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Mr. Beaks Survives The Crystal Lake Massacres!
Beaks here...
Last night, I headed out to The Bungalow Club in Hollywood to attend a release party for the brand new, extras-packed DVDs for FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING and FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES. This is the second round of reissues (the first batch arrived back in February prior to the opening of the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake), but these releases look to be much more fan-friendly than the first three thanks to the efforts of producer Daniel Farrands, who contributed to the discs a clever little mockumentary titled "The Crystal Lake Massacres Revisited".
Clocking in at around an hour (and broken up into three parts), Farrands's film purports to examine Crystal Lake's alarming, Detroit-like murder rate spike during the 1980s. Featuring interviews with experts, conspiracy theorists, townies, family members of the victims, and garden variety wackos, the mockumentary is largely a spot-the-reference contest that's more rewarding the more you know about the FRIDAY THE 13TH movies (and horror movies in general). There are cameos from filmmakers like Stuart Gordon and Tom Holland (who plays a gentleman named "Charles Brewster"), and lots of amusing ideas about who carried out this killing spree. Some rationally argue it was a rash of copycat killings; others wildly assert it was all carried out by an unstoppable murder machine named Jason Voorhees. While it was fun watching some of my online colleagues stretch their acting muscles to play the part of Crystal Lake know-it-alls, the highlight for me was the Reggie the Reckless memorial rap (with Staci Layne Wilson's robot dancing tribute to Violet running a very close second).
While some may bristle at the thought of triple-dipping on FRIDAY THE 13TH movies, at least Paramount has spent some money to make it worthwhile for the fans. Along with the mockumentary, there are new featurettes and, for THE FINAL CHAPTER (my personal favorite in the series), a fan commentary from horror directors Joe Lynch (WRONG TURN 2) and Adam Green (HATCHET). Thankfully, I skipped the last box set, so I don't mind upgrading from the first set of bare-bones releases (though I might wait until I get a Blu-ray player to pick these up - and, by the way, the first three movies just became available on BD, which means IV, V and VI are probably three months away).
Wanna see some pictures from the party? Sure you do!
No, I didn't ask Shavar Ross if he's been bicycle shopping recently.
It's Camilla and Carey More from THE FINAL CHAPTER! Guess which one of these lovely ladies danced with Crispin Glover.
That's Vincent Guastaferro on the left telling Brian Collins (of the must-read Horror Movie a Day) and some asshole with a pasty, bloated face (me) how he uses his performance as Officer Pastore in SHOCKER to teach his acting students how to be brilliant. By the way, Universal, when you're ready to do a fan commentary for your badly-needed SHOCKER Special Edition, start with Mr. Collins. By the way, that's David Kagen aka Sheriff Garris with his hand on Mr. Guastaferro's shoulder.
FRIDAY THE 13TH IV, V and VI are available for purchasing at the retailer of your choice.
Clocking in at around an hour (and broken up into three parts), Farrands's film purports to examine Crystal Lake's alarming, Detroit-like murder rate spike during the 1980s. Featuring interviews with experts, conspiracy theorists, townies, family members of the victims, and garden variety wackos, the mockumentary is largely a spot-the-reference contest that's more rewarding the more you know about the FRIDAY THE 13TH movies (and horror movies in general). There are cameos from filmmakers like Stuart Gordon and Tom Holland (who plays a gentleman named "Charles Brewster"), and lots of amusing ideas about who carried out this killing spree. Some rationally argue it was a rash of copycat killings; others wildly assert it was all carried out by an unstoppable murder machine named Jason Voorhees. While it was fun watching some of my online colleagues stretch their acting muscles to play the part of Crystal Lake know-it-alls, the highlight for me was the Reggie the Reckless memorial rap (with Staci Layne Wilson's robot dancing tribute to Violet running a very close second).
While some may bristle at the thought of triple-dipping on FRIDAY THE 13TH movies, at least Paramount has spent some money to make it worthwhile for the fans. Along with the mockumentary, there are new featurettes and, for THE FINAL CHAPTER (my personal favorite in the series), a fan commentary from horror directors Joe Lynch (WRONG TURN 2) and Adam Green (HATCHET). Thankfully, I skipped the last box set, so I don't mind upgrading from the first set of bare-bones releases (though I might wait until I get a Blu-ray player to pick these up - and, by the way, the first three movies just became available on BD, which means IV, V and VI are probably three months away).
Wanna see some pictures from the party? Sure you do!
No, I didn't ask Shavar Ross if he's been bicycle shopping recently.
It's Camilla and Carey More from THE FINAL CHAPTER! Guess which one of these lovely ladies danced with Crispin Glover.
That's Vincent Guastaferro on the left telling Brian Collins (of the must-read Horror Movie a Day) and some asshole with a pasty, bloated face (me) how he uses his performance as Officer Pastore in SHOCKER to teach his acting students how to be brilliant. By the way, Universal, when you're ready to do a fan commentary for your badly-needed SHOCKER Special Edition, start with Mr. Collins. By the way, that's David Kagen aka Sheriff Garris with his hand on Mr. Guastaferro's shoulder.
FRIDAY THE 13TH IV, V and VI are available for purchasing at the retailer of your choice.
That's Vincent Guastaferro on the left telling Brian Collins (of the must-read Horror Movie a Day) and some asshole with a pasty, bloated face (me) how he uses his performance as Officer Pastore in SHOCKER to teach his acting students how to be brilliant. By the way, Universal, when you're ready to do a fan commentary for your badly-needed SHOCKER Special Edition, start with Mr. Collins. By the way, that's David Kagen aka Sheriff Garris with his hand on Mr. Guastaferro's shoulder.
FRIDAY THE 13TH IV, V and VI are available for purchasing at the retailer of your choice.
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It's nice to see Friday the 13th getting so much love around the net lately!
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I've had a PS3 for a while - never had any problems. Today, I put the FRIDAY THE 13TH blu-ray into my player ... and it thought about the movie - and then died. I got to see about two minutes of the opening and now it won't play ANY Blu-Ray discs. But you know what? I'm cool because I got a Best Buy repalcement plan on the PS3. Still, though ... JASON KILLED MY PLAYER and he's still the Main Man!
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..should only be watched on a cheap top loader VCR via an overused/over rented VHS tape. The fuzzy deterioration adds to the whole experience so dramatically.
Oh, and ya gotta be drunk! Real drunk... -
get back to the real Jason. Pot farmer indeed.
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High picture quality of Jason killing rapes my childhood. Well, my adolesence, anyway. But shogunmaster has it bang on - Movies like Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead, Friday the 13th, etc; are more of an overall viewing experience than just a movie. Kinda like what Tarrentino/Rodregez were trying to illustrate with Grindhouse. Sometimes it's not just the films -its how you watch 'em.
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My "rapes my childhood" comment is meant to be a parady of the stupid saying. No need to lambast me for making light of nonconsentual carnal knowledge.
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You look like that dude in MALLRATS that yells "It's a schooner!"
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I'm not familiar with this word
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now makes sense looking at his twattish face
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Fri'Gay the 13th. Nice grip on that beer there Beaks.
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Jason wasn't a pot farmer. The pot grew wild. It didn't belong to Jason. It's just a reason people keep coming to Crystal Lake - all that awesome Crystal Lake Chronic! Chronic is weed, right?
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good grief
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20285234,00.html?xid=partner-cnn-todayslatest-%27Red+Dawn%27%3A+Casting+exclusive! -
let us know
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I'm the grinning jackass on the right. In the blue sweatshirt.
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I'm starting to suspect that the previous slams on "Beaks" appearance were directed at me (aka "the beardy"). At any rate, thanks for the plug sir... now I'm off to listen to Steinmann (rightfully) defend A New Beginning.
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"Detroit-like murder rate"?. I don't live in The D, but it hasn't been the murder capitol for quite a long time.
OK, I just looked up some statistics, and it seems, per capita, Detroit's still in the running after all. But can you give Baltimore equal time, at least?
Carry on. -
Know what's REALLY fun to do with the Friday the 13th movies? Count how many time a cat comes flying through a closet/window/cabinet. Someone, throughout the entire history of the Jason movies, has been going around stuffing these poor animals into crazy places. Not only do they come LEAPING out from nowhere, but they always go "YYAAARRRAAAHHWWOONNNNN!!!" Maybe it's Jason doing it?
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Was he the asshole from last October, who came into the talkbacks and insulted Quint and called him a thief and a rip-off, when he decided to watch only horror movies in his AMAD run till Halloween? Or was it someone who had nothing to do with him?
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you look normal
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You just say you're a guy in a blue sweatshirt grinning (the guy behind everybody, I'm assuming). Help me reconcile this crap one and for all.
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he said he was the bloated PASTY, not the bloated BEARDY
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Was it the new 2009 Friday the 13th? I'm having troubles with the disc too and I am betting we're not alone.
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Someone called Quint a thief and ripoff, yes, but not me. I came in and said it was OK (there are lots of sites that do the same thing in October), just that I didn't care much for him actually changing the name of his series to "Horror Movie A Day", when he knew about my site (I likened it to suddenly starting a news column on my site called "Ain't it Cool News"). I was actually bummed when Quint quit doing his series; it was a good way of finding out about some cool non-horror movies.
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As i always suspected.
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Because usually, when people talk aggressively in a million talkbacks about another website, they are the people who run this and are desperate for any publicity. *cough*ntf*cough*
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Glad its Mr FrightReviews instead. That makes more sense.
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Marraige will do that to ya.
And I still say you guys are lucky this wasnt a part 7 party. Kane would choke you out for group shots and the rest of the male cast members would make advances on you. You limit your beer intake for sure. Part 5 kicks ass needs no defense needed. Roy rules -
...doesn't restore all the x-rated material that would pretty much ensure its purchase by moi.
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Glad to see that dude is doing good.
So, what about Blu-Ray? I assume they'll all come out on that too? -
Is there anyone affiliated with AICN who isn't some 300 lbs nerd?
Where do you guys come from anyway? I used to see the odd guy like you at school but we just ignored him like he didn't exist. You go out to clubs/bars and you don't see dudes like that...
I guess you guys just exist in your basements and send your lives watching movies and trying to connect with other similar types online... -
kmPCos xvFiDk
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