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Published on Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 3:10am |
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Hercules Appraises The Depth of ABC’s IMPACT!!
I am – Hercules!!
A shallow, soap-soaked, SciFi-Original-Movie-worthy miniseries from writer Michael Vickerman (“Warriors of Virtue”) about a “brown dwarf fragment” that puts the moon on a 39-day collision course with Earth, “Impact” stars James Cromwell (who was also in the big screen’s similar “Deep Impact”) as well as “JAG” vet David James Elliott (who’s also in NBC’s summer disaster miniseries “The Storm”) and Natasha Henstridge (“Eli Stone”).
As with 1998’s twin disaster epics “Deep Impact” and “Armageddon,” astronauts are ultimately dispatched to fix the difficulty.
“Impact” has its own twin in the NBC miniseries “Meteor,” starring Billy Campbell, Christopher Lloyd and Jason Alexander, coming along in three weeks. I’m not sure astronauts involve themselves with that one, but I’m guessing yes.
(NASA was also involved in dispatching the 8-kilometer chunk of rock headed for Earth in 1979’s big-screen “Meteor” starring Sean Connery and Natalie Wood.)
One of the wackier things about “Impact” is it’s a German production, shot partially in Berlin with German co-stars like Florentine Lahme and Benjamin Sadler player German characters. A language barrier between filmmakers and German TV executives could explain a lot about the miniseries’ terrible dialogue, and it makes one wonder if there’s a whole different, better German-language version, using the same special effects, in which David James Elliott barely speaks.
The New York Times says:
… I didn’t mind “Impact’s” well-paced goofiness, despite really wanting to mind it. …
The Washington Post says:
… what are we to make of a not-scary apocalyptic miniseries -- one in which the "villain" isn't an evil-looking craggy asteroid or meteorite but our own wheel o' cheese moon? … We like the sexy people in "Impact." We just miss the sexy plot.
The Orange County Register says:
… Pretty much all of the dialogue is that bad. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 was still on the air, this piece of Cheez Whiz would rise to the top of the show's list. It begs to be mocked – when it's not lulling you to sleep. …
The Salt Lake Tribune says:
… This plodding, lifeless science-fiction thriller about the moon careening toward Earth has about as much, um, impact as a wet noodle. A lunar disaster of this magnitude has never been so boring. …
The Boston Globe says:
… An apocalypse would be a welcome relief from this wretched disaster knock-off … tells its feeble, scientifically absurd story with a truly shameless dependency on cliches. …
Variety says:
… mostly silliness … the movie proves weakest in creating relationships for the key characters, including Maddie's ethically challenged struggling journalist (as if there's another kind) ex-husband. "Start thinking beyond what we believe is possible," Alex counsels early on regarding the threat. Actually, try not thinking at all, and you'll be better prepared to sit back and be rocked by this shallow "Impact."
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… Unfortunately, despite the title, there's not a lot of dynamism in "Impact." Instead, there's a lot of heel-dragging, such as during a train journey in which a boorish Yank flirts uselessly with the affianced woman, or when characters moon (sorry) over photos of dead loved ones. Viewers sticking with "Impact" aren't looking for insights into the human condition; they're coming for smoking craters, staying for lunar landings and to giggle helplessly at the faux science. So get on with it already. …
9 p.m. Sunday. ABC.

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Reader Talkback
Viewers sticking with "Impact"
aren't looking for insights
into by Geomancer21 | Jun 21st, 2009 04:34:54 AM | It's a prequel to Double
Impact by RICHARD_GERE_RAPED_MY_GERBIL | Jun 21st, 2009 04:52:57 AM | seen part of it... by cifra | Jun 21st, 2009 07:36:05 AM | TNA should So sue by RealDoubleJ | Jun 21st, 2009 08:24:36 AM | "The moon's on a collision
course. . ." by maelstrom_ZERO | Jun 21st, 2009 09:16:15 AM | Geomancer, Without Warning by PhilipMarlowe | Jun 21st, 2009 10:37:33 AM | Space 1999 II Electric
Boogaloo by aboriginal | Jun 21st, 2009 10:45:41 AM | SEE?!? Do you see that? by L.H.Puttgrass | Jun 21st, 2009 11:39:40 AM | typical made for tv sci-fi
movie by Zod_ | Jun 21st, 2009 11:43:03 AM | Coming next summer! by L.H.Puttgrass | Jun 21st, 2009 11:46:46 AM | Soooo 1998. by Raymar | Jun 21st, 2009 12:01:36 PM | The late June scheduling... by DS9Sisko | Jun 21st, 2009 12:03:24 PM | Zarkov was right! by Sir Loin | Jun 21st, 2009 01:44:19 PM | Try Again Execs............ by HollywoodPictures | Jun 21st, 2009 04:02:21 PM | all soaps should be cancelled
and stricken from history by HollywoodPictures | Jun 21st, 2009 04:02:58 PM | Comic Sans by gotilk | Jun 21st, 2009 07:38:39 PM | Nope.
Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!
Nope! by Yeti | Jun 21st, 2009 08:08:44 PM | PhilipMarlowe: $99? to rich
for my blood. by Geomancer21 | Jun 22nd, 2009 02:34:36 AM | Majora's Mask: The Movie by turketron_2 | Jun 22nd, 2009 07:31:10 AM | aboriginal, I was thinking
this is SPACE:1999 by Grammaton Cleric Binks | Jun 22nd, 2009 08:25:33 AM | The Year is 1994 ... a Runaway
Comet by ThusSpakeSpymunk | Jun 22nd, 2009 08:58:19 AM | So I got it only mostly right
... by ThusSpakeSpymunk | Jun 22nd, 2009 08:59:31 AM | It's harmless escapism - get a
life by Sithdan | Jun 22nd, 2009 09:03:02 AM | I do not respect any asteroid
apocalypse movie by smackfu | Jun 22nd, 2009 10:32:10 AM | 2029 will be a fun year by smackfu | Jun 22nd, 2009 10:37:44 AM | They Should Have Just Made a
Space 1999 Miniseries by kevinwillis.net | Jun 22nd, 2009 10:52:29 AM | Greatest miniseries of all
time? by Sithdan | Jun 22nd, 2009 11:35:20 AM | "Without Warning" by Dasinfogod | Jun 22nd, 2009 02:22:54 PM | And just like in "Deep Impact"
and "Asteroid" by tangcameo | Jun 22nd, 2009 04:27:08 PM | Someone should have cashed in
on Space 1999 by now by tangcameo | Jun 22nd, 2009 04:29:38 PM | THAT'S NOT THE MOON!!! by verycoldinspace | Jun 23rd, 2009 03:43:43 PM | LAME by BrannigansLaw | Jun 23rd, 2009 04:17:42 PM | Scientifically flawed... by BrannigansLaw | Jun 23rd, 2009 04:24:37 PM | David James Elliot and German
TV backers? by tangcameo | Jun 23rd, 2009 06:24:31 PM | asd by zenmarc | Jun 28th, 2009 03:27:04 AM |
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