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Hercules Appraises The Depth of ABC’s IMPACT!!

Published at:  Jun 21, 2009 3:10:15 AM CDT

SPOILER ALERT !!

I am – Hercules!!


A shallow, soap-soaked, SciFi-Original-Movie-worthy miniseries from writer Michael Vickerman (“Warriors of Virtue”) about a “brown dwarf fragment” that puts the moon on a 39-day collision course with Earth, “Impact” stars James Cromwell (who was also in the big screen’s similar “Deep Impact”) as well as “JAG” vet David James Elliott (who’s also in NBC’s summer disaster miniseries “The Storm”) and Natasha Henstridge (“Eli Stone”).

As with 1998’s twin disaster epics “Deep Impact” and “Armageddon,” astronauts are ultimately dispatched to fix the difficulty.

“Impact” has its own twin in the NBC miniseries “Meteor,” starring Billy Campbell, Christopher Lloyd and Jason Alexander, coming along in three weeks. I’m not sure astronauts involve themselves with that one, but I’m guessing yes.

(NASA was also involved in dispatching the 8-kilometer chunk of rock headed for Earth in 1979’s big-screen “Meteor” starring Sean Connery and Natalie Wood.)

One of the wackier things about “Impact” is it’s a German production, shot partially in Berlin with German co-stars like Florentine Lahme and Benjamin Sadler player German characters. A language barrier between filmmakers and German TV executives could explain a lot about the miniseries’ terrible dialogue, and it makes one wonder if there’s a whole different, better German-language version, using the same special effects, in which David James Elliott barely speaks.

The New York Times says:

… I didn’t mind “Impact’s” well-paced goofiness, despite really wanting to mind it. …


The Washington Post says:

… what are we to make of a not-scary apocalyptic miniseries -- one in which the "villain" isn't an evil-looking craggy asteroid or meteorite but our own wheel o' cheese moon? … We like the sexy people in "Impact." We just miss the sexy plot.


The Orange County Register says:

… Pretty much all of the dialogue is that bad. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 was still on the air, this piece of Cheez Whiz would rise to the top of the show's list. It begs to be mocked – when it's not lulling you to sleep. …


The Salt Lake Tribune says:

… This plodding, lifeless science-fiction thriller about the moon careening toward Earth has about as much, um, impact as a wet noodle. A lunar disaster of this magnitude has never been so boring. …


The Boston Globe says:

… An apocalypse would be a welcome relief from this wretched disaster knock-off … tells its feeble, scientifically absurd story with a truly shameless dependency on cliches. …


Variety says:

… mostly silliness … the movie proves weakest in creating relationships for the key characters, including Maddie's ethically challenged struggling journalist (as if there's another kind) ex-husband. "Start thinking beyond what we believe is possible," Alex counsels early on regarding the threat. Actually, try not thinking at all, and you'll be better prepared to sit back and be rocked by this shallow "Impact."


The Hollywood Reporter says:

… Unfortunately, despite the title, there's not a lot of dynamism in "Impact." Instead, there's a lot of heel-dragging, such as during a train journey in which a boorish Yank flirts uselessly with the affianced woman, or when characters moon (sorry) over photos of dead loved ones. Viewers sticking with "Impact" aren't looking for insights into the human condition; they're coming for smoking craters, staying for lunar landings and to giggle helplessly at the faux science. So get on with it already. …


9 p.m. Sunday. ABC.







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    Readers Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 3:31:39 AM CDT

    seen it

    by castiel

    the ending was supposed to be very Armageddon like, but came off like an epsiode of stargate sg1. I really was wondering what Cromwell was doing in this. It's standard fare.

    Reply to Talkback

  • they're coming for smoking craters, staying for lunar landings and to giggle helplessly at the faux science.I know thats my only interest in seeing it.Still waiting for "Without Warning" and "Asteroid" to come to dvd. nows theres some good cheese.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 4:52:57 AM CDT

    It's a prequel to Double Impact

    by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil

  • Jun 21, 2009 6:45:03 AM CDT

    Fuck me Black President, asteroidal apocalypse!

    by evilwizardglick

    I've seen that movie.
    Ps US made space tracking a top secret recently.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 7:36:05 AM CDT

    seen part of it...

    by cifra

    laughably bad.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 8:24:36 AM CDT

    TNA should So sue

    by realdoublej

    Hell, if WWE ca stir up publicity by "selling" a show to Donald Trump and picking fights with actual sports teams, Dixie Carter might get a footnote mention in Variety for suing a mini-series.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 9:16:15 AM CDT

    "The moon's on a collision course. . ."

    by maelstrom_zero

    ". . .with the earth!" When I heard that line in one of the previews, I literally laughed for 10 minutes. I'm not sure why I find it so amusing--maybe it's the delivery, or maybe it's the sheer Saturday-morning cartoon absurdity of knowing that the moon's going to hit the earth. In any case, I couldn't stop laughing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 10:37:33 AM CDT

    Geomancer, Without Warning

    by philipmarlowe

    Was released on DVD but looking at Amazon it must be out of print and is only being marketed used at exorbitant pricing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 10:45:41 AM CDT

    Space 1999 II Electric Boogaloo

    by aboriginal

    This time the moon doesn't fly away.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 11:39:40 AM CDT

    SEE?!? Do you see that?

    by l.h.puttgrass

    That's why you don't name your movie after a font! Very bad mojo.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 11:43:03 AM CDT

    typical made for tv sci-fi movie

    by zod_

    It was on moviecentral here in Canada a while back. I watched it.. its pretty average, reminds me of most of sci-fi channels made for tv movies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 11:46:46 AM CDT

    Coming next summer!

    by l.h.puttgrass

    Impact 2: BOLD! What will you do... ...when the dark side of the moon is coming for you?!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 12:01:36 PM CDT

    Soooo 1998.

    by raymar

  • Jun 21, 2009 12:03:24 PM CDT

    The late June scheduling...

    by ds9sisko

    ...should have been a first and only clue.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 12:52:33 PM CDT

    Oh yeah, this aired in Germany 1 or 2 months ago.

    by derlanghaarige

    Got no idea if anybody watched it and if they watched it, I don't think that anybody liked it. It's just interesting that I hear for the first time about it's international cast! (But to be fair, they didn't advertise ANY of the actors, as far as I remember.)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 1:44:19 PM CDT

    Zarkov was right!

    by sir loin

  • Jun 21, 2009 4:02:21 PM CDT

    Try Again Execs............

    by hollywoodpictures

    Sounds like shit!!!!! you will die penniless. I will be rich.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 4:02:58 PM CDT

    all soaps should be cancelled and stricken from history

    by hollywoodpictures

  • Jun 21, 2009 7:38:39 PM CDT

    Comic Sans

    by gotilk

    Ripping any aesthetic taste you had from you in less than 3.5 hours.(without commercials, over three nights) Starring Leslie Nielson, William Shatner and introducing Charlene Tilton. Guest starring Todd Bridges as the young scientist destined to save the planet. (but they wouldn't listen until the last minute, when it was almost too late)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 8:01:31 PM CDT

    I'm gonna try watching it

    by melvin_pelvis

    Samantha Ferris is in it and she pleases me

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 21, 2009 8:08:44 PM CDT

    Nope. Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!Nope!

    by yeti

    I'm over European produced genre movies, mini-series, and shows.
    Mine is a fromage free zone.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 2:34:36 AM CDT

    PhilipMarlowe: $99? to rich for my blood.

    by geomancer21

    Though what they were trying to do was ruined by the near constant disclaimers and the fact they got John Delancy (Q from Star Trek) as a field reporter. I still liked the movie, but won't be paying $99 for a 90 minute movie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 7:31:10 AM CDT

    Majora's Mask: The Movie

    by turketron_2

  • Jun 22, 2009 8:25:33 AM CDT

    aboriginal, I was thinking this is SPACE:1999

    by grammaton cleric binks

    in reverse.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 8:58:19 AM CDT

    The Year is 1994 ... a Runaway Comet

    by thusspakespymunk

    ... passes between the Earth and the moon, UNLEASHING COSMIC DESTRUCTION!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 8:59:31 AM CDT

    So I got it only mostly right ...

    by thusspakespymunk

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhAobPugvsk

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 9:03:02 AM CDT

    It's harmless escapism - get a life

    by sithdan

    Some people take these things way too seriously. Considering the miniseries' outlandish plot (moon on a collision course with Earth), you've to to check your disbelief at the door in order to fully enjoy it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 10:32:10 AM CDT

    I do not respect any asteroid apocalypse movie

    by smackfu

    where anyone 'saves the day'. When I watch a movie about an huge asteroid hitting the moon/earth, I want to see some representation of what's actually going to go down, because humans deflecting large asteroids with our current technology is about as plausible as deflecting a freight train with a can of compressed air.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 10:37:44 AM CDT

    2029 will be a fun year

    by smackfu

    because that's the year the Apophis asteroid comes so close it actually cuts between Earth and our satellites (please hit Fox or CNN), altering it's trajectory slightly. So on April 14th, 2029, we'll find out whether or not it will collide with us in 2035.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 10:52:29 AM CDT

    They Should Have Just Made a Space 1999 Miniseries

    by kevinwillis.net

    Call it space 2099 or something like that. Bring back Martin Landau. That would be awesome. This sounds boring.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 11:35:20 AM CDT

    Greatest miniseries of all time?

    by sithdan

    It just might be.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 2:22:54 PM CDT

    "Without Warning"

    by dasinfogod

    Thanks for the heads-up, Geomancer21. I had no idea that "Without Warning" is out of print. Just checked on Amazon and used copies are going for $150-200 range. And to think I picked up my copy in a bargain bin at Walmart!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 4:27:08 PM CDT

    And just like in "Deep Impact" and "Asteroid"

    by tangcameo

    ...Western Canada or Saskatchewan will be struck first. It was Western Canada in Deep Impact and southwest Saskatchewan in NBC's 90s miniseries "Asteroid". I predict the next first strike will be down the crack of my Western Canadian, s.w. Sask ASS!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 22, 2009 4:29:38 PM CDT

    Someone should have cashed in on Space 1999 by now

    by tangcameo

    I've been waitin for someone to copy Ron Moore and reboot Space 1999 as Space 2012. Blend the old basic storyline with this ancient Mayan prophecy crap and have the moon thrown out into space during that cosmic alignment b.s.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 23, 2009 3:43:43 PM CDT

    THAT'S NOT THE MOON!!!

    by verycoldinspace

    THAT'S YOU'RE ANUS!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 23, 2009 4:17:42 PM CDT

    LAME

    by branniganslaw

    It had potential, but some of the lame dialogue, acting, and devices took me out of it.Most annoying was the plotting by government officials. Why don't they all know that NASA is already working on the problem? And if they think there are others out there that can do a better job, why wait until the current team fails? Why not bring them in NOW; if not in concert, in tandem? Failure means we all die... if the writers were serious about that, they would not use such a silly device.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 23, 2009 4:24:37 PM CDT

    Scientifically flawed...

    by branniganslaw

    I'm no physicist, but there are things that are very easy to understand by even laypeople. Why would the pick all of a sudden fly through the air toward the meteorite simply because it was removed from the bag? Fact: it wouldn't. In order to violently affect metal objects from that distance, that would have to be one hell of a powerful magnetic field generated by that brown dwarf fragment (inverse square of distance rule). Basically, his bag would have been pulling him toward the meteor as he approached the crater if we are to accept that the pick would fly through the air like that... and from that distance. However, in the context of all the major flaws, that one could almost be forgiven.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 23, 2009 6:24:31 PM CDT

    David James Elliot and German TV backers?

    by tangcameo

    Methinks I smell another Canadian-made co-production. Just as long as the Canadian government pays for half and some foreign country pays for the other half, plus actually airs it or buys the DVD rights, we Canadian's will make ALL SORTS of crap. Take Andromeda for example.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 28, 2009 3:27:04 AM CDT

    asd

    by zenmarc

    دردشه,
    دردشه عربيه,
    دردشه سعوديه ,
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    دردشه تعب قلبى,
    شات
    شات عربى,
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    سعودى كام ,
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    دليل سعودى ,
    الدردشه الكتابيه ,
    الفن والطرب
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    العاب الفلاش
    البلوتوث والجوال
    المواقع الاسلاميه
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    الادله والبحث
    صور وتحميل
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    اغانى طرب يوتيوب
    تاجوج السودانيه
    كافيه بنات
    دردشه بنات
    دردشه عشان الحب الصوتيه


    دردشه,
    دردشه عربيه,
    دردشه سعوديه ,
    دردشه خليجيه,
    دردشه مصريه,
    دردشه تعب,
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    شات,
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    شات تعب,
    شات تعب قلبى,
    سعودى كام,
    خليجى كام,..
    ماسنجر
    العاب بنات
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    العاب
    منتديات
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    برامج
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    دليل
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    منتدى الطلبه والطالبات
    نواعم لقيت روحى
    منتدى التصاميم
    همس القوافى
    منتدي الصور
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    الازياء والاكسسوارات
    الديكور والاشغال اليدويه
    الجوال والاتصالات
    الكمبيوتر والانترنت
    منتدى السيارات
    كويت كام
    كام
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    خليجى كام
    عقار
    ابحاث
    عرب
    الصحف
    عذب الكلام القصص والروايات
    استراحه بنات

    Reply to Talkback

  • Feb 15, 2010 5:34:42 AM CST

    TnLhJr

    by tmveqk

    sDcEpb TnLhJr

    Reply to Talkback

  • Feb 15, 2010 5:35:14 AM CST

    cccuAAT

    by tmveqk

    NxLjdDXf cccuAAT

    Reply to Talkback

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