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Herc’s Seen Things Get Nasty
On Tonight’s AMAZING RACE!!

I am – Hercules!!
CBS is billing tonight’s edition of “The Amazing Race” as boasting “the most memorable pit stop ever.” Two twentysomething contestants – deaf college grad Luke Adams and Amazonian marketing assistant Jennifer Hoffman – get into physical confrontations, and Jen’s language turns mean. “I called him a bitch because it was a bitch move,” says Jen. That’s just the start of the unsportsmanlike behavior that continues well after Phil Keogan informs the contestants of their weekly rankings. Tame stuff compared to the blows we’ve seen traded recently on cable’s “The Bad Girls Club” and “The Road Rules/Real World Challenge,” to be sure, but unusually uncivilized for “Race.” The pit stop becomes memorable when Jen, Luke and their teammates arrive at the episode’s finish line almost simultaneously, and host Keogan adds fuel to the fire with uncharacteristically Probstian episode-ending inquiries. The big destination this week is Guilin, China, where absurdly fabulous Chinese-American Tammy Jih and bossy big bro Victor come to regret not paying closer attention in Chinese school when they discover which tasks will soon be assigned them. The good news is Tammy & Victor both speak Mandarin, and Tammy visited Guilin earlier for spring break. It’s an especially tricky week for dwarf stuntmen brothers Mark & Michael, penalized with an extra cosmotological task and forced to start in last place for rule-breaking. There’s also a vicious bird attack, the teams have to choose between choreography and calligraphy, and the redheaded cheerleaders run into trouble when they, rather predictably, choose choreography. I remind everyone that the people who complain most about reality shows are always the ones most often caught by their moms masturbating to “American Gladiators.” 8 p.m. Sunday. CBS.

SHIPPING NOW!! The New Prequel About The People Who Thought Cylons Were A Good Idea!!

ALSO SHIPPING NOW!! Herc Says This Prequel To Abrams’ Movie Rocks!!

Readers Talkback
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  • April 19, 2009, 12:50 a.m. CST

    first bitches!!

    by tvs_frank

    masturbate to that!

  • April 19, 2009, 12:50 a.m. CST

    amazing race is no longer amazing

    by tvs_frank

    would rather what paint dry-more drama

  • April 19, 2009, 12:52 a.m. CST

    watch paint dry

    by tvs_frank

    damn you for lack of edit option!

  • April 19, 2009, 1:14 a.m. CST

    boring

    by Zoinks

    yep

  • April 19, 2009, 1:34 a.m. CST

    I think Amazing Race's first season was its best.

    by NinjaRap

    Don't get me wrong, the show is still better than most reality shows, but that season had a "Fast Forward" available on every leg (but each team could still only use it once for the whole season, making the Fast Forward far more interesting strategically), and no "Yield" and "U-Turn" crap that came later. We still had teams of two (I'm sure they'll never resurrect the "family race" again), but they were one of the most memorable collections of characters on the show, yet before things got outlandishly gimmicky ("They're twin brothers who are both midgets, Catholic priests - and gay!").

  • April 19, 2009, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Thank you producers for less airport drama this Race.

    by Flim Springfield

    I got so sick of entire first-halves of episodes taking place in airports, and finally that hasn't happened much this year. Unfortunately I don't find the teams very interesting, though I like the bitchy redhead's hot body.

  • April 19, 2009, 3:29 a.m. CST

    I'm the other way round

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    I complain about "American Gladiators" and get caught masterbating to reality shows.

  • April 19, 2009, 4:02 a.m. CST

    Reality Shows are for window licking morons.

    by FookU

    There I said it. Fucking mouth breathing idiots. You assholes that watch this shit are the reason television is full of this garbage.

  • April 19, 2009, 5:59 a.m. CST

    Herc. go fuck yourself in the ear.

    by champvinyl

  • April 19, 2009, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Great!

    by NudeandAroused

    I very much enjoy "the Amazing race." It is really cool to see other places in the world. I am not really thrilled with the competitors this season, it still doesn't take away from the overall show.

  • April 19, 2009, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Not to try to hijack the talkback or anything

    by johnnyangelheart

    But isn't Survivor awesome this year? I don't think I've ever seen a bigger nutjob than Coach and Tyson is hilarious. Hope they make it to the finals.

  • April 19, 2009, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Mr Fooku

    by johnnyangelheart

    While supporting your right to your opinion, I respectfully disagree.

  • April 19, 2009, 10:28 a.m. CST

    This is the first Amazing Race I quit watching

    by walrusholder

    Nothing worth watching this time around. The teams were boring and despite going to some cool places there was just nothing very intersesting going on.

  • April 19, 2009, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Especially tricky episode?

    by The Funketeer

    When has it not been tricky for those 2 morons? And the Amazing Race is not a reality show, it's game show.

  • April 19, 2009, 11:04 a.m. CST

    I love it, but can't get bening any teams

    by Larry of Arabia

    I just can't find that one likeable team to follow this time as in last seasons. I'm not even against anyone. Last few seasons there was always an ugly American team or petty getting by on their looks team that you just can't stand. Maybe this week will change that and I'll end up hating one of these two.

  • April 19, 2009, 11:05 a.m. CST

    er, I mean behind any teams.

    by Larry of Arabia

  • April 19, 2009, 11:15 a.m. CST

    PS - Survivor's Seagal parody

    by Larry of Arabia

    Coach is a parody of what person would be like if every theatrically released Steven Seagal movie was a multipart documentary about one man. I'm just waiting for him to say, "When I was in Alaska on a vision quest I passed on the hot nude Eskimo woman and chose the grandmother. That showed that I am one charged with saving the ecology, thus Brendon had to be send home at council."

  • April 19, 2009, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Yeah, Larry, I'm the same way. No one to really root for

    by jim

    and at the same time no one to root against either. Watching Mel White hold his own in physical challenges with people half his age was impressive. Too bad they are gone.<P> johnnyangel, Tyson is a great villain. "I love watching people cry as they see their dreams crushed before them". And Coach is like the love-child of Steven Seagal and Indiana Jones (if we are to believe his story of "Coach vs. The Pygmy People of the Amazon").

  • April 19, 2009, 7:17 p.m. CST

    Tammy

    by NudeandAroused

    Must say that Tammy is hot. Though the NFL cheerleaders are also hot.

  • April 19, 2009, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Agreed, they are all unsympathetic

    by aversiontherapy2

    From the bratty cheerleader to the self-entitled deaf guy they're all annoying. The only decent team was eliminated two weeks ago.

  • April 19, 2009, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Amazing Race is a big bitchfest these days

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Hell, most of them can't even pile up logs. I'd just go the rest stop and suffer a three hour penalty.

  • April 19, 2009, 10:09 p.m. CST

    The deaf kid's a jerk.

    by Shermdawg

    He clearly was at fault in both instances and the reason the girls were laughing is because he had mommy there portraying him as the victim, and playing the handicapped card.

  • April 19, 2009, 11:42 p.m. CST

    Tammy isn't hot....she's super freakin' hot!!

    by Ka Dargo

    That's a ridiculously pretty Asian girl right there. And that deaf kid did elbow her first.

  • April 20, 2009, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Where's the...

    by tj donkey show

    Deadliest Catch talk back. Best fucking show on TV

  • April 20, 2009, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Margie is kind of an asshole

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Yes Luke is deaf, but's he's also an adult. Let Luke explain himself about what happened. Stop playing that "Deaf Card" shit.

  • April 20, 2009, 2:15 a.m. CST

    Jaime's right nipple

    by Anime_Nut

    Anybody else obsessed with Jaime's (bitchy redhead) right nipple? Either that one's super sensitive, or the left one is dead inside.

  • April 20, 2009, 2:18 a.m. CST

    I think Tammy is hot, too!

    by lockesbrokenleg

    I keep waiting for her to haul off and punch her brother in the face.

  • April 20, 2009, 3:21 a.m. CST

    now that was just awkward...

    by natecore

    the deaf guy and his mom pitched quite the fit. Its probably not easy (or desirable) to live not being able to hear, but that's what I call overreacting. I had to pause the video b/c I felt uncomfortable...couldn't imagine what Vic/Tammy/Phil were thinking.

  • April 20, 2009, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Shermdawg

    by NudeandAroused

    You are absolutely right. The kid is a jerk and the Mom was playing to the camera. That didn't work at all for me.

  • April 20, 2009, 4:48 a.m. CST

    Who knows how it really played out

    by The McPoyle Clan

    You always gotta take reality show controversy with a grain of salt knowing they edit for maximum effect. Funny though, how pushing and shoving counts as shocking stuff on geriatric CBS when the losers on MTV duels beat on each other in drunken rages.<br><br>From what we were shown though, the deaf guy was acting like a pussy, and he acted like one of those "see, I've overcome my (whatever) to be normal" disadvantaged people until they pull out the pity-me card when it suits them.

  • April 20, 2009, 11:13 a.m. CST

    They were both at fault, and they both overreacted

    by jim

    First off, both teams need to be smacked for not seeing the clue box. They were all standing 2 feet from it for how long? What, were they expecting it to be on the roof, instead of 3 feet from the Speed Bump box?<p>Anyway, Jen says her momentum, running to the box but getting beat there, carried her into Luke. But then she reaches around him to try and grab the clue. That's what got her the elbow. Will 2 seconds make much difference? He got there first, take a step back and get the next one. <p>Luke getting all indignant about being called a bitch, after he elbowed her, only made things worse. Dude should have just let it go. Instead he plows her down running to the next clue box. It's not like he can read the clue until his mother gets there anyway, so let Jen have it and grab the next one. <p>However, it did seem like Kisha was laughing at him. He was signing like crazy but it was when he started to say something that she clearly snickered.

  • April 20, 2009, 1:38 p.m. CST

    They were both out of line

    by MGTHEDJ

    "Amazing Race" is a game show. And when the "Survivor" winners were cast a few years ago and started running all the "Survivor" strategies-getting help from the taxi driver, sabotaging the other teams, etc., the show clarified the rules so it wouldn't happen again. This is why the 2 stuntmen were busted this season.<p>The casting was bad this year. They picked people who were connected to the entertainment business. A screenwriter, an entertainment lawyer, 2 NFL cheerleaders, 2 airline workers who were on flights past teams were on, a Hollywood personal trainer, and were the 2 rednecks on one of the CMT shows-"Redneck Wedding" or one of their other shows? Expand the selection pool from now on, please.-----later----m

  • April 20, 2009, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Phil tirned into Dr. Phil for a second

    by lockesbrokenleg

    Poor Phil. He seems like such a nice fellow, he has to deal with these idiots every race.

  • April 21, 2009, 6:25 p.m. CST

    It just really isn't a reality show until someone gets killed!

    by MrMysteryGuest

    Then the show will have its highest ratings - then get cancelled the next day!

  • April 22, 2009, 11:33 a.m. CST

    No, The Deaf Kid Is An ASSHOLE

    by Rebeck2

    To call him a jerk - while I appreciate the old-fashioned gentility - is to give him a break because of his handicap...which, in itself, is prejudice. He's a complete asshole, the most ruthless player on the race. His mother is the classic apologist and enabler. The kid's also a bigtime pussy, crying and whining the whole time and getting all worked up over a tiny cut. Deaf or not, this mother has spoiled this motherfucker and I'm hoping one of the sisters lays him out in the next episode. Fat chance I know, but hope springs eternal. At least don't let him win.

  • April 22, 2009, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Oops

    by Rebeck2

    I used mother and motherfucker in the same sentence. That's just wrong. It's like eating chicken and eggs, it's just not done. I apologize.