jehovah's Witnesses knock on my door, but I don't chase them down the street with an axe insulting their religion.
When someone comes to your house for a visit you don't shit in their face period, even if they deserve it, even if it's Nancy Pelosi. -
Didn't he die playing basketball?
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http://is.gd/1bU2R
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What childish pranks we were into so he can include them in the next one. We really should have upped our game while we were her and brought up pedophila and pooping a lot more. But man I brought up the name Unicron and he probably read that, shit now I know whats going to be screwed over in the next movie.
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Jun 24, 2009 12:44:31 PM CDT
Hairy Nutsack speaks the truth. take a chill pill. and treat
by ironic_name
each other with some respect. you cunts.
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...his fat arse collapsed on ye basketball court before the rise of man.
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or just delete it?
I can't possibly imagine anything that I might miss.
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If a movie stinks and you think someone posting on a website wrote said terrible film, how do expect people to respond. Would you rather people staged Iranian style protests in front of the guys home?
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Shitty, his films were extremly watchable. I have seen A Decade Under the Influence. There is also a documentary called Easy Riders, Raging Bulls that is a nice companion to the book. Narrated by William H Macy.
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yeah people need to be civil..but then again, thats what the internet is--a forum to unleash our id. we CAN be rude. we CAN be obnoxious..and there are no consequences. otherwise we would use our REAL names, rather than handles.
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they treat everyone on this site. For some, that means hurling insults when you disagree with them and calling them out. For me, it is just to be respectful but point out where I disagree with them.
I was polite to Bob, whom I am seeing later for drinks, but I wasn't a kiss ass. And I am still disappointed that he didn't answer a lot of the bigger questions, such as is this really the type of films he wanted to make when he started out in this business? -
he had a heart attack induced from cocaine while playing some b-ball outside of philly. there were drugs in his system when he died.i think.
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tell bob to gargle my piss....just kidding.
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Jun 24, 2009 12:57:34 PM CDT
Why the fuck would you play basketball after doing rails?
by stuntcock mike
All I ever want to do is listen to Slayer and punch holes in drywall.
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That's probably because they couldn't get all of the same people they interviewed for the book. That's got to be because most of them thought it was negative towards them. I guess the truth hurts.
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Jun 24, 2009 12:59:05 PM CDT
I wish Rob Zombie would come on here and defend himself
by wickedjester
Now THAT'D be a TB
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in the after life.
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Apparently the book is all half truths and whatnot but I call bullshit there. It's like Richard Dreyfuss said about Julia Phillips' book "You'll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again". He was all pissed off from what she wrote about him until he realized "What actually happened was much much worse"
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Man, if I made a movie that got ripped as bad a T2 is, especially here, but got paid millions to write it and saw that it was still going to be a hit I would be the most petty, gloating asshole you ever saw.
Excepts from that future TB:
conspiracy: you do realize that this movie is a piece of shit don't you? What were you thinking?
Continentalop: About the trip to the Bahamas and the new Porsche I was going to get thanks to my backend points.
DGDB: You are such a fucking hack! Who's idea was it to make those racist characters in this movie, you or that douche Bay?
Continentalop: Sorry, but I don't have time to answer any more questions. Bay just came over with six Maxim models and a bag of Peru's finest. Once I am done banging chicks hotter than anything you've ever met, I will be glad to answer your question. And oh yeah. petergrifin give me your e-mail, I think you've got what it takes to write for Bay. -
Is my real name?
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Say what you will about the guy. He's making exactly the kind of movies he wants. Shit, I like the guys movies.
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Jake LeMotta and his ex-wife, the woman played by Kathy Moriarty, saw a screening of it before it was released. Jake LeMotta was like :WTF? I wasn't like that."
His ex-wife replied "No. You were worse." -
On the human body, I mean?
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Of a drugged up Dennis Hopper getting on the wing of a plane before take off. He thought he was being filmed by Francis Ford Coppola and Wim Wenders at that moment.
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That's the kind of thing I like to see.
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And by some I mean "me".
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Jun 24, 2009 1:12:25 PM CDT
I like Zombie music more than Zombie films....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
........though I think he has it in in him to make a good film, he just needs to get the fuck out of his comfort zone. If he directed a sleazy cop movie set in the 80s, I think it could be gold.
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I'd see that.
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He needs to do a To Live and Die In L.A. sorta thing....but NOT a fucking remake. Just similar style.
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"Script? Fuck the script. I've got THIS"**holds up vial of toot**
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Like an Amistad or Milk type of thing.
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Jun 24, 2009 1:16:25 PM CDT
ironic_name, IF conspiracy and I were to make a movie then...
by kenshiro_187
It will most definately be a better film. And well thought-out. Just because this is a movie about talking robots does not mean it has to be stupid or mindless.
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Jun 24, 2009 1:17:55 PM CDT
Honestly....Zombie directing a 50s coming of age...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...Wonder Years-esque film. I think he could do it.
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must have been similar to the New York New York one.
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But I can't climax. Coke dick prevents that.
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That Zombie should try and do a serious Drama, but I was thinking more in the lines of Slingblade. Take his love of white trash culture and instead of making it a shock fest, make it a love letter to it.
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I bet he's the one director that could change old JD's mind about Catcher in the Rye.
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90 mil opening weekend
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Tony Montana pounding his face into a pile of snow. All day, every day.
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Jun 24, 2009 1:25:46 PM CDT
Cocoon reboot? But Ed McMahon is fucking dead.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Not possible.
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Jun 24, 2009 1:28:33 PM CDT
Alex Trebek...deaths got its eye on your doorstep.
by dannyglovers_dickblood
Sleep tight motherfucker.
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Sort of.
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Jun 24, 2009 1:31:40 PM CDT
Dick Clark VS. Kirk Douglas -- a fight to the death!
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Unless its The Hulk (Ang Lee)....Nope, The Happening was worse.
Thanks for the preview I was on the fence to begin with! -
The Vikings or Spartacus? If it is Kirk Douglas from the Vikings, Clark has got no chance.
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"and some of the robots in this movie are very very naughty"
What the fuck is that? Before we give Orci TOO much credit for coming in here let's remember that this was an accurate random sampling of what he contributed to the conversation. Imagine if Harry had written that in his review! He would've been villified! And a new AICN catchphrase would've been born to rival "chocolate covered pussyjuice." Had it been an average talkbacker who dared to post something so gay he would've been ripped to shreads with a thousand cries of "Fag! STFU!" So before we give Orci too much credit, he never really answered the criticisms but rather gave us the old dodge, feint, parry with "naughty robots" bullshit. -
Yeah, he had a Falcon, but Clark has that giant ball that falls every year.
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"...whom I am seeing later for drinks..."
Hold on, was this a joke? You can't just toss this out there without some explanation.
As for what I would suggest when handling celebrities? Well it's simple really, ask them questions in a reasonable manner and let them vindicate or hang themselves on the basis of their answers.
The now legendary fight between Phategod and Don Murphy, and to a lesser degree myself and some others here, went down just like that. We went to Seibertron.com and asked Don some questions about TF1, we were in someone else's playground so we asked the questions respectfully, and Don went fucking ballistic because he recognized our screennames from here. After that Phategod had his way with Don's bitch ass and the end result was that Don Murphy, producer of the Transformers movie, got himself banned from a Transformers fanboy website. But no one attacked him "face to face" until he himself started hurling the abuse, after that it was war.
Roberto Orci didn't come in here looking for a fight, and for fuck's sake it's just a movie, so acting like a total fucking douche because you don't like some guy's writing is unbelievably uncalled for. If Bob himself had started shit, then by all means, but he didn't, and you fucktards should have enough courtesy to fucking know better.
And let me be very clear, I hate both TF films more than anything else in popular media right now, but even if Bay himself came in here I wouldn't start shit until Bay himself did. -
You got Don Murphy banned? Respek Knuckles.
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...that would apply to these TF talkbacks pretty well: "Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a (movie) is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae." -Kurt Vonnegut
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...I was there for the opening volleys of the war, but the credit for the victory definitely goes to Phategod, his responses to Murphy were epic.
Murphy was being a douche of biblical proportions. On his own website he was writing pages and pages about what fanboy bloggers were saying about TF1. Yes you read that right, Don Murphy was scouring the internet for random fanboy blogs to tear apart on his own message boards. It was the meglomaniacal breakdown to end them all. -
Jun 24, 2009 2:07:14 PM CDT
Here's another question for Bob Orci that won't get answered:
by the new transported man
Why did you bring back Blackout just to kill him off (again) instead of filling the fat, gaping plot hole that is Barricade's disappearance at the end of the first movie? Substitute Barricade for Blackout & you're at 0 plot holes instead of 2. You shithead.
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But we are meeting later to do some lines in the alley next to Boardner's in Hollywood.
And getting the producer Murphy banned from a Transformers TB is professional. Now if you can just get him banned from making movies, you would be all aces with me. -
From the star of "Back to School".
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Jun 24, 2009 2:14:09 PM CDT
I wanna hear Bumblebee speak like Conan O'Brien, not Keith David
by mrmysteryguest
That's what pissed me off about the end of the first movie: we hear Bumblebee speak and he sounds like a 50-year old smoker! That's just wrong! I wanna hear that car talk like a young guy, like they did in the cartoons, not like Count Dooku! Damn you, Michael Bay! That voice was NOT AWESOME!!!!
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i love it when 'reviewers' ask people to skip the movie when they themselves have watched it first. if you pay money to see it, and then tell everyone to skip it, you're not helping the cause. more craps will still get made by your cash. read the review then skip the film.
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...thats that shit High School shit isn't it? Fuck that.
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It's more like ramblings you would find written with feces on the inside of a bathroom stall.
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the drop off be some weekend no.2?
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Well, I have an 8-year-old boy. He likes the 80's cartoon series, he worships the 1986 movie, he has some of my G1 Transformers and quite a few of the new ones. If it weren't for the sonic bombardment, I'd let him watch TF1 at the house more often. There's only so much the wife and I can take of the boom boom. Having said that, he's more excited for this film than anything he's ever seen. And I've been reading all this bile on here, and understand what I'm probably in for, and I can't help but think... I miss having all those un-jaded standards of an 8-year-old. A few weeks ago, I showed him the RT tomatometer for Terminator before we saw it. He was shocked to see something that looked so cool to him get massacred before he even saw it. After he DID see it, he asked me, "What the heck are they talking about online?!? That was AWESOME." Can you imagine if we had the internet back in the 80's? How many classic 80's films that would get completely FUCKED before anyone got a chance to see them? I realize how ignorant this might sound, but to very real degree, the internet and sites like this are a large contributor to my gradual disenchantment as a movie-lover over the years. The negatives far outweigh the positives, and it's just pathetic to watch people get so upset over a fucking MOVIE. Maybe it's time for some people to re-evaluate their priorities in life. I really can't imagine what it would be like to actually know some of you personally. I'm not defending the movie, or Michael Bay for that matter. He seems like a dick to me. Probably why he gets painted as this hate-crime director so often. If his personality was less douchey, I doubt he'd be taking such flak. But either way, folks... I don't go to White Castle expecting culinary bliss. I go expecting to suck down 8 jalapeno cheeseburgers and making the house smell like someone shit in an onion patch for the next 24 hours. How can so few of you understand that this movie/franchise is just a big, long fireworks show? It may not be good story-telling, but the true retardedness comes from the people expecting more from a toy movie directed by Bay. The quality of these movies were sealed as soon as he struck a deal on the first film. Why would so many introspective movie afficianados lay down money to see something they should already know isn't what they want to see??? And then spit and piss blood and venom all over this site after you get exactly what you asked for by paying. Reminds me of the story about the old woman and the snake in Natural Born Killers.
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Jun 24, 2009 3:33:03 PM CDT
DGDB Imagine the horror.. wonder what role his wife would play.
by wickedjester
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Who is Bay stereotyping when you see robots with gold teeth who can't read?
So that I may point my finger at you and yell RACIST! like every other self holier-than-thou douchenozzle on this TB. -
My review.
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I havn't seen it yet, but I'm sure that's what it's like.
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WITH ADDED RACISM.
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Just saw this tonight in the Yoo-Kay. It's EXACTLY what I expected - the first film, multiplied by BAYHEEEEEEMMM!!!. It's NEVER going to be Shakespeare, but hey - at least he hasn't gone Tony Scott yet, who overshot himself so spectacularly with DOMINO and its epilepsy-inducing ADD editing that it makes TF2 look like Zack Snyder's 300. In EVEN MORE slo-mo.
Trust me - Bayhem hasn't hit his nadir yet. When he does, the only beings able to follow it will be fucking hummingbirds.
Oh, and the racist redneck robots were childish. *irony* But still funny. "Hey, man, that HURT!" "It's supposed to hurt, it's an ass-whupping!". Ah, genius. How I long for BAD BOYS III... */irony* -
Soiunds like you've discovered the Holy Grail of we movie-going faithful: the Suspension of Disbelief. I love Shakespeare, some foreign movies (DISTRICT 13 kicks the ass of every other action movie in the last 5 years), and thought-provoking indie flicks. I also love shamelessly exciting popcorn flicks, and big dumb-ass stupid movies about giant robots kicking the shit out of each other.
I think the reason I actually enjoyed TF2 was that I intentionally left my standards at the door. I didn't see it intending to hold it against the standards of a BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN or a MACBETH or an OFFICE SPACE: it's a giant robots fighting movie. Having Megan Fox so breathtakingly photographed is the icing on the cake, but I just expected a movie that went KABLOOOOOOOOOEY-KABOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! for two and a bit hours - and I got it. I think more than a few of these guys ought to chill the fuck out - it's a toy movie. It's NOT going to be Shakespeare, no matter who they got to write it. And throwing Ehren "SCREAM 3 - THE SHITQUEL" Kruger into the mix is just making a bad situation worse.
Guys, it's just a movie. Who gives a shit? -
Much better than my meager TRASHFORMERS (reflects the quality of the movie and what the bots models look like... molded, moving collections of trash).
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Maybe he was from the future and we should have listened to his war cry.
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http://tinyurl.com/met9gc
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As the father of an 8yo boy myself I do understand where you're coming from. At some point this week I will have to hold my nose and pay for us to see this thing, and then I will have to plug my ears and bite my tongue as he rambles on in his lovable manner about how all kinds of awesome this movie is. That's what good parents do, and don't pretend you haven't disagreed with your child about something they thought was incredible when you found it unwatchable.
This forum however is not the forum of my child's opinion. It is a forum designed by and for lovers of film, and as a film student, student of film, and aspiring actor/writer/director/whatever will get my foot in the door I read and write on this forum about something I love and feel passionate about...film. I don't let my son read this forum and I do not share the little pearls of "wisdom" I gather from this website, it's not for him and it has nothing to do with him. -
I hate being late to the party I missed Bob and petergriffith like i said in the last TB peter is proof that retards can be assholes.
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racist. Wasn't that just blackface in reverse? Man, people need to chill out.
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Who's next?
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And it was racist. But who cares.
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All those sterotypes at the mall, yet this site didn't bother to comment on it.
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...did this site comment on Paul Blart at all? Really asking.
Hi Phate, good to see you man!! -
you saw Paul Blart.
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and substitute "Paul Blart" for "White Chicks"
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Is that joke old?
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It didn't happen. One was clearly shown at dawn, the other was clearly dusk. Or vice versa. Every critic on this site walked in with an agenda.
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I don't know about To Live & Die in L.A., but the first iteration I can recall of the line is in Stripes, which predates TL&DiL.A. by a good 4 or 5 years.
And I'm reasonably sure it had popped up a few times before Stripes... -
yeah there were some Blart reviews on here. I think Capone did.
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I was on the road all over the East Coast when that thing came out, with little or no internet access, so reading AICN was impossible.
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A Rene Belloq 12" figure.
I'm just sayin' -
Jun 25, 2009 2:14:09 AM CDT
How do all the robots escape cuts and scrapes after the battle?
by lockesbrokenleg
notice how after every battle, all the robots, even Prime are all in pristine conditon? Notice how the tires screech even driving through sand. Notice how a guy can escape from flying off a pyramid as the thing is being destroyed. Notice how Prime changes sizes. Notice how easy it is for Megatron to be rescue. God, I could go on, but I loved it.
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Dude, my son thinks the Garfield movies are the shit. I can't even sit down for those for 5 seconds. So yeah. We disagree. But TF is common ground. And I can't pretend the eternal 10-year-old in me still doesn't think this shit is awesome. Hell, I used to revere Spectreman and Godzilla back in the day. We had NOTHING like this. And while I agree this site/forum is indigenous of students of film, that doesn't outweigh the opinions of the average consumer, which in this case is primarily 8-12 year old boys and their fathers. What's going on here is the equivalent of ripping apart the Hanna Montana movie and expecting it not to hit with the same demographic on the girl side. It's just not gonna happen. Both of those films are NOT tailored to the film students of the world, or to the people that populate the majority of these talkbacks. But there is a market sector for them, and they're just not going to go away. It's like trying to criticize Walmart into going out of business. It's just not going to happen. If the studios held out on every deal for the next Iron Man/Dark Knight/LOTR on every blockbuster/franchise deal, they'd be banktupt in 2 years. The music industry is the same way. Holding out for lightning in a bottle makes artistic sense. Churning out shit movies in the meantime to remain profitable, unfortunately makes business sense. You can't have it rain quality all the time. And even if it did, studios would be FUBAR. Look at all the Best Picture movies. By and large, they make dick compared to the crappy pap released in the summers. There are occasional exceptions like last summer, but most of the time, they rarely coincide. Look at it this way...some of the worldwide billion that this nasty bitch will rake in will fund movies that the film lovers on this site will actually appreciate.
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Jun 25, 2009 2:49:52 AM CDT
Reference to 2001 then complaining T2 isnt comprehensible?
by jackrabbitslim
Oh for fucks sake, Massa, you may well have valid points, but referring to 2001 in the same sentence where you call Transformers incomprehensible is truly rich. @001 is a true cinematic landmark in many, if not most, aspects ... but the story itself was a mishmash of technological paranoia and pseudo-spiritual nonsense. C'mon son, you can do better than that.
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GIANT PIG!!!
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you're just making excuses for lousy movies. since 8 years old dont know shit from gold, when loud noise trying to pass up as good entertainment we should just accept them and be thankful?
kid/genre films can be made well. look at pixar movies, look at cameron movies, look miyazaki movies. precisely because those great movies existed is why we should no longer tolerate hack job like this stupid robot movie.
i'm exteremely worried of the kind of films that will be made by generations of kids raised on shit like this. -
Jun 25, 2009 7:55:17 AM CDT
So the consensus seems to be it's not racist if
by grammaton cleric binks
the movie sucks, and no one sees it. But if it sucks, and people see it it's racist. Damn I hate todays' PC society. You should be able to laugh at all races. Get a sense of humor. I'm Irish, so here's one for you. What's the difference between and Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? Answer: one less drunk.
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You're watching those films right now, bro. The advent of the internet wasn't the starting point for bad film. It's been going on for decades. The difference now is that people like you have a voice (as do profesional critics) that is much more widely distributed and easily accessible than ever before. The question is...is that sufficient enough to make a difference in the movies being made? Thus far, the answer is a resounding "NO". Apparently, 99.9% of the movie-going public could give a shit about the opinions of professional critics and AICN talkbackers, regardless of ease of exposure to those opinions. I'm not making excuses for lousy movies. I'm just saying there's a target demo out there that doesn't need a Cameron film every 8 years or a Pixar film once a yeaar to get out to see a movie. Your assuming quality is just out there waiting to be had. It isn't. More to the point, the cream rarely rises to the top in art. That's only true in sports, where most variables are quantifiable into stats. If the stats show that certain properties and formulas and directors turn cash, the movie will be made, regardless of quality. Do you really think a world that still continues to support the tobacco industry so vehemently regardless of price per pack is capable of turning down a less than stellar film?
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Most of you Jaded nerds on here shit out your innner child a long time ago.
It was a fun movie which I enjoyed, if you didn't fine, but some of you make it feel like Michael Bay gutted your mother.
Get over yourselves, try to remember what it was like to be 9-12 years old and maybe, just maybe you'll be able to enjoy movies that don't involve japanese horror films and bloodthirsty Rambo movies. -
Uhh, actually the robots do get dents and scrapes after they fight.
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What's even worse are the detractors on here that have already committed THE cardinal sin by paying to go see the movie. I'm pretty sure the advance buzz was abundantly clear and timely enough for them to avoid the film if they really wanted to. And now, their $6 - $15 just net-effected the furthering of the franchise FAR MORE than any possible magnitude of negative reviewing they could churn out on any given website. To make matters worse, nobody is going to listen to an opinion of someone who can't lead by example. If the haters paid for a film they knew was the equivalent of MacDonalds going in, they're in a pretty piss-poor position to direct the rest of the masses away from grabbing a super-size #4 for themselves. This isn't directed to anyone on here personally. I just hope everyone realizes the paradox created by all of this.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), all of this has made me even more interested in seeing it. My standards are now so fine-tuned for this film that I'm actually looking FORWARD to seeing a robot fart a parachute. I'm looking FORWARD to seeing Devestator's junk. I'm looking FORWARD to the dog sex and the robot dry-hump of Megan Fox. I'm looking FORWARD to giggling like a complete jevenile asshole to the shuck-n'-jive bots (god I miss the Chapelle Show).
I haven't been more ready for a film like this since Howard the Fucking Duck ripped out a guitar solo on a mini Les Paul onstage with Lea Thompson in 86.
Bring the pain. BRING IT. -
Jun 25, 2009 11:32:06 AM CDT
Sal Mineo would choke on balls and wouldn't know how they look l
by asimovlives
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Have I seen Transformers 2? No. Do I know it's crap? Yes. How so? Because even though McDonalds tries to convince me it's a restaurant with real food...it's crap. I've eaten there. I know it's crap. I've seen Bay's movies and have peered into his mindset. Michael Bay feels that all our base are belong to him. Meesa won't waste words here critiquing the hairs on a rat's balls. I offer this from The Onion. It says it all.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_bay_signs_50m_deal_to_fuck -
Of course, you'll have to take the bloomin' spaces out of the link, so that it reads
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_bay_signs_50m_deal_to_fuck
which the above likely has spaces too. Cut, paste and backspace, dammit.
Personally, I'd like to see Rosario Dawson put 15 pounds back on and play Cheetara...but that's just me. -
Master of the nutsack tongue bath. Lick away you pathetic DOUCHEBAG. Why don't you whistle while you work you wanker, it gives me a good tickle.
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