Cool News
Mr. Longbaugh Hints At The Glorious Madness That Is Rob Cohen's MEDIEVAL!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Merrick here...
Earlier we learned Rob Cohen was jumping off of xXx: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE to work on a project called MEDIEVAL (details HERE).
An AICN associate called Mr. Longbaugh was kind enough to give us a sense of what Cohen's adoptive project has in store for us (although I'm sure changes will be made before filming commences, and during actual production).
Obviously, BEWARE SPOILERS!!!
Here's Mr. Longbaugh:
The film opens with a diverse group of warriors all imprisoned together, discussing how they've all ended up in this unfortunate circumstance. This eclectic group consisting of: a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior, a viking, and a few others.
All of them have been setup and brought together for one reason: a wealthy man has tasked them with stealing a crown from an impenetrable vault of treasure. The crown is his, but they can keep whatever treasure that can carry out. The twist is that they only have till daylight to do so because they've all been injected with a poison that'll kill them upon direct contact with the sun.
With Ocean's 11 like precision they break into the vault in an incredible sequence of agility and stunts utilizing their own individual skill-sets, involving magnetic hallways and pressure sensitive floors they enter the vault...
At various points they're attacked by gangs of birdmen, gypsy women, sumo wrestlers, zulu warriors, etc.
The way the message above is edited suggests the film is confined to the vaults, etc. It's actually considerably more sprawling, with lots of (medieval) city action.
Huge thanks to Mr. Longbaugh for taking the time to share this with us...
All of them have been setup and brought together for one reason: a wealthy man has tasked them with stealing a crown from an impenetrable vault of treasure. The crown is his, but they can keep whatever treasure that can carry out. The twist is that they only have till daylight to do so because they've all been injected with a poison that'll kill them upon direct contact with the sun.
With Ocean's 11 like precision they break into the vault in an incredible sequence of agility and stunts utilizing their own individual skill-sets, involving magnetic hallways and pressure sensitive floors they enter the vault...
At various points they're attacked by gangs of birdmen, gypsy women, sumo wrestlers, zulu warriors, etc.
-
+ Expand All
-
Damnit. I swear to god I was going to make something similar. Fuck you Cohen!
-
Because mine is different enough to not be called a clone. Just do it well so you don't fuck up my chances.
-
Jun 10, 2009 11:59:19 PM CDT
So they actually had vampire poison back then? Interesting...
by mike_d
Lame.
-
well, it does.
-
Jun 11, 2009 12:00:24 AM CDT
He's been watching too much The Deadliest Warrior on SpikeTV
by super rabbi
-
as the trailer for "Gamer." http://tinyurl.com/orkwwp
-
How is this guy finding work? does he dress in drag and offer blowjobs like the dude that did Die Another Day?
-
They were called Norse
-
One movie with a montage of the training to become a ninja, "a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior, a viking, and a few others" would be kind of interesting. If he gets jamee fux to die in this movie like Stealth I'll see it.
-
looks stupid, but I hav emixed feelings since it has Gerard Butler and Dexter in it.
-
Go ahead with it.
-
Nothing else matters.
-
Jun 11, 2009 12:33:11 AM CDT
World of Warcraft meets Ocean's11 meets Crank meets Magnificient
by onezeroone
in other words, Hollywood version of Fantasy Mission Force.
-
cue shit cgi and cohen lameness
-
Whatever he sucks as a director.
-
Just wondering. If the wealthy man's treasure is so important to him, and he went through all the trouble to gather warriors from the four corners of the world, why give them all such a short warranty span? Are the treasure holders moving to a new location the next day? Why not use slower poison and give the guys a week to live instead? A day is no fun.
-
I hope they make it interesting.. like the poison effects each character differently as in physically, and psychologically. And maybe they turn on each other. Throw in poison, ego, medieval bigotry, different fighting styles and you get some interesting ideas flowing. Only if Christopher Walken plays the wealthy man, but he has to be mute the whole time.
-
..I've heard in a while. It'll probably make millions.
-
The Usual Suspects; but in a fantasy setting.
-
On the same line as The Expendables. But it might be so awesome, most movie goers might not watch it. Like the time they make a movie about a spaceman helping Vikings fight an alien dragon.
-
I certainly fucking hope so. FANTASY MISSION FORCE is awesome.
-
... this film does have the potential for some really cool battle sequences. This was obviously at least somewhat inspired by "Deadliest Warrior" on Spike, which is an awesome show
-
The one with the retarded skeleton knight, thats about all I remember about it and I owned that game.
-
How are these warriors from far flung regions able to talk to each other? Cohen strikes again!
-
Jun 11, 2009 1:35:21 AM CDT
"magnetic hallways and pressure sensitive floors they enter the
by codename
I guess the knight, samurai and the viking are pretty much useless when they encounter the magnetic hallways and pressure sensitive floors since they are in armor for one, and they each weigh a ton. Maybe their armor flies off their bodies Magneto-style and they have to fight their own armor haha.
-
Trust me. That guy will own the role. He already has the hair and beard.
-
They have to come back for the antidote.
-
Theres an Tag along interpreter. He/She captured/framed all of them for the king. This person speaks all of the languages and works as a buffer between them. Would be cool if it was a little person. Like Warwick Davis.
-
A Samurai, Viking, Zulu Warrior... and they'll all speak english!
-
Orinal talk from each character in native speakie. Subtitled only when it not ment to be understood by the others in the group. Little man tag along reinterps what is said between them and sometimes he reworks what the others say to each other to start fights and inject comedic moments. We see his reinterp in subs as well. This could be fun
-
That makes sense. But wealthy man sure has a lot of faith in the guys to pull it off in a day. He should give them a week to plan and scope out the place.
-
Now it's all about the execution. I have no faith in Mr. Cohen unfortunately.
-
that, at least last time I checked, you couldn't INJECT anyone with anything in the Dark Ages....god this is going to be stupid..and terribly , TERRIBLY historically inaccurate. Oh, and they had magnetic hallways in the middle ages too? Damn, I must've missed that one. Rob Cohen, you are a talentless hack.
-
Isnt this Soul Calibur?
Sounds lame. -
Now now, that's enough piss taking:-).
I'm actually happy by the way. Not only does this sound pretty insane, but the my idea that I mentioned on the other thread pisses all over this concept. -
So they'll have Filinos in this too? Jeezes.
-
im not very happy here with this news.
-
what a fucking retarded premise for a movie. I'm surprised Stephen Sommers isn't directing this while jerking off.
-
but it sounds really stupid, I have to say. I can imagine the pitching session: "It's like, uh, Ocean's 11 meets Conan the Barbarian with bits of vampire hype thrown in".
-
And as written it's a lot of fun. Let's see if Rob Cohen can make this as dull as his other movies.
-
Jun 11, 2009 3:56:07 AM CDT
I like the sound of it. They should just get a better director.
by derlanghaarige
-
Oh how I laughed.
-
Jun 11, 2009 4:59:02 AM CDT
SOUNDS AS DUMB AS VIKINGS FIGHTING ALIENS
by richard_gere_raped_my_gerbil
Wait a minute... that movie was awesome!I'm in!
-
As in, "I think I'm going to do a bit of viking today"? Are you sure? Because that sounds fucking stupid.
-
I don't know how I missed Crooooooow's comment. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen, espeiclaly when he calles everyone "dumbasses" for not thinking it's a verb. What a plank!
-
Either my new medication is strong or I'm getting dyslexia. My posts over the last few days have had some of the worst spelling I've ever seen.
I don't think Viking is a verb yet, but it's worrying. -
Same again with the spelling fixed:
I don't know how I missed Crooooooow's comment. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen, ESPECIALLY when he CALLED everyone "dumbasses" for not thinking it's a verb. What a plank!
Maybe me too:-). -
I can see the pitch session now....
-
With the injection and magnetic vault, does anyone else think there's likely time travel involved? Like the rich dude fetches the best warriors from their native land *and* time. (Of course with time travel, WTF is he dicking around with all this...).
-
...it actually _sounds_ pretty cool, eh?
-
Jun 11, 2009 6:22:51 AM CDT
Wow. It's like a 12-year-old Dungeon Master just watched "The Us
by judderman
and decided to make a campaign out of them.
-
and so goes the punchline
-
couldn't they just STAY underground during daytime hours?
Bring this sucker on. -
I commented on the fact that this Mr Longbough=Longbow. So they changed it to Longbaugh.
Petty. -
and a bad one. Normally, I'm not one to lay the hate, but really this sounds horrible.Also, I saw this thing on Spike TV that said a samurai would beat a Viking in a fight 51% of the time. Just thought it was interesting to see the two mentioned again within a week of seeing that.
-
Fuck you, Hollywood.
-
...good reference on the alias.
-
Would beat the shit out of a Viking 100% of the time. A Katana's so light & super sharp it can split a body in half with the slightest effort. The Viking would be sashimi before he'd had time to life his sword.
-
Fuck.
E.D.I.T B.U.T.T.O.N!
-
and the sun is a big ball of fire, if it kills people, then just light a match.
-
...it does suggest "direct" sunlight. Plus picking apart the scientific principles behind a film like this is likely to be a pretty fruitless exercise....
-
Sounds fucking awesome. Though if it's half as great as ELIMINATORS - which it sounds like a medieval version of - it will rule.
You can't watch this with ANY cynicism, guys. If you even THINK about taking a concept like this seriously, don't even bother going into the theater. This is for lovers of truly demented movies ONLY... -
Every movie that is announced you people bitch and moan about it being a remake or a reboot or a prequel or a sequel. You complain about originality and this sounds pretty original. He's not the best director but our selections are limited as to who the studios work with today. Unfortunately their are plenty of Indy directors out there who could do a better job but we get what we pay for and keep paying for. I'm giving it a chance until I see the rotten tomatoes meter.
Also VIKING is a noun or and adjective. not a verb. Unless the guy was being funny because of the -ing at the end. Then he's dumber than i thought. -
Come on! Such BS! Sounds like a knock off to me!
-
What doesn't make sense is, they have to break into this fortress before dawn. But you know they're going to have to travel far and there's going to be all these battles, so they'd never make it in time. If Stallone was making this movie, it might be good. It does have a very B-movie, cheesiness to it. I just think that Rob Cohen is a bad director and the effects to his movies are always lame. I mean look how bad the CG was in Mummy 3. Him and Paul W.S. Anderson try to make these big movies, but they are as shallow as a puddle. I mean we're not asking for a P.T. Anderson movie, but just because it's a popcorn movie doesn't mean it has to be bad.
-
what I want Hollywood to be doing. I just vikinged in my pants.
-
the language barrier issue and the way they sidestep it will keep this from being a realistic depiction of what happens when a Viking (NOUN, IDIOT), a Zulu, A Predator, a Thief, A Knight, a Sumo Wrassler, a Ticklemonster and a Wombat join forces.
-
"The act of a phallus becoming rapidly erect and tearing through any protective textile, typically brought upon a virginal film geek when anticipating a cinematic depiction of mythic masculinity he will never, himself, achieve."
-
"After being bitten by a radioactive spider and assuming super powers, Peter Parker would never again viking a new pair of dungarees while reading Icelandic sagas, much to the relief of Aunt May's arthritic sewing hand."
-
This sounds like a load of all kinds of crap. Each scene by itself will probably be okay but the whole movie together, a popourri of winners about to die in a day to steal a crown... its so contrived.
Coming up with a random wacky fresh idea is good... this doesn't seem fresh... seems like someone shot the hamburgler in the head and left him locked up in a compost bin for a few years and then opened the top to see what was left. -
Dungeons & Dragons? Anyone heard anything about this?
-
Actually folks, viking is a verb. The original use of the verb was "to go a viking". It meant to go raiding as they did. Danes, Norse, and Swedes never referred or thought of themselves as Vikings. That was a later convention like ridiculous horns on helmets.
-
Putting all these warriors of different cultures together is contrived let alone the poison. The historical inaccuracies are huge. Zulus as we know them didn't exist at the same time as knights or vikings and neither did samurai as we know them.
-
but that's the archaic definition. Today's descriptivist tendency in lexicographic circles has concluded that the modern definition of "viking" is the penis thing.
-
Dragonheart, Dragon, The Mummy 3, XXX, Daylight, they all have two things in common: 1) They suck balls and 2) Rob Cohen "directed" all of them. This hack is a retarded version of Stephen Sommers. With him involved, why bother? He has no idea how to stage an action scene, he knows nothing about character or story. He's in the same class of a-hole filmmakers like Ratner and Paul W.S. Anderson. I wish this project would find another director or just go away.
-
I'm not gonna put my War historian cap on, as I always end up having complicated discussions that I can't be bothered to have:-).
It's both a Noun & a verb. Or rather the name stems from a verb, in the same way a jogger is someone who goes jogging.
Really, Vikings are Vikingrs. Viking itself comes from a verb, but became a noun. They also liked to have sex with farm animals & sing "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. -
Boo-ya!
-
It's better than the first movie.But not much.
-
in getting these disparate characters together makes it unlikely that there will be the slightest attempt at any intelligence. But who cares when ninjas and vikings are beating the crap out of each other, right? Hell, I'd make this film just for the cash. Except I'm not sure I could live with myself afterward. Cohen has no such scruples.
-
Hitherto yon wealthy king is but making up a tale along the way - Kaiser Sez-Me.
-
This sounds like a live action version of that old D&D cartoon on Saturday mornings in the 80's.
-
The first was okay...but the third was actually very good. A fourth with Abrams attached could be pretty good!
-
Wondering.
-
You can't diss this hilarious concept - sounds like loads of fun. But, yes, Cohen is a problem - so proceed with the dissing. As you were, men.
-
Over at Scriptshadow: http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/2009/05/medieval-scriptshadow-challenge.html
-
Jun 11, 2009 3:34:49 PM CDT
a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior and a viking walk i
by robertbaron
-
a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior, and a viking walk into a bar...
-
is actually both a verb and a noun. As in "who will go viking with me this night?" Meaning to raid from a ship, I believe.
-
Sounds terrible, but it could be B movie fun if done right...probably not though.
-
Sounds stupid enough to get made. Completely historically inaccurate why not have them ride a brachiosaur too.
-
If these guys are all locked up together. Again, how do they communicate with one another??? That's where the Puny Cocky Interpreter Character comes into play, he's locked up with them. He's a Pirate Swabby and that's how he knows all the Languages. He's travelled the world and beyond. He's in there for public drunkenness, flashing, and defaming the kings name, and he has to be a little man. The sleazy guy who offers these lockups freedom or escape from hanging/beheading has to claim to be an aid to the King or something like that. He's is wearing a robe that covers his face and true identity. Maybe he provides them with hidden weapons or a key that will aid in their escape on the way to their hangings/beheadings. He tells them to meet him at a certain location after they escape to talk turkey. He promises them great wealth and a ship to take them back home. They arrive at this cabin in the woods, a feast and women await them. The sleazy shows up. He informs them of their poisoning. They must avoid light or they will die. He tells them he wants steal the kings crown and that they may keep all of the other kings wealth for themselves, after they succeed he will provide them with the antidote and ship to take them back to their native land. Under the cover of night they make it all the way to the kings throne room, and when they arrive there they are surprised to see the sleaze is murdering the king. The sleaze tricked them all along. It turns out he's the King's son. The Kings army storms the throne room. The Sleaze blames his fathers murder on the band. They have to retreat from the kings army. The sun is rising. They find a cave to hide in. They remain in the caves until nightfall. That or they hide in a village that the kings armies attack while looking for them. The dialog outside of the European characters has to be in subtitles.
-
Sounds terrible, but it could be B movie fun if done right...probably not though.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 435 total posts 435 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 88 total posts 88 posts
- AVENGERS enemy revealed as pink boardgame pieces... You might suffer some form of elation... SPOILERS!!! -- 86 total posts 80 posts
- Rest In Peace Bethesda’s Adam Adamowicz -- 76 total posts 76 posts
- The Sensorties Revisit The Friday Docback (And Still Smell)!! DOCTOR WHO Story #7 Again, The Coming Of Season/Series 7, And More!! -- 69 total posts 69 posts
- Quint travels to Barsoom and visits the John Carter set!!! -- 127 total posts 62 posts
- SPACE 2099!! -- 159 total posts 61 posts
- Friday Brings SWEEPS DAY NINE!! Gab Here About Tonight’s FRINGE!! Plus Einstein on TIM, Wiig On PORTLANDIA, MAHER, CLONE, GIFTED, GRIMM, SPARTACUS, SUPERNATURAL, GOLD RUSH And More!! -- 88 total posts 60 posts
- Wanna smell like the Hulk? What about Cap? Consider yourself a Thunder God or a unisex God of Mischief? -- 58 total posts 57 posts
- Ridley Scott's Next Will Be Cormac McCarthy's THE COUNSELOR! -- 50 total posts 50 posts