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A LOT of TRANSFORMERS 2 reviews - SPOILERS GALORE
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey folks, Harry here, I'm getting a lot of people that want to know what I think of TRANSFORMERS 2. I haven't seen it yet. I didn't like the first one, but I had been really looking forward to this new one. And I am seeing it Tuesday in IMAX - so hopefully, it'll be better than the first, though certainly that isn't what the reviews are saying so far that we've gotten. Here they come:
Hey harry,
Heres my review for Revenge Of The Fallen. Therapeutic to write, feel free to use it you consider it worth. no hard feelings if not!
Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen
-This Will be a Megan Fox free review, because despite the fact she’s obviously hot, big robots turn me on more.-
A couple of years ago, while in the middle of my animation degree at university, myself and a few friends had a discussion. The question was “who is the greatest hero in all of fiction?” and the unanimous answer? Optimus Prime. He even beat Jesus.
Yes, I’m telling you that so you know where I’m coming from in terms of my love of all things autobot. But that moment also summed up exactly what Transformers is all about; its basic core story is a hero’s tale. Even my own mother would agree that most of my morals probably come more from Transformers than anywhere else. It has simple but effective power, which kids love, and turns adults into giddy 10 year olds.
The first movie, on the whole, did a very good job of expressing this. Yes the autobots looked stranger, complex, and the fights were visually hard to watch, but in my opinion it worked well. The characters were there, with the exact same attitude. Optimus was as moral as ever, powerful, bigger than Jesus. A hero story, supported by the best visual effects id ever seen (apart from, ya know, the Oscar winner for that year ‘Golden Compass’... wow that annoyed me.) One of the big successes of that first film for me was despite feeling huge, Bay didn’t go too far. It wasn’t epic enough to completely lose your bearings on the story.
This time round, the effects are even better, the action is still incredible, Optimus is still a God to me and everything is setup for a great movie. But it isn’t. And it’s taken me a while to figure out what’s gone wrong. And quite simply, its too big of a movie.
I don’t want to spoil the story, so I’m not going to even try and explain it, but one of the main problems of this movie is that there isn’t really any plot for the first hour. Things just escalate without any real direction, things just start going wrong. And it takes at least an hour and a trip across the globe before ANY character seems to know what is going on and why it’s happening. This hurts the movie. It worked in the first one, because it was the origin story. Part of the plot of that film is lack of understanding. Humans are meeting a new race, and we had to face the fear of the unknown as much as we could though the human characters. But this time, everyone is just a bit confused, and one step behind the few character who know what actually is going on.
There is a hell of a lot of characters in this movie, but ironically, its core robot cast actually feels a lot smaller. For a large part of the film you’re focused on 4 human characters and 3 Autobots. Bumble Bee, who still can’t talk (brilliant idea Bay, take the iconic wise cracking character, and make him virtually mute for TWO movies) and two incredibly annoying twin autobots. The best way to express how annoying these characters are is to rename them. Here I go... you’re going to hate me...
The Jar Jar Binks Twins.
Yep, that bad. And annoyingly you see more of these two characters more than any other single Autobot. And honestly this choice ruined the movie for me. Why couldn’t these two extra spots in the main line up be taken by any two of the hundred other characters that arnt really in the story at all? Why not Bumblebee, Ironhide and RC? That would be a real dynamic that I would happily watch. There’s more than enough comic relief in this movie that we really don’t need these two moronic Autobots clogging up the movie.
Fortunatly it really isn’t all bad. Infact, despite how negative I’m being, I did enjoy it. For one reason. Optimus. There are moments in this movie that not only bring back memories of the cartoon, but also of playing with the toys themselves. You’ll know what I mean when you see it, but I don’t think there’s been a more satisfying sequence in the past year for me than the last 20 minutes of this film.
There’s plenty of awful dialogue, the pacing is really bizarre (you could cut half an hour out of this thing, easily) but it is fun. I just miss the characters that don’t get screen time while we suffer the Jar Jar Binks twins. It was an opportunity for us to get to know some more characters, but instead you just want them to go away.
Revenge Of The Fallen is the kind of movie you wish you could have had some input on. EVERYONE I saw this with just wanted the same thing – less laughs, more character. More Autobots, talking to each other. Actually feeling like real characters and not just walking ILM showreel pieces.
I’m going to leave you with a single paraphrased line from the movie. Maybe now you’ll understand why I’m so conflicted.
“I am beneath the enemies testicles.”
If you use it, consider me 'Obscura'
Sounds hopeful right? Here's Lars' take:
Hi Harry never sent in anything to you guys before but haven't seen any reviews for transformers on your site yet so thought i would offer a few words(no spoilers) as i saw it last night. Overall the film is exactly what i wanted it to be, i loved the first for being just a great no brainer action movie and that is exactly what the second is. The special effects in this film are just outstanding, and the interaction with the transformers is amazing and the set pieces are some of the best i have ever seen on film. the highlight of the film is the last 45 mins which is just unrelenting action with at least 25 plus transformers fighting it out in egypt. BUT there is one massive problem with the film and thats the human characters, you just dont care about them in this film at all and you feel like they just didn't know what to do with them. My problem was mainly with Megan fox and Shia Labeouf's love story in the film. They are both excellent in the film and very well acted but they have this on off love story thing that just irritates rather than being sincere. That aside though you are paying your money to see the transformers kick ass and thats exactly what happens ALOT. So overall the film is amazing with some outstanding visual effects work but is let down by pointless love story. if you do use any of this call me bacon ears
cheers
Alright - that sounds fun - here's Kumar, what'd he think?
Hi Harry,
Not sure why it hasn't been reviewed on "ain't it cool" yet but here's my review
----
Just came back from watching Transformers 2 : Revenge of the Fallen at the IMAX cinema here in London
(and am writing this review (my first one ever!) after a few Kirin lagers with a buddy at Farringdon - so apologies if it appears somewhat incoherent at times)
Overall, it rocked.
Specifically, there are 3 aspects of the movie i'd like to talk about
1. The story & characters
2. The action and visuals
3. The IMAX experience
And I'm gonna try and be spoiler-free so as not to ruin it for anyone:
1. Story & Characters
The story really picks up nicely from the first movie and builds on the Transformer lore.
There is the whole Cube thing that we've now all seen in the trailer which ties in nicely with how Sam Witwicky is dragged into the whole battle.
The Deceptions, in particular, are fleshed out really well as is the Megatron-Starscream rivalry.
The Fallen is pretty bad-ass though a little bit under-utilised.
Some neat stuff about Energons which i thought went down quite well.
What was really weird yet cool was the, err.., brutality of the fights - Optimus Prime in particular (if you thought the Bonecrusher decaptitation was hardcore, you ain't seen nuthin' yet)
In the trailers, there were the more goofy robots which quite honestly i cringed at during the trailers but... they do work in the movie, so kudos to Bay and team.
On the human side, well, they are not necessarily superfluous but let's face it, this IS a movie about Giant Fucking Robots. The relationships take a well placed back seat to the aforementioned GFRs.
The obligatory goverment dick-head position previously held by Turturro's Sector 7 Simmons is now replaced by someone else which worked well.
What suprised me the most in the FIRST movie was the humour, which is also here in the sequel and ultimately
that really makes it gel together.
Only (very) minor letdown is the final showdown which I'll discuss in the section below.
Look, it's not The Dark Knight, so do take the story for what it is and you'll have a great time.
2. Action & Visuals
Well, this is mayhem in the manner that only Michael Bay can pull off and it...is... good.
I've not been a big fan of Bayhem previously til Transformers 1 but this is a movie that really deserves it.
Devastator is truly devastating.
The forest battle is most definitely the highlight.
There are a lot of action-packed scenes and all do have a great pay-off.
The opening Blackout scene in TF1 is outdone spectacularly in TF2:ROTF.
The CGI blends so seamlessly that it was truly amazing.
As hinted previously the only minor letdown is the final showdown,
so much happens (Bayhem + Explosions + Shaky Cam) that it is quite hard to follow and as such, the impact is not as great as it could be.
But... tis a minor quibble indeed for the movie is truly a powerhouse, rip-roaring rollercoaster.
The GFRs are animated so meticulously well, one can believe that a 10-ton robot can truly fly.
3. The IMAX experience
I don't think there is a better way to watch this movie but... there is a better than I watched this movie.
In the London IMAX theatre, I sat on row L (which is 11 rows back) and in hindsight even that may have been
a bit too close (next time I'm gonna hit row N)
Like in TDK, it's pretty seamless when it goes to the IMAX fullscreen and it is truly breathtaking to see a life-size Optimus. The rendering is near perfect though I noticed some differences in colour.
However, Bay hasn't really mastered the IMAX format as Nolan had in TDK, in which all scenes were amazing.
So here's hoping that Transformers 3 will be better.
So in summary, if I were to give this movie a one-word review
(as I did in the SMS text message I sent to my bro, Dr. Alf)
I would simply say that it is.... "AWESOME!"
I hope you do use the review (if you deem it useful),
if so please put me down as "The CKP".
Many thanks
P.S One spoiler then - my favorite from back in the day makes a very welcome debut - Soundwave!
CKP / Kumar
Wow - that sounds cool, here's a brief one from Tarn
I had the misfortune of seeing Transformers 2 today.
Stuff that's better than the first movie:
John Turturro.
Kevin Dunn.
The visual effects.
Stuff that's the same:
Shia LaBeouf.
Megan Fox.
Peter Cullen.
Stuff that's worse:
Everything else. Especially the 'funny bits'.
Call me Tarn if you happen to use this! Cheers.
Yikes, well here comes one that really gives one a sinking feeling from Winston84
Hey Harry, just got back from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which has just opened here in the UK and I thought I'd give you a quick review.
What a colossal piece of SHIT.
Seriously, you have no idea what I went through with this movie - it's the closest I have come in my not-exactly-rosy life to actually wanting to die. Let's get this straight - I didn't like Transformers, I don't like Michael Bay and I think Shit The Beef is quite possibly the worst 'rising star' to come out of Hollywood since Orlando Bloom, so I wasn't exactly predisposed to enjoying this movie, but Jesus Christ. This was bad beyond my expectations. The entire movie is basically one enormous action sequence, and Bay does his best to blow up more stuff on screen than anybody has done in the business before him. Only Black Hawk Down compares. Twenty minutes in and I already had battle fatigue. I had seen so much stuff blow up that I just didn't care anymore. The sight of an exploding car/helicopter/fighter plane/aircraft carrier did absolutely nothing for me - I was actually checking my pulse and it did not rise once. Once again proof that Mr. Bay has absolutely no concept of how to stage an action sequence. For all those apologists out there saying 'well, he's not the best director but he sure knows how to action!' I say BULLSHIT. Action is all about choreography, editing and pacing - not about how many explosions you can cram onto the screen. Michael Bay has no idea how to do any of those things. It's just boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-SNORE.
And I'm not even kidding - this is the worst part. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is quite possibly the loudest movie I have ever seen in my life. Constant, constant noise, at such a level that it would wake the very hounds of hell if Michael Bay hadn't already unleashed them on the moviegoing public. And do you know what happened? I FELL ASLEEP. For half an hour. The loudest film of all time and I fucking nodded off halfway through - if that doesn't stand as a testament to how monumentally boring this film is then I don't know what will. I can't praise the effects even though technically they may have been accomplished. I don't care how much time went into creating the robots, all I saw on screen was a bunch of scrambled shit. You know, it might be really hard to animate frame-by-frame a CGI representation of white noise, but that doesn't make it impressive to watch. No sense of awe, wonder or scale in these effects it's just a bunch of STUFF.
The acting was neither here-nor-there, and the screenplay was diabolical. I couldn't work out what the fuck was going on, especially after I missed half an hour of it and then I realised that I actually didn't give a shit. I just wanted it to be over. Watching Shia Le Buttfuck's two little comic relief sidekicks felt like the equivalent of watching a robotic Jar Jar Binks in stereo. Just woefully misplaced humour. Terrible dialogue ('punk-ass Decepticons!') and some appalling sexual innuendo that I found really inappropriate in a movie supposedly aimed at kids. God Megan Fox was such a whore in this movie. Not exactly a role model I'd want for my daughter.
My only consolation at seeing this gigantic shitfest was that I didn't pay for it (work at a cinema). If I had, I imagine I'd have been even more pissed off than I was, and glancing around the cinema during the movie, it was evident the rest of the audience were not in the least bit excited either. Just blank, expressionless faces all around. An apt reflection of such a soulless piece of garbage like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. If anything good can come from this it can only be my being a martyr. I have suffered so that you do not have to. Do yourselves a favour - do NOT go and see this movie. Just say NO. That's the only way you're going to stop the bad men from doing it again. Go and see 'Star Trek' again. We've seen over the past few years that you can mix big-budget with quality (Iron Man, TDK, Star Trek) - we deserve a better class of summer movie. Michael Bay wants us all to lower our standards and accept shit like this. Don't.
Thank you.
If you use this Harry, call me Winston84.
OUCH! Next we have one that makes it sound just ho-hum bad:
Hey guys,
Thought I'd share my Transformers 2 review with your site.
So, this is the IMAX-ed edition of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen here, not the normal one, full IMAX-ed scenes.
And how does it fare?
Well, to be honest the first 45 minutes are great, some nice humour, solid action, bringing back characters and introducing new ones well, in the vein of the original, Shia talk-joke moments are still there, though few and far between, gone completely by the end of the first hour, Megan is purely sexualised once more, more-so than the last one too, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson are just military people this time, they have no character or point except that they were part of the events of the first one.
It all opens with action in Shanghai, military and autobots running around looking for decepticons, cue big bad one from the trailer, the one that smashes his hands don on the ground for an explosion and smashes through a motorway. In fact a majority of the first trailer is from the opening sequence, which I thought was a good idea when watching the sequence, not knowing as much about what is coming.
Of course this turned out to be another bad omen.
So Shia is off to college, he can't say he loves Mikaela because they need something near the end to get them back in each others' arms, and his parents are off to Paris for no reason, they get about 4 scenes before being scooped up by a Decepticon at about one hour 10 mins in, thrown back half an hour before the end for no reason. Cue terrible music for the college sequences, a roommate who is obsessed with alien robots and conspiracy theories, annoying as he is at the start he is dragged into the rest of the film, why? Because evidentially the writers wanted a new funny character on top of Tom Kenny's sweary min-decepticon hostage and the twin Smart car hispanics, gold teeth, odd eyes, always fighting, they can't read, great work Hollywood!
All the robots get nothing to do, The Fallen is nothing except some bad CGI moaning until the end, when he starts fighting in blurry shaky-cam classic style and is easily beaten. Megatron is found and re-energised just to beat up Starscream, thank goodness, and do nothing, Optimus doesn't even do anything plot-wise, except fight some baddie robots off (All baddies of course black, hardly subversive still) and then, now, how should I say this without any spoilers, go to a farm for a bit, then brought back to beat the bad guys with the ease no other autobot had, yet they can all be killed instantaneously.
Well, the whole final epic battle is a problem on itself to get to later.
So, the plot, Sam finds a shred of the cube in his jacket, how convenient, and touches it, causing him to get shapes in his head he has to write down. An hour and a half later he finds out what they are, and as always, a robot projects the scene and tells us the plot. Some stuff about a vixen in college wanting Sam, lasts about 20 minutes, happening upon John Turturro in the Kevin Smith Die Hard 4.0 role this time, with more action, a ball joke and the poor guy strips off to a jockstrap, in IMAX close up, erm, not exactly great, nor of course funny in any way.
Jon Voight is no where to be seen this time, a mention of Obama suggests that it's supposed to be set 2 years later and Voight was with Bush, who must have liked Ding Dongs and red socks then.
The voices are great, Hugo, Peter, Frank, Tom, all top jobs, of course a lot don't get much time and are skipped over, which is a dire shame, but it's not like the first where they were ignored for human characters, they were ignored for random action or shots of sand.
In IMAX the forrest fight, sand eater and subsequent pyramid fight were in full screen, though the final battle has three segments so only a third if that is up there, but the change in aspects, like TDK last year, isn't too horrendous. However unfortunately the CGI plays up even more at such a big screen. The first one, though limited in shots, looked amazing, and it's the attention to detail from the first one's small shots that is missed here, overblown so much that the CGI is disappointingly and annoyingly bad, Golden Compass bad, so it'll win the Oscar.
The acting from the humans is minimal to bad, nothing major here, they're only there to service a contract and to make money, there's no real reason any humans are in it with the lack of plot and function for 2 hours 30 of the film, add to that the lack of a conclusion, after the big battle the Linkin Park music starts up again and Optimus speaks out, no time to give much of a finish, in the same way that the whole film forgets to humanise the humans and autobots, they're all bloody robotic.
Now, the final battle. So much is just wrong here. For starters the CGI overload is poorly done and looks awful, the whole point of the final battle seems to be a mid-movie sequence with a final conclusion action segment added on to finish the film, the action is shot so poorly you can't make heads nor tales of the robots, again, and by this time you're so uninvested in the characters you kinda hope The Fallen does destroy the Sun and watch Shia and Megan's smug grins burn off their disintegrating faces.
Thankfully among all the turgid awfulness of the movie, the score is once again fantastic, hummable and far outweighs the boring-ness of the sub-par action on screen.
I mean, there's Baytarded, a kind of dumb-ness level for films that still retain the upbeat fun of the piece with explosions, and then there's retarded, where they forget the audience and just make things explode, and as much as I like explosions, there are too many in comparison to the character development the first one had for the most part. Add to that the complete dark nature the film's tone turns for the run time to make it seem slightly dangerous, eliminating the humour that made the characters so fun to watch in the first one, and from that brilliant epitome of a summer film you get a polished turd with little of interest after a solid 45 minute opening.
5/10 For those first 45 minutes alone.
If you decide to use this, I'm EthanRunt
This review basically has it as being a film that if you liked the first, you'll like this, but if you didn't... nothing here will change your mind. Here's ooube...
Never written a review for Aint it cool before because, living in England, we rarely get films before the US so there's never been much point but I saw Transformers :Revenge of the fallen this afternoon and saw that it's out here a week before you guys so...
it's pretty much what everyone expects and hopes for; if you liked the first one you'll love this, if you didn't (or are a Bay detractor) you'll find not much for you here. Most of the trailers are made up from the first 2 action sequences and the rest of the film just gets bigger, louder and more outlandish in the brilliantly over the top summer event way - but it remains fun, the plot holes and suspension of disbelief not too grating and the characters interesting and likeable , so basically everything Terminator Salvation isn't.
The plot (as it is) is that Sam is going to college, his mum and dad are having trouble letting him move on and so is Bumblebee. He's trying to cultivate a long term relationship with Megan Fox but their are troubles ahead; she won't move away with him and he (in the biggest suspension of disbelief moment in the movie) refuses to tell her he loves her - the odd logic being that if he does she'll loose interest.
He's also managed to find a shard of the Allspark (left for two year) in his hoodie from the first film - this imprints, a la Chuck, a map and symbols into his brain. It also creates, in a crazy Gremlin's inspired sequence, a load of household itemed Decepticons (toasters, remote controlled cars etc). Starscream recognises that the All Spark shard is out there and the Decepticons must get it and Sam.
The Autobots and the military (most of the guys from the first team) are part of a secret covert team called Nest, that monitor for Decepticon attacks around the world and destroy them when they do attack, something that is happening with more frequency. There are also more Autobots now, those who answered Optimus's message at the end of the first films- two twins who combine to make the ice cream truck (briefly) and are far more annoying than Jazz in the first film and 3 female bikes that are hardly in it.
But all is not well with the EBE pardon, and typically slimey government suit is blaming the escalation in attacks on the earth on the autobots and their continued presence here. What else could they be hunting?
It turns out that the Fallen and the Transformers have been to our planet before - thousands of years ago, and they inspired the creation of the Pyramids etc. The Fallen was a rebel who wanted to exterminate human life o n the planet and has been banished, he now wants to use the map in Sam's head to uncover a machine, left from the Transformer's original visit, to exterminate our sun. The Fallen cam only be defeated by a prime and Optimus is the last one left, reviving Megatron to defeat Prime (by exploiting his affection and protection of Sam) will leave the world defenseless to The Fallen and The Decepticons.
Very quickly Shia, Megan and Bumblebee are on the run, with Shia's college roommate along as comic relief, the world learns of the Transformer's existance and John Tuturro returns to the frey - more manic and over the top than last time.
The action is great but still very hard to discern what is going on, most of the humour works but the robot's personalities are still very one dimensional and aimed at kids and the plot is just an excuse to lead too a showdown of 40 robots and 100s of military fighting in the desert.
There are so many robot characters in this film compared to last time and they still haven't lost the wow factor in seeing them on screen; Shia is exactly what he was and you want him to be and Megan Fox is stunning as expected (plus Bay finds an almost as hot actress to play Shia's college temptress) and the comedy when provided by Shia and his family generally works. Also, of course, the whole film is set at dusk to get that wonderful blue/green hue and lens flares.
It's not going to make any new converts to transformers or Bay's style, but if you were a fan of the first and/ or big budget event films you'll love it
ooube
This is another review that calls it a piece of shit, this time by VadakinX:
Harry,
I've literally just come in the door after watching Transformers and as I sit down to write this, something has occurred to me. Michael Bay is on the wrong Hasbro franchise. Everyone knows that Bay has a hard on for the military. He treats them with respect and admiration in his films. Bay should be directing G.I. Joe, not Transformers.
Anyways, about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I half expect this to be a mess of a review but then it was a mess of a film so I guess it fits. Some spoilers ahead, maybe some major ones so skip this if you want to go into the film spoiler-free.
Back when the first movie came out I hated it. People told me I shouldn't expect Shakespeare from a toy commercial to which I responded that source material is no excuse for bad writing. This time around, I have to say that source material is no excuse for bad....well, everything. This really is a mess. Where do I start? Well the action is horrendous. There are more robots this time around, some of whom remain in their Cybertronian forms making it impossible to tell them apart. Even the ones that were given bright colours to stand out don't work. There's a green autobot and a green decepticon...I have no idea which is which.
In fact there are far too many robots. Last time around, people complained that the focus wasn't on the robots. Bay has responded to this by adding more generic machines to the action. There are explosions galore, a lot of shit going on...it's too bad you won't have a clue exactly what for over half the shots. It's a little clearer than in the first film, and Bay has slowed down on the edit a bit but the generic nature of the machines makes it irrelevant. Then there's the script...oh dear god...
Now I will give Orci and Kurtzman some credit. Their Star Trek script wasn't terrible (even if it was a rip off of Star Wars A New Hope) and there are less plotholes in this Transformers movie than the last. But that's where the credit ends. So it turns out that Megatron, the leader of the evil Decepticons is actually a pussy-whipped bitch...I'm serious. He does nothing except what the Fallen tells him to (even calling him Master) and by the end he just retreats with a whimper. Megatron is a fucking joke. A cowardly punk. He's Starscream with a bigger gun.
Anyways the story goes that Sam has knowledge in his head about a new source of energon blah blah blah BOOM another explosion. That's what you want right? Well there's lots of that. And also just about every cliche in the history of cinema. There are no characters in this movie, just catchphrases and sex jokes.
And that's where the movie really takes a nosedive. The humor. It's gross, crass, unfunny, appealing to the lowest common denominator. It's the type of humor you would expect to find in Disaster Movie or some American Pie Rip off...only worse. Everything from Devastator having balls (yes you read correctly) to a small Decepticon (I have no idea who it is) humping Megan Fox's leg...it's shit that appeals to hicksville. The kind of trash that appeals to no-brained idiots with asses for faces....which is apparently just about everyone. Because as I sat and watched the movie, I noticed something. People laughed. A lot of people laughed. Right then and there I knew that the worst movie of the summer so far (yes, Terminator is better, even Wolverine is better) would make the most money. And I died a little inside.
Whatever happened to movies that could be fun without being stupid? Whatever happened to Star Wars and Raiders? To Jaws? Back To The Future....remember those movies? Remember how fun they were? How engaging the characters were? How is it that we have lost that kind of film making where a movie could appeal to everyone wthout being reduced to a series of special effects and fart jokes? Pixar is the only studio left that seems to get it.
But I digress. Spoiler Alert! Optimus dies. Yup...but he doesn't stay dead. So why am I spoiling that little nugget of information? Because Optimus has less screentime than he did in the first movie. Rachet is left in the background along with Ironhide, even Bumblebee isn't as prominent as he was. You have twin Transformers who are the spiritual successor to Ghetto Jazz and did I mention that Megatron is a bitch?
Let's go back a few years...Superman Flyby. Remember that script? Remember the awful scene in the first draft where a dead Superman meets his father who teaches him Krypto-kung fu and gives him timely advice? Well we have something along those lines in this movie, this time involving "The Primes".
But I can't get my thoughts straight. There is so much I need to say but it's just too painful. This is a piece of shit film that everyone will go see and love because they are all mindless idiots. What I say here is meaningless. People will once again say that I shouldn't expect Shakespeare. I don't. What I expect is to be entertained by a solid story with some decent action, a little humor that is a cut above sex jokes (does Bay not realise who the audience for this movie will be?)....how do I put it...
Imagine if Team America wasn't a send up. Imagine if Bay directed it as a live action film. Now add robots. That's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. My brain hurts to much to write any more. Actually come to think of it, if Bay did direct G.I. Joe then Team America is exactly what I would expect.
If you use this, I am VadakinX in the talkback for those who wish to ridicule me.
Man. Ok - this next one is from a Dad that took his son to see it in Japan, they had a great time:
Hey Harry/or Mr Beaks..or whoever...
I'm sure ur getting a deluge of reviews from expats living in the Far east right now.
TRANFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (or Transformer/Revenge, as its called out here) opens officially on June 20th, but theaters have opened it early on the 19th.
I took my son (7 yrs old), in a nutshell.....Great!! It was fun, better than the first! My kid thought so too.
The special effects were not awesome in the sense that we were witnessing something amazing we'd never seen before, but the effects were OVERWHELMING. The movie did not let up, even for a second...the larger than life Bay shots of young nubile women and soldiers mean muggin' dont count.
The story was good, very cartoony, but it works for the world that these characters live in...talking transforming robots from outer space!
The characters? This time around, the transformers are 'actors' in the story. Soldier boys Tyrese and Duhamel were pushed into the background, so were the parents, but were all serviceable. (except the horrible scene w/ Sam's mom in college, high on space cake). Sam was fine, John Turturro was the best human actor (criminally underutilized), Megan Fox is a fox. And there is a SPOILER!!!! nice looking decepticon in a human guise! (you can see her coming from a mile away tho)
The movie is loooooooong, 2 and a half hours?? Didnt check my watch, but it felt epic...
One of the few negatives was the humor. The autobots and decepticons crackin wise like they from the streets, that and the lowest common denominator type comedy that was goin on at Sam's college. Hated it at the start of the movie, but halfway thru, I found myself welcoming these light/fluffy moments cause the rest of the movie was so dang relentless w/ the intensity. Priceless was Turturro signaling a nearby battleship that his current position was under Devastator's testes!!!
I'ma cut it short cause I made my wife a caipirinha to thank her for lettin me go see the movie!
If you use this, I'm BossPlayya, I sent that erroneous Timbo/Jim Cameron scoop a couple years back, or I also go by Gorgeous Rod (my handle on a defunct comedy/reality show Supa Gaijin here in japan)
Here's someone that loved it, like I hear Moriarty did:
What can I say! Midnight Showing, a packed room filled with Geeks and Nerds ready to enjoy more explosions from Michael Bay....I dont think any of us left disappointed.
There were cheers at the beginning gasps in the middle and applause at the end (which in UK cinemas is a big deal!)
The story is a great continuation from the first film and as we know all about them we manage to get rid of all the exposition and get straight down to it.
The special effects have been improved greatly since the first film and the Transformers now look and feel real. My mate was a little disappointed in some of the characterisations (Soundwave, Ironhide) but was won over by new characters such as Mudflap and Wheelie (well new to the Bay films anyway) If a dream of yours was to see a miniature robot hump Megan Fox's leg...consider yourself blessed by this movie.
Also Fox gets her Baywatch on near the end (we get a good handful of shots of sloooow motttion running) there should always be running!!!
Overall a bigger, funnier and for my money better film than the first.
I dont care if you are a Bay hater...the man can make a spectacle and for two and a half hours today I forgot all my problems.
Darfdork
Here's another guy that had fun with it...
Hey Harry, I live in the UK and went to the 12.01 screening of Transformers ROTF this evening. As the US release isn't until the 22nd I thought I'd send in a review. Overall, the flick was very good. Pretty much what I think most people are expecting, good mindless, hugely expensive entertainment. I'm sure most people who frequent the site are fairly familiar with the overall story, but here's a little sum-up anyways. (Apologies for the lack of structure, I don't normally write reviews that span beyond a few sentences).
(SPOILERS)
The Autobots are working for the US government as a secret anti-decepticon task force when they come across a warning from the massive wheel robot we've all seen in the trailers. The warning is of course, about 'The Fallen' who is waiting to wreak havok on the earth and our lead characters. Meanwhile Sam goes off to college, but not before finding a small shard of the allspark which, after a quick touch downloads a bunch of ancient Cybertronian symbols and coded info into his mind. The Fallen, along with the other Decepticons need said info to locate a device to supply them with a large quantity of energy that will allow them to win the war and take over / destroy the earth. Bayhem ensues.
Let's start with the bad points. The mandatory 'funny' scenes with Sam and his parents really did grate on me. They've tried so hard to make it funny it's almost painful to watch. That said, there were a few people in my cinema laughing at every joke (including the clever joke of two dogs humping... twice). All the people that had a problem with the similar scenes in the first flick are going to have a field day with this. Truly awful stuff. And it gets a little worse when Sam goes off to college. I really don't know if Michael Bay has ever actually been to an American college, but i'm guessing he just asked some 13 year old boy what he imagines it to be like, then created it. Seriously it's so idealised it's amazing. Every girl is amazingly hot and even the guys are straight out of a magazine catalogue. The party they go to resembles a nightclub more than a dorm room. Anyway, enough ranting.
That's basically the first half hour and once Sam gets whisked away from college to deal with the impending threat, it gets very cool and very entertaining. Fans wanted more robot vs. robot action, it's here... and pretty awesome. The forest scene we've seen glimpses of in the trailer is pretty bad-ass (though the camera does suffer from Quantom of Solace syndrome at times). Aside from that the action / CG is very well done, especially as there's a bit more human robot interaction. The new robots are all fairly good too. Mudflap and Skids aren't anywhere near as annoying as I expected them to be, and there are several new Decepticons (including a remote control buggy / Italian-American robot who really grew on me). Though sadly Soundwave sits the whole flick out, having no connection to Ravage or any other smaller robot.
I also think it's weird that the Decepticons suddenly have hugely more advanced techonolgy this time around. Nano-bots that join together and bug-sized thingamabobs I can live wit, but they actually have a full-size human replica that can change from a real-life girl to a Frenzy-like robot in seconds. The presence of that thing just didn't fit with the movie and it just seemed kinda out of place in my opinion.
Shia LaBoeuf isn't quite as Shia LaBoeuf as I expected him to be and Megan Fox is purely eye-candy offering little more than slow motion fodder. It's cool Josh Duramel and Tyrese Gibson are back, but they're not given alot to do. The fact i'm only realising that now is a testament to the action and elaborate set-pieces that really distract you from pretty much any thinking at all. The flick also features some great cinematography of landscapes and aerial shots that all add to sheer scope of this thing. It's not quite as awe-inspiring as the first one, but it's a heck of a lot of fun none-the-less and hugely entertaining. Explosions, giant robots knocking seven shades of shit out of one another, resulting in more explosions, Transformers 2 has finally arrived and it's well worth watching.
celm02
This review came from an advanced screening in Israel:
I'm surprised no one's reviewed this yet. Call me Moonshine.
There was a press screening in Israel for Transformers 2. Let me sum up: it stinks. Watching it, one can sense the end of civilization creeping closer.
The first film had a somewhat likable first half. The second half felt like a documentary about the steel industry edited by someone suffering from severe apoplexy.
Well apparently Bay really loved the second half, because this movie is all shaky-cam. Even the lovey-dovey scenes between Shia and Megan are shaky (and with loud music in the background. Oh, and the dialog is terrible. And the acting sub-par).
As for the robots: there are too many of them (not that you could actually recognize more than two or three in the first one). You've got your G1 classics; then you've got a razor thin one made out of ball bearings; then one that looks like a human girl (surprisingly, this technological breakthrough was utilized only for the purpose of capturing mankind's last hope, Shia, and not for impersonating the President or something silly like that). You've got your Freud robot, your jive talking robot, and your Mexican robot. It's like Jar-Jar: if they were portrayed by humans, Bay would be crucified.
Belief cannot be suspended when a giant Wheelie thing tears through a jammed-up highway and the government somehow manages to cover it up. And those dialogs... If I hear one more line about humanity's capacity for good, I swear I'll come home and beat my Prime upside the head. When "The Fallen" - who looks like a pregenant robot octupus - calls Megatron "my apprentice"... I mean come on.
This is a bad, flat, thoughtless film that had the audience laughing during it's final, dramatic moments (Shia says those three words Megan oh so longed to hear). Remember when Kirk died in Star Trek Generations? This film is just like that: dramatic events without drama. Bay is going to whine about the critics; instead, he should go watch the real T2 - the one with Arnold and Furlong - and understand that an action movie doesn't have to be brainless.
This comes from CSCTheLegend
Hey Harry And Those Oh So Friendly Readers Of AICN
This is just my thoughts. Not overly cohesive, so give a guy a break
Tonight I saw Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. I have no idea if you want my opinion on it but I thought I'd send it to you anyway. Oh and FYI, The reason I saw it tonight was because I work at a cinema and one of the few perks I have is to watch films a wee bit earlier than the everyday folks. I don't often take the chance to use this perk but I did with Star Trek and now with this (even if I could have spent 2 and a half hours hanging with the girl of my dreams. I had to spend it with Megan Fox instead)
As far as my history with Transformers goes, I have none before Michael Bay. I have no knowledge of the cartoons and toys bar what my soon to be brother in law tells me. Phrases like "G1" sound more like an economic plan than what it actually is. Which..I have forgotten. I was resistant to the first movie because, well, Michael Bay. Hes always seemed like a nice guy and all, but his films seemed a bit empty. However I caved in when it came to Blu Ray and I got it cheap on Amazon. And i loved it. Explosions, Robots, Megan Fox, whats not to love right?
So to the sequel, I shall begin with an overview to give you the gist and ill get spoilery if i must. Essentially, I loved it. It's no Citizen Kane, no shawshank, no eternal sunshine, but it does what it sets out to do. If you enjoyed the first one then step right up, the shows back in town! It's a little bit long, I'd say 30-45 minutes could go easily. Those who felt the first film missed out on the bot-on-bot action will not be dissapointed this time around. Its Auto-Decepto-Smackdown time. Oh and if you didn't like the first one or didnt bother to watch it, rent it or download it (or whatever you crazy kids are doing these days) and give it another shot. Then go see this one. I know michael bay doesnt need your money, but its a damn site more fun and funny than snoozey woozy wolverine and the time flies a lot quicker than with Terminator: Save Me.
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD
So theres a Prime voiceover before the titles, accompanying footage of ancient times fighting with some transformers seemingly feuding over that thing that was on the enterprise in First Contact that Worf and Data and Picard and that red shirt, had to seperate from the ship. However, in a shocking twist, it isnt that at all! Disapointing I know. We also see The Fallen for the first time. Hes a Robot. I'm not going to explain the whole story or else what would be the point in seeing it, there are other sites for that sort of thing.
Sam is going to college. Megan Fox isnt. They arent going to be together anymore. He just won't say I love you. She doesnt like this. Sam finds a lovely little mcguffin, a tiny shard of the All spark. It makes his kitchen become Robots. His kitchen goes mental. Bumblebee fucks shit up. Theres a lot of this sort of stuff in the movie. The clashing of Sam's startlingly odd mother and endearing father and sams normal life in general. This is clearly something the writers went after in the first film and something they continue here. As Sir Russell T Davies once said about good old Doctor Who, no one cares about "Planet Zog". A film with bots just punching each other wouldnt be appreciated by the wider audience who just dont get off on that sort of thing. It needs to be grounded with likable people in earth-bound reality led situations. Granted, reality slips out of the door pretty early, but you're happy to go along with amiable Shia TheBeef because he's the everyman, something he plays very well. And theres Megan Fox. And they're all funny.
Ah humour, somethign this sequel goes after with fury. Theres the wise guy decpticon whos name I forget (happens a lot in this film) whos also a little RC car who seems to be channeling Joe Pantoliano whos wisecracking his way through the film. He also does something quite reasonable...he humps Megan Fox's leg. Now, I can see many situations in which I can see myself doing likewise, though it did jar a little. Theres also a lot of dog on dog action in the first 20 minutes. Im not sure why. Theres also "The Twins". I know not if these are actually there names as I didn't catch them (see above). But they are actually surprsingly entertaining. I thought they would grate on my eventually but, come their big action scene, taking on Devastator, I was, frankly, hoping for a spin off. Theres also talk of Robot Scrotums. But i shant ruin that for you
The plot is full of Transformers. I know talkbalkers and fans will scream the place down for me saying this, but I could have done with a few less. I know so few names of these metal roustabouts that I didnt know where they were at any time or in fact care. Prime, megatron (yes he'd back, like a bit of a lackey to be honest), bumblebee, The twins, devastator, JoeyPantsbot and some geriatric british Decepticon turncoat who had an actualy transformer cane; i can't think of any others in the movie. In as much as I mean, I cant remember them. They may throw a funny little quip in here and there but aside from that, why are they there? Oh hey, John Turturro comes back, and hes a brilliant as he always is. Used much more effectively than he was in the first film. However he does get a little lost in the plot pile up at the climax. Ever character from the last two hours descend into a war zone. It's not overly effectively staged. It all looks the same and the same stuff keeps happening. Theres no tension, waiting for sam to arrive with his magic dust (dont ask) and Turturro's over there with that new kid that I think was in Power Rangers once. And its all rather hectic and clumsy. Even the final smackdown seems over weirdly quick. Optimus (SPOILER RUN!) "dies" early on the film, in fact in the big foresty bit in the trailers, however, you spend the whole film thinking "well hes clearly coming back". And he does. And then the old english transformer dies and Optimus, essentially, 'pimps' himself up. And suddenly he flies at the fallen, he shoots a thing which breaks- threat averted- and then just punshes The Fallen until he dies ("I rise, you fall". Nice)......And thats it. It just seems a bit like we're spent so long running to the end point of an intergalactic race (excited!) and then at the end, everyone sort of gives up (disappointed). But who cares, its been fun and Megan Fox is still there.
So the plot. There is one, I know that much. But its essentially lots of transformers, at least 4 "Macguffins" (2 bits of the all spark, a weird little dagger thing, Captain Picards seperator thingie) and much running about and globe trotting. Yes its just running from A to B, from fight to fight, from quip to quip, from under whelming plot revelation to under whelming plor revelation. But you know what, when your running with Megan Fox, explosions, and Huge Ass Kicking Fricking Alien Robots, I'm going for the run
It's fun. It's relatively stupid. It's strangely emotive in places. It's not perfect but it has huge fricking robots and Megan Fox (did I mention she was in it?)
And I may not know all the names, and the history. But I do know this; I came out of that film after 2 and a half hours with a huge grin in my face and a desire to see more adventures of Samuel Witwicky And His Amazing Metal Chums
If you see fit to print this drivel, call me CSCTheLegend
Talkbalkers, rip me to shreds already
That's all for now - a strong mixture of LOVE & HATE. I'm a little frightened at this point.
Harry
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+ Expand All
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Shit.
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Damn you, Michael Bay.
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join me.
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If you've had multiple head traumas and become excited by the sound of jingling keys, this will be enjoyable. If not, you're shit outta luck.
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OK, I'm sold...
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Every time! You know this to be true. That said, I'm sure this movie is Optimusdamned awful. I'll pirate it.
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AM I RIGHT?!!!
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Cannot wait :/
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Did you really just type that, Kid Z? lol
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Sounds about the same as the reaction to the first movie...but, damn; all those critics who use the internet to gauge public reaction and then write their reviews accordingly...what the fuck will they do now? Think for themselves?
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Aren't these like a week late? Ah well. BATTLE ROYALE begins.
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I MIGHT go see this. But only maybe.
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I wonder what next summer will bring...
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by playing Dirk Diggler's version of You Got the Touch over the end credits.
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Pretty much more of the same... Meaning it sucks ass.
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Adults today don't buy Transformers toys unless they are 100 statues from some shit company
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Jun 20, 2009 4:27:15 PM CDT
If you didn't like the 1st, why are you surprised you hate the 2
by d.vader
Honestly, the only ones who should get upset and be disappointed are those that really enjoyed the first film. They're the only ones with anything to lose. I have to laugh a little bit at those who say "I didn't like the first one and MAN THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE!!!". Really, did you expect to be dazzled by a 100% increase in quality for the sequel?
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Don't go and see this film. Then maybe next year we'll get some quality product. Terminator Salvation underperformed and that's a step in the right direction but this one needs to underperform too. It's up to you. Remember when you paid money to see Indy 4? Don't make the same mistake again. This film isn't very good. You won't really be missing anything other than a substandard piece of shit and yet more ammunition to attack Michael Bay with (as if you still need more ammunition). There's never been a summer season quite like this one. It truly is a golden opportunity. There is nothing 'must-see' this summer. Just skip them all if you can and force Hollywood to rethink their approach. We deserve better than this shit but there's only one way to bring that about. Vote with your feet people. Demand better.
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its for ages 3-15. no quality is necessary to make a profit. this is a product.
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'Spoilers' are something that happens in movies where the surprise of a plot reveal is key to the enjoyment of a film. I think we can all agree that when we look forward to seeing a Michael Bay Transformers film the 'plot' is not even a consideration. It's merely a delivery system for giant robot action. It's like giving spoiler warnings for a fucking porno. The fuckin is what you're watching it for, the 'plot' is just there to keep it from being a compilation of clips.
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...still makes me cringe. Why do I want to see more of that shit? Transformers with balls? Hick Transformers? Sex jokes? bleh.
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Yeah, sounds like the first one. Its like deja vu all over again.
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Bring it on, fellas!HATERZ..ASSEMBLE!APOLOGISTS...UNITE!THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!!!
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Jun 20, 2009 4:30:33 PM CDT
Look, it's not The Dark Knight, so do take the story for what it
by mr. zeddemore
Yeah - how about we expect more than shitty CGI robots hitting each other?
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I'd be amazed if Bay could write a cheque, let alone a script.
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More giant robots bitches!! And I'm talkin about the old purple and grey ones not the pussy blue ones we saw the head of in X3.
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oh you silly bastards who thought Terminator Salvation tanked in North America because it sucked are in for a rude awakening. THis movie will break box office records and make bajillions overseas! QUALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PROFIT! Prepare for more shit products like this in the future! the age of semi-intelligent summer blockbusters is over. Michael Bay killed it.
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... I posted this link in the GI Joe trailer talkback also, but it got ignored by everyone. http://tinyurl.com/maximushood It's the shooting of the battle scene in Ridley Scott's Robin Hood.
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AND SHIT FALLS OVER!!!!!
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Let's get this party started. This shit just got *real*.
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Jun 20, 2009 4:37:32 PM CDT
Those reviews read like a re-cap of the first film's reviews.
by mr. nice gaius
Basically, it sounds like Bay needs a tighter edit and needs to cut down on the toilet humor stuff. Does that about cover it? And to find people bitching about the sequel as being "too big" or having too much robot carnage is kinda funny. Reminds me of the KING KONG overload.
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... GIGANTIC TESTICLES. MICHAEL BAY IS OBSESSED WITH BIG TESTICLES. HOW MANY PEOPLE AROUND THE GLOBE ARE OBSESSED WITH BIG TESTICLES. LET'S FIND OUT...
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Word, yo!
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BIG BALLS LOVERS. ARE YOU A BIG BALLS LOVER? DO YOU LOVE BIG BALLS? IF SO BUY A TICKET TO SEE TRANSFORMERS 2. IT'S A MOVIE FOR BIG BALLS LOVERS EVERYWHERE!
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FACT!
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So, what you're saying is that TRANSFORMERS 2 has got balls!
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from 2 years ago, didn't you?
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Jun 20, 2009 4:43:09 PM CDT
u cant turn your brain off, turns out youre just fucking stupid
by bmacsmith
there are big dumb summer blockbusters, and then there is shit like Transformers and GI Joe. they shouldnt even qualify as films. they are products.
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY
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FUCK MICHAEL BAY
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No problem with that thesis. I FUCKING HATE PRODUCT FILMMAKING! FUCK IT!Better?
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a free line of cocaine. Sent with Michael Bay's love.
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Jun 20, 2009 4:46:10 PM CDT
If apparently no character gets much screen time...
by zombieheathledger
...how the hell is it over two hours long?
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What? This guy goes from small roles to suddenly he's a leading man now? Is this because Speilberg wants him to be? Shia is not action/big budget material. I thinks its safe to say that it didnt matter WHO was in the lead for this-people go to see the Transformers, period. I have nothing against Shia but I just dont get the hollywood PR machinery that is invested in him becoming a major star, and why they have attached their ticket to this star.
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Jun 20, 2009 4:46:54 PM CDT
I didn't read all of the reviews, but was there a robot scat par
by fuckmichaelbay
Figured that would be a sequel move.
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You're late! Prepare to be chastised by AssimovLives for posting an unfunny, redundant joke in Talkback!Oh wait, Assimov hates Bay and his BAYFORMERS!Nevermind!
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I flipped through the comic and saw a few scenes with him.
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Because Bay is incapable of delivering a film that is under 2 hours or not shitty.
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This is a talkback, not your personal ad. ;)
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so why is everyone surprised that the script is fucking useless shit!
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i still think a prison sentence is in order for that travesty.
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do an all-Decepticon anal gangbang?
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Why do they waste their time? Makes zero sense for someone who dislikes Bay and Transformers (and hardcore action) to see this movie... let alone review it...
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because it's fun to trash Bayhem.
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and A.O. Scott's review was the best, laugh-out-loud movie review I've ever read. He said something like he cheered when the enemy arrive - hilarious.
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this is a KIDS movie. It's for KIDS. You know, the objects of your masturbatory fantasies?
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..but didn't a robot or two die in the first one?
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Like when transforming from vehicle to robot, I think I heard it once or twice in the film.
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Kids movies are G or PG, not PG-13. This is a movie for lemmings.
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... a loud dumb movie for loud dumb people. I very nearly fell asleep towards the end during the endless Egypt battle bit. The teenagers in the row behind loved it though (and would not shut the fuck up). I would not be surprised to find out they were the ones who'd actually written it.
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I bet he thought Wolverine was the greatest movie he ever saw.
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Jun 20, 2009 4:58:31 PM CDT
It's a movie about cars that can change into robots!
by one_guy_from_andromeda
Are you guys insane?? You discuss this as if it was a movie and not a commercial.
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...with her wonky thumbs up his ass! http://tinyurl.com/na8wst
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That's my favorite review for this latest excretion by MB. Suck it, morons!
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I'm looking forward to Public Enemies.
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Every Michael Bay film will be a shot of an explosion, followed by a camera swirling around someone, followed by an explosion, followed by a camera swirling around someone, followed by an explosion, followed by a camera swirling around someone, follewed by an explosion. Repeat for two hours. Whats that? Its happened already? DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY.
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mark my words
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...more Megan Fox
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as someone who kinda liked the first Transformers 2 was dreadful. A complete shambles of a film. Badly edited, acted and filmed. The film honestly loses all momentum half way through and just becomes a chore to sit through. Even worst is the fact that all the human characters are annoying as hell. People say you should shut your brain off to enjoy a dumb blockbuster...to enjoy Transformers 2 you need to go full brain dead.
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or would we all lose?
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Bay literally blows everything up to the point of not caring -- that's just great. Sounds like Bay and his juvenile humor isn't helping this either... not to mention a lack of talent when it comes to directing actors. What the fuck Mike? When u gonna wake up and get some respect from someone other than fandorks?
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Jun 20, 2009 5:09:55 PM CDT
lockesbrokenleg: Me fucking your Mom is the best film of '09..
by fuckmichaelbay
...and WOLVERINE blows.
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To all of you who think it sounds shit, don't go and see it. No ones forcing you to.
For those who appreciate the kind of director Bay is and want to see Transformers 1 + everything, go see it. It's still gonna make squillions and there'll probably be a third (though fuck knows where they can go with it after this one). So haters, don't watch it. -
Anyone who defends this tripe is disappointing, but you especially my BSG loving brother.
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the time of the shaky cam pg-13 shitfests needs to come to an end!
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UNLESS YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH TESTICLES.
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then hew made Pearl Harbor. He literally thought you could add a few talky parts and maybe a love scene, and that was enough to make an oscar winner. he's that fucking stupid.He could be my hero if he would admit publically that he has no respect for audiences and was just trying to make the trailer possible. I could respect him for taking money from braindead idiots.
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I absolutely love the fact people absolutely love these movies or hate them. Never any middle ground. Harry, you need to post TF TB's at least once a week!
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YOU PRICK!!!! ENJOY THOUGH!!! I DID YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT. SHE SAYS HI!
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Toss this on the big, smelly pile of burning tires and dogshit that has been the Summer Blockbusters of 2009.
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Because Devastator will be tea bagging our eyes first!
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how amazing would that be? What if studios were forced to inject some quality into summer movies again? I know it cant possibly happen, but what an amazing world that would be to live in. imagine a world where shit movies were punished and good movies made tons of money! i am a hater, and not only will i not pay to watch, i will spread my message of Bayformers hate as far as possible.
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and go see THE PROPOSAL instead next weekend. That'll show Bay!
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So the verdict: the same as last time. Amazingly fun beautifully realized visual spectacular with no brains, but people who are SMART enough to realize that going in will be able to turn their brains off and enjoy it for what it is: giant robots beating each other up and Megan Fox looking hot.
Anyone that DOESN'T know how to just have fun with this kind of stupid film is an idiot, there I said it. There's a difference between being discerning and having a wide-variety of tastes, including both brainless and thought-provoking pieces...and just being a snob and/or internet troll who says shit to get on people's nerves.
Can't wait to see this film, it looks to be easily on par with the first if not better in action and effects. I will be going in with my brain off and my sense of fun in-tact, sadly something most film critics and AICN talkbackers don't have (neither a brain nor a sense of fun). -
gonna make a gillion dollars
Even though it'll offend the people who should be it's greatest audience -
It is a very conflicting film. i liked the first one, and i wouldn't tell people to not see it, but don't expect a better movie. but you WILL hate those two jar jar robots.
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Good to see you, sir. Well, I'm not exactly "defending" it. I enjoyed the first film; I didn't think it was as bad as some folks made it out to be. (In fact, I enjoyed it more than INDY 4.)But I do get a kick out of these TRANSFORMERS Talkbacks - they were the source of some of AICN's most spirited "debates" and a beacon for full-on geekdom. So, if I come off looking a bit like a cheerleader, it's only because I'm trying to rally people back to that frenzied state.So say we all.
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Don't be "frightened". You're just going to go along with whatever the critics say, so go ahead and declare it "shit" and get it over with.
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Is part of the film community vernacular that I wish could be perma-banned.
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I thought the film was terrible. But what became painfully obvious as I sat through it is that it's going to make a hell of a lot of money. The audience around me laughed at all the jokes, they loved the craptastic action.
This movie appeals to the lowest common denominator and I've come to the conclusion that some human beings are smart but but the human race as a whole is idiotic. -
"i will spread my message of Bayformers hate as far as possible. "
LMAO -
... TO LAUGH MY FUCKING ASS OFF AT ALL THE CLOWNS WHO PAY TO SEE THIS BORING PIECE OF SHIT TOY COMMERCIAL!
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Jun 20, 2009 5:32:08 PM CDT
How many writers does it take to ruin a TF movie
by trannyformers_apologist
3 hahahahhahahahahahahaha
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Ahlalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
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...prior to seeing a film: 3 beers (or shots) prior to film, followed by 2 more (if possible) during the film.Imbibe (if possible) marijuana prior to and during (if possible) said film.If unable to do above, huffing paint fumes and/or Dust-Off will also have similar results.
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yeah
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Some great CGI, more development of the robots as their own characters, but then there's also too much coarse humour for the lowest common denominator. It is a film for all, but done the quick and dirty way.
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Jun 20, 2009 5:38:56 PM CDT
Robots with black personalities look like monkeys
by trannyformers_apologist
LMAO
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AWESOME BAYHEM S'PLOSIONS!!!!!!
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i would love it if you turn your brain off permanently. just admit you have absolutely no standards, taste or intelligence. i expect my movies to have at least a base level of plot and characterization. not fucking Shakespeare writing, but writing that is at least semi-intelligent. Transformers doesnt even qualify under those forgiving standards. its just stupid. i would prefer to see Transformers 2 with every single non action scene edited out. why are they there? they dont advance any kind of story. they do nothing but pad the running time and add to the boredom.
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Once had yummy labia!
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Jun 20, 2009 5:42:49 PM CDT
Sam's mom eats pot brownies..HILARIOUS ZANY ANTICS ENSUE
by trannyformers_apologist
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Using this term as a defense for liking these movies is an admission that you agree these movies are fucking retarded.
I can respect someone who can admit that and still say they like the movie, but I will never respect someone who says "check your brain at the door" and then calls me a snob for hating Bay and his shitfest films.
Is it really snobbery to have hoped for Raiders when I saw Indy4 and then hated Indy4, should i have turned off my Raiders loving brain and just accepted and enjoyed the absolute atrocity/stupidity that Indy4 is, especially in light of the fact that it shares its pedigree with Raiders?
"Turn of your brain" is synonymous with "I am a retarded jackass who deserves to have Bay shit in my mouth." -
I WON'T EVEN WASTE MY HARD DRIVE SPACE TO ILLEGALLY D/L THIS GARBAGE!
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Michael Bay wins again!
by Boober Jun 20th, 2009
02:43:50 PM
Jokes on them. To release the popcorn-and-blockbuster loving kid inside, these lauded "crtics" need to evacuate the pretentious, ego-produced shit festering from the depths of their colon to their eyeballs. Bring on the Bipolar reviews. Win-win. Newsflash: It's giant robots beating the hell out of each other with the military and people caught in hte middle. Duh...you pretentious M-F*ckers. Here's a hanky. Go decry your misgivings to some Ivy League Mensa Panel who cares.
The way some of you complain, you'd actual crave this movie if it were "The Notebook" with gaint robots in it.
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I'm a child of the late 80's, but Transformers kind of passed me by as a youngster(I was more catered to the era of TMNT). So when I saw the original 2 years ago, with essentially no expectations, I thought it was a pretty fun movie. Forgettable once you exit the theatre, but at least fun. And i'm the type of guy who likes to smoke a j, hit a midnight showing of the latest popcorn summer schlock and turn my brain off for 2 hours... and sadly, this summer hasn't even afforded me any quality films in that regard(in fact, the only enjoyable movie-going experience for me this summer has been The Hangover). so yes, i'll be there, probably opening night, lit to the dickens and gawking at the screen like a jackass while big things blow up
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Jun 20, 2009 5:47:58 PM CDT
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by trannyformers_apologist
Movie theater ushers bash the audience in the head with a hammer before seeing Transformers 2
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"Here's a hanky. Go decry your misgivings to some Ivy League Mensa Panel who cares."
You know how annoying it is to suggest that these terrible movies are above what we know as objective criticism. If you don't like the movie, you are automatically a pretentious prick that doesn't like action movies. There is no room for subtlety. The movie should be 100% review-wise, or else you didn't watch it properly. *eye roll* -
you are an "Ivy League Mensa Panelist" or that you are expecting Shakespeare. not that you expect some base level of plot, or fun likeable characters, or at the very least something to pass the time between giant robots fighting scenes. Bay cant even deliver that. Im really not that hard to please. its really simple, but they cant even do that right. Why would i sit through this shit in a theater when i could just download it, and skip past the boring parts (roughly 90 percent of the movie) to see the few cool parts?
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Jun 20, 2009 5:51:10 PM CDT
Gold buck toothed "Gangsta" robots steal the show!
by trannyformers_apologist
Fans declare Bay a VISIONARY!
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If anything surprises me it's that now I would rather sit through GI Joe than Bayformers 2.
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"Tummysticks with Michael Bay.
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Jun 20, 2009 5:53:34 PM CDT
Highly advanced robots that fart,cuss, hump and can't read
by trannyformers_apologist
with weapon penises
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They should have given them all gats to carry around and they should grab their crotches when they move from place to place. Also, they sing to themselves moderately loudly while standing on street corners with headphones on.
I'm a genius. They need to hire me as a creative consultant. -
"The question was “who is the greatest hero in all of fiction?” and the unanimous answer? Optimus Prime."
Wow. So a bunch of losers thought that Opitmus Prime is the greatest hero in ALL OF FICTION. What intellectual giants you and and your friends must be. I mean, Optimus Prime, who can compare? Surely not King Arthur? Or even if you want to go with something more modern, surely not Gandalf or Frodo. That doesn't even mention anyone from Ancient Greek/Roman mythology. I mean, how can Odessyus measure up to Optimus Prime? Philip Marlowe also comes to mind. Sherlock Holmes. Oh well, I think the fact that such fanboys as these messed themeselves over what is going to a CGI, multimillion dollar FX laden turd as this or any other Transformers movie, makes me want to dismiss it out of hand. -
And that's what we're getting. Who gives a fuck about the plot when you're watching robo-porn.
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Hopefully the next movie will show a robot taking a dumb in a human's mouth. GET ON THAT BAY YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER NEXT TIME!
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... ALMOST AS MUCH AS HIS HERO MICHAEL BAY DOES.
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the horrible cliche dialogue is off the motherfucken chart!!!!!!!!!!
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WE HAVE SPAM BOTS!!!
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Here's a common theme within all of the negative reviews. Most of them started out by saying they hate Michael Bay and they hated the first one. Yet, these motherfuckers continue pay for this movies for some odd reason.
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Pretty to look at, but really doesn't do much in the long run?
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Jun 20, 2009 6:00:38 PM CDT
BBBBBUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLLEBBBEEEE!!! OOOOPPPPTIIMUSUSU
by trannyformers_apologist
Robots emote better than the humans
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and an hour of Jarjar bots, pee jokes, slomotion rotating camera shots of people doing nothing, bad writing and bad acting. oh, and the hour of brutal robot action will be shot with a shaky cam, and quick editted to the point where the robots wont be recognizable as robots. they will look like whirling tornadoes of scrap metal. it will be pure visual noise.fucking awesome.
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Excellent stuff, genuinely. Top marks.
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best part of the first shitfest
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...but, they will be neutral, like Switzerland.
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14 minutes of incoherent action!
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The Autobots walk into a talent agency. It's Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, Ironhide and Ratchet. Optimus says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent robot acts. They're a little too Michael Bay."
The Bumblebee says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The family lines up and Ratchet paws Jazz which then begins to play some current, overexposed rap song.
In time with the music, Optimus powders up his hand with a tube of motor oil found in his right breast flap and back-hands Bumblebee with the force of a Tyson knockout. Oil flies from the mother's mouth and splatters across Jazz, who in turn, like Optimus, bitch slaps Ratchet with the same gusto.
Optimus takes Jazz by arms and begins to force feed his metallic cock down his throat, his eyes tear and her nose begins to bleed and the room is silent except for her high-decibel gags. Bumblebee then grabs Ratchet and knocks him to the ground with a swift kick to the taint and pins his arms behind his back, lifts up his front flap and begins using his mouth as his urinal. Piss backs up in his throat and begins to pour out of his nose. Optimus pulls his pruned cock out of Jazz's mouth and grabs him by his mouth and his dirty starfish and dwarf-tosses him across the room into the wall.
Yadda, yadda, yadda, THE ARISTOCRATS!!!
EXPLOSIONS!
ROLL CREDITS -
Jun 20, 2009 6:05:11 PM CDT
WoW, it's alarming how many UK haters paid for MB's movie
by ganymede3010
The same bloody bastards who disparaging TF1 went out on opening night to pay, and see something they truly hate.
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When apologists say, "why do you assholes even pay to see his films anymore?!?!" and then when we DON'T they say, "You can't say anything about it if you didn't see it!!!"
Ho ho ho - talk about circular idiocy that will make your head fucking spin! -
Bay shouldn't have fucked with the Gen 1 designs, story and voice acting. This is what happens when you change everything and just keep the name.
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Don't you get that I'm just playfully throwing gas on the fire because really negative and really positive reveiws sell this movie?
Here's the core of the conflict, methinks.
Bay and his writers are appealing to the nostalgia of the 20 and 30 somethings and also to their kids (father's day). The younger generation moves at a tech pace beyond what is comfortable to my gen, but I get it. So the writer's make concessions to cover both demographics and make the studio a S-load of money.
It doesn't take an IQ of 150 to realize that. As wtih said movie, don't take AICN talkbackers too seriously. The same pitfalls are there. There is a reason my nick is Boober...Is TF3 and Unicron scheduled for production yet? Why stop at overkill when you can have a transforming DEATHSTAR!!!! WOOT! -
Bay herald by fans a epic genius of mythical proportions!
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So art really does imitate life!
I knew this movie would suck loads of body temp. shit! But nobody should really be surprised that Megan plays a slut. SHE even admits as much in her interviews...but I'll give her major props for cashing in on just being herself. -
i can't stop laughing at the switzerland thing, and i'm not really sure why. probably the thc
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but I will watch it when I can borrow someones pirated DVD. Fuck You Bay.
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Now that's moronic.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:13:08 PM CDT
Well Bay wanted everthing to be bigger.... robot balls included
by trannyformers_apologist
BREAKING NEWS!!!
Fans praise for Bay for taking Devastator and reducing him to comic relief and background fodder! -
and lets be honest...given that "OK" movies script...that ain't saying much.Want to see the real Orci? Then go right ahead and waste your $12 bucks swallowing this cinematic equivalent to retard spunk.
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SHIT BEYOND BELIEF.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:16:08 PM CDT
Megan Fox's toe thumbs regarded as distracting
by trannyformers_apologist
..........and very unprofessional... border line FUCKING amateur FUCKS SAKES MAN!!!!
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Jun 20, 2009 6:18:25 PM CDT
I say this movie will do 200+ million in it's first 5 days.
by ganymede3010
And each day it surpasses another 100 million I'm going to come here and rub it smack dab in the middle of the haters faces.
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In case any of you 13 year olds here want to teach yourself how to beat off now.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:19:31 PM CDT
Star Trek's writing is the worst part of the whole fucking movie
by trannyformers_apologist
How come they didn't get three writers to make Star Trek like they did for this movie????????????????????
Look at what a great job 3 writers did for this movie! -
Just as it's predecessor did:) BOOYAHH.
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How many more cliches can we hit before 8 PM EST?! Stay tuned!
The American Public is soooo goddamned stupid. Of COURSE this shitfest is going to explode at the BO. -
and it's fucking wretched. Wake up people. Demand more out of your "brainless popcorn movies" than shit like this. A movie doesn't have to cost $250 million with 140 minutes worth of shaky cam and FX to be a "brainless" crowd pleaser. And here's the secret- the very best "brainless popcorn movies" actually do have a brain; they're just overtly intellectual. See THE HANGOVER or DRAG ME TO HELL.
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Susan Boyle as a Transformer.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:23:17 PM CDT
FuckMichaelBay has really seen Treansformers 100 times
by lockesbrokenleg
He's really obsessed.
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Just how many Americans love big testicles? Transformers 2's domestic box office tally will have the answer.
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too soon?
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Bayformers creates 10,000 rabid 30 year old, toy collecting virgins and lonely high school debate team rejects every hour.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:26:10 PM CDT
I wanna see Megatron & Optimus spit roast Megan Fox.
by scriptgirl_nipples
Then slurp on Bumblebee's cock, like Harry on JJ Abrams.
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... IF YOU ACTUALLY PAY TO SEE THIS BORING PIECE OF SHIT.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:28:24 PM CDT
thing is you can have a good movie AND giant robots fighting
by bmacsmith
you can make any shitty subject into a good movie, even 80s toys. its really not that hard. you just have to put forth a little effort. for 200 million you'd think someone would find the time. Based on summer 2009, they arent even trying anymore. and the worst part is they dont have to.
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The 80's animated film is probably evidence of that. Imagine, for a second, that it was exactly the same, except for live action. Probably pretty close in quality - and definitely not a shitfest.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:30:55 PM CDT
this movie is *definitely* getting Jack Sparrow'ed.
by jackknifed_juggernaut
no way am i paying a dime.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:31:49 PM CDT
AWESOME ROBOT FIGHTING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by trannyformers_apologist
Fans of Shitformers 2 have to wait before giving their review! Until they get the Blue Ray and watch it in slow mo 8 billion times.... they won't able to decipher what they just saw.
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I had no desire to see this after seeing the shit stain that was the first film and after reading some of this stuff it's just as well. Robot nads? Come on... More ass clown humor from the master of it Michael Bay!!! Why does he keep on making movies?
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...so you can't possibly have fucked her last night. I saw TF once and that was enough to know its shit...you know, like the stuff on the tip of my dick after giving your Mom hard anal.
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Fans of Bay shout from their toy boxs "You can never get tired of Linkin Park!" ROBOT ACTION IS ThE BAYHEM OF S'PLOSIONS EPIC WINSAUSE I LOVE UGLY ROBOT TOYS
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"This movie appeals to the lowest common denominator and I've come to the conclusion that some human beings are smart but but the human race as a whole is idiotic."Sounds like my reaction to the first one: by the end of the film I found myself wishing I had a button to end the human race.
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...it slows to a crawl. So much could have been cut out. Why is Deep Roy in it? It was nice to see the guy, but that whole scene added nothing. The final battle scene, with Shia and his unpleasant squinty girlfriend trying to reach the army, seems to last forever. They only have to progress a mile. Did we have to see it in real time?
Jon Turturro is funnier this time around (and did the voice of Jetfire, surprisingly), and the first ninety minutes were great, especially the scene in the forest. It just loses all of its energy. Disappointing, but hell, it's better than that piece of shit Wolverine movie. That's the stupidest movie of the century. Compared to that, Transformers 2 is Goodfellas. -
i think Michael Bay might some day soon reach that plateau where he's hated so vehemently by so many people, that he quickly 180's into some kind of satirical nerd hero. i mean, i know nothing about the guy except for his hilarious verizon commercials where hes blowing up barbecue's and riding siberian tigers.
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Best stripper on the strip.
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CRITICS RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!!!!!!!
It based on a dumb cartoon what did they expect .....SHAKESPEARE??????????? GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS MAKE LOUD NOISES AND S'PLOSIONS -
If you're on Twitter, set your location to Tehran & your time zone to GMT +3.30. Iranian security forces are hunting for bloggers using location/timezone searches. The more people at this location, the more of a logjam it creates for forces trying to shut down Iranians' access to the internet. Cut & paste & pass it on
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Jun 20, 2009 6:42:04 PM CDT
Hasbro speaks :"GODDAMN the cartoon was never this dumb or retar
by trannyformers_apologist
Fans PRAISE BAY ARE VISIONARY GENIUS
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he was the tiny alien in Star Trek, too. Pointless character.
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Looks like it'll be a lot of dumb fun, just like the first.
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What a shit Summer this turned out to be. Oh well. Roll on 2010.
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...next to someone with a mental handicap. He loved this movie.
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taking their favorite Transformers and replacing them with two, gold buck toothed, mongoloid, jive ass, racist, cussing retardobots of his creation!
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Basically if you didn't like Bay and didn't like the first one, you won't like this. If you do, and you did, then you will. Bay is a known quantity. All of his movies are gonna be about the same thing. His quality control is astounding. But bottom line is that this will be the top grossing film of the year. And therefore will provide all of you elitist film snobs with additional ammo to continue in your obvious belief that you are so much smarter than the rest of us.
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The films are not for you.
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Jun 20, 2009 6:49:08 PM CDT
StarskyandHushky: Yeah, his name was Mr. Nice Gauis...
by fuckmichaelbay
...you didn't recognize him from the constant quoting of others words and a haunting mantra chant of "POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU...POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!"
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Jun 20, 2009 6:50:16 PM CDT
Maybe it's me but I'm not getting enough apologizing...
by mr. nice gaius
...from Trannyformers_Apologist...
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Don't treat MNG like that.Have at you!
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Synopis: Michael Bay (Don Swayze with his brother's hair from 'Roadhouse') travels the world on a fucking tiger searching for the owner of the world's biggest testicles. Having spent his entire fortune on male prostitutes he eventually collapses and dies in a motel room whilst masturbating over his favorite photograph of Bruce Willis' testicles (the one where Michael Bay actually has them in his mouth and is crying tears of joy). Directed by Michael Bay.
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EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED! Well, some of us anyways are happy w/ that. Whirling masses of CGI Metallic BOOM! Works for me. And it has Giant Robots, too!
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He is a follower, but he thinks he is hot shit on these boards? God knows why. He's a fucking asshole.
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... the lame copout "What were you expecting, Shakespeare?" argument. Nobody goes into a giant alien robot war flick expecting Richard III. But um gee, how about Die Hard, or Terminator 1-3, or Aliens, or Raiders of the lost Ark, or Braveheart, or The Last Samurai, or The Empire Strikes Back, or X2, or Spiderman 2, or Jurassic Park,or The Incredibles. Ya see, it seems to me that it has been proven many times over that slam bang crowd pleasing big budget action spectacle and COMPETENT storytelling can in fact both be pulled off at the same time. But what really casts the light of ironic ridiculousness on the Shakespeare cop out is that Transformers is of the modern pedigree of big, loud, dumb action movie, that can't even get the ACTION part right. Give me one modern action sequence or fight scene that isn't zoom lensed, shakycammed, and tourette's syndrome edited to within an 1/8 of an inch of its life and i'll shut up. But when a Giant Robots Fightin flick can't even competently execute giant robot fights, spare me the sarcasm.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:02:23 PM CDT
Where's Soundwave? Where's everything we loved from the cartoon?
by orionsangels
Reimagining everything your way bay sucks ass!!!!!!!
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That seems to be in every digital movie these days. Whatever happened to good ol' fashion color?
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RENOWNED TESTICLE FETISHIST MICHAEL BAY DELIVERS EXACTLY WHAT SAL BANDO DESIRES.
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Plus you get neat mexican-bots who don't read that much in there, too!
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I AM DEFENDING MY PEOPLES. PLUS I ALSO TOOK YOUR JOB AND MY DOG FUCKED YOUR SISTER. PS: I'M A PRIUS AND I JUST RAN OVER YOUR CAT TOO.
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I'm actually going to do something that no one else seems to do: I'm going to acknowledge one of your posts.
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i cant think of a better moronic crossover than CSI: Bayformers. it would be fucking comedy gold. just have one long slow motion, orbiting shot of David Caruso fighting Decepticons! the colors would be so saturated your retinas would burn out.
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According to THIS site, it's very mixed. According to all the other geek sites, it's very mixed. According to Rotten Tomatoes, it's pretty low, but we all know that that kind of opinion is mattering less and less, with the demographic based critics that are all over the internet, these days.Honestly, I didn't much care for the first one, but it delivered all that mattered: robots beating each other up. That's what this one will do and that's why those who are in the right theater watching it will be pleased and it will make bang-ups bucks.
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Now granted, most hot chicks in movies don't have to be good actresses, just likable and Fox was not likable in Transformers. She comes off as a prude and half the time I can't hear what she says. Now of course she's a hot piece of ass, so our raging hormones see passed all this, but when you take her hotness away, she comes off as stuck up, i'm too good for you bitch.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:10:37 PM CDT
Best Part of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by trannyformers_apologist
Cringe inducing comedy and toilet humor that would make a 8 year old vomit in disgust. AWESOME
Bay declared greatest director of all time!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Harry said that the word on this flick was that it's awful. These reviews show mixed to me.
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What's up you crazy bastard!Are you ready? BIG FUCKING ROBOTS are here once again.
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yeah, that yellow/orange hue from the original was distracting at times. it made every actor look like they just stepped out of a $15 spray-tan booth. the sad part is, doing digital color correction like that costs the filmmakers like $4 a frame. what does that work out to for a 2-hour film like Transformers? $700,000 for all the actors to look like Simpsons characters, i guess. Mitchell Amundsen is a solid DP though, so i wont dog him too much
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It was pretty much the same as the first one, but bigger/stupider.
I couldn't work out what was happening in half of the action scenes & as most people have mentioned, the "humour" was atrocious. It also suffers from Bay's inventions (in other words, all the needless Shia & military stuff that has fuck all to do with Transformers. & Optimus Prime still has a face like an old woman's vagina. Trust me, I know;-).
Some of the fights were a bit better though. I think maybe Bay has actually been watching the old cartoons & tried to at least give them a bit of the old cheesy feel, with Optimus Prime duking it out. Other than that, if you didn't like the first one, you won't like this at all.
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On Conan last night it was still in bandages. His hand is obviously never going to be the same, but he seems to be taking it well. He's probably one of these, well i lost my arm, but I'm grateful for what I got. Because shit he fucked up that hand worse than I thought.
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It's his unintentional trademark.
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it was an hour of bad jokes and annoying characters, with a few minutes at the end for robots fighting, except they were so poorly designed and edited i couldnt tell if they were robots or abstract sculptures. i assume this is more of the same.
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I so love reading all the comments on geek-friendly flicks like this, and don't post very often. I class myself as a geek, a big one, but not one who feels a personal slight against my very being when a vague trait of a character is changed in the translation from cartoon/comic/old TV show/old movie to Summer blockbuster. What the fuck happened to proper Summer films, the ones that were written and made not to sell shit, but to be brilliant in and of themselves? Back to the Future. Raiders. Ghostbusters. Fuck, even Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one)? So here's how it boils down if you're not an uber-geek, here's what I'd say the "normal" moviegoer thinks: Terminator Salvation: Totally forgettable. A load of fucking noise for nothing, but well made, enjoyable, but utterly senseless in and of itself. Star Trek: Fun as fuck. Likeable protagonists, a plot which propels itself forward and doesn't pause for breath, character driven as opposed to set-piece driven, funny, great. The Hangover: Fucking hilarious. Not built around "stars", built around a fucking funny script. G.I. Joe: Sorry, America - no one in the whole world gives a flying fuck. In the U.K. it was "Action Man", and no one really remembers that anyway. It looks awful. It will bomb. I think that's about it, but I'm hammered on pints. We drink properly in Blighty. Oh yes.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:21:45 PM CDT
CRUMPLED BEERCANS ROLLING DOWN A HILL IN A TIGHT CLOSE-UP
by fuckmichaelbay
aka TRANSFORMERS!
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quit blaming him for problems you people have with the story/screenplay! man that's irritating. if yer gonna take the time to post/talkback whatever, at least know a little about basic, ground-level filmmaking. fuck that's irritating.
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...but sometimes I can't resist a softball.
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You know, a movie that's entertaining AND doesn't require you to "turn your brain off."
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The problem with Transformers is that it isn't just "vague traits of a character" that has been changed. In most cases, the very essences of the characters themselves have been changed.
Most of all, it should be pointed out that they've been NEEDLESSLY changed.
By that, I mean changed for no other reason than Bay & his hack writers were arrogant enough to think "We don't like those characters, so we'll just change them." In which case, what's the fucking point? -
nobody does excessive, blatant, in your face,shitty toilet humor, racism, sexism, product placement, military fetish, hard core MTV music video cheese,shaky cam, coked out zoomed in 1 second editing,20 camera using, hack commercial/music video directing like Bay. FUCK THE CRITICS!!!!! BAY HAS 200 Million DOLLAR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I hear ya. I'm guilty of that myself sometimes. Next time, use someone like lockesbrokenleg.Heh.
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For a director that doesn't have any control over his scripts, Bay's movies all seem pretty damn identical in that department: uniformly bad. Make no mistake, he likes 'em dumb, Real dumb. Anything that isn't wouldn't get past his approval. "Subtext!?! Characterization??!??? Emotional involvement !?!?!? What the hell is this crap??" He'd roar, demanding the script be sent back to the table for extensive rewrites and loads of robot pissing, humping, and pop culture phrases like "My bad" and "Damn I'm good" thrown in.
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these reviews make it sound like its better than the first. where do you get the opposite?
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so is every other movie. if you just refuse to have standards, every movie is awesome! so this is how the brainless sheep of the world view life! wow, i envy them. i wish i could enjoy being spoonfed shit. its like they are stoned 24 hours a day!
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Jun 20, 2009 7:31:43 PM CDT
If you cant follow the action, wow, well, I feel sorry for you
by lockesbrokenleg
Get some fucking glasses.
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Bay makes the writers adjust the script to suit his directing style.... more explosions less talkyFact: Bay encourages excessive ad libbing and overacting from his actors (when his not making them cry) Spielberg praise Bay for " finding the comedy in a scene.. that wasn't on the page"
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BumbleBee vs Barricade Fight Pretty much the whole final fight scene
Megatron vs Prime All wasted on zoomed in, blurry, shaky, close ups. -
I wear glasses & I can't follow all of the action.
You can feel sorry for me if you want, but it'd only end in me telling you to man up. -
That's all. To hell with Transformers.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:37:58 PM CDT
I'm sorry but defending Bayformers seems impossible to me
by spectrebeeyatch
I love reading defensive posts about it. It's like the defenders of these two movies want people to know they have no taste or that they are stupid. I don't really care that much about these movies. The first one was HORRIBLE just on a movie standard not even comparing it to comics or show. Since they didn't seem to change anything for the second one I will assume it's more of the same.
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...and MUCH preferred the 1st one. This one was so much worse but still had its cool moments/scenes. The 1st seemed to have a bit more going for it, and at least was entertaining in parts
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and thank God people love him for it!
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Even if a man called Jesus existed, the magic wizard guy was invented by crazy men who lived in the desert & argued over sheep & stuff.
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didn't finish that last thought, but oh well...i think if you go in with a bad attitude for any film - or any entertainment for that matter - i don't think you can get your mind changed magically. that's the vibe i get from a lot of these reviews. some are downright ignorant, in their typical 'almighty talkbacker' post, where their opinion is gospel, and anyone who disagrees is a fool. that's a tired tune, but i suppose we'll always have folks who think that way. nothing could keep me from seeing this film and i'm excited as hell. i'm very glad i don't know people like 'vadikinX'. what an unbelievably sad chump.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:45:12 PM CDT
President Obama says to Mikey eBay "You're a big-ass director"
by trannyformers_apologist
Bay then says "I hate black people." later that night Bay designs racist monkey looking robots to celebrate the occasion!!
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I saw a docu about him not too long ago, where he went around killing vampires.
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i disagree that he has total control, but yer post is funny as hell. you do bring up good points, and i guess what i was trying to get across is that he doesn't introduce the stuff people are upset with - but yes he does give his opinion. i guess we'll never know how much unless we're opened up to that process on a dvd or something. again, funny ass post man.
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http://tinyurl.com/mmgvjc
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Prepare for lifetime of lonely saturday nights and soiled Red Dwarf underoos.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:48:40 PM CDT
OBAMA loved Star Trek! He was making Vulcan hand signs
by lockesbrokenleg
all night at the dinner thing.
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On the totalfilm website, giving a run down on the entire history of Transformers, from toys to the new film.
It seems that Bay actually has full story control. He comes up with the story, then gets hiw writers to fill it in & makes them re-write it until he's happy.
So if there's a shit joke in his movies, he probably demanded it. -
Jun 20, 2009 7:49:43 PM CDT
You say the you like the first one, and you liked parts
by lockesbrokenleg
of it, then you say this one had good moments, too? WTF?!!!
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a sea dudes wearing white wife beaters with white towels around their necks, 16yr old stroller pushing welfare bitches with Dollar Store flip flops, dirty feet and wrist tattoos; Mullet sporting obese white guys who smell of Natty Ice and are clad in circa 1987 "Slaughter" t-shirts, a throng of teen aged guys all driving sticker rich 1993 Honda Civics with wings the size of fucking picnic tables on the trunk; a huge mob of candied up, pimple faced 2.0gpa near retards who got dropped off by their thrice divorced Xanax popping mothers, 40yr old guys who are being dragged to this shit by the kids they wished they never had just to get away from the women they had wished they never married, and about 5 guys from AICN.Bayformers is to Cinema what Jessica Simpson is to music...it is art to people who can't think beyond their next reflexive, instinctual urge...it is fodder for the lowest common denominator...it isn't even fun, or inventive it is just insulting and stupid. If you like it good for you..you are easily entertained. But I ain't putting cent one in Bay or Orci's fucking pockets.
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regardless my feelings...this piece of shit is a guaranteed cash register. America...fuck that...the WORLD is FULL of retards. The only way it could make MORE is if they had done away with ANY logical plot whatsoever and just made it random scenes of tits, ass and CGI robots.
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Your post came directly after mine. If it's me you're talking to, I didn't like the first one & didn't say I liked it.
I do however, like Transformers (at least in a nostalgic way) & I like the odd moment in the movies that feel like Transformers, but those are few & far between.
I would never go so far as to say I liked the first movie. I didn't especially like the sequel either. It is what it is, brainless fun. Spectacle.
It'll be like the first one in my memory. In 2 weeks time, the good bits will be forgotten & only the bad parts will stand out. -
your description of the transformers 2 line read impressively like a Nas lyric. and thats a complement, although a random one
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I thought the first movie had enough moments where it was like the cartoon while being new at the same time. I love the action at the end.
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Was, for me at least, that the fight scenes reminded me of the old cartoon.
Especially the part that I won't spoil too much, but it's in the trailer, with Prime getting the shit kicked out of him. That was really old school, albeit the look was different. It just FELT like Transformers.
Those are the bits I enjoy. Like the bits in Bond movies where he acts like a sadistic prick. That's the character. I don't mind sitting through drivel as long as the good bits are cool.
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Jun 20, 2009 8:05:04 PM CDT
lockesbrokenleg: Exactly what pair of magic glasses can one wea
by fuckmichaelbay
...to see the action better. It's crumpled beercans rolling down a hill in a close-up and that's supposed to be the action I missed. You're retarded and both myself and your dead mother agree you need to be medicated.
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Christopher Nolan has passed on Batman 3, Warner Bros. is bringing back Joel Schumacher.
Also, Brett Ratner has confirmed he will be returning for X4.
Suprisingly ScriptGirl forgot to mention that Fox bought Uwe Boll's script for AVP3, he is rumored to be directing as well.
**CUE Bayformers fanboys cumming in their pants** -
He perfectly summed up how I've felt about every Michael Bay film so far.
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you hurl another one of your 'zingers"
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you would hate everything he makes. nuff said.
If this were directed by Steven Spielberg, most of the critics would do their best to find excuses to like ROTF.
This is based on a kiddie cartoon. I don't expect the humans to upstage the robots, for in most episodes of the cartoon, there are no humans. I don't expect depth like I do when I read Shakespeare or whenever I teach it in class.
There is such a thing as a plotless story. Believe me, I took it up in my Master's degree. It focuses on ideas and what it aims to do is to give everyone vicarious experiences of specific situations. An example is The Terminal, where Tom Hanks' character gives us an idea of what it feels like for someone who gets stuck in an airport. Man vs. Wild of Discovery Channel is another example. And Revenge of the Fallen wants to give us what it feels like to ride a roller coaster for over two hours.
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Learn how to spell "to" before your hurl another one of your "zingers"...
Mmmm zingers... -
I don't remember seeing any robot testicles on any roller coasters I've ever ridden. Weird.
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The word "roller coaster" is a hyperbole for the experience of nonstop sensory overload. The word "metaphorical" can also apply here.
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I need to slow down. Drive by typos.
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I've never heard of either of those terms, please also tell us the meaning of the word 'sarcasm" since you obviously missed it in my post.
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Jun 20, 2009 8:28:13 PM CDT
lockesbrokenleg: You can't spell because you're an angry -typin
by fuckmichaelbay
...got it? ZING!
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I drank it up.
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"Believe me, I took it up in my Master's degree."
That's quite a confession.
Too much info, but at least you're comfy with your sexuality. -
Even if you think it's great & feel the need to defend it against the angry little geeks..
There is not & never should be a reason to talk about what you learned in your Masters & relate it to Transformers. Or relate it to the audience experience of Tom Hanks' "The Terminal".
Even the biggest Transformers fans surely realise that theoretical discussion is wasted on a TB about giant robots. -
I just thought making analogies would help those who don't like to think.
And those who have nothing to do but bash without thinking. -
Congratulations. You have taste and fine sensibilities.
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To a woman. With five kids which we procreated in 7 years.
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I would like to see a reality show where people viciously attack Michael Bay's balls every week.
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Jun 20, 2009 8:53:07 PM CDT
Big Robot Battles, Splosions, Megan Fox-what's not to like
by chromedome
Bay is perfect for this type of filmwhat is there to complain about--it is not trying to be (or supposed to be) anything more than it is.
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havent read the reviews cuz i dont wanna see spoilers....but i did read the first reviewers review up to part where he said that him and his friends were in "animation" class....o sure u were .....and that he asked who the best action hero ever was and they all said optimus....he even beat jesus...at that point i had to stop reading the BS.....and even if i had decided to continue reading his "review" how could i even take it serious after a comment like that....of course every reviewer has to throw out that hes an animator, prob to say later how he could have done better CG than ILM....of course.....and of course it has to be said that optimus is the best action hero....but beating jesus ???? i didnt know jesus was an "action hero" ...ill be back after i see this in IMAX on the 28th....good luck all...ill be spoiler free and im quite happy with that....
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Jun 20, 2009 8:57:58 PM CDT
Blurry Shaky Ugly Robt Battles Cheesy Splosions Fox's Toe Thumb
by trannyformers_apologist
Blurry Shaky Ugly Robt Battles Cheesy Splosions Fox's Toe Thumbs
Whats to like? -
Fuck you Bay
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Nah, congrats on the marriage & the million kids.
Glad to see those years of "Taking it up" during your Masters, was just youthful abandon! Maybe you saved sperm that way, hence the five kids in 7 years.
You only get a bucket & a half, as they say. -
is so far,the most apt description of the CGI in these films. And the plot...and the acting...and especially the directing! As the first film was renamed TINO,I propose we all rename this one T2-Revenge of the Scrambled Shit!!!!
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... BEING MAULED BY 5 PITBULLS.
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I will stay away. It feels wrong to be so clueless as to why people love this Transformers shit so much when I'm a ST:OS fan, but I really don't get it. I don't think fans are stupid or hicks or ass-faces for liking it, I just can't get into it at all, and I love mayhem and buildings being smashed, I'm an old-school Godzilla fan so you know I like destruction but it just all seems so vacant and banal. Shia seems like an earnest guy on talk shows, I kinda wanna root for him on some level but he just has almost no screen presence at all. They should just have two hours of Megan Fox rolling around naked on a bed humping on some of the classic toys and you got yourself a film right there.
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One of you apologist douchebags must be "Damage Control" Don. Or Orci.
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And even Harry Potter 6 is gonna suck. ('cause I heard they changed the ending from the book DRASTICALLY!)
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Jun 20, 2009 9:31:59 PM CDT
Sometimes you want a full meal, sometimes a junk food snack
by chromedome
manage your expectations--Transformers is a nice junk food snack--no more, no less
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-is the best movie of the summer. You know it's true.
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An inept filmmaker given a franchise with a 25 year history who tosses out the best parts of said history. Of course it's shit. There will never be another smart summer blockbuster in the vein of Star Wars and Jaws as one reviewer noted becuase the studios are way different than they were in the 70's. Today they're all pussies who only care to cater to the dumbest of demographic...the teenagers. Fuck those stupid kids and fuck the studios!
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Already looking forward to it.
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Like Axeemall, They Don't Read that much, either.
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That is all.
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an bad, if tasty Home Run Chocolate Pie.Transformers is the PomPoms of junk food...those Puffy,Pink, 10yr old coconut encrusted piles of preservatives and cancer that only the lowliest, fattest, most base section 8 housing for life, EBT card waving degenerates of society buy.Fuck...the 5 yr old Beef Jerky the Sikh guy behind the counter begs you to take for free just so he can clear counter space is a better snack than any Bayformers film. I'd rather watch Indy 4 again than give Bay/orci a penny for this shit! And I never thought I'd say that.
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The 96% of us who continue to pay for Bay's movies will continue to enjoy his work. TF2 1 Billion dollars. Can you smell it?
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Meatflaps instead of Mudflap, spent the movie hid between Foxes thighs....then I might have downloaded this.
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mixed in with the scent of unwashed hillbilly vagine, Coors drenched sweat, AXE, and day old Mt. Dew spilled on the ground.This thing will make bank no doubt...people who will pay to see this don't know the value of a dollar hard earned anyway, as a good 80% of them live at home or are on the dole. I don't have a clue why someone who has the $ to own a computer, such as you, would pay to see this. Come on man...don't you deserve better?
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With less than two weeks to go before its June 24 release date, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is already seeing brisk ticket sales on Fandango. Currently, the film represents 21% of ticket sales on Fandango (as of June 11 at 9 am PT).
According to an ongoing Fandango survey of moviegoers planning to see Transformers 2:
81% of respondents say Megan Fox is the one star they’re most excited
to see in the new movie.
76% say they are fans of director Michael Bay.
72% say the IMAX presentation of Transformers 2 will be an important
part of their moviegoing experience.
71% of respondents are 18-34 years old; 68% are male.
“Fans are already scooping up tickets for Transformers 2’s opening week showtimes, especially for the IMAX screens,” says Ted Hong, Chief Marketing Officer for Fandango.
“The movie is garnering some great Internet buzz, and filmgoers are clearly ready for another action-packed summer popcorn movie. -
Jun 20, 2009 9:47:01 PM CDT
ganymede3010: the only thing anyone smells is your butthole...
by fuckmichaelbay
...go shower in Bay man-batter douche.
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Suck my cock.
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and he killed Jesus.
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.......is all a conspiracy. Orchestrated by the Government! Paul Blart Mall Cop > Transformers
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So I emailed you last week asking if you'd like my Transformers 2 review, you said yes. I got it to you within 24 hours and asked you not post it until that sunday due to an embargo. Sunday came and went with nothing. Now we get reviews from a general release film. I'm certain my review would have saved a few of these people some money. wouldn't mind if you hadn't asked for it, but you did. And then you ignored it. cheers.
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Sad...getting fucked over by your female lead, especially someone who owes her entire existence outside a brothel or strip club to your existence....but I gotta say...the slut hits the nail right on the fuckin head.Lets face it...3 years ago Megan WAS the target audience for a Bayfest. The girl was living in a fucking TRAILERPARK, stealing her moms car, and blowing anyone she could to get acting gigs...including this one reportedly.Now...2009...she is in EW telling the world " working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience."; "If I'm still making Transformers five years from now, I might not be so überexcited";"Sure. I mean, I can't shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass"Refreshing honesty from someone who was lowest common denominator a few months ago.
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No one fucking knew who she was. It was the damn paparazzi that made her a star, not her.
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Who said it made him want to just die. That's pretty how I know I would feel. My faith in humanity died after the first one was so popular.
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as it makes my typing, grammar,sentence structure, and thoughts as cloudy and damned near as incoherent as Bays films.
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What's wrong with "turning your brain off" once in awhile? I go to the movies for entertainment, because believe it or not, Transformers is a film, and film is entertainment. Bay isn't trying to make 2001: A Space Odyssey, idiots. He's making a movie about a cartoon where robots transform into things and fight each other. That's exactly what happens in this fucking movie. What the fuck are you expecting? There are going to be silly movies and there are going to be serious movies - always has been, always will be. Stop being a bunch of fat, acne-ridden, jerking-off-to-JJ-Abrams-nuTrek faggots and realize that not every film has to be fucking Casablanca.
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Fox On Transformers...
“I don’t know if this movie’s about the story. I don’t know if anyone’s going in and trying to analyse the story and if they are, then fuck them for trying!”
“We’re not trying. We’re not pretending this is a story-driven film. It is what it is. Everybody just shut the fuck up and go have fun. It’s not meant to change your life. If you don’t want to see it, then don’t fucking go and pay for it. Stay home!”
To read the full interview, check out the next issue of Total Film (156), on sale in UK shops from Wednesday 27th May.http://tinyurl.com/rcwvb7 -
because Transformers 2 needs to be defended at ALL FUCKING COSTS!!!
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Megan Fox is a cunt rag,Bay will prolapse her anus for this outrageous interview.Oh my fucking days people...
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Jun 20, 2009 10:56:38 PM CDT
if you like Bayformers, please name an action movie you didnt l
by bmacsmith
then explain how Bayformers is better
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at least she isnt under any delusions that its any good. its loud explosions for morons. no shame in taking idiots' money.
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....he almost gets tea bagged by Devastator. It doesn't seem Bay's trademark style is going over so well with the people who defended the first one.....
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I thought Spielberg told Bay that it was AWESOME and that It just might be his best work yet........lol
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Jun 20, 2009 11:16:11 PM CDT
i love how so many people get fuck cocks about bayformers
by garbageday
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Haven't seen this yet, but the first one was a heaping pile of disappointment, although I still watch it from time to time. Dudes should have been forced to read some of the contemporary TF comics before writing these scripts; there's a much better TF movie out there, somewhere. I'd kill to see a faithful adaptation. If you can spend a zillion dollars & put 42 robots on screen in a shit movie, you can spend that much & put some real drama & characterization behind these toys/characters that have been given real personality & conflict in the comic books. And please, don't fucking introduce Soundwave as a satellite with a head & stick him in 1 or 2 scenes. Motherfucking Soundwave needs to be a big, blue, synthesized-voice-having motherfucker that spits such gems as: "LASERBEAK, EJECT." & "AS YOU COMMAND, MEGATRON." Nigga doesn't have to be a 50-foot boom box, either.
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"One respondent claims that he witnessed Kate Beckinsale actually sobbing after an encounter with the director on the set of Pearl Harbor."
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"There's nonstop screaming, changing his mind, and blaming of everyone else for his mistakes," says the head of a film division, adding that these things are made worse by the fact that Bay is hardly as talented as Mann. "He's mean to everybody," says a marketing exec. "He always apologizes afterward, but it's still awful." A fellow director sums it up best: "I could be his brother-in-law and people wouldn't hesitate to overtly tell me, 'I hate that guy.'" True Story
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they might put her in the next film and have her/him/it piss on Turturro.
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All these review for Transformers 2 make it sound amazing. Apparently it's almost completely incomprehensible and even more confused than it's predecessor. Bay's going for broke in the most punishing and amazing avant-garde film in the history of cinema!
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Jun 21, 2009 12:13:51 AM CDT
Seeing it in a couple of hours - expectations lowered
by miyamoto_musashi
On the plus side going to the movies in Japan is always good, fantastic scenery
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In a recent interview with Wizard magazine, Shia LaBeouf has defended director Michael Bay's style of filmmaking, saying Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will be his best effort to date. He said: "The movie is [Bay's] best film. He's getting better as he goes. He is attempting to do different things. He sticks with the same formula, it's proven. He's not the only one to do that. The most important thing a director can do is establish a style. Michael Bay has a definite style."
"I can tell you what I gained from Michael Bay's films. It's escapism." He compared Revenge of the Fallen to John Ford's classic historical yarn Young Mr Lincoln, and said: "There's a bit of John Ford in Bay, and then there's a bit of like, f**cking Looney Tunes, you know?"
Shia went on: "I don't know of anybody that shoots action like Michael Bay. Nobody shoots women like Michael Bay. He is shameless about it. And the world wants that. Middle America wants the shameless, exploitive, escapism film. That's what they want. They want big, bad, sexy and fast."
http://tinyurl.com/lzvop3 -
Rick James told me that at a party once.
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Eight feature films, many music videos and commercials, and loads of producer's credits, and Bay's principal performer in his latest film defends him by saying "He's getting better as he goes.", and you guys are defending this hack?
Steven Spielberg's eighth film was Raiders of the Lost Ark, Raiders of the Lost fucking Ark motherfuckers, with truly great cinema like Jaws and Close Encounters already behind him, and nowhere at any time has anyone had to defend Steven Spielberg for anything...except his choice of directors for the Transformers films. -
Trannyformers Apologist still going through the insanely long checklist of why the movies suck?
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It was quite stunning in how appauling is truely. The first one was fun, but this takes everything that was wrong with the original and ramps it all up to insufferable proportions. As a friend of ours commented - "it's the worst tentpole movie ever released".
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...that could be fun without being stupid? Whatever happened to Star Wars and Raiders? To Jaws? Back To The Future....remember those movies? Remember how fun they were? How engaging the characters were? How is it that we have lost that kind of film making where a movie could appeal to everyone wthout being reduced to a series of special effects and fart jokes?" 12/18/09 Believe
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The same John Ford that made The Searchers, How Green Was My Valley, and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance? That John Ford? No, that dipshit HAS to be talking about some John Ford that does mounds of coke and is a total fucking moron.
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It's not fun (and I saw it in IMAX) its just extremely stupd. The action would be great if the camera stood still and stepped back. Its so close that the robots look like a big metal heap. When Optimus gets stabbed it actually took a while to notice where the sword was in his chest. If you still want to pay and see it than go in with lowered expectations.
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bay knows it...all the production companies connected know it...and the theater owners know it...so seriously, why botherthe entire premise is based on a daily, 30 minute commercial for fucking toys next up...gi joe, another critic proof movie
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I picked him up from in front of Home Depot.Took him back to my place and he cut my grass, trimmed the hedge, washed the car....
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They know this movie is going to be BIG. 1 Billion here we come.
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Fuck, someone used that in 2002.
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Michael how could you? My toy collection will never be the same. I want the Transformers to look like they did in 1984. Rectangular boxes with as little detail as possible.
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You know, the kid in the wheelchair in the cartoon. Didn't it suck the Transformers couldn't make that kid robot legs or something?
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They need a wheelchair Transformer named Crip...for Cripple. He can be the NEXT black Transformer to die. He will be killed by Blood, a tranforming tampon.
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Bayformers was the breaking point for me with a lot of these big action movies. I realized that most of them just aren't worth my time or attention if the studios aren't going to put their time and attention into making them good. I've still been suckered into a few bad "blockbusters" like Indy 4, but I have passed on crap like Wolverine and the new Terminator and I'm much happier for it. It's time for the geek population to truly put their foot down and just say "no" to bad movies!
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Do it immediately. It is the best time you'll ever have. Besides if you eat an 1/8 of shrooms. That is more fun. Anything grown from the earth is the best. Anyone says anything otherwise sucks ass.
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And then I'll eat a pan of pot brownies to celebrate. WORD!!!
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The fucking problem is that you have a bunch of fucking no talent ass-fucks calling the shots. You think a producer has creative vision? Hell no. He just wants to put something out to make money...which is what they do. They send the shit out, we submit and spend 10 bucks a piece for two hours of shit. Hollywood needs some fuckign talent. Even Steven Spielberg fell the fuck off...he produced Transformers. Michael Bay is a hack director at best. He succeeds with popcorn fodder because there are enough stupid rednecks and "dat shit was tizzight" fuck-heads who don't understand half the shit that's being said. One of the guys I work with, I shit you not, after Indy 4 came up and said, "You know what I bet. I'm thinking that dude from Transformers was his son." I was like, NO SHIT! They said it throughout the movie you fuckron mortard. I'm just sick of people who have no idea what they're doing, doing what they're doing all over my fucking face!
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Coke is a fantastic drug, if kept in moderation. Otherwise, most people (99%) become assholes.
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ganymede3010 is obviously scared shitless of these negative reviews. He's an obvious plant, too. Like a "regular fan" would know all the demographic marketing research like that.
I'm pretty sure this movie will make less than the first.
I also noticed that NO REVIEW has done the "better than the first one!" thing. That's never a good sign. -
This movie is going to be gayer than Liberache's cum-infused pooh. And you can't apologize for cum-infused pooh.
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Damn, some of you are idiots.
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It's the fucking douches drawing them the map that's fucking it up.
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Jun 21, 2009 2:23:54 AM CDT
It's funny how people say, "Oh the movie is for hicks"
by lockesbrokenleg
but people here are saying they couldn't understand it, cause it's so all over the place. WTF people. Be coherent for once.
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Hicks was a cool character in Aliens. A redneck is a dumb white person who is easily agitated when someone insults Jesus, Beer, Hunting, Momma, uses big word thay caint unnerstan, and say Transformers sucks. You sir, are an apologizing Uncle Tom.
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How did that fucker ever get to be a Marine? He whined about everything.
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That was Bill Paxton's character. A character so insignificant, I only remember him as the "Game Over" guy.
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Fucking 330 in the morning and I have two more hours before I get off work
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Sorry folks. Jesus is real. Optimus Prime is just a figment of our collective animation. (Don't hate on Jesus. Seriously. Bad idea.)
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That is all
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TRUE STORY
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Jun 21, 2009 3:08:47 AM CDT
Wow, I am still shocked the Jonas Brothers movie bombed
by lockesbrokenleg
Why GOOOD WHYYYYYY!!!
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Not as good as TF1 by a long way.
However, its still well worth seeing....
Megan Fox & Isabel Lucas are HOT!!!!!
ILM own around 51 mins of this movie with their eye candy VFX.
Sound FX are amazing, really deep bass which made the cinema shake & made the speakers chatter (new cinema as well with latest sound system).
Sam's parents are in it more and are pretty funny in places, especially the crazy mum!
Shia is not that annoying at all and neither are his sidekicks Simmons & Leo.
Action + explosions are this time instead of any real story or exposition. A new low in story telling. Before fans said not enough robots so this time they give you waaaaaay more robots and waaaaaaay less story.
Real world locations in the 2nd half of the movie are stunning.
If you hated previous Bay movies then you will hate this one.
If you want 2.5 hours of pure popcorn/adrenaline fueled mindless sci-fi action adventure then this is the movie for you. So much in it you will be watching this in a year for the 20th time!!
No doubt it will be the biggest movie of the year by a long way as young kids & teenagers will see this a lot at the cinema in the next 3 months. -
And I can't wait for it! What a pos this will be! Woooohoooo!
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I think what people mean is that its a mess. Not that the film is complicated and you need a certain degree of intelligence to follow it. More like that the film is like an english speaking person receiving directions from a russian speaking two year old mentally ill child. Just gibberish and impossible to follow.
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Are you one of the writers of these lazy, new hollywood films? It's the only reason i can think of that you are defending this shit. Your argument is so retarded. The source material is only a starting point. You should be able to make a good film from any premise. Cars that turn into robots, man who wears a batsuit and fights crime, archaeologist and part time teacher who goes after rare relics. It's lazyness on the writers and directors side here. However, i do agree with you on the Optimus = Jesus bollocks. No, they are both different fictional characters from different fictional stories.
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Just thought I will pop in to say I enjoyed the first one and will be seeing the second one. Just like all you haters! Have a nice day. P.S: And I will buy the DVD so they can mae a third one just to piss some people off some more.
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You just sold me, I'm watching it!
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Don't you hate it when people second post just to correct their spelling? I do!
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...make 10 more Transformer movies! Just so I can see people throwing some more shit fits. LOL, hilarious!
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....DavidCarradinesAutoEroticRobot will be first in line come Wednesday...
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....Robot! Like that great Optimus Prime line: "My bad!"
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Jun 21, 2009 4:10:21 AM CDT
I'm fucking sick of this "ITS A MOVIE ABOUT ROBOTS"
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....bullshit. Take that dumb fuck defense and stuff it up your dumb fuck ass. No one is asking for high art. People have stated over and over again, all they wanted is some kind of a story and some slightly likable characters. Thats it! Home Alone fucking succeeded in doing that...TWICE! And you dumb fucks come here whining-- come on guys, its a movie about robots that turn into cars! So that means they get a free pass to making unlikable bland shit? Fuck you. And before you counter with that pussy-made "If you don't like it, don't watch it" bit, don't worry-- I won't. But I still have the right to tear this piece of shit down every chance I can and call your simple ass out for supporting it. In closing...FUCK YOU.
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...when people say, "oh, it's just supposed to be entertainment; don't think about it too much and enjoy it!". Or, "Well, it's not SUPPOSED to be the Dark Knight! It's about giant robots, don't overthink it too much, just have a good time!"
What a complete load of hogwash. It's just a cheap rationalization to justify a piece of shit film. The movies that are truly fun and entertaining have something to them - charm, heart, humour, cleverness, layers - whatever combination of these. It doesn't mean you're expecting Shakespeare, you dolts. It means that somebody took care in constructing a film that was layered, a film where the pieces fit together. It's impossible to check your brain at the door, because if you have half a brain you won't even be entertained, in spite of the spectacle. At an emotional level, it *feels* hollow, it feels like a waste of time. Unless you're a 16 year old Middle America moron, in which case, you have graver problems to deal with.
When you watch a summer blockbuster that is actually fun and entertaining, like Iron Man or Ratatouille, you're not thinking cerebrally, you're just having a good time. But that's because the filmmakers treat their craft with respect, instead of saying, "fuck it, this is just a summer action popcorn flick." They aspire to be better than that, which is why they are...even if it's "just entertainment". -
...I basically types out the exact same point as Danny Glover's Dickblood at the same time. Cheers!
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...Dickblood. Yip, Fuck you too!
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I think I am on safe ground saying that people here are passionate about movies. They look fo deeper meanings and expound on the qualities because films are so important in their lives. I include myself in this group. If you are someone who can't understand how someone could get so worked up about a film, I think you might be visiting the wrong site. Film is the central artform of our times. It changes culture and inspires individuals. You might as well go to church and complain about all of the preaching.
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Nearly every fucking movie you come on here and fucking moan about every last aspect of it. Whats particularly annoying in the reviews above is that quite a few of them dont even know what they are talking about (one didnt even know what the matrix of leadership was!). Plus posting a review that was written by a guy who states he hates transformers and michael bay and then says that he fell asleep (because he wasnt interested to begin with so why the fuck he went to see it one can only guess!), have we really hit such an all time low here at AICN???
Anyway heres a review by me, a real transformers fan who had the ability to easily understand this storyline that everyone seemed so bemused by (I mean seriously, whats was so fucking hard to understand?!?):
IT WAS A FUCKING SPECTACULARLY FUN MOVIE FOR PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A MOVIE CREATED FROM A CARTOON AND A COMIC BOOK!!
WAS IT CHILDISH AND SILLY IN PLACES? YES IT WAS MADE FROM A CARTOON!
WAS IT THIN ON STORY AND HEAVY ON ACTION? YES IT WAS MADE FROM A CARTOON!
Honestly some of the comments on this site sicken me because I can just imagine the kind of sad no life bitter nerd that wrote it.
CONCLUSION: If you are a happy well adjusted person go see transformers you will have fun.
There see? No harm done. Pathetic no life nerds continue your flaming and dont forget to use your fav terms such as "bayformers" and how he cant make movies because hes a coke snorting prostitute lover. Get away from your computers for a bit and make something of your lives. -
It's a movie about robots turning into cars. You want to be inspired by a movie about alien robots changing into cars??? By the way, just to clear this up, it's a movie about robots changing into cars, what did you expect Shakespeare?
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Fuck you, pal. It's because of people with bottom-of-the-barrel expectations like you that filmmakers deliver pigslop. Because they know there's going to be a bunch of lobotomized chimpanzees like you who think it's normal - no, acceptable - to receive garbage quality. And then you actually defend it as if it makes sense. Stupid, stupid, stupid argument.
You're saying it's ok for sequels to have "no plot". As if it's obvious. Clearly, you're a genius. I don't care if the characters are robots or aliens or talking animals....make us care about them. Make them characters. How many times have we found ourselves caring about a robot, or a dog, or a cartoon mouse that talks? Hell, Steven Spielberg made a fortune because he was able to make audiences care about a squat alien with a head shaped like a piece of brown shit. Because he became real for audiences, they felt it. Alternatively, Spielberg could have followed your advice verbatim and thought, "Really? Am I going to argue the merits of a stupid movie about a little weird alien dude? How far am I going to go with this?" and just settled. -
Hear hear!!!
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What I saw was 1 hour 50 minutes. I believe Bay is using the rest of the world as a test audience before he trims/modifies this for the July 4th US release. it needs it. The first half of the film was perfectly made pretty much all the way up to where they start the lurch into the final act. I think they can resolve this by trimming at least a quarter of an hour.
The rest of it was pretty darn good for what it is. It certainly should not be evoking the extreme reactions it is on either side of the divide. -
Fuck you too! See it's easy being a internet tough guy.
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To the reviewer who debated with his University friends and decided that Optimus Prime was 'the greatest hero in all fiction'. I say this...
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... sob sob sob... Dude, I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To the guy who took his 7 year old son to the film, I say this...
Cool. You get it. -
Gets it!!!
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This is a film for young boys. Plain and simple.And you know what, when they grow up I doubt they'll be looking back fondly on it either.
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...necessarily. By saying that "it's not Shakespeare", you're just stupidly taking the argument to the opposite extreme. It's about the film not having any face-palm stupidity in it. It's about the humour being on point. It's about finding ourselves caring about the people's problems, and thinking of the robots as actual characters. It's about feeling the tension as the action rises, as opposed to, "What the fuck is going on?" or, "I'm bored" or "*cringe* that was stupid". Got it? These ingredients (and more) are absolutely necessary to a film that is FUN. We're not talking about the deepest art, just fun. To give you two examples, Pirates of the Caribbean (the first movie) had that, as did Iron Man, as did the two recent Batman films. If you don't understand the point, or expect so little from your movies that these seem like excessive demands, then I hate to break it to you, but the problem lies with YOU. In other words, it means you're probably a retard.
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But seeing grown men cry to the heavens will never get old. Please green light the third already!!!
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Sorry, your post is to long. Makes my head hurt. I must be retarded or something.... Listen, just a heads up. Transformers is about robots TRANSFORMING into cars. It's not Shakespeare!
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you'll never convince these tards. They wear their stupidity like a badge of honour. And for all those jackasses saying 'duh.. well why did you pay for it if you hate it' - I stated in my review (Winston84) that I DIDN'T pay for it. Read the fucking review before you comment on it.
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...do you guys feel the need to convince us 'retards' anyway???
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is that there are people out there that not only enjoyed these two movies, but don't understand why everyone else thinks they're stupid and demands more from a film.
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...the whole, "it's like that because it's meant to be for children! It's for children! It's based on a cartoon" is a hollow rationalization as well. Again, it's fine if it doesn't have great depth. Cool. But if there's one thing that Pixar proved conclusively, it's that so-called "children's entertainment" and cartoons can be smart and hilarious and moving and exhilarating. So don't give me that nonsense. The same goes for children's literature - the ones that win all the prizes and the Caldecott awards are the ones that don't treat children like morons. Highly regarded authors of kids' books like Roald Dahl are successful precisely because they don't pander to kids with cheap condescention - they take the time to carefully create something rich for them. They give them something interesting, as if they were little adults.
It's the same as the notion that children have to only eat hot dogs and fries because that's the "children's menu" and we train kids to believe they can't appreciate anything else. Bullshit, when I was a kid, I loved burgers and such, but was enjoying other kinds of foods as well....
Of course, I think Transformers 2 will be fine for YOUR children, because if daddy is a fucking idiot, junior is bound to be a retard as well....thus, low expectations are set all around. -
... me any of you actually seen the film?
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Therefore the talkbackers will love it!
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I'm not trying to convince you. I just want to resoundingly smack you down and make you my bitch before bedtime. It was easier than I thought. I'm off now, enjoy!
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Another looooooong post! Head, going, to EXPLODE!!!! Btw: I love Pixar movies.
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Ja, you win.... LOL. Cheers!
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...the animated TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE from the 80's. You've got the touch! You've got the powerrrr! (Yes, that song was used in the cartoon Transformers movie before BOOGIE NIGHTS.)
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this isn't made by a bunch of brainy computer nerds. It's made by the God Michael Bay. The kids will love it and laugh their asses off when you ask them "Was it as good as Cars?"
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And I'm sure this will be better than Cars.
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.....are you that bored with life that youd go and see a movie for free that you had ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN?
Nothing better to sdo with your time than go and see a film you kinda already know you are going to hate?
Here let me give you an example me in that same predicament:
Friend: Hey Ballbag wanna catch the latest My Little Pony movie tonight?
Me: Um...I hate them fuckers, no thanks!
Friend: Oh but its freee-heeee!
Me: Free it might be but why the fuck would anyone want to waste life going to see a movie they have no interest in when I could be spending it with my other half, or children etc???
And theres my point. I had zero interest in Wolverine, less than zero. And thats why I'll never see it, not even for free. -
anonymous apologist -- are right: the original cartoon was shitty. Well, these movies aren't shitty in the same way. At the very least, they could the live action movies stupid in the same manner as the original, and then they'd increase their audience.
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No, he's just the director. Who can demand changes.
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Jun 21, 2009 5:38:30 AM CDT
'Hated the 1st !!! But will watch 2nd so I can hate it'. Shut Up
by se7en
It was exactly like the first. Knew what to expect and hence had fun.
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better than T4 and wolverine, but suffers from exactly the same problems as the first, not enough plot, not enough character in the bots, but it was funny enough. prime's forest fight was epic though, flipping starscream upside down to kick him in the head, fantastic.
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Least you can see the fucking action in Wolverine.
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the cities don't look like soundstages, the effects are finished, prime doesn't lose his memory by getting shot in the head, optimus is made more badass unlike wolverine who was made into a pussy... don't get me wrong, TF2 is one big effects reel and nothing else, but it craps all over wolverine.
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Even people who liked TF2 are not saying its better than the first. I have seen both and TF1 pisses all over TF2 in quality.
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Just so I can poke at it later on. And I'm a bit of a fanboy
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http://tinyurl.com/npddqg
May 30, 2009, 11:36 am
Screenwriters Describe Post-Strike Scramble to Make “Transformers” Sequel
By Michael Cieply The Carpetbagger NY Times
Speaking on a panel at the BotCon convention in Pasadena on Friday, the screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman gave fans an intriguing glimpse into some behind-the-scenes panic caused by a three-month writers strike that began in November of 2007. Two weeks before the strike, Mr. Orci told listeners, he and his partner were asked to crank out a quick, 20-page outline for a sequel to “Transformers,” which had turned into a huge hit for Paramount and DreamWorks after its release in July of that year.
According to the writers, the studio, producers, and the director Michael Bay began prepping the sequel based on that outline, even while the strike wore on.
When the strike ended in February, Mr. Kurtzman and Mr. Orci were asked to get moving, post haste, on a full script for a movie that was already barreling toward the screen. But they were also lined up to work on the new “Star Trek” movie for Paramount, and a couple of other films that were all colliding because of the strike. So they hooked up with Ehren Kruger, a writer whose credits include “The Ring” and “Scream 3.”
For several months, said the writers, they were repeatedly locked in a hotel suite with Mr. Kruger, with whom they divided the work. Mr. Kurtzman and Mr. Orci wrote pages. Mr. Kruger wrote pages. They swapped. Mr. Bay dropped by once in a while to demand: “What are you guys doing?”
Next time, said Mr. Orci, they may just mix it all up and do “Megatron Vs. The Enterprise.”
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The word 'director' was added to this statement by renowned testicle fetishist Michael Bay.
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-the boxoffice AGAIN this summer-
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I quote "Don't hate on Jesus. Seriously. Bad idea."
Really? What's gonna happen? Will he call me a bad name?
Hating on Jeebus didn't seem to have much effect on The Romans. As I recall they kicked the shit out of him.
& the guy below you saying "Jesus rocks", you're damned right!
I'd be rocking too after a few days nailed to a bit of wood. -
... 'GOD'S TESTICLES'. Synopsis: Fictional character God comes to life through magic and travels to Earth and walks around naked the entire time whilst Michael Bay and all the fans of 'Transformers 2' climb up his legs and lick his testicles.
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FUCK YOU IF YOU WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING GOOD, ITS TRANSFORMERS YOU DUMB FUCK HEADS.
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he loves them.
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WITH BAY BALL HAIR.
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Are flirting. Aw, cute.
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is attempting humour. how pathetic.
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its ok underoos hero, if you're a girl.
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Talking about testicles with another man?
I think I'll take my sense of humour anyday.
You should write jokes for Micheal Bay. Or...do you already? -
http://tinyurl.com/ag3wo
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Bay has locked himself inside ILM and is refusing to come out. A witness said 'We showed Michael some test footage of how God's testicles were going to look. All of a sudden [Bay] pulls out a gun and tells everyone to get out. He's screaming 'Get the f*** out right f***ing now!' He was furiously masturbating before we'd even left the room.
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still can't make a funny.
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If, like Michael Bay, you are obsessed with big testicles you'll love Transformers 2.
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Jun 21, 2009 7:01:39 AM CDT
Having seen it, I feel I need a CAT Scan ...
by the gospel according to bastardface
... As I may have suffered irreparable brain damage. What a moronic, inept, boring, LOUD, obnoxious film. It saddens me this passes as worthy entertainment to some of you. Good God in heaven. IDIOCRACY is closer than we think. Next up: ASS: THE MOVIE.
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A really, really boring movie.
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i almost had to walk out. morbid fascination kept me in my seat. i want to go kick Bay in the shins.
and no, the effects were actually WORSE in this one.
Glenn Morshower and John T were the only things better than the first time around (though how Morshower (Aaron from 24) survived is an obvious miracle... -
Gives me a lot to look forward to, really...all except the reviewer with the obvious chip on his shoulder...and someone tell somebody that writing out the entire plot scene-by-scene does not qualify as a "review".
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Most of you might want to avoid picking up the G1 DVD. It might not be as good as you remember.
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DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY
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You know what you're going to get, and he fucks your eyeballs & ear drums while doing it.
Praise Michael Bay, and his love for snorting cocaine off hot chicks. -
because he's always too stoned on a cocaine, sex with three whores & tequila.
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I may not make a funny (lord knows using the word testicles is comedy genius far beyong my reach)..
But my links work. Unlike yours. Silly little boy. Go talk about balls with your boyfriend some more.
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You used up a shitload of this TB going back & forth with EDGARWRIGHTS_PROLAPSEDANUS, saying stuff like "You like balls hur hur"......"No, you like balls Hur hu"......"You like hairy balls Hur hur"
Having my sense of humour dissected by someone who hadn't said a single funny thing in ANY of his posts? Fine by me.
It's like being judged by Beavis.
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of internet speace. Wasted.
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"Speace" is not a word;-).
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That have nothing to do with the movie being "reviewed."
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HE IS OBSESSED WITH BIG TESTICLES. TRANSFORMERS 2 WAS MADE FOR TESTICLE FETISHISTS LIKE THE DARK SHITE.
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Don't correct spelling if you can barely spell yourself. Fucking clown.
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Now fuck off back to your ball sniffing.
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Hack job.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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You sound a tad upset.
No 'tache for you today! -
Lord knows you like your ball references. I really think you & ironic_name are Orci & Kuntzman in disguise.
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GREAT FUCKING NAME BY THE WAY. ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS PUN! HA HA HA HA HA! YOU FUCKING CLOWN! YOU FUCKING CLOWN!
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While smacked off your face on Fanta.
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WHAT ARE YOU LIKE? INCREDIBLE! PLEASE DON'T STOP! OH NO! ME AT THE CIRCUS? SMACKED OFF MY FACE ON FANTA? HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?
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The same way I came up with my name (in other words, I spent about for about oh, 1 second).
Rather than stealing someone else's idea.
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KEEP GOING GENIUS. KEEP AT IT. DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE STOP!
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I thought I recognised your caps lock ranting & child's intellect.
You're not stoned afterall, just fucking dumb. -
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN FUCKING MEAN? YOU 'SPENT ABOUT FOR ABOUT OH, 1 SECOND'? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AND YOU'RE CALLING ME DUMB? PLEASE KEEP GOING!
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Or watching "Stephen King's IT".
Sitting there, drooling & pointing like "HA HA HA HA HA! YOU FUCKING CLOWN! YOU FUCKING CLOWN!"
If brains were dynamite, you'd muster up just enough mental energy to blow your boyfriend.
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I actually am stoned. It's night-time where I am. Hence the odd spelling mistake.
I can still just about find the caps Lock key however. -
PLEASE KEEP GOING! DO AS I SAY AND DON'T QUIT!
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I mean, even Bay recognises the man is such a god, he just plays himself, with his own name. badass.
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You haven't got any goo comebacks. It's boring. Like playing scrabble with Stevie Wonder.
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Before you mention it.
Like I said, I'm stoned. It's night-time. I have an excuse, caps lock boy. -
There was some cheesy humor that makes you roll your eyes sometimes, but no toilet humor that makes you feel like an idiot for watching it. The Michael Bay movies make you feel like a child.
But where the cartoon show really succeeds is in its mythos. There's a real sense of weight given to the war between the robots and it actually feels like there is some history there. Tons of imagination that the Bay films completely miss out on because they decided to take it to Earth and focus on some cliched human characters so they could reach a more mainstream audience. It's a shame. -
rubbing her nips into shia's crack while Bumblebee hoses them down with robot urine. My review of T2.Also megaatron fellates Fallen
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Apparently they wanted to make it about the robots, but when Speilberg got involved, he said it should be about "a boy & his car".
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No. You're a pleb. A no mark. Scotsman75, hiding under an even worse, generic, stolen name.
Two final words for you. I'll be very polite. Let's just say, the second word sounds like "cough".
The first word is "Fuck". -
An interesting cinematic choice that left me reeling in shock, the film is entertaining its just not coherent or really needed, it neither furthers the story, gives deeper characterisation or even justifies its own existence beyond being the most expensive toy advert in history.It is a very funny film but as others have mentioned hearing crack head robots swear is only funny the first few hundred times one hears it, by the films end and like 8 million swear jokes I was rolling my eyes, and trying to think how I could explain to my nephew why he can't see the film, his Dad hates language, so cheers M bay you made a kids film some kids cannot go see, your up there with Lucas and Revenge of the Sith when it comes to missing the point.The point being of course pick a genre, its a kids film or its an adults film, this careens between both styles and a lot gets lost as a result, oh and not using Soundwave after promising too is unforgivable.I have no problem with the human cast, specifically Fox and LaBouf, I find them both easy on the eye and pretty good at reacting, Sam's mum is funny and well used and the military does what it does, though the way the presidents advisor was treated was dumb and the 9/11 reference was both unsubtle and grossly unfair, I would give it 7 outta 10 and see it again, just at home and hi.
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You know how when Kill Bill came out, it instantly made "bullet time" irrelevant? I know it was already a little tired, but Kill Bill ended bullet time for sure.
I'm waiting for a better giant robot movie to end Transformers the same way. I'd have to say of the Gundams, I prefer Gundam X, but Gundam Wing would probably be more popular. -
LOL in ten thousand years some dipshit will say the same thing about Luke Skywalker.
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Bay complains to Paramount about lack of 'event movie' promo. http://tinyurl.com/npjwqt
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Michael Bay sent a scathing email to Paramount Studios before the release of "Transformers 2," complaining in effect that his famous director friends would be shocked at the way Paramount was promoting the flick.
We've obtained an email dated May 4, 2009 -- from Bay to Paramount head Brad Grey, along with a bunch of other Paramount honchos. Bay complains bitterly that Paramount's ad campaign for "Transformers 2" was tepid and ineffective.
"...I have been waiting, and waiting for the anticipation of an 'event movie' to make it into the 'public zeitgeist,'" Bay writes.
Bay calls the print campaign an "abject failure," with a "pathetic presence" in the L.A. Times. He's especially pissed about the profile of the movie on the MTV Video Awards, calling it "so lame."
But here's the best part. Bay name-drops Jerry Bruckheimer, saying Jerry always told him "a studio that does not make [the opening of a movie] an event.... will get bitten in the ass." He then adds, "Besides my good friend Steven [Spielberg], Jerry has made a lot more successful movies then (sic) all of us."
Bay then asks, sarcastically, "Is this is a cash issue with your company?"
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Didn't see your post before I posted.
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than when celebrities read their own press and start to purposely BECOME super-enhanced versions of their public image. Michael Bay is no different than Spencer and Heidi. Douchebags that are more than happy to appeal to people that expect them to act a certain way. Dancing monkeys shaking jars of change at you.
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they're just random scenes built around explosions.
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should write reviews here, his wise words crack me up
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Like most people thought it was a mixed bag, the first one is better, this one suffered from excess, too many transformers, hence not enough focus on the few we should be caring about.
Whenever Optimus is on screen it's always better, the fight in the forest was impressive.
Soundwave was suprisingly cool, the twins were bad, not quite Jar Jar bad.
6/10 for me, 5/10 for the wife -
Jun 21, 2009 10:20:05 AM CDT
Farting Cussing Humping Tea Bagging Singing Rollerblading Robots
by trannyformers_apologist
Fans praise Bay for making a Transformers movie that is more realistic( not so silly like the dumb cartoon) and appealing to a vast demographic....not just 30 year old virgins.
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Am sure the ladies prefer 8-10 inches, but 12+ is going to hurt unless they are dirty whores.
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Michael Bay literally loves licking testicles.
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No matter what you all do. Transformers will still make 1 Billion. Which means the audience will love it. Which means, it's a good fucking movie.
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"Tummysticks with Michael Bay!
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I've actually been surprised myself that the tv ads have been sort of... lacking. I agree that they're not selling this as the event picture of the summer. Instead, it seems like they're just saying "Hey look, more Transformers, yay!" They should be doing better, Bay is right.
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Those shows were made on the cheap. By contrast, the movies are multi-million dollar investments. Why is is wrong to expect better from the movies?What you people are inadvertently claiming is that Bay is incapable of rising above such source material, thus shouldn't even attempt to try. And clearly, he hasn't.
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Ah, the delights of sarcasm.
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But they will still say that shit to defend this and dumb down expectations. It's like weird backwards propaganda. If it's based on a property that deserves smears and disrespect, And the movies are not even close to any of the aspects that I feel gave it clout to begin with, then why would I want to see this?
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Am I cynical towards the franchise? Yes. But you can make a great film about anything. You just need a competent director whose not going to demand shit.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:14:10 PM CDT
Coming soon from Michael Bay: a torture porn film based on the C
by trannyformers_apologist
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Autobots and the Decepticons are said to be alien beings who have thoughts and feelings just as we do. That being the case, what are we supposed to make of a scene in which Optimus Prime summarily executes an incapacitated Decepticon? And what about the delightful skit in which the heroine prises information from a Decepticon by ramming a soldering iron into its eye?" From The Independent ROFT review http://tinyurl.com/lqv97s
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Jun 21, 2009 12:28:06 PM CDT
I'm going to dedicate my life to bashing a Cartoon Movie.
by another_typical_talkbacker
That's how much time I have on my hands. Fuck pussy, fuck homework, and fuck world of warcraft. From this point forward I'm dedicating my life to convincing everyone that they should think like me, and hate Michael Bay. I will continue to invest, days, months, years to bashing a over glamorized toy commercial You know? Because my priorities are in check that's why.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:30:04 PM CDT
Why doesn't everyone think like me, hey look at me.
by another_typical_talkbacker
I need attention. The best way I can do it is by bashing the biggest movie of the summer. So please give me attention. As you can tell. I don't have anything else to do with my time. Besides obsessing over a tinsel town tow commercial.
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"Have the Transformers outstayed their welcome? Like negative equity. Like Big Brother . Like leprosy. "http://tinyurl.com/ngtwyl
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Jun 21, 2009 12:32:58 PM CDT
A movie based on Toys should rival Ben Hur!
by another_typical_talkbacker
Charleston Heston must be rolling over in his grave. How can Michael Bay desecrate his memory by not paying homage to one of the greatest movies ever? Transformers should of been as serious as Ben Hur. The chariot scene chasing down protoforms in Cyberton would definitely
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They fucking wrote this film, it's their fault if you don't like it.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:34:43 PM CDT
Please everyone look at me, I hate Transfomers.
by another_typical_talkbacker
So, can I hang out with the popular trolls now? Please, I'll suck your dick!!!
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Jun 21, 2009 12:35:22 PM CDT
a torture porn film based on the Care Bears.
by trannyformers_apologist
Coming soon from Michael Bay: a torture porn film based on the Care Bears.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:36:59 PM CDT
Why did 87% of those who bought IMAX online say they like MB?
by another_typical_talkbacker
How could you like Michael Bay if I don't? Fuck all of you. You're so stupid to like the Transformers. Why waste your time watching a movie for 2 hours. When you can spend countless hours obsessing over it like me.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:38:35 PM CDT
I predict I'll spend all of my free time bashing this movie.
by another_typical_talkbacker
Bashing Transformers is my life. Aren't you all jealous of my pristine existence? Wouldn't you be honored if you put on earth to denigrate the Transformers? Now that's living a full and productive life.
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Made by the uber-n00b himself, Michael Dennis Bay.
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That's the only explanation I can find for this shitstorm to be so heavily defended.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:41:05 PM CDT
I say we should boycott Tranformers 2? No one see it!
by another_typical_talkbacker
I'll only see it just so I can salvage the last modicum of credibility I have.
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How strange it is that a planet of robots would transform from human vehicle creations to humanoid beings? I mean, what would their society look like, a bunch of human vehicles driving around? Is there a planet of interstellar beings that are shaped like human houses as well?
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Jun 21, 2009 12:42:29 PM CDT
I'll pay everyone if you don't see this movie.
by another_typical_talkbacker
That way I won't have to spend the next 2 weeks convincing everyone not to see the movie. But If I didn't, what would I do with myself?
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Let's watch...
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Jun 21, 2009 12:44:28 PM CDT
If you stay on home June 24th, I'll all suck your dick.
by another_typical_talkbacker
Trust me, If you stay home then the cum in my mouth will be worth it.
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You're just jealous that you can't spend your life, snorting cocaine off cheap hookers.
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I'm stil seriously amazed that anyone's actually thinking of paying to see this after the first crapfest.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:46:52 PM CDT
Fuck you apologists, your standards should be higher
by another_typical_talkbacker
You want to emulate someone with high standards? Then take a look at me and my anti-Bay posse. We're in effect yo!
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... OF BEN AFFLECK'S TESTICLES ALL OVER HIS BEDROOM WALLS.
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Transformers as a concept is a damned fine one and deserving of MUCH more respect that that fucktard Bay has given it. The automobile has captured America's imagination for almost a hundred fucking years and Transformers was just another great high concept manifestation of it, melded with the very 1980s (and FUCKING COOL) fascination with Mechs armed with big ass guns. Just like with the imminent GIJoe FUCKING DISASTER, a big "fuck you!" to anyone who says we should expect nothing because the story has anything to do with toys. My favorite fiction as a child was Hama's GIJoe books, a layered narrative that was much deeper than people give it credit for.
On a side note I hated the fucking movie but Optimus Prime was realized very well in the first movie. He reminds me of our great American heroes from the Revolution; pragmatic, virtuous honest and true. Yet to see the second movie. -
Catch you on the flipside, dudemeisters. Not! And remember, kids, always recycle... TO THE EXTREME!! Busted!
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Jun 21, 2009 12:49:09 PM CDT
OMG, Michael Bay is the master of mind control!
by another_typical_talkbacker
How could his shitfest movies make everyone time and time again pay to see his movies? If they didn't, I would be forced to get a life. And that's not what I want to do. I want to hate Transformers. HATE!!!!!!!!!!!
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The critic reviews and fan reaction to Shitformers 2 is almost as funny as the AICN Shitformers 1 Talk Backs.
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Transformers 2 just fucked my eyeballs
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Jun 21, 2009 12:49:59 PM CDT
Michael Bay films, are like Cinemax Porn!
by another_typical_talkbacker
It's all flashy without in substance. HATE HATE HATE!
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Just incase you were wondering.
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for 10 seconds, than watch Tranformers for 2 and a half hours.
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for 10 seconds, than watch Transformers for 2 and a half hours.
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How great would it be to get paid millions of dollars year in and year out, fucking young desperate for a break "actresses", making them partake in your most sick depraved fantasies for a CHANCE at a part, flying around the world on the studios dime and basically being a pimp.Best of all as the studios don't expect you to deliver any REAL films, and just want your to film tits, ass and explosions so they can peddle it to buffoons who pay for it...you don't do anything much at all...it isn't even like real directing work. Yep..I'd Love to be Bay!
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Jun 21, 2009 12:54:52 PM CDT
If you see TF2, I'll fucking kill U I swear to GOD!
by another_typical_talkbacker
Enough with the playground shit. This is serious business. If you don't listen to me I'm going to force you to read the 1 million post I've made over the last 2 years bashing this movie.
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Remember that some people just glance at the headings and don't bother to read the actual message. You're doing really, really well, okay? But just take your time and think about what you're doing a little more.
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Jun 21, 2009 12:56:42 PM CDT
Michael Bay molested me back in film school
by another_typical_talkbacker
Someone call Chris Hansen! Please! And, don't go see TF2, you'll help rid the world of serial rapists.
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No risk of knocking up bitches cause you can't maintain an erection with a living, breathing, human. Rushes of explosions are all that gets you off. Mounds and fucking mounds of coke. Being handed massive budgets, but the studio doesn't give a fuck what you shoot as long as it puts teen ass in seats. The most extreme home entertainment system known to man. Yes please.
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Gonna take all my friends too, just to piss you all off. It was 3 hours of robots kicking the shit out of robots - what the fuck is there to hate??
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You're really progressing! Well done you!
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Jun 21, 2009 12:59:56 PM CDT
I will anally rape anyone who steps in the theater!
by another_typical_talkbacker
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You and your ilk are going to destroy quality cinema.
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Jun 21, 2009 1:01:16 PM CDT
It's because of TF2 that we have genocide in Darfur!
by another_typical_talkbacker
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How stupid it would make me feel. I'd personally hate that.
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Jun 21, 2009 1:02:47 PM CDT
IF you see TF2, you'll make me look like an idiot.
by another_typical_talkbacker
Please don't see it, if you do then I'll be forced cry profusely.
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Please please please... stop!
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If you were the masses in a gladiator ring, and TF2 was Russel Crowe he would be shouting 'ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED' 'ARE YOU NOT FUCKING ENTERTAINED'
Seriously?? Quality cinema??? I paid my money for Looking for Eric, will be paying for Public Enemies but sometimes robots beating the shit out of robots is just fucking awesome. -
Jun 21, 2009 1:05:05 PM CDT
TF2 is responsible for decimating the Economy!
by another_typical_talkbacker
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Fighter of the Smart man
Champion of the Dumb
You’re a master of cocaine and explosions…for everyone
Bay man, Bay man
Uhh ahhahh -
Make you hate yourself?
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No. Because I wouldn't go and see a fucking Gladiator contest. It's barbaric. As for robots beating robots, fuck no. There are cartoons for that, cartoons where you can SEE the fucking fighting.
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http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__JQgqNNRJDU/SFSEyiGqj3I/AAAAAAAAAL0/EC_LOy-iHqY/s320/892cap012.jpg
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Jun 21, 2009 1:07:01 PM CDT
I won't stop until everyone tears up their TF2 tickets.
by another_typical_talkbacker
This is my lifes work. This is serious business.
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I don't hate myself at the thought, or sight of it. I'd hate myself for paying to watch it.
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They will have still paid for it, you mug!
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I'll concede that the shakycam is on high here, but it is far more steady then the first one. The fight in the forest is pretty good and you do get to see some of the fighting. However, still fucking enjoyed it.
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If you enjoyed it, great. Just don't artificially boost the revenue to spite us. Sneak in like a professional!
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Sometimes naked black and white women get boring. Do you approve on seeing The Hangover??
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Not paying to see that either. My policy is that the only way I can make a stand against these films is not to pay to see them. I will watch them if they're on TV, or if a mate watches them on DVD, but I - MYSELF - will not give the studio any money.
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Sounds like you are a movie fan who doesn't go see movies?? Star Trek?? Looking for Eric?? Public Enemies?? There is a massive spectrum of movies out there, not everything has to be a stuffy narrative piece that delivers a deep message. Soemtimes I just want to be entertained, and a combination of Megan Fox's hot ass (plus a rather tasty other female) and robots blasting robots did it for me.
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Jun 21, 2009 1:18:43 PM CDT
I don't are if they paid, If they see it, my life is ruined
by another_typical_talkbacker
That's why it's imperative that I assist in obstructing the proliferation of this toxic reel of celluloid.
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Screw Avatar - Transformers 2 just fucked my eyeballs. (That one is for you Steven)
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I see plenty of films. Saw Star Trek, Wolverine, Angels & Demons. I'm no snob, I just don't want to pay £4.50 to watch robots fighting other robots while shitty human characters pad out the scene.
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I saw it in IMAX. And I am seeing it with two others next week as well. Feel free to end your now ruined life. I can do a Harry and post my ticket up too if that helps??
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The hyperbole sickens me.
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Let's bring this bitch down a notch! http://tinyurl.com/mt7qjb
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How do you know a movie is going to be bad and unenjoyable for you if you don't see them? Serious question, do you let others decide for you if you can go out to play or have a burger, do you check it's ok to play with that boy from the other street? Just because some people (a minority BTW) say something is bad does not make it so.
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Fuck me, where do you see movies? Or are you student? There are a lot less human scenes in this, and the robot scenes more then make up for it. Don't you want to see Megan Fox get humped??
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Jun 21, 2009 1:24:45 PM CDT
do you check it's ok to play with that boy from the other street
by mr. zeddemore
No. We dive in head-first. On a serious note, the film looked ass from the first trailer. If I thought it looked good, fuck the reviews. I'd go see it.
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Wales. And no, not really. I can find good porn for free. Why would I pay to watch an okay-looking chick get humped by a robot?
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Megan Fox's ass cannot redeem the sheer amount of stupid shit that oozes from these movies. It's just explosions and shit flying at the camera while Shia screams " NO NO NO NO NO NO" in his whiney, eunuch, tone. Even if you like enjoy it, admit what it is. It's almost insulting to the audience.
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It's almost 3 hours of Robots kicking the shit out of each other, punctuated with brief shots of Megan Fox. That's what I enjoyed about it.
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Jun 21, 2009 1:40:38 PM CDT
EWS, please don't post your ticket! It's my Kryptonite
by another_typical_talkbacker
I don't want my afterlife ruined along with this one.
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can have nubs at the end of her wrists and I'm still fucking. Who cares about her thumbs.
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Jun 21, 2009 1:44:07 PM CDT
Isn't this the same thing people said about the first one?
by scottman22
I loved the first movie, I thought that it was a big action film with just enough story to get you through. I love and always will love the G1 series above all else but I think Bay does a good enough job with making the movies fun to watch.
There were a crap load of people who hate the first movie and I expected the same for this one. Just go in expecting to have fun and that's what you'll have. -
for the summer the theater is darkand coldand there are gobs of young boys running abouti love trying to grab one by the arm but having him slip away because my fingers are too buttery!delicious...
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Jun 21, 2009 1:52:38 PM CDT
Some dipshit will say Luke Skywalker was real in 10,000 years...
by ejkousc
Hilarious Harry Weinstein. I'm using that at parties, in conversation everywhere I go. That was hilarious.
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Ha ha ha. That's the funniest post in a talkback full of funny, funny posts.
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despite any guilt I may have felt for my poor mama's death, I clung all the more desperately to my despised drum, for it did not die as a mother dies, you could buy a new one, or you could have it repaired by old man Heilandt or Laubschad the watchmaker; it understood me, it always gave the right answer, it stuck to me as I stuck to it...
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Movies based on kiddy stuff can't be intelligent, no sir, it's fucking impossible!!! Or is it?
Iron Giant
Wall-E
WTF, that's two kids movies with robots that are both intelligent and entertaining. But these are anomalies, there can't possibly be any other examples like say...
Batman
Spiderman
Hulk
Iron Man
X1 & X2
Indy 1-3
Star Wars 4-6
And finally a non-movie example. Glen Larson created one of the silliest television shows ever in 1978, and it was aimed square at the foreheads of children. Then along comes Ron Moore a fews years ago and creates one of the greatest dramas on television ever, sourced from silly kiddy fare. Battlestar Galactica you mindless fucks, my anti-Bay. -
maitlanr, prepare to get banned creep.
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Of course children's films can be intelligent. That doesn't mean Transformers fits into that category.
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You're right - so it fits into the "crap" category.
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I've never read the word "haters" so many times before. I didn't know I was such an awful person for not liking a movie. I wouldn't call it hate though. But I sure as hell enjoy making fun if it is. I thought this was a place for criticism. I really don't care if you like this movie but boy don't get so defensive. Really, people are making alternate accounts just to ridicule critics? Seriously? Aren't you going just a tad bit ape shit for Michael bay's car commercial? You see I can do the same stupid argument and it's still weak. Almost as weak as if I said Spider-man sucked because Peter was drinking a Dr. Pepper for a minute and a half in it.
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I wish we could take a poll to see how many of us "haterz" liked The Dark Knight. Possibly the most popular movie of all time. I'd bet it'd be at least 80%.
We hate Transformers because it is horrendous shit. -
sereously grow up . Transformers 2 will be best movie ever easily and i will see it so many times becuase I love all the autobots and the action and you guys are gay or are viregins who live with there parents still and micheal bay is best directing in the world and you cant stop him from being the greetest filmaker who the world has even seen so just get lost you fags and stop saying these thing s about transformers 2 revenhe of the fallen because you dont know what your talknig about .micheal bay rules! HE RULES!
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I think those who 'love' TDK would be 60%. Some kind of level from good to incredible would be 100%
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Jun 21, 2009 2:32:22 PM CDT
"The Dark Knight: possibly the most popular movie of all time"
by kolchak
And certainly one of the most overrated. The point is that Transformers, as cinema, is worthless. When critics have to include "check your brain at the door" in a review, it's an awful sign.
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I'm sure you're right, but I was giving a nice conservative estimate - otherwise some asshole would have nitpicked me.
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THe special affects are the best ive ever seen in a movie befor and aslo the story of the film is really clever becuase it carrys on from transfromers 1 wiht the same peeople in it like Sam witnwicky .This all makes it great and you are a faggot if you dont like it because its action movie and if you dont like actuion movies then your gay and a bookworm .Eat shit fags .
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out there in society...running around and ostensibly doing stuff like BREEDING and handling our food.
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How many times in this thread alone have people invoked the Shakespeare argument to try and defend this steaming pile of shit?
Well I call bullshit, anything and everything could be approached with the same passion and audience respect that movies like The Iron Giant or The Dark Knight were, but instead the Bay apologists dismiss this as even being important. How can a lack of quality ever be acceptable?
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of awful movies that I love, such as Commando, but I would never defend such as being great cinema, and yet that is exactly what I see throughout this TB in regards to Bay and the TF movies.
If you like this shit, fine, but stop pretending it's great, or even good for that matter. Love it for the shit that it is and stop trying to convince the rest of us that it's anything other than just that, SHIT! -
Ive been lookign forword to this new transgormers movie since its first movie came out .If you dont like it then go and see something else then about gays and professars or whatver because this movie is not for fags like you so go and read a boook then or something .Your a fag if if you dont like Transformers movies .
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Thank you petergrifin for proving everything I just said. Here's your posterboy Bay lovers, this is exactly how all of us "haters" picture all of you.
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petergrifin is being facetious. Absolute genius.
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Nutsack is right. If you regard it as comfort food...a guilty pleasure...what have you, then that's completely understandable.
What I don't get are the mental midgets that run around using the word "amazing" when describing this movie. -
I completely agree. But let's not forget that nearly EVERYTHING gets praised as great cinema these days. Every Pixar movie ever made gets propelled to top ten lists like it's some sort of fucking Citizen kane. "Up" is going to win some award this year, and "Coraline" is going to be robbed. There is no justice because people have no taste.
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This movie is better than sTar wars as in all of Star wars movies togehtera nd better than all of Indiana jones movies together !Its best movie i ever saw and is bettre than any movie and any of your favorite moveis .Its got so many actoin and special affects of robots fighting and esplosions ect.your gay if you cant see taht thi sis greatest movie ever made and you proberly like justins timeberlake or orlando bloome so why dont just see them on the internet while you whack of and shutup about transormers you stupid fags .Realy just get lost because your makeing a idiot of yourselfs and showing everone that how gay you are .
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2007
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Oh fuck off. There's 'I liked a film', and then there's being an idiot. You crossed the stream, pal!
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Jun 21, 2009 3:05:05 PM CDT
Don't you have to check your brain at the door for every
by lockesbrokenleg
moie you see? Here's a hint people. MOVIES ARE NOT REAL! In real life a clown couldn't control the cities politicians, mob, AND a guy named Batman.
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Ronald McDonald could.
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Why the hate for coke? It's good shit and a great way to break through a bad case of writers block. Plus it is the best shit to take off of titties. However the hate for Bayformers is WELL deserved.
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Good Points: Optimus Prime has guns, blades and merges into ultimate optimus prime and kicks major ass. Bumblee goes Ong Bak, Megatron is back, lots of locations, Megan Fox, we see Cybertron. Bad Points: How the fuck can decepticons transform into humans? Megan Fox still show us her tits, Spielberg's? illegetimate offspring is still annoying, Military personnel from part 1 have a bigger role but i don't know why. Twin bike autobts who are really annoying (Jar Jar Binks).
Overall: Really long moviee but the money shots are all there and it was mostly fun. Hasbro have enough models of Optimus Prime to keep them in the green for xmas. -
We don't see Cybertron......
Did the giant fucking shot of Saturn not tell you it was one of the moons??? -
Jun 21, 2009 3:35:21 PM CDT
We hate the Transformers, come on all don't let up now.
by another_typical_talkbacker
Lets really tell these people how we feel. This movie has ruined to many lives for it to proceed unimpeded.
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WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ? HOW DARE YOU SPEEK TO ME LIKE HOW YOU SAY THAT! I can say whatver i like so just shut up and i like tranformers2 and infact i love it is best movie i ever saw so shut up and get lost then !
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"Suspension of disbelief" and "checking your brain at the door" are completely different things.
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I can't begin to tell you how much i hate it. I know I've told you thousand times already. But I'm another typical talkbacker who obsesses over movies I don't like.
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How about you stop coming up with homophobic and generally idiotic comments? People like you are why Kevin Smith et al consider us to be barely literate basement dwellers incapable of rational thought.
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'your makeing a idiot of yourselfs and showing everone that how gay you are' the spelling is offensive, but throwing out 'gay' as an insult makes me think you're 12, an idiot, and likely to wind up working at McDonalds.
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We're huge fans of Michael Bay's muscular, powerful approach to film-making. He's an alpha-male film director and he doesn't care who knows it. Me likey!
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oops
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Jun 21, 2009 3:51:14 PM CDT
I second that, if you see TF2 you'll end up at Mcdonalds!
by another_typical_talkbacker
Only people who'll see TF2 make minimum wage.
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...with how ROFT does not live up to the hype and expectations? awwww
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And in Bay's face.............
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Transformers 2 is 10 thousands time bettter than anything that mr zeddemorre ever has ever done .He is jelous of how talented michel bay is basicly thats all so he should shut his face then .
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But I don't work there. You not killed yourself yet? Isn't that what people who fail at life do?
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It's a good summer popcorn movie, but it aint gonna win any awards for characterisation and plot.
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Jun 21, 2009 3:56:20 PM CDT
I'm going to make thousand more post until you all understand
by another_typical_talkbacker
That we hate the Transformers. Until you apologists capitulate I'll be here for next 10 years obsessing over something I hate. Fuck being a productive citizen. Hating Transformers2 is my main priority.
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10,000 times better than anything I've done? Really? So you've been to MZP and read my scripts? You've seen my short-films? Been privy to my writing? No? Then fuck off!
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Jun 21, 2009 3:57:30 PM CDT
Who the fuck cares when AVATAR is fucking our eyeballs in 2009?
by motoko kusanagi
Seriously?Michael fucking Bay?
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Should be ashamed of himself. His message board promotes Wiki vandalism. I'd say more, but he would very likely publish my address online and harrass me.
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You tell 'em!
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you relly will love this movie unless your fag .
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Hope this delivers just as much muscular action as the first. What can I say? I get off on explosions. Sue me.
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You're an absolute cunt!
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Jun 21, 2009 4:01:38 PM CDT
I havent read your scripts and whats mzp you made it up proberly
by petergrifin
I dont care about your screipts anyway becase their proberly all about fags learning how to dance and shit like that proberly .
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I'd like someone manly to rant at this festering twat petergrifin. Sadly, I'm a straight guy (not a good one, granted) and can't really retort that kind of homophobia.
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You can't spell 'probably?' The fuck is wrong with you?
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Now that there is nothing left to apologies for or defend. It must be hard to cope with your rage...do you feel let down and ashamed. HAVE NO FEAR you can still lash out against the "HATERS" be sure to maximize your mocking sarcasm to the fullest and over analyze "haters" psychological behavior for your benefit!
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Jun 21, 2009 4:05:29 PM CDT
Here's the proper way to write TF2 dialogue.
by another_typical_talkbacker
Megatron:
O Starscream, Starscream, wherefore art thou Starscream?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my brother
And I'll no longer be a protoform".
Now that's how you write a script about Transforming toys from a fictitious star system. Anything less then Shakespeare equals epic failure. -
YEAH!!!!!!!!!
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Jun 21, 2009 4:07:04 PM CDT
Bay has let us down, that's why it's sold out everywehre
by another_typical_talkbacker
I love it when the fans protest something they don't like.
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This is what you guys missed from Terminator Salvation! I hope McG is taking notes.
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1. The Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow"
2. Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling"
3. Keri Hilson "Knock You Down"
4. Pitbull "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)"
5. Lady Gaga "LoveGame"
6. Jeremih "Birthday Sex"
7. Lady Gaga "Poker Face"
8. Sean Kingston "Fire Burning"
9. Shinedown "Second Chance"
10. Beyoncé "Halo"
11. Katy Perry "Waking Up in Vegas"
12. Miley Cyrus "The Climb"
13. 3oh3 "Don't Trust Me"
14. Jamie Foxx "Blame It"
15. Kid Cudi "Day N' Nite"
16. Kristinia DeBarge "Goodbye"
17. Kenny Chesney "Out Last Night"
18. Taylor Swift "You Belong With Me"
19. Flo Rida "Right Round"
20. Pink "Please Don't Leave Me"
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I'm not coming out of my room until there's another director attached.
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America LOVES shit. They slurp it up.
I can't wait until TF2 is #1 at the box office, because that in itself means NOTHING. -
Jun 21, 2009 4:14:54 PM CDT
I've just figured out what genre Michael Bay should be making
by kevin_costners_recycled_piss
Porn movies! Seriously, all the people who say "At least Michael Bay knows how to shoot action" are wrong, he can't shoot action for shit. Hot women on the other hand... 'A Michael Bay Porno' tell me you wouldn't want to see that.
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Jun 21, 2009 4:17:01 PM CDT
Thrillhouse77, I hate free market capitalism too!
by another_typical_talkbacker
The new world order should be predicated around people like us with superior judgment. That way, nothing can be enjoyed on a mass scale without or exalted blessings.
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Once the 'action' starts up you wouldn't know what the hell you're looking at... it would probably just be a massive closeup of flesh and limbs moving about.
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Jun 21, 2009 4:21:25 PM CDT
Tellem Thrillouse, #1 means nada, only our opinions do
by another_typical_talkbacker
Our subjectivity is the only viable barometer to truly measure a films quality. So please remind them at least 100 more times today of this un-impeachable fact.
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haha ha you sayd "sadly i'm a straight guy" . Ha hahaha. your sad that your straight .just what I thought .Transofrmers 2 is best movie ever and poeple who dont like it are loseers .my freinds all like it too and i have over 90 frends and we will all seee this movie a load of times to make sure its most sucessfull movei ever made and then the movie people wont make movies for you anymore and it weill allways be movies for me like transformers 1 and transformers 2 and directed by people as cool and good at directing like micheal bay so up yours in other words and cinema dosnt care about losers like you it only care about me and my freinds and it give us what we want so get lost and dont come back here anymore then .
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My only friend who is gay unfortunatly hated the movie.
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Shut up weirdo .mIchael bay is best directing for transformers1 and transormers 2 so it shows what you know about filmdirecting dosnt it then .why dont you go off and watch movies about danccing and poeple learnign things in coleege and leave transfomrers 2 alone then .transofromers is action film and micheal bay is best for directing action movies on the world .MICHAELB AY RULES !
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The niceties, Fred. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag. Everything your society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized.
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He has some great fucking contacts. The amount of military hardware he had was impressive. He really should have been given GI Joe just for the military stuff alone.
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Jun 21, 2009 4:37:24 PM CDT
Michael Bay can't direct cause I said so Peter.
by another_typical_talkbacker
If that's not proof enough then I don't know what is. The only thing MB is good at is tricking people into paying for his movies. Especially ones like us who hate him, but pay to see his movies the first week it comes out. That's how we practice what we preach.
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im talking at edgarights-proalpsedanus .are you talkingabout transoformers 2 ?if you are thne get lost .its not movie idiots its relly good with action so you dont know what your talking about then do you then .its a wicked film for anyone excpet fags proberly and its for kids and adulyts .im 19 and its my favorte movie ever .so its not movie for idoits .do you undestand ?
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Perhaps you are unaware of this but your collection of Transformer toys are made of plastic and aren't real, so you don't actually have "90" friends scooter. I'm guessing the real number is closer to zero, right sport?Now I know you're trolling here kid, but I have to say you don't have the chops for it son. I would suggest you stay in the shallow end of the pool so your helmet doesn't get soaked. Remember tiger, that soft spot on your skull is prone to infection. Now I dont know if the reason you can't spell is intentional or if your a public school student or English is your second, or by the looks of it, third after gibberish and pig latin. Your statement are not well thought out nor do they carry the sting of a good troll. Sorry champ, you fail, but your used to hearing that.
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you should shut up whne you dont undestand what your saying about !Nichael Bay is best directing in the world buy a millon miles even muich better than stevne speleburg and georg elucas or any one so shut the fuck uyp and fuck of becaus you dont know whart your talkign about .!
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i will say what i like so fuc k you !
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Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. Now, bear in mind, none of us has been in New York before. There are the Broadway shows - we'll have to find out how to get tickets. There's also a lot of street crime, but I believe we can watch that for free. We want the essentials. Dinettes. Complete bedroom groups. Convenient credit, even though we've been turned down in the past.
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thats the truth ass holes !
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They're the reason you see this movie franchise. Mikey Bay was BORN to make movies of, Big Robots Hitting Each Other. There's Nothing(really) to say beyond that-whirling masses of CGI Metallic BOOM! Simple. Plus Megan Fox. And lots of Giant Robots. You gotta like it.
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That made me laugh reaaaaalllly hard. That is the only name I want to hear from this point on.
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Where I come from, greetest means the most upset. The person who is crying the most. Any chance of learning English....no wait, infact I am pretty sure that he is a wind up.
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finaly somebody who likes trnsformers 2 .wiked !anyone who dosnt like transofrmers2 is patehtic loser with no frends !
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what fuck are you talkingabout loser !
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I thought only people who hated Transformers 2 were losers??
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Jun 21, 2009 5:12:02 PM CDT
you will will all see trans formers 2 soshut the fuck up!!
by petergrifin
i know you will all of you go adn see transormers 2 so stop pretnding that you wont becaus you will even the ones of you who are acting lik e you hate it .Relly only losers wont see this and if you havent seen it when it come out you wont have thing to talk with your freinds about because eevryone will be speeking about this movie because its best novie ever made so justr shut fukc up and go and wathc it then .
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What do we do then? My penis is already too sore and full of blisters from wanking over the robot porn so what next??
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and you will go and see rtransformer2 so stop being stupiod fuck !transformers 2 is best movie ever made with action and espolsions and also megan fox who is 10 thosand times hottter than your girlfrend if you even hav girlfreind wich you prober ly dont beceuse your a loser who stay in all the time and your scard or hot girls or any girls and your viregins .
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Just curious.
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See what kind of new vehicle they make.
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its not even a word !
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He doesn't deserve the bashing just b/c he decided not to carbon-copy a cartoon based on a fucking kid's toy.
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He doesn't deserve the bashing just b/c he decided not to carbon-copy a cartoon based on a fucking kid's toy.
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If Bay is really snorting coke off of girls' asses, then i'm jealous. and so are the rest of you who might be old enough to have a girlfriend.
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I HAVE seen it. I paid more money to see it to. Now what do I do??
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People who defend crap like Bayformers also probably defend shit like "Teen Movie" and "Disaster Movie". At least hollywood is saving me a shitload of money, and for the cost of a movie ticket, I can BUY a good old movie on DVD. I just feel bad for the kids who have to grow up with this crap. Its hard to develop any ability to think when your entertainment is literally explosions followed by ass followed by hilarious stereotype. And the story, well, it was culled together in a coke induced haze and based off something that used to be popular.
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I hate Michael Bay movies and the Transformers (haven't seen part 2, nor do I care too) but I have no problem snorting coke off of girls' asses. That fact alone makes me respect Bay.
But note to Bay, titty bumps are better than ass bumps. Its a fact! -
but all ,of the other fags willl has to see it and if peeple keep to saying that michale bay is bad directing i will punch fuck out of them if i ever see them becuase its not fact and actully michael bay is best directing aciton movies ever alive !i am so sick of peeple speeking shit .!
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Jun 21, 2009 5:40:25 PM CDT
I saw Transformers 2 and it sucked... badly
by kevin_costners_recycled_piss
And I normally like Michael Bay movies.
The 1st Bad Boys: Fun little action film
The Rock: Although it was yet another 'Die Hard on a...' it still had decent action and Sean Connery kicked ass
Armageddon: Cheesy, flag-waving, corny but ultimately fun and a bit of a guilty pleasure really
Pearl Harbor: Okay it sucked but I still think the actually bombing of Pearl Harbor was pretty cool (Although considering the subject matter it shouldn't be)
Bad Boys 2: Overlong, self indulgent, four acts!? but I still find it fun in a retarded way.
The Island: the fucking trailer gives away the twist that they're all clones, other than that it was ok, if a bit forgetable.
Transformers: I enjoyed it although they should have ditched that pointless subplot involving the Austrailian hacker woman.
Transformers 2: I flat out hated this movie. It was bloated yet it had no plot, I couldn't tell what the fuck was going on during the fight scenes (I honestly didn't have this problem with the first) At the begining an Autobot saws a Decepticon in half but they both looked exactly the same! I was sat there thinking, why's he sawing his friend in half?
Also, why does Michael Bay keep ripping off his old movies? That camera move where the camera circles the action that he used in a shootout in Bad Boys II was used in T1 and again in this movie. We've got meteors hitting Paris again, the final set piece is the desert was alreay done in T1 (It looked like the exact same location too).
Michael Bay is like a retarded kid with ADD. He's watching Germlins one night on TV and thinks "wow, I'll recreate this in my Transformers movie" Then he flicks over and Terminator 3 is on... "Cool, I'll make one of my Transformers a hot girl who comes after them", then he sees National Treasure is on "I'll have the movie become a follow-the-clues-to-the-lost-temple film at the end for no reason"
After being one of the very few people who have a soft spot for Michael Bay movies for so long, he has finally made me a hater with this movie. Perhaps if I could have actually SEEN the action it wouldn't have been so bad.
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Jun 21, 2009 5:40:58 PM CDT
Even those who hate TF like us, still can't stop talking about i
by another_typical_talkbacker
That's how much we hate it. I'll continue to waste my entire Sunday dedicating my meaningless existence to bashing a movie about Transforming toy movies I loath.
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Yeah, I don't fault him for not carbon copying it. I fault him for making it shittier.
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Jun 21, 2009 5:41:57 PM CDT
TRAMSFORMERS2 IS EVENBETER THAN FIRST TRANSFORMING MOVIE!!!
by petergrifin
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Jun 21, 2009 5:50:45 PM CDT
My fellow haters, I now have a hate template that u can copy
by another_typical_talkbacker
That way we won't have to keep typing the same whinny things over and over. (Template 1) I hate Michael Bay because the camera moves. 2) I hate Bob Orci because a dog peed on a Tranformers foot. 3) Michael By movies are shit. 4) OMG, Devastator has testicles. 5) A robot farted I'm staying home. 6) Since I'm sexually repressed, I'm going to take it out on TF2. 7). Michael Bay is a rapist. 8) A plot involving Transforming toys should be deeper. 9) Michael Bay does coke. 10) This movie terrible because ________! Done, so just copy and paste it. And let the hate flow through you.
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It actually kinda makes sense...the wrecking balls have to go somewhere. I was expecting a nut shot, but it never happened. And A_T_T, you miss BumbleBee crying.
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... Who's 'Michael By'? Come on... I was expecting great things from you given the enthusiasm you demonstrated earlier today but so far I'm really rather unimpressed. Is that fair enough? It's constructive criticism really. Raise your game little one. I know you can do it. Just put a bit more thought into it and you'll be fine.
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Jun 21, 2009 5:59:00 PM CDT
10) This movie is terrible because________
by kevin_costners_recycled_piss
What little plot it has is so full of holes that you can drive that retarded wheelie thing from the start through it. That female disguised Decepticon for instance, what exactly was her objective? To Kill Sam? Ok fine, so why then did she try to fuck him all the time? And when Bumblebee squirted her why did she go off in a huff? Actually I know the answer, it's because at that point in the movie the plot required her to be a college girl who was interested in Sam and not a kiiler robot. Fucking ASS.
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Template # 9) 9) Michael Bay does coke and(Template # 8)A plot involving Transforming toys should be deeper.
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Actually I prefer smaller balls. They are easier to fit in the mouth.
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Actually I know the answer, it's because at that point in the movie the plot required her to be a college girl who was interested in Sam and not a kiiler robot. Fucking ASS.
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Transformers 2 just fucked my eyeballs.
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Saving Private Ryan - $481,840,909
Schindler's List - $321,306,305
Dances With Wolves - $424,208,848
Braveheart - $210,409,945
This short list is for the next ignorant motherfucker (like ganymede) who suggests large box office sales automatically equals quality. -
Jun 21, 2009 6:03:18 PM CDT
BORING TOY COMMERCIAL FOR KIDS AND SLOW PEOPLE
by edgarwrights_prolapsedanus
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You forgot 12) Bumblebee Crying.
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Jun 21, 2009 6:11:08 PM CDT
PAY MONEY TO SEE LONG, BORING ADVERT or...
by edgarwrights_prolapsedanus
Turn the volume way up on your TV, sit an inch away from it and then relentlessly cycle through the shopping channels for three hours.
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Why? Because my now seven year old son loved the first one. He was considered cool because he saw it opening night and there were all those robots, and funny things happened to authority figures. He already loves the new one, even though he hasn't seen it yet. Am I happier about the fact he loves Up and can't wait for Iron Man II? Sure. Could I deny him this one without being a hypocritical jackass? No. I remember the things I loved when I was a kid.
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Jun 21, 2009 6:31:37 PM CDT
Beginning. Middle. End. Facts. Plot. Tell us!
by kevin_costners_recycled_piss
Hey Michael Bay, ever thought about following your own fucking advice?
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Jesus fucking christ please PM the cell number to your coke dealers. You all obviously have grade A peruvian flake. You guys are repeating the same asinine arguments you've been making for the last 48 hours. Talk about losers.
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Beginning) Decepticons are searching for a part of the all spark to bring back Megatron. Middle)Decepticons seraching for Sam to find the knowledge to find the daggers tip End) Decepticons and Autobot / Human showdown. Happy? or was that too hard to follow.
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Doesn't the sound of that make you wanna cringe? Despite your crying kicking and screaming over this movie no one is going to listen to you. You're no different then the degenerates who stand on the city corners with large signs saying the world is going to end.
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The overreaction to this movie are hillarious, reminds of that south park election episode,
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Because from what I saw it was more like Beginning) BOOM BOOM BOOM some robots are fighting (although they could be fucking each other for all I can tell. Middle) BOOBS MEGAN FOX HAS NICE SWEATY BOOBS. End) What was that? Something about destroying the Sun now? Where the fuck did this come from... oh yeah, BOOM BOOM BOOM THE END.
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There are tons of people who hate me. They hate my movies and whatnot. But you know, hey, my films have made a lot of money around the world. 2-something billion dollars, that's a lot of tickets. They said that I wrecked cinema. They said that my, uh...cutting style. They say I cut too fast. And yet now you see it in movies everywhere. Do I take pride in people knowing my style? I think it's nice people know a director has a style. And you can reinvent yourself too.
[on "Transformers"] Well, it's just, you know, listen, it's like...I didn't want to make the boxy characters, you know? Think about it, 30 feet in the air in the real world, just boxes, you know and it'd just look more fake, you know? And by adding more doo-dads, you know, stuff on the...stuff. Stuff on the robots, more car parts, and...you know you can just make it look more real.
I write my own action. There's a scene in The Island (2005) - a highway chase where a pile of train wheels fall off a truck and smashes into the oncoming cars. That thought came to me as I was driving next to a truck carrying rail wheels. My mind is very fertile, so I'm like, 'That's very dangerous!' I sent someone out to do research and found out those train wheels weigh a TON each . . .
Quentin Tarantino called me once. Someone had written 'Is Michael Bay the Devil?' Quentin said, 'Don't worry, last year they called me the Antichrist.'
I know [critics] have [been tough on my movies]. And that's why I've taken Jerry Bruckheimer's advice: I don't read them, I really don't.
I make movies for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime.
I love it when people get really mean and call you a 'hack'. It's like, don't they see how well these movies are doing? They make an impression around the world. I met this guy in Bali who lives in a hut with a TV, and he loved The Rock (1996). That means something, doesn't it?
"Movieline" revealed in 2001 that Bay's father is John Frankenheimer. Frankenheimer, who always denied paternity, took a DNA test in the 1980s which was negative. Bay still maintains Frankenheimer was his father, and has countered that DNA work was less sophisticated at the time.
Intense slow motion shots of characters
Films often feature a US President giving a major speech before a major action is to be committed.
Has the camera moving during most scenes. Very rarely uses static shots.
(2001) His last 3 films all share: a) two male leads at odds with another; b) a cataclysmic event as the narrative's fulcrumic point; c) the film's lead female character has i) been a long-haired brunette, and ii) watched the film's climax from a control room
Actors/characters in his films are almost uniformly shot in tight, emphatic close ups, framed under the hairline and above the chin.
Often uses lightflashes (i.e. lightbulbs and cameraflashes) to enhance scenes.
Often has over-the-top visuals (i.e. key events taking place at sunset or dramatic events taking place behind actors doing routine activities).
Utilizes monotonic but intense musical cues during action-filled car chase scenes. Bad Boys II (2003), The Island (2005)
Uses shots of aircraft against a setting sun, especially helicopters (Armageddon (1998/I), Pearl Harbor (2001), Transformers (2007)).
Often features a slow-motion shot of an object crashing into, or tumbling towards the camera.
Uses a shot where the camera spins in a circle around characters. (Bad Boys II, Transformers)
Frequently incorporates scenes that involve characters running or moving towards the camera (almost always shot in slow-motion)
Big explosions
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I robbed that Coraline bitch just the other day.That emo goth chick that hangs around the 7/11, thats her right? $2.47, whats the big deal?
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Did Michael Bay dump you?
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That's the one. Shops at Hot Topic a lot? Yeah.
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Ben Affleck: "Hey Michael, in this movie how come they can train oil drillers to be astronauts but they can't train astronauts to be oil drillers?"
Michael Bay: "Shut the fuck up Ben" -
"Tummysticks" with Michael Bay!
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When you've got over 100 million dollars to play with, the story should be aiming higher than "80's cartoon level"
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#11 was really a pretty good reason to not like a movie. Because doing things like that represent a profound failure in the basic craft of making a film. Something that would be fixed by folks who cared about the product they were producing, even if they viewed it only as "product". Lose the bit...or if you need the bit, make sure there's a reason for it, one that works when you know what the girl really is. That kind of thing isn't hard to do, and it is the kind of thing you do if you have any respect for your audience. I mean you can pretend it isn't a valid criticism, but that's not the same as "he's a cokehead".
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...at that early point in the film she was still trying to find the magical Shia shard and therefore couldn't yet try to kill him. Just a guess, since I haven't seen it yet, but that would seem the most simple.
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Are you suggesting, then, that the next sequel will feature evil mermen? Green light that sucker now.
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really..once you see the first one you know immediately where Bay is coming from. He's gonna pump out shit no matter what the material is. Get what enjoyment you can from it, or ignore it. That's your only choices...pointless hating it, junk is junk.
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Battle of the Braindead Movies... I really hope Public Enemies will be good...
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Been awhile since I've seen you on the boards. What's new, sir?
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Wheres your buddy Assimov?
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...and sterilization of the retarded, it is a Transformers 2 Talkback. Holy fucking shit.
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Seriously, there hasn't been one movie to come out in the last 25 years that he doesn't hate.
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Sorry doubters, haters, and common folk. This one will make tons of money like the last one. There will be a third one.
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except what everyone knows already..most people like McDonalds
big fuckin surprise. -
People were ripping him a new one in the Indy4 YB.
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Damn fat fingers!
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People love absolute shit. It's science.
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the same shit a last time. Check brain at door, dumb fun,blah blah blah blah blah. How the fuck can you defend transformers? You're a homo.
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Been happily busy for a bit. Should be around more again now. Good to see you still around.
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He's that friend that all of has, we like him for the most part, but once in a while someone in the group has to haul off and punch him in the goddam head because he always says the stupidest shit.
He's the friend that gets too drunk at the bar with you, asks the bartender to show him her tits, gets you all thrown out, and then does it again at the next bar you go to and so on...
I love you gany, but sometimes I wanna punch you in your stupid head.
So say we all! -
This movie will blow. And talkbackers who throw the word 'faggot' around secretly long to suck dick. Nothing personal dude, it's just true and you know it. I know a lot of queer folk that could KICK. YOUR. ASS.
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Hot-ass Megan Fox and giant robots laying waste ought to be enough for a pass. Can't WAIT for this motherfucker to unspool...
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Jun 21, 2009 8:54:29 PM CDT
"And it takes at least an hour and a trip across the globe
by creasybear
before ANY character seems to know what is going on and why it’s happening. This hurts the movie." Really? That hurts the movie? Something so trivial as the plot being completely unintelligible? You're too picky, Reviewer Number 1! Either that, or you have a remarkable gift for understatement.
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Jun 21, 2009 8:55:39 PM CDT
Transformers have moms and dads and make babies
by trannyformers_apologist
Transformers now have moms and dads and make babies.
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Jun 21, 2009 8:55:44 PM CDT
Transformers have moms and dads and make babies
by trannyformers_apologist
Transformers now have moms and dads and make babies.
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I'm ex-military and just LOVE how Bay pulls off the military stuff. The fight scene vs. the scorpion thing in TF1 makes me smile every time.
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I'm ex-military and just LOVE how Bay pulls off the military stuff. The fight scene vs. the scorpion thing in TF1 makes me smile every time.
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I have 2 questions..
1. Do you have a job?
2. What do you hope to gain from your empty posts? -
1) The movie made 700 million worldwide. 2) It was given a A- rating on Yahoo Movies, over 90,000 movie fans voted. 3) If the movie was that terrible, It wouldn't of shattered the myriad of DVD and Blu Ray sales records that it did. The people spoke, with their wallets, much louder then your inaudible whining. The movie going public has rendered their verdicts. And they've ruled in favor of Michael Bay and the Transformers. You have no material evidence outside of subjective opinions to support your side of the argument. You lose, MB, TF, and normal people like me win.
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That's your defense of the movie? The general populous liked it? Popularity is not parallel to quality. Know what else posted over 700 million worldwide? The Da Vinci Code. And that movie was awful. If you can't defend the film based on the film, and your argument relies only on the masses who tunes into shit like "dancing with the stars", you lose.
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Funniest line in this whole talkback.
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It's one thing if TF1 bombed at the box office (which it didn't), and another if DVD & Blu-ray sales were bad (which they weren't). If it was that bad, where did all the home-release sales come from? Numbers don't lie, bro.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:17:14 PM CDT
It doesn't matter what you thought of Transformers
by kevin_costners_recycled_piss
Because Transformers 2 is shit on so many levels it's just not even funny anymore. And I'm one of the people who actually liked the 1st one.
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Hanna Montana is the Mozart of her time; and McDonalds is better than The French Laundry.Those numbers only confirm that the world is ruled by retards...don't legitimize their reign my friend.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:18:21 PM CDT
I don't have to defend it, the facts speak for themselves.
by ganymede3010
And I just laid the indisputable facts in my previous post. Here's my challenge to you all. Please present something outside of negative opinions that support your argument. That should be easy right? Wrong because there isn't any. You're a small insignificant minority who won't be missed once the total box office gross has been tallied.
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I love it when people post their opinions as facts.
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Nobody said it wasn't a commercial success. We're saying it was crap. Are you people actually too deft to comprehend this? I think that might be the case. Answer me this: Do you enjoy the Dora the Explorer? Do you consider that high art? Because that show is a fucking cash cow.
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so basically you are pissed off because movies like these please the "wrong people?"
if the movie doesn't make you happy then the movie shouldn't have been made & those who liked it are wrong & need to be "shown the light"? when all is said and done they did exactly what they wanted, they made a movie that the "general populous" liked and they made more money then they know what to do with, it is obvious that they were not trying to please people such as yourself.
quality when it comes to movies (at least in this case) is opinion, not fact. people are not wrong for having a different opinion, although alot of people here seem to think that it is. -
the standardized test scores in the typical American Middle and High school? The fact that 2.0gpa, medicated mouth breathers from broken homes like this shit isn't surprising. The fact that these fucktards parents bought them the DVD so they would sit mindless for a couple of hours while they went outside and lit a blunt isn't too hard to fathom.No..those numbers just confirm that the typical human has the taste and intellectual capacity of an ant. It is why NASCAR is popular, why Natty Ice outsells Chimay, and why Transformers sets records for dvd sales.
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My only point is the film had a lot of repeat business. That's pretty clear. If you didn't like it, I really don't care...I enjoyed it and so did a LOT of other folk...
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I believe he was referring to Hannah Montana as a whole. Not the film, but the brand. They could make 5 Transformers movies and it wouldn't put a dent into what she's brought in for Disney in merchandise, ticket sales, advertising, and box office receipts.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:25:13 PM CDT
It's like when you are driving by a farm with the window down...
by boober
and you get a whiff of the worst manure ever. Thing is, in order to validate your hate, and to convince yourself and others its worth whining about, you have to take that second sniff. Others hear your tripe on a TB and they, too, must sniff for themselves. Glorious Shit or Glorious Fun...either way Bay wins and you contribute to more movies like this being made. I say keep the "trainwreck talk" coming. It just adds to the spectacle. The Matrix has you, bitches.
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Sad, no wonder our country is in such despair.
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I'm not pissed off. I've already said that there's a clear place in society for media like this. It's comfort food. That's all well and good. But when people go running around saying Transformers is "amazing" it denigrates the entire art form. That's what we're saying. So stop making shit up and putting words in peoples' mouths. Nothing good has ever come from that.
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That bitch has sold 8 fucking million records in the last year...has the highest rated cable tv show for the 8-15yr old demo (same demo as TF2 no doubt), and made $67 million in 2007.Number don't lie you say...well there they are...You are defending the Miley Cyrus of films.
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...agreed, the world is indeed ruled by retards. But if the majorit of the population were brilliant, the structure of the entire global economic system would collapse. Our lives, sadly, depend on the stupid and uneducated. At least the way the world currently works....if retards were few & far between, marginalized, then we would have great advances for mankind, but the socioeconomic (and political!) order would be radically altered to something we have never experienced.
Take your example of McD's vs the French Laundry. I get what you're saying, but it's apples & oranges. McD's is ubiquitous and a cheap quick fix....the French Laundry is expensive as fuck, it's very difficult to get a reservation, and when you do, you have to wait 3 or 4 months before you can go. So if everyone had money to go to FL, and everyone had the taste to recognize how glorious it is...the French Laundry would probably be unable to operate. So many people can't afford that, and if you opened a shitload of FL's all across America to meet the demand, the quality would invariably suffer and it would become a watered down mediocre restaurant.
So my point is...uh....ah...I forgot. -
I'm quite sure that wasn't the idea...
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"But when people go running around saying Transformers is "amazing" it denigrates the entire art form"
or does it denigrate YOUR VIEW of the art form? -
...it's POPULACE, assholes! POPULACE. One person writes it wrong, then everybody else follows. Christ. This isn't a typo...typos are fine. You're like one of those high school retards who tries to get all educated and writes, "per say" or "pre madonna".
That said, I actually like Kolchak and agree with the solid points he's making. I just figured that part of being a Talkbacker is to insult my fellow forum dwellers as frequently and harshly as I can over trivial bullshit. Proceed. -
No. It denigrates the art form. Thanks for playing, though.
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...just don't get all butt-hurt and defensive when people insist it's crap. It is, without a doubt, crap. But it's okay to like crap. A friend of mine really likes Limp Bizkit. That's okay, because he doesn't get offended when people remark that they hate Limp Bizkit, because they're crap. If he insisted (like Ganymede) that it was "the best music EVAR", he'd be intolerable. Like Ganymede. But this is all pointless because the people to which this point needs to be made are mostly fucking idiots. As is "irrefutably proved" by this talkback.
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Your rants are getting nuttier by the paragraph.
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but wouldn't it be nice to raise the bar for the base JUST A LITTLE? Should we not at least TRY to give these folks MORE than they expected..to expose them to just a HINT of quality?Look at it this way...if the bar on quality was raised..those things that are already good would have to find ways to justify their cost...find ways to again raise the bar even high..and therefore drag the bas up with them. Imagine if McDonalds were as good as a gourmet burger...would not those gourmet burgers then have to push themselves..reinvent themselves..progress to justify their existence?Quality is good for everyone...pandering to the base leads to stagnation, and eventually decline as expectations are forever lowered.Then again...if the typical TF 2 patron got to uppity...who would mow my lawn? hmmmm
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Apologies. Sometimes when you're flustered posts turn into stream of conscious writing and typos take a back seat. On the plus side, I can definitely spell prima donna.
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I do "agree" with you, though...to "an extent". Nice name, btw.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:39:28 PM CDT
Be prepared for farting. And Transformer testicles and scrotums
by trannyformers_apologist
I'm sorry but you're definitely in the minority. Every review I've read that gauged the audience reaction to the comedy was largely negative.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:40:42 PM CDT
Paul Blart highest selling DVD 2 weeks in a row
by trannyformers_apologist
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Jun 21, 2009 9:40:48 PM CDT
Paul Blart highest selling DVD 2 weeks in a row
by trannyformers_apologist
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And I'll go on the record and say that the TF brand as a whole has made allot more money then Hanna Montana has. So I'll repeat once again, it was a piss poor analogy.
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...that I've lowered myself to attack people's grammar, but as proven by all my earlier posts above, it's a losing battle to argue logic with these fools who love a good Transformers shit sandwich, so I may as well educate them, no?
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are wrong, they can like or hate whatever they want. but to say that other people are stupid because someone likes something that they hate is completely pointless. can someone explain the logic to me?
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I "was" making "fun" of Ganymede's "proof." "Was" it "ironic?" I "don't" even "know" anymore.
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That is one big pile of shit.
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just start picking on someone for fun, or disagree with everybody, or pretend to be bay.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:47:23 PM CDT
ficitional character comparisson between Optimus and Jesus
by miyamoto_musashi
Definetely the highlight for me in the reviews.
And enjoyed the follow up comments, i.e. in 1,000 years or so, someone will think Luke Skywalker was real.
Hopefully we are not so ignorant by then, given the literacy levels now and spread of information, printing press, mass media, internet compared to 2,000 years ago. -
Jun 21, 2009 9:48:58 PM CDT
Oh man, Isabella or Megan, how does a man choose.
by trannyformers_apologist
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Jun 21, 2009 9:50:22 PM CDT
Was does shootfortheedit.com hate Transformer fans?
by trannyformers_apologist
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...agreed, matey. The problem is that if you reach that point, scarcity of resources comes into play. They're finite and it's a zero-sum game. Granted, when you raise the bar, many high quality goods would become cheaper by virtue of demand and economies of scale. High quality restaurants would pop up all over the place. However, when you try to fit the kind of exquisite quality and cratsmanship that goes into the kind of food we're talking about into a gargantuan scale...it won't work. At some point, it will get diluted, people won't be able to get the resources they need (not just in terms of the raw materials, but also in talented chefs, highly trained managers, primo real estate, etc) and this will drive the prices back up again. Then the masses who were once above the norm will once again settle for something subpar compared to the highest level.
If you think about it in terms of filmmaking talent, it works in a similar way. God-given storytelling talent is incredibly scarce, which is why ther are so few masters of film. The same goes for music, you get loads of garbage, some mediocre stuff, a little excellent stuff, and just a sliver of brilliance. So in film, you have layers...you have your Scorses-type legends, then your Peter Jacksons and Chris Nolans, etc, then your competent directors like Martin Campbell or Sam Raimi...then you start to dig through the trash with Brett Ratner and Tim Story.
But in principle, I agree with you. Talent can also be developed and nurtured to an extent, and the masses can be taught over time, though it takes generations. But if they keep lapping up the dogshit, it just becomes that much harder, because the message is loud & clear. If the first stupid parody film by those "Meet the Spartans" folks had bombed, that would have been the end of it. But we have enough Middle America retards and stupid kids (because of a variety of cultural, social, and economic issues) who vote 'yay' with their wallets. So what can you do?
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Good question, I'm not sure. Kind of surprised he's not here spewing out his typical Bay-Hate. Then again, DocPazuzu, kolchack, and I came down pretty hard on him in the INDY 5 Talkback. He may have needed to take a time-out.
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even my screen name is funnier than yours, you called yourself the dark shite, like thats called a circumlocution , which is supposed to be 'ironic' or 'humourous'
my screen name is Ironic name, trumping yours.
in short, I'm funnier, smarter, a better dresser, and probably better looking than you.
now go away. -
Jun 21, 2009 9:50:51 PM CDT
Here's what's so sad and pathetic about you haters. The grievanc
by trannyformers_apologist
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Jun 21, 2009 9:50:57 PM CDT
"the TF brand as a whole has made allot more money then Hanna Mo
by kolchak
Really? Think that has something to do with the fact that Hannah Montana has only been in existence for 3 years? You're clever.
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IMAX? I suppose I would like to see it in IMAX but I doubt I'll get around to it. Although, I've heard that due to the CGI renders and so forth, it's the ideal way to few this visual/sonic fiesta!Gany, I have to say...your enthusiasm for this flick is admirable. I hope you find that it's well rewarded.
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Kind of easy at this point, spend as much money as the studio gives you, especially on cool military stuff.
Would be keen to see how the budget was split and what it was spent on.
Given Bay's penchant for excess, and bigger is better, Fox will need to get implants or at least CG implants for the third one. -
Jun 21, 2009 9:54:25 PM CDT
Transformers Rules! Optimus Prime is the greastest Superhero EVE
by trannyformers_apologist
Transformers Rules! Optimus Prime is the greastest Superhero EVER! End of Story.
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glad to see you're joining in !
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Jun 21, 2009 9:56:00 PM CDT
It's the haters who try to force their opinions on everyone.
by ganymede3010
And if you dare challenge their opinion, then there's something wrong with you. And if you use any independent sources outside of a subjective opinion to support your argument(ticket sales, DVD sales) then there's something wrong with society and not them.
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Two and a half hours of shite,constant lame stream of crude humour,two offense autobots,meatflap and pissflap or something like that,soundwave just floats about in the atmosphere and yes his voice is not the same as it was,dont watch it,i did enjoy the first one mostly,i loved the part at the beginning with blackout destroying the military base,maybe cos that was the first big reveal,either way there is nothing in this film that compares to that scene,The writers and Bay have really outdone themselves with this one,when the big finale rolls around you just dont care anymore after being worn down over two and a quarter hours of tasteless nonsense and it aint such a big robot war at the end as reviews led me to believe,skip this one folks,watch the original again if your hankerin for some robot's whaling on robot's action.
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how is this so hard to understand!?! Miley Cyrus made more money between 2007 and now than 99% of the other artists on the Planet...So by your own logic, that $$$=quality, she should be something INCREDIBLE/GREAT/INSPIRED. So tell me...is she, based on her revenue generation potential, fucking inspired; or is she, like Transformers, cotton candy for toe nibblers and bib wearers?
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Little Bitch is probably cryin' to his momma,"Ma,*sniff*sniff* they're bein' mean to me!
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Have spoke to a few people about the movie and whats funny is all the people I know who have lived/studied in America, found the most unrealistic part of the movie to be the absence of fat people, particularly during the college scenes.
They didn't foucs on gigantic humanoid robots running around, but how all the college student looked like models and that apart from Sam's dad, 99% percent of the americans in the movie were in good shape.
On reflection and given my visits to the states when I have visited NY and LA, I get what they mean, and as my American friends have told me I didn't even visit mid west or the south.
But its still funny what some people focus on, in terms of realism. -
Shit, I need to get laid.
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Happily busy sounds good to me, man. Glad to see you make an appearance.Kind of funny to find two Talkback stalwarts like Hairy Nutsack and Red Ned Lynch in a TRANSFORMERS thread of all places!
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You just don't get it, man. Remember the year Larry the Cable guy made more money on tour than any other comedian? That means Larry the Cable guy is funnier than Richard Pryor or George Carlin. That's just how it works.
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"""When I was younger I had tough time connecting with girls. I was skinny, dorky looking, Immature etc. So I never had a Girlfriend during my first 3 years of High School, so I basically branded a LOSER by all my friends. And they reminded me daily of mis-fortunes:("""""""""" familiar
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...and not "few. Sheesh.
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Jun 21, 2009 10:04:34 PM CDT
Miley Cyrus knows how to connect with her core audience.
by ganymede3010
Just because you or I don't listen to, or watch Miley Cyrus doesn't mean that everyone else is stupid for liking her. It simply means that she knows how to get the most out of her targeted demographic.
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The fans have to watch the movie 7 or 8 times in IMAX just to try and figure out what happened.
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The term "hater" is a gross simplification - no, not even that - it's a bullshit way of trying to reduce your opponents' viewpoint into something you can understand & easily revile. Do you think I want to hate on a Transformers film? No, I want to love the fucking thing. I want to be excited, I want to laugh at the humour, I want to feel the tension and follow the action.
Unfortunately, it's a film that panders to the lowest common denominator: the fratboys, the undiscerning teens, and yes, the retards. This isn't about blind hatred, it's about a love of storytelling and a love for the experience of going to the movies.
So a better distinction would be:
a) People with standards & an appreciation for storytellings.
b) Retards.
Ok, ok. Maybe not retards. But definitely, "Members of America's cultural underbelly with crude, simplistic tastes and marginal complex thought." Or, "Folks who use hollow rationalizations to settle for less." Or maybe, "People who didn't read a whole lot when they were younger."
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Who wants to place bets on the true alternate identity of Trannyformers_Apologist. I have little doubt he's a Talkbacker we would probably recognize under another name.Any takers? Any guesses?
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I find Miley intensely annoying. Especially her voice, with its raspy croak. I also dislike the stupid statements she makes, and her holier-than-thou statements about virginity that is hypocritically coupled with her amped sluttiness.
And yet, I would love to pork her young flesh like a rabid fucking mammoth in heat. Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad person? I mean...she's legal right?
Right?
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And the fact that you're using the board reader to comb through my posts made on other forums proves how much of a fucking deranged and psychotic stalker you really are. I have no shame about anything I've written about my personal life.
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He's not a "psychotic stalker" because oftentimes he posts first and that means more people read his posts than anyone else's. Logic dictates he's the greatest member of the site.
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Explosions, nonexistent story, inane script, more explosions, shaky cam, insipid characters, more explosions, not one bit of honest story telling etc...The fact that ABSENT a GOOD Story, decent characterizations, a script written in something other than all caps with an exclamation point, and non-cliched cinematography this thing still makes Bank...I ask..what does that say about its CORE audience?
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in Germany.Don't worry friend...you are not alone here. I for one can't wait till the fame falls a bit and she cam whores on Stickum.However...as a Disney shareholder...I hope that isn't too soon...she's really fucking good for the bottom line.;)
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"instead, he should go watch the real T2 - the one with Arnold and Furlong - and understand that an action movie doesn't have to be brainless?"
the real T2! DAMN RIGHT! Terminator 2.
FUCK Bayformers!! Revenege of the Idiots. Is this shit on rapidshare yet!? he aint getting a penny from me. -
Are you really, really so sad & lonely that I can eat, watch a movie & then go to sleep for 14 hours & come back to see you comparing names with me?
& on the basis that I said it looked like you were flirting with edgarwrightsarthriticstump by spending AGES on this TB arguing with him over who likes balls the most?
Man, that's just sad. -
I never said it was good. In fact, I said it took me all of about one second to think it up.
If it was good, I wouldn't brag about it. Nor would I brag about being called ironic_name. It's not like either are tough to think up. But hey, you & your "ball buddy" keep on being obsessed with me. I'm fine having a life & eating/sleeping while you rant away. -
for the guy with the PROLAPSED ANUS to show up?IN...5...4...3...2...1...
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Please allow me to compare apples to apples and quote myself from today in this very TalkBack.
Saving Private Ryan - $481,840,909
Schindler's List - $321,306,305
Dances With Wolves - $424,208,848
Braveheart - $210,409,945
According to ganymede's moron logic all of the above movies are not as good as Bayformers, along with thousands upon thousands of other films that are superior in EVERY way to Bayformers but had smaller BO numbers.
But feel free to ignore my post about box office numbers again gany because you know I just destroyed your entire BO argument, and ignoring it is the only way you can continue making the BO argument.
In other words, you got pwned bitch ass punk.
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Well you shouldn't be surprised I'm in this TB, I was pounding away at the last movie too. Remember my "Megatron" video?
I dunno why I feel so passionate about this particular movie, I guess it's the absolute moronic way the fans support it, such as gany's constantly repeated BO argument. -
are far more entertaining than this movie could ever hope to be. I can't wait until they make the GoBots movie.
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The last hour shit explodes. It's not heavy sci fi. Heavy sci fi is in books these days.
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I came home and burned all of my G-1 toys in a giant bonfire in the woods. No joke. Prime melted like a popsicle in Megan Fox's fox hole.
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Something like..
"Like watching paint dry, while being repeatedly hit over the head with frying pan." -
in terms of who gives a shit
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Something like..
"Like watching paint dry, while being repeatedly hit over the head with a frying pan." -
I thought I'd managed to catch that one just in time.
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I would have to agree...we are all preaching to the choir here...the film is still going to rake in a ton of cash and middle America will certainly be pleased with their farting/testicle dangling transformers in action.
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Want a great sci-fi story? Go to Barnes and Noble this week...
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Trek was pretty damn good. The best this summer so far.
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No, I hear ya. Although, I don't believe I saw your Megatron video. However, I do remember you working on a version of a G1 Optimus Prime-styled render or something to that effect.As for the passions surrounding this movie, I think a lot of it has to do with Michael Bay's previous work and his tendencies therein. Either you like it or you don't. Gany is a little gung-ho about this one but I don't hold it against him. It takes a special kind of fan to praise Bay and then get kicked off of his message boards!Conversely, there are a lot of shitty films out there. Why some people are considered cool and others are viewed as crap is a subjective choice. But, what do I know. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why EVIL DEAD is considered a classic...
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Well then here's the Megatron video - http://tinyurl.com/co8lsd
And here's a pic of the Prime model I created for the unfinished animation - http://tinyurl.com/2oedg5
I really need to do something with the Prime model, he transforms and everything.
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Jun 21, 2009 11:33:20 PM CDT
Hairy Nutsack, I never said box office $$$ meant better
by ganymede3010
So why do insist on misrepresenting what I said. Here's what I'm saying since you're having trouble comprehending what I'm trying to communicate. When I'm debating a point I will always provide independent sources that support my argument. And the sources that I used to support my argument were ticket sales, and DVD sales. If you have any independent evidence that supports your claim that TF1 was deplorable, I would like to see it.
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make back their budgets, sure some take YEARS too, but they still do. So fuck it.
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You just said it again for fuck's sake!!
Your argument is that Bayformers is good/great/whatever and you are supporting that by using ticket sales and DVD sales as proof.
My whole argument is that ticket sales mean absolutely NOTHING in terms of quality period, good or bad.
Great example, The Iron Giant was a commercial flop, but it's an absolutely fantastic film.
So let's recap, box office reflects only one thing, lots of people saw a movie or they didn't, and that's it.
Independent evidence - RT has the first movie at 57% and has the new movie at 38% - eat it -
...I do remember the Megatron video! How could I forget that one. Nice work on the Prime model, too. That's about as accurate a G1 representation as I've seen.
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I'm just going to have to see it for myself. But let me know how the boycott goes.
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Unfortunately I'm a much better 3D modeller than animator.
I'll probably put together a video of him walking around and transforming and such, he looks really cool in motion. Even rigged the eyes and mouth so I can make him talk and "emote", maybe I'll have him scream at Bay and ganymede. LMAO -
I'll stop being facetious because we both know you don't have any independent sources to back your argument. Lets assume for one second that what you say is right. Transformers only made allot of money because allot of people saw it, not because it was any good. So can you please explain why the DVD and Blu Ray sales were record breaking?
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transformers is gay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiP_2S1Ljqg -
...that making a TF film with strong characterisation should be easy. Some of those tech spec bios are amazing; aristocratic snob and doubter Mirage, sociopathic narcissist Sunstreaker, brutal, amoral Autobot thug Slag, war profiteer Swindle, manic depressive Dead End, Earth-loving Hound, apathetic Thundercracker, logical diplomat Prowl.
Bob Budiansky, not the cartoon, has been credited by Hasbro as being the main reason for Transformers enduring success, as he created many of the most iconic characters.
As for the films bastardising the characters, well, the cartoon show did that with Grimlock (it annoys me that so many people see cartoon Grimlock as canon, when his tech specs bio and comic version are actually regarded as canon by most real TF fans) and Shockwave. If Chris Nolan made Transformers Shockwave would be the main villain, he's a far more intimidating and cunning Decepticon leader than Megatron ever was.
The cartoon may have been dumb, but the Marvel comics were ground-breaking in their depiction of violence, astonishingly dark and very smart, with some brilliant characterisation. Warrior School, Dinobot Hunt, Target: 2006 piss on alot of Marvel's superhero comics of the same period from a very great height. Furman's origin of the Transformers in issue #150 of the UK comic is an astonishing feat of imagination.
ROTF has a fantastic forest set-piece, inspired more by the comics than the cartoon in its sheer brutality (Prime saying "I'll take you all on!" was a great moment and Cullen was fantastic throughout), some funny lines from Jetfire (the line about his dad being a wheel was much funnier than all the tacky sexual innuendo). The Transformers spoke as everymen, which is how they are supposed to speak.
Soundwave was great; he is supposed to be an observer and manipulator, and that's what he is. He proves less is more.
The Twins however, prove more is less, I would have preferred Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.
I hated the numerous Decepticon clones (budget/time constraints?), that was just plain lazy.
Lets not ever forget Death's Head would not exist without "dumb" Transformers, and he, in his original incarnation (not the shitty DH2 bollocks) is one of the greatest Marvel characters ever.
And Prime is better than Jesus. Prime has better morals and has not inflicted religion on the world. Prime wins.
"If God created man in his image, who created these beings?"
The real Transformers fans know the answer to that question (so that rules out Spielberg then).
Its Spielberg I blame more than Bay; it was Spielberg who said "don't make it about sentient robots, make it about a boy and his car". Twat. -
Any thoughts on where they will go ?
Might have to ask this question once the masses have seen number 2. -
i mean just look at schindlers list, wasn't that based on the easy bake oven?
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Its a term of Cybertronian abusive slang.
Imagine how many people will be offended by that. -
Grimlock is the greatest Transformer of them all. A. he's mentally retarded. B. he speaks in third person. C. he changes into a Tyrannosaurs Rex that breathes fire. D. he owns Autobots AND Decepticons in every episode he's in. The canon is the cartoon. Everything else is Expanded Universe.
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Sorry, I thought the evidence from rotten tomatoes in my last post to you would have counted as "independent." **roll eyes**
As someone else pointed out earlier, Paul Blart: Mall Cop was number one in DVD sales for a few weeks too. All I can say is that lots of people buy lots of DVDs, some good and some awful.
There's plenty of awful movies that sell loads of tickets and DVDs, big fucking deal. Titanic still holds the record at the box office at over 2 billion dollars, do you think it's better than your beloved Bayformers? It's certainly not better than the next runner-up, Dark Knight, which barely topped 1 billion dollars, is Titanic better than DK? (and if you say yes then you've officially lost all credibility, whatever's left of it)
So let's review, ticket and DVD sales don't mean shit when it comes to the quality or lack of quality in a film. People go to the movies and buy DVDs, how the fuck should I know why they choose shit like Transformers, it defies all logic and reason. People also spend billions of dollars on scat porn and rape fantasy porn DVDs, they must be the very pinnacle of cinema by your standards. -
I don't think the "scat porn and rape fantasy porn DVDs" industry is as lucrative as you think it is.
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Easy to agree re Soundwave and the twins.
Star Wars Phantom Menace, had the phantom edit to exclude Jar Jar, might see that with this film in regards to the twins. Surely Bumblebee is cute and funny enough for the kids.
Think the blame has to be shared around, between Bay and Spielberg, the producers gave a huge chunk of cash to a guy who revels in excess. Not sure he was kept in check. Maybe the dailies, set pieces looked cool, but certainly lacked a complete picture view. Think some smart editing, could help out quite a bit. -
Yadda yadda yadda. Yay Bayformers!
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for the whole transformers shtick to begin with. To me, it looked like more pretentious Michael Gay car explosions. Fuck that no talent Labeouf anyways. It was he and that fucking fridge that cartooneyed Indiana Jones forever. Go back to selling sex on the disney channel, COCKSUCKER.
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Jun 22, 2009 1:11:08 AM CDT
Hairy Nutsack, the critics savaged Empire Strikes back too!
by ganymede3010
That's why I don't use anyones subjective opinions when it comes to movies. Ticket sales coupled with superior DVD sales is the best way to gauge a movies universal appeal.
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This is why subjective opinions are meaningless. June 15, 1980
'The Empire Strikes Back' Strikes a Bland Note
By VINCENT CANBY
he Force is with us but let's try to keep our heads. These things are certifiable: "The Empire Strikes Back," George Lucas's sequel to his "Star Wars," the biggest grossing motion picture of all time, has opened. On the basis of the early receipts, "The Empire Strikes Back" could make more money than any other movie in history, except, maybe, "Star Wars." It is the second film in a projected series that may last longer than the civilization that produced it.
Confession: When I went to see "The Empire Strikes Back" I found myself glancing at my watch almost as often as I did when I was sitting through a truly terrible movie called "The Island."
The Empire Strikes Back" is not a truly terrible movie. It's a nice movie. It's not, by any means, as nice as "Star Wars." It's not as fresh and funny and surprising and witty, but it is nice and inoffensive and, in a way that no one associated with it need be ashamed of, it's also silly. Attending to it is a lot like reading the middle of a comic book. It is amusing in fitful patches but you're likely to find more beauty, suspense, discipline, craft and art when watching a New York harbor pilot bring the Queen Elizabeth 2 into her Hudson River berth, which is what "The Empire Strikes Back" most reminds me of. It's a big, expensive, time-consuming, essentially mechanical operation.
Gone from "The Empire Strikes Back" are those associations that so enchanted us in "Star Wars," reminders of everything from the Passion of Jesus and the stories of Beowulf and King Arthur to those of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, the Oz books, Buck Rogers and Peanuts. Strictly speaking, "The Empire Strikes Back" isn't even a complete narrative. It has no beginning or end, being simply another chapter in a serial that appears to be continuing not onward and upward but sideways. How, then, to review it?
The fact that I am here at this minute facing a reproachful typewriter and attempting to get a fix on "The Empire Strikes Back" is, perhaps, proof of something I've been suspecting for some time now. That is, that there is more nonsense being written, spoken and rumored about movies today than about any of the other so-called popular arts except rock music. The Force is with us, indeed, and a lot of it is hot air.
Ordinarily when one reviews a movie one attempts to tell a little something about the story. It's a measure of my mixed feelings about "The Empire Strikes Back" that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot. That was actually one of the more charming conceits of "Star Wars," which began with a long, intensely complicated message about who was doing what to whom in the galactic confrontations we were about to witness and which, when we did see them, looked sort of like a game of neighborhood hide-and-seek at the Hayden Planetarium. One didn't worry about its politics. One only had to distinguish the good persons from the bad. This is pretty much the way one is supposed to feel about "The Empire Strikes Back," but one's impulse to know, to understand, cannot be arrested indefinitely without doing psychic damage or, worse, without risking boredom.
This much about "The Empire Strikes Back" I do understand: When the movie begins, Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) and their gang are hanging out on a cold, snowy planet where soldiers ride patrols on animals that look like ostrich-kangaroos, where there are white-furred animals that are not polar bears and where Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) almost freezes to death.
Under the command of Darth Vader, the forces of the Empire attack, employing planes, missiles and some awfully inefficient tanks that have the shape of armor-plated camels. Somehow Han Solo and Princess Leia escape. At that point Luke Skywalker flies off to find Yoda, a guru who will teach him more about the Force, Yoda being the successor to Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi (Alec Guinness), the "Star Wars" guru who was immolated in that movie but whose shade turns up from time to time in the new movie for what looks to have been about three weeks of work.
As Han Solo and Princess Leia wrestle with the forces of darkness and those of a new character played by Billy Dee Williams, an unreliable fellow who has future sainthood written all over him, Luke Skywalker finds his guru, Yoda, a small, delightful, Muppet-like troll created and operated by Frank Oz of the Muppet Show. Eventually these two stories come together for still another blazing display of special effects that, after approximately two hours, leave Han Solo, Leia and Luke no better off than they were at the beginning.
I'm not as bothered by the film's lack of resolution as I am about my suspicion that I really don't care. After one has one's fill of the special effects and after one identifies the source of the facetious banter that passes for wit between Han Solo and Leia (it's straight out of B-picture comedies of the 30's), there isn't a great deal for the eye or the mind to focus on. Ford, as cheerfully nondescript as one could wish a comic strip hero to be, and Miss Fisher, as sexlessly pretty as the base of a porcelain lamp, become (is it rude to say?) tiresome. One finally looks around them, even through them, at the decor. If Miss Fisher does much more of this sort of thing, she's going to wind up with the Vera Hruba Ralston Lifetime Achievement Award.
The other performers are no better or worse, being similarly limited by the not-super material. Hamill may one day become a real movie star, an identifiable personality, but right now it's difficult to remember what he looks like. Even the appeal of those immensely popular robots, C-3PO and R2-D2, starts to run out.
In this context it's no wonder that Oz's contribution, the rubbery little Yoda with the pointy ears and his old-man's frieze of wispy hair, is the hit of the movie. But even he can be taken only in small doses, possibly because the lines of wisdom he must speak sound as if they should be sung to a tune by Jimmy Van Heusen.
I'm also puzzled by the praise that some of my colleagues have heaped on the work of Irvin Kershner, whom Lucas, who directed "Star Wars" and who is the executive producer of this one, hired to direct "The Empire Strikes Back." Perhaps my colleagues have information denied to those of us who have to judge the movie by what is on the screen. Did Kershner oversee the screenplay, too? Did he do the special effects? After working tirelessly with Miss Fisher to get those special nuances of utter blandness, did he edit the film? Who, exactly, did what in this movie? I cannot tell, and even a certain knowledge of Kershner's past work ("Eyes of Laura Mars," "The Return of a Man Called Horse," "Loving") gives me no hints about the extent of his contributions to this movie. "The Empire Strikes Back" is about as personal as a Christmas card from a bank.
I assume that Lucas supervised the entire production and made the major decisions or, at least, approved of them. It looks like a movie that was directed at a distance. At this point the adventures of Luke, Leia and Han Solo appear to be a self-sustaining organism, beyond criticism except on a corporate level.
http://www.nytimes.com/library/film/061580empire.html -
I know, was going for some hyberbole there. But some sources do claim that the porn industry as a whole is more profitable than the movie industry. So ganymede's porn collection must be huge.
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The Empire Strikes Back" that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot". " It's not as fresh and funny and surprising and witty, but it is nice and inoffensive and, in a way that no one associated with it need be ashamed of, it's also silly."The Empire Strikes Back" most reminds me of. It's a big, expensive, time-consuming, essentially mechanical operation".
"Yoda with the pointy ears and his old-man's frieze of wispy hair, is the hit of the movie. But even he can be taken only in small doses, possibly because the lines of wisdom he must speak sound as if they should be sung to a tune by Jimmy Van Heusen". AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this sounds almost identical to the way the haters bash the Transformers. One thing is for sure, times change but people don't. -
That's his toy bio motto...hmmm does not sound much like the cartoon, does it. Comic book Grimmy would be awesome on the cinema screen, cartoon Grimmy would just end up being a retarded Bay/Spielberg "comedy" character. The Autobots need a hard bastard in their ranks. The next movie needs to be more violent.
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As I have said a bazillion times already, lots of absolutely terrible movies (far worse than TF) make millions upon millions of dollars and sell millions upon millions of DVDs, and you cannot attribute these sales to quality. Go check out the current top selling DVDs on Amazon and then come back and tell me why Twilight is in the top ten. Twilight must be fucking great by your reasoning, when in fact Twilight is an anus tearing abortion of a film.
I just read an article that said in January 2009 Mamma Mia was the top selling DVD of all time in the UK, the article said 1 in 4 homes in the UK owned a copy of Mamma Mia. Please explain this to all of us, explain to us how the sales of this DVD prove it's a good/great film, even if just in the UK.
**HINT - DVD sales mean fuck all** -
Blade Runner (one of the reasons it flopped was the lack of support from critics, who dismiss anything sci-fi)
Terminator 2, much praised on here as a "smart" action movie, was derided as dumb by most critics.
Indeed, alot of films now highly regarded got very lukewarm reviews indeed.
One of the critics who has slammed ROTF loved Independence Day. ROTF is Shakespeare compared to Independence Day, which far more stupid than any Bay film. -
Jun 22, 2009 1:41:46 AM CDT
Hairy Nutsack, I said "Ticket sales coupled with DVD sales"
by ganymede3010
Not just DVD sales. And by the way. How much did Mamma Mia make at the Box-Office?
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Had to catch myself from LOL at your post. Sick but funny!
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no one sees movies like this for good movies...they see them because they're drooling sheep. and drooling sheep gots to lose their 10 bucks...
it's science... -
Most people really hated it, I remember except for kids. Seems like that's the case with TF 2
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I feel your pain. Truly. No irony or sarcasm intended.
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Ticket sales or DVD sales or any combination of the two, as I have said about BOTH already, mean absolutely nothing and reflect only one thing, people bought a bunch of tickets and/or DVDs.
And Mamma Mia made over 600 million at the box office, 400 million more than Braveheart, which is the better fucking film? -
'cause all the other Bob Orcis are just imitating. So won't the real Bob Orci, please shut the fuck up?
You caused our pain Borci.
The only way you could feel our pain, is if a dog pissed on your leg or a giant robot said "My bad". -
How many times do we have to go over this? If Momma Mia did the numbers you listed, then it's a good fucking movie. You know why? Because it connected with it's targeted demographic. Despite how ridiculous you or I assume it is.
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"The only way you could feel our pain, is if a dog pissed on your leg or a giant robot said "My bad"."
All of the above happened in my mind before I tortured you with it. -
At least now I know which hack to blame;-).
Nevermind, you don't need to actually progress to be a good writer one day. Why should you?
You can make shitloads of money writing a movie about characters you have no respect for, for an audience which you have no respect for, then retire by a beach.
Nice work if you can get it Borci! You should give me a job. I'm a hack too. -
Hacks unite!
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I'm actually a very talented, but financially poor writer. I wanna be a rich hack instead.
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I don't know if your soul can take it...
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I tend to buy the DVD. Obviously if a bunch of idiots see Transformers and actually like it, won't those same idiots then buy the DVD.
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Ooooh, burn!
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Are both rubbish films.
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I'd simply devour the souls of millions of kids who won't know what Transformers was really about. Or I'd get Bay to fill my soul with cocaine.
Failing that, I'd just sit in the dark, burning my money & cackling.
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And how do I tell all the kids I know?
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Simon Furman, Bob Budiansky, Nick Roche, Shane McCarthy and others have all done it.
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.............and shit.
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And I bet it's on a lot of the shelves of the people that posted in here.
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I was joking in my last post, but there have been some amazing Transformers stories. Some of the comic books were about as intelligent as any graphic novel out there.
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Doesn't mean it has to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
If that IS indeed the real Bob Orci, I was just teasing a bit, I actually didn't mind the film so much. It had parts that I liked, although it wasn't the Transformers movie I'd like to see.
I do wonder however, what is a writer's job, if the finished film is just a bunch of set pieces? -
Doesn't mean that the studio's should foolishly appease them.
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"I do wonder however, what is a writer's job, if the finished film is just a bunch of set pieces?"
The job is different on every gig. The set pieces in this movie were in our outline before the writer's strike because we knew that production would not be able to make the date unless we generated that first. Ultimately, there are no rules when it comes to making a movie... the writer's power is different on each movie and it is based to a large degree on the writer's power of persuasion over the bank and the director. -
"I do wonder however, what is a writer's job, if the finished film is just a bunch of set pieces?"
People think the screenwriter just does the dialogue or something, but if you're really doing your job, you are coming up with the structure and the THEORY of what the movie should be. -
Thanks for such a genuine reply after I'd teased ya! I just wanted to find out if you were the real Bob Orci.
I actually said at the top of the TB that I didn't like all of it, but I enjoyed it for what it was, a summer spectacle movie. & you do have Prime's voice down to a tee!
I really am a writer too, so I'm genuinely interested in that kind of stuff. It's all stuff I'm gonna need to learn if I'm ever gonna make a living out of it. Plus, you get kudos 'cause Star Trek was fucking good!
Of course, if you aren't the real Bob Orci, I just made a massive tit of myself:-). -
Of course it's me. Have you ever heard of anyone impersonating a hack writer?
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Which ones are worth taking a look at and in what order ?
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You might have a point;-).
You're not a hack man, you should know by now that we TBers can be a grouchy bunch.
The fact is, you earn a living doing what I wanna do & haven't yet achieved,(albeit with a few more bodily function jokes). I'm in no position to call anyone a hack.
& like I said, Star Trek was good!
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Jun 22, 2009 2:51:17 AM CDT
Bob Orci is laughing at us while he rolls on piles of cash
by lockesbrokenleg
Life is good. ;)
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Jun 22, 2009 2:51:29 AM CDT
"Have you ever heard of anyone impersonating a hack writer?"
by ganymede3010
HAHAHAHA!
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You impersonate a hack writer pretty well.
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I don't blame you for the film. I blame Michael Bay. The actors admitted they ad-libbed most of the dialogue, he can't cut to save his life, and the action scenes are always shot incomprehensibly. You've got no chance of succeeding with that in mind.
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I'm gonna write a screenplay called "Hacked off".
The tale of a man with a magic pencil, who uses said device in his job as a writer on movies about really big toys.
One day, he loses both his pencil & his thumb in a freak masturbation accident, which renders him hacky.
He's given 2 days to get his writing skills back before his coke-fueled megalomaniac director dips his feet in red matter & kicks his children's teeth through the back of their heads. -
Needs a motorcycle smashing through a flaming building.
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A motorcycle smashing through a flaming building...and into the window of a Harrier Jump Jet, flown by a Ninja.
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Jun 22, 2009 3:45:53 AM CDT
I think all the people complaining about the action scenes
by michael_bay_rox
being confusing are just a tad slow. The genius Michael Bay made the scenes as he envisioned them , unaware that you mortal beings do not possess the brainpower to process the awesomeness fast enough.
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1) "Only idiots hate the Transformers" Well, I hated it and I think I am far from an idiot. You can like it for all I care because film is a subjective medium, but with a statement like that I just have to say: FUCK YOU! Ok, angry rebuttal part over.
2) Regarding Mama Mia, you said you know it is good because "it connected with it's targeted demographic." Sorry, that doesn't necessarily make it good. I mean, Hitler had million of Germans fall in love with him, but does that make him a "good" leader? The handling of the Russian invasion would say no, just a popular and charismatic one. By your logic Citizen Kane sucks because it didn't have an audience when it first appeared.
Once again, you can like any movie you want, I don't care - but just because something is popular doesn't make it good or vise versa. Many people can have valid criticism about Transformers -just like you can have valid reasons for liking it. Lets just not reduce this thing to a simple black and white litmus test on film taste credibility. -
really demonstrate everything that is wrong with Hollywood filmmaking today.
Never mind, not long til Avatar, a story conceived and written by the director, who then goes on to invest years of his life into ensuring the movie is as good as it can possibly be. As opposed to knocking off any old shit in a few weeks. -
Can you think of one memorable line of dialogue or cinematic moment from Star Trek? It was utterly vapid.
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lost the argument :)
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I want to know who's idea it was to put balls on Devastator? Who's brilliant fucking idea was that? Or the little robot that humps megan Fox's leg? Or all the fart jokes? Or Skids and Mudflap? They're basically the equivilant of Jar Jar Binks from the Phantom Menace. Are you going to take responsibility for those ideas or pass them off to one of the other two writers?
And I was not a fan of your Star Trek movie either by the way. -
Jun 22, 2009 5:13:05 AM CDT
the entire opening sequence of Star Trek was memorable
by michael_bay_rox
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Michael Bay is the man. How many other dvd's do you own really test your big fuck off LCD screen and booming 5.1 system like Transformers? None! My favourite filmmakers are Lynch, Kubrick and Woody Allen, but when it comes down to it, I can't really get much out of my home theatre system with these directors. Hence, that is why I love caviar AND cheeseburgers. It's important to have a bit of yin and yang or you'll never enjoy anything! Lilya-4-ever is one of my all-time favourite films but it is fuckin' depressing! I can always rely on Michael Bay to help me escape dull reality. Well, that's when I'm not fuckin' high on acid...! Every shot in his films is beautiful and fantastical, you've got to admit. And his quality control when it comes to CG destroys every one elses, just ask Peter "Fuckin' shit Olyphaunts" Jackson. Peace.
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I'm ashamed to say it (because of his name), but Michael_Bay_Rox beat me to it. I agree with him that the opening sequence was great & very memorable.
Also, while I'm a Star Trek fan & didn't really wanna watch the Muppet baby version, I think the way it was done was better than I expected.
They were gonna go with a re-vamped Star Trek regardless of the fans views, so to do it such a way that it appeals to kids, yet the original timeline still exists, was pretty clever. It makes sense & keeps the purists happy (despite the fact that in reality the old version looks to be over).
Besides, I was a prick to Bob Orci. I enjoyed it to be honest, but then I felt I can't very well keep calling him a hack, when he's a succesful writer & I'm an aspiring one. -
But you like Michael Bay movies.
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Two retards.
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I thought the opening sequence was like being hit over the head by a hammer. But subtlety doesn't seem to be a part of JJ Abrams cinematic vocabulary. The score didn't help matters either. And don't feel bad about calling Bob Orci a hack. He is.
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I haven't seen TF2, but if its anything like TF1, it will be a neat looking disappointment with a couple'a of cool action sequences. The saddest thing about this whole deal is that it COULD have been great. I recently picked up the olde cartoons on dvd, and yeah, they are largely a mess, but they're also a BILLION times better than the live action crap. I don't understand why they didn't just directly adapt the original comics and cartoons. As it stands, what we have is cool efx, a handful of cool action sequences, and a yawning canyon of emptiness threatening to swallow my nerdsoul. Such a waste. Oh well.
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Please stop taking massive dumps on source material (re-imaginings) like Transformers and Star Trek, etc. It is with amazing disrespect and hubris that you think that whatever you come up with is automatically better than what already was canon, has stood the test of time and the fan desire for said subject being what got the project greenlit in the first place. Or are you not up to that challenge?
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I heard that Bay is quitting this franchise
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Jun 22, 2009 6:35:42 AM CDT
So after all of the above how is it doing in the box office so f
by ballbag
...Playing in only two key foreign markets, Paramount's "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" from director Michael Bay nonetheless premiered at No. 1 on the international circuit during the weekend, rolling up $20 million from 846 locations.
The sci-fi action sequel to "Transformers," Bay's 2007 smash that grossed $389 million overseas, opened at No. 1 in the U.K. ($14.1 million from 517 screens) and Japan ($5.8 million from 329 sites).
The explosive saga of shape-shifting robots, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, outperformed the original's opening weekends by 71% in the U.K. and 13% in Japan, according to Paramount. "Revenge" is set to open worldwide Wednesday.
The Michael Bay-directed sequel opens in North America's conventional and IMAX theaters on Wednesday, June 24.
Hmmmmm....I have a feeling that this talkback boycott of Transformers 2 isnt going to go so well is it?
Simple fact is, while all the nerds on here moan and whinge about a popcorn movie based on a cartoon, normal people are going to see it in droves! Are they retarded? No they just want to see a fun movie.
It must be so rage inducing being a tf2/Bay hater spending so much time out of your lives on here trying to spoil the movie for others while the movie just keeps on clocking up the massive takings! Ahhhh from now on Im just going to come on here to watch you haters get more and more angry hahahaha! -
Remember when the first Transformers came out and Bay personally wrote open letters to the critics who gave it a bad review?There's no way you could argue with logic: the only thing that matters is money. Transformers had strong openning weekend with a 2.13% industry standard sneek-in factor and 35% of tickets bought online using a major credit card combined with upswing on the overseas sales of promotional Pepsi cans and a growth in stock shares in the fabric used to make cinema seats with an average viewer committing to the 3% likleyhood of a re-view and downloadable e-view experiences estimated at a whopping $30,000 US (converted into Euros then into Yen then gold) in domestic matinae viewings making it the highest grossing movie based on Transformers ever to have its first showing at 8:45pm and THEREFORE A GREAT MOVIE!
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....your review is still one of the worse reviews Ive ever read on AICN. In fact you cant really even call it a review, it just comes across as a random misguided rant from a person who is clearly not happy. I feel for you buddy. No I do. Not really.
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Bay's not going anywhere. He may do a movie in between but the money is too great to say no to part 3, plus he won't want to piss off Spielberg.
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I like Vincenzo Natali. I reckon he's orite. That vault in Cypher was beautifully designed. Am I slow in pointing out that animation of Harry's head is from one of Natali's films?
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I dunno what to make of it tbh, i sat there through large chunks of it wondering when the story would actually kick in, when the pace would increase and when i would actually care for anything happening on screen. Thankfully about halfway through the movie it began to ramp up but that was already well over an hour into it. The first hour has the odd action sequence, as said before youre just thrown into it straight from the start, but it has no real context, no real reason, it just sorta happens.
The movie as a whole, when it does kick off is fun, it measures upto the original, but its so hurt by having to endure the start of the movie that it feels like a worse movie. So much of the runtime could have been cut without losing anything, the twins weren't quite as painful as i thought they would be, in places their dialogue was painful, in places their quips worked, better than jar jar but not by much. Also with so many bots on show, you easily loose track of them, they just keep randomly multiplying and are relatively easily dispatched of which cheapens everything. The likes of RC has 2 lines in it, and you see "her" for all of 2 seconds standing still while she delivers lines. It just felt like a real waste of some of the characters.
I'd still rank it above terminator, at least it didnt feel wholy empty and didnt particularly go out of its way to shit upon anything that has gone before it. -
yyou wont beleve how awsome this newer movie off michel bay is !Is awsomist movie i ever, saw .Relly you wonnt have any frends if you hasnt seen it so go and see it then becase its best actoin movie and the affects are most amamazing ive ever saw in myy whole live .!
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yyou wont beleve how awsome this newer movie off michel bay is !Is awsomist movie i ever, saw .Relly you wonnt have any frends if you hasnt seen it so go and see it then becase its best actoin movie and the affects are most amamazing ive ever saw in myy whole live .!
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thats soretarded !
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Jun 22, 2009 8:20:27 AM CDT
GO TO SEE TRAMSFORMERS2 OR I WILL PUNCH FUCK OUT OF YOU !
by petergrifin
Im intiteld to my opinon !is the bset mvie i ever saw and bertter than all of your best movies !
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Jun 22, 2009 8:24:19 AM CDT
THIS DeSERVE TO BE MOST MONEY MAKEING MOVIE EVER iN WORLD !
by petergrifin
TRansformer2 shoud be most sucessfull movie, ever made and much more than dark night did in 2008 did wich was not as awsome movie as this movie is !noway near !
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Jun 22, 2009 8:29:58 AM CDT
GO TO SEE TRANSOFORMERS 2 OR I WILL THINK YOUR GAY THEN !
by petergrifin
you has to be ,gay not to like or actully LOVE transformers 2 !its best movie at esplosion and actoin and the storys of it is amazing becase it carrys on first movei story so you still see Sam and optamus prime and all of the rest of transormers so dont be fag and see thjis movie then or else !
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face to face i will punch ,fuck out of them for beinng so retardeed !its not possable to not love newer transfromers movie as it best movie ever made in the world then !
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Might check this one out!
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JUst shut fuck up anout it if you dont want me to, punch fuck out of you theen !i am sick of readingg all the nasty things !dont say it any more !you will go an d see tjhis movie or else !do you undestand retardds ?
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Just how exactly do BobOrci's posts prove that Hollwood is in a shit state today? Is it the part where he says the writers' job is different on every movie, and sometimes its just providing a blueprint? Because his posts are actually pretty self-deprecating and humorous and there's nothing wrong with that.
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Jun 22, 2009 8:45:23 AM CDT
I acn't believe you care about this Shite. DRAG ME TO HELL ....
by nodiggity
... is still in theaters. If you haven't seen it yet, you are committing a crime against cinema and deserve to be dragged to Hell, just as Michael Bay does.
Join the "Drag Me To Hell" talkback!
http://tinyurl.com/ll7s4p
http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/40453
(remove the AICN-inserted spaces) -
Punch me in the face? Fuck you. And fuck you again for using 'retards and gay' as an insult. Fucking sack of dick-cheese!
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Learn to spell, you fucking basement jockey.
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Not that I let anyone else influence my opinion, but let's revisit the RT argument in a week or so, once the masses have seen it.
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you has to do what your told and im telling you , to see this movie so its most sucessfull movei ever made !do you undestand you idots ?
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..you should be choked 'till unconscious...you're a useless sack of dog shit.
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But I want to kick the fuckin' CUNT out of 'petergrifin' for the most atrocious spelling I've ever seen on the internet! His head-rod must've fuckin' bent out of shape so he's hitting the wrong keys: That can be the only explanation!
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i am tranformers 2 and 1 bigest fan !transformers2 is best moviee ever made ,and i am intited to my opnoin so just shut fuck up and go and see tramsformers 2 like i told you !
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i am tranformers 2 and 1 bigest fan !transformers2 is best moviee ever made ,and i am intited to my opnoin so just shut fuck up and go and see tramsformers 2 like i told you !
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everee1 who hated it or culdnt make sense of it proberly sat too close to the screen thats all! Or thier old men who wuld rather be watchin the boy in the strip payjams if u kno whut i meen. noisy movies make them take naps like in front of the telly! hav a good lie down pops youve had a hard day!!!
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its film for all ages and you have to see it few time like 3 time to undestand all it and aslogive it more money to make michel bay make more tranformers movie !do it ass holes or i will punch fuck out of ,you if i ever see you then !
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Do you share a brain?
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Bullshit - that means you would have spent 14 years in school learning how to spell. And type. And develop taste. As for the punching thing, that makes me laugh.
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He's mudflap Im skids so bite me then bite him!!!!lolz!
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If people were taking you seriously, I'm sure you could find someone who'd give you the first punch.
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At least the homophobic jokes are making sense.
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I am the lox in a Shia Anton bagel so go 'milk' your cause somewhere else!
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I been seen a grate movei! it call tarnsfromers two and it soawesome!!! i cantwait see it too manee time thist summers wow i like tio wetch roibot mooovieeerikhsdgkjbuasf ognsdaiufghasdkjvbasdjvksdn aviuasfghiuawfybweniafbsv,mbscvkadsfbvnasdvjndaifuuahsdfaoiufhba fgadf
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and your just jealos .yeh thats what it is !ha haaha !what losers you are becase your so jealos of what greet film transormers 2 is !the only good thing you can do with your life is to buy tickets for transormers 2 so it is most poplar movie ever been made !do it or i will breek your jaw if i ever see you !
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"Godwin's Law (also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies) is an informal adage coined by Mike Godwin in 1990. The adage states: "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches.
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YOU SORITE I AM SO HJEALOUS!!! HHAHAHAHA I LKIKE TARNSNOITROFIJUEFGIERUSGHFI)NUEf giesjkfbsdfouvyjba nfsd,m. fvdsv
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who dont like transofrmers 2 !if you have alredy seen hthe movie then yuou are ok and i dont care about yout hen but if you if you have not seen the movie yet and aslo you wont go and see it then there is somehting wrong with your brain and your a idiot and i will pu nch ,the fuck out f you whne i see you,.!just go and see it becase you has no choise !
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dont interupt with your shit becase no one cares so shut fuck up or i will break your fucking neck !Tranformers2 is best moive and thats what we talking about so dont talk about hitlers ! your fucking retard !
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Jun 22, 2009 9:50:49 AM CDT
That writing "Style" looks familiar!
by elvispresleehorsleyharveyoswaldoprahwinf
petergriffin is Roberto Orci!?!
ROTF IS NOT Shakespeare? No shit? It's not even "Choose your own Adventure" Seriously, it's not even as well written as the original cartoon, which occasionally embraced subtlety and nuance of character.
I'm convinced the TRUE "Fallen" are The IQ's of the hacks at the studio and the morons that pay to see this garbage.
And in that sense the entire summer has been "revenge of the Fallen"
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I WANT SEE TARNSFORMERSSD TOTO OHMGOOD IT LOOK SOOL COOL OTUIKNGJKDDJGOSDGIHSDLKFNDSVOIU DFSv
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CONTINENTALOP just delivered the 1-2 ball pounding thrust straight the fuck up your ass.
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I TINK IT IS DA BESTEST MOVIES OF ALLLS TOIMES!
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You'll break his fucking neck? Awesome. Is that an actual threat of death? Because the FBI would probably love to be sent a copy.
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So STFU and show me some respect boy because I just might be your daddy.
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ME SEEN TARNFARMERS TOO AND IT BEEN SO GOODEE I GOESD WOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! ME LIKEEE MUCH HEAP BIG TIME WOW FUN TIME YEAH OHMGGGG!@!!! I LORVEEE TARNSFARMMMMERESSDFSFS!!!! THEY MAKES HEAD GO HAPPY TIMES!!! HAHAHAAHAH!!! MEEE PUNCH YOU IN BUTT CHEEK YOU KNOW LIKEE TARNSFARMMEROS!!! GOBOTSSS IS STINKEEE POOPOIESS!!!! HAHAHAHAHA@!! TARNAIRYIWUGRIuoewfgeiwubnratwrlcbsfgjxh784oihtc6290g5g3wip456v;l7t.uqhjh35c,jnnnsglt
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Jun 22, 2009 10:16:13 AM CDT
Implants + Blue Eye Contacts + Lip Injections + Hair Extensions
by bignig
Don't forget the caked on makeup and fake eyelashes. Megan have you seen Pam Anderson recently? Thats what you are going to look like in 5 years.
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Jun 22, 2009 10:17:26 AM CDT
B ENOT K ID MOOVEE!!! IT BEEEN B IG MOOVIEE FOR GAROWNUPS!!!
by laserpants
MY DADDY UNLKE GO SEEN IT AND HIM SAYU IT BEEN A GOOD MOOVIEEE FOR GORWNUPS PEE PUL 2!!! OHMG!!!! IT SO G oood MO vWEwww!!! I SEE GIN NEXT TIME YOU TOO ALRIGHT!!!?!@?!?#LwuegfkjeywaB UF;KFWEU7TLCWYP5M8NTO;LI RSTDJN.GOA;; UGL
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So the Grimlock character was based on your Dad, Grandpa, or Mother?
Good morning everyone else. -
How could you see that walking tribute to the finest plastic surgery on earth and not immediately want to molest her I have no idea. She's crazy stupid ULTRA-HOT. That said, she'll be a disgusting old hag in 10 years.
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Jun 22, 2009 10:23:59 AM CDT
Ballbag, TF2 received a 71% increase over TF1 in the UK?
by ganymede3010
Holy fucking shit. That's HUGE!!! Providing that the first one did pretty well in the UK also. That's a truly fascinating statistic. That definitely gives weight to the prediction that TF2 might knock it out the park and gross 200 million in it's first five days. T4 still hasn't grossed 200 million domestic yet, and it's been out for 6 weeks.
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Jun 22, 2009 10:26:24 AM CDT
what a surprise, the aicn pseudo intellectuals don't like tf2
by anomagnus
first and last post
i hope this show rapes the box office, i hope it utterly destroys the competition, just so you bunch of snooty bastards choke on it.
i loved the movie, saw it twice already, will watch again.
you can all cry and moan, and stamp your angry little feet all you want, but this show is making money.
not much you can say or do about that.
I suppose you could post another smart comment here. maybe that'll make a difference.
L.O.L. -
The caps lock guys are probably one & the same...
Prolapsed anus guy is almost certainly Scotsman75 (never denies it either, when he's accused of that)....
Scotsman was shown to be Lobotor with his penchant for giving his phone number & threatening to kill people...
Lobotor is possibly also TITBAG, judging by grammar etc....
Now this Petergrifin character shows up, talks shit for ages, then is suddenly quiet & then BANG!We're treated to the return of the Ball loving freak with the prolapse.
Is it just me, or am I detecting a theme? -
But it's still a super movie. Shia's a little hotty and Bay knows how to get my juices flowing. Bring on the big powerful robots! Wooooooooooo!
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I understand you think you're movie is SO AWESOME! At least as awesome as that uncut Colombian 8 ball you just snorted.I look forward to watching your awesome movie, and hope it manages to be More Than Meets The Eye. It won't be, but I will hope. I just hope that someday, someone comes along and makes a GOOD giant robot movie instead of a mostly disappointing one with some cool action scenes and efx.
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People like you sicken me!
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It's 12:40am. I'm off to bed.
Have fun. Hope being a boring cocksucker works out for you & your prolapse. -
A fucking idiot?
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Gobshite above ya.
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I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?
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That's Michael Bay's justification for making movies. You are insulting his creative vision by discussing the directorial style, story, acting, and special effects. Why don't you talk about what really matters? I personally think what's great about Transformers 2 is that you can buy tickets in advance so that it turns a profit before actually being shown. I love how you can pay with two $5 or ten $1 or 1 $10. Great movie. So profitable.
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A gobshite. Verified by two people.
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Jun 22, 2009 10:47:25 AM CDT
YEAH, I'LL TAKE GOBSHITE OVER FUCKING IDIOT
by edgarwrights_prolapsedanus
Thanks!
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Jun 22, 2009 10:52:23 AM CDT
anomagnus, box office #'s are like kryptonite to the haters!
by ganymede3010
Seriously, it's equivalent to feeding a vampire a garlic bread stick as your water-boarding them with holy water.
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The Dark Knight deserved every penny it made, and more as far as I'm concerned.
Let me ask you something gany, why didn't Iron Man make more money than TF? -
Go watch "Date Movie" or something.
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It simply means that there are a lot of idiots paying to see the film. It's hardly a shocking turn of events. We've always known that there are a lot of idiots in the world. Look at how well religion does for example. But no matter how well this film does at the box office it doesn't change the fact that it's a boring, boring toy commercial disguised as a movie. It's purpose built for idiots who don't have a fucking clue, pure and simple.
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Jun 22, 2009 11:01:25 AM CDT
BE ONE OF THE IDIOTS! GO SEE TRANSFORMERS 2!
by edgarwrights_prolapsedanus
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Not really. Kryptonite has never actually killed Superman, only weakened him. It's not remotely comparable to garlic and holy water.
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Jun 22, 2009 11:04:00 AM CDT
PAY MONEY TO BE BORED! GO SEE TRANSFORMERS 2!
by edgarwrights_prolapsedanus
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It should be up on QSS any minute now. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
But seriously, I have an 8yo son, so of course I'll be seeing it. Luckily for me our local theater has $4.50 matinees. So I and my son together will see it for less than the price all you other schmucks will see it for. -
It's as simple as that. TF had 25+ years of solid marketing behind it. Although Ironman predates TF, no one outside of the avid comic book readers knew much about IronMan. That's largely due to Marvel classifying him a "second tier character. As for TDK, very overrated. The only thing memorable about that movie was Heath Ledger. I thought IronMan was a much better film. Robert Downey Jr can act circles around Christian I'm to cheap to give my Mother and Sister money Bale.
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The sequel will top $750 worldwide. Easy.
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Jesus Christ, you saw the first Transformers. This is just going to copy the first one's "formula" and give you more of the same shit, in exactly the same amounts. Boring, lifeless, regurgitated CRAP.
Join the "Drag Me To Hell" talkback!
http://tinyurl.com/ll7s4p
http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/40453
(remove the AICN-inserted spaces) -
...I wanna slap every punk I see call TDK overrated. Such a ridiculous thing to say when you're here defending this TF tripe. Are you insane?
As for Iron Man, you continue to maintain that BO = good movie but you refuse to acknowledge that better films should have made more money than TF. That is the logical conclusion to your argument, if large BO = good movie, then gigantic BO = even better movie.
Meanwhile I will continue to maintain that BO numbers mean nothing in terms of quality, whether good or bad. -
For the majority of the normal crowd that saw it, Transformers was a crowd-pleasing summer blockbuster; just the kind of film they wanted to see. It doesn't make them idiots, and so you can't use the argument that if this film makes money, it just means there are more idiots going to see it. You can't say that, just as you can't say The Dark Knight made its money because only smart people went to go see it. Both statements are equally idiotic.
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You know you want it! You don't have a brain to 'check at the door' which is good cause that involves lifting! And lifting stuff up sucks! But think about the hijinks of a Muppets Vs Transformers movie! It could grab some of the devoted legions of fans who dearly love the 'AvP' franchise! And that's like a lot more than 50 people too!Plus..giant robots..lasers and explosions..Ms Piggy...Animal, robo-nads, ex-set-ura. I mean there's just genius written all over that, dudes. Seriously. Dudes.
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I think Transformers is shit, but I'll readily admit TDK is overrated as well. That thing is sitting at #7 on IMDB's top 250. Now, of course, that list is a joke. But still. 7th greatest film of all time? Come on. It had its problems. The sad thing is that the last really good film I saw was "Let the Right One In". There's such a long span in between truly incredible movies. Shame.
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If Heath Ledger wouldn't of died TDK would of made half of what it did. Batman Begins made 372 million at the box-office, considerably less then then it's successor. And for the record. Braveheart is the best film that I've ever seen. Take it how you wish. Meanwhile, I maintain that BO numbers signify that you've connected with your targeted demographic, if your targeted demographic is pleased, they'll reward you with record breaking DVD sales, and even bigger ticket sales once the next installment is released.
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"You can't say that, just as you can't say The Dark Knight made its money because only smart people went to go see it. Both statements are equally idiotic." WIN!!!
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I liked Iron Man, but cmon. TDK was a brilliant piece of cinema; a work of art, really. Iron Man was very fun, and very cool, but it was mostly just a fun little popcorn romp. It all depends on your taste. I can totally understand why someone would prefer the light and funny Iron Man to the UberSerious and brooding TDK.
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Jun 22, 2009 11:57:37 AM CDT
Michael Bay exists because of openning weekend box office
by spandau belly
Or is it the other way around?
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Jun 22, 2009 11:59:14 AM CDT
Oscars should go to the highest grossing films of each year
by spandau belly
Michael Bay is a voting Acamedy member. So why hasn't he pushed sensible policy though?
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"Tummysticks" with Michael Bay!
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Michael Bay and I only go to see movies that open at #1 in the box office. The trick is seeing them while they are still #1 before they fall to number and beget the revenge of the fallen.
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Even though it was visually coherent and paced like an actual movie with decent actors who play actual characters, it is a bigger failure to Michael Bay than Pearl Harbor because it tanked at the box office.
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Take it from Michael Bay, Transformers is a great movie because it made huge money on its openning weekend. Nobody has ever payed to see a movie they didn't end up liking on openning weekend. That's what those other subsequent inferior weekends are for.
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They're right about 10% of the time. Seeing Forest Gump winning over Shawshank was unforgivable. Seeing Tom Hanks when the Oscar for Philadelphia over Kevin Bacon in Murder in the first was unpardonable. I can go on with many examples.
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And good movies that don't make big money are not referred to as "good movies", they called "future re-imaginings of cult classics".
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Spandau Belly, this, is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard on this site:
"Nobody has ever payed to see a movie they didn't end up liking on openning weekend."
Clearly, you haven't figured out why, so here's a little assignment: read and re-read it over & over & over until the light of understanding floods your brain or foam stops dribbling down your chin, whichever comes first. Not that mulling it over is going to make you less of a stupid fucking simian. -
Yet you never see an Oscar getting out of a sports car in slow motion at sundown.
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...I'll spare you. Here's irrefutable proof. I say Indy 4 and Transformers 1 on their respective opening weekends, paid money for both, and disliked them both. So much for your stupid fucking brain fart.
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"Yet you never see an Oscar getting out of a sports car in slow motion at sundown." LMFAO
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Mace13 Jun 22nd, 2009
"I want to know who's idea it was to put balls on Devastator? Who's brilliant fucking idea was that? Or the little robot that humps megan Fox's leg? Or all the fart jokes? Or Skids and Mudflap? They're basically the equivilant of Jar Jar Binks from the Phantom Menace. Are you going to take responsibility for those ideas or pass them off to one of the other two writers? "
Let's see, the balls was us writers, the flatulence and humping was Michael.
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He was speaking from the Bay/studio perspective....I believe.
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I was never bothered about the first pic, watched after seeing the trailer for No 2 and enjoyed. This the sequel did not disappoint. I am massive geek. Watching this movie made me feel like I was 10 again, awesome. One of the geekiest most enjoyable Summer movies ever. After the movie finished I wanted high five everyone on my way out. IMAX next to watch it again, groovy.
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How dare you blaspheme! You've clearly never been part of the all important "openning weekend" when dollars decide what is good and what should have a sequel.You seem like that ancient race of people called "critics" who use words instead of numbers and statistics to say what is good. Go back to the 1920s!
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I'll go away now and go stick my head in the sand. Please proceed.
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Jun 22, 2009 12:20:00 PM CDT
Taken had a shitty Box office opening and it has a sequel;)
by ganymede3010
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Yet you never camera shakers and lense vibrationists honoured during the ceremony. You gotta remember the little people, Bay-O.
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"I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark,"Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you".
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'nuff said.
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Jun 22, 2009 12:24:11 PM CDT
Everything I know I read in an Entertainment Weekly sidebar
by spandau belly
Michael Bay named his first film Bad Boyz after his maternal grandmother: Edith Jane Badboisie.
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To the guy with the PROLAPSED ANUS..."I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, when he made PEARL HARBOR"PEARL HARBOR SUCKS, AND SO DO YOU"!!!
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I don't blame him for my rock and roll dreams not coming true. It was probably my fault, I guess I didn't really really need them enough.
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Cuba Gooding Jr finally got the second unit all to himself. Good on ya, bro!
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i saw it today....jesus...it is a soulless toy commercial of a bad movie....the acting,script,plot....forget about them because they don't exist...the first movie had a nice charm to it, the second is just a mess....do your brain and your intelligence a favor...DO NOT GO SEE THIS FILM!!!!
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it runs on Megan Fox's hair grease.
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Jun 22, 2009 12:48:30 PM CDT
Deak the Geak, you sound like the NYT when they said ESB was hor
by ganymede3010
"The Empire Strikes Back" that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot". " It's not as fresh and funny and surprising and witty, but it is nice and inoffensive and, in a way that no one associated with it need be ashamed of, it's also silly."The Empire Strikes Back" most reminds me of. It's a big, expensive, time-consuming, essentially mechanical operation". "Yoda with the pointy ears and his old-man's frieze of wispy hair, is the hit of the movie. But even he can be taken only in small doses, possibly because the lines of wisdom he must speak sound as if they should be sung to a tune by Jimmy Van Heusen". AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this sounds almost identical to the way the haters bash the Transformers. One thing is for sure, times change but people don't".
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No, really...it's not an opinion. If you disagree, you're simply wrong. Get over it.
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....just a single question. Is American Idol the greatest television show of all time? Is it better, quality-wise than any other show ever made? This is rather where your line of reasoning leads, and it is a bad place. That said, although I didn't like Transformers, I would much rather watch it again (and I have seen it multiple times thanks to my kids) than Wild Wild West, The Avengers, Pearl Harbor (Bey's very worst outing) or a host of other big budget movies that were...worse. I would rather watch Transformers on a loop for a solid month than see the Emmerich Godzilla one more time. So the hate does seem a bit extreme.
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Sometime, in a quieter forum, I will explain (in painstaking, nauseating, pendantic style) what makes the original Evil Dead such a great movie. I probably won't change your mind but I will be annoying enough about it to make you not want to think about it anymore.
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that's why i am so disapointed in this film...this is transformers in name only...Bay has striped the soul out of the characters, robot and human...
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TINO! That is close to Blasphemy sir!
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Jun 22, 2009 1:13:13 PM CDT
Red Ned Lych, by your logic ESB is the worst movie ever!
by ganymede3010
Since you're saying that numbers and statistics don't mean anything but words of the critics do. Here's what the critics said about ESB, almost identical to what the haters are saying about TF's.
More hardware and less whimsy, with a cliff-hanging climax every 10 or 20 minutes and not much relief. If Star Wars was the exposition, this 1980 sequel (the original edition) should be the development, but mainly it's marking time: the characters take a definite backseat to the special effects, and much of the action seems gratuitous, leading nowhere. Irvin Kershner directed the actors this time around, and without the benefit of Lucas's personal affection they seem stiffer, more clenched. With Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Billy Dee Williams, and Anthony Daniels.
"The Empire Strikes Back" has no plot structure, no character studies let alone character development, no emotional or philosophical point to make. It has no original vision of the future, which is depicted as a pastiche of other junk-culture formulae, such as the western, the costume epic and the Would War II movie. Its specialty is "special effects" or visual tricks, some of which are playful, imaginative and impressive, but others of which have become space-movie clichés
You see where I'm going with this. This is the same exact fucking bullshit the haters are pontificating today. History has proven that the critics are always wrong when it comes to SCI-FI movies ahead of it's time. -
Loud but boring.
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Put that quote on your poster and smoke it!
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...you are suggesting I made an argument which I did not. I pointed out to you what the logical extension of the argument you were making would be. In point of fact I am of the opinion that the only true gauge of the quality of a movie is how it resonates over time. If a movie is being returned to in twenty or fifty years that is a movie which has stood the test of time. Until then all we have are our opinions. Yours is as valid for you as mine is for me. Now if you wish to critique what my actual opinion is for the judging of movies please feel free.
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...audiences do not have a very good track record regarding the ultimate value of a movie either. Blade Runner, Escape From New York (pretty much all John Carpenter except Halloween), Cronenberg, I could make quite the list of what are now considered genre classics which didn't make spit when they were released. So, yeah, critics by and large don't like sci-fi/fantasy. And audiences generally like the most accessible and easy to digest material available. And twenty years later you wait to see what the studio execs decide to raid for remakes.
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that's how they should have ended this one with a cliffhanger that leads into transformers 3...instead of just rehasing the ending of the first one.
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I'd just like to point out that ganymede is quoting from ONE review of ESB from 1980, just ONE. The truth is that ESB opened to mixed reviews (positive reviews are also available online if you bother to look), but of course gany latched onto the worst review in the lot just to try and make some kind of incoherent point. Ugghhh.
What's maybe the most laughable thing about this is that gany is actually trying to compare TF to ESB. You got balls kid, I'll give you that.
Too bad those balls are Michael Bay's...sitting on your chin.
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That film is a great example of something that has gotten almost universal praise despite being a clunky, ugly little film that is neither scary nor funny. DMTH's biggest asset is that it has Rami directing the film because had anyone else made that CGI, PG-13 shitfest it would have been panned across the board. My point is that calling people idiots for liking a Transformers movie seems hypocritical considering that plenty of you in here like films such as Grindhouse, Drag Me to Hell, etc. And don't even get me started on shows like LOST and BSG, which are worshiped in here like a religion despite GLARING flaws in their respective executions. While I agree that too much shit gets a pass from the general movie going audience the whole point of Transformers is visual spectacle, which it does quite well. If that doesn't appeal to you personally that's cool but don't act superior just because others get some enjoyment from the film, especially when you guys are watching things that could be argued are equally lacking in intellectual merit.
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Edgar Wright here just letting you know that I've decided to come clean about my blatantly obvious obsession with testicles! I cannot wait to see 'Transformers - Revenge Of The Fallen' and I'm most looking forward to the scene where we get to see Devastator's big metal testicles!
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Then didn't want to make a movie that was just a segway to a future installment that left a bunch of unanswered questions.
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It feels so good to finally come out and say shit like this! I'm not ashamed of who I am anymore! I LOVE BIG TESTICLES!
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Jun 22, 2009 2:45:36 PM CDT
Hairy Nutsack, I'm quoting from 3 reviews, here's the links
by ganymede3010
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/review97/empirestrikesbackmartin.htm
http://onfilm.chicagoreader.com/movies/capsules/3101_EMPIRE_STRIKES_BACK
http://www.nytimes.com/library/film/061580empire.html -
Jun 22, 2009 2:47:33 PM CDT
TRANSFORMERS 3 NEEDS WAY MORE TESTICLES!
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
Give me what I need Michael Bay!
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Jun 22, 2009 2:49:40 PM CDT
I DO LIKE TO PLAY TUMMY STICKS WITH MICHAEL BAY!
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
How did you know?
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If you're looking for more Testicles, look no farther than your rectum and mouth.
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Really? Brave FREEEDOM HeartFREEDOM was your favorite movie?
What was that movie about?
FREEEEEEDOOOMMM
Wait, wha? FREEEDOM
Wait I can't hear yoFREEEEDOM!!!
Wha? Free FREEEEDOM!! Freedom?
FREEEDOM!!!
Oh! Freedom. Gottcha. That dude over there is gay by the way.
Take it how you will of course. -
Jun 22, 2009 2:58:10 PM CDT
I WISH THEY'D SHOWN HULK'S TESTICLES!
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
I was so disappointed when they didn't show Hulk's big testicles in The Incredible Hulk! I had a boner just thinking about them though. Imagine licking Hulk's big testicles. I'd be in heaven.
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Enjoy your tripe, suckers.
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Just don't see this film. No $$$ is the only language Bay & Spielberg understand.
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I was prepared to make another polite-but-tongue-in-cheek reply, but looking at your other post I have decided against that. I realize now that you are a zealot, someone whose diehard faith in Bay is such that he cannot fathom any idea where Bay and the Transformers awesomeness is questioned. Talking to you is like talking to any fundamentalist who keeps recycling anecdotal evidence, ignores facts and hard evidence and refuses to accept the ideas of others because only his narrow world view has merit.
Someone above mentioned McDonalds, which is the perfect example. McDonalds makes a burger that is highly successful - it is a huge seller and moneymaker and popular the world over. It is not, however, a "good" burger. It is not good for you and it isn’t even a great tasting burger. I doubt anyone here in LA would rank a McDonald’s burger above one from the Apple Pan. But by your logic McDonald’s burgers must be the best because they are eaten more than any one else’s. Popularity and quality can be exclusive of each other. Name recognition, availability and marketing can all play a part in why something is popular. So can bad judgment.
Once again, you can like the Transformers and there is no problem with that, but to use popularity and financial success as a barometer (and especially as the only barometer) is just fucking ridiculous. It is up there with the old children’s argument that “Everyone else is doing it so why can’t I?” Well, because hopefully your parents knew better, that just because all the other kids are doing it doesn’t make it good (but the glue sniffing might explain a lot about you).
“I think Transformers is a lot better than you guys think it is and here is why…” is a valid argument bringing in aesthetics, plot and artistic/technical factors into an argument. “Transformers is good because it will make shit-loads of money” is a simple-minded argument, and about as apt as saying the invasion of Iraq was a good idea at the time because George Bush had record approval ratings.
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Seriously, I wish everyone would actually listen to the AICN trolls for once. I hate arriving at my IMAX theater 2 hours early just get a seat in the first 4 rows.
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That's just the way I am. It's the way I'm built. I love to hold a man's balls in my mouth. I love how they taste.
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If you had any doubts about the first one, you can see from the above comments that this one is even worst. Avoid it, or we'll have another one rammed down our throats in a few years.
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Arguing that an idea or product has merit because it has popular support is one of the oldest argument tactics around. It’s also one of the most flawed. Does McDonald’s have the best hamburger because they sell billions? Is a Toyota better than a Ferrari because one is far more common than the other? Is Britney Spears a better musician than Mozart, who you never hear on the radio? The counter-examples continue ad infinitum and ad nauseum.
Why does this occur? My guess is that it’s a confusion between cause and effect. Quality is often, but not always, a cause of popularity. If two products are functionally identical, then the one with better quality should become more popular over time. The problem with this theoretical situation is, well, that it’s theoretical. Two products are never the same. There’s different marketing, branding, advertising, consumer perception of company, packaging, features, design and price. All of these factors, and a few that I’ve left out, contribute to what the consumer will buy.
Even professional journalists can make the mistake of arguing that popularity indicates some inherent quality. Take a look at this article in Forbes about Vista adoption:
The Mac, for all of Apple’s snazzy advertising, has less than 1.6% share of the PC installed base. Linux, for all of the millions of column inches devoted to its wondrous abilities (many of those lines by yours truly), holds about 2.5% share. (All figures are from Gartner Dataquest.) No wonder nobody at Microsoft seems too upset about the bad reviews of Vista. First of all, it’s easy (and fashionable) to talk trash about Microsoft. And it’s all too easy to overlook Microsoft’s achievements, like making operating system software that works well enough and is priced well enough to attract 96% of the world’s PC users.
The article appears to say that Windows XP spread because of the “choice” of customers. Quick question: do you think most people actually choose their operating system, or just get whatever came on their machine?
Did you choose the operating system on your phone? Your TV? Your PDA? For the non-geeks out there, no. You got whatever OS the manufacturer put on there (if you bought it) or whatever your IT department put on there (if your company bought it for you).
So, the real question becomes “Why did the manufacturer/IT department install that particular OS?”. There’s a long, sordid history on this, but there are a few obvious reasons:
* If the computer manufacturer is Apple, they will install an Apple OS which supports their company — their definition of best.
* If your company already runs Windows, the next computer they give you is likely to run Windows. Your IT admin will give you whatever is cheapest to operate, maintain and train you on — their definition of best.
* If it comes from a PC manufacturer like Dell, they will include whatever sells the most and has the most profit — their definition of “best”. Notice that I didn’t say security, features, reliability or user interface. They will focus on what sells the best, and the reason it sells doesn’t really matter (except, perhaps, to forecast what will sell the best in the future).
The question of what operating system is “best” is too general and doesn’t really make sense. Give me specifics: Fastest. Most reliable. Best price/performance. Most easy-to-use. Most compatible. Gimme some details!
Don’t presume that qualities like market share or usage is a direct reflection of end-user choice. Sure, products can become popular because they have the best quality. Or, they can become popular because they have a lot of advertising. Or they have no competitors. Or because their name is first in the alphabet. Or people have inertia and don’t want to switch. There’s a lot of reasons. It’s a fallacy to think that just because something happened/was elected/was decided, it was the “best” decision. Sometimes things just happen. Look at a product’s popularity and ask why.
In the case of PCs, popularity is a reflection of the choice by the providers (manufacturers) and the people making the purchasing decisions (IT departments). In most cases, users are just along for the ride. The vast, vast majority of operating system sales are made to manufacturers and corporations. Not many people buy Windows off the shelf at Best Buy.
Rewording the article to say “Windows is the best platform for users because it has the most market share, the most applications and is compatible with the most devices” makes sense. Claiming it is the best simply because it attracted a lot of people doesn’t.
Of course, this reasoning may not stop screaming fans from declaring their system the “best” because it is widely used. It will just prevent you from believing them. -
If a summer blockbuster is UNpopular, they won't do another.
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thanks for clearing that up
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or else that would be pretty sad and pathetic if he thinks he is creating art or anything more than lowest common denominator consumption-entertainment that is the biggest cause of dumbing down the culture...
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Look, i've seen this movie. it's an action movie. It's called Transformers right? Well the first movie which had a "human" story, was not what I paid to see. I paid to see transformers. The acting doesn't have to be good, if they're hot, they should be good to look at. If you could've just showed me 2 hours of scenes of Robots blowing each other it would've been great. That's what I paid (or didn't pay in this case) for and that's what TRANSFORMERS is. I don't get why people expect their summer movies to be good. It's always a suprise, and here and there you'll get a STAR TREK or a PUBLIC ENEMIES, but TRANSFORMERS is just like G.I. JOE, it's supposed to look cool and that what it is (subject to your opinions). It never said it was DOUBT.
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Jun 22, 2009 3:27:15 PM CDT
AS LONG AS THE MOVIE HAS GOT BIG TESTICLES
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
I'm watching it. I'm a testicles addict. All day long I'm thinking about other men's testicles. I love how they look, how they smell and how they taste when I'm holding them in my mouth.
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A couple of guys here keep insisting that if a movie makes a lot of money it must be good.
Transformer_Apologist = Public Service. -
The reason is that when people tend to like what other people like, differences in popularity are subject to what is called “cumulative advantage,” or the “rich get richer” effect. This means that if one object happens to be slightly more popular than another at just the right point, it will tend to become more popular still. As a result, even tiny, random fluctuations can blow up, generating potentially enormous long-run differences among even indistinguishable competitors — a phenomenon that is similar in some ways to the famous “butterfly effect” from chaos theory. Thus, if history were to be somehow rerun many times, seemingly identical universes with the same set of competitors and the same overall market tastes would quickly generate different winners...
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Yes, YOU. The guy who wrote 'I don't get why people expect their summer movies to be good'. I'm tired and I can't tell - are you joking? I think you are, as you have at least heard of DOUBT. But fuck, you scared me there!
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Poster A makes a statement about subject X. (money equals quality, Bay is great, ROFT is great,)
Poster B refutes said statement.
Poster A responds with a statement about subject Y.
Poster B is dumbfounded.
Poster A claims victory -
Yeah, a building that turns into a robot. Starring Tom Hanks!!!
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...this is the most HYSTERICAL fucking TB, ever. Fuck the movie. THIS is where the REAL action is! Laughed myself silly 'til I shat out that bacon, avocado, and apple pizza I ate, last night...
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Never heard of it. Look at all the posts! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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"The grievances that you're crying over take up less then 9 seconds of screen time. It really shows how shallow, humorless, and petty you truly are." -
I love it. Whether they are merely ignoring logic to avoid admitting that they are wrong or are truly too moronic to be able to read and comprehend how they are being proven wrong- it's still a BLAST to read it! Way more entertaining than TF2 is going to be, anyway.
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Grown men shouldn't play with toys!
Huh!?
You are trying to pass off two seperate quotes from reviews as being originaly written in 1980. Yet one of them clearly references knowledge of the 1997 special edition. And the other notes in past tense sci-fi movie cliches that originated with ESB. And a third "quote" that is a jumbled mess of cherry picked scentences from at most four different sources taken completely out of context.
As if that wasn't fail enough.
You somehow think the (falsely presented)words of professional film critics are represenative of what Star Wars "delusional fanboi's" were saying at the time!!!
Are you on crack!?
Muthafukka! I was there opening day for Empire Strikes Back! Where the f*ck were you!?
Fail. -
When did we see the Wampa's balls again? That and I missed the part where R2 humps Leia's leg.
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DIS IS LIKE THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIMES, AND SHIT! I'M GONNA SEE IT AGAIN!
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Jun 22, 2009 4:18:12 PM CDT
Just got off the phone to Michael Bay...
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
..he kept shouting "Robot balls!" down the phone whilst playing Aerosmith at top volume. And then he blew up his phone! And then he sent a SWAT team to blow up MY phone!That guy is fucking EXTREME!
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"There are a lot of flaws to overlook... But even with all of the flaws, I can find something to like about the TF movies. (Or at least I hope I can with ROTF)" LMAO
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The twins can't read? They're robots, they process data, its what they do. I don't mind a little silly humor every now and then, but it has to be funny and justified. Otherwise its just lame.
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You say that 'the whole point of TF is visual spectacle' and I guess that is the point of the 'haters' (of which I am one). I think that a great summer blockbuster can be MORE than that. I want to be genuinely excited (not just deafened), I want to laugh (so I'll need more than racial stereotypes and innuendo that a 10 yr old would think stale), and most of all I want to be lost in the movie, to be thinking WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT! For this to happen, I will need good characters and and interesting goddamn story with some real drama. TF does not provide this. So, the reason us 'haters' get so worked up, some of us anyway, is that Bay is part of a movement that seems to be heralding the death of storytelling in movies - the art of being able to tell an audience a story over two hours and to have them completely enraptured. Isn't that something worth getting worked up about?
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One day, films will be so bad that people on this site will be writing: Hey, if you go in their expecting Bay you'll be disappointed.
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What happens when you religiously tell yourself that a movie is going to be great for two years.Then you start to realize that it is not a good movie? You feel dumb about defending and apologizing for that movie for so long. You have brainwashed yourself so completely and thoroughly to the point that all logic and reason vanishes. Fanboyitus is a deadly disease.
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And that's all that matters to me. I'm addicted to testicles. I can't stop thinking about them.
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All the robots should have testicles! That would be a dream come true for a testicle lover like me.
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http://tinyurl.com/r4tmtp
"C'mon guys critics? Give me a break. Do you all have short term memory? They killed the first one, and it still became a world-wide smash. I made this for the you, the audience!" Bay ...if they didn't have short term memories...they wouldn't be your fans.
http://tinyurl.com/r4tmtp
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Despite the sage advice of Kurt Lazarus, it looks like we are going to have to go "full retard" to truly appreciate what this film has to offer.
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I love them. I love big testicles. The way they smell, the way they taste, the way they feel when they're in my mouth. Maggie Gyllenhaal frequently has sex with her father Stephen. I love big testicles!
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Isn't that the TF franchise?
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Michael Bay said he likes your Moms Balls better than yours.He said they are bigger and less dessicated!True Story!
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amid ever growing interest, T3 to feature Full Frontal Robot Nudity!
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Jun 22, 2009 5:23:09 PM CDT
I LOVE THE SMELL OF OTHER MEN'S TESTICLES
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
BUT I LOVE THE TASTE EVEN MORE!
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T3 Female Robots will get their TITS OUT.Because YOU demanded it!
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If you think the sex scene in Team America was Outrageous, wait till you see what I have my Rovots doing in T3!
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T3 will be filmed with "Smell-O-Vision so you will be able to taste the Robots Balls.You know who I mean!
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If that were true then by extension, Paul Blart is a work of friggin' art.
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Because even the CG creations want to jizz all over anyone who'd pay to see this.
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Watchmen - big blue cock
The Hangover - shriveled, Asian cock
TF:ROTF - Devestator cock
I can't wait to see motion-capture, alien cock in Avatar
BTW: Did anyone notice Schwarzenegger's cock in The Terminator? It's pretty unavoidable. -
...and Texas Teabagging. Yeah, if I did have kids? I wouldn't take them within a thousand miles of this utterly inane, positively appalling cash grab of a movie.
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Jun 22, 2009 6:16:37 PM CDT
It is sad and funny at the same time to see so much idiotic hate
by ganymede3010
It is sad and funny at the same time to see so much idiotic hate.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -
...And no way in Hell am I gonna pay for this vacuous mind-melter. I absolutely refuse to turn my brain off ever again. Except for tequila night, when you don't really have a choice.
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Jun 22, 2009 6:23:00 PM CDT
And holy **** I hope Trannyformers Apologist dies here soon.
by ganymede3010
What a friggin Boner. AHAHAHAHAHA
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Jun 22, 2009 6:23:09 PM CDT
'And holy **** I hope Trannyformers Apologist dies here soon."
by ganymede3010
What a friggin Boner. AHAHAHAHAHA
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Trannyformers Apologist had the time to type that rant against a popcorn flick that no one claimed was Oscra-worthy in the first place...dude, seriously? I mean...seriously?
No offense, but get a life. I see you on every single Transformers discussion on this site. Smoke a fatty, get a hummer and relax.
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you need to change your dribble bib
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...then stupidly say JJ's Star Trek is the best Star Trek film. Better than Wrath of Khan? Anyone who thinks its better than Wrath of Khan is either ignorant or has bad taste.
Alot of critics say Transformers can't be a smart movie because its "based on toys".
Unfortunately, Bay thinks the same way the critics do. Indeed its precisely because alot of people in Hollywood think like the critics (all science fiction is dumb, and if its smart its just too much hard work).
That's the irony, the critics who slam Bay actually think the same way he does. -
That cunt was funny.
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ROTF now streaming online LOL
Free laughs -
That's why the Oscar statue has such shiny cleavage.
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cuz that's where a lot of Hollywood has done hard time.
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Any movie that makes that kind of movie and five sequels are not immediately filmed in one shoot without a script is a piece of shit and you all know it.
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His movies bring the experience of being on cocaine to poor people who can't afford cocaine such as those in countries that produce his cocaine.
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is better than a spread of Meagan Fox's legs anyday. Ask Michael Bay, he'll tell you.
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And he doesn't have his rapier. I'm so confused.
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More people will see Transformers than will vote, so make Michael Bay President already. He'd shake North Korea's camera and lense-flare Iran back to the stone age.
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Trannyformers_Apologist is right, it is already streaming online!
I'm sick of arguing about this trash, you guys have fun. -
Okay, if Bumblebee talks at the end of Transformers, how come, at least according to the trailers, he's turned into Boo Radley again. And Shia's like "I'm not taking you to college." like he's some pet or something. Look, (and Spandau you're my OLEG bro and all), I liked the first one, it was a fun popcorn flick. It's not supposed to be Citizen Kane. Sure there were some things I didn't like but I'm no movie maker. But, I don't need urinating robots,and I was angry that Frank Welker got shafted. But anyway this is Transformers, not Iron Giant. Bumblee is a warrior, not some nerds giant robodog on a leash. If you're going to go that route, at least give us Dinobots.
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Still dont know if I wanna waste my money on this or just watch it online what do you all think????
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...has awful editing that would make even Mikey Bay blush.
Even Nolan has been guilty of "I can't see what the fuck is going on" fight scenes.
To single Bay out is wrong, as alot of directors do it. Its a lazy way to avoid having to choreograph the scene properly. -
I bet the Paramount execs are shitting themselves.
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I don't like the TFs being portrayed as pets either. One of the things that I love about the Transformers (especially the comics) concept is that it does not portray robots as pets or there to amuse humans. Bumblebee should have been portrayed doing his own thing then coming to Sam's aid.
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who's thinking that way. In the cartoon Spike was Bumblebee's buddy. In the comic, (and I could be wrong, I only read a few issues) the guy's name was Buster, and again Bumblebee was no beotch. What was Shia's character's name? Oh yeah, duh, Sam, you just said it. But yeah, Autobots make lousy pets.
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The TB'er 'PeterGrifin' can't even spell his name right! BWAH-HAHAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's quite amusing.
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...a little story at the beginning where Sam and Mikaela are having problems and he is having difficulty saying how he feels and his mate Bumblebee goes and speaks to her on his behalf. Would have preferred that to the "my pet Autobot".
By having Bumblebee not speaking that limits his role in the relationship. Spielberg's whole "boy and his car" thing is to blame for that.
However, I did like the bit where Tyrese said "we have shed blood and metal together". That was much more like it. Transformer/human friendships were pretty much between equals (as all good friendships are) in the cartoon and comics. -
I watched the first movie on DVD. It's not as bad as I remember (which isn't saying much, just that it's easier to watch on a small screen), but there were some truly dreadful moments..
Examples (just the ones I remember right now):
"No no no no no no no no" (virtually every single scene of the movie)
"Oops" & "My bad"..just not Prime at all. Stupid.
Bumblebee et al, heading to the city with an armoured escort supposedly protecting them..which then proceeds to do nothing at all when a truck & bunch of other vehicles (which are previously unfamilar to the military guys), suddenly slam on the breaks & pursue them. You could argue it would interfere with the pace of the film if there was confusion etc & it served the film to have it just accepted & move on. But in that case, you could argue it would be better to just think up a different way to get them all together. Just takes a bit more work.
Bumblebee suddenly talking at the end. For no fucking reason.
Best one: Black Jazz is dead...
Optimus Prime: "We've lost a good comrade. Ah well, fuck him, we've got new friends." -
Dude, I was proud of you for calling out Orci until within a few posts you got all googley-eyed over him completely backtracked and gave him a reacharound. Just sayin'.
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Nah, I still think Transformers is ultimately shit & awful writing & I'd say so again. I just realised that I couldn't keep calling him a hack, on the basis that I've done fuck all to merit being too cocky.
It occurred to me that at any moment he could just say "well, fuck you, 'cause I'm a mutli-millionaire with my name on massive movies & you're a nobody."
I wouldn't have a leg to stand on. -
By the fact that I'd called him a hack, said he devoured the souls of kids & told him to shut the fuck up...
Then he anwered one of my questions, really genuinely. I wasn't expecting that, so I felt like a prick. -
There's no way that was actually Bob Orci, I'll believe it when he contacts Harry and has a black box. He's certainly been involved with enough high profile projects lately to warrant it.
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It was probably just some guy having a wank.
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I may jack off to Megan Fox now that I know she's post op. They left one testicle though, for kicks.
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He's been coming here for awhile now and has answered some fairly in-depth responses from time to time. I assume he doesn't have a Black Box is because he has never contacted anyone affiliated with AICN. I have a feeling he likes to come here and gauge the level of discussion surrounding his projects. Considering the level of vitriol, it's obvious that he doesn't contribute much or hang around for any considerable length of time.
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Please try to ignore the strange number of typos in my post. Pull it together, MNG.
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this guy is the epitome of everything that is wrong with movies
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TWO CLUBBED THUMBS DOWN
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ONE CLUBBED THUMB UP.
Right where the sun don't shine, -
I've done plenty of this Talkbacking in regards to the first film, so I'm not gonna spend too much time debating things. I won't sink into using profanity, either.
All I'm gonna say is... while the cartoon (which is mainly what the bulk of the populace remembers) was NOT high art, there is over 20 years worth of Transformers-related lore that could have (should have) been mined and crafted into a decent story that could have (should have) spanned 3 movies or more.
There are constants within all versions of Transformers that came before the 2007 film that should have never been discarded with what seemed to be overall disdain for the previously existing property.
From certain physical design aesthetics, to character traits, to personalities and histories...
Instead, you get a film where the robots are for the most part soulless and bland and only serve to blow things up and turn into cool cars... in between the human story, of course. You know, since we just could never relate to them.
...
Bay regarded the Transformers as alien giants to be feared by humans, where a more creative team would have also conceived the Transformers as aliens in a world populated by smaller barely significant beings whom they did not understand fully.
That is why there initially existed the character of Spike Witwicky. (Pardon me-- "Sam". Ugh.)
He was the bridge between the humans toward understanding these giant robots.
Also, that is why there exists Bumblebee. As the smallest and least threatening of the Transformers, he can interact with humans without inciting fear.
Lastly, the Autobot/Decepticon dynamic could have been portrayed as much more than "Good Guys fighting Bad Guys", and given them better motives than saving a giant MacGuffin cube and now, saving the sun from being drained for... whatever reason these hacks concocted.
If anything, the real threat to Earth should come from Megatron's quest to convert all natural resources on the planet into energy to continue his conquest of Cybertron, which in turn can escalate into having to save other worlds in other galaxies and doing what?: MAKING MORE MOVIES... but with a good story behind it.
A film with a story to tell. A lesson to learn. Something meaningful at the end...
Not just "Whizz. Bang. Boom."
...but of course, to all you anti-haters, it's just a glorified toy commercial and can possibly have no artistic merit.
None of these plastic robot toys can have individual personalities. They're just kick-ass fighting robots!
If that's the case, then we'd all be better off with "Rock Em, Sock Em Robots: The Movie" and it's sequels.
That's about as much as Bay regards the franchise.
...
I think I finally understand what breed of talentless moneygrubbing hacks are making a killing in Hollywood, and who exactly they pander to year after year.
Enjoy your "Whizz. Bang. Boom"-fest, folks.
We, the haters, will be over here shooting for the stars.
Peace. -
You can hate all you want on Michael Bay, Steven Summers and W. S. Anderson but they are way better than Uwe Boll. Now that guy makes boring flicks.
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Some aspects are better handled than they were in the first film. Some are handled worse. The twins are a bit offensive. The forest battle is awesome. I liked the remote control truck-bot. The transforming chick was pretty hot. That is all. And if you complained about the robots not having personalities in the first film, you can't really use that criticism for the second.
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That is all.
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Just because they are a real celebrity does not mean they should get a black box. Nor should they want one. Sometimes its easier to just blend in a bit.
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...is this site going to put up their reviews??? Harry, Vern etc, where are you guys?
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That was very enjoyable. Glad to see it was done right.
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Isn't it obvious? They've taken the King's shilling. Once again.
Maybe not to the extent they did with Star Trek, but at least you aren't gonna see any bad opinions from them. -
And it involves frat boys and tight shirts. Was the only joke in the movie my friends and I repeated and laughed about after the movie had ended.
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...nailed it in one. I salute you!
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I doubt it, since you're already against it, but the fratboy joke I mentioned is at the *expense* of the fratboys. But the fratboys are surprisingly able to quickly retort and that's where the humor comes from. So, my point is, I doubt its like you say- an autobiographical moment- since the joke is pretty anti-frat.
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Seriously. I disliked the Transformers movies, which was not entirely the screenwriters' fault, of course, though they have a hefty share of the blame. Orci & Kurtzman can be hit and miss; more on the 'miss' side in my opinion, but when you get them great collaborators (e.g., Star Trek), they actually churn out work of solid quality. I wonder if Transformers 2 was in any way affected by the circumstances surrounding the strike....i.e., they only handed in a treatment of some kind, which was them fiddled with by Bay.
I honestly don't understand the need to rush projects in Hollywood. Yes, it's a business, but if writers spent longer working on the narrative, the result will almost invariably be superior. Compare the rushed & ho-hum X3 with efforts by Pixar or Chris Nolan. Why did Transformers 2 necessarily have to be delivered 2 years after the first film? Why not develop it until it was fully "cooked"?
Regardless of my dislike for much of his work, I have to give Orci respect for showing up to post here. Especially because this is the most savage and verbally violent group of animals on the net. On other forums, you can exchange ideas and coherent arguments...here, such things are buried under a barrage of vicious insults.
Man, you people are hardcore. Fuck everybody! -
The film has so many deep problems that automobile brand variety is the least of its concerns. Would you be worried about whether you put enough gel in your hair this morning when you have a bullet hole in your chest and are bleeding to death on the sidewalk?
Two words: product placement. That's where the money was, that's how the deal was made. With GM, period.
Yeah, yeah, it would be nice to se a huge variety of cars. But quite frankly, it's an insignificant point compared to other glaring things the film needs added...or subtracted...or totally re-worked. -
"Why did Transformers 2 necessarily have to be delivered 2 years after the first film? Why not develop it until it was fully "cooked"? "
Because, (as shown by the writing & the toilet humour), their target audience was the lowest common denominator, people who lack the attention span to remember a movie less more than 2 years old.
They have to strike while the iron's hot, otherwise the kids they target will have grown up & the idiots won't care about the story anymore.
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...if anyone brings up the point, "hey guys, what if we spent an extra year developing it so we can deliver something truly world class...something that will get the critical AND fan recognition films like Iron Man, Dark Knight, Casino Royale, and Pirates 1 got?"
They will be laughed out of the room, "What're you talking about? There's no need for that! We just come up with something that we consider to be "as good" as the first one. You know, an ok story with lots of spectacle...if we don't have time, fuck it, we'll just bang it out. People are coming to watch it anyway, and they want their big robots fighting! Besides...an extra year will add to the pre-production costs and that might cut into our profits!" -
That's pretty much the case. Not saying I agree with it. Personally, I see Transformers as a wasted opportunity, but that's what it's about: $$$$$$$$$ Ching!
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...something Chris Nolan said about The Dark Knight. Don't remember it verbatim, but he basically said, "The number one mistake we make with sequels is try to make everything bigger, louder. It's the same as last time, just more spectacular, with bigger explosions, bigger effects. The point is to truly advance tha narrative and take it to a different place in terms of story."
Don't these Hollywood types realize that if they take a more careful (and yes, time-consuming) approach, they will transcend the jock-teenager-retard demographic? Otherwise, it's the law of diminishing returns, just like with the first 4 Batman films, until it dwindles and you've killed the goose that lays the golden eggs because you didn't learn from your mistakes. You didn't take things to the next level. You settled.
There's a reason why The Dark Knight made more money than any other movie ever, except Titanic. Don't any of you filmmakers see the causal relationship between its broader, crossover appeal & high quality and its smash success? Yeah, Transformers 2 will make money, but it could have made much more if it hadn't been such a sorely wasted opportunity full of poorly filmed action, bad jokes, and sketchy characters. -
But not as much as I love the taste of other men's testicles. I love to hold them in my mouth. What are you going to do about it? Thank you Michael Bay for giving me what I love most in the world. I love testicles!
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...that becomes painfully evident with this new movie is how horrible the robot designs are. Jesus, such incompetence.
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Not counting the interminable months when you were known as BladeRunnerUnit and Memories-of-Murder.
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Surely that's worth at least some hate from a loser or two, isn't it?
C'mon, just think about it: even more money to the dank, black coffers of Michael Bay!
Let the hate floooooowww through you! -
Does that pointed, feces-encrusted dome you call a head count as a "spike"?
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ROLL OUT!
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You make an excellent point, and you're certainly not wrong. The trick with any Transformers film is that people as a whole expect robot-wars more than anything else. It's a tricky balance between that and a good narrative. I think PJ's work in LOTR serves as the model for how it should be done...
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So long as so many people keep paying money to see this dreck, we'll continue to be spoon fed this overblown overhyped shit. Folks...someone needs to say it so I'll bite the bullet and eat the flameage: Transformers looked good but the acting was rough and honestly, the movie was seriously kind of fucking boring including that absolutely dull climax in the city. I think some people just got excited to see their toys running around so remember it as better than it was. What's next? Micronauts: The Return....Lite Brite: The Motion Picture? EZ-Bake Oven 2: Light Bulb Boogaloo? Seriously....just be honest with yourselves this once and admit it wasn't all that.
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You will see for yourself, from the moment certain characters space bridge to Egypt the film just falls flat on its arse and not even the endlessly funny swearing or crack head robots can save it. The FX are unwatchable and you get the impression that a lot of money just blurred past on the screen.I do wonder if Paramount are in the same mind set as a lot of people and realised spending a lot of money promoting the over done bird would be wasting good money after bad. I mean if you piss your FX budget up the wall on almost cool graphics maybe you deserve an almost cool marketing campaign, seems karmic.
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And so does Michael Bay! This movie will be awesome fun! Not as fun as these TB's but fun regardless.
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This is your first mistake. I realized this quickly in the Star Trek talk backs. These guys don't really care about the properties they produce so it's a waste of time to ask "why this" or "why that." Their movies are sure wins by title and the special effects alone. The quality of story telling is inconsequential and in reality, so are they. Like Akiva Goldsman, Orci and Kurtzman aren't the best writers Hollywood could employ they are simply the ones who'll DO and do quickly. They'll pull the trigger where other writers wouldn't fathom it. They'll say yes when any breathing, thinking creature would obviously say no. So the shit gate swings wide with these guys and you poor Audience will always get a mouth-full for your dollars. No worries though, there will be more then enough people who'll tune in and drop out who aren't even awake enough to notice.
I'll play Devil's advocate for a moment and entertain the argument that what I just said might be a bit unfair. I perceive the excuse that maybe Bob's plate is over-flowing with Fringe and would necessitate less effort on his part to scribe a full motion picture. But really, have you seen that fucker? I find it hard to believe adult human beings, flesh and blood write that show. I mean, a story-telling algorithm would be just as sufficient and it wouldn't sass back neither as much. Bob, you guys in the shop better look out. I just planted the seed.
What I can't understand is why Bob comes around here to mix it up with the fans. It's very bad strategy because I can give him a pass if he's really not taking it serious, although I wouldn't be anymore apt to give him money. It just raises the question, is Bob on the defensive because he honestly believes this is quality work? Was this really the product of three guys with their sleeves up trying to make the absolute best picture they could think of? --Owch. Enjoy your deluge of shit on Wednesday guys!
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Was all the hype around Heath Ledger's performance and the fact that he had just died. That certainly accounted for a lot of the box office with curious filmphiles wanting to check out his last full role.
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Jun 23, 2009 10:52:06 AM CDT
Bayformers 2 doesn't feel like an event movie here...
by zombieheathledger
...in the U.S. because the rest of the world has already seen it. It feels like when you catch the summer hits you missed in October at the $1.99 second circulation theatres that advertise "airconditioned!".
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I understood the plot perfectly. The novel helped a lot though. Looks like the best way to understand the movie is to read the novel before watching it.
Roger Ebert gave it one star, which means it sucks from his perspective. -
Hoffman deserved that Oscar. But Hoffman didn't die.
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...that we've all agreed this sucker will make money. That said, maybe it will make less than last time? Be considered a relative financial disappointment the way, say, Superman Returns was? After all, there are loads of people like me who got suckered into the first one and hated it. Sure, you still have the lamebrained Middle America tards, but the film should still do slightly less.
Maybe it's just mental masturbation, but if the film does underperform vis-a-vis expectations....you can bet Bay isn't going to say, "hmmm, maybe I should examine how I built this film and re-evaluate the way I tell stories." Schlockmeisters Orci & Kurtzman, who judging from what they delivered are clearly in it more for the big payday, won't think, "Wow, I think we blew it...let's actually learn from where we went wrong." Nope. In fact, Michael Bay was already blasting Paramount's marketing department...so I'm sure it'll be Marketing's fault, or the distributor's fault, whatever. Even though the TomatoMeter sits at 34% and the consensus seems to be that the problems of the first part are still very much present, if not exacerbated, here.
Yes, so the Tomatometer isn't the be all, end all...I get that. But it also serves as a pretty strong statistical indicator of something; it shows a clear trend towards 'crap' or some measure of success. This is what the people who argue, "it's just a fun movie about giant robots, man!" don't get. Iron Man doesn't have great depth, certainly not in terms of "being Shakespeare" the way people like to argue here. Yet it sits at 80 or 90 % on the Tomatometer (don't recall the exact figure, sorry). Why? Hmmm....maybe the Transformers jerkoffs can mull that one over? -
To attribute Dark Knight's success to Ledger's death doesn't hold mch water. Ledger was well known, but was never the sort of massive A-list star that would bring people in droves just because they were so heartsick they just HAD to see his final performance. Doesn't it make far more sense to draw a causal link between the things we KNOW for sure and the success of the film, instead of hypothesizing about Ledger's death?
Batman Begins had been very well received, both critically and by the fans. Even people who hadn't seen it in theaters later caught it on video and were pleasantly suprised. So Chris Nolan had built up a lot of credibility and good will with audiences for the sequel. Second, it featured the return of the Joker, who is as iconic as Batman himself. People really wanted to see Joker back in action; they love the big theatrical antics. Third, even many months before he died, Ledger's performance was garnering a crazy amount of buzz, insiders were calling it brilliant, Michael Caine was talking about how unbelievable it was, etc. And finally, guess what, it was a damn good movie. One of the best comic book films ever made, hands down. Easily top three, if not at the top (though some now nitpick at it and try to do a backlash because, I don't know, maybe it isn't hip to like something so popular). Critical and fan acclaim for the film went through the roof...regardless of Ledger's death.
So with these elements in place, why would it not be a total smash success? Sure, media coverage about Ledger's untimely passing gave it some free press, and I'm sure maybe the bottom line may have been impacted by a couple million bucks here and there, but give me a fucking break. It's not as if Ledger had this massive fanbase all across the USA who were going to just show up to pay tribute to him but would not have otherwise gone. I don't know anyone who went because they were dying to see Ledger's last performance or who were so heartbroken they wanted to just see him one last time. That's hogwash. People went because, well, they wanted to see the cool new Batman film with the Joker, had really enjoyed the last Bat-movie, and had been reading amazing reviews. The "oh, they just went because Ledger died" is a hollow post-hoc rationalization. -
Ledger wasn't a massive A-list star, but his name was well known due to A. Brokeback Mountain, B. He was playing the Joker (a role which already had much speculation) and C. He died. I'm not impugning the quality of the film, just mentioning that a LOT of people went because they wanted to see his performance. Had he not died, it probably would have made the same amount. Then again, it may have made less. His performance was made all the more powerful because of his death and people wanted to see it. But you basically did agree with me that Ledger was a large part of its success.
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...I agree that Ledger was a huge part of the movie's success in terms of the peformance of the Joker being fresh & inventive, and garnering a lot of buzz.
But I don't agree that his death was a major factor when it came to raking in the moolah. He wasn't was an A-list star who could draw crowds...there are very few of those. And people didn't go because they were mourning, come on..after the frst few days of shock over his death, nobody really gives a shit, except maybe a handful of teenage girls. Again, his death is being given too much credit in the analysis. If Ledger were such a huge A lister, a larger than life figure that ropes in loads of crowds, why weren't his last few movies very successful? Did Candy rake in the big bucks? Brothers Grimm? Casanova? And I could go on. Brokeback Mountain helped his career when it came to critical praise and peer recognition, but didn't turn him into a massive star with the general populace either. -
I don't know where you are getting that from. My point is that a lot of people heard so much about his take on the Joker, and there were many reports that drew connections between his death and the role, that he went to such a dark place while acting that he needed the drugs he accidentally overdosed on to bring him back to normal. So in that sense, yes his death *did* bring the curious out to see his fabled last performance.
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...there is definitely some overlap between what Vader and I are saying...I think I may have misinterpreted parts of your take on it. That said, I think that his death was a very minor contributing factor and the role had plenty of buzz going for it anyway.
Asimov - thanks, appreciate it. I actually don't think Star Trek is an amazing movie by any means, nor is it especially memorable. But it was quite entertaining and I felt it did its job as a solid, if flawed, piece of entertainment. While it had its share of contrivances & missteps, it didn't pander to the hopelessly stupid the way Transformers does. In the end, I had a good time and found no faults terrible enough to make me cringe. -
...imagining Memories-of-Asimov's-Unit gnashing his teeth while trying to grok Zandunga's lenience towards Star Trek*
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I saw this post this morning but decided to go to bed. 1st thing Gany alway good to see you polishing Bays knob with the hopes a Robotech movie .I hope your dreams come true (and it directed by Uwe Boll) 2nd. petergriffith this guy is proof that retards can be assholes too. way to go buddy. and good ole Bob I just wanted to say I loved Star Trek and could you please get JJ to edit the last 2 minutes out every movie he does, and one more thing STOP WORKING WITH MICHEAL BAY! other then that keep up the good work on fringe.
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I haven't seen it yet, but I plan on seeing TF2 tonite at some point. But from what I have seen so far and the sheer amount of bots to see in the movie I can only assume this one is about the bots. Introducing new fans into some old favourites and giving old fans something they'll appriciate.
My research is based on reading some articles and collecting online trading cards at www.tf2cards.ca - I am more interested in being able to see the characters in full sized glory on the IMAX screen than anything else. -
Yep...
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