Cool News
Full GI JOE Clip from MTV Movie Awards now online!
Hey folks, Harry here with the next clip from the MTV Movie Awards tonight. We got a glimpse of this earlier, but now we have the whole thing... This is definitely going to be more cartoony than the cartoon. But I don't really know what to think here as I was never a giant GI JOE fan - I was still in Star Wars love when GI JOE hit and only had a passing interest in some of the cool toys. What do you hardcore GI JOE fans think?
Click here to witness the full Clip o' Joe! or watch here:
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it' coming
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Probably for the best.
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What utter crap
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That trailer looks a bit retared, but its hard to tell.
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Went to the MTV link to watch the clip, still unavailable.But I did get to see an excellent anti-pot ad first!
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Looks like failure.
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can kiss the UK market goodbye with this,no one even cares for Sienna to be honest.
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I used to really like Stephen Sommers. He was actually a pretty rad director. He made a great adaptation of Huck Finn for Disney (and even made Elijah Wood believable as the southern gent). The Jungle Book adaptation was actually fairly admirable. And the First Mummy was Amazing. The Second Mummy was Fun (if you compare it to the horrible sequel directed by Cohen). Van Helsing was stupid but it was also too much for one movie. (Also from what I heard Sommers only wanted one monster storyline and Universal demanded 3 since Blade and Underworld did it - also, Jackman wasn't his first choice).
The idea of GI Joe is a near impossible gig. You have to sell audiences a PG-13 , family fun story with lots of guns and war. It might have worked in the days of Made for TV movies.
In a world where Bruckheimer is the only non-liberal mega producer, motion pictures like this will rarely ever come again. -
this is gonna be absolute shit.
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All this hate over a movie.I get it,everyone involved in the making of this raped your childhood,fingered your mom kicked your dog and made you get nut cancer.That about right?Has anyone who makes these comments about ho bad this movie is gonna look actually seen an old episode of the GI joe cartoon in the past few years? I have...there seriously fuckin stupid.Think about it,would any of those characters been military wearing the stupid costumes they wore? NO!!! the only reason they looked like that was to differentiate them as toys...they were toys you buncha cry babies...either enjoy it for what it is,a dumbed down action movie...or dont enjoy it,either way I seriously doubt anyones feelings will be hurt.
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Switch to IMAX you got a sell at least. Agree hackett,loved Deep Rising and the rest bar a couple and now being laid with a total dud...
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...how Hollywood can find a way to screw up G.I. Joe. It's like being given the part and written instruction on how to build a kick-ass swing-set, and just dumping it all into a pile and catching it on fire instead.
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and so does hulu Thank god for youtube They are a true internet site. Hey MTV go FUCK yourself
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it's that it looks fucking lazy and they didn't even attempt to be faithful to what it was back then. It's silly and unrealistic... but in a totally different way. Why do it then?
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That's all I could think of looking at those "bio-suits" the Joes wear.
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like the toys? or ther cartoon? I mean I'm not a military man but I seriously doubt that these ass colwns would actually be allowed to wear silly colourful costumes and have long flowing red hair and be all kinds of sgt slaughter...which part of realistic were you looking for again? the silver headed destro or the cobra commander shrilly calling to destroy all joes and other silly nonsense?
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I cannot wait for this movie.... the special effects are jaw dropping, the dialogue looks to be top notch, and those GI Joe suits look amazing. Only two more months to August. I may have to freeze myself and have a friend thaw me out.
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I think Hotshot was saying it IS silly and unrealistic, like the cartoon, but done in a DIFFERENT silly and unrealistic way. If you're going to make a G.I.Joe movie, make it for the fans of the original designs. Otherwise, who is it for? Make it FUN, silly and unrealistic.
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I get it... it's a movie for kids and fans of the old stuff. I'm cool with that. But then why change it at all? why get rid of all the stuff that makes it recognizable as GI Joe? As it is now, why even call it GI Joe? Meh... whatever. I won't be paying money to see it. Just a shame is all.
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know when there being lied to,thats why they changed it.Updated it to meet the expectations of kids like my 8 y.o. son who loves everything joe and thinks this is bad ass.
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but they love my old Joe comics also (and believe me... the string of coincidences there require some serious suspension of disbelief)
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A real Par-ee-sian homo! And remember kids, never eat yellow snow!
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Those Navy SEALS didn't have any exo-armor, and they just - BAM! BAM! BAM! - took out those pirates at a distance through a port window on a wavy sea. Maybe if these guys had guns instead of armor they could of, you know, shot Shadow Storm and the Baroness before they fired their weapons?
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... now all "teams" have to be adorned in all black leather/armor. Couldn't they have found some happy medium between the old designs and something newer? I will not be seeing this movie.
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While the 80's version of GI Joe was obviously never all that grounded in any semblance of realism, the premise of COBRA, MARS Industries and an entire city populated by a massive private army of technologically advanced terrorists nestled in the heart of America was at least cool enough. Somehow I see little hope of any of that surviving in this dreck. Now I kind of know how die-hard fans of the Transformers must feel.
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either way ill be taking my kid to it the day it opens he'll be happy about it.And so will I ,hot chicks tight pants...cant beat it
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that was some great story telling. shame some of that couldn't have been brought to this, realistic or not.
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I'm not usually on the side of haters, but this looks like shite.
At least they said "real American heroes", instead of "real world/UN heroes." -
As seen at last year's comic con panel... Even the mention of accellerator suits just sucked the air out of the room. Add that to the fact about mention of a previous relationship between Duke and Baroness and romance between Scarlett and Ripcord, the whole crowd of Joe Lovers and fans kind of left the room depressed. These guys claimed to love the property and these characters and then had a hard time explaining why they chose to go with such ambiguous Joe character like "Heavy Duty" and not Joe favorite "Road Block". I was holding off judgement till I actually saw some footage.. but after watching RESOLUTE, I can honestly say that his is NOT a G.I.JOE movie and that anyone who will consider this cannon or at least allow this into the fold is a goddamn idiot. And to those producers at comic-con (save for Larry Hama), who claimed they "Loved" the property and the characters, you've only revealed yourselves to be the money grubbing, no talent, hack story tellers you really are. Shame on You. Now, give us more RESOLUTE and let's ignore this movie in August and things might actually be okay...
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I don't want to keep repeating what i said last TB, but the thing is that Larry Hama, the writer and artist of the original GI JOE comic, created the majority of these characters and actually came up with the original concept (it was originally going to b e called FURY FORCE for marvel). And Larry Hama was an ex-Viet Nam vet who tried to be "realistic" as he could while still trying to create an escapist fantasy. The military terminology, ranks, tactics, and even many of the weapons were damn accurate.
Sure Hasbro would sometimes push ideas on him (Zartan for example) and he would try to work with it best he could, but usually he would just ignore things like the Shipwreck and Sgt. Slaughter as much as he could. -
May 31, 2009 11:56:21 PM CDT
I think they went with the Bio-suit shit because no one wants wa
by spectrebeeyatch
They made this way over the top because liberal ass holes would cry about how the movie is "too pro-American" and that Cobra is obviously racist one way or another. So they went way over the top to avoid all that. Nerds will still see it just to hate on it and kids and families will see it. Game over.
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looks cool, cute evil chick, etc. idiots must realize this is made to appeal to everyone (more or less). not saying that is a good thing, it's just HOW IT IS
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Most people in the before the Batman movies came out only knew the character from the campy TV shows (just like most people know GI Joe from the toys and cartoons) but Batman fans knew him from the works of Kane, O'Neil, Englehart, Miller and Moore's Killing Joke. So while many people would of accepted a Joe Schumacher Batman as being faithful to the source, the diehard Batman fans would have preferred a Nolan version or at the very least Burton's.
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I mean if they were gonna fly it into the middle of Paris to begin with. Fuck you Stephen Sommers
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Yo Joe!
He'll fight for gayness where ever there's anus.
GI Joe is there.
GI Joe- A real Par-ee-sian homo
GI Joe is there
It's GI Joe on Cobra ass to ass action.
Nuking the fridge with their lame rubber suits.
He never gives up.
He's always there,
Making us feel old and ripping us off.
GI Joe- A real Par-ee-sian homo
GI Joe is there
GI Joe is the codename for American's daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It's purpose, to offend aging Saturday morning cartoon fans by raping their childhoods.
He never gives up.
He'll stay til the fight's won.
GI Joe will dare.
GI Joe- A real Par-ee-sian homo
GI Joe
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Because moviegoers are, on a whole, complete idiots. And that makes me sad. I saw two great movies this weekend, and I have no worries about audiences finding Up. Heck, they were lined up like good lil' Mouseketeers everywhere I went. But I also got to see Drag Me To Hell, which was excellent, and the other 15 people in the theater agreed with me. It's a shame that it's going to be buried and summer "blockbusters" like Night At the Museum 2, Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe are going to rake in the cash.
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Utter shit ahead
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The power suits level the playing field, not only do they make everyone look the same (where's the individuality in the character designs?) but who cares about ninjas now when you can pretty much can do anything in your super suit? Everything's way too over powered and it's become a superhero team.
Storm Shadow's all wrong. Besides his mask gone, he's being used incorrectly, he wouldn't be trigger man to a plan where you fire a rocket launcher into the Eiffel Tower. And he wouldn't just waltz into the lobby of a building. How un-ninja can you get? No mystery. And he looks like a bad guy from Too Fast, Too Furious : Tokyo Drift
Why does Snake-Eyes not have a mouth guard? He's mute so who gives a fuck what his lips are doing? -
Jun 01, 2009 12:33:40 AM CDT
If the Baroness isn't taking off that black leather suit
by particularly hard vato
this is going to suck so hard... Oh this is laughable.
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They got us again!!!! I love it!!!! Another childhood icon destroyed!!!!
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When everyone can flip over buses and do fantastic somersaults? All he has over the other JOES now is a freaking sword and the inability to speak.
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What the HELL was Sommers thinking? Its awful!
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here, Gen Xer child of the late 70's and 80's -- this looks absolutely laughable. No hate here, or any feelings toward it, for that matter, other than pity. It's just amusing to me that those idiots could've easily had my ticket money. And I imagine we probably would've went twice, and purchased the disc, later on. Sad. I amazed it surpassed Transformers in craptitude.
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Jun 01, 2009 1:12:26 AM CDT
Despite what we think, it's going to nuke the box office!
by ganymede3010
The general movie audience is going to eat this shit up. Expect big numbers, especially since it's coming out in August with no other blockbusters competing with it for weeks.
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please do do not support this idiotic practice of only allowing certain people to watch clips - the more clips like these that go up the less traffic you get in the future.
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happy for Ray Park. He's a class act.
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fuck you stephen sommers, fuck you in your hack ass.
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*yawn* What did you expect, nerds?
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The only thing I expect is your period to come each month, and a worthless comment from you on these boards. It's the only thing that can be counted on with precision.
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But Sienna Miller looks hot.
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...that's all i got
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Wow. You anonymously told off a bunch of people over the computer who have no idea who each other is. Open a can of beer and celebrate, you have officially entered manhood.
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Did I hit a nerve, sweetums? Also the origins of my screename are exclusive to me and a close circle of my friends, nor do I expect anyone else to get its meaning. Maybe instead of insulting me for a completely logical opinion you could go back to the T4 bust you wasted your money on. Sorry if I disrespected your favorite toy, but perhaps you should claw your head out of your own ass, wake up to the real world, and realize no one gives a shit. You are a fucking shill of a human being, and the fact you replied with such a catty (translation for morons: Faggy) remark means you are no better than the millionth geekwad who worships some sort of brandname cartoon. So if I hit a nerve, good...I'm glad. Please respond to this so I can make you look more pathetic.
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Nope! I didn't than! I did it in my most recent post! I'm sorry if I insulted the thought police! Can I pwease have more chocolate rations? Give me a fucking break you pathetic twats. At least do better than attacking manhoodness, cause if you haven't noticed that's pretty scarce in these parts (especially from your end).
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You just know that all those retards who voted for Twilight at the MTV Movie Awards will be the same retards who will flock to this shit, because they think this is cool. Except, it's not.
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Your attacks and insult say more about you than any of us. I mean, what fucking kind of pathetic loser is in so much denial he posts on a movie geek site and calls guys the other people "nerds." Needed to let off some steam after several playing WoW online?
And if you disagree with some of our opinion here, fine. I can handle people who have a different outlook - what I can't stand is some asshole who thinks he can toss around insults and thinks he is tough. Fucking try to be polite and maybe I will treat you the same way back. -
love letter to a Talkbacker, disguised in impotent, jock rage. And you slipped -- your use of a homophobic epithet shows that you are overcompensating. It's okay to come out of that closet! We are trying very hard to get Prop 8 overturned for you.
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hermaphrodite Vampire the Masquerade character.
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Now that is a good insult.
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High five, to my fellow "nerd."
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but Davidia of the Toreador clan comes on here time and again with nothing to say other than to call people "nerd." It's not the 50's, any longer. "Nerd" and "spaz" carry no sting.
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Is the guy is obviously just trying to go for a reaction (which I guess he got; hope he is happy). I mean, there is a shit load of posts about why people are upset by this movie and the fact it is not because it was based on a toy but because they are fans of the comic book by Larry Hama.
You can be pro-exo armor without having to be a douche about the rest of us who are fans of Hama's work. -
I love how Connty (can I call you connty?) says I was begging for a reaction...and you guys make about 7 posts dedicated directly towards me. Real good way of dismissing any sort of argument you have, idiots. Let's also wash away this idea that I'm sort of egomaniac jock, which is silly because I'm as far removed from a jock as you can be. Sorry if I didn't have high expectations for GI Joe: The Fucking Movie as you guys did, but I merely came on here to say my piece and to dish out my opinion that you idiots shouldn't have expected anything more from what you got. For the record, I am a huge movie fan, visit this site daily, and have just as much of a right to flame misanthropic droll as you nimrods do. I'm sorry if it hurt your itty bitty feelings, but than again you could always reply and make my morning even more hysterical.
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He wears a mask. He doesn't need fucking lips. lol
I honestly don't mind big dumb action/pop corn movies. I liked Bay's Transformers. I'm even okay with the SW prequels. I liked GI Joe cartoons/comics as a kid. But this film just seems to be so damn generic. It's like they sucked all of the stuff that made GI Joe out of it and replaced it with stuff the director thought was gee whiz "cool" stuff out of every action/comic film from the last 15 years. They could have called this The Accelerators: Rise of the Nano Terrorists and it would do as well as this will because it's not got whatever it is that made me like GI Joe Cartoons/Comics as a kid. -
However I have realistic expectations. I knew Gi Joe: The Goddamn (are you kidding me) Motion Picture would not be the next TDK, yet when you see clips you guys throw your arms up and cry foul like it's fucking Tiananmen Square. I left my thoughts on that, and it turns your fucking geek balls into a bunch. Jesus, why does what I have to say bother you so much? One of you made fun of me for thinking I may have gained balls for slandering anonymously over the internet, but what does that say about YOU if you reply with such fevered passion to someone who you deem "pathetic". It makes you a hypercritical dickwad, that's what.
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the source of Continentalop's screen name without using a search engine. You probably can't. You are perfectly welcome to post opinions, just like everyone else, but don't go crying to your Gamemaster when the tables are turned on you, as you are incapable of posting without lame attempts at epithet.
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Jun 01, 2009 2:53:03 AM CDT
Who the fuck cares about this Stephen Sommers bullshit?
by motoko kusanagi
Seriously?
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Really, try using the pair you claim to have. Flicking away gnats is hardly, "fevered."
But, now that you've admitted to being a fellow "nerd," perhaps you can make yourself useful, and attempt to make friends, instead of being a perpetual douche. -
On me, you guys have me fucking pegged. Keep crying, it only fuels the fire. By the way, nice use of Dictionary.com. I know my valid arguments force you to try and dig down deep for a quip and convoluted wording, but perhaps you could just speak for yourself and realize that you are being a massive fucking cry-baby.
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Than you certainly are spending a lot of time and wording on such a lowly creature. What's your drive for such a pointless action, that you are spending time and energy on?
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Believe me, I am not a fan of throwing out insults or fighting over the internet with other TBers, I find it beneath me. This time I lost my cool. I apologize for insulting you and accept the fact you have the right to criticize our opinions.
BUT (and you knew there was going to be a but) I do have a reason to throw my hands in outrage over GI JOE the movie. Did I expect it to be good? No. But I hoped it would be good. I really did. Why? Well because I think Larry Hama's work deserves more respect, and because the comic book and characters holds sentimental value to me. When I was a kid I couldn't talk to my dad about Star Wars or super-heroes or horror movies, he didn't give a shit about that stuff (he could of gave two shits about that stuff). But he was a Korean War vet, so I could pester him with questions about the Joes bios and stuff from the comics: what does pay grade E-8 mean (First Sergeant); what is MOS (Military Occupational Specialty), LRRP (Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol), what is the Warsaw pact, what is NATO, Motor Pool,what is a Warrant officer, etc.
So I get a little upset when people say it is unrealistic (a lot of the GI Joes military jargon is dead on; I was in the Army so I know), and that it is just a stupid toy, For me it wasn't a toy or a cartoon it was a cool comic book, and it was good enough for me and my dad to bond over. I've said my piece and I am done. -
I can't seem to find it.
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Well said, my friend. I respect your anticipation for a GI: Joe flick, but forgive me for my utter indifference towards one. But when you look at it from a skeptical real world aspect....man this is the best you ever coulda hoped for. But I appreciate the weathered response, even tho I didn't exactly welcome one.
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This looks nothing like G.I. Joe. The bio suits, the black leather outfits (do they all have to dress like Snakeyes) look horrible. If you removed Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes from this movie would anyone be able to tell if this were a G.I. Joe movie? They ruined Cobra Commander's look (their pathetic excuse - he looked silly and like he was a KKK member) and Destro is maskless for what I understand to be more than half the movie (sort of like how Dr. Doom was in the Fantastic Four movies).
How can Hollywood screw this up? Each character in the cartoon/comics were unique, they had their own backstories. In this movie they all look the same. Do they need the exact costumes from the cartoon? No but at the same time what the hell is up with Hollywood and their fetish for black leather/rubber? The Baroness wore black but in these trailers it looks like she's more suited for a lame Underworld sequel. She was NEVER this badass. btw. where is Zartan? He's said to be in the movie. -
As for people knocking the cartoon...the G.I. Joe cartoon was much more well done than any other 80's cartoon. It wasn't nearly as cheesy as He-Man. G.I. Joe and Transformers were two of the better made cartoons. The cartoon Joe movie was very well done, really dark (should've killed Duke!!) compaired to the cheesy He-Man/She-Ra movie. It was just as good as the Transformers cartoon movie.
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And that Transformers 2 will fuck my eyeballs...or Avata...or...wait what's the next Nolan flick?
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take. We are merely pointing out the obvious, and having fun tearing apart the clip.
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I agree. MOTU was corny, and I'm not that much of a fan (nor do I hate it, I watched it just because it was on every day), but I do appreciate it out of 80's nostalgia, and I'd defend any hardcore fan who is disappointed if they foul it up again, in geek solidarity. There is definitely potential in the property, considering the original comics that came with the toys.
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venomous, but you deserved it, Davidia, by coming into this thread and being a dick, and using that tired, insubstantial argument of it just being a toy. Try to leave the ad hominem toward Talkbackers out of your opinions, unless they deserve it.
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And I don't mean that in a bitter way. Maybe it is just cheeseball, corny popcorn fun - I doubt it, but it could be. But they had to go sully it with the GI JOE name and have all the characters named after the GI JOE: Real American Hero days. Now there is probably no way in a million years I can enjoy this.
I could even deal with them calling it GI JOE if they said it is the next generation of the concept (just like how they REAL AMERICAN HERO line was different from the old JOE 12" action figure). Just give each character a new name and have them fight somebody other than Cobra. No connection to the Hama stuff,
But nooooo. They have to try and tie it in all together in a lazy hope of getting old GI JOE fans excited, or for easy name recognition. Well it doesn't work. If you are going to make a GI JOE: Real American Hero movie, do so; don't go half-assed. -
This can't be healthy.
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GIANT PIG!!!
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I thought nothing could be as shitty as Transformers but man, was I wrong.
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hmm no
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...That might be a first. I usually drop ten bucks before I start feeling like a damned fool.
Okay, exactly WHY do the Baroness and Storm Shadow have to make a big noisy to-do in that office building when they could just fire his jooby-juice missile from street level? And why does the Joe guy take off his helmet before making a deadly leap off of a building?
Oh, and power suits are this year's plastic nipples on a nuked fridge with flames painted on it. -
Thatjapanese dude barely hit the tower lol! get closer to it lame-o! Why have power suits when they can't make you run faster to catch the cobras? Duke needs to train harder. they should have some tubby dudes using power suits, they need 'em more.
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G.I. Joe never was a part of my childhood, so I can't comment about that, but this looks more and more like a more serious, live action version of Team America. and pretty uninspired at that.
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She actually looks like she's having some campy, scenery-chewing fun with the role, unlike everybody else, who's in deadly dull "serious" mode. Pity they didn't tell her to try for a German accent...didn't they know that all Brits do Deutsch accents? How else can they mock all the German tourists behind their back?
I'd hate to be the one to tell her that she can't reprise the role after this bombs... -
It's just hitting alll the wrong notes here-every single fucking action film cliche-dodging fireballs, outrunning missiles, goofy power-suit/matrix shit, nailing Paris, etc-I donno. And as the '80's toon/toys were after my time and then some--well there isn't that draw, either. I'd avoid Transformers save for two(2) vital things-it has Giant Robots in it, and it's done by Mikey Bay. Both count in my favor heavily(sadly) so there's that. But this-? uhhhhh....
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This stuff reminds me of the thinks I imagined as a kid. Not too happy about those super suits the Joes are wearing, but Sienna Miller looks awfully hot as the Baroness. I think that if it comes between Giant Fucking Robots and Yo Joe this summer I am getting more overblown fun from the latter one. Stupid, mindless fun. That's all I need, sometimes.
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The thing that bothers me the most about this movie is not really the "Hollywood-ization" of the property, because 9 times out of 10 that is going to disappoint, but that this pile of "blech" is going to be how the general public remembers something that is so important to me personally.
I've been a Joe fan since I was a kid in the early 70's, and even managed to make a business out of Joe-related stuff. To see it treated like this...well it just sucks.
Oh, and I'm with you poster who said that it helps Ray Park blow up. He really is a nice guy, and always has time to chat every time I've talked with him. -
They can stick all their "Copyright Restrictions" up their fucking arses!!! >:-(
I'm getting so fed up with all these limited 'US-only release' clips - do these muppets want to alienate foreign audiences or something!??!
Foolish pricks. -
every shot ive seen of him in costume he's wearing his mask. now i'm sure he'll get it removed somewhere in the movie like they always do but all this complaining was making it sound like he wears his ninja suit without a mask all the time. and yes, the lips on snake eyes looks utterly weird...and not just because the guy's mute.
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about Harry Potter and New Moon and GI Joe and Transformers? It sounds bad, I know, but it's the truth. And I'm not a "raped childhood" type, since I absolutely loved the Prequels and LOTR, but TF and Joe are just bad. TF isn't God-awful, but this Joe travesty? I hope it super-bombs.
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I guess I'll retread the old arguments... The old cartoon isn't the only part of G.I. Joe... the premise isn't any sillier than Batman or Superman... some of the original characters' khaki, green, and camo fatigues aren't dumber looking than this damn armor... This movie's one big wasted opportunity.
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Despite everyone's, "What else do you expect from the premise?" thoughts, there is no excuse for making a crappy movie.
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Is more like it..let Bruno sit on this.
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They couldn't just make them normal soldiers outmanned and outgunned by tech savy terrorists?! Funded by one of the worlds richest men aka Destro?! It took me about ten seconds to write that and it already sounds better than this peice of shit looks. They sooo missed the boat and the point.
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The world is going to end!!!
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Why, why is almost every clip and/or trailer I've seen all built around those suits?? It's as if they're under the impression G.I. Joe was about guys in super powered suits of armor.
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GI Joe should be about the American fighting spirit, not about Iron Man tech suits. Wow this looks like the 80's cartoon level of reality. I've got a bad feeling about this. It looks like it is written to sell toys to ten year olds.
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the tv show. Having seen this I am deeply discouraged. No,I'm not looking for perfection. I don't know, maybe there's some better clips. For me what blew it was the suits. I hope they're not running around in those the whole movie. With Dennis Quaid, and Ray Park as Snake Eyes I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but I don't know.
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Why do you need to know?
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...the 'so bad, that it's good' category. GI JOE looks like a laugh riot. I'm there.
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better?How do you take such a relatively simple concept and proceed to make a movie that appears on the evidence of this clip, to have very little with said concept? Powersuits?! What for Sommers? Seriously man, who is suprised I guess, we are talking Sommers here....
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Shit's awesome.
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Country = USA
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What is happening to me?
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For mindless popcorn-chomping fun.
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Eat it you fucking frog.
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Instead of wasting my money on this piece of shit, I think I'll stay home and watch my DVD of G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE instead.
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--I better take my helmet off first!"
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No Stuff.
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But, Bay's Transformers may actually prove to be a better adaptation than this version of G.I. Joe. And I hate to say it cuz I was always a bigger fan of Joe.
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Jun 01, 2009 10:21:54 AM CDT
G.I. Joe The Movie: Taking the "Real" out of Real American Hero
by glenn_the_tool
this movie looks silly as all hell. it should be called C.G.I. Joe.
and one good thing comes out of this. before, we thought this movie was going to be a piece of shit. but now we know it's going to be a piece of shit. and...(everyone together now)...knowing is half the battle! -
I'm sorry that I wasn't clever enough to come up with that one.XD
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To make a lot of noise and attract the JOES before they covertly shot the Eiffel Tower with metal-eating technology that is vastly inferior to a regular missile (which would have easily done the same trick).
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With more cgi. Tom Servo has a great quote that will sum this up:
"Words by Mrs. Johnson's first grade class." -
Jun 01, 2009 10:58:27 AM CDT
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ, wha? Wha? did I miss something good?
by idrinkyourmexicancoke
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calling it G.I. Halo is complimentary and we don't want that.
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...one small bright ray of hope that I extracted from this trailer, (as opposed to the last), is that it's starting to look like they're only in the mighty morphing power ranger suits for a couple of action scenes. There was a lot more of non-suited GI Joe scenes in this trailer. Hopefully, that means the suits are a gimmick that is only used for the scenes we've seen.
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Jun 01, 2009 11:21:55 AM CDT
I'm willing to give it a try - with very low expectations.
by hyphenatedwords
The cartoon was silly, silly fun. I tuned in every damn day. The toys started as close to realism as you could want in a toy, with green army men with specialties and plausible weapons. In the comic book, the level of intelligence and characterization was top notch much of the time, until the toy and cartoon encroached upon the plotting and made it unnecessarily silly with too much sci-fi. It had left behind the grit and simplicity it had at the beginning.
That said, when I look at this trailer, I don't see cartoony. A little camp, maybe, but we are talking about a girl in black leather named the Baroness. I'm willing to see it for what it is.
But, what struck me watching this was the Spider-man movie effect. SO MUCH of the comic book Spider-man is revealed to us through his thoughts, his long, introspective thought balloons as he swings, investigates, and when he's fighting. In a fight scene in a movie, you can't see that/hear that/represent that because it needs to be kinetic and real-time. It can't slow down for the character's inner monologue. The same holds true for this version of G.I. Joe, at least in comparison with the comic book.
Example: Storm Shadow leaping to the helicopter. It was fast and furious. In the comic, it would have been on panel, with text, a lingering image and impression. In modern action movies, the action can't slow down for reflection. No, slow-motion doesn't count, unless you're talking about bullet time, which is a different, very specific-to-its-story effect.
What the hell. I'm bemoaning the limitations of moving from one medium to another. What I should be bemoaning is the studio mentality. Think about it. How did G.I. Joe start? Grunt. Breaker. Zap. Rock'n'Roll, Shortfuse. Scarlett. Snake Eyes. Stalker. Flash. Hawk. It grew organically and methodically over years -- YEARS -- to become the super colorful and overly fanciful G.I. Joe team that everybody knows from the cartoons.
The studio mentality says, "This is the popular property at its most popular. This is what we have to dissect and brand and capitalize on. But people love origin movies, so we need to incorporate everything about the property at its height into the story of how it came to be."
Effectively, they want the orgasm. Skip the foreplay. Hell, skip the pick-up line. Skip the sex. We want two hours of pure orgasm. Well, we know from Brainstorm what that gets us -- a bunch of zombified, twitching bodies in the audience who have messed themselves.
How much more risky yet rewarding would it be for the studio to say, let's do with the films what they did in the original toy line, in the original comic story lines. Let's build this thing from the ground up and LET THERE BE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. Let's add a few characters at a time so that each subsequent film tells a new part of the story.
Ack. That sounds exactly like how they muddied up X-men. Once you've blown your load, where do you go from there?
Oh, yeah. You get us nice and hard for the Phoenix saga and then leave the bedroom. Cocktease. -
I have the full comic series, and still have almost a complete toy set.
while Im really unhappy with the 'international police force' changes, and the homogenization of the team members, Im not unhappy with the action sequences of this flick.
Remember kids: this is a toy that had a comic book, whose sole purpose was to market the toys themselves. If the action were realistic, I would be disappointed. Its a comic book - the action is SUPPOSED to be hyper-real. As far as the 'green nano smog' global threat, again, this looks and feels like the kind of thing you'd see in the comic book.
There are, admittedly, aspects of the GIJOE comic book franchise that are right for that medium, but absolutely silly for a movie medium. This is where I forgive the loss of 'individuals with focused skillsets' because no military or para-military force trains people to be so narrowly focused. So I can get past that.
My biggest complaint so far is that this should have been a 'closer to the comic' origin story - which covers why SnakeEyes wears a mask and doesn't speak among other interesting tidbits.
I am still hoping that they hide underneath an otherwise ordinary motor pool garage. That was always kinda cool. -
As opposed to the gritty realism of a guy who dresses up like a bat.
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Chameleon were the coolest figures.
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Why didn't they just let the Eiffel Tower fall?
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For the first several years, the comic book was permitted to create characters that were NOT toys, as well as not include characters they didn't like. Then around year 3, the toy company renewed the contract with new demands: all non-toy principle characters had to go, and all toys had to be introduced in the month in which they were put into store shelves. This forced the last-minute rewriting of nearly 50% of every single comic book. It was almost IMPOSSIBLE to draft any kind of "GI JOE BIBLE" for the comic book, because 3 days before publication, they might be forced to inject whatever new flying backpack guy was being released that month.
This is why the General who first assembled the team had an out-of-nowhere heart attack during a comic book. This is why the October Guard just vanished (later to be given a special comic in which they all died heroically). This is why Candy Appel, Snake-Eyes old Master, and the son of Cobra Commander (Billy) died randomly when some bad guy said, "hey see that car? watch this" and just fired an RPG into it - for no real good reason. They were forced to dump those characters.
Billy would later return when it was revealed that he would get his own action figure - but the whole sandlot was paved over before it happened.
And then the toys just went absolutely insane.
I remember reading an interview with one of the leading writers who remembers a day when a box from the toy company showed up: he opened it, and inside were a pack of half-man/half-snake "things" and he was told to redraft the next issue to introduce them. He said it was that moment when he realized it wouldn't last much longer. True to his predictions, it didn't. -
Storm Shadow is wearing a mask to me.
http://www.beyondhollywood.com/uploads/2008/05/gi-joe-movie-stormshadow.jpg -
series from Marvel was brilliant back in the early 80's. Loved that stuff. The cartoon I really liked too even though the comic was better.
This? Ehh, might watch it on DVD when it comes out. -
Jun 01, 2009 12:06:53 PM CDT
this is exactly how I played with them..lol
by glory_fades_immaxfischer
super inhuman back flips and shit..I think baroness needs to lose a thumb in this and one of the joe's needs to lose their crotch piece
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...are exactly right. I agree with what you guys said, and have had a strange gut feeling this movie would be absolute shit from the early days of casting, despite the fact I felt some actors were good choices (I like Quaid, Miller, Park, and Vosloo as "Zartan" seems perfect!).
The teaser seen last night all but confirmed this movie looks horrible. The fx shots of the the Eiffel Tower were very good, but those slow-mo action scenes were cliché. Why can't more action scenes be shot like they were in the Bourne films (Liman), Equilibrium (Wimmer) or even The Dark Knight (Nolan)? When they add too much CGI, it seems directors want to slow it down (I'm looking at you Mr. Bay) for some sort of dramatic look at how great the fake shit is supposed to look.
Give me Mann or Tarantino action scenes any day! -
Storm Shadow being the first GI Joe action figure I ever owned. I stumbled on him in this little store in my hometown. It was like finding the Holy Grail. This was also back in the day when toys were considered legitimate choking hazards (what with the tiny swords, knifes etc...) Amazing I came out of that experience unscathed.
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action figures. Zartan even changed color. That toy line was wicked. I lost interest when they went Serpantor or whatever he was called.
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You're absolutely right. Hollywood seems to be the place where creativity goes to die a quick death. Just because it's G.I. Joe doesn't mean you can't throw character building a frigging bone and ask yourself, "Ok, besides the cartoon connection, what is interesting about these characters? Why do I care about the outcome of this action scene? How does it further the story and affect the outcome?" To be honest, it's not really that hard to pay at least a little lip service to making people give a shit about what's going on, rather than throwing as much action shit at the screen as you can in the hope that spectacle will make a great trailer and put asses in the seats. Jaws could have been a dumb movie about a killer shark. Alien could have been a dumb movie about a creature killing people off one-by-one... no different than Friday the 13th. Even The Godfather was thought of as a stupid mob movie until care was actually put into its making. How the fuck has it come to this point where it's like, "Let's the minimum required to get this off the ground and into theaters."And as far as it being a cartoon, I think it could have worked if they had made it almost this tongue-in-cheek alternate reality America, almost a Starship Troopers tone, but then slowly made you care about the characters and accept the world, wherein they could slowly shift gears and make the story more serious. It's doable... but only if you give a shit in the first place and struggle to care about where your audience should be at mentally for every fucking page of that script. But that's just asking too much, these days, I suppose...
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I freakin' loved GI Joe when I was young. The figures, the vehicles, the weapons...nothing was cooler to me and my friends.
Loved the Tomcat, the Water Moccasin, even the basic jeep! The world of GI Joe was so impressive because of the bases and vehicles. A friggin' aircraft carrier...are you kidding me? You were the popular kid on the block if you had the USS Flagg, no doubt! I would play GI Joe w/ my friends all weekend, with long story arcs and graves for the fallen, with the battles taking place inside the entire house, and outside in the yard too!
I suspect many here had the same experiences, and that's why we all hope the movie would live up to that. If sex, puberty and booze hadn't changed our focus, I'm sure my friends and I would still be continuing the Joe vs. Cobra battles! Ha ha! -
Wait, wrong tb.
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You're thinking GI JOE with kung-fu grip!
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You have officially been noted as giving the best reasons why the original GI JOE characters where awesome, and how Hasbro fucked it all up.
You both have also given the best explanations as to how the studios and producers have screwed up a property like GI JOE by reducing it to the lowest common denominator. You'll have to share the award, but you have both earned it. -
Who's bright idea was this?? Stupid suits?? As long as you're making a GI Joe movie maybe stick with what was good about the show? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
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Hooah!
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This could be the worst movie of all time, worse than Leonard Part 6, Worse than Star Trek Nemesis or insurection and worse than any of the alien V Predator films. This may be the worst thing ever produced by major Hollywood investors. Too bad could have been bad assed to the bone like a Tom Clancey novel (integrating elements of the Modern warfare game for the short attention span crowd) instead they made a politically non descript and unoffensive, bag of steaming crap.
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I'm not sure I'll like this. No accent for the Baroness, stupid Halo looking suits, I haven't seen anything that leads me to believe that Cobra Commander is in it, Destro doesn't have his shiny chrome head. I'm undecided, but it doesn't look very good so far.
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who wears the football jersey? Seriously he went into combat in like..a cowboy blue jersey.Roadblock maybe or bazooka or something else that sounds like that.Either way I think I proved my point as to why they arent wearing the toy uniforms already but that just sprung to mind..have fun hating and threatening each other.
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You're mixing up your Refrigerator Perry G.I. Joe action figure with "Bazooka," who wore a red/orange football jersey. He (SPOILER ALERT) meets his end in G.I. Joe: Resolute, which looks to be the only decent onscreen G.I. Joe incarnation we'll be seeing this year.
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when NAVY SEALS is a better representation in film than GI JOE, its... i got nothing. i wanted this to be good, just like you..but instead we get a subpar STREET FIGHTER. shit.
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"baroness needs to lose a thumb in this and one of the joe's needs to lose their crotch piece" ha! Now THAT would be the most "realistic" and "true to 80's Gi Joe" movie they could make!! Why did those damn crotch pieces break so easily!?
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Because maybe it'll prompt Cartoon Network to order a sequel to GI Joe: Resolute.
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two of the coolest villians are dead? (RIP Zartan and Storm Shadow)
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heartbreaking for some, I'm sure, but a decent sequel to Resolute could still live on. Hell, they could even set the story prior to "Resolute" and still have those guys in it, if you hadta.
i mean, did they ever explain how Mjr Bludd ended up dead? -
Whoever said this might be the first time ever there were two plot holes in a trailer was spot on. This one was about tone, and man have they seemingly bungled it.
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Thanks! I'll accept my share of that while simultaneously admitting that I'm no insider -- I just call 'em like I see 'em. And I learned form RKDN news bytes that corroborate my perceptions of the property's evolution.
It's the curse of any commercial artistic endeavor. No one can dispute that the art came first, from the first cavemen who painted on walls. It was the first caveman who traded a bit of food for his neighbor to do the painting that started the business side of art. lol 10,000 years later, we have studio executives, the johns who pimp the talent and collect the proceeds for themselves and their investors. Of course it's going to break down more than it succeeds, because we as audience members want the right and left brain of the filmmaking industry to collaborate and make nice.
The studio's perception is that art is a product, that good stories can be mass produced. I love what George Lucas said in Building Empires. "If the marketing says audiences like that, then you make 'that'."
The best thing to happen for us, the audience, and them, the artists, has been films like The Dark Knight and Iron Man that turn the studio's perception of success on its ear. While they scramble to package that, let's hope there's a bit of a gap left open to see some more truly original, for-the-fan films produced. -
Jun 01, 2009 6:58:53 PM CDT
SAG--i should just let it go..Laser is actually acting better
by six demon bag
my bad LAser, we can continue this conversation in a civilized way from now on.
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I respectfully disagree with your point about the "focused skillsets." I was always under the impression that they were nearly equally trained in most areas, but the individuals excelled at particular roles, so there was a bit of delegation of duty.But, regardless of the reality of special forces, it's simply better storytelling making the Joes distinct and recognizable.
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There's a reggae song the guys play at work about a guy getting on with his girl and she please him because as the song goes "I didn't know she had the GI Joe kung fu grip."
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I remember watching Megaforce when I was a kid. Such high hopes. I knew it was trash even in my youth. Didn't stop me from going to bat for it. So many years later, I recognize it for the trash it really is. Not "so bad it's good" like Flash Gordon. Instead, just coming to grips with my own state of denial.I have the audacity for hope that the online cheerleaders for this, Bay's Transformers, and Singer's X-Men will eventually reach the same conclusion.
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thanks for setting me straight on the gi joe front.HOWEVER,I think you kinda validated my point with the refridgerator perry thing.Everyone has a different version of what they think this movie should be,I think that version with all the colourful costumes would be shit.Handeled delicatly though,anythings possible.
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might be shit too...but im gonna give it a hot just because I can.
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With their song "Caress Me Down"? They're an American white boy Reggae-ska-punk band from the 90s. They were great, until they lost their singer to a drug overdose. Also responsible for "Wrong Way", "Santeria", "Date Rape", "(Love is) What I Got", "Smoke Two Joints", and "April 29, 1992". All great stuff.
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I agree with Dingbatty, I never saw the Joes as being narrowly focused as instead that each had a specialty that they were better than others at. Kind of like how a squad will have a designated marksman, or how Delta Force will have some soliders who are used as snipers and others who are trained in HALO/HAHO, Scuba diving, or other specialty skills for when the circumstances call for those abilities.
In fact, if you look at the "typical" SF ODA (Operational Detachment Alpha, or "A-Team") you'll see that they include:
An 18A (Detachment Commander) and a 180A (Assistant Detachment Commander)
A 18Z team sergeant (Operations Sergeant),
One 18F (Assistant Operations and Intelligence Sergeant)
Two 18B (Weapons Sergeant)
Two 18C (Engineer Sergeant),
Two 18D (Medical Sergeant),
And two 18E (Communications Sergeant).
Each of these guys is a specialist in a unique skill that would be necessary to complete a mission.
But side not: Bullhorn would be useless. -
Not too fantastic but it'll serve it's purpose as late summer fluff.
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... this movie will suck and tank. The money that was shoveled in to feed this Sarlaac pit of cinematic neglect would have been better spent on crafting a full series of G.I. Joe: Resolute.
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Yep, that's it. I couldn't think of the name of the song until you mentioned it. There's an album (okay dating myself) CD rather called Saturday Morning's Greatest Hits. It's all these modern artists doing Saturday cartoon theme songs. They did Hong Kong Phooey. Good stuff.
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It's one of the most awesome bad movies ever, and this reminds me of it a lot. Cool. Need Van Damme though.
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they are supposed to be soldiers. Mocking two old characters for poorly designed costumes doesn't make your argument valid. The Fridge was not even used in anything. Hama on purposely ignored him. So some characters have strange uniforms. Big deal. It wasn't the norm. The norm was MILITARY GREENS. And corny or not at least there would only be one character wearing the Jersey if they ever put a shit character like Bazooka in anything, that is. On the other hand, everyone is wearing the high tech strength enhancing suits in this movie. One more thing, the point was obviously to give the Joes a distinct personalities and quirks. Things you could remember them by. Breaker used to blow bubble gum, etc etc. You can defend this all you want but don't try to berate the original to make your point. There is just no comparison. And don't try to make it sound like we'd only be happy if they looked exactly like their counterparts. I would be. But this is too far away from the original concept. There was no point in calling this stinker GI joe. Honestly, they are banking on this being a success because of the name but I am not sure it will be enough. I don't believe JOE is that popular, Transformers-wise. But I wont be surprised.
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Anyone here ever play the game where you take turns with your buddy quizzing each other about the file cards?
Stanley R. Pealmutter.
Wallace A. Weems
Clinton H. Albernathy
Marvin F. Hinton
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