I was not a fan at all of DAVINCI CODE. I wasn’t an offended Catholic – I just didn’t like the story. I just never got swept up in it. But I loved elements of it. I love the Hardy Boys aspect of it. The clue that leads to a clue that leads to another clue… I love mysteries – but I never felt there was a drive to the story.

In ANGELS & DEMONS, it kinda feels like a Michael Crichton novel in the way it is constructed. There’s a series of time limits till something BAD is going to happen. There’s crisis upon crisis upon crisis – all of which ramps up the tension level. And I never have a grotesque silliness like “the direct descendent of Jesus” as a twist.

Instead, this is about a conspiracy that I really do enjoy. The “illuminati”. They’re a good and reasonable villain for the Vatican to have breathing down their necks. The symbology expert Robert Langdon is really in an immediate shituation.

This is what I mean by “Shituation.”

Everything in Vatican City has essentially gone to shit, and he’s in the midst of it. First off, The Pope is dead. Which basically throws the entire Papal state into an automated and rigid process of choosing a new Pope. The 4 main candidates that were the faves to become the new Pope have been abducted. And at 8pm, 9pm, 10pm & 11pm… they’ll be murdered. Not only that, but the Illuminati have stolen a healthy sample of Antimatter – and it is a looming Big Bang that’ll consume the entirety of Vatican City – essentially wiping out the entire hierchy of the Catholic Church… and a goodly portion of Rome as well. And because the Vatican is replacing the Pope – they’re being very stubborn about not going anywhere and continuing to send their smoke signals.

And if that’s not all – this Robert Langdon fella – whom the Catholic Church is not very fond of – he’s the only man that can ‘decode’ and possibly track down the evil Illuminati plot to destroy Catholicism. Add to that – the fact that the Vatican police happen to be headed by Stellan Skarsgard – who really doesn’t like him – or intends to be helpful in the least.

Yeah – it’s tough. Helluva shituation.

Now, there’s giant gobs of suspension of disbelief necessary to deal with this story. First, there’s the very notion that bad guys would ever come up with a plot that adhered to ancient texts, sculptures, carvings, etc. That there would be a man so perfectly designed to deal with this exact precise shituation. That a certain vehicle could reach a height, in the time given that would… well, you’ll see.

But something happened with me with ANGELS & DEMONS that didn’t happen in DaVinci Code – I allowed myself to just enjoy the story, the setting and the glorious Holy good time. If nothing else – there was the beautiful tour of cool places that all of this takes place in and around. The production is incredibly handsome. The intrigue is there, and the threat is one that I just love.

Just about everything is better this time out. Tom Hanks’ hair is much better. The threat is just grander – and the pacing is frantic. The bad shit is on a big scary scale. I just found the idea of finding out that Mary Magdalene was Jesus’ wife and that there was a kid… well I just didn’t believe that would single handedly destroy the Catholic Church – in reality, I felt it would probably just cause a splinter religion that would give a different group a degree of peace in the thought that God wanted to have a family. After all He did make us in his image, if we wanted to have a family, why shouldn’t He?

Here… You have an ancient and powerful organization that is threatening to physically destroy the heart and brain of the Catholic belief system. That’s something I could imagine some group wanting to try to do. We’ve seen a lot of death caused by people that dislike one religion or another – and destroying Vatican City while they’re picking the next Pope. To me, this is essentially BLACK SUNDAY, you know… that old Thomas Harris novel that John Frankenheimer about flying a big bomb in to the stadium that the SUPER BOWL is going on, with a Blimp! This time – instead of screaming excited football fans, a particularly American religion – they’re going to blow up Catholicism.

That said, I do prefer BLACK SUNDAY, if only because Robert Shaw is cooler than anyone living today. And the story was more of a straight forward investigation.

The greatest thing about ANGELS & DEMONS is the setting. At no point did I not think we were in Rome. The production design and photography has us running and speeding across Rome, popping up for air in beautiful churches, with some of the greatest frescos, statuary and general atmosphere in the world.

I also think this film is the first movie to make the Large Hardon Collider and the science from there as a boogie man looming over the top of everything. And that’s a refreshing boogie man. I know that it may be silly to be afraid of the science that could come from that place, but I also think it is healthy to be a little afraid of hurling really tiny things into one another. I also think there’s a great deal of advancement that can be saddled and put to great use if it all goes well due to a cautious and responsible group of people way smarter than I could dream of being. After all… people like me shouldn’t be given advance tech. Just look at what happened when I was given the world’s most powerful hand laser. I was shooting it at everything. I’ll just have to leave that behind.

There’s a point in the film though, where I seriously was contemplating just how amazing one plot turn would be if it were reality. The idea that the Pope could ever be someone my age… Still relatively youthful. In my life, the Pope has always been someone ancient. I mean, right now we have a Pope that looks like Palpatine… can you imagine having a Pope that was Obi Wan Kenobi – as a young man? That’d be amazing. Absolutely amazing.

I suppose at some juncture in my life, if I’m lucky – a contemporary of mine will be a Pope or a President.

I know I seem to be all over the place here. But the reality is – I liked a lot of different things about this film. The look, the setting, the characters, a lot of the harebrained schemes… it feels like a page turner on screen. I couldn’t wait to see where it was headed next. A lot of the film is gobbledygook to me. All the symbology and clues… it doesn’t make a lick of sense to me, but that’s ok, because this time I care about them solving the mystery. There’s a threat I recognize and want to see thwarted.

This isn’t perhaps a ringing endorsement, but I’m glad I saw it. There’s a lot to like here.

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