Ain't It Cool News (

Drturing Praises Duncan Jones's "Singular" Sci-Fi, MOON!

Beaks here...

Duncan Jones's sci-fi flick MOON drew lots of raves at January's Sundance Film Festival. As you probably know by now, it's the story of an astronaut (Sam Rockwell) who, on the verge of completing a three-year mission on the surface on the moon (with only the ship's computer to keep him company), makes an alarming discovery that suggests he may be stranded out in space for the rest of his life. There's actually more to it than that, but I've been told by people who enjoyed the film that it works best if you know next to nothing about the narrative. Having watched the trailer, I can see how that might be the case. So while I really want you to read DrTuring's thoughtful (and quite positive) review of Jones's film, depending on your threshold for spoilers, you might want to wait until you get to see MOON for yourself. Can you hold out until June 12th? I'll leave that to you. For now, here's DrTuring (and I should note that he avoids significant spoilers)...
Do you ever get the feeling that we're in the midst of a nerd crisis? Every which way you look the nerds haven't just gotten revenge, they've unfortunately pushed the underdog that thrives on imagination and intelligence to the forefront of pop culture. There are I heart nerds t shirts astride nubile non asperger afflicted bodies and minds. Meatheads discuss their laptop specs instead of installing headers in their Pontiac. The beloved nerd properties are the expensive ones and the amazing San Diego comic con is still an exceptional mindblowing experience but it's hard not to feel the encroachment of money every year, corrupting calculated marketing money which doesn't give two shits for why something is loved so much as whether or not it looks exploitable. The nerds have won, hallelujah. And I live in a world where I can declare that I love Battlestar Galactica without being mocked. At least until they hear I'd stay in Friday nights to watch it. But the gadget blogs and genuinely attractive young women with elvish tatoos should be the promised land I always hoped to live in. And I do for the most part especially when I think that I - a Kim Stanley Robinson reading Babylon 5 apologist who has actually painted lead miniatures - have a wonderful girlfriend who not only tolerates but shares in my obsessive quest for Japanese toys and seeing a restored Blade Runner. It's about time we got over the nerd insecurity and admitted to ourselves that Spielberg and Jobs and Jim Cameron and the Woz and even Obama made the nerd the true 21st century hero. There is no stigma to being a geek at all any more. So we should stop acting like we're picked on and enjoy this new status quo where not only does collecting comic books no longer render one celibate, Megan fucking Fox visits the Aspen comics booth. And yet. As a true dyed in the wool actually bullied for writing in Tolkiens dwarvish runes and drawing the power loader from Aliens in 4th grade... That kind of nerd... I love to bitch and moan and will only ever be happy when JC rises again. Talking about James H Cameron of course. I can't be happy with the state of things. I need to bitch every day about my bitter dissapointment in people not seeing the true genius in a squid induced apocalypse. Cause I can't but help feeling that the surface aspect of nerd culture is triumphant and not the depth. The reason so many adaptations suck is because TPTB want the surface glossiness and vision of genre but none of the depth, the challenge, the essential foundational passionate curiosity that lies at the heart of every great genre story. There are always some that sneak through. But we're awash in nerdvana that visualizes but doesn't colonize relentlessly the imagination. For all my jokes about my nerd past, the general public year to year spends more time in it's collective unconscious hoping to see marginally talented rich people fuck up their private lives while blinking over the fact that we've discovered Mars had water. Where the fuck is our new Cronenberg or Gilliam or even given he's one of the most successful directors ever - where is a young and hungry next James Cameron? Where are the visionaries who earned it? And while we've had some fantasy masterpieces the past few years... Why is it that science fiction film still only barely scrapes at what the best scifi writing has to say about the human condition? Where is that film? I believe someone has finally made that film. "Moon". They did it with independent financing and a reported low budget that sounds embarassing. It's a minor imperfect miracle that's hardly going to be able to compete this summer with some expensive depictions of literally animated shapes of inhuman metal fighting each other. It's opening in two cities only and whether the rest of you get to see it will depend on that run. And goddamit if you love scifi then please see this movie. Let's be clear: this is a first feature and is in no way comparable to 2001 or Alien, which it obviously borrows from visually. But far more importantly it aspires to the intellectual promise of those films. I don't want to address what happens in the film except to say that discovering it cold is best. Yes there are spoilers about its central conceit all over the place and I knew them going in and it's really moot. Cause this is a film in which the twist is not even a twist. It's a central philosophical dillemma. And furthermore it's a chance for Sam Rockwell to finally claim recognizance as one of our phenomenally talented actors. The greatest special effect in this movie is Rockwell's performance. It's so brave and nuanced that he blinds you to how tremendously difficult it must've been. Some moments feel so organic I'm guessing some improv was allowed. But then your mind gets twisted by how you could even do that. The effect is simple but I found the performance so affecting I felt my subconscious had been rattled by a particularly head scratching magic trick. Likewise Jones and Rockwell always seem to make interesting choices. There were very few if any moments where I could reasonably predict where the story was headed and every time the film seemed to be setting itself up to become a rehash it would subvert that and do something that felt right. It's as if my mind's been programmed to expect these things to turn into a mindless slasher film or action thriller in the final third and both Rockwell's reaction and Jones' story doesn't do that. Hell the best moment in the entire movie perhaps revolves around Rockwell's only companion, a robot voiced by Kevin Spacey. Even hearing that you think you know what that casting implies and forebodes but what happens is truly unexpected. The film is not perfect. I can't fault Rockwell's performance or the effects, supposedly done for little money with a lot of MODELS hooray. There are a few minor rough beats. And I think the script missed some big opportunities in the final third but it's not valid so much as my opinion of how the story should be organized at that point. There's a beat involving deception of the robot and the station that is staged clumsily or if shooting was really rushed that day. Sam makes a crucial phone call late in the film and everything's firing on all cylinders except the dialogue. Precisely jarring because there are so few mistakes elsewhere. And the part of Sam's wife is underwritten, a lot could've been added to the scenes of communication with someone faraway you love, the strange petty arguments you get in over the phone over things that aren't really important, the defensive ways we react to being hurt by absence. But I guess I'd have to take that up with the credited writer. But ultimately I have to give it up to Jones for making what I am going to guess is a very personal film. There is an earnest haunting quality to the fundamental questions this movie asks that stayed with me long after the screening. In our age of face to face txting and twitter friendships we're all stranded on our own personal Moon. Here's why I ranted about nerdiness at the start (other than wanting to do a writeup on AICN that digresses cause you know, tradition): an essential true loneliness and fear of the self haunts this film. I wikipedia Jones and note he wrote a college thesis on A.I. and consciousness and an article in popular mechanics reveals his scientifically surmised reasons for mining regolith from the lunar surface. The press notes make him out in his own words to be one of the most intellectually curious directors I've read about in a long while. If he got anything from his dad it appears to be raw intellect. It's early days yet but if he goes on to fulfill the promise of this first film then I'm gonna say he's the nerd Bruce Wayne. Seeing him do his Q and A at Tribeca i wanted to prejudge him i admit but he won me over. He's managed to sneak this out into the world instead of a reality show or clothing line. Moon feels like a movie made for and by true nerds, Asimov and K Dick and Ballard loving nerds. But it also seems to have deep buried roots in a sense of exclusion and rejection that reminds me of how we used to seek like minded company out from our computer screens alone in our bedrooms. Hoping to find that other person that pondered deep. And furthermore I'll say this: Moon feels like a singular vision, a unique voice. I can tell you aesthetically what it borrows from but the unsettling emotions it gave me didn't feel like anyone elses work. If you don't like this film I still think you'll agree in this. The jury has yet to see Jones' next film but for this and Rockwell's performance I beg and implore all my fellow social outcasts who love astrophysics and philosophy and analog sci fi model building that you aren't likely to see a film like this the rest of the year. Now if you'll excuse me I need to work on my spec "Revenge of the Jocks"... Testing you, Drturing

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • May 4, 2009, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Sounds cool.

    by KingNineReturns

    Been looking forward to this for a while. I like the mood of the trailers, and of course Sam Rockwell.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Movie looks friggin' awesome.

    by oaser

    This is anything BUT a sci-fi movie, and I'm glad it's getting recognized.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:27 p.m. CST

    M-o-o-n- spells moon

    by mr dark

    finally it spells moon there ya go tom cullen..

  • May 4, 2009, 2:28 p.m. CST

    I don't see how any film geek could not already have

    by Shepard Wong

    this film marked on their calendar. It really is an impressive debut film. Although, as I've said before, all the comparisons to 2001 and other such scifi greats are doing this film a disservice. I'll probably check it out again when it goes wide.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:30 p.m. CST

    by the way this does look good

    by mr dark

    I will shell out my duckets for this, trek, angels and demons. t-4 of course (praise Bale)..and the new Bruce Willis flick that kinda looks like the matrix can't remember the title though but looks way interesting.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Any word on the Clint Mansell soundtrack?

    by DonnaDarko

    After The Fountain and Requiem for a Dream, Mansell can do no wrong in my book.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Learn to review.

    by fiester

    I blame you: AICN reviewers, Harry especially. I blame you for giving people a template of leading with lengthy emo-blog reminiscences about your misspent nerd-youth that are somehow tangentially related to the film you are allegedly reviewing. No one cares! Stop putting yourselves at the center of every so-called review. It's tedious. The above abomination may be the worst offense I've yet seen. I could not get through it and still have no idea what this film is about. Consider this constructive criticism but please do consider it.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Rockwell is da b o m b

    by furzee

    and the previews of this look pretty cool. My guess is that he finds out late in the film that no one is left alive on Earth and that he and his clones are the only humans in existense.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:40 p.m. CST

    DonnaDarko - Mansell's Sahara Score

    by Admiral Nelson

    If you like Mansell's music, check out his score to Sahara. It's a fun action score that sounds like a vintage James Bond soundtrack. Recommended!

  • May 4, 2009, 2:45 p.m. CST


    by The Llama not a word.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:47 p.m. CST

    This Move is not astronomically accurate!

    by Orionsangels

    You can't see stars from the surface of the Moon. As NASA photos and movies proved it. The suns sunlight is reflecting off the Moon's surface, bouncing light upward off the entire surface, just like in a big city at night. You can't see the stars, but in the country where it's dark you can see so many stars. Well maybe he's on the darkside of the Moon? But it looks too bright, unless there's artificial lights around his moonbase? Anyway, this kills it for me and takes me out of the movie. So I'm boycotting it.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:48 p.m. CST

    The trailer gave this movie away...

    by The Eskimo

    ...I think, but I really hope not. Anyway, if the "twist" is what I think it is I am going to be pissed. These days trailers tend to give away the whole plot because I guess most movie going audiences are so desnse the creators feel like they have to spoon feed them everything. BUT I hope I'm wrong on this one. Will check it out.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Rockwell needs shooting for what he did to Zaphod Beeblebrox.

    by BiggusDickus

    ...and you can line up Mos Def next to him, too.

  • May 4, 2009, 2:52 p.m. CST

    'Duncan Jones'...

    by BiggusDickus

    I'd still go with 'Zowie Bowie' though, if I was him...

  • May 4, 2009, 3 p.m. CST

    Orionsangels, YOU'RE not astronomically accurate.

    by Lemming

    You certainly can see stars from the moon's surface. It has nothing to do with bouncing light off the Earth (it's hilarious to think that would somehow light up stars millions of lightyears away). Here's a full explanation because I can't be bothered to explain:<P>

  • May 4, 2009, 3:01 p.m. CST

    i couldnt find the review.

    by alice 13

    rated hard r for ritalin.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Only thing missing from that review

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    writer didn't share the experience of his circumcision

  • May 4, 2009, 3:10 p.m. CST

    The Llama

    by BadMrWonka

    recognizance One entry found. Main Entry:<br> re·cog·ni·zance <br> Pronunciation:<br> \ri-ˈkäg-nə-zən(t)s, -ˈkä-nə-\<br> Function:<br> noun<br> Etymology:<br> Middle English recognissance, alteration of reconissaunce, from Anglo-French, from reconoistre to recognize<br> Date: 14th century<br> 1 a: an obligation of record entered into before a court or magistrate requiring the performance of an act (as appearance in court) usually under penalty of a money forfeiture <released on his own recognizance> b: the sum liable to forfeiture upon such an obligation

  • May 4, 2009, 3:13 p.m. CST

    The Film-Makers of Tomorrow...

    by maliswan

    will not be film-makers; film is dead. Time for something else... But don't you think guys like David Cronenberg and James Cameron, et al, made similar gripes? "Where's our Welles? Our Stroheim? Our Dreyer?" Remember entropy: All is well, and then it goes to shit!

  • May 4, 2009, 3:16 p.m. CST


    by DamnMichaelBay

    Spells Burger King.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:17 p.m. CST

    We are seeing the return of science fiction

    by Charlie_Allnut

    We haven't seen a period of sci fi awesomeness like this since the 80's! Space Opera? Check. Apocolyptic huge action movie? Check. Though provoking sci fi drama w/ amazing visuals? Check. Plus many many more coming out this year. I hope this finds a big audience.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Moon looks like lassic Sci-fi writing...


    I don't know the plot, I DON'T want to know the plot... but from the trailer, this looks like classic Arthur C. Clarke or Phil K. Dick short story material. Can't wait!

  • May 4, 2009, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Jesus Fuck, 5 paragraphs in...

    by jimmy_009

    ...and you haven't even started reviewing the movie yet. FUCK I hate reviews like this.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    fiester (and the rest of you assholes)

    by BadMrWonka

    this is not the New York Times. if you want a bland, impersonal review, why the HELL are you still reading this site?<p> it boggles my mind how people still complain here about Harry's punctuation, personal comments in reviews, etc. These things are PART OF WHAT MOST OF US LIKE ABOUT AINTITCOOL.<p>I mean did you actually READ the above review? or did you just scan it to make sure it had what seemed to you to be enough tangential references for you to eviscerate it in the talkbacks in order to...what? that's the thing, what's the point? just to make yourself seem superior? do you have a fucking movie review website? (DGDB, don't answer that)<p>the point is, the above review has a lot of discussion of things that aren't specifically IN the movie, but they are all RELATED to the movie. and the movie touched the reviewer deeply, so he wrote about it. why not?<p>why do you malcontented idiots have to COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING? some of us ENJOY an interesting and unusual review of an interesting and unusual movie.<p>and before you unleash your tirade of idiocy, no I do not think that the talkback is only for positivity. I've been here since forever, I'm not that naive. but if you hate a director, or think a movie looks like trash, great! say so! but if you hate this site and its reviewers and it's GUEST reviewers so goddamn much, and it's just too much for you to bear, here's a tip: FUCK OFF!<p>if you subtract all you whiny assholes who think Harry's on the take, the reviews are too long, your favorite show doesn't have a talkback, everyone here is a shill, blah blah blah...then stop coming here. NO ONE will miss you.<p>I've been coming to this site for over 10 years, and I still love it. Moon looks fantastic, and I think DrTuring's review was great, and made me even more excited to see this movie. which is, I'm sure, what he intended.<p>all of you negative jerks that are like the elderly people at an early bird buffet just ACHING for something to complain about, why don't you just start your own blog where you can write 2 word reviews with no personal touches, and you'll be so happy you'll jizz on your iphone.<p> is available, I checked for you.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Long winded, tldr version

    by drturing

    This is THE antidote for scifi fans who want depth not spectacle. This is not a reimagining or a remake.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Orion's angels ...Reason for not 'seeing' stars on moon...


    oh yah, the films don't show stars due to the bright sun+surface requiring a different shutter speed+ Fstop, not allowing enough time to expose the dimmer stars, NOT having to do with glare or 'haze'. No atmosphere on moon!

  • May 4, 2009, 3:25 p.m. CST


    by jimmy_009

    He could have condensed those 5 or 6 paragraphs into one then gotten on with the review. No one comes to this site to read wannabe writers wax philosophic about girls with elvish tattoos. It's pointless navel gazing and ego stroking. If he indeed is leading up to something then he should be able to get to that point within a paragraph or so. 6 paragraphs that basically say "I wish there was better Sci-Fi movies, now here's one" is ridiculous.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:27 p.m. CST


    by Castlemonster

    There Are No New Ideas, Only Variations On An Existing Theme!

  • May 4, 2009, 3:37 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    if that's all you got out of the first part of his review, you ought to read it again.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Vicarious indignation...

    by BiggusDickus

    can be every bit as tiresome as whiny cliches and outright trolling.<p>Looking at you, Wonka ;)

  • May 4, 2009, 3:49 p.m. CST

    edit your reviews

    by palinode

    You can do it. When somebody sends you something like this, take the time to edit out the stuff that isn't a review. I'm sure most submitters wouldn't mind, especially if it avoids them a TB backlash.

  • May 4, 2009, 3:50 p.m. CST

    This looks good, very good in fact,

    by skimn

    but reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode with Jack Klugman and Ross Martin as astronaut who find a crashed spaceship upon landing on a planet. Inside, they find their own bodies. It turns into a "Flying Dutchman" type story.

  • May 4, 2009, 4:02 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    first off, great name.<p> second, I have to get a rant like this out once a year because it annoys me so much. it's not vicarious indignation, it's MY indignation.<p>the fact that a site full of so-called film geeks ignore the movie entirely to bitch about someone describing a little but of how the movie touched them personally inspires MY ire. I'm not speaking for anyone else.<p>I mean honestly, just look at how many comments there are about the movie, and how many bitching about the review being too long. it's kind of ridiculous.<p>and the worst part is, these talkbacks didn't USE to be like this. the more popular the site got, the more whiny bitches showed up. it used to be when there were huge arguments, they were about MOVIES. now we're bitching at some guy mentioning nerd culture in a review of an exciting independent sci-fi movie that he and this site are championing?<p>and don't even get me started on the irony of him mentioning IN HIS REVIEW that he knows he's rambling a little but he's just excited and he knows it's a staple of aintitcool reviews...then getting eviscerated in the talkbacks. or how about the irony of someone writing passionately about nerd culture and what a great time it is, and how great a movie like this comes along, only to have his "fellow nerds" in the talkbacks ignore the movie and whine about his review like someone stole their juice box.<p>sigh...

  • May 4, 2009, 4:08 p.m. CST

    I'll see this in the theater

    by Broseph

    I love rockwell's acting and the concept of the movie is just freaky.

  • May 4, 2009, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Oh please

    by drturing

    four of you are actually more celibate than the indignant trek fans while the majority say this film looks good. You just spent as much text as I did reviewing the thing. I'm no reviewer I'm a long time TBer who was lucky to get some tix and I pitched this review at all of us who feel shortchanged by how stupid most genre movies are, us. Shit though next thing you know you'll be whinig about the quality of dgdb name ripoffs for eighteen paragraphs

  • May 4, 2009, 4:16 p.m. CST


    by furzee

    I'm with you man. I read most of the reviewers preamble, appreciating the sentiment, and finally scrolled a little to the review. No harm, no fowl. What's to get so up in arms about?

  • May 4, 2009, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Saw it on Thursday.

    by Johnny Smith

    Only Rockwell impressed me. The rest was too derivative, but Rockwell constantly impresses me as a performer. The rest of the flick is 2001, Silent Running, Alien, Blade Runner, Gattaca, Code 46 and a bunch of other sci-fi flicks put in a blender.

  • May 4, 2009, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Johnny Smith

    by skimn

    Any Saturn 3 in there..? Minus Kirk Douglas' ass..

  • May 4, 2009, 5:11 p.m. CST

    I don't mind Bowie brand nepotism at all

    by IndustryKiller!

    And I hate to bring it up, but at least this guy waited till his mid thirties, until he had a great idea, and then does something truly original or at least daring for todays CG idiot landscape. Cannot wait for this.

  • May 4, 2009, 5:29 p.m. CST

    I stand corrected & I appreciate getting learned

    by Orionsangels

    The boycott is lifted! Now I can enjoy the movie in peace for all mankind.

  • May 4, 2009, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Only JC's second coming can save us all!

    by standundermyumbrella

    Your'e so right, dr. Turing!

  • May 4, 2009, 5:55 p.m. CST

    DECEMBER 18, 2009

    by standundermyumbrella

    The rise of JC! and the day of our salvation!

  • May 4, 2009, 5:57 p.m. CST

    MOTOKO, I need your input!

    by standundermyumbrella

  • May 4, 2009, 6:14 p.m. CST



    He spams the other boards with all this crazy shit about slurping Bay's precum, and then gets a review posted? A-FUCKING-MEN.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:24 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    I bet Bay's precum tastes like Zima and axe body spray...just by the bye.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:31 p.m. CST

    Zima? Ha. In the words of the great Willem Dafoe...


    "What a fag."<p>Oh yeah...Wonka. I forgot to tell you. Your haikus.... terrifying, yet brilliant and calming.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:37 p.m. CST


    by jimmy_009

    No harm, no "fowl" indeed. I don't know why you're apologizing for what is obviously self-indulgent blathering. He could set up that same sentiment in a single paragraph. Unfortunately like most of the reviewers here he is too in love with his own words.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:38 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    yeah, I have an unhealthy obsession with cats. I actually have a literary agent shopping them around to hopefully be published early next year in a coffee table type thing. here's the guy I'm hoping will be doing the illustrations:<p>

  • May 4, 2009, 6:42 p.m. CST


    by drturing

    You may hate my review but your description of michael bays precum is godly. Also I wish dgdb reviewed movies here. You people ought to read his site it's honestly worth it. That said jumpin to the other side is weird. If I could issue one tb professional challenge it would be a tb where everyone has to say something positive. And seriously this movie is really unique. I honestly want to see what jones would do with Christian bale.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:47 p.m. CST


    by drturing

    Who wants to help me write revenge of the jocks. Can you think of anyone more washed up and pathetic in life than a guy who worships a rod and went from the frat house to wall street? Meanwhile dudes with gross beards who look like the cast of gifted teen sitcom head of the class are elbow deep in model trim.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:49 p.m. CST


    by drturing

    Michael bay is such a nerd. He's like that one nerd who joined the frathouse and tries too hard.

  • May 4, 2009, 6:55 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    did you read any of my above posts? I enjoyed your review brother, scroll up and see.

  • May 4, 2009, 7:04 p.m. CST


    by jimmy_009

    You have a some kind of frat house fetish.

  • May 4, 2009, 7:09 p.m. CST


    by palpster

    What a crap review. This retard needs to take a remedial english course yesterday.

  • May 4, 2009, 7:24 p.m. CST

    Cannot wait!

    by TedKordLives

    I love me some Sam Rockwell. Besides watching the trailer I don't want to know a single thing about this movie. <P> And I am OUTTA HERE! (Scrawling circles on a piece of paper.)

  • May 4, 2009, 7:50 p.m. CST

    oops wonka

    by drturing

    Sorry got names confused.

  • May 4, 2009, 7:52 p.m. CST


    by D.Vader

    Naaaah, just playing. Congrats doc!

  • May 4, 2009, 8:12 p.m. CST

    "And yet."

    by Fico

    I like that. At first I was going to make fun of it, then I realized it was kinda cool. *Staying positive*

  • May 4, 2009, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Our next James Cameron?

    by endust

    Coulda been Avi Nesher, back in the early 1990s. Very promising action director with a nice eye for detail. Wanted to make big sci-fi films but somehow never got around to it.

  • May 4, 2009, 9:09 p.m. CST


    by James_Cummins

    Seeing the word "squid" used in proper context always makes me smile. Thanks Drturing.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:04 p.m. CST


    by The Dark Shite

    You're not anatomically accurate:-).<p> This movie looks fucking great by the way! But then I liked the remake of Solaris, so maybe I'm not the best judge.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Come on Palpster..

    by The Dark Shite

    "This retard needs to take a remedial english course yesterday"... I know that way of using the word "yesterday" is popular, but it sounds pretty dumb when combined with saying someone needs a remedial English course.It's up there with using words like "recognizance" or "Dude,like your car is like really Dude, Dude." <p> The United States of America, you have been found guilty of the murder of the English language. Your sentence is 20 years of American Idol. Enjoy.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:21 p.m. CST

    BadMrWonka -- keep at that dude....


    ...they are seriously funny as fuck. And I actually have the Bunny Suicide book on my coffee table. Publish Cat Haiku, and I will fucking order 2.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:22 p.m. CST



  • May 4, 2009, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Maybe I'm feeling all nostalgic and shit....


    ....but my first memory of MR. WONKA was when he told me the fuck off and bragged about how good his shrimp stir fry smelled. Fuck.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:26 p.m. CST

    My shrimp stir fry..

    by The Dark Shite

    Brings all the boys to the yard.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST



    He was like "I'd love to stay here and chat, but this shrimp stir fry accompanied by a little Sauvignon Blanc, is callin' my name. Aurevua motherfuckers."

  • May 4, 2009, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Ha ha ha..

    by The Dark Shite

    That's classic! <p> Oh & wonka.."Here are some doodles from last year's Olympics . . ." <p> That cracked me up!

  • May 4, 2009, 10:38 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    it was actually tofu stir fry...which is actually worse...and I forget what we were arguing about. how far back was it? was it Studio 60?<p>ironically, I'm currently drinking sauvignon blanc! I just got a new car, AND Manny Pacquiao made me some cash this weekend, so I'm celebrating!<p>and it's "au revoir", dude! you should learn that yesterday! squid! cheat on his wife! kurt russell is laughing! pwned!

  • May 4, 2009, 10:41 p.m. CST

    AU REVOIR.....I'll remember that.....


    ....and use it next time I'm saying farewell to my pool boy. <p>This was probably about a year and a half ago. I have no fucking idea what the topic was....

  • May 4, 2009, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Wouldn't surprise me this guy....

    by jimmy_009

    fancies himself a screenwriter. lol

  • May 4, 2009, 10:45 p.m. CST


    by Chagui

    I was going to bitch, moan and sound all "smart ass" about the above-mentioned review, like some of the idiots around here, but then I read the entire thing and it's not bad at all; in fact, it's a really good review. Come on children, you have to read the entire thing before bitching, moaning, or sounding smart ass on the guys ass. Remember: reading is good, now assholes, goe back jerking off to transexual Kimber James.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:46 p.m. CST

    92.325% of the motherfuckers around here....


    .....fancy themselves screenwriters, myself included. Except mine aren't really intended for sale. They involve a bit too much Gremlin gang rape.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:46 p.m. CST

    drturing FOR CONGRESS


  • May 4, 2009, 10:47 p.m. CST


    by moondoggy2u

    And its nice to know that I'm not alone in my gremlin gang rape fetish. Yessir, nothing like a little GGGW porn to start the day.

  • May 4, 2009, 10:48 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    actually both the screenplays I had first look deals on were passed on. :o( <p>of course only one of them actually got read. the other they just called me during the writer's strike and said don't bother about it. since I'm not WGA, if they DID buy it, they'd look horrible, so they just didn't even bother. oh well.<p> I'm shooting a music video in Portland later this month for the fucking WORST band I've heard in a long time. so that will be excruciating AND low-paying. fucking awesome...

  • May 4, 2009, 10:52 p.m. CST

    Gremlin double penetration from the ground view....


    ....looking straight up, is so bizarre looking. Its just abstract movement. Very disorienting, especially when shit gets crazy and they disengage head from cunt.

  • May 4, 2009, 11 p.m. CST

    oh shit, I found the talkback you mentioned Danny

    by BadMrWonka

    turns out it was "fettucini alfredo with rosemary chicken", but you got the wine right.<p> <p> really embarrassing that when you do a control-f for "wonka" there are 100 ONE talkback.<p>my one-act play is tight, though.<p>man, I was high and mighty, too..listen to this:<p>"as for Mountains of it again. and think about colonialism, think about eugenics, native americans, etc. it's an apology for white imperialism and superiority."<p>shut UP Wonka!!<p>what was your name back then? davo?

  • May 4, 2009, 11:01 p.m. CST

    I tried screenwriting

    by The Dark Shite

    I even got a copy of the Final Draft writing software. <p> But I only got as far as the voice thingy that reads your stuff back like Stephen Hawking. I mainly use it to amuse myself by writing shit when I'm drunk like "Oh baby. Oh yeah. Just like that. Don't stop." <p> It's better than the stuff I usually write, which is high-concept sci-fi shit. Ever written one? You read it back & cringe at the stupid names & silly space ship shit. <p> I usually delete it, then some other prick gets his Humpty Dumpty flick greenlit & you think "Fuck. Maybe I shoulda kept that."

  • May 4, 2009, 11:03 p.m. CST

    Wonka -- you came off like a high falutin prick....


    ....until I actually tried to shoot the shit and realized you're just a dude with a big vocabulary and a serious fucking palette.<p>I was DGDB back then as well, that was right around when I began. But about 6 months into my career my history was fucking deleted for some odd reason.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST


    by Magnum Opus

    I really wish I hadn't watched the trailer. Oh well, this looks good even if you do figure out the "twist."

  • May 4, 2009, 11:06 p.m. CST



    Was that the guy that claimed to be a cop? Fuck those Cloverfield TB's were the bomb!! Actually that is a few months before DGDB. I don't believe I was posting in that one. I think I was just reading it. I'm pretty sure the one I'm talking about was stir fry of some kind.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    What the fuck's a fettucini?

    by The Dark Shite

    Some kind of vegetable or something? <p> & why does Fettucini Alfredo make me think of Al Pacino?

  • May 4, 2009, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Awwww fuck MRX67's post were deleted?


    Those things were fucking epic. The Voltron connection was genius. If he's the guy I'm thinking about he used to say "Now I'm in law enforcement, just try and follow me here..." and lay out this massive theory.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Because of AL and FREDO.....


    Imagine a pile of Jim Henson puppeteered Fettucini screaming "SHE GOT A BIG AAAAAAAAAASS!!!!"

  • May 4, 2009, 11:16 p.m. CST


    by jimmy_009

    I was talking about this reviewer, but thanks for sharing. I think 98% of AICN readers are screenwriters.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:19 p.m. CST

    yeah MRX67 was hilarious...

    by BadMrWonka

    part way through trying to find out who he really was, I realized that if you google "mrx67" the first thing that comes up is a gene for mental retardation. the dude NAMED HIMSELF AFTER A GENE FOR MENTAL RETARDATION.<p> and I am a highfalutin<p>so sad how confident I was about that script. I was so naive about things in hollywood, I thought my agent telling me "they absolutely are going to do it. it's a 100% lock" meant that it was going to happen. who knew?<p>it's rough reading those posts now. mostly because after seeing the finished product of Cloverfield, it was so average, it seems ridiculous to have spent so much time on it.<p>and almost as bad, why the HELL couldn't I ever let things go back then? MRX67 was either joking, 12 years old, or had down syndrome. why couldn't I just ignore it? I count 5 times I Tell him I'm done with him. kinda pathetic.<p>but man I Can turn a phrase. I handed more than a few people their asses in that talkback.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:21 p.m. CST

    There's your screenplay right there!

    by The Dark Shite

    I'd pay to see that movie.<p> I still don't know what a fettucini is, but a town under seige from a gang of muppet Al pacinos could just be your ticket to gremlin gang rape style greatness.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Pacino would voice it too..

    by The Dark Shite

    The little fucker will do anything that lets him shout.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Meet Al & Al, the Fettucini Bros..

    by The Dark Shite

    Comic jugglers extraordinaire. Take out the spaces & enjoy...<p> http://homepage. mac. com/i/hpti/1/wimg/Shared/SlideShow/SlideShow. html?lang=en

  • May 4, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST


    by BiggusDickus

    Peace, fella.<p>It was churlish of me to have a pop when I actually agreed with the stance you were taking, but it seemed almost funny after several ales.<p>Keep fighting the good fight, brother.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST

    The link is shit..

    by The Dark Shite

    Just google the fettucini bros. Funny as fuck.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:31 p.m. CST

    also, this post I wrote should win 3 awards...

    by BadMrWonka

    1. most accurate prediction ever in a TB post<br> 2. most pretentiously written post ever in a TB<p> (as I tell every girl I go out with: this is long, but don't be scared...)<p> a. this marketing campaign is unique<br> b. this marketing campaign is new<br> therefore this marketing campaign will be under close scrutiny by studios.<p> how will the marketing campaign be judged?<br> a. by the success of it's goals in building interest in the film<br> b. by the success of the film, particularly in the first week.<p> considering the amount of energy put into monitoring the success of even traditional film marketing campaigns, this one most have even more sophisticated monitoring, due to the increased scrutiny in its success, and the unique nature of its conception. <p> this marketing campaign is almost solely, if not solely, based on online components, and subsequent online communication. <p> given the fact that going online and looking at websites is generally free, minus the labor costs of the person doing and reporting the monitoring, doesn't it stand to reason that the makers of this film, and in particular, the organizers of the marketing campaign, are closely monitoring the successes, failures and general progress of the campaign. <p> and given that, does it not also stand to reason that someone associated with the movie and/or the campaign will have read every word posted on concerning the subject. especially given Abrams' letter to Harry, I would say it's almost certain. (hi marketing guys/girls!) <p> and if it were failing, or flailing somehow, or if important information that should be out there, was either being overlooked, misinterpreted, or simply not being found, wouldn't they take steps to correct it? (well yes, if it mattered to their marketing campaign...if it didn't affect anything, who cares?) <p> and if they felt that people (ahem, even those that are of somewhat questionable intellectual abilities, perhaps due to their chromosomal make-up) misinterpreting clues or information contained in the campaign, were somehow causing problems in their stated goals, wouldn't they release information (as Abrams did, early on) to correct it? (see above answer) <p> the fact that they haven't done that, leads me to believe the following: <p> a: people being on the wrong track is fine with them, as long as they are talking about the movie<br> b: though smaller assumptions may be incorrect, and smaller groups of people may be under false general assumptions, no general assumptions that we have as normal rational people, are egregiously incorrect<br> c: the fact that new photos on the 1-18-08 site are published with little fanfare, and changes to the Slusho site are made with similar lack of notice (press releases, etc.) mean that the marketers are happy with the level and speed with which the information is being communicated.<br> d: if they're happy, than it must be a successful campaign thus far, and therefore, we will get new information when they have decided to give it to us.<p> this all begs the question: how does this put people in the theaters? <p> as ostentatious as movie marketing can be, it wouldn't have remained relatively unchanged for so long if it weren't effective. a few sites, some geeks, some pictures, that does not get you a huge opening weekend. even with a small budget, and lower expectations. even if this is somewhat of an experiment (which is lent creedence by the release date), both as a film, and as a marketing campaign. <p> I expect, as I'm sure many other people do, that this is simply a lead up to at least a semblance of a normal marketing campaign. meaning: get the internet geeks excited, get some buzz on local TV and press due to the mystery and lack of information (like, a title?), and then after a while, after people are sufficiently excited, but before there is a backlash, you lay everything on them. the title, synopsis, maybe a new trailer, more important stuff on the website, etc. <p> it's a sophisticated version of a give people the riddle, then you let them try to figure it out. they get a little frustrated, they want to know more, but they really don't want you to tell them...then after a certain amount of time, they are too frustrated, and they give up. and then they don't go see your movie in the thaters. <p> Abrams is going to wait until we can't stand it any more, and right then he's going to give us enough new info to satisfy us. enough to satisfy "us" who are already exceedingly curious, and enough to satisfy the general public. and where those groups cross over (since a lot of 18-35 year old males are, you know, "us"), that's just a bonus, since they're almost guaranteed to be in the seats the first week. <p> for a successful campaign that's unique and new, you do the wierd stuff, track it, work it til it's dry, then switch it to something more normal. but the point is, they can't keep this up til January 18th. geeks are hardcore, but we ain't $50 million worth of hardcore. they need the normies who have never heard of AICN, and would never think of analyzing a trailer for hours on end. <p> that's all. (and as I ALSO say to every girl I go out with: thanks for playing along, I hope it was fun...)

  • May 4, 2009, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Pacino prank call...


  • May 4, 2009, 11:38 p.m. CST

    should win 3 awards...

    by The Dark Shite

    "1. most accurate prediction ever in a TB post 2. most pretentiously written post ever in a TB" <p> Where's number 3 man?

  • May 4, 2009, 11:46 p.m. CST

    Harry, give BadMrWonka a job.

    by BiggusDickus

    ...if only so's we can here what he thinks of Megan Fox.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:47 p.m. CST

    That prank call is great!

    by The Dark Shite

    This one isn't Pacino related, but this is the funniest prank call I've ever seen. Chickety China! <p>

  • May 4, 2009, 11:49 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    3. best TB post bracket jokes?<p>I actually meant to type 2, but I'm watching the Lakers game too and not paying enough attention.

  • May 4, 2009, 11:52 p.m. CST

    That Chickety China is funny as fuck.



  • May 5, 2009, 12:17 a.m. CST

    fuck it's taken me an hour to read through that thread

    by BadMrWonka

    I wrote a LOT!!<p>most of it very well written, and VERY useless. someone should have dropped in and pointed out that I was debating this like it was the fall of the Berlin wall, not some dumb monster movie...

  • May 5, 2009, 12:21 a.m. CST

    so I don't get it...

    by MurderMostFowl

    I'll go see Moon just to support SciFi films that explore other themes than action, but after watching the trailer for this, I'm left wondering why the guy has to be alone... that seems pretty lame. Transmission delay via speed of light is only a few seconds... so the whole concept of his "letters" from his wife are kind of silly. If this were some deep space exploration ( I dunno like... Jupiter.. ? Too close to 2001 I guess ) it would make more sense, even mars would have a more significant delay, but the moon just doesn't make sense. <BR><BR> And as for DrTuring syaing this was no 2001, I assume you mean in terms of impact because the trailer sets the movie up to be exactly like 2001, infact the cutesie robot faces only serve to underscore the computer as the deceiver a la HAL. <BR> I hope the movie really does have something to say on its own.

  • May 5, 2009, 12:31 a.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    funny name...<p>"so the whole concept of his "letters" from his wife are kind of silly."<p>yeah, but watch the trailer again. there's nothing to imply they are video letters. they could be on a live feed. or maybe recording a video and sending it was more convenient and cheap. hell, I can "video conference" with my friends across town, but I still send emails cause it's cheaper.<p>and every review of this that I've seen has taken great pains to point out that while this movie obviously owes a lot to 2001 and some other films, it's not just a sad rehash.<p>also, it's Voltron. spoiler alert!

  • May 5, 2009, 12:59 a.m. CST

    "a singular vision, a unique voice" what a pity

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    What a pity Moriarty couldn't have got his hands on draft version of the script during preproduction so that this site could have killed another unique and special film in its infancy. Oh well some of them have to slip through I guess.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:09 a.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    you sound bitter, brother...<p>don't kill a king...there aren't that many left in the world that have any actual power...

  • May 5, 2009, 1:14 a.m. CST

    Regicidal_Maniac -- what film did AICN kill in its infancy?


    The only one I can think of is Fanboys. And that film deserved to waterboarded and beaten until it couldn't remember its own name.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:19 a.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    AICN championed Fanboys, they just hated the changes made by the studio...<p>or are you being tricky...?

  • May 5, 2009, 1:35 a.m. CST


    by otm shank

    You don't mean AVP2 do you? Because the only thing unique or special about that atrocity is the way it brings the bile to my throat.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:42 a.m. CST


    by DOGSOUP

    Thanks guys, between DrTuring's review and the banter through nostalgia of TB's of lore I don't even know why I read the regular articles on this site anymore. Like I give a full fisted handfuck about Wolverine. I was reading the review (skipping the middle because I really would like to know less going in) and thinking "Jesus Titty Fuck this guy is spot on. He should do reviews for this joint." Sure enough scrolling through the TB the headlines were "Learn to Review" and fucking lameass goldfish-attention-spanned self fellatio like that when lo and behold, fucking DGDB chimes in with the correct answer for the win. In conclusion, DrTuring's name reminds me of Neal Stephenson's boner.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:43 a.m. CST

    They thought they could use AICN as their PR machine....


    ....boy were they wrong.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:44 a.m. CST

    This TB proved half these fucks bitter a TB'er was posted....


    ....don't even read the fucking review before sobbing in the sweaty crevice of their mother's massive tits.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:44 a.m. CST

    With Fanboys it was an unintentional sabotage.


    Alright motherfuckers...GOODNIGHT!!!

  • May 5, 2009, 1:45 a.m. CST

    This TB has proven I should say.......FUCK.


  • May 5, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Sex and the city

    by deanbarry

    that damn fucking trailer is doing my head in!

  • May 5, 2009, 2:03 a.m. CST

    I was referring to JJ's Superman script killed by AICN

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    And I was being snarkily facetious. 'Moon' looks awesome, a friend saw it at the Berlinale a few months back and says extols its awesomeness.

  • May 5, 2009, 2:04 a.m. CST

    deanbarry - oh me too man

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    Fuck BigPond!

  • May 5, 2009, 2:56 a.m. CST

    Hmm. Nerds.

    by Toonol

    The reviewer might be right about the rise of a certain amount of cultural respect for the nerd. That would be great; one of the reasons we're getting our economic butts kicked by certain other countries is because they actually RESPECT INTELLIGENCE AND EDUCATION! Crazy, I know. They just don't see the value of a good high school quarterback, I guess.<p> Although I stopped reading after the review lumped me in with Barack Obama. Please don't do that. It makes me uncomfortable, and he probably wouldn't like it much either. (However, feel free to lump me in with James Cameron any time! He's got my vote for president.) Also, I stopped reading at that point because it seemed like the reviewer was going to eventually get around to actually talking about the movie, and I didn't want to read any spoilers.<p> Cameron in 2012! Unless he's still working on Battle Angel, in which case Cameron in 2016!<p> I'm not drinking. Just tired, I guess.

  • May 5, 2009, 3:20 a.m. CST


    by deanbarry

    I have to hurry, it's on again. But damn man, it's making me lose interest on reading the posts. I just wanna get the hell out! Big pond...screw you, bitches. Ruining my cool news! At least be advertising Star Trek or something remotely cool!

  • May 5, 2009, 3:30 a.m. CST

    Is there life on Mars?

    by Dingbatty

  • May 5, 2009, 4:56 a.m. CST

    wasn't Die hard killed by AICN?

    by MurderMostFowl

    wasn't quite in its infancy, but I was shocked at how fast the latest die hard plummeted like a rock with an anvil tied to it in a cartoon world

  • May 5, 2009, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the review DrTuring

    by irritable

    Been waiting for this one since I saw Sam Rockwell in the trailer.<p> Fuck the 14 year old literary style police on this TB and their self-aggrandizing put-downs of the AICN review house style.<p> Quite enjoyed the bio-confessional digression.

  • May 5, 2009, 7:18 a.m. CST

    The thing about obama

    by drturing

    Was meant as an observation about his public image: smooth, charismatic, cool. But I think behind that facade - and all politicans have one - lies a somewhat bland nerdtron a guy who says "doggoneit". Post bush that's what secretly want. We had the jock CEO president. It didn't go well. <p> Thanks for the kind words. I don't fancy myself a writer. Just someone who loves movies. Juat cause you love them isnt enough to make you good at making them. Besides given my life it's impossible. For all the shit I give harry this is the place where I discovered let the right one in and oldboy and the iron giant. More importantly TB. But I shall not rest until I've seen "danny glovers dickblood swells for the new terence malick".

  • May 5, 2009, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Precisely Jarring

    by K|LLDOZER

    because this review stands out as an actual composition with real ideas among a sea of hastily peck-typed geekshout. Someone hire Dr. Turing for a regular beat, all up in this bitch. Excellent review, and the line about "water on Mars" hit like a roundhouse. looking forward to the next review, good Doctor.

  • May 5, 2009, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I didnt even fu*king read that.

    by lotor666

    A skim was all I needed to see this guy just talks shit!

  • May 5, 2009, 10:16 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    You lucky bastard for getting tkts for this. I hope it opens in NYC. Sounds so intriguing. Shit like Bayformers and Wolverine make me sick, but gems like Sunshine, Watchmen and Knowing make up for it. Great review / essay.

  • May 5, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    I hope it's not what I think it is. If it's something other than what I think it is, I hope it's better than what I expect.

  • May 5, 2009, 12:59 p.m. CST

    I hate Spacey's voice

    by Animation

    Oh well. Maybe I'll like this anyway.

  • May 5, 2009, 1:28 p.m. CST


    by drturing

    I swear it's not what it's about. It's how it's about it

  • May 5, 2009, 1:39 p.m. CST

    I just had a crazy fuckin idea

    by drturing

    Harry should have a weekly review of a smaller film Via screener by a different professional talkbacker each time

  • May 5, 2009, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Hire drturing, Harry!

    by geekzapoppin

    Seriously, the site has been lacking a genuinely literate and entertaining writer ever since Mori left. This review reminded me of the days when I first started reading the site. drturing, I salute you. Great stuff. I'd read your rants any time. To those of you man-teated sweat factories who never leave your mother's trailer and divide your time between cooking meth and criticizing other people's writing, I say a big "go fuck a wasp's nest."

  • May 5, 2009, 8:22 p.m. CST

    I just watched the trailer for the first time.....

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD looks fucking killer. The effects are unbelievable for a film this small. I don't get what you guys are saying that trailer spoiled. I can think of about 10 scenarios that can come out of the that trailer. It just left me puzzled.