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Harry was taken aback from his visit to LAND OF THE LOST!
I grew up with LAND OF THE LOST. But more than that, I grew up with liberal as hell parents that let me see everything from Cheech & Chong films to FLESH GORDON to the silent LOST WORLD, KING KONG, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH and on and on and on. It was the Seventies - and the world was very different. VERY different. As proof, you need look no further than Sid & Marty Krofft's Television shows. They were very bizarre. The show was amongst the most ambitious live-action children shows ever attempted.
How can I say that? Well, for the budget at the time, the schedule... to try and pull off a bizarre Edgar Rice Burroughs juvenile adventure show... Well - it was insanity, but dammit, they tried it and they made a show that was more about ideas than execution. It was my introduction to parallel dimensions, years before reading about weird dimensions on comic books, and further still from my paperback discoveries. In a way, LAND OF THE LOST was a gateway drug for science fiction/fantasy for an entire generation. It was the first place I heard that mushrooms did things to your mind. It was progressively stranger and more intensely science fiction. Sure it started with dinosaurs named Grumpy and Dopey - but man... when the story got to Pylons and that other weird shit. Fried this young boy's brain.
That said - you look at the show today and you have an entirely different reaction. You see just how rough, visually, it all was. There's tons of laughs, intentional and not. And the more adult things... you see them too. When I asked Marty how he got that sort of thing past the Network, he said they were clueless. Great answer.
So when I arrived at the screening, and saw everyone clutching their Chaka backpacks, and posing in fear at the awesome might of Grumpy, the T-Rex. Well... I was happy. This was going to be the perfect audience to see whatever it was that Brad Silberling had put together.
The first thing you need to know about LAND OF THE LOST is that it is rated PG 13. The film has often sexual references, the dialogue is filled with strong strong language and there is a drug experience. Now - you never see tits. The drug experience is with something that can only be found in the land of the lost universe - but it is a pleasant and enjoyable trippy experience with munchies and all.
The film is exactly what you would expect from this team of creators. Do you like Will Ferrell? Well, he's silly as hell here. After a tragic TODAY SHOW confrontation with Matt Lauer, his funding for his "Time Warp" theories go down the drain. Marshall ends up working at the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles. Where he's sought out by the oh my god hot, Anna Friel - who is playing Holly Cantrell. A hot graduate student that gave up everything to pursue Marshall's theories... and find him to show him the evidence she has.
They hook up with Danny McBride's trailer trash Will Stanton - he works at a roadside cave attraction that he's trying to parlay into a giant Casino of his own.
Now the the film is very funny, very goofy, VERY BROAD and hopelessly irreverent. This film is gorgeously produced, but far far more adult in its humor than anything UNIVERSAL has hinted at. To me, this was a relief and also something that I realized could end up leaving a bad taste in a lot of parents' mouths that don't want their innocent kids to ask, "Mommy, why is that man putting his hand into his pants, what's he gonna do?" Because... that scene is there. There's even a scene where the characters blitzed out of their minds on some alien prehistoric drug juice - where Danny McBride tries to get Will Ferrell's character to "french kiss" Cha-Ka. Now you don't see that happen, but they get real close.
For me, the audience for this film is anyone that grew up in the seventies with LAND OF THE LOST, but was old enough to enjoy the hell out of Ringo Starr's CAVEMAN. That's a particular audience.
All those caveats to the side - Harry, what did you think of the movie?
I had a blast with it. As did the majority of the audience. The biggest flaw with the film, isn't the film - but the marketing campaign for this movie. The fear that they had to make this a Family Film in order to market it, but the reality is - it can play to a much older audience, and by selling it as a family film - there will be very upset families, possibly. Not all. There were lots of kids here at our event, and their parents seemed to be fine with it. And none of these kids seemed traumatized by Will Ferrell's pants plunge.
The fact is kids can take the more adult stuff, because they live with adults - and at some point we all figure out why Mom & Dad's door is closed - and that weird stuff happens in the real world. Personally, I think all the kids will be distracted by Grumpy the T-Rex and those amazingly creepy fucking Sleestaks.
Btw - The Sleestaks rule. They're slow moving, but when they get close and they're about to get you, their mouths open up and man. Nightmares man. Seriously, I never once thought about a Sleestak's mouth before, but I can imagine the little boy that once watched this show with wonder, getting freaked the fuck out. Because those Sleestaks worked their ways into more than one childhood nightmare. Here... here it's a few new wrinkles that reminded me how creepy these silly slow moving reptile men were.
And this all brings me to CHA-KA and the man in the costume, one Jorma Taccone. In the original series, CHA-KA was a cute little boy in freaky make-up. He was going to get eaten by Grumpy, but the Marshall kids saved him, they fixed his leg and became their friend.
Here - Cha-Ka is a primitive pre-man fur thing, that was saved from execution from his own people, which we later are meant to believe was a Coup attempt. Cha-Ka is a Prince among his brethren. Jorma is such a magnificent dirty bastard. Everytime the rough gets going, he leaves our "heroes" in the lurch. You can tell that Cha-Ka isn't an idiot, he knows lots more than he's letting on. While he doesn't "speak English" he seems to perfectly understand it. Not only that, but... well, I won't spoil it.
Cha-Ka is pretty damn filthy, from grabbing Anna Friel's boobs, to humping Will's leg and groping his crotch.
Is it a great film? No. Bo Welch's production design is great. As is the score by Michael Giacchino, who has pulled off 3 solid scores within a month! Without any of them sounding anything like each other.
The visual effects are quite a bit of fun. The various CG characters are a blast - in particular, they've managed to get quite a bit of personality into a fully rendered and non-cartoony T-Rex. It is some very nice character animation. The look of the world is dead on. At every level it LOOKS like LAND OF THE LOST, even if the tone is completely subverted by the funny characters now occupying the universe.
I'm not sure I could have taken this done to very many of my childhood properties, but there was always a silliness to the original. And I guarantee, that once they enter a pylon - kids are going to be amazed just like when I discovered what they meant.
But I've got a sneaking suspicion that like much of the Krofft productions - the subversive part of society will discover and exploit the very overt trippiness that this film has going for it.
That said, this won't play to everyone. But if it plays for you, you're gonna really really have a good time, like we did at the Alamo.
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Cant wait! Will Ferrel can be funny as fuck when he's not playing himself!!
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Star Trek owns the summer
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trailer looks great. ill be seeing it in a few hours
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Sounds great!
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to quote the late great George Carlin "Fuck the Children!"
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...And it made no impression on me. None. Nada. Don't give a shit about nostalgia, really, least of all for the horrible fucking 70s.
It's only relevance is that Ferrell and Co. are kicking the shit out of it for this movie, and that's a good thing. -
How the fuck could that be?I hate will ferrell movies other then old school and there are some funny moments in blades of glory but he does the same schtick every film.I'll never forget how angy i was after watching anchor man and not laughing.realizing i was fucked out of $15.99
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Which shouldn't surprise me really. It's all were getting from Hollywood at the moment.
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but your entitled to your opinion Harry, it is however losing credibility with me and thats an understatement.
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Will Ferrels dick had no shit on it?
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Jun 05, 2009 5:25:46 AM CDT
Harry's favourite phrase is 'that said'. However, that said...
by lordporkington
It's not my favourite phrase and he uses it way too much. Please stop using it Harry, it makes for a very repetitive writing style. That'll do pig, that'll do.
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Jun 05, 2009 5:27:06 AM CDT
Forget LAND OF THE LOST! THE HANGOVER is where it's at!
by mr_incredible
Funniest movie I've seen in a long time. It was absolutely hilarious.
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Harry, why do you feel the need to give a film a decent review when you know it sucked ass?
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because that isn't the case.
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I wanna see it. Anything that gives wholesome kids nightmares is a must see for me
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X Men Origins: Wolverine, Star Trek, Terminator Salvation and now this. Only Iron Jim can save us now.
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Jun 05, 2009 6:05:55 AM CDT
So, Carradine was trying to get a sexual high from Asphyxiation?
by stooopider
Wasn't he, like, 73 or something? That's like catching your grandpa jerking off isnt it?
Come on Carradine, say it ain't so. Say it was ninjas or something -
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz pass.
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"That said" is hardly the biggest problem with Harry's writing. That said...you're right, he overuses it.
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Yet it does include Watchmen and will include Transformers 2 to top it off.
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I'm glad they made it a little naughty. Yet they are target marketing to kids and families on this.
Anyway that's their problem. -
Already saw it at a prescreening and it was freakin hilarious. Everyone was choking on their popcorn and surprised at how funny it is. . . which we were all amazed at thinking it would be a lame duck.
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So you're saying someone liked that worthless piece of coke-fueled garbage?
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Unless they edited all the racy & funny bits that were in the version I saw, IMHO... I have to disagree with the rotten on this one.
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Jun 05, 2009 7:30:07 AM CDT
Harry is right about LoTL being more cerebral than we remember
by fireclown
I watched a bunch of the marathon last weekend, and most of the show went over my head when I was a tot.
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whenever he likes a movie, I know I'm going to hate it. I had the same experience with Siskel and Ebert back in the day (still do with Roger Ebert). IMO John Nolte gives the most credible reviews for movies and I'll stick with his opinion.
Thanks Harry! I'll save my money for Transformers 2. -
If he liked it, that's good enough for me.
Yes yes, I'm in the Roger-Ebert-Is-Rarely-Wrong camp. But the man seems to "get" it--particularly in regards to films that are supposed to be quirky. Like this one.
Harry, you're in good company on this one. Be proud you enjoyed it. -
*I* had fairly conservative parents, and during my impressionable years my parents regularly included me in their movie-watching, including Scarface, Dawn of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, History of the World Part I, Revenge of the Nerds etc.
I don't think sometimes it's so much of a political issue as it is that some parents actually give their child some credit as to their intelligence. -
I can totally buy the man who brought us Rod Burgundy filling in for Spencer Milligan (where are you Spencer?), but I wish he would have kept his Semi-Pro 'fro for LOTL. Will Ferrell + white man 'fro + tight khaki short shorts = a Rick Marshall for the 21st century!
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This flick was dreadful. Absolute dreck. A complete waste of potentially cool concepts on an un-funny comedy.
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what's next? you gonna Love Inglorius Bastards?
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Harry you fill your reviews with so much exposition and compliments on certain individuals work that it's hard to find out if the movie is really good or not. Review the film and not just the composer, or one actor, or telling us how the marketing was directed toward families. All that is fine, but don't bury the statement, "Is it a good film? No."
No need to make excuses for it. Also, try some proofreading buddy. You're supposed to be somewhat professional. -
the same jackass that ripped Terminator Salvation a new asshole? Give me a break! Anybody with a brain can see that this movie is going to suck. Your review is the first positive one I've seen - everybody else is giving it your Terminator review. I have completely lost faith in your film reviews.
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my standards are dropping so low because of the vast quantity of feces coming out of the film industry. I'm not desperate enough to watch transformers though.
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That was some retarded fucking shit ~ the Willy Wonka tube scene with Scotty was embarrassing as were many of the other childish jokes. I ended up walking out during the final half-hour. I'm very, very worried about J.J. trying to help The Dark Tower after watching ST...
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GIANT PIG!!!
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it is highly annoying whenever any varation of that phrase is ever used.
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Jun 05, 2009 8:39:43 AM CDT
I hope they make an Altered States of Druggachusetts movie next
by rev_skarekroe
We can't use the phone! There's PEOPLE on the other end! They'll KNOW, man!
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It boggles my mind the amount of bloggers who can hardly form coherent sentences, let alone an entire movie review. And I don't even consider the above a review. It's more a background on the source material, followed by a play-by-play of the film with a tiny sprinkle of personal opinion. And that seems to be the cookie-cutter formula for all reviews around here. Learn diversity for fuck's sake. Get creative.
With RT rating LOTL at 23% and Harry providing a positive review - well it speaks to his taste and sets up another separate rant.
My point is, guys like Harry haven't clued into the fact that bloggers are writers - and writing is rewriting. It would be worth the $100 investment for Harry to hit up Barnes and Noble for a few helpful books...
The Little Red Writing Book
Painless Writing
Roget's Thesaurus
...to name some favourites.
Harry and his staff have made a career choice to be writers. Please prove to us you can handle that commitment Harry and fucking show us some chops besides the ugly orange ones on your face. -
Jun 05, 2009 8:47:47 AM CDT
any summer where Star Trek is the bright spot is definitely Summ
by stifler's mom
only The Hangover gives me hope.
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yup.
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That said, Harry is taken aback by everything from the Nimoy-attended "Trek" screening he was fucking given to the Terminator fuckable skull MacJee gave him to the dump he took this morning requiring him to wake Yoko to wipe him.
It's a given that if it is a riff on something he saw as a wide-eyed, "the world is my oyster" dumbfounded youth destined to be reviled by the same internet fans that once made him, then he'll cum himself over it.
I agree, while this isn't a "professional" website and Harry isn't a "professional" writer, any fucking AP English, $10 book on writing, or Asian wife/proofreader could fix 80 percent of the problems with these posts
Thing is, like reality TV, if it's consumable and a product people can enjoy, there will be no bitchfest, which means no high traffic in the talkbacks, which means Master Repllicas doesn't see ad hits spike through the roof and give Harry the 1:1 scale replica endoskeleton for that Terminator McG's feces-encrusted phalus gave him before saying, "Harry, get this movie trashed. I want my career deader than my brother."
I agree with the above posters on the review style. It's inevitable that you'll find 3-5 uses of "blown away", a good dozen or so "that said's", a long rambling paragraph about why this movie is important because Harry saw the original movie/TV series as a Jerry O'Connell-sized mini-Jorge Garcia in Austin during his childhood and how it changed the entire way he lives his life, the dropping of only about three quasi-relevant names, a few "I've got the inside scoop because I'm a chubby ginger" tidbits of trivia, and an ever convincing critic endorcement amounting to "I liked it. Therefore, either Jesus must like it or I'll send the Jews after his sandal-wearing ass again and have them make killing him stick this time."
Mean? Yes, I am. But when a site is considered one of the industry standards, is granted interviews with the best of Hollywood (regardless if any of us think they are or not), and features many studio exclusives, I expect a level of journalism above what I read in my junior high school "newspaper". Yes, the style is was supposed to be "real guys writing for real guys" when this site launched. In 1996! 13 years later, I'd hope that these "guys" would learn how to at least skim a style manual at Borders while getting sweaty thumbprints all over the funny books by the cafe.
That all being said, this is another 40-something adult retard movie aimed at entertaining stoners and kids born with fetal alcohol syndrome because mommmy was getting drunk when she was preggo watching the original "Land of the Lost". -
What an awesome Mr. Show sketch that was. And David with that wig doing that dance! Classic!
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I'd be squeezing this turd out of my ass for weeks if I saw this movie.
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But then again, he liked Speed Racer...
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Harry's reviews are ALWAYS this badly written--its his trademark. The man is one of the worst writers I've ever seen. He can't punctuate, he can't spell, he meanders, and he rarely ever writes coherently. It's just par for the course--his writing is on the level of a 5th grader.
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Glad to hear it's decent. What a relief!
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albiet just a suggestion.
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Sorry Harry, you're an okay dude, but this sucker's rating like, 10% on Rotten Tomatoes and you haven't been known of late, for your accurate reviews. I mean, I'll throw you a bone here, you do tend to find the enjoyable crap, such as JJ Trek, but sometimes crap is just that, crap, and I think nostalgia sometimes blurs the line for you when it comes to your opinions and reviews.
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albeit
One entry found.
Main Entry:
al·be·it Listen to the pronunciation of albeit
Pronunciation:
\ȯl-ˈbē-ət, al-\
Function:
conjunction
Etymology:
Middle English, literally, all though it be
Date:
14th century
: conceding the fact that : even though : although
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... that final season where Holly had gotten her boobs over the summer hiatus. (I was only like, 10 at the time and it was a revelation.)
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You suck Harry....Thats pretty much it. This review was FUCKING UNPROFESSIONAL!
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Dude cracks me up.
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I grew up with the show. I was mesmerized by it. I'm sure it comes off quite lame now...I should youtube it and see.
That being said, I wouldn't expect some faithful recreation...but this is all about NAME RECOGNITION. T-Rex, Sleestaks, Cha-Ka etc used as a jumping off point for whatever. Meh. I can't help but see the marketing and executive decision angle in a fast food PRODUCT like this. No Thanks.
However, the Sleestaks are damn near the coolest things ever. those things used to scare the hell out of me with their hissing and their cave with those gems and their trippy lost technology shit they coveted...again, maybe not as cool as I remembered but like Harry, it sent my mind off in new directions and made an indelible impression. -
Original series all day. That being said It still looks shitty today as it did in the 70's the movie has to be better then this no matter who agrees with Harry or not.
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Amazingly, Harry doesn't have to prove anything to you. If you don't like the way he writes his reviews, DON'T READ THEM. You have a choice not to patronize this site. Jeezy Creezy, you people who are constantly bitching about the quality of writing on this site amaze me. If you don't want a geek's hyperbolic take on mostly crappy films, don't read what Harry has to say. Go to RT and read the starred reviewers or watch Ben and Jerky At The Movies. Seriously! Stop the fucking whining about the quality of writing. Those of you who think Harry and company write at the high school level have no fucking clue how high school students write. I teach high school students. IN GENERAL, they just don't write very well at all (certainly not with the stylistic hyperbole of one Harry Knowles). So next time you think to complain about the quality of the writing, stop. Surf away. You're just a jackass and you don't have a hugely popular site and you're jealous because you think you're better than the people here. But maybe you can prove us all wrong and start your own site that lots of like minded people read. Go ahead. Do it. Then maybe we can parse your grammar and style after the thousandth review.
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lol then we know it's a harry review!! haven't read it yet, but my guess is he likes it A LOT!!
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any other movie that did this to a favorite childhood property would have faced the wrath of knowles.
for an interesting look at the shitty marketing of this flick, look no farther than LAND O' FROST lunchmeat having a tie in with LAND OF THE LOST based purely on similar names. -
typical! now lets read everything in between
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Meet Dave and The Happening, this summer's got a leg up over last.
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he's grown up with everything, knows everyone and is constantly reminding us how cool his parents were. first paragraph of every review. i never read that in journalism class, but i guess it works, i should use it. Paragraph one: relate how you are associated with, related to or similar to subject no matter what subject is. mention parents. then write apologetic review. repeat.
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Seriously, what's the deal here?
I take Harry's reviews less seriously than anyone else on this webpage anymore. -
Jun 05, 2009 10:16:17 AM CDT
Giant Pig is a hair on the ass of Total Fucking Destruction
by kief_ledger
What the hell happened to that guy?
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Naw. She is pretty, but definitely nowhere near "hot" territory.
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THAT'S WHAT I GREW UP WITH IN REFERENCE TO LAND OF THE LOST.
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That T-Rex is very much cartoony- and if that T-Rex has a lot of character- it's because it is so cartoony. Harry, I have no idea how you could look at that T-Rex and not see that it was clearly supposed to have a cartoony style- and as a died in the wool cartoonist, I really appreciate that look. Hell, I thought the T-Rexs in PJ's King Kong were very cartoony (and cool looking as a result), and they weren't half as cartoony as this Land of the Lost T-Rex.
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HONEST TO FUCKING GOD.
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that revamping of Bewitched. Boy, did they go in the wrong direction on that one.
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as a child? No wonder you come up with phrases like "chocolate covered pussy juice"...
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I've been on this site for YEARS. And over that time, I've seen the quality of the coverage here declining, just like the "mainstream" entertainment sources, like ET and Entertainment Weekly and E!.
Why do we bitch? Because if someone bitches enough, something might get done. It worked for "Family Guy" fans and FOX years ago. It worked for the "Firefly" fans who got "Serenity". It worked for the women who wanted to vote. So in a fantasy world where "Speed Racer", "The Phantom Menace" and "Land of the Lost" can be great films, then maybe this fat tub of shit can get his way too. -
would my review of Harry's review been better if I'd used buzz words like "albiet", "that said", "antipentultimate" and "taken aback", peppered with references to the original "Too Close For Comfort", before Will Farrell remakes that too?
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You need to shut the fuck up with that bullshit. This is a PUBLIC website, and the reviews are for the PUBLIC consumption, i.e we can say what the fuck we want about them. Your "if you dont like it dont read it" horseshit makes you sound like one of the kiddie drones falling into the meatgrinder in Pink Floyd The Wall. You wanna have an attitude like that, move to fucking CHINA. Seriously, when Harry puts up a good review, Im the first to say so, but when he puts up dreck like this with 4 paragraphs of bullshit exposition or starts BULLSHITTING about how HE convinced QT to cast Carradine in KILL BILL, Im gonna fucking call him out on it. End of fucking story. You dont like it? Go piss in a fucking pot. That being said, Im unemployed and have LOTS of free time on my hands.....
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than the news and reporting offered by the site itself. so many non-articles and non-news. often just a hey- guess what we heard- that is not only old news by that point, but then we get a link to the site where we already read the info like 3 days ago. which kind of makes coming to AICN to get entertainment news akin to eating someone else's vomit to get nutrition.
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You suggest that, while Harry's reviews are badly written, it's his trademark, thus making it okay.
Does that mean I can suggest that, while John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown, raped and murdered 33 kids, then buried them under his house, it's his trademark. and that's his trademark, thus making it okay? -
That Flesh Gordon comment made my AM orange juice come out of my nose, and my dog is looking at me funny...well done sir!
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Stupid premise, phony CG, boring jokes, and that's just the trailer. You couldn't pay me to watch the rest of it.
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Download the Joblessfilm reviews podcast.
Find out what two people without jobs think of films.
http://joblessfilmreviews.podomatic.com -
In China, you don't get a choice. That being said, if you have all sorts of free time, start a blog reviewing Harry's reviews. Have fun with that. But you are right. You can say whatever you like here. But hey, so can I! I can tell you to go suck it if I like because it's not China. I just get tired of people who bitch and moan about the quality of the writing which has never been great. Complain about the substance of the reviews all you like. But bitching about grammar and style? Seriously. "You misplaced your modifiers, Harry, and ended your sentence in a preposition! Your site sucks!" So tired.
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is a little bit of research, a little bit of unbiased, impersonal reporting, or at least write editorials that don't paint him so poorly. i mean all he has to do in life is attend movies and talk to movie stars and check in at his website...for a living...in these tough times...and it seems like he can't even be bothered to do that anymore. so i wonder does he spend much of his day straightening action figures on a shelf or something? fuck, give me a site where i make as much money from ads and get to have early access to media and get freebies and i'll be damned if i'm not on here almost every hour of every day making this a better, more credible and interesting place. for starters, this whole web design would have been updated over a decade ago.
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I guess that's why Harry ain't a top critic. I'm not sure what the fuck he is. But I think he might be related to that Chaka thing.
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Do you think Harry's going to go and take a CC class in College Writing to address your QC complaints? Harry's style is Harry's style. I disagree with his content all the time. I just don't care about his word choice/style enough to take up pen and write about it. He's not going to change (and to compare him to Gacy is so unfair...his treatment of language is much more on par with Henry Lee Lucas). But his style is stupid and fun and if you can't accept it, seriously, read someone else. I don't read authors I don't like. It's not China (benlinus). I don't have to read Harry's reviews.
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All Harry has to do is suck your balls. This site is built on personal reporting.
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i read better personal reporting in the talkbacks, while king baby just drops in now and then to gloat.... that's all.
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So, if there's a sequel, will "Uncle Jack" come searching after Marshall gets teleported away? Jack Black, your phone is ringing.
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This site has always been about the great Talkbacks. It's the only thing worth revisiting on here. Hours of free entertainment.
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This movie SUCKED. I saw LOTL at a preview screening last month, and even though some of the special effects were rough, the movie was essentially complete. I'm fully aware that this movie will make a bazillion dollars because it appeals to those who fondly remember the Saturday morning series and who now have kids. It's been marketed as the only live-action "family" movie out there at the moment (although it really isn't all that family friendly, and the PG-13 rating should indicate that). So it will open big. But that doesn't mean it's any good. There are only two things that make this film more than a complete waste of celluloid: 1) The production design is amazing, and 2) The running gag with the T-Rex is actually pretty hilarious. Unfortunately, everything else about this movie is BAD, starting with the script, which is desperately unfunny and places too much on the shoulders of Will Farrell, who isn't strong enough to carry this picture. His co-stars are uninteresting, unfunny, and have no screen presence at all. It would have been MUCH better for the film if it implemented a strong comic female lead. A perfect choice would have been Tina Fey. She is not only funny, but projects braininess (which the role requires) and she and Will are two SNL alumni who have never worked together in a film, so it would have been a casting coup. But alas, we get second-rate TV actors as co-stars since all the money went to Will and the production design, not to mention (again) a desperately weak script. Outside of the T-Rex, everything else is unfunny, and to make matters worse, the "jokes" are repeated over and over ad nauseum until you want to pull out an elephant gun and shoot everyone on screen. And, to top it all off, the ending just DRAGS, weighed down by relentless and boring exposition. This movie is BAD.
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bringing in uncle jack was when LOTL jumped the shark......or i guess you could say the series 'brought in uncle jack'....saw that episode last week...they couldn't even get the real dad in for that episode...had some look- alike shot from the back enter a portal and disappear. and what should have been a traumatic event for the kids, just became and 'gosh, oh well' moment...and they took to uncle jack like it was nothing at all.
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Your creating a Pandora's Box. Your saying "This is not China" alluding to the point I made, and then in the next sentence your saying "if you dont like read something else" We have every right to come here and bitch, and you have every to tell me to suck David Carradine's cock. 1st Amendment and all that stuff. That being said, I dont give a fuck about Harry's Typo's one bit. What I DO care about is his constant bullshit, his delusions of grandeur, his PARAGRAPHS full of exposition that no one gives a shit about, and his generally sucky reviews and overt ass kissing. zom.bot has it right on in his previous post. Fuck man, you know what, I just saw UP with my family the other day and I am going to post a review of it on this thread, so you can see the difference. Actually, just read Massrym's reviews. TEN TIMES better.....what was I talking about again?
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Also, did the fact that you saw it for free and probably had a few beers (maybe a little herb?) factor into your opinion of the film?
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I expect no one to take a college class to write for this site. I do expect them to, however, have been able to write a piece of material with some journalistic merit.
What's that someone says? These are't professional journalists? Then why the fuck are they getting press kits, exclusive access, interviews with the producers, directors, writers, etc? Because they're friends of Harry? How'd he meet these friends? By writing movie reviews on the internet.
As you're entitled to "don't like it, leave". Just as I'm entitled to say "you can do better if you take 15 minutes to reread what you post on a site visited by fans, critics, celebs, and industry leaders. If for no better reason than to be able to take pride in your fucking work.
The reviews are getting as lazy as the films being reviewed. -
were glad to get paid and begrudgingly show up for promotions at SUBWAY chains with Jared
http://nukethefridge.com/pics/SubwayLost.jpg
but i hope to god they didn't actually watch the movie because it has none of the innocence or thought provoking sci-fi elements. i imagine it would be like watching will ferrell scream like a howler monkey while he rapes their daughters. -
"if you can't accept it, seriously, read someone else."
This site is one of many I read daily for news, reviews, interviews and such. It gets the best opportunities, but sadly it pisses them away in presentation. Again, all boils down to pride: do you want to be a respectable entertainment journalist or a 37 year old reporter writing like an 18 year old stoner. Were the only thing separating the former from the latter a $10 book on style... I'd be on Amazon placing an order. -
..thats the "marketed to kids but really made for adults" film to look for this year. Can't wait to see it.
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Jun 05, 2009 11:45:04 AM CDT
One thing is adult humor, the other is shock gross comedy
by ricarleite2
Harry doesn't know the difference.
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....the Star Trek lovers try to defend that stinker, they boil it down to being a fun movie then go on to attack Terminator Salvation, which was ten times more intelligent and delivered the action goods?
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Jun 05, 2009 11:47:29 AM CDT
It gets the best opportunities, but sadly it pisses them away
by zom-bot.com
exactly. so i berate to try to make them realize that. i don't think their gravy train is going to be rolling this way forever. not when you use terms like bowls of dicks in your reviews of movies made for children. you lose a big chunk of integrity...not just as a journalist, but as a friend to all of us. i feel like we that bitch are the only thing close to an intervention that harry's gonna get to steer this site back on track. god knows why, i want to help him keep the site good. i'm not the only one seeing it slip.
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every time they come here to complain they only add to his hit count which ups his ad revenue. Kudos Harry. Benefit from their stupidity.
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Regardless, I keep coming here for the exact reason that you guys do what you do. I mean, I must for I keep coming back. Not that people aren't making good points, but overall, the pell-mellness is what makes it so fun. For me anyway. (As long as you keep letting us bitch and have fun.)
I know I'll most likely be branded a "boot-licker"
But if you can't find 'em grind 'em man! -
Jun 05, 2009 11:52:14 AM CDT
eWasn't CHA-KA the original series played by Clint Howard?
by orionsangels
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if we could all stop argueing with each other and just walk away from this place for like, a solid week...maybe that would work. fuck it. why do you come, knowthyself?
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And thats the most important part of any film if you ask me.
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Its just one of many. AICN reviews are fascinating, for better or worse. I may not agree with Harry but...the truth is...I want to know what he thinks of a movie regardless.
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http://www.landofthelost.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-3343.html
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none of them are overwhelmingly or even marginally positive. That said, here are a few examples:
"There are a few funny-ish moments, but the filmmakers rely too much on self parody"
"A pleasantly undistinguished pudding."
"It's not that Land of the Lost is devoid of humor or adventure... Ultimately, though, the film feels like a series of ideas thrown at the wall, with only some of them sticking."
Keep in mind that these are the positive reviews! That said, I don't think I'm going to like it. One critic says that at least 15 minutes could have been subtracted from the movie if you removed Will Ferrell's improvisational dialogue. I hate the director cut versions of his film when they re-add all of extended scene improv crap that should remain on the cutting room floor.
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Sounds like a movie you need to watch while high. Much like the original show.
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I think some of you lose track of what this site is. It's a web version of ET. If you want serious reviews you don't read Harry's do you. You read Ebert for that. Nothing personal against Harry but I've read some of his reviews for years now and most are just flashbacks to his childhood, living in the past, crude unnecessary decriptions of sex or bodily functions and a lot of name dropping. I quit taking his "reviews" seriously back when he was on Siskel and Ebert and he gushed over a Godzilla man in suit movie. Really? This is the kind of movie you find Good? Exciting? Recomend? Did anyone here run out and actually PAY to see it? But I believe that's the way he sees movies. He thinks of them as extensions of his childhood. That's all well and good, right? I look for a more little objective, critical review that will spark my interest and challenge my expectations and help me to decide if I want to spend the ungodly amount they charge for admission these days or not. I don't know how many movies Harry actually pays admission to see and I don't really care, but I have to, as do most of you. If you're looking for "reviews" that try to add as many other movie title references as possible to "compare" the movie too and like to add words like "Cum" and premature ejaculation references to their articles that you can giggle over then this is just what you are looking for. That appeals to the 12-16 yr old male group that comes here. That's fine. Really! I come to this site on a daily basis so I'm not trying to be harshly crirical, I find alot of it interesting and I liked contributers like Moriarty, when he was here, I just take it for what it is and that's mostly a corporation hype machine. Intentional or not, that's what I always come away thinking. I don't read most of Harry's reviews because I find them tedious exercises and irrelevant to my taste and meandering at best. One persons great movie is anothers dribble right? If I feel that way going in why would I read them just so I can slam it in a talkback? What a waste of time.So maybe some of you can remember that it's just peoples opinions before you refer to someones weight or ass or wife or whatever spiteful tiny thoughts come into your head when you disagree with another person. Disagree or agree all you want but try a maintain a little respect.
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It sures make Advent Children melt your eyes! Oh, I said it! Man, wish I had some wookiee-weed this very moment. (heh, it's like I'm an undercover agent on a fishing expedition.) "Hey kids . . . how about those reefers?"
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Don't take it so literally. I had "liberal" parents that were both Republicans. It's not always a political term. It also means "open-minded or tolerant, esp. free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc." More people should realize this. I know of a lot of Republican/Conservatives that are so liberal(in this interpretation/meaning), they might as well be wearing Che halloween masks to work every day and a rainbow tattoo on their arms.
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Star Trek will always reign over Terminator: Salvation for one simple reason: Leonard Nimoy NEVER threatened to rip down anyone's fucking lights.
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almost french kissing something hairy, almost seeing tits, drug induced haze...Harry must have felt right at home....And SHOCKER...Harry liked it...remember, he liked Twilight and hated Terminator...'nough said...
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if the review is "spelled" correctly or there is a comma in the right place...are we reading this fucking site to become scholars? It's a movie review web site where "fuck" "dick" "cum" are frequently placed in the headers...if you want D.H. Lawerence..go to the fucking wiki site...
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It was to be titled: Land of the Autoerotically Asphyxiated. Too bad that one won't be playing for kids all across the country.
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I was bored, what the heck.
This movie was flat and humorless. You could hear the fucking crickets in the theater at every so-called "funny bit". Like the "lets keep this bit going so long it will become funny" shtick with the dinosaur piss.
The ONLY thing I liked was the Nimoy cameo. That was oddly cool in a meta way. -
than that shit turd fest Terminator Salvation.
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Yeah, Marty Kroft loves all the tit and shit jokes. Uh huh. If you read his autobiography, he talks about making LOTL like a Jurassic Park style epic -- not Will Ferrell and his tired team of "comics." I hope this film dies a dog's death and there'll be no more cynical re-imaginings of these shows...
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I rag on Harry almost daily for his bullshitting and endless exposition that no one gives a shit about, so now I am attempting to walk the walk. Here is my review of "Up" no exposition, no bullshit, no bootlicking, no ass kissing, just a simple review, enjoy. OH, since I AM unemployed, if anyone is looking for a contributor???? DGDB, that means you baby, I'll be MORE than happy to work for FREEEEEEE!......enjoy:----------------------------------------------
Pixar has once again cemented itself as the preeminent studio in the business with its latest masterpiece “UP” After the release of Toy Story 14 years ago, Pixar continues to put out movie after movie that delivers on visual levels, emotional levels and laugh out loud levels (“Squirrel!”) It’s hard for me to remember the last “feel good” live-action movie that made me laugh, made me cry and made me walk out of the theatre feeling good. The first thing that pops into my head is Forest Gump, and that was 15 years ago. In “UP” John Lasseter's ambitions are a bit higher, we are not dealing with robots, toys, cars, or danicing rats, we are dealing with, for the most part, humans. Humans who have suffered and are looking for redmption and a second chance. While the laughs are aplenty, this is a very deep and often draining theme, and will certainly go right over the head of most 6 year olds. Although, I was shocked, during the “montage” scene, when my own 6 year old daughter shouted out “she cant have a baby!” Lasseter and company balance a very fine line between the laughter and the deep, emotional drama. Unlike Pixar’s “other” masterpiece “WALL-E” UP isnt really trying to preach or send a message, and for that, this reviewer is most appreciative. Our hero here is a seller of helium balloons, Carl Fredericksen (voiced by the wonderful Ed Asner). If this wasn’t just a “vocal role” I would say it was the preformace of a lifetime. Ok, it still may be. He is absolutely wonderful as an old widower whose oddly shaped face definitely reminds one of Spencer Tracey. I can tell you that the opeing 10 minute prologue, which expalins Carl’s depressing and morose outlook as an old man, ranks amongst the finest things that Pixar has ever done, and had this manly man weeping in his seat. I also heard sniffles from the wife. Carl is young and full of life, a wannabe explorer. He meets a gap-toothed “Ellie” (voiced by the wonderful Elie Docter) Ellie and Carl grow up in the 1930’s and are obsessed and fascinated by the daring and ultimately shunned and outcast explorer Charles Muntz (voiced by Christopher Plummer). Time passes, and eventually, so does Ellie, and Carl is left, a widow, with broken dreams and a trip to South America that is left unfulfilled. Carl’s world has outgrown him, and he appears to be destined to have his home torn down, and his golden years spent in a retirement home. Of course, you know the rest, hence the title of the movie. Smartly, “UP” gives us some comic relief in the form of “Russell” (voiced by Jordan Nagai), a wilderness explorer who has stowed away on Carl’s front porch. The scenes between these 2 are just so perfectly written. Carl cant stand the kid, yet he grows to care about him, in time he looks to protect Russell. On the flip side, Russell comes to have the “father figure” (or grandfather) that he never really had. Its so simple, yet it works so perfectly. Its like something Kapra would have written in the 1940’s. You wonder why Hollywood doesn’t crank out MORE movies with this simple yet wonderful premise. If there is ANY weakness to this film its in the second act, when our hero’s are dumped into the South American fantasyland that Carl had dreamed of as a kid. Here you get your standard disney fare, a squawking, yet lovable bird, angry dogs who can talk, and the “eeevilllllll” explorer who will stop at nothing to catch his prize and reclaim his long past glory. Its all perfectly fine, its just that it pales in comparison to the films first act. Its almost like we are watching 2 completely different movies. I’ll have to say that I thought that the talking dog “Dug” (voiced by screenwriter Bob Peterson) had some VERY funny lines that my daughter went gaga over (“you are my master, and I love you!) Whats particulary good about these jungle scenes is that “Dug” talks and acts like you would think a dog would talk and act, as does “Kevin” the bird. This is particularly nice touch. The climax of the movie, while standard fare, is extrmely well done. You have old man Carl, trying to give his life meaning before it is too late, battling the Col. Kurtz like Muntz with the bird, the dog and the kid tagging along for the ride on a blimp. Its not epic by any stretch of the means, and a bit of a let down from the first act, but this is Pixar we are talking about, and it all works perfectly fine. Lasseter is a huge Hayao Miyazaki fan and a homage to his animation and his style of mixing emotion and high flying fantasy is clearly seen in this movie. As for the 3-D, its not in your face, its subtle, and at times beautiful, but honestly, I could have done without it, as my eyes hurt a bit when it was all over. Up is a beautiful story, and while the second act is a bit lacking, the first 20 minutes of the movie are amongst the finest work Pixar has ever done and make it worth the price of admission. Go see it! -
Really, what's it good for? It makes movies that should be R into soft, cowardly sell-outs, and it makes kids' movies that should be PG into crude, low-brow adult comedies.Everyone's got their opinion, but I have particular disdain for former kids' properties being turned into broad, smutty joke fodder for grown-ups who never grew up.The result is trash that doesn't respect any of its audiences and which leaves a cheap, empty legacy.
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The hate most you spill on here is really boring. I seriously do love comments on Phantom Menace and Speed Racer... Holy shit man those movies are old news. I also get a hint of jealousy from the one's who call him "obese shit filled blah blah blah" and then go on to bash the web site... I believe this is because you hate the fact he has this site and gets money from it. Please if you're jealous just stop and go cry like a baby somewhere else. Oh and please hold your comments on movies until you see them! I for one will see this because I generally see a lot of movies and I like to form my own opinion not what an RT rating tells me to believe.
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His schtick comes off as trying too hard. Sometimes it's just painful to watch him. But I hope alla yall enjoy this movie!
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I stick up for Harry all the time, and I never attack him on a personal basis.
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You didn't walk out on Trek, you pathetic fanboy poseur, stop lying to seem cool, you douche!
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you need to review more films. Tthere are 3 out this weekend, and the only one you review is the one based on one of your childhood fav's.. This tb is way too negative on you personally. You have a credibility problem now because your book of reviews is way too small over the last year. The only remedy is to review EVERYTHING coming so your audience can get a better sampling of your work.
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Even Asimovlives didn't do that, and he hates Trek more than anyone.
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Look, the reason Harry gets so much shit from some of us is that he l-o-v-e-s some movies (Speed Racer, Twilight) and others he just HATES...and there is no ryme or reason to any of it. So if he is going to put up reviews, he is going to take the heat, that's life..if people want butterflies and song...go see another site..
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It's a free country. Go for it.
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But I didn't bring his shitstained undies or meat apron into it. See the diff?
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i also propose 'flesh diapers'
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last month when Harry said he would not pay to see Wolverine because of it's low fresh rating on RottenTomatoes. How quickly we forget.
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autoerotic asphyxiation than Harry.
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UP = DENNIS THE MENACE + DANNY DECKCHAIR + THE PIPSQUACK EPISODE OF TOM & JERRY + CONGO (EXCEPT TALKING DOG INSTEAD OF GORILLA)
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Thank you! :), and that autoerotic comment was WAY funny...
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Thanks bruh!
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...for sneaking into as the second feature of the day tomorrow. Pay to see The Hangover (early bird discount matinee, natch), then stroll on into whatever auditorium is playing this insta-flop and see if it's even tolerable to sit through for free.
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A young farmboy with no father figure dreams of better things. He meets an older man who knew his father which inspires him to fight the good fight. The cocky kid is kept in check by a sarcastic, world weary friend. The villians have a weapon which can destroy a planet and do so to a planet of their nemesis who is forced to watch.In the end, our hero single handedly flys into the enemy vehicle and is saved at the last moment by the appearance of a fellow heroes shipThey all get medals at the end. Did you guess correctly? Yes, it is of course Star...Trek?!!!
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there are less ushers and employees than ever, and none pay attention. not even like a decade ago when theaters were full of guys with a broom and nothing better to do than bust your balls- i was one. alsothey run films in a tighter schedule. i highly suggest you go see drag me to hell or the hangover this weekend and then-if you must see it- go stroll into LOTL for free.
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Concentrated orange juice or Marvel future projects, I forget the subject, but my HSX account is waiting.
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Following the breakdown of negotiations, two brave souls set out into the world to right a grave wrong, are befriended by a mentally retarded racial stereotype and a little boy, do a bunch of useless stuff, and someone feeling empty inside.It's my sister's trip to the abortion clinic last month.
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It is also uncannily similar to The Phantom Menace, which is also an abortion.
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Now that was a goddamned movie review... a smattering of the plot, mention of the cast's talent, an introduction to the characters we'll be meeting, and just a smidge of your own personal agenda going into the movie.
I don't mock Harry's bad spelling and grammar. I mock his lack of style, structure, and pseudo-objectivity. I am being serious when I say his writing reminds me of the shit I saw when I was working with sixth graders. This isn't to be mean, but to be accurate. It does. -
You're an idiot, dude. The "you're just jealous" card is one that is played by extremely immature people. That you're teaching high school is a bit disturbing, if that's the best defense you can come up with. You have no idea if people here are jealous of Harry or not--and I seriously doubt most are. He simply can't write, and people are calling him on it. You don't like it? Then take your own fucking device and leave.
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You're an idiot, dude. The "you're just jealous" card is one that is played by extremely immature people. That you're teaching high school is a bit disturbing, if that's the best defense you can come up with. You have no idea if people here are jealous of Harry or not--and I seriously doubt most are. He simply can't write, and people are calling him on it. You don't like it? Then take your own fucking advice and leave.
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Here's the whole piece. http://tinyurl.com/oh8xp2
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I ***never*** said it was okay because it was Harry's trademark style--you entirely put words in my mouth with that one. I was agreeing with you, not defending him. He DOES suck as a writer.
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I've been hearing about a Land Of The Lost film since the 80's. So here it is and as usual with 1970's properties, it's a spoof? That pisses me off. The original Land Of The Lost had light moments, but it was dark as ink. Very strange and disturbing at times. I'm taking my 7 year old to see it tomorrow but keeping my expectations LOW. At least the Sleestaks look dead-on.
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I need read no further, not interested.
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ironically, i think a friend of mine beat premiere in his own rant on why star trek was crap. here is his take.Darth Vader, err, Darth Maul - umm, I mean Nero - has this huge, gigantic awesome Death Star - err, I mean Mining Ship, that can destroy entire planets. So Nero blows up Alderaan - umm, I mean Vulcan, killing Princess Leia's father - I mean, Spock's mother. And then the Death Star homes in on the Rebel Base - Umm, I mean the mining ship homes in on Starfleet headquarters, and only Luke Skywalker can stop it by ignoring orders and turning off his targeting computer and trusting the Force - no, I mean only Jim Kirk can stop it by ignoring Starfleet's orders and trusting his instincts. It's a good thing Old Ben Kenobi was there to give Kirk that fatherly advice earlier - no, wait, that was Captain Pike.
And then they had a big old celebration, and Luke and Han got medals - err, I mean, Jim Kirk got a medal and was made captain.
This movie was terrible.
The sad thing, I was actually loving it, totally suckered in, emotionally caught up in the film, and then it just got really stupid.
The movie totally lost me when Spock threw Jim Kirk off of his ship and made him go down to the Ice Planet of Hoth. Why would Spock do that? Why would ANY Starfleet officer abandon one of their own on a frozen planet full of deadly Wampas during the middle of an interstellar war - err, interstellar terrorist event?
Spock should have been court-martialed for that. No commanding officer in any military organization would ever do that, anywhere, any time, for any reason.
Luckily, the evil tattoo-faced bad guy, Darth Maul - umm, Nero, did THE EXACT SAME THING to his sworn enemy, Old Spock, who showed up just in time to save Kirk, which was really lucky, because Kirk didn't have his lightsaber handy to cut off the snow-monster's arm.
So Spock and Nero are morally equivalent with each other, both banishing their enemies to a frozen wasteland. How symmetrical.
Thankfully, this happens to be the exact same planet that Montegomery "Scotty" Scot was also unfairly banished to! What a lucky coincidence!
Old Spock knew Kirk and Scotty in the future! And in the future, Scotty figured out a way to magically beam onto a ship moving faster than the speed of light half a galaxy away! And Old Spock remembers how he did it! Yay! Magic!
Now, smart people would have used this trick to beam the bad guys off of their own ship, and into the vacuum of space, where they would have died, and Earth would have been saved.
This movie is not about smart people.
The villain is a coal miner from the future. He hates Spock because Spock tried to save his homeworld from destruction. So it's Spock's fault? Why? Because Spock got there too late - did Spock stop off for some fast food or something? Why is it Spock's fault?
I mean, if I my planet were destroyed, and I got sucked a hundred years into the past, I would warn my planet, so they could start evacuating. I would use my enormous mining ship to start ferrying off the billions of refugees to a nice safe planet, not go around the galaxy destroying all of the most habitable worlds.
It's not just Nero who is mentally challenged, though. Old Spock needs only a few drops of "Red Matter" to turn a supernova into a black hole - but he's got like fifty gallons of it on board his ship. Why? Is that smart? Is that safe? What if a bunch of terrorists were able to get hold of all that Red Matter by capturing your puny little vessel? Duh! I think Old Spock is a bit senile.
Let's face it. Most of the Star Trek movies have sucked. And sadly, so does this one. -
premiere did theirs yesterday.
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Those fucking brooms. I worked at a theatre and one that had the biggest screen in town and you walked down this long descending ramp. We would skateboard down that. We literally did that during Gleaming the Cube once. made a big circle around the auditorium in front of the screen. All two people found it amusing. But we let people in for free all the time.
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What I do is download pictures of musclestuds from websites, then open them up, then increase the size until they're roughly life-size, then scroll down to their abs, then touch the screen and imagine I'm touching their rock-hard abs. I love musclestuds. DO YOU HEAR ME? I LOVE MUSCLESTUDS! BRING ON THE MUSCLESTUDS! I AM DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD AND I AM ALL ABOUT THE MUSCLESTUDS!
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But the one in this looks cartoony. But, that's the tone of the movie. It's a fantasy.
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Look "liberal" and "conservative" up in the dictionary. Those words mean more than just "Democrat" and "Republican". Hell, even those words have more than one meaning, depending on what era you're referring to.
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this proves that fat fuck has zero credibility, saw this movie with the remote possibility it wouldn't be total shit, and of course it was everything i thought it would be and worse. no story to speak off and horrible acting, now if that fat waste of life didn't go out of his fat way to bash terminator salvation which wasn't great but not the abortion harry made it out to be then i wouldn't be so irate about his review off this shit pile. them an his a whore for who ever gives him free screenings and greases his fat man pussy
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Harry's Caveman reference brough on the memories...
I am looking forward to taking my kids to the Land Of The Lost! -
Although I liked it, I wouldn't call Star Trek "intelligent", so I agree with you on that front. But what the hell was intelligent about Salvation? That movie was nothing but a series of explosions and gunfire. The plot felt forced, and all of the actors, including and especially Bale, seemed bored out of their wits. At least Star Trek had good acting, characters you actually gave a damn about (helped by the good acting, of course), a coherent plot, and humor.
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Read my "UP" review on this thread. That is how you write a review. No bullshit, no bloviating, just an honest to goodness review. While I am still unemployed and have TIME ON MY HANDS, I will review movies for you, for free of course, just for the pure pleasure of doing it. I will provide no bullshit, and the loyal readers of this site will thank you for it. Im not sure if its appropriate to put email addresses on here, but if someone is interested in using me from this site or any other site, please let me know. Sorry for the marketing ploy, but I am out of work. Plus, I AM benlinus, Im a sneaky sonofabitch.....
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Not Cha Ka?
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i was gonna go to the theater but fuck that
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cause thats going to piss me off since we couldn't get a yippe ky yay motherfucker in diehard 4.
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Did not bring the funny, and I normally love Will Farrell. GARBAGE!
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Everything about this movie reeks to high heaven.
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It's kind of like Doctor Who meets Lost meets Giligan's Island...one good episode followed by a really bad one...
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In fact, it feels MADE for it
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you were 'suprised or disconcerted' by the film? I guess that could be. but your use reminds me of when a friend told me to have a 'restive' weekend...when she meant 'restful'
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Harrys reviews suck! sniffle sniffle....... long pause.... Pulitzer prize winning whining ensues. the Grammar is bad, check spelling wah!!!!!!! You cox are sort of snobs. Did you finish college and get your degrees. Oh good for you! High almighty prix. Go ahead and spell check what i wrote you douche balls. The site is entertaining. That is its purpose. Good day sirs
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Persistantly, agressively bad. A multi-million dollar product of pure raging nonsense. Land of the Lost is a very important film, however. You must see Land of the Lost, just as photographs of the horrors of Auschwitz must be seen in order for humanity to learn from its mistakes. Land of the Lost is tragically significant reminder of how not to make a movie.
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Your reply to RipperGiles was pure Gold!!!It's why I visit this site.That and spiceybiscuit!
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Jun 05, 2009 8:05:20 PM CDT
Nah, I'll pass this movie is TOA. Turd On Arrival.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
I grew up watching Land Of The Lost too and honestly this movie and the direction they took with it is total shit. They should have done a serious movie and really explored the whole Sleestak and Pylon mythos making a griping adventure that offered up true terror. Instead we get this turd of a comedy with the non funny Will "I play the same role in every movie" Ferrel. He's turned into Chevy Chase.
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Been watching the marathon and just wondering why I watched this show back in the day. God, I watched some stupid crap.
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I went to see The Hangover tonight at 7 pm in my local theater. The house was absolutely packed with a line out the door. I'd say for every three people in line for The Hangover, one was in line for LAND OF THE LOST.
Hangover was absolutely fucking hilarious. A raunchy HARD R in every sense of the word.
I predict this film will beat LAND OF THE LOST for second place this weekend while UP remains at Number 1. -
Wow...and I thought the people on this site couldn't act any dumber. Thanks for proving me wrong.
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You nailed that bitch. Aside from unabashedly ripping off STAR WARS, you have the crystal-clear shark jump of three jaw dropping coincidences in a row (Kirk dumped on ice planet, OldSpock dumped on ice planet, Scotty exiled to ice planet). And critics are still jizzing their pants over this thing?
Two theories over its massive, hugely undeserved critical success: Paramount scientifically targeted the most influential critics to give goodies too, and/or critics don't know shit and really don't care for genre flicks. So as long as their ass cheeks aren't fidgeting in the theater seat, they're happy. -
None at all. Go watch Giant Robots instead in any venue. You'll be glad you did, and thank me.
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I'm just watching the old show now and it's a completely different animal. That show took itself seriously and was inadvertently funny but this is just plain old silly. But silly is good. I kinda wish that they'd taken Bobb'e J. Thompson with them instead of Danny McBride. I don't really think he's funny but that kid is hilarious. That's a missed opportunity right there. Otherwise it was fine. Nothing magical but nothing awful.
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-It really is a wonder how you can go from watching Speedbuggy in '73, wearing nothing but yer sleepers and sitting on the clothes hamper in the living room, and then watching this while sitting on a box of Cheetos in Austin and phoning Cokey for his latest 8 inch miniature Vinny Barbarino doll. You know I saw this movie while fingering my Goose Goslin(TM) Upper Deck(TM) Hall of Famer Card(TM), chowing down on Glossets(TM) and talking on my Jessica Biel embossed I-Fone(TM), the one w/ the spandex buttons. Sorry that made me sound like Tim McCarver and Jack Buck doing a Fox baseball game but w/ shades of Hollywood instead of MLB. Lemme try it this way: Hooooooollly fuckaKNOWLEEEEEEE I got back from Yoko's house of Rutabega PLants, sat down at my 44 foot wide flat-screen and watched me 44 episodes of Land of the Lost! Downed 14 pitcher's of Beck's and then we wound up at the Alamo Draft Howse(TM), where Quint and Mysterio and Joe Hollenbeck and Uncapie and Minor-Jeff all served me w/ royalty warrants--
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And everything to ever grace TV and film is the most special thing to him ever. Fuck you.
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No explanation. Just loved the hell outta this flick.
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what a lousy fucking excuse for a movie. A trainwreck. For all the talk of hollywood "raping people's childhood", this one comes closer to that than Lucas ever managed. The sheer potential in a serious LOTL movie was lost, tossed aside for adolescent poop jokes, endless Will Ferrell/Danny McBride "I love you maaaaaan" stoner sequences, and general halfassery. This was the one Krofft show that could be made into a real, kickass action film (whatever the execution, acting and effects were like, the ideas were phenomenal for their time and placement). Instead it's an excuse for the kind of gags Larry the Cable Guy would reject from one of his movies.
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I do remember that, at the time, it was perhaps the only science fiction show on TV and there were some big name writers who worked on it. There was some heady stuff going on on saturday mornings. I recall an episode where Marshall, Will, and Holly went up on a hill and looked through binoculars at the backs of themselves looking through binoculars at the backs of themselves.
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just a heads up...
stop.
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... seriously dudes, these are movies meant for children. I mean... if I had a kid I'd suck it up force myself to watch it. But a grown man going to see this with a buddy or by himself? Really fucken weird.
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just curious.
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It just looks boring. I don't want to see an old man flying around. It's dumb. It's basically that other cartoon movie where the kids get caught in the haunted house.
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Check it out: http://bit.ly/bZm0r
And please vote for us.
And in a world this friggin' dramatic, I'll take a dumb Will Ferrell comedy any day of the week! -
Jun 06, 2009 2:01:08 AM CDT
Open Letter To The Studio: Land Of The Lost Only 7 Mil On Friday
by media messiah
You don't mess with people's childhoods, or the nostalgia from them, that is just disrespectful, and plain mean! This film, if it had to be made, and trust me, I wasn't against it, should have been made as a faithful rendition of the original show, something I could, and would have, supported. Instead, the material was vastly changed so that you could steal the authorship? How foolish and greedy is that??? You have successfully offended and alienated the audience of the original show, who might have taken their children and nieces and nephews to enjoy the film with them...in order to share in the nostalgia of their past childhood. This would have been an opportunity for a family outing at the movies, and the requisite bonding it provides, but no, you destroyed that opportunity, the reason why your film version of Land Of The Lost only grossed 7 million dollars on Friday! Your strategy was just ill thinking at best...and at worse, executive incompetence.You at the studio had no respect for the original material, the reason why I have refused to see this mess-- it has no relation to the original show, save for a few spot characters, and loosely so--other than that, nothing has been retained from the original story arcs, which although created of a underfunded Saturday morning children's show, it actually began to build a wonderful heartfelt, and clever genre story about family, struggle, and bonding of that family, The Swiss Family Robinson in the age of the Dinosaurs. You destroyed that by turning this into a slapstick comedy, one with no integrity or any real fluid connection with the original? Who asked for this? What fans of this show asked for this? What audience anywhere asked for this? Nobody, that is who.There was no market for such tripe, but you tried to stuff it down our collective throats anyway? You would green-lit this embarrassing mess, for such high costs, and refuse to give us sequels to Serenity, or to green-light Joss Whedon's Goners? Some of you executives really need to go back to school, as you sincerely don't know what you are doing. You can begin by going to film school...followed by enrolling in a good business school because you seriously missed something crucial while you were attending the latter, like developing good common sense, knowing your demographic, and developing good critical thinking skills!!!
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Who cares about this film. Hangover is the best comedy in ages.
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I am glad Harry wrote an honest review on the film. The entire audience at the Austin, TX screening seemed to enjoy it. I'm sure very few people LOVED it but it was still an entertaining blast. People need to give this film a chance before they write it off. It's quirky and fun. I really enjoy movies like that. And to whoever said Speed Racer sucks - as I'm sure several of you have also said before - Why do you think so? Because I thought it was amazing, and agree with Harry's review on it.
Anyway, I think I'm actually going to go see this a second time this weekend. It should be fun. -
the need to point out the shortcomings of the original. Aspects of it were cheesy? Noooooo! Really?!?
That doesn't mean that the basic mythos of TLOTL, and it's setting fully realized, couldn't make for a scary, thrilling, science-fantasy adventure movie. -
Land of the Lost Is another fucking horrible movie in this years underwhelming line of pure unadulterated horseshit remakes, sequels, prequels, re-imaginings and every other worthless piece of shit movie out now Terminator Salvation was cold boring heartless and FUCKING AMATEUR !.... for fucks sakes.....Star Trek is an overrated, over hyped, dog shit, mongoloid, ape ass raping, fannybandit, of a movie. Paramount is the new FOX. Speaking of FOX Wolverine was so terrible it made little baby hamsters cry all over the world for days on end. The way Fox handle that movie....sodomized my mind and is all most as bad as not having the squid in Watchmen.
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Up, Drag me to hell, and Star Trek ..and they all suck BAD
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I saw The Hangover instead.
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Better than Angels and Demons that's for sure. Can't imagine paying to see Land of the Lost though, it just looks like shit.
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Youre kidding right? What the fuck now we have plants on the tallbacks? I guess since youre in Austin, youre what? Harry's cousin? Harry himself? Yoko? Harrys pizza delivery/man servant. Dude, this movie is getting some of the WORST reviews Ive read in recent memory.
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....from this!?!?!?!?
Lanf Of The Lost + Will Ferrel can in no way, whatsoever = "taken aback" The releavance of this review ended for me right there.
Plus the fact that I saw it and it was utter garbage. -
While you are entitled to youre opinions, you suck and are wrong. UP is a great fucking movie as is most Pixar flicks. Sure, I hear ya, I wouldnt go myself or with the wife. But Im glad I went. The second 1/2 was a bit of the standard fare, but for those who didnt get a bit ver klempf during the first 10 minutes, you have no fucking soul and should hang yourself from your balls in Thailand....
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Just a heads up.......fuck off.......
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Its getting good reviews. This LOTL review will be one of those Harry reviews, where in 5 years we will say: "yeah, but Harry liked LOTL!"
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I have yet to see a good Will Farell movie. I thought he was stupid on SNL and his presence in every film is like finger nails on a chalk board. I still don't understand why this man could fart for 2 hours and the masses would blindly pay $10 for it. I liked the original Land of the Lost show and for all its shortcomings of budget and trying to appeal to children, it wasn't a bad show. The fact that the original show was a serious drama (I just rewatched the marathon on sci-fi and it wasn't a slapstick comedy) and that Farell is making fun of the show and turning it into a slapstick comedy is really insulting. What is he going to do next...a slapstick of Hill Street Blues? Will someone put a bullet in this man's head already?
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Thomas Magnum: Will Ferral
Rick: Andy Samberg
TC: Tracey Morgan
Higgins: Paul Giamati
then I can OFFICIALY put the rope around my dick and end it all.....jesus Hollywood, remember the 70's? Serpico, Dog Day, Mean Streets, Chinatown, AND ON AND ON AND ON.....man what the fuck is happening..... -
That's what you get when you put out a piece of crap, Silberling!
17 million friday for The Hangover. Well deserved. -
Jun 06, 2009 11:06:00 AM CDT
June won't have a super blockbuster until Transformers 2
by soylentmean
That movie will most likely be the movie to beat in terms of box office numbers and I'd expect that to get pretty close to $400 million domestically alone. It's the only movie (other than Harry Potter 6) that has the built in fanbase and the desire to see what more can be brought to the franchise. However, most movies that make a modest to even successful mark on the theater box office end up making profits with DVD sales, television rights, and other things along those lines.
This summer really doesn't have too much in the "must see at the theater" category. Most folks right now are more interested in getting the biggest bang for their buck, so the spectacle films should do well. The rest, the smaller films, well those are going to have to wait until they hit the home video format.
Hopefully we'll get some really good fall awards bait films. -
I can't take your reviews seriously anymore.
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1. Nobody who gets laid on a regular basis cares about tihs old show. 2. T-Rex is not impressive anymore.3. Big budget comedies really rarely work. We want funny not action.
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Jun 06, 2009 11:29:30 AM CDT
Its like Harrys brain turned on for T4..then shut off again.
by knowthyself
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I've been reading Harry's reviews for years and have seen the considerable decline. Its gotten to the point where he truly thinks its all about him, and that is always the time to either wake up or walk away, Harry. Let me put it to you straight, the majority of us don't come here for you. We don't care about your upbringing, your wife, or what shows floated your boat when you were L'il Harry. It's a sci-fi site so it is taken for granted that you liked the genre classics, adding homilies does not lend either gravitas or perspective. If you cant start posting more succinct reviews and realize that breaking news and talkbacks are why we are here, then you are going to experience a dwindling amount of hits to your site, which means you can start kissing your advertising revenue good-bye. And as for the talkbacks? For the love of God, would you give us what we've been screaming about for years? A more intuitive board where you don't have to rack your brains trying to remember what was the fucking code for paragraph breaks!
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Jun 06, 2009 12:33:58 PM CDT
LOTL should get Sc-Fi's battle star galacta Revamp treatment
by paulyd30
I agree with Media Messiah . First of all I saw the orginal 1974' on TV and it was amazing for it's time. I really think the studio missed their opertunity to do the LOTL right. If it was a more serious sci-fi weekly TV show as the "Lost" or Smallville series it would work so much better. Mocking the Orginal making this a comdedy really did not work. The special effects were good but the movie didnt have the weight or Soul as did the orginal. Maybe the sci-fi channel could give this "Battle Star galactica" re-vamp treatment. LOTL is agrrewat story and should be respected. Now that would be amazing !!!
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Jun 06, 2009 12:34:00 PM CDT
LOTL should get Sc-Fi's battle star galacta Revamp treatment
by paulyd30
I agree with Media Messiah . First of all I saw the orginal 1974' on TV and it was amazing for it's time. I really think the studio missed their opertunity to do the LOTL right. If it was a more serious sci-fi weekly TV show as the "Lost" or Smallville series it would work so much better. Mocking the Orginal making this a comdedy really did not work. The special effects were good but the movie didnt have the weight or Soul as did the orginal. Maybe the sci-fi channel could give this "Battle Star galactica" re-vamp treatment. LOTL is agrrewat story and should be respected. Now that would be amazing !!!
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Seriously the guy is Mike Myers and Jack Black when it comes to movies. Just plain boring, bland, and not funny!
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Jun 06, 2009 1:31:21 PM CDT
Next person to whine about a movie raping their childhood
by anything but tangerines
gets a coupon for 10% off at a psychiatrist of their choice. get a life or a box of pills you sad, sad individuals.
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Harry... You're absolutely entitled to your opinion but --- uhm.... yeah....
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I can't believe the pain.
If you're interested in Land of the Lost, you might want to visit my fan site with coverage of both versions of the TV series.
http://personal.linkline.com/enik1138/ -
my sis grew up on the show and talked me into going today....i had watched the marathon to get psyched up for the movie.and as critical and picky as i can get, it wasn't that bad....really. it was ..gasp...kind of fun.i'm glad i didn't pay to see it...but i can say it is going to be one of those things that when it's on tv, you'll stop and watch it- just like austin powers, talledega nights, etc...will's usual antics are pretty low-key, to be honest. his 'know it all' attitude gets more screen time than his buffoon act. as i hoped, i caught a lot more small nods to the subtleties of the series than most of the people around me who, by their age, had probably never seen the series either- unless it was during the marathon. what sucks is, i actually want to revisit the world they created, and it's unfortunate the 'pop culture graveyard' and surrounding desert locals are kind of wasted on this movie. the setwork is amazing, even when you know it's on a soundstage, the sets are impressive and cartoony at the same time. then they turn a corner and have some really attractive wide desert shots, with well recreated landmarks, cars and other props half buried in the salt sands. the scene with the giant crab was amazing and all too short. the gunshot-like snaps of the claws sounded great in my theater, and was a pretty innovative and intimidating way to show the scale of the crab....then it falls into the boiling water under the salt crust of the desert...and yeah, the result is as funny as others have said. there are a couple of jokes that repeat for intended effect and fall flat...and some of the things that were merely supposed to be quaint where the funniest to me.
i'll eat my words and i'm sure get flamed, but- it's worth seeing. see it on cable or netflix it. the sets are beautiful but there really isn't a reason to see them on the big screen. i'll tell you what harry is being paid not to: it wasn't great, but it was entertaining for the most part. i guess the biggest complaint is that they could have done so much more with the premise...that and my sis was upset that ZARN (her favorite 'Q'-like character from the series) is reduced to like, a sleestak lawman...not a mysterious being.and the ending, where will decides to stay behind and like with cha-ka's people...well, let's just say i envied him. the Paku women are hideous my paku standards, but of course, that means they are hot brunettes....i'd actually like to see a sequel, but i wouldn't pay $10 to see it either. -
god damn, i actually wrote like two more paragraphs. this site and the html glitches are amazing. great job guys. fuck. never mind, i can't type all that again. jesus.
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the sets and locations were great. the pop culture graveyard was well done. the giant crab scene was all too short- but the sounds were used to great effect. the snapping claws sounded like gunshots, and gave good scale to the beast. i want another movie done in this world...yeah, even if it is a sequel with jack black as an 'uncle jack' character. overall i think they could have done a lot better with such an open ended universe. i think they threw in enough icons and references to the show- holly's outfit, will's vest, the banjo song with scream at the appropriate time, etc... my sister was upset that they made the eenich(?) sleestak the baddy while on the show he was merely selfishly neutral, and the movie relegates her favorite character, ZARN, who on the show was a faceless 'Q' like trickster entity, into being nothing more than a sleestak law man or something.and should i give the ending away? not the after the credits ending, that was the typical 'egg-breaking = sequel" ending, no i mean the fate of will (danny) who decides to stay behind and be worshipped by the hideous Paku women. it makes me want to stay behind too. well, sorry i had to paraphrase and i'm sure i left a lot out from my first draft. long story short, it was enjoyable. perhaps because i had overdosed on the series this week. the sets effects and locations were great. will ferrell was secondary to danny mcbride, as far as i was concerned. once he appeared, it was his game. i actually wouldn't mind seeing a sequel if he's in it,as the new cocky king of the land of the lost...do i suggest you pay full ticket price for this? no. but it is worth a netflix rental in a few months. seriously, and this is coming from a guy who hates everything. there are a lot worse movies out right now to bitch about.
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Just got home from watching this film. The nicest thing I can say is that this is like the most expensive SNL sketch ever made. This what a fuck up. I don't think I have the patience to explain why. It cost $15 to watch, so, no big deal, but I don't think I'll watch it ever again. The only good thing in this film is the boobs and ass on the girls at the end and the scenes already in the trailers. It's pretty. Bad writing. The girl from the tv show was really cool... even if her lines sucked. And that's it. I will repeat that the tits and ass on the girls at the end were nice. That's the best part of the film.
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There are about a trillion other web-sites to go to if one doesn't like it here. Harry is quite successful at creating a destination for fans to talk and debate with each other .. the 'quality' of his review is not that relevant, except to the extent that it achieves that aim. He is giving fellow fans an opening to post their own reviews without defering to his .. he invites you to consider his review simply the first post among equals .. you won't find Rex Reed doing that. But if you waste your opportunity by simply bashing the first post (i.e. Harry's) then you really should be spending your time at Rex's site.
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It's got to be 'Tusk'.
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...because these aren't reviews. He's an overgrown underdeveloped 14 year old and either spooges all over a film or craps all over it based very little upon the film itself, but instead upon his messed-up childhood.
Go read his "review" of T4, then come back and read this. -
That would probably be "Rumours" for me, but I very much enjoy "Tusk" and most everything else they've done. Great band.
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Harry sets himself up to be bashed. He has several times claimed to be a journalist, which clearly he's not. Journalists know how to punctuate, form coherent sentences and stick to the point while reporting. Since Harry knows nothing about any of these concepts, and since he's often made an ass of himself with his inconsistent and hypocritical policies regarding this site, people rightfully cal him on it. It's as simple as that. You'll see some troglodytes claiming people bash him out of jealousy, but that's completely off the mark.
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I'm looking for a spoiler here, so if you answer my question, please put *SPOILER!!!!* in your response title so nobody has the film ruined for them. Anyway, I'm just curious -- what's the outcome of the constant back-and-forth between Ferrell and the t-rex? It seems intelligent and bent on making his life hell, which was about the only amusing thing I saw in the trailers. Do they wind up herding sheep in Wyoming and enjoy the love that dare not speak its name?
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let's just say it's sort of a thorn in the lion's paw situation. Marshall somehow or other...um...helps out the T-Rex inadvertantly and then the Rex is all chummy and licky with him. it's a little hard to swallow...no pun intended. marshall does get eaten, btw...and then suddenly he's out, okay and in charge of grumpy. use your imagination in between.
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but I can't get past the part where Harry bashes McG for the story even though he didnt write it.
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I actually kinda thought things would work out something like you described. Curiousity = sated.
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I read that over at ComingSoon.net and well folks, that's a movie I'm really looking forward to.
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....AND 20 FUCKING PARAGRAPHS ABOUT HOW HARRY WAS OFFERED A JOB AS SPIESHSBURG'S FLUFFER, OR SOME STORY ABOUT HOW AWESOME HIS CHILDHOOD WAS GROWING UP WITH COMMIE PINKO HIPPY PARENTS, OR HOW HE WAS FLOWN FIRST CLASS TO A SHOOT IN BALI AND HAPPILY SUCKED OFF BRYAN SINGER OR ........ FFS.
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FEEL THE EMOTION, UNDERSTAND THE MOCKERY!
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now I might have seen a few naked ladies in movies when I was a kid, but you couldn't of payed my parents to let me watch straight up porn
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definitely not a great movie, but it was funny and had fun visuals, plus it was fun watching the marathon of LOTL episodes today in preparation!
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I think most of you guys take this shit waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously, whatever happened to having fun at the movies?
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If you get high in your car outside the theater, you will love this movie. When Will Ferrell slid down the T-Rex's tail I laughed the popcorn out of my mouth.
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Land of the Lost's Alamo screenjng, i knew from that day that the dumb-headed and cock-sucking(of studio's those give Harry some money or other tiny facilities)Harry would give the god-awful film good review.
Have you any self-respect, Harry ? You are a shame for the total human race. -
It had to be said.
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ass raped cocksuckers in here that can suck my fat bloated dick. Star Trek was fucking awesome, and they can't handle it because their shit dreams were clinging to shit genre films that fucking BOMBED. Fuck you four turd boys. Star Trek kicked your ass and to the lying mother fucker up there that said he walked out of Trek, bitch, I'll video tape your ass purchasing the Blue-Ray and auto-regurgitating to Zachary Quintos fake earlobes. You sour pussy pizza garbage breath smelling cunt roaches.
Hey Shitbag old friend, there's too much smack being spoketh in this talkback, why don't you pounce on some Ponce you friendly neighborhood fuck fest. -
make it crystal clear to you so that there can be no mis-understanding.
Star Trek is to epic, as Bale is to lights = Highly fucking professional. For those that say otherwise, you may kindly burn and rot in the deepest recesses of Hells bowels. -
And I am a long time fan of the series. I loved the movie. At least it wasn't 2 hours of speeches, and stupid issues. If I wanted issues and no sci fi, I would watch Voyager.
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Your kidding, right? Come on. Just because I liked a movie most people have hated? I'm a fan of the actors involved, the director (Brad Silberling - who made Moonlight Mile, 10 Items or Less, and the Lemony Snicket film), and the composer (Michael Giacchino - who is one of the best composers around and should be receiving awards nominations this year for his work on Lost, Star Trek, and Up) - what's so hard to believe about me actually liking this film? And, yes, today I went to see it again. I actually went to see Star Trek, then Land of the Lost, then Up. It was my once in a lifetime opportunity for a Michael Giacchino triple-feature marathon in the movie theater. I doubt I'll ever get that kind of opportunity again. I don't live in Austin yet. I'll be moving there though in about a year and I hope to attend more of these AICN events. The Land of the Lost screening was a total blast and Harry's review of this was entirely truthful. Even if critic's DON'T like this movie - which in general they clearly don't - this has still received a WAY too harsh critical bashing. This movie deserves better, and people should actually give it a chance and go see it.
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"Land of the Lost" is quite seriously perhaps the worst movie I've ever seen. It works on no level. It's not just "uneven" or "broad," it just is lazy, uninspired, lowest-common-denominator sort of moviemaking, one where the studio/producers hope to get a lot of money opening weekend because they know there will be no repeat-viewing $. Your reviews are worthless because you have no objectivity: you like literally everything you see.
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A guy like you should have seen it by now.
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-and he likes EVERYTHING, save for Terminator Fore and Big Robots Hitting Each Other I. Hmmmm.
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Land of the Lost is the worst movie you've ever seen? What are you twelve?
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This was a wasted opportunity. I honestly thought the director of Lemony Snicket's had more class, instead he signs up directing this piece of trash. I'm no prude, but this movie in the form they brought it to screen was not appropriate for children, make no mistake it was marketed as such. Sid and Marty Krofft deserved this train wreck by allowing it to be made into a hollow comedy with cha-ka feeling up holly and marshall getting dumped on by a dino.
Many of you may laugh at the TV show, but strip it down to the core mythos and it could have been a fantastic movie of mystery and adventure.
I would love to know the writer who wrote this trashy line.
"Dude, I think that Sleestak is getting ready to tap dat ass" "Yep, he gonna tap dat ass alright"
Sid and Marty you let many fans down and ruined LOTL as a franchise. -
i knew this movie would stink. ferrrel is just not funny. a film career cannot be built on a sole cowbell skit.
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It's like you all actively determine to not have any fun at the movies, ever. I pity you all.
And then I laugh at the sadness. -
did anyone really think fat fuck harry would give this shit bomb anything other then a stellar review, the movie has been advertised on here for a while now and the little animation should tip you off that harry was going to "love" this piece of abortion matter. i will say it again harry has no soul and will give a good review to any studio or person who greases his fat asshole, he's a joke he will never give an objective review to any of his "showbiz" pals no matter how shitty their films are.
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Where's the review?
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...bites the boxoffice dust...
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He's never been at the forefront of any advertisements or film before, he's just always slipped in. Therefore, it's his fault this movie is Farrell's first and true bomb. Remember it, and remember it well - DANNY MCBRIDE SUCKS!
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Land of the Lost earned a dismal C+ CinemaScore average; audiences 35 to 49, ostensibly the age group that would best remember the original 1970s kids TV series on which the film is based, gave it a D+.
Terrible Cinemascore grades! -
At least we'll be spared the inevitable "Hey, Puf, what's that smoke?" "Hey Jack, can I play with your flute?" "Witchy-Poo is now Bitchy-Doo!" Ad nauseum. LOTL is what happens when supremely mediocre infantile minds in Hollywood put their brain wattage together in cynical, smirking self-satisfaction. And audiences responded by staying away in droves. I still have hope.
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update on the weekends. now it seems like they just say fuck it and take the whole weekend off while other sites update with breaking stories and reviews.
hm. -
It's impossible to have fun at the movies anymore. Why? Because we can get far more worthwhile, entertaining material by wiping our asses after we take a big greasy shit than we get at the theater.
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When one is so taken aback by a cinematic masterpiece, one is incapable of thinking of anything else.
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you're right - this is a destination for fans to come and offer differing opinions. But when the majority of the fans are upset not by a lousy, unwatchable movie but by the poorly written, woefully organized, illiterate brainfart, then maybe it's time to consider putting on the big boy pants and write like the journalist he is. And yes, he IS a journalist. Studios don't give exclusive premieres, set visits, and free swag go Average Joe's with a website. They give these things to journalists.
Honestly, he's welcome to his opinion about "Land of the Lost". Different strokes for different folks. My beef is making a livelihood from posting reviews that are often times worse than the movies. -
Is what Harry lacks.
I didn't agree with famous Brit film reviewer Halliwell's opinions on many movies - but the guy was consistent and to the point, unlike Harry. -
This movie was pretty good, but only if you like Will Ferrell. It's classic Ferrell humor, within the Land of the Lost universe. Lots of ridiculous moments that were hysterical. Just like Harry said, it isn't a great movie, but it's not terrible. It's definitely not Will Ferrell's worse movie. That I would give to either Semi-Pro or Step Brothers. Now those were awful movies. He needs to run far away from R rated movies, and stick to PG-13, and this is a perfect example.
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To me Step Brothers was his comeback. That movie is funny as fuck. "The fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!"
Will Ferrel has a few early movies pre-roxybury that weren't the great like the one with Jennifer Love Hewitt where she trys to have his former one hit wonder band make a comeback. Anyone Remember that one?
Land of the Lost did stick to the generic formula and was predictable but I think it was meant to be fun not art and it was very fun. -
It just tries to be way too many things at once. It tries to be a sci-fi adventure flick with kid humor/adult humor/that judd apatow type humor with long scenes of just odd dialogue that is either a huge hit or a huge miss. In this case it was a miss. I wish they just went retro with it or almost play it straight with winks all the way through. I mean Will Ferrell "fist bumps" a fucking T-Rex... Fuck this movie.
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I was waiting .for some crazy visuals
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certainly the low points of the movie, and too bad that so many came so close together as it neared the end
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Jun 07, 2009 8:47:15 PM CDT
I Wonder if Sony is Trying to Stop Payment on the HR Pufnstuf Ch
by nexxus7
Whatever lame brain tried to get the jump on tying up another Kroft property is probably dreading going into the office tomorrow. Thank god it now has a .0000001% chance of ever getting made. At least LoTL conceivably had a storyline, which by all accounts seemed to have been disregarded for 90 minutes of Will Farrell who is this generation's Chevy Chase (neither of whom I have found particularly funny, but managed to be in a ton of mid-performing movies). I do remember that series as a kid. I didn't particularly care for it, but when you've got a choice of three channels, you find yourself watching it from time to time. I do remember that is played out as a caring father of two kids, trying to both explore the strange world and get back home. I of course remember the sleestacks, an evolved talking sleestack (don't remember if he was good or evil), Chaka, glowing gems, temples, and some wacky stuff. This was apparently replaced with grandstanding Farrell, a hot babe, and some other comedian and big budget special effects. I'm sure an entertaining family movie could have been made using the basic dynamics of the original. But as soon as Farrell was cast, that possibility went completely out the window. He does not do the concerned serious father. He does Will Farrell (I don't blame him, it earns him millions a year so more power to him as an actor). Too bad the studio suits don't ever seem to have to answer for stupid decisions like this. I guess the Bugaloos can put away their wings too.
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Will Ferrell's first and true bomb?
Kicking and Screaming & Bewitched ring a bell for you? -
I was born when Land Of The Lost was on television, so I don't have the nostalgic fuzzy feelings for this movie. Looks like a kiddie movie to me. Which is okay, but not for me.
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Jun 07, 2009 11:23:28 PM CDT
19 million opening weekend and a $100 million dollar budget?
by hateuall
somebody's ass is getting fired at Universal tomorrow. "snicker"
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Did we really need an Anchorman with dinosaurs?
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Get to the point Harold
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Here is where the argument for new and original material -- and fewer remakes/reboots -- makes perfect sense.
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...in the vein and manner of TRANSFORMERS would have probably made it a success. If they try it again, they should do it that mode.Just because the show was hokey doesn't mean the movie should be a comedy -- consider all that's been done with Batman.
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How in the world can Harry not have watched this film this weekend knowing that this is one of those films you need to watch with an opening weekend crowd that hasn't had the film spoiled for them by friends who have seen and are pushing for them to go see this film? If Harry has seen the Hangover, where's the review? It's the best comedy and biggest surprise breakout hit since The 40 Year Old Virgin. I'm waiting for the Harry take on this film. Where is it?!
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Unless it has 1) that really smart Sleestak that wears a sequined robe and communicates with the humans and tries to help them 2) Will Ferrell makes it back home halfway through the film only to be replaced by another friend or relative at the exact same time coming through from the other side of the dimensional gateway. Could be Mike Myers or Rob Schneider, they need the work.
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people loosing there jobs is funny, I'm the real idiot for even posting here occasionally
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of the itme i was an usher at a movie theatre when the 1st ace ventura movie came out. everyday we would watch as familys would take their kids into that movie and then we would count how fast they would come sprinting out after the bj scene some how appaled because they ignored the ratings...it was very funny
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I missed the two screenings that happened in town due to conflicts. One was work related, the other was a friend's film that he invited me to see - a very indie thing. He wanted my opinion, which sadly wasn't very strong.
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I let alot of things ride with this movie but the Enik and Zarn things are total bullshit. Im glad this thing burned. I dont blame Will Farrel for this either I blame Sid and Marty. They raped this thing like Lucas.
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Just to be on the safe side, why doesn't he stay away from movies altogether?
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are coming from a lot of self-important cunts. This movie was never meant to be Shakespeare and as long as you're not some shit bag that thinks of himself as too important and sophisticated to laugh at Will Ferrel you'll have a good time watching it. It IS a funny movie and worth the price of a ticket.
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Fuck you Alamo Drafthouse
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Ok. Good enough reason. Just don't leave us waiting too long. I don't come to this site for the news. I come for the gushing love shown for a movie that you really enjoy. It's been half my movie watching experience since Titanic.
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...when you market your movie as a big budget family comedy/adventure, but the actual movie is a sketch-style stoner comedy for the college crowd. I'm sure parents weren't pleased, word of mouth got around and people stayed away. Simple, really.
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Is he a great writer, god no, not by any stretch of the imagination. But, I don't think he's ever claimed to be. And his writing style has been consistent since as long as I've been coming to this site so I don't understand why everyone trashes him after every review. We've always known he was a bad writer, complaining about it ad nauseum is not going to improve his writing. If it offends you that much then don't read it. Why punish yourself? Now, as far as attacking his opinion, well that's just an exercise in futility. I don't hear anyone attacking Roger Ebert who also enjoyed LotL. Lastly, concerning those who call Harry a sell out. Go back and read his Terminator Salvation review. McG gave him a freaking Terminator skull and he still trashed the movie. That being said, I think that everyone has a right to post their thoughts on Harry's reviews here in the Talk Back so, I'm not suggesting that anybody stop trashing Harry. I'm merely providing a different point of view that there are those of us who actually enjoy Harry's reviews: piss poor grammar, excruciating personal backstory, disgusting scatalogical and pornographic references, unjustifiable hyperbole and all.
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Against my better judgment, I just saw "Drag Me To Hell" -- in part because it got great reviews -- and it was an utter piece of tripe. Complete uninspired garbage.Really, I should know better by now.
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But I loved Drag me to Hell. But its all just opinions. No one is right or wrong.
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Unless a film has over a 95% or under a 10% at RottenTomatoes, I don't use critics as a gauge.
If the ratio is so extreme that they almost all loved or hated it, I usually find myself agreeing. Other than that, I look for trends in reviews. -
Saw it with 3 friends over the weekend. Only about 12 people in the entire theater. I absolutely love Caveman, but did not find much funny in this movie. Only remember laughing once and it was a very awkward moment.
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So I took my 7 year old son to see LOTL. I watched show as a kid etc etc. The movie was a typical Hollywood rush job. The actors stumble from one amazing scenario to the next without even commenting on things. Danny McBride says a couple times "Are you seeing this crazy shit? You act like you see this stuff every day!". And they continue walking. I did giggle a few times as did my son. The f/x were really good as were the designs of the world. The Sleestak looked fantastic and creepy just lik eth eoriginals, but did I need to see them starting to mate? No. The movie tried for the Ghostbusters vibe (some action & horror but mostly comedy) but seemed way too anxious to get to the next joke. So the finished product is something I would watch again, but this was a missed opportunity. Instead of heady sci-fi with 100's of bizarre stories to be told, we get 90 minutes of jokes coming fast and furious while some dinosaurs and lizard men inhabit the backgrounds.
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Many of us who will never be great writers have slaved, through multiple drafts, over reviews. We have based our critiques on analysis of the film and personal opinion but *not* mere gushing that grows from some childhood memory. We have written about films without turning our reviews into mere synopses interrupted by praise and complaint. We have tried to write essays, not memoirs. Sometimes we have failed, at other times we have succeeded. But most of us have reached heights Harold Knowles does not care to reach for.
Thank you for taking him to task for his lack of professionalism. -
ROGER EBERT Lost All His Creditability When...he hated FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH. I read his review at the time and he thought the Stacy character played by JENNIFER JASON LEIGH was exploited. After the public reaction to the movie was over-whelmingly POSITIVE he backed down. He even left it out of his book titled I HATED, HATED, HATED THESE MOVIES. Admit it EBERT you were wrong and later spineless.
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They went the "Austin Powers" route with the comedy. The problem is the source material does not lend itself to that kind of raunchy humor. Bond and Matt Helm had lots of sex and innuendo, making the jokes in Austin Powers work.There were also nods to Planet of the Apes. The title font, the Pakuni tribe's women, the modern world's landmarks & statues in the desert.The Krofft Bros. are really to blame for this, they let the project become a "Will Ferrell Comedy." Bad move boys. I suspect the TV show's original head writer David Gerrold is laughing his butt off somewhere.-----later-----m
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for the same reason regarding Isabella Rossalini (particularly the scene where she's naked in the street). Now he's got a voice track on the BV DVD saying how great the film is. I will say this, at least the man can admit when he's wrong.
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was just a bad idea. Plain & simple. LOTL is the ONLY Krofft show that was actually serious (I'm not counting Bigfoot & Wildboy). I could see Far Out Space Nuts, Lidsville, Sigmund & The Sea Monsters, Pufnstuf, Dr Shrinker etc as a silly movie, but not LOTL. I felt the smae way about Starsky & Hutch. Hollywood morons in every pitch meeting: "It was a popular 70's show and since it looks old and campy now, let's throw some comedians in it and make it a comedy! EVERYTHING from the 70's is stupid and outdated so we can rape it as we please! Now start working on a script. I want it on my desk in the morning." That said, the LOTL movie may develop a strange stoner following on DVD. It has some value in that respect.
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Jeezus, Harry.
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If you did, and you disagree with me, what about it did you like? What about it was effective for you? What made you laugh? And if you didn't see it, then shut the fuck up, you troll.
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If you did, and you disagree with me, what about it did you like? What about it was effective for you? What made you laugh? And if you didn't see it, then shut the fuck up, you troll.
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When will he/she be looking for a new job? The uni execs Number 1 mistake was hiring Ferrell and number 2 was having Ferrell suggest the box office poison that is Silberling.
This so-called director was using locations where crystal meth was being made.
Director Brad Silberling on Land of the Lost: 'Like Crack For Kids'
http://tiny.cc/SzR7n -
Even in this vast sea of celluloid shit, I was amazed at the stench of this moronic garbage. The combined works of Uwe Boll, McGimp and WS Anderson seem positively stellar compared to this "film". Thankfully, success-wise, it has become this year's "Cat in the Hat". I didn't pay a penny to see it, and I still want to be paid back for doing it.
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The Playstation dinosaurs looked about as great as those from "A Sound of Thunder", and those ridiculous rubber frog-fish-men-whatever-the-hell-they-were-supposed-to-be were exactly what you'd see on a supermarket's "Lowest Price!" shelf a week before Halloween.
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It's "Planet of the Apes", with poop jokes. I also hope this doesn't affect Dana Gould's take on "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters".
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What a fucking god-awful piece of shit that movie was! I've never heard such a quiet audience at what was supposed to be a comedy! Not one fucking laugh I swear! Save your money!
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I always think of the Robert Evans ESPN commercials when I read one of Harry's reviews.
As for the flick, I think I'll wait for it on TV which is probably where it belongs. -
Which version were you watching, Harry? Were you drunk? To each his own, I guess. But, damn, this movie SUCKED!
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Download the best film podcast around
joblessfilmreviews.podomatic.com -
And AICN is his site. That "review" was just like all of Harry's writings. Difficult to read and seemingly some by some high school kid...who can't write.Seriously Harry, give it up man. Let others do their stories and you just kick back with your bag of Cheetos® and stay as far away from writing as you can.Also, your tastes in movies obviously means you shouldn't be "reviewing" them since you like awful shit like this. LOTL? For fuck's sake Harry GIVE IT UP! You have ZERO credibility! ZERO! NONE! ZIP!And last but not least, stop the name dropping. You're nothing but a big fat film geek who got extremely lucky with this site ( I guess) and we don't give a shit about who you know or what event you went to.GIVE IT UP CHUBBY!
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This movie was hilarious!! It was fun, it was goofy! I'm so glad that they went for adult themed jokes. They were awesome!!
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look http://tinyurl.com/kktw3a
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look http://tinyurl.com/kktw3a
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Seriously, me an' the Missus went to see this last week. 'Tis Aus so its just been released. I know that you guys love to rip on flicks, but where is the kid inside? I loved this movie because it enabled me to ESCAPE to stupid land for a while. I don't expect it'll be for everyone, but its not meant to be a profound piece, covered in lashings of Crowe or Pacino or "intellectualismish sheeit" Its a laugh innit, thats why it was made. It was based on a crappy saturday morning show. Is it better than that? Yes! It might not be "Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" but, mein freunds, it weren't meant to be were it? I loved it like "Caveman" same vibe to the movie (agree with you Harry, incidentally, how's the morbid obesity going? you losing weight? like your site too much for you to fall of the twig prematurely.) Peace out or piss off- Grantichrist.
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Wow I just did not get this movie. I chuckled 2 times during the entire film. I am trying to decide if this was in the top 5 worst movies I have ever seen - not trying to be a hater but man I feel like I deserve my money back and want that 105 minutes of my life back.
Really poorly done and not funny. -
Took my 7-yr.-old son, unfortunately.... I should have realized this movie was bad for him, not to mention plain bad! Duped, but no harm done. You can see him and I review it together on YouTube: "Gab and Max"
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Great jokes, adventure, sets etc.
So entertaining.
Will is in great form in this.
Why this film flopped. I don't know.
Great review Harry.
P.S. Don't take this film so seriously fanboys. Land of the Lost is a ripe franchise to make fun of.
I love this film!
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It's up there with Alice in Wonderland.
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Seriously, A LOT better than I thought it would be.
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...We love it! One of last years most enjoyable films for sure. Too bad it bombed... I want a sequel!!
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Orcus might check it out then
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