Movie News

Here's a hi-res look at Zombie's unMyers!

Published at: April 29, 2009, 10:20 p.m. CST

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Listen, I had my bouts with Rob Zombie over his script and eventual remake of John Carpenter's immortal HALLOWEEN. I got angry with Zombie last time because if anyone should have gotten what made HALLOWEEN work it should have been him. If you've seen him talk about the original he gets it. He knows better. But when you're remaking a classic you're in a tough spot. You do a straightforward remake, then what's the point? But if you stray too far from the material it just feels like you're a grave robber, violating the corpse of someone beloved. I hated his film just as much as I hated the script. Zombie managed to somehow stray too far and follow the original too closely. That takes real talent. But for some reason I think I'm going to have fun with H2. It might not be the fun Zombie intends, though. The last trailer looked good until that crazy white-cake make-up monster showed up. I don't know... now that he's not messing with the Myers backstory I think it'll be easier for me to enjoy this for what it is... I'm expecting a trainwreck, but at least Zombie seems to be swinging for the fences. If it's good, I'll enjoy myself. If it's as bad as I think it's going to be, it'll be it's own special kind of fun. So, win-win for me this time around. All that said, let's get a good look at angry Tyler Mane as bag-lady Michael Myers! (click to make big)


Readers Talkback

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  • April 29, 2009, 10:09 p.m. CST

    first!

    by Duke of Hurl

  • April 29, 2009, 10:10 p.m. CST

    He's wearing the fucking mask.

    by Duke of Hurl

    How can you call it "unMyers"?

  • April 29, 2009, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Why the gratuitous Alice Cooper poster?

    by Yotz Von Frelnik

    I don't know, just feels like a forced element of window dressing.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:14 p.m. CST

    I guess the classic Myers wasn't 'White-trashy' enough.

    by jimmay

    Christ, Zombie is a one-miss wonder. Is he going to employ slow-mo sequences with Creedence and Skynyrd playing as well?

  • April 29, 2009, 10:16 p.m. CST

    The Devil's Rejects

    by Juror Number 8

    is fucking awesome. the Halloween remake was garbage.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Zombies Halloween

    by boogy110

    Was his only decent movie ever. I walked out of House of 1000 Corpses and returned the rented Devils Rejects before I even finished the movie. Halloween was the only one I sat through in it's entirety and enjoyed.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Um, this IS Halloween right?

    by lockesbrokenleg

    He looks like Jason Vorhees.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Where the hell is this from?

    by ROBRAM89

    Is Rob Zombie so desperate that he's giving exclusives to people who hate his movie?

  • April 29, 2009, 10:17 p.m. CST

    I feel sorry for you boogy110.

    by Duke of Hurl

  • April 29, 2009, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Does Rob do the costume design too?

    by S-Mart shopper

    Not the pic I would use to promote this film. But if I saw this mutherfucker in a dark alley I would turn back the other way, homeless people scare me!

  • April 29, 2009, 10:18 p.m. CST

    That looks like the Scarecrow

    by CherryValance

    turned to the Dark Side and got his mask stuck in a door and it half ripped off.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:20 p.m. CST

    I am quite fond of the Devil's Rejects

    by Gwai Lo

    Whereas I can only try to be fond of Mr. Zombie's other stuff. I don't outright hate his Halloween remake, I just thought it was a failed experiment that he should have just moved on from. I really wanted him to make Tyrannosaurus Rex. I guess I've maintained this bare vestige of hope that he would pull a complete 180 like he dead with the Devil's Rejects, but I just don't think he has the sensibilities for the world of Halloween and Lil Mikey.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:22 p.m. CST

    like he *did

    by Gwai Lo

    dead, heh

  • April 29, 2009, 10:25 p.m. CST

    I'm probably gonna get flak for this...

    by tolomey

    but I really liked his take on Halloween. Then again, I LOVED The Devil's Rejects, but hated Corpses.<br> I think I've finally learnt through watching lots of shitty remakes over the years that even if Zombie's Halloween did suck then the original is still out there and it will still be discovered by generations to come.<br> I am however not too sure where he is going with the ghost of Mommy Myers. But like Quint, I'm willing to go along for the ride.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:26 p.m. CST

    Please stop

    by Eonz_Higlo

    POSTING USELESS FUCKING INFORMATION!! YOU'VE GOT 1 OUT OF 100 PEOPLE THAT LIKE THIS MOVIE. Not exactly enough to warrant posting stupid shit like this. jesus man, what happened to your inner reporter?

  • April 29, 2009, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Zombie's Halloween...

    by I_Snake_Plissken

    ...was a strange viewing experience. It was like watching a white-trashed version of the original on fast forward. However, it was better than most of the sequels (part 5 with the druidic nonsense, part 6 with the running Myers, the rock music score, and the ridiculous Thorn crap ) The first half was actually somewhat interesting - you could tell Zombie had an interest in the material - the 2nd half was a retread intended to satisfy a hard core fan base that would never be satisfied with ANY remake. Zombie's films are all over the place, but he does some great stuff with visuals. Anybody who cares about the supposed sanctity of the franchise might want to refresh themselves with a quick viewing of the epic fistfight between Myers and Busta Rhymes from Halloween resurrection. Whatever Zombie does with the sequel, there's no way he can fuck it up - the Halloween franchise is already in the gutter, there's nowhere to go but up.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:28 p.m. CST

    if I"m not mistaken...

    by maxwell's hammer

    ...that surly creature appears to have the Swine Flu.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Myers took that jacket off a punk at an Alice Cooper concert

    by Gwai Lo

  • April 29, 2009, 10:29 p.m. CST

    I'm not entirely convinced, but

    by cookepuss

    that pic doesn't look so bad. I always had a hard time believing that MM had kept a 20+ year old mask in pristine condition. These latex things can't stand a vigorous movie shoot, much less a long term murder spree. I'd half expect the mask to be messed up.<p> <p> On the other hand... This is Zombie. He's going to fuck this up anyway. He's no John Carpenter. He's barely a step up above Ed Wood and Uwe Bowl. BARELY. I'm more convinced than not H2 will be "affectionately be referred to as NUMBER TWO - shit.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Liev Schrieber to play Myers in H3

    by Gwai Lo

    Already practicing gymnastics routines

  • April 29, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Ed Wood and Uwe Boll are far from the bottom

    by Gwai Lo

    And Zombie is talented in many respects. Watch the Making Of documentary on Devil's Rejects if you think he's full of shit. Anyway, have you ever say through an entire Ed Wood, Uwe Boll, or Rob Zombie movie? Exactly, they're not the worst.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:33 p.m. CST

    ever *sat

    by Gwai Lo

    Christ I'm losing my mind

  • April 29, 2009, 10:37 p.m. CST

    What's the point...

    by Next_Wednesday

    honestly, does anyone actually care about any of this. Can we have some new ideas please? We need more films like Behind the Mask.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Next_Wednesday

    by Gwai Lo

    Is that deliberate irony, or is it unintentional?

  • April 29, 2009, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Rob

    by Quint

    That's not an exclusive, but a widely sent press release photo. Never said it was exclusive and you're right... I (understandably) doubt Zombie would throw anything our way.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:40 p.m. CST

    Wednesday

    by Quint

    Behind the Mask is great! Big, big fan of that flick. Such a great twist on the genre, somehow done without being completely stupid.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:41 p.m. CST

    Quint

    by Gwai Lo

    What do you think of Vern's take on it?

  • April 29, 2009, 10:41 p.m. CST

    HOMELESS MICHAEL MYERS

    by F-18

    Don't give him any money, he'd just use it to buy booze.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:45 p.m. CST

    ...watching 'Grindhouse' on Encore just now

    by jimmay

    Regardless of where you fall in the whole Death Proof vs. Planet Terror argument--and let's please not revive that tired old tune today--I think we can all agree that Zombie's trailer is the lamest part in the whole package. I even like Roth's 'Thanksgiving', and I despise the Hostel films, but Zombie's contribution is sadly unaware of its own ridiculousness.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Zombie Halloween

    by VegasRonReturns

    was absolute shit.<p> Go back to making hillbilly metal, RZ.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Horror films are dead.

    by cinemixtape.com

    It's all over. There hasn't been a good one in over a decade.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:48 p.m. CST

    Quint

    by Bloo

    BEHIND THE MASK SUCKED monkey fighting testes<P>the concept was good, and the execution up to a point was good but once it stopped being a documentary and turned into a substandard thriller, it stopped working for me. I liked Englund's casting but Zelda, no matter how good she is, felt out of place. I could also see the victim being telegraphed a mile away for something that was supposed to be a shocker<P>as for H2 I still haven't seen Zombies take on #1 but I LIKE the look of Myers in that shot

  • April 29, 2009, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Ed Wood

    by cookepuss

    Yeah. I did kinda stick it to him. He's under appreciated. That's not to say that he was ever a genius, but his filmmaking had some inspired moments.<p> <p> Uwe Boll's work is unquestionably bad though. And, yeah, I have sat through his garbage before. Its atrocious. How he can gather a cast of fairly decent actors like Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, and so forth for such an AMAZING piece of shit like Dungeon Siege is beyond me. The man somehow hucks out turd after turd like he was a manure distributor. That he even gets work shows that Hollyweird has no soul. I'm not a Uwe Hater, but this douche has an epic ego that it TOTALLY undeserved. <p> <p> Say what you will about much maligned directors like Bay or McGLT, but the true evils are Uwe & Zombie. They need to be put down and out of OUR misery.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:49 p.m. CST

    The first one...

    by enderandrew

    The first one didn't piss me off enough. I want to stand outside a theater where this is showing and punch anyone who pays to see this.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Kinda old news

    by BCfreeB

    Seen this a few other places already today. http://tinyurl.com/ctmncp And this looks really bad. To steal someone else's phrase, "Phantom of the Opera on Crack." Just sayin'.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    This movie will UnSuck

    by ThePilgrim

    Everyone in this film is out of their fucking minds. Myers is just plain cruel in this one. No single kill will be quick or easy to witness. What you saw Otis do in TDR to the Banjo family is only half close to how visceral Myers rage will be played out in this one. Deaths will be prolonged and difficult to watch. Myers also goes the saddist route on one of the characters. Toying with them for whatever reasons you just can't explain. There's a bunch of secrets none of you guys know. Even the trailer manages to fuck with you on something you are all going to eat crow over later. I wasn't too big on the remake, so I hear the fears, but you are wrong this time. This half mask has a story. I don't want to ruin it, but if you think this is the biggest visual change to Michael, If you think the Mom bit is played the way it looks, well you are wrong! <P> Part of the films gimmick is not seeing what you thought you did. Rob is pulling yours legs real hard, and many of you are falling for it. He double filmed a few scenes to keep things secret. He doesn't want the fans to ruin the film for themselves. So some of what you see is not what you will get. Believe it!

  • April 29, 2009, 10:53 p.m. CST

    Duke of hurl

    by boogy110

    WHy feel sorry for me, I just couldn't stand Corpses or Rejects. I waited over 3 yrs from the first trailer to watch 1000 corpses and when I finally watched it was so dissapointed that the movie was basically laughable.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Yeah after Behind the Mask

    by Series7

    All movies like this are going to suck. Because not only did Behind the Mask make fun of them they made a bad ass version of those movies. My biggest problem of H1 is the second half of the movie, its just boring. I thought Rob had a good origin half but the chasing half sucked hard.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Promoting Devil's Rejects

    by enderandrew

    What impressed me was reading interviews with Zombie when he was promoting Devil's Rejects. He seemed like a very intelligent guy who has a grasp on character based films. I didn't like House of 1,000 Corpses. Devil's Rejects is a better film, because of stupid shock BS, it is a character driven revenge flick. Even that I didn't enjoy that much. I though he might have a decent take on Halloween, but he destroyed all the tenets of the story while aping the second half of the film shot-for-shot. And this pic just looks terrible. It isn't frightening or original. I loved how powerful the moment was when Myers takes off his mask for his niece. Myers does just look like a bum here. Please, rethink this look if it isn't too late. I'd take just perhaps white face paint if you want to show a bit of the damned actor underneath. But this look is terrible.

  • April 29, 2009, 10:55 p.m. CST

    It's Leatherface!

    by zombie_buffet

    ...in a Halloween movie! (That is a mask made of human skin, isn't it? It sure looks like one...)

  • April 29, 2009, 11:01 p.m. CST

    I HATE YOU, ROB ZOMBIE!!!!! RETIRE FROM FILM NOW!!!!!!

    by JuanSanchez

  • April 29, 2009, 11:05 p.m. CST

    Jinmay, Grindhouse

    by Continentalop

    Actually, I thought Zombie's trailer was one of the few highlights of Grindhouse. He was the only one who seemed to have any knowledge of the actual bad exploitation movies that used to be shown. His was a good parody of Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS, SS Hell Camp and Love Camp 7. <p> My question about Grindhouse has always been how does QT fuck up a movie with Kurt Russell as a psycho stunt car in a deathproof car. How?

  • April 29, 2009, 11:06 p.m. CST

    ED WOOD

    by Continentalop

    Yeah Wood was bad. God awful actually. But his films had heart and soul at least. <p> McG has neither of those. His films are soulless pieces of shit.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:07 p.m. CST

    @ThePilgrim etc

    by cookepuss

    The problem with Zombie's vision is that the original "Halloween" wasn't about the violence. It was about the horror.<p> <p> Horror and violence are not the same thing. That's the biggest mistake made in the past 10 years by creators in this genre.<p> <p> The original movie managed a fair number of kills without ever being far beyond PG-13 violence. Still, the movie scared and continues to scare the shit out of me. <p> <p> There was a build up. The violence was never over the top, but it never had to be. Each death was shocking in that the camera was never afraid of looking away. It made us that much more afraid because this "Boogeyman" didn't feel as much superhuman as he did super disturbed.<p> <p> In modern "horror" flicks like the Zombie remake, Saw2+, and the Hostel flicks it's all about violence for the sake of violence. Cheap thrills in exchange for scares the chill you to the bone. Modern horror is nothing more than so-called torture porn, barely more than if not actual snuff films.<p> <p> I have little to no confidence in modern horror. Few writers or directors know what it's all about. <p> <p> Horror is about fear, the stuff that hits us at a deeply emotional level. Visceral has nothing to do with it. <p> <p> Taken outside of the increased level of silliness of the rest of the series, the original Nightmare on Elm Street remains a terrifying horror classic because it deals with something we have no control over. We all have to sleep. At this time, we're the most vulnerable. It's not about the fact that there's a killer. It's about that there's a killer from which no amount of running or fighting can save you. That's terrifying. <p> <p> No Rob Zombie Halloween movie can succeed on this level because he seems to miss the point entirely. Michael Meyers will continue to cheat death like some voodoo enhanced zombie fuckwad. <p> <p> Post-Halloween 2 Michael Meyers is simply NOT scary because there's something wholly cartoony about his ability to cheat death. I can accept this from someone like Freddy or Jason. The entire premise hinges on their initial death defying nature. Michael Meyers is just a disturbed sociopath who should in no way have damn near superhuman strength, regeneration, and near invulnerability/immortality.<p> <p> Rob Zombie will only complicate the fact that Halloween shout have NEVER continued beyond the Carpenter "next day" sequel.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Nevermind the fact that

    by cookepuss

    Zombie makes so many poor choices in the course of pursuing his "vision". EX. His wife can't act for shit. Not even horror movie quality acting either. The fact that he gets her "in" when she has no place is worse than Kevin Smith's own nepotism.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by Gwai Lo

    The thing with all these guys, and why not: Bay, McG, Ratner, Shamalan, whoever nukes the fridge this summer season... they may have some utterly banal movies on their resumes, but they just aren't anywhere close to the worst. If you've watched any of their movies in their entirety, it kind of confirms that their films can be watched in their entirety. I don't think I need to go through their resumes, but if you picked out the best film from each of these directors you'd have a collection that is only bad, instead of awful. If you are referring to big blockbuster type directors with actual name recognition, then I still think there are worse. Those joyless fucks who do all the (Insert Genre Here) Movies, for instance. How many thousands of films out there come out each year that I would have zero interest in watching, while I actually will watch anything Zombie does? There are films out there, made by people who are utterly inept in all walks of life, that nevertheless are finished and burned onto a DVD and available somewhere for you to watch. They exist, and they are so bad that they make Rob Zombie look like Orson Welles. I feel to even name one would be reductive of my argument. OK fine, that Proud American POS/PSA that came out last year.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:11 p.m. CST

    RE: McG & soulless

    by cookepuss

    I'm ashamed to admit it, but the Charlie's Angels series of flicks was enjoyable on a popcorn level. Cheesy and goofy, but fun enough if you turn off your brain. It's not ever going to be Die Hard or Bond, but it was never meant to be. Every diet has to make an allowance for candy corn and cotton candy. McG, at the very least, knows how to spin some brainless candy.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:15 p.m. CST

    @ Gwai Lo.....

    by cookepuss

    At the same time, some of this movies are only watchable because they have the budget not to offend entirely. Candy covered shit is still shit. The fact that you can taste the yummy sugar coating doesn't excuse the fact that you'll end up sick to your stomach from a large meal of turd. <p> <p> Watchable bad movies are only watchable by the most incredible slight of hand ever made... Money.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:15 p.m. CST

    Wait... how is this new one not fucking with the backstory?

    by Kirbymanly

    His mommy is making him kill? How un-Myers and additional layers of backstory is that?

  • April 29, 2009, 11:16 p.m. CST

    Damn clicky....

    by cookepuss

    A really bad movie with polished production values is still a really bad movie.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Charlie's Angels

    by enderandrew

    The first one was fun. It didn't take itself seriously, and it was fun. The second one wasn't as great.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Whine whine bitch

    by caruso_stalker217

    Carpenter's HALLOWEEN has not been raped by this Zombie fellow. It is still out there to be enjoyed by us nerds. And I will continue to enjoy HALLOWEEN '07. The shittily-titled H2 is my most anticipated film of the summer/year.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:19 p.m. CST

    This a joke???

    by Flapjacktits

    Or more DONKEY BALLS???

  • April 29, 2009, 11:19 p.m. CST

    Tattered wardrobe with leather jacket - gimmie a break

    by Professor_Monster

    The original Meyers didn't need to wear a tattered clothes - know why? He was fucking crazy. People like Rob who wear this kind of shit do it for costume factor - it's a conscious decision (much like the scary mask his Meyers builds in the first one.). A true psycopathic brain doesn't operate on the level of conscious decisions made to scare or intimidate other people. Fucking stupid - just like Rob's teen angst music and his Harley Tattoo wife. This is VH1 Halloween.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Professor_Monster

    by Duke of Hurl

    You sound like a moron.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:22 p.m. CST

    So if it grosses like 10 bucks at the box office

    by lockesbrokenleg

    They made their money back, so we get another one?

  • April 29, 2009, 11:22 p.m. CST

    It aint got Mr A-Number 1 in it...

    by Flapjacktits

    so it's going to blow DONKEY BALL CHUNKS

  • April 29, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    enderandrew

    by CaptainAxis

    White facepaint? Really? Are you weird bitches THAT autistic over the "white mask" image? That's the most retarded thing I've read in a while.<br> <br> I'm inclined to believe ThePilgrim and you whining bitches are pissing yourselves for nothing. The Sheri scene is probably a dream/hallucination or some kind of mindfuck that isn't a big deal. Where were you wanna-be Halloween protectors when we were getting shit like H20 and fucking Resurrection? I hope your sniveling asses were all over these talkbacks pissing and bitching then, because THOSE were truly shit films. I'm not a big fan of the remake, but it stomps the hell out of either of those two rancid shitpiles.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Is "nukes the fridge" the new "jump the shark"?

    by S-Mart shopper

    I've missed lots of TB's since Indy 4, I'm just curious.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Not whining per se

    by cookepuss

    The original is still intact simply because Zombie reinterpreted instead of actually remaking it. <p> <p> How would you feel if, in 20 years, some 25 year old hot shot director remade Star Wars and made it all about the battles and tech, but somehow lost the soul of the story. That's what's happened and continues to happen with these remakes. Something is lost in translation because the nuances of the original design is lost. I shudder at the thought at the idea that somebody may eventually remake THX, which was already brilliant as-is.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:25 p.m. CST

    I like Rob Zombie's movies a lot.

    by Duke of Hurl

    And I dare you to come up with an intelligent argument to the contrary. As someone who enjoys watching movies more than talking shit about them, I've had a blast watching the three to date. Repeatedly.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:26 p.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by caruso_stalker217

    I think somebody already did that. See Episodes 1 through 3. <p>But I hear where you're coming from.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Must be getting late because I

    by cookepuss

    can't type or form sentences for squat now. LOL

  • April 29, 2009, 11:26 p.m. CST

    "Did you see H2?"

    by S-Mart shopper

    "Yeah, Zombie really nuked the fridge on that one!"<p>I like it.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:30 p.m. CST

    Duke of Hurl

    by Continentalop

    You can like whatever movies you like. I can't stop you. <p> But I can say that I found Rob Zombie's movies lacking. I mean, House of 1,000 Corpses was just all over the map. The movie had no plot and no pacing whatsoever, and was just a bunch of random scenes thrown together. <p> Two examples of my problem with it: the horrible flash cuts to weird images for no reason (what so he trying to achieve with that? To me it was just some guy who has never been in front of an Avid or Final Cut before and wanted to play with all the plugins); and two the death of the first girl where Sherri Moon chases her around and than suddenly pops up and kills her in one boring moment - no suspense, no tension, not even the squirmishness that you would expect from a movie that was supposed to be so "gruesome>: You might have viewed those scenes differently DUke of Hurl, but that is how I saw them.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:31 p.m. CST

    There is no prob. It's not John & Debras Halloween

    by ThePilgrim

    It's his now! Get over it, or move on. You will always have the original film to watch. Fuck does every remake have to be the same fucking story retold. Hammer films did it without doing that!!!!!!!! This is why I'm so pissed off with the Phoned In Remake Script for "A Nightmare On Elmstreet" which I'll say again no one on this site has chimed in on. Fuck i sent you guys a copy of the damn script. Tina and Rod's characters return, and die pretty much the same way. Only difference is the Tina character Kris is played out on the audience as the main character. She survives up until the halfway mark of the film, and she dies exactly as Tina did in the original. Kris dreams are boring, fuck they cut from the opening death scene right into another nightmare at the dead fuckers funeral, not even 5 minutes later. The only new inclusion in the film is the "Freddy might have touched me as a kid angle" for all the victims involved. turns out he did. Did I ruin it for ya. So sorry I save you money and time, when you go watch is later this year you will agree that it was a piece of shit. Could Jackie be a good Krueger? Most definitely! He might make this piece of shit remake mildly watchable, but the overall story, the nightmares the dumb subrape plot, there was no intelligence behind it. It not even trying to be it's own film like those Hammer versions were. It's a fucking floating turd man! The original kills are lame. The webcam death takes the fucking cake for dumbest. Nancy doesn't exist until the halfway mark she just an ipod listening art Goth chick until then...... Fuck!!!!!!!!!!! They could have told so many different tales, but instead they took crib notes on the original, passed them onto the writer and told him to write a screenplay with these parts still included! Fuck!!!!!! You do what Hammer films did. You keep the spirit of the villain true, but you tell your own fucking movie!

  • April 29, 2009, 11:32 p.m. CST

    @caruso_stalker217

    by cookepuss

    LOL. Almost on point. Lucas added to the mythos, but tarnished the legend. Still, it was his his toybox to mess up anyway. It doesn't take away from my love of 4-6, but it does take away from my belief that Lucas' genius knew no bounds. Now, I simply look at him as a sad, shallow shell of the creator he once was. Kinda like the movie version of comic legends like Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and Stan Lee. Lucas had his moment in the sun and mistakenly believed that lightning would strike twice, forgetting that the movie world moved on without him.<p><p>REGARDLESS.... <p><p>Bad remakes and sequels are being made by creators who almost entirely miss the cultural and creative significance of the source material.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:32 p.m. CST

    "soulless pieces of shit"

    by slone13

    A bit overly dramatic there Continentalop, no? And to say that "We Are Marshall" has no heart or soul is just flat out wrong.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Behind The Mask is fantastic.

    by dimnix

    And this photograph is retarded. Even by giving Myers a redneck/abusive background and therefore taking away the one thing that made him interesting (the child that is purely evil for seemingly no reason) - atleast Zombie kept the soulless mask. But now this? Ack. If Zombie wants to make movies about redneck killers with mommy issues, he should have signed onto the Friday The 13th franchise.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:39 p.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by CaptainAxis

    In the original Halloween, I seem to recall Michael absorbing a fucking knitting needle to the eyeball and walking away from being shot AND falling off a goddamn balcony. Not to mention his uncanny, almost supernatural ability to hide from the authorities despite his size and distinct, unique appearance - hello, HE'S WEARING A BRIGHT WHITE MASK. Who the hell are you trying to kid?<br> <br> Funny how you bastards bitch about wanting more realism in Watchmen and Terminator, yet Zombie's changes are all about realism. How fucking realistic is it that Michael could move around undetected in that same outfit in the original franchise? And the mask and coveralls don't get dirty or worn out? Or does he somehow manage to find new coveralls and mask exactly like his old ones in each film? Zombie's version of the character brings him into the real world, much like The Devil's Rejects did with the characters from House of 1,000 Corpses.<br> <br> As for the last half of the remake, I'm no insider but I call studio/Akkad interference. Pretty obvious how different the two halves of the movie are, and the ending is completely against the tone Zombie set early on. That's probably why he wasn't so hot about doing a sequel right away.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:39 p.m. CST

    stone13

    by Continentalop

    A bit of an exaggeration, yes. But I do find his work "soulless.: McG seems to operate only in the world of the studios, putting together what they want and not making anyone feel anything towards them. Even emotional scenes seem mechanical to me, as if it was a by the numbers thing he had to do. <P> And he is not alone.Look at Brett Ratner - the guy can make a movie like Red Dragon and not have you care one iota about the characters in it. McG, Ratner and some others might be "technically" good directors, but their work is devoid of a certain intangible quality which makes you actually care or feel like the real world. Their work is to film what the pod people are to humans; look like one and can fool you, but if you examine one carefully you'll see they are devoid of emotion and soul.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:40 p.m. CST

    @ThePilgrim

    by cookepuss

    "It's his now! Get over it, or move on. You will always have the original film to watch."<p> <p> I agree with you in part. We'll always have the original. The series IS his now. HOWEVER, the inspiration will never be his. Puffy can remix as ms many old 80s tunes as he wants, but the brilliance of the originals will forever be beyond his grasp. Same with Zombie.<p> <p> I don't have anything against the IDEA of remaking movies. That shit was happening before I was born. It just bothers me when the remakes seem like they're part of a cash cow scheme. <p> <p> The way I see it, remake a movie or make a sequel ONLY if the remakes or sequels need to be made. The original 2 Carpenter movies never needed any sequels. In fact, the first was darn near perfect. The second was flawed and perhaps deserved a 2nd chance. I just don't see why this series needed a reboot, apart from making more money. Creatively, the series hit its logical end after #2. Creatively, it told a complete story that didn't need expansion or revision. <p><p> Like you said, the originals still exist. Instead of trying to cram soulless next-gen hacks off of the classics, why not introduce this generations to the real deals instead?

  • April 29, 2009, 11:41 p.m. CST

    I have to add

    by Continentalop

    While I don't like McG and Ratner's work, I don't want people to think that I don't think they are not trying. I think they are doing the best they can; I just don't think they have that quality to make people really invest into their movies or make something that will cause an honest emotional reaction.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Looks like...

    by Herewereyouwish

    someone who spent 20 bucks to dress up as a shitty Myers for halloween.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:46 p.m. CST

    knitting needle

    by cookepuss

    It WAS kinda absurd. However, he still wasn't invulnerable. The 2nd movie did show that he was bleeding a bit. They rolled back the needle to the eye thing probably only for the sake of keeping him walking around convincingly for the next 2 hours. LOL<p> <p> If anything, I liken his "apparent" invulnerability in #1 & #2 to that of a coked up junkie. In short burts, that shit works. Eventually, well, he's gonna bleed like mutha. <p> <p> Every sequel just amped up that crazed, lack of pain center thing and turned it into actual invulnerability. His humanity was totally lost. I've seen TV cuts of the original where they totally cut the bit where Michael's face is briefly shown near the end. That diminishes the fact that HE can, or at least could, be as vulnerable as a normal person. Crazed and on an adrenaline rush, but still human.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:47 p.m. CST

    BTW: Zombie's remake is NOT about realism

    by cookepuss

    It's about visual excess with a splash of backstory.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:48 p.m. CST

    HALLOWEEN II was boring fucking bullshit

    by caruso_stalker217

    Give me HALLOWEEN 4 over that turd any day.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Original Halloween

    by CaptainAxis

    I love it, but it's FAR from perfect and the people who made it have said as much. That gives it some of its charm, but it was originally conceived as a B-movie slasher about a babysitter killer. It transcends that concept, but it wasn't intended as the flawless, untouchable work of art you're making it out to be. Give me a fucking break.<br> <br> Don't even bring Carpenter's Halloween II into the argument. Why was that kid that got killed in the street dressed like Michael? Was "coveralls and white mask" a popular Halloween costume that year? Dumb.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:53 p.m. CST

    You know what I would love to see in a slasher movie?

    by Continentalop

    Is maybe NOT a giant, invulnerable killer. If Zombie (or someone) else really wanted to do a revisionist slasher movie, maybe have the killer be weak and feel powerless (like how many serial killers feel in real life). I don't know about anyone else, but I think it might be scarier to have a killer who seems like someone could have stepped out of the real world versus a nearly indestructible juggernaut. <p> Maybe it is time to go back to Norman Bates as the template instead of Myers and Jason.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Damn that last post I wrote

    by Continentalop

    reads like a fucking 10-year old wrote it. I need a beer.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by Duke of Hurl

    They spent the first HALF of Rob Zombie's Halloween developing Michael Myers. "a splash of backstory"... did you even watch the fuckin movie? Your equation of Myers to a cokehead pretty much sums up the ignorance of our generation.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:56 p.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by caruso_stalker217

    What I love about the original is the mystery of Michael Myers. You see glimpses of him, like when he crawls over the car in his hospital gown and that brief shot of his face at the end, but other than that he's a complete blank, an unexplained force. He's the shark in JAWS. There's absolutely no reason for him to be going around stabbing the shit out of people, there's no reason he should keep getting up after getting stabbed and shot and burned and so on. <p>That being said, I think Tyler Mane is an excellent Myers. Yeah, the mystique is gone and it's a little hard to buy him as the unstoppable motherfucker after he's set up as a regular crazy fuck with a shitty childhood, but come on the dude is slamming Ken Foree through a fucking bathroom partition. That shit is hardcore. <p>By the way, how many of you guys have seen the ridiculously-long documentary on the making of Zombie's HALLOWEEN? Even if you don't like the movie I would highly recommend it, seeing as we all seem to be movie geeks here because this is a site for that type of shit. Anyway, it goes through every day of shooting and there's lots of fun shit in there.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    As with any art, flawless is a bit subjective

    by cookepuss

    As the original stands, it needed no revision. By the creator's admission and likely definition, the movie wasn't perfect. However, consider the fact that it has stood the test of time quite well and fans really didn't feel that the remake. The movie wasn't perfect as movies go, but it was a perfect classic.<p> <p> Halloween II was a bit boring, but only because it was meant to answer the very few questions left by the original. With so few questions left to answer, the movie turned into "dark, building & crazed psycho" storytelling. Halloween II wasn't perfect or even a "perfect classic". However, it was a fair and what should have been a respectable ending to the series. The fact that III deviates from the Michael Meyers mythos tells me that his story should have been over. Everything beyond II is "just another sequel". I did enjoy Season of the Witch, but in a goofy non-Halloween sort of way.

  • April 29, 2009, 11:59 p.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by CaptainAxis

    HE WAS SHOT SEVERAL TIMES AND FELL OFF A BALCONY, yet got up within a matter of minutes and escaped without ANYBODY seeing him! What the hell, man? How is that not being invulnerable or superhuman?<br> <br> I really find it funny how desperate you are for realism, but you don't want the blood and gore that goes along with the murder and mayhem. Guess what? You're not supposed to enjoy the killing spree! You're meant to squirm and feel uncomfortable and look away because you can't handle it. Also, in reality people aren't just born evil or "turn evil" - it's a process and combination of many factors.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:01 a.m. CST

    @Duke of Hurl

    by cookepuss

    Length does NOT equal girth. LOL <p> <p> Just because the backstory lasted for a long time doesn't mean that it added a great deal of depth to the character. Michael did seem more human, but that was quickly lost to the conventions of the genre

  • April 30, 2009, 12:02 a.m. CST

    the conventions of the genre

    by Duke of Hurl

    are why we watch genre movies

  • April 30, 2009, 12:03 a.m. CST

    that image does nothing for me

    by juice willis

    they've made michael myers unscary. physically imposing...yes. scary...no.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:04 a.m. CST

    @caruso_stalker217

    by cookepuss

    Tyler Mane IS totally made for the role. I agree. The man is a beast. =)<p> <p> I did like the fact that the original demystified, yet reinforced the notion at the Boogeyman was real. It showed us that the Boogeyman wasn't a supernatural evil. He was almost the evil that dwelled in the human heart. Pulling off the mask for one brief moment made you think, "Holy shit! The Boogeyman is real, but also the lowest and scariest type of human imaginable." I always dug that. That one brief glimpse of the man behind the mask gave you a hint that a person existed

  • April 30, 2009, 12:05 a.m. CST

    House of 1000 corpses....

    by boogy110

    Dr death? How fucking cliche and stupid was that character. And yes, I fully agree with Continentalop. Movie was all over the place and was so ridiculous. And I beg to differ on a few. There have been many good horror flicks. I enjoyed SAW (THE FIRST ONE ONLY) Chainsaw massacre remake 1 and the begining. Hostel Hell, I even enjoyed The Hills Have Eyes remake.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:06 a.m. CST

    rsanta74, CaptainAxis

    by Continentalop

    If I can interject, I always viewed the original Halloween as being ambiguous about whether Michael Myers is supernatural or not. Is Michael Myers just a deranged killer, or is there something uncanny and mystical about him? I think there is enough evidence to support either opinion. <p> That is what I love about the original. There is no real answer to Michael Myers. It is kind of like the movie Frost with Jeff Goldblum (anyone see that) were we are left to come to our own conclusion if he is the devil or just a lunatic.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:06 a.m. CST

    @CaptainAxis

    by cookepuss

    Just based on the ending of #1, you have no idea what condition in what he walked away. I've seen videos of guys getting shot at point blank range and continue like it's a cat scratch. Just based on the ending of #1 alone, for all we know, he walked away only to bleed to death 5 minutes later. Naturally, #2 retconned the effects of the bullet wounds. Hence, #2's biggest flaws - upping his power levels.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PPL

    by VALENTINEproductions

    Listen im no Halloween fan, i mean the old ones. Im no fan of Zombies either but that last movie wasnt so bad. I kind of enjoyed it. Seeing this pic makes sense story wise. Him killing a bunch of people, wearing the same shit, what do you expect to happen? Hes gonna run to some open all night dry cleaners and have his shit cleaned?! The mask is latex, latex does not hold up well. Hes sporting long hair and a beard, did you expect him to stop killing and shave?! I mean seriously its a fucking slasher movie! Atleast the dude is trying to make sense of it all. And i have to tell you after seeing the last one i went back and watched the original, that movie gets waaaay too much praise.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:09 a.m. CST

    I meant Mr. Frost

    by Continentalop

  • April 30, 2009, 12:11 a.m. CST

    @Continentalop

    by cookepuss

    Not sure I agree about the doubt about him being supernatural or not. If anything, he was portrayed evenly enough as a boy born without a soul, if such a thing exists. About the closest I'll get to agreeing that he's supernatural is proposing that the idea of the soul proposes the notion that one is more vulnerable and therefore more human. Still, that's more of an abstract concept than a way of making him wholly supernatural.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:11 a.m. CST

    A Bernie Madoff film already???

    by YackBacker

    Hot diggity-dog! I'm calling the boys down at the lodge- they're gonna flip over this one!

  • April 30, 2009, 12:13 a.m. CST

    @VALENTINEproductions

    by cookepuss

    I sorta.... sorta.... enjoyed the last one. I'm just not sure that it was horror. Much in the same way that I'm not sure that something like "Epic Movie" qualifies as parody. <p> <p> Both hit some of the same beats, but the twist to the genre also puts them a bit outside of it, at least for genre purists.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:19 a.m. CST

    ANYWAY....

    by cookepuss

    1:20am now. Fun debate, but I'm off to bed. Nite all.<p><p> ~~Rob~~

  • April 30, 2009, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Sigh...

    by CaptainAxis

    All you internet tough guys saying that this Michael "isn't scary" are hilarious. I don't know, homeless vagrants are already scary - tell me you don't keep your distance from that dirty-looking ruffian pushing the shopping cart downtown. I think the idea that Michael changes his appearance at different points in the film will allow for more frightening moments, like camouflage. He could just materialize out of seemingly nowhere, whereas he's pretty noticeable in a clean white mask and coveralls.<br> <br> @rsanta74: You're really stretching now. If Carpenter's Halloween was released as a new film today, it would be ripped to pieces. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:19 a.m. CST

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH US PPL!

    by quantize

    Our taste is not firmly inserted like a suppository in our assholes like VALENTINEproduction's is... You make even bigger fool of yourself saying its 'a slasher' movie (like dumb shit can happen) and then compliment Zombie on 'making sense of it'. Get ya shit straight dickhead.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:20 a.m. CST

    rsanta74

    by Continentalop

    I think lines like these from the original could give people the impression that he is maybe slightly supernatural: <p> Dr. Loomis: I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the *devil's* eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... *evil*. <p> ********** <p> Dr. Terence Wynn: Now, for God's sake, he can't even drive a car! <p> Dr. Sam Loomis: He was doing very well last night! Maybe someone around here gave him lessons! <p> ************** <p> Dr. Sam Loomis: [after Michael escapes from the mental institution] He's gone from here! The evil is gone! <p> **************** <p> Laurie: Was that the boogeyman? <p> Dr. Sam Loomis: As a matter of fact, it was. <p> ************** That plus countless references of Myers as the Boogieman, his ability to survive horrible damage, his almost zombie-like nature, and the final scene where he falls to his apparent death but his body disappears moments later, followed by shots of where he has been accompanied by his sinister breathing. <p> While none of these prove that he is supernatural, there is enough is enough circumstantial evidence for a filmgoer to come to that conclusion.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:25 a.m. CST

    "Maybe someone around here gave him lessons!"

    by caruso_stalker217

    Carpenter really couldn't write for shit. That's pretty thin.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:30 a.m. CST

    Not necessarily a conclusion, but a nice

    by cookepuss

    spooky is he or isn't he question. Great fodder for camping stories.<p> <p> @CaptainAxis: "Kids today" are trained to like candy coated shit. Most wouldn't know a good scary movie if one bit them in the balls. This is why M-Rated games are equated with tits & blood. Tits & blood don't make a game mature. They just make them not for kids. Might the original get ripped? That depends on what you ask of the genre. <p> <p> Also.... That Zombie shit WASN'T scary. It was almost laughable. The vicious and visceral nature of it actually removed it that much further from reality. Every actually somebody die from a violent crime in real life? Unfortunately, I have. TWICE. That Rob Zombie junkfood is just bloody Hollywood comedy. There's nothing real or scary about that. Nothing that will EVER keep you up at night. Maybe my scaredy cat sister in-law or mother would jump out of their seats. Me? I was just waiting for the scary parts to outnumber the cheap scares.<p> <p> NOW I'm off to bed. LOL

  • April 30, 2009, 12:37 a.m. CST

    Quint, shut the fuck up

    by manbat33

    when it comes to remakes you people are never satisfied. Why don't you just fucking review the movie before it even comes out. The first halloween was not bad at all, it's rob zombie's halloween, not john carpenter's halloween, not anymore at least. The only reason the 70's version was so good was because it was the first of its kind, had rob zombie's halloween come out then it would've been said the film was a classic. I'm honestly getting tired of you stupid talkbackers who just slam the shit out of movies before they come out, i know that's the point of all this stupid immature bullshit, but damn it let's give these guys a chance. Oh. yeah, don't damn Micheal Bay, damn you for actually going to see his films.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:38 a.m. CST

    CaptainAxis

    by Continentalop

    I have to say I think the original Halloween holds up rather nicely. The best about it is the direction and camerawork, especially when seen in a widescreen format in the big screen. The shot of Jamie Lee standing in the doorway in the dark exhausted while the camera holds, and finally we see in the darkness behind her the pale white face of the Shatner mask appear is just brilliant. It is something so subtle yet effective, and something that Zombie has yet to show he can equal.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Jamie Leigh not Jamie Lee

    by Continentalop

    Damn, I need another beer.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:48 a.m. CST

    When the economy is bad

    by Crooooooow

    even psychos become homeless

  • April 30, 2009, 12:54 a.m. CST

    There's a reason he was called The Shape in the original

    by StevenScorsese

    Michael Myers is the boogie man - an unseen evil presence in the shadows. A glimpse here, a movement there, a shadow in the bushes, barely visible white face in the background watching his prey. He's everywhere and nowhere. That's where the tension comes from, not front and fucking center in the spotlight with a half-torn mask so you see his face and hillbilly muttonchops! Zombie has proven he can produce some original, interesting visuals, but he doesn't know story, pacing or tension. Blood and gore in a surreal setting isn't scary. What made the original so effective was that it took place in a neighborhood like any neighborhood. It could easily be your neighborhood. The Shape wasn't superhuman - he took the knitting needle to the neck, not the eye. If it didn't hit the jugular, of course he could survive. Yes he was shot at the end and ended up surviving and was gone, but that was the climax. Carpenter's said he never left it open that way for obvious sequel reasons. He did it to keep the audience spooked long after the movie. The boogie man was still out there and could be anywhere - hence the various shots of empty rooms and houses at the very end. And it was effective, but something that you could only do once without turning into cheeseville. Zombie puts the focus on all the wrong things: different mask, costumes, gore, elaborate backstory and ignores making normal, believable characters that you can actually identify with and care about when they are in jeopardy. Maybe some day Zombie will get it, but he sure doesn't yet.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:55 a.m. CST

    The Snowman from "Cold Prey" & "Cold Prey 2" could....

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    ..whip this pussy's ass all the way to next week.<p>All hail The Snowman!

  • April 30, 2009, 12:58 a.m. CST

    I wanna punch Zombie in the cock

    by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS

    Just to be clear: I'm aiming for his head.

  • April 30, 2009, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Mike Myers isn't supernatural?

    by Mr. Zeddemore

    He spent years in an institution (from childhood on up), yet knew how to drive a car - proficiently no less; he was stabbed in the eye with a coat hanger and pulled it out; he was shot and fell out of a window... and survived. <p> He was always supernatural.

  • April 30, 2009, 1:11 a.m. CST

    The ad next to the picture..

    by The Dark Shite

    Anyone noticed the colorwigs.com ad right next to the photo? Look at the neck of his mask, then look at the mannequin head in the ad. Weird.

  • April 30, 2009, 1:39 a.m. CST

    Why bother associating this with the Halloween series?

    by OutlawsDelejos

    You trash the back story and remove the signature mask then it really ceases being a Halloween film. I'm with Quint, who gives a shit it's not Halloween anymore.

  • April 30, 2009, 1:43 a.m. CST

    danelle harris having sex again please

    by supercowbell4therequestformorecowbell

    SOOO FUCCCCKKKIINNGGG HOOOTTT. too bad the movie sucked.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:02 a.m. CST

    quantize

    by Duke of Hurl

    loser

  • April 30, 2009, 2:03 a.m. CST

    he's wearing the fucking mask.

    by Duke of Hurl

  • April 30, 2009, 2:05 a.m. CST

    Duke of Hurl

    by Daremo

    Duke of Hurl, It's YOU I feel sorry for. Sorry you're one of those pathetic "Hey everyone, look at me! I'm FIRST! FIRST! FIRST!" poster douche bags, and then you criticize others.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:09 a.m. CST

    Feel it Daremo.

    by Duke of Hurl

    I'm just prompt. Don't be jealous. Try contributing to the discussion.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:11 a.m. CST

    And I do feel sorry,

    by Duke of Hurl

    For anyone who won't sit through House of 1000 Corpses or The Devil's Rejects. You can lead a horse to water...

  • April 30, 2009, 2:12 a.m. CST

    um

    by garbagehumper

    I don't really understand people who don't get why people don't like remakes that go out of their way to explain details in classic storylines that were never intended to explained. Rob Zombie is as lowest common denominator as you can get. I don't want this faggot interpreting Halloween in the most base way possible. If Stephen King had died from his accident before the Dark Tower had been finished and someone took it upon themselves to finish that story, I would never consider reading it. John Carpenter had a story to tell. He told his fucking story. It didn't involve abusive white trash parents shaping Myers into a psycophath. At all. I'm blown away by how many people consider the backstory the best part of his remake. It's the worst. That kid is among the worst actors on earth, the mask obsession is embarrassing, it's overexplained to the point that it's a joke. I LOOOOOVE Devil's Rejects. But everything else that dude has done is worthless.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:16 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the sympathy Duke

    by Continentalop

    At least I got through the Devil's Rejects, just doubt I can ever sit through it again.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:21 a.m. CST

    "white trash"

    by Duke of Hurl

    I don't remember anybody talking shit to Tobe Hooper about "white trash" when he made The Texas Chainsaw Massacre...

  • April 30, 2009, 2:22 a.m. CST

    "white trash"

    by Duke of Hurl

    I don't remember anybody talking shit to Wes Craven about "white trash" when he made Last House on the Left or The Hills Have Eyes...

  • April 30, 2009, 2:23 a.m. CST

    If I had the reigns to the ANOES remake.

    by ThePilgrim

    Nancy Thompson's 11 year son Jake disappears one morning after delivering newspapers on his bike. <P> A few weeks later Krueger hits a Deer with his truck, it flips over. The EMT's and Police arrive. They find a black bag near the truck. Inside the bag they find a matching description of the clothing Jake was last seen wearing, some naked polaroids of Jake with several slash marks littered all over his body, and a makeshift razor knife glove. <P> Krueger is arrested while he's in the hospital with broken leg, broken nose, dislocated shoulder, and a broken collarbone. <P> His house is searched, and he is interrogated. He gives up no confession. It goes to trial, but the case is tossed out of court because no circumstantial evidence such as dna, or finger prints are found on the items or the bag, and there's no way to prove the bag was in Krueger's truck. <P> Krueger walks. <P> Nancy won't let matters rest. She leave Fliers of her Son listed as a missing person at Krueger work site (He works at a Cotton Mill) with Krueger listed as the only suspect, and a 10 grand bounty/reward for his death or her son's return. <P> Latter that day, Nancy is arrested at local shopping center- Under Charges of Harassment. <P> Krueger's Lawyer files for a restraining order. Later that night while in detainment. Nancy's Mother Ann calls 911. The 911 operator is located in the police station (it's a small town). <P> Nancy hears whats going on from her cell. Her mother says someones broken into the house. Her mother lets out a blood curdling scream. The line goes dead. Nancy and the Police, race out to Nancy's house. Her mother is found dead in the kitchen with the phone chord wrapped around her neck. She's completely naked. Several slash marks litter her body. A copy of the Bounty Flier Nancy posted at Krueger's work, rest on Anns chest. <P> Nancy races upstairs to her daughter room. Kera is missing. Claw like slash marks are cut into the sheets in her daughters crib. Nancy has a panic attack. She grabs her chest she's having trouble breathing, she passes out and hits the ground. She's rushed to the towns local hospital. <P> The following morning a group of kids find her son's body in a small opening between two large 20 foot Boulder's in a Rock Quarry surrounded by the towns local river- They were out there swimming. Jake's lifeless body is covered in slash marks. It's pattern style matches the ones found on Ann's body and in Kera's crib. <P> Krueger is found at the towns local bar. He is re-arrested. The Sheriff cant contain his anger this time. He brutally attacks Krueger. Krueger's lawyer shows up while this is happening. He pushes for harassment and assault charges on The police. He tells them that they can't hold or press charges on Krueger without conclusive evidence. <P> The judge is called, and Krueger is released, Krueger looks at the Sheriff as he walks out. A large grin forms on Kruegers face. <P> The news circulates throughout the town. Nancy steps out of the hospital for a cigarette break, We see a scene earlier were the Sheriff tells the hospital staff to keep Nancy in the dark about her son. <P> While she's out there smoking. Nancy reads the headline "Jake Thompson Murder Suspect Files Assault Charges on Springwood County Police" off of a newspaper someone else is reading on bench next to the smoking area. Nancy freaks out. She runs across the parking lot. The nurses chase her. She races right into an oncoming car. Her face is slammed into the pavement, blood starts to pool from under her head. She looks up at the nurse. Her eye roll back. We see them operating on her in the E.R. <P> Nancy lapses into a coma. <P> This was the last straw on the camels back. Some people in the town including the Sheriff decide it's time to carry through with some Vigilante Justice. <P> Ext Cottonmill: Night <P> A group of people wearing masks attack Kruger when he heads out to his car in the parking lot at work. Krueger tries to get back inside the building. Kruger grabs the door handel. The owner grabs the door from inside the building. He locks it. He smiles at Kruger through the window. <P> Krueger races back into the parking lot for his car. <P> The masked people catch Krueger. They beat him with chains and bats. <P> One of the masked men breaks both his knees in. Krueger hollers out for help. A piece of 2x4 slams into krugers ribs. A bat hits him in the arm. Another masked man slams a hammer into Kruegers mouth breaking most of his teeth. <P> Masked man: "Enough fun, someone knock this fucker out." Just then an aluminum bat slams into the side of Krueger's face. He hits the ground twitching. The masked men handcuff him, they toss his body into the trunk of an unmarked car. <P> They drive to the towns local Junkyard. The trunk is opened. One of the mask men breaks a stick of smelling slats under Krueger's bloody nose. It's not working. The masked man shoves it up Krueger's nostril. <P> One of the men pulls off his mask. It's the Sheriff <P> Sheriff: "Rise and shine! You sick fucking piece of shit..." <P> Sheriff: "Were running late for a funeral." <P> Krueger: Pleaseeeee dont kill me... <P> Sheriff: "Where's Kera! Where's Nancy's daughter, you nasty fuck!!!" <P> They pull Krueger from the car. There's a giant hole in the ground right next to an Excavator. <P> Krueger: "You can't just bury me alive!!!!" <P> Sheriff: "Your right. We gotta Burn you first... Just in case hell isn't real." <P> One of the men dumps a tank of gasoline over Krueger's head. <P> Krueger: "OK, OK! OK!!!! Stop!!!!! I'll tell you were the little girl is. I tell you where she i, please stop!!!!" <P> The Sheriff pulls a cigar out of his shirt pocket. He puts it in his mouth. He pulls zippo out of his pants pocket. The sheriff lights his smoke. <P> Sherriff: "I'm nothing but ears" <P> Krueger "I put her in a locker, in the old closed out section of the mill! Locker 219! She's still alive. I didn't hurt her! I swear! I swear...Arrest me, please arrest me! <P> Sheriff: "Too late for that now." <P> The Sheriff drops the lighter on Krueger's head. Kruger catches fire. His screams of agony are unbearable. The Sheriff grabs a shovel. He slams it into Krueger's head knocking him back into the pit. <P> It's starts to rain. Smoke rises from the grave the other men take off their masks off. They look into the grave. <P> Kruger's burnt body is still shaking. We see bubbles forming from his mouth. A mound of dirt falls onto Krueger's face, his breath blows some of it away. <P> We see the Sheriff loading up another mount of diurt onto his shovel. <P> Man: He's still alive..." <P> Sheriff: "Fuck him. He's Gods problem now." <P> More mounds of dirt fall on top of Krueger as the group begins shoveling dirt into the grave. <P> We cut to the cotton mill. The owner is using a blow torch to cut of the pad locked chains off of the door. He turns his flash light on, he heads to the locker area. He shines it on locker number 219. He opens it. There inside is baby Kera. He picks her up, it wakes her. She starts to scream. <P> 17 years later. <P> (Trust me I got more, I'm just trying to point out how you remake some shit and stay slightly original and creative. PD your Nightmare remake is a joke!!!) <P>

  • April 30, 2009, 2:48 a.m. CST

    Duke of Hurl - I'm sure

    by Professor_Monster

    Lets see the progression - Duke of Licking Duke of deep throating then... Duke of Hurl

  • April 30, 2009, 2:56 a.m. CST

    Duke of Hurl

    by garbagehumper

    You fucking mongoloid. No one had problems with the white trash background in those films because they were a part of those stories to start with. Can you really not see a difference?

  • April 30, 2009, 3:17 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie is a wank.

    by Brody77

    Stop fucking with Halloween you arse.

  • April 30, 2009, 4:32 a.m. CST

    Wah wah wah

    by Nivek666

    Casual film fan's got a stick so far up their asses, you don't even realize Zombie can do no wrong. It's like you douchebags forget about all the stupid shit in the original cheap ass film, and it's sequels, like incest,coma naps, growing back eye balls, and having Busta Rhymes kick Michaels ass. Go watch fucking Star Trek films and leave discussion of Slasher films to people who do not take them that seriously.

  • April 30, 2009, 5:33 a.m. CST

    It's Shatnerface!

    by Iowa Snot Client

    In this one Michael tracks down the real William Shatner, tears off his face and wears it as a mask.

  • April 30, 2009, 5:35 a.m. CST

    Duke of Hurl

    by Crooooooow

    No one had a problem with that in TCM because that was the backbone of the story. However, in the original Halloween one of the things that made Myers so freaky was that there was no reason for his psychosis. He was born evil end of story. That's what seperated Mike from Freddy and Jason. They had their reasons for being batshit crazy, Michael Myers was just born that way. By taking that away in the remakes you take away what was really Michael Myers.

  • April 30, 2009, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Can't we stop slobbering over Rob's knob eventually?

    by reflecto

    How many times, Quint? How many passes does he get for liking old-school horror yet being unable to make a film?

  • April 30, 2009, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

    by damned

    was actually a good film, though the end with Jaime getting possessed was a little odd. Halloween 5 was also good until the end with the man in black/cult thing. Zombie should have just picked up after part 4 or 5.

  • April 30, 2009, 7:01 a.m. CST

    glad he didn't get to make a Crow movie

    by Jesiah

    If that's how he "envisions" Myers, I shudder to think of his "futuristic" Crow.

  • April 30, 2009, 7:14 a.m. CST

    I thought maybe Mike Myers was going to be in Zombie flick.

    by rev_skarekroe

    This is disappointing.

  • April 30, 2009, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Sometimes bad is what it is -- BAD!

    by ATARI

  • April 30, 2009, 7:21 a.m. CST

    ThePilgrim

    by JamesT

    Where are all of the gratuitous sex scenes? It is a horror movie ya know..

  • April 30, 2009, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Leatherface goes grunge?

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    That's what is looks like to me.

  • April 30, 2009, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Shrill, Shrieking, Sociopathic Rednecks Will Surely Be Featured

    by LaserPants

    Zombie = One Trick Pony.

  • April 30, 2009, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's aesthetic is right on the cutting edge of 1994

    by reflecto

    So raw and real!

  • April 30, 2009, 7:48 a.m. CST

    hate it ...

    by JeanLuc Dickhard

    so far

  • April 30, 2009, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's Halloween defies genre

    by Spandau Belly

    I don't know how anybody can say it's not a fascinating movie. It's kinda got a bit of Good Will Hunting in the middle part with the whole patient-shrink thing going on, but instead of therapy helping a dude learn to apply his math powers in the acquisition of romance, Meyers just turns into a modern day Conan conquering suburbia. It's not really a character piece since everybody in the movie just keeps saying how they can't explain the main character. It's not really a suspense slasher movie since the main character is the slasher. It's not really an action movie since we're not really rooting for Meyers even though he's the main character. It has lots of comedy moments like Laurie's interaction with bagels and her trashtalking pals, but it's not really a comedy either. It's just a bizarre drama with no real conflict in terms of the plot but endless conflict in the literal physical sense. And Danny Trejo plays the nicest character in the movie. <br><br>How can all that not be something worth making and seeing?

  • April 30, 2009, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Myers = homeless Timothy Busfield?

    by JuanSanchez

    http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd295/Hintonfilms/MyersBusfield.jpg

  • April 30, 2009, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Reflecto -- DEAD ON

    by LaserPants

    Its as if he saw NATURAL BORN KILLERS and decided it was the greatest movie ever made and that it was his job to remake it ENDLESSLY. The tragic thing being that NBK is kinda awful; a shrill self-parody.

  • April 30, 2009, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's Halloween Doesn't Defy Genre

    by LaserPants

    It dumbs it down, or, conversely, stupids it up.

  • April 30, 2009, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Completely off topic...

    by moody by nature

    ... but no one else can help. Maybe you can. Like the A Team... Anyone have a copy of Cabin In The Woods, and/or Andrew Kevin Walker's Psycho Killer scripts? Heard me some rumors that they be living out there in internet world somewhere...

  • April 30, 2009, 8:27 a.m. CST

    I want Cabin In The Woods too

    by reflecto

    Just putting it out there. I also wonder if anyone has a copy of Peter Jackson's old Nightmare On Elm Street script.

  • April 30, 2009, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Looks awful

    by Wandering_Prophet

    Man when Devil's Rejects came out, I had real hope that ZOmbie could grow as a filmmaker....WRONG! The guy is obsessed with making sadists and monsters relatable...he wants people to feel bad for the embodiement of pure evil. I'm not a great guy, but honestly that line of thinking is sick, I'm sure Zombie is uncomfortably fascinated by serial killers and mass murderers. And dude, stop putting your wife in movies, not only is she a terrible actress (or as I like to call them, strippers) She even died and now you brought her back as a zombie or something more stupid. DOesn't she suck your dick if you don't put her in movies. I know Kevin Smith is in a similar situation, but he relegates his wife to small roles, you make her the leading fucking lady. She's a whore dude, she'll suck your dick either way. If you seriously make a worse movie then the original Halloween 2 you might as well go back to your stageshow. At least the demonoid phenomenon was cool.

  • April 30, 2009, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Zombie is almost talented...

    by NotVeryFunny

    The closest he came to being good was "Devil's Reject". He's too much of a geek to be a good filmmaker: too many winks, too many washed-up b-listers. Too much of his talentless wife. A good producer should step in and steer him in the right direction.

  • April 30, 2009, 9:49 a.m. CST

    NotVeryFunny

    by skimn

    You summed it up very well. He's like a Joe Dante without the wit or talent. But he is just thisclose to being good.

  • Terrific, terrific. I'm just gonna love this one.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Heightened reality

    by CaptainAxis

    That's what Zombie's films are, to me. They're grounded in just enough "realness" to make it unsettling (the quiet opening shots in TDR of Tiny dragging the dead girl's body through the woods - chilling) but they're also over-the-top in terms of the violence and dialogue. I've seen plenty of horror and I still think his films are unique in tone and presentation. I maintain that interference from the studio and/or the Akkads led to the half-baked rehash that the remake became in the second half of the film. It was a total Zombie film up to that point, then it almost seems like somebody else took over or forced him to make changes.<br> <br> @rsanta74: When I said that Carpenter's Halloween would be ripped apart if it were released as a new film today, I wasn't talking about kids. I meant talkbackers, although there's not much difference. "It's not scary enough! Too boring! How did Michael learn to drive? Why doesn't anybody see him? He's so slow, can't they just outrun him? How come the opening POV shot of little Michael is so much taller than the actual kid we see? The mask is lame! He gets stabbed in the eye, shot several times, falls off a balcony, and he STILL gets up? FUCK THAT TALENTLESS HACK CUNT CARPENTER WITH A SYPHILIS-INFECTED RUSTY BUTTERKNIFE!!1"<br> <br> You know it's true. It's all nostalgia, my friends.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:22 a.m. CST

    But all you haters will still see it, right?

    by Spandau Belly

    I think you guys should start dusting off your "morbid curiousity" excuse you used last time because you're going to use it again and then probably claim to have stormed out of the cinema ten minutes in, or some other talkbacker cliche.<br><br>And then when your money helps this movie become profitable you can all start complaining again because they will immediately bankroll H3. It's the circle of life, Simba.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Thought someone posted a picture of my ex-wife

    by mr dark

    She is really scary...

  • April 30, 2009, 10:34 a.m. CST

    ThePilgrim

    by pdennett316

    Really liked that Elm Street start mate, really good. You say you have more, where can it be read??

  • April 30, 2009, 10:38 a.m. CST

    CaptainAxis

    by pdennett316

    Carpenter's Halloween wouldn't be the same if it was made now, it would be a completely different film with different pacing, filming techniques. <p> It's like suggesting Steamboat Willie would be scoffed at if released today while totally ignoring the fact that animation has moved on slightly from 1928...it's an impossible and worthless assumption to make, and it really proves nothing.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Best Myers look ever

    by Genre_Baby

    6 days late with this post, but whatever. Think this is the scariest looking Mikey yet. Can't wait.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Action Figure

    by enderandrew

    They will sell this as an action figure. It will come with a shopping cart and aluminum cans.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Also, the talk of realism is pointless too...

    by pdennett316

    The people stating that Carpenter's Myers was invulnerable etc. People have been shot several times and lived, walked into hospital themselves even. Whining about the hanger to the eyeball.....I've seen pictures of guys with 6 inch knives embedded in their skulls and they lived, one guy had an inch thick drillbit go through his eye and into his brain, yet he never lost consciousness. <p> What I'm saying is that the original Halloween is not so far fetched in terms of the physical punishment Myers sustains.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:43 a.m. CST

    by pdennett316

  • April 30, 2009, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Since Ill never have a career

    by britney spears rusted clit ring

    take my idea hollywood...you need it. Just dont let Rob Zombie direct it. Its about a crew remaking a classic horror flick...and getting fucking slaughtered once evening of filming...

  • April 30, 2009, 10:56 a.m. CST

    pdennett316

    by CaptainAxis

    Did all those things happen to the same person, who then fell 15 feet off a balcony, all in the span of one evening?<br> <br> For the record, I don't give a fuck about reality in most films, especially horror. But it was rsanta74 trying to say that original Myers was more realistic/human than Zombie's Myers, so I'm just pointing out how full of shit that argument is.

  • April 30, 2009, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Chop-Top from TCM2

    by LilOgre

    Anyone else think Zombie would be the PERFECT director for a prequel/origins-type movie about this character?

  • April 30, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    from someone named 'Duke of Hurl'

    by quantize

    go fuck yourself..

  • April 30, 2009, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Duke of Hurl

    by quantize

    i just read your other contributions here... how is life being Zombie's anal wart? You're actually defending those dogshit try-hard exploitation attempts? Theyre fucking retarded..at least we know where you're coming from. the pity is all for you fuckwad

  • April 30, 2009, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Did realize they recast the role....

    by Rob0729

    I didn't realize they recast the Michael Meyer's role with Robert the Bruce's father from Braveheart. Excellent bit of casting. He was wonderful in that movie.

  • April 30, 2009, 11:41 a.m. CST

    ThePilgrim

    by blakindigo

    You're absolutely on point with the Hammer Films comparisons. Jimmy Sangster could write a fine tale and was had great structure. I adore "Dracula"(1958) and "The Mummy" (1959). I don't know how to do paragraph breaks on this forum—can anyone help?

  • April 30, 2009, 11:46 a.m. CST

    hey Quint..go ahead and keep talking about your feud with Zombie

    by Glory_Fades_ImMaxFischer

    again and again and again and again and again and again..jesus, the only reason you write you shit like this is to keep bringing it up. You really want to get the shit on him, STOP WRITING STORIES ABOUT ROB ZOMBIE AND THE ABSOLUTE SHIT HE MAKES

  • April 30, 2009, 11:56 a.m. CST

    just got back from fucking myself

    by Duke of Hurl

    and boy, am I excited to see H2

  • April 30, 2009, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Grow Up

    by Fireball XL-5

    Criticism, even harsh criticism, is one thing, but this Zombie hate is just juvenile. We seem to need "villains" to personify everything that's gone wrong in our lives.

  • April 30, 2009, 12:29 p.m. CST

    LMMFAO what is this shit, Ragman the Movie?!?

    by Stalkeye

    Zombie, unless you are working on that T-rex project, give it up. stick to what you do best, music!!

  • April 30, 2009, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Zombie Myres

    by The_Cannibalistic_Vagrant

    Just viewing this pic puts a simile on my face as from Zombie's limited oeuvre he seems to be more comfortable with sequels then establishing the world. Hope it's good, as for all the flaws of the first film, i liked Rob using the Myres character and spinning it in a different direction as opposed to giving us the same ideas that Carpenter established in the original.

  • April 30, 2009, 1:09 p.m. CST

    please tell me Michael gets a new mask at some point

    by GLENN_THE_TOOL

    really? i understand that it's supposed to be falling apart because he wears it all the time . but having half his face hanging out of the mask just looks plain dumb. i don't care if it's supposed to make Michael seem "more human." that's where these "remakes" went wrong, trying to humanize something that it supposed to be scary because it's unhuman.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Quint, Don't Doubt that Rob Would

    by Sith Witch

    "throw anything our way". He's been blogging on his Myspace continuously since shooting began, sharing all sorts of sneak peeks and videos with the fans.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:06 p.m. CST

    jimmay:

    by Sith Witch

    Werewolf Women of the SS was the greatest part of Grindhouse! I was laughing my ass off in the theatre during that part. Still to this day I crack up just remembering the little pewter werewolf figures being brushed across the map.

  • April 30, 2009, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Fireball is right

    by RickyRetardo

    The haters only wish they were living the Zombie life - he gets to make movies with a decent budget and he gets to make cool music with a fan base who loves to see him live - ya gotta hand it to him, he keeps busy and loves what he's doing, plus he gets to fuck Sheri Moon! (although you should give her more direction, Rob, and stop thinking about those awesome blowjobs she gives you while you watch dailies)

  • April 30, 2009, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Really, Rob Zombie bashing....

    by SlyAndTheFamilyStallone

    ...why don't we all sit around and make jokes about Nixon or Pet Rocks. Like Bay and Boll; everytime those guys do anything everyone's here telling the same old jokes with the same old complaints. These guys obviously aren't listening because they still do the same things over and over. We get it. 95% of you don't like Rob Zombie. But the studios don't care, they care about the 5% who helped the movie gross $100 million...and I'm guessing the 95% also helped, just like you'll run out to se H2.

  • April 30, 2009, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Tyler Mane is just too freakin big for this role

    by Titus05

    Tyler Mane is just too freakishly big for the role of Michael Myers...the scene is the first Halloween when he is being led away in chains and restraints really showed how much more physically imposing he was compared to everyone else...the guy looks scary yes but that's not what Myers should look like...he should look more normal sized...his scariness comes from his actions not his physical size

  • April 30, 2009, 3:59 p.m. CST

    I sware I remember an interview with Zombie

    by WickedJester

    Where he said he would never mess with 'THE MASK' or 'THE THEME.' Believe he even ended it by saying he would never do a sequel.<br><br>Apparently, his word is worth as much as his filmaking skills.<br><br>It's Halloween, he wears a WHITE F'N MASK!<br><br>What's wrong? All the white would've messed with you giving your wife another part.<br><br>Damn you suck Zombie.

  • April 30, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST

    www.NukeTheFridge.COM has a major spoiler

    by danguy54321

  • April 30, 2009, 4:22 p.m. CST

    www.NukeTheFridge.COM has a major spoiler

    by danguy54321

  • April 30, 2009, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Mr. Zombie

    by Bag_of_Hammers

    I've seen interviews with you and seem like a reasonable guy with a pretty good grasp of what you like in films. So please take to heart what I have to say. Please stop. Really, your first Halloween was not very good. And we're all getting tired of seeing your wife in every film you make. Remember how you once said you didn't like it when directors cast themselves in their own movies? You said it takes you out of the film and kinda ruins the experience for you. Well, you are kinda doing that with your wife now. I see her in the film and I go "Hey, that the directors wife...AGAIN." I wish you well, I enjoy your music, but when this film bombs, and I'm afraid it will, please stop for a few years and wait a while before you make another film.

  • April 30, 2009, 7:09 p.m. CST

    AND I HAD TO BUST OUT LAUGHING

    by Continentalop

    WHEN I READ THAT COCKNASTY!

  • April 30, 2009, 7:48 p.m. CST

    someone should...

    by dopepope

    remake one of Zombies' original movies and cut out the character his wife plays, make the cool looking villains into retard-looking pieces of shit and then HE can see what it's like! ( his wife is a hottie tho. )

  • April 30, 2009, 9:27 p.m. CST

    I see the entire RZ fellatio harem circle has joined us

    by reflecto

    I see their plethora of excuses have returned, too: "Carpenter's Halloween would suck today." "Rob loves horror, we need to support him. "Rob's film will be so much better now that he is using a sequel to rape the property further and can do it ON HIS OWN TERMS, as opposed to last time where he was FORCED into the fanboy constraints of remaking Michael Myers as a redneck Foghat-loving goth kid with happy hillbilly psycho parents - DAMN those continuity-loving Halloween loyalists who insisted on his sticking to that source material!" FUCK ALL OF YOU. You can spam these talkbacks all you want, but it won't change the fact that Zombie will come out of this with another slew of one-star ratings for his latest piece of cinematic diarrhea and even lower "street cred" amongst horror fans the world over.

  • April 30, 2009, 9:33 p.m. CST

    welcome to the circle, reflecto

    by Duke of Hurl

    but as a hater, you get the soggy biscuit.

  • April 30, 2009, 9:33 p.m. CST

    the circle of jerks, that is

    by Duke of Hurl

    fucking jerk off

  • April 30, 2009, 9:46 p.m. CST

    reflecto

    by caruso_stalker217

    What the fuck are you talking about? Michael Myers crying at the end of HALLOWEEN 5, that cult bullshit in HALLOWEEN 6, fucking Busta Rhymes kicking Myers' ass in RESURRECTION. <p>This "property" was raped long before Zombie ever got to it. <p>Blow your argument out your ass.

  • April 30, 2009, 10:51 p.m. CST

    caruso_stalker217 is my new hero

    by Fireball XL-5

    see above

  • May 1, 2009, 12:40 a.m. CST

    Your rimjob jam session is touching, boys

    by reflecto

    But shouldn't you all be busy fixing the House of 1000 Corpses Wiki page? Maybe find a way to make the plot synopsis make sense? All I remember of the last 15 minutes of that movie is grainy shots of what looked like Rob's colon and a sepulcheral voice mumbling "DR. SAAATANNNN" over and over. All class. Incidentally, simply calling attention to other bad Halloween sequels DOES NOT MAKE ROB ZOMBIE'S HALLOWEEN ANY LESS BAD. Good luck with new tactics, though. Hey, I know: Maybe someone can leak the movie onto the Net again to show the "full, unblemished vision," and when it flops with fans Rob can claim it is not the version he wanted and that the theatrical cut will be much better - then he can reverse himself and put the original back on DVD! It's all a question of how many proverbial cocks you can fit in your mouth at once in your quest for genre relevance; Rob seems eager to take all cummers and spread from all angles a la Annabel Chong. Do you like old horror? Okay, he'll cast lots of horror vets! Do you like White Zombie or Southern rock? Okay, he'll put more of his shitty music in the film! For all the misogynistic images of crazy redneck whores Rob puts onscreen, he's the biggest whore of them all, spreading it for the Internet 24-7 in the hopes of finally getting credibility as a filmmaker. If he worked half as hard to branch out as an artist and get away from his juvenile dead-horse, grunge-era, psychobilly fetishes as he does to pucker up for the Net and his slavish fans, he might make something half-decent. Instead, he falls back on raggedy-ass pro wrestlers, industrial rock, nerd blowjobs, angry rednecks and OMG TOTALLY BRUTAL REAL MURDERS I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS ONSCREEN BEFORE!!11 Good luck, Rob. I eagerly await the next "leaked workprint"

  • May 1, 2009, 1:12 a.m. CST

    Caruso stalker and fireball

    by Slaphappy Slim

    You guys actually make sense and sound rather rational. As such, you have no place here. This is the place for exceptionally sad individuals to project an unhealthy amount of repressed rage and self-loathing onto their personal "Antichrist", Rob Zombie.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Plus

    by Slaphappy Slim

    You've got to love the fact that in Carpenter's original it's supposed to be Oct. 31 in the midwest, yet it looks nothing like it. Palm trees just barely out of the frame. Budget was so low they couldn't have dumped some fake fall foliage on the ground or something?

  • May 1, 2009, 1:30 a.m. CST

    reflecto

    by caruso_stalker217

    For the record, I fucking despise HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES. <p>The version of HALLOWEEN that was leaked was the workprint, which I watched and hated. It's a shitty mess. I doubt you even saw the film. If you did, it was the workprint and I agree with your opinion on it. The final version is not a mess. It's a solid film, whether people like it or not. <p>I consider Zombie's HALLOWEEN the only good Carpenter remake so far. I find it funny that people tear this movie to pieces, but you don't hear them bitch much about a real piece of shit like THE FOG. The original isn't the greatest movie ever, but it's pretty goddamn solid up until the last fifteen minutes. The remake is a hollow by-the-numbers pile of crap with pretty young people getting scared by ghosts. The ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 remake is a glossy piece of shit that lacks the low-budget charm of the original and stars fucking Ethan Hawke. <p>At least Zombie's heart is in this. Whether you like the final product or not it counts for something. <p>Anyway, you sound like kind of a douchebag who should get his facts straight. Michael isn't a "goth kid" and his parents aren't "hillbilly psychos." Maybe you should actually watch the movie sometime, form a real opinion. You obviously have a lot of time on your hands, so what have you got to lose?

  • May 1, 2009, 1:39 a.m. CST

    Ah yes, the old "but he's got heart!" defense

    by reflecto

    Not to mention the "other movies are bad" defense. What a shock! Other bad remakes exist? I had no idea! Yes, yes, Assault remake is bad, Fog remake is bad, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE QUALITY OF ROB ZOMBIE'S HALLOWEEN? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING. And neither do Rob Zombie's "good intentions." I may love horror movies and Carpenter's work. Would *I* set out to remake The Thing or Halloween? Not a fucking chance. I know my limitations. Rob doesn't, and he's stuck in a ninth-grade hillbilly rock/backyard wrestling mindset. That's why his work suffers. That's why no one takes him seriously as a director. HEART DOESN'T MEAN SHIT IF YOU DON'T HAVE TALENT. And please, explain Zombie's take on the Myers family to me. Because what I saw was yet another group of crazy fucking rednecks. MY GOD HOW UNIQUE. NEVER BEFORE IN THE ROB ZOMBIE OEUVRE HAVE SUCH CHARACTERS AS THESE APPEARED.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Wow, let's criticize 30-year old foliage

    by reflecto

    That will really close the deal on the debate as to whether Rob Zombie is remotely talented.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:47 a.m. CST

    What does it have to do with Zombie's HALLOWEEN?

    by caruso_stalker217

    Not a goddamn thing. I was just wondering why people single that film out. Carpenter's HALLOWEEN wasn't any better or worse than ASSAULT or THE FOG. They all have their boring parts, bad writing, lousy acting. But Carpenter was able to make good, watchable movies out of it. I consider all three classics. <p>Again, you seem to be talking out of your ass because the Myers family is not crazy in Zombie's version. His stepdad is an asshole, his sister is a bitch and his mom is in denial. Michael is the only crazy one.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:50 a.m. CST

    reflecto

    by Slaphappy Slim

    I never said whether or not Zombie is talented. I just like making nonsense observations, which is at least as valid as your drivel about cocks, cum, rimjobs, etc. Really, though. You've got to simmer down. Screaming about people who "don't have talent" in all caps just makes you the typical hysterical talkback fuckwit. That said, I'm pretty goddamn sure even someone like Rob Zombie has farted more talent this morning than you'll ever possess in your whole life.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:54 a.m. CST

    Don't worry, Slim, I promise not to SKULLFUCK YOU

    by reflecto

    Unlike the abusive boyfriend in Zombie's film. Because that's what did Michael in, right? Skullfuckery and Foghat montage. That's what makes a killer. And now we know AND THAT MAKES IT MORE REAL, UNLIKE THAT SILLY PASADENA FOLIAGE OMFG HOW STUPID WAS THAT LOLOLOL.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:55 a.m. CST

    You can gnatfuck it if you want, caruso, they were rednecks

    by reflecto

    Just like every other character RZ has written about. And most people you ask will say yeah, he made his family into rednecks. What profound nuance of Zombie's work are we all missing?

  • May 1, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Thanks reflecto

    by Slaphappy Slim

    I'd hate to get skullfucked. I mean SKULLFUCKED.

  • May 1, 2009, 1:58 a.m. CST

    I'm just presenting the words as in the script

    by reflecto

    It was a real work of art.

  • May 1, 2009, 2:25 p.m. CST

    "no one takes him seriously as a director"

    by Fireball XL-5

    I guess that's why producers invest millions in his talent and why Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez selected him to take part in 'Grindhouse.'