Review

Great Day for Robert E Howard fans! 1st: The Rat is off Conan!!! 2nd: Harry has seen SOLOMON KANE and it is wonderful!

Published at: May 8, 2009, 7:20 p.m. CST by headgeek

Hey there, Harry here! First - it seems pretty sure that Brett Ratner is off of the relaunch of CONAN - at least according to Empire. Now the scary thing is that producer, Joe Gatta says that everyone on their team really wanted Ratner, which has me truly afraid of who they'll end up hiring to helm the next CONAN. Will this mean a Conan by someone like Len Wiseman or Paul W.S. Anderson or someone worse. Let's hope it ends up being someone like Michael Bassett. Michael who? Well, Michael Bassett is a Junior filmmaker... he's just completed his third film, and he's on a career track that I'm always looking after. Each film has been a leap forward from his previous. In 2002, I was in Sitges, where I saw Michael Bassett's first film, DEATHWATCH - a very atmospheric and bizarre WWI trench ghost/horror film that very nearly did it for me. It starred Jamie Bell and Andy Serkis sans mo-cap dots. It didn't really warrant cheers and high praise cuz it just didn't quite work. It very nearly did though, that's why I really was interested in checking out his second film, WILDERNESS - which I saw at some screening thanks to my friend Matt Dentler back in 2006. The premise was essentially LORD OF THE FLIES meets juvenile delinquents from hell. There's something about child endangerment in film that I'm very much a fan of. The big point is... it was a very strong film from beginning to end, that just wasn't amazing. Now it is 2009, and a few days ago, I saw Michael Bassett's third film effort. This time - all the pieces have fallen into place for Michael Bassett. This time, he's adapted the second greatest character from the mind of Robert E Howard. This time it is SOLOMON KANE. There have been rumors of a Solomon Kane film for ages. When Bassett first announced this film, I was thrilled and scared shitless - because while I like Michael Bassett and I hoped he'd become a filmmaker that I could get real excited about... you never can tell. And with material like SOLOMON KANE. Dear God, this could've been handled all sorts of fucking wrong. On the drive across Austin to see the movie, I was talking to my father - and we were discussing the concept of a SOLOMON KANE film. We were talking about how the look of the character had been completely ripped off by Stephen Sommers for his VAN HELSING - that retardedly goofy cartoon of a film. And we were terrified of this going wrong. Dad talked about how when he first became a dealer of comics, pulps and movie memoribilia in the Seventies - there were constant rumors and fan rumblings of a Solomon Kane film. And we were talking and talking and talking - and finally I stated, "You know, I just hope Kane isn't just a badass. I hope they keep the religion as part of the character." And Father Geek looked at me and said with a degree of fear in his voice, "How could you do it without it?" How? Thank God! We never have to worry about that. SOLOMON KANE begins with an awesome shot of two great buccaneer style ships shelling the hell out of a strange Moorish city. We see English buccaneers and adventurers killing Moors as they make their way to find a great treasure of some kind. The man in front is a man possessed. Cutting men down like they're nothing. He's enjoying what he's doing and it is bloody, it is brutal, it is tough. As they make their way into the heart of this great kingdom, there's a hall of black mirrors at weird angles - and as he and his men make their way through - demons begin grabbing the men into the mirrors... And as Solomon makes his way, alone, to the main chamber - something belched from Hell is waiting. Satan's Reaper. And this reaper has come for an evil man's soul. An evil man named SOLOMON KANE. Kane begins an epic battle - trying to preserve his immortal soul and at the end of it all - he of course escapes - but upon seeing Satan's right hand man desiring his soul. What does that do to a man? We next find Solomon Kane living the life of a monk essentially. Completely and painfully dedicated in utter repentance to GOD. So intensely so that he scares nearly everyone there. The Abbott had a vision that God wanted Solomon Kane to go forth in the world and return home. His body is covered with sacred symbols and his back branded with a crucifix that covers his entire back. It's brutal. this isn't modern scarification. This is curdled skin. You only see it in this brief sequence, but it is the image of a man that has tormented his body as he can only imagine his soul would be tormented for eternity. He does not wish to go to hell. NOW - something you should know - throughout everything this film is BEAUTIFULLY SHOT. Not with filters and bullshit color tones - No. This film feels dirty, feels frigidly cold, life does not look easy. The actors don't look like actors with shiny white teeth and perfect hair. They look like people that have lived lives without air-conditioning, dentistry, exact surgeons and doctors. No - this is a hard time in life. If you've ever read Robert E Howard's stories about SOLOMON KANE you get a picture of the world he inhabited. Some would say that world was far more non-fiction than his Hyborian Age... After all, this is the 17th Century and Solomon Kane is a Puritan. And Conan's world is some age where there was no documented history of the era. Just a few ruins here and there. Clay tablets broken in half. But the 17th Century we can read about with some authority. But when we think of that period of witches and a battle between Christianity and the horrors of a Satan spawned world that the light of God was trying to force back into shadow where it belongs... we think of it in modern eyes. Where demons, the supernatural, the women tied to stakes to burn... they were innocents. It was the religion that was the problem, not the people thrown into rivers tied to rocks, not the women burned to death. Well, Robert Howard's world postulates that Evil was real. Not only that, but it was an aggressive mutherfucker. This world has something rotten and perverted embedded. And Solomon Kane... he's the awesome right hand of God that bitchslaps evil back where it goes. And it isn't easy. He doesn't have a cute bag of tricks. No magical swords, no amulets of protection. He believes in God. But God doesn't really care about Solomon Kane or this world. Other than somehow allowing Kane to find his way through it. You've never seen so many dead and decaying hanging corpses being feasted upon by crows and other critters. When you see this film, you won't be watching an ultra modern film. These are characters of few words, they speak about the evil in the world around them and the hope that religion gives them. But like I said... EVIL is aggressive here. After Solomon's time dedicated to God. He no longer carries weapons. He is a man walking the savage road back home. Haunted by his memories from there. When he's set upon by bandits - he refuses to fight them, instead he endures. He's the meanest most brutal badass on the planet, but he doesn't want to be the man he was that Satan wants. So he suffers, endures and takes it. Then a family comes and rescues him. A good family. Headed by Pete Postlethwaite. And you just know something bad is going to happen to these people in this land. They are heading to leave for the New World. Make a new start in a pure land that Satan doesn't have his claws entrenched into. He considers going with them, but as they get further on their journey - the evil grows darker and soon - it demonstrates just how far and how real true evil can be - and Solomon is given a quest with a promise of winning his soul from Satan if he accomplishes it. This film is an origin and an introduction to SOLOMON KANE. When Solomon's violence is unleashed, it is brutal and doesn't feel choreographed so much as it is what is required in the given situation. He uses the weapons of the period, musket style hand guns and swords. He throws himself into battle without regard for his safety or those he fights. And make no doubts about it, the evil in this world is true evil. My favorite demonstration of this is a little village they come across. There's a stake in the middle of the village - and surrounding it are all these dead bodies. They all had their eyes burnt out from the inside out. Holy hell, this is evil looking. They surmise that they were attempting to burn a witch at the stake and she killed all that were attempting to watch her die. This ain't the fucking CRUCIBLE - this is the world of SOLOMON KANE! Evil is real and thank god we have Solomon Kane out there in it. Now - about the performances - they're all dead on. James Purefoy is a movie star. His Solomon Kane is the animal we wish Wolverine was in fights. He's fantastic as Kane. He sells everything about the character - this isn't a film about one liners and unbelievable action. This is the purest film introduction to a new screen star since I saw George Clooney in FROM DUSK TIL DAWN. I had the exact same feeling watching Purefoy here. I'll tell you how good he was. Before the film, I told Dad - "I have always wanted Daniel Day Lewis to play SOLOMON KANE" - but by the end of the film, I was completely ecstatic that Purefoy had the role. He's seriously great here. And so is everyone else... Pete Postlethwaite, Alice Krige, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Max von Sydow (wow), Jason Flemyng, Mackenzie Crook... everyone. They all sell this story so well. By the end of the film - I'm ready for Kane to go to Africa, to go to the New World. This is a wonderful character and this is a wonderful start - like how we got introduced to Vin Diesel in PITCH BLACK - where we just wanted to see more of Riddick. Right now, give me more Solomon Kane and more of Purefoy and more from Bassett. This if an old school finely crafted film that genuinely creates the world of SOLOMON KANE. The beheadings, the arms being whacked off... it's done old school style - not clean happy CG cuts, but more brutal. Now this film isn't a huge movie, but it is much better than most huge movies. Better because they're characters you can be invested in. Doing things that are genuinely heroic against genuine horrors with real detailed atmosphere and a sense of foreboding. One of the heroes of this film that I've yet to mention is Dan Laustsen... the DP for the film. You know his work from SILENT HILL, LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN - but mainly his best work has been in foreign films like the wonderful THE SUBSTITUTE which blew audiences away at FANTASTIC FEST last year. Well in SOLOMON KANE - he does his best, most painterly work, as well as his most naturalistic. The film is beautiful to look at. Love the way this world is! I also love Composer Klaus Badelt's work here. He's had an interesting career thus far - probably best known for his work on the first PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN film - SOLOMON KANE is the new high water mark for him. When you go to see this film - and you definitely should (when a distributor smart enough picks it up) - go in knowing this is the first film. This is the film they made before any American studio was smart enough to buy into Bassett's vision for Howard's world. Before they knew James Purefoy could carry a film like fucking Atlas. And at the end, you'll hope for the next adventure - hoping for a straight adaptation - where perhaps he'll finally get his Staff of Solomon. This is the adventure that hypes us up for more and that's the best I could have hoped for the first SOLOMON KANE adaptation. A desire to see more from this same team!





Readers Talkback

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  • May 8, 2009, 5:42 a.m. CST

    PRAISE CROM !

    by SkullGod

    Can't wait to see Solomon Kane !

  • May 8, 2009, 5:44 a.m. CST

    Harry....

    by unkempt_sock

    You're up WAY too fucking early. I've got to study for a NONFICTION FILM exam. What's your excuse?

  • May 8, 2009, 5:44 a.m. CST

    Javier Bardem as Conan

    by Just_Ray

    He would be the shit. Hes got the foreign accent, the body, the odd good looks. They just need to do it soon before he gets too old.

  • May 8, 2009, 5:44 a.m. CST

    Indeed!

    by TELF

    Thanks Crom! Best. God. Ever.

  • May 8, 2009, 5:45 a.m. CST

    First! Sounds awesome

    by HarryBlackPotter

    !!!!!!!!!!!

  • May 8, 2009, 5:47 a.m. CST

    Shucks! Not first!

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Still sounds awesome, By Crom. I always say Kane as a brutal, pious man, like a Mathew Hopkins, Witch-Finder General type. I hope they have evoked the right 17th Salem Witch trial vibe I got from Howards stories.

  • May 8, 2009, 5:48 a.m. CST

    Max Von Sydow

    by MenLeavingFactory1903

    has confronted so many demons, devils, and grim reapers in his career as an actor - hopefully he won't be fighting them in his afterlife, or maybe he would like that. He's an interesting guy.

  • May 8, 2009, 5:51 a.m. CST

    Sounds cool

    by kwisatzhaderach

    but Harry thinks everything is great.

  • May 8, 2009, 6:03 a.m. CST

    Solomon Casting

    by WetBlanket

    It's too bad this wasn't realized 15 or 20 years ago. A younger Pete Postlethwaite would've made an awesome Solomon Kane.

  • May 8, 2009, 6:12 a.m. CST

    AT LONG FUCKING LAAAAAAST!!!

    by spud mcspud

    Thank God it sounds like it should - a brutal kickass Middle Ages action horror of sorts. Purefoy has long been a great actor (criminlly underused in A KINGHT'S TALE - loved his "Now, if I can repay the kindness once shown me. Take a knee" line) and a stand-up guy to boot (met him when I was an extra on THE FEAST OF JULY and he was just a decent, quiet guy) but he's tailor-made for a movie lead. here's hoping for two things:<P> (1) That despite Harry's love of hyperbole, this movie really IS as awesome as he says it is, and<P> (2) That we get more and more SOLOMON KANE movies. This is the movie VAN HELSING should have been!<P> Great review Harry, and loving the detail o the DPs, the cinematography and the like. All great news for a die-hard REH fan like myself!<P> NOW WHEN IS THIS OPENING IN THE UK?!?!?

  • May 8, 2009, 6:12 a.m. CST

    Great news for Purefoy

    by dastickboy

    This guy has been constantly overlooked. I'm kind of sad that this looks to be his hollywood springboard as I wanted him for the Game of Thrones pilot.

  • May 8, 2009, 6:20 a.m. CST

    Something tells me that the Director of Conan will be...

    by DerLanghaarige

    ...Zack Snyder. :P

  • May 8, 2009, 6:27 a.m. CST

    I presumed you were talking about Jimmy Fallon

    by Wolverines_Leaky_Workprint

    that guys a fucking rat faced freak

  • May 8, 2009, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Sounds good enough

    by onezeroone

    Looks like they got all the things right.

  • May 8, 2009, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Van Helsing: "that retardedly goofy cartoon of a film."

    by kayleefan

    Wow, for all the Van Helsing bashing, I guess you for got about this review huh? Douchebag. http://www.aintitcool.com/node/17487

  • May 8, 2009, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Haha Harry

    by Johnny T Williams

    I loved your review of Van Helsing. Now, is there a trailer for this Solomon Kane movie?

  • May 8, 2009, 7:50 a.m. CST

    I was waiting for Kate Beckinsdale to be nude

    by just pillow talk

    Then, and only then, would Van Helsing have been a passable film.

  • May 8, 2009, 7:50 a.m. CST

    SOLOMON KANE--didn't even know this was in...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...the works...sounds like fun for the whole family.

  • May 8, 2009, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Actually, it sounds like they got Kane wrong

    by Mr Willi

    Howard's world was one of Biblical evils, but of far more ancient ones, much like Lovecraft. It was actually the same world of the Conan stories, but set closer to modern times. And why do we need an origin story for Kane? Why can't there be some mystery about his background? And why isn't his Puritan upbringing enough to explain his commitment to fighting evil?

  • May 8, 2009, 7:56 a.m. CST

    I mean...

    by Mr Willi

    "Howard's world was one NOT of Biblical evils.."

  • May 8, 2009, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Good news about CONAN...but...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...the other people involved don't sound very sharp...does it really matter who directs? I just watched the double feature disk CONAN THE BARBARIAN/DESTROYER. I had forgotten just how much is truly great about BARBARIAN...and just how much is completely flaccid, limp, dull, and anal leakage-esque about DESTROYER...

  • May 8, 2009, 8:03 a.m. CST

    M-O-O-N. That spells "big fancy hat"

    by TomCullen

    I'm a huge Robert E. Howard fan, so I've very much been following the progress on this one, and looking forward to the day when I can check it out myself. Hell, I was even actually lucky enough to read an outline and later an early draft on the script for this, and so I already had high hopes once this got the green light last year, as from what I read, they very much "got it", despite the odd liberty taken here and there, as is the case with pretty much everything that gets adapted from one medium to another. And then when I saw that they cast Purefoy as Kane I was elated. The man was just so damn great in HBO's Rome, that I figured he had the potential to truly own Solomon Kane as envisioned with that script, unless something went seriously wrong in production, or unless the director (who also wrote what was shaping up to be a pretty kick ass script) somehow lost focus and couldn't follow his vision through to reality. But as the cast list got filled out with a pretty damn quality supporting list, as the director's blog posts started filtering out, and the word of mouth started a low rumbling, I've been feeling more and more like this might actually live up to its promise, and I wish the film and all involved the best of luck, I really do. Especially after having been ballsy enough to make the film outside the studio system with independant financing, so that it could be made the way they wanted without interference, and then worry about the 'market' for such a film later. This film reeks of being a passion project for writer/director Bassett through and through, and if the final film matches the enthusiasm for the material, and the talent involved, then it should truly be worthy of the name Solomon Kane.<p> And now we have Harry's review, which has given me yet another dash of added hope that, yes, indeed all those ingredients that looked good on their own may in fact be great together, and we do in fact have some special brand alchemy going on here that will be worthy of note. Of course Harry's opinion isn't one that I'd ever take to the bank, but it's good to hear his enthusiasm for this one none the less, and Solomon Kane is very definitely high on my personal radar whenever it gets a release, hopefully sooner rather than later.<p>Now, where's Bran Mak Morn (which, along with the non Howard Red Sonja, and the Conan reboot, is also supposedly in the works)...

  • May 8, 2009, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Crom Be praised

    by orcus

    Orcus just finished reading the collective Conan stories from the REH collective series. This is good news

  • May 8, 2009, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Harry...

    by GetEveryone

    That was a summary of the plot. Please don't do that again. Your description of the beginning did make me want to see it though.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:08 a.m. CST

    There's something about child endangerment

    by kafka07

    that just gets me misty. Hire Bassett for Conan now!

  • May 8, 2009, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Hoo-fuckin-ray

    by El Borak

    i can't wait.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:15 a.m. CST

    CROM!!!

    by BranMakMorn

    This is EXCELLENT news. Finally someone has the balls to do a Robert E. Howard FILM right. Emphasis on film, because to get the world and flavor of his stories takes someone who does not fear straying away from the text, but also wise enough to uphold the underlying themes that raises a Howard story above his imitators. Don't lose what made the characters what they are, and definitely keep the action away from the hands of directors who don't understand the brutal world Howard's characters inhabit.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Will never see the dark of a theater in USA

    by DragonCandy

    In these PC times I doubt if this film will find a US distributor. After all, the hero is acting in the name of God, and is a christian. Not cool these days.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:16 a.m. CST

    CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!

    by vic twenty

    Ratner crushed by the Wrath of Crom.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:18 a.m. CST

    When is the US release date??

    by kafka07

    It says on IMDB that it releases in Greece in March. Ok what about the rest of the world?? Why is there no trailer yet??

  • May 8, 2009, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the Kane writeup Harry!

    by vic twenty

    Long time coming. Can they really have gotten it right? Can't wait to find out.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:26 a.m. CST

    the script read

    by El Borak

    a little cartoonish to me at first so i hope it is darkened up. how do the spirits, etc, effects look harry?

  • May 8, 2009, 8:27 a.m. CST

    James Purefoy

    by skycrapper

    I know you're not a TV guy Harry but check him out in HBO's Rome for some more badassery. Pissing in a potted plant in front of a Roman Senator and shaking it off into his wine cup, classic.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:28 a.m. CST

    and i'll say again..

    by El Borak

    stallone dircting arnold in king conan ... rambo style = a gajillion $$$$.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Let's hope Harry is not just getting our hopes up

    by Beezbo

    This sounds almost too good to be true. I hope it avoids the direct-to-DVD route.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Geez

    by Arteska

    This sounds too good to be true as described. Also, I must have missed the Wiseman hate-bus, when did that load up? I would file the professed support for Ratner in that story as some odd form professional courtesy. It also seems they should take some lessons from how this Kane movie was made. Who were the other wish-list directors tossed out for new Conan? Verhoeven, Milius again, Snyder, Rodriguez I've heard before. I bet Sly could direct a mean version too. Who else?

  • May 8, 2009, 9:06 a.m. CST

    James Purefoy is Thomas Jane

    by JohnRyder

    Is the Evil real in this movie?

  • May 8, 2009, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Great news about Ratner

    by Rob0729

    Now that he doesn't have to spend time on destroying the Conan legacy, he can focus on totally fucking up the Beverly Hills Cop franchise (probably even worse than BH3 did) with his PG-13, kids friendly Axel Foley.

  • May 8, 2009, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Snyder for Conan is not a bad thing

    by JohnRyder

    I just hope it is more like DotD than 300. Altough I hate CG blood and he seems to be very fond of it. It just waaay too fake to have any impact on me.

  • May 8, 2009, 9:14 a.m. CST

    How did they finance this movie?

    by rev_skarekroe

    It's already made but doesn't have a studio or distributor?

  • May 8, 2009, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Pulp Renaissance

    by sanzaru

    I can't wait to see this! With the MARS films at Pixar and hopefully the push for Conan and Sonja epics picking up some steam, we're in for an era of pulpy film greatness. (Also, somebody please convince Arnold to come back for "Conan of the Isles"!!!!)

  • May 8, 2009, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Agree, Bassett for Conan!

    by SpawnofAchilles

    This movie sounds really awesome. I love the Conan stories but have yet to read any on SK, I'll have to check them out. Please let the Conan movie be good.

  • May 8, 2009, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Game of Thrones HBO Pilot script

    by SpawnofAchilles

    have any of you guys read that? I have and it's really good! That shit better get the green light. Or else!

  • May 8, 2009, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Arteska

    by SpawnofAchilles

    Ridley Scott for Conan?

  • May 8, 2009, 9:24 a.m. CST

    or maybe

    by SpawnofAchilles

    Neil Marshall?

  • May 8, 2009, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Conan Director choices

    by SpawnofAchilles

    Guillermo (won't happen, he's a little busy) DAVID FINCHER!

  • May 8, 2009, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Purefoy is Thomas Jane! I just had that thought too

    by Stormwatcher

    Loved him in Rome as Anthony. Knew then that he was top quality. Hell he is one of the only memorable characters in Resident Evil. Really can't wait to see this now.

  • May 8, 2009, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Robert Rodriguez is off BARBARELLA.

    by LoneGun

    The project is "officially dead". (tinyurl.com/cxd75a) Maybe he could do CONAN instead.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Purefoy was a complete badass as Mark Antony

    by Saen

    If you have not seen Purefoy as Mark Antony in Rome, you have to immediately. Such as an awesome role for him. Crossing Fingers for a good Conan!

  • May 8, 2009, 10:13 a.m. CST

    I ignored Rome

    by Star Hump

    but now I will go back and watch it On Demand. Crom's balls! You Talkbackers are persuasive. Nice review, Harry. Looking forward to Kane.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Cobra--Kai

    by JohnRyder

    Wash your hands with soap for typing Rodrigez as Conan director.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    You've made me happy twice-over Harry

    by OGoncho

    There is still hope :')

  • May 8, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Holding out hope

    by Movietool

    that Harry isn't in full-on hyperbole mode, and that this movie is really as solid as he says. I hated Van Helsing - perhaps this could redeem big-hat witchunters on film. <p> Oh, and Purefoy is, quite simply, the shit. That guy should be a MAJOR movie star by now. If you want to know how good he is, go watch "George and the Dragon" and see how he actually manages, completely through the power of his own awesomeness, to make that movie watchable.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Harry, I'm pleading

    by EddieBlake

    You really need to see about setting up a screening for this...I have been waiting for a Solomon Kane film for over 30 years...ever since I first discovered REH. Make it so, Harry!

  • May 8, 2009, 10:29 a.m. CST

    How many times did you have to say "evil is real"?

    by D.Vader

    We get it! ITs the most evily evil that was ever evil! Its so evil its truer evil than the last true evil! Evil is REAL here! The realest evil ever! <p> You remind me of Indiana Jones at the end of Crystal Skull. <p> Their treasure was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure!

  • May 8, 2009, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Deathwatch

    by Kizeesh

    An underrated gem. Which is why I can't wait to see Solomon Kane<p> I would however love to never hear Harry bash Ratner again, it's so pathetic it just hurts now. I'm in the camp that thinks that at very worst, his Conan would have been 1000 times better than the cinematic abortion that was The Destroyer.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:33 a.m. CST

    DragonCandy

    by cyberskunk

    The Lion, Witch & The Wardrobe? The Passion of Christ?

  • May 8, 2009, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Uh... abbott?... monestrey???

    by Kid Z

    You know, Solomon Kane was supposed to be a Puritan? A fundamentalist Protestant to the extreme. The first think Cromwell (another Puritan) did when he took over England was knock down all the monestaries and kill all the monks.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Harry's opinion is meaningless to me.

    by JacksonsPole

    How many times have we read these orgasmic reviews of Harry's, only to be utterly bored to tears by that same film? The dude has highly questionable taste...

  • May 8, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Harry's opinion is meaningless to me.

    by JacksonsPole

    How many times have we read these orgasmic reviews of Harry's, only to be utterly bored to tears by that same film? The dude has highly questionable taste...

  • May 8, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Harry's opinion is meaningless to me.

    by JacksonsPole

    How many times have we read these orgasmic reviews of Harry's, only to be utterly bored to tears by that same film? The dude has highly questionable taste...

  • May 8, 2009, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Harry's opinion is meaningless to me.

    by JacksonsPole

    How many times have we read these orgasmic reviews of Harry's, only to be utterly bored to tears by that same film? The dude has highly questionable taste...

  • May 8, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST

    when the hell is this thing being released?

    by mukhtabi

  • May 8, 2009, 11 a.m. CST

    I would like harry to review movies...

    by emeraldboy

    without taking potshots at the studios. or relying on insiders who worked said film and have a gripe or relying on other peoples reviews to make up his mind.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Sounds like this months

    by Series7

    Outlander, will never see the light of good distribution.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Okay...

    by THE TRUE PINBACK

    The news about Ratner being off the CONAN project is promising. Let's just hope they get a worthwhile filmmaker to direct. This SOLOMON KANE film sounds interesting, but why haven't we seen any photos from it. Who is releasing it and when? Is this going to be another direct-to-video film? PLEASE give us the low down!!!

  • May 8, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    cyberskunk

    by DragonCandy

    Yes, both huge movies, at least four years old. I think things have changed a lot in the last couple of years. Don't get me wrong, I want to see SK. I love Howard.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Harry you have no credibility as a reviewer

    by yeah i'm a jerk!

    Honestly, I wasted my time at that insipid Star Trek movie that you dripped praise over like some 10 year old who has discovered Playboy for the first time. I think I will wait to hear about Solomon Kane from someone who is objective.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Speaking of Outlander

    by Series7

    Is Howard McCain still working on this? If so I bet they are waiting to see how Outlander does on VHS before they seal the deal with him as director. <P> Jeez Ratner is becoming the new David Fincher around her, getting attached to everything.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST

    yeah i'm a jerk!

    by Series7

    So you didn't like Star Trek? Is it really this years Iron Man? By that I mean every critic in the world talks about how great it is, and in the end its just kind of boring and lacking of any action not scene in the trailer and no bad guy.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:03 p.m. CST

    James Purfoy

    by Alphanumeric1971

    The poor man's Hugh Jackman!

  • May 8, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Thank fuck that Rat Bastard Mother Fucker is GONE.

    by alucardvsdracula

    I hope he falls into a huge ghey hole, along with McG and Paul Asshole Anderson. And they just lay there. Cold. Naked. Prone. No Food. No Water. They have to kill each other for food. The victor will have to drink the cold blood of the dead. But it won't last long. Soon the victor will face Crom's justice in form of a HUGE Axe Wielding Cimarian, just looking to cleave some ghey talentless hack into pieces. Then only then will Crom be happy. And me too.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Kid Z:

    by Dollar Bird

    I was thinking the same thing. What's a Puritan like Kane doing in a monastery being a monk? Also, what's up with the ink and scarring? What Puritan would get a gigantic cross branded into their back? It's those little "make it rock!" additions to these movies that turn me off.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Sorry, Harry, but you're wrong about SK

    by Brian888

    If the description you've given here is accurate, Solomon Kane will be a very, very poor adaptation of the stories, to its detriment. Read the stories. Kane is really only nominally a Christian. The core of Kane is a barbarian. He's at heart an adventurer, in the same mold as Conan, and film should reflect that. He fights evil not because God says so, but because his desire for adventure (and sometimes revenge) drives him to it. And by the way, bringing the Devil into all this is absolute horseshit. Again, read the stories. When Kane wasn't offing pirates, serial killers and slavers, he was battling the decadent remnants of ancient civilizations or truly Lovecraftian, alien monstrosities. The tone of the Kane stories is that the world is incredibly ancient, there are things that defy understanding, and Christianity is only the latest passing fad. Kane stands up to these things because at heart he's an uncompromising bad-ass, like Conan. Turning Kane into "Ye Olde John Constantine as Played By Keanu Reeves" just sucks.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Harry, I can't wait to see this! Distribution info?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I've been a Solomon Kane fan for quite some time! Purefoy was great in Rome. I hope he gets cast in A Game of Thrones... and a hell of a lot more Solomon Kane movies! Any chance of some Distribution and release date information?

  • May 8, 2009, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Crom will have his revenge.

    by alucardvsdracula

    Oh yes he will.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Crom laughs at Ratner, laughs from his mountain.

    by alucardvsdracula

    And pisses on his ghey head, whilst sucking a nice pair of Valhalla titties. Dipped in ale.

  • May 8, 2009, 12:58 p.m. CST

    GREAT news!

    by Sulla

    Ratner is gone! Gone! Thank the gods. That was a close one. Glad to hear SOLOMON KANE was good, can't wait to check that out. Oh, and DEATHWATCH was fn' awesome imo.

  • May 8, 2009, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Solomon Kane release date?

    by donduck

    when?

  • May 8, 2009, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Make mine Soloman Grundy!

    by Rolling_Stone

    preferred.

  • May 8, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Wow! Thanks Harry!

    by Charlie_Allnut

    I've never heard of this property, but I love R.E.H...I am really looking forward to this. The news about Rat make my fucking day! Great article Harry!

  • May 8, 2009, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Kull, Cormac, El Borak and Steve Costigan all called...

    by GoodTimeBobby

    ...to tell you that they are all better pics for Howard's "2nd gresteast creation".

  • May 8, 2009, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Release date and the monastery

    by Gulbrand

    Bassett and co. will be holding a private screening in Cannes to sign the last distributors (including the US). As for the monastery - I've read the script, and Pete Postlethwaite's character and family are puritans.. As for Howards other characters,GoodTimeBoy, Paradox (the company owning REH's creations) are working on getting both Kull and El Borak to the screen (as well as Dark Agnes and Pigeons from Hell).

  • May 8, 2009, 2:17 p.m. CST

    ratner is still on god of war though

    by supercowbell4therequestformorecowbell

    our happy god of war fans are about to get raped in the ass

  • May 8, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST

    allucard

    by SpawnofAchilles

    Valhalla titties dipped in ale...Crom is pleased by this depiction.

  • May 8, 2009, 2:27 p.m. CST

    oh really, fareal?!

    by JacksonsPole

    so you enjoyed the hell out of fantastic four 2? really? really?!

  • May 8, 2009, 2:36 p.m. CST

    DIRT KANE

    by KILLALITRE

    You can get a pictload of SK stories from kindle for mere pennies,good stuff I swear!

  • May 8, 2009, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Purefoy looks like...

    by quicksilver80

    Christopher Lambert in the movie poster

  • May 8, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Purefoy

    by TedKordLives

    Purefoy blew me away in 'Resident Evil'. His delivery of 'SonofaBitch' is probably the best in film history. <P> But then, when he remembers that (spoilers) HE's the bad guy, his character totally changes. Accent, tone, mannerisms-he becomes a completely different character. I'm pretty stoked for this. I know next to nothing about the literary roots of Kane, but Purefoy and Harry's review (for once) won me over.

  • May 8, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Woah.

    by fiester

    This flick sounds awesome! Why is this the first we're hearing about it?

  • May 8, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Fuck, I forgot about DEATHWATCH!

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    That was a really good movie!

  • May 8, 2009, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Fuck, I forgot about WILDERNESS!

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    That was a really good movie!

  • May 8, 2009, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Fuck, I never knew about SOLOMON KANE!

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    This sounds like a really good movie!

  • May 8, 2009, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Ooh widdle baby Rattner! Did you get fired again for

    by white_vader

    refusing to fly? Serves you right on Superman, and now it seems like it's happened again. Timing issues my arse. At least the Bulgarians will be spared your presence... <p> Yes I know I'm being infantile, but Jesus Christ, what sort of an amateur strings everyone along until the second he's supposed to be on location for pre, and simply doesn't turn up/alight from the plane? For a 200 million dollar project?!

  • May 8, 2009, 3:51 p.m. CST

    this makes me so happy

    by nukeface

  • May 8, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Just_Ray

    by Prossor

    Conan is supposed to be from a quasi Scottish/Nordic land, piercing blue eyes and jet black hair and sharp nose, not a Meditteranean looking guy with a gorilla nose. You're thinking of the Frazetta paintings, he got that bronze tan from travelling the desert lands so much. Arnold even though he didn't act like Howard's Conan nonetheless resembled him pretty well.

  • May 8, 2009, 4:50 p.m. CST

    I believe Brian888

    by Star Hump

    Goddamnit Harry, you did it again. Did you skim over the REH Kane stories? Did you read them at all?

  • May 8, 2009, 4:51 p.m. CST

    re: SpawnofAchilles

    by Kurgan

    For your information, Game of Thrones is indeed greenlighted and will begin shooting during the fall in northern Ireland.

  • May 8, 2009, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Thanks Harry!

    by Bald Evil

    I can't wait to see the Solomon Kane movie, I hope it is everything you described it to be! Anyone know if there is a trailer for it out there yet?

  • May 8, 2009, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Few things here....

    by Sal_Bando

    1: Solomon Kane Movie? really? wasn't he from the Thirty Years War or something like that? if they do it well-then great, could be a blast. <p> 2: Ratner-hate by Harold. Gee what a surprise. I hope he fuckin' directs Thin Shitty Too just to spite ya Harold. Come off it. He's a director for hire, average ability who makes hits. So?? What'd he ever do to you? Besides that-<p> 3: Needs Giant Robots.

  • May 8, 2009, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Why exactly did they want Ratner?

    by IndyCollector

    Did they ever say what specifically about him made him the best choice for Conan?

  • May 8, 2009, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Harry, that was a segway worthy of the best news anchors

    by benlovescoolnews

  • May 8, 2009, 5:35 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the Great Review of My Movie

    by Solomon Kane

  • May 8, 2009, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Who's Brett Ratner again?

    by VicenzoV

    Is he the guy who made the only decent X-Men movie?

  • May 8, 2009, 6:53 p.m. CST

    director Michael Bassett gives you the latest update

    by BillboeFett

    http://tinyurl.com/od6lww <p> Very entertaining read all about color timing and transfers, etc. He seems very passionate. I'm going opening day and I had no idea who Solomon Kane was. It just sounds that good. <p> BTW, unless I'm mistaken, Rachel Hurd Wood is on the IMDB board asking about Solomon Kane updates. Apparently she had a peter pan website she made and she gave a fake email address.

  • May 8, 2009, 6:58 p.m. CST

    The Poster for this

    by twogunjames

    Is fucking awesome. POST IT!

  • May 8, 2009, 7:03 p.m. CST

    wow this is cool

    by walrusholder

  • May 8, 2009, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Biblical Evils

    by HEADGEEK

    Um... This isn't about BIBLICAL EVILS... There's witches, warlocks, possessions, demons, reapers, strange as creepy as fuck Mirror monsters. I never read about witches, warlocks and mirror monsters or reapers in the Bible. Is that an updated badass Bible?

  • May 8, 2009, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing

    by HEADGEEK

    I never said I didn't still love VAN HELSING - and when I say "Retardly Goofy Cartoon of a movie" - you act like that's a bad thing. Is it my favorite version of Van Helsing? Fuck no, that's PETER CUSHING in BRIDES OF DRACULA - but it was a Saturday Morning Cartoon of a film. It was a bowl of fruit loops and frosted flakes with bananas and chocolate milk. Everything a growing future Diabetic fat ass needs! And I'm happy to say I married a woman that fully appreciated the retardedly goofy action of that film.

  • May 8, 2009, 7:58 p.m. CST

    Harry ate Fruit Loops with chocolate milk?

    by BillboeFett

    This explains a lot

  • May 8, 2009, 8 p.m. CST

    My favorite moment of dialogue

    by HEADGEEK

    in this scene between Pete's character and Solomon where Pete talks about how hard it is to kill a man and asks Solomon for his affirmation about how killing is hard... as a lesson for his children, when Solomon essentially says, "I always found killing easy. I never felt better than when I was in battle..." that isn't a direct quote - just a summation of the intent - As Purefoy says it, he's the hesitantly peaceful man, though never peace loving. He a cocked gun waiting to go off, but with his finger off the trigger. And when he's killing there's a sadism and a slight beastly joy to him as he does it.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:02 p.m. CST

    BillboeFett

    by HEADGEEK

    No - but that film feels like that. My caustic breakfast for Saturday Morning Cartoons in the seventies was Frosted Flakes with slices of bananas in low fat milk.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:14 p.m. CST

    My only problem...

    by Lukecash

    Howards origin for Solomon Kane had nothing to a devil or being a mercenary. In a poem never finished by Howard, Kane and his local hometown militia fended of Spanish Raiders. Solomon knew that there was evil in the world so he went off to set what right he could.<p> To me having the devil involved with Kane reasons for being good seems to undercut what the character is about.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:17 p.m. CST

    33 years old and never heard of this.....

    by TheProfessional

    got me VERY VERY interested/excited to see this come out. I'll admit, I'm a little cautious after your lovefest review for Teeth(?) and talking about bringing a kid to that movie to educate them about sex??? but this review and story has me interested for sure. Thanks Harry!!

  • May 8, 2009, 8:30 p.m. CST

    Agree with Luke Cash

    by kingink123

    I don't think the filmmakers really get Kane. Seems to me they are shoehorning the character into some kind of Spawn/Constantine/Pirates of the Caribbean story. Adding Satan and Kane having to win back his soul to me is just ridiculous and a bit over the top. Kane, a Puritan, would know that he couldn't save his soul by his own good works. He was just driven to be God's "arm of justice" as I believe was written in one of the short stories.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:33 p.m. CST

    Witches

    by kingink123

    And there are witches and warlocks in the bible. Two off the top of my head, are The Witch of Endor in the old Testament who raised the Prophet Samuel from the dead for King Saul, and Simon, the Magician in the New Testament. You can also add all the old gods that the Philistines worshipped, like Baal or Dagon, demons, spirits, Leviathon. Plenty of ghoulies and ghosties in the bible.

  • May 8, 2009, 8:45 p.m. CST

    PLUS from the video

    by TheProfessional

    without me knowing the original content, this director seems like the right choice, in the video he seems to have a true passion for the story and just seeing his enthusiasm gets me interested in this movie.

  • May 8, 2009, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Y'all need to calm the fuck down about Ratner!

    by Raymar

    Douche? Yes. <P> Competent director? Also yes. <P> He made "X3" as good as he could given the circumstances and it was still better than Singer's "Superman Lifts."

  • May 8, 2009, 10:26 p.m. CST

    'There's something about child endangerment in film that I'm ve

    by Crooooooow

    Someone needs a shrink badly.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:27 p.m. CST

    Paul W.S. Anderson

    by Broseph

    I liked death race it was a fun balls out action flick.just wish people would stop hiring tyrese.this sounds cool i've never heard of the character.And ffs leave conan alone it's a great film that does not need to be remade.i remeber being a lil guy running around my grandma's house with my conan shield and sword kicking ass taking names

  • May 8, 2009, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Cushing/Van Helsing...

    by kayleefan

    Yeah, yeah, whatever... Please, reference an old 'classic' to show us what a true fan of film you are. A little misdirection to try to make us forget your original review. You always do that when you make a fumble. Jackass.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:50 p.m. CST

    HARRY-I. AM. THERE!

    by uberman

    Your descriptions sound like somebody got something right for a change in Hollywood. Based on your review, I'd much rather see this than any of the blockbusters coming out this spring/summer. We need a director commited to Howards orignal version of CONAN. We need a Frazetta inspired director to make the imagery and savagry of CONAN brought to life. As for the original CONAN movie? It was good, but it was. Not! CONAN of the pulp novels, and I for one never thought that a bodybuilder like Arnold was how a Conan would look. It has to be an actor who you sense real danger from, and Arnold never had that in his version. He has to be big, but not steroid/weight sculpting big. Scarred, savage, mean. If he was younger, a guy like Danny Trejo would have been great. Hell, Micky Rouke is much more believable as a CONAN then Arnold will ever be. BY CROM, MAKE IT SO!!

  • May 8, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Hawk baby

    by KILLALITRE

    I'm just watching hawk the slayer which is obviously superior to this crappy kane movie coming out

  • May 9, 2009, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Wilderness!!!

    by TheExterminator

    great flick...toby kebbel is the man. good to see you've been watching out for him so have i

  • May 9, 2009, 1:22 a.m. CST

    Wilderness!!!

    by TheExterminator

    great flick...toby kebbel is the man. good to see you've been watching out for him so have i

  • May 9, 2009, 1:40 a.m. CST

    dunno why that

    by TheExterminator

    double posted

  • May 9, 2009, 1:51 a.m. CST

    The director seems earnest enough

    by Teddy Artery

    ...but you know how tough it is to go from stunning pre-production art to micro-budget epic fantasy. Good luck to you, mate.

  • May 9, 2009, 1:56 a.m. CST

    The director Michael Bassett posted

    by Dingbatty

    on his blog that he is relieved that Harry likes the movie: http://tinyurl.com/cyq5ud<p>Swing by and give him some encouragement. We need more directors like him handling our favorite fiction.

  • May 9, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Showing interest will help get distribution

    by Dingbatty

    for this movie.

  • May 9, 2009, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Raymar

    by alucardvsdracula

    Douche? Yes. Competent director? Fuck Off. "He made "X3" as good as he could?" Er... Fuck Off. There is a cure for your confused eyeballs. Find a spoon, place them into your eye sockets and scoop out those white things. Place them on the floor and stamp on them. Now go find another pair as quickly as possible you poor, poor sod.

  • May 9, 2009, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Conan the Destroyer

    by Prossor

    If you try to compare it to Barbarian you will generally be dissapointed but take it as another 80s sword and sorcery flick starring Arnie and it's still awesome.

  • May 9, 2009, 3:11 a.m. CST

    It's McTeigue to direct Conan...

    by ErnestBorgNine

    and yeah, the Wachowski Brothers were at one time gonna direct a Conan film. Johnny Knoxville for Plastic Man!

  • May 9, 2009, 4:08 a.m. CST

    Stop Ruining Good Things

    by JustUsNerdsHere

    OK look, I'm all for a new Conan flick, but I think were all starting to notice a bad trend here; crappy remakes or continuations of good series. Harry's right on this one, if RATner passed on this one, who are we going to get? No offense to RATner (well, intended...well, not too much intended...well...), I'm sure someone out there somewhere needs a Rush Hour 4, but Conan is not that movie and X-men 3 shouldn't have been either. The point I'm trying to make here is STOP RUINING GOOD THINGS!! It's going on just a bit too much, a good example being the Alien vs. Predator movies. AVP was a series of loose plot threads that maybe with just a little bit of thought (or any thought period) could maybe have been taken somewhere, but someone neglected to include a important piece required for a film to even be considered just good: a well thought out plot. Maybe it's not the movies' fault, with 'Alien' and 'Aliens' you had Ridley Scott and James Cameron and for 'Predator' John McTiernan (and Stephen Hopkins for 'Predator 2' who did 'Lost in Space' in '98 and 'Ghost and the Darkness' in '96, which are at least enjoyable movies). Now compare that to the AVPs who were directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and the Strause Brothers (and no, I am not fucking using the word 'requiem' when referring to AVP2 just as a matter of fucking principle.). Point being, what kind of people do we want continuing well-liked (loved?) and over-all well done series; a Scott, Cameron, or McTiernan or an Anderson (the director of fucking 'Mortal Kombat' guys, geez! Though, at least to his credit it wasn't 'Street Fighter')? Or in this case, RATner and his ilk or John Milius (also of 'Red Dawn' fame)? As far as 'Solomon Kane' goes, hey I hope Harry's right. I'll see any Howard based movie (still dreaming of a Bran Mak Morn film and yes I saw 'Kull the Conqueror' starring Kevin Sorbo). I like Purefoy and I enjoyed 'Rome', plus it's got Max 'Ming the Merciless' von Sydow who gives just about any movie some class ('Judge Dredd' anyone?). So if Bassett can make something good out of one Howard character, it might make sense to put him on Conan...but sometimes sense and Hollywood don't gel all that well.

  • May 9, 2009, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Sounds cool, but any news on a trailer?

    by Bruce of all Trades

    ^ up there Thanks in advance, Harry.

  • May 9, 2009, 5:56 a.m. CST

    Jim Winorsky or Albert Pyun directing!

    by moviemaniac-7

    Where are these gods? Or Fred Olen Ray!

  • May 9, 2009, 6:14 a.m. CST

    by Seph_J

  • May 9, 2009, 6:24 a.m. CST

    To change to topic...

    by Seph_J

    Red Dawn remake is gonna kick ass.

  • May 9, 2009, 6:32 a.m. CST

    Mel Gibson could make a balls out Conan

    by L. Ron Bumquist

    as director that is, not actor, duh.

  • May 9, 2009, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Albert Pyun for CONAN!

    by spud mcspud

    And give the Cimmerian a triple-bladed sword. That would be KEEEEWL!!!<P> Oh, and ban that asshat Kevin Sorbo from going anywhere near it. Thomas Ian Griffith is very welcome, though.

  • May 9, 2009, 7:34 a.m. CST

    James Purefoy was fucking incredible as Marc Antony

    by Xiphos_2

    This sounds like a good take on teh character to me. I'll save my "childhood was raped" moment until AFTER I see the final product but, so far, it sounds like it could be really good.<p>After Purefoy's turn as Marc Antony that Professional motherfucker gets my attention.

  • May 9, 2009, 9:31 a.m. CST

    If this is true...

    by BigCZee

    If what you say is true Harry i'm fucking extatic!

  • May 9, 2009, 9:41 a.m. CST

    I knew they would mess up Kane - He's a Puritan

    by ayelver

    When I heard about the movie I figured they would make Kane a Roman Catholic. It is just easier visually. Purtians did not have religious imagery. It doesn't make for easy presentation on film. Covered in crucifix tatoos is all wrong. The Puritans hated the Pope and thought he was the Anti-Christ.

  • May 9, 2009, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Harry had low fat milk as a child?

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    Obviously the fat difference between normal and low fat milk, isn't as great as we all believed.

  • May 9, 2009, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Bring It On

    by Evil Chicken

    Great stuff, epic stuff. I can't wait to see it in the theaters.

  • May 9, 2009, 2:46 p.m. CST

    HARRY = FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. RATNER IS BETTER THAN YOU

    by Proman1984

    You son of a bitch.

  • May 9, 2009, 2:51 p.m. CST

    The Rats Mom reads AICN!

    by Xiphos_2

    Hello Mrs Ratner aka Proman1984.

  • May 9, 2009, 3:29 p.m. CST

    I sold my soul to the dark lord...

    by uberfreak

    and Howard's stories are coming to my blu-ray player... good trade off eh?

  • May 9, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Harry's dad

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Is or was he one of those dealers that pesters comic book artists for autographs and sketches for his "kids", then goes and sells the shit to dopey collectors?

  • May 9, 2009, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Thunderbolt Ross

    by HEADGEEK

    No. He's one of those dealers that gets artists to do sketches in his child's sketch book and his sketchbook that he keeps forever, but then buys several pages of the artist's work to then sell.... though usually he traded with the artists for cool shit they wanted.

  • May 9, 2009, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Purefoy

    by Shaner Jedi

    was brilliant in Rome. He made the second season work.

  • May 9, 2009, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Richard Stanley

    by Baryonyx

    Richard Stanley, the director of Hardware, planned to make a Solomon Kane movie back in the early 90's. But he ended up writing (and getting sacked from) the Island of Doctor Moreau remake instead.

  • May 9, 2009, 6:39 p.m. CST

    Richard Stanley's SOLOMON KANE

    by spud mcspud

    I can see that being kind of working, especially when you see how similar the guy in DUST DEVIL looked to a classic Solomon Kane. <P> Am looking forward to this version, but... Richard Stanley. That would have been AWESOME.

  • May 9, 2009, 9:50 p.m. CST

    this movie better get a distributor soon

    by Star Hump

  • May 9, 2009, 11:16 p.m. CST

    THANK CHRIST!!!

    by bonecrushersmith

    Conan has a fighting chance now.

  • May 10, 2009, 2 a.m. CST

    Only two directors I would trust with CONAN

    by Continentalop

    As much as REH's Conan was about adventure and fantasy, they were also about a character whose barbaric nature made him superior to the civilized people he encountered. The Hyborian Age was a brutal, vicious time were the Gods were merciless and the Fates cruel, and Conan isn't a noble hero but an amoral ant-hero. <p> The two directors I think who could capture that feel would be John Hillcoat (who did The Proposition) and George Miller (what is the Road Warrior but Conan in a post-apocalyptic future?).

  • May 10, 2009, 2:50 a.m. CST

    Stanley's KANE

    by Baryonyx

    Stanley's version would've had Solomon Kane sailing to uncharted lands (you know how the old maps presumed there'd be monsters in any new land that hadn't been explored yet.) Yeah - his Dust Devil character had a spaghetti western/Solomon Kane vibe going. If I remember correctly, Stanley also planned a bigger scale Hardware sequel, with a group of settlers under siege as a group of killer droids attack them in the war-ravaged zone seen at the start of part 1. Even Stanley's original Moreau concept sounded interesting - until Val Kilmer decided to act like an asshole and force big script changes - then got Stanley thrown off the picture.

  • May 10, 2009, 3:28 a.m. CST

    How...

    by cineninja

    ...did this movie slip in under the radar. I LOVE me sum Solomon Kane. Cant wait!

  • May 10, 2009, 5:44 a.m. CST

    harry has never really shown inclination..

    by emeraldboy

    to see how films are made. He just likes films. or any interest in their production. He has friends who are directors who are outsiders. Some talkbackers pander to harrys disinterest/dislike of the production process. that is the only reason that i can think of why harry hates ratner. there are some people who react badly what they dont get what they wnat. Harry is one of those. yes he did try production, but his disinterest/dislike of the production processs was found out. Hence nothing has materialised.

  • May 10, 2009, 5:52 a.m. CST

    McTeigue would be awesome for Conan!

    by sonnyfern

    Not a bad choice at all.

  • May 10, 2009, 6:46 a.m. CST

    that's great news...

    by Darth Scourge

    ...This largely allays any fears I may have had about the movie. I'm glad it looks like they've adapted the character fairly accurately and done justice to REH's vision. (And it's also fucking cool that Ratner is probably off Conan, too!)

  • May 10, 2009, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Mcteigue

    by emeraldboy

    also made v for vendetta and the invasion. neither of them were any good.

  • May 10, 2009, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Baryonyx

    by spud mcspud

    Personally I'd love to see a HARDWARE sequel - I loved the first one! - but a movie about the making of THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOREAU would be spectacular. I read a great several-page article about it in a UK movie magazine, NEON, way back in the day. Insane stuff! Ideally, you'd need Werner Herzog to direct, with Fat Val Kilmer playing Brando - and Cam Gigandet playing Kilmer...<P> Sounds like the making of that movie was much more interesting than the movie itself turned out. Shame, really...

  • May 10, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Trailer?

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Can't get my juices flowing without a glimpse of what it's going to look like. Get that trailer out now, dammit.

  • May 10, 2009, 10:40 a.m. CST

    there is something I dont understand...

    by emeraldboy

    both babylon ad and the invasion were both victims of massive studio interference. babylon ad to the point were everyone disowned the movie. The invasion was a train wreck. yet when it comes to X3 which had about as much studio interference as the other to movies to the where matthew Vaughn walked away. Ratner gets the blame for xmen three failings. For some reason that cannot I fathom every hear hates ratner. again i agoing with my hes not an outsider theory. Altmn was an outsider and his career was very mixed. he made some good films film and some bad films. and possibly explains the bay hate. bay works inside the system and people hate that. If he worked outside the system and made little films people wouldnt hate him so much or maybe they would. who knows.

  • May 10, 2009, 10:45 a.m. CST

    People here also hate Joel Schumacher

    by emeraldboy

    but he has my sympathy in one regard he had to work with val kilmer. god help him. kilmer is batshit crazy.

  • May 10, 2009, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Another not os nice person to work with his william hurt

    by emeraldboy

    and according to ex wife Marlee Matlin. he was abusive to her. someone recently said the follwoing about hurt. Hes great company just as long as you dont have to work with him.

  • May 10, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST

    spud mcspud

    by Baryonyx

    Yeah - a making of Moreau would be cool - I think Stanley even sneaked back onto set after his sacking - dressed as one of Moreau's animal-men! I crossed paths with Richard a few times in the 90s, which is why I know he definitely wrote a sequel to Hardware (he'd just seen Army of Darkness and considered doing the killer-droid army FX the same way that the skeleton army was done in Raimi's film.) My guess is that the Moreau disaster severely affected his chances of getting other movies made. Shame.

  • May 10, 2009, 12:21 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by blakindigo

    You bring up some valid points, but I think there are filmmakers working inside the system that still have a unique voice and don't pander to the audience.

  • May 10, 2009, 1:36 p.m. CST

    I know one of them.

    by emeraldboy

    theis person spent his time working on three big animated films. he then returned to ireland and set up his own company.

  • May 10, 2009, 4:54 p.m. CST

    and beyond that I aint saying

    by emeraldboy

    anymore. but I wish that would harry encourage talent or fund something that would.

  • May 10, 2009, 6 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by HEADGEEK

    Fascinating. I have no interest in the production process? Really - you figured that all out on your very own? Amazing. Is that why I read scripts, work to have week long set visits, post production visits, etc? Is it really all to sate my disinterest? And wow, you know so much about my "Production" life too. How, I wasn't involved at all because it all bored me? That's why I read every draft, have 4 hour phone conversations with my director and multi hour conversation with my producing partner - and am quite excited to begin meeting with the artists and director to begin dreaming up some of the design elements? It's because I'm bored. I'm sure my disinterest in Ratner's films has nothing to do with the lackluster product he's turned out his last several films at bat. It would also have nothing to do with how people that have worked with him talk and relate about those experiences. Never mind the fact that Ratner used to be quite friendly towards me. And I'm the one that ended that. Because he wasn't the kind of person I wished to be associated with. Hmmm... nah, couldn't be.

  • May 10, 2009, 6:01 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by HEADGEEK

    Fund something? Are you fucking kidding? I'm trying to get a loan to build a house, fund something, I'm trying to get funding. You're so silly.

  • May 10, 2009, 9:50 p.m. CST

    dont fund anything scriptgirl related

    by supercowbell4therequestformorecowbell

    because she fucking SUCKS

  • May 10, 2009, 10:05 p.m. CST

    woah headgeek whoa!!!

    by El Borak

  • May 10, 2009, 10:06 p.m. CST

    calm down big man!

    by El Borak

    ha! ha!

  • May 11, 2009, 2:06 a.m. CST

    The Rait is not the problem

    by CuervoJones

    The problem is the script. The relation between Conan and his father? Screw that Hollywood crap and just adapt The Hour of the Dragon.

  • May 11, 2009, 3:45 a.m. CST

    funding?

    by Prossor

    harry if you need funding just try robbing a bank although it's kind of a lottery if they change the codes or money transactions then you have to get out of dodge and hope it doesnt turn into a HEAT situation, that is if you brought some weaponry, otherwise you're just the dumbufck on the evening news hopping fences. or also selling drugs, i hear the biz is booming down south there.

  • May 11, 2009, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Harry, about those Biblical Evils

    by Brian888

    The point of concern isn't whether monsters he fights are found in the Bible or not. One of the stories references King Solomon, after all. The concern is this business of making Solomon Kane fight for his soul against the Devil. That's just really weak. The Kane universe is basically the Conan universe moved up to Puritan times, meaning it's a slightly more hopeful version of the Cthulhu Mythos. It's seriously doubtful whether Christianity and its trappings are anything more than human delusion in this universe. The Devil stealing souls? Ugh. Kane has more important things to worry about, like hideous things from the outer dark that have been spooking around for millions of years and that not even the priest-kings of Atlantis could kill.

  • May 11, 2009, 8:06 a.m. CST

    CuervoJones is absolutely right

    by Brian888

    Conan's past is something we really don't need to get into. We know from the stories that bad things happened to him in Cimmeria, so he left. That's all we need to know. I don't care about Conan's childhood any more than I care where the shark came from in Jaws. Any time spent in that direction takes away valuable time that could be spent showing Conan wenching, slaughtering Picts and Stygians, and destroying evil, corrupt old societies.

  • May 11, 2009, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Holy shit, Harry's pissed. Red Hulk Smash!

    by orcus

  • May 11, 2009, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Of course Harold-

    by Sal_Bando

    -there are horror stories galore about working w/ your pal Cokey, for example. Up here we saw plenty of Charles Bronson--not exactly a nice guy either. So-? He made good movies so I still like Mr Bunchinsky despite himself. Tarentino-not so fucking much. <p> MOST Hollywood directors thru history be it Curtiz or John Ford or Dwan or Hitchcock or Hawks-were assholes, okay? So what? <p> Ratner may very well be a bastard. But using that to color your opinion of his every movie is just your cherry picking his stuff and amounts to hypocrisy at the very least.

  • May 11, 2009, 10:50 a.m. CST

    John Lennon once said the following...

    by emeraldboy

    about the music business biz. you have to be a bastard in the music if you want to get to the top and we awere the biggest bastards of all.

  • May 11, 2009, 12:34 p.m. CST

    but the best eample is Sir Alex ferguson.

    by emeraldboy

    I am not a huge fan man u fan. Bu I acknowledge that He is the best manager in the premiereship(UK football) and there no other sirs in UK football. His abaility to turn the team around is second to none. Man u are odds on to win the premiership again. Man U vs barca has mee slalvating. By the time he retires Fergie will be regarded as the greatest managers of of the modern game, he has played the game and had success at every level. POint is that he didnt get to where he is by listening to people to talked behind his back about what a bastard he was. A reporter dared to question his team selection and Fergie fired back" away and write yer shite".

  • May 11, 2009, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing FULLY Kane Inspired?

    by The7thLevel

    I get the whole "right hand of god" comparison and what not, but Kane NEVER wore a hat like that. If you wanna see where the visual inspiration for Van Helsing came from, take a look at those first teaser posters of him standing in front of the moon, his face invisible beneath the brim of that ridiculous hat, and then go watch Vampire Hunter D.

  • May 11, 2009, 1:37 p.m. CST

    This is one of the most memorable events..

    by emeraldboy

    while on sky sportts and being interviewed by richard Keyes, keegan was then manager of newcastle united and keegan had a pop at fergie and his mind games ask rafa benitez about this recently . and keegan said I would love it if we beat them (man U). bad move. newcastle were destroyed by Man u.

  • May 11, 2009, 1:57 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by TELF

    Is there something wrong with your fingers?

  • May 11, 2009, 2:59 p.m. CST

    harry most have had one

    by emeraldboy

    hell of a falling out with brett ratner if he hates him and his films so much.

  • May 11, 2009, 3:05 p.m. CST

    I have a leanring disability

    by emeraldboy

    called dyspraxia which does effect co-ordination but only mildly. as well as speed and accuracy, which is a bit of a bugger when it comes to typing very quickly, i tend to make mistakes that way.

  • May 11, 2009, 4:48 p.m. CST

    The7thLevel

    by Dingbatty

    And Amano was inspired by Kane for Vampire Hunter D. Remember, Amano is a fan of Western Sword & Sorcery / Epic Fantasy -- he has illustrated the Japanese editions of Moorcock's books.

  • May 11, 2009, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Paging Billy Martin, Lou Piniella, Dick Williams-

    by Sal_Bando

    -John McGraw, Ty Cobb, Frank Robinson, Davey Johnson, Rogers Hornsby, etc. MANY of Baseball's great managers--okay Cobb was just OK in that role--were pricks, okay? You ever see Lou Piniella unhinged there in the dugout w/ the Cubs or Reds or Mariners? or for that matter Earl Weaver? <p> Good fuckin' christ, these guys didn't get where they were because they were NICE PEOPLE. Not nec. part of the job description. Terry Francona is the exception to the rule.

  • May 11, 2009, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Robert E Howard

    by Prossor

    I decided that he is probably my favorite author ever. His sombre grim yet colorful worlds is a wavelength i'm completely tapped into.

  • May 11, 2009, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Okay the Rajah as a manager was just so so

    by Sal_Bando

    A great player, fuck yeah-but sure as a manager, Hornsby was like Cobb. But you get the idea. <p> Brett Ratner prob is another Mikey Bay type arrogant, self-indulgent, screw gobs of coked up starlets and piss all over his crew type douche's the likes of which Harry Cohn happily hired by the truckload back when. <p> So? He makes movies. So what if Rush Hour or X3 weren't perfect? they're what they are-good, solid, average quality hit movies. And there's nada wrong w/ that.

  • May 11, 2009, 7:27 p.m. CST

    Hey emeraldboy...

    by morGoth

    ...I have pretty much the same problem (gets worse the older I get). I find composing in Word or something similar let's me proof (and spell check!) what I write before I post. Plus, when FatherGeek banned me and deleted all my post I vowed it would never happen again. Just a suggestion...cheers.<p>On topic...glad Ratner is no longer involved with Conan, by Crom! I know a certain Ozzie Hyborean is happy {[:^)

  • May 11, 2009, 8:28 p.m. CST

    emaraldboy

    by TELF

    Thanks for the reply, mate. I've been reading your posts on here for years and I always wondered.

  • May 11, 2009, 9:51 p.m. CST

    Hey Harry NUKETHEFRIDGE.Com are assholes but

    by i_CreepyThinMan

    Your a sellout

  • May 11, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Please...

    by Choo

    God bless the director who can create any of R.E. Howards worlds. R.E.H. made me into the reading fiend that I am today. P.S. He was a Texan.

  • May 11, 2009, 11:58 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 11, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Uncapie talks DUNE remake here www.nukethefridge.com

    by i_CreepyThinMan

  • May 12, 2009, 2:03 a.m. CST

    Yep Texan

    by Prossor

    and sadly took his own life, but then the best always do dont they?

  • May 12, 2009, 2:44 a.m. CST

    So the evil in this film...

    by Galactic

    Was it like, really evil? Like REAL evil?

  • May 12, 2009, 6:09 a.m. CST

    by morGoth

    by emeraldboy

    There is a guy in chicago called warren fried and he has a website called dyspraxiausa.org. there are international sites listed there.

  • May 12, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST

    NEW CONAN DIRECTOR NEWS

    by spud mcspud

    Chud.com are saying that Christophe Gans and Neil Marshall were being pursued for the reins of the new CONAN. Then a very over-dramatic new development meant that now, apparently, they want Marcus Nispel!<P> I like any of these ideas.<P> NEIL MARSHALL - Probably the weakest of the three choices for me, but still damn fine. DOOMSDAY and DOG SOLDIERS were a blast, and he wouldn't shy away from the blood-and-tits nature of the piece.<P> CHRISTOPHE GANS - Well, he does do the supernatural well - I loved SILENT HILL, and he managed to put martial arts in an 18th century werewolf movie in BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF, so kudos. Could we see some awesome and original supernatural creatures in CONAN? And NINJAS?!?!?<P> MARCUS NISPEL - Great visualist. PATHFINDER is majorly fucking under-rated (and had Clancy Brown as a Viking warlord! THE FUCKING KURGAN!) and looked spectacular - so if we're going to get a CONAN that looks as beautiful as PATHFIDER did (but lose that Zack Snyder slo-mo addiction, mmmkay?) then I'm looking forward to this.<P> As long as one of these three DO get the chance to make CONAN, my ass is in a seat, by Crom and Mitra!

  • May 12, 2009, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Ridley scott..

    by emeraldboy

    is another name to add or tony scott . Speaking of sequels. Russell Crowe confirmed last week that he approached Nick Cave to write the sequel to gladiator. Which never happend. The movie would have been collasal. in that it would have had an epic time span. all those european wars to the two great wars of the 20th century. Maximus would have been an historical ghost like commander figure. Who would have seen all the wars. I cant be sure but I think cave ended the film with maximus looking back on his long life and dies in the 21st century.

  • May 12, 2009, 10:43 a.m. CST

    I saw brotherhood of the wolf

    by emeraldboy

    for a second time. watched it all the way to the end. despite its stunning cinematography and visual flare. the monster was too CGi. The movie was far too like braveheart at the end. I havent see silent hill or played the game. not a fan really of overly violent video games. Played grand theft auto and that bored me stupid. I have played House of the dead three in the arcade of my local cinema. I gave up on violent vid games after half life game of the year ed. which was the hardest vid game I have ever played

  • May 12, 2009, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Wilderness was pretty great ...

    by 300 monkeys

    Gritty, and full of hot young men in sweaty distress - also had a great villain and an even better surprise hero. Solomon Kane just shot to the top of my high-interest list, based on a Harry review. Wow.

  • May 13, 2009, 12:04 p.m. CST

    NEIL MARSHALL for CONAN?

    by uberman

    Oh, please....PLEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEE let him NOT take this job. Doomsday was so. fucking. bad. Worst Movie of that year by a mile. None of these three gets me excited, but Gans is clearly the only one who has vision. His 'Brotherhood of the Wolf' was brilliant. But NEIL MARSHALL? Shit, Uwe Bowl could make a better picture.

  • May 13, 2009, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Neill Marshall gets

    by emeraldboy

    so overhyped everywhere. Dog soldiers was te only great film he made. Descent had its moments but was nothing more then an over extended land rover commercial.

  • June 18, 2009, 6:54 a.m. CST

    NOT FOR A REMAKE OF CONAN

    by JackTraven

    I wish the next Conan movie was not a remake, but another movie different. We do not need a remake of the excellent Conan the barbarian. A Conan movie without Arnold is not a good idea, but like we can not do anything, at least, that they make something good. But please, not a remake.

  • June 22, 2009, 4:22 a.m. CST

    FUCK YOU, HARRY!!!!

    by Playkins

    Your OBVIOUS and deliberate attempts to sabotage and discredit Brett Ratner are childish and unprofessional at best, and probably libel at worst. You should be ashamed of yourself. This is NOT how someone in your position should behave.

  • June 22, 2009, 8:51 p.m. CST

    God forbid he should have an opinion

    by orcus

    Give it a rest, the movie isn't even out yet

  • April 2, 2010, 12:43 p.m. CST

    No US release yet, but it is playing at a US film fest

    by Garfeimao

    While we wait for a US distribution deal, going to film festivals to see this film is all that's open to us at the moment. So woohoo to Newport Beach Film Festival for finding and bringing this film in. It will be screening not once, but twice at the end of April. http://www.newportbeachfilmfes t.com/

  • April 3, 2010, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Sweet!

    by orcus

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