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New G.I. JOE Trailer hits... I really can't wait to see this! They apparently have Megaforce flying motorcycles!!!
Hey folks, Harry here - over on YouTube - they have the latest GI JOE trailer up and frankly... I'm dying to see this trailer in the greater glory of Glorious Quicktime - but there's flying motorcycles and crazy cool vehicles galore. Yes, none of this looks particularly real - but with the exception of specific costumes - it kinda looks an awful lot like GI JOE. I just want Cobra uniforms - and the cool ol Village People unique look of the JOES themselves. That said - I have a correspondence with a director. One we all collectively worship who told me that the film is made for the boy in us. And I can't share that director's name, but I can say he wants all the vehicles in this movie. And that's as much of a clue as I'll give ya. I'm now much more excited about this than TRANSFORMERS 2 - as the word on that is pretty awful at this stage.
Here's the YOUTUBE link
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+ Expand All
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This, however, looks to be shit.
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this movie is going to blow them.
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http://tinyurl.com/maximushood
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This will be the first summer crap buster I watch!
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Why isn't he in a super suit?
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you're so out of touch. This looks GOD AWFUL. A CGI-overstuffed cornball of a movie, custom made for everyone who's ever shopped at Wal-Mart. Oh well. I guess Middle America deserves this...?
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Why is it set in France?
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That trailer is actually better than the last one and makes this film look more tolerable. I like the comedy tidbit at the end about jumping over / through the tram.
I'll see if the next trailer actually gets me wanting to see this film. -
Watch Team America instead. Transformers blows, this will blow. Next stop Thundercats. (I would actually be excited)
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Jun 20, 2009 3:58:33 PM CDT
Do toy companies understand that this will hurt toy sales!?
by kbarber29
Again, I refer to the Super Mario jump boots. GI JOE doesn't need power suits!
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SHIT
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I'd be a liar if I said I wouldn't. As I mentioned on another TB I kind of dislike how much defense TF2 is getting but this is getting bashed. I mean I look at these movies the same way: Too much CGI action movie garbage. But at least this movie won't have trendy jokes aimed at 2009. I hate Transformers 1 because if you watch it today it seems dated. The use of characters and jokes makes the movie not timeless at all which I always imagined a transformers movie could be. GI Joe could be cool but why did they have to have those Power Ranger suits? I just don't understand that decision.
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I remember all the "critics" here liked it, now it's all bandwagon jumping overrated hate fest.
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Because the only director that comes close to fitting that title around here is Sr Spielberg himself. Your buddies Tarantino and Rodriguez have too many detractors around here and have suffered much backlash lately, and I really doubt you're in correspondence with Scorsese. Nor do I think he would enjoy this movie. Cameron comes close, and you've spoken with him before, but he's not "collectively worshipped" 'round here either. Like I said, Spiels is the only one that fits the bill, but have a hard time believing you'd refer to him in one sentence and then dis his new movie in the next. Besides, I think its obvious to EVERYONE that this movie is *supposed* to be made for the boy in all of us. That statement above doesn't mean dick. If you or he had said "This movie brings out the boy in all of us," we'd have a little more hope. But right now, all we have is a meaningless non-quote that states the obvious intent of the film. Says nothing about the final result.
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I watched the new animated shorts, tried to get back into the comics, even thought about starting to collect again. Nothing. The stupid foundation this is built on really shows as you get older...it really is a toy commercial, highlighting various characters who would have no connection is real life. And COBRA is about as stupid as CHAOS from Get Smart. I'm sorry, it just doesn't hold up for adults.
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Critics hate every film he has ever done, but the average person loves his films. He makes easily accessible popcorn films. And at the end of the day, vastly more people will enjoy watching Transformers, The Rock, Con Air, Armageddon, etc. over The Reader.Michael Bay is good at making a Michael Bay film. He has no pretenses about who he is, or the type of films he makes. And at the end of the day, there are guys like Sommers, and McG that ape Bay's style, but fail miserably.
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Isn't Spielberg an executive producer on the Transformers movies? Isn't he financially vested in these films doing well? So, he is not going to trash his own film.
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Sad. What were they thinking? Scarlet's red hair flowing all over the place. Duke in his tan military shirt. They all look the same in those jump suits. The flying motorcycles? WTF. Will not be watching this in theater. Waiting for 2012. 2012 and STAR TREK will be the only films I watch in theater this year because they are probably the only ones worth the money with the way ticket prices are. I won't even put GIJOE on Netflix in this incarnation.
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How on Earth does that look an awful lot like GI JOE? And why are those suits such a major selling point? I don't get it.And a couple of weeks ago, the word on TRANSFORMERS 2 was positive. Now, all the sudden, the word is "pretty awful at this stage". Interesting swing there, Grande Rojo.
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...then again, the only director I know who we all supposedly adore who loves cars and races is George Lucas.
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Kate Winslet got nude in it, but wasn't it about Nazis or something? I don't know.
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LOVED the cartoon as a kid, but this doesn't even evoke sentimental feelings for me. But that's OK--there are much better comics, books, and movies that have replaced my 80s childhood fandom. Leave GI Joe and Transformers in our memories and move on--life is short and there are many other creative universes to explore...
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It's basically what I would imagine a dialogue would sound like if one of us was trying to make fun of a big Hollywood movie. "This unit doesn't technically exists...but if it did (wink wink) It would totally kick ass." Fuck you.
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Jun 20, 2009 4:12:03 PM CDT
I guess the questions is who gives a damn about this franchise a
by guntermonkey
I mean really, wasn't this latest incarnation of GI Joe designed by some production team to suck money from children of the 80s who now have kids of their own? Look at the toy isle in Walmart sometime--Transformers, Star Wars, GI Joe, etc...I mean, geez, it looks like the toy isle when I was 9.
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Just all kinds of shit really. This film is a waste of everybody's time. Except Sienna Miller. This is just the kind of shit that pointless cunt deserves.
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All I've heard so far is that its just mediocre. And overlong. If you liked the first, you'll like the second. If you hated the first, you'll hate the second more (but really, why would you go see it?). But the effects are better and the fight scenes easier to watch and yadda yadda yadda.
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Seriously, I can't remember a year as bad as this one for big budget spectacle movies.
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...and take your crappy 80s properties with you. Give us something new. I mean, we had to play with this shit for years--time for a change!
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I have seen more Spielberg haters here than almost any director. Especially since Indy IV. I am NOT one of them however. SS is a genius and is the greatest living filmmaker. I think collectively worship directors here are more like Guillermo del Toro, Peter Jackson, James Cameron... those sorts. And GI Joe looks fine. It's a big summer movie made for everyone- not just 40 year old men who refuse to let go of their childhood.
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Really? Because I didn't see much realistic military weaponry or tech being used by highly skilled and competent soldiers, free from machinery enhanced physical alteration.
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"I didn't". Cue the 1000th riff on the joke "What did you say your name was again?" "I didn't." Oh man that makes me laugh everytime I see it.
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. . . that's for damn sure. It simply would have been better if they were regualr soldiers out maned and out gunned by tech savy terrorists.
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cannot wait :/
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Spielberg has his detractors, but I haven't seen anyone that hates him and his films, and I mean really hates him and his films the way QT Lucas and RR attract hate. Even though Indy IV wasn't well-received by a majority of talkbackers, his early films are pretty much universally praised. Like I said, Spiels fits the bill better than anyone simply for the sheer amount of imaginative and entertaining material he has put out. I don't count Del Toro because there are lots of people who are not impressed with him at all. PJ comes close, but lots of pple hated King Kong and are starting to dislike LOTR. Honestly, there are reasons for and against lots of directors out there, but I'm still sticking with Spiels as the most collectively loved director out there.
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G.I. Ho, in which the special forces team Yo Ho! face off against the forces of Cougar Commander. Yo Ho! is comprised of Dyke, Harlet, Blowjob, One Eye, and Gen. Harpy. Leading the forces of Cougar! are the Barreness and Major Boob. As dumb as that sounds, it is still better than this movie will be.
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that's all i give a fuck about...don't let me down. saw channing tatum at LAX he was dressed like a bball playing black dude from 2003 i lol'd
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The problem with Indy IV was the script. Some haters say he used too much CGI in Indy IV, but when I ask them what they didn't like (such as the crazy door at the end) they fail to realize those are in fact, practical effects. You can see how they built all that stuff on the BluRay.I think Spielberg overall is the best director of our lifetime. That being said, many of his films in recent years have had weak endings. I want to see him be daring in choosing stories. Munich was a very underrated flick, and War of the Worlds was brutal up until it fell apart.I want to see Spielberg really return to form.
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Sommers=Hal Needham+150 million budget
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I overheard a guy talking to another guy at a comic shop (comics are a guilty pleasure for me) and his theory was that they have the stupid robot suits because Iron Man was a huge hit last year so they think suits must be the in thing. Maybe its a plausible theory, maybe its not. I would have preferred distinguishible costumes and if they really had to have them do crazy impossible things like hopscotch down three blocks while things blow up they could have made more subtle suits or just injected them with some technology or nanotechnology or some lame sci fi thing so they don't look like "Turbo Man" from Das Swarzzenegger's "Jingle all the Way".
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The "funny bits" are acceptably funny, not just plain silly.
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i think i hate stephen sommers more than any other director now
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I completely believe that explanation. I buy it. Only because I know how stupid film execs truly are. You'd think in this day and age, they'd have been able to realize that the characterization in Iron Man is what made that movie, but nah - the execs would put their money on "it was the suit." >_<
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easily the worst summer movie season ever.
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Not even a close approximation of GI Joe.
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and there was nothing funny in that trailer!
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Yes! I can't wait to see who you're going to be blowing for the next year or so!
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who else could it be? Uwe Boll?
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Megaforce was truly epic shit. Was that a Golan and Globus production, btw?
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Did you ever watch the 80's cartoon? It was quasi-futuristic as well. Joe's and Cobra's did not use bullets, but lasers, and all the tech on that show was far fetched. Aside from the suits, and any real proof of Cobra's look and tone, this looks looks right on the money.
Also
I feel I owe Harry an apology for my 'Expendables' joke I made towards him. 'nuff said! -
I thought they just pulled wheelies, and fired missiles and shit. Could be wrong on that.
Either way, they had to be the first military force in history to go into combat with feathered hairstyles and aerobics-class headbands. Here's hoping they're not the last! -
How anyone with an IQ over braindead or older than the age of 8 can look at this and be "excited" or "looking forward to it" is beyond me.
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i doubt i care about either.
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The best description for this thing..
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it didn't dawn on me until i sat down to watch the recent animated shorts, but this franchise is pretty much done. as a kid, yes, it was incredibly appealing with the guns, vehicles, uniforms/personas, etc. but as an adult, it all rings as... well, silly. as ass as its current movie iteration looks (and it looks quite assy), i don't think there's really an 'awesome' version to be made. now a less suck version? certainly.
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I did watch the cartoon, but maybe my ideal vision is unrealistic. I prefer the comic book stories to the cartoon, ten-fold. Of course, the cartoon was infinitely more popular, so of course they would try to tap into THAT.
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This is NOT GI Joe. Faux Joe.
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I'm just not excited about this at all.
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hi, yeah, I've actually seen Transformers 2 and there's not much point slagging it off as you get what you expect from it. This however, from the director of Van Helsing (didn't mention that in the trailers, and Harry loved that film I recall) - looks about as much fun as cholera
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No, it looks like part Ironman and some other bullshit mash up from previous films and intellectual properties.BZZZT! wrong again Harry.
Thanks for playing. -
Bay had nothing to do with Con Air, though I totally agree with you otherwise.
You yanks are just dissing Transformers 2 because for once you have to see it last. -
doesn't remember GI Joe looking like this.
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...I go see a lot of crap that gets bad press simply because I'm curious. But this preview, as the one before it was, is so far removed from what I'd like to see in a G.I. Joe movie that I will actually be skipping this one.
And really, as much as Wolverine underperformed (both artistically and financially), at least they made an effort (for the most part) to put the actual stuff from the comics onto the screen. I know they took some rather unpopular liberties, and totally dropped the ball on Deadpool, but at least it mostly resembled actual characters from Wolverine.
G.I. Joe looks like an entire movie of misguided Deadpool-like reinvention. -
You didn't like the first Transformers and aren't really excited about the sequel, but you are ready to see GI Joe which looks like a piece of shit!?!?!
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That is code for falling on your butt, fart and poop jokes. Have we learned NOTHING from Van Helsing?
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This fucking garbage gets you all wet, as did VAN FUCKING HELSING, but you shit all over T4? Jesus Christ, Harry, your opinions are beyond worthless.
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What to expect from Transformers 2:
Poorly shot soulless, random, pointless, action scenes ruined by shaky cam, blurry, zoomed in, 1 second, ADHD editing, with 20 different camera angles.
Blatant and lazy story, plot holes, continuity errors, pacing problems, terrible cliche and excessive ad lib dialogue, horrible acting, robots emote better than the humans, cringe inducing comedy and toilet humor that would make a 10 year old vomit in disgust. REMEMBER BAY FANS TO KEEP APOLOGIZING AND DEFENDING BAY AND HIS SHIT MOVIES.....YOU KNOW... MONEY EQUALS QUALITY AND ITS DUMB POPCORN FUN NOT SHAKESPEARE. The Bay hating conspiracy continues.... -
Such shit. Absolutely nauseating to sit through. Ugly, unfunny, and boring.
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curse whomever thought it would be a good idea to put them in the movie.
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Well, should we train all of these actors in military operations and combat?
Naw. You know what we could do? We could give them robo-suits and then we could just CGI all the mildly difficult stuff. -
This is just not it. A good version would have balance of over the top action, with grounding in real tactics and violence, with a realistic edge, good actors, and a great practical effects based action director, and a script whose humor comes from comradary and character interplay and not slapstick. I’ve said before about GI Joe from watching my own son and his friend’s reactions to the toys that kids today just don’t play with the action figures the way we did. They have games like Call of Duty that allow them a firsthand ability to be the hero, not imagine it the way we had to. Hasbro marketing GI Joe to a kid audience is a mistake up front, this movie much more so than Transformers was going to make its bank based on the nostalgia aspect of those of us who were fans as kids… It’s just not going to pull in the next generation the way it did ours. As a result this movie should have been geared more towards the fans of our generation and been more adult and taken much more seriously than this fluff. There is a great Joe story out there, it can be done. I just find this whole attempt a misguided effort. Bad choice of story, direction, miscasting, CGing the shit out of it, Iron Man suits… It just seems like they made the wrong choices at every turn. Sad.
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That changes everything!
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that's fucking brilliant!
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No shit! Who cares about characterization, right?! *thumbs up*
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The only things that resemble G.I. Joe are Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and maybe the Baroness but why is there no accent??? Everything else I just saw was bullshit! Even the action scenes look un-inspired... And I'd believe that bit about stupid film execs going with these suits because Iron Man was popular... Sadly I will very likely be seeing this movie... I'm simply fascinated to see how far off the ball this film inevitably ends up being.
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My God, this looks awful.
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Gi Joe is a disaster, it's over move along, people are going to lose their jobs over the film. Made for the kid in us? That's beacuse the adult in us will change the channel when they finally get around to watching GI:Joe 3 years from now on the USA channel.
Why the hate for Transformers? It looks huge and it will be the biggest hit of the year. Nobody has the balls to admit how awesome it is becasue they don't want to seem uncool.
You cried during Indiana Jones last year it's time to get some prespective man. -
Reminds me of Starship troopers when they're playing that football game at the beginning.
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More action movies need snow stunts.
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from the self-titled series and the very excellent Special Missions series that focused on one two Joes going on covert missions.
Great comic line. And the Hasbro action figure line far outclassed anything Kenner put out for Star Wars in the 80's. -
And why the F! is Stormshadow dressed like a fashion designer with a "cleanliness" fetish? Shouldn't he be wearing his white suit, y'know, IN AN ARCTIC ENVIRONMENT. WTF IS A NINJA DOING WALKING AROUND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN COWBOY BOOTS SHOOTING MISSILES THROUGH WINDOWS OF AN EXECUTIVE SUITE?!?!?!!?!?
Please...just...no. Not even Darth Maul can save this... -
The hate is entirely justified. Even if you liked the toys 20 years ago it was a damn near unwatchable movie. I like my cheap thrills but that flick was an eye and ear hurting clusterfuck. My 7 year old son thought it was lame. Bring on Iron Man 2.
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MEGFOOOORRRRCE!
Like a MEEEEEEGAAAFOOOORRRCE! -
cant forget that one.
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Do you know would deliver an amazing GI Joe movie, but would probably never agree to touch such a property?Alfonso Cuarón. Studios need to pay attention and listen up. You hire hack directors, and you run the risk of losing big time on your $200 million dollar tent-pole franchise films.You want to know why Indy IV, Iron Man, and Dark Knight ruled the box office last year? They all had good directors at the helm.The same can be said for Star Trek this year. This year we get McG destroying Terminator, a terrible Wolverine, and now this piece of garbage.Hire competent directors who can make good films. It isn't that difficult. In fact if you look at all the HUGE moneymakers in recent years, you'll see good directors by and large. Guys like Spielberg, Jackson, Nolan, Raimi, etc. What you don't see is Sommers.
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As I said in my Transformers review, Bay is on the wrong Hasbro franchise. He should be directing GI Joe. He loves the military, loves blowing shit up and the military likes to let him play with their toys.
Bay should have done G.I. Joe instead of Transformers. It's so obvious. -
The movie looks like it was made for tv for nick at night.
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The similarities with Team America are stunning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R5dk0JY2xc
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Jun 20, 2009 6:23:44 PM CDT
Yeah, I bet you can't wait for TWATLIGHT: NEW SHIT either!
by mr_incredible
Go choke on a fucking pretzel, you fucking fatass! GI JOE looks like shit and you know it!
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Jun 20, 2009 6:30:25 PM CDT
Trannyformers, do you ever get tired of posting the same thing?
by d.vader
In every talkback? Its beginning to look like Michael Bay spurned your advances back in high school or something.
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...You know, that 12 inch tall soldier you could by boats and different uniforms for him to change into....The former Navy/Army/Airforce/Marine spy with the kung-fu grip and fuzzy hair that eventually worked for the World Environmental Peace Corp, or some such shit by the late '70s. Had his own sweet eco-chasing lab/RV with tricked out movable walls and all his friends looked just the same as him, only with different colored hair.
Oh, and he was 12 inches tall....
My son played with the 3 inchers and I admit that I did love watching the cartoon of the tiny heroes with him in the 80's, but, c'mon, don't give me that "I liked the Original G.I.Joe," shit....
You don't know Joe....
Oh, and Nerosday and #1 Zero, up above, hit the nail on the head....PG action with multiple characters in different suits sells toys nobody plays with....but then theres theres the shit videogames and slushees to think about..... -
It actually sounds like Harry is warming up to this, thus justifying the growing disdain for him that the readers of his site show. This just looks awful to the point where I don;t even want to spend the energy to ignore it. Wow. Ya know, I'm not black so maybe I'm not the authority here but, if I were, I would be offended. Now, nothing in this world offends me, and I mean fucking NOTHING!!!! But at the same time, all of these action movies of the last decade with the token black guy who says wacky shot and...come on. It's a little over the top here, isn't it? Marlon Wayans is the ultimate bad-ass, so bad-ass he's been chosen for this top-secret elite fucking G.I. Joe shit. Yet, he seems really clumsy and stupid and wacky in every shot I see him in. All these modern action movies have that character and its just inserted to placate the black audience. So, young black boys and girls are supposed to identify with this token character who's sole purpose is to be the idiot in the bunch. Riiight.
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Didn't Harry just give us a report from the set of a director's new movie?A director I think safe to say we here seem to universally worship....Stallone digs Joe...
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I bet this site loves it.
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see this!!!
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This movie is for kids not you dick heads.
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for Gi Joe.That would have bee right up his alley.He can blow stuff up for any reason he could come with.He could have come up with new and inventive ways to blow stuff up.
Someone up thread mentioned the toy aisles looking like it did back in the 80's and its so true.With Star Wars,Transformers,now G.I. Joe and a Gatchaman movie supposedly coming out next year its the 80's all over again.now all I need is a M.A.S.K movie and it'll be my childhood all over again -
'Cause I can't think of a director alive that any of the talkbackers can agree on.Anyway, this and Transformers look like all of the battles that I staged with my toys in the '80s, but on the big screen. Don't know if that is a good or bad thing, but when I'm in the right mood, I'll enjoy it.
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I'm on board now for the tech geekery and cheesy lines.
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Jun 20, 2009 7:08:34 PM CDT
Yet anothe 'MY BAD' lack of ability to write dialogue
by mysterious_volvo
What the fuck is it with these people?
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ya heard?
I'd rather watch porn or the BBC or Denise Richards: It's Complicated, which is like a hybrid of the first two.
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Sorry. It'll have to be better than a Real TEAM AMERICA film brought to life, ya know?
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"And why the F! is Stormshadow dressed like a fashion designer with a "cleanliness" fetish?"
LMFAO! -
Great...plenty of scenes with Marlon Wayans jumping around screeching and yelling like a god damn dumbass. This is not GI Joe. this is a fucking travesty.
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No way this slice of cow dung comes close to his coolness.
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I'm pretty sure he/she/it takes a dump on the superherohype comments pertaining to anything Transformers: ROTF related as well. Probably paid to do so. Same "points", same list format. I guess the aim is to trick 10 year olds out of seeing it. Hope it pays well, at least.
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and Persis Khambatta, may she rest in peace, had some delicious jumbo Indian jugs o fun.just kiddin about the score...but Persis was fucking hot.
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"Yes, none of this looks particularly real - but with the exception of specific costumes - it kinda looks an awful lot like GI JOE." No, it looks like Action Movie.
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but this movie is going to be pure and utter shit. Just like almost every other movie that has come out this summer.
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The puppet version looks better!
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GI Joe. This looks an awful lot like absolute fucking shit.
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My memories of GI Joe: Cobra Commander, Destro,cool ninja fights, realistic military hardware (the comics), characters with interesting and unique personalities. This clip: powersuits, black leather and Marlon Wayans falling over, all set to a nu-metal score.
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harry will probably like it better than T4. Double exclamation mark!!
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Larry Hama is a sick fuck, but I love me some MARVEL/DEVILS DUE G.I. JOE
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the kung fu grip in the movie?
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Jun 20, 2009 9:46:14 PM CDT
Should I wait to watch this trailer on the big screen behind Tra
by arghh
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"damn cobra, you scary!!!"
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Because I ain't paying $12 to see my childhood raped.
Baroness without accent=Fuck You Stephen Sommers!
Storm Shadow dressed like a fashion designer with a cleanliness fetish=Fuck You Stephen Sommers!
Relying on Mans-formers battle suits to sell this shite to kids=Fuck You Stephen Sommers!
Casting a Wayans Brother=Fuck You Stephen Sommers!
Letting Stephen Sommers direct a film=Fuck you Paramount!
I hope that everybody boos at Comic-con during their panel, but they won't because the fanboys there are like lemmings following the trail of shit that Hollywood produces (and eating it happily). -
when he jumps through the window of the train, he leaves through the opposite window. That is physically impossible unless he started moving sideways at the same speed as the train as soon as he jumped in. Who the hell plans this stuff?
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The average brain-dead moviegoer is not concerned about how accurate the science is in a film such as this. It looks cool, that's all that matters.
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...wait until 3 or 4 weeks after the film opens. Supporting it opening weekend is guaranteeing it will be sequelized. Second week, you don't want to contribute to the appearance that it has legs. By the 3rd or 4th week, the next blockbuster will have opened and no one will be expecting it to do big business, and its success or failure will already have been judged.So, the motto for curious geeks: GO JOE (after a few weeks)!
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WAS TO HAVE HAD OLYPHANT AND TYRESE BE GIJOES IN THE TRANSFORMER MOVIE AND HAVE HAD THIER CHARACTERS LED INTO A GIJOE MOVIE. OLYPHANT COULD HAVE PLAYED EIHTER DUKE OR FLINT. WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT. BUT INSTEAD WE GET SHIT MY A SHITTY DIRECTOR WITH SHITTY ACTORS I COULD CARE LESS FOR.
AW WELL HOPEFULLY THEYLL REMAKE IT IN 2 YEARS. -
... what do you mean?!?! He simply jumped at a very specific angle and timed it perfectly. I mean, traffic cops do the same type of thing with radar guns every day, don't they? Yes, I'm being sarcastic, as you've got a point. But come on, isn't this movie coming from the same director who, in "The Mummy Returns" had Brendan Fraser's character outrunning the coming of dawn in a fashion that was also impossible (and this had nothing to do with the speed at which he ran). While I'll likely see this movie--- and like the fact that Summers is attempting to use something akin to the soldier suits that the first "Starship Troopers" movie blatantly ignored--- we may need to accept that physics failures are kinda' his motif.
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... you hadn't fucking screamed it at us. I mean, really, I know you're talking about Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers, but they scream enough at us. We don't need you pounding it into our skulls with your irresponisible pinky finger.
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I hope to God he is.
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Whoa, whoa, rewind here, you're "looking forward" to this one because the word on TRANSFORMERS 2 is "awful"?!? Er, did everybody collectively forget about the rampant rumor that Sommers was fired off of this turd after it tested worse than any other release so far this year? Or that they hired Stuart Baird in an attempt to salavge something in the editing room, only to discover that he couldn't even save it (and they then reneged and allowed Sommers to edit it, just so they didn't have to deal with a WOLVERINE-type "they locked me out of the editing room and ruined my vision" scenario)? And that now, everybody's quietly distancing themselves from the movie, which not only expected to ruin Sommers' career, but will pretty much kill the G.I. Joe franchise? Isn't that "generally awful" enough for you?
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That made it look even WORSE than the first trailer! This is a joke and a bad one at that. I literally feel sick to my stomach after seeing that putrid SHIT.
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Jun 20, 2009 11:30:07 PM CDT
"Do toy companies understand that this will hurt toy sales!?"
by ironic_name
you're an idiot.
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Jun 20, 2009 11:33:32 PM CDT
Really? Because I didn't see much realistic military weaponry or
by ironic_name
lasers. men in fluro suits. weather control. you're a moron.
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as a matter of fact it looks like the shittiest movie of the year hands down. Nothing is going to compare to this goat fuck. Nothing...
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who ever said it earlier was right on: Michael Bay WOULD be the perfect director for a GI JOE movie. Think about it- he genuinely goes out of his way to portray the military and military technology. He also blows shit up real nice, and often. He would do justice to the cartoon and the comic book.
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if there was a big sex scene with destro banging the baroness.
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CGI Joe!
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Those suits make them generic. Where's my parrot-wielding Shipwreck???!!!???
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PLEASE!!!!! You know they are going to make a Rock Band or Guitar Hero movie any day now.
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Is Guitar Hero a toy or a video game???
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... I didn't realize that the buzz was that bad. Still--- while this film looks to have a number of issues, the beauty of the green screen and non-linear editing is that, for the general audience, they can clean things up. They could start by re-editing anything like that silly scene where an accelerator-suit-wearing Wayans takes a non-armored villain through a wall. They could also ensure the movie has high-resonance music (Two Steps and Immediate Music always seem to be ready, if needed) and carefully execute whatever 4th of July marketing scheme they have. All of this could eventually improve its buzz. I'm not sure if this one is going to attract enough cash to guarantee any sequels (that will probably hinge on the ending), but we'll see.
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Um yeah I still dont know if I wanna see this when it comes out or wait for the $1.99 bin at Blockbuster to get it and see it.
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The whole creative team behind Clear and Present Danger. That's the kind of war movie most of us are looking for G.I.Joe to be.Clear and Present Danger, but with Ninjas.
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I don't know what to say. I know we all make fun of your opinions here all the time, but honestly, watching that trailer, I can't imagine a movie that I would be less inclined to see. That was TERRIBLE. It was like a parody that wasn't remotely funny. I wouldn't even want to waste the time it would take to sit in a chair and watch this. No offense, man, but I just can't wrap my brain around the concept that ANYONE who claims to enjoy movies would even pretend to enjoy the movie that this trailer advertises. There's optimism, and then there's delusion.
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Because too many folk can't stand QT and RR anymore. That is not to say that Del Toro is a fan favorite b/c he's not and Jackson fucked up Kong too.
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...of that clanging sound effect in the first 30 seconds. CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG...CLANG-CLANG...CLANG!
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is the poor man's Harrison Ford.
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dont worry about the suckiness. the opening credits include a message about turning off your brains, in case you forget to. so its really an amazing movie full of fun!
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Because there are so many serious postings on AICN regarding GI Joe and TF2, will there be mass suicides because both movies RIP IT SICK at the box office!?!?!
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I don't know anyone in the real world (don't know many here on the internets either) that think GI Joe looks good. Transformers, on the other hand, has a LOT of fans out here. Lots of them kids and teens, but lots of adults too. GI JOE, however, will probably attract a lot of kids and families, but I haven't met a single adult that thought it looked good or wanted to see it. I think JOE will definitely suffer at the box office bc it just looks so... so... terribly bad. The reviews won't help either. My prediction anyway.
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You have the wigger from Coach Carter, the slut from Amityville Horror, the retard from EVERY MOVIE HE'S BEEN IN, and the guy who fell off after Innerspace. GREAT! The only redeeming quality is Mr. Fucking Eko!
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He actually be decent to watch.
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Motherfucker never has lines! "At last we will have our revenge." That's the most he has ever said in a movie. He can jump around and kick and spin bows and shit, but acting...methinks not. Darth Maul could have kicked the shit out of Vader.
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He's been overdubbed for everything.
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for a while I've wondered why people can't ge.t these flicks "right", but actually.. they are. the source material is shit to begin with. 'village people shoot lasers at goons, noone dies' is a stupid idea.
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none of them die unless we want to sell new toys, they speak english and are humanoid. dumb idea.
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How much are they paying you? Holy shit.
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How much are they paying you? Holy shit.
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How much are they paying you? Holy shit.
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looks wretched!
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Jun 21, 2009 3:15:43 AM CDT
Oh man it's gonna suck- I can't freakin' wait!
by particularly hard vato
I mean seriously- it will be so bad. I really can't wait for this. GI Joe is a movie like when you eat something really bad - and you're like- "dude- this is terrible- here try this-" and then your buddy does and tells you how bad it is and takes another bite. Not sure why but their marketing works.
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Jun 21, 2009 3:19:22 AM CDT
This looks a hell of a lot better than Transformers.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
I'll probably check this out. Looks weird and fun. I can give a fuck about the G.I. Joe brand. People pretending the cartoons were good....what the fuck were you watching?
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Stuart Baird is finishing it.
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he would have did a far better job helming GIJ than that idiot Sommers.One (wether a fan or not) can easily dismiss this movie when comparing it to the Comics, the cartoon and especially the animated comicbook commercials.This is not the GIJoe.It's more like Super Joe but without the aliens.(A promising but failed toyline back in the late 70's)Fuck, at this point I'd rather have Paul WS anderson handle this shit than Scummers!
t praise this shitfest. (I hope not for their sakes..)
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That is all I hear when I see the Eiffle tower fall down. Isn't that all this G.I. Joe really is?
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Anyone pretending otherwise is delusional. This looks to be the closest adaptation of a cartoon ever, and people are crying. And watch some of them say good things about Trans2! HA!
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that looks extremely gay!
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pass the pipe bro!
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Jun 21, 2009 4:53:25 AM CDT
"I cannot wait to see" HOBBIT, this? Not so much...
by zombieheathledger
There's hype and then there's sad. Harry has seen A LOT of movies, a lot of really GOOD movies, and he's seeing the same trailers as we are, and he says he "really cannot wait to see this." ::scratches head:: For real, Harry?
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the REAL G.I. Joe: ARAH, which was the Larry Hama comic book series.
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already looks better than anything I've seen from Transformers 2.
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it's a solid 8/10 for a summer popcorn movie. better than wolverine, and i reckon better than T4 as well.
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I can enjoy a crazy brainless movie and have a REALLY good time. Sometimes movies just make me feel like a 12 year old kid again. I hope this one does that...
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Oh yah, that's the same GI Joe I'm talking about. The 12" 'action figure' was what my brother had. It's from the same 'Kung Foo Grip' era. Nothing about these goofy '80's 3 inch 'Cobra Commander' toon knock-offs. Is the movie faithful(har har) to the toon or the toys? I give the Same reply as I do about Big Robots Hitting Each Other(Once More)-Who Fucking Cares?? Does the movie look fun-I donno. It's awfully video-gamey. At least w/ Bay-Already seen the first one, so-knowing what I'm getting going in, I'll sit back and be inundated w/ exploding Robots for 2 hours and get my money's worth. This-it's Team America.
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I remember digging the first part of the trailer, and thinking "ok, it won't be good, but maybe I'm part of that target audience who will enjoy it for nostalgia's sake." And then I hear, "Here are your new power suits" followed by a deluge of "poor man's Iron Man" F/X sequences.
Sigh. -
...generates very little Megaforce talk. That's a great DVD waiting to happen. They should take a page from the "Krull" DVD and jam it full of all the marketing stuff that came out with the film. Megaforce was meant to be a cultural/sequel force, so there were fan clubs, video games, mattel cars, etc. When the film bombed, it all blew up in their face. It would be pretty fun to document all the stuff there was.
Remember: the good guys *always* win. Even in the 80's. -
MST3K style.
http://tinyurl.com/m22r32
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1. The characters. 2. The vehicles. Those are the only things they need to get right. Although I agree I'm looking for the mix-and-match military uni's, too. And I have a sinking feeling Harry has already formed an opinion on TF2, despite not having seen it. Way to think for yourself, pal.
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Clowns. The source is a toyline, a cartoon, and comic book mostly designed around them. How much more would we be laughing if they made it like Saving Private Ryan and called it GIJoe?
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... can someone tell me how that movie came to cost so much to make? I remember seeing the ads in the comic books, but never saw it at the cinema (this discussion has led me to request the VHS version from the local library, though). The Wikipedia page has its budget somewhere are $20 million and, having read its description & heard the jokes about it, can't figure out how that came to be. Can anyone help, here? Also... the accellerator suits are rooted in a good amount of current military research--- despite the fact that this movie has taken to concept to a rather absurd destination. Makes me wonder if Sommers had any true gearheads in the inner circle for this project.
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Jun 21, 2009 8:07:57 AM CDT
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MARLON WAYANS, THIS LOOKS BADASS
by ayatollahsexyback
I hope Baird edits him the fuck out completely. He's the ONLY problem with this movie.
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That would give you a taste of how the movie would be so much better without him. He sucks the goodness right out.
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Jun 21, 2009 8:17:07 AM CDT
WHY GIVE A BILLION DOLLAR ROBOSUIT TO THE IDIOT BUFFOON?
by ayatollahsexyback
This could've been so much better with Jason Statham in that suit. Can you imagine the asskickery? Instead we get Marlon fucking Wayans? WTF
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Ayatollah... you're kidding, right?
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Jun 21, 2009 8:19:01 AM CDT
ALSO, TAKE OUT THE SLO-MO TEAM WALKING TOWARDS THE CAMERA SHOT
by ayatollahsexyback
That is so fucking played out and cliched.
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I wouldn't say it would be the *perfect* movie without him, but it would be a grand improvement for sure.
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Methinks it would be total war in your skull with both the Ayatollah and Chaim fighting for prominence.
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for all of those interested in this film, why not have a section where the chaps can upload images of the printouts they have done of scenes from the film and wanked on them?
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That isn't cliched, it can still be done well, look at O-Ren Ishii and her people walking towards the camera in Kill Bill vol 1. I know that was in 2003 but still that's relatively recent.
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I guess it also has to do with the editing and the music.
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Jun 21, 2009 9:30:55 AM CDT
One word comes to mind when I see this trailer
by my friends call me killjoy
Oh, God, NO...WTF!?
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Chaim and I are best buds, thanks to Barack Sexyback.
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Jun 21, 2009 10:40:20 AM CDT
Harry, I think you meant to say "Looks awful; NOT like GI Joe"
by jabman
completely understandable typo. I don't see ANYTHING that looks remotely like GI JOE 'cept Snake Eyes (hard to fuck up) And Barroness LOOKS right, but wheres that sexy "Moose and Squirrel" accent? They, and the green Chick from Star Trek are gonna be the only things worth watching in this pile...
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Fuck that noise - The Rock is fantastic. Genuinely good. But Bay is a putz of a director who somehow has gone BACKWARDS in quality.
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You're one of the worst writers I have ever come across online. I mean that sincerely.
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I wonder if this line makes it in the international trailer. The rest of the world hates that kind of shit. and you wonder why is there no Captain America movie? Action Force!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1RBEqRt52Y -
Also they made them super heroes not soldiers.
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... these are not my generation's G.I. Joe. (Yes, old fart here... but not as old as the originals withOUT the kung fu grip!) Little tiny 5" action figures with super hero costumes and COBRA? Fake!
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A movie based on a toy looks dumb...Who would have thought?
Not trying to sound like Dr. Cool, but it boggles my mind that anyone over the age of 10 would give a shit about this movie. -
I'd recognize how atrocious this thing looks.
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Because Brad Pitt sucks.
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But it might have the decency to do so in an amusing way, unlike Transformers 2, which sucked in a boring way. Plus this has Christopher Ecclestone in it, so there's at least one thing worthwhile there.
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its going to be hilarious. I fully plan on seeing this really hung over.
"this is General Hawk! Mission is a go!", made me laugh my ass off -
Micheal Bay movies are guaranteed entertainment, whether they are "good" movies or not
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you have the weirdest fucking taste in movies.
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How the FUCK did THIS trailer make you more excited for this movie than transformers? That was essentially exactly the same as the first trailer except with a couple added scenes that were supposed to be funny.
That was seriously one of the worst trailers I have ever scene. I will actually probably see this movie and it looks like it could be fun but what you just wrote about this trailer and how excited you are for this movie just sounds ridiculous. 90% of your posts seem like some weird april fools joke Harry. -
Seriously. If this was a remake/re-imagining of MEGAFORCE I don't think anyone here would have a problem with it. It would fit the original films tone and style and I think many of us would be pumped to see it because it would be a re-interpretation of a cheesy low-budget movie into a now cheesy big budget movie.
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seriously man...stop writing articles.
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i suddenly have so. much. more. respect for all you guys.
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I'll definitely pass, on this one.
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Are you surprised he's shilling for the movie that looks like shit and bagging on the good-reviewed Transformers 2?
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I thought it was going to be an accurate portrayal of the origins of the GI Joe character, as in the World War II "Joe". I was soon sorely disappointed to learn it would be the 80s revisited character, but updated even more to the muddled fantasy we have to look forward to now. I guess I can blame it all on Transformers.
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Paramount to use his positive quote in the ads for this shit-storm, since every legit critic out there is going to tear this film a new asshole. And the only critics who will have anything positive to say that's quotable are the ones from Bum-fuck Nowheresville who enjoy a free trip to Hollywood through an all-expenses paid press junket. I knew I missed my calling.
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Jun 21, 2009 10:02:48 PM CDT
village people can't shoot aka gijoe was a terrible cartoon
by ironic_name
if you think otherwise you are a nazi.
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Jun 21, 2009 10:04:48 PM CDT
kolchak, did you recognize how atrocious the cartoon was ?
by ironic_name
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Jun 21, 2009 11:09:56 PM CDT
So Smartty*ucks, whats your idea of a GREAT G.I. JOE Movie?
by zardozap2005
Really, what is all this shit you fucking whiners/haters are saying such negative crap about G.I. JOE THE MOVIE? It was originally a TOY that was turned into a COMIC BOOK and then a CARTOON SERIES for LITTLE KIDS. All the cartoon episodes are CORNY AS HELL. The comic was slightly more restrained, but it too was CORNY AS HELL. It was all aimed at little kids. What is your idea of a GOOD G.I. JOE movie? Do you want Cobra to do something Al Queda-ish and realistic-like? Then the Joe guys can capture Baroness and waterboard her naked for a while, just to make it more realistic. And of course they would all have to wear the exact same outfits they did in the cartoon, and talk exactly the same way, all stereotyped and such, because that would make it so much more modern and realistic. You worthless mouth breathing asshats don't possess 1/1000th of the imagination to even write a movie, let alone judge one based on a couple of trailers. Honestly, not many TB's make me mad, but the ignorant fucks in this one take it.
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Set it during World War II. Have an elite squad of Joes during the war. Film it like Band of Brothers. Cobra could have been a secret division of Hitler's army. It could have been like the Dirty Dozen.
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Because this is a total drop of the ball. I mean how do you fuck up GI Joe with all its source material that is 25 years worth.
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begins with showing Cobra, as a merc organization which rose to power by hiring out mercs to various sides of third world conflicts, while providing the training and spec ops personel in the form of highly trained Mercs such as Major Bludd formerly of the Aussie SAS and the assassins Zartan and Storm shadow, saboture Firefly, demo expert Scrap Iron. Each goes in country with a stable of mercs (Vipers/Blue Shirts). They serve as force multipliers training back water militias and tribal forces into truely dangerous fighting units in exchange for Cobra, through a front company (Braco I think the comics called it, headed by “the Twins”), getting rights to exploit the natural resources of the country once the Cobra backed regime takes power, in addition to their standard fee. This gives Cobra a massive income stream. Cobra works with the MARS corp. headed by Destro a Scottish expat arms manufacturer banned by EU for openly selling affordable small scale weaponry such as HISS tanks and FANG assault choppers to the Cobra backed factions at a discount, thus linking Cobra and MARS in a cabal to basically feed off of fostering third world conflicts such as Rwanda and Darfur into full scale wars that threaten entire regional stability. Cobra Commander is the shadowy head of this cabal seconded by the Baroness, who is romantically involved with Destro. The Baroness is a former German radical and member of old nobility connected to terrorism since college, say 35 to 40. Destro has taken his families generations old arms manufacturing firm off the grid after failing be awarded contracts through legitimate sources due to questionable ethics, finding the freedom to develop ever more lethal weaponry at cost for Cobra, he is a man of mixed principals neither wholly evil or good, believing war is man’s natural state and living by his own code of honor. Cobra is not ideologically based; they exist for profit which they attain through mayhem not world domination.
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Flying motorcycles not generally considered a sign of quality.
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Started when Gen. Flagg recruits Hawk still a Col. after he has left Spec Forces for some time. Hawk while in Delta saw the link to Cobra in several third world conflicts the US was secretly involved in. He tried to warn the higher ups in the Joint Chiefs when he saw that Cobra was beginning to dabble interest with terrorist groups. Hawk’s connection is dismissed as there is no solid proof of the existence of Cobra. Hawk and Flagg had proposed the formation of what he called a Global Interdiction Joint Operations Expeditionary (GIJOE) Team, composed of specialists from all branches of the US armed forces to be an off the books black ops team to investigate and dismantle Cobra by any means necessary. The disillusioned Hawk is approach by his mentor Flagg some years later after the existence of Cobra is verified and assessed to be a true threat to US interests. Hawk is allowed to pick the team he begins with his old top kicks from Delta and his Green Beret days, Duke and Stalker....who recommends Snake Eyes the team builds to a dozen or so. The JOEs give up their military commissions and go totally off book, listed as employees of various security firms with US contracts. They basically disappear off the grid allowed only tenuous links to friends and family. These are solid roles; humor may come from their interactions with one another and banter, but not slapstick. These are real people; they bleed and get hurt; they kill. They wear whatever gear or kit suits the mission, nothing more high tech in appearance than the standard Spec ops stuff today. They are off the books, so they will not have to look like standard GI's but won't look like Dark Knight/Iron Man hybrids to be sure. They are given access to as much state of the art and experimental weaponry as needed to accomplish the mission. No one knows that they exist outside of the Generals which procure their funding, "the Jugglers" and the Joint Chiefs and the President. Due to the invasive nature of sending US Armed forces onto foreign soil most missions are Executive Order.
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It seems like this argument that if a movie was developed from a comic book/cartoon/video game then it should be geared towards kids. I can't say that the argument isn't a valid one but it seems like the real argument is the question of what constitutes writing/direction that caters to kids. I want to try to simplify this as much as possible by simple example. Movies such as "Street Fighter"/"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li", "Dragon Ball Z", "Tekken" and "Speed Racer" are examples of movies that are considered to be bad because they were catered to kids. The reality is that they were bad because they questioned even kids intelligence. They lacked any depth (believe it or not kids can handle depth), had watered down action and obviously were made strictly to capitalize on a pre-existing fan base. Now let's look at movies like "The Dark Knight", "Iron Man", "The Incredible Hulk", "X-Men" and even "Kung Fu Hustle". These are all films that were also based on "kid themed" projects and although one could argue what was better or worse, they all are in a league far superior to that of the prior mentioned films. Not because they had more adult themed content but because they were produced with the obvious intention of creating a good film with mostly pre-existing material. The fact that people can look at the G.I. Joe trailers and already determine that it won't be very good is indicative of the fact that a)the marketing for this film is not going well and b) there aren't even two minutes of content that can hide the obvious. The fact that the movie looks poorly produced to many viewers comes from having experienced enough "phone it in" franchise movies over the past couple of decades and frankly they should be applauded for being in a time when their voice can be heard even prior to a movies release to avoid even more projects like it to come down the pipe. Some would say, "wait to see it before you decide" but frankly why should I? That's the entire reason for the month's long ad campaign that movies go through in order to sell me on wanting to "see more". If you can't do that with only a few moments of your film set to cool music and an awesome voice over then you don't deserve my money (hey there's still cable airing). Assuming that both "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" are going to be as shameful as they both look to me I can say that the real easy way to fix the problems that are obvious even in the previews would be to trust that if they take "kid themed" projects and give them a direction even comparable to "Chronicles of Narnia", "Pans Labrynth" or "Lord of the Rings". Hopefully if nothing else, this "for kids" argument can finally be put in its proper place in understanding the difference between quality "kid themed movies" and movies made to cash in on a brand and run.
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is one of the best two part episodes of anything. Shipwreck is my favorite Joe.
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JOE begins to uncover the links to Cobra through insertion into conflicts around the globe, eventually capturing Major Bludd who spills the beans about an island off the coast of Africa which serves as a regional headquarters for Cobra. JOEs go into action launching an assault on "Cobra Island" backed by the US Navy and Marines (the standard JOE team is mostly army so this gives some love to the other branches) Joes kick ass Cobra Commander is captured Destro, Zartan, Baroness, Storm Shadow escape. CC is unmasked (unseen)at the JOEs HQ the Pit, but is not known to Interpol and there are no records matching his face, prints, DNA, etc in any system anywhere in the world...He truly is a ghost. They know no more about who he is than they did when they caught him and he's not talking. The Pit is then raided full scale by Cobra to retrieve their commander, (there will be a very witty way that he was tracked and the Pit discovered). Zartan and Storm Shadow infiltrate the base during the attack to save CC. Bludd is killed by Storm shadow for his betrayal, then confronted by Snake Eyes NINJA FIGHT. SS escapes but not until Snake see the Arishikage tat on SS's forearm. SS escapes. Alone Snake rolls up his sleeve to reveal the same tat...NOTHING ELSE IS SAID the mystery will be revealed in the sequel. Zartan goes for CC and is confronted by Hawk and Gen Flagg who were locked down in the prison wing when the attack started, Hawk is wounded in the fight with Zartan who then approaches the cell as HAWK, for first time showing his metamorphic ability, Flagg allows him in and is incapacitated, only to be murdered in cold blood by Cobra Commander himself. The two villains escape. The movie ends with the JOEs defeated, their leader dead, and a shaken Hawk now in command, they want payback. They now know Cobra is much stronger than they ever thought possible, and they are still out there somewhere. THAT IS MY IDEA OF A GOOD JOE MOVIE Zardozap2005. What do you think?
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I know, I know... I changes some stuff and stream lined a bit of the mythology, so sue me. But that is infinitely more close to the source material than the shitfest coming our way in August. People die violent deaths many by Snake Eyes, who I see more as a whirling death dealing fury of edged weapons and machine guns all going at once than a straight up ninja until confronted by Storm Shadow at the end. I like the idea of saving the ninja origin arch and ladling it out in small doses the way Larry Hamma did it. I want to see Cobra based in reality, not over the top cartoonishness. America knew they were out there, but did nothing because they were someone else’s problem until they started aiding terror, then we got our panties in a twist. Hawk is disillusioned by the whole process, but believes in what he is doing and believes in his men. The team is just well trained Spec forces operators and Intel personnel like Scarlett. The roster is Duke(Delta), Stalker(Green Berets), Doc(Army), Snake Eyes(Delta), Scarlett(CIA), Gung Ho(USMC), Flint(Ranger WO), Rip Cord(Ranger), Roadblock(Ranger), Torpedo(Navy SEAL), Breaker(Green Beret), Rock ‘n Roll(Ranger).
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Summers is a fucking joke.
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FILM EDITINGSOUND MIXINGVISUAL EFFECTSAnd Inglorious will be nominated for ZEEEEEEEEEERO.
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Jun 22, 2009 12:58:36 AM CDT
Why the fuck would you want to see a realistic Joe movie?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
So that would be just like uhhhhhhh The Expendables, right? Jesus Christ-- thank fuck you don't run a studio. Every fucking kids film would be a serious action/thriller. Sounds fun.
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...of what we all grew up with. In 10 years when the kids today are reflecting on all the remakes of things we loved they'll comment on how bad it all was. It's really, really sad. They've have the remakes, and never want to see the original stuff because the remake was so bad.
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Jun 22, 2009 1:11:14 AM CDT
New flash for Transformers and G.I. Joe fans....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...the originals were all fucking shit. I don't know what the fuck you people are on....but really-- it was always shit. My problem with Bay's films is the fact that there is not a single likable human being on screen. G.I. Joe features Dennis Quaid, so I don't think they'll have that same problem.
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Its more the fact that the original cartoons were shit, and to be honest-- this looks better.
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were semi-serious action thrillers I'd have a hell of a lot more fun taking my kid to the movies. I said in here the other day that kids today have a different perspective than we did. My son has more fun playing Call of Duty than playing with Joes and I totally get why: He is the hero/soldier in first person he's shooting the bad guys, completing the mission. He gets less out of action figures because it lacks that first person contact (and requires more imagination, but don't get me started). I have said from the get go Hasbro would have done better to make this as a serious action flick and play to the nostalgia of our generation than try to push product to kids who have other interests today than we did. They need to face it; the 80's sales figures on the GI Joes ain't coming back, but they could have made twice the bank on a more adult based Joe movie franchise than a kid based one. Now don’t get me wrong some things should be kid oriented of course, but Joe would have faired better if it were developed for the generation that collected the original toys than the generation who ignore the current ones.
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you got dickblood all over my childhood. Thanks.
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Outstanding! That's exactly what it should have been. With Snake Eyes as a commando with goggles. The visor is moronic.
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The comic released by Marvel that was writen by Larry Hamma, utter kick ass. That's the Joe I loved. That's the Joe I imagineed when I played with my toys as a kid. The Cartoon was just an extended toy commercial.
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Than the cartoon? Come on man, I don't buy that for a second.
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It's what he says when he just can't get his lips off the corporate glans long enough to admit a film is shit.
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(suspensful music)...Narrator: "It comes from the depths of a garbage can, smelling like wet vinyl and daring kids to stick it up their nose and act like they blew a giant booger, it's.....GREEEEEEN SLIIIIIIME!!....Coming soon to a theater near you."
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I LOVE YOU. I HATE that this movie will completely kill the dream that we will ever be able to see anything as cool as that would be. I could have been relatvely happy with a lighter, kid oriented tone if they hadn't put the nails in the coffin with Marlon, power suits, and a complete lack of identity for every Joe except Snake Eyes. As is, I expect there will be maybe 15 minutes of cool ninja fighting that will make my mind wonder at what could have been and about 80 minutes of pure crap. Those who say there is no good material to be mined hered either never paid enough attention to it in the first place or have a complete lack of imagination. Just because the cartoon was not always the best quality does not mean that the ideas within could not be used to create a fantastic film. All it would take is to layer up the good things and remove some of the more hokey ones... instead they have completely focused on doing the exact opposite, and I'm pretty sure they will pay for it.
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Fucking right. American hero. Now we have to be sensitive and diplomatic...what ever happened to Americans getting pissed off and blowing shit skyhigh with the stars and stripes waving in the background? Red Dawn style. The clowns in this flick probably go through sensitivity training and fight only defensively under a fucking UN flag being careful not to kill people. What happened to the ass-kicking USA we used to know and hate?
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Baroness: Years pass, lives in Europe full time, develops accent like Madonna has in england. Is mocked by Duke for it when they meet again.
Duke: Older and more mature, events of the first move make him the leader we all remember... and he gets a uniform that resembles the scheme of his 80's counterpart.
Commander: As his health problems/maniacal tendencies unfold... his need for more technologically extravagant outfits increases. Battle Helmet anyone?
Heavy Duty: Dies... is replaced by Roadblock as the heavy weapons expert. Played by President Camacho himself... Terry Crews.
Scarlett: Gets with Snake Eyes and otherwise continues to look hot.
Snake Eyes: Gets better pants, or at least a less molded on armor/top... and his visor is improved.
Destro: Cant take off his mask... pimps out his outfit.
Storm Shadw: Loses the trenchcoat.
Breaker: Dies so we can get another good replacement.
Ripcord: Gets full body vitiligo, loses his second in command spot to Flint.
Hawk: Gets crippled and stops wearing his really dumb outfit.
Covergirl: DIES, and her retarded outfit goes with her.
Zartan: Uses his powers of disguise to turn himself into Jason Statham.
Now throw in a little Shipwreck here (Knoxville), and a little Flint there (Marsden), and of course some heaping helpings of Lady J's cleavage (Rodriguez)... and we got a winner.
Accelerator suit prototypes being destroyed in the first movie of course.
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So I don't know what people are complaining about. (not that Iron Man was all that good, but it's a decent distraction)
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Join the "Drag Me To Hell" talkback!
http://tinyurl.com/ll7s4p
http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/40453
(remove the AICN spaces) -
Jun 22, 2009 9:00:17 AM CDT
I've been saying this since this was announced
by grammaton cleric binks
GI Joe movie based on comic will be cool. GI Joe movie based on cartoon will suck.
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...I watched it a little bit, but never got into the military ass kicking sort of stuff. I was more into fanciful shit. I've watched a few episodes recently and they were fucking horrible. And I pretty much still love cheesy 80's cartoons. I think they have a lot of charm. Joe was just fucking stupid. I'm not familiar with the comic, so if thats what people are basing their opinions on I have no fucking comment.
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Jun 22, 2009 9:42:50 AM CDT
And to me this looks like Mortal Kombat kinda fun....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
....yeah its corny, but its got a high fun factor and replay value. It looks like this will be similar.
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The other half is, apparently, EPICLY FAILING ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL.
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Will no one EVER die?
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That is the sound of a franchise jumping the shark.
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You heard it here first.
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But I really wish they didn't have the token funny black guy making Will Smith jokes throughout it. Marlon Wayans should not be allowed to ruin my favorite franchise growing up.
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That virtually nothing people enjoyed when they were younger would have escaped unscathed from this hellhole of negativity. Cripes I watched Ghostbusters the other night and all I could think about was how it would have been utterly destroyed by the people that think they carry the prevailing opinion on all this stuff these days. The disconnect is that someplace along the line the fan mindset doesn't allow ANYTHING to exist for kids older than like 6 or 7 years old. They will give a pass to animated stuff and obviously little kid directed stuff like Handy Manny or Dora but if you want to hit boys in the 8-12 range you better cede your ground to these mouth breathing fools that want every kid property from their youth fetishized and transported to modern day unchanged except for how much it is injected with post-Tarantino hyper violence and probably, where possible, erotica (or the suggestion of it). You people are goddam nuts. My brother and I loved Joe (the toys, the cartoon, the comics) as kids and how these trailers deviate so radically from what it was then is self delusional fiction, concocted by whimpering children that think they became men but never did.
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Normally I am in FULL agreement with you... the level of whining and negativity that goes around on this forum is pathetic. Watchmen and Star Trek are fantastic movies the the jackasses on this site have to nitpick to death. Transformers is pretty cool (but then not being a fan of them growing up I'm not tied to their original story). However, in this case, they have really screwed the pooch.
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seriously I may sound like a raging fanboy when I say this but you have to at least know it's partly true now. We fucking need James Cameron back now. We can't let shitty assholes like Sommers and Bay give us summer blockbusters anymore. Quit being stubborn Dickblood and company. You vouched for McG's Terminator 4 and look where that got you.
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I think it comes down to whether the movie "feels" like the source material. Transformers for all its problems felt like Transformers. It’s hard to not feel the awe of watching giant robots beat each other to scrap. GI Joe doesn't "feel" like GI Joe, quite the opposite it feels like the direction and visuals and even casting were intended to ignore the feel of the franchise. To be fair though I think it is near impossible to make everyone happy with franchise like TF and Joe, because as they come from toys and childhood properties they "feel" different to everyone, because when a toy is concerned you made up the stories when you played with them... I was a kid that read the comic and was allowed to watch movies like Die Hard and Rambo so I always had a more action based idea of how Joe should feel, what I wrote above will probably not make someone who genuinely wanted a more cartoonish version happy, but in looking at most of the posts I think most old fans of the RAH Joes wanted that feel of a more grounded action flick that didn't pander to the toy/cartoon side of the subject matter. It’s just my opinion, my take on it. Sure, it’s easy to say it’s based on a toy, but those of us who played with those toys are grown now, and I just think the idea should have matured a little along with us, Sommers didn't go that way and I think therein lies the hate and venom directed at the movie. They really only latched on to the weaker elements of the mythology and bled off the parts that would have appealed to the original fanbase. I just think it was a misstep conceptually and a great missed opportunity. There was a better movie to be made than what we are getting and people feel cheated by that. My posts above were a response to someone saying great you all whine, but give nothing constructive about how it could be better and that is valid. I just wanted to show my bitching about this from day one was based on my own reservations about this not feeling like JOE. I think we should try more constructive criticism in the TBs and show how we think it could be better, maybe someone in a position to make real change can see something early on enough in the production of a film and go, “Yeah, I see where that would work better.” Sadly for GI Joe the rise of Cobra it is already far too late.
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Jun 22, 2009 1:02:50 PM CDT
so what about JGL? He's Cobra Commander, right?
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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No one including me wanted or expected the Joes to look like they did in the comic or cartoon, but they did want them to look individual from one another, Resolute for all its problems did a good job of modernizing the look of the Joes. Cobra Commander had a very simple and very iconic look, the hood was a statement, as was the mirrored helmet, to lose those elements that were so associated to the character would have been tantamount to Lucas remaking the look of Vader in Revenge of the Sith, Destro fits here as well. Making the Joes look like the same robs them of individuality that is needed for a team based flick, and the obvious Iron Man rip off with the accelerator suits is beyond needless. These guys are badass, but not superheroes. To make them so lessens them. They are regular joes forced into a situation where the extraordinary is required to remove that by giving them a cheat like the suits lessens them and makes them less heroic to me. It is a major break in the "feel" of the material.
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I have no complaints about that, good actor that could have gone nuts if he was free to play the role in a truly threatening way, CC is explosive and unstable like Gary Oldman in the professional without the drugs. He is a briliant, vicious bastard, but at the same time a coward that only unleashes his personal lethalness when his victim is helpless to fight back or he is backed into a corner with no other option, but to save his own ass. Most of the time he uses others to do the dirty work. He instills loyalty by playing to his follwers fear and want of riches. Cobra troopers are well paid mercs who get a percentage of the profits and know he won't hesitate to have any of them killed if they screw him over. JGL I think had the chops to pull that off. Especially if his youth was hidden behind a mask.
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Jun 22, 2009 1:56:33 PM CDT
Harry you are fucking retarded if you are dying to see that
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
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This looks fun, I remember playing in my friends' backyard, we used to set up all our figures in different places throughout the yard and take turns demolishing our lines of defense. Then we'd do all crazy things with the Joes...My cousin and I used to sit out front and sacrifice the lame ones, or the ones with the busted croches by melting them with a lighter!!!! that was awesome..
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The toys were designed for kids and the comics and cartoons followed suit. All for kids. Grow up, gang. Leave childhood things behind you. There are comics-based movies that have adult levels, but you're not going to get that from TF or this.
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yes there is LOADS of whining on this site, but overall WATCHMEN and STAR TREK had loads of supporters. I think the way people are reacting to BAYFORMERS is pretty respecatable. I don't want my summer blockbusters to be that soulless - do you?
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but does this film show any large testicles? Being a testicles addict that's all I want to know.
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I just know we'd have seen some testicles. I'll be really disappointed if this film doesn't have any testicles. I'll be angry too.
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Does this film feature big testicles?! It's a simple enough question!
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Jun 22, 2009 3:45:55 PM CDT
The original 80's Ripcord action figure looked like Ralph Malph
by orionsangels
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That says a lot.
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That says a lot.
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That's the question I want answered.
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Jun 22, 2009 4:41:50 PM CDT
If there aren't testicles in this film
by edgarwrights_testiclesobsession
I won't waste my money on it. I'll just go and watch Transformers - Revenge Of The Fallen again. At least that gives me a fix of testicles action. I prefer human testicles obviously but if robot testicles are all that's on offer I'll take it. I just love testicles.
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I've been looking forward to this movie ever since I heard Stephen Sommers was directing. I've probably seen The Mummy like, 30 times since it came out over 10 years ago. The guy knows how to make a fun summer blockbuster, and since I grew up with the GI Joe in the late 80's and early 90's, this is one of my top anticipated movies of the year. Hopefully Sommers can do for GI Joe what Michael Bay did for Transformers!
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And think we are overreacting about a toy, please go back and read previous GI Joe talkbacks where many us explain the history of the characters and the genius of Larry Hama. I for one am sick of repeating myself each TB.
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If anyone thinks that the trailer fror this look like G.I.Joe then thay only remember the cheesy parts of the 80's cartoon but even the cartoon didn't have stupid slapstick humor. If you want to watch something that looks like G.I.Joe and respects both the cartoon and the comic from the 80's watch G.I.Joe Resolute. This might be a fun summer movie but it doesn't look like G.I.Joe.
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WTF is this shit? It's bad enough that it's blatant terrorist propaganda and brainwashing, but it's gotta suck unwashed balls, too?
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Mr. FTW... the 80's cartoon didn't have slapstick humor? What do you think was at work when they had an entire squad of Cobra soldiers standing in line as they waited to file for unemployment? While wearing their Cobra uniforms. Which they previously wore during the commission of international crimes. Okay, that was the exception to the rule--- but still. Would you rather have slapstick humor, or the "Weather Dominator?" LOL.
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I think you have that mixed up with Battlestar Galactica - when they reached (modern day) Earth - I believe it is commonly referred to as Galactica:80
repeat-
Megaforce: NO FLYING MOTORCYCLES
BSG: FLYING MOTORCYCLES
by the way... -
motorcycle.
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I was never a fan of G.I. Joe as a kid for some reason, so maybe that's why this trailer didn't grab me like I'd hoped. The vehicle designs look good, the action competent, and Dennis Quaid is always the man, but the Eiffel Tower falling over is silly (even for kids) and the Iron Man-wannabe suits strike me as a wannabe contrivance. Maybe the execs should cut bait and just call the film "Iron Suits" or even "Iron Men"? Seems like that's what they actually want.
Then I read this film was made by Stephen Sommers...
Which means it'll make money, but a lot less than the studio was hoping for. It means the critics will eviscerate it, and with good reason. And it means, ultimately, that it'll be a totally bland, forgettable movie.
But if Harry likes it for the boy in him, that's cool. I can respect that. -
http://tinyurl.com/2c6hbu
The more I watch these clips the more I think it is Megaforce it is based on. -
looks good
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... is that they could possibly re-make it for less money than the original project cost, and probably bring in a larger profit.
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