|
Published on Monday, June 1, 2009 - 3:11am |
|
Jesus Tonight Rewards Stephen Baldwin’s Faith With Another Humiliating Reality Show!!
I am – Hercules!!
Before Stephen Baldwin found Jesus in 2001, he was the star of Bryan Singer’s superb, acclaimed big-screen mystery thriller “The Usual Suspects.”
Since Baldwin gave up substance abuse for a faith-based lifestyle, God has willed him to demonstrate his lack of brainpower on a string of reality shows, among them “Celebrity Mole” (in which he was outwitted by Frederique van de Wal and Erik von Detten), “Celebrity Apprentice” (in which he was outwitted by Lennox Lewis and Carol Alt) and “Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge” (in which he got stepped on by a bull).
In the next few weeks we’ll learn if Baldwin brings further shame to his more successful brothers via NBC’s “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here,” in which he’ll compete against fellow reality-show vets Heidi Montag (“The Hills”), Spencer Pratt (“The Hills”), John Salley (“He’s A Lady”), Janice Dickinson (“The Surreal Life”) and Sanjaya Malakar (“American Idol”), as well as scripted-TV vet Torrie Wilson (“WWE Smackdown”) and former first lady of Illinois Patricia Blagojevich.
We’ll be seeing a lot of “I’m”; it runs Monday through Thursday tonight through its June 24 finale.
America will vote the “celebrities” off the show one at a time. The contestants receive a five- or six-figure paycheck for every episode in which they appear (not all the contestants are paid the same), so they’ve got plenty of motivation to stick around.
I was more than a little surprised when, following a six-year hiatus, NBC decided to mount a second U.S. season. Hopefully NBC will learn from ABC’s failure and mount a better product.
Apparently a much bigger deal outside the United States, “I’m” saw its first U.S. edition air on ABC between Feb. 19 and March 5, 2003. A dancer once married to Jennifer Lopez, Cris Judd, won. It was terrible, but I was compelled to watch every episode, and I suspect I’ll again be watching every episode this year.
8 p.m. Monday. NBC.
And remember: talkbackers who claim they’ve never followed a reality show are trying to make everyone forget that time mom caught them masturbating to “Breaking Bonaduce.”

Follow Herc on Twitter!

The New Book From The Guy Behind THE WRATH OF KHAN, THE VOYAGE HOME And THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY!! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reader Talkback
"talkbackers who claim
they’ve never followed a
reality show ... by yesiamaplant | Jun 1st, 2009 03:17:18 AM | You know, I'm left with the
impression . . . by hulkdog | Jun 1st, 2009 03:58:30 AM | How do you think Stephen and
Alec get on? by judderman | Jun 1st, 2009 04:28:41 AM | You don' mess with the Jesus by mulberry | Jun 1st, 2009 04:42:51 AM | Herc, that was priceless! by Yeti | Jun 1st, 2009 05:26:27 AM | I'm not upset... by The Amazing G | Jun 1st, 2009 06:25:33 AM | The Amazing G by brokentusk | Jun 1st, 2009 06:51:40 AM | Trying to make yourself feel
better, Herc? by raw_bean | Jun 1st, 2009 06:53:26 AM | He also did Scare Tactics by Fico | Jun 1st, 2009 07:30:38 AM | 'ating to Bonaduce? How do U
even come up with that? by JuanSanchez | Jun 1st, 2009 07:31:10 AM | The moral of the story is that
Jesus kills careers. by rbatty024 | Jun 1st, 2009 07:42:14 AM | This show is why NBC blew off
games 3-5 of the Cup finals by PennsyDeux | Jun 1st, 2009 07:56:32 AM | Self sacrifice by mulberry | Jun 1st, 2009 08:06:03 AM | This is what Jesus wants
Stephen Baldwin to do. by Fareal | Jun 1st, 2009 08:35:24 AM | Bah by EyeofPolyphemus | Jun 1st, 2009 09:02:53 AM | NBC just starting "I'm A
Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" by Big Jim | Jun 1st, 2009 09:18:05 AM | "Text 1234 to make Stephen
Baldwin eat the grubs" by Big Jim | Jun 1st, 2009 09:22:12 AM | Maybe will all luck out by Yeti | Jun 1st, 2009 09:36:32 AM | manor house was the only
reality show i ever followed by CreamCheeseAlchemist | Jun 1st, 2009 09:51:50 AM | I used to watch "the simple
life" by punto | Jun 1st, 2009 09:55:33 AM | Not that this justifies
this... by Canuck815 | Jun 1st, 2009 11:05:19 AM | So the Jesus thing... by Kid Z | Jun 1st, 2009 11:13:32 AM | I would never claim such a
thing. by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 11:16:04 AM | One exception. by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 11:18:30 AM | Oh and reality TV will have
it' by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 11:20:26 AM | Death & Dismemberment??? by Kid Z | Jun 1st, 2009 11:21:03 AM | Oh and reality TV will have
it's by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 11:23:46 AM | Kid Z by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 11:24:23 AM | Text 4243 to make Janice
Dickenson by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 11:29:22 AM | Kevin Smith's Reality Show by Mazzke | Jun 1st, 2009 11:32:05 AM | Does Jesus even like reality
TV? by CherryValance | Jun 1st, 2009 12:29:08 PM | man created god by TheExterminator | Jun 1st, 2009 12:32:49 PM | Lookin good Herc... by Sakurai | Jun 1st, 2009 01:05:23 PM | I bet Jesus loves reality tv. by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 01:11:23 PM | Bigotry? by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 01:17:35 PM | The only reality shows I'd
watch... by ebonic_plague | Jun 1st, 2009 01:34:13 PM | You're really scraping the
bong for TV stories, eh? by AzulTool | Jun 1st, 2009 02:29:24 PM | Another concept, then... by Kid Z | Jun 1st, 2009 02:54:08 PM | At least Stephen Baldwin is
working... by Fireball XL-5 | Jun 1st, 2009 02:59:17 PM | the scary thing is by smackfu | Jun 1st, 2009 04:23:17 PM | Turning your life over to
Christ isn't a 'curse' by smackfu | Jun 1st, 2009 04:25:38 PM | "Born Again, Again" by AzulTool | Jun 1st, 2009 04:31:08 PM | Smackfu pretty much nailed it. by OutlawsDelejos | Jun 1st, 2009 05:14:13 PM | gotilk by whiskey_dick | Jun 1st, 2009 05:34:03 PM | Best reality show ever? I'm
with Busey by Alkeoholic77 | Jun 1st, 2009 05:35:40 PM | Meanwhile, Herkimer will
continue his deal w/ the
Devil-- by Sal_Bando | Jun 1st, 2009 06:53:06 PM | Wasn't rhe REAL TITLE of that
show... by DrMorbius | Jun 1st, 2009 06:57:07 PM | A 2 hr premier? First the big
3, now NBC. by AzulTool | Jun 1st, 2009 07:07:02 PM | PennsyDeux by DrMorbius | Jun 1st, 2009 07:20:32 PM | No games 3-4 of Cup finals are
because of Conan's Tonight
debut by Tall_Boy66 | Jun 1st, 2009 07:53:36 PM | Amazing Race and the first 2
weeks of American Idol are
good "re by Tall_Boy66 | Jun 1st, 2009 07:58:34 PM | Looks bad enough, but four
times a week??? by Flim Springfield | Jun 1st, 2009 08:00:56 PM | A pox on both their houses,
DrMorbius... by PennsyDeux | Jun 1st, 2009 08:09:27 PM | You're an ass, "Herc". by Cotton McKnight | Jun 1st, 2009 08:30:23 PM | who the fuck is spencer pratt? by smackfu | Jun 1st, 2009 08:38:44 PM | Gawd damn, it's too bad Kiefer
didn't... by Shermdawg | Jun 1st, 2009 08:43:15 PM | whiskey_dick by gotilk | Jun 1st, 2009 08:52:42 PM | Kiefer did hook LDP up by Tall_Boy66 | Jun 1st, 2009 08:53:33 PM | Liberals, the party of
tolerance by GeorgieBoy | Jun 1st, 2009 09:24:31 PM | LOU DIAMOND is in this!!! WTF!
They didn't even mention
him... by JuanSanchez | Jun 1st, 2009 10:04:19 PM | bacci40 by D'Jesus | Jun 1st, 2009 10:36:17 PM | Herc and her great taste in
shows by FrodoFraggins | Jun 1st, 2009 11:01:53 PM | bacci40 by EyeofPolyphemus | Jun 1st, 2009 11:04:52 PM | I've never followed any
reality show.... by closeencounter | Jun 1st, 2009 11:37:17 PM | I think everyone's
forgetting...... by Ka Dargo | Jun 2nd, 2009 12:01:39 AM | Want to make this show
interesting? by DarthFloyd | Jun 2nd, 2009 12:07:27 AM | Cute. by gotilk | Jun 2nd, 2009 01:02:51 AM | Reminds me of the guy on
campus. by gotilk | Jun 2nd, 2009 01:12:22 AM | dissent is still the highest
form of patriotism, right? by blue1622 | Jun 2nd, 2009 04:10:47 AM | The government should
intervene and force the
Networks... by Fareal | Jun 2nd, 2009 08:54:51 AM | Herc you suprise me at
times... by silentbobafett2 | Jun 2nd, 2009 09:49:30 AM | I wanna see...... by Omar_Little | Jun 2nd, 2009 04:52:52 PM | gotilk by EyeofPolyphemus | Jun 2nd, 2009 08:41:43 PM | Oh *I* missed the point. by gotilk | Jun 2nd, 2009 09:40:41 PM | Kid Z, translate "mooshey
shoes" for me... by Bunger! | Jun 3rd, 2009 12:26:40 AM | D'Jesus and by Bunger! | Jun 3rd, 2009 12:28:33 AM | .... Polyphemus are by Bunger! | Jun 3rd, 2009 12:28:54 AM | ... jackalopes! by Bunger! | Jun 3rd, 2009 12:29:17 AM | Tolerant liberals by darthvedder81 | Jun 3rd, 2009 03:16:20 PM | Stephen, what a douche. by Stalkeye | Jun 3rd, 2009 05:47:19 PM | Religion by Maxwell Bishop | Jun 4th, 2009 11:18:47 AM | Tolerant liberals.... by Shakeshift | Jun 5th, 2009 01:35:08 AM |
|
|