Cool News
About The Alleged Behind-The-Scenes Turmoil On GI JOE...
Beaks here...
This isn't news. This is score-settling.
Late last night, I received a number of emails alerting me to an epic tear-down of Stephen Sommers's G.I. JOE, which had been posted to producer Don Murphy's message board. I read the missive, had a good laugh, and decided not to post anything about it because wading into that story is a no-win situation. This isn't just about a troubled Hollywood tentpole.
I still feel the same way, but since the story has spread all over the place, here are the highlights from the since-removed post:
1) G.I. JOE racked up lower test screening numbers than any film in recent Paramount history (this would include SERVING SARA and MARCI X).
2) Stephen Sommers has been fired.
3) Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has been told to stay the fuck away from the editing room.
4) Hasbro is panicked that the G.I. JOE brand has been ruined.
5) Lorenzo is a poopy-head.
This is where I'll hand you over to my pal George "El Guapo" Roush at Latino Review, who got di Bonaventura to go on the record and refute most of the claims made in the anonymous post. Here's an excerpt from his comments:
Well listen, we tested very well and I don’t compare [it to the test screening numbers for TRANSFORMERS] because they are different movies, but you know I think its really destructive for a director…It hurts a guy's career when people go around talking about that he was fired or he didn’t do a good job and truth is he did a really good job. People are going to enjoy the movie and the test audiences enjoyed the movie.
He did a very good job the movie tested well and it couldn’t be more false that the studio in anyway did anything negatively to Steve.
It's up to you whether you want to believe a crank who won't sign their grievance or a guy who's gone on the record to deny up-and-down that anything is wrong with G.I. JOE.
Of course, Bradley Cooper recently denied that he was in talks to play Face in THE A-TEAM, when, as Variety reported this week, he was in talks to play Face. You might also recall Tom Rothman's claim that the theatrical cut of WOLVERINE would run significantly longer than the leaked workprint.
I'm not saying you shouldn't trust di Bonaventura. Though I think there's some truth buried in that post from Don Murphy's message board (if only because I've been hearing different variations on that story for the last month or so), I've been told by two different, trustworthy, completely unbiased sources that Sommers is currently working on G.I. JOE. As for the bad buzz, that's just someone else's negative opinion for now - though you're free to draw your own conclusions from the footage that's already out there.
Do with all of this what you will.
He did a very good job the movie tested well and it couldn’t be more false that the studio in anyway did anything negatively to Steve.
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i thought the trailer looked fun, i hope none of this is true
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It won't matter one bit. The movie's still going to be shit and Hasbro's partly to blame for this ruining their franchise. They OK'd taking the America out of GI Joe.
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Who cares. I'm interested in the story and characters and will make up my own mind when I see it. I think hype, is overrated. Who cares. Make up your own damn mind.
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I mean, seriously...they had Larry Hama, and STILL couldn't get it right? Snake Eyes does look good though...
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What a crap summer for films
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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i read it first at NTF, but still...this is some funny shit. the 'reality' of black tactical outfits, international joes, etc does not mesh with campy action dialogue and cyber suits.
this will be the biggest brightest bomb ever. -
Could've been great with a Larry Hama story, though.
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Seriously, does anybody really care about this movie? Or is this another case of childhoods being raped and I just don't get it?
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...that's just crazy talk, man. :rolls eyes:
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We will just have to see... I've been a G.I Joe fan for almost all my life, and been waiting for the day a real movie was to be made. But now that Im older, and a little wiser, Im not really sure I want to see it. Especially not in the hands of Stephen Sommers, who couldnt even handle one single mummy. How is he supposed to handle 20+ characters??? Just had me my cheesy cartoons thank you...
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im sure this "movie" can't be any worse than star trek
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Anyone see the previews. Michael Bay had more respect for the Transformers comics.
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...is the fact that Don Murphy has a messageboard.
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I thought that was common knowledge around these parts.
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My friend was an extra during the cobra's over take of the GI Joe fort. The whole thing just seemed really cheesy and Sienna Miller can't fight for shit. I guess the editing didn't do anything to improve anything. I am still going to see it though since I was behind the camera when the two ninjas were fighting.
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Will hit theaters 1 week after this one.
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At all. The trailer for this looks like a train wreck in my humble opinion.
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The trailer is complete garbage. The only that bothers me is that Joseph Gordon Levitt is involved in this fucking turd. I wanted him to be in a bigger movie, but sure as fuck not this.
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is an entertaining mess. If it's anywhere near as godawful as Van Helsing, that guanrantees Joe at least a handful of drunken replays in years to come.
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Not liking the trailer for GI Joe, but hearing about the rumor makes me sick to my stomach that someone would post something that negative over at Don Murphy's board. A rumor that destructive for someone's career should either be backed by facts (thereby making it a non-rumor), or not be posted at all. And AICN posting and spreading this isn't helping either.
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So why is this a surprise to anyone.
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as I mentioned in THE ZONE's thread on this, some backpedeling ala when Lexi whatsherface got fired and then not fired from Punisher War Zone
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if this were true and the studio did fire sommers because this thing looks laughable and not in a good way. WHEN this bombs (it will), hasbro should focus on the resolute brand in order to build up momentum for a relaunch with someone who's not a piece of shit and a half
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Deep Rising. As much as it's a full-out camp fest, it's really fun.
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Fighting Evil Deathstro!
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The trailer looked really bad. And there is a Wayans brother in it... Never a good sign.
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Ehh.. This flick has had "Rent Me From Netflix" written all over it since the first trailer. Sommers flicks give me gas.
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The trailer, I mean. Like me. Some other people did, like someone I saw the trailer with before Star Trek. I dunno. Doesn't look that compelling to me.
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According to movieline.com, G.I. JOE is getting recut significantly. They flesh out the story a bit more than what you've covered here, so anyone interested go check it out.
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I thought that the Mummy was ok...not a great film, but not bad either.
This G.I. Joe film looks bad. All of the characters look the same in their Snake Eyes black outfits, the stupid exo-skeleton power suit things look like a poorly executed Halo costume, the Baroness has no accent and Destro doesn't have a silver head. That's just the start of my gripes.
I think they should have just done a new animated straight to DVD movie that I could watch with my kids. -
Jun 11, 2009 4:56:59 PM CDT
I know you shouldn't judge a movie by its trailer, but...
by mr_incredible
It looked like crap, so this isn't a big surprise. Whoever thought that those power suits (or whatever they are) were a good idea should be fired. At least Transformers has giant fucking robots and Megan Fox, GI Joe has nothing.
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Jun 11, 2009 4:58:06 PM CDT
IT'S GONNA BE A DGDB OF A MOVIE FOR SURE
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
A real stinker. Check out the trailer. They've ruined GI JOE.
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it would be the most talked about action film of the past 9 years. hell, the scenes where snakeeyes took out the gaurds on cobra island with their own grenade belt and actually cut and stabbed people, in a suggestively artistic and unglorified manor....great shit.
it's just ridiculous that there are better writers for cartoons than those paid to write live action in hollywood. -
And guinea pigs. Right? Because they sure look similar, from the trailers. I'm just sayin'.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:00:51 PM CDT
Well of course Bonaventure is going to say it's all untrue now.
by robertbaron
The movie hasn't opened yet. Wait until it's a disaster, then you'll get the truth.
Anyway, parts of the story are obviously true. Who releases a major tentpole blockbuster in August? -
And apparently whoever did the fight choreography of the Matrix movies.
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It is not possible.
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They will take a mulligan on this and reboot 5 years from now.
Hulk did it, Batman Did it. Joes will too. -
Jun 11, 2009 5:06:41 PM CDT
If they would stop trying to show off those damn super-suits...
by mike_d
and focus more on the G.I.Joe shit, then there would be less negative feedback.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:06:44 PM CDT
If they put Sgt. Slaughter in it, they'd be talking Oscar right
by azultool
I'm just sayin'
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Was fucking awful. It was The Mighty Morphin POwer Rangers the movie... fucking shitty. Why couldn't they give us a raw and adult GI Joe? Fucking retards.
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GI Joe might be an OK action movie, but why they have absolutely ZERO recognizable GI JOE characters except for the ninja dude is beyond me. Maybe Destro or Cobra Commander will show up in uniform at some point...but give us at least ONE recognizable money shot in the trailer, instead of generic destruction and CGI-fu (which is ripped off from Transformers slow-mo missile dodging in the first place!!!)Oh, and LOL at anyone who paid money to see L.O.L. Give Ferrell a nice SUPPORTING role. Stat.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:10:49 PM CDT
and...off topic, but that Indiana Jones collectible up there...
by executor
...in the upper right corner ad looks OLD AS FUCK. I thought it was Palpatine in a fedora for a second.
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Could it be that GI Joe will take the Worst Movie Ever Made title from Transformers? It's gonna be a down-n-dirty fight for last - can't wait.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:10:56 PM CDT
if you think GI JOE ranked as low as Serving Sara, you have aids
by mysterious_volvo
clearly. i havnt even seen the movie. but it simply would not acheive that kind of level of shittyness.
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then Shitformers 2: Revenge of Linkin Park... must be a goddamn train wreck. Yet people still continue to apologize for the clusterfuck shitfest that is Bayformers 1: Even Stevens with Robots
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And I mean good in the sense that these fuckers finally realized what a shitting job they have done and are now panicked over the consequences. Realization they were doomed, but public denial that it is a lost cause.
I imagine this is what Hitler's Bunker must have been like when the Soviet tanks were approaching Berlin. -
SPREAD SPREAD SPREAD!!!!!!!
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and the movie tested well and the director wasnt fired. when the director who was not fired, tested the film, the people liked it and it tested well. because the movie tested well the director was not fired, but thats not because the movie tested well its just because the director was not fired. when we did not fire the director, the movie tested well. did i mention the movie tested well? oh and director was not fired.
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he's tried his hardest to ruin his own career anyway
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LOL, he's had it coming for a while.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:18:36 PM CDT
They are making live action movies based on toy figures.
by herbwestaustin
Transformers and G.I. Joe? really? Next they'll be making movies about board games. er, wait...
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I mean, we saw the 'Acceleration Suits' WTF? I mean, seriously, WTF? That's the hook? Matrix slo mo 11 years later? No, this will suck. You know, I know it, the studio knows it, huge BOMB, like 88 to 97 million Domestic take bomb. This will die badly, and Revenge of the Fallen won't do as well as the 1st Transformers. Face it, we peaked with Star Trek this Summer Season. Bring on Augusts Inglorious Basterds and Where the Wild Things Are. Summer's over, its over man.
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Agreed.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:22:11 PM CDT
So posting messages on Boards does this much eh? Megan Fox is a
by stormwatcher
She tucks! Its true. Trust me. You don't know me so I must be right.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:22:13 PM CDT
I guess the Nispel for Conan news will arrive tomorrow then
by mysterious_volvo
fucking old news.com
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Is 2009 the beginning of movies that unite the entire AICN talkback communitiy in their hatred?
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...I WANT A REAL FUCKING COBRA COMMANDER UNIFORM FOR THAT 3RD ROCK KID IN THE SEQUEL. DON'T GIVE ME NONE OF THIS RAGHEAD WOULD RESEMBLE A GRAND WIZARD HORSESHIT. I WANT RAGS. I WANT MIRRORED HELMETS. THIS IS WAAAAAAAY WORSE THAN ANY FLAMES ON FISHLIPS.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:25:34 PM CDT
GIJOE super suits reminds me of Super Mario Bros jump boots
by kbarber29
Why does GI JOE need super suits to begin with? They should be able to do this without the super suits. Same with Super Mario movie. They gave Mario and Luigi super electronic jump boots. This movie is going to suck.
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Frankly, a GI JOE film could only shock me if it turned out to be good.
It would also shock me if the studio came out and said "Yes, this film sucks, back to the drawing board." I might even want to see the DVD with the "Shitty Cut" if the studio really wanted to pimp out how bad the film was before they recut it.
Bottom line for me is that I think that a GI JOE film could only be average at best, but I'd only want to see it if it were bad on an epic level. I am therefore hoping for the rumors to be true. -
If GI Joe bombs, you have to blame Hasbro. Why would they hire the director of Van Helsing? What could they be thinking? If it bombs, they're to blame for putting such trust in a hack. The best we can hope for is something as good as Deep Rising. Sommers' has a terrible track record.
I hope it's at least okay, but I'm not going to hold my breath. -
Notice how there's no real news on this site anymore? It's all reviews, and one pic of a new Iron Man character.
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"It's not Shakespeare!""What did you expect its based on a silly cartoon to sell toys!" "Fun mindless escapism action flick my son enjoyed it...what more do you want" I demand to hear these apologies for GI Joe after it comes out.
As long as GI Joe has fucked up action scenes, dumb pandering plot, horrible vomit inducing comedy, shit music, and retarded acting. It should make at least 700 million and have 2 more sequels and praised as an leave your brain at the door action popcorn blockbuster
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BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER, SELF-IMPORTANT MORANS!!11!111!ELEVENTYONE!!
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He's busy doing damage control but it won't work as this movie is going to suck donkey dicks. GIJoe would be ruined altogether if not for the devils due comics and especially the brilliant Resolute Microseries. Fucking Hasbro and Hama is also to blame for letting this shit happen.
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Where did they all go? Star Trek? That's it? Are there really anymore good directors? What happened? Money?
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SHEET!!
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Er, wait, I meant Razzies. GI JOE fans, right now, "Dueling Banjoes" is playing in the background as your childhoods slowly canoe down river...
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I have to confess, whatever wanning interest I had for this has only wanned further. Sommers. Sienna "can't punch my way out of a wet paper bag" Miller. "UN" Joes. Accelerator suits. It's all completely underwhelming. Just as with the Punisher franchise, you're dealing with military hardware and perhaps the demand for (slightly cheesy in Joes' case) action with said hardware on over-the-top villians. Why is this hard again?
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Stanley Kubrick took stuff out of THE SHINING after it PREMIERED. If it comes out as An Alan Smithee Film we'll know they fired Sommers. This film was always going to be silly and over the top. You guys are WAAAAAAY too emotionally invested in a cartoon and comics created as a tie-in for a toy line. Noone who isn't a fan would ever take this movie seriously.
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Starting with the Hangover. Year One looks funny. Maybe Funny People. Oh, and Where The Wild Things Are. That's not a comedy, but my point is, none of the big blockbusters (other than Star Trek, of course) are going to have blockbuster budgets.
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In a talkback about GI Fucking Joe?!
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Shit, the Republicans have been doing it for years.
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Check out wikipedia and see which fits the trailers better.
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now THOSE would make a good translation to the big screen! PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!
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Jun 11, 2009 5:54:02 PM CDT
Okay, we have a good cast, Quaid, Frasier, what can we do
by lockesbrokenleg
to fuck this up? COVER THEM UP IN SUPER SUITS!!! HELL YEAH!!!
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Cobra lalalala!!!
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looked uncontrolled, uncordinated, and fake as hell. Movement didn't match motion.
G.I. Joes didn't bounce around in power armor. They shouldn't have gone there. -
It worked for J.J.
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Jun 11, 2009 5:56:45 PM CDT
Can someone please explain what a "real Joe flick" would entail?
by jor-el23
It's a movie based on toys! F'ing toys! It's destined to be stupid and loud and maybe a little dumb. But I will tell you one thing. In all the footage I've seen so far I haven't seen anything that makes me groan in other action movies. I haven't seen the stupid attempts at humor (aka Will Smith Shuck 'n Jive Syndrome). The dialogue seems pretty much on par with most action movies in that it was clearly not penned by William Faulkner and it won't win any awards. But I've seen way worse trailer-featured bad action movie dialogue in my life.
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I have no doubt if they just showed the whoring hollywood home wrecking fuck machine who plays the baroness naked on the beach for two hours, this movie would be a runaway blockbuster.
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What with all the mecha suits and cheesiness. I bet the rights to that would have been cheaper, too. But this is really more about whoring out the brand name to sucker in the nostalgia crowd than it is about making an actual movie.
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She came pretty close in Trek.
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Who ever thought up the super suit stuff is the one who should be getting fired
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super suits are a bad idea. the blatantly rip off transformers and iron man. to the extent which the leaping throug hthe streets scene mimics the ironhide bounding through the streets in transformers.
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And of course a producer would never publicly say his movie is a turd and to avoid it.
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If you want them to make a serious, dramatic special forces type U.S. military action movie: they couldn't have ninjas and bad guys with metal face masks. How is this movie going to be any sillier than your beloved premise was to begin with?
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TDK proved you could do a serious superhero movie. But with the stigma GI JOE has, it can't be taken seriously.
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...Stephen Sommers' version of The Jungle Book and also Deep Rising. His two Mummy films are pretty irritating, but I simply loathe Van Helsing!
And now I see on IMDB that Sommers is planning to make 'Argonauts'... which I fear is a remake of the utterly brilliant Harruhausen flick Jason and the Argonauts. If Sommers fucks-up that movie he will truly be at the top of my really-fucking-shitty-directors-that-I-hate list. -
Is it just me, or does she have a Forgettable Face? I never recognize her in every movie where she pops up.
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...Harryhausen. Anyway, you know who I was talking about.
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but it isn't GIJOE. I think that's what's getting the bad buzz on this one.
If it was ANYTHING else, I think it would have been passable, like Hancock. -
No, they are not based on a toy. I am not going to go into the entire history of the GI JOE; Real American franchise, but I will say that us GI JOE fans want it based not on they toys, but on the Larry Hama comic book put out by Marvel Comics.
Larry Hama came up with the characters, the personalities, and the plots. He was a Viet Nam vet so he understands the military mind, and his Army jargon was right on (ex-Army so I know).
So, the "it is based on a toy" argument doesn't hold water with us Joe fans. -
for the first time ever yesterday due to the troy duffy docco. now it's famoose
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It had great stories, and nothing was silly about it.
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We're not. We're worked up over a movie based on a COMIC BOOK.Like Watchmen. Like The Dark Knight.Like Iron Man.Have you seen the frame of Outback hiding in the sewers while Quick-Kick's blood drips down on him?Or read the issues where Quick-Kick and Stalker ended up in a gulag?I'll never forget the description of the bullets pumping through the semi-translucent white-hot barrel of the hovercraft looking like speeding hornets during the battle for Cobra Island.And that's not even getting into the Snake Eyes stuff.The G.I.Joe comic book was a bigger seller than X-Men in its day. It was some of the most complex storytelling our young minds had seen. Sure, it's dated now, but so are the X-men books from that era, but that didn't stop anybody from taking THAT franchise seriously.
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Only they can prevent lying executives. I don't even believe there ever was a test screening. Unless they did it in bumble fuck no where where they internet eludes them.
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Who really cares about this movie anyway? I mean sorry for not being P.C. on the internet, but anybody who grew up on the 80's toys/comics/cartoon should be rightfully pissed at this awful movie that was shat out. And most people are blinded by Sienna Miller's breasts as if pr0n wasn't easily accessible with a few clicks of your mouse. I'm sure there's some Baroness pron out there for sure. Grow and backbone and fuck off with this movie. Overpowered Joes, non-mask/non-ninja-like Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes with his mouth exposed like he's going to speak? Classic character designs shit on in favor of boring black, CGI video game scenes.......ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Wouldn't that be grand? BODY MASSAGE!
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the running, jumping, gravity defying mummies from THE MUMMY RETURNS. Probably saved some dough on just re-skinning those in that thar computa.
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Am I misremembering, or was there an issue that was Snake Eyes-centric that featured no dialog?
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"Silent Interlude." Issue 21.
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Give em' hell malone is gonna be better than any other movie this summer.
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That woulda driven me nuts.
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that's the whole point of testing, to reduce a movie to a single numbers so retarded business people can work with it (the bigger the number, the gooder the movie). it enables you to compare it to anything.
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despite what u and other joe "fans" feel....gijoe is based on toys...toys that came out nearly 20 yrs before the original comics...in fact gi-joe was the barbie doll for boys when it was pitched....sorry to bust your bubble but jor-el is right....i dont believe anonymous net rumors....i think the movie will be great.
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in every film I've seen with the Gi-Joe trailer attached everyone groaned after. Who cares about how a test audience received it? The Mummy films and Van Helsing all sucked, the best thing Sommers has done was Deep Rising, and that is only good because it is fun to laugh at.
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If it is good dumb fun, it can still work. If it is just plain DUMB, then maybe NOT!
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to re-edit the movie, which can only be good news. Yes, he directed Star Trek Nemesis but he also edited The Omen (1976), which is a masterpiece of cutting.
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1. Sommers has never made a good film but he made an astoundingly AWFUL film: 'Van Helsing' 2. Sienna Miller turned in a TV-movie level performance in 'Factory Girl' 3. The '80s GI Joe is a TERRIBLE concept any way you slice it. But the one thing it had going for it was the look of the all the goofball foreign-accented COBRA people which they seem to have not translated into this version. I do not understand why the studios keep buying highly visual cartoon & comic book concepts and then turn everything into shaven-headed dudes in black suits.
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Will be the header for every 1 & 1/2 star review for this. I'm not against a G.I Joe movie, but this looks lame. Sorry Steve, I liked Deep Rising though.
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He would've written about that time he and Stephen Sommers hung out in Sommer's back yard in a tent and roasted marshmallows, whilst reminiscing about the days when Harry could walk without the aid of robot legs. ("Wheelchair", I think it's called...)
That, or the time he and Lorenzo di Bonaventura sat up in Harry's room, shoving G.I. Joe's up each other's asses while crank-calling Tarantino and telling him that Carradine is the ONE TRUE BILL. (Warren Beatty, who?)
Well written Beaks. No shameless name-dropping or anything. Keep up the good work.
OH YEAH!!! About the G.I. Joe flick... did anyone REALLY expect this to be a GOOD movie? Seriously?
I mean... goddamn ACCELERATOR SUITS!
Please stop raping my childhood, Hollywood. And stop eating my food, Harry. -
& it's pretty International. It's only "Real American hero" over there. My Dad had the British "Action Man" version when he was a kid & he was born in the 1950's.
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GI Joe was all about two things: (1) The vehicles. and (2) the characters. If they whiff on those it's gonna be a failure. Say what you will about TF, but at least they kept the Prime voice and the basics in place.
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I saw the trailer for G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA with my girlfriend at the theater. She turned to me and whispered, "LoneGun, I think I've got a headache after watching that trailer." I said to her, "Me too, Angel. Me too. Looks like a two-hour video game."Stephen Sommers - here's a director who's taken some of the greatest classic franchises - the Mummy, Frankenstein, Dracula, and Jeckyll & Hyde - and turned them into comical Saturday morning cartoons on a large canvass. This is not a guy who's good for quality film. Rarely have I said this: I hope this film flops big time.
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your girlfriend calls you, "LoneGun"?
That's beautiful man... -
one way or the other.
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dont bother trying to tell people its based on a comic..unfortunately thats not the case anymore. people only regard it as "toys" now and it seems the producers trying to reach the biggest audience with the lowest common denominator failed even to do that. WE will still have the comics..we can live with that.and for those saying now they'll make it right--no its done. with something this overblown and costly that fails, there are no second shots--not anymore.
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... to draw my own conclusions about this movie: (1) Stephen Sommers, (2) No more "Real American Hero" but a UN-like team, and (3) supersuits.
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"no second shots"?
Um... Batman, Superman, Hulk, Punisher (not to great success, though), soon-to-be FF4 and Daredevil...
There's a few more re-do's or revamps, (whatever you wanna call them) out there. -
Ok, I am going to go over the history of the GI JOE: Real American toys.
Hasbro used to have a doll called GI JOE which, as slkboxrman says, was a Barbie for boys (my older brother had one - it was awesome). Hasbro decided to relaunch the line, but as Star Wars sized action figures, and decided to cross promote them with a comic book by Marvel Comics.
Larry Hama at this time had pitched an idea to Marvel for a comic book called FURY FORCE, about Nick Fury's illegitimate son leading a Special Forces team against Hydra. Marvel decided not to green-light it, but when Hasbro came to them about their GI Joe idea, Marvel let Hama alter his FURY FORCE idea into GI JOE and pitch it to them.
Hasbro came up with basically rough outlines of the characters, which were essentially Infantryman, Communications, Commando, Laser Rifleman, etc. Larry Hama came up with their names, code names, MOS, ranks, personalities and character bios (do you think it was Hasbro who made Snake-Eyes a ninja, or Japanese-American Larry Hama who studied Judo, Kyūdō, Kendo and Iaido?).
Al Milgrim at Marvel said they needed a villain to be fighting, and he is the one came up with the organization Cobra.
So yes Habro had a GI Joe doll out first, but the Real American characters didn't come to life until Marvel Created them. -
I'm looking forward to watching this movie and punching the first kid I see under the age of 18 after I walk out of the theatre
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Yeah, I know what you mean. It seems like every GI JOE TB we have to explain how Larry Hama is really the creator of GI JOE: A Real American Hero.
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Larry Hamas vision of GI Joe this ain't
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I'm not doubting you. You clearly know more about it than me. But where does "Action Man" figure into that? No pun intended.
As far as I know, the two are the same toy, under a different name, which subsequently joined under one brand name in the late 80's, I believe. Much like you guys had Snickers bars, we Had Marathon bars, same thing, different brand name, which eventually joined under the Snickers brand.
As I mentioned, my Dad had an Action Man when he was a kid & that would appear to be before these comic books you're talking about. -
Jun 11, 2009 7:11:50 PM CDT
Yeah this has definitely been a shitty summer for movies
by pissed off and bitter
The only good things that came out of it were Star Trek (surprisingly) and probably Michael Mann's upcoming Dillinger flick. Other than that the movies that were supposed to rock all have been utter shit. I'm amazed the writers on these films even have jobs or other stuff lined up.
One good thing happened though..... McG's movie career is in doubt. You know how I went on about him directing with Mulcahy? I think they should give Mulcahy Terminator. At least he would turn in something watchable. -
WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE????
PORKCHOP SANDWHICHES
HEY KIND,IM A COMPUTER.STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN.
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It must be really tough to be in charge of the Organization for Crap No One Gives a Damn About.
OCNOGDA
What's the pay like? Oh wait... you benefit NOTHING from this useless argument. Bale love you you sad, sad fanboys. -
superman and batman killed outta the gate! with superman it took 20 years to get back to the sceen. batman it took a little less than ten and i credit that to the star wars prequels.FF, hulk, and daredevil--i think they are owned by different studios so marvel started over.the less said about the punisher the better. i cant believe i actually crave the days that dolph's punisher was the lone marvel film.DO you honestly want studios to just keep cranking out the same shitty films over and over again? the results are the same..if its a hit--they make a sequel and make it "bigger" if it bombs miserably--the make a reboot and try agin---THEY STILL GET YOUR FUCKING MONEY!!! its pathetic.
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I had the same feeling watching the trailer from when i was a little kid seeing the series...and the vehicles feel like toys too....only black.
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but the creation of GI JOE, which this film is unholy bastardization of, and all GI JOE now comes from Hama. the comics the cartoons, the toys in the stores at this very moment.
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G.I.Joe Sigma 6. They were called "Sigma Suits."It's the equivalent of deciding to make a live action Transformers: Armada movie all about fighting over the power masters.
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this is your summer--you got T4, transformers 2, GI joe.. wow so much shit, so little time...try not to miss dance film--its a scorcher, should be right up your alley.
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Everyone knows that the script was rushed to beat the writer's strike and is absolute crap. http://tinyurl.com/mc8oze
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This makes no sense to me.
One was awesome and the others were unwatchable shit.
I was merely making the point that in the world of "imagination" that is Hollywood, there is ALWAYS a "do-over". They've been doing it forever and people will always eat it up. I don't care who you are... you'll eat it up because you've been trained to.
Honeymooners = Flintstones
Uh...
... someone help me out... I know there's more examples... -
About the G.I. Joe movie, its behind the scenes drama, braindead director Sommers, or...
What was I talking about? Aw, I forgot. -
I collected the trading cards for some odd reason, but that's it. So I have no investment in this pile of shit, thankfully. When I saw the trailer in the theater, laughter ensued immediately after. From me, my friends and maybe about a third of the rest of the crowd. I cannot believe how far off the mark they are on this movie. And Dennis Quaid looks fucking stupid with his little beret.
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yuck yuck yuck
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Someone answer me this?
Someone find a cancer-riddled child and have them approach the Make-A-Wish Foundation with the request to have them tied down and nibbled to death by chinchillas. DOO EEET NAAAOOOO!!!
Fuck Dance Flick. -
its more like a cartoon adaptation or ripoff.people enjoyed the prequels and they made a lot of money....so they made a "prequel" to batman. they did the origin story. it made money.
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That might be a movie I might enjoy watching.
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GI Jooooooeeeee
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I now have you arguing the finer points of the Flinstones.
Look at how silly you look.
"DURRR DUURRRR DUUURRRRRRR!!!"
That's you. -
that's what you sound like.
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GI Joe was a toy that was turned into a comic book and cartoon. This movie is based on a toy.
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WHADONCHUFUCKINUNNERSTAN?
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is he undead or something? OH SHIT I'm thinking of Don Simpson, never mind
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GI Joe looks like a P.O.S
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I wasn't aware he had actually created the characters. I was already in High School when this all started so I never really read the book or watched the cartoons. But the fact remains, whatever seriousness and depth Hama brought to the table: It's still toys for little boys who like Ninjas and Bad Guys with Metal Masks. If Hama's comics are so great, are they re-releasing them as graphic novels to tie in with the movie? I haven't seen them anywhere...
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Ok, I'm getting confused now.
First of all, I should probably point out that I was never a GI JOE or Action Man fan, so I don't really care that much. BUT,you just said that GI JOE dolls existed in the 40s (which would also explain how my Dad had an Action Man).
Then you said that the characters as they are now, come from the Hama comic, right? So, basically people are right. It's based on a toy.
It doesn't matter if these particular characters & their stories were created by this Hama guy, if the toy existed first, then it's based on a toy, surely?
I mean, you can argue that "this character isn't strictly that character", but to me, if the GI JOE toy existed & was changed later, both the film & the comic book are based on the toy in a matter of fact way. -
Is the British name for the GI JOE doll because, really, why would the Brits by a doll named after the slang term for American Soldiers
Kind of like how the Brit film "Who Dares Wins" title was changed to "Final Solution" in the US, because we don't know that Who Dares Wins is the moto of the SAS. -
you just made him "sound" silly.
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actually marvel is has been re-releasing ALL their book in TPB form for some time--its a lot cheaper to read them this way...but yeah GI JOE is one of them. YO FUCKING JOE!
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or do I....?
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So you new about a movie scoop, didn't post trying to stay out of the fray, another site gets the scoop, then when people talk about you decide to talk about it, but instead of talking about it you post someone from another site talking about it. I've seen sloths in comas who weren't as lethargic. Fuck either have no morals and get the scoop or have morals and don't write at all. This middle of the road bullshit looks sad if true and pathetic too late to the party excuse bullshit if you're lying.
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The GI JOE brand name is owned by Hasbro, and they can do whatever they want with it.
However, if you are using Larry Hama's material, I think you should be respectfully enough to stay true to it. The man created the characters and story line that made your toy line so popular. To just haphazardly use some of his stuff and just discard the rest is both lazy and disrespectful.
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not really--the toy GI JOE was around during the war. THE CHARACTERS--duke, scarlet,storm shadow et al. came from the comics, later popularized in cartoons (to sell more toys) and toys (to sell more comics)
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Yeah, the suits were a dumb idea. Channing Tatum was a bad idea. Snake eyes with a mouth was a bad idea. Destro without a facemask is a bad idea. Stephen Sommers was a bad idea. WHO MAKES THESE DECISIONS?
Smart movies can sell toys too. Iron Man, Dark Knight, Star Trek, they sold tons of toys. Sure, they're not 'that smart', but at least TRY not to make the movie look like a retarded parody of a retarded parody!!! TRY DAMMIT!!! I mean, the source material is ALREADY THERE!!!! -
from the gospel of Wise!
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Thats my early review. You know it to be true
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Because that was pretty funny.
You funny bitch, you. -
I was just wondering.
& Continentalop, I know Action Man had a different name because we wouldn't have a doll named after the American slang term. I was just wondering how Action Man existed lobg before this Hama guy's stuff if it's the same toy. It makes sense now. -
It's a chicken and egg argument with them. Hasbro wanted to do toys and they wanted Marvel to do a tie in comic. Hama altered his Fury Force pitch and they let him come up with the characters. Marvel was doing all kinds of comics based on toys in the 80's. You don't see anybody itching to make a movie about R.O.M. or the Micronauts do you? It's because the GI JOE brand name has more audience recognition. And I seriously doubt GI JOE was selling better than X-MEN, even at its height. The youngest kids playing with the toys and watching the cartoon may not have even been aware that there WAS a comic, let alone been able to read it.
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You might try looking in the section at Barnes and Noble where they have the graphic novels. (Those are the big ones with the color pictures, not the little black and white ones with the girls with the big eyes.)IDW started releasing them now--volume one collects issues 1-10. Volume two is a mixed bag, with a couple issues by people other than Hama. Volume three is when it really picks up, with the silent story, the introduction of Duke, Roadblock, and Zartan, and the start of the reveals about Snake-Eyes' origin.Now go buy them so this time they'll go further than volume five, where Marvel stopped last time because Hasbro pulled the comics rights from Marvel.
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For a time it was the best selling comic of the 80's.
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I know where the Graphic Novels are. :^P So Marvel is letting IDW reprint their old stuff? I guess if they let Dark Horse reprint their Conan stuff, that shouldn't surprise me.
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I have said this in other TBs so I will repeat myself and say it in this one: GI JOE: Real American Hero has sentimental value to me, especially the comic book.
My dad is a Korean Vet, and I couldn't talk to him about Star Wars or horror movies or comic books (except for Dick Tracy and Terry and the Pirates - he was a fountain of information on those ones), but I could talk to him about GI JOE. Why? Because despite the comic book setup, it was actually a pretty accurate comic book about the Army and the military. When Scarlett used an M3 submachine gun, my dad could tell me it was a real weapon and it was nicknamed a "grease gun." When the bios listed their MOS and secondary MOS, my dad could tell me what that stood for. When I read about LRRP and how they stood for Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol, I could talk to my dad about them (although they a product of the Viet Nam war, my dad stayed up to date on the news). And when the characters mentioned going through OSUT or how someone was 97B, he could explain what that meant.
Besides that Larry Hama meant his comic book to be a salute to the men and women he served with, and show the diversity of backgrounds amongst people in the army. The clips I see for GI JOE: The rise of Cobra don't seem to be a salute to soldiers as much as a salute to bad CGI. -
Watch GI JOE: Resolute. I think it captures the spirit of the characters while updating things.
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when no one, and I mean NO ONE expected anything to be right with it? We're basically going to this to watch a corny, cheesy action film and maybe see a few cool nods to the franchise, and see a sweet ninja fight. That's about it for expectations on this film.
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Thor, the Norse God of Thunder, existed centuries before the comic book character. Hell, there was Thors in comics even before Goldilocks appeared in Marvel comics.
But if someone was going to make a movie which he said was based on the Marvel Thor, and used none of Lee, Kirby, Walt Simonson and a bunch of other writers and artist stuff (or even worse) butchered it, I think the Thor comic fans would have a right to complain. -
& I don't wanna be jumped on for this. I know Americans can take offence at this kind of thing sometimes, even when it isn't intended as offensive, so please take it in the way it's meant...
I can understand the annoyance at something as quintessentially American as something like "Real American Hero" being changed to a more international feel, (I hate it when British things are changed, or like when in certain areas with a large Muslim population back home, they change Christmas to "Winterval", so as to not offend them. For fuck's sake!
But, while I'm sure there are "Real American Heroes" out there, fighting for their country (& I say that as someone whose Brother & best friend are in Afghanistan & Iraq), the truth is, a lot of countries doubt what your country stands for.
You see, it isn't just the wars you got involved in under Bush. People have seen Americans as Imperial overlords for a long time, in the same way you probably saw us Brits a couple of hundred years ago. There might have been a time when American soldiers were seen as the good guys, but for the past 40 odd years or so, people have doubted not your military, who are doing their best in a tough job, but your country's reasons for invading other countries. In many ways, a lot of those countries would see something like GI JOE as imperialistic.
It's like Black Hawk Down for example. In the movie, you're liberators, in reality, you invaded a country withy a democratically elected leader, because he nationalised the oil companies, that you used to control their country. In many cases it's like "We believe in Democracy, but we'll squash the democracies of others to maintain our own." Until you lose that image, those who hate Americans will see it as Imperialism & those like me who judge governments (including my own) on their actions, will see it as Team America.
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Geezus. Larry Hama essentially created the characterizations and the world of "G.I. Joe," in the 80's comic books; those stories depicted relatively sophisticated plots and characters for their day, on par with prestige format material like "Camelot 3000."Larry Hama has launched many a career in mainstream comics—he's a multi–talented writer/editor/artist and his "G.I. Joe" is the DEFINITIVE version of the character.Warren Ellis has done an fine job with the "Adult Swim" animated version of Joe, but doesn't seem to get acknowledged for it, as apparently animation can't buy the respect that a $100+ million franchise monster can. If the movie attempted even this level of action and intrigue it might placate fans of the comic.IMO the trailer doesn't do that. It looks like "Megaforce" from 1981. With bullet–time.
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"Real American Hero" isn't gonna do well in a lot of countries overseas. It's all about the money. They don't give a fuck about the characters.
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But it's not gonna do jack shit for this terrible, derivative, soulless cash grab. Thanks, guys. I generally only post because I like making people laugh, and it's kinda difficult to gauge response because, again, the internet.
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And based on what has been posted here already to date there has been a mean-on for this movie from the word go that has been preposterous. Any of you wanting a Saving Private Ryan version of GIJoe as adapted from the toys and cartoon can go sit and spin. Stop being so silly.
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That movie was terrible. I actually found the parts without the robots to be better than the parts with them. No, I don't think there's anything new about these movies being bad, it's just media spin and what people are in the mood for that determines if they recognized as the bad movies they are or not. Big yawn. Sorry Sommers hasn't made anything as fun as the Mummy movies though. They weren't great movies, but they were fun to watch at least. Van Helsing could not be watched, it was too awful. I'm sorry if he's continuing down that path. Even Deep Rising had some entertainment value.
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The Real American Hero slogan came out of the Reagan 80s, and I can understand it not playing good overseas.
And truthfully, America has not always used its military power wisely. Afghanistan - necessary; Iraq - bone headed as hell.
But I think there is nothing wrong with celebrating soldiers - people who volunteer to be put in harms way for their countryman. And all of the problems of our military is really not the militaries fault, it is the politicians fault. I know a lot of people have a hard time separating the two, but the government, which is elected officials, decide when and where the military will be deployed. Whether it was Johnson and Viet Nam or Bush and our current quagmires, the Army carries out the orders of the Commander in Chief (so in a way, it is democracy that is to blame for our military blunders - go figure). -
This Internationalist bullshit makes this a no-see for me.
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Fuck all you douchebags. Seriously. I'm looking more forward to this than Star Trek.
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In fact, usually it is the military who resist the most against bad political strategies. When the public and the press were quiet about torture, it was members of the US military who first spoke up against it.
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But it's not Shakespeare and entire issues were designed around promoting the latest toy releases so stop acting like it's holy writ. They were serious fun for boys but that was then. The conclusions being drawn from the trailers are more ridiculous than anything in them.
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Deep Rising-Solid,funny B monster movie Mummy-Solid, funny adventure(I always thought of it as a Blue & Gold movie, so I'm biased) Mummy Returns-Absolute Crap with 90% recycled from the first movie(oh, a giant wave of water instead of a wave of sand, oh, an airship instead of a biplane, etc) Van Helsing-Piss poor storytelling meets cliche and really, really bad CG. He really has been in decline since his second movie. That career arc is so terrible it's almost impressive.
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It's just unfortunate that the lines between both your soldiers & ours, (who are doing a bloody difficult job & should be celebrated), & the intentions/percieved images of our countries & their leaders, get blurred to the extent that "Real American Hero", would come across badly in a lot of countries & so the studio is thinking of the money instead of the characters.
It's like when they changed Superman's "Truth, Justice and the American way" to "Truth, Justice..all that stuff." I grew up reading & watching Superman. That phrase didn't bother me at all, but it will bother some people. It sucks, but they do it for the money. -
Latino Review pussed out and didn't press him for real answers because they *really* like GI JOE and think it looks like a good movie. So they didn't press him for the real scoop. Notice how they carefully avoided asking the question "Has Sommers been locked out of the editing room?" and instead asked the ambiguous "Hey, what's going on in the editing room?" allowing Lorenzo to reply "Oh the same thing that always happens. We're trying to make a good film." Paraphrasing of course, but what kind of answer is that? Its a NON-answer. And of COURSE the producer isn't going to admit that their film received the lowest score ever. I'm not saying the film DID, of course, and I'm not suggesting the story is completely true. But to believe Lorenzo after Latino Review's lame questions? Please. He just told them EXACTLY what they, as GI JOE fanboys, wanted to hear.
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All in good fun, pally. Glad you liked it. Be sure to tip your waitstaff. Good Night!
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Hama was not obligated to put any of the new toys or figures in the comic, or to use only the characters from the comic, until a couple of years into the series when Hasbro renegotiated with Marvel. After that they pushed that any new character must be in a comic the same month as he is released, and they said that only characters from the toy line must be used (which is why they killed off the awesome October Guard).
Before then, Hama had pretty much free reign (with obvious exceptions) to do what he wanted.
Shakespeare, no. Damn good storytelling, yes. -
Their lives are built around selling bullshit. I for one believe this rumor because all the footage so far from this film has looked TERRIBLE, so it doesn't surprise me at all to hear it got very low scores. The script was rushed ahead of the writer's strike- you really think that's a sign of good things to come?
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and this smells of damage control... lets face it, the movie is going to be trashy and obviously there are some sore heads - most likely financiers who had a bit of heart in the original concept of making GI Joe into a big feature action film. Seriously, how would you feel if you're concept was laughed at by test screenings and totally misunderstood by the director? If it didn't happen, then they should have said things like "We ahven't even tested it yet." or "Sommers is hard at work and doens't have time for these silly internet rumous" but we didn't get any denial at all. we got political double talk where you think they've said something but haven't actually said anything!
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motherfucking Kung Fu Grip?
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Can anyone put a demographic on this movie? I mean, by looking at the trailer and other scenes, who is this movies target audience? Because, well, I think kids of the 12-13 year old variety look at videogames like "WoW" or "GTA". Any ideas people?
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have the weird moving eyes?
I remember Action Man in the very early 80's (who funnily enough looked like the lead from Who Dares Wins, Lewis something or other. It had a little button on the back of its head, which you could toggle to make him look around, like a weird ventriloquist's dummy. -
It is just to jingoistic. It sounds like the rants of Anne Coulter when she was praising Pat Tilman after he died (but before she found out that he was against the Iraq Invasion and was an atheist).
They should still be Americans of course. I would love it if they did a good GI Joe movie where they met and worked with their British counterpart. Special Forces Counter Terrorism Group - Delta, teaming up with 22X Special Counter Terrorism Regiment (code named: Action Men). -
"Yes, the movie is geared towards the 10-12 year old crowd, but isn't that how old most of us were that were into G.I. Joe in the first place? Somehow we liked it back then and the cartoon is pretty damn goofy if you watch it again as an adult. What is it you're expecting? A live action Shipwreck to run around firing a laser gun with a fucking parrot on his shoulder?"*Banging head against wall*CO and SDB, please go set him straight. I haven't the will any longer.Oh, and "El Guapo"? He thinks of himself as "handsome"? I sure hope he is being sarcastic.
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The big screen rape of properties established in other media is unfortunate and unforgivable.
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the red, white, and blue bunting stripe, even if they dropped ARAH. But it's probably best to just unabashedly go with what it was, is. They have to resist feeling shame or timidity if they are to seriously adapt the feel, and aesthetics (such as Cobra Commander's hood).
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jealous that while he was wanking to megan fox pictures and crying, hasbro didn't knock on his door and ask him if he would like to make a 3 hour long dead serious movie about men with no real names fighting other man with no real names for, uh, something. oh and there would be a man in a cast iron facemask that [wait for it] can move, because its a special metal that is weak enough move when he moves his lips, like foil. and then he would feel validated and then maybe he would feel like he hadn't wasted his life.
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He plays it light until the story "Who Dares Wins" and then some fascinating character/plot/theme revelations come out——and it's no joking matter.Do you think that might work for a take on "G.I. Joe"?
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Seriously man?
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I always hear good things about Ennis, but whenever I try reading his stuff I feel like I got to go take a shower.
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considering that character was an early positive Latino character in comics.
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SOMEONE'S FOUND IT, LET'S SEE IT. BTW, I already saw a Joe movie this summer - it was Warren Ellis' "GI Joe: Resolute" on Adult Swim at midnight a couple months ago.
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a silly decision only existing in the sub par cartoon, not the original comic book. If they did want to have it move in live action, however, they could mimic the look of Klytus from Flash Gordon '80.
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http://tinyurl.com/2t49d5
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we lost our avatar love machine. oh well, the next train will arrive any minute.
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And my eyes started glazing over about half way through. This "franchise" has been through all kinds of goofy permutations, including crossover tie ins with the Transformers. They were TOYS, folks. Toys with Cool Weapons and Cool Vehicles. And Larry Hama sounds like a cool guy. But if Lars Von Trier made an art film about the Smurfs, it would still be a toy tie in movie. And GI JOE was a toy tie in comic book.
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—but, he is funny as hell. And, smart with plotting. "Hitman" was in the DCU, so it couldn't go too far outside of the Comics Code restrictions. It wasn't a code book, I believe, but it towed the line.Anyhow, any comics fans of "G.I. Joe" have an interest in (or comment on) the Warren Ellis penned "G.I. Joe: Resolute"?
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I'm just trying to point out the fact that Beaks is using an extremely weak "straight from the horse's mouth" argument as evidence against this rumor. Give me a break, we're all smarter than that.
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They laugh at GI Joe fans for wanting a "Saving Private Ryan-esque movie" (personally, I think it is overrated). I ask: why not?
Who are the biggest fans of GI JOE? Guys in there 20s, 30s & even 40s. GI JOE: RAH isn't like Batman or Superman or SPider-Man with a new generation to replace the old, it has a definitive shelf life and the guys who grew up on it are now older.
So what did we want to see when you were kids when we read the comics or watched the cartoon? We wanted to see the shit they couldn't show. And now that we are adults we want it even more. We want to see people get shot and killed, see how tough the Joes really are, and have Cobra do realistic terrorist plots, not rust bombs. We want what they did to Batman in TDK - make it something we can enjoy as adults and believe in. What they did to the Joker - take him from albino psychotic clown with Joker venom to psycho anarchist with makeup and a Glasgow smile - we want to see them do to Cobra Commander - go from the tool that yelled "Cobra" to a modern day Hitler figure/Osama contemporary.
At least I know I do. -
Yes, the name GI JOE comes from the toy, but EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in the film comes from a comic book. You do see the difference, don't you?
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I used to read the Transformers comics (pretty serious & deep compared to the cartoon, at least for a kid anyway). I never cared for the crossover part in the back.
It was usually a couple of pages of crap, just any excuse to appeal to both sets of fans & sell toys. -
Archived post inside - I think this is the original post, I found it over at hollywood-elsewhere:
""After a test screening [of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra] in which the film got the lowest test score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount, the executive who pushed for the movie -- Brad Weston -- had Stephen Sommers, the superhack director of the film, fired. Removed. Locked out of the editing room.
"Stuart Baird, a renowned fixer editor, was brought it to try to see if G.I. Joe could be made releasable. Meanwhile producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, whose turkey Imagine That (also championed by Weston) explodes this weekend as the new bomb in theatres, was told his services were no longer needed on the film either.
"Sommers was then forced by his William Morris agents to pretend that he was working on Tarzan over at Warner Brothers, doing design work, even though that film doesn't even have a good script yet. When word of the firing started to be whispered about in Hollywood, Sommers was summoned back to the editing room but merely to save appearances. Baird is still re-editing the movie with studio input.
"Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, who turned down other offers from the property to go with the script that was rushed out in eight weeks by Stuart Beattie (i.e., because of the writer's strike), is frantic that the Sommers-created debacle will destroy the brand and is now distancing himself from the pending catastophe.
"None of this needed to happen. The problem is that someone did not know the mythology. Lorenzo di Bonaventura was in charge of the film and never contradicted Sommers on anything. Lorenzo, so you know, was previously a senior Warners honcho and had GI Joe under option there (not as a producer) for seven years and he refused to greenlight the film, stating that because he grew up in Italy he had no knowledge of it.
"If you google enough, at one point you will see he wanted the film to be about an action hero named Mann (Action Man...got it) and he clearly had no clue what the GI Joe world really was.
"And the hapless hack Sommers? Where did he come from? The confused Jon Fogelman at William Morris, who signed Hasbro away from CAA, had to find a director in a hurry for his new clients and gave [Paramount] the only guy who he repped who would do it. A sad end to what could have been a great franchise. Acceleration suits indeed."
...add-on: So I got in touch with my guy and here's what he said: "The bottom line is that you don't read stuff like this about a film that's working. The bad buzz around G.I. Joe has been swirling around for a long time. The studio knows it's a bomb and is trying to mitigate the disaster.
"Sommers' complete autonomy got them into this mess, but he doesn't have it anymore. He was petulant and demanding throughout the production and got his way at ever turn, until now. This isn't about his final cut nor anyone's respective 'vision' as they're now mightily endeavoring to get a version of this film together that's releasable and can get the biggest opening possible.
"One person at Paramount said it's the weakest major release since Escape From L.A. Any hopes for a new tentpole are completely gone."
YOU'RE WELCOME CUNTS -
Batman has teamed up with Superman, Wonder Woman and the Blue Devil, has met the Incredible Hulk, has teamed up with Bat-Mite, and once had a dog known as Ace the Bat-Hound.
Comic books go in a lot of whacky directions, but it doesn't mean the essential element is goofy or ridiculous. -
panicked about what happens to their name brand because that would imply that they had any standards to begin with.
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I'm kinda stunned that Sommers has final cut. Does Roland Emmerich have final cut? or Len Wiseman?
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Boy you have your work cut out for you.
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Jun 11, 2009 9:04:20 PM CDT
This is how Cobra Commander looks like in movie....
by nuking the fridge
like pure garbage...
http://moviesblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/032509_cobracommander.jpg -
I grew up on the cartoon and played with the figures as a boy but i have no desire to see this movie
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But as I said above, how serious could your war movie be with Ninjas, and a guy with a metal mask working for an organization called COBRA? It's inherently SILLY. That doesn't mean it's not Cool. The Sean Connery Bond films were cool. They were also inherently silly and they didn't take themselves seriously. But a whole generation of movie makers DID. So now EVERY action hero has to kill people while making quips and have an eye candy love interest who usually gets bumped off or captured at some point so the hero can seek revenge against the baddie while mowing down his henchmen. Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, Gibson, Russell. Almost EVERY 80's action hero was just Bond on Steroids. Those movies are inherently silly too. Cool? Sure. But Silly.
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That's exactly what I didn't need to see. Oh man, it burns, it BURNS!!The goggles do nothing…
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They sure don't. They certainly do NOT exhibit any respect for the source material. Cobra Commander looks like a checklist of bad villain cliches such as damaged face, respirator, mask, and a rocket launcher that looks like a penis. Boy, this will get me in the movie theater come August.
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Channing Tatum as Duke? Marlon Wayans? A scrawny euro-pussie as Destro? "Super Suits"? FUCK THIS! This movie had so much potential. I knew this project was fucked when Sommers was brought on board. I will not see it.
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Jun 11, 2009 9:19:40 PM CDT
Cymbal, I was being a little tongue in cheek when I said
by continentalop
They should be like SPR. I really don't want it to be like that - because it is an adventure/action tale, not a war movie. And like you said, it is inherently SILLY (just like SPECTRE was inherently silly).
But I don't want it to be ridiculous or obviously childish. I want it to be somewhere between GUNS OF NAVARONNE, DIRTY DOZEN, WHO DARES WINS, BOURNE trilogy and JAMES BOND (Daniel Craig) on one side, and Nolan's BATMAN, THE OCTAGON, INDIANA JONES and JAMES BOND (Connery, Moore and Brosnan) on the other.
I want it to be an action/adventure movie that adults can enjoy, but kids can show up too, like TDK and Iron Man. -
are just Clint Eastwood from the 60's and 70's. Tarantino and Rodriguez' tough guys (and gals), Bourne, the revamped Bond,Vin Diesel's Riddick, Nolan's Batman. It's just Dirty Harry or the Man with No Name all over again. Those are the two action templates everybody rips off. Variations on a Theme...
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But mostly I want it so it isn't something that makes me squirm uncomfortably and feel embarrassed for the filmmakers and sorry for Larry Hama ever time I see the trailer.
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I'll forgive everything they do wrong with this movie if they threw in a special message at the end of the movie because "Knowing is half the battle."
and thank you Nuking the Fridge for the cobra commander pic. I have been curious since the trailer shows nothing... -
Point Taken. They SHOULD have made it like the movies you're talking about based on what you guys are saying about the characters.
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Damn did those smell good!
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If the studio and the executives gave me a chance, I am sure I could save this film and make it into a box office hit if they let me do pick-ups.
My pitch: full on lesbo scene between Scarlett & Baroness while Cover Girl masturbates in the corner.
I guarantee that it would be number one over the weekend. -
Jun 11, 2009 9:33:07 PM CDT
i find it hard to believe that anyone thought...
by jackknifed_juggernaut
that this movie would be served with anything other than fail-biscuits. seriously, aside from the names of the characters and the look of Snake Eyes, what in the *fuck* does this have in common with G.I. Joe?
if you cut the trailer so that Snake Eyes wasn't present, and the title "G.I. Joe" was never displayed, you would never be able to guess what property it was. hardly a sign things were ever going in the right direction... -
Maybe it WILL be both. That trailer looks like a halfway decent movie until the CGI suits kick in. I'll read some of the old comics. I'm certainly not denigrating Hama's attempt to do something realistic.
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and a Xamot/Tomax love scene...with each other.
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And give us a teaser for "Marmaduke" while your at it and you've got BOX OFFICE GOLD!
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Baroness is Cobra Commander's sister in it and she was Duke's fiancee and "DUKE" was his friend and some other weird shit like that. I guess not many people knew about the plot points cause they got all their news here and it wasn't reported.
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before the first pictures.
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This thing is a pile of shit. No need to actually watch the thing.
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Action with just a touch of humor. Connery and Eastwood obviously. But in those days we also had: Steve McQueen. James Coburn. Lee Marvin. James Garner. Even Charles Bronson had a humorous side before he started making nothing but Death Wish flicks. That's why those old epics worked. Nowadays every actor is either a Hardass or a Dumbass. You can't picture Christian Bale making self deprecating quips and you can't picture Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet no matter how much weight he loses.
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That certainly is a way to make a movie, ignore the source material. And get totally surprised when bad word of mouth arrives.
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its a kids live action cartoon. deal with it.
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Jun 11, 2009 9:50:08 PM CDT
oh, and the Crimson Twins were the coolest part
by jackknifed_juggernaut
of the show. someone wake me up when the film series is rebooted starring Hugh Jackman as Tomax & Xamot.
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Haha haaa. But if you don't throw in Dr. Mindbender and Serpentor then no deal!
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Jun 11, 2009 9:53:19 PM CDT
leslie neilsen and lloyd bridges were serious actors too once
by six demon bag
quien es mas macho? ricardo mantalban...or llyod bridges?
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are they still alive?
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self deprecating and not too serious. It depends on the role. Some lighter moments with Michael Caine in "Children of Men" (comedy out of the situation, not a gag) and from Colin Farrell "In Bruges."I would guess it depends on the role and the scene.
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in WITHOUT A CLUE!! ooh and dirty rotten scondrels.
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Diversity and technical chops, plus emotional truth in every scene.
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is beyond me.
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I recall watching the 20th Anniversary TF TAM DVD. In one of the Docs in the Special Features Sun Bow Creative Consultant Jay Roach openly admitted that Transformers and GI Joe cartoons were toy commercials. The comics, albeit the few I bought back in the day because of the far cooler titles out at the time like the original Mirage studios TMNT, were alright. But as a previous post stated GI Joe was a toy from the 50's.... Kinda like a Barbie doll sized Army man. So any incarnation was not possible without the toy. Hence something to push a toy brand. I wasn't expecting much from the first TF movie....But enjoyed it because it had some heart to itI'm not expecting something like the early works of Bob Kane and Bill Finger about an insomniac detective vigilante who has anger management issues and a pension for accidentally killing people I can't say what to make of the GI Joe flick until some reviews pour in and how soon.
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Entertainment is made today without the purpose of selling something for profit,. And you are equally naive if you think that none of that was ever good.
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Jun 11, 2009 10:24:18 PM CDT
i'll tell you someone who's LOVING this Joe turmoil...
by jackknifed_juggernaut
that would be one Mike Bay. just like decent-looking girls tend to keep a fat/ugly chick around in order to amplify their hotness, so shall Bay's Transformers do with this (moreso) dreck of a film.
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The Dungeons and Dragons movie from a few years back. It even has a Wayans.
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that. sigh.
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Jun 11, 2009 10:38:59 PM CDT
Given the fairly good audience response to Terminator Salvation
by pig_ignorant
despite the fact that the script and the characterisations (except for Yelchin and the half Korean hottie's) were shitty shit shit, it seems doubtful that GI Joe would have rated too terribly, given that, like TS, it appears to be full of enough effects and OTT action sequences to keep the masses happy. Then again, I guess it's possible that it was screened with most FX unfinished. In which case I could easily believe it. I mean, come on. It's a fucking movie based on a toy, directed by a hack.
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Jun 11, 2009 10:41:40 PM CDT
Fanboys will hate it. The General Public will love it
by lockesbrokenleg
That is the way of the Force.
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I think I'm going to see G.I. Joe just for that reason.....I'm a sucker for shit movies.
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I know most of you Joe fans werent here for those infamous Transformemr talkbacks but you guys are going through the same thing we did its all boils down to respect.
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Jun 11, 2009 10:56:02 PM CDT
I dunno I think even the general public thinks accelerator suits
by d.vader
Are stupid.
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The negativity on this site is awesome. What a bunch of (_o_)'s. Questions: is this cartoon still on tv? I mean not that brand new clip I saw somehere recently. A cartoon reboot or something that looked good. But are there kids today who watch gi joe? If not aren't they making this for kids of the 80's who are now much older? Us? If so shouldn't it not be a this stupid? I mean it looks terrrrible. What a waste of great source material. Yes its a cartoon but so much to build on and update and make better. Second question, didn't they start this after dark knight? Meaning, while this is going to be incredibly lame, are we due for 5 years of super serious but poorly made comic book movies? Similar to how copies of LOTR are still coming out? Fantasy movies about dragons and ass that suck? Ugh.
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I don't know how to trust anything anyone says. Any of it could be bullshit or it could be lying damage control.Fortunately, I don't care.
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but Transformers more then Joe. So yeaaah o well. Actually I have a renewed appreciation for GI joe because I just read a bunch of them. It's similar to another book that came out in the 80s called 'Nam except more colorful and less depressing.
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bad as the clips make it look (which we simply cant know for sure until we have actually seen the whole movie with the clips in context), then as far as im concerned Hasbro should take a large amount of the blame. Afterall they could have taken the time to make sure the script was good, they could have insisted on a far better director (what? Were they unaware of Sommer's track record?), and they could have vetoed (im assuming anyway..) stupid ideas like the black costumes or the accelarator suits which surely they knew had nothing to do with their own fucking property. S, yeah Hasbro..you may have just helped fuck up your own property. Be afraid... be very afraid....
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Jun 11, 2009 11:10:42 PM CDT
i wonder what the tipping point was for the testers...
by jackknifed_juggernaut
Storm Shadow's white gator boots? a twenty-something Duke? Marlon Wayans, perhaps? whatever it was, *surely* it wasn't the suits borrowed from the Power Rangers Sega Genesis videogame, right?
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...doesn't that signify that it might suck? Aren't the best stuff usually in May-July?
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...But it would be a very hard sell abroad.
After all, I doubt many Americans would be interested in seeing an SAS movie, or any foreign army.
Many British people are annoyed at the lack of movies depicting British soldiers (there's some annoyance at the way Britain's role in WW2 seems to be getting erased from history). I don't blame Hollywood for this, I do blame Britain's PC lefty film-makers and dramatists.
Alot of GI Joe is cheesy, Cobra is just plain silly; no "terrorist" organisation would be that obvious, or that simple.
You'd have to really re-work and re-think it to make it work in a real world setting, but that could be done without ruining the original concept. -
Because If this movie was any good I mean really good It would give a indication of how well a Captain America Movie will do internationally which is my biggest concern. But I do believe a Good Captain America movie will do well in the Post-Bush era.
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it's like, "hey, we have to push Flint and Lady Jaye, so fuck Duke and Scarlett. Snake Eyes? So what if he's the only reason people read the comic? He don't talk, we don't show him. Fuck his mute ass. Gung Ho and Roadblock? Old news. Gotta sell some merchandise. Replace them with Bazooka and Alpine." Yes, I know, it's ironic coming from a Star Wars fan.
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idea for a movie EVER!
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is NOT going to come out and say, "Yep, all true. The movie sucks. Don't waste your money folks." This is just along the same lines as anybody involved in a movie. Whenever they're interviewed, regardless of what happened on set and their own true feelings, they will always say so-and-so is "fantastic", the movie is "awesome", "one of the best films they've worked on/one of their favourite directors to work for" etc. They're just covering their own arse and their career.
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guy looks like he really tried.
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because i like when shitty movie makers get into trainwrecks.
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They had to have close to 100 episodes and in all that time there where only 3 casualties none fatal and 2 where to the same person. My second problem is every season there was a new higher ranking officer 1st Duke then Flint then Hawk like where the hell did the people come from and how come duke never got a promotion.
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just buy the cartoon on DVD, sit at home, and masturbate with melted butter.
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That's when you know your fucked and this movie will be awful on an epic scale. That being said, Im going to see it!!!!!
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At all even a little?
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this probably will too, cuz you idiots will go watch it anyway.
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... was that they went pure fantasy. G.I. JOE -devolved- into fantasy over and over again in its history - always at the lowest points in its existence - from the Atomic Soldiers of the 60s-70s with bionic parts to the CobraLa(LALALALALA!) nonsense of the late 80s. The new movie looks to follow in that tradition, taking the -very real- technology of personal enhancement suits to new lows by making them into Bionic Attack Fast-Runner Minimechs. No. No no no no no. G.I. JOE, played the right way to au audience, should open with an attack on a LEGITIMATE TERRORIST COMPOUND, thouh a fictional one - sort of like DC Comics' nation of "Quarac." Then, Cobra shows up and all hell breaks loose as world leaders beg the Democratic President (who zero-funded Joe, of course) to bring the team back, and the team gets money through some old-fashioned Senate hammer-purchases, replies "Thank you!" and proceeds to kick Cobra tail. There's your movie, and a monster hit. People are sick to death of REDACTED/LIONS FOR LAMBS/STOP LOSS nonsense.
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... I compared STOP LOSS to COBRALA! And I'm doing it again right here. Cobralalalalalala!
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why the fuck would I believe the director that the movie is going to be good? an uncredited source is more believeable because they posted something. And they didnt sign it so they would get fired. The execs can always say "oh, well, we thought itd be a hit, oops!"
besides I saw the trailer, and it looked like shit. Theres no way it will be entertaining. Hasbro should have released the new GI JOE cartoon as a full length. Either old school clean, or new school bloody and action packed, anime style. I guarantee that would have gotten some butts in the theater. -
Nobody Fucks with Nemisis Enforcer.
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As a lifelong GI Joe fan, I don't mind changing the team to reflect an international make-up. Not only Americans fight terrorism. And esepcially an international terrorist organization.
Also, Hasbro has a product to sell. Domestic boxoffice isn't enough to carry a film this size. They need international boxoffice as well. Hence changes. No big deal.
I think 2 things are bothering people about this film. Super-suits and a lack of recognizable costumes. They should start cutting ads without the cyber suits, and focus on the characters. Tell us their names and show off what they can do.
GI Joe comics in the 80s were amazing. The cartoon always sucked. Even Resolute wasn't very good, and was written by a guy with no connection to the source material. Sound familiar?
GI Joe has the potential to be a defining action film. Something with one foot in reality and willing to have a litte fun with the more outrageous Cobra elements.
This film could still be okay. But Sommers and Boneventura are not 2 people to have faith in. -
Jun 12, 2009 12:11:19 AM CDT
from a purely financial viewpoint, this is a bigger disaster
by bmacsmith
forgetting quality for a sec (as studios often do), nothing about this looks like a smart financial move. Hasbro is fucked because all the toys look alike except the bad guys and Snakeeyes.this is a nostalgia pic, that for some reason is targetted to children with no idea who GI Joe is. granted, kids are idiots who will like anything, but still. Kids like Tranformers becasue its giant robots, GI Joe is just army dudes. a lot of nongeeks grew up with GI Joes too, and nothing I've seen even remotely resembles the toys or cartoons. Who is this for? even common moviegoing men will be insulted by completely ignoring the source.
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to a degree. In Iraq and especially Afghanistan American special forces (Special Forces, Navy SEALS, Marine Force RECON, Delta Force, DEVGRU and CIA's SADS) routinely team up with Canada's JTF2, Australia's SAS and Britain's SAS and SRR. I see know problem having foreign outfits teaming up and operating with GI JOE. And since this is a make believe, you could even have them be part of a exchange/liaison officer to make sure that GI JOE looks out for more than just America's interest.
However, I cannot see GI JOE having any foreign members outside of the Anglo countries (Canada, Britain and Australia) because of communication problems and radical difference in military organizations. -
Jun 12, 2009 12:17:21 AM CDT
Special Forces Team from Predator + A James Bond storyline
by joker gordon levitt
Directed by John McTiernan (Die Hard 1&2). 60mil opening weekend at least.
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Jun 12, 2009 12:21:42 AM CDT
Special Forces Team from MEGA FORCE + an Agent Cody Banks storyl
by continentalop
Directed by Summers (Van Helsing!!) is what we got. 30 million opening weekend at most.
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GI JOE shouldn't have robot suits. ever. GI JOE without Cobra Commander or Destro is like Batman without Alfred or Joker. I don't know how these screenwriters fuck up an already established property. copy-paste and you're done! IF ITS NOT BROKE, DONT ADD ROBOT SUITS TO IT!
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what else did anyone expect? It's like these dumb fucks never bothered watching Van Helsing. Christ, that movie was shitastic and they thought he could pull off GI Joe?? Shit can this POS and start over Paramount. This movie will do nothing but humiliate you and everyone involved.
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G.I. Joe characters don't need accelerator suits because aside from this concept being an Iron Man rip-off, the original characters don't don anything special to accentuate their skills. I'd rather see them beating other guys up and bloodied but have the uncanny ability to survive anything pitted against them like Indiana Jones than to have them use special suits. My concern here is that the hi-tech suits could end up being the stars of the show instead of the characters themselves.
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Barry Bostwick in a skin tight viynl jumpsuit. Feathered hair complete with bandana.
Devin from Knight Rider.
And a post-Star Trek TMP Persis Kambata without the glowing crystal stuck in her thorax.
That movie was all kinds of epic. -
How dare you to call people (_o_).BTW, what is a (_o_)?
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Calling for an "adult" movie about TOYS. Get the fuck out of here! All past bitching about soft takes now seems justified. It's G.I. JOE, it doesn't matter what adults think about it, as long as it is appropriate for children, ITS FOR KIDS!!!
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She had a full head of hair though. She had that kind of range as an actress.
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Jun 12, 2009 12:45:52 AM CDT
Tangerines; We shouldn't be teaching kids how to wear robot suit
by joker gordon levitt
Tangerines; We shouldn't be teaching kids how to wear robot suitsOr should we...
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Well, it's not an 'adult' movie, per se. But it's not a complete pooch screw like GI:JOE:ROTC. Look at how big TF1 hit. GI:Joe could have been a stellar property. Maybe not Boardwalk, but better than Mediterranean Ave.
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but I'd rather take hate with a huge payday, than hate with bad press.
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.shit.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmahUDrswxY
Shows us what might have been in better hands... -
...was the latest Rambo movie. Take that movie, make the mercenaries Americans, add in a couple of ninjas and the two women, and you've got what a GI Joe movie needs to be. It needs to be bad-ass soldiers getting shit done. No super duper power suits needed.
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Stephen Sommers, a Wayans brother, and GI Joe works for the UN? Was there ever any doubt? I guess it's not as bad as some of the development hell versions that were talked about (like a buddy movie with GI Joe... the old soldier action figure from the 60s, and his British counterpart, Action Man). Don't expect a "real" GI Joe reboot movie when this bombs, either. That's like wishing for a relaunch of "Howard the Duck." Hasbro would like it, but I doubt any studio would take the risk of losing such serious bank. This one-and-done franchise was dead before the first frame was shot. Enjoy your animated series instead, like GI Joe: Resolute parts 1-11 on Youtube.
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I only knew of the TV show and action figures, and was more of a Transformers kid in the 80s. What were the peak years/issues of the Hama era comics to dig up?
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And this is coming from a diehard fan of the G1 franchise in the 80s who used to dream of growing up to be a filmmaker and make a live action TF movie. Yeah, some of the character models stank (ex: lips on Optimus Prime), there were some of the usual Michael Bay plotholes, I wish they'd shown Prime caring more about his fellow Autobots, and no, it wasn't Shakespeare, but overall I left happy and went back to see it a second time. I even own the DVD now and have a good time whenever I put it on.
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Hell, I just said G.I. Joe will be worse than Megaforce. Take that any way you want.
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If I see a flying motorcyle in the G.I. Joe movie, I'm gonna shit myself laughing.
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is this TB still going on?
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recently with the G.I. Joe: ARAH 25th Anniversary line, and Transformers Classics line (from the Japanese Henkei line). Something to do with faithfulness to the original designs, yet enhanced (though the TF Classics are updated to reflect current designs).
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Does anyone mind if I start talking about random shit that happened to me today?
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movie couldn't have been set in a period, parallel world early '80s, with the appropriate subtle sci-fi elements (ignoring the more ludicrous, later stuff imposed by Hasbro upon Hama). Then the Joes could be Vietnam vets.
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I had really bad visibility on the road and I almost ran this guy riding a bike over with my car. And it didn't occur to me until after I got to work that "wow, what idiot would be riding their bike in the rain?"
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in walks one of my co-workers, drenched and carrying his bike! What a day!
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...I just called it a "Captain Kirk"!!!
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some asshole almost ran me over with his car, while IL was riding my bikle in the rain!! WTF!!!
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Not saying he's a great director, but you KNOW what you're getting from him. It's like asking for a puppy, then putting the puppy outside when it barks.
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…Father forgive them for they know not what they do…DANNYGLOVER if were going completely batshit insane, you might as well take it to unthinkable levels…
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I'd watch Band of Brothers again. Captain America started out as US WW2 propaganda. My hopes are waaayyyy higher for a Cap film since the first one could be a period piece then the Avengers movie could be when they find him in an ice cap.
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Of movies I've seen based on a toy.. So far I enjoy TF..
Makes me think of movies I've seen based on video games.... the only one I've ever enjoyed was Hitman. Probably because it had frontal female nudity in a scene. -
I was like, "Remember the bald chick in TMP? She's in it!" Pity me.
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I loved that flick as a kid....Then I saw some scenes from it on the net a little while ago. Wow did that bike scene not age well. And what was with the headband that Barry Boswick was wearing. Kinda killed the tough guy image for me.The 80's and the preoccupation with skinnies
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God, when that movie came out I so badly wanted to see it. I think it came out the same year as GI Joe #1, so it was a movie version of my new favorite comic. I thought it looked like it would be the coolest thing ever.
God, I have never been so wrong. It replaced Infra Man as the worst thing we ever forced our dad to take us to. -
So I'd be inclined to believe anonymous.
After all, anonymous can sometimes be brutally honest.
e.g. Here : http://tinyurl.com/6xqpud -
Should have been an animated film by all means.
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"Hasbro is panicked that the G.I. JOE brand has been ruined." Question is, why did they trust their precious brand to those people in the first place? They should've known what they're getting into.
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Well, who does? I hear Americans bitching about Tintin, and how no one cares - well get this; PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE US PROBABLY DON'T CARE ABOUT NASTY BLOOD-THIRSTY MILITARY US TOYS RIGHT NOW!
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Seriously. No disrespect for Sommers, but isn't he one of those directors who's better off making low-budget Corman-type movies, like DEEP RISING? When he was let loose on THE MUMMY and VAN HELSING he totally TRASHED those mythologies, removing anything scary, interesting, romantic, and making stuff that is only good enough for the kind of dumb kids who thought that Richard Chamberlain's KING SOLOMONS MINES was an acceptable stand-in for INDIANA JONES. (I.e aged 8 and under.)
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After all the ranting, I cannot believe that people are still defending TRANSFORMERS (and other shit) with the reasoning that it's NOT SHAKESPEARE. What are your points, guys? That you only imbibe two kinds of culture: the highest possible (Shakespeare, Bergman, Proust) plus the lowest possible (Dan Brown, Michael Bay) and that you don't care to find out about anything in the middle? Where does something like JAWS rate for you guys? It's not Shakespeare, but it's just a tad better than Bayformers, no?
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And I mean that literally.Test audiences are a curse, my friends. Always were.
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who is more likely to have a vested interest? OF COURSE the producer is not going to go ON THE RECORD as saying that the film is utterly shit and their is chaos and panic behind the scenes. What the fuck were you expecting him to say? Of course the anonymous MBer might just be talking shit - but just because the producer goes ON THE RECORD to deny it doesn't mean the claims are not true.
Plus - this is Stephen Summers making a film based on a toy line. Of course it's going to be shit. For evidence: view the trailer. -
I really hope they test Avatar soon, so that the audience can go 'hey - wait a second. What the fuck is this?' Not that I want the film to fail, but it seems the only people who give a shit are geeks... who make up a tiny section of the audience needed to break even.
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I know it's gonna suck because I have eyeballs.
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as those remixed PSA's. WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?
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Jun 12, 2009 7:03:40 AM CDT
HOW CAN THEY FIRE SOMMERS IF THE MOVIE'S ALREADY IN THE CAN?
by bringingsexyback
Assuming "in the can" means "it's finished." I'm not in the film biz in case you can't tell.
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Oh boy.
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sneaking suspicion that it will be better than this movie....hope i will be proved wrong, but going by what we ve seen so far....
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I knew this from when I saw the Superbowl ad.
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Whatever one thinks of Sommers, this is a fairly foul story - and I mean that whether it's true (what a horrible way to treat a film-maker) or false (what a vile rumour to circulate) or a bit of both (ugh!).
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The other half is marketing to children of the 80s. Don't worry about the story or acting or anything else; just hit those marketing touchstones and you have a guarenteed strong opening weekend at least. Remember: mass audiences in the US aren't really interested in seeing films, they're interested in being marketed too, they're interested in consuming, and re-consuming, consumer products of their youth as a bulwark against an increasingly terrifying world around them. In short: de-evolution is very real. And know you know. And knowing is half the battle.
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What I mean is, what is the other option? A great, intense action movie? Comeo on. The best-case scenario for a Sommers-directed G.I. Joe film is that it will be corny, illogical, involve cliche` heroes-walking-in-a-row and cool-guys-don't-look-at-explosion shots. Or to put it another way, how could they go wrong appealing to eleven year old boys, with missiles and lasers and ninjas?
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Most of these reporters with their so-called "inside scoops" about a movie are like ACIN "First" posters.
They have nothing to say, but spend their lives hoping for the chance to beat everyone else.
The "First" reporters can't afford to take the time to check facts about the rumors they hear, lest they lose the "scoop" element and someone else beats them to the punch. -
... for soon, that hack Sommers will suffer the fate he so richly deserves, a downward spiral ending in his finally being spewed out of the bottom of the gay porn industry.
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it's own thing or in comparison to the old animated series?
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and then some. I predict.. HIT!
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is the villain. OF COURSE it sucks.
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Because if the movie tested poorly, they would need to make some re-edits. They can fire Sommers and keep him out of the editing room and let someone else supervise the changes. Makes sense since the guy in charge is the one who fucked it all up in the first place. I wouldn't want him back in the editing room either.
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Jun 12, 2009 10:14:10 AM CDT
too bad directors and producers can't tell a flick sucks until..
by alienindisguise
it come time to edit the damn thing. If the studio really wanted to test market properties like this thoroughly, they would release concept art or costume pics and get feedback off the nets and work from there. Maybe it would work or it wouldn't but I would at least like to see someone try to do that.
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or around there anyway....this could have been an incredible trilogy...the snake eyes/storm shadow origin story, with nam (or desert storm whatever) flash backs...this looked awful from the first pictures. is it true someone actually says "and knowing is half the battle"??? fuck no...fuck the cartoon...GI JOE is MARVEL! the greatest comic series ever. (well up till 75 or so)...where are the cool costumes?? they made a generic piece of shit. stephen sommers...the mummy...sigh. this material had so much depth...not like transformers which is inherentl eye candy...this sucks. i looked forward to a great joe film. gimme 50 million and i'll make it for you. hire larry hama to write it, mctiernen to direct.
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if you do not understand this...you dont know joe
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I'm still seeing the movie. I want this movie to make money so a sequel is greenlighted and then they can finally do it right. Hooded Cobra Commander, Destro with mask, Hiss tanks, terrordome, dreadknocks, etc.
Look, if you're a fan of Gi Joe just see the damn thing so it's makes money and we hopefully get a superior sequel.
Sommers has already said the accelerator suits will not be in a sequel.
I really just want a good gi joe movie and if i have to tolerate a bad one first so be it.
If this movie tanks we will never see another live action joe movie again. -
Nobody really loved GI Joe the way they did Transformers, Voltron, and He-Man. The toys were cool, but nobody gave a crap about the show. Bad IP to revive.
You can't have 'em all Hasbro, sorry. -
Serpentor = Franchise Jumping the Shark.
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Uhhhh, what the hell?Body massage.
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How much is Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Paramount Studios paying you for coming up with such a ridiculous concept? We must go out and support a crappy so they will have a sequel where they will do it right. Why not do it right the first time?
If we did that and if this thing somehow made money, what makes you think they won't look at it as validating the direction they took and continue making the next one just as crappy? Just look at the FF. -
And everyone knows it.
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Well, i'm hoping they'll change directors. And remember this is "The Rise of Cobra", I want to see a full fledged Cobra Organization.
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or the cartoon at least? whats up LaserPants? havent seen you in a while.
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GI JOE in film is done this generation unfortunately
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Instead of studio heads? If the internet folks say it's a great movie, it gets greenlighted. Hell, it worked for Snakes on a Plane, right?
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You're not twelve anymore. I was too old for G.I. Joe, but I understood little kids liking it. Little kids. It was aimed at youngish kids, primarily, even the Marvel comics. Doubt you're gonna find many of the grown-up kids who still give a damn, outside geek boards like this.
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I don't care. This movie looks as interesting as watching grass grow. The studio is probably looking to blame someone for when the movie flops.
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Even if it looked good, I wouldn't care, because it's G.I. Joe, for heaven's sake. It's just another toy movie. Power suits - dumb or not, and I do think they are dumb - is like putting flames on Optimus Prime. It doesn't make much if any difference to the story and for 90 percent of the potential audience it means nothing. But that other 10 percent will kick and scream forever.
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Incorrect. For me the only thing that came before Gi Joe was Star Wars.
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I got back on today and was catching up on the TB and I came across this from you:
"They laugh at GI Joe fans for wanting a "Saving Private Ryan-esque movie" (personally, I think it is overrated). I ask: why not?
Who are the biggest fans of GI JOE? Guys in there 20s, 30s & even 40s. GI JOE: RAH isn't like Batman or Superman or SPider-Man with a new generation to replace the old, it has a definitive shelf life and the guys who grew up on it are now older.
So what did we want to see when you were kids when we read the comics or watched the cartoon? We wanted to see the shit they couldn't show. And now that we are adults we want it even more. We want to see people get shot and killed, see how tough the Joes really are, and have Cobra do realistic terrorist plots, not rust bombs. We want what they did to Batman in TDK - make it something we can enjoy as adults and believe in. What they did to the Joker - take him from albino psychotic clown with Joker venom to psycho anarchist with makeup and a Glasgow smile - we want to see them do to Cobra Commander - go from the tool that yelled "Cobra" to a modern day Hitler figure/Osama contemporary.
At least I know I do."
Now... I know I was giving you guys crap earlier for arguing the whole comic book/toy/chicken/egg thing earlier. It just seemed like such a silly argument to me. Still sorta does. HOWEVER...
THIS post of yours... this is something I can get behind of! I would fucking love to see something like this on screen. Will we though? Sadly, no. The average American movie-goer would shit themselves if something like this hit the screens. It would be taking something near and dear to them and making it mortal. Making it grimy and dirty like real life. It was a great approach to Batman, but to something where war is the main issue, that's too real for a lot of people.
Basically, what I'm saying is that I'd love to see this, but it won't happen. Summer blockbusters are only there to put asses in seats and to sell toys. You couldn't sell a toy from the ultra realistic, awesome version of G.I. Joe.
It's the same reason I won't ever see a Preacher movie on film. No one has the balls.
and no one would buy an Arseface doll. -
...do you expect the guy to say officially, "yeah, the movie did horribly, we don't know what to do!". And honestly, what kind of discernment to do you expect from a guy who hires Stephen Sommers?
As I said in a previous post: what do these people expect? If you hire mediocre talent to direct, you get a mediocre movie (if you're lucky). And yet, these studio exec idiots & producers choose directors who range from "barely competent" to "hack". They hire Tim Story to do Fantastic Four (twice!). Result: both movies suck and the franchise is dead. And so on: Brett Ratner, McG, Stephen Sommers, Len Wiseman, etc. The list is long and absurd.
Haven't these people made the connection yet?
They're business men first and foremost, and true talent rakes in the big bucks. You hire Chris Nolan, Peter Jackson, Cuaron, Greengrass, Raimi, etc. These are the guys with actual vision and storytelling skills. Then you'll get your golden franchise, your money, and everyone will be happy. Just stop hiring these lame directors that everyone knows are no good at all. Stop. If you don't have the money to pay for them, then nurture promising young talent instead of going back to the well of bad results. What's wrong with you?? -
What else is it up against in August? Rob Zombie's Halloween 2?
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Jun 12, 2009 1:38:43 PM CDT
In the 1980s, corporate suits invented the term franchise
by jackrabbitslim
Now slavering fans act like THE FRANCHISE is some sacred golden calf to be kept away from the greedy corporate clutches. Does it not occur to you this slavish devotion to THE FRANCHISE is part of what is killing the original screenplay. No more Fantastic Four, actors embarrassed to be running around in spandex but willing to take the green, movies? Boo fucking hoo.
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Bring on Micro Machines the movie, directed by the amazing team up of boll and schumacher.
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Movie was made before the toys.
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For the best in film reviews, download this podcast
http://tinyurl.com/l44edq -
Mine was "Conan The Destroyer"....man that film sucked. "Megaforce" comes in 2nd. Star Trek III: The Search For Spock comes in 3rd. This should be a main topic like the summer movie thing that's going around.
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Which explains why Star Wars hasn't quite been the same since the Ewoks on (toys made before the movies, or with merchandising considerations).
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That's all I'm going to GI Joe expecting. A visually cool movie, making no more & probably less sense than Transformers. At least TF has the excuse that while it's set in "modern" times on "our" world, it's dealing w/ aliens & alien tech. Joe doesn't have that luxury (Gods, at least I hope they don't). But Sommers makes cool-looking movies, just as Bay makes action-intensive EXPLODING movies.I'm used to turning my brain off or into low gear for summer "blockbusters".
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it’s a movie based on a cartoon designed to sell toys. ergo it has to be bad. the “dream movie” in your head won’t happen, because you are imagining a good movie. these are 20 guys with no family or friends or real names shooting at but never killing 5 guys and a girl with no family, no lives, no friends or names.
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at the trailer when it aired before star trek. and they weren't laughing at the jokes b/c i don't think there were any. this film will probably bomb and likely will deserve to bomb. i have no interest
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Jun 12, 2009 2:23:42 PM CDT
I love how AICN "decides not to post things"
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
keep licking those balls boys.
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What's up, man. I've been busy! I usually only check in a few times a week.
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God, I wish someone would fire him-from a cannon. Into the fucking sun. And I actually LIKED The Mummy.
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as opposed to a GI Joe flick... The only accurate GI Joe visual of the whole trailer is the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow fight and Baroness (who doesnt even have her accent)... Like Transformers, I will DEFINITELY pass on this mindless summer crapfest...
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"I'm a dead fucking scumbag"
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Five Joes died, some of them popular characters: Doc, Heavy Metal, Breaker, Crazy Legs and Quck Kick. If a comic can treat it seriously, why can't a movie?
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to this one at all
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Directed by Christopher Nolan. Coming Summer 2020.
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Cause it's beneath them. Don't even get me started. Seriously.
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he's a transformers 2 clip. it blows.
http://tinyurl.com/nvf6ta -
Maybe if the movies continue they will grow into more than a silly kid's action story. Notice it took 109 issues to kill a bunch of Joes, and that left a whole passel of Joes left. Give them three or four movies, introduce a bunch of backup characters, and they'll be happy to kill them in the name of melodrama.
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kill them in the name of melodrama, like Larry Hama did. It's all crap, man, even if it's entertaining crap. We do better to admit that these things from our childhoods are largely crap. We'll be less disappointed with them when they are "fucked up" by the man.
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An episode of Robot Chicken. They kept fucking with Frostbite and it was hilarious.
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This is why taking on updating a property like this is so dangerous - you only have to go one step too far to the left or right of the original and the entire thing starts to crumble. All I can say is that when I and every-other 30-something saw the trailer, we all, almost in unison, said "what does that have to do with GI Joe?" I wish I could have made the final connection in my head and said "It looks like Megaforce."
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We have American combat troops in two active warzones who have been deployed in some cases for up to 3 tours.
You can just ask them what that's like, and they will actually tell you.
Instead of an homage to what current, modern warfare has evolved into-you get an immature pastiche that makes their sacrifices look like a kiddie show.
I gripe because when I think about a guy in Afghanistan watching this stuff...Uhh...
And I am and was opposed to the war in Iraq, as an American...
Just watch Rambo IV I suppose...
-MLB -
Hell, they're already making a Stretch Armstrong movie.
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Sadly, no one else is listening but us...I hope the death of these marketing scheme movies forces Hollywood to, er, uh, DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL!
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Dude, I'm under 30 (well, by a year) and I think a Rom:Spaceknight movie would kick fucking ass. If only so that we finally get Rick Jones up on the big screen. Best comic book sidekick ever, hands down.
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someone will type the words: 'TedKordLives for the win!' And my heart will grow just a little bigger.
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Just saw it today. If you didn't enjoy the fuck out of it, chances are you're already dead!
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so very dead.
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I wish your name was 'FUCK YOU GREEN LANTERN'. Seriously, fuck all of those space pigs. Can't make you like a movie, not even gonna try.
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Bonaventura mentions the movie testing well three times in about 60 words. That means the movie's shit, right? Except we all knew that already, didn't we?
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thing and as compared to the old cartoon (which is actually really campy and somewhat crap when you watch it today). But Requim, like everything else gijoe, is just ok compared to Larry Hama's Marvel comics imho....
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That is what I think every time I see the power suits in the trailer.
I just hope it is better than my expectations, which aren't high. -
I liked both of Sommers' Mummy movies, so I don't give a rats ass when people bitch about Sommers being the director. He makes fun, brain-light movies, and GI Joe was a fun, brain-light cartoon. I don't want an "adult" Saving Private Ryan GI Joe, because when I was a kid I wouldn't have been allowed to watch it. GI Joe is a toy line, and when you start trying to deny that you are robbing kids of the enjoyment you had when you were young.
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Considering that's the script they filmed with, it's not surprising there's been problems.
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And if you recall with that "Mummy 3" trainwreck, some of you were probably realizing without his creative touch, it was screwed. But why hate on a guy who's enthusiastic about his projects? Is it because he hangs out with Victoria's Secret models? Or has a smoking hot wife? Or he's a bit smarter than most people that make films? Really, go to a library, watch some classic films, and stop your bitching. Valerious out.
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Jun 13, 2009 7:51:57 AM CDT
I saw the trailer. They didn't go the comic route
by grammaton cleric binks
so screw 'em. Super suits, and Captain America super serum? I'll catch the DVD maybe.
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Someone had to reuse all those transformer CGI models right?
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