Hey folks, Harry here, I'm getting a lot of people that want to know what I think of TRANSFORMERS 2. I haven't seen it yet. I didn't like the first one, but I had been really looking forward to this new one. And I am seeing it Tuesday in IMAX - so hopefully, it'll be better than the first, though certainly that isn't what the reviews are saying so far that we've gotten. Here they come:

Hey harry,

Heres my review for Revenge Of The Fallen. Therapeutic to write, feel free to use it you consider it worth. no hard feelings if not!

Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen

-This Will be a Megan Fox free review, because despite the fact she’s obviously hot, big robots turn me on more.-

A couple of years ago, while in the middle of my animation degree at university, myself and a few friends had a discussion. The question was “who is the greatest hero in all of fiction?” and the unanimous answer? Optimus Prime. He even beat Jesus.

Yes, I’m telling you that so you know where I’m coming from in terms of my love of all things autobot. But that moment also summed up exactly what Transformers is all about; its basic core story is a hero’s tale. Even my own mother would agree that most of my morals probably come more from Transformers than anywhere else. It has simple but effective power, which kids love, and turns adults into giddy 10 year olds.

The first movie, on the whole, did a very good job of expressing this. Yes the autobots looked stranger, complex, and the fights were visually hard to watch, but in my opinion it worked well. The characters were there, with the exact same attitude. Optimus was as moral as ever, powerful, bigger than Jesus. A hero story, supported by the best visual effects id ever seen (apart from, ya know, the Oscar winner for that year ‘Golden Compass’... wow that annoyed me.) One of the big successes of that first film for me was despite feeling huge, Bay didn’t go too far. It wasn’t epic enough to completely lose your bearings on the story.

This time round, the effects are even better, the action is still incredible, Optimus is still a God to me and everything is setup for a great movie. But it isn’t. And it’s taken me a while to figure out what’s gone wrong. And quite simply, its too big of a movie.

I don’t want to spoil the story, so I’m not going to even try and explain it, but one of the main problems of this movie is that there isn’t really any plot for the first hour. Things just escalate without any real direction, things just start going wrong. And it takes at least an hour and a trip across the globe before ANY character seems to know what is going on and why it’s happening. This hurts the movie. It worked in the first one, because it was the origin story. Part of the plot of that film is lack of understanding. Humans are meeting a new race, and we had to face the fear of the unknown as much as we could though the human characters. But this time, everyone is just a bit confused, and one step behind the few character who know what actually is going on.

There is a hell of a lot of characters in this movie, but ironically, its core robot cast actually feels a lot smaller. For a large part of the film you’re focused on 4 human characters and 3 Autobots. Bumble Bee, who still can’t talk (brilliant idea Bay, take the iconic wise cracking character, and make him virtually mute for TWO movies) and two incredibly annoying twin autobots. The best way to express how annoying these characters are is to rename them. Here I go... you’re going to hate me...

The Jar Jar Binks Twins.

Yep, that bad. And annoyingly you see more of these two characters more than any other single Autobot. And honestly this choice ruined the movie for me. Why couldn’t these two extra spots in the main line up be taken by any two of the hundred other characters that arnt really in the story at all? Why not Bumblebee, Ironhide and RC? That would be a real dynamic that I would happily watch. There’s more than enough comic relief in this movie that we really don’t need these two moronic Autobots clogging up the movie.

Fortunatly it really isn’t all bad. Infact, despite how negative I’m being, I did enjoy it. For one reason. Optimus. There are moments in this movie that not only bring back memories of the cartoon, but also of playing with the toys themselves. You’ll know what I mean when you see it, but I don’t think there’s been a more satisfying sequence in the past year for me than the last 20 minutes of this film.

There’s plenty of awful dialogue, the pacing is really bizarre (you could cut half an hour out of this thing, easily) but it is fun. I just miss the characters that don’t get screen time while we suffer the Jar Jar Binks twins. It was an opportunity for us to get to know some more characters, but instead you just want them to go away.

Revenge Of The Fallen is the kind of movie you wish you could have had some input on. EVERYONE I saw this with just wanted the same thing – less laughs, more character. More Autobots, talking to each other. Actually feeling like real characters and not just walking ILM showreel pieces.

I’m going to leave you with a single paraphrased line from the movie. Maybe now you’ll understand why I’m so conflicted.

“I am beneath the enemies testicles.”

If you use it, consider me 'Obscura'

Sounds hopeful right? Here's Lars' take:

Hi Harry never sent in anything to you guys before but haven't seen any reviews for transformers on your site yet so thought i would offer a few words(no spoilers) as i saw it last night. Overall the film is exactly what i wanted it to be, i loved the first for being just a great no brainer action movie and that is exactly what the second is. The special effects in this film are just outstanding, and the interaction with the transformers is amazing and the set pieces are some of the best i have ever seen on film. the highlight of the film is the last 45 mins which is just unrelenting action with at least 25 plus transformers fighting it out in egypt. BUT there is one massive problem with the film and thats the human characters, you just dont care about them in this film at all and you feel like they just didn't know what to do with them. My problem was mainly with Megan fox and Shia Labeouf's love story in the film. They are both excellent in the film and very well acted but they have this on off love story thing that just irritates rather than being sincere. That aside though you are paying your money to see the transformers kick ass and thats exactly what happens ALOT. So overall the film is amazing with some outstanding visual effects work but is let down by pointless love story. if you do use any of this call me bacon ears
cheers

Alright - that sounds fun - here's Kumar, what'd he think?

Hi Harry,

Not sure why it hasn't been reviewed on "ain't it cool" yet but here's my review
----
Just came back from watching Transformers 2 : Revenge of the Fallen at the IMAX cinema here in London
(and am writing this review (my first one ever!) after a few Kirin lagers with a buddy at Farringdon - so apologies if it appears somewhat incoherent at times)

Overall, it rocked.
Specifically, there are 3 aspects of the movie i'd like to talk about

1. The story & characters
2. The action and visuals
3. The IMAX experience

And I'm gonna try and be spoiler-free so as not to ruin it for anyone:

1. Story & Characters
The story really picks up nicely from the first movie and builds on the Transformer lore.
There is the whole Cube thing that we've now all seen in the trailer which ties in nicely with how Sam Witwicky is dragged into the whole battle.
The Deceptions, in particular, are fleshed out really well as is the Megatron-Starscream rivalry.
The Fallen is pretty bad-ass though a little bit under-utilised.
Some neat stuff about Energons which i thought went down quite well.
What was really weird yet cool was the, err.., brutality of the fights - Optimus Prime in particular (if you thought the Bonecrusher decaptitation was hardcore, you ain't seen nuthin' yet)
In the trailers, there were the more goofy robots which quite honestly i cringed at during the trailers but... they do work in the movie, so kudos to Bay and team.

On the human side, well, they are not necessarily superfluous but let's face it, this IS a movie about Giant Fucking Robots. The relationships take a well placed back seat to the aforementioned GFRs.
The obligatory goverment dick-head position previously held by Turturro's Sector 7 Simmons is now replaced by someone else which worked well.
What suprised me the most in the FIRST movie was the humour, which is also here in the sequel and ultimately
that really makes it gel together.
Only (very) minor letdown is the final showdown which I'll discuss in the section below.
Look, it's not The Dark Knight, so do take the story for what it is and you'll have a great time.

2. Action & Visuals
Well, this is mayhem in the manner that only Michael Bay can pull off and it...is... good.
I've not been a big fan of Bayhem previously til Transformers 1 but this is a movie that really deserves it.
Devastator is truly devastating.
The forest battle is most definitely the highlight.
There are a lot of action-packed scenes and all do have a great pay-off.
The opening Blackout scene in TF1 is outdone spectacularly in TF2:ROTF.
The CGI blends so seamlessly that it was truly amazing.
As hinted previously the only minor letdown is the final showdown,
so much happens (Bayhem + Explosions + Shaky Cam) that it is quite hard to follow and as such, the impact is not as great as it could be.
But... tis a minor quibble indeed for the movie is truly a powerhouse, rip-roaring rollercoaster.
The GFRs are animated so meticulously well, one can believe that a 10-ton robot can truly fly.

3. The IMAX experience
I don't think there is a better way to watch this movie but... there is a better than I watched this movie.
In the London IMAX theatre, I sat on row L (which is 11 rows back) and in hindsight even that may have been
a bit too close (next time I'm gonna hit row N)
Like in TDK, it's pretty seamless when it goes to the IMAX fullscreen and it is truly breathtaking to see a life-size Optimus. The rendering is near perfect though I noticed some differences in colour.
However, Bay hasn't really mastered the IMAX format as Nolan had in TDK, in which all scenes were amazing.
So here's hoping that Transformers 3 will be better.

So in summary, if I were to give this movie a one-word review
(as I did in the SMS text message I sent to my bro, Dr. Alf)
I would simply say that it is.... "AWESOME!"

I hope you do use the review (if you deem it useful),
if so please put me down as "The CKP".
Many thanks

P.S One spoiler then - my favorite from back in the day makes a very welcome debut - Soundwave!

CKP / Kumar

Wow - that sounds cool, here's a brief one from Tarn

I had the misfortune of seeing Transformers 2 today.

Stuff that's better than the first movie:

John Turturro.
Kevin Dunn.
The visual effects.

Stuff that's the same:

Shia LaBeouf.
Megan Fox.
Peter Cullen.

Stuff that's worse:

Everything else. Especially the 'funny bits'.

Call me Tarn if you happen to use this! Cheers.

Yikes, well here comes one that really gives one a sinking feeling from Winston84

Hey Harry, just got back from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which has just opened here in the UK and I thought I'd give you a quick review.

What a colossal piece of SHIT.

Seriously, you have no idea what I went through with this movie - it's the closest I have come in my not-exactly-rosy life to actually wanting to die. Let's get this straight - I didn't like Transformers, I don't like Michael Bay and I think Shit The Beef is quite possibly the worst 'rising star' to come out of Hollywood since Orlando Bloom, so I wasn't exactly predisposed to enjoying this movie, but Jesus Christ. This was bad beyond my expectations. The entire movie is basically one enormous action sequence, and Bay does his best to blow up more stuff on screen than anybody has done in the business before him. Only Black Hawk Down compares. Twenty minutes in and I already had battle fatigue. I had seen so much stuff blow up that I just didn't care anymore. The sight of an exploding car/helicopter/fighter plane/aircraft carrier did absolutely nothing for me - I was actually checking my pulse and it did not rise once. Once again proof that Mr. Bay has absolutely no concept of how to stage an action sequence. For all those apologists out there saying 'well, he's not the best director but he sure knows how to action!' I say BULLSHIT. Action is all about choreography, editing and pacing - not about how many explosions you can cram onto the screen. Michael Bay has no idea how to do any of those things. It's just boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-SNORE.

And I'm not even kidding - this is the worst part. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is quite possibly the loudest movie I have ever seen in my life. Constant, constant noise, at such a level that it would wake the very hounds of hell if Michael Bay hadn't already unleashed them on the moviegoing public. And do you know what happened? I FELL ASLEEP. For half an hour. The loudest film of all time and I fucking nodded off halfway through - if that doesn't stand as a testament to how monumentally boring this film is then I don't know what will. I can't praise the effects even though technically they may have been accomplished. I don't care how much time went into creating the robots, all I saw on screen was a bunch of scrambled shit. You know, it might be really hard to animate frame-by-frame a CGI representation of white noise, but that doesn't make it impressive to watch. No sense of awe, wonder or scale in these effects it's just a bunch of STUFF.

The acting was neither here-nor-there, and the screenplay was diabolical. I couldn't work out what the fuck was going on, especially after I missed half an hour of it and then I realised that I actually didn't give a shit. I just wanted it to be over. Watching Shia Le Buttfuck's two little comic relief sidekicks felt like the equivalent of watching a robotic Jar Jar Binks in stereo. Just woefully misplaced humour. Terrible dialogue ('punk-ass Decepticons!') and some appalling sexual innuendo that I found really inappropriate in a movie supposedly aimed at kids. God Megan Fox was such a whore in this movie. Not exactly a role model I'd want for my daughter.

My only consolation at seeing this gigantic shitfest was that I didn't pay for it (work at a cinema). If I had, I imagine I'd have been even more pissed off than I was, and glancing around the cinema during the movie, it was evident the rest of the audience were not in the least bit excited either. Just blank, expressionless faces all around. An apt reflection of such a soulless piece of garbage like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. If anything good can come from this it can only be my being a martyr. I have suffered so that you do not have to. Do yourselves a favour - do NOT go and see this movie. Just say NO. That's the only way you're going to stop the bad men from doing it again. Go and see 'Star Trek' again. We've seen over the past few years that you can mix big-budget with quality (Iron Man, TDK, Star Trek) - we deserve a better class of summer movie. Michael Bay wants us all to lower our standards and accept shit like this. Don't.

Thank you.

If you use this Harry, call me Winston84.

OUCH! Next we have one that makes it sound just ho-hum bad:

Hey guys,
Thought I'd share my Transformers 2 review with your site.

So, this is the IMAX-ed edition of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen here, not the normal one, full IMAX-ed scenes.

And how does it fare?
Well, to be honest the first 45 minutes are great, some nice humour, solid action, bringing back characters and introducing new ones well, in the vein of the original, Shia talk-joke moments are still there, though few and far between, gone completely by the end of the first hour, Megan is purely sexualised once more, more-so than the last one too, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson are just military people this time, they have no character or point except that they were part of the events of the first one.

It all opens with action in Shanghai, military and autobots running around looking for decepticons, cue big bad one from the trailer, the one that smashes his hands don on the ground for an explosion and smashes through a motorway. In fact a majority of the first trailer is from the opening sequence, which I thought was a good idea when watching the sequence, not knowing as much about what is coming.

Of course this turned out to be another bad omen.

So Shia is off to college, he can't say he loves Mikaela because they need something near the end to get them back in each others' arms, and his parents are off to Paris for no reason, they get about 4 scenes before being scooped up by a Decepticon at about one hour 10 mins in, thrown back half an hour before the end for no reason. Cue terrible music for the college sequences, a roommate who is obsessed with alien robots and conspiracy theories, annoying as he is at the start he is dragged into the rest of the film, why? Because evidentially the writers wanted a new funny character on top of Tom Kenny's sweary min-decepticon hostage and the twin Smart car hispanics, gold teeth, odd eyes, always fighting, they can't read, great work Hollywood!

All the robots get nothing to do, The Fallen is nothing except some bad CGI moaning until the end, when he starts fighting in blurry shaky-cam classic style and is easily beaten. Megatron is found and re-energised just to beat up Starscream, thank goodness, and do nothing, Optimus doesn't even do anything plot-wise, except fight some baddie robots off (All baddies of course black, hardly subversive still) and then, now, how should I say this without any spoilers, go to a farm for a bit, then brought back to beat the bad guys with the ease no other autobot had, yet they can all be killed instantaneously.

Well, the whole final epic battle is a problem on itself to get to later.

So, the plot, Sam finds a shred of the cube in his jacket, how convenient, and touches it, causing him to get shapes in his head he has to write down. An hour and a half later he finds out what they are, and as always, a robot projects the scene and tells us the plot. Some stuff about a vixen in college wanting Sam, lasts about 20 minutes, happening upon John Turturro in the Kevin Smith Die Hard 4.0 role this time, with more action, a ball joke and the poor guy strips off to a jockstrap, in IMAX close up, erm, not exactly great, nor of course funny in any way.

Jon Voight is no where to be seen this time, a mention of Obama suggests that it's supposed to be set 2 years later and Voight was with Bush, who must have liked Ding Dongs and red socks then.
The voices are great, Hugo, Peter, Frank, Tom, all top jobs, of course a lot don't get much time and are skipped over, which is a dire shame, but it's not like the first where they were ignored for human characters, they were ignored for random action or shots of sand.

In IMAX the forrest fight, sand eater and subsequent pyramid fight were in full screen, though the final battle has three segments so only a third if that is up there, but the change in aspects, like TDK last year, isn't too horrendous. However unfortunately the CGI plays up even more at such a big screen. The first one, though limited in shots, looked amazing, and it's the attention to detail from the first one's small shots that is missed here, overblown so much that the CGI is disappointingly and annoyingly bad, Golden Compass bad, so it'll win the Oscar.

The acting from the humans is minimal to bad, nothing major here, they're only there to service a contract and to make money, there's no real reason any humans are in it with the lack of plot and function for 2 hours 30 of the film, add to that the lack of a conclusion, after the big battle the Linkin Park music starts up again and Optimus speaks out, no time to give much of a finish, in the same way that the whole film forgets to humanise the humans and autobots, they're all bloody robotic.

Now, the final battle. So much is just wrong here. For starters the CGI overload is poorly done and looks awful, the whole point of the final battle seems to be a mid-movie sequence with a final conclusion action segment added on to finish the film, the action is shot so poorly you can't make heads nor tales of the robots, again, and by this time you're so uninvested in the characters you kinda hope The Fallen does destroy the Sun and watch Shia and Megan's smug grins burn off their disintegrating faces.

Thankfully among all the turgid awfulness of the movie, the score is once again fantastic, hummable and far outweighs the boring-ness of the sub-par action on screen.

I mean, there's Baytarded, a kind of dumb-ness level for films that still retain the upbeat fun of the piece with explosions, and then there's retarded, where they forget the audience and just make things explode, and as much as I like explosions, there are too many in comparison to the character development the first one had for the most part. Add to that the complete dark nature the film's tone turns for the run time to make it seem slightly dangerous, eliminating the humour that made the characters so fun to watch in the first one, and from that brilliant epitome of a summer film you get a polished turd with little of interest after a solid 45 minute opening.

5/10 For those first 45 minutes alone.

If you decide to use this, I'm EthanRunt

This review basically has it as being a film that if you liked the first, you'll like this, but if you didn't... nothing here will change your mind. Here's ooube...

Never written a review for Aint it cool before because, living in England, we rarely get films before the US so there's never been much point but I saw Transformers :Revenge of the fallen this afternoon and saw that it's out here a week before you guys so...

it's pretty much what everyone expects and hopes for; if you liked the first one you'll love this, if you didn't (or are a Bay detractor) you'll find not much for you here. Most of the trailers are made up from the first 2 action sequences and the rest of the film just gets bigger, louder and more outlandish in the brilliantly over the top summer event way - but it remains fun, the plot holes and suspension of disbelief not too grating and the characters interesting and likeable , so basically everything Terminator Salvation isn't.

The plot (as it is) is that Sam is going to college, his mum and dad are having trouble letting him move on and so is Bumblebee. He's trying to cultivate a long term relationship with Megan Fox but their are troubles ahead; she won't move away with him and he (in the biggest suspension of disbelief moment in the movie) refuses to tell her he loves her - the odd logic being that if he does she'll loose interest.

He's also managed to find a shard of the Allspark (left for two year) in his hoodie from the first film - this imprints, a la Chuck, a map and symbols into his brain. It also creates, in a crazy Gremlin's inspired sequence, a load of household itemed Decepticons (toasters, remote controlled cars etc). Starscream recognises that the All Spark shard is out there and the Decepticons must get it and Sam.

The Autobots and the military (most of the guys from the first team) are part of a secret covert team called Nest, that monitor for Decepticon attacks around the world and destroy them when they do attack, something that is happening with more frequency. There are also more Autobots now, those who answered Optimus's message at the end of the first films- two twins who combine to make the ice cream truck (briefly) and are far more annoying than Jazz in the first film and 3 female bikes that are hardly in it.

But all is not well with the EBE pardon, and typically slimey government suit is blaming the escalation in attacks on the earth on the autobots and their continued presence here. What else could they be hunting?

It turns out that the Fallen and the Transformers have been to our planet before - thousands of years ago, and they inspired the creation of the Pyramids etc. The Fallen was a rebel who wanted to exterminate human life o n the planet and has been banished, he now wants to use the map in Sam's head to uncover a machine, left from the Transformer's original visit, to exterminate our sun. The Fallen cam only be defeated by a prime and Optimus is the last one left, reviving Megatron to defeat Prime (by exploiting his affection and protection of Sam) will leave the world defenseless to The Fallen and The Decepticons.

Very quickly Shia, Megan and Bumblebee are on the run, with Shia's college roommate along as comic relief, the world learns of the Transformer's existance and John Tuturro returns to the frey - more manic and over the top than last time.

The action is great but still very hard to discern what is going on, most of the humour works but the robot's personalities are still very one dimensional and aimed at kids and the plot is just an excuse to lead too a showdown of 40 robots and 100s of military fighting in the desert.

There are so many robot characters in this film compared to last time and they still haven't lost the wow factor in seeing them on screen; Shia is exactly what he was and you want him to be and Megan Fox is stunning as expected (plus Bay finds an almost as hot actress to play Shia's college temptress) and the comedy when provided by Shia and his family generally works. Also, of course, the whole film is set at dusk to get that wonderful blue/green hue and lens flares.

It's not going to make any new converts to transformers or Bay's style, but if you were a fan of the first and/ or big budget event films you'll love it

ooube

This is another review that calls it a piece of shit, this time by VadakinX:

Harry,

I've literally just come in the door after watching Transformers and as I sit down to write this, something has occurred to me. Michael Bay is on the wrong Hasbro franchise. Everyone knows that Bay has a hard on for the military. He treats them with respect and admiration in his films. Bay should be directing G.I. Joe, not Transformers.

Anyways, about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I half expect this to be a mess of a review but then it was a mess of a film so I guess it fits. Some spoilers ahead, maybe some major ones so skip this if you want to go into the film spoiler-free.

Back when the first movie came out I hated it. People told me I shouldn't expect Shakespeare from a toy commercial to which I responded that source material is no excuse for bad writing. This time around, I have to say that source material is no excuse for bad....well, everything. This really is a mess. Where do I start? Well the action is horrendous. There are more robots this time around, some of whom remain in their Cybertronian forms making it impossible to tell them apart. Even the ones that were given bright colours to stand out don't work. There's a green autobot and a green decepticon...I have no idea which is which.

In fact there are far too many robots. Last time around, people complained that the focus wasn't on the robots. Bay has responded to this by adding more generic machines to the action. There are explosions galore, a lot of shit going on...it's too bad you won't have a clue exactly what for over half the shots. It's a little clearer than in the first film, and Bay has slowed down on the edit a bit but the generic nature of the machines makes it irrelevant. Then there's the script...oh dear god...

Now I will give Orci and Kurtzman some credit. Their Star Trek script wasn't terrible (even if it was a rip off of Star Wars A New Hope) and there are less plotholes in this Transformers movie than the last. But that's where the credit ends. So it turns out that Megatron, the leader of the evil Decepticons is actually a pussy-whipped bitch...I'm serious. He does nothing except what the Fallen tells him to (even calling him Master) and by the end he just retreats with a whimper. Megatron is a fucking joke. A cowardly punk. He's Starscream with a bigger gun.

Anyways the story goes that Sam has knowledge in his head about a new source of energon blah blah blah BOOM another explosion. That's what you want right? Well there's lots of that. And also just about every cliche in the history of cinema. There are no characters in this movie, just catchphrases and sex jokes.

And that's where the movie really takes a nosedive. The humor. It's gross, crass, unfunny, appealing to the lowest common denominator. It's the type of humor you would expect to find in Disaster Movie or some American Pie Rip off...only worse. Everything from Devastator having balls (yes you read correctly) to a small Decepticon (I have no idea who it is) humping Megan Fox's leg...it's shit that appeals to hicksville. The kind of trash that appeals to no-brained idiots with asses for faces....which is apparently just about everyone. Because as I sat and watched the movie, I noticed something. People laughed. A lot of people laughed. Right then and there I knew that the worst movie of the summer so far (yes, Terminator is better, even Wolverine is better) would make the most money. And I died a little inside.

Whatever happened to movies that could be fun without being stupid? Whatever happened to Star Wars and Raiders? To Jaws? Back To The Future....remember those movies? Remember how fun they were? How engaging the characters were? How is it that we have lost that kind of film making where a movie could appeal to everyone wthout being reduced to a series of special effects and fart jokes? Pixar is the only studio left that seems to get it.

But I digress. Spoiler Alert! Optimus dies. Yup...but he doesn't stay dead. So why am I spoiling that little nugget of information? Because Optimus has less screentime than he did in the first movie. Rachet is left in the background along with Ironhide, even Bumblebee isn't as prominent as he was. You have twin Transformers who are the spiritual successor to Ghetto Jazz and did I mention that Megatron is a bitch?

Let's go back a few years...Superman Flyby. Remember that script? Remember the awful scene in the first draft where a dead Superman meets his father who teaches him Krypto-kung fu and gives him timely advice? Well we have something along those lines in this movie, this time involving "The Primes".

But I can't get my thoughts straight. There is so much I need to say but it's just too painful. This is a piece of shit film that everyone will go see and love because they are all mindless idiots. What I say here is meaningless. People will once again say that I shouldn't expect Shakespeare. I don't. What I expect is to be entertained by a solid story with some decent action, a little humor that is a cut above sex jokes (does Bay not realise who the audience for this movie will be?)....how do I put it...

Imagine if Team America wasn't a send up. Imagine if Bay directed it as a live action film. Now add robots. That's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. My brain hurts to much to write any more. Actually come to think of it, if Bay did direct G.I. Joe then Team America is exactly what I would expect.

If you use this, I am VadakinX in the talkback for those who wish to ridicule me.

Man. Ok - this next one is from a Dad that took his son to see it in Japan, they had a great time:

Hey Harry/or Mr Beaks..or whoever...

I'm sure ur getting a deluge of reviews from expats living in the Far east right now.
TRANFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (or Transformer/Revenge, as its called out here) opens officially on June 20th, but theaters have opened it early on the 19th.

I took my son (7 yrs old), in a nutshell.....Great!! It was fun, better than the first! My kid thought so too.

The special effects were not awesome in the sense that we were witnessing something amazing we'd never seen before, but the effects were OVERWHELMING. The movie did not let up, even for a second...the larger than life Bay shots of young nubile women and soldiers mean muggin' dont count.
The story was good, very cartoony, but it works for the world that these characters live in...talking transforming robots from outer space!
The characters? This time around, the transformers are 'actors' in the story. Soldier boys Tyrese and Duhamel were pushed into the background, so were the parents, but were all serviceable. (except the horrible scene w/ Sam's mom in college, high on space cake). Sam was fine, John Turturro was the best human actor (criminally underutilized), Megan Fox is a fox. And there is a SPOILER!!!! nice looking decepticon in a human guise! (you can see her coming from a mile away tho)

The movie is loooooooong, 2 and a half hours?? Didnt check my watch, but it felt epic...
One of the few negatives was the humor. The autobots and decepticons crackin wise like they from the streets, that and the lowest common denominator type comedy that was goin on at Sam's college. Hated it at the start of the movie, but halfway thru, I found myself welcoming these light/fluffy moments cause the rest of the movie was so dang relentless w/ the intensity. Priceless was Turturro signaling a nearby battleship that his current position was under Devastator's testes!!!

I'ma cut it short cause I made my wife a caipirinha to thank her for lettin me go see the movie!
If you use this, I'm BossPlayya, I sent that erroneous Timbo/Jim Cameron scoop a couple years back, or I also go by Gorgeous Rod (my handle on a defunct comedy/reality show Supa Gaijin here in japan)

Here's someone that loved it, like I hear Moriarty did:

What can I say! Midnight Showing, a packed room filled with Geeks and Nerds ready to enjoy more explosions from Michael Bay....I dont think any of us left disappointed.

There were cheers at the beginning gasps in the middle and applause at the end (which in UK cinemas is a big deal!)

The story is a great continuation from the first film and as we know all about them we manage to get rid of all the exposition and get straight down to it.

The special effects have been improved greatly since the first film and the Transformers now look and feel real. My mate was a little disappointed in some of the characterisations (Soundwave, Ironhide) but was won over by new characters such as Mudflap and Wheelie (well new to the Bay films anyway) If a dream of yours was to see a miniature robot hump Megan Fox's leg...consider yourself blessed by this movie.

Also Fox gets her Baywatch on near the end (we get a good handful of shots of sloooow motttion running) there should always be running!!!

Overall a bigger, funnier and for my money better film than the first.

I dont care if you are a Bay hater...the man can make a spectacle and for two and a half hours today I forgot all my problems.

Darfdork

Here's another guy that had fun with it...

Hey Harry, I live in the UK and went to the 12.01 screening of Transformers ROTF this evening. As the US release isn't until the 22nd I thought I'd send in a review. Overall, the flick was very good. Pretty much what I think most people are expecting, good mindless, hugely expensive entertainment. I'm sure most people who frequent the site are fairly familiar with the overall story, but here's a little sum-up anyways. (Apologies for the lack of structure, I don't normally write reviews that span beyond a few sentences).

(SPOILERS)

The Autobots are working for the US government as a secret anti-decepticon task force when they come across a warning from the massive wheel robot we've all seen in the trailers. The warning is of course, about 'The Fallen' who is waiting to wreak havok on the earth and our lead characters. Meanwhile Sam goes off to college, but not before finding a small shard of the allspark which, after a quick touch downloads a bunch of ancient Cybertronian symbols and coded info into his mind. The Fallen, along with the other Decepticons need said info to locate a device to supply them with a large quantity of energy that will allow them to win the war and take over / destroy the earth. Bayhem ensues.

Let's start with the bad points. The mandatory 'funny' scenes with Sam and his parents really did grate on me. They've tried so hard to make it funny it's almost painful to watch. That said, there were a few people in my cinema laughing at every joke (including the clever joke of two dogs humping... twice). All the people that had a problem with the similar scenes in the first flick are going to have a field day with this. Truly awful stuff. And it gets a little worse when Sam goes off to college. I really don't know if Michael Bay has ever actually been to an American college, but i'm guessing he just asked some 13 year old boy what he imagines it to be like, then created it. Seriously it's so idealised it's amazing. Every girl is amazingly hot and even the guys are straight out of a magazine catalogue. The party they go to resembles a nightclub more than a dorm room. Anyway, enough ranting.

That's basically the first half hour and once Sam gets whisked away from college to deal with the impending threat, it gets very cool and very entertaining. Fans wanted more robot vs. robot action, it's here... and pretty awesome. The forest scene we've seen glimpses of in the trailer is pretty bad-ass (though the camera does suffer from Quantom of Solace syndrome at times). Aside from that the action / CG is very well done, especially as there's a bit more human robot interaction. The new robots are all fairly good too. Mudflap and Skids aren't anywhere near as annoying as I expected them to be, and there are several new Decepticons (including a remote control buggy / Italian-American robot who really grew on me). Though sadly Soundwave sits the whole flick out, having no connection to Ravage or any other smaller robot.

I also think it's weird that the Decepticons suddenly have hugely more advanced techonolgy this time around. Nano-bots that join together and bug-sized thingamabobs I can live wit, but they actually have a full-size human replica that can change from a real-life girl to a Frenzy-like robot in seconds. The presence of that thing just didn't fit with the movie and it just seemed kinda out of place in my opinion.

Shia LaBoeuf isn't quite as Shia LaBoeuf as I expected him to be and Megan Fox is purely eye-candy offering little more than slow motion fodder. It's cool Josh Duramel and Tyrese Gibson are back, but they're not given alot to do. The fact i'm only realising that now is a testament to the action and elaborate set-pieces that really distract you from pretty much any thinking at all. The flick also features some great cinematography of landscapes and aerial shots that all add to sheer scope of this thing. It's not quite as awe-inspiring as the first one, but it's a heck of a lot of fun none-the-less and hugely entertaining. Explosions, giant robots knocking seven shades of shit out of one another, resulting in more explosions, Transformers 2 has finally arrived and it's well worth watching.

celm02

This review came from an advanced screening in Israel:

I'm surprised no one's reviewed this yet. Call me Moonshine.

There was a press screening in Israel for Transformers 2. Let me sum up: it stinks. Watching it, one can sense the end of civilization creeping closer.

The first film had a somewhat likable first half. The second half felt like a documentary about the steel industry edited by someone suffering from severe apoplexy.

Well apparently Bay really loved the second half, because this movie is all shaky-cam. Even the lovey-dovey scenes between Shia and Megan are shaky (and with loud music in the background. Oh, and the dialog is terrible. And the acting sub-par).

As for the robots: there are too many of them (not that you could actually recognize more than two or three in the first one). You've got your G1 classics; then you've got a razor thin one made out of ball bearings; then one that looks like a human girl (surprisingly, this technological breakthrough was utilized only for the purpose of capturing mankind's last hope, Shia, and not for impersonating the President or something silly like that). You've got your Freud robot, your jive talking robot, and your Mexican robot. It's like Jar-Jar: if they were portrayed by humans, Bay would be crucified.

Belief cannot be suspended when a giant Wheelie thing tears through a jammed-up highway and the government somehow manages to cover it up. And those dialogs... If I hear one more line about humanity's capacity for good, I swear I'll come home and beat my Prime upside the head. When "The Fallen" - who looks like a pregenant robot octupus - calls Megatron "my apprentice"... I mean come on.

This is a bad, flat, thoughtless film that had the audience laughing during it's final, dramatic moments (Shia says those three words Megan oh so longed to hear). Remember when Kirk died in Star Trek Generations? This film is just like that: dramatic events without drama. Bay is going to whine about the critics; instead, he should go watch the real T2 - the one with Arnold and Furlong - and understand that an action movie doesn't have to be brainless.

This comes from CSCTheLegend

Hey Harry And Those Oh So Friendly Readers Of AICN

This is just my thoughts. Not overly cohesive, so give a guy a break

Tonight I saw Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. I have no idea if you want my opinion on it but I thought I'd send it to you anyway. Oh and FYI, The reason I saw it tonight was because I work at a cinema and one of the few perks I have is to watch films a wee bit earlier than the everyday folks. I don't often take the chance to use this perk but I did with Star Trek and now with this (even if I could have spent 2 and a half hours hanging with the girl of my dreams. I had to spend it with Megan Fox instead)

As far as my history with Transformers goes, I have none before Michael Bay. I have no knowledge of the cartoons and toys bar what my soon to be brother in law tells me. Phrases like "G1" sound more like an economic plan than what it actually is. Which..I have forgotten. I was resistant to the first movie because, well, Michael Bay. Hes always seemed like a nice guy and all, but his films seemed a bit empty. However I caved in when it came to Blu Ray and I got it cheap on Amazon. And i loved it. Explosions, Robots, Megan Fox, whats not to love right?

So to the sequel, I shall begin with an overview to give you the gist and ill get spoilery if i must. Essentially, I loved it. It's no Citizen Kane, no shawshank, no eternal sunshine, but it does what it sets out to do. If you enjoyed the first one then step right up, the shows back in town! It's a little bit long, I'd say 30-45 minutes could go easily. Those who felt the first film missed out on the bot-on-bot action will not be dissapointed this time around. Its Auto-Decepto-Smackdown time. Oh and if you didn't like the first one or didnt bother to watch it, rent it or download it (or whatever you crazy kids are doing these days) and give it another shot. Then go see this one. I know michael bay doesnt need your money, but its a damn site more fun and funny than snoozey woozy wolverine and the time flies a lot quicker than with Terminator: Save Me.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

So theres a Prime voiceover before the titles, accompanying footage of ancient times fighting with some transformers seemingly feuding over that thing that was on the enterprise in First Contact that Worf and Data and Picard and that red shirt, had to seperate from the ship. However, in a shocking twist, it isnt that at all! Disapointing I know. We also see The Fallen for the first time. Hes a Robot. I'm not going to explain the whole story or else what would be the point in seeing it, there are other sites for that sort of thing.
Sam is going to college. Megan Fox isnt. They arent going to be together anymore. He just won't say I love you. She doesnt like this. Sam finds a lovely little mcguffin, a tiny shard of the All spark. It makes his kitchen become Robots. His kitchen goes mental. Bumblebee fucks shit up. Theres a lot of this sort of stuff in the movie. The clashing of Sam's startlingly odd mother and endearing father and sams normal life in general. This is clearly something the writers went after in the first film and something they continue here. As Sir Russell T Davies once said about good old Doctor Who, no one cares about "Planet Zog". A film with bots just punching each other wouldnt be appreciated by the wider audience who just dont get off on that sort of thing. It needs to be grounded with likable people in earth-bound reality led situations. Granted, reality slips out of the door pretty early, but you're happy to go along with amiable Shia TheBeef because he's the everyman, something he plays very well. And theres Megan Fox. And they're all funny.
Ah humour, somethign this sequel goes after with fury. Theres the wise guy decpticon whos name I forget (happens a lot in this film) whos also a little RC car who seems to be channeling Joe Pantoliano whos wisecracking his way through the film. He also does something quite reasonable...he humps Megan Fox's leg. Now, I can see many situations in which I can see myself doing likewise, though it did jar a little. Theres also a lot of dog on dog action in the first 20 minutes. Im not sure why. Theres also "The Twins". I know not if these are actually there names as I didn't catch them (see above). But they are actually surprsingly entertaining. I thought they would grate on my eventually but, come their big action scene, taking on Devastator, I was, frankly, hoping for a spin off. Theres also talk of Robot Scrotums. But i shant ruin that for you
The plot is full of Transformers. I know talkbalkers and fans will scream the place down for me saying this, but I could have done with a few less. I know so few names of these metal roustabouts that I didnt know where they were at any time or in fact care. Prime, megatron (yes he'd back, like a bit of a lackey to be honest), bumblebee, The twins, devastator, JoeyPantsbot and some geriatric british Decepticon turncoat who had an actualy transformer cane; i can't think of any others in the movie. In as much as I mean, I cant remember them. They may throw a funny little quip in here and there but aside from that, why are they there? Oh hey, John Turturro comes back, and hes a brilliant as he always is. Used much more effectively than he was in the first film. However he does get a little lost in the plot pile up at the climax. Ever character from the last two hours descend into a war zone. It's not overly effectively staged. It all looks the same and the same stuff keeps happening. Theres no tension, waiting for sam to arrive with his magic dust (dont ask) and Turturro's over there with that new kid that I think was in Power Rangers once. And its all rather hectic and clumsy. Even the final smackdown seems over weirdly quick. Optimus (SPOILER RUN!) "dies" early on the film, in fact in the big foresty bit in the trailers, however, you spend the whole film thinking "well hes clearly coming back". And he does. And then the old english transformer dies and Optimus, essentially, 'pimps' himself up. And suddenly he flies at the fallen, he shoots a thing which breaks- threat averted- and then just punshes The Fallen until he dies ("I rise, you fall". Nice)......And thats it. It just seems a bit like we're spent so long running to the end point of an intergalactic race (excited!) and then at the end, everyone sort of gives up (disappointed). But who cares, its been fun and Megan Fox is still there.

So the plot. There is one, I know that much. But its essentially lots of transformers, at least 4 "Macguffins" (2 bits of the all spark, a weird little dagger thing, Captain Picards seperator thingie) and much running about and globe trotting. Yes its just running from A to B, from fight to fight, from quip to quip, from under whelming plot revelation to under whelming plor revelation. But you know what, when your running with Megan Fox, explosions, and Huge Ass Kicking Fricking Alien Robots, I'm going for the run

It's fun. It's relatively stupid. It's strangely emotive in places. It's not perfect but it has huge fricking robots and Megan Fox (did I mention she was in it?)
And I may not know all the names, and the history. But I do know this; I came out of that film after 2 and a half hours with a huge grin in my face and a desire to see more adventures of Samuel Witwicky And His Amazing Metal Chums

If you see fit to print this drivel, call me CSCTheLegend

Talkbalkers, rip me to shreds already

That's all for now - a strong mixture of LOVE & HATE. I'm a little frightened at this point.

Harry