Cool News
CONAN Has A Director Again...
Merrick here...
Variety has confirmed a scoop initially introduced by CHUD (HERE) if I understand the sequence of events correctly.
Marcus Nispel (who brought us the remakes of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and FRIDAY THE 13th) will direct CONAN.
[[[crickets]]]
Given that our reality once allowed for the possibility of Brett Ratner directing this movie, I suppose it's fair to say Nispel is a step up (or is he?). Still, nothing about his career thus far (remember PATHFINDER?) suggests that a Nispel CONAN movie would seem a particularly shiny idea.
Nispel said he will blend his childhood imaginings of the character with the influence of the famous Conan illustrations by Frank Frazetta, and the influence of such viscerally violent period films as Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto."
...says THIS ARTICLE in Variety.
Here's a piece of Frazetta CONAN art to get you going...
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What the fuck?
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If he turds this it is lawful to hit him with a plank of wood.
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I'm giving you a browncoat salute.... do they have one? It's a normal one yeah? Whatever.
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LMAO!
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Passable and therefore a complete waste of time and 100 million dollars.
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He is the last guy who directed Arnie on screen after all
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I'd rather have John Milius, but I don't always get what I want. Who's writing this thing, incidentally? Did you guys know that Milius wrote like two dozen episodes of Rome? That's badass--no wonder that show was so good.
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A girl at the video store recommended Pathfinder saying it was like Apocalypto, after subsequent viewing of it's utter shitness, blatantly composited blood spray and lay me by the campfire sex scene I returned to said video store to bludgeon her with the rented piece of trash. I really hated that movie.
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How large that step is debateable but at least it wasn't the Rat at the helm, not that I care about The Rat one way or another. At the very least Nispel has a bit of talent and a flare for making interesting visuals.
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Jun 12, 2009 12:24:18 AM CDT
One question all movie producers should ask themselves:
by george newman
Will this end up on the Five-dollar movie shelf at walmart?
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What the FUCK?!
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...and here I was, thinking Ratner was the worst choice they could make.
This is beyond horrible. Is EVERYTHING destined to be made by hacks in the future? Where's the magic? The creativity? The originality? Good God... -
swear to god, news is breaking here a good 12 hours late. nukethrefridge.com is kicking ass with breaking news lately. what's going on guys?
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Talk about your lame Sophie's Choice.
Check out DJ Qualls with a mullet - pretty funny (http://bit.ly/bZm0r) -
this is a lateral move at best. How the fuck can these people not be going all out for this?
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Jun 12, 2009 12:28:54 AM CDT
I think the producers are more important than the director
by continentalop
That and the cast and the writers. I really don't want to much flash and style in a Conan movie as much as I want it to have the right tone and feel and stay faithful to REH.
As long as this guy has no input on casting and script, it might be alright. -
This can't be good!
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These fucking morons who are in charge of this simply have NO FUCKING CLUE about Conan, and NO taste when it comes to good film making. They seem to want this movie to fail with the directors they choose. If you're reading this...fuck off you tasteless suit wearin' hack, just fuck off. Why not fuck it up good and proper and hire Micheal Bay while you're at it.
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YOU ASSHOLES!!!!
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Now where's some inspired directing choices? Nispel? L-O-L.
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He does period action better than anyone in recent years. Wasn't Milius involved in some way recently?
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Now this hack is doing it? SHeEZ!!!
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Bloody, graphic depictions of half-naked men heaving and grunting in slow motion against CGI backgrounds. The kinda movie you see opening weekend, masturbate the whole way through, then forget about the next day.
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But only Miller if he could tap into his Mad Max 2/Road Warrior self again.
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Jun 12, 2009 12:42:20 AM CDT
John Carter of Mars Begins Shooting This November in Utah
by trannyformers_apologist
Don't worry Conan will be rebooted in 5 years. Mike Gay to direct. Produced by abrams and written by his gay friends O&K.
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in that conan art.
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...Dickblood thinks this is a good idea.
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But he can shoot a good looking flick. If the script is good, I doubt Nispel will fuck it up.
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This movie is going to be serviceable at best. You can pretty much rule out a really great film now.
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Or not.
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Wokka wokka.
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How can anybody think this is a step up? Nispel hasn't even directed a film that is barely worth watching. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake may well be the most insulting thing I've seen ever. This is the same man who made Jason boring. Honestly, I almost fell asleep during Friday the 13th. The same guy who fucked up a viking battle movie. He made Clancy Brown look bad- a feat which I thought impossible. At least Ratner made Money Talks/that movie with Pierce Brosnan. Those movies at least weren't insultingly bad.
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looking forward to this surefire piece of shit.
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Brett (Why yes, my middle name really is douchebag) Ratner. To be completely honest, you could bring Ed Wood back from the dead, make him snort two kilograms of coke laced with LSD and he'd make a better Conan film than Ratner. I'm surprised that Ratner still has the amount of influence he still seems to show in Hollywood. Last Stand was horrible, and it's been a long time since the Rush Hour films.
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...this is going to be a classic case of where a TB is suddenly visited by previously unheard-of talkbackers who say things like "c'mon guys let's give this a chance" and "let's be happy that they're at least making a Conan movie". It's called damage control.
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This will work. Pathfinder was basically Conan verses the Picts...so what's not to like?!
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Could be worse. Could be Ratturd directing "Conan the Vegetarian" starring Ben Stiller as Conan, with Kate Hudson as his love interest Secretia. Nevertheless, I'll stick to the original Conan movie. Fuck you, Hollywood.
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Did you even SEE Pathfinder?
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Nispel knows this isn't a remake right? I guess i'll take it, because anybody is better than Ratner but at the same time, this is kinda like replacing a broom handle with a dildo.
How long, do you think, before the announcement of Karl Urban as Conan? -
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: X-Men 3 was the best of the trilogy. He has a better eye for action than Singer. I think he could do an enjoyable Conan.
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it could be RATNER!
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Sorry pal, but you're hit.
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busty blonde playing golf, bent over.
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And when the heck is that getting distribution?
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Because quite simply, No Arnold = No Conan. Nobody else can play him. Not necessarily that there's never been anyone else who's ever existed that could have been Conan also, but really, there's no one in Hollywood at this current time who can play that role. The Rock, WWE stars? Balls. None of them have Arnold's physical presence or charisma. Of course, the book character always had cunning and intelligence, as well as brawn, but Arnold, as anyone who knows anything of The Schwarz's real personality, sly humour, and the razor smarts and instinct which allowed him to get to the top, knows he can bring this, too; it was just never really brought out in either of the two films to date. Alas, he is now too old, but they should be making Conan the King, anyway, with Arnold as the aged ruler of Aquilae. They can give him a son or something to bring in the audience from the younger generation. And get Peter Jackson to direct it.
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Staring Kevin James as GROO.
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Brilliant. The producers of this film are horrible at their job. No one is excited for this, and this film will bomb. So sad.
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Because I don't even see the joke. Nothing in "X3" even compares to the Nightcrawler fight scene in the opening of "X2".
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I'm high. Really high, in fact. And I'm watching BtVS episodes with the wife. But even though I'm high, I still recognize that Ratner needs, for lack of a better option, to have his eyes cut out with a rusty cock. The only way to do a good Conan movie is have McTiernan at the helm, get Milius to produce, and get someone like Kevin McKidd, Ray Stevenson, or that big Scandinavian fucker Alexander Skaarsgard, buff 'em up, slap a leather bikini on them, and do Conan the justice it deserves.
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this guy made good films of Texas Chainsaw and Friday 13th, especially if you rather watch them in their own right. of course they fail when compared to the originals, but as "stand alone" objective experiences, they were decent.
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Listen, I think everybody on this site was ready to tear down X3 the second after they heard it was being directed by Ratner. And when it actually turned out good it made everybody even madder. Surely, you can’t deny that X1 was rather tame in terms of action and that X3 did have some spectacular scenes. Ah, no you’re all probably right, that’s why X3 was such a huge bomb.
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So much for Conan.
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So I'm gonna assume he's a fan of the movie rather than the REH books because i don't know of any parent who would make a child read Conan. There goes my hope of seeing a faithful REH version of Conan on screen. Javier Bardem for Conan!
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Didn't Nispel already pillage Frazetta-like imagery for PATHFINDER. I could only handle watching a few minutes of it on cable once. Another music video director that should try writing an original script to help him grasp feature film storytelling better.
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Does anybody really care about another Conan Movie? Are you just acting like a retard for attention or are you an actual special needs case? Listen up dipshit, we and fucking I do care about another Conan Movie, care enough for it not to be ruinned by dickless hacks and passionate enough to cleave playground pricks like you who are simply around to annoy. REH's Conan is one of the greatest fictional characters period, the first Arnold movie was a decent attempt but far from fucking satisfactory. REH's world is ripe as fuck for a proper movie and anyone moronic enough to suggest otherwise needs to think before letting their clumsy retarded fingers near a fucking keyboard. Now you can crawl back under your rock.
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Why don't they hire the director of Outlander? Probably, because he is doing something else.
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You're the man!
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There no shame in copying from the best artists of the genre. Jackson based his look for LOTR on selections from skilled artist's renderings of Middle Earth.
Doesn't mean the movie will be any good, but it certainly doesn't mean it will be bad. -
...and play Old Conan.
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If so, get one.
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Pathfinder was surprisingly good. Maybe it was Nispel. Probably it was Urban. But TCM and Ft13th were utter shit. Vile bowel movements. So not too impressed. I'm in a wait and see mood for now.
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We already have one classic Conan movie and I guess that's all we'll ever get. I was excited about this, but knowing the people behind it were actively circling Ratner should have given me enough notice that they don't give a fuck. Getting this loser only confirms it. This film is already dead to me.
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Cameron. Perhaps Fincher. No one else, especially not the younger generation. Unless you're an Abrams, McG or Bay fan of course.
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Cameron and Fincher wouldn't touch this with a barge pole.
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Be thankful that we have a great Conan film to watch from a real film artist, as opposed to the hack video directors of today.
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I'd like to see a John Woo CONAN movie. As for visionaries, how about Chan Woo-Park? Johnnie To?
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Give it to Tartakovsky for fuck's sake.
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Friday the 13th was terrible and boring but the man does have a good eye for boobs ....and Conan will need to get his bloody paws on some quality lusty boobige. So keep the lad around to sort the boobs and to polish a few broadswords with his beard....but for fucks sake dont let the director of The Very Best of Cher: The Video Hits Collection direct what should be the most beautifully brutal sword & sorcery movie ever made!!!
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nuff said
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"Pathfinder" was a mess. The overall visual style was appropriate and could fit a Conan movie, but the direction was wobbly and the editing sub-par. Too bad, since the story was actually kind of interesting. They should hire Nispel's D.P. to lense Conan, but not Nispel himself.
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boring. How the fuck could you make a movie with that premise boring? Worst problem: I'm not a shaky cam hater, but you couldn't see anything during the action scenes in this movie. On the other hand I liked his TCM Remake and his cinematography isn't the worst.
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Jun 12, 2009 5:20:37 AM CDT
Schwarzeneeger Must Be Rolling Over In His Political Grave.
by kubla_khan
Come back to what you know, Arn. It's time for True Lies 2: One Last Job Before Retirement. You know it!
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whoever keeps picking these shit directors for this movie need to be shitcanned.
from the rat to the director of pathfinder? wtf.
next they'll replace Marcus Nispel with Len Wiseman. then replace len with Stephen Sommers.
christ, how can a studio fuck up a winning project so perfectly before it starts.
is it that hard for the studio to find a director that can do action without being a hack?
Raimi, Cameron, Twohy, Synder, etc. 4 names in under 15 seconds of thought that are miles better than anything this studio has come up with in a year.
with the studio mis-handling conan so poorly, one has to wonder if this is not intentional. they should just let the sci-fi channel staff & cast this movie. skiffy could probably do it for 1-2 million. and make a final product which will rival the shitcan film that looks to be coming for a lot more cash. -
its a step up but its still a pretty uninspiring choice, ill reserve judgement until i see a trailer ad least
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If you keep it hard R, that is.
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Conan has so many rich stories and art and comics to draw from. I am surprised that any director alive would not want to take a crack at it. I guess the powers that be do not see this property as worth much.
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Can some organized type get one together for me to sign ....i'm far too lazy and feckless to do it meself.
cheers! -
Tower of the Elephant embellished into a feature film. Just start it out with him already an established thief and he is working on a big score. We don't need to know about his childhood trauma and the guy that killed his father and how he learned to use a sword and blah blah blah.
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My brother hired it, I managed about 20 minutes of it.
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this movie should look like 300.
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Give it to Mel FUCKING Gibson!!!! Or Stallone!!!! Anybody w/ balls who can give us the real carnage we want on the big screen.
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conan could be a great epic movie... not sure why they keep killing it.
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Jun 12, 2009 8:00:32 AM CDT
Speaking as someone who actually LIKED Pathfinder...
by the bunglermoose
...I think this is good news. At least, better than the idea of Ratner getting his hands on it.
I just hope it's more of an adaptation of the original stories and leaves the Arnold movies alone. -
hadnt considered that, yes, even mel would do a far better job than either of the 2 shitbox directors this studio has come up for conan so far.
hell, i'd even love milius to get another chance. rome rocked and his original conan has its moments. -
if Arnold is unavailable.
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Until they start calling it ROBERT E. HOWARD's Conan, and not another rehash of the "Man in the Fur Diaper" I'm not expecting much.
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Is a step down as far as I'm concerned. What the fuck did Howard McCain do to the studios?
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Take a crack at it. Maybe even David Twohy, though he's a little more hot and cold. . . they've both made some pretty good movies out of nothing.
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You mentioned Mel Gibson without a Nazi / "sugartits" joke. What were you thinking?! It's too soon to remember that he is a great director.
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and yes, he's a completely unexceptional director, a studio "mass appeal" guy in the worst way, but it can be much, much worse. I'm afraid this may be a case of that.
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and before you laugh, well when you finish laughing, Riddick is basically a barbarian film- and he did the hand to hand excellently. Riddick may be a mess, but it would have worked in conan.
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The guy is genius. Plus who didn't like 300? give him a real budget and Conan.
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mind you, my pet film is Alien, and I dread to see which fucking cretin they appoint to that. Where did all the talent go?
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It was pure fucking STANK! He even admitted that he was trying to do a Conan like film, and why was it so DARK? Couldn't see anything!!!
What happened to McTeauge or even Neil Marshall, wasn't he on the list? Don't settle with mediocre Nu Image! -
unwatchable shit. No thanks.
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I normally put him up for everything, but this isn't for him- it's the wrong aesthetic.
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...Apocalypto, why not just ask Gibson to direct it? I'm sure he would make one hundred times the movie Nispel is capable of. Plus, Mel Gibson directing would attract top drawer acting, writing and DP talent to this. Imagine somebody like Caleb Deschanel (Black Stallion and Passion of the Christ) photographing a Conan flick. It'd be awesome. Hey, studio guys, ditch this Nispel character and ask Gibson to direct. Imagine the poster: From the director of Braveheart, comes...CONAN.
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wheres my petition!!!??
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Pathfinder wasn't perfect, but it was a shit ton better than x3 or either of the Rush Hour movies. The only complaint I hear most people level at it, time and time again, was that the last act was maybe a bit too Hollywood for their tastes, and I'm willing to bet that's a script problem, not a directorial one.
But both TCM's and even that new Friday were fucking garbage. Of course, Michale Bay had a hand in both of those, so that may explain a few things, as well. -
BLEH. Pathfinder was all kinds of shitty with one illogical turn after another. This does not instill me with hope. Nispel's films look great, but overall, they are pretty shitty. Not that happy with this decision.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:28:37 AM CDT
I like the combination of Frazetta's vision and Apocalypto...
by doctorwho?
..."childhood imaginings" remains to be seen.
I know nothing about the dipstick horror films he's done but I like the fact that he's somewhat under the radar.
God knows how this is going to turn out. -
...this flick went from a "Hmm, interested", to straight-to-DVD-bargain-bin-piece-of-shit as quick as you can say 'Nispel'. Let's just all move on to something else.
Hey I hear 'John Carter' is shooting.... -
You know, when it comes to movies and Hollywood particularly in the past 15 years or so. I have learned to keep my childhood locked up in a basement, only taking him out for walks every now and again for fear that something might happen to him.
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I'm not sure who the director is, but I'm sure if done right a new Conan film could be big. We need epic scale, but no "Mummy" CGI effects please!
The last great sword-play movies we've had were "Gladiator" and "The 13th Warrior". Love those movies! There were also some moments in "Troy" that were good, but overall the CGI effects distracted me from the very good performances by Eric Bana, Brian Cox, Brad Pitt, and of course Peter O'Toole. I can also admit to "King Arthur" being a guilty pleasure, because at least it had Fuqua-style with Ray Winstone and Ray Stevenson! And yeah, Keira Knightley looked good.
marcspector> I like your idea for a story, but some backstory may be necessary for a new audience. Enough time has passed since "Conan the Barbarian" this idea is good, and doesn't fall into the horrible "reboot" trend. This isn't fixing something that's wrong, this is a good old fashioned remake! -
Wasn't Boaz Yakin attached to this at one point?
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Haven't you heard? Marshall's doing Predators. Excellent.
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Now if we can find JPT
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And this is coming from someone who was absolutely desperate to enjoy himself. I mean, Karl Urban stomping around and decapitating Vikings? Hell yes! Hell no. Dull, ugly, and phoned-in. That was Pathfinder, and now that WILL be Conan. I'm with the guy who wanted to see Tower of the Elephant expanded into a feature film. Seriously, how badass would that be? Sigh...
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Vader what the fuck are you on? Pathfinder was one of the shittiest looking films ever. It look like I was watching a movie through mud. So bad.
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Go rent Outlander.
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PATHFINDER was one of the *ugliest* movies I've ever seen. Not "ugly" in an elegant, deliberate way. "Ugly" in a ham-handed, clunky sorta way...
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Is the only person that I will find acceptable to direct a Conan movie.
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I even got black box approval.
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At one point Howard McCain (OUTLANDER) was involved with this. As Series7 suggests, he would've been a VASTLY superior choice. Then again, *many* other choices would've been...
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But you pissed and moaned, and now you have to deal.
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Jun 12, 2009 10:23:37 AM CDT
This will be very Gladiator-esque no matter who does it
by alienindisguise
I'd much rather see Conan in a lotr type fantasy setting but something's telling me it's gonna be brought down to reality moreso and that will suck. If Frazetta's art is the template and if it's followed then we'll be seeing a whole lot of man ass cheeks. No thanks.
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Nispel makes R rated movies. The Rant is a PG 13 director
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Your choice on just who's made a viking movie.
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Lets not do this and just do something else instead.
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Good point. They even had Clancey Brown as the evil Viking bad ass and still found a way to make it suck
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"There was NOTHING WRONG WITH RATNER." ---> Is this a troll?
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What happened to his involvement with this? He wrote the script did he not? Was Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner confused and rushed into this as well?
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You practically declare jihad on PJ for his creative, visionary decisions in LOTR but think a vanilla hackmeister like Ratner is perfectly okay for Conan?
If you had had any credibility left after your infamous earlier performances in these talkbacks it would have evaporated the moment you posted that idiotic statement. -
Jun 12, 2009 10:41:03 AM CDT
to the REH readers that keep asking for Tower of the Elephant
by palewook
amen.
you fookers have read some conan and know your howard. tons of great choices from reh for a movie script. of his 21 complete original stories, tower is probably the most accessible to a wide audience.
would rather see hour of the dragon made into a 2 part movie, but this is sort of the end of reh conan. (see Conan the Conqueror if you haven't read HoTD). and not exactly the place a studio wants to relaunch a franchise, with its main character becoming a king and getting settled down and old.
better to stick with the thief period and a young cimmerian. allowing for future great stories like god in the bowl, rogues in the house, queen of the black coast, etc. -
Arnold played him like a bonehead despite the fact that Conan in the novels and comics is a brilliant strategist and a cunning warrior. They also completely fucked his origin story, making him a slave which completely goes against the grain of the character. Also, the Cimmerians being slaughtered like bitches at the beginning of the film was ridiculous and completely contrary to the established cannon; in Howard’s universe, the Cimmerians are the hardest, toughest motherfuckers around. On its own merits, the original Conan is a fun flick but it was never a particularly accurate representation of Howard’s universe. As to this director, while I agree the Friday remake was dull (as was the original in my opinion) I think his Chainsaw remake was pretty damn good and it was certainly a beautiful-looking film.
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i do enjoy the original movie. but i love the books, always have. and everything you are saying is about the 1st movie is dead on.
not sold on the new choice of director though. pathfinder is a fucking mess. -
well said man!
Conan also is a larger than life charismatic personality ....a challenge for any actor and director never mind some mook who who has so far only given us shallow dross. -
Agreed. Tower of the Elephant would also be a good choice because, if I'm not mistaken, Conan is very young in that story, like 15-17 I think, and it would make a great 1st film to introduce the character. It might even be the 1st Conan story (chronologically, not written), it's been so long since I've read them. Other than that, Queen of the Black Coast would be a fn' great film. It has all the elements of a classic REH Conan yarn.
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Brett Ratner is better than Marcus Nispel. Here's the test: Could Ratner have directed a remake of FRIDAY THE 13TH as blandly watchable as Marcus Nispel? YES. Could Marcus Nispel have directed a watchable remake of MANHUNTER (I'm talking about RED DRAGON)? NO.
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internal finaglings and hijinx were afoot. Rumor says that, at one point, more than one script was in development for this film simultaneously (similar to rumors surrounding SPIDER-MAN 4). Guess McCain's CONAN wasn't the direction they wanted to go? 'Tis a pitty cause, as I understand it, McCain is hard-core into CONAN and very much grocks the mythos. Would've been awesome to see him bring some of the character sensibilities he demonstrated in OUTLANDER to CONAN's brutal world.
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Someone pls tell me does this new CONAN production have the rights to use the (fucking awesome) Basil Poledouris soundtrack?
Also any tb'ers out there played AGE OF CONAN mmorpg - I did for a couple of months and really digged it, even though I spent much of my time being ganked.
I'd love to hear from Milius on this one. Is he involved? If not why not?
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I want to get the "Friday" Blu ray and I never want to see so much as a clip of the Halloween remake.
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Merrick what does 'finaglings' mean dude?
Is it a misspelling or a funky new word i'm not familiar with?? -
It means, essentially, "dubious happenings" to achieve particular goals. Finagling is actually in the dictionary (had to look it up to make sure I was spelling it right).
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studios ran him off after he spent a decade trying to get his king conan made script.
google "milius crown of iron" -
Once again a once prestigous franchise is handed over to a hack. They did it with T4, X3, Wolverine...Where have all the great directors gone?! And I think Zombie would have been a great choice. He knows how to balance story with brutal gore and violence.
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To be perfectly clear: I meant internal "finaglings and hijinx" / politics on the internal studio/production level. IN NO WAY was I attempting to implicate funkiness on McCain's part.
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'Finagling', well you learn something new every day... cheers Merrick.
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Palewook, damn those studio foools! It's time to take them down. Now they will know why they fear the night.
There should SURELY be a role for Milius on this one. Any studio spies/marketeers/survey-takers reading this - take that message to your boss!(and be quick about it motherfucker).
Ps. tell them to get the Poledouris soundtrack as well please. -
haven't you got different shades of flame to be looking at?
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Yeah, I can picture those Time Warner execs lounging around in the orgy room, drinking from the cauldron of body parts. Bastards (but they sure know how to throw a party!).
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Whenever there's a list of rumored directors, they always go with the worst guy on the list. What kind of thinking is this, man? The only reason he's still working is because two of his movies had recognizable names that guaranteed a big opening. I know a couple people like his Texas Chainsaw remake (I can't relate) but does anybody like his other two? And doesn't PATHFINDER indicate that he has experience at fucking this kind of thing up? I get when they make the worst artistic choices, but this seems like the worst financial one at the same time. This will be their last Conan movie.
Ratner was a terrible choice but his would've been at least watchable. -
they will let anyone be a director these days.
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I'd take Nispel over countless of other hacky directors.. his comments on the movie sound great too... now, if they EVEN try to make this into a PG-13....
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I love REH's Conan stories as much as the next guy, but, let's face it -- it's not-especially-well-written pulp magazine material which, in a sane universe run by grown-ups, would be relegated to "B" movie status. TheContinentalOp above makes a good point: the producer(s) and writer(s) are going to be much more important to the success of a Conan movie than the director, much less a "visionary" filmmaker like Terence-fer-christssakes-Malick like somebody above suggested. Much like the James Bond movies, what's needed is a old-school showman-type producer; a clever writing team; and a journeyman director who won't muck up the proceedings with his "vision." If any geniuses are required, let them apply for the production design, costume, cinematography, and music positions. Get a lead actor who looks right for the part and can say his lines. Cast the ally and villain roles with wit and imagination, rather than stunt casting. Make sure the love interest role is cast with somebody who's intelligent, and whose intelligence shows on-screen -- which is always sexier and more beautiful than a flavor-of-the-month conventionally pretty starlet. THAT'S how to put together a successful pulp-fiction genre picture that "works." The director is the least of these ingredients.
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doesn't take this type of movie seriously. Even after LotR. They figure as long as it gets a few bucks who cares about how Milius made such a beautiful movie, almost like a fucking opera (compliment) in its style. I'm sure it's "Let's just get this thing out of the way and get back to flashy techno action. Rememeber they wanted rock songs in Barbarian. Thank God for Pouldoris and that incredible score.
I mean we're so fast-paced. Gotta be slick and sexy! Of course, what's sexier than Sandahl Bergman as Valeria! (thinking) Ahh! Okay, moving on. . . -
I always took the bad guys in CONAN to be a Manson/Koresh-type cult taken to its furthest ends.
I should point out that PATHFINDER used Frazetta-style art in its marketing, and yet was incredibly boring. I read the script, which was good... Which means the fault lies with Nispel. -
Tell me you don't start giggling when he phoneticaly bellows "You killed my family. You toooook mah faaaahhhduuuuh's swwwwwwwword." Off tangent, wasn't Nispel the one someone anonymously wrote Variety that he gave a list of demands before signing a deal (for a gig he didn't get) the highlights including 1) No one other than the top line talent could speak to him unless spoken to or look him in the eye unless being spoken to and (laughably) 2) Any time he was to be picked up at an airport, it had to be a pretty girl carrying the sign "Waiting for Man with Big Cock". For the record, I'm one of those who thought TCM wasn't that bad. Interesting shots. Deny it wasnt one of the better trailers of this decade.
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I must respectfully disagree. Howard was a master of American literature. Like Poe and Lovecraft, he will one day get his due, not just as a popular writer, but as an excellent writer.
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Series7> Thanks for the recommendation, it's been on my to-watch list since it came out on video! I suppose I should also give some props to "Beowulf" as a recent gem in the same genre, but obviously not the same.
Cobra--Kai> Excellent point! The soundtrack better have some of the same music! I often listen to "Anvil of Crom" and other tracks from the first film, being the film score junkie I am! -
What's up my friend?
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Agreed. It was a pretty boy on steroids. Conan is not pretty, he has to look extremely dangerous and be incredibly explosive. The new director does not have the resume BUT he appears to understand the essence of Conan. With a good script, heres to hoping...
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I totally agree re: Bardem, but if he's not available, they should get Jeffrey Dean Morgan since he's a) most likely more affordable, b) pretty much looks just like Bardem, and c) rather badass in his own right.
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I want to!
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Do I have to kill someone with a sword? Can I kill McG?
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X3 was great
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Yeah I got a best of Arnold music cd and its on there. And its got to be on the most bad ass themes ever.
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I suppose Kevin Nash or some other wrasslin' steroid pumper will play Conan.
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Yeah its good but damn they need to decrease the rotation of that one for awhile. Seems like no one has really topped Holst's "Mars the .."" err I mean Hans Zimmer's "Gladiator" epic war theme for awhile. I'd love to see John Williams do an all out war theme but ... that ain't gonna happen.
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We did it was called Pathfinder and he blew it.
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The producers of the new Conan movie are not giving much of two shits about the movie's quality, are they? It's clear they just want a product, and they are hiring the "safe" hacks. With the director of Pathfinder and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, expect a Conan movie with lookslike a hip-hop video or a perfume commercial, with as much depth, over-saturated with redundanct action scenes, where heavily assisted with CGI images does impossible camera moves, the fight scenes are edited into incompreensibility, and Conan will be turned into an emo.This movie is going into a really wrong direction. The studios want for us to comtemplate the sad fate of the new Conan movie while nailing us to our own the tree of woe. Thulsa Doom was wrong, it's not flesh which is stronger, greed is.
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Seriously, aside from Rambo, what has Millennium films ever put out that's been good? (And even Rambo is only good in a guilty pleasure kinda way.) Let's look at some of their past releases, shall we?Day of the Dead (2008)Righteous KillMad Money88 MinutesThe Wicker Man (2006)Hell, even the movies that didn't suck (like Rambo or 16 Blocks) weren't huge money-makers from what I can tell. How is this company even still in business?
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Clockwork, Series7, thenatural, yeah Poledouris's main theme from Conan is awesome... but equally so is the Valeria love theme, the Thulsa Doom theme, the orgy music, the climactic battle music, even the fucking shit that plays while he's pushing the wheel around. Just a classy, classy soundtrack all round.
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You're calling Arnold a "pretty boy"? I mean I understand his long, flowing hair was a bit attractive for a barbarian, but I'd hardly complain that he was too "clean" looking. Although I can freely admit that I absolutely hate the way Conan is drawn in the comics. He looks like a primitive, mindless ape.And before you yell "Well that's the point, he's a barbarian living in ancient times!", let me first point out the fact that, well, I don't care. I'll take Arnold's Conan over the comic-version any day. But at least you're not using some terribly laughable excuse to hate his portrayal, like his accent (if your reason for not taking an Arnold role seriously is STILL his accent, after all these years, then not many people are gonna take your opinions on film seriously, sorry.)
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And exactly who else did they have to pay to be in that movie? But your point is taken - looking at Milleniums past performance ('The Contract'? 'War, Inc' does John Cusack have pictures of these guys buttfucking Santa Claus?) they look to be this decades version of Franchise Pictures. Maybe they'll get bought out by Lion;s Gate and we'll see that cheesy dayglo blue M of their logo incorporated into the Gates of Heaven/Hell logo the way Franchise's building was.
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I was so fucking stoked for Pathfinder: I loved that it looked like a Frazetta painting come to life, I loved the prop design, I loved the casting, I loved the premise. Then, I saw the piece of shit. Everything about it was bad. It was a fucking action movie and yet every fight scene was done ultra-close up Dark Knight style. Such a massive let down.
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He can ... not ... act. Watching him try to be depressed in End of Days was excruciating. Does he have more charisma than any man ever should? Yup, he sure as hell does. Was he a great movie star who (for the most part) knew his limitations? Yup. Was Andrew McCarthy a better actor. Hell yes, he sure as fuck was. And, like it or no, his phonetic mangling of the English language in Conan was atrocious.
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Excalibur was the best swordsy epic ever. JB ages like a fine wine. Btw Xmen3 was way underrated. Ratner is not that bad, you bunch of lovable group thinkers you.
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Bruno Heller direct, Ray Stevenson as Conan(just have him do his angry Titus Pullo for 120 minutes.), and Kurt Busiek(author of the 'God In The Bowl' Graphic Novel) consult on the script.
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We're fucked. I'll wait for Red Nails and Solomon Kane.
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Of course, at that point, she was showing off those bodacious ta-tas in damn near every movie. Ah, the pointless tit shot of the 70's into early 80s - sigh.
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Sorry, I'm just trying to find some work for this guy. He hasn't made a good movie since L.A. Confidential.
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How goes it pally?
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Crom laughs at you. Laughs from his mountain. Fools.
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Hmmm John Boorman's Conan would be a sight to see. =) What would we think of a Conan directed by Oliver Stone? I thought the look of Alexander was just about right. Didn't he co/write the first movie with Milius?
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The film rights to Conan are given to some producers who HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I used to really enjoy the Milius Conan, until I read the books and realised that it was fuck all like them. He's an idiot.
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Awww.. Milius is cool. He wrote Dirty Harry after all.
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yet Milius does a solid job crafting a semi Conan script out of the parts he lifts. and another Milius Conan has been the best idea for this franchise for 2 decades.
two decades. thats how long the studios have had to come up with a better script, director, and vision. and 2 studios have failed so far.
theres plenty of room in this world to enjoy ReH and Milius. you don't have to hate one to enjoy the other.
but damn rush hour meets path finder. feel free to hate on that shit all week long. -
I hate to admit my ignorance about Conan, as I have never read any of the original books, but I do really like the Milius film. On the surface, it is just a fun, action packed popcorn flick. But, a little deeper under the surface, it really had a good story to it. Conan's quest to discover that what his father taught him was wrong. Not only could Conan trust his friends, but that steel is not infallible. Subotai saved him from the Tree of Woe, Valaria from beyond the grave saved him from Rexor just before Crom's sword broke the sword Rexor was using, the very sword Conan's father refered to at the beginning of the movie. He even learned the answer to The Riddle of Steel from Thulsa Doom. A sign of a good writer is character development.
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and with respect and cinematic sense. You think one of these fly by night clowns they hire nowadays are going to channel Alexander Nevsky when composing shots? That movie is everything that people claim to want in their adaptations. It's unflinching, violent, adult and to this day has one of the best scores ever put to a film of it's type. One of my faves. I don't get how any but the most navel-gazing type of Howard fans don't like it. It was even more impressive and striking when it was originally released. Younguns have no idea what good moviegoing feels like anymore I think.
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He-Man had rampant, genitalia-free sex with my sister's Barbie doll. This movie is gonna RULE!
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IMDB Pro recently reported that James McTeigue was slated to direct. This would have been a phenomenal opportunity for a new Conan franchise. And why don't they go back and review the 9 or so scripts Oliver Stone wrote ages ago? Imagine Oliver Stone writing with James McTeigue (V for Vendetta, DP for Matrix) in the director's chair. Only thing better would be to bring in The Wachowski's without John Milius (they didn't get along)...with Oliver Stone writing again as he did for the original. This team of producers are astoundingly vapid. Harry...who do we have to choke to get an epic telling of the next Conan tale?
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With Carrot Top as Conan. It couldnt be worse LOL!
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Hey! Carrot Top is RIPPED! lol -
and their clothing needs to look like it will fall off.
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I agree the Arnold Conan was great. Since i read the books i used to like them but now i dont really give a hoot that they changed things around like making him a slave. They are two different mediums and Stone had a mroe fantastical script while Dino De Laurentis wanted a more economic script that didn't cost too much to shoot. Conan is one of my favorite 80s movies and defintiely my fav of 1982 even more than the immortal Blade Runner.
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Pathfinder was so lame. Conan REALLY needs to be the one lifted from the books.
This is going to be stillborn like all his other flops. -
awesome, criminally underrated movie. Why not Mc Tiernan?
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The man is the shit. Hire him.
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If memory serves, the "bad guys" in Milius' KING CONAN were a not-particularly-subtle allegory to the Time Warner empire. May've had something to do with the flak John encountered? Just a theory.
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Orcus is doing fine, but the siren call of facebook pulls his away trom his time traveling duties. Damn Mob Wars :) So what have you both been up to?
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To your point, Milius and co. gave me the best fantasy movie until LotR came along. I get people not liking his version, so be it, but it's not like he gave us some shitty piece of work. I mean, it's not like he gave us D&D.
Nit-picks aside it is a solid movie. Now, CROOOOOOMMM I have nevah prayed to you bafoah! But if you would just get them to release a version with better audio than 2.0! CROOOOOMMMMM! -
Y'know, I had been thinking that nothing good would come of this new movie, but you just made me realize that Universal will probably dust off the 1982 film for a new Blu-Ray release. That at least gives me something to look forward to.
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Man worked with Arnie before and has the ultra violence and sex down pat.
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I'd like to think that if my head wasn't killing me I would have thought of it. Nice!
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Never knew they existed. That movie is 100 kinds of awesome. And how many other movies have a score that so perfectly compliments the visuals? Fuck...the first 20 or 30 minutes alone insure its place in my top 10.
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I won't repeat myself too much, but I posted earlier about "thank God for Poledouris and that score." Excellent stuff. (Heh, also pointed out the lovely Sandahl Bergman.)
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It is good, but I think it falls short. I really don't think they needed to make the revenge angle to motivate Conan - Conan lives in the now, not in the past. He just cares about wenching, gold, strong drink and wetting his blade - that is all the motivation he needs.
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but it's still one hell of a very fun movie. And pretty smart as well. What's not to like about Milius' Conan The Barbarian?
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Indeed. there is no way the new conan movie-to-be could even dream of having a score as good as Milius' movie. There is nobody today, certainly not among the most seek out composers, who have 1/10th of the talent that Polidouris showed in his Conan's score. nobody. not that Tyler bates guy, and not any of those Hans Zimmer trainees who all sound the same. Nobody!If you want a good score, i'm affraid you will have to look for the computer game Age Of Conan. Weird that today, the games are getting Conan much better then the movies.
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one of the trends of the 80s Ator, Deathstalker, Beastmaster, Yor, Barbarian Queen and loads of others
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Maybe he should use his power to make this movie not suck.
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pearl speciality
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pearl speciality
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I mean do you honestly believe that this is a step of from Ratner? Has the sucking of Harry's tiny dick go to your even tinier brain?
Or is this just your way of sucking up to Harry's irrational Ratner bashing?
Ratner knows how direct a movie. Plain and simple. Based on what I can tell, however, this other guy is a hack.
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