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THE AUTHORITY's Warren Ellis Visits Grisly PG-13-ish Death Upon The Cartoon Network Via G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
Somebody at Hasbro had the idea of creating a PG-13 animated “G.I. Joe” movie – and hiring to write it the brilliant funnybook writer and novelist Warren Ellis (“The Authority,” “Global Frequency,” “Planetary,” “Astonishing X-Men,” “Ignition City,” “Mek,” “Red,” “Reload,” “Iron Man: Extremis,” “newuniversal,” “Ultimate Fantastic Four,” “Ultimate Galactus,” “Ocean,” “Orbiter,” “Jack Cross,” “Ministry of Space,” “Fell,” “Gravel,” “Dark Blue,” “Scars,” “Wolfskin,” “Blackgas,” “FreakAngels,” “No Hero”).
It’s super-extra violent, with literally millions of people meeting unpleasant ends in just its first 15 minutes. Many viewers are already hailing “Resolute” as the best episode of “G.I. Joe” every concocted. Having never seen another episode, I am willing to take their word for it!
The whole thing hits the Cartoon Network at 11:59 p.m. Saturday night but chunks of it have been pouring into the Internet all week. (If the YouTube embeds below deactivate, Americans are encouraged to head over to the AdultSwim website.
In a 2006 post owned and copyrighted by Warren Ellis, the writer offers some background on the project:
Okay, I meant to get around to this several weeks ago. But, you know, working for a living, etc.
So I wrote what we call a "micro-series" called GI JOE: RESOLUTE. (This has been misreported elsewhere as GI JOE ABSOLUTE, which may give aid and comfort to the people at Hasbro who weren’t wild about the title!) It’s an hour long, broken into ten 5-minute episodes and one 10-minute final episode.
It went like this. Sam Register phoned me up and said, we’d really like you to write a GI JOE animation, at a PG-13 rating, aimed at an older viewer. I said, I’ve never seen a GI JOE cartoon in my life. The closest I got to a GI JOE comic was drinking with Larry Hama. I’ve never even seen a GI JOE. Couldn’t tell you what they look like if you paid me. I know nothing about GI JOE. It is meaningless in my world.
Excellent, Sam said. Just the guy we need.
It was hard not to notice, at this point, that Sam Register is crazier than a shithouse rat. Therefore I decided to take the job.
I was told, some time after I finished the job, that GI JOE is actually kind of similar to Action Man. "Why didn’t they SAY so?" I yelled. Eagle Eyes! Gripping Hands! The Red Devil Action Man who had a hideous accident in a tree during a parachute op in my back garden when I was three years old. The mutilated Action Man whom my grandad found in a lay-by and thereby became default Torture Sequence Action Man for several years. Ah, the 1970s, where setting action figures on fire in the woods was considered part of a healthy childhood.
"Ask them if GI JOE and Barbie can have a really disturbing sex scene where they get naked and then realise they don’t have any genitalia," said my girlfriend.
Everyone was so helpful during this project.
Anyway.
So my brief was to produce a non-tiny-child-oriented GI JOE. Which necessitated reading just a toxic amount of research, leading me to birth an odd, lumpy, normal-for-Norfolk-looking hybrid of the comic and the cartoon. The idea was, as I understand it, that bringing in a writer with absolutely no nostalgia for the property would give them the tone they were looking for. I think they were happy when I presented them with the initial list of characters I was going to just kill. And then the list of things I was going to blow up.
The people at Hasbro were actually remarkably supportive. And I did apologise after shouting at them those times. And they did give me one of those conversations that you never really expect to have when growing up:
HASBRO: No, Warren, you cannot wipe Beijing from the face of the earth.
ME: Shit. (pause) What about Moscow?
HASBRO: Wiping Moscow from the face of the earth would be fine.
The point was to write an hour-long story that really put the property and the characters through some shit changes: as if this were the GI JOE film (at the time of my writing RESOLUTE, there still wasn’t a locked script on the live-action film) and I was rebooting and re-grounding the property on my own. These sort of gigs are immense technical challenges, and really sharpen up some skills I wouldn’t ordinarily use.
One other error in the reportage I’ve seen: someone mentioned Lady Jaye in connection with RESOLUTE. Lady Jaye is not actually in RESOLUTE. Scarlett is the female lead on the Joe side of the story, I guess, although there is another female character on the new Joe team with a significant role. Two probably-beloved characters die in the first five minutes. Snake-Eyes gets to impale someone while travelling at a hundred miles an hour. Cobra Commander isn’t very funny any more. Although, really, given that his uniform includes wearing a bag over his head, there are limits to how unfunny he can be at any given time.
RESOLUTE will be screened on the web first, I believe, sometime in 2009.
Hasbro, as I say, were pretty easy to work with, especially given the things I was doing to their toys. The animation team were lovely people, and I’m hoping I get to work with crazy Sam Register again in the future.
I asked Ellis if there was any talk of a sequel or a series. “Not to me,” was his disappointing reply.
11:59 p.m. Saturday. Cartoon Network.
When Bruce Met Clark!!
Herc Adores The Print Work Of Warren Ellis!!
So I wrote what we call a "micro-series" called GI JOE: RESOLUTE. (This has been misreported elsewhere as GI JOE ABSOLUTE, which may give aid and comfort to the people at Hasbro who weren’t wild about the title!) It’s an hour long, broken into ten 5-minute episodes and one 10-minute final episode.
It went like this. Sam Register phoned me up and said, we’d really like you to write a GI JOE animation, at a PG-13 rating, aimed at an older viewer. I said, I’ve never seen a GI JOE cartoon in my life. The closest I got to a GI JOE comic was drinking with Larry Hama. I’ve never even seen a GI JOE. Couldn’t tell you what they look like if you paid me. I know nothing about GI JOE. It is meaningless in my world.
Excellent, Sam said. Just the guy we need.
It was hard not to notice, at this point, that Sam Register is crazier than a shithouse rat. Therefore I decided to take the job.
I was told, some time after I finished the job, that GI JOE is actually kind of similar to Action Man. "Why didn’t they SAY so?" I yelled. Eagle Eyes! Gripping Hands! The Red Devil Action Man who had a hideous accident in a tree during a parachute op in my back garden when I was three years old. The mutilated Action Man whom my grandad found in a lay-by and thereby became default Torture Sequence Action Man for several years. Ah, the 1970s, where setting action figures on fire in the woods was considered part of a healthy childhood.
"Ask them if GI JOE and Barbie can have a really disturbing sex scene where they get naked and then realise they don’t have any genitalia," said my girlfriend.
Everyone was so helpful during this project.
Anyway.
So my brief was to produce a non-tiny-child-oriented GI JOE. Which necessitated reading just a toxic amount of research, leading me to birth an odd, lumpy, normal-for-Norfolk-looking hybrid of the comic and the cartoon. The idea was, as I understand it, that bringing in a writer with absolutely no nostalgia for the property would give them the tone they were looking for. I think they were happy when I presented them with the initial list of characters I was going to just kill. And then the list of things I was going to blow up.
The people at Hasbro were actually remarkably supportive. And I did apologise after shouting at them those times. And they did give me one of those conversations that you never really expect to have when growing up:
HASBRO: No, Warren, you cannot wipe Beijing from the face of the earth.
ME: Shit. (pause) What about Moscow?
HASBRO: Wiping Moscow from the face of the earth would be fine.
The point was to write an hour-long story that really put the property and the characters through some shit changes: as if this were the GI JOE film (at the time of my writing RESOLUTE, there still wasn’t a locked script on the live-action film) and I was rebooting and re-grounding the property on my own. These sort of gigs are immense technical challenges, and really sharpen up some skills I wouldn’t ordinarily use.
One other error in the reportage I’ve seen: someone mentioned Lady Jaye in connection with RESOLUTE. Lady Jaye is not actually in RESOLUTE. Scarlett is the female lead on the Joe side of the story, I guess, although there is another female character on the new Joe team with a significant role. Two probably-beloved characters die in the first five minutes. Snake-Eyes gets to impale someone while travelling at a hundred miles an hour. Cobra Commander isn’t very funny any more. Although, really, given that his uniform includes wearing a bag over his head, there are limits to how unfunny he can be at any given time.
RESOLUTE will be screened on the web first, I believe, sometime in 2009.
Hasbro, as I say, were pretty easy to work with, especially given the things I was doing to their toys. The animation team were lovely people, and I’m hoping I get to work with crazy Sam Register again in the future.
When Bruce Met Clark!!
Herc Adores The Print Work Of Warren Ellis!!
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I've never watched this show but with Ellis on it,I'll give it a watch,I'm surprised DC & Marvel don't hire their comic writers to do more cartoon work.
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Very well done but I hate the whole "Scarlett Loves Duke" crap. Same crap as we got with the 80's cartoon. It's obvious, it's dull and it's nowhere near as interesting as Scarlett & Snake-Eyes.
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My friends and I are up to date with this so far online. It's hella badass. They definitely upped the adult quotient on this one. Yes, sir, I like it. I like it alot.
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I've a feeling this is what the movie should have been. This feels more like Hama's original.Could do with less Gung-Ho, though. Always hated that character. And I don't care for the original cartoon inspired relationship between Duke and Scarlett (where in the comic it was Snake Eyes and Scarlett). Though Ellis claimed he wanted to mix a little of the mythos of the book and the cartoon together, so we get a needless love triangle.So far, in the episodes I've watched, it seems Ellis is killing off the characters who had 70's/early 80's moustaches.
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You beat me to the love triangle nonsense. Well, done, and I heartily agree.
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Where all the cool characters die, and then replaced by new toys?
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And he will personally fuck each and every one of you.
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I was amazed at the DEATHS right off the bat. They just killed Joes, and it was fucking brilliant. I love everything about this project. The live-action movie doesn't even exist to me.
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Kids....remember the awesomeness of RESOLUTE when yer on these very talkbacks bitching about how horrible the live-action movie is. This is what GI JOE always should have been...and I hope to god that they go back to the resolute well and hire Ellis for another go around....I wanna see Cobra Commander unleash holy hell with a bowel disruptor!!!!!
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Good long list though.
My current favorite is Ignition City. Rusted Pulp Space Opera is the new Steam punk. Though it needs a new name.
Rust Opera? -
Tad bit neo-con at the end of the tenth episode, but otherwise, an absolute return to form. We haven't seen this type of Warren Ellis writing in quite a while, and it's beyond rewarding to get more of that stuff again - in animated form, no less.What I would want is to bring Mark Millar into this the next time. And then, all will be complete.
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Why the fuck do i even read anything you write herc, i should just start skipping to the TB.
that is fucking Shocking.
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"This is usually where things fall apart" when talking about his plan- and then the motherfucker blows up Moscow. RESOLUTE blatantly recognizes the 80s JOE cartoon and says "Bend over."
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For Gah Lak Tus
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I was a Gijoe kid in the 80's. The perfect age. I had every Joe figure, vehicle. You name it. My cousin and I always complained how they used laser guns in the cartoon or how they parachuted out of planes, just as they exploded. Well fuck all that! Hail the new GIJOE!!!
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MAN! am i happy to see people agree with me, i was thinking the same thing while watching this tonight, Snake eyes should get the girl dammit! stupid Duke:P
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That guy makes my fucking day, swear to bloody entrails.
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...Duke would get the girl, not a scarred-up mute. She'd tell Snake-Eyes, "Lets keep things as they are; I wouldn't want to ruin our frendship."
So it's more realistic this way. -
Good thing we've got it in a cartoon series where Storm Shadow knocked Snake-Eyes through steps made of rock. And it's clear in 'Resolute' that Scarlett was with Snake-Eyes at some point by what Duke asks her when he sends Snake-Eyes out on assignment. So yeah... not seeing the "realistic" side to that argument here.
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Probably most fans of the Hama comic agree with us.
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awesome pair right there.
Anyone else think they should do a GI:JOE prime-time action-drama? Fuck, they should just take the knight-rider crew and put them on gijoe, at least all the crazy bullshit they pull on KR every week would translate... and there *must* be cheezeball cgi lasers.
wait... NM thats a horrible idea.
or IS it? bunnaaanaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
P.S... I've been drinking. -
I would like to see a one hour episode on how Shipwreck got his Polly Parrot. Now that's entertainment!
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Great stuff and is more canon to the Marvel/Devil due comic than the previous anumated series. Larry Hama should be proud.
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You know it to be true.
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I can feel it in my heart to be true.
the new movie will suck teh bawls. -
stopped reading at funnybook
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i just had an accident in my pants.
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but am I the only one that misses the old voices?
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This is badass! Pitch perfect! Its just like the cartoon but with all the kiddie crap taken out...this is the tone the movie should have!
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Apr 25, 2009 9:08:05 AM CDT
It's very very overrated if that's what they are saying
by industrykiller!
But then again I expect that. Most faboys really get off on the fact that something simply exists or thats its given an "adult" edge. Resolute is overly procedural, still manages to be no less hammy than the cartoon, and butchers characters like Storm Shadow and Cobra Commander, who, without any sense of the trademark flamboyance, is just another run of the mill villain. Fuck.
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The Good: Just seeing G.I. Joe again was awesome. and seeing the series get a mature treatment was absolutely kickass. Actual gunplay, people dying, the sense of danger, etc, was awesome. And, I'd like to add, the Cobra Troopers look *awesome*! I'd love to see another installment that features some Crimson Guard. :)
The Bad: The dialogue was absolutely terrible. TERRIBLE. Even compared to the 80's cartoon. And it wasn't just the voice acting; The characters were written very, very poorly. Nobody could formulate a sentence that a real person would ever actually say. And the exposition was absolutely unbearable at times. A new character couldn't introduce him or herself without explaining who they were, what their plans were, their favorite color, what they had for lunch, etc. FFS, don't tell us. This is a visual medium. SHOW us! Oh, and Dial Tone is now a prepubescent middle school chick. I can deal with a re-envisioning of the character...but find someone older than 12 to do the voice acting. ;) And Cobra Commander's speech to his troops was just... ugh. pathetic. For the same reasons I mentioned above.
Overall, I'd say Resolute only comes half-way to meeting the "mature treatment of the G.I. Joe franchise". It has the violence and the adult themes to satisfy a mature audience, yes... But an adult will still grimace at how the dialogue brow beats us with exposition as if we were 10 years old again.
That said, each webisode did leave me wanting for more, which is a good sign. :) I would dearly love to see Resolute lead into a full blown animated series, and and in doing so, mature into a more polished, well written show. -
I love this micro series. Nice to see they kept it somewhat for adults instead of just for kids. I only hope that the new movie will be any good
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SUCKED ASS!!!...He was busy with this project.
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THIS IS WHAT THE FANS WANTED UNIVERSAL!
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I'm a huge Joe fan, and the dialogue in this was wretched. Why did they take an adult approach with the action and such an immature approach with the dialogue.
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And knowing is...ugh you finish the rest.
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If Moscow got wiped off the map, the nukes would be flying far and wide and COBRA would be the least of anyone's worries.
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that i've become so old and soulless that i can't enjoy cartoons anymore, i simply get bored. A shame.
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That was always the thing that pissed me off with the original series, that they never used "real" guns (even worse from that time period was the RAMBO cartoon series that did the same thing! He went from bawling about trying to find "Charlie's fucking LEEEEEGGGGS!" to shooting lasers and running around with spunky teen sidekicks). Unfortunately for Ellis, Doc Hammer and Jackson Publik already did this and did it much better in "The Venture Bros." (I doubt we're gonna see two F-15's play catch with Destro's head), plus more or less equated "G.I. Joe" with the Village People, which was pure genius.
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i just read his blog...which is great
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"Oh yeah, well, the village people called...and they want you to go FUCKING KILL YOURSELVES!"
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I decided not to watch the webisodes and wait till I could watch it on TV. I'm glad it's getting positive reviews. Am I the only one who thinks GI Joe deserves it's own series of novels written in that hard core Tom Clancy style?
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Theirs no way the movie will be as interesting as this.
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That is all.
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Damn, did that smell good!
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"Give him the stick- DON'T give him the stick!" You're not my dad!" "Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!"
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this just aired last night here in canada, it was pretty cool. i've never been a fan, i owned and enjoyed the toys but i honestly dont recall ever watching the series. i'm sure i saw bits and parts as it played before or after cartoons i followed back in the day but seriously...i have no memory of watching this. lol anyway it was decent animation and if it ever got turned into a series i'd give it a shot.
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And you can't say this is better than the upcoming Joe movie because you haven't freakn' seen it.
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There is like no decent dramatic action shows on this channel anymore. They have that Saturday night anime thing, but....yeah.
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Please stop pimping this guy's work. To compare him to garbage would be really unfair to refuse. His Star Wars books are absolutely terrible, and his "raping" of Dune is far worse than Bay has done to Transformers. It is worse than Lucas and the prequels. Anderson is a hack of the highest degree.
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I was/am a huge Joe fan. I grew up in the 80's and like many of you owned several, if not a majority of the toys. It was awesome to see a re-imagining of the original cartoon. Now what I am extremely upset about is this so-called movie coming out in August. I appreciate how people say that we 80's people need to let go of what we had and allow people to re-imagine those properties, but I just cannot let go of what was, at one point in time, my guide in life (well, sort of guide). I looked up to those characters. I actually got a little choked up that Bazooka was killed right off the bat. And again, I appreciate the need for a re-imagining, but come on, the movie is not GI Joe. I mean if you throw together a bunch of characters and call them by the same name and throw the title of GI Joe on it then it is the same thing, but there is no way that a bunch of people decked out in black armor is GI Joe, no way. And now I am rambling, because it upsets me so. One last point: my bro and pops saw an extended version of the trailer, and my pops say, "Why are they calling this GI Joe?" Now that is weird. A man in his 60's recognizing that a cartoon property in the 80's that his son loved is not what Hollywood is creating in 2009 is just sad. With that said, Resolute seems exactly what the movie should look like. I am a sad man... and feel a little ashamed at my feelings towards this whole situation. Oh well.
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...anybody else think it's odd that they've got an Englishman writing about "A Real American Hero"?
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And a nice prelude to the upcoming live-action movie... even though the two aren't connected. Anyone who watched the original 80s cartoon will LOVE this update. :)
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"Stop all tha downloadin."
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I only just watched the first bit on that youtube embed. Looks pretty damned kick-ass. I can think of better Cobras to kill off than Major Bludd though. Killing Bazooka's fine. Even as a kid I though his itty-bitty "bazooka" weapons wuz stoopid.
But, if nobody says, "and knowing is half the battle," at least once during the series, I revoke my endorsement. -
Don't let fucking Bay anywhere near it.
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Apologizing for going after and kicking terrorists' a$$es (like a certain current President), Warren Ellis can be French for all I care. Just don't give us any mealy-mouthed BS about how Cobra simply hates us because we won't "understand" them and GI Joe is nothing more than an international bully acting unilaterally. >:(
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They give us all that edgy, gritty thing when they do takes on American icons, I guess to make it more ironic. And it sells, so go figure.
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bask in his wisdom on the adult swim site.
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And Hasbro wanted someone who didn't know anything about GIjoe to write it. So basically Hasbro is on crack and it is just plain luck that this came out so great anyway! I know there are problems but there is just so little great animation out these days that you just really can't criticize. I really feel for the Cobra deaths! They are all great characters. And what? Not many Joes died yet in comparison. And I could care less about Bazooka. Hahah. Not to be mean. He sucked.They should of killed Duke cause there would be one less Joe with a raspy voice to listen to! Even though Ellis isn't a fan you can tell has done his research. Packrat is pretty obscure and didn't do much to my recollection except midway through the Marvel comics. And Cobra commander is pretty scary in this. I've got to admit. The voice actors of the 80's cartoon (especially for characters like Duke and Flint) are better then in this though.
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in a desert. As it turns out this taste great too! And now I know!
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on the resolute site. Cock suckers. How are they from different countries? You know who has members from many different countries? Not Joe. Cobra!
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Sometimes this stuff can be as disingenuous and coldly-calculated as the most watered-down Disney sitcom. But, whatever...it's totally hardcore!
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in the book, because Scarlett isn't a stupid, stereotypical ditz. SnakeEyes had the worst luck and he sacrificed his face for her. She would be really fucked up if she didn't respond to that. She can think for herself and that's why she was a good character.
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And knowing is half the battle!
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My kingdom for a fucking edit button!
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Venture brothers already nailed this one.
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"That's just bloody cheating!"
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..no red and blue lasers. (Take it away Abom: ("Byew,Byew..Buyeewww!")
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It's one of my favorite series at the moment, even if it takes at least two months to get the next issue. Oh, and what about Ellis' brilliant novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN?
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People who want to fuck Godzilla. And SpyGuy you know you would fuck Trix. We all would fuck Trix.
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Admittedly its not perfect, but its a damn fine reinvention. I am loving this and can't wait for the finale tonight!
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Not my bag...errrr, thing. Let someone else walk around with a basketball between their legs.
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Apr 25, 2009 5:21:28 PM CDT
channing tatum sucks more than paris hilton
by supercowbell4therequestformorecowbell
f him!
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While I don't care that Bazooka got offed, I'm gonna miss Storm Shadow. What's snake eyes gonna do without his proverbial white whale? Will Duke become Cyclops to Snake Eyes' Wolverine?
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bea arthur died today...fuck, i am old
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It's a fucking cartoon, you right-wing anti-Obama fucktards. Get over it. Jesus jumped up christ... "Warren Ellis can be French for all I care." What is that? How stupid are you? I hope the French invade and beat you unconscious with their delicious crusty baguettes.
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This is what the movie should be like.
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scarlet picks duke over snake eyes...
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Bullets aren't an improvement over lasers if they still don't hit anyone. And they had to keep emphasizing how they were killing people. "They KILLED Bazooka" "That's right, they KILLED Bazooka" "Now we're going to KILL Cobra Commander" Awful.
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F'n A!
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Apr 25, 2009 9:27:57 PM CDT
The Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow storyline was pretty weak.
by grandmufftarkin
Don't get me wrong, I like what was done here, but the whole "Why don't you teach me the SuperDeathMove." "He taught YOU the SuperDeathMove?!" was straight out of Kill Bill II. Not particularly original.
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And....it kinda shit the bed. Wayyyy too much build-up for such a short and predictable climax. I suppose that's due to the limitations of being a made for the web series...I was just kind of hoping for a little more bang for the buck.
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I liked the fact that it felt like an animated episode of the old Marvel comic series, which I followed intently. The characters looked like how I remembered them, which was a plus. It all came flooding back to me as I recognized characters that did or didn't have speaking parts. And props to giving a damn about Tunnel Rat. He was one of my favorite action figures with his giant backpack and massive rifle.
But then Cobra still hasn't learned to aim for shit. I don't know how you can miss anyone firing a machine gun at practically point blank range. Bazooka's passing wasn't much of anything. Just a corpse on a slab. At least have Alpine shedding a tear in the background or something. No one else seemed to give damn, but friggen Alpine would have.
And no Shipwreck. Nuh-uh. Unacceptable. He WAS the show back in the day. The only member of the Joe team that didn't even want to be a member of the Joe team, and seemed like he was based off of Jack Nicholson from "The Last Detail". All of my schoolyard chums wanted to be Snake-Eyes. Plebs. Shipwreck 4 Life. Did Snake-Eyes have a running dialogue with a wisecracking parrot? Nope. Not like could actually crack wise with it, anyway.
Oh, and I wish it wasn't Dial-Tone that was turned into the cliched spunky computer chick. Another one of my favorite action figures. It was the backpack. It was always about the backpack. Why not Mainframe? Nobody liked Mainfraime. -
Who plays with Nick Cave and the Dirty Three? If so, damn honkie, save some awesome for the rest of us!
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The whole shbang on Cartoon Network.It has 30 mins more as ending to the webpisodes...THIS WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!
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The "Seventh Step to the Sun" technique. So this superninja move can kill in "only" seven steps? You can kill someone in only ONE step just by BREAKING THEIR NECK! Or probably any number of lethal ways.Besides, Storm Shadow ALREADY showed in the first 10 minutes that he could kill a huge Joe like Bazooka (Bazooka Joe???) silently and without leaving a mark on him. What's the big whoop about this stupid trick his uncle wouldn't show him... one that's so dang complex, apparently, that SS couldn't figure it out himself after learning about 83% of the system!Sheesh! Talk about wasting your life over nothing...
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I liked it, but it wasn't quite a homerun for me. I think that because Ellis was not a person who had loved the property and knew little about it it really showed in the story. He missed important elements that would have pulled things together more tidily than a fan would have, plus he killed most of the Cobra supporting cast like Major Bludd, Storm Shadow and Zartan, yep all gone. Stabbed, head crushed, and shot. I did like the casting of Duke's voice. It was the same guy that did Spike from Cowboy Beebop wasn't it? Having Snake Eyes be deformed by Zartan shooting him through the jaw was a bit unsatisfying as was the half hearted resolution to the comics Scarlet loving Snake Eyes and the cartoon one loving Duke, "I chose you." Was a little ham fisted. overall though I was pleased. It holds promise for future instalments, hopefully with a writer more familiar with the backstory. Hell, give Hamma a shot, that would truly be awesome. Overall no damage done that cannot be undone, save for the nuking of the Flagg and the fact that they really wasted three (four counting Bazooka) great characters, but I could at least see a return by Zartan. It was the best GI joe effort I have seen in many years and felt mostly right. As for the live action movie, I still say Faux Joe given what I have seen thus far on it and have little to no faith in that project. Sorry I know I haven't seen it yet but I am getting seriously bad vibes off it. I give resolut a 7 out of 10. Good effort nice restart.
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group in the third or fourth episode wearing black? Haven't seen the rest of it, yet -- waiting for it to air in an half hour.
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True, nobody liked Mainframe. As for Shipwreck he WAS there, during Duke's pep talk on the Flagg, he was just redesigned a bit. No more bird, and now he was wearing a black jump suit and a skull cap, which he pulled off when they mentioned Bazooka, but he was just a background character. Also has anyone noticed that the first Zartan figure that was put out in the GI Joe 25th Anniv. toy line was actually based on the Resolute Zartan? I wondered where they got that costume for the figure, now I know and knowing IS half the battle.
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Apr 26, 2009 1:36:19 AM CDT
Shipwreck was there at the big motivational speech...
by theghostwholurks
Along with his stupid, nasty parrot pooping on his shoulder.
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A little useless trivia I pick up over the years is that Rat and was based on Larry Hamma at least physically, having never met him I don't know about the accent and voice, but the toy sculpt was supposedly based on the man himself as a thank you from Hasbro to the original comics writer. I wonder if making him one of the heros of Resolute was a nod to him again? Given that the character only got a little play in the GI Joe movie and comics, I would kinda think so.
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man, there is just no replacing that man. God rest him.
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fucking hate Russians
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Cobra still came off as incredibly inept (my girlfriend turned to me at one point and asked why anybody works for that guy) and I really think if they let Duke die, it would've been better. Plus, I think it would've been better if not everybody would have been able to get off the Flagg in time. Sure, Bazooka died, but if you make the heroes too invincible, the threat ceases to be serious.And killing Zartan is just not cool.
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Cobralalalalalalala
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Agree with all your points. Also, I think Ellis went over the top with the fantastical, wuxia-style martial arts (instead of real-world Taijutsu), and in leaning more toward the beyond ludicrous sci-fi of the old cartoon.Noticed the Zartan design from the recent iterations in the toy line, as well.
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killed Duke, if they must off anyone? Been sick of him being shoved down our throats ever since his second wave appearance with Road Block in the book. Flint makes for a better field commander if they aren't going to use Hawk.I imagine if they did make more episodes that they'll either be retconned, or a prequel, as characters sell figures.Here is an audio interview with Hama if you want to know what his voice sounds like: http://tinyurl.com/d4jsfs
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The pacing was terrible, they barely showed any of Cobra, especially Cobra Commander (and his original voice will never be replaced), they were unloading rounds and rounds of bullets at each other and didn't hit shit. It was nice seeing all the characters, and I was surprised I remembered so many names, but this was a completely fuck-up. I sincerely hope they keep it to this one little episode. I just hope the movie is better than this, but I can't imagine it will be.
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his skin was laughable, as it was in the old cartoon. They should've portrayed it like Klytus from the 1980 Flash Gordon.
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That's what I wanna know.
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Best G.I. Joe episode ever? Nah--I remember better old school eps...But, I think this just reveals the weakness of the original material. You can only do so much with this concept, and even with the trappings of "cool" it still comes across as kind of stupid. It still looks like they're just trying to give screen time to a bunch of different toys instead of creating a believable world with actual character development. I agree about the pacing too...it was disjointed when viewed like this (as a complete "movie"), and even kind of boring.
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He nearly ruined the movie. Only reason I had his figure as a kid was so that I could get his "tank" which was pretty neat. But who designs a "tank" that keeps the driver's entire body exposed to fire?
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wish they'd used the 80's animation and voices though.
But is was basically the weather dominator split into 3 pieces plot though -
"Red Rocket's Glare" is the best episode, bitches! Look it up!
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some of the stuff was cool. Loved the Snakeyes stuff. But they lost me with the ending. of all places to destroy why did Duke choose Springfield? Why not just out in the ocean where people wouldn't die? or a desert? *shrug*
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Yeah that makes no sense...but so far it works from what I've seen, going to watch it soon on my DVR. I hope they do the same with Transformers soon.
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According to TiVo, this isn't showing again anytime within the next two weeks. Was that the only time it's ever going to be on TV?
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that's just where cobra was hiding out, and they made the effort to show the town was abandoned so there probably wasnt any collateral damage.
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RIP Cobra Commander, Breaker, Gung Ho Ripper, Steeler,
Sparkplug Witwicky, Defensor, Starscream and Wheeljack. -
I always loved Flint's original voice cause he sounded like Harrison Ford. He was played by Bill Ratner. And apparently Cartoon Network can get him for Robot Chicken but not this.
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...was where the ion weapon was located, so duke reset the coordinates of the beam to target it's own power station. More importantly, springfield was a shout out to the original comics. Cobra actually took over the town completely. All of the citizens were Cobra.
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Exactly what the summer film should be. But ya know what, at least we got something like this at all. If they did a series as well, it would be nice, and I'd even buy resolute if it comes out on DVD
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I loved that Warren Ellis was allowed to kill off Joes and Cobras, destroy Moscow, destroy the U.S.S. Flagg, and so on. Dialtone was an obvious Ellis favorite given his penchant for writing tech-savvy chicks, but I would've liked to have seen Shipwreck given some decent screen time beyond the "Holy Diver" parody on THE VENTURE BROS. I seriously doubt the upcoming live-action movie is going to capture the spirit of the original series and comics as well, so at least I have a copy of this to enjoy thanks to my spiffy Panasonic DVD recorder.
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hell, every other town in the midwest is named Springfield.
One won't be missed ;p -
DAMN THEM!!!
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I would have cheered.
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Yeah, I liked this but I've gotta say I have a soft spot for The Funhouse and things like Cobra sending its lawyer twins into battle.
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I just caught up on the ten webisodes on adultswim.com, was the movie just the ten webisodes strung together or something else?
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Ellis wrote one of the best comics ever, Transmetropolitan, and you don't even mention it in your article? That plus writing like "Best episode every concocted" make this site so much less than it should be.
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Between him and Lorenzo Music, man...it's tough.
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Why was every Joe talking in this asshole deep voice. Duke, Flint, Roadblock... all throaty bullshit. And killing off Bazooka with a note in his pie-hole? Weak. Cobra Commander getting trapped in a fallout shelter? Yawn. Chris Latta was the man. Tried to rob Kramer though. Bad form.
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yeah, the movie was all the web-isodes put together with the debut of the finale before it was posted to the net
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The Captain... His name is The Captain!
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I loved that comic! Amy Chasing, you got good taste.
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They only hired four actors for this, that's why they all sound the same.
I wish they would have got some of the old actors back. -
that it sucked unfathomable balls. Never has so much violence, death and boomy things been so BORING. First few minutes was a montage of "WTF is going on!?"
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I miss the red and blue lasers
Where's my Weather Dominator!
Scattered in 3 parts around the globe no less! No More, No Less!
Not this new fangled magic tech, that's neather red or blue lasers, or a weather dominator -
Folks,G.I.JOE is not badass. In an attempt to make it badass Ellis just made it sillier.
Snake Eyes has to fight Storm Shadow because he killed their master. Storm Shadow killed their mentor because he taught Snake Eyes a secret technique and not him?
Isn't that chapter one of the BIG BOOK OF MARTIAL ARTS CLICHES? -
What is wrong with some of you people? This is what GI Joe SHOULD be! I don't know what you expect, maybe it's the SS movie. + I <3 Warren Ellis.
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love Warren Ellis.
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I think I can say that with confidence. It ended fairly abrubtly and the action scenes were lazy in places (the heroes stand in one place firing, without bothering to take cover as machine gun fire spits to their left and right), but otherwise nice animation and very entertaining. I'd like to see a show made of this.
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nerosday, no shipwreck is in part 3, parrot and all. No lines, but he's standing behind Flint in the group scene. Therese 3 are the only eps I've seen so far, and I think they're alright... seems like the balance is slightly off. Cobra should have hit the joes harder in the bombing at the beginning. They killed one guy???? silly. ( equally silly that all the joes are on the flagg )
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I agree 100%... from what I have seen of the live action film, it looks like they have missed the mark COMPLETELY.
As for this animated version, I like how they have taken visual cues from the Real American Hero series and updated the look and character design.
As you said, some goofy gun play here and there, but overall, very well done... sorta has the more serious feel that the Marvel comic series had, instead of the 80s cartoon, which as a kid, seemed full of silliness even back then. -
GI Joe worked as a light cartoon, and it worked as a more serious, often violent comic book (I remember a hostage being killed and dropped from a plane in Special Missions -- much more shocking than vaporizing Moscow with a green blob device). This combined the two and got it wrong.
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Apr 27, 2009 11:33:06 AM CDT
People complaining about villains with bad aim are silly.
by anakinsdiapers
It's an actioner. The heroes are always crack shots and the villains are always bad shots, unless it's dramaticly appropriate for the hero to get shot. It's action film 101. Why complain about it with G.I. fucking Joe but let classics like , oh, Die Hard off the hook. Why not complain why Die Hard was more than Half an Hour long, as John McClain should have been shot dead in the first big fire fight...oy.
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Vin may look the part... but I would hate to hear him try and pull off a Scottish accent... YIKES!
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I think of "The Viper" episode. An elite special forces team explore the mystery of "the viper". Comedy ensues!
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How the fuck did you leave one of the greatest comics series ever off of that list Herc? That is fucking ridiculous. That series is way more respected and loved than the fucking Authority! Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
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A band of vipahs, playin our tune
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but some of it reminded me the "Scooby Doo Murder Files" skit on Family Guy.
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I'm very impressed with the story,action and animation. The character redesigns resemble the original Joe/Cobra look but with slight alterations although the love triangle was uncalled for, the subplot between snake eyes and stormy was one of the high points and not to mention cobra commander being the true ruthless leader.(slashing necks at that.)best animated one shot of the year along with hulk vs wolverine.The live action movie can't fuck with Resolute.
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Holy shit, bro. same here! That episode always stuck with me.
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I doubt we'll see anything from Sommers that even comes close to matching that for sheer fucking awesomeness.
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Haven't given a damn about GIJOE in twenty years, and it's impossible to revisit the past, but this was sweet. The Snake Eyes stuff was fantastic. I watched this with my nine year old and we had a blast, I let him stay up late to see the end. I think Snake Eyes is better if he doesn't get the girl, though it bothered me a bit at first since I mostly was into the comics as a kid. Heh, thank god the guns didn't shoot lasers :)
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