Beaks here...

This isn't news. This is score-settling.

Late last night, I received a number of emails alerting me to an epic tear-down of Stephen Sommers's G.I. JOE, which had been posted to producer Don Murphy's message board. I read the missive, had a good laugh, and decided not to post anything about it because wading into that story is a no-win situation. This isn't just about a troubled Hollywood tentpole.

I still feel the same way, but since the story has spread all over the place, here are the highlights from the since-removed post:

1) G.I. JOE racked up lower test screening numbers than any film in recent Paramount history (this would include SERVING SARA and MARCI X).

2) Stephen Sommers has been fired.

3) Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has been told to stay the fuck away from the editing room.

4) Hasbro is panicked that the G.I. JOE brand has been ruined.

5) Lorenzo is a poopy-head.

This is where I'll hand you over to my pal George "El Guapo" Roush at Latino Review, who got di Bonaventura to go on the record and refute most of the claims made in the anonymous post. Here's an excerpt from his comments:

Well listen, we tested very well and I don’t compare [it to the test screening numbers for TRANSFORMERS] because they are different movies, but you know I think its really destructive for a director…It hurts a guy's career when people go around talking about that he was fired or he didn’t do a good job and truth is he did a really good job. People are going to enjoy the movie and the test audiences enjoyed the movie.

He did a very good job the movie tested well and it couldn’t be more false that the studio in anyway did anything negatively to Steve.

It's up to you whether you want to believe a crank who won't sign their grievance or a guy who's gone on the record to deny up-and-down that anything is wrong with G.I. JOE.

Of course, Bradley Cooper recently denied that he was in talks to play Face in THE A-TEAM, when, as Variety reported this week, he was in talks to play Face. You might also recall Tom Rothman's claim that the theatrical cut of WOLVERINE would run significantly longer than the leaked workprint.

I'm not saying you shouldn't trust di Bonaventura. Though I think there's some truth buried in that post from Don Murphy's message board (if only because I've been hearing different variations on that story for the last month or so), I've been told by two different, trustworthy, completely unbiased sources that Sommers is currently working on G.I. JOE. As for the bad buzz, that's just someone else's negative opinion for now - though you're free to draw your own conclusions from the footage that's already out there.

Do with all of this what you will.